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bagels-and-seagulls · 5 years

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you're new enemies to lovers au????? im????????? dying?????? i felt butterflies in my stomach and im like, i want more? how will sara react? when are they going to really talk about things, did matteo knew david is trans before, or even better: matteos pov of everything that happened.

they will have to pry this trope out my cold dead hands.

part one (david’s pov)

-matteo sees him for the first time on a dreary wednesday when the sun is being covered by low hanging clouds and the second he leaves his house, he thinks maybe he should have brought an umbrella. the boy, the boy, is leaving the front office with his eyes glued to a piece of paper, only occasionally looking up at door numbers to see where he was. and matteo knows that he’s never seen him around before because he would have remembered someone who looked like that.

-a week later he sees the boy hanging out with sara and leonie and thinks it’s a pity. he would have liked to get to know him a little bit, at least his name. it probably won’t happen now, he thinks.

-luigi, i’m worried about you. you’ve been weird ever since the thing with sara, jonas tried for the hundredth time since it all went down. it makes something itchy bloom down matteo’s spine, and he hunches his head low between his shoulders and turns away, even though jonas tried to grab his arm to stop him. i don’t want to talk about this right now, he says and rushes away, ignoring the aching feeling between his ribs at the idea of his friend being disappointed in him.

-he doesn’t notice him is the thing, the boy that he’s been thinking about for weeks now. david, he learned. he doesn’t notice him because he’s too busy running away from talking about his feelings, and his anxieties, and the way that he feels like everyone has been staring at him for a month now, waiting for him to do something a little outrageous, have a breakdown in the middle of the cafeteria maybe. he doesn’t notice and ends up ramming his shoulder straight into the side of the boy. matteo doesn’t even look up until he hears the thump of textbooks on the floor.

-leonie hisses something at him, and all he can think about is the way her voice sounded that night at the party when she was loud and cruel and told everyone- the boy is staring at him with wide eyes, holding onto sara’s arm to keep her upright. she looks equally outraged at the whole thing, looking down at her books that traveled a yard or two away from her when they skid out of her hands. sara says something, calls him a name that he didn’t really hear, and matteo shakes his head, squeezes his eyes shut to stop seeing the mean twists of their mouths from that night weeks ago. whatever, he says and rushes out the door to just get some fresh air.

-matteo thinks that the new boy must be an asshole if he hangs out with mean girls who like to screw people over in their free time. he thinks about hanna, and amira, and ignores the way that he can still hear the way sara’s voice sounded like when she called him gay in front of their entire grade and leonie laughed behind her.

-matteo is early to biology one day and breathes a little deep when he finds the classroom empty. he decides to take a seat by where amira usually sits instead of the back corner near the door. a new leaf, he tells himself and slouches low in his seat to wait for people to file in. a figure comes into his peripheral, and matteo decides to ignore it. that’s my seat, someone says, and matteo looks up to see david standing there, pulling on his backpack strap. he stares for a second, trying to decide if this guy was serious right now, if he really wanted to do this because matteo honestly didn’t have the energy for it, to fight with the new guy about something stupid and mundane. but david keeps standing there, waiting for matteo to do something, and it makes something a little bit angry in matteo spring up. he hangs out with the queen bees for a couple weeks and feels so fucking entitled already, matteo stews. there aren’t assigned seats, he says and looks back forward, over it. david goes to sputter something out, but the teacher interrupts him at the beginning of class. and matteo feels a little bit satisfied when he has to sit by the smelly guy he never remembers the name of.

-the next class, the teacher tells everyone that they’re getting paired together for some presentation, and before he even is able to look over in amira’s direction, the teacher calls his and david’s names together and tells them to do something about the respiratory system.

-that night, matteo’s dad calls him after he went to go visit his mother only for her neighbor to tell him that she was checked into the clinic last night when they heard her screaming for hours about the end of the world. his dad calls and says he heard something from a friend of a friend of a neighbor or someone. he says that he shouldn’t tell mama that he likes boys because it will stress her out, and matteo has to clinch his fingers into his fists or he’s going to start throwing things. matteo tries to hold his tongue and not ask why he cares, not tell him he doesn’t even know what stresses her out, not scream that he should mind his own business if wanted to fuck off to another country.

-david asks him to meet in the library after school one day, and matteo agrees. he’s grabbing his textbook out of his locker when jonas comes up to him and tells him he looks like shit. matteo spits out thanks, and jonas tries to backtrack that he didn’t mean it like that. matteo tells him he has to go, he’s meeting a classmate about a project. he walks into the library a few minutes late, and realizes when he gets to the table david is at that he didn’t even get his textbook.

-matteo is trying to pay attention, trying to focus on what david is saying, thinking that maybe if he just looked at david long enough he would check back into reality. but all he can think about is the way that his father sounded on the phone, the way that jonas sounds whenever he asks him if he’s okay with that sad little smile that says he knows the answer, the way his own voice pitched up when he was screaming at carlos and abdi to back the fuck off when they were making jokes in the hallway last week. his throat feels a little bit like it’s closing up, and the freckle above david’s eye starts moving around his forehead like it was swimming around his skin. matteo feels like he’s going to vomit by the time he says, i gotta go, because he’s a little worried that he’s going to pass out, that he’s going to suffocate himself with the pressure in his head crawling down his throat.

-he stays home for three days, ignoring his father’s calls and voicemails that say that they still have something to finish. matteo smokes half a baggie by the time hans calls jonas in to kick him in the ass and get him out of his room. they end up going to park. and matteo’s vision is a little fuzzy, but jonas looks like he’s going to cry. matteo, just talk to me please, he asks, and matteo tells him everything. he tells him how it felt when sara spit out his biggest secret to everyone he knew, how he had to watch and stare and let her do it, how he feels like a walking shell since then and people are trying to fill him up with their own ideas, how his dad hates everything about him, enough to move away, how he feels guilty that he moved away from mama but the idea of staying in that house made him feel like he was going to die. he spills his guts right out onto the grass until he feels a little bit hollow inside, and jonas just pulls him close by his shoulders and tells him that he didn’t know. matteo stays home another two days, waiting for his insides to find their way back.

-the day he goes back to school, david comes up to him, looking like he’s ready to spit fire, and shoves notecards right into his chest. matteo caught them, and david hisses out, stick to the script and we’ll do fine, no thanks to you. matteo didn’t even remember that they had the presentation with everything that was going on. he would have helped, he swears. he would have at least tried.

-they get an okay grade, and matteo thinks that at least he gave david a real reason to hate him instead of third string gossip.

-he starts to hear his name comes out of people’s mouths again, and it makes him want to shove his head between his knees and rock himself back and forth until it all went away. jonas pulls him away from all of it, tells him to ignore it, and it helps. matteo tells himself to not listen. he mostly succeeds.

-the boys take him to a gay club with hans that weekend in a weird form of solidarity, and somehow, some way, they end up meeting the girls at kareoke bar later. sam starts talking about all of the hot boys in their grade, and abdi pouts and walks away to thrid wheel with carlos and kiki on the dance floor. sam gets to david’s name, and matteo’s drunken self agrees with her wholeheartedly. what? he slurs when she looks at him funny. i’m just surprised, she shrugs. why? he’s got a nice smile, matteo says, not that he was looking. i heard you two didn’t like each other, she explains. i got nothing against him, matteo replies. he’s cute, he adds and tries to ignore the fact that it’s the first time he admitted to liking a dude out loud.

-he should have realized that sam had a big mouth when drunk. i dare you to, kiss matteo! she squeals to david with glee evident in her voice. she winks at him from behind david’s back over dramatically, and he rolls his eyes. he watches as david takes a drink of his beer. he turns towards matteo then and levels him a look that says he’s a little bored with that idea, and matteo has to agree just a little bit, that this was predictable in a bad way. he shrugs, because they were only going to tease them more if they didn’t do it, and because he can’t help but feel a certain way with leonie and sara glaring at him out the corner of his eye.

-matteo holds his breath when david grabbed the back of his neck to reel him in, and he thinks he blacks out for the first half of it because somewhere along the line, david’s tongue pushes into his mouth. and matteo wants to curl his fingers into his hair and let him bite his lip because his toes are tingling a little bit, but instead he pulls back a little slow and a lot overwhelmed. david’s eyes are lit up like he’s got something to be proud of, and matteo feels the heat of him for the rest of the night.

-a couple weeks later, matteo is trying to escape the unrelenting base of some shitty pop song on the balcony of some random house party, smoking a cigarette and enjoying the quiet for a little bit. david ends up stumbling out there when he’s halfway done and stops to look at him for a minute. na? he asks when he shakes himself out of it. na, he repeats. they stand there for another minute, just looking at each other, and matteo thinks that he feels something build up in the back of his neck, something warm and heavy. and he kind of hopes that david is feeling the same things. he thinks he must by the way there’s a little bit of heat in his eyes. matteo takes another drag and then offers it out to david. david slides himself closer just to shake his head, and matteo finishes it off with david looking at his lips the whole time.

-david ends up backing him into the railing and the sting of the brass makes matteo press his thumbs hard into his hips when david ends up sucking on his tongue. he ends up with a hickey on his collarbone and the weight of david’s eyes on the back of his neck.

-they run into each other. often and quite publicly. and while they don’t say to each other in the hallways, or in the park, or in street, they end up locked into strangers’ bathrooms together and up on roofs and down in alleys just to feel the heat of someone else’s hands on their skin. they don’t go far, not far at all. their clothes stay on, and matteo tries only once to feel the skin under david’s shirt only for him to push them away and squeeze onto his wrists as he licks up his neck.

-they do it enough for matteo to know that david likes to bite, likes to leave marks at the same time he leaves matteo breathless. he likes to kiss matteo sweet before he drawls a little blood, and he always tugs on matteo’s hair when he wants to use his tongue. they do it enough to know that david always looks at him a little bit like he’s already missing him whenever he goes back to the party, and matteo’s throat always sticks when he tries to stop him, tries to tell him that he would be okay with it if david wanted to say hi if they passed each other in school.

-one dreary wednesday with the clouds hanging low, matteo remembers that he forgot his umbrella again at the same time his phone chirps with a new message. he opens up a video that makes him feel a little bit sick to his stomach and like he’s got deja vu.

-where does david live? matteo asks sara as he muscles up the courage to go and confront her. what’s it to you? she spits back. just leave him alone, she says. tell me, he demands, and gets in her face, and finally feels that anger hit him in gut at their whole falling out a season too late. he just got outed. i know what that’s like, he says with a little too much venom. she looks guilty over it, and matteo feels a little vindicated finally.

-a suspicious looking girl in a bathrobe opens the door and asks him who he is. matteo doesn’t know if he’s david’s friend, so he just says, matteo, in a small voice that’s just begging to be let in. something like recognition flickers in her face and she points out a door down the hall, and says, watch yourself, like she means it. matteo walks up to the door, looking slightly over his shoulder.

-david opens the door with his eyes rimmed red and his hair sticking up in every direction. he looks surprised, but not in a bad way. and matteo feels like he has to say something, standing there with his backpack still hung over his shoulder. i’m not going to ask you something stupid like if you’re okay, he says quietly because that question always bothered the shit out of him. david just looks at him a little longer and sniffles, and matteo bites his lip, thinking he might have made a wrong move by coming here. this really sucks, david says after another minute, i didn’t want it to be like this.

-matteo spends the night. he curls up behind david in his bed and holds his hands and tries not to breathe too hard on the back of his neck. it feels so easy, fitting like this, and matteo thinks that they could have done this the whole time.

-in the middle of the night, david turns around and pushes matteo back by a hand on his chest to kiss him hard on the mouth. wait, matteo says. david, wait, and he pushes david back by a palm on his collarbone. i get it, david says and sounds a little sad, if you don’t want to do this anymore because of the-. matteo shakes his head and cuts him off, i just don’t want you to think i came over for that, he says. i know what it’s like- to be outed. i didn’t want to be alone. i thought you wouldn’t either.

-matteo stays the whole weekend, and they laugh over bad movies and laura’s singing in the kitchen. and matteo can’t help but think how easy this all is.

-they go to school on monday, holding hands like they were something, and matteo let’s david take the lead, let’s him stand in front of the school doors for a few minutes before he takes a deep breath and pulls them in. matteo sends him funny pictures all day to try and make sure he knows he’s not alone.

#guess whos back #back again #its the #enemies to lovers au #davenzi #my writing #other aus

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