#thank you I've been trying to break out of this cycle of wanting to do something

[holidayinhell]

Interview

CWs: references to noncon, violence

1. Would you rather - Rope or Chains?

R: Rope.

W: Chains, dear god, chains any day. Ropes fucking burn.

2. If Whumpee had multiple Whumpers, who is their favourite? For Whumpers, which Whumpee was your favourite?

R: Yeah, I’ve got a favorite. A couple years back I had a Whumpee who fought me at every turn. He'd throw his food at me, cuss me out, and try to attack me. One time he scratched absolute shit outta my arms. Anyways, I got tired of his shitty attitude and decided to kill him. I didn't keep it a secret, I told him he was gonna die. But when I went in to do it, he changed completely. No more screaming, no spark in his eye. He got quiet. Heh, he got all lovey dovey with me even. You know, lots of people say they’ll do anything if only you’ll spare their life. I never did cash in on that promise, but on this Whumpee, I put it to the fucking test. Heh. He let me do whatever I wanted to him. Depraved, horrible things, that would make the most degenerate man blush. Heh, and even though he was crying through most of it, he still pretended to like everything I did to him. And god. You should’ve seen his eyes when I told him I was still gonna kill him. That look. I think about it still.

W: I can’t. glances over at Whumper. Next question please.

3: In your opinion, what is the best way to train a pet?

R: Humans are fickle fucking beasts. You have to break down someone’s pride in order to train them. I start off with food deprivation, that usually helps me gauge what kind of fight I’m in for.

W: Positive reinforcement has always worked for me… I’ve only ever had a pet bearded dragon though.

4: Broken ribs or bullet wound? 

R: Both.

W: These questions are uncomfortable to answer. But, uh, bullet wound I guess. Assuming it didn’t graze any organs.

5: Preferred type of gag? 

R: I like a fabric gag. Or a simple piece of duct tape. Sometimes they come off and I get to squeeze a little scream out of Whumpee, and then I put a fresh one right back on. I kinda like the cycle of it.

W: I don’t have a preference… none? I guess the metal bit one isn't the worst of them. It hurts my teeth but at least I can still kinda breathe.

6: Burned or stabbed?

R: Stabbed.

W: Stabbed, I guess?

7: Favourite stress position? 

R: An old-fashioned hogtie. I guess I’m unimaginative but I don’t get too crazy into the BDSM shit. Who has the patience for that?

W: Uhh.. just, handcuffs behind my back. Something relatively comfortable.

8: Have you given or received any Brands? What do they signify?

R: Heh. No. Never been branded. I certainly have had my fun branding Whumpee though.

W: I… have two… Uhm. One on my chest that, thank Christ, is almost all the way healed. It said, uh, swine. The other one is on my back, it’s a lot worse. I don’t know what it says but I can feel it so it’s um, it’s here to stay, I guess.

R: It says Nice Try. Remember?

W: Not really.

R: From your second half-hearted escape attempt. Didn't realize you forgot. But I did hit you pretty fucking hard that night.

9: Broken arm or broken leg? 

R: Leg.

W: Arm. A million times, arm.

10: How did you get here? Why are you the way that you are?

R: I live here. Far as I know, I’ve always been 'like this'-- whatever the hell that means. And I don’t see a problem with it. We’re all free to do as we like, so that’s what I fucking do.

W: I dunno. I, I was outside, it was dark and I think it was raining…yeah… heading home from the bar. I didn’t drink that much. I didn’t live that far, either, so the rain wasn’t a problem. I remember falling down and then… I woke up here. And I’ve been here ever since.

11: What is your biggest regret?

R: I wish this Whumpee could’ve learned a thing or two from my defiant Whumpee in the second question you asked. I wanna get my dick sucked like that every fucking night.

W: Regrets... yeah, I've got a few. One stands out. It was late at night, Whumper didn't tie me up. I snuck out of my cell and I made it to the steps. Almost to the top, nearly all the way out. The door was unlocked and cracked open a little, I thought I could make a run for it and—

R: —I was waiting for you at the top. Heh. I wanted to see if you'd run, and you sure tried to. Not so much after that, though.

12: Is there a line you won’t cross? For Whumpee, what do you most fear Whumper might do?

R: A line I wouldn’t cross? Uhhh…. No. No, I don’t think so. I’ll cross any fucking line. turns to Whumpee, grinning. So what are you afraid of, Whumpee?

W: I, um. Does he really have to be here when I answer these questions?

R: Tell them, Whumpee.

W: Can I whisper it to you? (he’s already done so much to me, so fucking much… it’s dumb but I don’t want him to shave my head.)

R: smirks. You know I heard that.

13: What lessons have you taken away from your experience?

R: Everything has been the same old, same old for me. Guess this Whumpee’s lasted longer than the rest of ‘em. He’s coming up on a year soon. Kind of impressive he’s stuck around this long and hasn’t given me a reason to kill him yet.

W: I don’t know. I do what I’m told so I can eat. I take it day by day. I guess the lesson I’ve learned is that abandoning pride is the only way to survive…

14: Whip or cane?

R: Whip.

W: Yeah. Whip.

R: Didn’t expect you to say that. Noted.

15: Drugged or coherent?

R: Depends on the situation. Drugging them is useful for transport but I don’t much like it when they’re too dazed to understand what’s happening. Sometimes they fall asleep, too.

W: Drug me any fucking day. I don’t care. I’ll take whatever you have.

16: What are your true, honest feelings about each other? Is there some part of you that cares for the other at all?

R: Sometimes I like to touch him. He’s warm and it’s funny when he tries to squirm away. Plus I like it when he begs me to stop. But do I care about him? …eh. Sure, sorta. He’s my plaything.

W: Erm. Thanks, I guess. For me… Whumper is the reason I’m here. I guess I’m appreciative for the food… but he does hurt me. A lot. Constantly.

R: You're very welcome.

17: What is your favourite thing about the other? A personality trait, a physical feature, anything

R: He’s got pretty hair. A kind of pretty face, too. Yeah, almost like a girl. Heh. And he makes good sounds when he’s screaming.

W: Ah. Fuck. I really don’t know how to answer this…

R: Come on. What’s your favorite part?

W: Um. Well, I'll say this: Whumper is smart. Scary smart. I don’t think anyone would ever imagine how smart. I don’t know. I don’t. It’s… terrifying.

18: Do you have relationships outside of each other? Friends, family - if yes, do they know about Whumpee? Do they care?

R: Yes, yes, and no.

W: I have a half sister in, uh, Arkansas. We’re not close, obviously… used to have friends I guess, but it’s been a long time since I saw them…

19: What other hobbies do/did you have?

R: Video games. 

W: I used to play saxophone. A lifetime ago.

20: For Whumper, is there any chance you’ll let Whumpee go? For Whumpee, have you ever thought about life after you’re free?

R: No. Sorry. Realistically, it doesn’t make sense to ‘let him go.’

W: I, uh, I used to think about it. I don't anymore… like he said.. realistically it doesn’t make any sense.

R: Mm. Good answer, Whumpee.

------------------------

this interview uses the questions from Character Ask Game post by @inhurtandincomfort !! thanks homie!

((more Whump))

[eternalstretchofmuses]

“Why I am here? Just because I take care of that Red Fox means I’m going to get along with this Finnish sky fox?” The tired zookeeper breaks the forth wall to complain after appearing in front of Aurora. “I’ve got food…” she offers

"WHO THE FUC-" Before she can even finish her (vulgar) exclamation, the temptation of food immediately strikes. It's not every day a stranger just shows up like this... and it's not every day said stranger offers food. Her eyes sparkle, tails wagging. It's been a bit since she last ate properly, so she's quite hungry. "Ya got food...? What kind? Oh, do you have anything spicy!?" She approaches this new stranger, a little suspiciously close... begging with large eyes like a sad dog. "Anna se minulle...! Please...?" This, of course, is likely fox trickery of some kind. Or is it...?

[mynameismad]

What have I been up to?????

Hey all! I'm sure you're all cycling rapidly through the stages of grief like I am, but I thought I'd just check in and let everyone know what's going on with me and when they can expect more comics!

GOOD NEWS: I got a concept art job! I've been working freelance for a client for about two months now and things are going great! Honestly working on short assignments with weekly deadlines has been an amazing break from the slow, constant march of longform comics. I am surprising myself every day and haven't been this excited to learn and grow as an artist in a very long time. Moving forward, I would like to find a full time job in games and stay there, rather than continuing to hustle full-time in comics. I've paused my Patreon for the foreseeable future.

THAT BEING SAID: I will always be making comics!!!!!! I love them a lot, they've been good to me, and I have all these ideas in my head that NEED to be let out. I want to start making them in my own time, rather than as my main source of income. We'll see how long it takes to find true stability in concept (maybe never, lol) but in the meantime I will keep drawing my silly little guys and posting them online for everyone to see. I have to! I have to keep going and making the art I want to see in the world! We have to keep going!!!!

SAKANA: hoping to get back to the fish boys sooner rather than later. I've been stuck on whether to end the latest chapter right away or get a few more pages in there. We're moving into a HEAVY part of the plot, which will be trickier to write, so I've been procrastinating lol. Please don't take my extended absence as proof that I'm walking away from the story: I've just been busy with a new job and I don't know exactly how to get to the next chapter yet!! (also, jsyk, the Webtoon mirror is something I was doing for fun! not a priority!!)

RR: I actually have a few different projects started for RR! Chapter 2 is like 9 pages in, but then I paused and started work on a 20ish page minicomic, which is like 7 pages in. I'm going to finish the mini first and hopefully upload it to itch.io. For Chapter 2, I created this really elaborate environment in an effort to force myself to learn Blender, but then I got a job....so I have no time to learn Blender lol. Still trying to figure out whether to simplify or push forward.

OTHER: yeah...I am a comic artist at heart so obviously I have a million things I want to do. But SAKANA and RR are the highest priority right now!

UPCOMING: I am pursuing other freelance work for shorter, more manageable projects! If you need somebody to redline all your thumbnails, critique the first draft of your synopsis, or make a 20-40 page comic, please keep me in mind!

In closing: I'm locking my twitter accounts tonight and moving away from the platform for now. I'll be here, Instagram (@/mad_rupert), and BlueSky (@/madrupert). Thanks for sticking with me, let's hold onto and support each other in the coming weeks, months, and years! Let's keep going!!!!! I love you all so much!!!

[gguk-n]

Safe Haven (Carlos Sainz x Reader)

Thank you for the 200 followers. I'm having a lot of fun writing. Hope you guys enjoy this celebration post!!

Summary- Meeting Carlos was the best thing to happen to you.

{Reader's POV}

Ever since Carlos and I had gone public with our relationship; all the people I had avoided informing of our relationship had found out from the news. It was hard to miss when the world like to talk about who the girl was hanging on to one of the hottest F1 driver was.

The one person I had avoided telling about my relationship with Carlos the most was my own mother. Our relationship was always a tough one; she never could accept my choices or decisions. I've lost a lot of partners because of her. Either she would convince me or them that we weren't meant to be; and the next day I was crying on the bathroom floor.

I met Carlos after a particularly bad break up where the guy cheated on me because my mother said I was cheating on him and he should get me back. I really loved him but I felt like the stars had aligned when I met Carlos at the Real Madrid match I was dragged to by my roommate who was tired of watching me mope. The match wasn't very memorable but the guy I was sat next to was. I didn't know he was some formula one driver; all I knew was he was some hot Spanish guy who's voice made a shiver run down my spine. We exchanged numbers at the end of the night and stayed in touch for a while before we could meet up for a date. The date was beautiful and magical just like the fairytales.

We'd been dating for almost 2 years when I finally agreed to go to one of his races. I had moved out from the town that held me back and far far away from my mother. I felt like I was invincible at this point. I guess I forgot what she was capable of. The moment my face was plastered all over the news, my phone wouldn't stop ringing. I was scared. Carlos didn't know the extent of my hurt and why I avoided my mother.

Until a few days after the race, Carlos was out cycling with his friends and I was busy making cookies when I heard the door ring. Thinking it was Carlos, I opened the door; only to be met with the one person I was trying to run away from. "What are you doing here?" I asked, a tremble in my voice. "I heard you got yourself a rich and famous boyfriend. Won't you introduce me to him?" she asked while trying to look behind me. I tried to close the door but she was strong and walked right in. "Can't believe you actually found someone, gullible enough" she sneered taking the whole house in. My hands were shaking and there was a lump in my throat. "The house is big and looks expensive. You must be giving him a good reason to keep you around." she jeered. "Can you leave?" I asked, unsure of anything. "I could but then I wouldn't get to meet this boyfriend of yours, now would I" she replied taking a seat on the couch.

"Why are you here?" I asked, finally finding some strength. "Isn't it obvious? You got rich and famous and forgot your poor old mother who raised you?" she said solemnly. If I didn't know better, I would've been fooled. She leaned back on the sofa, "Come sit darling. It's your house after all" she said, patting the space next to her. I quietly took my place on the sofa next to hers. "I'm hurt. I see you after years and this is the kind of welcome I get" she sighed. "What do you want, now?" I asked more boldly. "I don't get what he sees in you" she started avoiding my question. "You're not pretty or petite like those models, or have money or fame that you can offer. Must be the sex. Am I right?" she asked. I was disgusted at what she said. "Good thing you learned how to please a man. The previous one had to find solace in another woman's arms because of you" she tsked. "He wouldn't have, if you hadn't lied" I spat. "I was only looking out for him" she smiled. "Carlos won't want you around once I'm done talking" she smirked. "He's different, he loves me." I cried out. "Oh dear, all men are the same. They'll leave for a better thing any day." she replied.

As if on queue, I heard the door open and Carlos called out, "Carino, I'm back and I have your favourite cheesecake from that shop you love." I sat there with bated breath. The moment he came in view, I quickly strode towards him. He had placed the cake in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a quick peck. I turned towards my mother and introduced him to her. "Babe, this is my mother. Mom, this is my boyfriend, Carlos." I said. Carlos sensed my unease with my posture to the way I was shaking slightly. He placed a hand on the small of my back and raised his hand to shake my mother's. "Nice to meet. Mrs Y/L/N. I've heard so much about you" he said. "Sadly, I haven't. You'd think that after you grow, birth and raise a child they'd care about you at least. But she left me to rot" she fake cried; the crocodile tears ready to fall. My heart was beating out of my chest. I felt weak and a part of me was scared that what if he listened to my mother and then what. "Mom, you should go, we have somewhere to be." I said, standing my ground. "What a shame? I was hoping to have lunch with you. Carlos, sweetheart, if she ever troubles you; give her a good beating, she's quite docile. I've let her loose and look at the trouble she is causing us both." she said, shaking her head. I felt like throwing up. Carlos was shocked, "Why would I hit her?" he asked. "It's ok darling, all righteous men hit their wives to keep them in line. I mean if you'll make this whore your wife that is" she snickered. "Y/N isn't a whore and I do plan on making her my wife" he replied disgusted at what my mother said.

"I would like it if you would stop disrespecting my girlfriend and leave right now." he asked politely. "Where would the fun be, if I left?" she asked. "Please leave before I call the police" he said sternly. I was shaking violently at this point, all those memories, resurfacing. Thankfully Carlos was able to get her to leave. When he came back after locking the door, I crashed in his arms. "Are you ok, hermosa?" he whispered. I started to cry, "Please don't leave me. I don't know what I'll do without you. I love you so much" I cried out in one breath, holding his shirt tightly. "I will never leave you, hermosa" he replied now carrying me to the sofa. We sat down in each others embrace while I cried my heart out. His shirt wet from all the sweat and my tears.

After I had calmed down, "I didn't know it was this bad" he whispered. "She's the reason my last boyfriend cheated on me" I mumbled. "Well, he was stupid. Good he left. That way I found you." he said while smiling. I finally smiled at him for the first time since my mother came. "Don't listen to anything she says. She doesn't know me, she doesn't know us. I love you so much and I would never let anything happen to you" he comforted. I gave him a hug, burying my face in his neck. He placed me on the sofa before getting up to go to our room. I thought he was going to get changed but instead he came back with something in his hand. "I had elaborate plans that my sisters were helping me in. But this is a better time then any." He said, while getting on one knee. My hands were on my mouth. "I love you since the day I first saw you at the Real Madrid match. I'm so happy that we were sat next to each other. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honour by marrying me?" he stated. "Yes" I croaked out, giving him my left hand. He got up and kissed me. "I'll make sure no one can hurt you ever again. Not even your mother" he said giving me a kiss again. I smiled into the kiss wrapping my arms around him, knowing I was finally safe. "My sisters are gonna kill me, I asked them to plan such an elaborate proposal" he laughed. "I think they'll understand" I said, smiling at him. "Yeah, they love you more than they love me anyways" he chuckled. I was happy I thought while looking at the ring on my finger.

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

[russellsppttemplates]

I'm with you all the way (Mick Schumacher)

Baby Aurora is ready to make her entrance to the world

Note: english is not my first language. this is another long piece that I hope you enjoy (I've had this one planned for a bit and I'm so happy I'm finally publishing it)! Also, of you're looking for more pieces of dad!Mick, I also have some pieces on my masterlist where they become a family of four and some other moments too! (You can read the latest one here!)

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: pregnancy and childbirth

Your night routine, especially when Mick was home, had turned into a ritual that he would not do without. Like so, you were laying on the bed already, having done your skincare and brushed your teeth, your loose pyjama top resting just under your boobs while Mick also got ready.

Grabbing the bottle of bump oil, he dosed the right amount on this hands and spread the product on your skin, "you know, today was the last day at the factory before winter break, and everyone was hoping you'd pay them a visit as soon as it was possible. And you got some gifts too, we now have a few team onesies for you, and they also said they would get a pair of headphones ready for when you attend your first race", he smiled kissing the skin above your belly button, "I'm sure that's going to be an eventful day", you chipped in. This routine had been pretty early on and it always allowed Mick to feel closer to his babygirl. He would usually tell her all about his day, random thoughts he had and discussions you would have about certain topics, "did you feel okay today?", he asked, laying his head near your bump but looking up at you, "yes, I mean, at this stage there's always a degree of discomfort, but I've been okay. Spent most of the day changing a few things around and I also cooked a big batch of food to put in the freezer", you added, brushing his blond hairs with your fingers.

You think you managed to sleep about four hours until you were woken up from the pain on your hips and your lower back. They were once than cramps but still tolerable, yet they were keeping you from sleeping all way through the night. They became a lot more frequent, around forty minutes between each of them, leaving you like you were standing on a tightrope: you'd be woken up from the pressure, it would relieve and you'd do your best to fall asleep, only to be woken up by the pressure again and repeat the cycle.

By the time morning rolled around, Mick woke up at his regular hour, turning to face you, "good morning, liebling", he croaked out, his hand landing on your bump with soft strokes, "morning, my love", you yawned, "I did not sleep all that well, I think I might cut out of watching you work out today", you apologised, "it's okay. Take sometime to rest, yeah?", he cuddled you for a little, "but what happened?".

Appreciating the way his body heat was feeling against your skin, you snuggled further into him, fingers tracing shapes on his chest, "I have this pressure on my hips and lower back, I don't even know if they're contractions. In my head, it makes sense that I would feel those in my belly, right? Because of how the baby is coming out? I don't know, I just know I barely slept", you pouted, feeling Mick's lips on your forehead, "maybe it's just some Braxton-Hick contractions", he mumbled, moving his hand to soothe the areas you had complained about.

When you got up to use the toilet in hopes of going back to bed when you noticed some blood, making you finish your business and meet Mick in the home gym, "I thought you were going to sleep? Are you alright?", he wondered, not expecting to see you there, "I had a tiny bit of blood on my underwear and I have just texted my OB about it, maybe it is my mucous plug? And those were in fact real contractions, so maybe there's that", you told him, "but I feel fine, like any other day, Rora has kicked and everything, no now we just wait", you finished, grabbing a comfy chair you had in the gym for the purpose of sitting while your husband worked out. A lovely view, one might had.

"What did she say?", Mick questioned as he set the weight back on the stand, having heard the notification on your phone going off, "she is advising that we go to the hospital to get checked out, and that she'll call me later", you read, setting your phone down, "so maybe after this, we have breakfast and then you pack the rest of your things?", you suggested, earning a nod from Mick, "I can finish now, there's no need to-", your husband began tidying up, "no need for that. I'm feeling fine, genuinely. And, besides, you were just going to do some squats, right? Mama wants to see that", you giggled, tapping his butt when he walked past you, shaking his head from side to side at your comment.

Despite the initial hurry Mick felt, you were able to do things like you normally would, commenting many times how you actually felt pretty okay and if you should really go to the emergency room, "better be safe than sorry, liebling", Mick offered as he finished putting the last things on his hospital bag, "I'm packed, do you need me to get you anything from upstairs?", he asked one last time before he went upstairs to get the phone chargers.

When you go the hospital, you went straight to the CTG room where they would monitor the contractions and the baby's heartrate, talking to Mick and every healthcare professional that walked in time to time just to check that everything was okay, "is it painful?", your husband asked, "a little bit of pain comes whenever I feel the pressure, but other than that, it's the same as any day", you explained, squeezing his hand that was holding yours.

When the doctor on call looked at the paper that was coming out of the machine, she decided to do an observational exam, "your cervix is still in a posterior position, and it's closed still. You are in early labour, yes, and you did very well in coming here today, but this is going to take a few days. You've only had two contractions while you were here as well. So maybe next week something should occur", she smiled.

"Is there anything we can do now?", Mick asked, a little bit more relieved that everything was fine, "just take this time to rest", she offered, bidding you goodbye as you, too, made your way back home.

Back home, you and Mick spent the afternoon in the sofa, only getting up when you needed the bathroom or when you wanted to eat or drink water, Angie cuddled up next to you. While the pain remained at the same tolerable level, it was around dinner time that you began to feel it around every 20 minutes.

The night had proven to be even harder. If you had only slept a little bit the previous night, tonight you couldn't sleep at all. The contractions were coming along every four to ten minutes, and the pain had increased significantly. You went to sleep at ten at night, given your tiredness, and now three hours later, you were past the point of not wanting to bother Mick, "Mick, my love, wake up please", you called, shaking his body softly and firmly at the same time, seeing him open his eyes, "what's wrong?", he croaked out, "I can't sleep because the pain just got a lot lot worse, and I don't think I can be here. And I'm probably in labour", you muttered between another contraction, "let's go then", he said, getting up and helping you up too, putting on something a little more decent other than pyjama shorts and a sleeping gown for you.

The bags had ready been in the car from your trip this morning, making Mick only grab the chargers and head out with you, "Angie, mama is going to the hospital, and by the looks of it, your sister will be home soon", you held the dog's snout on your hands before kissing her, almost noticing weariness in her eyes, after all, her humans were not usually up at this time of the day. "Shall we go then?", Mick asked, guiding you to the car after petting the dog's head.

Driving to the hospital was fine, your body recoiling a little bit whenever you felt another contraction, "we're nearly there, liebling", your husband conforted, his hand squeezing yours on top of your thigh. Sensing his worry, you looked to calm him down a little, "Hey,", you squeezed him hand back , "So far everything is good, and we're finally gonna meet this little lady. So until we have to, let's not worry, okay?", you finished as he parked near the entrance of the hospital, "I can walk from here".

Mick flashed you his dashing smile, leaving his side and going around the car to help you out once he put on the backpack and slung the other bag over his shoulder, "Let's go then", he said, somehow managing to lock the car and support your lower back, along with the bags, along to the door.

Your midwife, Caroline, was already waiting for you at the entrance, "I was just going to ask if you needed help, but you look like you're just fine!", the older women exclaimed once she saw Mick, "perks of being an athete, I guess", he chuckled nervously, "where do we sign in?", he asked once he sat you in one of the wheelchairs as comfortable as you could be.

"Hi liebling, how are you handling it?", he asked as soon as he walked inside the room after filling in all the paperwork, seeing you already in a hospital gown and your OB typing things on her iPad, "I'm good, they're getting stronger, but I'm handling it, I think", you smiled, happy to have him back with you. "Hi, everyone. Sorry, I just came in and didn't even greet everyone", he blushed, "That's okay, don't worry. Like I said to Y/N, she is 4 fingers dilated, so this little one is coming out today", she smiled, "if you need anything, please call someone, okay?", she said before herself and the rest of the team eventually left you two in the room.

"I hate seeing you like this", Mick mumbled against your skin, kissing your sweaty forehead, "it's part of the job, but yes, if there was a way I could give you some of this discomfort, I would give you since you're offering", you said back, chuckling a little before groaning at another contraction, opening your eyes when it finished when you noticed two yoga balls, "I want to go on the ball, I want to try it", you pointed, your husband promptly helping you to do so and grabbing the second one so he could sit and be at your eye level, "I love you, Y/N", he said once he got comfortable, holding your hands in his as you rocked your hips from side to side, "I love you too, so much, Mick. We're finally going to meet our babygirl", you said, "we are, my love. And it's all because of you", he recognised, gulping when he saw you bracing yourself for another contraction, "it took the two of us to do the deed", you attempted to pull a smile out of him, failing by a small margin as only the corners of his lips lifted up and smiled a tight lipped one, "yet you're the one-", he attempted but you shushed him, "None of that. You're being amazing, and I would like some kisses and I don't fancy them if they're not from you", you smirked, seeing him smile a genuine one this time.

Later, you wanted to move to the bed as the tiredness began washing over your body. If this was what happened after two sleepless night, the newborn phase was going to be interesting to go through.

"Here, careful, I'll call someone, yes?", Mick said, the crease between his eyebrows back on his handsome face. The room door opened and Caroline walked in, "how are we doing, Y/N?", she asked softly, approaching you, "I'm okay-ish, they're picking up now, like a lot", you mentioned, "Mick was just about to call someone", you yelped.

"It's 5 am, so you could be going along well. Let me check you, please", she urged, helping you scoot down down on the bed, "okay, you're about 8 to 9 fingers dilated, good job Y/N!".

"You're doing so well, liebling", he mumbled against your skin, "I'm going to check with the OB, but looking how this is going, you should expect to be wheeled into the birthing room in an hour or so", she smiled, typing the new informations on her iPad before leaving you two.

You opened your arms, your husband taking the hint immediately and sitting on the edge of the be, one leg next to your while the other supported him on the floor, his hands soothing your pains around your hips and back area, "does your bump hurt?", he asked as he scattered a few kissed everywhere he could reach, "I don't think I can tell apart the areas where it hurts, it's just my whole torso", you said and immediately regretted it, sensing his tension grow at his helplessness, "but your hands are doing a good job at distracting me, and I appreciate that a lot", you soothed him, hopefully, the feel of his fingers and his scent calming your own body despite everything that was going on.

Between shared affections, words of encouragement and even a video call from Corinna, the time came for you to be wheeled into the birthing room, doctors and nurses ready to.

Your body was urging you to push and you complied. Holding Mick's hand, he helped your support your torso when your strenght was giving out, "C'mon, Y/N, you're doing an incredible job!", Caroline urged you while Mick mumbled into your ear, "a few more pushes and Aurora will be here with us", he encouraged, "you're doing so well, my love, I'm amazed at you".

It took you three big pushes until your baby girl was out in the world. Leaning back against the pillow, you felt Mick kiss the side of your head until your senses focused on the new noise, a high pitch scream from your daughter, "she's here, Y/N, congratulations mama and papa", Caroline said as she placed the baby on your chest.

A head full of blond hair, the softest of chubby cheeks ever and eyes wide open just taking in the world around her, quietly calming down as soon as she felt your skin on her. You briefly looked at Mick and, like you, tears were running down his face as he kept caressing your shoulders and whispering praises and "thank you"s on your ear, his finger coming up to touch his daughter's soft cheek.

"Look at her, she's so tiny", you whispered, kissing the top of her head and looking at your husband again, kissing his lips chastely while the medical team waited for you to deliver the placenta, checking if everything was going like it was supposed to.

After a few minutes of admiring her, Caroline approached you, "you're all set, Y/N, everything looks good and it should heal nicely. Now, we need to take this little lady to check everything with her, okay?", she asked as one of the nurses held out her arms, making your extend your own so she could grab her.

Mick looked at you like you hung the moon and the stars just for him on a regular basis, but at that moment, it was more than that. You gave him the start of his own family, a little girl who had captured his heart the moment you told him you were expecting and new opportunities to form memories.

"I love you so much. Thank you for not letting me give up", you whispered and you kissed his hand that was caressing your cheek and brushing the hairs out of your eyes, "You've made me a father, there's, again, no words to thank you for that".

Seeing your husband holding the baby your love created really was a whole thing. Hormones were flying around since you had given birth, and now back in the room, watchinh your husband being the most attentive ever to your little girl was the last drop. While Caroline checked your vitals and made sure everything was healing nicely, you couldn't stop looking at Mick walking around with Aurora tucked into his chest, his hands holding her against him while he spoke soflty, "and after Opa Michael, there's Oma Corinna, she has been so excited since she knew you were coming, she's going to be enamoured of you, I just know it. I think she's making her way here, actually", he smiled as he turned to you, seeinh you nod, "they're going to spoil you so much, little one", he said before placing a kiss on top of his daughter's head.

"Do you want to do some skin to skin with her? Babies enjoy it a lot, especially when they're this young", Caroline pointed out.

There, that was the last straw, "sure!", Mick said enthusiastically, settling the baby on your chest so he could take his shirt off, "there we go", Caroline helped him place his hands around her small body. And that was a sight you would happily watch all day, every single day, making you grab your phone so you could save the moment forever, "you're both very enamoured with your little one, as expected, so I'm going to leave you. Call if you need anything", Caroline excused herself.

"You know, I'm very happy that she's here safe and sound, but I'm also very happy that my body is preventing me from having another kid right away because right now it sounds great, even though my rational self also knows it would be crazy, doable, but crazy", you mused, looking at Mick and seeing him watch you, "and as I was saying, because mama seems to have forgotten that there are little ears in the room, me and mama are sure to love on you any moment of your life, that is a promise we've made long ago and that we intend to keep forever", he gulped, looking back at you to kiss your forehead, "rest up a little bit, liebling, me and Rora are going to catch up".

[jigujellee]

EMERGENCY CONTACT -> you’re only supposed to call when you want each other, but what happens when she calls you because she needs you? (part 1: lead the way)

jennie x reader smut, fluff, angst - a triple threat >:) word count: 2.7k warnings: swearing, slight stalking moment

a/n: helloooo! happy new year again to everyone :D i know some of you have been waiting for this to drop, so i hope you enjoy it! as usual, it's not proofread so i'm sorry for any mistakes you may come across while reading. i'm also sorry if this is rusty, i've had writer's block for so long and it's only starting to get a little bit better,, but anw i love you all and remember to take care of yourselves!

the sound of wet kisses and quiet whimpers are the only things heard within the walls of jennie’s bedroom.

“fuck y/n, just like that” jennie moans as her hands get tangled in your hair, trying to push you even closer to her dripping wet core. you lap your tongue along the length of her slit causing the raven haired girl to arch her back.

“oh god! i’m so close baby, please don’t stop”

-

after reaching her orgasm and allowing her to return the favour, the two of you lay together in her bed trying to catch your breaths before jennie starts to giggle.

“what’s so funny miss kim?”

“nothing, it’s just that i’ll always be amazed by the way you fuck me y/n”

you turn over to face her and pull her closer to you, smiling as you two fall asleep together.

you don’t recall explicitly stating the terms and conditions of your “relationship”, for lack of a better word. after the first night you and jennie hooked up, she began calling you up in the late hours of the night saying she needed to “destress from work”, obviously meaning she needed the stress fucked out of her. you eventually started to do the same once midterm season was slowly approaching, and that’s how this whole thing started really. to an outsider, this was a simple friends with benefits situation but you didn’t really call like calling it that. to be quite honest, you didn’t know what to call this; you’re just satisfied with it.

but you felt a change and you didn’t like where it was going.

the last few times you’ve slept with jennie went as they usually do - you two meet up, have dinner, take a stroll somewhere and then eagerly rush to one of your places to have sex. then in the morning, whoever wakes up first makes breakfast (you’ve been to each other’s places enough times to know where everything is) and then one of you leaves until the cycle continues again. it was almost a routine at this point, so you start to question when you notice jennie trying to break it.

your suspicions started when you woke up to her staring at you. not so much in a creepy manner, but more so like she was adoring you as you slept. when your eyes open and they meet hers, a smile slowly grows as her somewhat hoarse voice (from all the screaming yk) manages to let out a soft “good morning.” you look into her eyes momentarily, noticing a glint of something that wasn’t there before but you ignore it. “morning,” you say as you get up and make way for the bathroom, not looking back to notice a sulking jennie.

then you noticed how she snuggles into your neck and places a soft kiss just below your jawline, whispering a “thank you” before drifting off to sleep. jennie has only recently been thanking you for having sex with her, and with you being the slight overthinker that you are, you believe that her “thank you” may have a slightly different meaning; something that she knows she doesn't want to admit yet.

today, you noticed how she begged to stay even after breakfast.

“what’s the rush? i don’t have work today and you don’t have classes”

“come on, we always do this jen, you know time’s up after breakfast”

“well, i wanna change it up today. why don’t we go do something fun?”

“like?”

“take me on a date,” she casually says, causing you to nearly choke on your almost finished coffee.

“a date? why?”

“it’s just a way for us to bond”

“is bonding in bed not enough?”

“oh come on y/n, it’s just a fun little date”

you sigh in defeat, watching as your opponent hops off the couch in glee to get dressed, but not before planting a kiss on your cheek.

“thank you,” she says, almost lovingly. you say nothing in return and just proceed to your room to get ready for this “date.”

-

“how much longer?” you yell from outside the dressing room. unfortunately for you, the term “date” to jennie just meant going shopping with her.

“someone’s eager to see me,” the girl smirks as she pulls the curtain back to reveal her in a simple yet elegant black dress.

“help me zip up please?” jennie’s back is towards you and you can’t help but stare hungrily at the bare skin. as you grab the zipper, you slowly pull it up to close the dress but your intrusive thoughts came over you and you begin leaving soft kisses on her back before you could zip it up completely. jennie sighs at the feeling of your lips on her skin. as you move up closer to her neck, you feel her arm wrap around the back of your neck. nibbling softly on the lobe of her ear, you whisper, “why don’t i just unzip this dress and take you right here, right now?” but as much as she wanted it, jennie stops your movements and turns to face you.

“i want a day without sex, y/n”

“huh? why, did you get your period or something?”

“no, i just want to enjoy this day without having to end it with sex like we always do”

your suspicions began to rise again. though you meet up with her every so often for your little fuck buddy system, you two rarely saw each other outside of that simply because of school and work. so for her to be asking for a day to just be with you without the sex makes you wonder why? and for what reason?

still, you decide to go along with it and see where it takes you. you leave the store without the black dress and start walking around the mall by jennie’s side. your left hand was in your pant pocket while you let your right hand swing in the air. when you feel jennie brush her hand against yours, you don’t move your hand for a moment to see if she tries to hold it. and you were right; she slowly tries to interlock your hands together, but you move your hand away and offer to carry her bags instead. this continued for the rest of your time at the mall together, her movements varying from trying to hold your hand or link arms with you, or even trying to snuggle up against you when you bumped into a classmate of yours. anything she tried to initiate, you would shut it down immediately.

on the way to your car, it was silent. you felt something brewing in the air and it didn’t feel good. so as you drive her home, you attempt to lighten the mood.

“damn miss kim, you have so many bags in the back, i can barely see in my rear view mirror”

dead silence.

“i honestly thought you were gonna buy the whole mall back there,” you quickly glance at her to find her staring out the window.

“alright, what’s wrong jennie? why the silent treatment?”

“is sex the only thing you want from me?” she asked, annoyed but her gaze never leaves the window.

“what are you talking about?”

“i know you know. i’m not stupid and neither are you. but is this really all you want out of this? out of us?”

“what ‘us’ are you talking about jen? this is just those things where we casually fuck”

“oh, so it really is just that. i’m just someone you call when you’re horny, that’s it”

“don’t act like you didn't start it!” you raise your voice slightly.

“that’s what it was before i fell in love with you! did you really think that we could pull this off without one of us catching feelings?”

“you seemed like the type, so yes i did”

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you pull into the driveway of jennie’s house and shut the engine off. you unbuckle your seatbelt and try to leave the car to go help with her bags, but jennie grabs you by the arm to keep you in your seat.

“i’m gonna ask you again y/n, is sex the only thing you want from me?”

you look at her in the eyes and you watch the tears form in them. this setup was dangerous from the start, but you really tried to keep things casual with her.

“yes. this was supposed to be just sex, and you fucked it up for us”

before you could even say anything else, she unbuckles her own seatbelt and gets out of your car without forgetting to slam the door. she grabs her bags from the trunk and also closes it with a slam. you didn’t even bother to help because you knew she’d reject it, and there was nothing you could do but watch as she angrily marches toward the entrance of her house that you used to be welcome in, until now.

-

the internet says it takes roughly 21 days to break a habit. for some people, it could be more and for some, it could be less. but for you and jennie, the routine you two shared managed to be broken in just one second with one sentence.

it’s 3:14am, you can’t sleep and you know you’ll wake up with dark circles under your eyes. still, you lay in bed and stare blankly at the ceiling as you wonder what the fuck was wrong with you.

thinking back to when you two first hooked up, there were no rules or terms and conditions to your situation with jennie. nothing was put in place, no one said that you couldn’t fall in love with each other, so why did you penalize her for it? you had no clue. maybe you were just a natural asshole. or were you just scared?

you can’t deny the fact that there were times you entertained the idea of being in a relationship with jennie. but yes, it did scare you - jennie is a well-known model and has an image to uphold, so what would the public think if they found out you, a broke college student, would be dating her? you’ve imagined the kind of comments you’d get from netizens and you wondered what kind of questions paparazzi would throw towards jennie: “jennie! is it true? are you dating an average college student?” “is it because you feel bad?” “do you pity the girl?” “does she want you for the money?”

it haunts you. you couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason jennie’s image gets ruined.

to try and soothe your brain, you pick up your phone to play some lofi music in hopes to fall asleep. your thumb hovers over a song before seeing a name flash on the top of the screen.

miss kim <3 is calling

you let it ring a couple of times before answering,

“jennie?”

“y/n, hi i’m so sorry but um,” her voice is shaky, as if she was about to cry or if she was scared. you didn’t like either of those options.

“y/n i think i’m being followed. can you please come get me?”

“send your location, i’ll be there as soon as i can”

seeing that she was only a 10 minute walk away, you sprint to where she is and you find her standing in front of a light post in the park. as you approach her, you notice a figure standing near a bench, and a light suddenly illuminates from what looks like his phone; it seems as if he was checking it as if he wasn’t following jennie just now. he definitely noticed your presence but he waits to see if you’d leave her alone.

you whisper to jennie, “are you alright? did he hurt you?”

“i’m okay, he didn’t touch me. but if you didn’t come, i don’t know what he could’ve done. is he still there?”

your eyes glance up and you see the man still standing in the same spot, still looking at his phone.

“yeah, but i have an idea. i just hope it’ll work”

you wait for a moment and you watch his eyes come up from his phone, glances at you and jennie, and then turns to look in the opposite direction. you take this chance to quickly hide into a bush behind you, and you slowly crawl towards the man near the bench. when you’re close enough, you rustle the bushes to get his attention and you watch him get startled by the sudden movement. to add on, you start barking and growling like a dog which made you feel stupid, but it was convincing enough to make him run the opposite way from jennie.

she walks towards you, or the bush rather, and calls for you - “he’s gone now, you can come out now little guy”

“little guy my ass," you say as you dust yourself off of any dirt. "but i honestly didn’t think that would work. do you really think it was convincing?”

“yup, you were a real bitch back there y/n”

“touché”

jennie giggles, “but really, thank you. i’m sorry you were the one i called, i just didn’t know who else would come at this time and you’re the first person in my emergency contacts.”

you say nothing. you simply stare at her, admiring her features that make her who she is. you’re glad you’re her emergency contact. not her manager, not her friends, not even her family; it’s you.

you reach out your hand, "why don't you stay the night? and you can stay as long as you need to”

-

jennie sits at the dinner table, watching as you prepare breakfast for the two of you. you insisted she just sit back and relax after what happened last night.

“i’m fine y/n, i could’ve helped you cook”

“it’s alright, you must be tired and hungry”

you place down her plate that was filled with two pancakes, two sunny side up eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit on the side. you set yours down and take a seat, excited to dig in after hearing your stomach growl.

it’s silent for the most part. you don’t want to bring up last night’s events, and you figured jennie must’ve wanted some peace and quiet.

“so y/n..”

well, so much for peace and quiet. you looked up at her in response.

“can we talk? about us?”

“actually yes, we should”

jennie clenches her knife and fork, bracing herself for the worst that could happen.

“jen, i gotta be honest with you. i was just scared of falling in love with you. you know, you have this image you need to maintain and i just didn’t want to be the reason it gets tarnished. i refused to fall in love because i didn’t want any of us to get hurt in the long run”

she says nothing and just pokes at a blueberry, rolling it around the plate.

“however,” you pause slightly for dramatic effect.

“i realized that it was stupid of me to stop myself from falling. and it was also stupid of me to pretend that you weren’t falling. and i realized that i really love the idea of being your emergency contact”

jennie still says quiet, but now she manages to look at you with hope in her eyes.

“basically what i’m saying is that i want to give us a try. not just for the sex, not just this whole thing we got going on, i want the real deal with you. i know for a fact i won’t be perfect, we definitely won't be perfect. but for you i’m willing to try. because it’s you jen; i choose you.”

a gummy smile makes its way on jennie’s face, the events of the night long forgotten. at last, she feels seen and loved by you, the only person she’s ever wanted to feel loved by and the only person she’s willing to risk her image for.

“alright ash ketchum, let me help you with the dishes”

“damn, way to ruin a moment miss kim” you joke, as you follow your soon-to-be girlfriend to the sink.

[peaceloveandf1]

Regret Me- CS55

summary: To say that you and Carlos have a toxic relationship would be an understatement. The constant back and forth has finally forced you two to break up for the 3rd time. And this time it’s for good. Or is it?

pairing: Carlos Sainz x reader

rating: R for smut ;)

…………………………………..

“Lo siento. No quise decir nena. Sabes que te amo. Lo siento”, his voice plays through the speaker of my phone again for the third time.

This cycle of fighting, fucking, apologies, and breaking up seemed never ending when it came to Carlos and I. We could never make it last. We’d say that we are breaking up for good but like a moth to a flame we’d get drawn back in. I told him that this time was different. And I meant it.

“Fuck him. he’s just trying to get in your head.” My best friend Claudia said, snatching my phone and deleting Carlos’ message. “We’re going out tonight. Dan and the boys want us at Jimmy’z.”

“Claudia, I don’t know. Carlos will probably be there” I try to reason with her. Not wanting to run into Carlos at the club tonight.

“All the more reason to go. You know Daniel wants to fuck you. Make Carlos feel like shit… the way he makes you feel” she argued.

“No no. I’m being the bigger person.” I attempt to reason with her.

“Well I already told him we were going so get something picked out” she said, getting up and flipping through my dresses before selecting a tight black one that would have any guy on their knees.

“That one definitely” I say, my confidence coming back and grabbing a pair of pink platforms.

“The car will be here in 10.” Claudia said before going to the bathroom.

……………………………………………………….

Claudia and I down 3 shots before getting into our car, and by the time we arrived at the popular Monaco club I’m definitely tipsy.

“names?” The security guard asks as we strut to the door.

“They’re with me man.” A voice flows from the darkness behind him.

The body connected to the voice emerges and it belonged to none other than Daniel Ricciardo.

“Danny!" my voice comes out, flirtier than expected.

"Hey baby, long time no see" He smirks, pulling me into a hug before Claudia.

To say that the club was crowded would be an understatement. As we walked in, my jaw dropped. I've been to Jimmy'z so many times before but with the Grand Prix this weekend it was more packed than I've ever seen. Daniel led us through the crowd toward the VIP section, where a number of Daniel's friends are sat.

Thankfully, Carlos was not one of the Formula One drivers sat at Daniel's table.

"Hi you guys" I try to say over the music.

"Hi y/n, how are you?" Lando Norris' voice floated over to me.

"I'm doing good. Are you ready for the race?" I ask him, meeting his hug as he walked closer.

"I am. Are you coming? I wasn't sure about it because of...well you know?" He said, trying to avoid saying the name of his former team mate.

"No, uh-" I began.

"She'll be there. With Redbull though." Daniel finished my sentence for me.

"Uh- Yeah I'll be there. I'll make sure I stop by Mclaren before the race." I say to Lando.

"hey. you want to grab a drink" Daniel whispers to me.

"yes please" I giggle as he leads me away.

"y/n, you look absolutely stunning." He says to me after ordering our drinks.

"Thanks Daniel. You look hot as always" I feel my cheeks heat at his compliment and so I compliment him back.

"I always try to look my best for you" He says, winking at me. "but, I have to ask. What's going on with you and Carlos?"

"ugh. Just the usually. We fuck and then fight and he can't commit and then gets mad at me. I told him I'm done." I huff in annoyance.

"I'm saying this to you as a friend, y/n. Carlos loves you. But he doesn't deserve you."

"And who does?"

"I can think of a few. Come dance"

....................................................................................................

Daniel and I had been dancing for multiple songs and I can feel someone's eyes on me. I turn in Daniel's arms and lock eyes with none other than Carlos Sainz. If looks could kill, Daniel would have be more than six feet under.

I merely smirk and quirk my eyebrow at him before continuing to grind on Daniel. His fingers were digging into my hips but my attention was still on Carlos.

After two more songs of suggestive dancing, Carlos sauntered over to the two of us.

"Hey man, can I steal y/n for a second." He asked, his voice surprisingly calm.

"Um.. Yea sure man" He said to Carlos before turning to me, "Come find me when you're done. I think Lando wants to do something with us and Claudia."

"I will. This won't take long" I say to him as Carlos takes hold of my arm.

....................................................................................................

Carlos essentially dragged me to the bathroom by my arm, cutting everyone in line, and slamming the door behind us.

"What the hell was that, huh?" He demanded, steam was practically coming out of his ears.

"What was what, Carlos? Dancing with a friend?" I say innocently, knowing my intentions were anything but that.

"Oh nena, we both know that it was not friendly. You were practically fucking him" He seethed.

"Maybe I was going to. Until you interrupted us, to do what exactly? ¿Lloriquear como un bebé?" I fire back at him. Now it was my turn to be angry.

"Don't act like he'd fuck you as good as me." He growls, stalking towards me.

"Oh he wouldn't? Cause I think he would. Have you seen him?" I gasp as I back into the wall of the bathroom.

"No, baby, I don't think he could. I know your body way too well" He says, his hand brushing my thigh.

"prove it." My voice coming out no louder than a whisper.

That did it for him.

And so the cycle started again when his lips enclosed mine. To say that his kiss was aggressive would be an understatement. The anger he had for me and Daniel all came out with this kiss. Carlos's hands were cemented to the wall on either side of the bathroom wall. I let his tongue slip past my lips and take full control. My hands flew to his hair as one hand squeezed my throat and the other slipped under the hem of my dress.

"Carlos.. please" I whimpered as his fingers slipped past my panties.

"Qué amor, qué necesitas" He whispers, fingers toying with my clit.

"Tú Carlos, te necesito" I moan out, fingers flying to his hair.

I flip us around and fall to my knees in front of him, his mouth open is surprise. My hands find the zipper to his pants and yank them down with his boxers. Biting my lip, I gaze up at him through my lashes. One thing I can always do is make Carlos fall apart with that look.

As I settle on my knees, I spit on my hand and begin to stroke him slowly. His moans fill my ears as I finally take him in my mouth. Carlos's hands tangle themselves in my hair, pulling it away from my face. As I bob my head, I lock eyes with him again. He is trying to hold himself back from fucking my mouth, not that he hasn't done that before. But before he lost control, the grip on my hair tightened. He gently pulls me off of him and pulls me up to his level.

"I love your mouth....but I need to be in you, amor" He growled, turning me to face the mirror and pushing me over the bathroom counter.

He slips a condom on and I feel him line himself up. A moan escapes my lips and he pushes himself inside me. He begins to move and his pace is relentless. Carlos was never gentle but this was more rough than before. My name slips past his lips and he continues to thrust into me. His hand minds my hair again and pulls me up.

"Look at yourself, putita. You think Daniel can make you feel like this" He growled in my ear.

I stare at myself and him in the mirror and simply moan as he keeps up the pace he's set.

"I said look at yourself, y/n" He says, grabbing my chin with his other hand.

"No no, he couldn't Carlos" I gasp, the pleasure and pain mixing to form a deadly combination.

His hand left my chin and found purchase on my clit again. With his hand on me and him in me, I began to feel a familiar tightness beginning to takeover my body.

"Oh Carlos" I moan out, "I'm close"

"Let go." He commands, his hand moving faster.

I come with a loud moan, my mouth hung open in pleasure, no sound coming out. Carlos keeps thrusting before I feel his hips stutter and he cums after me.

"Ay, fuck y/n. You're perfect" He groans, pulling out and helping me clean up.

"You fuck good Carlos but we aren't getting back together." I hiss at him before stalking out of the bathroom, leaving him standing there.

[joobywooby]

HI hi! I saw you wanted XH suggestions and omg I'm honestly dying for two things and feel free to do either, both, or none!

A fluff of Jooyeon being cute and silly with you when you were down and depressed, and eventually it ends in bed cuddles and sweet kisses~

Ooorrr...

A O.de smut where Seungmin was so frustrated with work, you offer to listen to him but things end up spicy between you and him, especially after you offer for him to take his frustrations out on you...

a/n: Hi again honey! I do plan on writing the Jooyeon prompt for this ask but rest assured I'll be writing the seungmin on probably on Monday for you too! Thank you so much for checking up on me the other day too and I hope you like this <3 Love you so much! also I kinda changed a few things, so this one isn't really that silly, but I hope this comfort fic makes you happy when you read it.

taglist: @mon2sunjinsuver

Turn that frown upside down

Fluff, slight angst, comfort

Lee Jooyeon x Reader

A Jar of pickles. Something as simple as that was all it took for the dam to break.

This week had been especially tough. Normally, you could handle it, leaving all of the stress at work to help settle your nerves, but this time, nothing seemed to be going right. You had failed to meet your deadlines due to trying to juggle too many things at once,while also trying to get in even just a few hours of sleeping before getting up to repeat the cycle all over again.

However, you'd been trying everything and anything to hide how exhausted you were from Jooyeon. You knew he had been working overtime,too, as well as endless shows and schedules that had him falling into bed into instant sleep before he could even get into his pyjamas.

So, when the two of you finally had a mutual day off, you were bound and determined to find something to do to take your mind off of the constant stressors. So, you decided to make a snack tray, filling it up with all of the things the both of you loved before settling down to start a show the both of you had added to your watch later list.

Reaching into the cabinet for the unopened jar of mini pickles, your elbow bumps into it, resulting in the jar falling off of the shelf, glass and the contents of the container spilling into the floor anywhere it could reach. Out of pure frustration and instincts, you can't help but tear up, cheeks heating up and hands going to hide your face as you lose it, kneeling on the floor and releasing all of your pent up emotions.

You're so lost in your head you jump upon feeling a warm palm at the small of your back, helping you up off of the floor. "Baby what happened? Are you hurt? Here let me look at your knees", Jooyeon is so gentle, genuine concern in his eyes and his voice as he examines your legs, checking for any cuts of scrapes from the shattered glass.

"I-i'm okay. Just, just dropped something in the floor", you sniffle, wiping your eyes and your nose, avoiding his gaze. "Then why are you crying so hard,babe? Talk to me", his lips graze your forehead, holding you close to him as he waited for you to be ready.

"I've just been under so much stress at work, and nothing's been going well, at all. I just didn't want to worry you with my problems because I know you've been working so much and it's not fair", your voice is small, and he feels his heart break at your words.

"My love, It doesn't matter how stressed and tired I am from work. I'll never push your problems aside because I love you, I'm always here, okay? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon either. Turn that frown upside down,okay?", he giggles, pressing a kiss to both of your cheeks before reach down, grabbing you by the backs of your thighs before lifting you up into his arms, carrying you sweetly and gently to your shared bedroom, lips never leaving yours. The mess can always be cleaned up later, he had more important things to tend to.

[jlfletcher]

All I Really Want Is You

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader

Warnings: bullet wounds, mentions of potential death (no one dies, just a small injury during a mission). This is told in 3rd person limited POV (of Miguel, mostly?). One-sided kind of. Reader can speak Spanish (is that considered a warning?).

Summary: This is how it all began for Miguel. From mere coincidence to something more. (Fluff/Romance)

Excerpt: "He realizes something and it’s inarguable in his mind... Out of all the Spiders, you’re the anomaly."

A/N: This narrative is actually repurposed from my friend's spidersona story. It didn't have any romance in it originally but my version does and the more I wrote, the more it diverged from their initial story. They said they liked this version and gave me the go ahead to post it because they'll probably never share their's anyway.

Special thank you to my friend who edited this thing. I'm grateful that they were able to help me turn my messy notes and ramblings in a cohesive story.

I get really inspired by music. So, if I do continue to publish installments of this story, they'll most likely be written with songs included.

Also, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I've never had to format such a long post like this on here before.

Word Count: 13.9k (This is a slow burn)

Breakdown

I'm overworking 'til the sundown

Don't see the light inside my head now

There’s a faint buzzing sound that fills Miguel’s workspace. His eyes are a bit bloodshot and itchy from his lack of blinking. He’s grown irritated by now after hours of surveillance and Lyla badgering him to just take a break already. He keeps swatting her away with languid flicks of his wrist while sighing and rubbing his temple. There’s an ache in his head that’s dull yet ever-present but he feels like rest will not come to him anytime soon. He also remembered that he wanted to run diagnostics on a few of his lab’s systems that would ultimately take a while. The testing is usually run automatically but he’s disabled the scheduled maintenance cycle in order to have tasks to do when he's restless like now. Unfortunately for Miguel’s overactive mind, things have mellowed out in the multiverse for the time being. He's been trying to fill his time as he waits for something, anything to happen. It's caused him to grow a bit on edge as of late. Yes, there are still plenty of anomalies to be dealt with but he’s found the late hours to have grown more quiet. It seems that the uncharacteristic silence has planted an eerie feeling in him that he just can’t shake. What if the moment he steps away, something arises? Lyla calls him paranoid but truthfully, he can’t take the risk of complacency.

Eventually, he plops into his chair and prepares to stare at the monitors for another who knows how many hours. He glances over the society’s various CCTV displays in a sluggish attempt at monitoring the building. Yet, something catches his attention. His eyes zero in on a lone figure in the engineering lab. He blinks a bit slowly and scoots closer to take a better look while disregarding the buttons on the control panel in front of him that actually allows him to zoom in on the feed. The thought had completely escaped his foggy brain thanks to his chronic sleep deprivation. Languidly, his eyes flicker to the time and back up. 4:13 am.

I need to see you in my window

There’s not a doubt in Miguel’s mind about what or more accurately who it may be. It’s your form hunched over the workbench. Your signature pair of shoes gives you away entirely. Frankly, it’s not a surprise at this point. This may be the fourth or fifth time he's noticed your presence at such an unorthodox hour. You always tend to stay late at HQ because of your own odd sleeping schedule. He’s overheard you mention to Jess that your universe has a slight daytime shift compared to the others but he didn’t consider it to be by this much. This was nonetheless a preferred choice of company, albeit in an entirely different area of the building from him, because you're quiet and focus on your work. He's not entirely sure if the two of you have interacted for more than a single minute. Perhaps, that's why he prefers you over others. He's never actually spoken to you outside of very few mission assignments and reports. You've caught his eye before. At first, he noticed you were a bit too quiet. It initially caused suspicion to sew itself within his brain. However, after a brief investigation into you performed by Lyla, he concluded that it's simply the way you behave. Now, when you catch his eye he assumes it's due to how you carry yourself relative to others, professional and efficient. Despite the distance between you two, both figurative and literal in this moment, he finds himself watching you through one of the many floating windows before him. His fingers finally slither among the control panel to switch to a different camera in the lab. After flicking through a couple of feeds, the screen changes to an angle that shows your face. Perhaps he's a bit too tired in this instance because his hazy brain barely registers the way his breath hitches in his throat momentarily.

He's seen your bare face only once before and it summoned the same reaction from him. He's taken aback by how you look. It's a bit of a surprise in all honesty. You're so, for lack of a better term, different. And that's not claimed in some common colloquial way. You are literally different. Here at the society, a handful of faces are circulated between the Spiders. However, yours is unique and undoubtedly you. He's only ever come across one of you, the one that's sitting and tinkering in one of his labs. The last and only time he saw your bare face was a fleeting glance before you quickly shoved your mask back on. He assumes you're a bit shy because of it. However, now he can take his time to really analyze your features. He sees how your brows pinch in concentration and how your eyes look a bit red. Ah, it appears you haven't been blinking properly like him either. He sees how your tongue gently swipes out from your mouth before you nip at your bottom lip. Your hands work on repairing a circuit board with your eyes focused on the corrosion you wipe off. He watches you for a while as you work, finding intrigue in the way you do such mundane tasks as repairing a PCB and reassembling a gadget. Eventually, you sit up and stretch a bit, before rubbing your face in what he collects as either exhaustion or boredom. He understands the feeling, truly. Yet his eyes widen a bit as your eyes look at the camera and he finds himself perking up when he sees you smile. He then zooms out to see that you’re conversing with Lyla. Despite the quick misunderstanding, he finds himself enjoying the scene before him. You speak to her so calmly and casually. Do you often speak with her? Many thoughts start to pop up in his mind about you and your overall enigmatic behavior. Your smile triggers hyperactivity to blossom in his mind, his thoughts reeling at the way you look. Your lips pinch together softly as one side of your mouth curls a bit more than the other. Your brows raise as you speak with Lyla, your contentment is evident. He's caught up in the details of your face and it's nearly instinctual the way the corners of his lips twitch in a subconscious attempt to mirror yours.

And I whisper

All I really want is you

What would you do?

He has formed this habit of watching you in the late nights and early mornings. At first, it was mere coincidence when his eyes lingered on you, maybe even out of some sense of caution, but now he finds himself seeking you out after a month of noticing your constant presence. Lyla teased him about being a creep but he usually just replies with a grunt or the occasional snarky comment. Every night you’re working on something and his curiosity is piqued. However, it appears you work efficiently given how it seems to be a new project every few nights or so. His eyes flutter a bit as he sees Lyla appear next to you. Judging by the way you react to her arrival, it’s just for a chat. He notices how your hands rest over one another in front of you as you nod at what Lyla says, laughing and blinking softly at her. You’re polite when listening, putting down whatever you’re working on to give her your attention. The only assumption he's made from it being that you're simply kind. His eyes are attracted to the way your thumbs twiddle around one another absentmindedly. Do you often fidget like that? He tries to think back on the previous times he witnessed your hands when they were not busy, which is not a common occurrence. And as he watches you, he strokes the panel button under his own thumb subconsciously as if it were the back of your hand. He’s only managed to conclude one thing about them and it’s not about how you fidget.

He mutters to himself deeply in observation, “Pequeñas.”

He looks at your hands, pixelated by the monitor, and then down at his own much bigger ones. He ponders momentarily about just how small they truly are. He's certain that if he were to measure them, the entire length would barely reach 7 inches while his are well past 9, probably even past 10 in actuality. If you placed your palm against his, his hand would completely dwarf yours. If you placed your palm against his... what would it fit like? What would it feel like? What would you do if he held your hand? Wait… why is he thinking about that?

“But,” he mumbles softly as he watches you walk off with Lyla in tow, “I think…”

Laying in the rain with you

Middle of June

It’s been two months since he fully took notice of you that night with his full attention; the night he seen you truly as yourself for the first time. From what Lyla has mentioned, you’ve been here almost every night since you joined the society. It doesn’t bother him that he hadn’t noticed you for so long. To him, it made sense. He often found himself drowned in work. Things were hectic for a while, a long while, but luckily during these past few months, things have been relatively easy. Emergency missions in the middle of the night have been few and far between and usually required only one person to complete them which is why Miguel has been manning the fort all by his lonesome for some time now. However, the only other spider permitted to be at HQ during the overnight hours is you thanks to your completely reversed day-night schedule. The two of you have been on a handful of late night missions together throughout this time but he has yet to speak to you about anything not regarding work. It’s a bit strange if he’s being truthful. You may be the only spider that has never spoken to him casually, ever. Sure, he’s suspected you are antisocial but he hadn’t anticipated it to be by this much. You don’t stand out, you stay focused on your work, and you never talk to anyone. Well, that last one isn’t too unbelievable given the fact that you’re only ever here when everyone else isn’t. Miguel can’t help but wonder if you have ever spoken to anyone in the Society without the intention of completing your professional duties? The closest to such an instance was the one time he heard you speak to Jess which was also the first time he had ever seen you. Jess was going to introduce you to him but he was busy having an argument with Hobie. It never grew to be physical but his shouting certainly must have put you off considering he never saw you around again after that. It makes sense, truthfully, since that was your first impression of him. You must think he's always shouting, irritated, and highly intolerant of disobeying his instruction. That is what he was yelling about at the time after all. Well, that is until he noticed you lingering around the building at night. Honestly, you weren’t even a thought in his mind until Lyla sent him a debriefing of you just before Jess officially assigned you to the night shift. He was going to protest, citing that you have no meritorious experience to do so or something like that but he found out that you don’t actually bother him like everyone else. However, he’s grown very aware of your presence as of late thanks to his more unoccupied overnight schedule.

He even has time to just sit and think about anything other than the multiverse now. Usually, this spare time is occupied by observing you. He likes to sit back and watch all the tasks you do with no one around. He finds it relaxing in a way, which is something he’s grateful for. He’s discovered many things about you through this newfound hobby. You tilt your head with a small pout when you’re confused. You often have music stuck in your head which is made evident by the way you nod your head rhythmically. You rub your face with both hands when you’re tired and only one hand when you’re bored. You like to take power naps under the workbench specifically in the left corner of the lab, closest to the door. You usually wear civilian clothing around HQ at night but always wear the same shoes. You don’t like coffee. You drink tea but it has to be hot with steam billowing from the cup. You drink water more often than tea though, but only at room temperature. You crack your knuckles in 30-minute intervals when you type or tinker for long periods of time. You yawn frequently when the air-conditioner is pointed at you… The list could go on. Honestly, he’s a bit taken aback by how much knowledge he’s retained of your behavior and mannerisms. Why is that exactly? He can’t just claim outright boredom. Watching you is something he avidly chooses to do because he likes it. Bored certainly isn't the word he'd use to describe how observing you makes him feel.

“Why am I doing this?”, he mutters deeply as his eyes watch you type away on a computer. Maybe it’s like a child with an ant farm. It’s simply interesting. No, that doesn’t quite sound right. Even ‘interesting’ doesn’t truly capture how he feels watching you every night.

Soon a bright search window pops up in front of him, making him flinch aggressively. “Lyla!”, he shouts in annoyance as he rubs his stinging eyes; already knowing the culprit.

She pops up next to him with a shrug, “What? You asked a question and I’m answering it.”

He squints softly, his eyes focusing on the window presented to him. There are multiple articles listing words that make him furrow his brows. Intrigue, infatuation, sonder, escapism, comfort-watching. To Lyla’s surprise, he mulls them over but she chalks it up to his sleep deprivation. Some words stick out to him, finding himself unfamiliar with them.

“Comfort-watching.”, he states slowly as he selects the article. It explains what it is and what it stems from, denoting its connection to escapism. “The habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from reality or routine.”, he reads aloud, words muffled by his hand stroking his chin. Well, that didn’t make sense, watching you is his routine at this point.

He wouldn’t describe what you do as entertainment in theory and it’s certainly not imaginative. It’s just him watching how you do normal things. He softly chews his lip as he glosses over the other articles.

Lyla mimics his actions and strokes her chin, opening another article in front of her form. “Oh? This’ll be interesting.”, she thinks before speaking to Miguel, who’s now distracted by both the articles and his occasional glances at you. “Why do you like watching y/s/n?” [your spider name]

He replies with a sigh as he waves his hands around, positioning the articles around him, “That's what I’m trying to figure out, Lyla.”

“Just think for a moment. Off the top of your head, what’s one thing you like about doing this?”, she gestures to the monitor containing you. The two of them glance at you through one of the screens standing from your seat and stretching your whole body in an attempt to reduce your exhaustion.

Miguel’s inquisitive eyes soften a bit as he responds earnestly, “It’s familiar.” Lyla’s face flashes a bit in curiosity as she observes his expression. Before she can speak again, he continues, “This is calm and… warm.”

“Warm?”, Lyla asks curiously, her eyes fluttering over the chart in the article she opened. She's notated a couple of checkmarks now, in places she hadn't expected.

His eyes just can’t leave you as he thinks about what he’s said. It’s hard to put exactly into words, “I… appreciate her presence. She’s always there and it makes me feel comfortable.” There’s a strange feeling that stirs inside him upon hearing the words he formulates in response. You, a complete stranger, have somehow become a totem of routine in his eyes. Because after watching you nearly every night, you are always there working. Always. Despite the strange and unpredictable multiverse the two of you reside in, you sit in one of his labs, typing away on a computer. In a sense you’ve become the embodiment of normal.

Lyla repeats quietly but not lacking the casual tone she usually holds, “Her… Do you ever want to talk to y/s/n?”

He hums in thought before replying with an unsure shrug, “Honestly… I never even considered that. I don’t think I need to.”

Lyla glances back at the article and then back to Miguel, “But do you want to?”

His movements stall as her question hangs in the air. He takes a moment to apprehend what she’s asking. His eyes trail slowly from the articles floating around him to you on the CCTV display. You're crawling under that specific workbench in the left corner of the lab for what he knows is a power nap; he finds himself almost smiling at that. Does he want to talk to you? He ponders a situation in which he finds himself conversing with you casually. What would you talk about? He knows you like tea. Would you talk about your favorite kind? What is your favorite kind? How would you pronounce it? How do you pronounce certain words like caramel or aluminum? Maybe like aluminium? Maybe you say it differently than he does. He can imagine a light-hearted debate over phonetics, the two of you drowsy from the late night hours. Maybe you’ll tease him about the way he says it. How would you say… his name? You’ve spoken his name before on missions with a professional tone, always addressing him by his surname. It irks him a bit but he's never gotten around to informing you to just call him Miguel… How would you sound calling out to him in a tone that's amicable and familiar?

He’s broken out of his thoughts by Lyla waving her pixelated arms in front of him and a shout of his name, “Miguel!” He jolts at the sound of an alarm beeping around him. Bold words pop out in front of him, “ANOMALY DETECTED”. He hears his family name called out and straightens at the sound. That’s not Lyla's voice. He turns around to see you in your suit, tucking the hem of your mask into your collar as you trek to his platform. His hand waved behind him, minimizing the displays floating around him to hide the clues to his distraction with a single motion.

He hears you speak in a sober tone as you stand before him, “Lyla informed me that we’re both needed for this one. There’s an anomaly running around a metropolitan area on Earth-26. It travels quickly so we'll have to chase after it. Also, there doesn’t appear to be anyone to help.” He nods quickly, navigating through the multiversal map on his watch to open a portal. He nearly flinches as you gently grasp his forearm, looking up at him slowly.

“O'Hara,” you said calmly, which made him look at you curiously, “full stealth on this one. I’m uncertain how this universe would respond to… our kind.”

His lips nearly press into his natural pout under his mask as you address him by his family name but quickly absorbs what you're truly saying to him. He’s had a couple run-ins with a universe like this before and understands your concern entirely. He slowly pulls your hand from his forearm. The size difference doesn’t skip past him and makes something buzz in the back of his brain. Yet it’s subconscious, the way his fingers linger around yours before he releases them and states firmly, “Stay close to me.” You nod in understanding which he reciprocates before opening a portal. You flip open your watch and quickly calibrate your interface and send sync data to his watch to stay connected during the mission. It’s strange how ready you appear to be but it’s greatly appreciated. He hadn’t realized that he was staring before you turned towards him. You tilt your head softly and unbeknownst to you, he knows without a doubt that it’s out of curiosity. He gives you a nod, hoping it didn’t look as strange as he felt doing it. You step through the portal first and he’s quick to follow after as Lyla observes it all with an inquisitive squint.

All I really want is you

This was an uncommon feeling. You two chased after the anomaly, zipping through the sleeping city's skies quickly. Luckily, you both haven’t been spotted by anyone as you swing through the late-night drizzle. He started feeling a bit… he supposes ‘at ease’ is the best way to put it. He’s not foolish enough to grow complacent mid-mission but being on mission with you, working so seamlessly with him, made this feel easy. You’re professional, giving clear cues and staying on the same page. It’s as if you can hear what he’s thinking. Sure lego Spider-man is a good teammate but you’re a good partner.

The anomaly made its way to a rooftop with you right on its tail. You landed quickly with a soft roll before keeping low to the ground while Miguel landed behind you with a soft grunt. You crouched a bit as you tiptoed around gently, trying not to alarm the anomaly located somewhere nearby. He waits on standby, keeping a lookout for anyone who might see you two while you try to catch the small creature. You freeze as you see the silhouette of it, patting the ground with stubby limbs, seemingly ready to take flight again. That is until you squat down and pat the ground too. It looks at you and tilts its head, another action that you mimic before removing your mask. It slowly walks to its right and you gently shuffle to your left. You release a chuckle as you can see something that looks like a tail wagging. The noise meets Miguel’s ears and he turns to find you squatting and maskless. His eyes widen at the sight, fighting the hitch in his breath as he sees your h/c hair, it looks much softer in person. His eyes narrow is realization as he quickly replaces his intrigue with his usual pragmatism.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he speaks monotone, “What are you doing?”

You release a slow and soft, “Shhhh.” You then gently raise your hand, motioning him to approach you. His fingers twitch instinctively as he looks at your flopping hand and surprises himself by reaching out for it. However, his mellow emotions are doused in confusion as you tug him down quickly. He nearly falls on top of you, clearly not anticipating such sudden strength from you. Luckily, he manages to brace himself, kneeling behind you, and leaning a bit over your shoulder. He’s about to ask what the hell you’re doing when you point to the far corner of the rooftop. His eyes widen as he watches the dark creature slowly slink toward the two of you.

You breathe out quietly to Miguel, “Deactivate your mask.” He turns to you in shock despite you not looking at him. He’s about to protest before you whisper, “It needs to see your face.”

He acquiesces your command and slowly retracts his mask. The air nips at his warm face as he spies the creature tilting its head. You tilt your head too while whispering to him, “Mimic what it does.”

Miguel begins to protest but you quickly cut off his words, “Why-?”

“Just do it.” He nearly rolls his eyes at your sudden command but finds himself following suit as he tilts his head too. He watches curiously as the creature pats the ground with its left paw and you mirror it with your right hand. He grows a bit amused watching the two of you continue this little dance until it slowly crawls closer to you both. Miguel can hear your breath hitch as the creature steps into the light shining from over the door to the rooftop you all are on. It’s dark and covered with scales, with large blue eyes and bat-like wings. Your hand is still placed on the ground as the creature cautiously closes the distance between you. You cautiously turn your hand palm up, Miguel is confused by this but continues to watch nonetheless. The creature's eyes look up at you warily with tightly constricted pupils. You then turn your head, facing away from it and toward Miguel quickly. He barely manages to lean back enough to avoid you smacking your head into his shoulder.

He looks at you quizzically as you whisper to him, “Keep your eyes on me.” His brows furrow which indicates his clear confusion at your command. You respond cautiously yet softly, “Don’t look it in the eyes. It’s still scared.” Miguel slowly nods in understanding as his eyes stay on yours. 

There’s something that fizzles in his ears as he stares at you. Your eyes are oddly… calming. He’s never thought of looking at them before. At least not in an intentional way like this, unlike the usual polite eye contact you’re obligated to give someone you work with. It's so strange seeing you in person up close like this. He also has to fight the heat he feels making its way onto his cheeks at your close proximity. Your eyes sparkle a bit from the dim moonlight and there's drops of rain littered around your hair. You look so soft and inviting. There's not a sliver of malice anywhere across your features. He's sure this small anomaly is smart enough to come to you.

Soon he feels his lungs quiver in his chest as he watches your eyes crinkle as you smile. You’re chuckling. Why are you chuckling? His ears are roaring by the time you turn back toward the creature. His gaze lingers on the side of your face before looking down at the little one who’s currently licking and nuzzling into your hand, giving it playful nips. He smiles at that, grateful that this mission will end easier than expected.

The creature jumps on you and licks your face with a happy warble. Miguel tenses, worried that it may be attacking you until you release a giggle as you coo warmly, slowly standing with the creature wrapped in your arms. The sound tingles in Miguel's ears and he can’t help but watch you almost mesmerized as you carry the creature carefully before he stands back up next to you.

You comfort the creature with soft words as your nimble fingers quickly fashion a tracker to the little beast then click your watch. You speak calmly as you stare down at the baby creature with a smile, “Lyla, may you please check for any residual anomalies?” Lyla appears behind the creature and gives you a little salute before her visage flits around and scans the area. Miguel approaches to inspect the animal but leans back when it attempts to sniff at him which makes you chuckle at his stiffness. Then, you gently scratch between the animal’s horns as you walk closer to him to let it smell him properly. He stands awkwardly, watching its nostrils flare with each sniff of his arm.

You look around at the skyline behind him with a sigh, “What a view. Do you ever-”. Your voice fades off quickly as you squint, looking at something in the distance. Miguel notices as your hand stops moving and you cradle the creature protectively. Before he can even look at you, you shout while shoving him to the ground roughly, “Sniper!”. You yelp as something pierces your forearm violently, making your knees wobble. The creature jumps out of your hold, having sensed your body going limp before you slump into Miguel’s arms. The creature nuzzles into your dangling hand with a sad whine.

Miguel immediately enters high alert. He stays low as shots ring out above you, dragging you behind a structure to obstruct you all from whatever the hell is attacking. You're slumped against him as he shakes you softly with a tense voice, patting your face anxiously, “Y/s/n? Y/s/n wake up!” He sees the creature standing on its hind legs pawing at your thigh, looking up at him with scared eyes. Miguel shouts out into the air, “Lyla!” Immediately, a portal opens in front of you three.

Lyla speaks in a rushed tone, looking down at you worriedly, “I didn’t detect any more anomalies. Hurry.” Miguel scoops up both you and the anomaly, holding you tight as he jumps through the portal quickly.

What would you do?

Sleeping outside, the moon

Tripping with you

Miguel’s quick as he carries you to the med bay, the anomaly’s little legs trying to keep up with his long, wide strides. He places you on a bed and pulls up a med pod. He runs a full scan of your body and finds a bit of relief when it is concluded that you got dosed with a tranquilizer but he’s still tense. Usually a tranq doesn’t work that instantaneously; nor does it cause a strong shift in your blood pressure like this… It’s almost as if it’s thinned your blood. He sanitizes and gloves up quickly before grabbing some supplies to remove the projectile lodged in your arm. Fortunately, it doesn't take too long to remove all the pieces of the dart that broke apart. There's a bad feeling in his stomach as he does. He's never seen a tranq dart do such a thing. Why is it so fragile? Miguel has Lyla analyze the fragments while he cleans the wound.

He steals a glance at the little creature sitting in the doorway, its eyes watching you intently. He speaks evenly as he floods the wound with saline, gently patting it dry, “Don’t worry, she’s okay. She’s just sleeping.” He finishes wrapping your arm gingerly with a bandage and pulls the bed sheet over you, raising each of your arms to rest over the sheet. He stares at your hand in his for a moment. It’s warm. Your hands are warm and tiny compared to his. So, that’s how they feel… He blinks himself out of his thoughts and gently sets your hand down by your side to let you rest.

“You can come over. I’m done but she won’t be awake for a while.” Miguel says before looking over at the little beast. He’s almost surprised when it appears to understand what he’s said. After all, you did mention during the mission that it seemed highly intelligent relative to other wild animals. It stands, slowly trudging over before hopping onto the bed beside your leg. It looks at you and then turns to crawl on you cautiously as if it’s afraid of hurting you. After a few moments of hesitation, it pats the bed, circling a few times before settling down between your feet. Finally, it rests its chin on your leg, looking at you with large eyes while its tail curls around itself, and releases a soft bleat.

The display of how gentle it acts with you nearly makes him scoff in disbelief. It’s hard to believe that this is the same angry little beast that tried to claw at him earlier in the night. He's almost offended, truthfully. Why was it so mean to him? It seems to act like a cat, aggressive one moment then clingy the next. Miguel's eyes drift back up to look at you as he works around the room. He thinks for a moment to himself, "I guess between the two of us, I'd go to her too." He shakes the thoughts from his head. Miguel plops back onto the stool beside your bed with a sigh, having just finished cleaning up the soiled supplies. He yawns and scratches his jaw tiredly before he crosses his arms over his chest. The adrenaline that was once in his body is now long gone and his prior exhaustion floods him tenfold. However, he’s able to mutter with droopy eyes that watch your peaceful sleeping face, “What were you going to ask me?” He soon couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, his body feeling heavy and slowly slumping over as he drifted off to sleep. 

Head down

Miguel groans as he feels something slimy on his forehead. He squints harshly at the light that penetrates his eyelids but before he can get up to stretch he freezes at what he hears.

"Hey, hey. Don't do that, little one. He needs to rest."

He's about to just sit up to explain that it's too late but your voice breaks through with a gentle coo. "Oh. Look what you did, honey. You messed it up…"

Before his mind can propel itself into countless thoughts of hearing you say the pet name in such an endearing way, he feels something gently card through his hair. There's something that erupts down his spine at the sensation and that faint fizzling in his ears returns. Especially when he can feel your fingers graze against his helix as you sweep some strands of his hair behind it. He feels his body melt at your ministrations.

Now, he chooses not to move or open his eyes. He pretends to be asleep on what he can blindly tell is the edge of the bed you’re resting in. He enjoys this, the sound of your voice as you comfort and hush the little anomaly the two of you caught. He hears sad warbling and feels the bed move a bit. He manages to cautiously crack an eye open to peek at you cradling the creature close as it sniffs and licks your bandage gently.

You speak softly to it, "Hey, shh-shh. It's okay, I'm okay. See?" You poke the bandage, not where the wound is but the edge of it, to prove that it's fine. You point at Miguel which causes him to shut his eyes quickly before you speak again, "He protected me and helped me get better. So, it's okay." He feels the bed shift as you quietly chuckle, "Ah, ah. Don’t do that, love. I don't want to wake him up, he was really tired." He can sense you stopping the creature from approaching him further as you stand.

There's a soft shuffle that can be heard around him before he feels something drape over his shoulders. You speak so delicately near his ear as you cover him, “Thank you for taking care of me. Sweet dreams.”

He hears the rustling of fabric and the soft plodding of your feet along the floor accompanied by your voice, "Okay, baby. Let's go." Miguel's eyes peek open to see you walking out of the infirmary with the little creature trotting next to you.

Once you’re gone he turns his head, pulling the fabric off his back. It's your cardigan. The one that you were wearing earlier before the mission. His eyes still feel heavy as he bunches up the fabric under him. His nose is flooded with a scent he's unused to. It smells warm and comfortable and soon he drifts off again with his arms wrapped securely around your cardigan below his head.

That’s what you are, he thinks. Warm and comfortable.

I don't know when to come up for air now

It's been a couple of days since your e-26 mission together and you haven't spoken since. Like usual, you spend the night in the lab and Miguel busies himself with some backlogged reports. However, his eyes still glance over to the monitor displaying you occasionally. He's noticed that you haven't worked as much as before. Sure, you’ve tinkered with a few things but you mostly just write in a notebook and slump over the workbench now. He pauses to inspect your face then switches to a camera angle that shows what you're writing. Oh. You're not writing, you're sketching something. He zooms in to see a picture of the anomaly you two sent back after Miguel woke up that morning. Just as he thought, you were depressed because your little friend had to go back home. That’s a lie, he hadn’t actually thought of that at all. Truthfully, he was starting to grow concerned that something was wrong with you… He watches as you add detail to the eyes, the tip of your pencil faintly tracing along the paper to simulate each streak across its irises. It's this that reminds him of when he stared into your eyes. They're much richer than expected, drowned in a color that is so… you. It's you because it's comforting and relaxing and deep. Comfortable and warm. He remembers the words with a soft hum.

He catches something bright appearing next to you. It's Lyla. He's found that you two converse almost every night. What do you two talk about? How many things have you discussed? There’s something unknown that bubbles in the pit of his stomach as these thoughts fill his head. Eventually, his curiosity gets the best of him and he switches on the audio feed. The thought of this being a violation of your privacy, completely slipping past him. He gently sits down as he listens to the two of you talk.

"Raon? What does it mean?", Lyla questions curiously.

You rest your chin on your hand as you lean against the table, looking up at Lyla with a warm smile as you reply, "It means joyful. He looks just like… ah, it’s nothing." You trailed softly but soon chuckled with a wave of your hand.

The scene before him makes Miguel smile softly to himself. It’s such a mundane conversation yet he finds enjoyment from it. Especially from the soft chuckle that comes from you. 

"Hey, did you ever get around to-" Lyla begins but is cut off by your quick response.

"Nope… sorry.", You apologize with a bow of your head, realizing you interrupted her, "I should probably soon, huh?"

"Uh, yeah. The window of validity is closing, bud.", Lyla conjures up a window beside her before shutting it slowly as she raises a brow at you.

You nod and sigh, standing from your seat before turning to leave, "You're right. Thanks for reminding me, Lyla."

She hums to you before disappearing off the screen. She soon pops up next to Miguel who’s watching the feed of you walking through a corridor. She leans over his shoulder and speaks near his ear, "Stalker much?"

Miguel jolts at that and quickly exits off the camera display. He grunts and pulls some reports in front of him in a feeble attempt to cover up what he was doing, "I'm not a stalker."

She smirks and sings with an almost smug tone, "Ah, c'mon. It's just a joke, Miguel. Don't pout."

He states evenly as his eyes glance over the files presented before him, “Not pouting.”

“You never answered my question, y’know?”

“What question?”

“Do you want to talk to y/s/n?” She emphasizes her words with raised brows as she slowly orbits around his head to face him.

He blinks in thought, recalling the recent mission. You’re unfinished words wading upon the surface of his mind and truthfully they have been in his thoughts ever since you first uttered them into the night air. It wasn’t in your usually professional tone. It sounded more casual and unfortunately, you were cut short before finishing your sentence. “Do you ever… Do I ever what?”, he muses as his fingers rub at the side of his chin. He nods slowly before mumbling, “Yes… I think I do.”

Lyla bends down to smirk smugly at him with her arms akimbo, “Good.”

He squints at her and voices his confusion, “What do you mean? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“O’Hara?”, he stiffened as his eyes went wide at the sound of your voice. He composes himself quickly with a low grunt before turning to you.

Unfortunately, you misunderstand this, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“You’re not interrupting me. I just remembered something. Did something happen?”

You absorb his fast-paced sentences, “No, I just wanted to talk to you.”

He’s shocked by this but his face doesn’t show it. If only you knew of the discussion you just interrupted by coming here.

“I wanted to formally thank you for taking care of me.”, you spoke calmly while looking up at him on his platform. He noticed your hand resting over your bandaged arm, confusion taking over his features. You noticed this and looked down at your arm too, nodding before your gaze returned to him. You subconsciously rub the bandage as you speak, “Ah, this. I don’t… heal as quickly as the rest of you.”

He mulls over your words, the rest of you. You speak in a way that alienates yourself from the Spiders. It’s a phrase he can understand due to him constantly being put in his own category relative to the other spider-people. Other… He supposes he speaks about himself the same as you. So that’s that sense of familiarity explained, albeit partially. He asks with his naturally stoic expression, “Why is that?” He watches with furrowed brows as you think of how to respond.

You softly shake your head with a shrug, “I just don’t.”

Before either of you can speak again, Lyla questions while pointing at you next to Miguel. There’s a small smirk on her face, “Hey, y/s/n? What’s that?” Miguel looks at her curiously before looking down at the box in your hands.

“Oh, this is just… This is for you, O’Hara.”, you take a step forward towards his platform. Miguel’s brows shoot up not only at what you say but at his now descending platform. He looks over to Lyla who smirks at him, clearly the cause. He clears his throat as his workspace reaches your level, “Is it something to sign off on?” He thinks that maybe you’re ready to beta-test new equipment that needs approval first.

You shake your head and hand the box to him with a small smile, “No. This is a thank you.”

He furrows his brows again as he slowly opens the box with his words trailing off, “A thank you?...” It’s… they’re empanadas. You just gave him a box of empanadas as a thank you? 

“I heard Jess mention you liked empanadas. Sorry, they’re not the ones from the cafeteria though.”

He stares at them for a few more seconds. They’re warm. Are they fresh? How? It’s almost 3 am. Did you pick them up from your universe? “You didn’t have to give me this. I didn’t really-”

“You saved my life.” His eyes widen a bit as they meet yours. Ah. So you found out…

Your hands wring together nervously as you speak, “Lyla showed me the analysis of the fragments you pulled from my arm. Etorphine is a strong agent as is but it was formulated into a high-dose soluble projectile. If you hadn’t helped me so quickly, it would have dissolved into my blood and…”

“Thank you.”, Miguel all but whispers with his head down.

“You don’t have to thank me for thanking yo-”

“You took that shot for me.”, he quickly cuts you off. His eyes slowly trailing up to meet yours with firm sincerity. “Why did you take that shot?”

You rub your nape as you avoid his gaze and reply in an almost soft voice, “Ah. I didn’t really think about it… my body just moved on its own.”

There’s a bit of an awkward silence that spreads between you two as you both avoid each other’s eyes. Miguel stares back down at the food before speaking, “You really didn’t have to give me these.”

You speak with gentle hand gestures, a trait he didn’t know you had until now, “No, no. Please take them. I made them to thank you. It’s how I show proper gratitude. Honestly, I don’t think it’s enough.”

He looks at you in thought before looking back down at them with raised brows and a gentle smirk, “You made them?”

You tense, eyes darting to Lyla but she only offers you a quiet snicker. You sigh before nodding slowly, “Yes, I did. I’m sorry if you think they taste bad.”

He’s amused at your word choice. You didn’t say if they taste bad, you said if he thinks they taste bad. So you cook. And it sounds like you cook well given how confidently you speak about what you make.

Before he speaks, Lyla asks you something and motions you toward the control panel, “Y/n/n, come take a look at this.” [your nickname]

You bow your head briefly at Miguel with a modest smile before making your way to the screen Lyla opens for you. That’s another habit of yours he wasn’t fully aware of. He stands back and watches as you point at the screen and discuss it with Lyla. Your arms cross as you stand before the monitors, your face morphed from your inquisitiveness as you inspect the blueprint Lyla shows you. This makes him calm again. Watching you always made him calm and relaxed. However, it feels a bit stronger when you’re standing just a meter or so away from him. With you here now, so close to him, he actually feels warm. There’s a heat that surrounds him that he just can’t really explain. He continues his musings before taking a bite of the empanada absentmindedly but his eyes shoot down at the food as he tastes it. These aren’t like the ones from the cafeteria, they’re far better. The cafeteria carries standard beef empanadas. Beef and seasoning, it’s hard to mess it up. But these? Is this stew? This is honestly the best thing he's eaten in a long time. His foot stutters as he prevents himself from stepping closer to you and swallows the delicious bite before mumbling, “Are these-”

“Salteñas, sí.” His eyes travel up to see you looking back at him with a warm smile and nod. The way you say it is so natural. It rolls off your tongue so smoothly. Do you speak Spanish?

“Wow, it eats!”, Lyla cheers sarcastically.

“Lyla!”, he groans in annoyance.

“What do you-”, you unfurl your arms and look at him with what he recognizes as concern, “Sir, are you not eating properly?” You turn to face him completely and approach him slowly when all he returns is silence.

Lyla floats over to you, her voice laced with a haughty tone as she tattles, “No. No, he is not.” He grunts and tries to snatch her holographic form. His hand just misses her as she teleports to your other side with a giggle.

“O’Hara,” you call to him in a tone that’s so soft while still holding firmness. That’s new. It’s not as casual as he imagined and you’re still addressing him by his surname but he’s still pleased with how it sounds coming from you in that tone. “How often do you eat?”

He tenses a bit and looks away from your eyes before he gets lost in more of his thoughts. “I eat.” His brows furrowed as he mentally berates himself for his obvious statement. Of course, he eats. Estúpido. His embarrassment quickly triggered his next words despite how unexpected they are, even to him, “What does it matter to you?”

He feels an odd sense of uneasiness as he notices your lack of reaction. He’s quick to attempt to amend his words, “It’s appreciated but it’s none of your concern when I do and don’t eat.” Then there is more silence. It weighs heavily in the air awkwardly. He realizes his words may seem a bit harsh given how tense his voice is. He’s unsure what to say now and for once the silence from you isn’t so comfortable.

“O’Hara.”, you say more sternly as you cross your arms. He can’t help the way he feels like a child being scolded by their teacher. What truly catches him off guard is how firm your tone is despite how gentle you look at him, “Stop deflecting.”

It all makes him feel a bit small despite him being the one looking down at you due to your apparent size difference. He’s never been fond of his height. It’s annoying and cumbersome but the way your body positions itself to stare at him makes him think that it’s not that bad. Your head has to tilt back for your eyes to meet his. Those rich eyes of yours… The e/c encompasses your pupils in such an inviting way [eye color]. And each time you blink he catches a glimpse of how your lashes flutter against your skin. His eyes slowly travel along your features. Your forehead creases softly as your brows raise. The action makes your eyes appear larger as you look up at him. Then he sees your lips moving slowly. They’re not shiny nor are they chapped. But they do look smooth as he sees the tip of your tongue softly curl behind your teeth as you speak. Your words slowly grow less foggy before he flinches at the feeling of your hand gently holding his forearm. There’s a slight ringing in his ears as your voice finally reaches him.

“Mr. O’Hara, are you okay? You’re flushed.”

“What?”, he breathes out in a rushed tone before his eyes focus out to see the entirety of your worried expression. He gently tugs at the collar of his suit uncomfortably. He actually feels the heat now, it’s more intense than before.

“You’re burning up. It’s warm in here too…”. You quickly grab the box of food from his hand and place it on a nearby tabletop before pulling him toward the entrance of his work area. “Here, come with me.”

You take my hand like there's a way out (way out)

And we're escaping through the window

Miguel isn’t sure how but he now finds himself in a rather unfamiliar situation. You’re dragging him around by the wrist. However, it’s apparent that he follows seamlessly behind you. It feels natural for him to just maintain your lead, especially when there’s very little energy within him to resist. He watches how you walk in front of him. You walk in a way that makes you look smaller than you actually are. It’s as if you’re trying to hide. Why is that? Your shoulders are slouched a bit forward as you guide him through the corridors. His eyes drift to the back of your head, watching the way your hair gently bounces with each one of your steps. You halt for a moment which causes him to nearly stumble into you. Your grip on his wrist falters briefly before sliding down to take him by the hand. The action completely slips past you as you decide where to walk next, but it surely does not get past him. He has to fight the urge to squeeze his hand around yours but utterly fails. He’s not too upset about this. Truthfully, most of his awareness was occupied by trying not to let his claws protrude from his fingertips. You turn back to look at him but he’s quick to avoid your eyes, oscillating his head mindlessly.

You must have taken this as a sign of his unwell state because soon you're tugging him through the cafeteria with a firm whisper, “Over there. You need fresh air.”

His red face and his lack of words must make him appear as though he won’t be able to last the trek to the infirmary. You gently squeeze his hand which makes his eyes snap back to you quickly. Making your way to the large terrace, you push the glass door open. The air sweeps past you both as you guide him to sit on one of the patio chairs scattered among the outdoor area. His eyes are dazed as he looks up at you standing in front of him but they haven’t left you for even a moment since you squeezed his hand. But now your hand is no longer in his. He’s surprised to find himself a bit annoyed at that. You’re moving too fast, he thinks. All your actions are slipping away from him thanks to his hazy mind and he doesn’t appreciate it. You pull a handkerchief out of your back pocket and pat his sweaty forehead. His eyes watch you as you do. Your lips press into a line as you gently bite your bottom lip. Your eyes are full of concern as they roam over the sight of his flushed face. You remove your hand from his space as you step back a bit, wanting to let him feel the light breeze.

He spies how your hands start to reach out but retract back to your side, settling on your hips instead. You speak evenly as you look at him, “Are you okay? Does that feel better?” It’s gradual as he breaks out of his cloudy stupor, the wind finally cooling him down. He nods slowly before something slithers out of his brain and past his lips.

And I whisper

“What?”, you tilt your head curiously.

“Miguel….”, he breathes out, “My name is Miguel.”

You blink at him and speak with a bit of concern, “I know tha-”

“I don’t like being called O’Hara or Sir or Mr. O’Hara. Call me Miguel.”

You nod softly as you take in his words before giving him a small smile, “Okay. From now on I’ll call you Miguel.”

He almost smiles at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue but catches himself before it’s too late. His brows furrowed in confusion as you gently extended your hand toward him. You smile softly as you gently grasp his hand and shake it with a kind tone, “My name is y/n. It’s only fair that you address me as such.”

His brain stalls for a few moments, absorbing your name. It’s so fitting in a previously unknown yet expectedly pleasant way. Of course, that’s your name. He looks up at you in thought as you gently pull your hand from his, “Y/n, huh? It’s… pretty.”

He tenses in realization for a moment before slowly speaking, ensuring that his own curiosity remains undetectable, “The other night on e-26, on the rooftop. What were you going to ask me?”

You’re taken aback and stand back up, your lip jutting out in a pout as you try to remember. Your eyes wander to the table beside the two of you in thought but Miguel’s eyes stay on you. He takes in the sight of your face morphed in contemplation. It’s the same look he’s seen countlessly through the late nights. Except this time, it’s not pixelated or blurry from his monitors. Now, he can see you up close. He can see clearly how your chin softly wrinkles as you purse your lips and the way your eyes crinkle at the outer corners. It’s almost comical how earnestly he takes in such ordinary features with the same scrupulousness as a lab experiment.

“Do you ever look out at the skyline… and feel at peace?” The words flow out of you softly as you move to sit on the patio table next to him. Your eyes glide up to look at the lights below that decorate the horizon.

Miguel finally tears his eyes from you to look at the skyline before you both. It’s hard to hear the vehicles from up here but he knows they’re there. He can see the lights flicker and wane in the distance as his body relaxes into the chair. He realizes how familiar he is with the scene and breathes out lowly, “Yes. I do.”

He can see you smile in his peripherals before your voice fills the space between you, “I’ve always found comfort in the horizon and the view of the land below. The sunrise and sunset. I think Raon would have been mesmerized by this view of the city lights.”

He turns to look at you curiously, “Raon?” Truthfully, he was a bit curious about the word you mentioned to Lyla earlier.

You nod with a hum, crossing your legs and propping your chin on your elbows as you get comfortable. “The baby creature from our mission. Raon.”

Miguel notices how the word our rattles around his brain but pushes that feeling aside. He attempts to overpower it with a wry remark, “Did you name the anomaly?”

You release a breathy chuckle and nod, “Kind of. There’s a story from my universe that had a baby dragon named Raon Miru in it. Looked exactly like him too, blue eyes and all.”

He finds relief now not just in observing you but in your close presence and words. He’s intrigued by what you say. He can’t quite place the origin of such a unique name. He knows Japanese but he’s unsure if that is its correct origin. He takes a moment to look at you in thought, certain that he wants to hear more, “That name, what does it mean?”

“It’s a bit on the nose, truthfully. It means ‘joyful dragon’.”

“Raon Miru.”, he repeats to himself as he turns back to look at the skyline with you. There’s a comfortable silence that swells between you both. It takes a few more moments before your voice slithers into the empty space.

“Do you truly not eat well?”

He turns to look at you again but immediately regrets it. Well, not really. Your eyes are full of concern as they meet his. He sighs and shakes his head, “No. I don’t.”

“Why?” You ask so simply as your eyes never leave him.

He bites the inside of his cheeks and contemplates whether he should brush this off and lie or just tell you the truth. He chooses the latter, citing that he genuinely enjoys your consideration. “I’m busy. I lose track of time and just forget.”

Lyla finally decides to pop up next to you, “Hey, y/s/n. You actually remember to eat stuff. Mind keeping Miguel in check for me?”

Miguel stiffens quickly shaking his head to protest but before he can, you respond. “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

“Cool.”, Lyla nods and disappears having completed her job as instigator.

His eyes travel to yours in question only for you to smile gently at him with a tilt of your head. “I need to make sure you’re properly taken care of.”

Need, you say. Not want. The way you say it so matter-of-factly makes his lungs quiver, just like that night. His mouth shuts as he slowly leans back in his chair. The way you look at him lets him know that there’s no room for debate. You nod with a smile as you watch him acquiesce your response. “Good. So, did you like the salteñas?”

He nods and speaks with a low hum, “Yes, they were good.”

You beam at that and lean toward him unconsciously, “Really? I was worried there for a second. By the way you heated up, I thought you had a bad reaction.” You straighten up as your features quickly morph in realization of something before speaking, “That reminds me. Lyla?”

“Yo.”, she appears in front of you like a pop-up ad.

“What’s the temperature in Miguel’s work area?”

She conjures up a thermostat and squints at it, “Yeesh, 85°F and climbing. At the time of reporting, it is approximately 20 degrees higher than average. Excessive heat appears to be emitting from a ground-level display console.”

“Oh, may you please-”

“Filtering and cooling as we speak, captain.”, her little hand bumping her forehead to salute you in assurance. “I’ve shut off the machine since it’s under minimal usage priority. Consider this a work order.”

You chuckle at her antics, “Thank you, dear. I’ll be sure to repair it asap. It also sounds like your active monitoring is on the fritz, I’ll check that too.” You then turn to Miguel, leaning in inquisitively to see if he’s cooled down enough.

He questions absentmindedly with an almost gravelly mumble, “Hablas español?” [Do you speak Spanish?]

You're taken aback but smile softly, “Sí, pero no lo hablo con fluidez.” [Yes, but I’m not fluent in it.]

He finds the corners of his mouth gently lifting at your words, “Me suenas fluido. Tu acento es natural.” [You sound fluent to me. Your accent is natural.]

Your smile seems to grow ever so gently as you nod, “Thank you. I grew up in a diverse place. Lots of people spoke languages other than English.”

Miguel found himself completely relaxed as he spoke with you about anything and everything. Like that, the conversation flowed between you for a long while.

All I really want is you

What would you do?

Your brows shoot up in shock before a small smile blooms on your face. “Good. Let’s meet out on the terrace at 3 am. You better not leave me hanging.”

He smirks at your warning in amusement, you said it in such a way that carries no real malice. He nods in understanding as you two walk side by side languidly, back to his work area. The conversation hasn’t stopped. Miguel thinks this is the longest he’s ever talked to someone, speaking more words in these last couple of hours with you than he has to anyone in months. It’s odd to him how easy it is to talk with you. It makes him feel like he’s conversing with an old friend.

He’s lost in content conversation with you as you two enter back into his lab and continues even after you begin to work. He leans against the main control panel on his platform as he watches you repair the display console that practically turned his work area into an oven. Miguel’s arms are crossed over his chest, somehow unsure of what to do with his hands. He speaks with a more calm tone, “So you’re the one who does repairs around here? You’d think I, of all people, would know that.”

“I actually did think you already knew that but I suppose me coming in here and working on your tech while you’re out during the day is a bit of a clue as to why you didn’t.” You calmly respond to him. Your voice is just a bit louder than normal in order to ensure he can hear you properly. After all, half of your body is inside a relatively large electronics console.

“So what’s the issue here then?”

"Just a basic issue. Overclocked GPUs and faulty heatsinks don't really mix well.", you sigh with a shrug after gently crawling out of the unit to drop some screws into a small tray beside you. You present a damaged PCB to him and point at a burnt section of it with the tip of your screwdriver, “See, a few of them have blown fuses.”

He’s tuned into what you say and nods in acknowledgment. He knows what you’re talking about and enjoys it because it’s not rushed and not frantic like during the day. It’s calm and comfortable.

"Although I told Pete to run manual diagnostics on this which he said he did. Liar." 

Miguel is amused by your annoyed grumble as you work. He’s a bit curious as to why you refer to Peter by nickname when you’ve only started calling him by his given name a couple hours ago but he figures it’s fine since Peter is the one who initially recruited you from what he can recall. 

Miguel leans a bit over to peek at the mess that is the internal hardware before you crawl back inside. "I'm going to guess that he didn't even look at this at all."

"Yeah, pretty safe to assume that. I should have known better than to ask him. He's been preoccupied lately.", you groan from inside the panel. You look a bit funny like this, with half your body inside the console.

“Why did you ask Peter to look at it then?”, Miguel asks a bit curiously.

“Um, my arm was still messed up, Sir. I couldn’t really pronate it without feeling uncomfortable.”

He hears how nonchalantly you say it and senses that you don’t want to bring up the injury again. He nods curtly to himself and continues while changing the subject, “Don't call me Sir. It makes me feel old.”

You smile softly to yourself as you respond, “Sorry, it’s a hard habit to shake. I mean, you are the boss. But you shouldn’t worry, you’re not old by a long shot. In fact, I’m your elder…”

Your last few words are muffled but he manages to pick them up. His brows raise in intrigue as he asks, “Is that so?”

The way you tense at what he says doesn’t slip past him but you soon answer in a calm voice, “My universe’s present year is several decades earlier than here. So despite being biologically younger than you, I am chronologically n/y years older than you.” [number of years]

Miguel turns to work on some reports as he says, “Well, you still look spry enough to handle the duties of a Spider.”

You nearly snort at his comment. You must have not expected it, judging by your reaction. You continue to work, your eyes focused on the components you inspect as you jest in a sardonic tone, “Thanks, jefe. I’m glad to know you think my body is still young enough to be thrown around on missions.”

He has to bite his lip to contain the chuckle that he feels vibrate in his chest. He didn’t expect you to respond so sarcastically but he’s glad that you did. If anything, it makes him want to continue talking with you, “So why haven’t I been formally notified of your work here?”

“Well, if something breaks or needs general maintenance, Lyla is informed and she then passes that information to me. She typically deals with software issues and I’m the hardware person. We don’t usually bother you with these things because you’re always so busy as it is.”, you offer with a shrug as you crawl out and sit on your heels, inspecting yet another PCB.

“It wouldn’t be a bother. I need to know about these things.”

You look up at him and chuckle quietly with a soft shake of your head, “There are reports on file of every single repair I’ve done but… the last thing you need to worry about is a coffee maker gone haywire or someone’s empty web cartridges.”

“Aren’t you busy too? You take missions yet you still pull the Society’s odd jobs. Why?”

“Not really. I’m active mostly at night or in the early morning hours. Even when there is an active mission, I’m D-team at best.”

“D-team? Why do you think that?”, Miguel is genuinely confused by what you say. After all, the two of you worked so well together during the missions you have been on with one another.

“I’m just not that capable when compared to the Spiders.”

There’s that phrasing of yours again. It paints a clear separation between you and the society. Why are you so unwilling to include yourself with them? What exactly makes you speak this way? Miguel then thinks back to your first mission together, when it was just the two of you. Although it felt foreign at first, you two completed it quickly and efficiently. He speaks in a tone that leaves no room for rebuttal, “You are very capable.”

“Yeah, you think so?”

“You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”

You sigh casually as you stand up, carrying a small tote against your hip of damaged hardware to be further inspected, “Well, I could just be pleasant to be around.”

He releases a breathy laugh at your arch remark with a shake of his head. If only you knew how important your presence has become to him over all these late nights.

You perked up at the sound as you placed the tote on a nearby desk, turning to him as you asked, “Did I just make you laugh?” 

He was about to groan in annoyance on instinct but caught the look in your eyes before he did. Your face didn’t show a single sign of ill intent. Rather, it carried what he identifies as wonder. His lips purse a bit as he looks away from you, trying to avoid your gaze to spare himself from how overactive he’s found his mind becomes when gazing upon your bare face.

“Oh, now you’re pouting.”

“Not pouting.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I am not.” 

Miguel’s brain stalls as his ears pick up a previously unknown yet gratifying sound. Gentle giggling slips from you and it makes that buzzing sensation in his ears return. But he's not upset because he knows you're not laughing at him. It’s that kind of laughter that isn’t rude nor teasing. It’s kind and full of joy. He can’t help the upturn of the corners of his mouth, finding your delight somewhat infectious.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just too cute.”, you wave your hand softly as your other hand attempts to muffle your chortling before grabbing the tote of hardware to repair again. You turn to leave to your usual lab to work but your joyful sounds have yet to cease.

Miguel’s frozen by your comment. Cute? In reference to him? That’s not… that’s implausible and honestly, unprecedented. The more he speaks with you, the more he learns just how strange you are. You’re different in not only appearance but behavior as well. He's sure now that you are unique to the Society in such an eccentric way. He realizes something and it’s arguable in his mind. It makes sense why you exclude yourself from them all. Out of all the Spiders, you’re the anomaly.

Laying in the rain with you

Middle of June

“Miguel O’Hara! Get your butt out here now!”

He groans and rolls his eyes with a smirk as he looks at the time. 3 am, on the dot. It’s time.

The two have grown very well acquainted with each other over the past 8 months. There was a stint of anomalies surfacing during the early overnight hours. For a while, it seemed you and Miguel were dispatched nearly every night but now the instances have slowed to every week or so. You’ve learned a lot about each other and have acclimated well to each other’s presence. His hands swipe away the monitors floating around him as he calls over his shoulder, “Yeah, yeah. Just a second, needy.”

“Needy?! Puh-lease, you would waste away without me.”, you chuckle as your body swings around the entrance to his work area. You cross your arms and lean against the doorway, “Ven a comer.” [Come eat.]

“Sí, Mami.”, he mumbles amusedly, stroking his chin as he stares at the monitors in front of him. [Yes, Mom.]

You chuckle and walk over to him, “Don’t make me drag you out of here.”

He closes the floating screens around him with a flick of his wrist before turning to you with a smirk. His hands rest on his hips as his platform descends to meet you. The soft fizzling in his ears returns as you look up at him with a small, playful smile. The sensation is no longer foreign to him. It’s welcomed now. Warm and comfortable. “Yeah, uh-huh. And how do you suppose you’d do that?”

Your grin is almost mischievous as he finally stands in front of you, “I’d figure it out. I’m very resourceful, you know?”

He nods and begins to walk with you to complete your late-night ritual. “Oh, are you now?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.” You repeat the words he told you from your first night together. At this point, it’s more of an inside joke; a reference that often appears as you two converse.

“I thought you said it was because you were pleasant to be around.”, he hums amusedly.

“Well? Am I?”, you look up at him through your lashes. Your eyes gleam with warmth and he’s not sure if you truly know just how beguiling it is.

He mutters as he avoids your gaze, knowing damn well he wants to say yes, “Don’t fish for compliments.”

“But you would compliment me.”, you state in a way that’s laced with playfulness. You bend a bit at the waist to catch a glimpse of his face with your hands resting neatly upon your lower back.

He meets your teasing gaze for a moment before rolling his eyes, “What’s for dinner?”

He sees your lips curl up in his peripherals before you state nonchalantly, “It’s a surprise.”

“A surprise? What do you mean? What for?”

“What? Don’t you trust me?”, you chuckle in amusement after he rambles a bit. You managed to identify that habit of his despite his general seriousness after the many nights you've spent working together.

“I trust you as far as I can throw you.”, he replies collectedly, or so he hopes.

“Liar.”, you hum with an amused smile on your lips, “Nonetheless, I suppose it’s good that you’re an incredibly strong man that can throw me very, very far.”

You chuckle again as he groans beside you. You’re far too sharp for your own good, having seen right through his strategic word choice. You two enter the terrace and something feels different. The air is a bit warmer tonight. Miguel supposes it’s just that kind of summer night. One where the heat from the day lingers into the late night and rekindles the following morning. His eyes shut for a moment as he absorbs the scent floating around. It’s familiar, it’s… enticing. He blinks softly before turning to you, eyebrows lifting in surprise as he sees that setup you’ve made. Upon the ground is a large blanket with a couple of small pillows. There are a few containers of what he knows is your cooking placed in the center. It’s not extravagant but something does stir in his stomach as he sees you turn to him. You almost look coy as you gesture behind you but your eyes never lack that warmth he knows as yours. “Yeah, it’s a bit silly but… happy 50th successful mission, partner.”

He stiffens at your calm yet happy proclamation. The word partner rattles around his brain for a few moments before the gears in his brain turn again. 50 missions? Have you two truly been on 50 missions already? Oh, who is he kidding? Of course, he knows that already. The two of you have actually been on 58 missions to be exact but they can’t always be successes.

You walk over to pull him gently by the wrist to the blanket, “Come on already. Food’s getting cold.”

He rolls his eyes with a smirk as he indulges your command with reluctance, but only externally.

You let go of his hand and sit at one end of the blanket, “Mira, I made some of your favorites.” You remove the lids of the containers presenting a small variety of his preferred dishes. There’s a smile on your lips as you pull out the final container, presenting it to him with a kind tone of voice, “I even made Stobhach for you. And I’ll let you know I’ve perfected my recipe.”

He can’t help the small curl of his lips as he sits opposite of you. You seem so excited to show him all that you prepared for tonight. It all almost makes him blush. He’s learned fairly early on in your acquaintanceship-turned-friendship that you show affection through care. Especially, by giving someone a home cooked meal. He stares down at the food and hums, “Thank you.”

You return with a hum of your own. Besides the banter and wry humor, words aren’t really necessary between the two of you. You’ve learned to read each other well. Body language, quirks, and even the noises that rumble from each of your chests. It’s almost animalistic in its simplicity. Miguel has come to realize how truly perceptive you can be, similar to himself. You two actually share a lot of similarities like your inquisitive nature and reclusive behavior. And he’s come to the conclusion that that is why you two can exist so harmoniously together. It’s not hard to be around you. To him, your presence is easy.

All I really want is you

What would you do?

You two have been talking for a while, the food long gone and your bellies satiated. There’s a bubble around you two as you converse like you’re in your own little world. 

“Come on. Lay with me.”, you look up at him with warmth in your eyes as you pat the space next to you. He truly can’t find it within himself to deny such a gentle command. He moves to lie next to you and stares up at the few stars that manage to make it through the city’s light pollution. It’s times like these when he ponders upon his actions and realizes how easily he finds himself following your instruction. He’s not upset about it. He just finds it odd although certainly not unwelcome. Truthfully, he’s grateful that he can take your lead and not have to be in charge, even if only for a moment. But these moments fill his chest with something warm. Warm and comfortable are his two choice words to describe you in any situation. Whether it be as you two work in silence in one of the labs or when you patch each other up after rough missions.

Sleeping outside, the moon

Tripping with you

He hears a sweet sigh from your lips as you relax on the blanket next to him. You whisper into the night air with the same gentleness one speaks a secret, “This reminds me of one night when I was a teen. In my universe…”

Miguel’s ears perked a bit as you began. It was very rare for you to speak of yourself, your experiences, or your universe. Every time you did, he was sure to pay attention and commit each word to memory because if you ever spoke of it like this, earnestly and unprompted, it meant you were revealing a part of who you are. That you were trusting him with a part of your very essence. To keep it safe.

“California isn’t gone. There’s a coastal city there called San Francisco that my friends and I traveled to. We spent hours there. We watched the sunset on the bay and the evening fog that rolled in. And eventually, we laid back on the sand and looked up at the stars. Just like this.”

He didn't say anything or make a noise. He just stared up at the stars with you, listening intently.

“I felt so calm that night. I knew in that moment that nothing else mattered. And for the first time, I felt at peace. My whole life I didn’t do much. I stayed at home filling my time with random knowledge and tricks. I avoided people and kept to myself as best as I could because I had learned very young that people were not to be trusted.”

Miguel feels his chest tighten at your words but keeps silent. There’s a darkness that barely laces your voice but it is there. He picks up the sound of hurt in your tone and it grips him tightly. There’s a tumultuous feeling in his stomach. He’s eager to preserve the pieces of yourself that you delicately hand him but it doesn’t change the feeling of helplessness that floods him. Your honesty is encased in sadness, a build-up of fears and insecurity that he’s far too late to have prevented. So he listens because maybe, just maybe, something you reveal to him in these genuine passages of your lore can help him protect the parts of you he keeps.

“I learned that family was everything because family would never hurt you. It’s funny now… Now, I think I’m nothing but a memory yet to be forgotten by them.”

He turns to look at you curiously but the concern is unmistakable in his eyes. Of all the countless nights you’ve spent together, you’re finally revealing why you are the way you are. Why he feels like he knows you without words. Because loss and loneliness radiates off you like bittersweet perfume yet you contain it with walls built of sufferance and capability. He’s always held a certain affinity to you that he could never quite describe until now. Before his thoughts submerge his consciousness, he notices how your eyes are screwed shut and the way your fist is squeezed tightly around the strings of your hoodie. Your clenched fingers resting above your heart almost as if you're quelling pain into passivity.

You sigh quietly as if to prepare yourself for what to say. “Things happen. At one point you think you know where you are. Then you blink and wake up somewhere else entirely.”

There’s a brief pause before your next words. Your eyes slowly flutter open to look up at the stars with glossy eyes and a gentle yet certain voice, “I’m here now and I’m actually very grateful for all that has happened. I’ve learned things I never thought were possible, about reality and the world. About people and about myself.”

He’s a bit surprised as you speak to him with sincerity, “I know I’m strange, Miguel. I know I don't make sense and that I don’t really fit. But you make me feel understood. And you make me feel like I’m not really alone… Thank you.”

You turn to find him staring at you in surprise. Your smile is small but your usual warmth has returned, and truthfully, he thinks that it never left. “Sorry. That was a bit heavy, huh? Just forget I said anything.” You offer with a chuckle before laying back.

All I really want is you

Your eyes are closed as you bask in the moonlight and his eyes travel over you. He takes in the soft curl of your lips and the faint flush on your cheeks from the cool air and candid words. The temperature isn’t too bad but thanks to the extreme altitude of the building, it’s crisp yet foggy. It’s an odd feeling, the air is damp from the clouds rolling through the skyscraper but Miguel feels warm. So soothingly warm. Especially, with you laying so close to him. So earnest and so true. He finds it odd how comforting this feeling is despite it being foreign to him, or rather dormant. He’s astonished by your trust in him. It fills him with something that he wasn’t entirely sure he was missing. Suddenly it's apparent what exactly this feeling is. The same feeling that he's felt for months. And it finally sparks in his mind as you look at him with tired eyes and a warm smile.

I love you. 

All I really want is you

What would you do?

He can nearly taste the words on his tongue but he remains silent as your eyes stare into his. Suddenly he feels very awake as his own thoughts dawn on him. Managing to tear his gaze away from your familiar e/c eyes, he finally speaks as he closes his eyes with a coy smirk.

“Never.”

It’s you. Now, it’s something that’s as certain as fact in his mind. He feels the heat of your hand resting on the blanket between the two of you, right next to his. Right where you belong, he thinks. Right next to him.

All I really want is you

Is you, is you, is you

Appearing near you two and out of sight is Lyla. She watches you two and makes a final checkmark on the chart she pulled from an article months ago, when Miguel was initially questioning his interest in you. She smiles to herself as she looks over the chart then back at you two as you exist in your own little world. The words softly illuminated in the window beside her, Infatuation vs. Love, with all her markings under the latter.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who took the time to read this! Also, big thanks to everyone who voted on my poll regarding this fic. I am open to your opinions and questions! Please feel free to ask me anything!

[darkwitchingflower]

ITS BEEN A WHILE but here's things me and my friends have said as pjo character pt 4/5???

Annabeth: That's not very feminism of you (@wraith--2)

Hestia: maybe build like a life size bread bloke (@carpcranium)

Leo: Feels like my toes are bleeding but it's just cause they're defrosting (@wraith--2)

Percy to annabeth: Nooo pookie don't leave ill get her a spider abortion (friend not on tumblr)

Annabeth: I thought I'd die before seeing common sense in this gc (friend not on tumblr)

Jason: It's not boring to want money and to not be even more mentally ill (@indecisivenb)

Leo: Sure bud (me)

Piper: Jesus was not straight (@wraith--2)

Some random camper in the dining pavillion: Hes staring into my soup (@wraith--2)

Leo: Everyone needs a piece of Leo (friend not on gc)

Leo: Me dehydrated: must not drink sex juice (@wraith--2)

Jason: Me and Percy cockfight like 3 times (@chefchennan)

Piper: Harry x hermione

Ron x jesus or smth

Luna x whoever tf she ended with? (Friend not on tumblr)

Mr D to someone being given a quest: You don't have a choice

They don't have a choice

It's equality all around (me)

Piper: Im not a people pleaser, im a woman pleaser (friend not on tumblr)

Jason (idk why but i instantly thought Jason): saggy balls? (@chefchennan)

Thalia: From your local asexual xx (@wraith--2)

Thalia: Homicide on Pinterest is an interest (@wraith--2)

Chiron: oh that's nice to see! A camper with a smile! (My criminology teacher)

Annabeth: ye I made percy smile by telling him I didn't like him in greek! (Friend not on tumblr)

Apollo: Will! Thoughts on be crime do gay?! (@carpcranium)

Thalia about Frank: Me and him are still friends we shoot kids together yesterday (@chefchennan)

Will doing some form of doctor test idk: I'm gonna skedaddle into your scrotum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: I f**king love garlic bread yummers. Its gotten so bad that I eat is everyday. I sweat garlic butter and shit out logs of bread. It's an endless cycle and I remake the garlic break with what I unleash (friend not on tumblr)

Percy to Annabeth (leo helped after frank found them in the stables): Thine eyes are blessed with the sight of her. Her.

Who I wake to every morning and think of

Who I dream of at night

Aphrodite has forsaken me yet she is my light

The waves will roar and crash

And I know, she is always up for a smash (@wraith--2)

Leo to literally any girl with a pulse: When I see her thoughts are gone

And all I can do is simply long

She could never be mine

Yet still I pine (@wraith--2)

Rachel thinking abiut percy: Days will pass and the sun shall set

All the while I'd place a bet

That I'm still there

Twirling my hair

Dreaming of something that was never fair (@wraith--2)

Thalia: is is the most fun I've had in ages, I'm trying to teach the bot aromanticisum (@wraith--2)

Thalia: As a matter of fact I am definitely aromantic but thanks for the suggestion (@wraith--2)

Leo, he meant to say floppy disks: Have you ever seen one of those floppy dicks-...🤏 (friend not in tumblr)

Mr D: Anyways orgies (@wraith--2)

Will to Nico: She's like nah, no love hearts have an onion were like Shrek now (me)

Percy: When I go to sleep I'm going to dream about gay sea creatures aren't I? (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: It's okay I'm a big girl I cry into my pillow (@wraith--2)

Annabeth: ohhh right in the trust issues (@thatonelazyghost)

[whataboutthefish]

Hi hi! I hope you’re well. I am craving to read omega Steve whose parents don’t allow him to nest. Or Steve’ parents flipping out when they come home unannounced and find his nest. I know you have written a couple of drabbles about nesting, which were all fantastic 😍 but I was wondering if you had any other thoughts or knew of any fics like this? Either way, I hope you have a great day!

Hi nonny!

Thank you for the prompt, I've had a great time whumping the heck out of omega Steve. I hope you enjoy!!

As for other fics, I have to admit I'm a terrible fan and I don't really read a lot of fics at all. I'm stuck in writing mode. But if anyone reading this has recs for Stranger Things nesting fics please comment below!

Now onto the angst

Omega Steve, pre-steddie, alpha Eddie, religious trauma, abuse, neglect, Steve's terrible parents

Words - 2k

Steve knew two things to be true, one- that he was a shame upon his family and two - being a male omega was the mark of the devil. 

He’d been told this since birth, every memory laced with these facts and Steve had watched it proven to be true time and again. Steve was a great shame upon his family and his mother, to have birthed him, there was no sin greater. Steve was taught to atone before he even knew how to tie his shoes. Steve spent a lifetime on his knees praying to a god who saw only evil when he looked upon him. 

He was given no comforts in life, he believed if he gave way to sin then he could bring about the end of times. Steve wanted to try chocolate but he wasn’t evil, he couldn’t do that to the world. 

When Steve’s first heat hit he was so scared, he was home schooled and knew nothing of an omega’s cycle. He ran straight to his mother begging for help as slick ran down his legs and he craved something he couldn’t name. It hurt so bad, and he didn’t understand. His mother tied him to his bed, grasped the family bible to her chest and prayed by his side for two days. 

Steve wasn't allowed a nest, that was a comfort afforded to clean omegas. His mother had been a clean omega- chosen by god- before Steve came and soiled her. Steve was just a stain upon his family. 

His mother still had a nest, it was only right and fitting since Steve’s father as head of the home, deserved the comfort. He would look in at his mothers nest when he could, stolen glances, wishing to reach out to take a piece and take comfort in the scent of family. 

Steve never got to touch though, the door was locked when his parents were not home, and he was alone a lot in that large empty house. The older he got the more he had to repent, the more his body changed, softening and blooming, it was only more proof he hadn’t prayed hard enough, that he was breaking rules. 

Steve thought he knew all the rules, was good at following them to the letter but he must not know them all, it didn’t matter how hard he tried he kept losing. 

His parents started leaving him alone for longer periods, Steve’s father always working and his mother, done with her dirty secret at home went to live a life not weighted down by the blight that was her son. He was sent him to public school then.

High school was so much more than he could have imagined, he was shy at first everything so new and strange, people acting like this was real life, like they didn’t have a the weight of sin laying on their shoulders. 

Then Steve actually started to make friends, first was Robin, a sweet beta that had a sharp whit and even sharper tongue. Then there was Tommy and his girlfriend an alpha pair that Steve couldn’t even begin to understand, who were both a bit brash but Steve loved how easily they swore, it made him blush bright every single time. Nancy was Steve’s first omega friend, he had his first sleep over at her house, his heart hammering in his chest when her beta boyfriend Jonathan climbed through the window with a movie and snacks.

And then there was Eddie, an alpha who somehow subverted every societal norm and still command the room. Steve blushed bright red every time the alpha looked his way, Robin swore Steve had a crush, but Steve wasn’t sure. There was no way an alpha would want someone like him, no matter how often Eddie seemed to hang around when Steve was there. Even as he made friends and learned more about the world, he was still the stain upon his family. 

Steve learned to forge his mothers signature to join sports teams, he knew it was wrong but he wasn’t hurting anyone, surely it wasn’t the worst sin. Steve felt out of his depth for every minute of it, continually waiting for the other shoe to drop and yet it didn’t. He found he was good at sports, his friends were so encouraging, his couch put him in the game early and the fact he was an omega never seemed to work against him. 

Of course when his heat his mother returned, calling in to school for him then strapping him down to his bed and leaving him to ride out the pain alone. Steve was always so aware of her presence so close but nowhere in reach. When his heat was over his mother left, barely a word spoken, no indication of when she’d be back. 

Somehow this time it hurt so much more, now Steve knew what connection felt like, he’d seen his friends with their families, saw the touches and the way they scented one another, he saw comfort asked for a given freely. The stark comparison to his own life hurt like a knife to the heart. 

As his friendships bloomed it also came with gifted nest items. A common practice among friends was to share scented items for one anothers nests. Steve took these items, treasured them and began to slowly assemble a nest. Hidden in the base of his closet he surrounded himself in the scents of his friends. His most treasured item, a shirt from Eddie, his scent felt like coming home, if Steve was honest he was obsessed with Eddie’s scent.

He went to the mall and bought a couple of blankets and a body pillow that was so soft Steve never wanted to let go, letting himself give in to the need within him, a need he hadn’t realised he’d had. What he thought was just a constant state of unease from holding the sin of the devil turned out to be his inner omega in pain. He bought a bunch of cheap shirts that he pushed into his nest for a couple of weeks before he was able gift them to his friends. The joy he saw when they received the gifts made Steve question everything his mother had ever said. 

And the way Eddie’s nostrils flared and eyes darkened did things to Steve and had him running to the bathroom when he felt wetness pool between his legs. Robin had followed him, talked him down from a panic attack as he curled into a ball on the filthy floor in a bathroom stall

Steve started to question everything his mother had claimed, because surely people wouldn’t want the scent of evil in their nests, and yet they eagerly took his offered items. 

Questioning his mother’s words like this was ultimately a mistake because Steve started to relax, he became careless at home. Leaving the door to his nest open, letting items spill out as he stretched out in his nest. He started to scent mark the house, it was all unconscious actions but finally his omega was allowed some comfort and naturally that comfort spilled into every aspect of his life. 

The day Steve had finally let Robin scent him, he’d melted into the touch as the beta rubbed her cheek against Steve’s, it was nothing more than a comfort and friendship, nothing sexual about it. Steve felt bouant as he drove home, he’d never imagined how amazing holding someone elses scent on his skin could feel and he couldn’t wait to get home and roll around in his nest, sharing that scent so it would last longer. 

The way his whole world came crashing to a halt when he drove up to his house. His father’s car sat in the driveway, the lights in the house shining through the windows and when he glanced to his bedroom window his stomach dropped. The light was on, and he could see the silhouette of a person standing in the room. 

Steve opened the door, shrinking in on himself when he heard the lines of scripture falling angrily from his mothers mouth. He thought he might be sick when he heard the sound of shredding fabric, blindly running up to his room, falling to his knees when he saw what was happening inside. 

His mother was destroying his nest, her sewing shears rending it to shreads as she tore into the fabric. Her words tumbled into tongues compelled by the spirit spitting and baring her teeth as Steve shook and cried bent over in supplication, neck bared and utterly helpless. 

That night his mother spilled rice across the hardwood floor in the cold kitchen, pushed Steve to his knees and watched while he prayed the entire night. His legs had gone to sleep hours ago, the pain that struck like needles into his knees and shins by the end the pain came in waves as he swayed on his knees fighting sleep, repeating the prayers until the sun came up. 

Steve was sent to school with no sleep, it was Eddie that saw him attempt to hobble his way into the school, it was Eddie that ushered him into the back of his van with little effort. Steve was barely a shell of himself, his scent dulled and mind clouded in a fog of fatigue and pain. Steve didn’t speak, only pulled the leg of his pants up and allowed Eddie to help pick the rice from his skin. They didn’t go to school that day, instead Eddie drove out to lovers lake and let Steve curl up into his side and sleep. 

Steve wakes with a fright shooting upright and unsure where he is until Eddie’s deep purr comes from behind him and Steve turns to see Eddie relaxed back against a pile of blankets in the back of his van. He knows he has to go home, his thoughts are still sluggish his head still full of fog but his body has stopped aching and some part inside of him feels so much more at ease than ever before. He’s never slept so easily, even if he was sleep deprived the level of comfort he feels right now is so overwhelming he doesn’t really know how to process it. 

Eddie drives him back to school and Steve’s car, Steve doesn’t think twice when Eddie leans in to scent him, Steve melts into the touch and whines when Eddie pulls away. Eddie promises to be here tomorrow, that Steve can get through this. Steve doesn’t let himself linger on the reality, that Eddie is in no position to promise those things, instead he holds the promises against his heart and dares to hope. 

When he gets home though all of that disappears. His mother and father were sat at the dinning table with a priest. The shreds of Steve’s nest lay on the table along with forged notes and what looks like the contents of his gym bag. When he gets close enough he see’s the three of them scent the air. 

Steve arrives scenting so thoroughly of an alpha that even his father begins to shout, his mother prays rocking back and forth and the priest, he has a look of danger in his eyes, a look that has Steve’s hindbrain in a panic, a look that promises pain. 

Eddie waits for Steve the next day and next and the day after that, he waits every day for a week, before he dares to drive past Steve’s house. A for sale sign hangs in the yard and the place is dark. Steve’s friends do their best to search for him, but they are young and their resources are limited. It doesn’t stop Eddie from waiting just an extra few minutes every morning, search the car park for any sign of Steve. 

It doesn’t stop Eddie from travelling the country, moving from job to job searching, always searching for the chance that he might see that brown haired omega that could have been his.

[the-starry-seas]

what's one of your fics i could binge tonight?

hmmm, what are you in the mood for?

running with the wolves to get to you, 10k, rated G

Jango and Obi-Wan have been keeping an important secret as their relationship develops, which is that they’re both werewolves. Besides that minor detail, things are going great – at least until their car breaks down on a road trip and the only place they have to stay is an abandoned hotel. The day before Halloween. Which is on a full moon. No way this could go wrong, right?

who you are makes me who i am, 10k, rated G

Boba isn’t the kind of person who forms connections with people. ‘Friends’ are a foreign concept, and the idea of love is even more confusing. Then he saves a woman’s life, and she saves his, and he starts to wonder if it’s all as strange to him as he thinks.

the arms of the ocean delivered me, 11k, rated G

Two years ago, Echo was badly injured by humans, and taken to the Skako Minor aquarium. It's only after he's lost all hope that he finally has a chance to get home, thanks to meeting the Batch - the only other merpeople he's seen since losing his family. When the Batch drops everything to protect him and get him home, is it really any surprise that he wants them to stay?

ghosts have voices, 16k, rated T

Still reeling from Order 66, Obi-Wan finds an even bigger problem on Mustafar: a powerful Dark Side entity that feeds on the life force of Jedi. He’s lucky to escape with baby Luke and Leia, but his regret at their parents’ deaths isn’t the only thing that follows him from the lava moon. The entity is on the hunt. Stranded on a poisonous planet, the odds of surviving aren’t in Obi-Wan’s favour. At least he has an ally in Cody – but even if they manage to escape, Obi-Wan doesn’t know how to ask the man he secretly loves to stay.

if i don't make it back from where i've gone, just know i loved you all along, 23k, rated T

A movie AU where Leonardo travels back in time with Casey. Because even though Leonardo doesn’t want to live any more, Casey doesn’t want to give up on him, and maybe, just maybe, Casey has enough hope for both of them. Or, from my rambling while planning this fic: “future Leo is just so much fun because he's spent the past 22 years demonising his past self for starting the apocalypse but then when he travels back in time to the day it happened so he can stop it, he realises his past self was just a dumb naive kid who had no idea of the potential consequences, so future Leo decides to be gentle with him and it's the only self-love he's ever had because he's always hated himself a little”. As well as “Leonardo trying to break the cycle by being kind to his past self (while still hating his current self) makes me want to put him in therapy and I think makes Dr Delicate Touch want to use him as a piñata”.

this family can bear any weather, 30k, rated G

When Donnie gets his hands on the Arc Capacitor after the events of Out of the Shadows, he decides to repurpose the tech for his own use. Unfortunately the first test run doesn't go well, and he's accidentally transported to a different dimension. His first thought is to find the new reality's version of Donnie, so they can work together to find him a way back home, but while trying to find their lair, he finds a much different version of his brothers instead. At eight, nine, and ten years old, the young turtles are hopelessly lost in the sewers beneath the city, and their only chance at getting home is Donnie. Between finding a way to get four lost turtle kids back to their dad, and finding a way to get himself back to his own reality, he's got a lot to do. AKA the Rise/Bayverse crossover that exactly nobody asked for but I'm writing all the same. Updating Fridays.

Clever Girl, 50k, rated T

A year after defeating Commander Krang, the turtles discover that the Foot Clan intends to bring Shredder back to life. Hoping to stop this plan before it begins, they travel to a secret base, looking for the intended project head, Baxter Stockman. They find the base, they don't find Stockman, and more important than either of those things, they find dinosaurs. Four turtles, four Utahraptors - what could go wrong?

or if you really want a long read, one of my favourites:

two's company, three's a crowd, four's a love story, 91k, rated T

post-BOBF canon Din Djarin/Omera/Cobb Vanth/Paz Vizsla

There’s some BOBF spoilers/references in here, and it's set post-show, but tbh you probably won’t be able to tell canon from headcanon unless you’ve seen the show and know the difference already. Boba, Fennec, the Armorer, and Luke Skywalker make brief appearances in a few scenes. Anyway this is just me in denial of Paz’s BOBF characterization and the fact that Cobb and Omera have only existed for like 15 minutes total in live action. Welcome to my immense amount of headcanons! The majority of this fic is from Din's POV, but there's also a few chapters each from Paz's, Omera's, and Cobb's POV.

[mrsnancywheeler]

ommggg i read let me down easy today and i kept re-reading it bc its TOO GOOD AHH !!🦅🦅

it hurt so much but im a whore for angst first, and a human second🫶

just thinking about the reader suffering in silence because she feels guilty for having any negative feelings towards finnick :(( the way she dismisses those feelings bc she thinks that whatever she’s going through is nothing compared to what he’s been through :((

also thinking abt finnick’s slow realization that she’s suffering because of him :(( like the incident at the market is when he began to notice the changes :(( and later when he fully understands how his behavior affected her IT MESSES HIM UP SO BAD

i just know he was remembering his past interactions with reader (where she breaks the glass / when she rejected his money at the pearl necklace stand) AND CRINGING …and it only gets worse when reader spills her guts about what she went through. omg ik he was sick.

another #thougjt i had was how this might mess up the reader for a bit after too #idk (that just might be me tho lmaoo) bc i feel like once you’ve been in that cycle of feeling depressed/insecure for so long it’s hard to snap out of, even with constant reassurance 😔

But maybe that’s just my angsty side talking HAHA

but i loved this fic, 11/10🫶

-🦅

omg yes, literally my favorite thing I've ever written. ik I wrote it, but it's the only thing of mine I reread bc it's like the perfect expression of how I feel, like if I could represent myself in one fic it would be that one if that makes any sense. it's like a concept that always haunts my mind no matter what I'm hyperfixating on maybe because I'm just like melancholy like that 🎀🎀🎀

but thank you so much, I'm literally so glad people are enjoying it because it literally is my own roman empire

yes she wants to be angry, she is angry, but refuses to let herself be because his issues are what she needs to prioritize. how can she be angry when he is constantly suffering? even if it's not so slowly tearing her apart, like a piece of paper sitting in water, she's trying to stay connected for the illusion of it all, to be strong for him.

her being loving isn't new to him, so he isn't thrown off by that, only slightly confused by her waking up earlier then usual. so her gifts have little bearing when he's used to it and he really doesn't want to feel loved right now because he's trying to reject whatever will make him seek comfort. when she starts changing her clothes and makeup, it's different, but he's not responsive because she's always been his pretty girl and always will be, her buying new clothes doesn't make him perceive her any differently or wonder if there's a reason, people try out new things.

when he notices how other peoples interactions with her have changed that's when he really starts to notice, if everyone else perceives her as melancholy then something has to be wrong. even if he's not quick to point the finger back to himself. he tries gifts, maybe she wouldn't buy something because she wanted him to do it, some sort of attention, but it's not big enough part of the issue to have any bearing on the effects it's now had on her. the girl rotting depression era shall we say. eventually through that, what people say to him, self-reflection he gains full consciousness of what he's been doing, how he's been hurting the person he loves so much. and the guilt is incomprehendable.

how could he be so selfish? so closed off as not to process all the clear cries for help? thinking about how he was getting annoyed, feeling like she was being moody when she insisted on doing the dishes until the dish broke. how she ran out into the ocean, in the rain without a care to regain some sense of composure, composure to try and make him happy. then the necklace thing, how could he miss her clearly trying just to be with him, be near him, have the interactions with him that he was giving to the girl at the shop instead? he was so unresponsive to the emotional needs he just assumed it to be a material need that he was willing to give. so when she rejects the money it just doesn't compute, to buy it she needs it, and then she tries to send the message that buying something isn't what she's asking for but he misses it completely. he gets snappy and it snaps her.

so when he's finally talking to her, he needs her to tell him the truth, the nuances because he's been so blind to all of it. he needs to know how he hurt her and it really is like a full wake up call. he can't let his own trauma consume him, allowing it to traumatize her in different ways. like when she mentions her getting to the point of just wanting him to want her body if he wouldn't want her because that's how people perceive him, that's what was hurting him, but he inadvertently made her feel that way. it breaks him to think that he did that to her, that he hurt his girl that way. then the idea that she would have let him cheat on her, she would've picked being with him over her own well-being, well she did, and he doesn't deserve that. he can't fathom how he could be with someone who loves him so blindly as to choose being with a ghost of him over not having him at all, when she deserves so much better. when he has been so callous with such a precious kind of love. or the fact that he even made it seem like he had interest in anyone but her.

there will be a fluffy, smutty requested sequel but readers issues afterwards will be lightly touched upon in it. but yes, she would have to spend so much time mending her relationship with herself afterwards. he's totally on hand and knee trying to make it up to her, to prove how much he loves and needs her, to give the attention she deserves. but she's still paranoid about cheating, insecure, scared, even if she tries to mask it. but he knows. he could, and does, spend hours praising her, telling her how pretty she is, how she's the only one, how sorry he is, how much he adores her, but it doesn't stop the nagging voice in the back of her head. she tries to hide it but she's clingier and he's okay with that, she needs him more.

but yes there's lots of long term effects the incident has on there relationship. and they have to try and navigate that together.

thank you pookie, I love your thoughts sm 💋💋💋💋💋💋

[shopwitchvamp]

Hello! You can ignore this if the subject is too personal, but I saw you mention that you got a hysterectomy. I've been wanting to get one for awhile for a variety of reasons (no desire to have children, wanting to permanently stop periods, ect) and I was wondering if there was anything I should know about it that isn't talked about a lot?

Yeah I had one at 25 after yearssss of medical horrors. It's a lot and probably a good deal of people don't wanna read my nightmares so-

I had absolutely life ruining periods from endometriosis/PCOS, and I also never wanted children, but couldn't stay on BC to control any of those things because I found out at 21 that it was making my cholesterol sky high. I then spent a few years being truly, literally insane because I was going off and on birth control of various types every few months to try to find anything that wouldn't give me high cholesterol. Drs were like oh maybe the patches will bypass whatever weird mechanism is making this happen, maybe nuvaring, maybe progesterone only, maybe the hormonal IUD, etc etc.

I'd rather not get into what exactly led to finally getting the hysterectomy (extremely traumatic..) but I don't mind talking about the hysterectomy itself.

All I really have to say is that I have ZERO regrets and that my life has improved DRAMATICALLY since getting the hysterectomy. I had a partial so I still have ovaries, which means still having issues from PCOS, still having a hormonal cycle, still dealing with PMDD at times, etc. But given all of the issues I'd had with hormonal BC I didn't want to have my ovaries removed and need to rely on taking hormones forever when they might have caused me more problems. This is an issue very very specific to me tho.

But yeah, before the hysterectomy I used to spend 7-10 days each month-ish incapacitated by nightmare periods, and then very often end up sick (like with a cold or sinus infection or strep throat) afterwards because my body was so weakened. The only thing that had helped before was being on the kind of BC pills you take for like 3 months straight with no breaks so that you skip periods. But once I found out about the cholesterol problem, well. They just cycled me on and off a bunch of different options while doing frequent blood tests, and then in the end were like "idk guess you just have to live with it forever." Until the obgyn I'd been seeing since I was 17, who had witnessed 8 years of my suffering and already done 2 surgeries on me, was finally willing to just do a hysterectomy back in 2016.

I hear that maybe it's a bit easier these days to find a doctor willing to perform a hysterectomy, but I can't say I know much about the process. If you're on the hunt I think maybe like the childfree subreddit has a list of doctors?

If you have any kind of more specific question I guess lemme know. I'm not sure what people do or don't talk about when it comes to this stuff, but I really don't have any negatives to report, which I mainly credit to not getting a total hysterectomy (so no early menopause issues, etc). (EDIT: just fyi anyone reading this, I've muted notifcations because while I don't mind talking about this it isn't exactly something I want popping up into my awareness every few minutes 😅 if you leave any comments or reblog tags it's totally fine, just know that I won't see them. thanks for understanding!)

[sandiavolo]

*Important Update*

Warning: long rants ahead.

Contents Ahead (skip ahead if you want, pls):

Apologies

Thank You's

Avatar 3 News

As the Ash Cloud Passes Over Update

Greetings and salutations all! I would like to start out by saying I am so so so sorry for disappearing for awhile. To put it quite simply, I have no excuses to make nor reasons to claim behind my lack in progress. I have had so much time these last two months to write, and I somehow fell into a constant cycle of procrastination and forgetfulness where I was completely aware of what I was doing. It's not that I even fell off the Avatar fandom or was busy, I'm just a terrible writer (it's natural for me to be overtly honest with myself, I swear it's not worrisome at all!) BUT I am so happy to let y'all know I've gotten back in the groove! Inspiration has hit me hard, and I feel the need to type like there's no tomorrow. Again, I am so sorry for anyone who's ask I may have missed/comment I may not have replied to/or question I left unanswered 🙏

First off, lemme just say this. @anka-partizanka-from-pandora is the SINGLE GREATEST ARTIST AND PERSON I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF WORKING WITH! Truthfully, they deserve your love, you guys! I do not care if it gets tiring or old to hear, b/c I mean it with my entire heart when I say Anka has been holding me up in times of writers block and troubles with writing. They are my partner, friend, & inspiration. I love ya, Anka 💙

I recently saw the videos and images for Avatar 3 and I just gotta say...LET'S. FREAKING. GOOOOOOOOOO!!!! The Ash Clan is sheer horror and I am already in love! The flying creatures are insanely awesome, especially the Medusa floating ship, LIKE WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?! I DON'T KNOW BUT I LOVE IT! And lastly, I'm just gonna put this out there, VARANG HAS LITERALLY STOLEN MY HEART! Sharp claws, frilled headress, a cloak of severed kurus (possibly)?! SLAY QUEEN! I genuinely don't think I will be able to root agasint her, but we'll see. And I do think I will be trying to change up a few things to include what little info we have gotten so far. It's just too good to pass up on!

I am proud to announce that As the Ash Cloud Passes Over Ch. 14 will be published very, very soon. I mean within the next few days 😁 It has been so long, so I plan to send this one off with a bang. I'm talking angst, lore, action, a sick splash of Ash Na'vi Spider, the whole she-bang! And tomorrow, there will even be a special sneak peak!

That is all I wish to say! Now, I must welcome the glorious hug of unconsciousness that is my slumber. I want to go out by saying (to whoever reads this): thank you so much 🙏 This is still a pleasure in my life, and seeing my story grow even without me means everything. But, in all facuality, you guys are my everything. I know we have had our break-ups and silent treatments, but I'll always love you guys 💙💙💙 Have a great day, grab an ice cold tea, and enjoy life y'all!