#thank u tho!! for the compliments and whatnot its all very sweet

[terrorizings]

hey i just fell down one of the most bizarre rabbit holes i’ve ever fallen down that began with a tiktok ai reading an r/amitheasshole reddit post and ended with whatever this puppet sex homestuck arg (?) was. Having spent the last two full hours absolutely enraptured with this series of blogs, i was wondering if anyone involved in this bro strider muppet nonsense knows @the-muppet-joker or who’s behind that account, or if he’s just an unrelated guy that just so happened to frequently reblog and interact with the 6 of you guys. I have significant reason to believe that blog is another elaborate bit (as it’s the reason i got here) so it would be really fucking funny if whoever runs that account (be they genuine or not) just so happened to stumble upon your shitposts while searching for horny muppet posts and started reblogging then. either way props to you for doing all of this and good luck on whatever daisy brown alantutorial shit you wind up making next because you are all definitely going places. sending this ask to all of you individually btw.

I think I may have been the first of the blogs to get interacted with by the muppet joker, as I received an ask from him relatively early into my blogs tenure and simply let it steep until the other folk started hitting his line and interacting with him. That being said!

No fucking clue who that dude is.

I assumed it was all a very elaborate bit since it's all within the same realm of internet-referencing (particularly, tumblr related internet-referencing in the realm of making wide gestures towards things like tumblr sexymen and error sans from error(??) undertale) bullhockey as every ambitious blog parodying weird fetishes. In combination with his interests being specifically two bastions of internet memes, the joker and kermit the frog, I think he's just a guy who's really committed to the bit.

That also being said.

I got an ask saying he'd gone crazy and was actually doing crazy shit, so. I don't know! Maybe he is just a genuine guy. But I sure don't know who he is and he sure didn't have anything to do with my stuff.

[redheadedpineapple]

hiiii can i request a hc where the haikyuu characters comfort a s/o that feels insecure about being fat?? and like theyre sporty and take care of themselves but people still assume that theyre lazy and dont take care of themselves??? :(( with bokuto, akaashi and sugawara pls. you dont have to do it if its too much tho, also thank you so much for your headcanons they make me really happy and i lowkey wanna be your friend 👉👈 🤧💕💖

Haikyuu bois comforting insecure!Reader

YES I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AA  also you’re too sweet please be my friend ><

Haikyuu bois comforting insecure!Reader Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji, Sugawara Koushi GN!Reader

──────〔Bokuto Koutarou〕──────

is super oblivious to your insecurities at first

like, he just wouldn’t understand how someone as pretty as you could be insecure!

precious boy thinks surely no one could think ill of you

so when he sees you lightly hugging yourself and wearing loose clothing, he’s confused

he thinks maybe you’re just feeling ill or something, so he’ll take care of you and double and triple check you’re feeling a-ok

like,,, he genuinely thinks you look so stunning

he might not be the articulate type to lay it on smooth and tell you, but sometimes it’s refreshing to not have to worry about whether or not he’s being truthful

when you crack and ask him if he’s okay with you “looking like that” he picks you up and twirls you around

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t I be happy my partner looks like an absolute model?” He’s genuinely confused, and the sincerity of his tone is more than you could ever ask. 

“I just… I mean, everyone else thinks I’m… fat and lazy… That I don’t do anything for you...” You mumble the last bits, ashamed of yourself because they’re right, aren’t they?

He tilts his head like a lost pup. “They must be stupid. Or blind. Actually, probably both,” he decides confidently, nodding to himself. “No lazy person could go on adventures with me or make me those yummy homemade bentos!”

“You think so?”

“Absolutely!” 

He pulls you into his chest and hugs you tight. When it comes to your next date night, he makes you feel like you’re the most beautiful person in the world, which probably plays into the fact he definitely thinks you are! He cuddles you and kisses you all over while watching a bunch of your favourite movies. 

He makes sure to reassure you in new ways a bunch how much he loves you! He tries to make you homemade sweets (which fail a bit, but it leads to you two baking together!) and will make those cool, unfolding boxes with a bunch of things written on the sides that he loves about you. Bo loves you to death for everything you are, and would scream it out to the world if he could!

──────〔Akaashi Keiji〕──────

he’s keen, he knows what others say

when he catches you eating smaller portions or hiding yourself in crowds, he understands exactly why

he likely won’t confront you directly unless it turns into something major

instead, he’ll start leaving little notes or little gifts around to make you feel better about yourself

start taking initiative in some things he would usually feel too shy for

will cuddle you outta nowhere, kisses you on your shoulders and hands and forehead and neck

while he’s reading or doing something independent, he’ll go out of his way to be near you or in the same room while he does it

holds your hands outta nowhere too, rubs your hand with his thumb

if he can, he’ll braid and play with your hair

starts speaking his mind more on how you look and all that

when you ask him about the whispers and how other people think, he’ll kiss you on the forehead and reassure you like a got damb speecher, articulate as fuhck

“Darling, you’re very healthy and do so much good for your body. It doesn’t matter how you look. Even if you do look absolutely stunning.” He pulls you into a hug and hums, content.

“Thanks baby… You really think so?”

“Of course. People who say that are probably skinny through pure luck despite how much junk food they shove in their face and how much time they spend on their asses watching reality TV shows for genuine entertainment.”

You can’t help but chuckle. 

“There’s that smile I love to see.”

He holds you close when you two go out, and if you feel sad again or poorly about yourself, he makes sure to remind you of how much you’ve grown and achieved, telling you how proud he is of you and how much he loves you for who you are and how you look. He always makes sure to avoid any words or topics he knows will make you doubt yourself, relishing in the smiles you give him.

──────〔Sugawara Koushi〕──────

0 tolerance for people who slander you,,,

like are they blind??? stupid?? braindead?? LOOK AT YOU look at how PRETTY you are!

will speak his mind whenever he thinks you look nice, which is multiple times a day

when you look at him like ??? he just goes “oh, you looked like a movie character just then, like really crazily pretty just cleaning the dishes.” 

he 100% buys you clothes that show your form, and he’ll tell you how much he just wants to see you

when you bring up how you feel about others’ murmurings and whatnot, he proteccs you like a true boyfie

will shower you in compliments and lovingly snuggle you in every way possible until you understand how beautiful your body is

When you talk to him about your insecurities, he’s devastated you have to feel like that, but he thanks you for trusting him and promises he’s not going to hurt you. Instead, he brushes his thumb over your cheek and listens to you and talks when there’s breaks.

“Sweetheart, they don’t know anything about us. It’s us two, not us two and also 10 other weirdos who can’t mind their own business. And between you and I, I love how you look. Who cares if you have fat on your tummy and arms and hips? It’s cute and I love getting to cuddle your soft body. And it’s not like you’re unhealthy. You take care of yourself, and I’m so proud of you for that.”

Him acknowledging it and loving you anyway has you melting into him, and you can’t help but want to kiss him and hold him tight forever. 

“I love you Koushi, I’m so lucky to have you.”

And he’ll scold you because he’s the lucky one to be with someone like you, and he won’t let you forget it in the way he kisses you softly and murmurs sweet nothings half asleep and holds you close to sway back and forth, clumsily dancing to a playlist he made just for you.