#thank u for this ask i was crying laughing reading it to my roommates this made my night

[castielsparkle]

haai do you have that gif of that gay as fuck horse prancing about

WHY OF COURSE . YOUVE COME TO JUST THE RIGHT PLACE

[angelsmist]

JUST ONE NIGHT

HBCU!SHURI X READER

prompt: your roommate convinces to go out for once with a few “friends” who aren’t exactly fond of you. unfortunately, they take it a bit too far…

contains: drinking, crying, fluff at the end, partying, anxiety

disclaimers - this is not my idea!! all credits to @/ vargskelegore for hbcu shuri. it is an amazing idea. however, the storyline is mine. also, i would prefer if only black people read this story, simply because it is a reader insert specifically for us. thank you <3

this got sooo long but i don’t feel like splitting it into two LMFAOOO and if u can’t tell i started rushing by towards the end 💀

“come on, girl. it’s a good chance to get to know other people.”

“i’m cool with the people i know now,” you told tati , resisting her grip on you. “plus, i need to-”

“study?” she finished for you. “we not doing that today. it’s a friday night and that excuse is overused.”

“overused, but good.”

“just go out this one time, and if you don’t enjoy your night, then i’ll never ask you again,” tati bargained, tugging your shoulder.

“parties are crowded, sweaty, and loud,” You began. “all of which are things i don’t like.”

“pleaseeee…” she dragged out, tugging on your shoulder even harder. tati was relentless, and you knew going out with her at some point was something that was inevitable.

“i don’t have anything to wear.”

“oh, girl. you know i always have something for you.”

you wore a black, strapless, sparkly dress that hugged your body in ways that you weren’t entirely comfortable with. regardless, though, you looked amazing. as much as you hated to admit it, tati may have been right.

along with your dress, you wore black heels with black lace swirling around your leg, stopping below your knee. tati had supplied you with some perfume that came with body glitter, so you were glimmering, literally.

“quit being shy,” tati complained, rolling her eyes at you pushing up your dress. she squinted her eyes, a teasing smile on her face. “show them titties.”

a laugh escaped your lips, but you tried your best to remain still since she was doing your makeup.

she finally stopped, turning you back around to the lit up mirror so you’d see what she did. “alright, all done-” the doorbell rang, grabbing her attention easily. “that must be them! meet me outside when you’re done.”

tati was inviting her girlfriend, along with her girlfriend’s friends. you liked her girlfriend, syniah. she was a kind person. you couldn’t say the same for her friends, though. you didn’t hang out with them often, and that was intentional. they didn’t like “outsiders” or some shit like that, so whenever you hung out with them, they’d be closed off. you never really cared, though. you always had tati with you whenever you were around them, and it’s not like you liked them, anyways.

that’s why you were skeptical about going to a party with them. but, as long as you had tati, you were sure you’d be fine.

your phone dinged, snapping you from your thoughts. it was shuri.

princess 💕

hey, do you mind if we study tonight? that history test we have on monday is stressing me out a bit

with smile on your face, you texted back.

you

while i would much prefer to do that, i promised my roommate that i’d go out with her and some other people. i’m probably gonna end up bailing within an hour, though. so if you’re not asleep by then, i’ll text you fs

princess 💕

you? going to a party? what kind of universe have i been transferred to?

you

ha ha😒. i’ll send you pictures as proof if ur not convinced

princess 💕

i’ll be counting on that 😪

you grabbed your black purse, placing your phone in it while walking out of your dorm. waiting for you, was tati, syniah, and her three other friends.

“took you long enough,” one of them, who you remembered as kendall grumbled.

“beauty takes time,” tati spoke for you, moving from beside her girlfriend to grab your hands. “and by that, i mean i did her makeup and picked out this outfit, so y’all better hype her up.”

“you look amazing,” syniah complimented before turning to her girlfriend. “and you, you are doing my birthday makeup.”

“as if that was ever a question,” tati replied, placing a kiss on her lips.

your face twitched and scrunched up in fake disgust. “don’t forget about the other four people here.”

tati broke the kiss, cutting her eyes at you. “this could be you and you-know-who if you wasn’t so scary.”

you cut your eyes right back at her. before you could scold her for even mentioning shuri, another one of syniah’s friends, madison, beat you to it. “who? the princess?”

you and your roommate exchanged looks, sharing the same irritated expression. you replied to her first. “nah. me and shuri just friends. why?”

“i just be seeing y’all around campus laughing and stuff, so i thought you two go together,” she explained. “if not, though. you can put me on, right?”

you refrained from lunging at the girl. she barely looked your way, now she was asking you to put her on with the girl you liked? “i’ll try, but shuri don’t go for that stuff. you gotta get to know her, you know? just say hi to her on campus or something. i’m not a messenger.”

“it sound like you feeling her, but ight.”

“okay, we’re gonna be later than we already are,” syniah interjected, seeing that you were getting visibly upset. “we should get to the car.”

everyone agreed, going towards the exit of the place. tati stayed behind, waiting for you so she could say a few words. “let’s not cause a stir tonight, alright?”

“then tell that girl to mind her damn business,” you retorted, getting a bit heated. “she talking like she know shit.”

“you know what? just stick by me for the rest of the night. i’ll make sure none of them come near you.”

you breathed in and out deeply, attempting to calm yourself. you were going out, and causing a fight, whether it be physically or verbally, was not on your list. “that’s the plan.”

well, you can proudly say that tati was right. maybe too right.

you were actually having a really good time. you didn’t think you’d be drinking that might, but you got a bit cuaght up and did a few rounds of shots.

even syniah’s friends were fun. they were assholes most of the time, but they knew how to have a good time. maybe they weren’t so bad.

you could not be more wrong.

“hey, do you guys know where tati went?” you inquired, realizing that she was nowhere to be found. she had been by your side all night, so you didn’t blame her for wanting to have fun on her own. you were just growing worried.

kyah turned to you, looking around. “uhh, i don’t know. she’s probably with syniah.”

your nerves were eased for only a moment, when you saw syniah approaching from a distance. and tati nowhere to be found. you became worried, once again.

“oh,” kyah frowned, sitting up from the couch you all were on. “i guess not.”

madison sat up. “i think i heard tati say she was going to the kitchen for another drink. you can check there.”

you picked up your purse from your lap, hanging the strap of it on your shoulder, and stood from the couch. you weren’t too fond of the idea of getting lost in a sweaty crowd looking for your friend, but tati could be in the same situation, and you didn’t like the idea of her being by herself considering the fact you told her that you didn’t wanna be alone. you began to walk, but you were stopped by kendall who had stood up as well.

she looked apologetic for some reason. you were too intoxicated to care at the moment. “maybe i’ll come with you. you’re drunker than all of us, so-”

kyah interrupted the girl, handing you a bottle of water. “she’ll be fine. i need your help with something. remember, ken?” she turned back to you.

you shook off their weird behavior because, well, you were drunk. “i’ll be fine. just check your phones in case i call.”

with that, you walked off, beginning to search for your roommate.

you knew calling her name aloud would do no good, seeing as lil baby was blasting in your ears and everyone else’s.

you made your way through the crowd, constantly apologizing for bumping into others until you made it to the kitchen.

much to your dismay, tati wasn’t there. you figured she had left, but after asking a few people, she apparently hadn’t been there at all.

you decided to go back to the couch, to question the girls, but they weren’t there either. the thought of them setting you up flew into your mind, but you didn’t think they’d go that far.

although, it did make sense. why kendall seemed sorry before you left to find tati. still you held out hope that all the fun you had that night with them wasn’t just to get you by yourself.

in the middle of the never-ending crowd, you opened your water bottle, only to have it thrown to the ground because of someone bumping into you. stupidly, you squatted down to retrieve the only thing that could sober you up just a little, but you were knocked off your feet by the mindlessly swaying guests at the party.

you tried to shout to get someone to stop and help you up so you wouldn’t get tramped alive, but the music seemed to increase every time you spoke. you couldn’t tell if that was actually happening, or if your brain created that illusion.

thankfully, a stranger noticed you and helped you up from the floor. after muttering a quick thank you, you departed from them, still in search of the people you came with.

you dug into your purse, frantically searching for your phone. once you found it, you firstly dialed tati’s number. voicemail.

then syniah’s. voicemail.

then kendall’s. voicemail.

you didn’t bother with the other girls. there was no point and you had figured it out already, even though you were drunk and your brain was slowly shutting down. you had been set up. you had nothing to wake you up, and the effects of the drinks you had were already starting to weigh in even more.

your eyes began to water and you felt a lump forming in your throat. your fingernails dug into the palm of your hands as you bit back a sob. “shit, shit, shit, shit.”

this place was too big, and truthfully, you were too scared to start looking around. you could find yourself in places that you wouldn’t wanna be.

you were hurt. that tati could be in on something like this. she made a promise to ensure you enjoyed your night, now she was apart of the very reason why it was ruined.

you let your tears fall freely, not wanting your vision to blur even more than it already was beginning to. not a single person in the crowd noticed your sobs over the loud music. you continued walking until you were outside of the house and away from the property as a whole since there were still people outside.

you stopped a few blocks away, plopping down on a curb. you cried the entire time while walking there, but you let your loud sobs out once you knew you were alone.

pulling out your phone once again, you dialed the number of the one person you even felt like talking to anymore. she didn’t answer either. which didn’t shock you, since it was almost two in the morning. you left a message, hoping she’d somehow receive it. your only alternative at this point was to walk home, and you were absolutely that it would result in you getting kidnapped.

you tried to keep your cries down so you could speak, but it just resulted in annoying hiccups that wouldn’t go away.

“shuri, i’m gonna send you my-“ hiccup. “-location. my friends, err, not friends, they-“ hiccup. “-left me behind. i don’t know where they-“ hiccup. “-are. and i’m scared because i’m alone on this curb and the only light here is a streetlight-” hiccup. "-which keeps going on and off. but i’m scar-” hiccup. “-ed to go back into the party because i don’t feel safe i-” hiccup. “in there with a bunch of strangers either. i’m also drunk asshitso i’m barely-” hiccup. “-thinking straight. i hopeyoucan understand what i’m-” hiccup. “-saying.”

you hung up the phone, only praying that she’d be there soon. in the meantime, all you could do was wait. unfortunately, you were growing tired. but falling asleep in a place like this…not the best idea.

you had finally stopped crying, but being alone in your thoughts only restarted the cycle. you felt so betrayed. you knew syniah’s friends were low, but this was another low. if something bad happened to you, it’d be their fault, and there’s no way they weren’t aware of that. the fact that they knew the risks and still went through with a plan like this one made you sick to your stomach sickened you. you were hurt by tati the most. you never thought her to be apart of something like that.

your heart felt heavy, and so did your head. you buried it into your knees that were pressed to your chest. you just wanted to close your eyes for a second.

just for a second.

you didn’t even realize you had snoozed off for a few minutes until you heard the sound of someone shuffling behind you. the effects of alcohol were still heavy, but you were alert.

maybe you were stupid to be alone in the street in the middle of the night, but you needed a place that was quiet and wouldn’t result in you passing out.

you tried to keep the fear from being detected in your voice. you threw your purse a few feet away, planning on making a run for it. “my money’s in there, please, just leave me alone.”

you felt deeply relieved when you heard a small chuckle erupt from behind you, one that you actually recognized. “i don’t think i need money, but thank you for the offer.”

you looked up, placing your hand above your eyebrows to see the person and block the streetlight from ruining your view. relieved would be an understatement at this point to describe how you felt when you saw her face. shuri went to pick up your purse before walking back up to you and offering her hand.“let’s get you to my car.”

shuri gingerly wrapped one of your arms around her shoulder and held your waist to make sure you didn’t fall. carefully, she guided you to her vehicle. once you were inside, she put your seatbelt on for you and shut the door.

as shuri walked around the car and entered the driver’s seat, you realized she had parked near the party, meaning a lot of people saw the princess placing you in the car like some kind of girlfriend. you didn’t care though, since you were more concerned about other things. tiredly, you turned away from the window so you wouldn’t have to look at the gawking partygoers and rested your elbow on the side of the car.

shuri handed you a water bottle silently, prompting you to mutter a small “thank you” and taking it from her hands.

you felt embarrassed. you looked a mess. your makeup was smeared and ruined completely because of how many tears you had shed, along with the aftermath of you wiping them away carelessly.

“shuri, i-”

she heard your voice crack just a bit and held up a hand to stop you from speaking. “it’s okay. just rest for now. we can talk when we get to your dorm.”

“no,” you choked out. the last thing you wanted to do was see tati later or in the morning when you woke up. “i don’t wanna go there.”

the princess didn’t have any further questions. “alright. we can go to my dorm if you want.”

you hummed in acknowledgment. you couldn’t find the energy to speak anymore, feeling your eyelids suddenly grow heavy.

about twenty minutes later, you were woken up to feeling someone shaking your shoulder softly and whispering your name.

“don’t make me carry you bridal style,” shuri teased.

you offered a sleepy smile, still pretty much half asleep. “you won’t.”

she did.

the next few minutes were spent by shuri actually staying true to her words despite the odd looks she got from the people on the first floor. she kept having to tap you awake to make sure people were aware that she wasn’t carrying a dead body to her room.

once you two actually arrived to her room, she placed you on the right side of her bed. kneeling down to bring her face to your level, she spoke. “yam uthando, i know you are tired, but you need to shower.”

your eyebrows knitted together. “what does that mean?”

she let out a quiet snicker because of the fact that the name she called you was all you picked up on. “don’t worry about that. i have a spare towel in the bathroom and i will set some clothes for you, okay?”

you frowned, slurring your words. “i’msotired, though.”

“i know, (name).” she brought her face closer to yours, placing her hand on your cheek. “but you must shower. i’ll set a bath for you. try and wake up a bit.”

with that, she trotted into the bathroom, turning on the water. you knew it’d be on the colder side rather than the warm one, making you dread it even more. you sat up from the bed slowly, rubbing your eyes.

finally rising from the bed, you made your way over to shuri’s vanity to take in your appearance. you sat down on one of the two chairs near the vanity. your smeared makeup just reminded you of what had taken place earlier that night. all you could think of is the worst. the worst that could’ve happened being alone in a place like that. or if you were forced to walk home by yourself or hitch a ride with a stranger from the party. the worst could’ve occurred if shuri wasn’t awake and able to pick you up.

you could see her enter the bedroom behind you through the mirror and concern flooding her features when she noticed your teary-eyed look in the mirror.

she sat next to you on the other seat that was near the vanity. she reached into one of the drawers, pulling out makeup remover. had this been anyone else, you’d refuse because you would think it’s out of pity. but, for shuri, you just knew that wasn’t the case. and because of that, your nerves were easing.

“i didn’t even know you did makeup.”

shuri flashed her teeth. “yeah, no, i usually take drunk girls to my dorm to remove their makeup and set a bath for them.”

her attempt at making you smile was successful. “and here i was thinking i was special.”

the grin on her face faded after a few moments and she becomes serious. “are you okay with telling me what happened yet?”

she uses her finger to bring you closer to her face by your jaw and you suddenly felt weak again.

you close your eyes as she drags the wipe across your eyelids. “to tell you the short version, my roommate convinced me to go out with her, like i told you earlier. i was having fun, up until they all decided to play some stupid joke on me where they leave me by myself at a party with a crowd of strangers and no protection. that’s when i left and called you.”

“so that’s why you didn’t want to go to your dorm,” she said, more of a statement rather than a question. you nodded, anyway. “i’m so, sorry, (name). i don’t usually like to do this, but i’ll use my privileges if i have to do they get proper punishment for what they did. it was messed up, and imagine what would’ve happened had i not been able to pick you up. i’ve never heard of people being so reckless like this.”

the princess tossed the pile of makeup wipes in the trash and grabbed your wrist to guide you to the bathroom. as you two walked, you cleared your throat. “thank you once again, shuri. i keep thinking about what could’ve gone wrong if i didn’t have you. you have saved me and helped me in more ways than i could imagine. i’m incredibly grateful for you, and trust me, when i sober up in the morning, i plan to prove my thankfulness.”

“you probably can’t do that.” she shook her head. the curly-haired girl handed you a white towel from the bottom of the sink. “you’ll be too busy reeling from a hangover.”

“oh, right. the day after that, then.”

she beamed and then pointed to the bathtub. “shower first, plan later. i’ll get some clothes for you that i can find since you have nothing else to wear.”

you felt very much refreshed after the shower, regardless of the fact that it was cold as hell. you were still tired, but you felt a lot less dirty.

once you had changed, shuri supplied you with a head wrap since you didn’t have a bonnet with you either.

you had collapsed into her bed incredibly easily. you just wanted to put everything that had occurred to rest, at least for the night. you were so drained that you could barely function.

shuri joined you in bed after shutting off the lights and plugging in your very dead phone. as soon as she entered the bed, she faced you. “once again, i’m sorry for everything you endured tonight.”

“it’s not your fault, shuri. you don’t need to apologize. you’re not responsible for their actions,” you reassured her. “oh, and one of the girls wanted your number, by the way. just in case you’re into that.”

“oh, shut up,” she teased, letting out a breathy chuckle. “you can let her know that i’m not interested in people who purposely hurt my friend.”

that definitely cheered you up a bit, although the friend title stung just a little. it was silent for a few seconds after that, and because of that, you mind wandered elsewhere. you didn’t have much willpower because of how tired you were, so your eyes innocently flickered to shuri’s lips. you found yourself staring. her lips looked so kissable.

shuri furrowed her eyebrows, an amused smile tugging at her mouth. “what?”

your eyes widened. did you say that out loud? “what?”

“you just said-”

“oh! my bad, i didn’t mean to say that out loud. i wasn’t thinking it for like a long time, though! it was like an intrusive thought, and it just popped up.”

she laughed again. “i know. it’s alright. just rest.”

you closed your eyes, but something felt off. “can you do that thing where you rub circles on my hand whenever i’m trying to sleep? i think i need it tonight more than anything.”

she didn’t reply, but simply just began to do so. you fell asleep soon after that, but shuri, however, couldn’t. she was just admiring you and your beauty. bast, you were perfect in her eyes. even a drunken mess, you looked amazing. she truly was falling for you. even when you made that comment about her lips, she wanted to ask you to kiss her, but this was not how she wanted your second kiss to be. the first one was already forced, courtesy of your family, but she wanted the next to actually be special.

and how could she forget about her plan to invite you to wakanda for winter break? there was no christmas in wakanda, so she feared that you’d say no for that reason. once again, it was her obliviousness talking. unbeknownst to her, you’d say yes the second she asked because the thought was in your mind as well.

just when the princess started to drift off, your phone began to ring loudly. she was scared that you’d wake up, so she immediately reached her hand over your body to grab your phone. she was going to decline because of how late it was. that was until she saw the name.

tati.

she had a lot of words to say to your roommate, none of which were nice. angrily, she answered.

“hello?”

“hello, (name)! where the hell are you, girl? you haven’t been answering any of my texts or calls, and i’ve searched this house like a million times! you’re scaring me, dude! can you please confirm that you’re okay and safe and tell me where you are? i can’t find you, and the girls are saying that you ditched them for some girl, but me and syniah don’t believe that because you’re awful at flirting and you’ve been attached to me the entire night. syniah said you left as she was walking up to you and the girls and she hasn’t seen you since. i’m on the verge of passing out. please say something.”

well, that certainly caught shuri off guard. she looked over at you, completely knocked out. waking you up was off the table, but shuri knew she couldn’t leave tati in the dark.

“hey, tati. this is shuri.”

shuri could hear her gasp through the phone. “shuri? why do you have (name)‘s phone?”

“because your friends were the ones that ditched her. she was alone, and i had to get her myself. i don’t want to be invasive, but you should seriously reconsider who you hang out with. they didn’t have a problem with leaving (name) by herself, knowing what could’ve happened, especially since she was drunk.”

“i knew i couldn’t trust those bitches! they’re not my friends, by the way, and i’ll make sure syniah drops their asses. but just to make sure, (name) is okay, right?”

“yes. she’s asleep,” shuri confirmed. “she didn’t want to come to the dorm because she thought you were involved in this incident as well.”

the hurt was evident in tati’s voice. “oh. well, can you clear things up with her when she wakes up, then? the last thing i need her to do is be mad at me right now.”

“of course,” shuri agreed. “goodnight, tati.”

“goodnight, shuri. and thank you so much for being there. you truly do care about her more than anybody who has ever come into her life since i’ve known her.”

tati hung up after that, leaving shuri udaku in silence, beaming like a complete idiot.

[bakughosts]

hey i just had to find you to tell you that “In the dark of morning, you promise me the sun”, is the most beautiful heart-wrenching thing ive read, made me cry, laugh, and sigh wistfully at the same time. didn’t think of reading it at first because of the fic summary (denki dying and bakugou helping??) but holy crap is it one of the best rollercoasters i’ve been on!! the grief is portrayed so realistically, the little details the reader always notices, bakugou’s AND reader’s character development, scenes so vivid and memorable they could very well be renaissance paintings, the kitchen scenes, that one umbrella, the sudoku puzzles and pulp romance novels and everything in between. it’s got so many of my favorite tropes… the domestic life, they were roommates, two characters holding on to each other and trying to pick the pieces of their life back together, slow burnnn, patching up after getting hurt, grieving and healing together, intimacy that’s not forced or unrealistic, not dating and not friends,, somewhere in between but also beyond, home feels like bakugou. also the way you learn to interpret bakugou’s emotions through the slightest of mannerisms, and how he reads you better than anyone. mentally rn im in that penthouse by the lake, the wisteria flower garden, and that izakaya place.

Sdflkjdskfjdsk i had a feeling that writing a fic with this depressing of a premise would make people be like…. God why on earth would i read this DFSKFKJLLSDFJDSLKF but i think grief is so BEAUTIFUL and so NUANCED and it’s one of my favorite things to write about because the healing process is so interesting and so different every time….. im so glad that it came across as authentic my biggest fear was that it would feel hollow in some way. THANK u for reading it and picking up on all the little details and stuff it means so much to hear that they were like. Appreciated and enjoyed dlsldfksdlkjfs. This was also the biggest self-indulgent fic I’ve written bc those are also MY favorite tropes and i was like u know what fuck it. They’re all getting mixed into this big ol’ pot

Mentally i am there with u…. It is a softer place 2 be. Thank you so much for sending me this ask it made me feel so warm…. Im so glad u enjoyed it thank u for taking a chance on it !!!!!!!!!!!

[soft4gguk]

to build a home | chapter two

pairing: Jungkook x reader. ceo!jk + dilf!jk x nanny!oc

genre: strangers to lovers. angst. loads of plot. eventual smut

word count: 8.8k (y’all still need context but introduction to oc! and her super cool best friend I’m growing emotionally attached to)

warnings: angst. more angst. swearing. more crying baby </3. and more crying jungoo </3. also, jungkook’s an asshole (im sorry ok my mans is going thru it can u blame him). but! jungkook best dad. mentions of alcohol. mentions of abandonment. that’s pretty much it. last one was too heavy.

author’s note: hi <3 first of all, i wasn’t really expecting my little (sad) story to get half of the attention it’s getting so i want to make sure i come in here and say thank u from the bottom of my heart if u took your time to read it and/or leave nice comments. you’re the best. now, getting to the juicy stuff – hi. this was a handful and im sorry but also im not??? this chapter introduces new characters that were so much fun to write and also our sexy nanny oc queen!! i almost almost blue balled u and left their first meeting / thoughts on one another for the next chapter but i honestly got so excited about it i couldn’t do that to yall. jk has no idea tho. his heart still hurts its been two minutes be patient w him. but the very last paragraph… yeah. thats all im saying. anyways ENJOY <3 xxxxx

This is a work of fiction. Please respect the members and their privacy. x

Texts in bold + italic resemble a recollection of past events.

Chapter Two

You love Saturdays, not afraid to fall into the cliché that coincides with pretty much 99% of the population that looks forward to the weekend. But Saturdays feel different. And here, let me throw in another cliché – they only get better the warmer the weather gets. A Saturday and summer type of person? Predictable. But you’re not one to shy away from clichés. You’d be out of a passion and perhaps have grown to hate your degree, making your four years of higher education exceptionally tedious. You’re diverting, though. Point is, you’re not afraid of being a little predictable in the name of a good cliché.

You woke up this morning and the smell of freshly baked goods had you jolting out of bed. The mornings are still chilly and you keep making the mistake of heading straight to the kitchen barefoot. Excitement usually has you making it in four to six strides and that’s all it takes to be embraced by warmth again. Your kitchen is tiny and the oven does wonders at keeping it in a steady cozy degrees Celsius.

“Good morning, lover.” Lucy’s sweet voice adds to the warmth.

Roommate, best friend and future pastry school graduate – the pet name you two share fits her like a glove. A human being so sweet people stick to her like flies often do to sticky, yummy forgotten treats. Her graduation is coming up in a couple of weeks so she spends her weekends diligently perfecting recipes. You are able to bask in the benefits as her personal guinea pig. And it’s never bad so you gladly comply.

“It is indeed, lover.” You return. She laughs, placing a scone in your hand. It’s plain but nothing about it feels so when you take a bite. “What do you even put in these? Crack?”

“Ding, ding, ding!” She exclaims, pointer finger in the air for dramatic effect. “Here, coffee – freshly brewed so you better not-” but before she can continue, you’re already burdening her existence, a handful of ice cubes falling into the drink she’d poured in your favorite jar.

“Sometimes it’s better to apologize than to ask for permission?” You look at her sweetly, feigning innocence.

“You are stripping my perfect scones of flavour by numbing your tongue with all that ice, ___!” She whines, making you laugh.

“Wait ‘til you see how I lather it with cheap, synthetic strawberry jam.”

“I give up on you.”

“No, you don’t.” You say, big smile plastered on your face. She smiles back.

You sit opposite her, propped up on a stool before your little kitchen counter and watch her work as you reap the benefits.

“You know… I have a good feeling about today. Today’s the day. I just know it.” She tells you.

“You think I’m breaking into the corporate world on a Saturday?” You ask, incredulous but humour lacing your tone.

“Shut up. You don’t even want in the corporate world,” she begins, eyes still glued to her scones, “just… keep your eyes open. You never know.”

“Will do.”

~

With eyes wide open, you make sure they’re glued to the half a dozen of children spread around the kid’s section of your local library. Saturdays are good because of scones and the undivided (although at times a bit disperse) attention of your very enthusiastic book club of keen readers aging from 4 to 6. Best age to start if you do say so yourself.

Today’s pick is Julián Is a Mermaid and it seems to be sparking a fairly good discussion within your avid readers.

“I want to be a mermaid.”

“Well, you can’t. it’s a book. Miss ___ say’s its fiction.”

“Miss ___ says we can be whoever we want as long as we’re kind.”

“Yeah, but mermaids don’t exist!”

“Okay, okay! Eyes up here. Let’s discuss calmly.” You break the discourse, even though you were secretly enjoying it. “Although it is true that this is a work of fiction like Seojun says, we can be whoever we want, like Kisoo says. In this case, Julián being a mermaid is simply a fun way to let us know that. We prefer fun stories, don’t we?”

They all break into a cheer, affirming that yes, indeed, we prefer fun stories. You give yourself a mental pat in the back. Good saves are a talent you’ve learned to master with little kids who oftentimes lack a filter. You wish you could be like that at times. Bold but soft and (most often than not) kind.

The clock on the wall nears 12 o’clock and you close the book in your lap, turning once again to the kids.

“Okay, kiddos! Did we have fun?” Your question is received by yet again another burst of cheers. You giggle. “Are we looking forward to having even more fun next week with Duck Rabbit?” Another cheer, this time louder. You feel like a Rockstar. “That’s what I like to hear. Okay. You guys can play, draw or have some free reading time until pick up.”

They disperse, gathering in little groups or finding various interests around the colourful play section surrounded by high shelves heavy with more books than you can count.

You engage into brief conversations with the parents as they reunite with their overly hyper children, swarming them with detailed recounts of their participations for the day, their favorite parts of the story and loads of bold ‘I want to be a mermaid!’ statements. That’s usually your queue – you’re not one to break a heart with the harsh truths of the world.

There are only two kids left, quietly sat in one of the small tables, fully invested in their drawings.

Your eyes divert to the window and you see Dae’s mom. A pretty brunette that, if you didn’t know better, would be convinced she’s the ripe age of twenty-three, just like yourself. You’ve actually found yourself looking forward to your small talk with her during pick up – time and time again making sense of Dae’s sweet and light-hearted personality through his mom.

You walk over to the little boy, kneeling in front of him. “Hey, Dae…,” you say softly, not wanting to disrupt his focus.

“Whaff?” He replies, turning to you slowly, one eye still glued to his drawing. You melt at the slight lisp he gets sometimes when he’s a bit distracted.

“Look who’s here.” You say, and right that moment his mom makes her way through the doors.

“Mama!” He all but screams, voice so sweet it sounds gooey, making you melt.

“Ahhhhh, hi baby! Did you have fun? We missed you so, so much. Daddy’s next door getting you donuts.” Mai says, knees coming to hit the ground as she wraps the little boy in her arms, a mischievous smile at the mention of sweet treats.

“Donuts?” It’s the only thing Dae can grasp from her sentence.

She laughs. “Yes, but only after lunch, okay? We’re going to grandma’s today, remember?” he nods, excitement written all over his face. Only now do you notice just how much it resembles his mother.

Mai gets up from the ground, sending Dae off for his backpack before she turns to you, smiling.

“___, you make his Saturdays so magical. My husband is considering never taking him to Disneyland again.” She says, earning a laugh from you.

“Please, don’t let me be responsible for that.” You tell her, light chuckles still leaving your lips. “They make my Saturdays magical, too.”

Dae makes his way back, coming to stand in between the two of you. He looks up at you, soft curls coming to rest in front of his eyes before he brushes them off.

“Thank you for having me today, Miss ___. I had fun.” He sounds shy when he says it but never once breaks eye contact.

“I had fun, too, Dae. Thank you for coming. Can’t wait to see you next week!” You tell him and he beams at your welcoming words. He softly nods and turns to his mom who’s looking at him proudly, as if he’d nailed the previously rehearsed sentence.

You wave at the two of them and see them out, promptly repeating the same actions as you did with Dae, this time with the last kid and parent encounter of the day. Another sweet goodbye before you’re turning around, ready to tidy up after today’s session.

You’ve only just had enough time to put away the box of crayons littering the floor before the sound of approaching footsteps makes you turn around. You see Mai walking towards you, Dae nowhere to be seen this time.

“Hey, is everything alright? Did Dae forget something?” You ask.

“Hi again. Yes, yes. Everything’s alright. I wanted to talk to you actually.” She says, finally coming to a stop in front of you.

“Oh… sure. What’s up?”

“What are you doing after this?” She asks and immediately realizes how nosy she must sound at the way you wince slightly at the question. “Oh God, I’m sorry. Let me rephrase that… what do you do? I mean, do you work, study…?”

You notice her tense up, nerves brewing at her sudden intrusion and you reassure her with a soft smile. You don’t blame her – you’d want to know, too, if your child was spending time with someone who could very well be considered a stranger.

“I, um… I graduated three months ago. Literature. That was my major. I worked the night shift at a bar through most of university. I recently left, though. The atmosphere was getting heavy, I guess,” you say, sparing her the details, “I do work freelance for some publications at the moment, but you could say I’m just… floating for the time being. Looking.” Your admission makes you shy, gaze falling down.

“Oh… I thought you’d be pursuing a career in education.” Mai says, though she doesn’t sound surprised.

“No, no. I volunteer at the book club because it sort of gives me a sense of purpose. It’s easy to lose that when you’ve recently graduated. I didn’t want to feel like my life was in a complete pause. Plus, I like the kids. They keep me hopeful.”

Mai tries her best to keep her facial expression as stoic as ever – offering gentle nods and smiles as she takes in your words. But inside, she’s plotting. You’re too good to be true. Granted, she’s known this for a while – Saturday book club excitement begins as early as Thursday for Dae. Your entire essence feels trustworthy, sweet and patient.

So, Mai plots.

“I have a friend…,” she starts, taking you aback, eyebrows raising up in surprise. “I think he might need your help.”

~

“So? What did you say? Did you agree to it? I told you I had a good feeling about today!” Lucy’s frantic, bits of flour dust her cheeks lightly. She hasn’t left the kitchen since you left this morning and now the scones are accompanied by batches of croissants, madeleines, eclairs – you name it. Her own personal Café de Fleur.

You have to admit, her excitement is contagious.

“I mean, I agreed to have her give him a call. To put in a reference for me. But I don’t know, Lu.” This earns you a scowl from her

“What do you mean you don’t know? This could be amazing, ___. Enlightening, even!”

“Enlightening is a stretch.” You say, hand coming to rest at your hip.

“Now, don’t be ungrateful. What else do you need? She all but gloated about her more than financially willing single dad friend that’s in desperate need of a hot nanny-” now you’re the one scowling. “Sorry, a nanny. Kids come naturally to you!”

“She’s nine months old! She’s a baby, not a kid. I can’t bribe her with lollipops and picture books.” You protest.

“Even better! Babies are less demanding of attention and bribes. You just have to make sure she stays fed and out of poopy diapers and voila! Happy kid- baby. Happy baby!” she says. At what sounds like a defeated sigh coming from you, she presses, “besides… you could have time to work on your writing, in-between naps or whatever. What other job gives you the benefits nap time does?”

She has a point. It shouldn’t take too much to convince you – you do need the job. The savings you’ve been amounting to since university will not last you forever and you couldn’t solely rely on the hopes of getting your big break as a writer overnight.

“Yeah, I guess you have a point.”

“Plus… being a single parent must not be easy.” You smile at your friend’s inability to remove her feelings from the vaguest of situations. “You could actually help out a family more than you’d realize, ___.”

Her words make your heart sink a little, even though you can’t quite put your finger on why. As much as you make fun of Lucy for shining subjectivity into every context, you can’t help but admit you’re the same. You don’t know anything about this family; let alone anything that would spark the uneasiness that tugs at your heart at her words. Yet you can’t control the flutters in your chest at Lucy’s suggestion, insisting you could be of help.

In that moment, you find yourself hoping you can be.

~

It’s Monday.

Jungkook hates how much of a Monday it feels like. He was never one to fixate on the days of the week as such – usually having his secretary keeping track of his days, making sure to fit personal time and Soori’s doctor’s appointments in the middle of his crazy work schedule. He’s never attached days to feelings.

But today is a Monday and it feels like Jungkook’s own personal idea of hell. The weekend was hell, too. He decided to bring Soori along on his business trip, her recent clinginess to her father breaking Jungkook’s heart during every parting. Mai tries to soften the reality around the edges a bit, reassuring him she only cries for a little longer once he leaves her in the mornings before heading to the office.

Suelgi had tagged along for the trip and would babysit during the day as Jin and Jungkook oversaw the advancements in the project. He felt proud. This was the first of his hotels that he has overseen from the very beginning. An idea that’s now materialized into a twenty stories high beach front resort. Soori was not in the mood to necessarily celebrate, though, amounting to a two-day, one (sleepless) night hellish weekend trip.

The back and forth has really been taking a toll on her schedule as well, leaving them with odd feeding hours and a regression in her sleep training that has Jungkook fearing for his ability to function on sole motor skills.

He’s in the middle of changing her diaper as she fidgets in his grasp, mindlessly playing with a bunched-up sock. He squints. His bunched-up sock. Where did she even get that? He checks his watch – 7:20 AM. Not bad. Mental pat in the back, because he basically lives off his own reassurance nowadays. The pleasure of the accomplishment of not running late for once is short-lived as his phone starts ringing loudly. His eyes search for it and although he can hear its proximity, it’s nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck.” He mutters. Soori coos at him and he covers her ears quickly, “you didn’t hear that.”

The ringing stops and he continues his task of getting her clean and changed for the day. Another short-lived moment of bliss as the ringing fills the walls of the nursery again. Now he worries – it could be a work emergency. Or Suelgi reaching out to let him know something came up and she won’t be able to look after Soori today. He takes another glance around the room and sees the buzzing device camouflaged by a family of plushies on top of one of Soori’s toy baskets. It doesn’t stop ringing.

“Don’t move, okay?” He says to Soori, who’s laying on top of her changing table. The second the words leave his lips he realizes the calibre of stupidity the request holds. He closes his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. “Intermission,” he says, taking a very butt-naked Soori in his arms and heading to retrieve his phone. How did that even get there? He recites a mental prayer in hopes his daughter doesn’t have an accident – one all over his tightly pressed white button up.

Mai’s name flashes on the screen of his phone.

“Hello?”

“Gguk. I have the best news.” She says, way too cheerful for 7 am.

“Enlighten me.” He responds, immediately regretting the sarcastic ring to his voice.

Mai doesn’t seem to mind, he can hear the smile on her face when she says, “I found you a nanny!”

“Send her CV my way. I’ll check it out as soon as I get to the office.” He returns.

“I’m her CV! And her letter of recommendation.”

“No.”

“Gguk-”

“I’m not going to leave my daughter in the care of someone that doesn’t have the right qualifications and/or enough years of experience to lack a proper CV.” Jungkook’s voice is stern and he knows Mai is rolling her eyes on the other side of the line.

“Oh, Ggukie. You’re funny. If employment worked that way you’d be out of a job.” Her voice doesn’t hold an ounce of menace but she knows she has to be stern, too.

“Hotels can fail. My daughter’s wellbeing, cannot.” He argues, voice sounding defeated.

“Okay. Hear me out. She’s Dae’s teacher. From Saturday book club – you know how he’s always telling you about it?” Mai explains.

“Oh, she’s a teacher?” He admits that grants him a glimmer of hope.

“Well, no,” and before Jungkook can object again she continues, “but! Gguk, she is sweet, and patient and I’ve seen her with the kids, she can easily reason with them. They love her. And respect her. Come on, just one interview. Get to know her. Let Soori get to know her, too. She can’t be worse than all these nannies you’ve been interviewing that look straight out of that one scene in Mary Poppins. Please?”

Jungkook is about to object again, having made up his mind at ‘well, no’ but before he can begin to form a sentence, he feels a wet patch growing at the center of his stomach, quickly spreading down in a steady stream. He looks down at Soori who looks back at him innocently, unaware of her accident, slightly relieved at having an empty bladder. She smiles at him, a soft giggle falling past her lips.

Now they’re running late.

“Okay.”

“Gguk just- what?” Mai says, astounded.

“Give me her number, I’ll have my assistant arrange the interview.” He sounds defeated, but Mai doesn’t miss the sudden determination in his voice.

“You won’t regret it, Gguk. Trust me.”

And in that moment, he finds himself hoping he doesn’t.

~

“So, it’s a coffee date?”

Lucy’s voice nears as she enters your room, pushing the clothes that you’ve aggressively scattered all over your bed to the side. She takes a seat, hands wrapped around a scolding hot cup of tea. You can see the steam dance out of the mug in little twirls.

“No. it’s not a coffee date. His assistant just asked me how I liked my coffee. Must be a rich people thing, you know?” You argue.

“Politeness?” She asks, raising a brow.

“No. Planning ahead of time.”

“And what did you tell her?” She presses, bringing the mug to her lips as she takes a sip.

“Huh?”

“About how you like your coffee.”

“Iced americano.” You tell her, a wicked smile tugging at your lips.

She rolls her eyes. “Please, it’s like you want to butcher this!”

“Not actively attempting to, no. But if I can’t find anything remotely appropriate to wear then that might just be the case.” You say, exasperated. You’d spent the good first half of your morning rummaging around your tiny closet for anything that would resemble even an ounce of professionality. Needless to say, your pastels and florals, mostly making up an absurd amount of sun dresses, were not quite cutting it.

“Please, ___, you dress like a grandma that picks up gardening as soon as the weather goes any higher than 20 degrees. Or, even better, -” she continues but you turn around, narrowing your eyes at her. “The cutest grandma, though. Sexy, too.” She winks at you and you can’t help but smile.

“It’s just not… professional enough.”

“Since when do nannies have to look cookie cutter corporate? I’d be content enough with someone that didn’t pose any immediate threat. Like say, you walk in there with a spike collar on – that might be dangerous. But then again, you can’t really judge a book by its cover.” She concludes, assertive nod to the head before she takes another sip.

You laugh, shooting finger guns at her, giving her the point.

She’s right. Your choice of fashion was never a matter of inconvenience during Saturday book club in the library. And you do sort of sport the grandma-chic. You should be fine.

Yet you can’t shake the slight intimidation you feel. You know it’s only normal to dwell on nerves or pre work interview jitters. As much cookie cutter corporate this isn’t you still want to do well. You still want his approval.

The intimidation dates back to two days ago. Mai had called you, having asked for your number to give you further details, and she gave you the good news! As she’d exclaimed.

“His assistant will call you to arrange an interview. It’ll probably be sometime this week.” Mai’s voice still held the same enthusiasm as it did a couple of minutes prior during her call with Jungkook.

“That sounds perfect,” you say, although you have to force the words out of you. You weren’t expecting everything to unfold so quickly.

“You’ll do good. Soori will love you.”

“Thank you for this opportunity, Mai. It- the timing was just right.” You don’t feel like putting any pressure on her by admitting just how desperately you need this. This is just an interview after all.

“Trust me, likewise.” She says this and it leaves you wondering for a minute. Her voice sounds serious, but you don’t press.

You’re about to say your goodbyes but her words stop you.

“Jungkook.” She says, seemingly out of nowhere.

“Huh?” You frown, a bit lost by the prior.

“Jeon Jungkook. That’s his name. Just realized I never told you.”

Jeon Jungkook. It’s in the name. That’s where your intimidation stems from. He sounds like he belongs in the list of professors you avoided in university. The ones that led the elective subjects you took to build up credit. Like accounting and introduction to physics 01. You shudder at the thought.

Another look-over your messy clothes sprawled all across your bed earns you another shudder, followed by a loud groan.

Lucy scams through it, giving it one last glance before she grabs a handful of yellow fabric. She doesn’t gravitate towards it for any reason in particular – simply with the intention to ease your torment and put an end to this discussion.

“Here. Wear the yellow dress.” She says, sure of herself, even though she has no idea what the yellow dress actually looks like. It could be one of your grandma chic but make it ass cheek length for all she knows.

But the angels are on Lucy’s side today and when you reach for the dress, holding it against your body as you stare at the mirror, it’s not half bad. It cuts in a straight line over your chest, fabric rouching slightly at the top before it falls seamlessly right above your knees. Discreet enough. Cute bows at the strings that hold it over your shoulders, too. You are keen on the gardening look, aren’t you?

“It needs a cardigan.” You say, reaffirming your previous realization.

“How Victorian of you. Please refrain from showing any ankle – the man might have a heart attack. I heard nine months old are judgy, too.” Lucy remarks.

“I was planning on wearing my converse – is that too casual?” You ask, completely ignoring her witty remarks. She rolls her eyes at you and watches you pace around your room, trying to tidy up the mess you’d make.

You’re looking through your cardigans when she breaks the silence.

“What do you think happened?”

“What do you mean?” You ask, turning around, eyes meeting her serious ones.

“I mean, single dad… desperately in need for a nanny… rich, assuming from his side of town. Do you think something happened? Where’s the baby mama?” Your eyes widen at her last question.

“Well, I don’t know. But I’m sure it isn’t any of the crazy scenarios flashing through your mind right now. Probably a messy divorce or something.” You declare.

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

~

“Soo, look here, baby. Open wide!” Jungkook’s words feign cheerfulness but they’re bordering on a plead. As he brings the spoon closer to Soori’s mouth she lets out a high-pitched shriek. By far the loudest since this whole ordeal unfolded twenty minutes ago.

Her eyes are swollen, wet with tears that fall down her face that’s now red from all the crying and screaming lunch time has provoked. The first few days she refused solid food had Jungkook giving in – cradling her in his arms as he bottle fed her until she calmed down. But it’s been three days of this and he needs to be a parent.

So that’s where his Thursday lunch break finds him – standing in front of a very angry baby, completely clueless, a colourful assortment of pureed baby food adorning his kitchen island. Soori’s cries come to a surprising stop and he knows she’s not only tired but also hungry. He tries again, lowering the spoon to her, holding in his breath as she just stares at it. She kicks, body jumping so abruptly inside the confinity of her high chair it startles Jungkook, hands coming to hold her still as he shushes her gently.

Amidst the sea of broken feelings that slowly tear him apart this is perhaps the most painful. He didn’t think Soori would be so receptive to her mother’s departure. Jungkook doesn’t know if her change of demeanour is a reaction of his sulking and suffering, or if she feels Ira’s absence more than he can give her credit for. She’s just so little. Bliss still carries her through most mornings and nights – they were Jungkook’s to begin with, as he took every chance he possibly could at home to spend with her. He likes to believe that her mother’s missing presence isn’t something she doesn’t quite grasp by notion. But he can’t deny that she feels it by instinct. His heart breaks all over again at her innocence. He wonders if she’s confused, tries to decipher her feelings as he stares at her. Her mouth opens and closes in breathy whimpers. His eyes sting with the promise of a new set of tears at the feeling.

“Mr. Jungkook?” Mrs. Chae’s dulcet voice startles him. She looks apologetic when he jumps at the sight of her. “I’m sorry to disturb you. Your assistant has just called to remind you about your interview, sir. I thought I’d let you know.”

Fuck. The interview. In the middle of lunchtime chaos, he’d managed to forget about it.

“Uh- yes. Yes. Thank you, Mrs. Chae,” he takes a glimpse at his daughter, whom he still hasn’t manage to feed. He feels like a failure.

“If you want, I can try?” she says, referring to the get the baby to actually eat ordeal he was engaged in a minute ago.

“I’d appreciate that, yes.” She’s an old lady, and although sweet, lacks the patience to deal with the babysitting duties she’d had to take on ever since Ira left. But Jungkook needs all the help he can get, so he accepts hers. “If she keeps fussing just give her a bottle. She needs to eat.” She simply nods. He feels slightly judged – he keeps breaking. Stuck between a wall and a dead-end street. A bottle or starving his nine-month-old. A really easy one, yeah.

He leans down, kissing Soori’s forehead, whispering, “be good, baby.”

He makes his way from the kitchen to the living room, his pace picking up as he walks straight to the guest bathroom before he locks it.

He doesn’t bother turning on the lights as his back leans against the door, body sliding against it until he hits the floor. He breaks. It’s not the loud sobs he let out the first couple of days – he’s pretty sure he’s ran out of those. It’s the silent tide of tears that build in the corners of his eyes as his lost gaze penetrates an empty spot. He stares so hard until his line of vision goes blurry and he blinks. And only then do the tears fall. He doesn’t know why he suppresses them anymore. He’s just so fucking tired. He doesn’t know where the pain starts nor does he know where it ends. It’s just there. Silent, cold, sharp. An all-consuming overwhelm that shares his days and nights – backstabbing him just when he thinks it’s getting better.

He starts to get angry – what he’s come to identify as step two of his emotional vortex. But before he can fully register it, the doorbell rings, saving him from himself.

~

Your fingers hover over the doorbell. The touch screen doorbell. You try not to but your mind races with, quite frankly, unproductive thoughts.

Who even needs this much technology? You direct your gaze up, taking in the sight in front of you. People that live in such humble abodes like this one, you think. The house resembles something out of those Architectural Digest magazines you skim through in the library to kill time. It reminds you of a cut out you pasted in your vision board – idea courtesy of none other than Lucy after reading one chapter from The Secret.

it’s big, that’s to put it lightly. The shape almost boxy – wide and long, walls a contrast between white and dark mahogany wood. Two palm trees adorn the entrance, one taller than the other, side by side. Palm trees? You’re gawking now, you know you are. Three cars take up the vast parking space – two that seem to be identical, only in different colours. Black and white. That’s cliché, even for you. A Range Rover comes to view at the far end, almost towering the two coupes – it’s black. You have to admit it’s a satisfying colour palette. But who needs three cars? You shake your head, catching yourself before you free-fall into the incessant prying.

You make a mental note to stop staring as you fixate your gaze back to the door. Your eyes come back to the doorbell.

Does it ever run out of battery?

You’re about to reason with your brain on why that is a stupid question when the front door swings open from the inside. You tense up slightly, running your hands down the front of your dress nervously as your eyes come up to take in the sight before you.

Now, as afore mentioned, you’re not one to shy away from a good cliché; but the one before you finds you perplexed, to say the least.

He’s tall – so much so you have to shift your gaze upwards to meet his face. And when you do, you’re met with something you can’t quite put into words. But he doesn’t need words. His beauty speaks sonnets you’ll never be able to utter with ordinary words – so ethereal you quickly come to an spoken understanding. His hair is dark and thick, falling softly on top of his forehead, parting at the middle. His eyes look red and even though they’re a bit fallen they look impossibly big – if you look long enough, they become starry. You think your own eyes are deceiving you but when he blinks slowly and opens them again, you’re met with galaxies.

He’s managed to make formal attire look effortlessly casual. You take him in – black slacks, perfectly fitted against his toned legs. His white dress shirt exposes more skin than your sanity can bear, the three top buttons undone and his sleeves rolled up. Tattoos that seem to be never ending adorn his right arm that maintains a tight grip on the door as he holds it open for you.

“Mr. Jeon?” Your voice mirrors the confusion that inhabits your head. The title feels off – this man looks like he could’ve been part of your graduating class. But who makes it this big after three months post grad?

The left side of your brain, also known as rationality, hopes this is not Jeon Jungkook, the man about to interview you. For a potential job. To babysit his daughter.

But the right side of your brain hopes it is.

“Just Jungkook is fine.”

Damn it.

“Uh- come in, please.” He says, making way in the entrance for you to step in.

It’s bright – the house illuminated by the light coming from the endless windows that take up the space, floor to ceiling, east to west. The minimal décor perfectly complemented by a perfect view of the boundless shade of green that make up the backyard; the blue of the pool reflecting against the glass.

“Here, my office’s this way. Follow me.” His voice breaks you out of your trance and you nod, following right behind him.

His strides are determined yet effortless, mimicking his essence alone. But you can’t stop thinking about his eyes – bruised with what seems like lack of sleep and red veins so prominent around his irises you wonder if it’s the prior or if he’s been crying.

Stop prying.

He comes to a stop in front of a door that he holds opens for you, letting you go in first. You smile at the action. He doesn’t return it.

“Please,” he gestures to one of the chairs and you sit down, opposite to where you assume he’ll be sitting; a wide table, that matches the overall décor of the house, separating the two of you.

He looks at the tray Mrs. Chae has left for the two of you, seeing his usual coffee order has doubled. He quirks a brow, taking one look at you, but you seem to be lost as you take in your surroundings. He grabs both glasses, placing one in front of you.

“Thank you.” You say, voice soft.

He rounds the desk and comes to sit in front of you, settling into the chair before he takes a sip from his coffee. He clears his throat and this makes you straighten up in your seat. Here we go, you tell yourself.

“Do you have any questions for me before we start?” His gaze finally meets yours, undivided for the first time since you walked inside his home.

But his question takes you aback. He looks like the type to shove you abruptly into the enquiry portion of the interview.

“Um…,” you’re already stuttering and Jungkook tries not to but he looks exasperated. “The dynamic,” you attempt to answer with secureness, “what does it look like?”

His left eyebrow quirks rapidly at your question, almost instinctively. “She’s nine months old. She naps two to three times a day. Solid food three times a day,” his voice shakes at this, “formula four times a day. Quick bath throughout the day if she gets messy, a long one before bed time. Goes through diapers like she’s keeping Pampers afloat. Enjoys anything loud with buttons during her free time.” The last two remarks are more sarcastic than they are funny. Condescending even.

“And yours?” He doesn’t miss the slight irritation in your voice, although you look impassive.

“My…?”

“Dynamic. What does it look like?”

Your question aggravates him slightly. If he were to answer it with outmost sincerity, you’d probably label him as a bad father – a weak one even. He thinks about Soori right now, probably propped up against her favorite pillow in the couch as she suckles on her bottle. The word discipline swarms his thoughts. He frowns. She’s nine months old for God’s sake.

He composes himself before replying, “I work at the office, though I’ve been working from home more often lately. Mornings and nights she spends with me. Lunch time, too, when I’m home. I tend to have seasons where work requires more travel than others, but that time hasn’t come so I’m yet to figure it out. I don’t work on weekends unless strictly necessary.” The brief but packed run down comes to an end but all you can do is remain silent in your seat; eyes still glued to his. “Is that all?”

“Yes,” your murmur.

“Your work experience is… not ideal for this sort of job. Are you aware?” Now you know why he’s loaded. He’s a fucking shark.

“I am aware.” You badly want to say something, anything, to save your ass but your mind is at a complete blank at his unashamed boldness.

“What do you really want to do?”

“Pardon?”

He exhales loudly. “What career path do you want to pursue? Did you go to school? – Mai told me you volunteer at the library – is that something you want to do long term?”

Damn, he’s ruthless.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve brought a CV of some sort-”

“Yes, you should’ve. But you didn’t. So, we’re just going to have to work with what we have.” He says, interrupting you.

You look up at him, your sincere eyes meet his. They look as tired as they did when he first greeted you. You try to steady your breathing, easing your mind as you pose a brave front.

“I majored in Literature – out of sole passion. I didn’t really think about where it would land me when I started, I just did it because I loved it. I graduated three months ago and no, I don’t love it any less. Even if my degree hasn’t landed me nowhere you’d consider successful.” He visibly winces at your words. “I quit my job at a bar because the atmosphere was making me feel uncomfortable. The library felt comforting enough so I stuck to that. It makes me happy. Volunteering, I mean. Not in the selfless way you’d probably think but in a it brings me more peace of mind than it does them way, I guess. They’re kids, nothing holds their amusement for long enough. I’d hope the books and my words do, but I can’t know that for sure. I’m just a tiny slice of their week. But that’s fine by me.”

Jungkook gapes at you. He takes your words in and has to admit your sincerity takes him by surprise. You’ve uttered more words in the last two minutes than you have since you arrived. His head is pounding. He doesn’t believe you’re any more qualified just because you had a burst of honesty spill out of you. But he’d be a fool not to regard you with admiration for it.

At his silence, you continue, “I don’t know what career path I want to pursue. Or maybe I do, but it somewhat scares me. I like to write, but it’s a tough industry to break into. I’m not worried or desperate to know, though. I don’t know how long it took you to amount to all your success – you look fairly young to me. But I believe even the most successful of people felt at least a little lost at twenty-three,” you catch yourself slipping into a cliché so you mask it with a, “or whatever.”

He nods, but it doesn’t necessarily convey approval. It’s more so as if he’s digesting everything you’ve unloaded onto him. You don’t care at this point; having come to terms you didn’t stand a chance in Jeon Jungkook’s nanny boot camp to begin with.

“I agree,” he says and his words find you wide eyed. “I don’t even believe most people should decide on something they’ll take on for the rest of their lives that young. I wouldn’t necessarily say you’re lost, though. Finding your way seems to be a more fitting term.”

His words are comforting and the warm feeling pooling at the pit of your stomach travels all the way up until it settles in your chest. They feel almost welcoming, even as his gaze remains stern.

“You didn’t ask and at this point you probably don’t care but… I’m a fast learner and there are a couple of things in life that come naturally to me and I’ve been told that kids are one of them.”

He nods, giving you a tight-lipped smile before he’s pushing his chair back and coming to a stand. You follow his movements, walking alongside him in silence as you exit his office.

You don’t expect the loud shriek that echoes through the walls when you walk down the corridor, back to his living room. Concern laces his features and he walks a little faster, but when you make it to the living room and past the front door you don’t know if you should keep following him.

You do anyways.

Upon entering the kitchen you’re met with one hell of a sight. Sat in a high chair is whom you presume to be Soori. A very unhappy version of her, anyways. She’s kicking and screaming so loud you fear she might break free from her constraints, the baby harness holding her back every time. You know she’s upset when her cries are also met with tears – real tears. Not crocodile ones babies often times shed when they can’t express discomfort so they just cry. In front of her, Mrs. Chae is holding a bottle and a pink plastic bowl, eyes going from one to the other and then to Soori, in complete desperation.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook says, coming to stand next to them.

“She- she won’t take her bottle. I tried the puree again but she doesn’t want that either. I’m sorry Mr. Jungkook.” Mrs. Chae says.

“Has she been crying this whole time?” He asks. Mrs. Chae simply nods.

The both of them keep going back and forth, with Jungkook asking how many ounces she had, if the bottle was perhaps cold. Or too hot.

You look at Soori, who’s crying hasn’t come to a cease, if anything getting louder at her dad’s arrival. You can see the grabby hands she makes at him and it tugs at your heart a little. You walk over to her. She’s probably the cutest baby you’ve ever seen – even when her chubby cheeks are flushed from all the crying and her eyes are swollen. A silky, single strand of black hair is held up by a pink bow – hair coming up in a little sprout. Adorable.

She looks just like her dad – button nose and big doe eyes. Not to mention the puffy cheeks.

Your next move is bold but you know this works. Well, you don’t know for sure but you can try. Her exasperation is getting to you too at this point. You reach for one of the bowls on the kitchen counter – a mush of what smells like peas. You plop a dollop of the puree in the table of her high chair. She looks confused at first, taking in the stranger in front of her and then the green glob that adorns the once impeccably white surface. You notice just how clean she is, as well. You’ve never seen a child this clean during lunch time.

After a couple of seconds her cries come to a stop. She looks at you one last time before she redirects her gaze to her food – hands curiously coming to smack at the mushy peas. Jungkook turns around at the sudden quietness. His eyes look like they’re about to burst out of his skull when he sees his daughter stare at her messy fist, hand covered in baby food. She observes it tentatively before bringing it to her mouth, her whole hand coming past her lips as she nibbles on its content. She looks nonchalant to say the least but when her hand repeats the movement, shoving another handful into her mouth, he feels like he could cry of relief.

“How-” he starts, flabbergasted.

“Um… she’s not going to feel fully comfortable with the sight and texture of the food if she doesn’t get a chance to explore it with her hands first.” You answer.

Soori hums in sweet satisfaction as she feeds herself. Jungkook turns to her, big toothy smile at his baby’s new found sound. It’s the first time you’ve seen his face take on that expression.

“Is it good, baby?” he coos and she smiles back at him, nose scrunching up imitating her father’s, mushy peas up to her hairline.

You smile. God, they’re cute.

But you know this is your queue. You adjust your bag strap over your shoulder, clearing your throat as you prepare to say goodbye and turn around. You can see yourself out.

“Thank you for-”

His next words nearly give you whiplash and it takes you a while to process them.

“When can you start?”

~

“And then what did you say?” Lucy listens to your detailed recollection of the recent events. She nods and winces and shakes her head at the brutal recount.

“Well, I was about to say goodbye. Yes, that chubby cheeked baby was calling my name but I couldn’t get out of there faster. But then,” you pause, remembering the exact moment, a little too vividly as his voice echoes in your memory.

“What! What?” Lucy’s eyes are attentive, never once leaving your face. But her hands follow another agenda, filling a shot glass to the brim, the clear liquid spilling a bit as she waits for your bomb to kaboom! In her face. This one’s looking exceptionally ghastly. She figures tequila could ease the impact.

“He asked me when I could start.” You finish.

“Wait, what? Come again?” She all but slams the bottle as she sets it back down on the kitchen counter.

“Yeah. I think it even took him by surprise. He went on to tell me that we could take a week of testing the waters before I signed the contract.” You tell her.

“The contract? Who are you babysitting? The next heir to the British throne?”

You laugh at this, “no. She’s cuter than any of those royal babies.” She smiles, downing the shot of tequila that she’d originally destined for you. You don’t need it. Neither does she but, oh well.

“And, Lucy… his assistant emailed me the contract, just in case I had something I wanted to negotiate,” you say, voice coming to a whisper.

“And?” She asks, confused.

“Think sleazy bar pay check,” she winces, “now double that.”

“Oh.”

“Now add one of those good months that I would get my work published and we could buy the fancy marmalade,” she nods in excitement, “now double that.”

“We’re RICH!” She screams, hands coming to hold yours as you both jump up and down to the beat of her movements.

“There’s only one problem,” you say, stilling.

“What?”

“His face…”

“What about it?”

“Picture an angel,” your gaze softens, she rolls her eyes.

“Yeah…”

“Picture the perfection,”

“I am, I am.” Lucy returns, eyes dreamy.

“Now double that.”

~

Jungkook enters his bathroom, mind busy with the weight of the day. Bed time went smoothly but he knows Soori will be up in two hours or so. He mentally prepares himself for another night of rocky sleep.

He reaches for his toothbrush, lathering a generous amount of toothpaste on top before letting the water run over it. He hates mundane tasks like these – his mind having to come to a halt, to fixate on the domestic. He thinks about Ira. He can’t help it. He pictures the routine they’d adapted for the past three years – imagines what she looked like brushing her teeth next to him. They’d stand next to each other in comfortable silence, aggressive silence and on really good days, mumbles between mouthfuls of toothpaste, talking about their days, his arm around her waist as he pinned her to the marble counter.

He can’t help but wonder where she is. If she’s well. If she cries at night when she turns off the lights the way he’s grown accustomed to since she left. He wonders if she misses Soori – her baby smell, the squish of her cheeks, the round of her eyes taking her in. She thinks about the fact she missed one of her milestones today – that satisfied hum when she enjoyed her mushy peas.

He wonders if she misses him, too.

He remembers the mess Soori had made during lunch, having to wash baby food off her hair afterwards. Ira would’ve rolled her eyes at the sight. She never liked it when she made a mess.

He wonders what she would think of you, of his decision to have you look after their baby.

He stops his train of thought.

His baby.

The realization exhausts him further and he heads to bed. He wonders when it’ll get easier. When it will stop hitting him in the face every time he lets his mind wonder in meaningless back and forth. He knows the answer to all of his previous questions – none of them are what he wants to hear.

He tugs his hoodie off with one hand, throwing it to the side before he gets under his covers. He sighs, a groan leaving his mouth at the feeling of the pillow against his head. His eyes close instinctively.

And then he thinks about you.

He’s spent a good portion of his day thinking about you, to be fair. The wellbeing of his daughter at the frontline of his thoughts, whether he made the right decision or not. He’d made up his mind pretty early into the interview and all it took was a happy baby enjoying mushy peas for him to break. He’s regretted his decision at least a dozen times today. But then during dinner time he mimicked your actions, an assortment of foods cut into small bites spread in front of Soori for her to explore. She was eating so fast he had to stop her twice and he got to hear her sweet little mmm a handful of times. That was enough for him to break again.

But as he nuzzles into his pillows his thoughts are not laced with parenting. He thinks about you. He doesn’t exactly follow the direction of his train of thought but he’s too tired to stop it.

He thinks of the words you so openly shared with him. He thinks of the way vulnerability took over your face in a way he’d never seen it shown so visibly in anyone before. He thinks about your yellow dress that all but startled him when he opened his front door, so bright you almost looked out of place. He tries to remember what you smelled like. He can’t put his finger on it. In fact, he doesn’t think he even focused on it long enough to remember. Honey, camelias, lavender, roses, wood- he stops himself. It’s a thought with a dead-end street. He finds no point in dwelling.

You were wearing high top converses.

Something about that makes way to his brain and he can’t quite explain it. Perhaps it’s an innocence he doesn’t interact with anymore. He thinks about twenty-three-year-old him – just as lost as you. He smiles but it’s unconscious as he slowly begins to succumb to a much-needed sleep. He thinks you look like a feeling buried down deep in his memory. He’s too tired to put a name to it but as his brain begins to shut down, his vulnerability comes afloat, cradling him. The feeling doesn’t have a name but it comes in a memory he’s not so sure it entirely belonged to him. Perhaps it’s a deep longing he stored inside his heart many years ago.

Salt water. The smell of Taehyung’s parents beach house. Sixteen. Slow days. A fight between innocence and desire. Infatuation masked by love. Promises of forever. Names that danced with his. Lemonade. His first sip of beer. Mrs. Kim’s lemon pie. An old beat-up jeep. Wind. Sand. Days so long they never truly eased into night. Sunrise escapades. The stars in the sky. And yellow. So much yellow.

~

If u made it this far can we talk about cute, soft, in-between-awake-and-asleep jk being all dreamy and reminiscing!!!! that was so hot of him. i truly hope you enjoyed – this story has been so fun to write so far and my mind is already working like rents due to whip out chapter three as fast as i can!! i, too, can’t wait for the sexy stuff, don’t worry. jk needs healing but its on its way!! hold on tight. also i will make it my purpose to get my girl lucy a match made in heaven for this fic bc she deserves the world. Thank u for reading and feel free to let me know what you thought of the chapter – i love talking to u guys. sending loads of love always!! xxxxx

STREAM PERMISSION TO DANCE IF U WANT DADDY JUNGKOOK TO FEEL BETTER OK he told me to tell u xx

[lovetorn]

homework help [roommate!dream au]

pairing: dream x reader

summary: wilbur helps you with homework and dream is angy >:(

w/c: 1.2k+

a/n: thank u for your request, anon! i hope this is good enough ahhah i made it into an actual one shot instead of replying to the ask because it ended up a lot longer than i thought.

warnings: swearing

roommate!dream masterlist

request: omg hi!! can i request more of r!dream being jealous of wilbur? thank you so much :)) —

Dream had asked you an hour ago whether or not you were coming for lunch with him and the boys, and you had said no. Instead, you sit at your desk, your fingers typing away answers for a handful of questions your professor gave you for one of your classes.

Glaring at the screen, you struggle with the last question. Your phone sits idly next to you and you stop yourself from messaging Wilbur for help—you’re sure he’s had enough of you asking him for the answers. But as you sit there for 10 more minutes, your stomach growling, the urge to text him grows and soon your thumbs are flying across your phone screen asking him.

Wilbur replies almost instantly and tells you he’s close to your apartment, so he may as well come over—you are ecstatic. You smile at your texts and feel a sense of relief; hopefully, after he’s helped you, you can go and see if the boys are still at lunch and get something before they leave.

Minutes later, there’s a soft knock on the apartment door and you rush to open it, grinning when you see the tall man coming to save you.

“Thank you,” You close the door behind him. “I’m stuck on the last question and I literally can’t do it.”

Wilbur laughs. “Well, luckily you’ve got the smartest guy in Psych 3 to help you,” He winks. You shove his shoulder and lead him to your room. He throws himself onto your bed and eyes the word document on your laptop. You close your bedroom door and sit down in your spinny chair, looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Okay, so basically, you just need to research a model that would fit the situation given. I used the Bioecological Systems Model, if that helps,” Wilbur explains, staring at your ceiling. “I suggest either the Normative and Non-Normative Development Model or the Dynamic Systems Perspective if you wanted to go a different route to mine.”

You nod and watch as he lolls his head to look at you. You sigh deeply and spin around to your laptop. “Okay. Please keep your thinking cap on if I ask you questions,” You giggle.

Starting your research, you hear Wilbur start humming an unfamiliar tune and the sound calms your brain that seems to be going a million miles a minute. Your eyes dart around the screen, looking at graphs and key elements within the different models and then you’re ready to answer the question.

The sound of the front door closing catches your attention as you type the last word of the long answer question. Your mood deflates when you realise you’ve missed the opportunity for lunch with Dream and the boys and you groan.

Wilbur catches on to your disappointment. “What’s up?”

You spin around to face him. “I was hoping I could still get lunch with Dream after I finished this. But he’s back already,” Wilbur nods.

A sudden knock at your bedroom door turns your attention from your concern on your hunger to the sound. “Come in!”

Dream peaks his head into your room, a smile on his face when he sees you. His eyes move to Wilbur on your bed and you see his smile falter. You pay no mind to it, though, choosing to look at the paper bag that Dream holds.

“I brought you lunch.”

You could cry at the sheer warmth that spreads across your chest at his gesture. You stand from your chair and walk over to him, grinning widely and taking the bag in your hands. You open the bag to see your favourite sandwich from the cafe down the road sitting wrapped in a piece of parchment paper.

“Dream,” You mumble, reaching your arm out to give him a side hug. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”

The blonde laughs, his chest vibrating against your cheek. His arm wraps around your shoulder and hugs you tightly. “As your roommate, I am obliged to buy you lunch when you can’t get it.”

You giggle and pull away from him to see him eyeing Wilbur, whose thumbs dart around his phone screen.

“I owe you one,” You say, smiling up at him. Dream’s gaze comes back to you and you melt at his generosity. His green eyes swim with something close to admiration and you’re sure yours are doing the same.

“I better get going then,” A voice calls from behind you. You turn to see Wilbur standing from your bed and your head tilts.

“But I need you to read over my answer!” You complain, pointing at your laptop.

Wilbur shakes his head. “It’s fine, you’re smart.” You throw your head back in exasperation and step forward to hug him.

“Bye,” You murmur, your face pressed against his sternum.

Wilbur laughs. “Just edit it before you submit it and I’m sure you’ll get full marks.” You nod and let him go.

You place the bag with your sandwich in it on your desk and watch as Wilbur brushes past Dream on his way out. “See ya, man!” He calls.

Dream’s expression is sour as he replies. “Bye!” The front door closes after Wilbur and Dream sighs. You turn towards your desk, pull out your lunch, and be careful not to spill any lettuce onto your floor.

“Why was Wilbur here?” Dream’s voice startles you for a moment, you didn’t expect him to still be in your room.

“He was helping me with the homework questions for Psych 3,” You reply, taking a bite of your sandwich. Dream walks further into your room and settles in your desk chair. He pulls your laptop towards him and his eyes pour over your words.

“It’s not very good, but Wilbur gave me some advice, so I hope it’s good enough,” You speak with your mouth full and Dream throws you an amused look.

You sit on the edge of your bed and chew on your lunch nervously. You’re never this anxious when Wilbur reads over your work, so what makes Dream any different?

After you’ve finished your sandwich and gulped down a bottle of water, Dream’s finished.

“It’s good!” He says, pushing off your desk to roll along the floor in your chair. You gnaw on your fingernail.

“Just good?” You ask, meeting his eyes. His gaze is hard and you fear it’s because he’s trying not to laugh at how bad it’s written.

“No, it’s good. I mean good in a good way, obviously,” Dream utters. “Fuck, it’s better than anything I’ve submitted for homework, I usually reserve my brain for assignments.”

His laugh allows you to ease up. “Yeah, that’s because you’re way smarter than me,” You admit, cheeks heating up. "Plus, Wilbur helped me, so that's the only reason it's good."

Dream’s eyebrows raise and then he’s looking at his hands, scoffing lightly. You don’t hear what he says.

“Huh?” You push, standing from your bed and walking to the trash can behind the door. Dream shakes his head.

“Nothing. Anyway…” He trails off before he, too, stands. “I got an assignment to work on…” He throws his thumb over his shoulder. “I better—”

“Yeah! Of course, go do your assignment,” You smile, opening the door wider to usher him out. Dream nods, his lips rolled between his teeth, and then he slides out of your room.

[myherowritings]

Hey There, Roomie

— After being set up on a bad date with Ushijima, he insists on walking you to your doorstep. Not wanting him to know where you live, you lead him to Iwaizumi’s apartment and pretend Iwaizumi is your roommate. 

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x reader word count: 4.0k genre: college/university au, fluff warnings: mentions of drinking, language, secondhand embarrassment, suggestive comments at the end, oikawa is meddlesome, awkward but cute confessions™!!

a/n: ur bad date is with ushiwaka ok i’m sorry he’s a nice guy but i had to make it someone HDJSJS,, also this is based on real life events except my friend who lived in an apartment near me isn’t cute like iwa-chan :( LMAOOO i hope u enjoy reading!!! xx sof

「 hq masterlist 」

“I assure you, you don’t have to walk me to my apartment.”

“It’s not a bother. I insist.” 

“No, it’s fine.” Although you tried to keep a smile on your face, you were certain it looked more like you were baring your teeth at him. “Really. You don’t have to do that.”

Ushijima shrugged. “I told you, it’s no big deal.” 

Your grin turned into a grimace as you stepped outside the car and headed towards your apartment complex. You managed to grit out, “Great. Thanks.”

A friend from your class had told you they had a friend of a friend who saw an Instagram post of you and thought you were cute. After they showed you a picture of him, you said the same. Little did you know it would lead to a mess of a date set up by said friend. 

The date was at a karaage chicken place and it was filled with the most uncomfortable silences you had sat through since office hours with a professor who you were sure hated you. Ushijima was nice enough and it wasn’t the worst date ever, but the two of you just did not click. You figured it was partly your fault for agreeing to meet with him despite not having a single clue about his interests and never having talked to him once, but it was too late to undo it now. 

He was a gentleman, at least. Offered to pay, held your seat out for you, drove you to your apartment complex, and, now, was trying to walk you to your doorstep. 

The thing was, you did not want him to know where you lived. 

You didn’t get red flags or feel threatened by any means, but having a guy you went on one uncomfortable date with know your exact address wasn’t really something that sat well with you. You’ve heard enough college horror stories to be wary. But, you didn’t have the heart to tell him explicitly not to walk you home… So the only solution? 

Head to your friend’s apartment in the same complex instead.

“Do you know where you’re going?” asked Ushijima, examining you as your eyes darted around from building to building. 

You’d been to Iwaizumi’s apartment before, but that didn’t stop you from looking lost and confused in this maze of houses. And it didn’t help to have Ushijima’s semi-condescending gaze on you the whole time. The worst part was, you were almost certain he didn’t even mean to be condescending— He just was. To you, at least. It definitely rubbed you the wrong way during the date. 

“Yeah,” you laughed, walking past your apartment, “of course I know where my own apartment is.” 

Iwaizumi’s place was just a few buildings north of yours, which you were quick to remember after catching sight of your place. You briefly wondered if he would be home on a Friday night, but quickly decided it wasn’t important. It’s not like you would be entering his house anyway. In fact, if all went well, he might never even know you were outside his apartment to begin with. 

The plan was to have Ushijima drop you off at the doorstep (since he so unwaveringly insisted that he had to and it was no trouble for him to do so), tell him goodbye, fumble with your bag to “look for your keys” as he walked off, then—when he was out of sight—dash to your apartment and lock yourself in your bedroom for the remainder of the night. 

A foolproof plan. 

“Well, we’re here!” you chirped, standing outside Iwaizumi’s door labeled 237E. You whirled around to face Ushijima. “Thanks for walking me. See you around!” 

“Of course.” He nodded but made no move to leave. 

Your smile wavered. Was he waiting for you to enter your house safely? If he didn’t seem so innocent, it would’ve been incredibly creepy. 

“Err,” you drawled, ruffling through your bag. “I’m just finding my keys. You can leave now; I don’t want to keep you any longer!” 

“It’s not a problem.”

Your right eye twitched. What did he think could possibly happen in the time it took you to unlock your door and enter? While it was sweet—in a very suffocating way—it wasn’t what you wanted. After the bad date that was disappointing for the both of you, you expected him to eat his food and dip. Not see you all the way into your house despite the fact that, deep down, he’d much rather be in his own home. It was domineeringly kind.

Didn’t he understand how stressful this could be for someone? His obliviousness was overbearing, but you supposed you couldn’t blame Ushijima when you didn’t verbalize your discomfort to him. 

“Everything okay?” he asked for what felt like the fifth time that night. 

You chuckled nervously. “I guess I…can’t find my keys?” Looking at him sheepishly, you scratched the back of your head. “But, my roommates will probably be home soon! Or, they might be here now. I’ll just ring the doorbell when you leave!” 

Ushijima blinked. “Why not ring the doorbell now?” 

“R-Right,” you stammered, unsure whether you wanted to rip your hair out or cry in frustration. Maybe both would be good. “That’s smart. I can do that.” 

He looked at you expectantly. 

You winced, bringing your pointer finger to the white button of the doorbell. Before you even had the time to gather the courage to press it, the door swung open suddenly, startling you enough to let out a small yelp.

“Ah—! Iwaizumi!” you cried, eyes wide as you stared face to face with your very confused-looking friend. He glanced between you and Ushijima with a questioning expression, but you rambled on before he could say anything. “Hey there, roomie!” You batted your lashes, pleading with him to play along. “I forgot my keys again.” 

Iwaizumi’s face displayed a look of pure confusion and you were certain he must never have gotten any acting awards when he was younger. His expression became even more puzzled when you wiggled your way inside the door, standing snugly next to his side. 

After an awkward silence, you continued again, “Well, thanks for walking me Ushijima-san! And thank you for the date. Maybe I’ll see you around.” 

If he noticed anything suspicious going on, he didn’t show it. Instead he simply nodded and wished you a goodnight. 

Yup, there was definitely no chance of Ushijima wanting to ask you out on a second date. Not that you were complaining. 

You shut the door—the door to an apartment that wasn’t even your own, mind you—and let out a sigh of relief. With your eyes closed and your back resting against the wall, you momentarily forgot you were standing in the entrance of Iwaizumi’s living room. That was, until you started feeling his heavy gaze on you. 

Gulping at the intensity, you cracked your right eye open ever so slightly. “Yes?” you asked innocently.

“Yes?” repeated Iwaizumi incredulously, voice raised in exasperation. “You want to explain what just happened here?” 

You had a sudden interest in your shoes as you shuffled in place. Iwaizumi was your friend and someone you considered yourself semi-close to— Comfortable enough to hang out with regularly and talk with almost every day, but not someone that you confided in with no qualms. And definitely not someone close enough for it to be normal to show up at his place unannounced. You were much closer to his best friend, Oikawa, but that was largely due to him finding out you had a big crush on Iwaizumi a number of months ago and feeling the need to tease you endlessly. Apparently, nothing brought people together like relentless goading. 

“Another bad date,” you answered with a noncommittal tone. “A friend set me up with that guy you saw, Ushijima, and the date was so awkward.” 

He folded his arms across his chest, pulling his white t-shirt snug around his biceps. You tried not to let your eyes bug out of their sockets at the sight. “And yet you let him bring you home?” 

“I couldn’t say no! I tried dropping hints but he just didn’t get it.” You looked up, a sheepish half-smile on your face. “But I was smart enough not to bring him to my apartment. Hence why I came here. Roomie.”

Iwaizumi let out an exasperated half-chuckle, half-sigh as he motioned for you to come further inside. You slipped off your shoes at the doorway and followed him into the living room, taking a seat on the couch next to him. He rested his arm against the headrest of the sofa and you were consciously aware of his hand mere inches behind your head. 

“Are your other housemates here?” you asked, curious as to why there wasn’t the usual amount of chatter and rage gaming from inside their respective rooms. 

He shook his head. “They’re all back at their hometowns for the weekend.” 

“And poor Iwa-chan is home all alone on a Friday night instead of out partying with friends?” you teased, reaching over to pat the top of his head mockingly. 

Glaring at you for the nickname, he lightly swatted your hand away. “You’ve been spending too much time with Oikawa. His shittyness is rubbing off on you.” There was the slightest hint of amusement in his voice to let you know he was only joking. “And being home alone is better than being stuck with a bad date.”

“Ouch,” you cried, crossing one leg over the other and sticking your tongue out at him. “Yeah, sure, I would rather have been curled up in my bed than go on that date— But you didn’t have to call me out like that.” You pouted. “At least I got free food, I guess.” 

He rolled his eyes with a snort. “If you were uncomfortable, you could’ve called me to come pick you up.”

Despite his gruff voice, there was a look of concern on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed and the corners of his mouth were downturned. Iwaizumi’s offer made you feel warm in the stomach, even if you were sure he was just saying it out of courtesy.

“Or better yet,” he continued in a murmur, “don’t let your friends set you up on dates with guys you barely know, dumbass.” 

“Hey! Aren’t you and Oikawa the ones always telling me I need to go out and date more in the first place?” you said, huffing at his insult. 

They told you your college years were your prime dating years and you might regret not going out with a variety of people now. When else would you have the free time and the patience to date, anyway? That was part of the reason you agreed to blind dates and set ups, after all. If Iwaizumi was insisting you date around, that most certainly meant he didn’t reciprocate your feelings for him. Meaning, you had to get over him somehow before the hurt could kick in, even if that somehow included less than ideal fraternization. 

“I never said that,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “Why would I tell you to go on dates with other people? It was just Oikawa who said you should.” 

You blinked in confusion. “But you were there and you nodded in agreement.” 

He shifted his body to get a better look at you, a scowl on his face. “I did not. You were drunk and you probably thought my head was moving when it wasn’t.”

“Well, you were drunk too! Maybe your head was moving and you just didn’t know.” The lines between his forehead deepened and you laughed, unable to stop yourself from tapping the wrinkles with your ring finger. “Don’t think too hard; you might hurt your brain.”

“You really have been spending too much time with Shittykawa,” he said with a defeated sigh. “But whatever you think I said back then, it’s probably not what I meant. You shouldn’t date anyone unless you want to.” 

The thing was, you did want to date someone. Iwaizumi. You were just under the impression he didn’t want to date you. 

You shrugged. “What about you? Have you been dating people you don’t want to?” 

He shook his head. “No. I haven’t dated anyone recently,” he admitted, averting his gaze from you for the first time that night. “I actually...am interested in someone, though.” 

Your stomach dropped. Oh.

“But I don’t think they like me.” 

Trying not to show him the crestfallen expression on your face, you looked down at your lap. You had been mentally preparing yourself to accept that Iwaizumi didn’t have a crush on you like you had on him—you were ready to face the harsh reality—but you were not expecting him to tell you he liked someone else on top of that. That was just a double blow to your gut.

You forced out a laugh, hoping it didn’t sound too strained. “That’s silly. Of course they like you.” 

“I didn’t even tell you who it was.”

“Don’t need to,” you said diffidently, fingers toying with a loose thread on the blue sofa. “I already know. There’s no way someone wouldn’t like you back.”

Iwaizumi snorted disdainfully. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Them going on dates with other people and telling me about them after seems to be a solid indicator that they don’t.”

You froze, letting go of the string you accidentally pulled from the couch. Now, you wouldn’t say you were an overly optimistic person, but you still couldn’t help but think the situation he described was oddly familiar to yours. There was a large chance he was referring to someone else, but with the way you felt his smoldering gaze on your body, you wondered if maybe, just maybe, he could be talking about you. 

“Maybe they think you don’t like them so they’re going on those dates to get rid of their crush on you— But only because they thought you told them to do so! And, honestly, the dates probably aren’t helping at all on getting rid of the crush; it just makes it get even bigger and bigger as they realize they can’t like anyone the same way they like you and now they don’t know what to do,” you babbled, unable to stop the word vomit.

After processing the words that you had just uttered, you slapped your hands over your mouth to shut yourself up. That was a little more than you had originally wanted to say… Okay, a lot more. You winced. You wanted to subtly hint that you were talking about yourself, not be so obvious as to yell it out with a megaphone and have a blinking billboard pointing your way. 

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

You could only hope Iwaizumi was oblivious enough to let this whole thing go and assume that you were only speaking hypothetically. But he was smarter than that. You knew it. He may be a little dense when it came to romance, but even he couldn’t be dumb enough to misunderstand your conspicuous slip up. 

Your stomach churned as you awaited his response.

“So,” he spoke slowly, keeping his cautious regard on you, “Oikawa was right?” 

You blinked. That wasn’t the response you were expecting. But things just didn’t seem to go as planned today, you supposed. “What do you mean?”

“You do like me, then?”

“W-What? When did…” You gaped, trailing off as your throat tightened. “He told you that?” 

“A month ago, he told me he thought you might like me,” Iwaizumi admitted, a rosy red darkening the apples of his cheeks. “But that was before you started going on those crazy dates, so I figured he was wrong.” 

A cry of indignation escaped your lips as you heard the news. “Seriously?”

He nodded.

“No way!” you sputtered in disbelief. “He found out I liked you months ago— At the beginning of the school year! And then last month, Oikawa told me I should to get over you by going on a bunch of dates.” 

Your brows were furrowed and arms folded as you glared into the sky, wishing Oikawa were there so you could yell at him for making a fool of you. Iwaizumi caught your gaze with a disgruntled look of his own. 

“What on earth?” you groaned, burying your face in your palms.

“I’ll kick his ass the next time I see him,” Iwaizumi vowed.

“Please,” you muttered, a thousand thoughts racing through your mind. 

Oikawa knew you had a crush on Iwaizumi. Why would he tell him behind your back? And was Iwaizumi’s response negative? Is that why Oikawa told you to date to get over him? Trying to understand Oikawa’s thought process was enough to almost give you a headache. 

“But, wait,” said Iwaizumi quietly, effectively interrupting your train of thoughts. “Months?” 

You peeked at him through the cracks between your fingers. “Huh?”

“You said you liked me for months now? Since the start of this school year?” 

The heat rose to your cheeks in embarrassment. “T-That’s not the point—!” 

“Because I’ve liked you for a few months now too,” he interrupted before you could deny anything. Your eyes shot open as you stared straight at Iwaizumi, just now noticing the serious expression on his face. 

Was this a confession?

“Ever since that night we ditched our friends to stay inside and watch Godzilla instead of going to the party.” He shared a small, slightly sheepish smile with you as he recalled the memory. 

In the beginning of the year before classes had started but everyone had already moved into their respective apartments, Oikawa decided everyday of the week leading up to the first day of school would be a good day to get shit-faced drunk. It was fun for the first three days, but by day four you were getting worn out, and by day five, just the thought of consuming one more jello shot made you shudder. 

So when Iwaizumi—who you had then only recently realized you had a crush on—suggested you two sneak away to his empty apartment and watch some movies instead, you were more than happy to oblige. 

“I thought you looked...cute that night,” Iwaizumi managed, his voice gruff and tentative. “It was funny how you were scared by the movies even though it was hardly even horror.” He snorted at the recollection, hints of a grin playing on his face. “And I may have realized then that I had already started liking you.”

You bit the inside of your lip to keep your face from splitting into a beam. Your eyes were wide open, almost as if you were in a daze and were only dreaming the events of this night had happened. Iwaizumi shoved his hands in his sweatpants’ pockets, ducking his head to hide his delight at this situation.

“You like me too?” you asked breathlessly. There was still a tone of disbelief in your voice. 

He nodded. “Have for a while now. But I didn’t tell Oikawa about it until last month. And that’s when he said he thought you liked me back.” 

At his words, you visibly relaxed. So Oikawa didn’t blab about your crush on his best friend— Though, in all honesty, maybe if he had, you could’ve had a relationship with him sooner. You leaned your head back against the headrest of the couch with a sigh. “Then if he knew you liked me, why did he tell me to date other people that night we were all out drinking together?” 

“To piss me the fuck off.”

You laughed in surprise, not expecting Iwaizumi to sound so furious. 

“He probably wanted to get me to disagree with him, that dumbass,” he hissed, a scowl forming on his face. Even with his nose scrunched and forehead crinkled, you thought Iwaizumi was as handsome as ever.

“Maybe Oikawa thought you wouldn’t confess without his help so he wanted to push your buttons and make you jealous by seeing me date other people,” you said, chuckling at the audacity of this situation. 

Iwaizumi apparently didn’t share your amusement, since his scowl deepened. “I would’ve confessed without his unwanted help,” he grunted. But you knew he wasn’t too annoyed by his best friend. Oikawa never had any ill-intentions towards the two of you, and you both were aware of that. “I was a little jealous, though,” he admitted with flushed cheeks. “And I may have gotten a bit happier every time you told me afterwards that you didn’t like your date—especially tonight.”

You smiled shyly at him, only mildly embarrassed by the routine you two had picked up. Go on a date (usually prompted by Oikawa), wish your date was Iwaizumi the whole time, go home, message Iwaizumi about your bad date, repeat. But in today’s case, you went to him in person instead of texting. 

“But I was dreading that one night you’d message saying your date went well,” he said, hands balled up into fists and gaze downcast. “Or worse— Not message that night at all.”

Your expression turned somber as you realized that while you were casually dating around to try to get over Iwaizumi, he was there watching you go out with other people. A feeling of guilt spread through you as you bowed your head slightly, wishing you had taken the chance to tell him your feelings instead of trying to toss them aside. 

“Iwaizumi, I’m so sorry,” you said. “I didn’t even think about how it could be affecting you.” 

“Hey, it’s okay.” He placed his closed hand on the top of your head, making you look up at him. He nodded once. “You didn’t know. And Assikawa was the one pushing you to go on dates you didn’t want,” he said wryly, though his tone was more amused than bitter. “But maybe now you don’t have to keep going on those bad dates anymore.” 

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. Was he offering—?

“Y’know,” he said, “if you… If we…”

“Went on a date?” you completed, hesitant but hopeful. “With each other, I mean.”

“Yes. With each other.” He held his breath. “What do you think?”

After a beat of silence, your face split into a grin. You practically jumped off the couch in excitement, bouncing towards Iwaizumi to tackle him into a hug. He let out a surprised grunt, but caught you in his arms nonetheless.  

“I think you could’ve saved me loads of wasted nights if you had asked a month earlier!” you laughed, burrowing your face into his chest— His very strong, very muscular chest that had no business being this comfortable. “To think all this time I could’ve been going on dates with you instead of random people I end up blocking a day after?”

His right hand rested between your shoulder blades while his left was lightly cupping the back of your head. He chuckled and you felt the vibrations through his thin t-shirt. 

“We’ll have plenty of time to make up for it now,” he said, voice warm and inviting. “We can catch up on dates this whole weekend. Or just rewatch all of Godzilla again.” 

“That sounds like the perfect date weekend.” The grin on your face never left as you stayed tangled in his arms. “And your roommates aren’t back until Monday, hmm?”

He titled his head down at you to see your expression, the corner of his mouth quirked upward as he smirked. “Yup. They’ll be gone all weekend.”

You two exchanged knowing looks, causing you to wiggle your eyebrows suggestively and make him laugh. His ears turned red and when you pointed it out he got even redder. You smiled at each other as you held him even tighter. 

It didn’t matter what you two would be doing this weekend. All you cared about was getting to spend more time with Iwaizumi.

“Then we most definitely have a lot of catching up to do.” 

[nonclassyparty]

I'm a new writer so I'm experimenting and trying to find my flow of things on here and I could always use some tips and tricks, so I'd like to ask what are some of the things that annoy you the most in fics/works you read? Like what's something that immediately turns you away from a fanfic? (Love your blog and your works by the way❤️)

omg thank u so much and good luck on your own fics!!

WELL...i have a feeling this will be long bc 😭

-anything colleen hoover-esque...i think that one is pretty self-explanatory and tiktok is going to hell for ever making her books a big deal.

-when y/n is fawking boring and i don't mean the goody-two-shoes type bc even that yn has something going for her but when she just...has no personality at all, no hobbies, no interests no life outside of having sex with the male interest LIKE COMEONNNN make her do yoga or something. she's a character. you could literally make her a stripper that works part-time for nasa and nobody can tell u shit but instead all we know about her is that she likes food and breathing air.

-i usually love social media aus. i think they're cute and fun to read BUT BUT BUT BUT i hate when the conversation between the characters goes off track while they're texting in an attempt to be quirky and funny but it just ends up being annoying. like etc san mentioning his grandma died in the gc and the boys interrupting him while he texts with random ass memes and 'who finished the piece of cake i was saving for later' and then a fight breaks out in the gc while poor san just wants to mourn his nana like STFU!! nobody is texting like that irl

-when things that are supposed to deeply hurt are glossed over and sometimes even turned into something sexual. u're gonna laugh but the only example i have for this rn is one of those scenes where etc yn and male character are roommates but she's in love with him and he brings a girl home to hook up with. TOO MANY TIMES the chapter ends with yn fawking masturbating to their moans and stuff like????? BE SERIOUS. if the love of your life was fucking someone in the room next door u would NOT be horny, u would be shaking crying and throwing up all over ur bed. but that's just me idk what y'all have going on

-when there is not enough dialogue. i personally have a problem with this, i'm trying really hard to get better at it but u can notice it easily in less than zero and svoh. i was re-reading 'the first love' the other day bc i wanted to write a yunho drabble and i was like '??? damn?? there is almost no talking in here it's almost all narrated'. if the narration/description parts get too long i lose attention and get bored so i sometimes skim through them and miss important details. if i came across 'the first love' by nonclassyparty i would skipped lmfao

i'm so sorry that this ended up being so long but i took this a little too personally and ended up ranting before bed time 😭😭😭

[stickyy]

I loved what you wrote about student! college! aizawa,if it's not too much trouble,I would like to read a second part but it contains a sub!aizawa,dom!reader,mommy kink and pegging please. I have to take advantage of the fact that you are the first blog with dark content that I see that accepts pegging,an opportunity that I will not miss,but if it gets complicated for you oh you don't like it,you can reject my request.

DISCLAIMER: always ask for consent first!

warnings: DUBCON, sub!aizawa, edging, verbal abuse, bondage, pegging, gn!reader but light mommy kink is used in reference to, praise kink if you squint?, slightly unrealistic depictions of pegging, reader is fed up but that doesnt excuse their actions :P

word count: 3489

notes: sorry for the delay, i hope u like anon! :D there should always be more pegging fic out there

part 1 here

EXAM SEASON

Finals season is quickly approaching, sending the entire campus into a frenzy, students scrambling like displaced ants trying to finish last minute assignments, novel-esque essays, merciful extra credit projects. The workload takes its toll on everyone, even the star students. You found Aizawa in even worse moods more frequently; a schedule consisting of all nighters spent studying old material followed by early classes and a job on the side, he was absolutely exhausted. You sometimes sneak a peek over at him during class to see his head bobbing slightly, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open as he fights sleep. A small part of you feels bad for him; he’s a diligent student, and you were sympathetic to his exhaustion.

You still hate the asshole, though.

You found yourself snagged in a twisted sort of arrangement with Aizawa after midterms. There was always a half-assed attempt at tutoring you before giving up and cramming his cock down your throat or deep inside your cunt, leaving you sore and dripping with his cum, all the while spewing insults targeted at your intelligence (or lack thereof). In exchange, he’d complete your assignments and allow you to copy his answers on exam days. Ignoring the situation is where you make peace with yourself; you feel used, but you also have no other option if you want to pass this class.

What you hate the most is the way you roll over and take it. You’re more than just a hole to fuck, you know that, but you’re helpless against his searing abuse and venomous scowls. Even when you try to be nice, it only makes him crueler, your soft pleas and offers of peace an invitation to tear you down and make you cry. You want to fight, to claw and tear into him out of spite. You don’t want to feel so weak anymore.

So, you decide to do something about it.

It’s late, campus illuminated by street lamps and headlights of cars passing by as you make your way into the dorms. After your first encounter, Aizawa began inviting you back to his room instead of the library, deciding to “study” in his personal space as opposed to possibly getting caught in the library with his cock down your throat. You didn’t complain, but it’s especially convenient today, with what you have planned. Knocking on the door softly, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, anxious for what’s to come.

“Open,” he calls out from inside, prompting you to enter. You pass through the messy common room he shares with his roommate and enter his bedroom, opening the door quietly. Aizawa’s room is tidy compared to the outside, bed made, tousled only where he sits with his laptop, typing.

“You’re late,” he squints at you from behind the screen, shutting the device. “Not surprising.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, placing your book bag on the floor and taking out the very heavy law textbook (that you hadn’t bothered to open since midterms). You take your seat next to him and open to the most recent chapter you read over. He’s silent, only speaking to answer your questions as you focus on the text. You can tell he’s sleepy, his responses slurred and delayed, and you glance over to see him dozing off. Late study sessions and Aizawa’s recent exhaustion meant more often than not that he fell asleep before tormenting you. The first time was startling, but you learned that it was a regular occurrence. 

You prefer Aizawa when he’s drowsy. His usually hard features were softened, quiet snores rumbling from his chest. His dark hair messily framing his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed, arms folded over his chest. He’s good-looking, no doubt. If his personality matched, you could see yourself falling for him.

His eyes open, shooting you a questioning look, and you duck your head back into your textbook, embarrassed at being caught staring.

You keep quiet for another 20 or so minutes, waiting until he’s truthfully asleep and not just resting. You have to be careful not to wake him, as you aren’t keen on being reprimanded for what you're about to do.

Once you’ve deemed it safe, you stealthily open your bag and retrieve the small plastic bag stored inside. With the help of online shopping, you bought some handcuffs, lube, a dildo, and a harness. You aren’t all into pegging, but this was less about the sex and more about proving yourself, forcing him to respect you, in some perverse way. You retrieve the cuffs, gripping them carefully as to not make any sounds. This is the most crucial part; as long as you could get him restrained, you’d could dish out any revenge you desire. You slip off of the bed and tip-toe, almost comically, around the other side of the bed. You test the waters, snapping your fingers near Aizawa. He doesn’t stir, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing.

You steel yourself with a deep breath; this was your chance. You make quick work with the handcuffs, gently yet hastily clicking the metal around one wrist and looping the cuffs through the headboard before securing his other wrist. A grin spreads across your face; you’re thankful he’s such a deep sleeper.

Now that you had him where you wanted him, you were paralyzed by the sheer amount of possibilities. You climb over him apprehensively, hovering over the unconscious man, who only shifts minutely. The peaceful look on his face puts a small pit in your stomach; this was wrong… right? Technically, this was assault. You frown, a small chill running down your spine. Is this what you had become? It was almost enough to convince you to stop, but you force yourself to remember the first time Aizawa had his way with you, the way you choked and gagged and had to hide your face until you could find a bathroom to wipe off the dried cum that adhered to your skin.

This was his fault; he made you like this.

“Fuck it,” you say aloud, bracing yourself before grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking, hard. He awakes with a surprised gasp, wrenching his head away from the assault.

“The fuck?” He bites, eyes drowsily scouring the situation. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just waking you up,” you smile, releasing your grip. “It’s kind of boring watching you sleep. I thought we were supposed to be studying.”

Aizawa gives you an agitated look, disoriented as he tries to move, only to find his range of motion limited. “You fucking handcuffed me?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t wake up,” you chuckle, sliding your hands under his shirt and running your hands over his taut stomach. He keeps his eyes on you with an expectant expression, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, I like you so much more when you're asleep,” you continue, idly tracing patterns on the skin of his abdomen. “No insults, no curses, no glaring. You’re pretty handsome when you’re not being a total douchebag.”

“Let me go,” he ignores you, yanking the handcuffs. “This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s pretty funny, actually. You’ve spent all semester treating me like shit, and for what? All I’ve done is be nice to you, even after you call me names and abuse me. It hurts my feelings, you know? It’s not like I’m trying to fail this class, I just needed a little extra help, and you take advantage of that every week. So I do think this is pretty fucking hilarious. Maybe you’ll see just how great I feel when you bully me.”

If looks could kill, your heart would have stopped right then and there. Rage burns behind his glare when he meets your eyes, still struggling to break the cuffs. You’d never seen him like this; at his worst, he seems moderately annoyed in your day to day. Despite being an insufferable asshole, he always manages to keep a cool air about him. Never giving anyone much of a reaction, he’s only nasty when he desires. Watching his face take a red tint and his eyes narrow in frustration send waves of satisfaction rippling through your chest. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he grits out, “If you let me go now, I’ll forget all about this. I promise that you don’t want what’s coming for you once I get out of these cuffs.”

He did have a point; you had no idea what you were doing. That wasn’t going to stop you, though.

“Aw, it’s not so fun now, isn’t it?” You coo at him in a demeaning tone, pouting dramatically. Your wandering hands slid to his crotch, where you could feel his length stirring curiously. You bark out a laugh.

Pulling down his sweats and boxers, your mouth waters at his hardening length. Normally, your stomach would drop at the sight in anticipation for physical abuse you were about to receive. But this? This was different; knowing that you’re the one in control is absolutely captivating. You take his cock in your hands, slowly working your hand up and down. He stays silent in defiance, steady in his glare in an attempt to intimidate you. It would work, usually, but with his hands bound there was nothing he could do to you. He’s betrayed by a pleased noise that slips from his throat.

“Don’t tell me you like this? You want to be taken advantage of, is that it?” you taunt, basking in his agitation as you speed your hand up, thumbing the pre gathering on the slit.

“Watch it,” is his only response, voice dangerously low. He keeps quiet, not willing to surrender to the reactions you’re trying to draw from him. It’s a challenge, if anything, and you weren’t going to back down..

He’s fully erect in no time- you’ve spent enough time as his cocksleeve to know exactly what he likes and responds to. His eyes fall shut as you squeeze tighter, hips canting up into your hand, chasing his own release. You keep it up until he gets a little louder, close to release, and you pull your hand away, watching his dick twitch helplessly.

“Fuck- why’d you stop?” he asks groggily, opening his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I was just going to let you cum that easily, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” you shuffle off of the bed, smiling over your shoulder as you hook your thumbs in the band of your leggings. You make a show of sliding the material down over your ass, purposefully leaning over and arching your back. You hear a pleased growl from the bed, causing you to giggle as you pull your underwear down as well.

“You could still let me go,” he offers, giving you a once over as you climb back over him, “I could forget about this if you let me fuck you.”

“Nice try, but I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” you grab your bag from the floor, retrieving the lube but leaving the dildo and harness obscured in the bag. You squeeze a generous amount onto your fingers, causing Aizawa to give you a puzzled look.

“You don’t need lube, you’re always so wet for me,” it’s more of a question than an observation, since your previous trysts never included anything but his spit and your own juices. You just give him a smile before nudging his thighs open with your own, trailing your hand slowly beneath his balls, settling in between his ass and your lubed fingers circle the muscle there. The look on his face is priceless, absolutely shocked at the prospect of you inside of him. He thrashes in protest but you’re steadfast, pinning his hips down with your other hand.

“You can’t be serious,” his voice is alarmed, almost erring on the side of anxious, “you’re dumber than I thought if you think you’re just going to get away with any of this shit.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you sing-song, using your dry hand to tug playfully on the cuffs, “You’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“I’m going to beat your cunt up when I get out of these,” it’s a threat, and you ignore the way your stomach flutters at the words, eyes trained on his as you push two fingers inside.

He grunts, his face scrunching up, almost cutely, at the burn of the stretch. You expected him to be tight, but given how tense he is, it’s difficult to push all the way inside. You take it slow, savoring the pained expression on his face; it’s a stark contrast to his cocky demeanor when you’re being subjugated to his abuse. His chest is heaving, a lovely red flush spreading across his skin, eyebrows knit tight, lips bitten red- you’re obsessed. You move your fingers in and out slowly, scissoring just gently enough not to seriously hurt him, but enough to watch him writhe. His dick twitches despite (or maybe due to?) the pain, still red and dripping.

“This is priceless,” you laugh, “if you wanted to get fucked so badly, all you had to do was ask, you know? Mommy would’ve taken care of it for you.”

“Mommy?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you’re insane.”

Any further insult is cut off with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting open in shock, and you know you’ve found it.

You stroke his prostate with a heavy hand, grinding your fingers into the spongy spot inside of him as he struggles to breathe, back arching deliciously. You can’t help but smirk; you kind of get it now. If this is how tormenting you makes Aizawa feel, then you understand why he was so cruel.

“Fuck,” he chokes on a whine that sends heat down your spine, . Your wrist is beginning to strain, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s cute; he’s writhing, his hips seeking the stimulation he was previously avoiding as he moans openly, loudly. His cock is an angry purple, pre pooling on his stomach from where it’s leaking. He looks like he’s close, eyes beginning to roll back when you pull your fingers out, laughing as you ruin his orgasm for the second time.

“Please,” he’s breathless, a betrayed look on his face as his hips rock on nothing, desperate to cum.

“Begging already? We haven’t even gotten started yet!”

You reach over into the plastic bag, pulling out the dildo and harness. You can clearly see the fear on his face this time as he moves to sit up, the fog of pleasure clearing quickly.

“Wait,” panic sets in his voice yet again. If you were him, you would be scared too; the toy is thicker than the two fingers you used, something you chose purposefully. You stand and slip on the harness, ignoring his attempts to reason with you.

“What’s wrong? I thought I didn’t know what I was doing?” you ask innocently, forcing your hips between his legs and drizzling some lube on the toy, warming it up with your palm.

“That’s the fucking problem, you idiot, you don’t,” he seethes, pulling on the restraints again, “It won’t fit, and you’re not sending me to the hospital.”

“Exactly, I won’t send you to the hospital. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you,” you coo, settling between his legs.

“Just let me go,” it’s the first genuine plea you’ve heard from him, the sincerity pulling your attention to his eyes where you see a look you can’t quite place. He looks… afraid? Remorseful? It’s enough to give you pause, equal parts consideration and schadenfreude. You settle for leaning forward and placing an uncharacteristically saccharine kiss on his forehead, your humanity getting the best of you.

“All you have to do is relax, okay?” you whisper, resting the tip of the toy against his entrance. He shuts his eyes in anticipation, resigned to his fate, and you push in gently, watching his hole swallow the silicone. The way Aizawa contorts, back bowed to scoot away from the pressure of the toy is salacious, drawing a moan from deep within your chest. He can’t get far due to the restraints, and he lets out a soft sob at the stretch of the toy, face scrunched tight. You push slowly until you bottom out, your hips pressed firmly against his, grinding in small circles to alleviate your own ache. He exhales shakily, unaware that he was holding his breath.

“See, it’s not so bad right?” you soothe, rubbing your thumb against his hip soothingly. “You should be grateful; I’m so much nicer than you are.”

“Fuck you,” it comes out weaker than intended, his voice strained as he tries to adjust to the girth of the toy. 

You pull out slowly, experimentally, watching his stomach clench from the sensation of silicone caressing his insides. His dick gives an interested twitch, despite his demeanor, and that’s the invitation you need to start moving. It’s a little awkward at first, but your enthusiasm combined with the size of the toy more than makes up for your inexperience. He’s breathless, still uncomfortable, but you can see his body slowly relax as he tries to make sense of the sensations coursing through his body.

“You like this, don’t you?” you dig, eyes transfixed on his face, “Is that why you're so mean to me? You strut around like an asshole, just to hide the fact that you’re just a little bitch?”

You focus on angling your hips, searching for his prostate again, and when you find it, you commit to fucking him. He’s loud, stray tears sliding down his face as his body struggles to comprehend both the pain of the stretch and pleasure of the abuse.

“Fuck, you’re cute like this,” you sigh, “you’re meant for this, aren’t you? Meant to get your ass bred by your Mommy? You’d be so much more tolerable if you were sweet like this all of the time.”

His dick jerks violently but he shakes his head with a weak ‘no’, too lost in the sensation to retort any further. You’re soaked by now, the pressure of the toy on your end combined with the power trip pushing you to the edge. It takes all of your self-control, but you suddenly stop, unwilling to let yourself finish so quickly; there’s still unfinished business here.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” it comes out before you can even really think about it, but the words hang heavily in the air.

“Huh?”

“You’re never nice to me, so if you want me to even consider letting you cum, you better start kissing up.”

He hesitates, but when you shift slightly and the blunt head of the toy rubs against his prostate, he changes his tune very quickly.

“Fuck- you’re cute, ‘s the reason why I’m mean to you. So cute when you’re about to cry-” you give him a particularly hard slap on his ass and he winces, muttering a quick apology.

“You’re pretty even when I’m not fucking you, too,” is all you get, but it’s the first genuine compliment you’ve gotten out of the asshole since you’ve met him, and your heart soars. He’s awful and mean and evil but the simple statement is enough for you.

“I’ll let you cum if you beg for it,” you grunt, rutting your hips enthusiastically. You’re close, but you refuse to finish first. He’s needy, thanks to being edged twice, and he’s unable to resist your promise.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum,” he whimpers, voice wet and eyes watery.

“Please what?”

“Mommy! Fuck, please mommy, just let me cum, it hurts, fuck, please,” he babbles, and it’s enough for you. You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it firmly, hips speeding up as you chase your own release. It’s quick- he finishes almost embarrassingly fast, and the whorish wail that rips from his throat sends you right over the edge, your vision blurring at the corners as you stay trained on his face, obscene and submissive.

It’s quiet after you stop, both of you catching your breath. You pull out slowly, watching the way his hole flutters and you giggle, your body and ego fully satiated. You look back to his face; he looks more fucked out than you’ve ever seen him, almost like he’s about to fall back asleep.

“Can we call it a truce?” You break the silence, grinning as he cracks open an eye to give you a scalding look.

“Fuck. You.”

[alfredolover119]

I looooove your zukka rec lists! I recently became Avatar-obsessed, never got a chance to watch it as a kid and only just got through it all! I was wondering if you'd consider doing a specifically angst rec list? I love fluffy zukka everything, but sometimes you just gotta have your heart ripped out of your chest and put back in after being thoroughly blended.

thank you! i relate heavily to “recently became Avatar-obsessed” haha. as for the angst list, i sure can try! warning: all of these have happy endings because im a crybaby who can’t read unhappy endings. also, p much all of the fics in the completed section were featured on my other lists but this is specifically the ANGSTY ones >:^)

angsty zukka wips

first, most obviously, feels like we only go backwards by @oldpotatoe

-currently at 102k with 19/27 chapters posted; rated teen

-the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. the amnesia fic. you know. i haven’t actually read it yet because, as previously mentioned, i’m a crybaby and am waiting for it to finish up but, from my understanding, this fic will murder you in a dark alleyway with no remorse. if u like zukka angst, you’ve probably already read this, but just in case!

An injury leaves Sokka with amnesia. His last memory is of the failed invasion, of leaving his father behind in enemy territory on the Day of Black Sun. Of hopelessness. Rage. // But then he wakes up, and the war is over. Suddenly, he must come to terms with the fact that years have passed, and that he's somehow the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation. He is also supposedly friends with banished-Prince-turned-Fire-Lord Zuko, of all people. Close friends.

Yeah, nah.

and i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by @goldrushzukka

-currently 38k with 6/8 chapters posted; rated mature

-holy shit. holy SHIT. modern au based on the “my cat likes my fuckbuddy and i am falling in love” trope(?). maybe it’s just because of how the last chapter ended, but oh my god. this one made me cry. made me want to commit violence. when it’s not angsty as hell, it’s pretty funny, but holy shit. ao3 user nebulastucky please.

It’s supposed to be a one night stand. Pick up some guy at a bar, barely remember his name and never learn anything real about him, send him packing in the morning with a thanks for the ride and a cup of coffee to-go. That’s how it’s supposed to go. // But then it’s the best sex Sokka has ever had, and he thinks he’ll hate himself if he never gets to have it again.

Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects by @hollypunkers

-currently 15k with 2/? posted. rated teen.

-this is the sequel to blue (an angsty, zukka rewrite of book 2-- go read it if u havent!)! !! this is a book 3 rewrite. only two chapters in and mrs hollypunkers is really abusing the miscommunication tag, as zukka writers seem to enjoy doing. im excited to see how the world and story develops with the changes to the story! you should be too!! its very good! obviously spoilers for blue lmao

Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.

breakable heaven by @fruitysokka

-currently 71k with 9/11 chapters posted. rated teen

-swt ambassador zuko! soon to be chief sokka! fake dating ur best friend to get out of an arranged marriage! what could go wrong!!! i also haven’t read this one ((see: i’m a crybaby who is being hurt by too many zukka wips already)), but it has been hanging out in my marked for later for months. from what i understand, this fic has: angst.

With his twenty-first birthday looming just around the corner, the Southern Water Tribe Elders have decided that Sokka, next in line to be Chief, needs to get married. Sokka does not want that, but he does need to get them off his back until he can figure his way out of it. What better way to do that than to pretend to date his best friend (and newly minted Ambassador to the Southern Water Tribe) Zuko? // Seriously, this is a foolproof plan. Maybe one of Sokka's best. Absolutely nothing can go wrong.

angsty zukka fics (completed!)

(i’ll put these in wc order)

lighthouse beam by @incorrectzukka

-7k, rated g

-a modern college au!! zuko’s inner-monologue is very angsty in this fic. typical zuko. also per usual, theyre both fucking dorks. they sort themselves out in the end, but not before The Angst. zuko is semi-deaf in this fic and also he has a bit of internalized homophobia.

Sokka’s breathtakingly beautiful and he’s smart and makes other people laugh. Zuko has a half-burnt face and a deaf ear. It’s not rocket science. // Or, Zuko falls in love with the boy in his Philosophy class.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-9k, explicit

-moon spirit/nwt prince!sokka, no war to be found here! admittedly this isnt THAT angsty but like. the angst IS present. zuko is still the prince. a lovely childhood friends (though they hated each other for a minute haha) to lovers story. 

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

put your lips close to mine (as long as they don’t touch) by @celestialceci

-9k, teen

-modern au! zuko and sokka are college roommates. zuko goes to spend the summer with sokka. again,, not really that angsty but-- its there!! the detail and feeling of Home in this story make me happy. zuko is insecure as hell here too. if ur into that. 

Zuko hates his home. He likes college alright, but he likes Sokka even better, his assigned roommate turned best friend. Spending the summer with Sokka will be fun, a welcome change of pace he desperately wants. It probably won't awaken anything in him... right?

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9k, teen

-yes. this one right here officer. it makes my heart ache. also trans sokka! which is cool. but the zuko angst in this one. hurts me. not so much relationship angst as it is zuko learning he deserves happiness angst. i’m sure u know The Type.

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10k, mature

-OUCH. OUCH OUCH OUCH. boys please learn to communicate im begging u. also zuko.. zuko, dude. as the tags of the fic say, hes “really going through it” in this one. YOUCH. post-canon.

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee 

-18k, teen, major character death 

-i lied. THIS is the one, officer. found family.. good mai and zuko and toph friendships.. . ozai escapes prison and tries to overthrow zuko. OBVIOUSLY angst ensues. poor boy. he Does heal in this but it gets worse before it gets better. angst angst angst angst.

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

Anything for You by beersforqueers

-23k, explicit

-istg. this is probably one of my favorite zukka fics. its PAINFUL. modern au where theyre broken up but sokka hasnt told his family yet so zuko goes home with him for kataang wedding. a bit smutty, but the plot oh my god ohgm y fuvk. made me cry the first time i read it. (see: crybaby!me) insert that one picture of the horse with the caption PAIN. 

In which Sokka and Zuko have broken up but Sokka hasn't told his family yet. So when Katara and Aang's wedding weekend rolls around and he doesn't want to break Gran-Gran's heart, he asks Zuko to pretend to be his boyfriend for one last weekend. // Things don't go as planned.

Moving Mountains by @thefangirlingdead

-64k, mature

-so. when i read this the first time it was in one sitting. soulmate au set within canon era / the comics, to an extent. soulmates can hear each others thoughts. i will happily say this is slowburn, jesus christ. champagne without the cham. 

Soulmates are chosen by the spirits and can hear each other’s thoughts. Sokka thinks it’s cheesy and dumb. Zuko thinks it’s poetic justice that he doesn’t have one because he doesn’t deserve it. Cruel irony is finding out that the prince of the Fire Nation (and the person currently hunting you) is your soulmate.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83k, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka living in the northern water tribe. zuko is sent to the northern water tribe as a cultural liaison. iroh is the fire lord but while he is away taking care of lu ten after his injury ozai steps up. i cannot express how many emotions this fic made me feel. background yuetara. i would almost say found family?? but. anyway. plenty of angst to spare here with a healthy dose of enemies to friends to lovers.

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

That Midnight Sky by @zukkababey

-103k, teen

-now now now. tms... modern college au where sokka agrees to tutor zuko in physics because zuko has to maintain straight a’s and physics is just not doing it for him. so. thats cool but THEN azula moves in, randomly, with zuko. to hide the fact that sokka is tutoring zuko, they fake date! what could go wrong!! the mutual pining in here combined with the angst... wonderful, tasty. everyone read it rn. also SLOWBURN 

In Zuko’s strict family, needing a tutor is just about the worst thing you could do. Failing a class, however, is even worse. The only rational solution? Take up Aang on his offer to find him a physics tutor and have Sokka—beautiful, smart, handsome Sokka—tutor him in secret. // When Azula’s arrival threatens to reveal Zuko’s secret, it’s up to Sokka to convince her this definitely isn’t what it looks like. See, he’s actually… Zuko’s… boyfriend? // Hmm. There’s no way this could get complicated, right?

[mooniefics]

in the grand scheme of things [ 3 ]

pairings : zeke jaeger / reader, referenced eren jaeger / reader

word count : 5.5k

tags : unhealthy relationships, relationship discussions, implied cheating, drinking, break ups, mutual infidelity, dubious morality, love triangles

warning : descriptions of alcohol and drug use

summary : you and eren hadn't been doing the best these past few months, and no one that you knew seemed to have any answers for you, or pointers in the right direction. who better to offer you some sound, insightful relationship advice than his older brother. or so you thought.

— originally posted 1 / 28 / 21 on ao3 —

✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:  *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ*:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧·ﾟ: *✧·ﾟ:*

sasha  3:47 pm hey u down to party tonight?? jean told connie he could get us into another one of the azo parties again

you sighed at the sight of the notifications on your phone from its place on the passenger's seat, pensively drumming your fingers on your steering wheel. the most recent party of the most popular fraternity chapter on your campus you'd attended had been the last party you'd subjected yourself to attending—the halloween party where you'd gotten ditched out and subsequently cheated on. though you could admit that it had been fun in the moment, especially when you had caught the struggle between sasha and historia when she saw your roommate snap a picture of her kissing the standoffish sophomore that always helped her with her english lit homework, ymir, rather than the fraternity guy she was meant to be with.

the memory of that night, at least the time before you'd realized your boyfriend and his annoyingly attractive best friend were nowhere to be found, made you consider. classes did start back up next week, and the most eventful thing you'd done over the break was your quaint little family get-together for new year's eve—and your two rendezvous with zeke, meetings that you were slowly beginning to feel more and more skeptical about as time went on—and you were sure that your second semester would drown you in work just as much—if not more—than you'd had in your first semester. so as soon as you came to a stop at a red light, you picked your phone up to shoot her back a message, laughing to yourself when she replied instantly.

               you  3:51 pm party on a wednesday?                            really?

sasha   3:51 pm come onnnn please??? i heard nikos gonna be there! ur rlly gonna make me go all alone??

so that was why she wanted to go, to see the foreign culinary major that somehow always managed to send her back to the dorm with a large plate of food and a blinding smile plastered on her face for at least the next hour. you were honestly surprised that they hadn't gotten together yet, considering how many common interests they'd shared.

a pleasant thought suddenly popped into your head, the thought that she was probably asking you because mikasa had already declined, meaning that she wouldn't be in attendance. armin was out in turkey with eren, ensuring his absence. that fact made you feel a bit less anxious about accepting sasha's invitation. you could catch up with the friends you'd been unable to see while you were off-campus—or too swamped with work to be able to reach out to—let loose one last time before you were trapped back in the monotonous cycle of working, sleeping, crying, and eating for the next couple months until spring break. your mind had been made up.

                          you  3:52 pm    fine. i'll go as moral support. but no promises u won't have  to babysit after you've had ur                          fun with nikolo  this break has been rough for                                       me lol

sasha  3:53 pm oh god my i loveyou so much already picking out our outfits

you chuckled to yourself, slipping your phone into the cupholder as the brake lights of the car in front of you flashed off and you eased your foot onto the gas. you made it back to the dorm relatively quickly, sasha more than elated to see you even though you didn't have any food to bring back for her. and just as her text message had read, she'd already laid out one of your nicer dresses and a set of heels that didn't absolutely kill your feet by the end of the night by your bed, digging through the closet with a pile of discarded clothes growing on the floor.

"thanks sash," you giggled, "but don't you think it's a little to be getting ready? what time's the party?"

"connie told me seven-thirty, but jean said for us to come an hour later so we aren't the only ones there." she spoke over her shoulder, huffing as she tossed another piece of clothing aside, "but i wanna look good! i'm gonna hop in the shower as soon as i find the right thing to wear."

holding out your dress before you, you frowned. it was simple, black and made of a sheer, clingy material with lace accents decorating the low neckline, thin straps that bared the entirety of your shoulders and a modest amount of cleavage. it was one of your favorites, but the half-healed bruises scattered across the skin that would be exposed by it wasn't ideal.

"oh, don't forget to take a cheap coat that you don't mind forgetting. it's kinda chilly out, and i always end up losing track of mine during the night."

you let out a breath of relief, remembering that covering up a bit more would be weather appropriate. "yeah, i'll wear a long-sleeved undershirt and something light on top." perfect.

you waited until sasha had gathered her toiletries and scurried off to the nearest bathroom to change clothes, feeling your face heat up at the thought of zeke, the initial deep pigmentation having faded out over the last two days but still a very visible shade of faint red. you were fully dressed upon your roommate's return, earning an excited slew of compliments from her as she wrapped up her hair in a towel and settled down beside you to get started on her makeup.

you were actually grateful for how early she'd insisted on getting ready considering how long she'd agonized over her eyeliner, or how many times she'd applied and removed her lashes, complaining that "something was off" or "it just didn't look right". your suggested time of arrival came in no time at all, and by then sasha was more than eager to start rushing you despite the pace she'd been moving at earlier.

"hurry!! if niko brings food, i don't wanna get there by the time it's all gone!" she whined, jiggling the doorknob to your room impatiently, "for the thanksgiving party, he brought a charcuterie board with all these nice cheeses on it and it was so good, he looked so happy watching me eat it, it was so cute!"

you chuckled softly at her enthusiasm, shoving the last of your things into your clutch, zipping up your phone in the small inner pocket to insure that you didn't drop it and forget on the floor of someone's house this time. "i'm sure that even if we got there late, he'd set aside plenty of food for you."

the walk to the fraternity's designated house was made much shorter by sasha's insistence, practically dragging you along by the wrist the whole way at a near jog. you couldn't deny that you were feeling a bit nervous about the whole ordeal, knowing that you would have sasha, connie, and jean at the very least, but unaware as to what you would really do besides mill around. at the halloween party, you'd been able to play the variety of drinking games that had been set out for the guests with eren and his friends, but now you weren't entirely sure who to stick to for the majority of the night.

you didn't want to bother jean or connie after they'd gotten secured you an invite, and you were sure that sasha was expecting to be able to spend some time alone with the guy she'd came to see in the first place, meaning you'd have to spend a majority of the night alone, or the unfavorable option of mingling with unfamiliar people. but you realized that was a pill you'd have to swallow as you approached the steps of the house, nearly tripping up over your feet from the speed that sasha was hauling you along at, watching her furiously knock at the door.

there were people wandering about in the yard, some on their phones, most likely waiting for their own friends to arrive, and a smoky stench of something that definitely wasn't just tobacco wafting from the group of men camped out on the porch murmuring amongst each other. you could hear the volume of the music inside the house, almost able to feel it thrumming across the floor if you focused enough.

"thomas!" she exclaimed at the sight of a younger-looking blonde boy when the door opened, whose existence you honestly had no idea about until just now, grinning so broadly it made your own cheeks hurt for her, "jean invited us!"

"oh, come right in." he beamed right back, calling loudly over his shoulder, "yo, jean, your friends are here!"

the inside of the house looked just as you expected, already crowded to max capacity, jean having to maneuver past the throng of people gathered near the front to approach the two of you. "damn, i feel like i haven't seen you in forever." he did his best to speak over the music, wrapping you up in a friendly squeeze, "glad to see you could finally make it." he turned to sasha. "niko's already in the kitchen, by the way. asked when you were coming just a few minutes ago."

sasha's face lit up with glee, turning to you, silently asking for permission to go off on her own as if you could ever deny her and her overly-eager expression. "go get 'em, tiger." you smiled, giving her a few pats on her shoulder to send her off on her way, watching her disappear into the crowd in record time.

but before apprehension of her absence could set in, you felt jean's arm sling around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. "c'mon, you didn't think i was gonna ditch out and let you hang alone all night?" you giggled, turning your head up to look at him properly for the first time.

you'd first met jean in your statistics class, an unfortunate requirement for your major of choice, and initially bonded over your mutual connection through sasha. they'd been good friends in high school, and you'd just moved into a room for at least the next year with her, so you figured it'd do you well to have someone who could get you in her good graces in the event that you two didn't get along. but, thankfully, you two were just fine on your own, and sasha and jean became your first friends outside of the small group you and eren shared.

the only real conflict of interest between the two of you seemed to be your aforementioned boyfriend, and you couldn't really be upset at him for that. eren could be difficult to get along with even at the best of times, he wasn't a terrible person—at least before he'd cheated—but he wasn't exactly the most friendly either.

"is this piercing new?" you asked, reaching up to brush your thumb over the small earring hugging the shell of jean's ear.

"yeah, got it for new year's. pretty hot, right?" you snorted, earning a grin from him, "by the way, if you need to use the bathroom just tell me, the one on the main floor is fucking filthy. and also probably has no toilet paper."

"will do." you could feel the tension ebbing away in his company, at least when you ignored the annoyed glances other girls were sending your way when they noticed his arm around you, "so, what's on the menu for tonight?"

"well, we probably have every kind of alcohol known to man," he said, leaning down to speak into your ear as he began to guide you through the crowded first floor, "beer kegs are out back, junk food and all the inexpensive shit is in the kitchen." he stopped at the opening to a hallway, smile evident in his voice. "but i'm feeling pretty generous tonight, so if you want some of the good stuff we have stashed, just say the word."

"wow, such a gentleman. do you say that to every girl that comes in?" you playfully replied, thankfully far enough away from the music now that you didn't have to talk at nearly a shout.

"only the ones i like." he added a terribly over-exaggerated wink, earning another small laugh from you, "so, what'll it be? vodka, tequila, or triple sec?"

you blinked up at him. "that's it? when you said 'good stuff', i imagined a little more variety."

"beggars can't be choosers, sweetheart. and anyways we're a frat, not a restaurant, so either take your pick or go enjoy some cheap wine while you watch nikolo and sasha drool over each other."

you rolled your eyes, feigning anger in the face of his attitude, huffing out your answer. "surprise me then, frat boy."

"good answer." he said with a grin, "wait here."

he disappeared down the hall, leaving you to stare in silence at the wall before you and listen to the barely muffled sounds of the party going on just a few meters away. you opened up your clutch to fish out your phone, opening it to find your text conversation still open, catching a glimpse of connie's name. you felt a little guilty that you'd almost forgotten about his expected presence, seeing as he had messaged you and you hadn't heard anything from sasha or jean yet. you decided to shoot him a quick text letting him know that you and sasha had arrived, not surprised when he didn't respond as quickly as he usually did, knowing that he was already wrapped up in getting high out of his mind somewhere here or doing so elsewhere.

you opted to kill time tapping through your feed, making it a point to quickly scroll past any posts with armin's handle attached to them. the thought of eren having fun halfway across the world was both pleasant and disheartening at the same time. you felt stupid for still clinging on to the second thoughts about ending things the second he got back. sure, all the dots connected suspiciously well to create a picture that led to the clear conclusion of cheating, but eren wasn't good at hiding things. you remembered the time in your junior year when he'd barely been able to keep your surprise party that your friends had organized you a secret before one of them slipped up about it and exonerated him from blame, and you couldn't help but ask yourself if he was really capable of hiding such a terrible deed when he couldn't even conceal the harmless types of secrets from you.

the more confrontational part of you said that that was ages ago, that both you and him had changed so much since your time in high school, and maybe one of those changes was what made him put so much distance between the two of you these last months rather than hang around you and risk airing out his dirty laundry. you knew you should be angry with him, you would be more than right to be angry with him, but you force yourself to stop clinging to the simpler times, the days when he'd look at you like you'd put the stars in the sky and said all he ever wanted to do was be around you. you couldn't believe how much had changed in so little time.

"ta-da!" jean's voice interrupted your self-pity, a tall plastic cup suddenly occupying your vision, "long island iced tea for the lady. with a straw."

"christ, jean, are you trying to kill me?" you guffawed, taking the cup from him anyways, "my first real party in months and this is what you start me off with?"

"at least give it a try! after i took all that time to make it for you.." he furrowed his brows at you, only relaxing after you took a tentative sip. it was surprisingly not as strong as you thought it would be, a little on the sweeter side, but it served as a good distraction for the burn of five different alcohols sliding down your throat. "pretty good, isn't it?"

"meh. five out of ten." you snarked, giggling around the straw between your lips.

"typical," he lamented, clutching his hands over his heart, "all you and sasha ever do is use me."

"don't lie to yourself, jean. you love us."

you didn't know if it was the dim lighting casting a shadow over his face, but you could swear that you saw his cheeks flush at your assertion. "anyways.. speaking of love, you still dating that asshole? eric?"

"eren." you corrected, laughing at the error, "and, well, it's complicated."

"complicated? then i'm assuming he fucked up big time, considering he's not even here with you this time around."

you took a long sip of your drink, fiddling with the bendy part of your straw, the thought of his infidelity weighing heavily on your heart. "well he'd probably be here if he wasn't out of town, he's been planning to take his trip for a while now.."

jean shot you a displeased look. "i seriously don't know how you put up with that guy, you're selling yourself short honestly. planning on breaking up with him anytime soon?"

you cast your gaze to the floor, thankful that the warmth of the alcohol in your stomach was helping to ease the cool hollowness settling deep into your chest. "oh hush. you don't even know the whole story, jean."

"well i know enough. if you're in the market for any new guys, i'll scout out someone nice for you." you scoffed at his offer, but didn't outright deny it either, unable to help smiling along with him when he smirked and nodded over to the party in the other room, "now, come play me in beer pong, then you'll really have something to complain about."

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

zeke could confidently say that his night had been utterly unremarkable.

another quiet day spent working at the library, where he'd actually glanced at the door more times than he was willing to admit with the hope that it would be you walking in. he'd actually been quite tempted to message you, to ask what you were doing, if you had anywhere between two and three so that maybe he could see you, but he'd ultimately decided against it. he couldn't quite figure out the exact cause of his newly-found infatuation with you, but the rationality of it didn't concern him as much as it probably should've, he was simply pleased to relive the very recent memories of your encounters together and anticipate your next meeting—at least until his younger brother returned.

eren had attempted to goad a reaction out of him with an assortment of unsavory texts calling him just about every name in the book, a constant stream of questions asking why he did it, or what he'd done to deserve such a thing, and even a few desperate pleas begging him to say that it wasn't really you. of course, he'd ignored all of them, and he wondered if eren was trying to contact you as well, knowing that you wouldn't be able to see the messages even if that was the case, though still curious nonetheless.

but for the moment, he was lounging at his usual downtown bar, seated in a booth beside reiner and across from porco at their rescheduled night out, since both marcel and porco were unable to make it yesterday, the latter sulking after his noisy attempt to flag down the waitress ended in failure.

"is marcel actually gonna make it tonight?" reiner asked, plucking a stick of celery from the appetizer platter in the middle of the table.

"no clue." porco replied, sipping his mojito, "said he got caught up at work again, so either the let down text is gonna come any minute now, or he's gonna show up for an hour and then disappear."

zeke chuckled. "post-marriage life sure is tough, i guess."

"you can say that again. he's always calling me, freaking about the idea of kids and his mortgage and stuff that i didn't even think about until he complained about it, scary shit."

"you say that like you're not two years away from being his age."

porco began what was sure to be one of his smart-ass replies, but the waitress had finally approached their booth, hiding her annoyance with his friend with a forced smile as she took the orders for their entrées. zeke pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans when he felt it buzz, feeling the slightest hint of disappointment by the fact that it wasn't you.

"who is it? your new girlfriend?" reiner grumbled, smirking when porco shot up in his seat.

"girlfriend?!" he exclaimed far too loudly.

"yup. zeke didn't tell you he's dating a high-schooler?"

so much for "your business", zeke thought to himself. "oh, fuck off. she's in college." he frowned at his roommate, only met with another tired expression of disappointment.

"just barely." reiner turned back to the man across the table, "it's one of his brother's ex-girlfriends too."

porco stared at him incredulously, eyes wide and judgmental, falling back against the cushion of the seat with a low whistle. "shit zeke.. that's kinda fucked up, don't you think?" he seemed uncomfortable by the unexpected revelation, "you're almost thirty and you're screwing around with someone who's probably not even twenty? is this an afraid-of-getting-old thing? mid-life crisis??"

"she's an adult, she can make her own choices." zeke didn't appreciate the sudden scrutiny, finishing off his old fashioned in the hopes that the bourbon would wash away the self-conscious feeling settling unpleasantly in his gut, "not my fault that her choice happens to be wanting to be around me rather than the guys her age."

"what ever happened to you and pieck? she's hot—"

"and actually over the legal drinking age."

both porco and zeke pointedly ignored reiner's interaction as the former continued. "—i thought it was working out between you two.. what happened?"

zeke shrugged. "just wasn't the right fit for me. but you liked her, didn't you? before we had our thing." he looked up at his friend, forcing a casual grin, "maybe you could give that shot now."

he felt a bit more at ease seeing porco's ears and cheeks flush red, now fiddling with the lime garnish on the rim of his glass. "we still talk here and there.. i don't really know much about what she's up to these days."

before he could answer with more words of encouragement that detracted from the previous, morally-incriminating topic, his phone began to vibrate, and he felt his heart leap into his throat at the sight of your name on the screen. "sorry, gotta take this."

he tugged on his jacket and slid out of the booth, ignoring reiner's chastising glance and porco's bewildered look, passing the waitress who was now carrying a platter with their food and refills on his way out. the cool night breeze was refreshing in comparison to the awkward, almost cramped atmosphere that had developed over their discussion, his breath coming is foggy puffs in the chilled, january air as he pressed the answer button. immediately upon raising the phone to his ear, he was met with a blurred assortment of background noise, able to discern the muffled sound of music and the sound of footsteps outside of whatever room you were in.

"hello?"

"oh, zeke, you answered!!" he could hear in your voice that you were clearly intoxicated, much more than you had been when you were at his house, words stringing together and ending syllables unnecessarily drawn out.

he felt uncharacteristically worried at the realization that you were at a party, one that sounded quite large and crowded, most likely crawling with unsavory individuals that he knew prowled around those sorts of events when he himself was in college. "are you alright? where are you right now? do you need me to pick you up?"

zeke was already digging around in his coat pocket to check if he had his keys, more than prepared to take off without his meal or saying goodbye to his friends inside. "'m at a party on campus, 's okay. in the bathroom. just thinking."

zeke didn't feel eased at all at the sound of loud knocking coming from somewhere, hearing you becoming distant for a moment as you presumably pulled the phone away from your ear to call out that the bathroom was occupied. there was shuffling on the other line, then silence for a short moment. "can i ask you something?"

zeke frowned. the idea of not being able to know who was monitoring you in this state wasn't sitting well with him. "go ahead."

"but don't call me stupid, ok? i already know it's a stupid question, but i still wanna ask it."

"there's no such thing as stupid questions." he assured you, ignoring the buzz of a text notification, most likely porco or reiner telling him to come back in before the burger he ordered got cold.

"do i really have to break up with eren?"

zeke felt something odd flicker in his chest, that unfamiliar feeling he'd felt when he caught you staring at you and his brother's one-sided chat logs, but yet the affirmative answer he thought he would be able to give with no problem sat on the tip of his tongue, undelivered. he thought back to that face reiner had made when he told him who you were, and porco's hesitant words trying to rationalize his actions but ultimately failing to do so.

zeke didn't understand why he felt so conflicted all of a sudden. this was meant to be a simple ordeal, one where he got what he needed to teach eren a lesson and moved on with his life. but now here he was, concerned about your whereabouts, focusing hard enough on your muddled words that he managed to catch the wobble in your voice that betrayed your own state of emotional unrest. he realized a moment too late that he hadn't said anything, hearing a small sniffle on your end before we began speaking.

"god, i can't believe i said that out loud, you must really think i'm dumb r'now, but.. i just can't let go of what we had." he was sure that you were crying now. "i keep thinking about what you said, an' you're right. he's been an ass to me, he practically ignored me for, like, three months, probably fuckin' cheated on me with his hot best friend, so i can't understand why i just wanna keep trying to fix things... and its so confusing 'cause everyone just keeps telling me to enjoy myself an' have fun, but i have no idea what i even want anymore, and i don't even know what we are right now and i can't fuckin' believe i cheated on my boyfriend with his fuckin' older brother and i don't know what i'd ever do if he found out."

by the end of it, you were letting out small, hiccuped sobs, breath fast and uneven just as it had been the night he'd invited you over. he honestly didn't know what to say, listening to you cry, staring at the steam of his breath as it dissipated out into the night. you were a good person, someone who was undeserving of such treatment from either him or eren, but it was simply an unfortunate coincidence that you had been caught in the fray.

he took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts, preparing to deliver an affirmation similar to the one he'd given you a few days ago when you first laid all your relationship troubles out on the table, but there was a rapid, more insistent knocking at the bathroom door on your end. he could hear a female voice calling out your name, and the jiggling of the door knob.

"hold on," you paused, sniffling, "it's my roommate."

you steadied yourself enough to say that, tossing the phone somewhere before he heard the sound of the door unlocking. "there you are!! are you seriously wasted already? it's only, like, eleven?! why are you crying???" your roommate sounded tipsy, but nowhere near as intoxicated as you currently were, which eased zeke's initial worry, "jean! can you c'mere for a sec! wait, were you calling someone?"

there was a brief pause, and zeke could practically see your tiny nod and teary eyes in his head, then heels clicking over tile and the sound of the phone being lifted, followed by a hurried, "hey, this is her roommate! she's fine, gotta go!"

then silence, just him and the faint noise coming from inside the bar behind him. he didn't know what to think. from the sounds of it, it seemed like your friends were taking care of you for the time being, friends who names he vaguely remembered you speaking of when you'd been detailing your time at the halloween party—people that were unfamiliar to him, people he wasn't sure that he could trust. and a small part of him, a tiny voice at the back of his head, scoffed at his flimsy mask of worry that barely hid the true emotion, his possessive nature, driving his desire to go pick you up and bring you back to the apartment to take care of so you'd have to be there with him another morning with your thankful gazes and blunt, half-awake words.

he knew he was in no place to begin laying judgement at these unknown people in your life considering what he'd done, but it was an innate sort of feeling, the thought that always clouded his mind when he laid eyes on people that were younger than him, that he knew more than them, that somehow he would always be above them in an invisible hierarchy. that same feeling that he felt when he found himself looking down at you.

"zeke?" a warm, friendly voice broke him out of his thoughts, his eyes turning up from the ground to find a tired-looking marcel standing before him, "what are you doing out here by yourself?"

"smoke break." the lie slipped between his lips before he even thought of the fact that there was no cigarette between his fingers, no scent of smoke in the air or clinging to his clothes, "glad you could make it, everyone's inside. pretty sure porco already ordered you something."

but instead of immediately heading inside for zeke to come after him, marcel stood for a moment, lips drawing back and eyebrows knitting into a concerned expression. "is everything okay?"

zeke thought for a moment, giving a non-committal shrug in response.

"still having family troubles?"

despite having been quite fixated on his negative feelings revolving his own younger brother for the last few days, zeke had almost pushed out a majority of the sordid details of the entire situation out of his head, which now seemed to all flood back with such a short, simple question.

"you could say that." zeke scratched the back of his neck, now wishing he'd actually had a cigarette to take his mind off of all these turbulent thoughts, "all the arguing and shit subsided already, but..."

"anything from your dad?" marcel's voice was almost tentative asking that, frowning when zeke said nothing, "sorry.. didn't mean to be insensitive about it."

"it's not insensitive. just," he swallowed, tucking his phone back into his pocket and reaching out to push open the bar door, a silent, less embarrassing way to signal that he no longer wanted to talk about it anymore, "just kind of fresh. that's all."

they both stood in silence for a moment, marcel's eyes wandering his face, features expressing a clear concern, but thankfully, he didn't push the issue any further, simply following him inside like zeke wished he would've done minutes earlier to save him the trouble, proceeding to the booth housing their friends. the conversation didn't wander back to the topic of him and his morally dubious relations nor his current familial situation, much to his relief, making it much easier for him to just allow the conversation to flow around him, finding himself not having much of an appetite or desire to speak much with so much on his mind.

for a moment, zeke wondered to himself if this was a punishment from the universe, feeling so downtrodden on what was usually one of his more enjoyable nights in the week. not to say that they were always amazing to be around, but spending time with porco, reiner, marcel, and sometimes bertholdt made up most of the meaningful social interactions he had, and to have lost out on it today of all days just seemed like some odd form of karmic justice as a result of him behaving so selfishly.

but he held out for the rest of the evening anyways, going through more drinks that he probably should've, finding easier to tune in to porco and reiner's usual bickering, marcel's attempts to quell them, the ambient sound of bustling waiters and clinking glasses and plates to bury down any thought of you or his family or what was to come at the end of the week, the consequences with much more magnitude in his life than an just an unpleasant night out.

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previous chapter⥽

[ohpretty-baby]

heyyy 💗 i saw your drabble game and i wanted to ask please for namjoon + college!au + angst with fluffy ending + 1, 17, 18 and 42! sorry if it's too much... 👉🏽👈🏽 and thank yoouu 💕❤

college!joon + angst/fluff: 1. ”i want to marry you” + 17. “who gave you that black eye?” + 18. “people are staring…" + 42. “why else would i have done this? just out of my free will?”

thank u for the request !! writing's a little rusty so this is all over the place ;-;

drabble requests closed !

913 words

a sharp gasp cuts through your lips, all too loud and all too noticeable. shakily, your hand reaches out to gently touch namjoon’s face. his skin his burning and with the freezing touch of your fingers, he winces.

the walls of your room are too thin, and you almost feel like slapping him for visiting you during your roommate’s party, but you stop yourself.

“namjoon…” you murmur, quiet enough for only him to hear, “who gave you that black eye?”

namjoon huffs in frustration, his chest heaving up and down. before you can take your hand away, he grabs your wrist, forcing you in place. forcing you to keep your hand on his skin.

“was it yoongi who told you that you’d never be enough for me? that i’d rather be dead than to be seen with you?” pools of sorrow swirl in namjoon’s eyes, “is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

you look downwards, unable to confront the fury boiling in namjoon’s gaze. you had been constantly closing yourself off from namjoon, who had desperately tried to break down those walls every time he saw you. it was a tragic game of cat and mouse, where you had no intention of being caught, while namjoon had every intention of having you in his possession.

it seemed that you had finally been trapped, unable to escape from the intensity of his desire to be with you. despite the irresistibility of it all, something in you still hesitated out of fear.

“i don’t deserve you namjoon,” you respond, “you and i know that. you, of all people know that you’re better off-”

“stop it,” he interjects, his voice gravelly,  “stop saying all of that. i only want you.”

“don’t you see the way that i treat you?” you pull your hand away from him, your voice raisin, “i shut you out, i ignore you, i never accept anything you give me. why do you still insist on doing all this?”

the crowd outside has disappeared from you. you even forget that in the surprise of namjoon barging into your room this evening, you had completely disregarded the fact that your room door was open.

“do you think i want to be like this?” namjoon shouts back, more agonized by the emptiness of your touch leaving his skin than your caustic words, “shit, y/n, do you even know how much i need you?”

“namjoon-” “do you know how hard it is for me to not think of you? y/n, you’ve taken everything from me. every waking moment of my life is consumed by you. do you not see that? do you not see, that in everything i do, my heart only knows how to beat for you?” he shakes his head, tears freely flowing down his face, “why else would i have done all of this? why else would i continue to work so hard for you? out of my own free will?”

namjoon grabs your hands, forcing you to look up at him. your lips part in shock as you examine the lack of anger in his eyes, how they’re filled with pain. the passion present in his gaze overwhelms you, causing you to shrink as you listen to him. the purple tint on his bruised skin has quieted, as if it was intimidated by namjoon’s passion as well.

“y/n,” he continues, his voice cracking. namjoon’s tears begin to evaporate on his skin, creating a light, flat gloss over his cheeks, “i don’t care how long it takes for you to realize that i really do just want you. i’ll wait for as long as i need to. just please, stop acting like this.”

wanting an escape, you realize that the whole apartment has heard your arguing, some of the guests trying to slyly peek through the door.

“namjoon,” you mumble, “people are staring…” “i don’t give a fuck,” he responds curtly, and despite his brash behavior, he grabs your skin with the utmost gentleness. namjoon politely prods you to look up at him, “y/n, i know you’re afraid to disappoint me. i can see it in your eyes, i can see how hurt you are whenever you reject me.” you gulp, embarrassed at how well he had read you.

still having some sense, namjoon quickly walks over to shut the door before he begins speaking again.

“i know it’s hard, but i’m asking that you at least let me in. it can be as slow as you want to. fuck, i’d wait a century for you,” the man chuckles, “just at least let me try to win your heart when you’re ready.”

it’s only until you feel his thumb wiping away your own tears that you realize you’ve been crying too. namjoon pulls you in, his warm embrace bringing a rest to the uneasy tides of your heart. broken sobs escape you, and namjoon silently holds you, his heartbeat soothing your soul.

“do you really like me like that?” you whisper against his chest.

“like you? y/n, i’m in love with you,” namjoon breathes out, “shit, y/n, i want to marry you.” “marriage is terrifying, though,” you laugh, “and a huge commitment.”

“do you see me right now?” he looks down to you, and despite having a painful black eye, he smiles, his cheeks puffing upward, “if i can take this big of a hit from my own friend, i think i can handle something like that.”

[lilacsandwhiskey]

Simp prompts "it's okay, I promise, I'll be here when you wake up" for Drake x Riley. I don't care who says it to who...

Leaving 18+

Pairing: Drake Walker x Riley Brooks

A/U where Riley was previously in Drake’s life while he was in college, until the day Leo showed up at his door and whisked the man away. Riley never even got a goodbye. This takes place after running into each other in NYC that night when she’s his waitress.

Warnings: smutttty, angst, trash writing, language, did not proofread:)

prompt from simp softness prompts from @soulmemes

Riley was mad at herself. Furious actually.

When Drake walked into the restaurant she worked at, the thought crossed her mind to walk up and slap him across the face. Or kiss him. Or cry. Or all of the above.

But instead, she walked up, cool, calm, and collected. Drake found that more terrifying than anything. The four men sat at the table, Drake’s eyes practically bugging out of his head, while the other three took part in a conversation among themselves - something about one of them almost died at the top of the Empire State Building or something like that.

The table was already frustrating from seeing Drake, but the remarks from the one with the slicked back hair and fancy suit made it almost unbearable. Drake finally spoke up, ordering for the table before skittishly saying Riley’s name in question.

“Yes, hi Drake. I’ll be back with your drinks.” Riley attempted to look unbothered but as soon as she turned on her heel away from the table she wanted to throw up.

“Stop it!” Riley cried out for the sixth time while Drake pinched the sides of her hips, making her laugh uncontrollably. “Fine, fine.” He pulled Riley into him, lifting up one of her hands with his own and staring at it.

Riley finally caught her breath. “What ya thinking about in that pretty little head, Drake Walker?” Drake played aimlessly with her fingers, looking at her through his dark eyelashes. “Just a future with you, Brooks.”

It was only weeks later that the brown-headed Cordonian boy left without a trace, without so much as a word or call. Soon, Riley’s number couldn’t make it through the dial, and she was left to heal a broken heart on her own. She hated the idea of Drake. The way he held her so close the night before he was gone.

She’d buried her head inside his chest, asking for an answer for what they were going to do after graduation. Graduation was still over a year away but Riley couldn’t help but to think about what was going to happen when they walked across the stage.

After several words of affirmation, Drake held Riley close, kissing her forehead. “It’s okay, I promise I’ll be here when you wake up.”

And then he wasn’t. When Riley woke up, she recognized that the bed was colder than usual, she was free to move around on the small twin xl bed. She figured Drake had left to get something from his room, as this wasn’t like him at all. When an hour had passed by with no trace, no call or text back, she resulted to contacting his roommate.

Riley recalled the sobs that fell from her lips when his roommate was frantic on the phone, mentioning that there was not a single thing left behind except for the clothes he’d left in Riley’s room. They searched high and low for a letter, a note, something, but came up with nothing.

Now here she was, facing the boy turned man that had broken her heart into tiny little pieces. Riley went to the back of the restaurant to control her breathing before facing her past again.

After their order had been delivered, Riley took it upon herself to begin closing up, starting with wiping down the bar and tables. All of this in attempt to occupy her mind. That changed when the blonde who you’d only assume was his friend, Liam, that’d you’d seen in pictures on Drake’s desk, walks up ready to pay for the meal for everyone. Thankful that everyone was told to wait outside, Riley engaged in the casual conversation with Liam.

“So you’re the infamous Riley?” “So, that’s what they call me in your parts.” Riley responded, swiping the credit card through the machine. Liam could only grin, but there was no doubt that he could see why his friend fell so hard for her. Of course he’d gotten to know her over phone calls and video chats when she was in Drake’s room, but seeing her in person, watching the way she was able to pull herself together so quickly in what must have been a hard moment, Liam knew why Drake never stopped talking about her.

Drake hadn’t said her name in well over a year, but Liam had caught his friend stalking her social media just months ago. “Look, I’m sure you have a thousand assumptions about the man, but I promise he didn’t leave you. He had to leave behind a life he created over something he had no control of.” Riley scoffed, Liam noticed she was barely taking in the excuse. “If you love someone, you don’t leave without a trace. It doesn’t matter anyway, that was college and many years ago. Not like it means anything now.”

After leaving a rather large tip, Liam thanked Riley for her patience and hospitality before heading out the door. Liam noticed that Drake had separated himself from the group, wandering around and staring up at the sky as if he was searching for something. “Ready to go?”

——————

Riley felt her phone buzz in her pocket for the eighteenth time, she was sure. When she clocked out, she finally slid her phone out of her pocket, revealing several text messages from Cassie. Riley knew a brisk call would be better than even attempting to read through all of the messages.

“Cassie, what gave you the idea that texting me a thousand times was okay?” “Look, you have to come out with me tonight. Sarah bailed and you know I don’t want to go clubbing alone.”

Riley mumbled goodbyes to the cooks who were closing up, placing the phone between her shoulder and ear. “Cassie…” “Please, I’m begging.” After the night she had, she thought it could be a good idea to get her mind off of things, aimlessly flirt with some guys and get some free drinks. “Meet me at my apartment in ten so I can get ready.”

——————

The driver followed his directions that Maxwell had given to the club. Drake sat with his head at the window, staring at the lights, wishing he could just go back to the penthouse and fall asleep for the night.

“Drake..” Liam pulled the man from his thoughts as he looked over to his friend. “Why didn’t you say something?” “It was clear she didn’t want to see me. And, who knew we’d run into her anyway? That was the last thing I’d expect in this city.” Drake replied, sitting further back in his seat.

“Did you expect her to welcome you with a hug and kiss? Dude, she got her heartbroken. And I feel just as guilty because I know why you came back but she deserves something.” “Can we just drop it?” Liam shrugged his shoulder with a slight scoff, knowing this was how hard-headed his best friend was.

As they walked into the club Maxwell had sought out, Drake felt the dread enter deeply into his body. Individuals dancing on others, music blasting through the speakers, nothing but the smell of too much perfume, alcohol, and sweat. Drake pushed pass his friends to sought out the bar, where he’d occupy for the rest of the night.

Drake reached the bar, taking an empty seat as the bartender diverted his attention to him as he cleaned a glass. “Whiskey, please.” Drake placed his elbows on the counter just as he heard a familiar voice coming up behind him.

“You tricked me, Cass.” “I knew you wouldn’t come if you didn’t feel bad for me. Sarah may have changed her mind, okay.” Drake turned his head the other way, in hopes she didn’t notice him. He couldn’t help but side-eye her though, taking in the tiny emerald dress that was hugging her body - instead of the baggy t-shirt and shorts she was wearing prior. Her hair was pulled out of the loose bun and was now laying down her back in loose waves.

“Whiskey, please.” She sighed. Drake smirked, knowing he was the one who got her hooked on a simple glass of whiskey. Then he heard a groan, knowing she’d looked and noticed him. Drake cleared his throat. “You following me, Drake?” A very Riley thing to ask.

“I wish I could say so, but my friends dragged me here.” “Thought so, you always said this wasn’t your scene.” Riley air quoted as she talked, nursing the whiskey that had been placed in front of her. She never made eye contact though. “You know, I never thought I’d see you again, and now that I do, I don’t even know what to say. Maybe… Fuck you?” Drake almost let out a laugh, nodding his head. “Guess I deserve that.” “Yeah, no guessing. Flat out.”

Drake admired her for keeping herself calm and collected. Drake himself was about to pass out from his nerves of being so close to the one girl he’d loved the most. “It’s been five years. You’ve changed a lot.” “That’s what happens to people, typically.” Riley remarked. “Can we talk?” Drake blurted out. Riley still didn’t make eye contact with him. “Please, I just.. I need to be honest with you.” “For once in his life, Drake Walker wants to explain himself… wants to be honest. What does me the honors?” “Brooks.” “Fine, lay it out.” She patted the table. “Not here.”

Riley’s eyes finally met his face. “You think I want to go somewhere with you?” “You once trust me, didn’t you?” “Yeah, once.” “Trust me again.” “It doesn’t work like that, Drake.” Drake nodded his head. “I get that but please, just not here.” His eyes wandered the room. “Fine.” Riley shoved herself from the table, Drake scrambling to leave some bills on the counter before attempting to catch up with her. She had dragged who looked to be her friends to the side who were eying her with devious smiles, in which she returned with a slight shove.

Drake shot a quick text to his friends that he’d meet back up with them later. When Riley was out hailing a taxi, she still had yet to say a word to him from leaving the table. The ride to whatever location made Drake’s heart wrench. When they pulled up to a brick building, Riley handed the man cash and got out quickly, Drake on her heels.

Shockingly, Riley had managed to feel comfortable enough to bring Drake to her haven, her home, in the midst of New York. “Welcome to my humble abode.” She stood in her studio apartment, leaning up against the counter as she watched Drake observe the room. “Much different than your dorm decor.” “Yeah, not so much into patterns anymore.” Riley replied.

The silence between them thickened. “Okay, Drake, I didn’t invite you to my place so you could stalk around trying to take in the bits of me you missed out on. You said you’d explain yourself. And I’m tired of waiting.” Drake found himself speechless. “See, you don’t even care to say anything. After all these years, after the heartbreak and the hurt you put me through, you can’t say anything. Do you know what you leaving did to me? Do you know how much it hurt to plan a future with someone then wake up to no trace? Hell, I get we were kids but come on, that doesn’t mean it didn’t affect me.” “Riley…” “No, I gave you the chance to talk. I’m taking my opportunity. Do you know how low you have to be to drop the girl who’d do anything for you? I was willing to wait for you. I was so patient with you, for you to come around to your senses that we belonged together. I was there. Do you-“ “Dammit, Brooks.”

Drake moved swiftly, crashing his own lips on Riley’s in efforts to shut her up - and it worked. Drake rested his hand on her cheek, the other on her back pulling her into him, suddenly reminiscing on the times that those lips had been all over him before. Riley slowly lifted her arms up to tug the back of his head, before finally coming to her own senses and pushing him away. “What the hell, Drake?!”

“You wouldn’t let me talk and I need to get this out. For five years, I’ve wondered about you. I’ve thought nonstop about you and what we couldve been. I regretted so much, recognizing that we could’ve been fucking married by now. Isn’t that crazy? Yeah, we were two college kids who couldn’t get enough of each other but I met you and I knew you were special. You wanna know why I left? Because my best friend needed me. I couldn’t tell you what was going on because it’s confidential what goes on in his life. I couldn’t bring you home to meet my family because I didn’t have a home - I lived in a palace with my best friend because my mom couldn’t take care of me and my sister. That’s the truth. My best friend needed me and just like I always do, I went back. I ran. And I missed out on the greatest thing in life but I couldn’t tell you. I was sworn to secrecy.”

Riley stared, lips slightly opened, tears brimming her eyes. “Brooks, I’ve thought about you every single day. Liam told me how stupid I was to leave you, I knew how stupid I was, but I needed to be back. I needed to be in Cordonia. But that didn’t change the way I felt. I thought about you… every damn day.” Riley swallowed hard before stepping just a little closer.

“I’m not saying this will fix everything or hell, I don’t know if you ever want to see me again, but just know I never wanted to leave you. My intentions were to start my own life with you. It’s been five years but that hasn’t stopped me.” Drake took his own step closer to the love of his life, closing the gap between them. “Show me.” Riley said above a whisper. “Hm.” “Show me that you never wanted to leave.”

Drake’s body crashed into Riley’s before picking her up and setting her on the counter. “I never stopped loving you.” Drake mumbled between kisses, moving his lips desperately to her neck. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He never thought he’d see this girl again much less be kissing her.

Drake swiftly brought her from the counter, holding her body close to his as she mumbled directions to her room. This was real.

Drake laid Riley on the bed, careful to make sure she was really in front of him. “Are you.. are you sure?” “Yes.” Riley shimmied quickly out of her small dress, laying back on the bed before urging the man in front of her to prove her wrong - that he did care all this time. Drake felt his heart jump as he slowly hovered over her, kissing her neck, down to her breasts. His fingers slowly traced down her arm, to her stomach, right above her underwear.

“You are so beautiful. Always have been.” He said. Drake slowly caressed the skin above her waistband before inching his fingers down to her heat, slowly sliding a finger in, causing her to arch her back. Drake kept his mouth placed on her own as she let out small desperate moans. This was it.

Drake managed to slide a condom out of his wallet, giving a few pumps before putting it on. “Brooks, are you sure?” “Yes.” Riley consented. With a long kiss, Drake slowly pushed inside of Riley, managing to fit his entirety into her. Gasps came from both of them, wide eyes staring into each other. “Are you okay?” “Yes, go on.” Drake slowly began rolling his hips into Riley’s, moans slipping through both of their lips.

This was different. It wasn’t two horny college students handling their frustrations. This was two adults who needed each other. Two people who were made for each other but didn’t know how the world would work to make it happen. And here they were riding out their highs together, Drake collapsing on Riley as she pulled him into her.

Her hands found his curls, twirling them around on her fingers, recognizing that she hadn’t felt this in a long time - and never thought she ever would again. After the moments they spent together, Riley found herself getting insecure.

Barely any conversation had been held for both of them to really understand what this could be or what realm had just been opened. He still very well lived across the world, and they both had growing up to do since the last time they saw each other. Of course they were different people, but who were they for each other now?

A silent tear escaped Riley’s eye as the man on top of her steadied his breathing, getting up quickly to clean himself up. Riley scooted over, bringing the blankets to cover her body. When Drake joined her again, he wrapped an arm around her, placing kisses to her forehead. “What is it?” He asked, noticing her tears. “Where does this leave us?” “We’re gonna figure this out, Brooks. I’m not leaving you again. It’s okay, I promise I’ll be here when you wake up. We both need to understand what this is and could be and who we are now. All I know is, I’ve missed you, Brooks. And I hope you missed me too.”

[wowtobio]

Hi, could you please write hcs for tendou, Kuroo, and iwazumi helping their s/o who has horrible back pain. Like to the point of almost not being able to get out of bed( I am in that situation, but during school I’d have to take a bunch of pain killers to get through the day)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟKuroo, Tendou, and Iwaizumi w/ an s/o who has back pain･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

awwh i’m really sorry to hear that :( back pain is the worst, i hope the pains go away for you very soon ❤

my last post flopped haha :’) o whale

genre: fluff

Kuroo

Alarm sounds jarred within the confines of your bedroom. Ignoring the searing pain in your back which was the true cause of your awakening, you slap your hand on the snooze button, silencing the most annoying sound in the world.

You sat up. Yup. Nope. Not today.

You collapse back into your pillows. The warmth and softness that welcomes you does not soothe the excruciating sting starting from your lower back spreading upwards. School is not worth enduring through combined with this. Gulping down some painkillers, you tell your parents class is a no go. And by the grim look you had, they allow you to stay home. 

Kuroo notices your absence immediately, and he pulls out his phone sending you a text. 

This boi will borderline spam your phone and will call you during break times at school. You appreciate the sentiment, but as you answer his fourth call with a tick mark on your forehead, he realizes that he should probably cut it out in order for you to get your beauty sleep. 

He thinks about you the whole entire day and is lowkey worried abt your well being awwwwh

Buys your favorite snacks and some painkillers on the way home, Kenma’s like “you’re so whipped kuroo oml” 

When Kuroo arrives, he just casually walks in. He’s been here before. Upon seeing your curled up form he sits beside you. No words exchanged as he lays his hand on the small of your back, rubbing it soothingly. His touch is familiar to you and you sigh with content.

You both end the day sharing and feeding each other the snacks and you listening to Kuroo talk about his day. He gives you the assingments he collected for you throughout the day and he offers to help you catch up on it. Of course, homework and studying is the last thing on your mind as you practically jump into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck, 

His arms encircles your body, his fingertips stroking your back in attempt to relieve the pain. 

Tendou

Groaning, you ignore Tendou’s phone calls. This was your morning routine, your adoring red-headed boyfriend would spam call you acting as your alarm, patiently waiting outside your dorm. Once you do wake up and get ready, you meet him outside and walk to your classes hand in hand. 

However, today was a different case. Your back decided to act up once again, normally you would bite your tongue and deal with it. It may have been the way you slept or your back just decided to be a little dickhead, either way you couldn’t even sit up due to the screaming pain you were feeling. 

Your ringtone going off and the text tones rapidly popping up did not help, your annoyance towards the middle blocker grew. Finally you picked up the phone.

“OI TENDOU COULD YOU QUIT IT PLEASE. I ain’t coming to class today so just go on without me” 

Before you could hear his dramatic wails, you push the red end call button and throw your phone on a nearby nightstand. Not even 5 minutes of peace go by as the door to your dorm burst open with your worst enemy aka your boyfriend. 

Thank goodness your roommate already headed off, but you silently cursed her for leaving the door unlocked. Ignoring the calls from Tendou you chuck a pillow at his face. For whatever reason he falls on his butt due to the force of said object and he spits out how cruel and cold you are. 

When you don’t retort back like you usually do and instead curl up into a ball crying a little in pain, the boi goes silent. surprisingly. This is not the first time you experience these pains, Tendou now reads the room and he waddles on over to your side. 

Poking your arm he c a u t i o u s l y asks if you’re okay. because he loves you ofc

“Nee~ (y/n)-chan. Are you okay? You’re no fun when you’re all grumpy like this”

No response again, he sighs before walking off. Your ears perk up at his short arrival. He brings back a heating pad and some painkillers with some water to down it. He offers it to you and you thank him shyly, a light pink dusting your cheekbones. 

You didn’t even realize how much time has passed and you frantically panic and shout at Tendou he’d going to be late for class. He merely laughs it off and wave off your concerns. 

“Don’t worry about it honey! I’ll be here for you, now lay on your stomach for me okay?” 

There’s no convincing him otherwise, so you sigh and lay down. He starts to massage your back and even do his cute little karate chop thing that always made you giggle (seen in the gif above^^ lucky goshiki). 

Iwaizumi

sooo I have read a few scenarios in which Iwaizumi is your nextdoor neighbor and all I have to say is yes. I love it. So I am writing about it here too because I want too.

#iwaisbestneighbor

Alright, upon waking up you cry out slightly as you predicted. The slight uncomfortableness you felt before and during you slept has ended with a now terrible aching in your back and all you want to do it make the pain stop. 

Try to sit up? Haha no, you could barely turn over on your side to check your phone, sending your boyfriend who also happened to live next doors, a text message saying you won’t make it to school. 

About 5-10 minutes pass and you hear your front door open. When your bedroom door opens you jump which causes you to yelp slightly in pain. Iwaizumi clad in his school uniform, tsks. 

“And here I thought you were dying” He scowls slightly. 

“I am Hajime! Or at least my back is hmph” You pout at him. 

Iwaizumi only sighs before sitting on the edge of your bed, his backpack left on your carpet floors, long forgotten. “I was only kidding” he states matter of factly, his roughed up hands from his volleyball practices finds themselves tangled in your hair. His hand strokes and massages your scalp and you purr at his touch. 

Tugging on his sleeve, you give him the puppy eyes you know he cannot resist. Hajime coughs slightly, attempting to hide the growing blush on his face and you only laugh at his shyness. He denies your request, claiming that he shouldn’t skip school.

“Buuuut Hajimeeee, you’re smart so it’s okay if it’s just one day” Cue the same puppy eyes, but this time cuter. Iwaizumi didn’t even know such a thing was possible. 

Turning bright red once again, he pinches the bridge of his nose and groans before sneaking into your arms right beside you. Silently cheering out of joy, you bury your face into his broad chest and inhale his masculine scent. His strong biceps wrap around and massages your back, he hides his face in your hair and mumbles

“I’m doing this for you idiot, so be grateful” 

-

a/n: it’s confirmed that i have a thing for iwaizumi’s hands sighh but thanks for reading! i hope everyone’s healthy, happy and staying safe hehe

masterlist

[lagaans]

Hey Girlies <3

So I wrote (am writing?) some scenes from little nooreva university au that I concocted because...I'm in university lmao and I love to read these. Anyways context: Noora is the program director for the campus radio station/club and Eva is a second/third year who has never joined any clubs and finally decides to find a new interest and maybe some friends (other than her roommate). This is just a random short scene from the middle of this completely unwritten fic but I really liked it so it's below the cut bc now this is getting long :)

Noora radio: hi hi

Eva: hello

Noora radio: i found this cool playlist, thought it might fit the vibe of your show :)

i listened last week and it was really good! you’re definitely getting the hang of it

Eva: oh thank u so much i’ll check it out

and i’m glad u liked it tbh was not expecting anyone to listen since i didn’t advertise it at all 😅now i really have to make sure its good

Noora radio: don’t worry too much about who’s listening, plus it’s kind of cool if i’m your only listener then it’s just like we’re hanging out

Eva: Speaking of music & hanging out...are you free on thursday? I kind of want to check out this new place downtown that has live music but i don’t want to go by myself 😬

Noora: cutie that sounds fun let me just look at my calendar

completely free that day i’m all yours babe

Eva: nice! It’s a date then

Noora: hahaha

Eva: oh wait did i just make that sound like we’re going on a date?

I totally did make it sound like that didn’t I oh god

“Shit.”

Fuck. Epic fucking job she’s just done. She shouldn’t have said anything and now she’s said too much in her failed attempt at backpedaling. People say ‘it’s a date’ all the time and she shouldn’t have said anything because maybe Noora hadn’t taken it that way and now Eva looks supremely uncool. This is worse than having a naked exam day dream, worse than being called out in 10th year spanish class, she’s going to have to quit the radio club, avoid Noora on campus, drop out of school even.

Bzz. 1 New Message.

She’s going to be ill.

She clicks on the notification.

Noora: and what if I don’t mind how it sounds?

Eva let’s out a high-pitched scream as she throws her phone on the carpet floor of her bedroom before clapping her hand over her mouth in shock. She stands there motionless for 5 seconds before snapping out of it and yelling again. A half-hearted “You good?” drifts over from the other bedroom. Eva sprints over and slams open the door.

“Dude I think Noora just asked me out on a date?” — “Or I asked her on a date...it doesn’t matter either way I’m going apeshit just look at this.” Eva chucks her phone at Ana who finally looks from where she had been hanging upside down off her bed playing doodle jump.

“Oh word? Lemme see”, Ana picks up Eva’s phone off the bed, scrolling through the most recent messages, eyes getting progressively wider. Then she bursts out laughing.

“Dude this is awesome! I can’t believe you finally asked her out and it was by accident, oh my god.”

“Hey! Don’t laugh at me, you cunt! I was just flipping out for like, ten whole minutes in my room.”

“Sorry,” Ana’s almost crying of laughter at this point, “This is just so classic I can’t even believe.”

She looks back down at the phone, “Wait. Eva you have to message her back, you haven’t answered her last message!” Eva groans.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, I don’t even know!”

“Say something kind of flirting but like, confirming that it’s a date for real this time.” Ana launches the phone back over to her.

“Shit, ok, ok, so ….” she starts typing and muttering, “‘don’t mind’?....sad emoji…..you..really...know...the...way...to a girl’s...heart...how does that sound?”

Ana looks up again from her own phone, “flirty, provocative…” she pauses, “I like it, full send.”

“Ok, fuck fuck fuck, ok I sent it.”

“Yes bitch!”

Eva: “don’t mind” 😔 you really know the way to a girl’s heart

Noora: Hahaha ok I retract my statement, eva i would very much like it to be a date on friday

Eva: well i’m powerless to deny that so i guess it’s a date for real this time

Meet at 17:30 by the art building?

Noora: i’ll see u there :)

[zalrb]

hi! same anon from before, hahah. first of all thank u so much for answering - i'm a big steve mcqueen fan too and i was wondering if you were ever interested in reviewing your favourite mcqueen movies? a few words for each kinda thing. i love your movie reviews because way more often than not, i find myself agreeing with you and you seem to find the exact right words. of course, it's merely a request you don't *have* to take seriously.i hope u have a great day!

OK so here is my list, starting from favourite to least favourite. The only feature film of his that I haven’t seen is Hunger.

What I will say are general Steve McQueen characteristics that I like about all of the movies is the fact that his films require patience and attention. If I’m tired or not really in the mood to devote my focus but I want to watch something, I’m not putting on a Steve McQueen film. I want to be fully present. His work demands that. I appreciate that.

I have also come to respect that there are what you would consider holes in his movies. Like we don’t really know anything about Brandon’s backstory in Shame, we know his sister says that they come from a bad place but we don’t know what that place is and the movie doesn’t find it necessary to divulge that information. Widows has a lot of loose ends that a typical heist movie may at least attempt to sort out but I don’t think McQueen really concerns himself with those details, he concerns himself with the emotional present and he concerns himself with the present to such an intimate and almost unbearable degree that it can make you flinch and cringe as a viewer because it’s uncomfortable to kind of stew in emotional truth like that, it’s uncomfortable to stew in the present that way.

There is an artistry and a poetry to his movies, it reminds me of paintings and I can say without irony or without being corny or without being pretentious, that these movies really do examine the human condition, do deep dives into emotion or deep dives into emotions that a particular event or issue would bring about.

1. Lovers Rock

I love this movie for so many different reasons. It means so much to me as a woman of Jamaican descent to see an ode to Caribbean party culture in the diaspora

and even though it’s in London and even though it was in the 80s, there is so much overlap in Canada, it was basically like a spiritual experience watching this movie and on twitter, there was so much outpour of gratitude and feeling seen by Caribbean Canadians, it was like a whole moment, so this movie makes me super emotional.

Like this scene, where they yell “Jah!” “Rastafari!” it got me in my chest and I had never experienced feeling so seen in film before because it’s specifically Caribbean, in this case Jamaican, and what I usually see is African American or movies from the Continent and this was diasporic and it was Caribbean

But what I also love about it is that even though it takes place over one night, it’s a love story between two young dark-skinned Black people and it’s handled with the kind of grace and beauty and weight that I like in my love stories, like it’s not Atonement, it’s not POTC, but it’s this culturally specific courting and coming together and it’s super sweet and just very nice

2. Alex Wheatle

There is this scene in this movie that is excruciating to me in its simplicity and it’s one of McQueen’s techniques or choices. So this installation in Small Axe is about Alex Wheatle who is an author and in the beginning we see his life in an orphanage and how he’s abused and ridiculed and how as a child he would be thrown in a room for hours just lying on his side

Then we get to him as an adult and we see the way the police harass Black youth and they take Alex throw him in the back of their van and he’s bloodied and beaten and he’s just lying on his side for hours. And I cried because that callback to his childhood was so brutal to me even though we don’t see excessive violence onscreen, it was just him lying on his side like when he was a kid and how systems upon systems are failing him and failing Black children, Black people and I didn’t need that spelled out for me, I just needed to see him lying on his side for minutes. And that’s kind of the power of McQueen’s directing/storytelling to me?

Another reason I really like Alex Wheatle - and the Small Axe anthology as a whole - is showcasing Black history in other countries

and it’s a great story about identity and figuring out your history, your roots, where you come from and how it informs you

3. 12 Years A Slave

I didn’t know if I was going to watch 12 Years A Slave or not, I kind of make it a point not to watch movies about enslavement now and I haven’t seen a movie about enslavement since (I did watch the show Underground though). What I love about this movie is how it examines the human condition, how it examines resilience, how it examines the soul, really, through many of the characters but particularly Solomon. It’s that unflinching portrayal of emotion and the present that really stuck out to me. And also again some of McQueen’s choices, like when they’re on the slave ship, for a lot of it we don’t see inside, we see the rudders

but that inspired such dread in me? We see the trees a lot.

We see the setting. We see the environment and that just adds a whole other layer, Lupita Nyong’o spoke about that when filming, about just thinking about the trees and what they witnessed. But I watched it, I didn’t cry until the third act then I wouldn’t stop crying then I pulled myself together and a week later, my roommate was playing it in her room and I could hear it and I was trying to write for workshop and it was just the score that I could hear and I got so emotional I had to ask her to put her earphones in so I could work.

4. Education

This installment of Small Axe was again an educational one for me (pun intended) because I know the ways in which the education system in my country and in my province and in my city fail Black children and I know enough about how that happens in the States, I didn’t know so much about how it happened in England and this was very illuminating for me without it taking on the tone of a docu. There is this scene that is just so uncomfortable to watch because it’s long and it’s boring and it’s irritating and that’s exactly what you’re supposed to feel because you’re supposed to feel exactly what the characters would feel in those moments:

Education also has a scene where we hear an entire song, but it’s deliberately not fun, when the teacher torments all the kids with his acoustic version of “House of the Rising Sun.” Why that song? That happened with me!

Oh my god. The teacher brought in his guitar, and he started to strum. We’re this captive audience. That was it. But it’s interesting, about that sequence. Because it’s funny, and then it gets irritating, and then you get bored. You have to go through boredom to get to the other side of it, and then you get to something else. And then there’s another understanding of it. So it had to play out that way, in real time.

and you know by the end, the movie explores how to engage children, how to encourage children, how to advocate for children and the different ways you can educate children so it’s an optimistic movie and I appreciated that

5. Widows

My second best experience at TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) was watching Widows. TIFF screenings tend to be very quiet. But there’s a scene in Widows where after the protagonists (four women) do the work and get the money, Daniel Kaluuya watches them, holds them at gunpoint and takes the money, then leaves in his car. Then you’re with him in this car and he’s feeling good about himself and he’s laughing and he’s listening to this speech his brother makes then you see another car gain on him, run into him and it’s the protagonists and they take their money back and the entire theatre cheered and clapped and it was awesome. And that is the type of “girl power” scenes I like that aren’t “girl power” scenes? Where it’s just this man thought he could take what he wanted from these women and leave and they were like ummmmmmm?

I would say Widows is McQueen’s most commercial movie and it still doesn’t read very commercial and unfortunately Liam Neeson is in it but again I like the choices he made, I like that when Colin Farrell’s character is going on this racist rant in his car, we see the exterior of the car with his dialogue as a voiceover.

I like how controlled and tight the direction is and how throughout the movie I was on the edge of my seat in a different way, I was just tense until it was all over. It was also interesting watching his direction with Gillian Flynn’s screenplay interact with each other.

I had issues with this movie, mainly one moment which is when Alice, who is white, slaps Veronica (Viola Davis) -- Veronica slaps Alice first but Alice is a character who has been abused and who has been controlled by the men in her life, by her mother and she’s finding independence and so she exerts that by slapping Veronica back and I just thought there were other ways to show that.

6. Red, White and Blue

Another installment of Small Axe. My first husband stars in it and won a GG for it

and has this gem in it

It’s a good representation of what it looks like trying to right a system from the inside, since this is about Leroy Logan who became a police officer and ended up policing the neighbourhood he grew up in and how he was trying to be a positive change in the environment and in the police force and the racism he experienced as an officer

7. Mangrove

The first installment of Small Axe. To be quite honest I wanted to like Mangrove more than I did. It’s Steve McQueen so it’s a good movie, although the accents had some Trini people I know be like mmmmmmmmmmmmno, and again it’s also an educational movie because you learn about the Mangrove restaurant which was a Caribbean restaurant and hub for the community and for artists and authors and the police saw it as a threat so they constantly harassed the costumers and did raids and did everything in their power to shut it down.

And there are some great lines in this movie, I was most compelled when it became a courtroom drama, because that was some masterful directing

8. Shame

Shame was definitely uncomfortable for me to watch haha and it’s interesting because there were reviews that were like the title doesn’t match what we see because are we really expected to believe that the protagonist feels shame when we see him in New York having anonymous sex with [conventionally] attractive strangers and he has awkward moments with his sister and I was just like ............ if there’s anything McQueen is able to do is show how mechanical and compulsive Brandon’s sexual conquests are and his inability to actually connect because once he does he becomes impotent and pushes Marrianne away, his life is sterile and unfulfilling

so, I don’t know, some of the reviews had me like, what movie were you watching?

[howggswouldreact]

♡ Serenity | Seulgi

Request: hii, can u write a fluf scenario with seulgi of red velvet where they gf have a bad day on the University and she tries to comfort her with cuddles and a lot of kisses ? thank u sorry for bad English ❤️❤️❤️

Plot: Reader has a terrible day at college and Seulgi is the only person who can help her feel better.

Words: 1,553

Genre: fluff, college!au

Notes: this is one of my favs i’ve wrote... hope you like it! ♡ ♡

You never thought that one day could be as bad as this one. And by just thinking about it, you were afraid it was going to start raining and a lightning bolt would hit the very top of your head, as it usually happens in the movies.

Since you woke up for classes, everything was going wrong. You stumbled when you got out of bed. When you went to take a shower the water that came out was strong and the fast jet was as cold as snow on Christmas morning. You put your blouse on the wrong side and had to come back to fix it. And, for some reason, you had the feeling that you were forgetting something. Luckily, you weren't late.

What was happening? It seemed to you that the day was destined to be a bad one. Was it some kind of curse? You didn’t know. But you were asking the universe not to make it worse.

However, it can be cruel when it wants to.

When you arrived at your first class of the day, you realized what you had forgotten: the last exam of the semester.

How could you miss such an important detail like this? It was the last one! And a subject that you were not so familiar with. Okay, your week was terrible, exam after exam, project after project, you weren't sleeping well or even eating well.

Sitting down and picking up your pen, you took a deep breath and looked at the paper that was deposited by your teacher right in front of you. Closing your eyes slowly, you thought of all the content you had learned, went over every detail in your own mind and hoped you hadn't missed one. You would need calm but, mainly, you would need luck.

A few kilometers and a few hours later, on the same campus, your girlfriend, Seulgi, was concerned. While sitting with two of her friends, Yerim and Joohyun, she texted you asking if you were eating or at least had a glass of water. The answer was almost always negative, so Seulgi's concern increased and made her heart squeeze. But since you didn't respond right away, she sighed heavily and put the phone back in her jacket pocket.

"Honestly, girls, I miss Y/N..."

"This is new!", Yerim said in a boring tone, used to Seulgi always saying how much she missed you, even though she saw you the night before.

“No, I'm serious, I haven't seen her in over a week. And we study at the same university! ”

Yerim's eyebrows went up in surprise. Joohyun, who was concentrating on her milkshake, finally spoke up.

“This last semester is very stressful, Seulgi, maybe she won't be able to manage everything at once. At least she had answered your messages, right?”

“Yes, but she is putting college above her own well-being! That's what worries me. She is not taking care of herself. ”

Seulgi's cell phone rang and when she picked it up she realized it was a call from you. She answered it.

"Hey, babe!", she said, with a huge smile on her face.

"Hey..."

From the tone of your voice, Seulgi knew there was something wrong.

"Did something happen?", she asked, worried about you.

"I’ve had a very bad day..."

"Tell me where you are and I will get you."

While waiting for Seulgi with the backpack on your shoulders, you looked at the sun, which was setting behind the tall gray buildings of the university. You were feeling drained and connecting with nature wouldn't work to recharge your batteries. Then you looked down at the sidewalk and there she was, in a black jacket and her hair hanging loose over her shoulders, a beautiful smile, which was the only thing capable of recharging your batteries.

Seulgi approached you and hugged you.

"Are we going to my apartment?"

You nodded.

You both walked hand in hand all the way. Her apartment was not far from the campus and it was much more comfortable for you two than your dorm. And your roommate would be there so you wouldn’t have privacy and you wouldn’t talk about your feelings to Seulgi.

When you arrived at her apartment, you hugged her again, and the feeling of her arms around you made you feel at home. Seulgi was your home.

"What do you think about..." she started to speak, fingers sliding through your hair as she slid her nose to yours. "... taking a shower to relax while I order your favorite food and put a really bad movie for us to watch?"

You smiled and felt her lips on top of yours. Seulgi sucked your lower lip and gave it a light peck, her hands cupping your face, her thumbs giving a gentle touch on your cheeks.

"I think it's a good idea.", you said when the kiss ended.

You went to shower in Seulgi's suite and she took out her cell phone to order your favorite food at a restaurant near her apartment. She asked for the order to come neatly arranged and even tipped the restaurant as an incentive.

In the bath, you tried to relax. There, the water was at a pleasant temperature. There, you were feeling well. It was as if everything needed Seulgi's presence to finally come into balance. You stayed like that for a while, so immersed in your own thoughts that you didn't hear the bell ring or even when Seulgi came in and out of the room quickly.

You came out of the bathroom and saw on the bed clothes that Seulgi had separated for you to wear. Smiling to yourself as you got dressed, you thought of how lucky you were to have her in your life and how she made difficult days easily light, as if she had done some kind of magic.

"Do you prefer to eat here on the sofa to watch TV or in the bedroom?", asked Seulgi.

She wasn’t wearing her jacket anymore and hadn’t turned to you yet. She was taking the food out of the bags she had received from the delivery man minutes earlier.

"It's so warm!", she said, pointing to the food on the table and turning to you. "Oh, Gosh! We haven't seen each other in so long that I forgot how beautiful you look in my clothes!”

“Hey, it was only for a week! I couldn't stay away from my teddy bear for a long time... ”, you laughed.

"Any time without you is a long time, you know that.", she pulled you by the hand and kissed your forehead.

"Silly!", you said, approaching and inhaling the delicious scent of the food. "My goodness, just smell that... Definitely, let's eat here in the living room!"

So, as Seulgi had said, you started eating while watching a cliché movie from the 00s' on Netflix, a very boring romantic comedy. This early evening made you feel that everything was completely different from your morning. Like the two sides of the same coin: one side, in the morning, was completely dirty and dusty; on the other side, it was shiny, shiny like your girlfriend's smile.

You finished eating and Seulgi stroked your hair, sitting next to you on the floor. She was facing you, the movie was of no importance to her, and you knew those dark eyes were reading you.

"Do you want to tell me how you're feeling?", she asked you, her quiet, low voice taking a path so deeply from your ears to your heart that you just started to cry.

All the feeling of tiredness, physical and mental exhaustion, leaving in an intense flow of tears. That simple sentence by Seulgi broke a wall, releasing trapped feelings.

Her arms went around your body, warming you up and giving you the security you needed at that moment, that terrible month. She kissed your cheek several times, kissed your temple, said everything you needed to hear:

"Everything will be fine, my love."

But, unlike when other people say the same thing, hearing those words coming out of Seulgi's mouth brought an immeasurable truth, a certainty that left no room for doubt. Everything would really be fine.

Then the tears gradually stopped, your breathing normalized and Seulgi wiped your face with the tips of the sleeves of her blouse. She placed a kiss on the tip of your nose, making a smile appear on your lips.

"This is how you should look, always with that smile that I love on your lips.", she pulled you closer, caressed your face, smiling at you.

Her lips traveled every corner of your face until they finally found your lips, applying soft pecks mixed with smiles. Seulgi had your heart and knew how to take care of it better than anyone.

"Thank you.”, you said, leaning your forehead against hers.

"For what?", she asked, confused.

"For being the best girlfriend in the world."

"I only accept thanks if it is in the form of kisses."

You smiled, your eyes alternating between her mouth and her perfect eyes.

"I think it is a price that I am willing to pay.”, you replied.

And you leaned down to join your lips to hers, finding that taste of serenity that only Seulgi’s lips had.