#thank you also <3 im just going to take it easy until it gets late enough i can justify going to bed LOL

[dandydiary]

i have no idea off the top of my head who the crush u showed recentlys name is but can u share any thoughts of that chara or reason u fell…. maybe if u even already have a insert idea…. funny gush pass 🎫 (hope ur night gets a bit easier on u! 🤍)

OH U MEAN CHIDARUMA? I'D LOVE TO....

okay so its been a few years since i read dorohedoro (and i will go back and reread because i feel like i didn't appreciate the series properly the first time around, but i digress,) but i got attached to chidaruma from his first appearence. he's kind of a sleeper character? because he IS introduced as an insanely powerful character but doesn't have a lot of story presence at the start, whilst also being omnipresent as the literal closest equivilant to God in the series - the leader of hell. obviously that hooked me but his main cham to me is he's very silly in a black comedic way: his first omake has him showing the reader how he sleeps by ripping off his horns and tongue, not because he has to sleep but he likes being cozy.

i'm fascinated by his deep fascination with humans because he discovered them after he created sorcerers, his own version of humanity, that then fail to live up to the humanity he discovered. his true goal is pretty simplistic but kept vague for most of the series, existing on a hair trigger where his appearences ranged from organising a christmas party for the devils that work for him to literally skinning a man alive over several pages.

ultimately, he is driven by bordem. he's lived so long and was canonically the first being to ever exist, which is why he made sorcerers in the first place and why he grows attached to humans. there's actually a really beautiful moment where he opens up to the main protagonist about how distressing it is to him that he can't understand why they would risk their life for their bestfriend, and then has to acknowlege his lack of understanding is WHY he's doomed to be lonely - which is the root cause of EVERY action. he's incredibly alone and he doesn't know HOW to remedy that, because nothing he's attempted so far has worked.

it brings a lot of humanity to a character who isn't and has never been human, which from a writing standpoint is something i find incredibly interesting. i think that's a reason i got so attached to him; the idea of finding something human in the unhumane and possibly showing it compassion in a way to remedy that inherent loneliness.

i actually did have a drhdr self insert! a while back which was meant to be a bride of frankenstein type of deal, with her being a sorcerer who made her own devil form out of the parts of desicrated devils - effectively a bride for the ruler of all.

i am NOT pleased with most of this design anymore, even though i enjoy the concept, because it's very obvious i was uncomfortable actually making the devil form look inhuman which is... the point? of the devil form? i also can't remember much about the sorcerer herself? i think her whole thing was she made insects out of inanimate objects (i.e mimics) which is interesting enough i'd probably reuse it, just... very differently.

i don't think her and chidaruma would go anywhere. i think she'd adore him and he'd have a passing interest in her that ultimately wouldn't develop like... at all. maybe that'll change if i revisit the series and decide i want to s/i with it! who knows <3

tjhank you for the gush pass i ALWAYS treasure them. mwah

[jezebelblues]

Hi can you do another dad!Harry x reader where Niall meets atlas and he and Harry teach him how to play football and Harry Niall playfully argue about what team atlas will root for. And Niall also wants to teach him how to play the guitar.

𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐄 ࿔‧ ֶָ֢˚˖𐦍˖˚ֶָ֢ ‧࿔

⋆˚✿˖° 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛

summary: check the request u silly goose ^

also hello anon, thank u for the request <3 sorry it took so long! hopefully it’s smthn u liked :)

cw: dadrry 🤨, unedited

word count: approx 2.3k

| i’m trying to go in order with the requests ive gotten. a lot have been dadrry which i LOVVE however im gonna take the smallest breather from it because i’ve been wanting to get a few other things out that isn’t dadrry/kid related which i hope yall will still like :^)

masterlist

harry bent over and plucked a dandelion from the ground, its yellow petals nearly glowing in the gentle light. “here,” he murmured, tucking it behind atlas’s ear, nestled into dark curls that mirrored his own.

his boy squinted up at him, dimple deepening as he tilted his head, casting that same unguarded, easy smile. harry’s own grin met it, his eyes crinkling, his nose scrunching up just so. “sunny flower for my sunshine,” he said, voice a low, soft thing.

the world outside was painted in a wash of soft honeyed glow, every blade of grass dipped in a warm, dewy shimmer. somewhere overhead, the clouds stretched in lazy tufts, the kind that would drift by in no hurry, letting the sky peek through in swathes of baby blue.

they were tucked beneath the willow tree at the back of the yard, both of them shirtless, shoeless, and dusted with dirt. atlas sat cross-legged, his chubby fingers digging into the cool soil with the focus only a four-year-old could muster. he was on a mission, hunting for the little grey bugs he loved, the ones that rolled into perfect balls with the gentlest nudge.

“look, bub,” harry whispered, flipping over his hand to reveal one of the bugs crawling along his dirt-streaked palm. atlas’s face lit up, eyes wide and delighted. he gently took the bug, murmuring, “hello, potato,” as if the creature was an old friend. carefully, he coaxed it onto his own hand, watching it sprawl out its tiny legs, finally uncurling. “there y’are,” he said with a satisfied little sigh, his finger brushing gently over its shell before he let it crawl back into the soil.

harry watched him, struck by the quiet tenderness in his son’s movements, his heart swelling with a mixture of pride and awe. atlas’s world was so simple, and yet somehow so vast, filled with magic in places adults so often overlooked.

his son’s head whipped around suddenly, catching sight of a patch of tiny purple flowers hiding near his dad’s knee. he scrambled over, tugging a few loose with careful fingers, his face lighting up like he’d found treasure. harry chuckled, watching his son’s single-minded determination as he came closer, leaning down to face his dad.

“shh,” he whispered, pressing a finger to his lips with the gravest expression he could muster. then, with a careful hand, he began tucking the little flowers into harry’s curls, his small brows furrowed in focus. one by one, purple petals nestled into the messy locks until he was satisfied. “now we match, daddy,” he said, the faintest look of triumph on his face.

harry couldn’t help the way his heart tugged, warmth spreading in his chest. “mama needs one, too,” atlas murmured, glancing around with a serious look.

“does she now?” he stood, brushing dirt from his knees, lifting atlas onto his hip with a grunt. his feet made soft imprints in the grass as they moved toward his wife, who lay stretched out on a towel near the front yard, soaking up the late afternoon sun. her eyes opened as they approached, a gentle smile tugging at her lips.

“what kind of flower, do y’think?” harry mumbled, nudging atlas’s cheek with his nose.

atlas thought for a long moment, glancing between his parents. “m’the prettiest one.”

“now that’s a hard call, mate,” he chuckled. “your mum’s too pretty for just one flower, really. her beauty would outshine it.”

atlas didn’t quite understand, but he knew his dad was talking about how lovely his mama was, so he nodded, satisfied.

just then, the clink of a metal latch echoed from the house. niall appeared, hands on his hips, a football tucked under one arm, grinning as he made his way down the steps toward them. “ready for a bit o’ footie, then?” he called, his voice bright with that familiar lilting accent.

atlas perked up immediately, wriggling in harry’s hold. harry set him down, watching as he bolted across the lawn, little legs pumping as he met niall halfway.

“now, before we get started, little man,” niall began, crouching down to atlas’s level, “we need to sort somethin’ important.”

harry groaned, wandering over with a lazy grin. “oh, here we go. already brainwashing him, are ya?”

niall chuckled, tousling atlas’s hair. “only tryin’ to steer him right, yeah? see, atlas, your dad here likes the red team, manchester united.” he said it in a tone like he was explaining a tragic flaw. “but me? i’m derby county through and through. we’re the true underdogs.” he tapped atlas’s nose for emphasis.

atlas tilted his head, clearly confused. he looked up at his dad, brow furrowed. “the red team, daddy?”

harry laughed, ruffling atlas’s curls. “that’s right, mate. we’re united fans, us. always cheer for the red team.”

niall clutched his chest in mock horror. “ah, but atlas, don’t you want to support a real team, one with heart?”

atlas just blinked between them, completely lost but amused by their playful bickering. he didn’t quite get why it mattered, but he knew his dad loved the red team, so that’s what he’d cheer for, every time.

“alright, enough of that,” niall said with a wink, rolling the football out in front of him. “time for a proper match. let’s see what you’ve got, little man.”

“think y’can win, attie?” harry asked, grinning wide as he kicked the ball softly toward atlas, who stumbled back a step as the ball nudged his bare foot.

atlas giggled, a bubbling, bright sound that made both men laugh. he glanced down at the ball, brows furrowing like he was trying to solve a puzzle, then he looked up with a determined expression. “i can beat you,” he declared, puffing out his chest with all the seriousness a four-year-old could muster.

“oh, he’s got a bit of fire in him!” niall laughed, straightening up and adjusting the dandelion in the boy’s hair. “good lad. that’s what i like to see.”

harry crouched down to meet atlas’s eye level, his smile softening. “alright, bubba. let’s start with the basics, yeah?” he placed a hand gently on atlas’s shoulder, guiding him toward the ball. “all you’ve got to do is kick it nice and easy, right to uncle niall.”

atlas gave a determined nod, his little face scrunched in concentration. he took a step back, wriggled his toes in the grass, then swung his leg forward with a small grunt. the ball wobbled and rolled just a few feet, but it was enough to get a cheer from both men.

“that’s it!” niall called, clapping his hands together as he jogged forward to stop the ball with the inside of his foot. “perfect! now let’s try somethin’ a bit trickier, yeah?” he gave the ball a gentle nudge back toward atlas. “this time, try keepin’ it goin’. we’ll pass it back and forth.”

harry stayed beside him, his hand resting lightly on his son’s shoulder, offering small tips here and there as the ball rolled between them. atlas’s kicks were unsteady, more little taps than proper strikes, but each time he got the ball to move, his face lit up like he’d just scored a winning goal.

after a few minutes, harry stepped back, letting atlas and niall keep the rhythm on their own. he folded his arms, watching them play, the gentle back-and-forth, the easy flow of laughter. niall, ever patient, exaggerated his reactions to every kick, even the weak ones, stumbling back dramatically as if atlas had knocked him off balance. it sent atlas into fits of giggles, his small frame shaking with the force of it.

“look at that!” niall called, holding his arms wide in mock surrender after a particularly strong kick from atlas. “we’ve got ourselves a future champion here! sign ‘im up for derby now, i say!”

“oi, back off,” harry said, joining them again with a wide grin. he scooped atlas up, making the little boy squeal as he swung him around in a wide arc before setting him back down. “he’s stickin’ with united. right, attie?”

atlas just beamed up at them, not understanding but pleased to be the center of attention. “yeah!” he agreed, without really knowing what he was agreeing to. “the red team!”

“traitor,” niall muttered, though his eyes were bright with laughter.

“nah, he’s just smart,” harry teased, tapping the ball with his bare foot and sending it toward niall, who caught it with an easy stop. they moved seamlessly into a light game, the ball pinging between the three of them, atlas racing after every pass with a fierce determination.

niall leaned down, conspiratorially. “tell ya what, atlas,” he said, his tone lowering as if he were revealing a great secret. “if you can get the ball past your dad just once, i’ll let you wear my derby county jersey.”

harry raised a brow, feigning indignation. “oh, no you don’t. we’re not corrupting him with your bad taste in football, mate.”

but the boy’s eyes widened with the challenge, his cheeks pink and his grin growing mischievous. he turned, the tiniest flicker of determination lighting up his eyes as he faced his dad, who crouched down slightly, hands out in front like a goalie.

“you think you can get past me, bub?” harry said, a playful glint in his eyes.

atlas didn’t answer. instead, he lunged forward, feet slipping in the damp grass as he pushed the ball with both tiny feet, charging straight at his dad. harry bit back a laugh, shuffling to the left and blocking the ball gently with his foot. atlas let out a tiny growl of frustration, spinning around and kicking again, his effort all concentration and floppy limbs.

niall ran amuck from the sidelines, letting out hushed yells to mimic that of a roaring crowd. “go on, atlas! you’ve got ‘em! he’s not that quick, trust me!”

harry shot niall a mock glare but couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up as atlas kept trying, little determined sounds huffing from him with every move. finally, with a wide grin, harry let himself stumble just a little too dramatically, the ball slipping past him as atlas charged forward.

“he’s done it!” niall whooped, jumping in the air and throwing his arms wide as if they’d just won the league. “you got him, attie! you scored!”

he froze for a second, blinking in surprise at the empty space in front of him where his dad had been. then he let out a triumphant yell, arms shooting up in the air. “i did it! i did it!”

harry caught him up in his arms, twirling him around until atlas’s laughter rang out, loud and joyful. “you did, mate,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of his son’s head. “you got me.”

niall jogged over, slinging an arm around harry’s shoulders and holding his other hand out for a high-five, which atlas delivered with a delighted smack. “a promise is a promise,” niall said, grinning wide. “you’ll be gettin’ that derby jersey from me. though, your dad might never forgive me for it.”

“we’ll talk about that later,” harry said, giving niall a playful shove. then he turned back to atlas, setting him down and ruffling his hair again. “but for now, let’s see if you can do it again. think you’ve got another goal in you?”

atlas’s eyes gleamed with excitement as he nodded, puffing out his chest. “i can do it! m’the best player ever!”

“that’s the spirit,” niall said, positioning himself across from them and rolling the ball back to atlas. “ready when you are, champ.”

the afternoon stretched on, niall disappearing inside for a bit before reappearing at the back door, this time not with a ball, but with his battered acoustic guitar slung over one shoulder. the old wood caught the golden light just right, warm honey glinting off the curves. “thought we’d change things up a bit,” he called out, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. he settled onto the cool grass under the shade of the willow tree, cradling the guitar in his lap.

“oh, you’re quittin’ already?” harry teased, giving the football a gentle tap with his toe toward yn, who was standing barefoot a few steps away, her hair a soft tangle in the breeze. atlas stood between them, his little legs bouncing as he tried to mimic the back-and-forth passes between his parents.

“nah,” niall replied, the strings thrumming under his fingers as he absentmindedly strummed a chord, “just thought atlas could use a break from whoopin’ your arse.”

the little one giggled, spinning around in circles as harry pretended to stumble back dramatically. yn gave the ball a light kick back to her husband, the sunlight catching the bright colors of her sundress, and harry caught it with a playful flourish. the three of them formed a small, easy triangle in the yard, the ball moving lazily between them as niall started picking out a familiar melody.

“come here, little rockstar,” niall said, patting his knee and looking over at atlas with a soft smile. “fancy learnin’ a tune?” atlas hesitated, glancing up at his dad, who gave him an encouraging nod.

“go on, attie,” harry urged, scooping the ball into his hands to pause the game. “uncle niall’s got a song for ya.”

atlas’s eyes widened, curiosity shining bright as he trotted over, plopping himself down in niall’s lap with a trusting little wiggle. the guitar was far too big for him, the wooden body swallowing his small frame as niall adjusted the position, balancing the neck across atlas’s knees.

“alright, kiddo,” niall said, his voice low and patient as he wrapped atlas’s small hands around the neck of the guitar, guiding his tiny fingers to press down on the strings. “these are called chords, yeah? they make the music. we’re gonna try somethin’ special.”

yn and harry settled down in the grass just in front of them, harry’s arm slipping around her waist as they leaned back on their elbows, watching the scene unfold with soft smiles. atlas’s little fingers fumbled against the strings, pressing too hard and too light in the same awkward movements, but niall was endlessly patient, his hands covering the boy’s, guiding him with an easy confidence.

“this one’s called a ‘g chord,’” niall explained, carefully placing atlas’s index finger on the right fret, his own fingers moving over atlas’s to show him the way. “we’re gonna play a bit of my song, yeah?”

atlas nodded solemnly, like he understood, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in deep concentration. he strummed the strings with a jerky motion, producing a sound that was more discordant twang than melody. niall chuckled softly, adjusting atlas’s grip with a patient hand. “easy there, mate. it’s all about bein’ gentle, like you were with those potato bugs earlier.”

“like this?” he asked, his face scrunched in determined focus as he tried again, fingers splayed awkwardly over the frets. he plucked at the strings with all the finesse of a four-year-old, the sound shaky and uneven, but undeniably proud.

“that’s it!” niall encouraged, his voice warm and easy. “you’re doin’ perfect, bud. let’s try a bit more, yeah?” he hummed the opening bars of the song under his breath, guiding atlas through each shaky strum, the boy’s small fingers following his lead with a mixture of curiosity and pure, bright determination.

harry’s hand squeezed yn’s gently, his gaze soft as he watched his son try so earnestly. “he’s really into it, isn’t he?” yn murmured, resting her head on harry’s shoulder.

“yeah,” harry replied, his voice low, almost reverent. “reminds me of myself.”

atlas’s fingers slipped off the strings, causing a strange, discordant twang, but niall just laughed and nudged him gently. “no worries, champ. it takes a while to get it right. even i messed up plenty when i was young—ask your dad, he’ll tell ya.”

“he’s tellin’ the truth,” harry interjected with a grin, leaning back on one hand while still holding yn close. “used to be a nightmare. couldn’t get through a song without stoppin’ every few seconds.”

niall pretended to look wounded, pressing a hand dramatically to his heart. “oi, easy, now! this is a teachin’ moment, not a roast!” atlas giggled at the banter, his chubby hands clinging tighter to the guitar.

“let’s try again,”he suggested softly, tapping atlas’s little hand in encouragement. “i’ll help you with the chords, and you just strum when i say, alright?”

the curly haired boy nodded, his eyes wide and focused, and together they moved slowly, atlas’s fingers guided with care over the strings as niall led him through the simplest, gentlest notes of his song. it was more noise than song, a jumbled mix of too-loud and too-soft strums, but there was a rhythm to it, a quiet kind of magic in the way atlas’s brow furrowed with every sound he managed to coax from the instrument.

they played like that for a while, atlas’s small body wrapped in the circle of niall’s arms, the guitar humming under their hands, filling the late afternoon air with its uneven melody. the sun dipped lower, casting long, soft shadows across the grass, the golden light wrapping them all in its warm, fading glow.

when they finally finished, atlas let out a triumphant sigh, dropping his hands from the strings and leaning back into niall’s chest. “i did it,” he said with a breathless sort of wonder.

“that you did, little man,” niall replied, resting his chin lightly on top of atlas’s head, the smile in his voice clear as day. “you played your first song.”

harry clapped softly, his eyes shining with something tender as yn leaned against him, her arm around his waist. “we’ve got ourselves a musician,” he said quietly, his voice caught somewhere between pride and awe.

atlas beamed, his cheeks pink from the effort, his eyes bright with a happiness so pure and unfiltered that it tugged at everyone’s heart. “i wanna play another one,” he declared, turning to look up at niall with wide, eager eyes.

niall laughed, ruffling atlas’s messy curls. “we’ll make a rockstar outta you yet, mate. but maybe we’ll leave the heavy stuff for another day, yeah? for now, you did brilliant.”

they all sat there for a moment longer, the last traces of sunlight casting everything in a honeyed glow, the guitar cradled in atlas’s lap, his small hands still resting on the strings as if he wasn’t quite ready to let go. the world felt quieter somehow, the soft hum of the summer evening settling around them, and for a brief, perfect moment, everything was exactly as it should be.

[airbendertendou]

May I please get a scenario or hc (whatever is easier for you!) of Rindo’s s/o dying their hair to match his hair color? Like they do it while he’s at work and he has no idea until he comes home. Thank you! I hope you have a good day/night!

synopsis : reader changes their hair to match their boyfie <3 characters included : mikey, ran, draken, koko & bonten!rindou

if you have a blank blog [no bio, no user, no header or profile pic, nothing reblogged, etc] do not interact with my content. you will be blocked.

— MANJIRO! ♥︎ you copy his classic, half-up hairstyle ♥︎ doesn't even notice you've changed your hair ♥︎ draken says something snarky abt it like "oh, you're matching, cute." ♥︎ nd mikey goes ??? w his cheeks puffed out from a taiyaki ♥︎ but when he turns to see you ♥︎ it's like the sun shines down onto you carefully ; like angels are singing ; like he's falling in love all over again ♥︎ his head flops onto your shoulder, arms shakily bringing you closer to his hold ♥︎ mumbles something about turning you into a sano /:

— DRAKEN! ♥︎ you go for jus a simple braid, a little piece of hair tugged out ♥︎ he snorts when he sees you, rolling his eyes nd everything ♥︎ but his ears are so so red ♥︎ and hes thought abt how to tell you how pretty you look ; how you need a dragon tattoo now, too ♥︎ shoves you under his arm when you tease him abt his blush, digging his chin into the top of your head annoyingly ♥︎ tugs on that little strand a lot!! jus to get your attention, he swears ♥︎ but has this sort of pride in his eyes when you show your hair off at the toman meeting

— RAN! ♥︎ your hair is styled into two braided pigtails ♥︎ oh hes so smug ♥︎ but also keeps an eye narrowed and focused on anyone mking inappropriate comments ♥︎ we live in a society where pigtails are sexualized ♥︎ twirls your braids the way he twirls his!! ♥︎ will also purposely mess his hair up so you have to fix it for him ): ♥︎ grins at any and all matching hair accessories he see ♥︎ talk him out of getting the giant, obvious bows please

— KOKONOI! ♥︎ can b his bonten hair or his current one! ♥︎ either way, you twist or braid a few pieces of hair to mimic his style ♥︎ hates it at first ♥︎ bc how dare you make his signature style look better than he does ):< ♥︎ ends up liking it bc now he has easy access to kiss your ear nd neck ♥︎ he goes through all the other styles you'd look nice in ; all the colors you could pull off ♥︎ something about your hair matching his... ♥︎ makes you feel more official, somehow

— RINDOU! ♥︎ bonten era ; you get the jellyfish cut! or maybe copy his colors- ♥︎ he knew abt your hair appointment but didnt think it was anything out of the ordinary ♥︎ little did he know.... ♥︎ he just stares ♥︎ like wide-eyed, heartstopping, can barely breathe stares ♥︎ stands to his full height and cups your chin, turning your head gently to get a full view ♥︎ grins w pink cheeks ): kisses the tip of your nose and just continues to stare ♥︎ "all mine......" its whispered before he takes your breath in a kiss ♥︎ He's Obsessed.

—��♥︎—— im so sorry for the lack of content lately ); hope this was okay / the format was alright. if youd like to b tagged / untagged in any tokyo revengers content, let me know! ♥︎

🍓FOREVER TAGS : @star2fishmeg ♥︎

🍓 TOKYOREV TAGLIST : @thatpoindexterpixy @night-shadowblood-writes2 @muichirouswifeandhusband @chrofeisnightmaregf

airbendertendou © do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate my content on any platform. if you see my content under any other name than my own, let me know. i only have this tumblr and an ao3 account under the same name.

[donkey-hyuck]

¡MASTERLIST!

WORD COUNT - 10.146

GENRE - angst haha | fluff | established relationship!au | CEO!au | slowburn?

CHARACTERS/PAIRING - CEO!jaehyun x orphanage caregiver!fem!reader | nct/wayv

INTRODUCTION - getting into a relationship when you were at the lowest point of your life dragged you down to the bottom. but it dragged the ones you loved as well.

WARNINGS - adoption/being an orphan | profanity (like a lot) | insecurities (major imposter syndrome) | being poor/poverty | panic attacks/anxiety/depression | alcohol consumption | (prescribed) pill intake | lots of dialogue | pet names 

TAGLIST - @xxvaelinxx @bbhmystar @actuallynarii @gfksz @jenosbliss

A/N - yikes this one’s a deep one :( the song is track five on the album and track three on the playlist. have fun breaking your hearts :’) (also hi ik it’s been literally centuries but it’s finally here pls don’t kill me (for the rushed end.))

DISCLAIMER - read as you please!! i don’t want to trigger anyone and please lmk if i missed any warnings! i don’t want to be insensitive to anyone's feelings. thank you <3 p.s. this is not proofread and im so sorry for the immense pause.

It wasn’t too far into your relationship when you broke down in front of Jaehyun. You didn’t know why but opening up to him just became natural.

To be fair, you were also a little ways past tipsy. 

In fact, you were a bit deep into the soju bottle you had bought while sitting outside of the convenient store when you first met Jeong Jaehyun, himself. Of course, you didn’t know he was the CEO of Jeong Peach Corporation at the time. 

Jeong Peach Corporation. A fragrance and personal hygiene corporation company whose audience consists of he’s, she’s, and they’s. The brand as a whole has this certain aesthetic that is appealing to those people. But Mr. Jeong Jaehyun himself also had a certain aesthetic that definitely matched the brand name he built from the ground up. His striking looks and simply the way he carries himself has men and women falling on their knees for him. But it was a little too late for them to capture his heart the way you did.

“Hey you! I can see you looking over here. How ‘bout’chu come over here and I’ll show you a piece of my mind,” you slurred and held up your fist. 

He was almost taken aback. Not because he was Jeong Jaehyun and you had the audacity to speak to him like that (again he carries himself in such a humble way that that would never be the option), but he was simply minding his business, walking to his car until he heard the sound of your drunk voice. He was definitely not expecting a drunk voice while he was ready to go home right around midnight. 

He chuckled to himself, too amused at the mere thought of you. But it was midnight and this was the darkest the sky was going to get. It was dangerous for you— for anyone— to be out this late, by themselves, downing a bottle of soju. Well, two and a half bottles of the infamous alcoholic drink. 

“Who are you? And why are you out here so late? Drunk?” He laughed, tucking his phone into his pocket, slyly grabbing a chair and sitting by you. 

“Suffering. It’s tough out here,” you took another shot.

“Hello, suffering. Why are you out drinking soju so late?” He teased. It was easy to get along with you it seemed, the alcohol brought out the extrovert in you.

“Hey! My name is Y/n. Not suffering…. I’m just saying I’m suffering because,” you paused. And he subtly leaned closer to you, wanting to hear the reason why you’re here by yourself, downing the whole damn bottle.

“…. Just because, okay. Now can you please go so I can drown my own sorrows by myself? I don’t need another pity party,” you sobered up for a moment, then went back to pour yourself another shot. 

But before you could take the shot, Jaehyun grabbed it from your loopy hands and took the shot instead.

“Hey! You don’t just take someone else's alcohol! That was the last shot too! Now I have to go buy another bottle!” You pushed yourself up from your seat only to be met with the hard concrete ground. 

“You shouldn’t be out here this late, miss Y/n,” he said, his voice laid with concern. 

“Who are you to tell me that? I don’t even know who you are,” you pouted, still sitting on the ground. He sighed to himself, showcasing his deep dimples, and got up from his chair to help you up. He was going to try and take you home.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” He wrapped his arm around your waist to keep you up.

“Stranger danger! Stranger danger! This man is trying to kidnap me!” You yelled out. Of course, no one would really hear you. Besides Bong Cha— who was a goodie-two-shoes for Jeong Jaehyun and Jeong Jaehyun only— who walked out of the company right after her boss had. She saw the whole thing go down.

“Stop it! I’m trying to help you!” He struggled, since you were kicking and flailing your arms around in order to prevent him from taking you. 

“Help me, my ass. What do you want from me? Taking advantage of a poor, drunk, girl just trying to get in my pants? Get off me fucking psycho. My car is the other way,” you kicked some more. And he gave up, placing you on the ground once more.

“Please, Y/n, you have to work with me here. I just don’t want you staying out late. Who knows? You could actually get kidnapped if I don’t help you.”

“How can I trust you? I don’t even know your name. You may be handsome but it’s always the hot ones that are fucked up. More fucked up than me!” You exclaimed.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. Maybe he should have just left you at the seven-eleven. But Jaehyun just sat on the ground next to you, a good distance away and observed your ridiculous, drunk, figure. 

“I’m Jeong Jaehyun,” he started, “now can you please cooperate with me? I’m trying to help you, here.”

You looked up and squinted your puffy eyes at him. “In your damn dreams, you’re Jeong Jaehyun. Like I’d believe that. I may be drunk but I’m not fucken delusional.” Oh, but you were delusional. 

You slowly raised from your seat on the ground and walked your way back to your car, which wasn’t actually where you parked it. The man followed you— sorta like a creep— just to make sure you were safe. But on the way to your car (which was not the right way at all), you bumped into Kim Bong Cha herself. 

She hadn’t seen her boss behind you because it was a little too dark but she lashed out at you anyway, “Hey! Watch where you’re going dumb bitch.” You were about to pounce on her until he caught you before you had the chance. 

“Let me go! Let me at her!” 

The girl was shocked to still see her boss shielding her from you. And she felt embarrassed to let him hear the rude words come out of her mouth. Karma’s a bitch.

“I’m sorry, Bong Cha. Please, go home. And don’t discuss this to anyone. I’m just trying to help her,” he explained to his secretary. Ah, so she was his secretary. That makes a lot of fucking sense.

Quietly, she speed-walked to her car leaving the two of you alone again. 

“Why didn’t you let me at her? She was being a rude asshole.”

“Y/n. She’s my secretary. And she’s always been like that. But don’t worry about her, okay. Please just let me help you,” he begged. It was too late for him to just leave you on the road. 

You sighed, the dizziness was now getting to you. 

“Fine. I need to get to my car, though,” you pushed him off of you.

“I don’t think you’re capable of driving right now,” he retorted.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?” 

And that was how you ended up sitting in the passenger seat of Jaehyun’s luxury car (the one he drove that day was his Aston Martin DB11.) 

That was how you first met Jeong Jaehyun.

So much for first impressions. 

—

When you woke up the next morning (with a massive headache), you found the CEO asleep on your couch. All in your shitty apartment. And when last night's events finally hit, you felt like the biggest asshole on planet Earth. 

Jeong Jaehyun was sleeping on your couch. In your shitty apartment that could definitely not even compare to his lavish lifestyle. You felt embarrassed all over again. God, what the fuck were you thinking?

You tried to clean up a bit before you woke him up but nothing would fix the slightly stained walls and the old furniture he was definitely a foe to. 

After you cleaned up the place, he still seemed to be fast asleep, so you decided to cook up some type of breakfast for him. The rusty refrigerator only consisted of greens (that were about to go bad), a carton of eggs, and a gallon of water. Sunny side eggs, it is. 

This was for sure nothing he was used to. He was a CEO after all. The CEO of one of the most popular global brands, might you add. Which made the whole situation so much more humiliating.

Whilst you were cooking, you looked over your shoulder because of the squeaking of the couch Jaehyun fell asleep on. You wanted to fall off the face of the Earth. 

Quickly you set the eggs into a plate and placed them next to his water you had already set on the table in front of him. He had only been awake for five seconds and he was met with the hospitality of you. 

“Mr. Jeong Jaehyun,” you started, “or— no, yeah. Mr. Jeong Jaehyun, sir, I’m so incredibly sorry for the inconvenience I left last night. You did not have to take me home. In fact you didn’t have to stay the night, which was kinda stupid on your part, not that I would ever call you stupid, even though I just did but-” he cut you off. You definitely rambled a bit too much. 

“It’s okay, Y/n,” he slightly laughed, picking up the chopsticks from the plate and eating the egg. 

You sat in front of the table, too defeated to say anything. Too defeated to even look at him— even in the few minutes he had been awake, he was more prestigious than you’ll ever be. You didn’t care about who he was. You really did, of course, but after the whole mess, you didn’t even want to be in his presence anymore. 

“Why are you so quiet, angel?” The pet name made you feel even worse. Why was he being so nice?

You gulped and looked at him. 

“I’m just- I’m so sorry about last night. I was just-”

“Suffering?” He cut you off once more.

The fact that he answered you and finished your sentence made you want to crawl up in a ball and never come out. Last night definitely placed number one in your list of horrible nights. 

“Uhm… yeah, that. But-”

“Why don’t you eat, love?” This was the third time he cut you off and the second time he referred to you as an endearing person. He acted as if he knew you for his entire life. 

“I’m uh- it- it’s okay. I’m not really that hungry so,” you trailed off, looking down at your hands while you played with your fingers. Just then, he shoved his chopsticks in your face. A piece of egg sat on it. He motioned for you to eat. 

You quickly turned your head and shook it, pushing his hand back, “No!” You cleared your throat, “it’s really alright, Mr. Jeong.” You really don’t know why you called him that but it just came out. It was probably the nervousness.

“Jaehyun.”

“Jaehyun… It’s really okay. I mean this is also the least I could do- uhm- especially after last night. Also, my house is a bit of a mess, I'm sorry about that.”

Jaehyun noticed the neighborhood and apartment complex you lived in. Of course, Jaehyun was a nice person so he wasn’t going to comment on it but it was obvious he noticed the living situation you were in. But none of it mattered to him. He just wanted to make sure you got home safely. 

“Don’t apologize about that, Y/n. Now eat.”

“I have more eggs in the fridge. I can make my own, don’t worry about it,” you felt your face flush with heat. He caved in and shoved the piece of egg into his mouth, still worried about you.

It was awkward for a long time until he finished his food. You took his plate and cup and put it in the sink. 

“I’m sorry. Do you want to wash up? Or maybe-” he laughed.

He had a habit of cutting you off, and you’ve only met this man all of eight hours. Most of those hours you were out cold.

“Stop apologizing, love,” he smiled at you, dimples on full display.

“I’m sorry-” you cut yourself off this time. He laughed again. You were cute. 

“I actually need to go to the bathroom. Could you show me where that is?” He asked. You nodded and pointed him down the hall to the left. He quickly thanked you and made his way.

Right when the bathroom door closed, you ran into your bedroom and plopped, face first, into the sheets. How degrading that was. 

When Jaehyun was done using the bathroom he got out and called your name which made you scurry out of your room to meet him from behind. You forcefully smiled and waited for what he was going to say.

“Your car is still at the convenience store.” Your fake smile dropped as you scrunched your nose, remembering how he drove you home. 

“It’s alright. I’ll walk there later. It’s no problem.”

“But-” this time you were the one to cut him off.

“You’ve already done so much for me. I owe you my life,” you joked.

He playfully scoffed and walked toward you, now directly in front of you,“Just let me drop you off. It’s a far walk.” 

“I can Uber or take the bus. Really, everything is okay. I don’t need you to help me anymore. You helped me more than I needed last night and I owe you everything I have.” You were so stubborn. He wouldn’t give up, though.

And there you sat in the same passenger seat as last night. 

“I’m going to wash up at my house first. Is that alright?” He looked over to you while at a red light. You had been looking out the window before he said that.

“Of course. Take all the time you need. I’m in no rush.”

—

You underestimated the home Jaehyun lived in. It was pure luxury. Fenced-in house with a security system (that, alone, probably costs more than your apartment), green upkept grass, and a beautiful white exterior and interior that screamed majestic, mature, and regal. It made your home feel like a shit-show. It made you feel completely horrible about yourself. 

“Please, come inside,” he opened the passenger side door for you.

Shakily, you unbuckle the seatbelt and exited his car. And he just sweetly smiled at you the entire time. It made you want to cry.

He led you to the front door with his hand hovering the small of your back. You could feel the heat of his hand through your shirt. You took off your shoes and followed him inside.

It was very bright and very aesthetically decorated. With plants (which you weren’t sure were fake or not), paintings that you had never seen before, and knick knacks that seemed too expensive for you to even touch. But he led you past everything in his house and went straight into his bedroom. He had a whole couch and side chairs as well as a fireplace. It was just as grand as the rest of his home. 

“Uhm, you can sit on the bed if you’d like. Or the couch, I don’t know. But I'll be done shortly. Please, make yourself comfortable,” he held your arm, informing you. But you were too stunned to speak, so you nodded your head instead. 

You sat on the couch, it was a little weird for you to sit on his bed when you barely knew anything about him (and he barely knew anything about you). Plus, you were too busy gawking at his house. And it made you feel self conscious again. It made you feel small; like you didn’t belong. Which you didn’t. So you don’t know why Jaehyun seemed so comfortable with you. 

He came out of his bathroom— that was attached to his bedroom— buttoning up his shirt with damp hair. He took as quick of a shower as he could, to not keep you waiting. And through the reflection of the mirror, he could see you with your head facing down again, probably playing with your hands. 

“Y/n, love,” he called out. You whipped your head around to his voice, not expecting that to escape his lips.

“Can you please help me button this?” You don’t understand why he called out to you as if you were his lover. Or at least someone he was comfortable with. Couldn’t he see that you were a bit lost? 

You sighed to yourself and wiped your palms against your pants, hesitantly walking up to him. 

Carefully, you buttoned up the rest of his shirt and looked up at him. He was already staring at you with all the love and adoration in his eyes. Of course, you didn’t realize this at the time. Jaehyun himself didn’t even realize it.

He then handed you his tie, “I hope you can tie a tie?”

You’ve tied many ties in your time of working at the orphanage. 

—

Warm Hearts Orphanage held a prolonged special place in your heart. You’d been going to the orphanage as far back as you could remember. The orphanage held children from infants to teens. And everyone there was like family. Even though your little family didn’t have much, it always warmed your hearts to give back to children who were less fortunate than you were. And though you grew up poverty stricken, these children suffered more than you did and all you wanted was to help them. 

You’ve seen children come and go, and the thoughts that always come to you is that they lived a happy life. Everyone in the orphanage deserved it. Even the sourest of apples, because all they wanted was to be loved by a family.

That being said, the orphanage always planned surprise parties for those children who had been adopted. It was a nice tradition, and you’ve helped many children get ready to graduate from Warm Hearts into a family that will love them.

—

“I can.”

As you were doing up his tie he slowly raised a hand to pat down your hair. The action made you pause your movements. Then, you realized everything that was going on was completely wrong and inappropriate, so you quickly finished doing his tie and took a step back. Your heart fell to your ass.

“What’s wrong, lovely?” You still felt like you were going to cry. 

“I- Nothing. Don’t worry about me,” you fakely smiled again. But, again, it was as if he knew you your entire life because he wiped the pad of his thumb against your lips, making you genuinely frown.

“How can I not worry when you seem squeamish? And these fake smiles plastered on your face. What’s wrong?” He stopped swiping your bottom lip and cupped your face with the entirety of his right hand; thumb rubbing your cheek instead.

You still forced a smile and wrapped your hand around his wrist, bringing his hand away from your face. You felt undeserving of everything he was doing to you. And you wanted to hide your emotions as much as you could.

“I’m okay. You can stop worrying about me. I’m fully capable of taking care of myself,” you released your hold on his wrist and held yours, crossed in front of your body. 

This time, with his left hand, he smoothed down your hair and let his hand rest on your face.

“Okay, pretty. If you say so. Now, let’s go get your car, yeah?” You bit your lip and nodded and he led you out of his house with his hands on the small of your back, just like he did when he was bringing you inside.

The seven-eleven you were drinking at just so happened to be located right next to Jeong Peach Corporation. Your car was still parked in the parking lot. And it was still nothing to ever compare to the CEO who was sitting beside you.

You both got out of the car, and he was standing in front of you. 

“Thank you and I apologize for last night. But if it weren’t for you, I’d probably be passed out on the sidewalk,” you awkwardly laughed. 

“No worries, love. And thank you for your hospitality. I’m happy you’re doing alright,” he responded.

You pursed your lips and pivot your heels to the direction of your car.

“I hope to see you again, Y/n.” Yeah right.

You pivot your heels back to the direction of Jaehyun. The embarrassment of last night and this morning still lingered in your body. There was no way you would see him again. You were from two completely different worlds. And there was no way you were coming back to this seven-eleven.

“I hope so too,” you said bitterly before rushing to your car. 

“Y/n!” He said before you could finish shutting your door. You groaned to yourself, stepping back out of your car and facing him again. You wanted to save yourself from the self-bashing already.

“Would you like to… maybe… grab something to eat later?” But damn, he was too nice to turn down. You wanted to say yes so badly, but another part of you wanted to decline. You just didn’t belong in his world. 

He was born to an upper class family, you knew that. Everyone knew that. So what would happen if you said yes? You had nothing to offer.

But it didn’t hurt trying, right?

You took in a huge gulp, “…. I would like that.”

“I’m sorry, what?!” exclaimed Danbi while the two of you were washing dishes.

The kids had just eaten and they were now free to do whatever they pleased, whether that was draw, sleep, or take a walk during the good weather. 

“Keep it down!” You shushed her.

“I can't! THE Jeong Jaehyun of THE Jeong Peach Corporation asked you out on a date tonight?!” She squealed in happiness for you, making the bubbles fly everywhere. 

You told her everything that had just happened within the past twenty-four hours. And she was beyond stoked for you. This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and she knew you deserved it the most. You’d been through hell and back and you’re about to go right back. She knew everything about your situation, you’d both been volunteering here for years so it was only natural to open up to one another.  

“No one said anything about a date…. Just a, uh, hangout. Yeah…. a hangout.”

“Y/n, he just met you and he’s head over heels for you already! I’m so excited for you!”

You were excited too. Way beyond excited.

—

Jaehyun said he would pick you up around nine p.m. You had just gotten back from grocery shopping and you now had a little over an hour to shower and get ready. You didn’t even know where he was taking you. 

But as you were applying your makeup and looking in your bathroom mirror, everything started shutting down on you. And you were surrounded with nothing but your own, suffocating, thoughts. You were a fraud. But Jaehyun was coming to pick you up soon, so now was not the time to think about it; or at least try not to. Fake it ‘till you make it.

When the knocking on your door signified Jaehyun's arrival, you quickly sprayed some perfume and opened up the door for him.

You were wearing a simple, spaghetti strap black dress with a slit on the side leg and a dark gray blazer with a matching bag. He looked the same as he did when you saw him this morning, except his blazer was now off of his body and he took off his tie which left him with his white button up (which he unbuttoned the first few to give him more of a casual look).

“Are you ready?”

☹ ☹ ☹

I told you I was down bad

You hate to see me like that

Two whole years had gone by and it was almost your third anniversary. Almost, as in, it was six months away. But so much can happen in a mere six months that seem to pass by so quickly. 

You were in your apartment, the same crappy apartment you lived in two years ago, crying in your sheets. Your damn thoughts were getting to the best of you again. 

And when you didn’t respond to Jaehyun’s phone calls, it was an understatement to say he was worried about you. So he drove to your apartment immediately. 

He frantically knocked on your door and almost broke it down until you came to open it, eyes still red from your tears and breath still uncontrollable. Your lover welcomed himself inside and shut the door, holding you so tight yet soft in his embrace in the doorway. He was trying to comfort you with his lips resting on your forehead and his hands carefully cradling your body.

“It’s alright, love. I’m here. Don’t cry. Please. I need you,” he repeated into your hair, rubbing your back and swaying you both side to side. But the action made you cry even more. You didn’t deserve the love he gave to you. Your head rested on his firm chest as you tried to calm down the pain.

“Angel, where are your meds? Are they in your room?” 

You nodded as best as you could as he carefully led you inside and into your bedroom. Jaehyun sat you down on your bed before grabbing a glass of water for you to take your pills. You hated relying on him so much. You hadn’t changed. But what you don’t know is that Jaehyun loved you even more than he did two years ago. He loved you because you weren’t afraid to show him such a vulnerable part of the human being you had become. Or so he thought.

You did what you had to do and he carefully pulled you into bed with him. Your head rested in the crook of his neck as he felt your hiccuping breath die down into slumber. He rubbed your back some more, hoping that it would lull you to sleep faster. 

You don’t know what you’d do if he wasn’t here. Jaehyun was your everything, as were you to him.

—

When you woke up the following morning, you were still in Jaehyun’s embrace. Slowly, you turned around to check the time and the clock read 5:43

a.m. That was why it was still dark outside. 

You turned back around to face Jaehyun and you sadly smiled at him. He worked so hard 24/7 and the purple bags under his eyes proved that. You just wished there was something you could do to help him, just like the various ways he had helped you. Jaehyun has always been there to help. From the day you two met, to this moment, Jaehyun was always your number one. 

You shifted around in his arms as he slightly groaned because of the sudden movement. 

“I’m sorry, love. Keep sleeping,” you whispered, kissing his closed eyes. He came to your house in his work clothes, though, so you were sure he was a bit uncomfortable. You walked to your wardrobe and found some folded up pajama pants he left over the other night as well as one of his gray hoodies he left ‘not on purpose.’ You gathered his clothes and walked to the bed to wake him up.

“Wake up. If you’re gonna keep sleeping, at least change, love. You’re probably all stuffy in your button up and dress pants,” you lightly shook him awake. He groaned some more before stretching his limbs and opening his eyes. You were the best thing he could ever wake up to.

Jaehyun playfully pulled the blanket over his head and managed to wrap his arms around your waist as you were sitting down beside him. You laughed at his antics and tried to free his grip on you. It failed; and you ended up wrapped under your sheets with him, his comfortable clothes still in your hands.

“What if I don’t want to change,” he challenged.

“You don’t have to,” you teased. “But it’s not going to be my fault when you complain about being uncomfortable.” 

His tight hold on you faltered for a moment before he fully released you and took off your blanket from his (and your) bodies. He released a puff and pouted his plump morning lips. The man sighed and got out of bed, taking the clothes you had in your hands and just stripping from his work clothes right then and there. 

“Aren’t you gonna change in the bathroom?” You asked, laying back down in bed. So much for getting up.

“Eyy, you know I don’t do that. I’m gonna come back into bed anyway,” he said before climbing in after you and pulling the grey sheet back onto him. As he slid into your bed, you wrapped your arms around his head as he rested himself to be held by you. Jaehyun loved being babied, especially in the early hours of the morning. It was one of the many charismatic features about him.

—

When you woke up the second time that morning, it was only nine o’clock. But Jaehyun seemed to be awake now, cooking breakfast that was sizzling from the kitchen.

Quietly, you sat on one of the stools and stared at him. He was the best thing that ever came into your life.

But why did he openly put himself in it?

You always wondered why Jaehyun stayed. It always turned into panic attacks and crying fits, but you couldn’t help it. He was a part of a completely different social status and you stood out like a sore thumb when you were next to him. It wasn’t like you were ashamed to be his girlfriend; you just thought he was ashamed to have you as his girlfriend.

He should.

There goes those thoughts again.

Unknowingly, you choked a sob which made him turn around. When he saw you, he smiled with pure adoration beaming in his eyes. God, why did he make this so hard?

He shut off the stove and walked toward you, forgetting about the breakfast he was making, it was almost done, anyway. Jaehyun wiped his hands with a towel and walked to you, cupping your face with his right hand, wiping the tear that seemed to fall from your eye.

“Why are you crying, love?” He still held the same, sweet, smile.

“…. I love you.”

He raised you from your seat and just hugged you, lips resting on the crown of your head, swaying you back and forth on the creaky floor.

“I love you more.”

“I’m sorry I’m like this,” you confessed against his chest.

But he immediately raised you from your position, to look at his, now serious, expression.

“Never apologize for something you can’t control. You say sorry all the time, peach. I love that you feel the need to say it, but you really don’t need to say it all the time. Especially in front of me. You know how much I love you, right? For being who you are?” He wiped the baby hairs away from your face. 

“You know how much I don’t care how messed up, or whatever you call it, you are, right?”

“…… Of course.”

“Then you should stop being such an amazing person. I don’t deserve you. But here I am,” he laughed, tugging you into his frame once more.

However, you still felt the need to give him the world. You still felt as though you owed him your life, he’d been your boyfriend for almost three years.

And yet you still thought that it was you who didn’t deserve him.

“Now stop crying. You know I don’t like it when you cry. Especially if it’s your damn thoughts that are eating at you.”

You love him so much.

☹ ☹ ☹

I don’t know how you look past

My stupid fucking setbacks

You said it before and you’ll say it again. You’ll say it a million more times; Jaehyun deserved more.

Sometimes, you’ll look in the crooked mirror placed in your bathroom and just think to yourself. Think about all the negatives rather than thinking about the positives. And although there are times you do think about the positives, they all end up with a wretched outcome. And then it’s negative thoughts all over again.

It’s the same routine and you’re growing sick of it. You’ve been sick of it ever since you could remember and you despise people who seem to have it easy. It just seemed as though there was no luck for you. The only luck the universe brought to you was Jaehyun. There are times, though, where you wished you never met him. He was a goddamn CEO and you were a low-class citizen. None of it just made sense.

But you loved him. It just hurts to deal with your true emotions and stow them away from your lover; because you never wanted him to watch what you were going through. Even the thought of it made you want to vomit.

Trauma just came natural to you, apparently. And you absolutely hated it. You just wished you were different, then maybe you wouldn’t feel so guilty about dating Jaehyun. Then he would truly be proud of who you are.

He was already proud of you, though. And he’s told you this a billion times. Your brain just makes you believe that he’s saying it out of pity. He’s only saying it because you’re his girlfriend. 

And the cycle continues.

—

You were spending the next couple of days at Jaehyun’s house. It was obvious he didn’t like your lifestyle and wished for you to live with him. You could never bring yourself to do it though; to always rely on him for everything that you do. You were fully aware of what you could and could not do, and you didn’t need him to help you.

Which led you to silently cry away your sorrows in his bathroom. You were taking a bath, in hopes to dial down the overwhelming emotions that engulfed you. Yet here you were, with a flushed face and puffy eyes— the aftermath of a breakdown. 

It seemed as though ever since you got into a relationship with Jaehyun, your anxiety only intensified. And that resulted in the thoughts that had been burdening your mind since the day you two met. 

Fortunately, he wasn’t home to face the pointless shenanigans that go through your head. So you had enough time to pull yourself together, take your meds, and try to meditate on the balcony that was attached to his bedroom. 

The summer nights were cool enough for you to relax your mind before Jaehyun made his way home. You were working at the orphanage the whole day and you managed to pull through the entire day without a single tear, which probably led to the bathroom-breakdown fiasco. 

The crickets had been chirping and the wind was starting to blow. That was when you heard the bedroom door open. And when Jaehyun saw the slight movement of the balcony curtains, he knew you were outside doing whatever you do best. 

Quietly, the man sighed to himself, placed his work on the side desk and undid his tie. He was finally home. He was finally with you. 

Jaehyun opened the sliding door larger than what it was and joined you in sitting on the floor with his legs crossed. At first he let out a long breath and looked out toward the yard which his bedroom was facing. Then, he got tired and shifted toward you. 

That happened all in thirty seconds.

Your eyes were still closed as you breathed in. Jaehyun lovingly smiled at you and kissed the side of your head.

“I missed you today, angel,” he broke the silence. 

You opened your eyes and shifted your body to face him.

“You say that every day,” you chuckled and played with his fingers. A habit of yours that Jaehyun absolutely adored.

“And it’s always true. I can't wait for the day I get to see you every time I come home.” You felt more guilty that he had the need to say that. And you knew he meant nothing harmful, he was just a caring person and didn’t want you living the life you had. You were better off living with him.

But you joked, “You will. For the next three days. And then I’m off home.”

He groaned and layed back on the cold floor. “Don’t remind me. I want to cherish the time we have now.”

You laughed once more. He was acting as if he didn’t come to see you practically every day. Sometimes, he’ll even leave his job just to come see you at the orphanage. 

“Eyy, quit saying that. I’m still here. You come by all the time. Sometimes twice a day. You’ll get sick of me soon, I can guarantee. I don’t know how you put up with me all these years.”

Although you were (partially) joking, Jaehyun sat right up from his prior position and looked at you with his pout and furrowed brows. 

“What do you mean, peach? I could and would never get sick of seeing you. Don’t say that.” You were shocked to see him react that way.

You slightly snickered at him and said, “I was joking, love. I’m sorry,” you leaned your head closer to his and placed a little kiss on his lips, to make him sort of forgive you for saying that. 

“You better be. I don’t know what I’d do without you, peach,” he kissed back. And pecked your lips repeatedly, several times. 

The actions made you laugh out loud and slightly push him away. Jaehyun loved being the reason why there was the brightest smile on your face. So he quietly smiled as your eyes crinkled because of him.

He suggested that you two wash up. However, you already told him you bathed before he came home. And like a child, he groaned and went into the bathroom himself. But he made you promise to wait for him tomorrow. You agreed, because he was your little baby. 

As he was in the shower, you cuddled your way into his bed sheets and blanket. The lights were now dimmed and all you were doing was waiting for him to get out of the shower. Hopefully he would be able to beat the slumber that easily pulled you in. 

The warmness of the blanket, though, soothed you to sleep and Jaehyun was unable to defeat the unfortunate slumber that casted over you. It was a shame since he wanted to talk to you; ask about your day and what you did. He’d grown used to the look of your puffy eyes, and he knew you’d been crying. He knew you were having a moment the minute he stepped onto the patio. Because the only time you would sit out there was if something was bothering you.

Being the amazing person he was, left you alone, and didn’t ask about what you clearly didn’t want to talk about. He believed that you would open up to him when you were ready. You’ve already opened up to him so much, but nothing would stop him from worrying about you. 

Once he got out of the shower and towel-dried his hair, he placed the wet towel in the basket and climbed into bed next to you, immediately clinging to your fatigued figure. God, he would give you the entire world. Jaehyun turned around and shut off the lamp on his side of the bed (yours was already turned off) and hugged you against him, his breath soon evening out to match yours. 

And fast asleep he was.

—

The following morning, Jaehyun was awakened with your fingers threaded in his hair and his face squished against your chest. He managed to stretch some parts of his limbs whilst still, practically, laying on top of you. 

“Good morning, angel,” he said in his morning voice, “I’m not going into work today.”

As a CEO, you’d expect him to take care of himself (with Jaehyun being his own boss and all) but you didn’t expect him to say he wasn’t going in. Not that you minded, you’d much rather spend the day with him but Jaehyun was a hard-working man, and he rarely took days off. 

“I’m not going in for the next three days either. It’s been a while since I took a day or two off.”

“Yeah, but you’re taking four days off, including today. Are you sure you want to do that?”

He was taken aback for a moment. Did you not want to spend time with him anymore?

“There’s nothing wrong with me taking four days off. You appreciate it, no?” He said in the littlest voice which instantly made you regret what you said.

“No, no, no. Oh, I’m sorry my love, I didn’t mean to make you upset. It’s just that you’re so busy with work and it’s just me so you don’t have to-” you rambled.

“And that’s where I’m gonna stop you. You know how much you mean to me, so of course I’m gonna take these days off to spend as much time with you as I can. The company's getting a little busier with a new launch around the corner but I’m sure they’ll be able to survive without me for a few days,” he retaliated.

You sighed, still feeling like an asshole for wording the sentence the way you did. God, could you do anything to make him happy? It felt as though everything you said and everything you did could never satisfy him. Of course, those were just your thoughts.

Jaehyun was happy that you cared about his job, but what he wanted you to realize the most is how much he wanted to be with you. Whatever it was, spending time with you is the best remedy he could ever ask for. 

Just why is he never sick of you and your words? You’re sure he would be with how rude you, unintentionally, were to him. 

☹ ☹ ☹

When you opened up the door

You let me in when you should have your guard up

Thinking back to the time you finally let Jaehyun crawl through your walls— when he’d let down his walls way before you— the constant feeling of regret and pain constantly filled you. Whether or not the glass was half-full or half-empty, it was always just half. There was never a certain hundred percent yet Jaehyun took his time in letting you trust him as Jeong Yoon Oh. 

Thinking back to the time you first met Jaehyun himself, he somehow couldn’t process the red-flag you were oh-so not afraid to show while you were inebriated. He thought you were cute, and the words you were spilling from your mouth, conscious or not, made him feel sort of protective over you. And he didn’t even know you.

It was about ten a.m. when the two of you got out of bed. Ever since the conversation earlier, the air has just been tense. At least for you. You’re sure Jaehyun probably hadn’t felt anything but your brain was constantly playing tricks on you, and this could be one of them.

Your lover is in the bathroom now, as you’re sitting on the bed staring into space with your thoughts locked into your brain. You should apologize. Of course, you want him to stay home with you, but he plays an important role in the economy and in his industry that you can’t help but feel bad for keeping him away from what he loves doing most.

Resting against the headboard, you turn your head toward the bathroom door that was being opened. He walks through and sits back in his spot next to you, although his body is fully facing yours.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just… I don’t want to keep you here if you have a lot to prepare for your launch,” you sighed and rubbed your eyes.

He laughed, but the feeling of hurt lingered a bit in his eyes as he held the utmost respect to you. “You don’t have to apologize, my love. It’s completely okay. And if they need help, they have my number and it’ll all get fixed with a simple phone call, alright?” He used his right hand to cup your face, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the surface of your cheeks. 

You bit your lip in hesitation but you stopped when Jaehyun leaned down and kissed away the bad habit he always noticed you had. 

“Let’s make breakfast, yeah?” He whispered against your lips, giving you the biggest puppy eyes ever. You laughed and kissed him one more time before going into the bathroom to get ready for whatever the day was going to bring. 

—

Breakfast was absolutely lovely. As it always is whenever you’re with Jaehyun. But for some reason, this morning’s just hit so different.

Today, though, you planned on going to the orphanage just as a surprise visit. Truly, it was your home. Your second home (if you considered Jaehyun.) 

“Well, I was planning on getting goodie bags for the kids but… I don’t think I’m gonna. We can just spend the day there,” you were telling him all the things you wanted to do today and the things you wanted to do for the kids there but you were having trouble deciding what to actually do.

“Nah, we can go to the grocery and buy them goodies,” he abruptly said as if it was no problem. Realistically there was no problem. Except you. 

“But-”

“No buts. I haven’t seen them in a while, so just consider it a gift from me. Now, let’s finish our food and get some snacks for the kiddos,” he put his plate in the sink as you sighed in adoration (and maybe a little in guilt.)

Grocery shopping with Jaehyun was like grocery shopping with a child. And it was good, because he picked out snacks he thought the children would like, as well as treat bags to put them in. He was a child at heart although he portrayed a stoic and successful CEO.

The two of you sat in his car for an hour in the Warm Hearts Orphanage parking lot packing juices and snacks and candy into the bags before finally walking through the front door. 

One of the staff members had seen you and happily greeted the two of you as you walked into the main entrance to the room the kids spent the most. Upon your arrival, all of the children shouted in happiness, greeting you with hugs and questions of the bags that were placed in a cardboard box that Jaehyun was holding.

Giving them out and spending time with them truly warmed your heart as they played the whole day long with Jaehyun. 

He was so fond of children and your entire being melts with the sight of him playing with them and catching them up on his launch. 

Something about it was heartwarming yet bittersweet. 

You don’t know how long you could last anymore.

☹ ☹ ☹

What a painful back and forth, oh

Today was just not a good day. For you and for Jaehyun. He called you in the morning and said he was going to visit you at your apartment when he was done in the office. 

Only problem was, it was twelve in the morning when he walked through the door with the extra key you gave him. Your apartment was quiet, excluding the yelling from the thin walls of whichever neighbor. 

For the first time since he’s met you, this was the first time he’d actually noticed every little detail about your apartment. From the stained walls to the crack in your window. He felt like he wanted to cry. Jaehyun didn’t want you living like this anymore, that was the truth. And he knew you worked two jobs before committing to the orphanage. He also knew you were never able to pursue college. No amount of scholarships you were given could afford the ungodly university tuition.

And just as he was about to suck up the water forming in his eyes, you walked out of your room, fully awake. You stopped and called out his name. But the ringing in his ears only got louder. And soon he broke down into tears.

You were completely shocked. It was midnight and you didn’t think he would come over because it was so late. But now he’s here, and you don’t know how long he has been standing there, breaking down right in front of you.

“Hey, hey, hey. What’s wrong, angel?” you held him in your grasp as his tears kept coming down.

“Why are you crying? Please tell me, my love,” you pleaded, voice cracking. In the three years you’d known Jaehyun, he was never one to cry. Not one tear. He wouldn’t ever tear up either. So seeing him like this, vulnerable, was both shocking as it is confusing. 

“I just…” he sobbed, “I just love you so much. Please don’t ever leave me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” To you, he wasn’t making much sense but he was still valid to have these thoughts. Some people have their off days and you guessed this was his.

“Of course not, Yoon Oh.” He cried harder, somehow pulling you even closer than before, his head still hiding in the shadows of your neck.

Moments passed by before he finally lifted his head up. He looked so ethereal though he was covered in tears and the image in front of you made you want to cry yourself. 

“You’re okay. I’m right here,” you cupped his face with both of your hands, wiping away the tears on his cheek with your thumbs. He does the same to you, although you’re not crying.

“I want you with me forever,” he whispered, searching through your eyes as if he doesn’t know you like the back of his hand.

“I’ll be here.”

You don’t know if you’re lying to him with the response. But only time can tell whether the guilt forever residing in your heart gets the best of you and inevitably, to the best of him. But he’ll get over it right? He’s Jeong Jaehyun after all.

—

You’re now laying side by side on your bed. He is being cradled in your arms as he continues to calm down in the drowsiness of the late hours of the night.

“I’m sorry about breaking down earlier. I just… I don’t know, I just felt super overwhelmed all of a sudden I guess,” he lifted his head up to look at your moonlit face.

You shook your head and stroked his hair. “Don’t apologize. You deal with me all the time,” you dryly chuckled.

“Because I know what you go through… But thank you,” he rubbed your back.

“For what?”

“For being there for me when I need you most. I really appreciate it…” he trailed off for a moment, “I really appreciate you.”

“Please…” he continued, “Come live with me.” 

You don’t know if it was sympathy, pity, pure love, or all of the above. But Jaehyun was very much aware that he could treat you like a queen. Which he already does, and that makes you all the more hesitant.

“You know that-” you’re cut off.

“I know. I know you refuse to but please. You’re my entire world, Y/n. I can’t even explain to you in words how much you and your entire existence means to me,” he’s desperate now. So desperate to finally have all of you. So, so desperate to watch you flourish into the beautiful bouquet he knows you are.

You sigh and continue to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders. “I’ll think about it.”

But the both of you knew the true meaning behind those words. Yet neither of you can say a word.

☹ ☹ ☹

It’s hard to ignore all of my problems

You couldn’t even count all of the imperfections and impurities that you had hiding within yourself. So much so, that you seem to project those imperfections onto the people around you. To the people that you love.

And sure, they might not notice them— ignore them, in fact— but they are clearly written out right in front of you and they don’t ever seem to go away. Which is probably why they say ‘you are your greatest enemy.’ It was true.

Yet of course, these thoughts had to swarm your mind at the grocery store. Grocery shopping, for crying out loud. With Jaehyun and with bunches of people who are too nosey to not look at you and not whisper to themselves as to why you are crying. 

With the shopping cart full, Jaehyun pulls it over to the side so as to not create traffic, and pulls you closer to him by your arms. 

He pushes the hair out of your face and leans down to see you. All of you.

“What’s wrong, my love?” He shushes you and wipes the tears off your cheeks.

This was absolutely terrible. Even the most domestic and everyday tasks were a hassle. And you felt like you were burdening Jaehyun in the busy market that only the wealthiest people had shopped at (since you were staying over Jaehyun’s again for a few days.) 

“Nothing, it’s- I’m okay,” you sucked in a breath and wiped your tears before looking up at him to meet his worried gaze.

“Are you sure?” He squinted his eyes.

You took in another breath before nodding.

“One hundred percent sure?” He patted your flyaway hairs down. You nodded again.

“I need words, angel. To make sure you’re okay. Really okay.”

“I’m okay, I promise,” you try to give him your best smile.

He only responds with the softest kiss to your forehead. 

“I need you to be with me,” he whispered against your skin.

“I am. One thousand percent. I’m okay,” you whispered back, now getting self conscious of the scene of you and Jaehyun canoodling in a grocery store on a Wednesday at eleven a.m.

He believed you, however the rest of the shopping trip went by slowly, awkwardly, and quietly.

You wished you could change the way you think. 

☹ ☹ ☹

Cause I'm no good (Ooh), you could do better (Ooh)

You should walk out, it's now or never

Ninety-nine percent of couples argue. Those statistics are completely true. No matter how often or how little, couples everywhere have their fair share of fights.

You and Jaehyun are one of those couples that rarely fight. Today, however, had not been very good to the both of you. Stress, anxiety, and more stress were eating at the both of you and now it landed you here. Just great.

“I don’t need you constantly taking care of me! I’m perfectly fine on my own!” You shouted toward him.

“Clearly you’re not if you break down every other day! I just want you to be okay,” he lets go and sits on one of the chairs in the living room. His face is hiding in his hands as he feels the anger and disappointment run through his brain.

Noticing this reaction, you sigh and furrow your eyebrows. It’s silent for a fleeting moment. “Why? You know I’ll be okay.”

You sit on the couch, opposite of the black leather chair Jaehyun is sitting in. 

“I know how much you’re hurting. And I don’t ever want you to feel those terrible feelings ever again. I want to be here for you and I want you to know that I want to be here for you. Can't you understand?”

It isn’t too much after he let out those words that you feel the tears fill up the sockets of your eyes and the void of the room. The walls that had now captured the two lovers screaming at each other now hear the abundant silence between them.

“I can't give you anything. You do so much for me and I’m just here.”

“I don’t care. No materialistic thing could ever compare to you just being here with me.” He gets up and sits next to you, making sure you know he’s with you the entire way.

“But it’s not enough.”

“Yes it is, Y/n. And I don't know what else to say to get through that thick head of yours. I love you for being you. And I love you for accepting me for who I am, not who I need to be. I don't need you to offer me anything besides your love.”

“That's the thing. I can only offer you my love.”

“I don’t care! Y/n, you need to realize how much you affect me. And I can't let you go around saying those words because they hurt me. It genuinely hurts me to hear those words.”

“…. I'm sorry.”

“Y/n, you truly don’t know how much you help those around you?”

It was silent for a moment.

“You work in a damn orphanage, for crying out loud! For fun. And it just makes me appreciate you. Appreciate how much you enjoy the happiness of other people. It’s all I could ever ask for.” He wiped the tears falling from your eyes.

“Please don’t cry. I just need you to know how much I love you. Why can't you see that? Do you not love me anymore?”

With zero hesitation, you released his hand from your face and stood up, “No! Don’t say that! Of course I still love you!”

“… it’s just that…”

“Don’t even say it, Y/n.”

The gloomy night has come to an end. And yet Jaehyun will not— will never— leave you behind. 

☹ ☹ ☹

Gonna regret being too honest

Callin' it love, but this isn’t fallin'

It’s the following morning. It is truly a gloomy morning, in fact. The rain was slowly pouring, the wind was rustling against the trees, and the upcoming fog coming from the ocean was painting the neighborhood.

The minute you woke up in Jaehyun’s arms, you remembered the fight the night prior. And, God, did you feel like an absolute ass.

Could this be it? It’s been three years and yet the question still lingers. Just why? It seems as though you bring him so much pain and yet he has chosen nothing but enduring the repercussions of your wrath.

You gradually regained the strength to get up and without a minute to spare, you quietly escaped out of Jaehyun’s protective arms to make breakfast. Some sort of remedy to help heal the pain of last night's argument.  

You sat on one of the island chairs waiting for the food to cook in the oven. Slowly but surely, you were once again trapped in your thoughts. Were you being too harsh? Were you being too honest? Were you actually enough to be with the most amazing man on planet Earth? 

All of these questions were paused by the padding of feet coming into the kitchen. You look up at him, not expecting anyone else. And in his dazed glory, Jeong Yoon Oh was still the most precious human being that had ever entered your existence.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing you’re able to say before finally crying. Crying the waves of emotions that you felt the night before yet did not physically show.

He didn’t say a single word. He didn’t have to. All he did was take you in his embrace and whispered apologies and sweet nothings into your ears. The rest of the morning went by with stuffy noses and quiet munches.

—

“I’m sorry about last night,” you apologized once again, sitting on the bed watching him get ready through the mirror.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I just want you to know that you can lean on me. You’ve been able to lean on me for years now…. I didn’t mean to yell but desperate times call for desperate measures,” says Jaehyun.

“But I'm not desperate at all, you know that.”

“Yes but don’t you know I’m so desperate for you?” 

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

hey babes, welcome to another wednesday. thanks for taggin me @mybrainismelted @energievie and @stocious

name: gigi

age: 24

location:

top sheet, yes or no? NO! i will kick it down throughout the night so it serves literally no purpose in my life, i switched to a duvet cover i could wash easily and have never been happier

how many stuffed animals do you own? 3

the names of your pets (and the explanations behind them): no pets!

favorite color: 🌿🌱🫒🥒🍏

any tattoos? nope! i wanted tattoos for a long time but did a complete 180 in my late teens and decided I dont want any at all

how you transport your belongings (purse, tote, hands, pockets, etc.): usually a small tote or I use a backpack when im out in the city running errands bc its all walkable cities this walkable cities that until the shit you would usually toss into the back of the car has to be carried on your person bc you are the back of your car now

the last movie you watched: whisper of the heart rewatch, last new movie? maXXXine

how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? to get dressed etc? like 25 min. average. But i need like an hour to stretch sit and have coffee and some food and just wake up for the day, i cant just get up and go its torture

favorite weather: spring time when its still very cool but warm in the sun, yeah. I also love a rainy day and want to live somewhere really rainy for a while

relationship status: single but slowly starting to consider getting back out there after a break up a while back, whatever the fuck that means (loud groan)

ice cream flavor of choice: lilikoi and vanilla chocolate chip

first fandom: supernatural, 😬

how many books have you read this year? 5! all good but im easy to please

first 4 words of your last notes app entry: Sou Fujimoto forest as (an architype)

and finally, if you had to change your URL tomorrow, what would you change it to? i love my url :( please leave it be

tagging:

@jrooc @mmmichyyy @creepkinginc @blue-disco-lights

@spookygingerr @deathclassic @suzy-queued @solitarycreaturesthey

@heymrspatel @lingy910y @transmickey @atthedugouts

@ian-galagher @softmick @catgrassplantdad

[flxffyclvuds]

Lev Haiba boyfriend hcs!

Requested!

Cw: caps, my feelings on tall people

Lev Lev Lev, what can you say? He's a charming fellow! Bubbly, cute, tall, blunt<33

It was easy for him to unintentionally grab your attention with that annoying height of his. He was almost as tall as the Eiffel tower!!!

And if there's one thing you've learnt, tall people = big ego

But! Despite that, you tried to get close to Lev. And you found comfort in his presence!!! it feels like he knew you your entire life!!!

But it's not all fun and games until you bump into him in the hallway late at night-

The way his eyes looks at you as if he knows all your deepest secret. You were so sure that you would've pissed yourself right there and then if it weren't for Yaku throwing a towel at Lev.

Ever since then, you couldn't see him the same despite his gremlin attitude towards you. But! It took you a while to get over that scary interaction.

He gets so excited whenever he sees you outside of class, always waving aggressively at you and almost slap people multiple times-

He also invites you to watch his practices that you became their unofficial manager!!

When the two of you got together, the team was kind of shocked but quickly got over it. They would just accept it and move on. Except for Yamamoto-

"ARGHHH!! NOT ONLY HE WANTS TO STEAL MY SPOT AS THE ACE, HE ALSO GETS A PARTNER BEFORE MEE!?!?!???"

"pfft- imagine not pulling?"

"GET BACK HERE KENMA!!! IM GOING TO DESTROY YOU!!!"

And with another reason to fuel Yamamoto's hatred towards the giant (he still cares for lev tho), your hyperactive giant comes out of practice with more tired than any other practices that day ♡

He tries to stand up properly so he could act like it was no big deal but he ends ups like a wet noodle falling on the ground :(

* Bonus *

Once he introduces you to his sister, you’re no longer his s/o, you’re hers now. She doesn't care if you're his (no she does) you're her s/o once she sees you<3

Oh you're at his place to do homework? Sorry, Alisa's taking you shopping.

You're here to hang out? Alright, time gossip 🤭 oops, forgot lev buddie for a second-

"[Name]!! You're here!! Let's go shopping, I've been wanting to go to this new store I found! :D"

"But Alisa-"

"No buts! You always spend time with Lev and not me :(" (L i e s)

"He's failing japanese!!! He needs me!"

Cue to you being dragged away, leaving Lev in the dust. Standing alone at his front door. 🧍

Don't worry, Alisa will pick the finest clothes for you! Might even spoil you as well <3

And because of her, you've gain +20 fashion sense!

She even let you try some of her clothes if you have a similar body as her! Only some because she won't let you touch her favorite ones. Which is almost her entire closet-

She makes it up for awesome makeovers!!! She's always done it on Lev when he was younger and still now!! Dw, she won't do anything embarrassing.. Most of the time-

Sorry for the long wait :') I don't really have that much time atm- but thank you for reading!! Reblogs are appreciated :]

Taglist: @wilczachannn @aphroditesgarden @soobswvrld

[shiki-aki]

Do you know how much Akira being Shiki's caretaker and guardian means so much for me in ED1?

Because being caretaker is so frustating (believe me I was the main caretaker for my late grandma in her last months and it isn't easy), I have to be patient to ny grandma who had dementia and regressed to be childish and likes to throw temper tantrum, my mental health went to the sewer, i barely manage to take care myself, my life is falling apart, im sleep deprived, i feel alone, there is many times i want to run away but i have obligation and i loved her so much to abandon her. She was like a second parent to me

My situation with Akira isn't the same, Akira doesn't have to deal Shiki throwing tantrum but he had to deal assassinations going after them in an POST-APOCALYPTIC WORLD WITH NO HEALTHCARE AND STABLE PLACE AND LITTLE TO NO FOOD??? THAT SPEAK SO MUCH DEDICATION, AKIRA DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY OBLIGATION TO TAKE CARE OF SHIKI AFTER WHAT HE HAD DONE?! HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH SHIKI'S SHIT ANYMORE AND LEFT HIM TO DIE BUT NO. THIS MAN JUST STAY WITH HIM

ALSO SANITATION

Sorry, for the capslock, I got excited for a moment...

Ig this speak so much i liked the ED1 too

I definitely wasn't expecting to wake up to this, but thank you so much for this ask, I really loved reading about your experience and how ED1 resonates with you <3.

(Putting a 'read more' because my response is quite lengthy and treads into meta territory)

I don't have any experience with being a caretaker but gosh that sounds so stressful T_T. I really hope you're doing better now, and that hopefully your grandma was still able to live her life peacefully until the end. To be honest, when I think about ED1, I don't really consider the more sad/distressing aspects of it, like Akira having to be on the run with Shiki for 2 years and doing everything for him, so this was a bit of an eye opener for me. I did write an ED1 fic where it kind of detailed their life while on the run, but it wasn't that depressive, and instead focused on Akira's bittersweet feelings toward Shiki TwT.

But same, I really love how dedicated Akira is to taking care of Shiki in ED1. I think that, no matter what, Akira is the determined type of person who won't give up. He already experienced what it was like to lose Keisuke, so he doesn't want to lose Shiki, either. And I know I haven't finished my meta yet but I'll just spill a bit of my thoughts for why Akira follows Shiki in ED1:

Shiki was the one to bring back Akira's will to live when Akira was at the lowest point in his life. If Shiki hadn't found him in that alleyway, Akira would've let himself get killed by any random Igra fighter. Shiki's route is different from Motomi's/Rin's in that Akira actually sees Keisuke die in front of him, while in the other two, Keisuke just runs off, so Akira clings onto the vain hope that Keisuke is still alive. Yeah it's fucked up how Shiki went about bringing back Akira's will to live, but let's be real, that's exactly the type of character he is lol, and what I love about it is how it makes sense for him to kidnap Akira and rape him, based on Shiki's obsession with Akira's determined and defiant nature.

So now, when Shiki is at the lowest point in his life and has lost the will to live, it's Akira's turn to do the same for Shiki and force him to continue living. Which is why he sticks by Shiki's side for 2 years even when life seems absolutely miserable. (GOD I FUCKING LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH I JUST SFDGHFDHGHSDFHSDFHSDH they really get each other tbh).

But even though life seems miserable, Akira doesn't view it that way (and this is also why Shiki's ED1 is my favorite and why I personally think it's the one that most beautifully completes Akira's character arc). Like look at this:

It's so starkly different from Akira's POV at the beginning of the game. When Akira was in the CFC, he didn't care about anything and he certainly didn't wax poetic about the scenery (not that the scenery in CFC is pretty but like, you get what I mean lol). We can tell Akira is different in ED1, that his very philosophy is different, because he's looking at life from a new perspective now, taking the time to appreciate the nature around him and just... the simple fact of being alive. Whereas at the start of the game, Akira didn't see a meaning to his own life and was living just because. In Shiki's ED1, Akira does see a meaning to life, and it's why he takes care of Shiki and protects him. Because he finally understands how valuable life is, and how you should cherish it.

But I'm gonna go back to the tunnel scene real quick to touch upon what exactly Shiki said that changed Akira's perspective and made Akira want to follow him:

Akira, his whole life, was looking for a purpose/meaning to his existence, and now he's finally "found" it, but not in the way he expected. After learning about his own past/backstory and how he was experimented on in the past, Akira starts thinking that the only reason for his existence is to be a test subject/experiment, and that his blood dictates his existence. He starts having an identity crisis basically, especially since he already saw how his blood hurts/kills people (Rein users, Takeru, Keisuke), and that the whole reason for why Emma and Gwen wanted to capture him was for his blood so he could be further experimented on.

So Akira starts falling into this hole, thinking that his worth in life is only determined by his blood. And then he turns to Shiki and asks if Shiki wants to kill him, because he expects Shiki to view him as only the "null-Nicole carrier" and not Akira as a person. He knows that Shiki hated Nano for having a virus in his blood, and Akira also has a virus in his blood, even if the effect is different. So he fully expects Shiki to kill him at this moment.

And then Shiki tells him: "You're mine. That's all there is to it."

Shiki says exactly the right words Akira needed to hear at this time. He's not going to kill Akira, because he doesn't view him for his blood, but for who he is as a person. Now let me make it clear that Shiki isn't the most emotionally intelligent person out there lol but I think, even during this moment, he saw how conflicted Akira was feeling about his own existence, especially with regards to the blood thing.

So Shiki... comforts him in his own special way by saying that he won't kill Akira because Akira is his possession, but also remember that Shiki made Akira his possession in the first place because he was interested in Akira as a person. When he kidnapped Akira, it was because he was fascinated by Akira's resistance and defiance and determination. This is as close to Shiki saying he likes Akira for who he is as you're gonna get, and what I love about this dialogue is how it keeps Shiki entirely in-character. He's not gonna coddle Akira or sugarcoat his words, and he's also going to hide his true feelings by saying that Akira is just his possession, but his true feelings are there in how he refuses to kill Akira. Because again, he views Akira as his own person, and not just as someone carrying a dangerous virus in his blood.

I'M GONNA STOP HERE BEFORE I RAMBLE TOO MUCH BUT. Let me just add this one last scene from the game to end it off on this point lol.

Shiki had told him who he was: that he remained Akira, no more, no less, despite the tainted blood in his veins. That was why Akira had chosen to stay, to be as near as he could to the core of who Shiki was.

At the end of the day, this is what I love about Shikiaki. This is why I ship them so hard. Because they truly understand each other, they see each other for the "core of who they are" and are drawn to each other's character traits. Shiki dedicated his whole life to killing Nano because of the "dirty virus" in Nano's blood, but him refusing to kill Akira even after learning about how Akira has the same blood origin speaks VOLUMES about how fond he actually is of Akira, and how he views Akira as his own person.

And I feel like, at the end of it all, Akira just wanted someone to understand him and see him for who he is. He had a difficult time communicating with others his whole life because people didn't like his terse and reserved nature (even his own best friend didn't like that side of him). But Shiki doesn't care about Akira's emotionally stunted nature; he cares about how Akira is determined, stubborn, prideful, and how he doesn't take shit from anyone lol. And Shiki likes every side of Akira. His route is the only one where Akira didn't have to drastically change his personality just to make the romance work, but Akira's pre-existing character traits were strengthened over the course of Shiki's route.

*TAKES DEEP BREATH* OKAY YEAH SORRY I RAMBLED A LOT THERE and that's not even all my thoughts tbh, that's just like. A third of it LMAO. I'm saving the rest for my meta.

But okay going back to your ask, yeah the sanitation aspect is one that I don't want to think too heavily on lmao. I think it just speaks to how much Akira cares for Shiki though, that he would help "clean" Shiki up, and how again, Akira is doing all of this because he recognizes how precious life is, so he won't abandon Shiki, because Shiki didn't abandon him back in Toshima.

NO DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING EXCITED ABOUT ED1 I LOVE THIS ENDING SO MUCH I LOOOOVE TALKING ABOUT IT. I ALWAYS END UP WRITING A WHOLE ASS ESSAY WHENEVER PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT IT. I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIKE ED1 AS WELL, I feel like many Shikiaki shippers hated ED1 back then because it was so sad, but I feel like in recent times people understand and appreciate ED1 for what it is? And that makes me happy ig lol, like don't get me wrong I adore all of Shiki's EDs but ED1 is just. IT HITS DIFFERENT. And I hope that in my meta I'll be able to explain why ED1 is just the perfect ending for Shiki and Akira's story despite how sad and angsty it is sfhsdhfhdghfdghgffdg.

Thank you so much for the ask and I'm sorry I wrote a long ass response in reply omg I was just really excited reading your thoughts!!!

[yourlocalghoulette]

Chapter 2~ Take On Me

Series Masterlist~ Main Masterlist~Meet the horses~

Warnings- eventual smut so MDNI! pretty much just fluff, reader has trauma, language, slow burn, flirting, relationship building

w/c: 3k

A/N~ part 2 is hereee! im literally so excited to be writing this story. part 3 is already in the works! please reblog, it always helps! Lmk if you want to be on the taglist:))

It was only when you got Joel’s number and scheduled your first work day that it started feeling real. Doing this, being around horses again, the thing that hurt you more than anything. 

Well, it wasn’t the horses that hurt you. It was the way you were forced to push your limits with them. The way you were yelled at if you didn’t do something right. The way your stomach sank every time you were forced to use an unneeded pair of spurs on a horse.

Sleep doesn’t come easy Thursday night, the night before the long-awaited first day. You toss and turn in your bed, palms clammy and forehead sweaty. You kick off the matcha-colored bedspread you were wrapped in and sit up in bed, trying to take deep breaths to clear your head. You glance at your phone. 2:00 AM. If you know Sōl well enough, she’s probably at a party. She definitely won’t answer until morning. 

So you text the one person who also might not be awake but still understands. Joel.

You click on the chat that only a few formal messages have been exchanged in and wonder if you’re being too impulsive. What is he going to think about you texting him at two in the morning? Your mind clouded with sleepiness and delusion, you text him anyway.

You- sorry for texting so late. having second thoughts about tmrw. 

To your surprise, the ‘read’ icon pops up as soon as you send it. 

Joel- i understand how you feel. are you wanting to cancel tomorrow? i was looking forward to it.

Did you want to cancel? Your brain is in a frenzy. He’s looking forward to it, you think over and over.

You- idk. i think still want to come tomorrow but I’m gonna take it slow:)

Joel- that makes sense and it’s totally good with me. can’t blame ya for feeling reluctant. you can pace things as slow as you want, ok cowgirl? 

The nickname jumped off of your screen at you and butterflies take off inside your stomach. 

You- ok cowboy;) thanks. excited to see u and the horses tmr!

Joel- likewise. now get some sleep, cowgirl. 

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you turn off your phone. The conversation was short but sweet and oddly comforting. 

You silently pad over to the kitchen and quickly make a cup of chamomile tea with lots of honey. While you drink it, you shamelessly open the stable’s website and scroll to the picture of Joel and Sarah. You look closely at Joel’s left hand, resting over Sarah’s shoulder. 

No ring.

Ok, he wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean much. He could still be dating, you tell yourself. Even with that possibility, you catch yourself smiling softly at the photo, staring into Joel’s dark brown eyes. Soft and comforting, like the tea you’re drinking. You sigh and walk slowly back to bed, rubbing your eyes which at this point are bloodshot from tiredness.

With Joel’s messages imprinted in your head, you quickly fall asleep.

“Un-fucking-believable. I gave you one. Job. ONE job! To win the goddamn gold medal. And what did you do? You knocked over FOUR jumps. You are a dissapointment to this team. To the profession of jumping.”

“Please- I-I’m sorry, the horse was acting weird! Probably because you made me whip him when he doesn’t need it!”

“Don’t use those goddamn tears on me. Maybe I should show you how a whip feels.”

You wake up three hours later in a cold sweat, your face streaked with tears. You breathe heavily, your hands shaking with each breath. You run your hands over your face. 

“It’s just a memory,” you whisper over and over to yourself. You try to breathe in through your nose and out your mouth, calming yourself down.

Sometimes you wish you don’t have to wake up in an empty bed, no one by your side to comfort you. It stings when you think about the last time someone was in your bed. 

You shake the memories away for right now. Taking one last deep breath to attempt to ground you, you climb out of bed. You skip breakfast, not sure if you would be able to keep any food down with the amount of nerves flitting in your stomach. 

You brush your teeth and throw on some mascara quickly, your hands still shaky and making it difficult. You put on a black tank top and faded boot cut jeans, along with a loose red flannel because it can get cold in the early Texas mornings.

It’s 6:00 on the dot when you slide on your steel-toed work boots, tucking them under your jeans. You grab your keys and a granola bar just in case and head out the door.

As you struggle to start your old pickup truck, second thoughts and anxieties start to fill your mind once again. You struggle to push them out of your head, filling it instead with the thought that you get to see Joel again. Nevertheless, your hands shake around the wheel as you drive the short drive to Sarah’s Stables. 

When you pull into the driveway, Joel is sitting outside the barn on the concrete bench, shaking his leg with a nervous expression on his face. You step out of your truck and stride over to Joel as he stands up, trying to put on a confident smile even though the last thing you feel is confident. 

“Morning,” Joel grins, shaking your hand firmly. His hand lingers on yours a little longer than it should before he pulls away. 

“G’morning, cowboy,” you tip an invisible hat, and he returns the gesture. He leads you into the barn, gesturing you to follow with his hand.

“Did’ya get any sleep last night?” He asks with a hint of concern in his voice, making your heart melt. 

You shrug. “Kind of. And I’m really sorry for texting you so late- or, early? I didn’t really have anyone else to text.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Joel waves it off. “I liked it, having someone to talk to even for a bit. I’m always up past 2 doing paperwork and ordering feed and all that shit.”

“Good to know,” you grin, trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. You enter the barn, immediately walking up to the small Shetland pony’s stall. “Hey, buddy,” you coo, gently tracing the long stripe down his face. “And to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

Joel chuckles, leaning next to you on the stall door. “That’s Orion. Rescued him along with the percheron, Amadeus, from an animal hoarder.”

“So you’ve had a rough time with humans, huh, bud?” You nod understandingly. “I get it.”

“Very. I get it too,” Joel says softly. “So. Let’s get to work, huh? I’m gonna show you the different feed mixes for each horse. Not sayin’ you’ll have to feed ‘em every time you’re working here. We’ll feed the horses then I’ll introduce you. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds perfect. It feels weird, being at a barn after so long of avoiding horses, y’know?” you sigh softly. “Is it too soon to say I have a good feeling about you and this barn? Like…I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels different.”

Joel nods knowingly, toying absentmindedly with Orion’s forelock. “Not at all. I get it,” he says understandingly. His eyes soften as he watches you interact with Orion, a slight faraway look on your face. “You doin’ okay, cowgirl?”

You nod, straightening up. “Yeah. Sorry. Just…zoned out.”

“No need to apologize,” Joel smiles softly. A tall cinnamon colored Tennessee Walker down the aisle kicks his stall door in impatience. “Let’s do this.”

In less than 20 minutes, the horses are fed and happily nickering into their feed buckets. Joel had written down the feed mixes for each individual horses with care and posted it on the wall so you didn’t have to memorize them right away. You can tell how much Joel Miller cares for his horses. 

“We can turn the horses out now.” Joel tosses you two halters, a purple nylon one and a teal rope one. “Think you can handle two horses at once?”

“Totally.” You sling the halters over your shoulder. 

“The rope halter is for Whiskey, the Tennessee Walker and the nylon is for Dottie, the Appaloosa mare. Stalls 5 and 6.”

In no time, you worked together to get all six horses out to the pasture. It’s picturesque, a large green field with a tall white fence surrounding the perimeter. It feels like a daydream watching the horses frolic aorund with eachother, enjoying their taste of freedom after being caged in a stall for the night. 

You and Joel sit on the lower bar of the fence, arms resting along the top piece with your head on top. Observing the horses’ behaviors carefully, you can see with the way the chestnut Quarter Horse gelding pins his ears and threatens any horse that gets close to his pile of hay that he’s top dog. The dominant horse, the leader.  A comfortable silence falls between you and Joel, as you both let out a collective sigh of relief as the stress of morning feeding washes off. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Joel sighs, breaking off the silence. 

“Gorgeous,” you agree, glancing over at Joel. His soft brown eyes are full of adoration for his horses.

He gestures towards the chestnut Quarter Horse. “That right there is Magnum. Total powerhouse. Used to be a ‘coon hunting horse.”

You giggle, staring over at Magnum’s solid build and shiny coat. “People still hunt for raccoons?”

Joel shrugs incredulously. “I guess. His owner gave him to me because he wasn’t getting enough attention. He was ridden twice a week and left to rot by himself in a field the rest of the time. He’s obviously dom, as you’ve probably noticed.”

“Mhm,” you nod. “I noticed. I can tell he has a strong personality, too.” You grin, looking over at Joel.

“Sure does,” Joel smiles back proudly. Your shared gaze lasts a little too long before you turn your head away, looking back at the horses and trying to hide the flustered expression on your face. 

Joel introduces you to the rest of the horses; Amadeus, the percheron, Dottie, the petite Appaloosa mare, and Arizona, the gorgeous flaxen-colored mustang/Arabian cross. 

“Say, have you eaten anything for breakfast yet?” Joel asks, holding out his hand to help you up from your perches on the fence. 

You’re sure this man is going to be the death of you. You shake your head sheepishly, gently grabbing his hand as you stand up. His grip is soft and warm, hands calloused from years of hard work. “Not really,” you say as you let go of his hand. “I was too nervous.”

“What, am I that scary to ya’, cowgirl?” He grins cheekily, nudging your shoulder playfully as you both walk back into the barn.

“Pfft,” you roll your eyes as you nudge him back. “No, not scared. Terrified.” You stick your tongue out at him. 

“Ha, ha, darlin’. Why don’t we go get some breakfast? Gotta fuel up before cleanin’ the stalls.”

You shrug. “Sure. Where were you thinking?”

“Home Grounds is a good coffee shop, good bakery stuff too,” Joel offers. 

“No fucking way,” your eyes widen in surprise. “I work there! How have I never seen you there?”

“You must not be on the clock when I go. I’m sure I’d remember a face like yours,” Joel says softly, then catches himself, clearing his throat. “Sorry, that was-”

“It’s fine,” you wave it off. “Let’s go. We can take your truck. Mine’s a little…messy right now.”

Joel chuckles. “Sure as hell can’t be as bad as mine.”

Soon, you’re driving with Joel to the coffee shop, Take On Me by A-ha playing quietly through the speakers.

“I love this song!” You smile widely, opening the window and resting your arm outside. 

“Me too,” Joel turns up the stereo. “You sing at all, cowgirl?”

You shake your head quickly, eyes wide in mock horror. “Not at all. Do you, cowboy?”

“A bit. I play a smidge of guitar, too,” he smirks. 

“Oh, really? I’m gonna have to hear some of these Joel Miller guitar skills sometime,” you grin.

Joel shakes his head, a smile growing on his face as he pulls into the coffee shop driveway. “Believe me, I hype up my skills wayyy too much.” He turns off the truck and quickly runs around to your side of the truck to open your door. Butterflies take off in your stomach as he does this. 

Hiding your flustered look, you deadpan him, eyes rolling. “Dude,” you grin, climbing out and he shuts the door behind you. 

“What?” He opens the coffee shop door for you too. “Momma always taught me to be a gentleman.”

“And my mom always taught me to never trust men,” you grin cheekily.

“I can change that,” he side eyes you. 

Trying to ignore his words, you wave at a coworker. “Hey, Jess!” You call to her, walking up to the counter. 

“Hey, girlie. Who’s that?” She asks slyly, eyeing Joel. “New boyfriend?”

“Uh, no,” you say quickly before Joel can hear. “I’m working for him. He owns a horse barn.”

“You’re back to horses?” Jess inquires, cocking a brow. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, okay?” You spin around to face Joel. “What are you getting?”

“Just a black coffee and blueberry muffin, but don’t worry, cowgirl. I gotchu.” He starts taking out his wallet but you playfully swat his arm.

“Don’t. Please. I get employee discount anyway.”

Joel sighs in defeat, holding up his hands in mock offense. “Fine. But I’m paying next time.”

Next time, next time, next time….

After you order, the black coffee for him and a cold brew for you, you go to put your card in the reader to notice Joel’s card is already there. “Joel!” You mutter, giving him a disapproving look. 

“Hey, I’m tryna be nice, okay?” He chuckles. 

You roll your eyes. “Whatever. Thanks, really.”

The atmosphere felt charged with an unspoken tension as you both sat at a small table by the window, the warm sunlight filtering in. Joel's eyes seemed to hold a certain depth, a familiarity that stirred something within you.

"So, tell me about yourself, cowgirl," Joel said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between you.

You took a sip of your cold brew, gathering your thoughts. "There’s not a whole lot to tell. Well, there is, but not a lot I want to go into right now. I fell in love with horses after riding a pony at a fair, and it kind of exploded from there. I started off riding Western and doing gymkhanas, then switched over to hunter/jumpers. That was obviously a huge change. I exelled really quickly in that, but as you probably know, being the best doesn’t mean you��re treated the best. A lot of shit happened at those barns, and I quit when when I was 18. People called me selfish and self-absorbed for quitting, which is what i believed for awhile. But my mental health imrpoved a lot after quitting and I came to accept the fact that it was a good thing.”

Joel nodded, his expression understanding. "I get that. Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and we need to take a step back to reassess things."

"Yeah, exactly," you replied, feeling a sense of relief wash over you at his understanding. "But now I'm back, and I'm hoping things will be different this time."

"I'm sure they will be," Joel said with a reassuring smile. "You've got a good head on your shoulders, cowgirl."

You felt heat creeping up your cheeks at his compliment, quickly taking another sip of your cold brew to hide your reaction. "Thanks, Joel. I appreciate that."

The conversation flowed effortlessly between you, covering everything from your favorite books to your shared love of old John Wayne western movies. With each passing moment, you found yourself becoming more and more drawn to Joel, his easygoing nature and genuine kindness pulling you in.

Before you knew it, your cups were empty, and it was time to head back to the barn. As you walked side by side with Joel, the familiar feeling of nervous excitement bubbled up inside you once again.

As soon as you walk back into the barn, he turns on a 70s playlist and tosses you a mucking fork. “Ready to muck some stalls, cowgirl?”

The music fills the barn with a nostalgic vibe as you take the mucking fork from Joel with a grin. "Born ready," you reply, matching his playful tone.

Together, you fall into a rhythm of cleaning the stalls, the repetitive motion oddly soothing as you work side by side. Joel hums along to the music, occasionally breaking out into a soft whistle that echoes through the barn.

As you work, you can't help but steal glances at Joel, admiring the way his muscles flex beneath his shirt with each movement. There's something comforting about his presence, a sense of safety and warmth that you haven't felt in a long time.

Before you know it, the stalls are clean, and the horses are happily munching on fresh hay. You wipe the sweat from your brow, feeling a sense of satisfaction at a job well done.

"Thanks for your help, cowgirl," Joel says, giving you a grateful smile as he leans against the stall door.

"No problem," you reply, returning his smile. "It was actually kind of fun."

Joel chuckles, pushing himself off the door. "Glad to hear it. You've got a talent for this, you know?"

You feel a swell of pride at his words, a sense of validation that you haven't felt in a long time. "Thanks, Joel. That means a lot coming from you."

He gives you a nod of appreciation before glancing at his watch. "Well, I hate to cut this short, but I've got some paperwork to take care of. Think you can handle things on your own for a bit?"

You nod confidently, eager to prove yourself. "Of course. I'll hold down the fort."

"Great," Joel says, giving you a pat on the shoulder. "I'll be back in a bit. And hey, if you need anything, just give me a shout."

With that, he disappears into the office, leaving you alone in the barn. You take a deep breath, feeling a surge of determination coursing through your veins.

You may have started the day with doubts and anxieties, but now, as you stand in the quiet of the barn surrounded by the gentle sounds of the horses, you feel a sense of purpose wash over you.

[glacialswordsman]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST, DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: jamey is my name gay is my game (but also idrc what you call me. i've been called many-a-thing, such as: jammy, jimmy, jimjam, james, yimmy, yammy, yimyam, yamey, jamnelius, jamison the third, etc)

PRONOUNS: he/him ONLY! <3

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: if i hardly know you, IMs on tumblr is best until i know we vibe OOCly! then i'll give you my discord

NAME OF MUSE(s): kaeya alberich on this blog ofc but i also muse wriothesley, il capitano, xianyun, aether, jing yuan, boothill, argenti, hua cheng, xie lian, wei wuxi-- alright i'm not gonna put everyone here, if you wanna know the rest go to my mumu LMFAO

BEST EXPERIENCE: honestly a lot of my best experiences just stem from Meeting all the people i have and getting to befriend so many creative & wonderful individuals. making connections eclipses all else for me tbh

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS:

- no OOC communication. i refuse to RP with anyone who doesn't talk to me OOCly, because i want to make sure that 1) we vibe, 2) we have the comfort of knowing we can talk to each other about boundaries/icks/plots, 3) WE VIBE.

- possessiveness. exclusivity is different because i really only do that with people i've known for A WHILE and that i trust. but if we're shipping (not exclusively) and you don't let me even interact with someone/someone's muse that's the same character as yours, even if it's just one-off/not for shipping purposes??? nah. i'm good.

MUSE PREFERENCES: characters that have gone through so fucking much and try their best for everyone around them, themselves, or the object of their affection. characters that paint themselves to be the villains so they can keep the focus on themselves and take all the blame so those they care for don't get lumped with them. powerful. sacrificial. giant heart. smiling but dying inside. hot as fuck. yknow.

PLOTS OR MEMES:  both!!! i like both a lot! they're very situational because not everyone has the time to hunker down and plot stuff, or they just may not have the spoons or whatever other reason. plots are fun because you can get really in-depth and talk long term/potential ideas. memes are easy to use since, yknow, they already have ideas to build off of.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i really don't mind either way, all i ask is that i'm not given one-liners if it's a serious rp. if it's some crack/one-shot, then whatever! but if we actually plotted something out, it'd devastate me if i was just met with like, one to three lines. to me, it says "i'm not really interested in this but i'm putting up with it." another thing i don't really want is to CONSTANTLY reply with like... 600+ words... i love writing a lot, i love setting up the exposition and doing dialogue, etcetc-- but i don't want to write out Every Single Detail or Every Single Thought about my character/my character has for EACH response, you know?

BEST TIME TO WRITE: late afternoon/evening/late night for me, usually! it really depends on what i'm doing that day, and how long my daily chores take (including game dailies/weeklies lmao)

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): UH? i don't???? think so??????????? i mean. i definitely try my best for everyone, and... uh. hm. maybe in some aspects i guess alksfmalkgm

tagged by: @ccaptain THANK U SAM STINKIE SMELLIE MWAMWAMWA tagging: ERM. UM. AUGGHHH the usual clowns @inblazes, @tartagla, @poswiecenia, but also @maskednihilism and @crimsononiarataki

[watatsumiis]

OFBFKDODBSJK Hello General!! I often see u in my notifs but until now I never knew how to interact with u

But the ask game! I wanna know everything but I don't wanna spam u sooooo I have 4 emojis, for every f/o please 🥹❤️

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

😘: What’s your f/o’s favorite thing about YOU?

💤: Do you sleep together? If so, describe your sleeping positions and patterns (E.g. who steals the blankets, are either of you insomniacs, etc.)

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

Aaaaaand!

Do you have shipnames?

WAAAH HI THERE!!! i see you on my dash a lot and im always like. (looks shyly and waves at u from afar. but no closer bc im shy).

TUMBLES AROUND ON THE FLOOR EXCITEDLY. THANK YOU SO MUCH PLEASE NEVER WORRY ABOUT SPAMMING ME :D

ramblies below the cut ehe <3

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

Ayato - His smug vibes, his voice, HIS LITTLE BEAUTY MARK <3 though also the fact he has so much experience in being in charge and making decisions is also very <3 to me. i hate making decisions

Capitano - mm,,,,, big,,,,, strongk,,,, nice,,,, (most of the things i actually like about him are Not Canon so im not sure whether or not to count them but if we are its his face (mm prety), his big hands (for holding) and his protective instinct asjkdf)

Zhongli - Dragon guy ,,,, his wide array of knowledge about lots of things, his voice

Diavolo - dragon guy (to me),, his optimism, his himbo tendencies

Lucifer - same as ayato -- the fact he is good at making decisions and taking the lead, his wiiiiings <3, his grey streaks (sob)

😘: What’s your f/o’s favorite thing about YOU?

i felt so narcissistic typing all of this section out sjkdhfkjd

Ayato - my willingless to actually sit down and listen to him talk about things that may not be inherently relevant or useful !

Capitano - maybe that i try to see others for more than what they are on a surface level and give people the benefit of the doubt when trying to hear their side ?

Zhongli - possibly my curiosity ? i come up with a lot of random questions that others may find silly or not question in the first place (my google history is such a mess because of it) and i think hed have fun just going into random tangents and infodumps because of my questions, and id love to listen <3

Diavolo - my ability to help reel him in when he's being unrealistic/making questionable snap judgements or being Too Optimistic(tm)

Lucifer - probably similar to ayato in that ill always listen to him no matter what - and that i tend to behave myself (for the most part. maybe)

💤: Do you sleep together? If so, describe your sleeping positions and patterns (E.g. who steals the blankets, are either of you insomniacs, etc.)

Ayato - often up super late into the night doing paperwork, though id imagine he finds a way to do some of them in bed, so we'll often end up with him sitting up, leaning against the headboard while im falling asleep next to him on my side with my back pressed up against his leg. id definitely hog the blankets because hed have these fancy sheets that barely keep out the cold. he just sighs and lets it happen. we wear cute matching pyjamas though so its ok <3 though when we're both asleep i imagine we end up spooning (hes big spoon OBVI)

Capitano - he probably pulls a lot of late nights for fatui stuff or whatever but i always try to stay awake to wait for him to get home bc im worried but end up falling asleep on the couch. he just wordlessly carries me to bed. we sleep facing each other and he has one arm draped over me while i curl up real small <3 though also the mental image of me trying to be the big spoon/jetpack is very very funny and would totally happen. oh my god i bet he snores SO loud though. and is really easy to accidentally wake up. if you drop something he jumps out of bed in a fighting stance kjhsjdkf

Zhongli - sleeps like a rock (ha). he basically just plonks down in the middle of the bed on his back, hands resting on his stomach like a mf corpse and leaves me to work around him. like he barely stirs even if i climb all over him. hes just like another pillow on the bed. his bedding is fancy but in a different way to ayato because theyre actually really really nice quality and soo comfy cozy. id probably end up laying on top of him, face-down with my head on his chest more often than not. mattress 2.0

Diavolo - he starfishes out across the middle of the bed in his full demon form, hes a blanket hog, he snores and talks in his sleep. probably sleeps in only boxers. he lets me lay on his wings and curl up close to him. he gets really super clingy at night though so sometimes itd be very hard for me to sleep much. he'll wake up from like a dead sleep and whine if i tried to move away to get comfy. we also have our own separate sets of blankets otherwise he'll leave me shivering at 2am curled up on the edge of the bed as he smacks me with his tail (I KNOW HE DOESNT CANONLY HAVE ONE LET ME DREAM)

Lucifer - We probably both fall asleep separately (or just doing the bare minimum of touches, holding hands or legs entangled a little) but tend to gravitate towards one another during the night. im a bit of a blanket hog but hes fine with it. he doesnt often sleep in his demon form or else i end up all night playing with his wings. soft. hehe. he also stays up very late but if i come to his study with a pathetic enough set of puppy dog eyes he'll cave and come to bed. and carry me there if im being lazy. hehe.

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

Ayato - Along his jaw and on his beauty mark!! but also his hands and forearms. he also gets a lot of nibbles im like a little rat <3 He gives a lot of ear, jaw and neck kisses.

Capitano - His face, if he has it exposed, is the number one target here I think. I wanna give him so many lil kissies <3. I'd imagine he likes giving forehead and top of the head kisses.

Zhongli - Listen. let me have my headcanons of a slightly more monstrous zhongli with scales and stuff. i like to imagine he has little scale-like markings/patches in soft/exposed parts (tummy, top of hands, that kinda thing) and i would give those spots many kisses. but also the tip of his nose because hed always do a cutely shocked look when i do. his favourite spot to smooch ? hands and shoulders i think, but also id imagine he likes giving little jaw kisses and collarbone kisses if theyre available <3

Diavolo - Cheeks and face!! but also shoulders and wings. and horns. and tummy. ehe. i think hed get all smiley and blushy and adorable when he's receiving smooches.

his favourite spot TO smooch requires a little explanation. the main sona of mine that i ship with him is an angel from the celestial realm, who has these sort of 'halo markings' all across his body (wrists, ankles, thighs, upper arms, tips of ears) and a few little teardrop-shaped markings on his cheeks that dia really likes to give little kissies to, as well as on his back right between his wings!! :D

Lucifer - he gets forehead kisses. and kisses next to his eyes and on his temples. he also gets a lot of nibbles on the wrist, knuckles and neck. i have this very vivid mental image of swooping in while hes doing boring work and smooching him until he stops frowning so much. its very cute. I think he'd like kissing the top of my head and pressing his face into my hair, but i think his favourite would be any pulse points, especially wrist and neck <3

Ship names

My name doesn't really go well with most of my favs (sobbing emoji) the only ship name im really happy with is 'Rowavolo' (which is me x Diavolo). I guess i could add 'Ro' to the end of Ayato or Capitano but it doesn't sound Right to me. comes off the tongue weird. so alas no ship names :<

[kitten4sannie]

groupie anon is back to say that that seonghwa fic.... ngl I was so anxious about them going at it in reader's workplace but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes. ALSO I READ THE YUNHO ASTRONAUT ONE- I... that was not very cash money of you ngl.

You deserve to be hyped up um??? giving us all this for FREE?? (my broke uni student self thanks you, on my knees, bowing to you like the angel you are).

also don't mind if you find this account hahah, i just like being groupie anon hehe. I already made my kpop account but I'm waiting to write that fic first before I start being active on it!

honestly, your response to my idea was so wholesome, I might cry. I planned on going home and watching the lectures I've missed while I was in class, but uni can wait. sannie sick fic cannot. I will birth it today no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.

I got into ateez a bit late but they're one of my ults along with seventeen, but sannie has been a consistent bias. I like to say I don't really have biases and it changes everyday, but san.... he's... yeah. he's made a home for himself in my head. living rent free. slay. but no seriously I'm dtf any day, any time, anywhere. however he wants. I would do questionable things for that man. ehem. moving on. I'd crawl on the floor like a dog and- ANYWAY... other than san though, the rest kind of fight for the bias position everyday.

us as public penpals??? shut up that's so fjfufbhs CUTE im melting. I can't wait to write that fic now hahaha.

thank you for your kinds wishes, I really hope uni goes easy on me this year :").

I hope all is going well for you!!! until next time :* (maybe next time would be through my actual account, rather than as groupie anon! ^^)

heyyyy yeah i feel like the reader’s going to be having a meeting with her boss whenever she gets back sjhsdgd ohhh the astronaut yunho one 🥺 yeah that was the exact opposite of cash money i hurt my feelings so much after i wrote that ;;; but that kind of angst hurts just right sometimes 💔

it may be for free but i get paid in praise so that’s a win in my book 💕 hshdhd don’t awaken anything in me nowww and i’m def not an angel in any capacity more like a goblin that sits in its den and writes filth in the darkness loll.

i have some ideas but i’m not completely sure! oooh okay i can’t wait till you start posting! awwh haha i just really liked that concept you came up with it’s just so insanely fluffy and domestic i want to cry happy tears 🥹 ahhhhh sick sannieeee i can’t wait to read it!! i’m so excited dude

ooh seventeen i like a lot of their music! i can’t pick a bias tho there’s just too many and my mind can’t make a decision jshhs but vernon tho… that man could get it. who’s your seventeen bias btw? yeah i feel that in my bones like san is just something else like i could write a 10 page mla essay on why i love him and how delusional i am for that man but i won’t for everyone’s sake 👍🏼 “crawl on the floor like a dog” FOULLLL but same like where’s the leash? it’s time for walkies - i’m just gonna stop talking now… but same i can’t pick where it comes to the rest of them they’re just too powerful 😔

it is really cute huh??? i’m so glad you decided to send me an ask bc i’m loving this! but if you wanna dm too i’m 100% down for that <3 you’re welcome and i hope it does too hang in there and just take it one day at a time <3 it’s def not the best but it’ll get better soon! oooh sounds good i’ll be looking forward to your next ask 💕

[blublublujk]

young blood (2)

part 1 part 2 part 3

word count: 6k

genre: established/growing relationship

pairings: vampy koo x vampy reader x vampy tae x taekook

summary:

Teaching your Newborn vampire lover how to control his thirst.

warnings: jungkook is like their sweet baby (he's spoiled ok >.<). major taekook warning pls do not read if that bothers you. adult content, swearing/harsh language, sexuality, sexual content (noona kink, tears, bondage/blindfold, stripping, handjob, blowjob, cock slapping, cum shots, fingering, cum eating, biting (fangs), feeding (blood invloved), ass eating, spanking??, unprotected sex/anal, multiple orgasms, denied orgasms, overstimulation) i hope i got everything, im tired SORRY

a.n: does anyone still remember me? T—T how has everyone been??? IM SORRY I TOOK SO LONG. i have been going through so many things, it’s one thing after another. i feel a bit better now but it’s been crazy lately, i feel very exhausted </3 ik i said i was done with this but clearly not… i hope you all can enjoy this in the meantime. i didnt mean to starve you all along jungkook >.< i missed everyone and i miss being active. i’ll try and be back soon. i think this will be the last time i touch these characters so it’s bittersweet. i’ll probably do drabbles if requested here and there but im done with this LOL thank you to the sweet people who check up on me. im very thankful, see you soon 🥺

ALSO much thank you to my sweet friend who helped beta read, i love you smmm honey <333

**re-edited and republished on 09/03/23

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

--

Jungkook's thirst worsened over time. 

Typically, a newborn’s thirst decreases as they age within their new lifestyle. It’s an agonizing pain that affects the throat. At first, it feels like a slight ache, almost as if stuck with a stubborn cold, then it transforms into a flame. It’s like shards of glass are being forced down the throat, unable to inhale anything besides its toxic fumes. A burning flame that could only be controlled by the consumption of blood. 

When blood enters the mouth of a newborn, it’s undeniably addicting and nearly impossible to ever stop wanting more. When blood enters the mouth, that excruciating pain they once had felt, turns into a less painful burn, the blood soothing their throat as if it were ice until it becomes bearable, until they feel absolutely spent. To vampires, blood acts as a drug. A drug, they’ll become dependent on for the rest of their sorry, immortal lives. When one is a newborn this all seems like the most difficult mission of your life. The pain is different for everyone. Some deal with this pain longer than others, for some it improves within the estimated years, but as for those that never come out of that cycle, well… they don't survive long enough to tell the tale.

It hurts seeing your own kind unable to come out of that horror. You had been there too, you all had. The thirst seems never ending until it isn’t. You learn to adapt and minimize it. Some escape, but those that don’t get punished. Punished for something nearly impossible to control. It’s sad. That’s when you made it your mission, along Taehyung, to help newborns come out of that cycle. 

There was supposed to be no favoritism, that’s what you and Taehyung had promised each other, years ago when the agreement had first started. But somewhere in between then and now, Jungkook had become your most prized possession.  

But Jungkook’s thirst only worsened over time.

The more he fed, the more he wanted. Jungkook couldn’t go a week without feeding. Not only did it start to scare you, but everyone started to notice that his feeding habits weren't normal. 

When you and Taehyung first found Jungkook, he was weak. Thin. But always kind-eyed. 

Jungkook was just too easy. 

“Turn me.” He pleaded, soft eyed. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Whatever you ask of me. Turn me. Please…” 

“You’re so stupid for a human, Kookie. Think of what you’re asking of me.” Shit, had you had the choice back then, you would’ve done so much more with your life. Maybe you would’ve gone to college like all the rest of your human friends, however life took a different course. Jungkook was given the choice, you never had. “You could have it all, Jungkookie.” 

Jungkook shook his head. Stupid, stupid human. His heart racing, nevertheless determined for the chnage. His smell was addictive enough, iching to sink your fangs and pierce into the vein that pounced from his neck, pulsing with sweet blood. 

“No.” The human stood firm. “I-I want more. Puh-please. I’m sure of this.” 

“So so stupid.” Taehyung echoed, stepping back, eyes a crimson red. He practically tasted Jungkook’s blood in his mouth from the overwhelming smell of fresh blood pumping within him. He, too, wanted a taste but he was also giving Jungkook the choice. 

“Please.” Jungkook begged, one last time. And how could you say no to those soft, doe-eyes? The pretty human was practically begging for it, his scent teasing your tastebuds. 

You looked back once more at Taehyung, and he nodded, giving you the final call and a form of approval. 

So you gave in. 

—

“Jungkook hasn’t improved, Taehyung. His thirst… it’s gotten worse.”

Taehyung looked up from his phone to catch a glance of your anxious pacing from across the room, then looked back down. “You spoil him too much. That’s why.”

You scoffed, stopping in your tracks. “And you don’t? Don’t act like a fucking saint. All the man has to do is say please and you fold, too.”

Taehyung sighed, shrugging your comment off. “You just have to try harder.” 

“I’m fucking trying, Taehyung. Obviously. He’s not improving as fast as the other newborns. I’m scared of what will happen to him if—”

Taehyung waved his hand. “Stop thinking like that. He’ll be fine. We just have to try a different approach.” 

You blinked, resting your hands above your waist. “What are you suggesting?” 

“Break him. Test his limits. We spoil him too much. Once he sees how much he can actually handle, feeding will become easier.” 

You didn’t say much then, but a realization had settled within you that night. Taehyung was right, it was going to take more than words to get through Jungkook, you had to break him. 

—

Two days later, you decided to test his suggestion, alone. 

“Have you ever been tied up, Jungkook-ah?” You asked the pretty boy patiently sitting at the very edge of your bed. His dark hair had grown out a lot longer than he usually maintained it, yet his face was still bright, as if expecting a treat for being himself. Always so spoiled. 

Jungkook’s brows furrowed, curious about the intent behind your question. “Nuh-uh.”

You towered over him, the younger manspread a spot for you to stand in with an oddly chilling look in his sharp eyes sprinkled with hints of dark red. He couldn’t be hungry, could he? Who were you kidding, he was always hungry. You pushed his hair back gently, his eyes fluttering at the sensation. “Do you trust Noona, Jungkook-ah?”

The boy softly nods his head, his rough hands coming up to caress behind your thighs. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

Tucking a piece of hair behind his ear, you whispered, “I want to try something, but I need you to trust me. Can you do that baby? Mm? You’ll be a good boy, no?”

Jungkook didn’t hesitate in submitting. If there was anyone he listened to, it was you and Taehyung. He knew how to behave and he understood very well the consequences to disobeying. However, you didn’t exactly think he knew what that quite meant, at least not yet and to what extent.

“Yes, Noona. I’ll be good.” Jungkook answered, while you ran your fingers through his hair. He was always down for a good time, or so that’s what he imagined was coming his way. “I’ll be so good for you.”

With a smile on your face, you slowly pushed him backwards, signaling him to push himself further up onto the bed. “Take your clothes off baby. I’ll watch you from here.” 

You stepped off, eyes never leaving him, giving him enough space. 

“Everything?” His lips formed into a small pout, he surely didn’t like doing things on his own. He liked the way you touched him, scratch that, loved. Your skin always so soft against his. 

“Everything.” You confirmed, crossing your arms.

Jungkook took his time. He pulled his shirt off over his head making sure to maintain eye contact. Teasingly, his hand caressed his abs as they went down his body, the smirk on his face did not go unnoticed. He always knew how to put on a show. Next came his pants, he slowly tugged them down revealing his confined hard-on then tossed them to the side. He hesitated when it came down to taking his boxers off. 

“Can’t you do this part?” He pouted, attempting to change the current situation.

God knows you wanted to, but instead you shook your head. “Be good, baby.”

Though his shoulders dropped in disappointment, he accepted his fate. His hands finally landed on the waistband pulling his briefs off, revealing himself little by little until his hardened member sprang out, smacking against his abdomen. Already dripping of precum. A taste sure was tempting. 

Time froze a little bit as you took in the sight in front of you, carefully placing himself at your mercy and for your pleasure. His eyes blinked, curious of what came next. Truthfully, you wanted to crawl onto the bed and give him the best blowjob of his life, but you knew that would teach him nothing. That and Taehyung would be disappointed in both of you. You knew better or at least should.

Well, here goes nothing.

“We will start now. I want you to tell me if it gets too much, okay? Are you okay with the color system? Green means good, yellow means slow down, and red means to completely stop what it is we are doing. Is that okay with you?” You carefully explained. 

Jungkook nodded once more. 

“No, use your words.”

“I understand Noona, I trust you.” 

And trust he did. He didn’t hesitate to lean into the blindfold you placed against his eyes, tightening the silky cloth around his head. 

“Is this okay?” 

The young man looked around for a moment, but saw nothing. He felt much better feeling the presence of your thumb swiping his cheek, an indication he wasn’t alone.

“This is okay.” He murmured, placing his hand on top of yours. “I can’t see a thing.” 

“Okay good. I’ll need your hands now.” 

Immediately, Jungkook set his hands out, giving in completely. He was being honest about never being tied-up before, he could never trust anyone enough to allow that sort of power and control over him. He was a competitive person after all and he, himself, liked having control of everything happening around him, but you knew you were just an exception. 

Grabbing his hands, one by one, you tied both to the headboard, giving him enough room to be able to tug on the rope without hurting himself when it all became too intense, but not enough to actually escape. With one last tug, you made sure he couldn’t get away too easily. Jungkook was stronger than most newborns after all. You couldn’t bear to imagine what would happen to him if he spiraled out of control. 

“S’ this okay?” You asked him softly, stepping off to look at your handy work. 

He nodded, his head tilting as if trying to get a better feel about his surroundings with all his senses hightened. But it all went dark, now every touch and sound was magnified by ten. It was interesting how a person adapted to the world around them regardless of the circumstances. 

“Words, Jungkook-ah.” Once more warning him of the importance of using his words in bed. 

“I’m okay.” He breathed out. His hands tugged lightly on the rope, testing the strength of the knots himself. It turned him on to know you could do anything you’d like to him and he would have to take anything you gave him. He was completely dazed by the rough material around his wrists secretly liking how it felt against his tender skin. He ached to be inside you. To feel inside you. The suspense was nearly driving him insane. 

Jungkook patiently waited as you made your next move. He felt his dick start to make a mess all over his stomach. He used to feel so embarrassed about the fact that he was easily turned on, but with a woman like you, he couldn’t blame himself. He always wanted you. 

He also didn’t know how to explain his attraction to Taehyung. Jungkook had never thought about a man in that way before and maybe it was because he never had the experience of what it was like to be completely ruined by one. Now, he was more than sure, he liked men. But he didn’t want just any man, Taehyung was his strongest desire. 

Jungkook attempted to suppress the moan stuck in his throat when he felt you tighten your fist around his length, pumping him slowly. Your breath tickled against his ear as you leaned up to kiss the mole on his neck.

“Noona will make you feel so good, Jungkookie. But only after you learn to control yourself. Don’t you want to be good, baby?” With every whisper, he felt himself already crumbling. Your hand pumped him faster using his precum as lube. Jungkook didn’t hold back the moan this time. 

“Ngh— y-yes, I want to be so good. I-I’ll be good. More Noona, more.” You could see him fighting the restraints. His chest started rising with every stroke, he was already starting to lose himself within the pleasure.

But you did the complete opposite. Dropping his cock with no mercy, he felt his stomach caving in as you completely stopped all movements. 

Jungkook shook his head, tugging at the constraints. His wrists started to become flush and swollen the more he pulled. “No, please. Puh-please.”

Leaning in, you kissed the pout that had formed on his lips. The second he felt your lips touch his, he didn’t plan to let go. Immediately, his tongue swiped your bottom lip, and you allowed him access. Big mistake. Without much warning, he shoved his tongue inside, establishing dominance over yours frantically. Attempting to pull back only earned you a light tug to your lip which you responded with a faint moan as you fisted his hair. Even tied, Jungkook made it quite obvious what he was after. He wanted more and was making it known. If given the chance he would have taken you right there and then. 

But you managed to pull away with a bite to his lip and a small shove to his chest, while you both attempted to catch your breath. 

It was hard not to lose yourself within the process of what was supposed to be “his punishment”. It started to feel a lot like yours too. Maybe you had also grown spoiled. How could you not? Jungkook always received you so well, and the more he took the more you wanted to give him. 

Jungkook blew out a deep breath, laying his head against the headboard. His dick was painfully hard, weighing against his glistening abdomen. His dark hair started sticking to the sweat piling on his forehead. He looked so pretty, so vulnerable. And all yours.

He was silently suffering, but his agonizing thoughts were incredibly loud. 

Giving him no time to adjust, you wrapped your mouth around the tip of his cock, licking against the slit painfully slow. He always liked when you did that.

Jungkook cursed, feeling you force his dick down your throat. Though he was used to the sight by now, he so desperately wished he could be looking at that view now. You always looked the best with dick in your mouth. “Ughhh, j-just like that. I wish I c-could see how you look right now.”

“Maybe later.” Jungkook seemed satisfied with that answer, raising his hips carefully to meet your mouth. You hummed quietly around his member, sinking your head deeper as you hollowed your cheeks for a greater effect. Jungkook grunted and so suddenly shoved himself further into your throat causing you to gag around him, taken by surprise. You pulled off immediately, watching him curse at himself for losing control.

“No, no, no. Fuck, I’m sorry. Come back, please.” Jungkook begged, but it made no difference. He’d burn the stupid cloth around his eyes and ties around his wrists if he could by now and show you how truly sorry he felt. Make it up to you, if only he could. 

However you didn't budge. 

With a slap to his leaking member, you pulled yourself off the bed, watching him curl and hiss at the impact. Jungkook nearly went feral, feeling you go.

“Please!” He cried out. Now he was really struggling, nearly thrusting up in the air for any sort of attention. If Jungkook thought you would go easy on him because you favored him, he felt completely stupid now. He was absolutely helpless. 

“No.” That one simple word crushed him. He felt he could cry, he was already making a mess all over himself. He was thirsty. He was in pain. He felt so dirty. He needed something, anything.

Jungkook audibly swallowed. “O-okay, please j-just touch me.” He begged, his arms stopped fighting. The more he pulled the more the ropes tightened around his wrists, he started to become sore, weak. He felt tired.

Jungkook couldn’t see a thing you were doing to him nor could he go out of the way to pleasure himself. He had to rely solely on your next move, but even that was tough when you wouldn’t give him what he desperately lusted for. Did you not want to touch him anymore? 

This time you complied, feeling upset about the frown that had set on his face. You wrapped your hand once more around his length, spitting on his swollen crown for some relief, gripping his cock tighter as you jerked your wrist. Using both hands, you applied more pressure on his tip, he immediately responded thrusting into your fists the best he could. 

“Yes, yes, yes, like that. Thank you.” Jungkook’s voice was whiny, sucking in his breath with every stroke. His back arching at the sensation of your fingertips digging into his sticky tip. God, he was going insane. Was he already going to come? “I-I’m–”

“You wanna come, baby?” You asked very sweetly, watching him fall apart in your hands. 

“Mm...” Jungkook barely hummed, his head falling back. He was starting to feel faint. “P-Please, let me come.”

Though it was too soon for your liking, you couldn’t keep him too long without an orgasm. That is like another personal hell to a vampire. It’s simply cruel. “Go ahead, baby.” 

Maybe it was the fact that he was painfully turned on or that he really couldn’t last any longer that made him burst within that same second. Jungkook made such a pretty mess, his sperm dripped all over his blushing stomach, making a shiny milky mess around your fingers until you pumped the very last drop out. 

You let his cock drop once more, bringing your fingers near his mouth. He already knew what to do. He leaned into your hand, moaning at the taste as he lapped his tongue around your fingers, sucking them until they were completely clean.

“What a good boy, Jungkook-ah.” Though faint, he broke into a lazy smile and had those sweet eyes not been shielded, you could imagine the sparkle in them as they got praised. Stroking his sweaty hair back into place, Jungkook sighed, feeling his thirst die down, but only by a little bit. 

That was the thing about Jungkook, no matter how much you gave him, he could always take more. He needed more. This wouldn’t be enough to calm him, this was just a temporary solution. Jungkook was still painfully hard and extremely thirsty.

Pulling away for a minute, you took time to discard your own clothes. You watched as Jungkook’s chest raised up and down as he waited, becoming impatient by the second. Once you were completely bare, you hopped onto his thighs, adjusting yourself just above the mess between his legs.

He immediately buried his face into your neck biting very cautiously, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to feed off you, but he knows it would only go worse for him. He was not allowed to feed off you unless given audible permission, no matter how thirsty he was nor how badly he craved it, which all was often.

With a light tug to his hair, he popped off your neck. “M’ so hungry, Noona.” 

“I’m feeding you now. Patience.” You assured him, but Jungkook wasn’t really up for reassurance anymore. He wanted more and he’d do anything to get it. 

“No. I can’t wait anymore. I need to feed.” Jungkook rasped, feeling his throat sting every swallow. “It h-hurts.”

Gripping his chin, you spoke to him harshly. “I don’t think you understand what’s happening here, Jungkook. You don’t get to feed every time you want, no matter how much you beg. You must learn to control your thirst. I’ve seen newborns cursed with a thirst like yours in the past. None live to tell the story. They kill people like you, Jungkook-ah. I can’t have that be you.” 

Jungkook felt his chest go heavy, his forehead flew up against yours, his nose pecking yours. “No, no, that won’t be me. I can control myself. You believe me, right?” 

He kissed your lips, desperate for you to understand, to have mercy on him.

“I do baby, I do.” Your voice immediately softened, hands caressing his face very tenderly. “Can’t you just listen to me? I promise to feed you. I’m only trying to help you. You understand me, right? We have to build your tolerance.”

Jungkook nodded, almost in a panic state. “Yes. Help me, Noona. Please, I don’t want them to take me from you. I’m so scared. Please…” 

He was cut off by another weight added to the bed, one you hadn’t noticed yourself, you smelled him before you saw him. Taehyung was quick to bury his face against the younger man’s neck, pecking it softly. His presence was so sudden, but it was welcomed. 

“Nothing will ever happen to you, Jungkook-ah. I would never let anyone take you. You don’t have to be scared.” He spoke with much affection resting against his nape. 

Taehyung had nearly torn the door open when he made his way inside, and Jungkook felt he could cry. He understood very well he had two lovers who would never let a single soul hurt him. No one could touch him. He was so loved, he felt it. He didn’t shy away from Taehyung’s kisses either, but instead welcomed them by tilting his neck for more. 

“Hyung-ie… h-help me.” Voice nearly breaking. 

Taehyung looked over at you and you immediately received the signal. You hopped off Jungkook’s thighs and sat beside him, caressing his messy curls back, kissing his tender cheek. “Taehyung will help you now baby. Is this still okay?”

Jungkook felt tears sticking to the cloth. He hadn’t even realized he was crying and he was too overwhelmed with emotion to even care. He was so hungry. “G-Green. Green. Please.” 

Taehyung pounced into action, completely removing his clothes off as quickly as possible before placing himself between Jungkook’s thighs, caressing his inner flesh to calm him. 

“Hyung, will make the pain go away, Jungkook-ah. Focus on me, baby.” Taehyung promised as he began to kiss the deprived young man with gentleness, feeling his teary face lean against his. He kissed him almost as if he would break under his touch, understanding that he was extremely sensitive, vunerable at this given moment. He wanted Jungkook to know with every kiss to his lips how cared for he was, with every swipe to his cheek that nothing could ever harm him. And that, Jungkook was starting to understand very well, the tears clinging to his cheek, leaking down his face. 

Jungkook slowly spread his legs open, allowing for more space. His mouth clinging onto Taehyung’s as relieved sighs left his lips, signaling he wanted more by grinding his bare cock against his thigh. 

Taehyung had never intended on joining and to be honest, he felt he could be of no help, but how could he starve him? He smelled his need, his lust, his desire. How could anyone starve him? How could anyone deprive him of what he so badly needed? Jungkook was just so innocent and out of touch with reality. And at some point, you and Taehyung had become the weak ones. 

“Relax my baby, Hyung will help now.” The older vampire cooed one last time, before dropping down and attaching his mouth to Jungkook’s pretty pink hole. He mercilessly licked and curled his tongue, applying pressure on the younger’s thighs to keep them from closing, devouring him as if he was his last meal. Jungkook nearly jerked off the bed, but Taehyung’s grip managed to keep him down. The Newborn let out so many pretty harmonies, already feeling addicted to the way Taehyung’s tongue lapped his juices deliciously into his mouth. 

“Nghhh. Right there, Hyung. F-Feels so fucking good.” Jungkook moaned loudly, throwing his head back, raising his hips with every sinful lick. Taehyung continued to work his mouth, prying his ass completely open, stuffing his hole with just enough tongue to satisfy him.

You couldn’t torment yourself any longer just by watching so you stuffed your own pussy with two fingers, they slid with ease, synching a moan with Jungkook. Both, completely overwhelmed with so much pleasure. 

Taehyung smiled against Jungkook, realizing what had just occurred. Taehyung knew you far too well. Couldn’t stand a minute without cock stuffing your needy cunt. 

As expected, Jungkook couldn’t bear feeling trapped any longer. With one final, strong tug on the ropes they loosened enough, falling to his sides. He didn’t waste a second to grab a fistful of Taehyung’s locks as he continued to eat him out. You were quite shocked that he hadn’t torn the cloth off his eyes first or managed to somehow destroy the headboard to pieces, but that was most likely due to the fact that he was so lost in pleasure and he was just desperate to come again. Taehyung had been caught by surprise, but continued to thrust his tongue inside him. 

“Fuck, f-fuck, Hyung, ‘M s-so close. Gonna c-come.” Jungkook kept releasing the prettiest whimpers, pulling and tugging at Taehyung’s hair while he reached his second climax. With one last moan, Jungkook came all over himself again, sweat coating his body, prettily. The sight managing to rip an orgasm out of you as well. 

Taehyung finally pulled off, wiping his lips clean with his tongue, his eyes blown out completely, incredibly turned on himself. Jungkook fell back once more, relaxing himself under Taehyung’s hold, attempting to catch his irregular breathing. But the mission hadn’t ended there.

“Keep it on.” Taehyung stopped the very weak Newborn from ripping the blindfold off with a slap to his wrist at the last second. “Hyung will take it off when that time comes. And you, come milk my cock.”

Nearly whimpering at his demand, you settled yourself on top of Taehyung because that is where you belonged. It is the place you felt like a Goddess in, he would worship your body like the Queen you were and it was the only place you could live forever. You believed you were meant for Taehyung and he for you, shaped to fit perfectly inside you. Like you were used to doing, you positioned his cock right above your leaking lips, slowly sitting into the stretch. You held your breath until he was completely inside you, feeling him pulse around you. 

“That’s it baby. Ride me well.” Taehyung grunted, hands positioned right above your waist as the man was helping you adjust, feeling your tight pussy squeeze his length. “Let Jungkookie hear how good this big dick feels inside you.”

Releasing a high pitched moan, you lifted your hips just to smash back down against Taehyung, setting a nice pace. “F-Fuck.”

Jungkook felt a spike of arousal rush to his cock once more, hardening on his stomach. This was torture to him and Taehyung knew that. You both knew that. 

You gasped, feeling Taehyung’s cock brushing your tight walls, filling you entirely, his palms striking your ass with a quick sting. “Let him hear you, baby. Tell Jungkookie how good this feels. Tell him. Such a whore for my cock, tell him baby.” 

Jungkook felt he could come again as he heard you cry out for Taehyung. “Feels so–ahh, good Jungkookie! Feel so full, I’m gonna fuh–fucking come. Ah!” 

“Don't. Not yet.” Taehyung grunted, keeping a tight grip, thrusting from below you to meet your hips. He was completely destroying your insides. Nothing you couldn’t handle. His hips came to a sudden stop and the positions shifted forcing you to face down with your ass up in the air. Though you assumed you would come in contact with the mattress, Jungkook’s chest was there to catch you. He quickly picked up the change and pulled you in closer, caressing your back as Taehyung parted your entrance to align himself and with no hesitation shoved his cock back inside you, stuffing your puffy walls entirely. 

Jungkook felt this was much, much worse because now he could feel you squirm and shiver against his chest, hearing your breathy moans right above his ear. He didn’t know how much more he could take before he completely exploded. 

“Fuck me, fuck, oh fuckkk!” You squealed feeling Taehyung fuck himself into you from behind with no plan to stop. Tightly gripping one cheek he thrusted deeply, setting a brutal pace. 

“Tell him again, baby. Tell him how much you love being fucked from behind. You’re so fucking tight baby, fuck. I should just fill you up right now.” Taehyung moaned and with his other hand grabbed a fist of your hair, fucking you exactly as you liked it. Fucking his little slut how she pleased.

Jungkook hissed, feeling you dig your fingertips into his arms in an attempt to catch a break, but you were so far gone by now. “Mmm, I love it so much. Fuck, puh–please let me come please, I can’t last any longer. Nghhh.”

He cheekily smacked your ass, continuing the brutal pace inside you that would eventually break the knot that had built within your stomach. “Yeah baby? Make a mess on my fucking dick, let Jungkook hear you angel. You feel so fucking good princess.” 

The knot within you had completely exploded the second he finished his last praise, dropping the grip he had on your hair and allowing you to release your orgasm comfortably against Jungkook’s chest, moaning a repeated ‘yes, yes, yes’ into his neck. The Newborn took everything for you, caressing you into a tight hold while you came strongly. 

Taehyung slowed down until he eventually pulled out very carefully, watching your folds drip with your sweet juices. While still panting, you pulled off Jungkook, growing relaxed on the empty spot beside him. 

Although nothing had happened to him, Jungkook was still somehow out of breath himself, still hungry for more. As expected, he was still hard and aching for a final release. But you had no energy for more, completely spent, that’s where Taehyung would come in handy. He could always handle more than you could. 

Taehyung leaned over Jungkook’s heated body, finally releasing the blindfold around his head, welcoming his eyes to the mess that had been created in such a short time. It took some time for Jungkook’s eyes to adjust to his surroundings again, but there it was. 

The only people he desperately wanted, the only people he needed. The only two people he ironically fell deep in love with. His lovers.

Taehyung placed his palm against Jungkook’s cheek affectionately. “You okay, baby? You did so good. I’m so proud of you.” 

Jungkook blinked tears away, his pretty eyes glistened in the sunlight that had sneakily made its way through a crack. “You are? B-But I tore the ropes. And ‘m s-so messy. D-Don’t you hate me?” 

Taehyung immediately shook his head, pushing his nose against the younger’s.  “No, my baby. I could never hate you. None of us. You look prettiest like this, baby. I’m really proud of you.” 

The Newborn leaned in for a passionate kiss which Taehyung granted, feeling so many emotions but for once, he was no longer hyperfixed on the burn that had been longing in his throat, but now satisfied with the warmth he felt within his heart. Jungkook loves so deeply.

With a pop to release Taehyung’s lip, Jungkook begged one last time. “Fuck me please. Just one last time, I promise. M’ s-still hungry.” 

Taehyung smiled. “I know, baby, I know. Get on your knees and face Y/N.” 

The younger man didn’t waste any time hooking an arm over your bare chest and pulling you underneath him almost as if he was gonna fuck you in the process (maybe it was possible, but that would come next time). Though still wet from earlier, Taehyung decided to spit into Jungkook's fluttering hole before easing his hard cock into him. Once Jungkook had adjusted with a muttered ‘move, please’, Taehyung pulled out slowly only to thrust his way back inside. He started fucking Jungkook like he deserved it, fast and precise. He wanted to fuck him until his legs gave out, until Jungkook understood just how proud he was of him. Being able to control your thirst as a newborn was a difficult thing, but Jungkook had proven just how well he could withstand it (even if he was a bit more spoiled than others, that was something only you and Taehyung had to know). 

“Fuck. Ah! Hyung, right there!” This time it was Jungkook throaty moans being heard above your ear as he was being railed mercilessly, repeatedly hitting his sweet spot.

He whimpers, hearing Taehyung’s moans, feeling Taehyung’s dainty hands tighten around Jungkook’s thin waist, thumbs digging into the dimples forming his back. Taehyung could only control his own release so much, he was very close, especially feeling Jungkook’s tight wall squeeze around his length with every stroke. 

Jungkook’s dick was embarrassingly hard and only kept rutting against your thigh as Taehyung made it his mission to fuck him into fucking oblivion. There wasn’t much you could do, but observe the look on Jungkook’s face as he was getting fucked like the good boy he was. Moving a hand down, you took a hold of his cock pumping him roughly. Jungkook felt his lovers everywhere, he never wanted it to end.

“I’m gonna— Ah!” Jungkook broke into sweet gasps, eyes shut, feeling himself make a mess into whatever was left beneath him. He delivered his orgasm all over your hand, his seed decorating your stomach, leaking into the sheets below. The room was filled with the stench of sex. You would argue it had never smelled better.

Taehyung soon came himself and heard Jungkook softly chant to come inside him and that is exactly what he did, filing Jungkook up completely, sperm leaking down his thighs. 

Taehyung swore he had never seen a view this beautiful in between breathless pants. His two lovers, completely spent underneath him, willing to do just anything and everything for him. He had never seen anything prettier, such pretty messes. Taehyung was careful when removing himself from Jungkook, who winced at the empty feeling. It didn’t take long for Taehyung to find his pretty lovers tangled in bed while he carefully wiped them clean with a wet towel. With him, he brought a cup of blood that was to be stored for emergencies. However Taheyung used the supply quite often for his Newborn lover, but who was he to deny his baby of anything he needed? 

Tapping his shoulder gently, Jungkook pushed himself up against the headboard immediately downing the red liquid. 

“Drink it slowly baby, slowly.” Taehyung cooed with a soft– sharp tone, both watching Jungkook swallow every last drop, his pretty lips were tainted red followed with a streak of blood running down his chin. Always such a messy thing. “Ahh– so pretty, my sweet baby.”

“Good boy, Jungkookie.” You whispered.

Jungkook felt himself melt into the sheets with a huge smile, blush setting deep within his soft cheeks. He was finally home. 

-

-

-

That was what it was like most times and it is what set the scene most days. 

Two older vampires admiring their Newborn lover into fitting the lifestyle they had always known. Three lovers who loved deeply and passionately. Three lovers who would always find happiness through each other.

-

-

-

“I love you.” Jungkook whispered, feeling you both beside him, arms wrapping around his thin waist, legs entangling each other’s. “I love you both so much.” 

Taehyung kissed the boy’s cheek while you leaned deeper into Jungkook’s embrace. “We love you more, baby.”

[reggieservices]

Could you maybe do a patrick hocksetter x reader who is as insane as him and he completely doms her in public

I like this prompt :)

Patrick Hockstetter x F! Reader

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

∆ Patrick had a certain....reputation in Derry.

∆ Everyone had heard of him, and everyone was afraid of him. ∆ That was, until a certain y/n moved into town ∆ And jesus Lord have Mercy she was a sight to behold ∆ first day of school, she made herself known ∆ some little punk tried fucking around with her backpack, so she put a lighter to his hair ∆ Now, Patrick wasnt there, but the gossip spread like wildfire (pun intended) ∆ So you can imagine his surprise and delight to finding you in his biology class ∆ Even better, you guys were lab partners

∆ He always enjoyed making people uncomfortable, especially the girls around town

∆ But you? You had no reaction to his words

∆ Not taking ANY of his bullshit

∆ "Hey doll, you looking for a good time? I could rock your world pretty little thing" he'd say with a creepy smile, licking his lips

∆ "Oh I really? Im sure even you dad could fuck me better" you'd respond with the same smile

∆ He'd be lying if he said your snarky responses didnt turn him on

∆. Eventually, He'd tell you that you two were going on a date.

∆ Not ask, tell.

∆ Not having anything better to do, you would accept

∆ It was probably a shitty movie, he just wanted a chance to shove his tongue down your throat.

∆ so once you guys got to the movie theatre he'd put his hand on your thigh, slowly rubbing up and down

∆ trying to get a rise out of you

∆ You guys were in the far back, so no one could see what you guys were doing anyways

∆ fuck it, you think as you move over and start harshly kissing him

∆ he obviously likes it, responding with even more vigor

∆ he's rutting his hips against you, trying to get you to feel his dick through his jeans

∆ instead of giving him what he wants, you'd leave the movie theatre and him with a boner, laughing to yourself

∆ Oh boy is he pissed

∆ No one dismissed Patrick Hockstetter and gets off easy

∆ But he was also incredibly turned on by your actions

∆ No one had ever stood up to him like that, but you still needed to learn your place

∆ The Next time you guys see each other at school he roughly pulls you to the side of the school and starts harshly kissing you

∆ And I mean HARSHLY

∆ Biting, choking, putting his knee inbetween yours

∆ all the while you're softly moaning into his mouth

∆ he likes your noises, and neither of you really care that anyone could see you at anytime

∆ No Suprise, you guys end up dating by the end of the day

∆ in private you guys are constantly battling for dominance, while usually leaves both of you battered and even more riled up than before.

∆ But in Public, he's constantly over you

∆ An arm around your waist, a hand in your back pocket

∆. He'll watch you all the times, constantly looking at your ass and cat calling you

∆ Most of the times, you'll brush it off or tease the hell out of him, but every once and a while you'll do similar things to him or some other boy around school, trying to make him jealous

∆ when this happens, you end up regretting it later

∆ He doesnt care if you didnt mean it, he'll fuck the life out of you and make you beg for more

∆ You might be just as bat shit insane as him, bit he'll still try finding a way to make you submit to him

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

okay okay okay sorry i havent been responding to asks but i have a lot of work going on lately :// but i will slowly but surely work on it, thank you for your patience<3 Reminder that anyone can send me asks!!

~Reggie Services <3

t

[a-jynx]

:0 yall are ACTUALLY insane omg- 1,061 of you guys like my stuff??? im so thankful for you all and i hope my future works get as much love <33

also how should we celebrate 1K?? i genuinely have no thought behind it, so if there's something you guys would want to see lemme know !! without further ado; how the DSMP introduce you on stream; [dream team + others]

~~~~

Dream; - this mf doesn't have a face-cam but he does have a mic, so chat 100% heard you come in laughing about a TikTok - "babe-" - he's never jumped so high or muted himself so quickly, but chat was already flying with questions and you couldn't help but feel relief as you guys had been dating for months and you could keep it a secret for so long... - "do you want to come out about our relationship? i don't want you to be bombarded with questions and shit," "we'd have to tell them sometime, bubs," - after getting your approval, he'd unmute and start to introduce you; "okay, chat, uh... Yes, someone came in, yes they called me babe, and yes i am dating someone - sorry simps - this is Y/N, my partner, and I want you guys to show them love and respect since I love them-" "more than George?" - dream glared at you before rolling his eyes, mumbling "you're an idiot" under his breath - oh, and let's just say you guys were trending for a few days <3

Sapnap; - it was definitely during his shock stream (yes, im holding onto the stream for as long as i live) - he forgot to tell you - which doesn't seem possible, but he was busy trying to get dream to fix up the shock collar - "hey bubs what're you-" - once again he's never jumped that high before but he whipped around and stared at you, as you stared back at him before slowly - trying - to lower your voice - "you're streaming-" "i've been streaming for the past hour - how have you not heard me?!" "i've been gone, dickhead!" his mic definitely picked up all of that and there will be clips all over TikTok, so have fun finding those on your fyp ! - he would pause everything before stepping to the side, holding you and whispering (he remembered to mute) - "do you wanna meet them? i know my chat's already freaking out" "you do have some crazy fans babe.. but what's the harm in getting it done..?" -he brought you over, holding you in his lap, and began to answer all of the questions flying in 'how long have you been dating?' 'did you both move in with dream?' 'do we know them somehow??' a lot of questions that lowkey took over the stream but Sap was thankful - dream was being a dick with the cheap jumpscares - "i think that went well," and would you look at that? trendinggg~

George; - that little door that's always closed?? yeah, you opened it and came from there - you lowkey scared the shit out of him since he just saw it from the corner of his eye - "oh my god, Y/N what the hell-" - ayo this boy would actually yell at you to get out or something, but we both know you won't <3 -"okay, rude, i literally came to ask what you wanted to get for dinner" "yeah, and I'm streaming???" "yeah, i know, i can see that- oh you're streaming..." - you both would just stare at each other and would be so confused on what to do - i mean, they've seen you but like... are you guys ready to put your relationship out there? - George would end the stream, not bothering with a goodbye or anything since this was a big thing for you guys - and after discussing it over some take-out, you guys both posted a couple photos on both of your Twitters :)

Quackity; - o m g; he'd just laugh because you looked terrified but then he'd mute and step aside to hug you - he wouldn't know what to do at first; he obviously comforted you first but he had no real idea of how to approach this since he wanted to keep at least a little bit of his life hidden - would ignore it; donos turned off, any questions in bits he skipped over, and of course any questions in chat he ignored - he wouldn't want to pressure you into showing off your relationship when you both agreed to keep it out of your social media lives - ofc the questions would get a lot and if the fans found your socials, they'd spam you asking - finally, Q posted a photo on his Instagram story with him pressing a long kiss to your cheek with the caption 'mi vida'

Wilbur; - he'd watch you come in from his camera - definitely was too late for him to be streaming </3 - "hello, love bug.. did I wake you?" pls he'd be so sweet about accidentally waking you or something before turning his chair towards you, opening his arms - cradling you close, he'd go back to his stream, ignoring the flying by questions, going back to what the conversation was about until he pressed a few kisses to your hair, rubbing his thumb against your shoulder - "yes, chat, this is my significant other, and you can see they're sleepy, so it's going to be a bit quieter," - would ask for screenshots and clips because a) you'd been wanting a new home screen b) he knew you looked cute c) he wanted to gush about you and now was a perfect time- - "oh, chat, that reminds me of the time Y/N did-" and would tell the story; bragging about you came easy to that simp

Karl; - it 100% would be because you wanted to join </3 - probably during a JackBox game with his friends, and they looked like they were having fun - plus Karl mentioned wanting to come forward with your relationship when he noticed that everyone kept pointing out how all of Mr. Beast crew had significant others - his face would literally go :0 to :D so quickly because he noticed it was you - "baby?? did you need something??" "yeah, i wanna join :((" - his heart would explode because of perfect timing?? - "perfect ! Chat, this is-" he'd paused and pull you into the cameras' view with a giggle and pressing small kisses to your cheek as you laughed as well, slouching into his chest as he tried to read chat "this is my lovely, adorable partner Y/N!! - you'd laugh and wave before he unmuted in-game and announced you were wanting to play, which everyone agreed because you were so sweet?? and your answers were top-notch like omg

~~~~

hello, helloooo~

exciting news, i got a new job !! i went shadowing and paperwork today, so my first official day is Monday, so posts will be a little slower as I am now working full-time! I will try and get more stuff out and I hope it still gets all the love <3

Until tomorrow, I hope you have a beautiful day ~ J

[dr4kenlvr]

liar

pairing: izana kurokawa x gn!reader

genre: angst

request: hii could you do a izana oneshot when he realizes his s/o is in toman? thank you so much!!

a/n: hey anon! i made this piece angsty, since it wasn't specified and that was the vibe i got from this plot, hope that's alright by you <3 + izana and reader are not in a fully established relationship due to the plot, i also got carried away asdfgsdjf

warnings: spoilers from tokyo rev - tenjiku arc manga, angst, reader has feelings but can't pursue them, izana gets used, izana cries, i cry while writing this, etc LMAO.

not once had izana thought he had somebody. a somebody to himself, a somebody to call his, a somebody to care and love for. a somebody that he thought he could rule the world with. izana lived a wretched life brimmed with the mindset that he was alone forever.

the day kakucho had introduced you to him, he felt indifferent. to kakucho, you were a friend, someone he had gotten along with well in school. to izana, you were just another pawn he planned on using to reach the top. a piece of his plan he could easily remove and throw away when needed.

to you, izana was a mystery. a charming man covered in an invisible cloak of secrets and confidence. he practically oozed ambition, and it was your job to unveil him.

you were an addition to toman, a fact that was unbeknownst to kakucho. it had been discussed and concluded that you were to be toman's spy within tenjiku's premises. you needed information. solid, ground information that would make a swift victory for toman in the future. it was simple really, you were one of toman's finest minds. everyone agreed it'd had to be you to do the job. the plan was to persuade kakucho to introduce you to his friends, infiltrate tenjiku, become associates with izana and help toman bring them down. simple— right?

who would've known that what occured between izana and you, couldn't be labelled as pure associates.

you and izana had grown quite close, despite only have met. you had to admit, it did take a generous amount of time to get him to open up to you. but when he did, you were instantly hooked. something about izana caught your attention. he was extremely attentive and intelligent and it resulted in your admiration for the way he led his gang. you couldn't help but compare him to mikey. mikey, toman. you remembered your job, and why you were really here.

it had been a few weeks now, fortunately no one had suspected you of anyone else other than tenjiku's new lackey. however unfortunately, your time here was about to end.

the sun was setting lowly upon the horizon, splashes of orange and pink painted the water below your dangling feet. next to you sat izana, shoulder to shoulder. he didn't know what possessed him to sit so closely, but he was compelled to. quite often the two of you would be found sitting together, either enjoying one another's company or chatting up a small conversation. kakucho liked to tease izana of his fasination with you, saying 'it's rare for you to be so involved with others'. this time, no one had said anything. izana felt the silence between the two of you was relatively comforting.

lately, izana has been feeling different. he couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, but something felt different. was it the way his palms got sweaty when you looked at him? or the way he had to muster up some sense of courage just to talk to you? he didn't know. it was odd, but he liked it. izana took a deep breathe, relishing in whatever this feeling was. he noticed you do the same. he smiled, were you feeling what he was?

exhaling gently, you opened your eyes to the sky above you. the silence was nice, but the sunken pulls on your heart felt otherwise. infiltrating tenjiku was fairly easy, gaining the trust of the top executives proved to be a challenge, but you managed. hell, now you were even sitting next to their leader. the bond between you and izana grew into something much more than you primarily presumed. there were feelings blossoming inside you that should never have sprouted. there were emotions you felt for izana that should never have been perceived. you were toman's ally, not tenjiku's.

then why did it hurt so god damn much whenever izana smiled at you?

you decided something before asking izana to meet you here. since you had gained enough information about the group and izana himself, there was no need for you to stay, and toman needed you back.

"izana." you started.

"hm? what is it?" he responded, violet eyes peering over to you with interest. he wondered what you were gonna tell him, he felt his chest swell with anxiety. nonetheless, he kept a nonchalant face at your hesitation. calm and collected as always.

"i wanted to be the one to let you know," you gulped, "that im apart of toman." you paused, feeling your throat clog up. "im not on your side. and i was sent here to collect data on you and the gang. now that i've got it, i'm no longer needed here." you confessed. your heart refused, but you knew that this is what you had to do.

izana sat still. he didn't respond. he couldn't respond. what was he supposed to say? you.. were apart of toman? as in, mikey's group? and you were a spy for them? izana was bemsued, he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. he felt his eyes water. you hadn't even looked him in the eyes yet, couldn't you at least do that?

you sighed, taking another deep breathe. you turn to him, "it's ti-."

"how could you?!" izana yelled, fumbling up to his feet. you were taken aback by his sudden outburst, then you felt your heart clench at the sight. tears streamed down izana's face, leaving marked evidence of the sadness he felt. "i-i trusted you! you were someone i considered a friend! s-someone who i thought would want me back! and now you go and leave me like i'm nothing but a piece of fucking trash!" he screamed, words fumbling out to no end now. his violet eyes now harsh and rigid at your form below him. the wind howled and clamoured against your bodies.

"you're telling me you used me this entire time? you're.. you're nothing but a liar! a god damned liar!" izana's words screeched at your ears. he panted, harder and harder until it felt like his lungs were going to give out on him. how was it that another person is leaving him? another person doesn't want him back?

you stayed silent. izana sobbed at the look on your face- you're like a stranger to him now. was he always one to you? it's evident you're not looking at him with the same kindness you did before. was it all feigned pity and compassion? he sniffled, before gesturing you to go. "leave y/n. i don't ever want to see you again."

you stand up quietly. the wind roaringly blows past and between you and him one more, before you turn your back against him. your chest aches with pain when you look ahead. you can still hear izana's ragged inhales as you take your first few steps away from him.

"i'm sorry, izana. goodbye."

izana watched as the gap between you and him grew bigger. the view of your back became smaller and smaller as you walked away from his shaking form. a part of him wanted you to turn back once more, to acknowledge him as a person just once more. but you never did.

it was then izana knew, that he was destined to be alone.

[beesmygod]

I want to finish bloodborne so badly because the lore is super interesting, but I'm pathetically bad at video games and after about 20 hours of play time I still couldn't beat the priest. Do you have any lets players you'd recommend watching

it might be hard to get a good playthrough of bloodborne because they're either inevitably going to miss something important or they're the most annoying people in the universe. there's a youtuber i follow named "john wolfe" who typically plays very low budget indie horror games who did a blind run of bloodborne i found REALLY enjoyable. but that was bc i am an old fan watching the new ones get pulled in going "yes....yes!!!"

as for gascoigne, dont feel bad or stressed for not beating him yet. here's some tips to try again with him:

an entirely possible problem is that you might be leveling up the wrong skills for a new player. for your first playthrough, ignore arcane and bloodtinge until you find your first item that has an arcane level minimum to use. they're not necessary items, just fun tools to add to fighting, so i would avoid that for now. bloodtinge allegedly improves your gun damage (and SOME weapons late game/dlc) but unless you're making a special bloodtinge build, you can largely avoid it and power it up using bloodgems (found later). STR and SKL govern your ability to use different kinds of weapons, but both made you deal more damage to enemies. vitality is a VERY good thing for a new player to pump points into. no shame in that. endurance is always, always a good thing to upgrade too if you aren't sure.

gascoigne is the first true stop gap for almost everyone who plays the game. it took me multiple days and restarting the entire game over like 3 times before it clicked: the game is forcing you to learn how to parry. and thank god because it's a vital skill in this game. you will have to play the bloodborne rhythm game: time your shots when their weapon is right about to swing down on you. the best ones are the ones where he jumps at you with the axe over his head, very easy to hit. when you hear the parry sound jump forward and get that visceral attack! visceral attacks will also help refill your health bar.

take advantage of the "rally" mechanic: the one where when you get hit, you can gain HP back. if he bops you, get back on your feet and move TOWARD him and beat his ass to get some of it back so you dont waste a vial. BE AGGRESSIVE! B-E AGGRESSIVE!

you can get 2 hits in. i know you think you can get 3. but you can't. i think i can get 3 every time. i can't. hit him twice and then move in a direction there isn't a gravestone

you can jump INTO some of his attacks if your timing is right. i find when he does the spin wind-up im able to leap into it after his first turn.

and now for the ultimate secret: save all your molotovs for this battle. when he starts going beast mode RUN and get as much distance between you and him (but try not to cut off your access to the stairs on the right since you can kinda loop that by jumping onto the roof where the dead wife is). throw molotovs at him while crying and screaming and running. 2-3 should do the trick. BUT HE IS FAST AND JUMPS HIGH SO WATCH OUT

good luck anon. and remember for the next boss, in the words of beyonce: TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT