#thank god because i have so much work to do
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sweating- o.piastri
summary: oscar has been acting strange
pairing: oscar piastri x fem! Brown! reader
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Zak had been worried about Oscar for a while. The far-off looks in meetings, the silence at dinners, the constant stares he was getting, all of it. He’d even been so worried, that he came to you, and you’d told him that Oscar had been just fine at home, so it must be something to do with work.
It was a strange thing, to be dating your boss’s daughter. Oscar had in fact fallen for you within seconds of meeting you back in 2022, his first visit to MTC, before everything else happened. You, a legal trainee on the McLaren legal team, was the one running him through his contract, and he was very thankful that his lawyer was there to ask questions, because he was just focused on you. As he joined the team, you two got closer. About half way through his rookie season, he finally plucked up the courage to ask you out, and you had said yes. What ensued was a few months of sneaking around until you finally told your dad, who supported you two, but from afar. He liked Oscar, would he have preferred you pick someone that wasn’t his driver, yes, very much so, but he didn’t have a say in your life. You were an adult and if you wanted to go get your heart broken by an F1 driver, that was up to you. The one thing Zak hadn’t accounted for was the fact that Oscar was a sweetheart who was genuinely head over heels for you. He saw it when you were in the paddock, how Oscar smiled a little brighter, how he made you a priority all weekend, how he performed better.
So what the fuck was going on with Oscar now?
Zak was worried that he was planning on breaking up with you, or maybe he was just going through some mental roadblocks at work, so he called him into his office.
Oscar awkwardly took a seat across from him, waiting to be addressed.
“Are you alright, Osc? You seem a bit… off lately,” Zak asked, nothing but concern in his voice.
Oscar shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said, but even he knew it sounded wrong. This is really not how he wanted this to go. He was insured of Zak’s worry by the way his brows furrowed. “You can talk to me kid, you know that right? If it’s about Y/n or-”
“It’s not about Y/n,” Oscar assured him. “I’m alright, I promise.”
“Oscar, talk to me, I’m here for you. If you’re going through something-”
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask for your blessing!” he admitted, speaking far too loud and far too fast. Oscar looked up to see Zak’s face blank, his jaw slightly dropped. “I’m so sorry-”
“You have it,” he said. Now it was Oscar’s jaw that dropped. “Of course you have it,” Zak’s lips turned into a smile. “She adores you. You clearly adore her. I love you, my wife loves you, my sons love you. Of course you have my blessing.”
He took a deep breath and smiled. “Thank you,” he chuckled. “God, I was terrified.”
“You thought I’d say no?”
Oscar shrugged. “Maybe?”
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Zak was very happy when he woke up to a call from the two of you, engaged, a few weeks later.
oscarpiastri
liked by pierregasly, zbrownceo, landonorris and 348,928 others
oscarpiastri: awesome season, can't wait to marry this girl though :)
comments
landonorris: OMFG YALL ARE YOUNGER THAN ME PLZ SLOW DOWN -> oscarpiastri: no more papaya rules 🤷
pierregalsy: too young -> kikagomez: bitch -> user92: lmao he's never said that before
zbrownceo: Congrats guys! Can't wait to walk you down the aisle!
charlesleclerc: MY SON IS GETTING MARRIED!!!!!! -> oscarpiastri: thank you adoptive father :)
user93: god she is GLOWING
user12: these are the cutest photos ever!!!!!!!
user8: THE RINGGGGG
lilymunihe: OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!!! ->youruser: OMG LOVE YOUUUUU
user98: they're so in love it's actually sickening
logansargeant: no ring picking creds? -> oscarpiastri: I don't think grimacing at every ring I chose was very helpful -> hattiepiastri: nah, but it was funny
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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula one imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x you#formula one x reader#formula 1#formula one#mclaren#oscar piastri x fem!reader#f1 fluff#x reader#female reader#x reader insert#reader insert#x reader fic#x reader fluff#x reader fanfiction#fem reader#gn reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 imagines#f1 x you#requests#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction
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𝗠𝘆 𝗡𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿 [ 3 ]
Pairings: PornStar!Bucky Barnes x f!Reader Themes: Game of Cat and Mouse. Bucky being stubborn as shit. Summary: Things have turned awkward. You and Bucky hasn't spoken with each other for a few days now. But is the much needed space making things better or worse? A/N: Sorry this took so long lmao. My boy got sick and needed my undivided attention my poor baby but he's better now thank god. A/N: I honestly don't know how to top-up the previous parts but shit, I need them to connect to a deeper level first before jumping into full on smut okay? maybe in the next part. The song sums up the whole fic to be honest lol.
You’d become a master at memorizing Bucky’s schedule, knowing exactly when to leave your apartment to avoid any chance of running into him. But lately, it seemed like Bucky had developed the same strategy, and you couldn’t help but notice the way his presence around the building had become increasingly scarce. It was almost as if he was avoiding you instead.
Today, though, you decided to switch things up by taking the stairs. Sure, it was three flights down, but anything was better than the awkward tension of waiting for the elevator and possibly bumping into him. You clung to the faint hope that the odds would work in your favor, that the stairwell would be empty and uneventful.
But as you descended, the sound of footsteps echoed from below, growing louder with every step. Your stomach flipped, an irrational hope bubbling up before you could quash it. Maybe it’s not him, you thought, though deep down, you already knew better.
Rounding the corner, your heart sank and raced all at once. There he was—Bucky, just a few steps below you, pausing mid-step with his hand gripping the railing. His eyes met yours, and for a moment, neither of you moved. His expression shifted, a flicker of surprise quickly replaced by something guarded, his jaw tightening as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t.
“Oh,” you breathed, your voice softer than you’d intended. “Hi.”
His lips pressed into a tight line before he offered a stiff nod. “Hey,” he replied, his voice low, carefully neutral.
You stared at each other for a beat too long, the air between you thick with unsaid words. He looked almost annoyed—not at you, but at the situation, as if running into you had thrown him off his game. And maybe it had, because for the first time, it wasn’t you avoiding him. It was him avoiding you.
“So…taking the stairs now?” His tone was casual, but his eyes betrayed a hint of tension, a wall firmly in place.
You forced a laugh, though it sounded hollow even to your own ears. “Yeah, um… decided to switch things up. Exercise, you know.”
He nodded once, his grip tightening briefly on the railing before loosening again. “Right. Exercise.”
Another awkward silence settled over you, the sound of distant voices from above faintly filling the void. You shifted on the step, clutching the railing a little too tightly, your mind scrambling for something to say—something that wouldn’t make things worse. But before you could speak, Bucky cleared his throat and took a step to the side, making way for you to pass.
“Alright,” he said, his voice clipped. “I’ll… see you around.”
“Yeah,” you replied quietly, hesitating for a moment before you stepped past him. “See you.”
As you descended the stairs, your pulse pounded in your ears, each step feeling heavier than the last. You risked a glance back, only to find him already climbing upward, his shoulders tense, his head down. The image lingered in your mind, the sight of him retreating, the weight of his silence pressing down on you like a stone.
You reached the bottom landing, gripping the railing as you let out a slow breath. Part of you wanted to turn around, to call after him. But the words stayed stuck in your throat, tangled up with your own doubts and fears.
If he didn’t want to talk, you wouldn’t force him. But that didn’t make the ache in your chest any easier to bear.
× × × ×
You arrived at work, your mood sour and your thoughts tangled up in that awkward encounter with Bucky on the stairs. The usual morning chatter of the office greeted you. Trying to focus, you went to your desk, arranging your things in a futile attempt to bring some order to your day.
But then you heard them—Trish and Amy, huddled at the corner near the coffee machine, voices low but still clear enough to reach you.
“I just don’t get it,” Trish was saying. “It’s been days, and there’s still no new uploads from SergeantBarnes. Maybe he’s got a new project or something?”
“Or maybe he’s seeing someone?” Amy added with a conspiratorial tone. “I mean, think about it. He’s been off the grid lately. That’s got ‘new fling’ written all over it.”
You clenched your jaw, trying to block out their conversation. It was the last thing you wanted to hear today, and every word just stoked the frustration simmering inside you. You took a deep breath, attempting to rein in your annoyance, but they just kept going, their words grating at you.
“Honestly, it’s like he’s gone quiet for no reason,” Trish went on, sounding genuinely disappointed. “What am I supposed to watch while I’m waiting for Dan to finish his gaming marathons?”
“Is that all you two talk about?”
You couldn’t help it; something inside you snapped. Before you knew it, you turned around, your voice sharper than you intended.
Both Trish and Amy blinked in surprise, their expressions shifting from confusion to embarrassment. You continued, unable to stop yourself now that you’d started.
“You both have partners, for crying out loud. Do you really need to spend every second gossiping about some guy online?”
They exchanged glances, clearly taken aback. “Jeez, sorry,” Trish muttered, looking both defensive and a little hurt. “We didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”
“It is when we’re supposed to be working,” you replied, more irritated than you’d intended. “Maybe keep the fan talk out of the office? Or, I don’t know, find a hobby that doesn’t involve obsessing over someone else’s life?”
Silence fell as they looked at you, wide-eyed and a bit stunned. Realizing how harsh you’d sounded, you took a step back, immediately feeling a pang of regret. But the frustration from this morning was still fresh, and you couldn’t bring yourself to apologize just yet. Instead, you turned back to your desk, jaw clenched, hoping the tension in the office would dissipate as the day went on.
At the end of your shift, the weight of the day felt heavier than usual. The tension with Bucky hung over you like a cloud, lingering in your thoughts despite your best efforts to shake it off. It shouldn’t even be this deep—so why were you so affected? It’s just a casual thing, you reasoned with yourself. We’re barely even… whatever this is.
Yet, no matter how many times you told yourself to move on, the thought of Bucky—the way he’d looked at you, the frustration and hurt in his eyes—gnawed at you. You found yourself mentally bargaining, trying to find some middle ground, some way to keep your guard up but let him in a little, too. Maybe if I didn’t overthink it… if I just let it be whatever it is, I wouldn’t feel this way.
As you gathered your things, ready to head out, Trish and Amy approached with hesitant smiles.
“Hey, you okay?” Trish asked gently, her earlier excitement replaced with genuine concern.
You managed a small, apologetic smile.
“I’m so sorry about this morning,” you said, glancing between them. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you both. Just… a rough few days.”
They nodded in understanding, exchanging a quick look before Trish turned back to you.
“No worries, but hey, if there’s something bothering you… maybe we can help? What do you say to grabbing some dinner with us? We can talk or not talk about it?”
Amy’s face lit up as she chimed in. “Yeah! You shouldn’t have to stew over whatever it is alone. Come on, let us treat you to some comfort food.”
Their unexpected warmth and support tugged at something in you, and you felt the weight on your shoulders ease just a little.
With a small smile, you nodded. “Sure, that sounds nice. Thanks, guys.”
They grinned, and without missing a beat, each linked an arm through yours on either side, leading you toward the door as if they were determined to help you shake off every ounce of stress you’d been carrying. As you walked together, their chatter filled the air, and you let yourself settle into the easy companionship, hoping that maybe tonight would give you the reset you needed.
× × × ×
Across town, Bucky was pouring everything he had into the punching bag in front of him, each hit landing with a force that reverberated through his whole body. The gym was nearly empty, giving him the space to unload, each punch fueled by the frustration and confusion that had been building inside him for days. His jaw was clenched, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead as he moved, his muscles tense and coiled with pent-up energy. The sharp sound of his fists colliding with the bag echoed through the room, filling the silence as he worked to dump every complicated thought he’d been grappling with.
He had no reason to be as affected as he was, but the whole situation with you had hit him harder than he expected. He’d thought he could brush it off, ignore the strange ache that crept up every time he thought about your last conversation, but it stuck with him.
After a final, powerful jab, Bucky took a step back, breathing heavily as he let his hands drop to his sides. His mind was still a storm of thoughts, the adrenaline from his workout doing little to clear his head.
When he wasn’t working off steam in the gym, Bucky’s day-to-day was far less chaotic than most people would assume. As an automotive engineer at Ford, he spent hours each day under the hood, designing, testing, and refining high-performance engines. His focus had always been on innovation, on precision, on building something that could withstand any test. It was work he loved—real work, with real meaning, where every bolt and every part had a purpose.
The other job, his work in front of the camera, was different. It was an outlet, a separate side of himself he’d chosen to explore. People saw it for what it was on the surface, but it never felt like the core of who he was. You, however, had somehow managed to blur the lines between the two worlds in a way that left him unsteady. And for the first time, he found himself wondering if keeping his other job had been the right one.
The memory of your face—surprised, hesitant, almost wounded—came rushing back to him, making his chest tighten with something more complicated than he was prepared to face.
Why did it matter so much? She’s just my neighbor, he thought.
He sighed, pressing his gloved fists to his forehead as he tried to shake off the ache that had settled there. For now, all he could do was keep hitting, keep moving, hoping that maybe, at some point, the weight of it would finally start to lighten.
Later that evening, Bucky found himself in his kitchen, mindlessly stirring a pot on the stove. The rhythmic motion and steady bubbling should have been enough to distract him, but his thoughts kept drifting—inevitably back to you.
He remembered the first time you’d crossed paths in the building, how you’d barely glanced at him as you carried a pile of boxes through the hallway. It had amused him, how determined you were to act unaffected, especially after that sudden recognition flashed in your eyes. That little double-take when you realized who he was had been priceless. He’d leaned into that reaction ever since, throwing little teases and comments just to see your reaction, to see the way your cheeks would flush or how your gaze would flit away, only to sneak back.
There was something refreshing about the way you seemed to care so little about the reputation attached to him—so different from others he’d met. And maybe that was why he couldn’t resist teasing you, why he went out of his way to bump into you, to throw in a bit of banter just to see if he could make you smile or throw him a comeback.
But he never expected it to go beyond that. He didn’t expect that somewhere along the line, those little interactions would turn into something he looked forward to. And now, somehow, it had gotten tangled up with feelings he wasn’t prepared to deal with.
Bucky stirred the pot a little too vigorously, and a few drops splashed over the edge, hissing as they hit the stovetop. His hand stilled as he sighed, feeling the frustration bubble up all over again. This is my fault, he thought, jaw clenching slightly. I shouldn’t have come onto her too strong.
He hadn’t realized he was stirring so absentmindedly until the pot suddenly began to overflow, the liquid spilling over the edge and sizzling against the hot burner. With a muttered curse, he quickly grabbed a towel, lifting the pot off the heat and wiping up the mess, the sharp smell of burnt food pulling him out of his thoughts.
As he turned off the stove, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would take to make things right with you.
× × × ×
After a long day, you found yourself standing outside Bucky’s door, nerves twisting in your stomach. Just apologize, you told yourself, trying to gather the courage. Get it over with and clear the air. But as you stared at the door, words rehearsed in your mind, you found yourself hesitating. You’d been standing there so long that you’d lost track of time, each second stretching as you cycled through a list of possible things to say, none of which seemed quite right.
Taking a deep breath, you raised your hand to knock when a light, feminine laugh floated through the door, catching you off guard. You froze, your hand mid-air, as the laughter was followed by a familiar deep chuckle. Bucky’s.
"Alright, alright,” you heard him say, sounding more relaxed than you’d ever heard him with you. There was a warmth in his voice that sent a pang through your chest, the kind that came from comfort, closeness.
“Oh, come on, don’t act like you didn’t miss me,” the woman teased, her tone playful and affectionate. “I know you. You’re never this nice to anyone else.”
You swallowed, something tightening in your chest as you listened.
"Alright, guilty," Bucky’s voice softened, almost shy. "Guess you’ve always been a bit of a soft spot."
Your heart twisted, her words and his response echoing in your mind, each line pulling you deeper into a sense of unease. Soft spot? Nice to her in a way he wasn’t with anyone else?
Your mind jumped to the worst possible conclusion, and your cheeks heated as your throat tightened. You felt silly for standing there now, silly for even considering coming over to apologize. What were am I doing? Of course he's with someone.
Just then, you heard footsteps approaching the door, and panic flared. You turned, bolting toward your own apartment, fumbling with your keys as you heard Bucky’s door open behind you. Just as you managed to close your door, you caught a glimpse of him glancing down the hall, his gaze lingering on your door with a curious look.
Bucky’s sister, Becca, caught him glancing toward your door, she raised an eyebrow, nudging him with a knowing smile.
“What’s up with you?” she asked, a touch of teasing in her voice. “Is everything okay?”
Bucky gave his head a quick shake, trying to dismiss the worry that had settled there.
“Yeah, yeah… it’s nothing. Just thought I saw something,” he replied, though his gaze lingered a moment longer on your door before he finally turned back to Becca.
She didn’t look convinced. Folding her arms, she tilted her head, giving him a look that only an older sister could manage—the kind that saw right through any attempt to hide.
“Are you sure? You’ve seemed a little off tonight, Bucky. I don’t think it’s nothing.”
Bucky held up his hands defensively, a hint of a grin tugging at his lips as he tried to brush her off.
“Nothing! Really, it’s nothing. Now go home, seriously,” he insisted, ushering her toward the elevator with a slight push.
Becca rolled her eyes, clearly not buying it for a second.
“Right. Nothing,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she gave him a knowing look. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky muttered, a bit more forcefully this time, though he couldn’t quite hide the smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Go on before you start reading my palm or something.”
Becca laughed, throwing her hands up in mock surrender.
“Alright, alright, I’m going,” she said as she stepped into the elevator, though she gave him one last pointed look as the doors began to close. “But, Bucky? maybe figure out what you want before you drive yourself crazy over it.”
With that, the doors shut, leaving Bucky standing in the quiet hallway, he sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he glanced back toward your door.
Later that night, Bucky found himself slumped on his couch, phone in hand as he stared at the search bar. He let out a huff, rolling his eyes at himself as he typed: signs you’re into someone.
The results loaded quickly, and he clicked the first article, skimming the list with a mixture of skepticism and, admittedly, nervous anticipation.
Sign #1: You can’t stop thinking about them.
He paused, frowning at the screen. “Okay, that’s… kind of obvious,” he muttered, mentally ticking off that box with a begrudging sigh.
Sign #2: You go out of your way to see them.
Bucky narrowed his eyes at his phone, a smirk tugging at his lips.
“That one’s just stupid. I mean, we live in the same building. I don’t go out of my—” He paused, remembering all the times he’d “accidentally” found himself in the hallway when you’d get back from work, or when he’d gone to the laundry room at oddly specific times. “Okay, fine. Maybe sometimes.”
He kept scrolling, and the list grew more absurd—do you get jealous when they talk about other people? Do you go out of your way to impress them? By the end of it, he’d mentally checked off nearly every box, his expression morphing into a blend of reluctant acceptance and amusement.
Bucky sighed, tossing his phone onto the couch beside him.
“What am I, sixteen?” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. Here he was, a grown man, looking up articles about crushes and ticking off boxes like he needed some random website to validate what he already knew.
But as he sat there, he realized it wasn’t the checklist itself—it was the fact that, for the first time in a long time, he felt like this. Like he actually cared about where things went, enough to drive him to ridiculous measures for some kind of clarity.
With a sigh, he leaned back, staring at the ceiling, the weight of realization settling in. Bucky stared at the ceiling for a few more moments, letting out a deep sigh before grabbing his phone again and pulling up his contacts. Scrolling down to “Steve,” he hesitated for a beat before tapping the call button.
It rang twice before his friend picked up with a cheerful, “Yellow?”
Bucky rolled his eyes, smiling anyway. “Hey, punk.”
“Bucky!” Steve’s voice was light, clearly amused. “What’s up? It’s been a while since you called just to say ‘hi.’”
“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “I… actually had a question. Kind of. For… a friend.”
“Oh, a ‘friend,’ huh? Sure, I’m listening.” Steve chuckled on the other end, and Bucky could practically hear the grin in his voice.
Bucky cleared his throat, leaning back into the couch.
“Right. So, uh, hypothetically speaking… how do you know if, you know, if you’re into someone? Like, in a way that’s… not just friendly?” His words tumbled out, each one feeling more absurd than the last.
“Your ‘friend’ wants to know how to tell if they’ve got a crush, huh? Didn’t realize we were back in high school, Buck.” Steve snorted, not bothering to hide his amusement.
Bucky sighed, feeling his face heat up. “Look, if you’re gonna be annoying, I’ll just—”
“No, no, no, I’m sorry,” Steve said quickly, though he was still chuckling. “Okay, seriously. Well… I guess if your ‘friend’ can’t stop thinking about her, or if he finds himself looking for reasons to be around her, that’s usually a sign. Or if he’s, you know, protective, feels that weird jealousy thing… you know how it goes.”
Bucky was silent for a second, swallowing as he mentally ticked off each of Steve’s points. “Right. Yeah. Hypothetically, that makes sense,” he mumbled, rubbing a hand over his jaw.
“And,” Steve continued, now sounding suspiciously entertained, “if your ‘friend’ is calling up his actual best friend in the middle of the night to figure it out… well, that might be a bit of a giveaway, too.”
Bucky groaned, falling back into the couch with a scowl. “Alright, alright, I get it. Thanks, Steve.”
But Steve wasn’t finished. “Hey, Buck? If you’re asking for yourself—which we both know you are—maybe just tell her how you feel. You’re not as subtle as you think, and if she’s worth this much thought… she’s probably worth the risk, too.”
Bucky was quiet, swallowing the mix of nerves and excitement that Steve’s words stirred up. “…Yeah. Thanks, pal.”
× × × ×
The next morning, you were practically sprinting down the hall, head ducked and heart racing, when you heard him call out, “Hey! Y/N—wait up!”
You didn’t dare look back, only quickened your steps, praying he’d let it go. But his footsteps grew closer, and just as you reached the lobby, you felt a hand gently graze your shoulder.
With an awkward yelp, you dodged sideways, almost colliding with a potted plant as you called over your shoulder, “Sorry, Bucky—gotta go! Late for work!”
You bolted through the doors, ignoring the bewildered look he gave you as you disappeared into the morning rush.
You turned off your phone completely, just to avoid the constant notifications. His messages had started out simple—Hey, can we talk?—but quickly escalated. Each ding had become a taunt, a reminder that, even though he seemed persistent, there was no other reason to face him now. You left your phone off for nearly a full day, and by the time you turned it back on, there were over a dozen missed calls and messages waiting for you, each one a pinch of guilt you tried to ignore.
And just when you thought you’d mastered the art of dodging, fate had other plans.
Untik one bleary-eyed morning, as you rushed out of your apartment with a coffee in one hand and your bag slipping off the other shoulder, you came face-to-face with Bucky at the end of the hallway. There was no escape route this time; he was standing right in your path, his arms folded and an expression somewhere between concerned and utterly frustrated.
You tried to step to the left, but he mirrored you, stepping right into your path.
You shifted right, and he stepped left, blocking you again.
You both paused, sizing each other up. Then, in unison, you both moved left, only to collide shoulders. You exhaled in frustration, darting to the right, but he sidestepped with you again.
“Bucky, please,” you groaned, your patience wearing thin, feeling the minutes tick closer to being late. “I have to go.”
His eyes softened just a little, but he didn’t budge. “Not until you stop running away from me. Can we just talk?”
You scowled, giving him one last sidestep to the left, only to be blocked again. With a frustrated sigh, you finally did the only thing left: you placed both hands on his chest and gave him a firm push, slipping past him before he could react.
“I’m late,” you muttered, not looking back as you all but jogged down the hallway, leaving Bucky in the wake of your retreat, his gaze following you with an expression that told you he wasn’t giving up. Hell no.
× × × ×
Until one day, when you were in the middle of work, a receptionist from the ground floor called up to tell you that someone wanted to see you. Curiosity and irritation flared as you made your way down, a frown already forming on your face. And the second you spotted him—standing in the lobby, arms crossed, looking as frustrated as you’d ever seen him—you felt your heart drop.
You turned on your heel, muttering to yourself, “Unbelievable…” But before you could make it far, he called out.
“Y/N!” His voice echoed across the lobby, and you turned back with a glare.
“What the hell are you doing here, Bucky?” you hissed, stepping closer so your conversation stayed private, though part of you just wanted to get him out of the building before anyone noticed.
His jaw was set, his gaze determined. “Can we talk?”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” you shot back, crossing your arms. “Nothing should have happened between us. Let’s just… leave it at that.”
He frowned, visibly taken aback by your bluntness.
“How can you say that?” he demanded, his voice low but intense.
Your throat tightened, but you held your ground.
“I need to get back to work,” you said, not meeting his eyes. You turned to leave, but his voice stopped you once again.
“I’m not leaving,” he said firmly. “I’ll wait right here until you clock out if that’s what it takes. We’re going to talk, Y/N.”
You groaned, feeling a mix of frustration and disbelief. “Bucky, go home.”
But he didn’t budge. Instead, he took a seat in one of the lobby chairs, crossing his arms and settling in as if he were prepared to stay all night. Despite the receptionist’s raised eyebrows and curious glances from passing employees, Bucky stayed put, a stubborn expression on his face that only grew more determined with each hour that passed.
Throughout the afternoon, you tried to focus on your work, but every so often, curiosity and frustration got the better of you. By mid-afternoon, you found yourself messaging the receptionist, unable to resist asking, “Is he still there?”
The reply was quick and confirmed what you feared: “He hasn’t moved. Just sitting there, staring at his phone.”
You sighed, feeling a pang of guilt despite yourself. “Could you… maybe offer him a drink or something? He’s not going to leave, is he?”
The receptionist’s response was amused. “Already tried. Said he’s fine, but he appreciates it.”
The next day, he was there again, seated in the same chair, his arms crossed and his expression set like stone. This time, he came prepared—there was coffee waiting on the front desk with your name on it. When Trish and Amy teased you about the mysterious admirer, you convinced them to sneak out the back exit with you after work.
The day after that, he stepped it up. Roses. A beautiful arrangement of vibrant blooms appeared on your desk, the receptionist delivering them with a knowing smile. Your coworkers were relentless, whispering about your "secret boyfriend" and giving you sly grins every time they passed your desk. Again, you dodged them and Bucky, slipping out the back exit before he could catch you.
But no matter how much you avoided him, Bucky didn’t give up. Each morning, he was there, as stubborn as a mule—or more appropriately, as stubborn as Bucky Barnes. His persistence was unwavering, his resolve impossible to break.
Finally, on the fourth day, the receptionist herself came up to your floor, pulling you aside with a raised eyebrow and a knowing smirk.
“Y/N,” she began, her tone friendly but firm, “you’ve got to talk to him.”
Your stomach twisted as you glanced at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She arched a brow, clearly unimpressed with your deflection.
“Your man. He’s down there again. Same chair, same determined look. And he’s got flowers. Again.” She folded her arms, her expression softening slightly. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but he’s been here every day for the past four days. He’s polite, patient, doesn’t bother anyone, but... it’s obvious he’s waiting for you.”
Your cheeks burned, and you felt the weight of her words settle over you. “He’s not my—”
“Y/N.” She cut you off, giving you a pointed look. “Just talk to him. If for no other reason than to put him out of his misery. I’ve worked here for five years, and I’ve never seen anyone that persistent. Trust me, most guys wouldn’t even wait an hour.”
You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. “He’s... complicated.”
The receptionist chuckled, shaking her head. “Aren’t they all? But the way he’s sitting down there, looking like a kicked puppy one minute and a stubborn bulldog the next? That’s not complicated. That’s someone who cares.” She leaned in closer, lowering her voice. “Don’t let something good slip away just because it’s messy.”
Her words lingered long after she walked away, leaving you standing in the hallway, your heart thundering in your chest. You peeked toward the elevator, debating whether you could sneak out through the back again. But deep down, you knew she was right.
Bucky was waiting. And he wasn’t going anywhere.
With a deep breath, you grabbed your things, bracing yourself for what was bound to be another conversation you weren’t sure you were ready for.
× × × ×
You stepped into the lobby, your pulse quickened. There he was, sitting exactly where he’d planted himself hours ago, looking a little rumpled, maybe even tired, but every bit as determined as ever. His gaze lifted the moment you appeared, and for a second, his whole expression softened in a way that made your heart skip a beat. Relief, warmth, maybe even something more—it was all there, clear as day, and somehow it made this moment feel… different.
Bucky rose, a small, boyish grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as he approached. He didn’t say anything at first, just looked at you, letting the silence between you speak. The noise of the lobby faded away, leaving just the two of you, wrapped in a quiet, invisible bubble.
You forced yourself to stay steady, trying to keep the upper hand. Arms crossed, you raised an eyebrow at him. “So… you camped out here all day?”
His smile turned a little sheepish, but there was no hint of apology in his tone.
“Told you I’d wait. Figured you’d come down eventually.” He took a half-step closer, his voice soft and warm, laced with that casual mischief that made it impossible not to smile.
You rolled your eyes, biting back the smile creeping up. “Could’ve just… I don’t know, texted? Called? Like a normal person?”
He tilted his head, his grin widening just enough to make your heart trip over itself.
“I tried that, remember? Didn’t seem to work on you.” He shrugged, completely unfazed. “So I figured I’d go old-school. Sometimes persistence pays off.”
“Persistence,” you muttered, pretending to sound exasperated. “You mean showing up uninvited?”
Before Bucky could answer, the unmistakable chatter of Trish and Amy echoed from the elevator behind you. Your heart jumped into your throat. Oh no. Absolutely not.
Without thinking, you stepped closer to Bucky, practically pressing yourself against him as you yanked your bag off your shoulder and lifted it up like a makeshift shield to block both of your faces.
Bucky froze, his body stiffening at your sudden proximity, but his expression quickly shifted to pure amusement. His lips twitched as he looked down at you, your bag wobbling precariously on the side of your faces.
“Um… what are you doing?” he whispered, his breath brushing against your forehead.
“Shhh!” you hissed, tilting the bag slightly to peek over it. Trish and Amy were slowly walking toward the front doors, their voices growing louder. “Just… don’t move. They can’t see me with you.”
“And why’s that?” Bucky asked, his voice low and teasing, though he didn’t budge. Instead, he leaned down a fraction, his face hovering closer to yours. “Afraid they’ll get the wrong idea?”
“No, I’m afraid they’ll get the right idea,” you snapped under your breath, glaring up at him.
His eyes sparkled, and his grin widened. “Oh, really? And what idea would that be, sweetheart?”
“Bucky,” you warned, the heat rising in your cheeks as you tilted your bag higher, completely covering his smirking face.
But Bucky didn’t seem fazed. If anything, he seemed more amused, his gaze dropping to your face like you were the most fascinating thing he laid eyes upon. His voice softened, the teasing edge replaced by something warmer.
“You know, you’re really bad at hiding.”
“Shut up,” you mumbled, biting the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling.
He chuckled, his chest vibrating lightly against you. “Not gonna lie, this might be the highlight of my day. You, using me as a human shield. Very flattering.”
“Oh shut up,” you whispered, but your voice wavered, betraying the way your pulse was racing.
Trish and Amy finally passed by, oblivious to the two of you tucked against the corner. You let out a breath of relief, slowly lowering your bag. But before you could step away, you realized how close you were—Bucky’s face mere inches from yours, his eyes locked on yours with an intensity that made your heart stutter.
His voice dropped, soft and almost reverent. “You can hide from them all you want. But you can’t keep hiding from me, Y/N.”
Your breath hitched, and for a moment, all you could do was stare back at him, caught in the pull of his gaze. The noise of the lobby faded again, leaving just the two of you in your own little world.
“I told you,” he murmured, his tone steady but impossibly gentle. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”
You tried to ignore the thrill of butterflies that his words sparked. “Like I said, there’s nothing to talk about, Bucky. We should just keep our distance from each other okay?”
He took a steadying breath, his brows drawing together, his voice losing that playful edge.
“How can you just decide that?” he asked, his tone almost pleading. “You don’t even know…”
You shifted, heart pounding. “Because I know you’re already seeing someone else. I don’t need to be another complication in your life.”
He blinked, visibly taken aback. And then, just as quickly, his face softened, an incredulous, almost disbelieving laugh escaping him.
“Seeing someone else? Where did you get that idea?”
Heat crept up your cheeks as you tried to hold your ground. “I—I heard her, okay? When I was at your door the other day. The laughing, the… the way you sounded with her…” You bit your lip, looking anywhere but at him.
“Oh.”
He let out another breathy laugh, shaking his head as if you’d just told him the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.
“Y/N… that wasn’t a date. She’s not—” He broke off, running a hand through his hair, his expression a mix of exasperation and utter amusement. “She’s my sister.”
Your mouth dropped open, the realization hitting you like a freight train. “… what?”
“Yeah, my sister, Becca. She was just in town visiting.” He gave you a look of pure, amused disbelief, a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. “God, you really thought I was seeing someone?”
“Well, what else was I supposed to think?” you muttered, cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
Bucky’s smile softened, and he took another step closer, until there was hardly any space between you.
“You should’ve just asked,” he murmured, his voice low and warm. “Instead of. . . I don’t know? Avoiding me like the plague?”
You tried to summon a retort, but your heart was racing, your thoughts jumbled by his proximity and the way his gaze seemed to hold you captive.
Bucky chuckled, the sound soft and full of affection as he reached out, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“All this because of a misunderstanding?” His voice was low, his hand lingering, fingers brushing against your cheek. “I’ve been going crazy trying to figure out why you’re dead set on ignoring me.”
You managed to look up at him, heart pounding as you searched his eyes, suddenly feeling like all the air had been sucked out of the room.
“So… you’re not seeing anyone?”
“There’s only one person I want to see,” he murmured, his hand dropping from your face and now brushing against your arm. “And I thought I’m making that pretty clear?”
Your mouth opened and closed then opened again, “Okay. . .”
“Okay. . .” Bucky chuckles and steps back, “Shall we. . . restart?”
A flicker of surprise crossed your face, and a warmth bloomed in your chest at his invitation. You’d spent so many days tangled in your own assumptions, convinced things between you were over before they even began, and here he was, offering an olive branch with that disarming smile.
“Restart?” you echoed, your heart skipping a beat as you met his gaze.
He nodded, his expression softening even more. “Yeah.”
You gave him a small, hesitant smile, feeling a mixture of excitement and nerves. “Yeah… I think I’d like that.”
Bucky’s grin widened, relief and something warmer sparking in his eyes. “Great. Let’s go home?”
“U-Uh, sure.”
× × × ×
The streets were alive with the hum of the city—cars rushing by, distant chatter from groups of people, and the occasional burst of laughter from passersby. But despite the liveliness around you, there was an unspoken tension in the air.
You noticed the way women’s heads turned as you passed, their gazes lingering a little too long on Bucky. It didn’t help that he looked effortlessly handsome, his casual outfit somehow drawing more attention than it should have. A part of you wanted to roll your eyes, but another part couldn’t blame them.
Bucky didn’t seem to notice—or maybe he just didn’t care. His focus remained on you, his stride matching yours, though there was a slight hesitation in his step.
“You’re quiet,” you murmured, glancing up at him as you adjusted the bouquet in your arms.
He let out a soft hum, his hands sliding into his pockets. “Just thinking,” he said, his voice low.
“About?”
He hesitated, his jaw tightening slightly before he finally spoke. “About that night.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you instinctively looked away, focusing on the ground ahead of you.
“I thought we weren’t going to bring that up,” you said softly, your voice tinged with both unease and curiosity.
“We have to talk about it eventually,” he replied, his tone steady but gentle. “I don’t like leaving things unresolved, Y/N.”
When you finally reached the corner of your block, you slowed your steps. Bucky noticed, his own pace matching yours, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.
The two of you moved to the quieter steps of your building, sitting side by side. The soft hum of the city buzzed around you, but it felt distant, like it belonged to another world entirely. Your bag rested on your lap, your face soft under the streetlights, but the tension in the air was anything but light.
Bucky broke the silence first, his hands clasped together as he leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees.
“I’ve been wanting to say this for a while,” he started, his voice low but steady. “That night… I wasn’t mad at you. I was mad at myself.”
You blinked, turning to him in surprise. “Mad at yourself?”
He nodded, his jaw clenching for a moment before he continued. “Yeah. I thought I’d scared you off, made you feel like I wasn’t taking you seriously. The last thing I ever wanted was for you to think I was just… using you.”
Your fingers tightened around the bouquet, the ache in his voice tugging at something deep in your chest.
“Bucky, it wasn’t just about you,” you admitted quietly. “It was me, too. I panicked. I wasn’t sure if I could handle…” You hesitated, searching for the right words. “Handle what your life looks like.”
His head tilted slightly, his blue eyes softening as he looked at you. “Because of my job,” he said gently, not as a question, but a statement.
You nodded, feeling a lump form in your throat.
“It’s hard, Bucky. I hear my coworkers talking about you—about SergeantBarnes—all the time. They don’t know it’s you, but it’s constant. They treat you like… like you’re this fantasy, this unattainable thing. And it’s not just them. It’s everyone who sees you online, who only knows that part of you.”
He stayed silent, letting your words settle, his gaze never leaving your face.
“And then there’s me,” you continued, your voice wavering slightly. “I don’t want to be another name on a list or someone who gets overshadowed by… by the version of you that everyone else thinks they know.”
Bucky leaned forward again, his elbows resting on his knees as he turned his head to look at you. The streetlights cast a soft glow over his face, highlighting the sincerity in his expression.
“I get that,” he repeated, his voice quieter now, almost contemplative. “And I hate that you feel that way. But Y/N, you’re not another name on a list to me. You’re not someone who gets lost in all of that… noise.”
You held his gaze, the weight of his words settling in your chest. His patience today, his persistence—it wasn’t the action of someone who saw you as fleeting or inconsequential. It was the effort of someone who cared, deeply.
Bucky sighed softly, rubbing a hand over his face. “Look, I’ve kept my work and personal life separate for a reason. It’s always been easier to compartmentalize, to keep everything from bleeding into each other. But now? Now I realize that I didn’t think about what would happen if someone—if you—became significant to me.”
Your chest tightened, his words chipping away at the insecurities you’d been holding onto. “Bucky…”
Bucky turned toward you fully, his blue eyes locking onto yours, raw and unguarded in a way that made your heart ache.
“If I told you that I want to spend every day and night with you—not just because I like you, but because you’ve become the one constant person I can’t stop thinking about. If I told you that you’re my sanity when the world feels like chaos, my laughter, my desire, my comfort, my day and my night, my cold and heat—If I told you that, would you think that translates to only wanting you as ‘one of my girls’?”
Your breath caught, the raw honesty in his words shaking you. “Bucky…”
“I know my job makes things messy,” he continued, his voice quieter now, like he was almost ashamed. “But I get it—I get why it’s hard for you. I hate that it’s something that puts distance between us.”
He looked down at his hands for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “If I could go back and change things, I would. I’d do whatever it takes to make this easier for you.”
Your throat tightened, the sincerity in his voice making it hard to speak.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to change who you are for me,” you said softly.
“It’s not about changing who I am,” he replied, shaking his head. “It’s about making sure I don’t lose something.”
Bucky exhaled slowly, his hands fidgeting as he leaned back against the step, staring up at the night sky for a moment before turning his gaze back to you.
“I’m gonna be really honest with you, Y/N,” he started, his voice low, hesitant. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do about the… other stuff yet. It’s not as simple as just walking away. I’ve got contracts, commitments—it’s not something I can just drop overnight.”
Your chest tightened at his words, but you nodded, appreciating his honesty even as the knot in your stomach grew.
"And that means... what exactly?" you asked, even though deep down, you already knew.
Bucky’s jaw tightened, and he let out an exasperated chuckle, running a hand through his hair. “Do you really want me to say it? Do I have to say it?”
You didn’t flinch this time, your voice cutting through the tension with unsettling clarity. “It means you have to keep having sex with other porn stars… right?”
Bucky winced at the bluntness of your question, the words hitting him harder than he expected. His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything, his gaze dropping to the ground as he wrestled with what felt like shame.
You sighed heavily, pressing the heel of your hand against your forehead as you shut your eyes tightly. Your mind was spinning, your emotions tangled in a knot you couldn’t untie. Out of all the men that could catch your interest, why did it have to be him?
“You are the most complicated guy I’ve ever met,” you said, letting out a short, humorless laugh that carried no amusement, only exhaustion. “Oh my gosh, I honestly don’t even know—” You paused, your voice faltering as you opened your eyes and looked at him, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “How would you make it easier for me, Bucky? How?”
Bucky swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his lips parted, his gaze flickering over your face. He was clearly thinking, his mind working furiously to find a solution, any solution.
"Do you… not like the idea of me with other women?" he asked tentatively, his tone cautious.
You snorted, narrowing your eyes at him. "That’s a stupid question, Bucky."
"Just say yes or no," he pressed, his gaze intent.
"Yes, I do not like the idea," you snapped, your tone sharp with irritation. "But I can’t prevent it, can I?"
Bucky took a deep breath, his jaw tightening as he stared at you. Then, his next words came out carefully, almost testing the waters.
“What if. . .you do it with me?”
Your eyes widened, disbelief flooding your expression as his suggestion hung in the air.
Slowly, a startled laugh escaped your lips.
"Are you joking? You’re out of your mind if you think I’d showcase my body to the world like that!"
"I’m not saying you have to," he said quickly, his hands raising defensively. "I just thought… maybe it’d feel different. Less like I’m with strangers. Maybe it’d feel like I’m with you."
"Bucky," you said, your voice heavy with disbelief, "that’s not a solution. That’s… whatever that is, it’s insane."
His shoulders sagged slightly, and he ran a hand through his hair, his fingers tugging at the roots in frustration.
“I know it sounds insane,” he muttered, his tone rough. “But I’m trying to find a way to make this work. To make this easier for you.”
You shook your head, letting out a long breath. You stared at Bucky, your frustration and disbelief simmering just beneath the surface.
“Me… doing that with you? Just so I can handle this better?”
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.
“I know it sounds crazy. Trust me, I know. But I hate the thought of you being upset every time I have to perform. And yeah, maybe it’s a selfish thought, but if it were with you… at least it’d feel real. Like it means something.”
You bit your lip, his words tugging at something inside you. But the idea of putting yourself in front of a camera, of having your body displayed for the world—it made your stomach churn. "Bucky, that’s not… I don’t know if I could ever do that. It’s not me. It’s not what I want people to see of me."
He nodded slowly, his hands fidgeting in his lap. "I get that," he said softly. "But if it’s the only way to make this easier for you… I just thought—"
"You thought what?" you interrupted, cutting him off. "That I’d suddenly be okay with the idea of putting my body out there for millions of people to see? That I’d somehow be okay sharing you like that, even if it’s just on-screen?"
Bucky flinched at your tone, his jaw tightening. "I don’t want you to share me. I don’t want any of this to be a problem for us. But you don’t trust that I’m serious about you, and I’m just trying to find a way to show you."
You let out a shaky breath, your thoughts spinning. He wasn’t wrong—it was hard to trust, hard to believe that someone with a job like his could be serious about anyone, let alone you. But his suggestion… it wasn’t the answer. Was it?
For a moment, you considered something that had never crossed your mind before. The idea was ludicrous, insane even, but it lingered in the back of your thoughts like a whisper. Your lips parted hesitantly, the words tasting strange on your tongue as you said them.
"If I agreed… hypothetically," you started, your voice faltering slightly, "would I… would I have to show my face?"
Bucky blinked, taken aback by your question. For a moment, his expression softened, a mix of relief and regret washing over his face.
“It’s only a suggestion. . . you don’t have to do this, if you’re uncomfortable." he said, his voice quiet but firm. “I just… I threw it out there because I’m desperate to find a way to make this work.”
You exhaled, shaking your head.
“I don’t know. But the thought of you with someone else… it makes me sick. And now I feel like I’m stuck, like there’s no winning in this situation.”
Bucky studied you for a long moment, his blue eyes filled with understanding. You could see him weighing his next words carefully, as if they could tip the balance in either direction.
Finally, he broke the silence, his voice soft yet steady. “You know what? Forget I said any of that,” he said, his lips quirking into a small, almost sheepish smile. “It’s too much for tonight. For both of us.”
You blinked, caught off guard by his sudden shift in tone. “Bucky—”
“No,” he interrupted gently, shaking his head. “I’m serious. I don’t want you to feel like this has to be some big, impossible decision right now. We’re both exhausted from this conversation, and I don’t want to mess it up any more than I already have.”
You felt a lump form in your throat, a mix of relief and guilt swirling in your chest. He was giving you an out, a way to step back from the overwhelming weight of it all, and you weren’t sure whether to thank him or cry.
“How about this,” Bucky said, leaning forward slightly, his tone softer now. “Let’s just… hit pause for tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll do something normal. Something simple. Let’s go on a date—no heavy talks, no complicated feelings. Just us.”
Your eyes searched his, finding nothing but sincerity in his gaze. It wasn’t an easy fix, and it wouldn’t erase the doubts or the fears that still lingered between you. But it was a step forward, a way to reconnect without the weight of everything else pressing down on you both.
“A date?” you asked, your lips twitching into a hesitant smile.
“Yeah,” he said, his smile growing a little. “Somewhere fun, somewhere we can just… breathe. No drama, no cameras, just you and me.”
You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “You make it sound so easy.”
Bucky’s grin widened, and he shrugged, a teasing glint in his eye. “That’s because it can be. We don’t have to solve everything at once, Y/N. We just have to take it one step at a time.”
You nodded slowly, feeling the tension in your chest loosen ever so slightly.
“Alright,”you said, your voice steadying. “Tomorrow, we’ll go on a date.”
Bucky’s smile was warm and genuine, and for a moment, the weight of the evening lifted.
"Awesome," he said, standing up and offering you his hand. "Now, let me walk you up. Can’t let you carry bag on your own."
You laughed softly, taking his hand as he helped you to your feet. As the two of you walked back into your building, the night air seemed a little lighter. Although at the back of your thought, a question lingers. Should you agree to his suggestion?
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Insane Person - Max Verstappen (I ❤️ MILFS verse)
Words: 667 Summary: Max wants to be sure he can give Pan kids. (Part of the I ❤️ MILFS verse) Note(s): Takes place during the original I ❤️ MILFS fic, before Max finds out Pan’s age. Max is insane btw, this has been a blurb idea since I wrote the original fic and finally it has been written so enjoy, lol.
Masterlist | Support Me! | I ❤️ MILFS verse
“I’d love to give Logan a sibling or two.”
The words so soft had made his heart speed up as soon as he heard them and now thinking about them, letting them play on repeat.
It’s early in their relationship, though they haven’t yet talked about it yet, no matter how much Max is dying to do so. But Max wants to be the one that she gives Logan siblings with.
Which is why he’s sitting in front of his computer and looking at medical studies.
A lot of it is going over his head. The most schooling he sat through was the first four or five years of it. He can grasp engineering, anything to do with cars and their data, but medical terminology goes over his head.
He powers through, he doesn’t know Pan’s exact age, his mother would smack him over the head if he even thought to ask her age, but she’s got to to be mid to late thirties if not early forties considering Logan is twenty.
The studies say she’d be fine getting pregnant, shouldn’t have trouble conceiving, and his cheeks burn at the word, at the image it puts in his mind. They haven’t quite got their, but they’ve gotten close. They throw out the term geriatric pregnancy which makes him flinch because forty wasn’t old, at least not if you weren’t a driver and to see it be called something like that felt harsh, rude. Another one calls it advanced maternal age which really isn’t any better, but it’s just relieving to see that’s still possible. And then a study mentions that if people are having trouble conceiving that not only does the person birthing need to get checked, but both do and a new panic takes over his brain.
What if when it came time to try, he was the problem? It would really be his luck. Things had been going very well for the past few years, it would be his luck that he couldn’t give the woman he loves more kids.
And Logan wanted siblings, the panic grows as he remembers Logan chiming in that he’d love some siblings. Oh god, what if he failed in giving Logan siblings? He wanted the younger driver to like him, to really like him.
His fingers act quickly, wanting to know how he can know if he can have kids and the results make him blink because it couldn’t be that easy.
He just had to provide a sample in a cup?
Max’s brain struggles to compute that after just reading everything that women have to go through to get their fertility checked.
His hand goes to his phone, he rarely if ever called his doctor, but this was important.
He goes through the motions of confirming he is who he is, wondering how weird it must be for other people to do this for him before he finally gets asked why for the purpose of the appointment.
“I want to check to see if I can have kids.”
“Okay, are you and your partner having trouble conceiving?”
His cheeks burn, “We aren’t trying yet. I just want to make sure that it’s possible on my end.”
“Okay, it’s a simple procedure at our clinic and we could see you in the next three days if that works for you at any time we are open.”
“That’s perfect.”
“Alright, we’ll see you in a few days, Mr. Verstappen.”
He gets the results back five days after his appointment, an email sitting in his inbox, and he forces himself to take a deep breath before finally opening it.
There are words he doesn’t know, ones he doesn’t really want to think about, but there at the end, a note from his doctor that says everything looks great, and he shouldn’t have troubles getting someone pregnant and his fist goes in the air, a quiet but excited yes leaving him.
He could give Logan siblings and Pan more kids, thank fuck.
#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#I ❤️ MILFS verse#sins fics
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Hi! I’m new here! Idk if you are taking requests rn but umm, do you think maybe you could write the filthiest smut where Agatha is obsessed with readers pussy and after she pulls out she like holds her open just to watch her convulse and throb and watch everything seep out and she just talks about how perfect her pussy is? And then maybe reader has a biiiiiig thing for Agatha’s titties and can’t get enough of them in her mouth and falls asleep sucking on them for comfort? If not it’s okay I totally get it. Your fics do more for me than any other fics I’ve read 🙈
This was a hot request tbh so thank you! Hope it's as filthy as you wanted it to be
Title is Lana Del Rey song because coming up with titles are the bane of my existence and it kind of works
Cherry Cola
Agatha comes home after being away on a work trip for a week and you two have some catching up to do
Word count: 2400
Warnings: porn, literally pure filth and smut, girl penis agatha, cum fixation, fingering, sex, mommy kink, nipple fixation, slight nursing kink, so much dirty talk, think this is all
You’ve been perpetually horny for a week straight and it’s all your girlfriend’s fault.
She left on Sunday for a work trip and as she kissed you goodbye, told you that, under no circumstances at all, were you allowed to touch yourself until she was back on Saturday.
You thought it wouldn’t be that much of a challenge, since she wouldn’t be here constantly turning you on.
And then the texts started. The photos. The videos.
Messages like I wanna fuck you so bad and Need to fill you with my cum and watch it leak out of you and God I miss your tight pretty pink pussy so much filled your phone and she would send accompanying pictures and recordings of her hard and leaking cock or of the mess she made after she came.
Your particular favorite was a video of her furiously stroking her cock by the hotel window and splattering her cum all over it. Her grunts are still ingrained in your mind.
After a week of those, you were slowly going out of your mind, constantly having to change your underwear, but never once touching yourself.
Even though it was literal torture.
But it’s finally Saturday, and you are vibrating with need while you wait for Agatha to come home. She hasn’t told you when she’ll get there, so you pace restlessly around the kitchen for most of the day, trying and failing to distract yourself with something.
You’ve never been so turned on in your life, and Agatha has never let you go this long without an orgasm.
And then finally, finally, you hear the key turning in the lock and the front door opening.
Agatha barely makes it into the foyer before you pounce, slamming her back against the wall and kissing her. You’re already wet just from that when she sweeps her tongue into your mouth and switches positions to pin your arms up.
“Did you miss me, baby?” She asks amusedly, tugging your bottom lip between her teeth.
“So much, Aggie,” you say, squirming against her restraint. You just need to feel her against you.
She tightens her grip with a smirk and looks you up and down in your desperate state. “Were you a good girl while mommy was gone?”
You nod and groan. “I didn’t touch myself, no thanks to what you sent. You were killing me.”
“So good for me, doll. You’ll do anything I say, won’t you? You want my cock inside you?”
You bite your lip, eyes dropping to the tent in her pants. All you can think about is having her inside you. It’s not a want anymore, it’s a completely all-consuming need.
She grabs your chin in her hand and roughly tilts you up to make eye contact. “Use your words, baby. Tell mommy what you want.”
You swallow thickly, desire holding your brain hostage. “I want you,” you rasp and she raises an eyebrow, urging you on. Her fingers slide down to your throat as a warning. “I want your cock inside me. I want to feel you throbbing and twitching because of me and I want you to fill me up like only you can. Fill up my perfect pussy that belongs to you. Feel you drip out of me cause I love it when you cum inside me.”
You’ve been with Agatha long enough to know exactly what she loves to hear. And she loves to hear filthy, explicit details, especially about your cunt. Which you loved to provide.
Before her, you had never really been one to voice your desires. It made you feel embarrassed, almost.
But with Agatha, she wants to hear every single dirty thing on your mind. It had taken some getting used to at first, but when you realized what to say, and the effect it had on both of you, you couldn’t believe you’d never done it before.
Agatha moans at your words and drags you in for a hot kiss, her tongue moving against yours and staking her claim of your mouth. It’s like she’s trying to invade your body through your lips and you let her.
The hand around your throat slides down your stomach and dips under the waistband of your pants and you whimper when she touches you over your underwear.
“God, have you been this soaked the entire week?” She asks with a taunting laugh and your cheeks flush.
But she isn’t wrong. “I went through so many pairs of underwear,” you admit quietly and her smirk gets even bigger.
“Well, we better do something about that, don’t you think?”
“Please, mommy, need you to fuck me,” you beg and she grabs your hand and drags you up the stairs and to the bedroom. The ache inside you has grown into a gaping cavern.
Agatha puts you onto the bed and makes quick work of unbuttoning her shirt and unclasping her bra. She shimmies off her pants and you do the same, throwing your clothes somewhere across the room.
Your eyes immediately fall to your girlfriend’s breasts.
You may or may not have a huge thing about them.
They’re perky and so soft and there’s something about having her nipple in your mouth that makes you feel at peace with the world.
She sees you looking. “Want to suck on mommy?”
The question makes even more heat flare through you but you only have one thing on your mind right now.
Her cock.
Which is harder than a rock, precum dripping off it, and standing at attention pointing right toward you.
You shake your head. “Maybe later, just want you inside me now.”
She growls and crawls on the bed to you, grabbing your legs and yanking so you’re flat on your back. You gasp, waiting for her to push into you, but instead you feel her fingers stroking through your folds.
“God, I’ve missed your perfect pussy,” she sighs, teasing at your entrance. Your hips roll to try to get her inside, but she collects your wetness and circles your clit with it.
“Mommy,” you whine, needier than ever.
She shushes you. “I know, sweetheart, but be a good girl and let mommy play with you for a bit. I’ve missed your pretty pink cunt so much this past week.”
You bite your lip but noises still slip out as she fucks two fingers into easily and twists them. She scissors them to stretch you out, grinning when your back arches off the bed.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight and wet and warm around me,” she says, curling her fingers just right. “Can’t wait to feel you wrapped around my cock. You always feel so good squeezing around me, just need to fill you up and watch mommy’s love drip out of you.”
You keen at the visual, a light sheen breaking out over your body. She’s still fucking you with her fingers and you’re panting, babbling for more.
“Are you ready for my cock?” She asks and you immediately whimper, making her laugh.
“Please, mommy, need you to fuck me,” you say, your head spinning with want.
“What do you want?” She gets into position, grabbing her cock and stroking it, spreading her precum up and down her length. You get sidetracked watching her hips jerk forward and you moan loudly when she leans down to rub her tip against your clit.
Your head twists to the side as she begins to move herself up and down, coating her cock with your wetness, each time coming back up to move around your clit. Agatha lets out little gasps at the feeling and it’s only doing more to spur you on.
“Aggie, please, please, please,” you cry, and she pushes just the tip in. You squirm to try and get more of her in you, but she pauses and just admires the sight.
“Fuck, baby doll, you look so nice like this. Might have to take some pictures of my cock stretching you out for the next time I have to go away for so long,” she says and you clench around her. She, of course, notices and smirks. “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Anything you want, mommy, just please fuck me!”
She tuts at your impatience, but pushes in and bottoms out nonetheless. Your mouth opens at the not unpleasant stretch but nothing comes out and Agatha moans at the feeling of your walls around her again. Her hands scramble for purchase on your hips so she’s able to angle you up and she can slide in deeper.
“Fuck,” she swears in a low voice and you think you get wetter. Hearing her so affected by you is always a massive turn-on. She starts slowly rutting into you, never pulling out very much like it would be a pain to leave your cunt. “Been too long, I missed this. You feel so good stretched around me.”
She positions herself over you so she can kiss you as she begins to move in and out of you more. You have to continuously break away from her mouth though because she keeps hitting that perfect spongy spot inside you like always and it feels too good.
Your head drops back against the pillow beneath you and your eyes roll back in your head from the way she’s fucking you.
Agatha always knows exactly what you need and she always gives it to you. And based on the way she’s breathing, she’s getting exactly what she needs, too.
You become distracted by the movement of her breasts with every push and you can’t help yourself from grabbing them with your hands. When you brush over her nipples, you can feel her pulse inside you and her rhythm stutters for a moment.
“There you go, baby, play with mommy’s boobs,” she mutters, putting more effort into regaining her speed than talking loudly. But her mouth is right next to your ear so you hear her clearly. You roll her nipples between your fingers, tugging whenever she gives you a particularly rough thrust.
You can feel her throbbing inside you and you know she’s getting close. Which is perfect, because you are, too. You know she can feel you clenching when she deliciously drags her cock against your walls and tiny noises from both of you fill the air.
“Fuck, baby, mommy’s going to cum in your pussy,” she groans, her drives becoming shorter and shallower. You reach down to rub at your clit to push yourself over the finish line but she slaps your hand away and her thumb takes its place.
You’re so close.
“Need you to cum inside me, need to feel it,” you blather and her whole body stiffens and her breathing gets tighter. She goes silent for a moment before letting out a long moan, and you feel her throb inside you before a warmth spreads.
Her cum inside you triggers your orgasm and you tip off the edge of the precipice and pleasure explodes through your body. Cumming for the first time in a week is like dying and going to heaven, only to be revived by an angel.
The moment you come down, Agatha pulls out and quickly moves down your body.
This is her favorite part.
She maneuvers your legs so they’re bent with your feet on the bed and spreads your cunt lips open with her fingers. You gasp when you feel her cum start to ooze out and Agatha’s nails dig into your thigh at the sight.
“God, baby, look at that,” she says in awe. She collects it on two fingers and holds it up so you can see. Your lips part involuntarily and she reaches back down to wrap her hand around her cock and start lightly stroking.
Your throat suddenly feels dry at the image of Agatha doing that and you lightly cough.
A glob of her cum splatters out of you and Agatha groans lustfully, hips lurching forward.
“Your fucking pussy,” she says. “So fucking perfect and pretty for me. I fucking love watching my cum seep out of you after I ruin you.”
You can’t help but moan when she takes her hand off her cock and begins spreading her seed all over your pussy lips, absolutely smearing it everywhere like she’s marking you.
“God, Agatha,” you whimper when she begins to rub at your clit. Your walls squeeze and it sends more of her cum trickling out, which is her plan.
“It’s so hot seeing you covered with me,” she sighs and begins to circle you even faster, not penetrating you at all so when you start to convulse, her cum can flow right out. And it does; you can feel it leak and you can hear Agatha’s sharp breaths.
You cum again, making a huge mess all over the bed and Agatha, who doesn’t mind one bit.
She gets you a warm towel to clean your pussy and you lay on the bed, eyes closing, while she gets you a change of clothes.
“How was that, baby?” She asks, helping you put on pajamas. She puts on sweats and an oversized purple flannel.
You moan happily, immediately flocking to her side once she lays down next to you. “So good,” you answer, taking your rightful place on her shoulder with her arm wrapped around you. “Missed you so much.”
She kisses your head and gently plays with the ends of your hair. “I missed you too, baby. Might have to take you with me next time.”
You nod eagerly. “Hide me in your hotel room and fuck me all day and night,” you add and she chuckles. You shift a little, unsure of how to ask for what you need right now.
But she notices your loaded silence and can put two and two together based on what you usually need after she’s been gone awhile.
Without saying a word, she slowly starts to unbutton her flannel with one hand and you quickly help her to open it.
“So needy for mommy,” she remarks but you can’t find it in you to care because her chest is bare to the world and so are your favorite things.
You contentedly suck one of her nipples into your mouth and suckle on it, hand coming up to lazily play with the other one.
Agatha moans softly when your tongue flicks around her and that’s how you fall asleep.
With her nipple in your mouth, feeling perfectly fucked and fulfilled.
#agatha harkness x fem!reader#agatha harkness x reader#agatha x reader#agatha x you#agatha harkness x you#agatha harkness smut#agatha smut#agatha all along
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Omfg König accepting any massages from his partner. Cue, happy ending massage.
Here are the important questions: is he into it? Is he shocked by it? Does he feel awkward now because pops a boner when he gets a real massage because he has flashbacks to your special one?
(I want to ruin this man in the sweetest ways possible. Take masseuse classes just to give him a real massage before the fun one. Loosen those muscles up before edging him for an hour. Make sure special attention is paid to his balls. I can ice my wrist later if it aches.)
Ps i am so sorry for this 🙈 but the thoughts won't go away.
NEVER apologize for who you are. That’s how the man has kept us down for all these years.
Also, for anyone interested, this is an erotic audio roleplay where you’re a medic attending to König and he gets hard from you being so close, and then… well, I highly recommend it.
König is very much into the massages you give, no matter your skill level. Just having moments when you’re lavishing him with all of these undeniable, intimate touches… it’s a high for him. And when you have him turn over so you can jerk him off and fondle his balls? Oh my god. He’s fucking speechless. It’s terribly shocking. He’s stuttering and babbling between thanking you and letting out breathy curses. Total putty in your hands.
His usual masseuse is usually going straight to “alright now I’m going to launch myself onto your back from the top rope” so he doesn’t have time to even consider getting hard for that.
I’m imagining doing a sort of maid/master roleplay for him on a special occasion. Attending to all of his needs, rubbing his shoulders before you strip him down. Have him get in the bath with you, turn on the jets, lots of scented oils while you scrub over him (my Arthur Morgan memories are resurfacing rn) gently. Having him lay down on the fresh clean sheets, showing off your new skills on his shoulder blades. Having him turn over, mounting his thick thigh while you stroke his cock. He can feel the wet of your cunt sticking to him which you rock your hips, and it makes his mouth water.
He doesn’t protest when you edge him. He begs, but doesn’t protest. He’s always been a man who would take whatever you’d give him, as much or as little as that is. His balls are throbbing in your hand as you grip him at the base to keep him from cumming.
When you finally sink down on his cock, he cums almost instantly when you clench down on him (you’ve been working out your pelvic floor, you could make a grown man cry). Literally might be the best night he’s ever had in his life.
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there'll be happiness after you | Drew Starkey x black!reader
summary: what can you do when you're back in the same place where you had your heart broken for the last time? Is there any way to move past all the hurt and longing?
a/n: ok so I'm sorry for the long wait for this... This will be the last part of this story :'( I want to thank you guys for the love shown in this because this is my first time writing for anything other than House of the Dragon in a loooong time. I hugely suggest listening to "No Goodbyes" by Dua Lipa, "Funeral" by Zara Larsson or "happiness" by Taylor Swift during this read. I hope y'all enjoy it!
dividers: @/saradika
warnings: some cuss words, angst.
The morning after a was never my favorite. Always waking up with a pounding headache and lips as dry as a desert is not the best way to start a day. But there was something about today that made it all worse, for some reason, my brain decided to remember most of the events of the previous night─ touches, kisses, promises, apologies─ everything.
A part of me prayed that I'd forget about it and be able to sneak out without him noticing, but seemed like he was expecting that already and gotten up before I was even awake. The only thing that made it clear that he was indeed at home, was the soft sounds coming from the kitchen.
Okay... I know this apartment like the back of my mind, so since the kitchen door wasn't a direct line for the main door, maybe if I'm quiet enough I'd be able to leave without him noticing, right?
Dwelling on it would only make it worse, so I got up, picked up my clothes from the day before, and quickly got dressed again, this time feeling much more exposed than I did last night. I looked around for my phone, but it wasn't anywhere to be seen. Cursing myself, I remembered that I left it in the living room. Great, a detour.
Thankfully I didn't have to worry too much about how my hair looked as the braids did half the work in keeping it presentable. With a sigh, I walked out of the room with my heels in hand and kept quietly praying to the gods above to grant me this one wish. I just needed my phone and then I'm able to leave.
As I reached the main hall, I could see the bathroom door closed and the lights on. Great, this would be even easier. I quickly walked towards the living room looking for my phone, thankfully it was exactly where I remembered leaving it. It took me no time to grab the device and turn toward the door, only to have one of the biggest jump scares of my life.
"HOLY SHIT!" My left hand instinctively went to my chest as my heart rate increased.
Yeah, there goes my prayers. Drew was leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing a black tank top and a pair of grey sweatpants. His hair was messy and there was still a small air of sleepiness around him. He cleared his throat as he stared at me.
"Yeah, I knew you'd try to do that," he said with a shrug.
"Well, this is exactly what I was trying to avoid," I snap back after I'm calmer.
I could feel my hands getting sweaty and the weight of his gaze upon me was making me feel so uncomfortable. Like there was this white elephant in the room getting bigger by the second.
"Uhm, I kinda have to go-"
"Come on, let's talk over breakfast."
Without giving me a chance to answer he walked back towards the kitchen and I had no choice but to follow him. With a bit of reluctance, I dragged my bare feet after him. The cold tiles on the floor were not even bothering me as they were five minutes ago.
The worst kind of deja vu bathed me as I stood by the counter. The last time I was here was the worst day of my life, so I wasn't feeling great watching him move so effortlessly.
He filled two glasses with black coffee and the toaster with white bread before picking up some jam and cottage cream cheese.
I sat on one of the benches and quietly accepted the plate he handed me once it was all done, he then proceeded to sit by my side and we began to eat in silence, more like me watching him eat as I sipped my coffee.
"So you were just going to sneak out?" He asked casually after a few minutes as he coated his toast with jam.
"What did you expect me to do? I shouldn't even come here in the first place," I bite back and he places his mug down.
"Well, I thought you would at least grant me the chance to talk. We have a lot to talk about."
"No, we don't. We fucked and that's it. It shouldn't have happened and it won't happen again. It can't happen again." I confess, with the instinct of avoiding to meet his eyes.
"What do you mean? We have to talk this through and fix what happened. I know that I fucked up but you just left. As if it all meant nothing to you. We were getting married, for fucks sake." He says, throwing his hands in the air in annoyance.
At that, I stand up and begin walking back toward the living room. I had to leave. This could escalate and both of us leave even more hurt than before.
"I'm not doing this again. I didn't just leave. You pushed me away. You didn't give me a reason to stay. That's what happened."
"I love you! How can you say that?"
"Yeah, you might. But do you like me?" The words leave my mouth before a second to think them over.
He watches me for a second before running a hand over his face. All the traces of sleep were gone from his features now.
"Because I did. And I was so in love with you too," I continue, as my eyes begin to sting. "I was so ready to have the rest of my life by your side. So, how could you do that to me? When did I stop being enough?"
The questions kept flowing out and I couldn't filter my feelings or my words. I just wanted this to end once and for all. My brain couldn't stop reminiscing on last night's events. His touches, his kisses, him.
But being sober now and knowing it all was killing me. How could I be such a fool? After I tried so hard to erase him from my mind...
"No, baby, please listen to me, okay? Just let me talk," he pleaded taking a step closer.
"No, Drew. There is nothing to talk about. I shouldn't have come here and this shouldn't even be happening."
My voice is slightly pitchier than I'd like but I couldn't help it.
"Do you have any idea of how hard it was for me?" I ask looking at his glossy eyes. "I don't get to travel all around the world and the country so I can simply put what happened aside. I had to deal with pitying looks for weeks. I had to walk around the city remembering a life we planned together but wouldn't have anymore. I have to keep on living knowing that that the man I loved didn't choose me when I really fucking needed him to."
At this point, I wasn't trying to keep track of my tears or my words. I just needed that out of my chest so I could be free. I was so tired of carrying these in my heart that even if it hurt, it was freeing.
"So it would be so fucking unfair to me if I just walked back into this," I say as I wipe my face with the back of my hand. "I can't do this to myself again. No matter how much a big part of me still cares about you. I deserve better. I have to choose myself because you clearly didn't."
He didn't say anything at that because there wasn't anything that could be said. Both of us knew that I was right.
Seeing him cry was like picking at an open wound, it made me feel even worse. But, what else could I do? I could feel this eating me up inside and I couldn't look past all the suffering I went through just because he showed up again.
"Loving someone isn't enough to keep a relationship going. You have a lot to do and you didn't, you really didn't. So I'm sorry if I can't just pretend to be okay with everything after a few hours spent together after a few months."
"You think you're the only one suffering in this? I lost you and I had to wake up in our bed every day. I had to be in this apartment knowing that the person who made it a home wasn't going to return. And that no matter what I did or who came by, it was never going to be the same."
His confession made my heart clench but he brought this upon himself. It wasn't me who gave up on it.
"And who's to blame for that?" I say looking into his eyes.
"I know. Don't you think I've blamed myself enough for that? Because I did, for all the days that you have not been here. This is the first time in seven months when I have felt a sense of normalcy and that's because you're here. Don't you see that?"
Now that the bandaid was ripped once again, the both of us were in tears standing in the middle of the living room. The walls felt like they were getting closer and closer each second that passed.
"Did you know that Frankie came by on the third month? She gave me the TED talk of my life."
That caught your attention, Frankie has never mentioned that. At all.
"She told me that she knew that I wasn't good enough for you from the start, but that she had never expected me to be a shitty partner too. That she had never seen someone disrespect their girlfriend as much as I did without even knowing and that now that I was single the reason for my breakup pushed me aside for someone more interesting. So that not only was I trash for how I treated you but I was also dumb for not seeing it."
His words come as a shock to you. With shaking hands and deep breaths, you look around the room trying to focus on something that isn't his red face.
"And she's not wrong, you know? And I was also a coward for never coming to you and watching your life on the sidelines."
At this point, I was feeling the huge urge to sob. My hands were sweaty, my tears were not even drying in my face as new ones came down.
"So I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry for it. But please, don't say that I didn't care enough about you. Because I did."
His words keep ringing in my ear for a while as I try to place my thoughts correctly. Seven months ago I thought that it would be the last time I would see him and then I'd be able to heal and move on, but now seeing him and hearing everything was bringing a new wave of unaddressed feelings that I have not dealt with yet.
"I can't." A whisper comes out of my lips after a while. "And you have to understand why I can't do this again. I can't ignore everything."
He looks at me with his lips trembling as his tears keep on falling down his face. In the walls of this apartment now the only sound that rang was defeat. This was a lost cause and no matter what happened, both of us would be losing today.
"I'm sorry, Drew. I really am, but there's nothing that can be done anymore. " I declare as I finally feel like he might let me go. "I hope you find someone who's ready and brave enough to love you through it all, you deserve to be loved and the times that I felt genuinely loved by you were the greatest. That person just won't be me."
Like the first time, months ago, I turned towards the front door and walked out. Knowing that he would not follow me and that whatever had remained seven months and thirteen days ago, was completely over this time. Even if a huge part of me kept screaming at me to forgive him, I knew I couldn't. Not only it wouldn't be fair to me but I knew what would happen. Of course she wasn't as present in his life anymore, she completely isolated him from any potential significant other he could have. And if we got back together, the cycle would repeat itself and I would never put myself in a situation where I had to fight for someone's attention just to be tossed aside as if I was nothing.
In this story, there was ever only one winner and it wasn't either Drew or I.
💖taglist💖: @emmaafinchh @rafecamerons-national-anthem @bvleeeeeee @a-j-stuffs @maybankslover @lovelylove268 @cooper8224 @esquivelbianca @dreamybabbyy @lulubabii @idiotussupremus @drewsphswife @ietss @noneofyabuisnezs @chenslucy @yvbe99 @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @theeternaloptimistt @roselibrary @daddydraco0 @iheartcats444 @allopathi
#drew starkey#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x black reader#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x you#rafe cameron#drew starkey smut#rafe outer banks#rafe obx#rafe cameron obx#drew starkey imagine#rafe ca#rafe cameron x female reader#obx
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not to mention the entire antaam fleet like 😭 that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!
also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.
*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.
and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.
complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.
#it's just hard to discuss the qunari in general when it is so obviously written to be quote unquote bad#and theyre like. in veilguard. really just reduced to being an invading force. which they were before. but there's literally nothing else#not a single character that explains more about the qun or how it operates + the game presenting choices about taash#that obviously lean towards favoring rivain. god knows why. its not like we know enough about it to choose it#even a quick peek into a rivaini lifestyle would have been helpful. all we know are from lorebooks !!!!#its actually like. 'qun would have made taash into a weapon/they are actively invading treviso/theyre working w ghil+el/shathaan' etc#and then on rivain's side the points are just 'umm. well the lords are super nice. and love freedom... and its also NOT qunari!'#there ARE reasons to pick rivain just none of them are in the fuck ass game. no one who doesnt read the books would know this shit#does anyone know why the antaam are acting outside of their orders. i dont rmb if this was explained or if its supposed to be like#a very severe response to solas and defying orders to 'deal' with a threat?#but god. kont-aar as it exists is so interesting. maybe elements of like .#'the main qun ignore the changes in kont-aar/rivain because it's such an important part of their trade' situation. idk#i just cant see a lot of the extremely rigid qun followings actually meshing with this extremely 'accepting' culture that is in rivain#eg. rivaini seers allowing possessions vs. sareebas#but its said that the rivaini pantheists actually have lots in common with the teachings of the qun (?)#and again. its peaceful. most of the issues that are mentioned in games/etc are to do with the ORLESIAN chantry causing issues in rivain#so it just. makes me think. maybe things have changed and there's a blind eye to whatever happens in kont-aar#or if there are more hostilities or issues caused by their differing beliefs then it would be good to fucking like. hear about it#plus the qun in general is just. worldbuilding standpoint is like. what. im not a guy who knows too much about this part of da lore so#i had to fact check a few things while writing this response and some of the answers were like#just so unbelievable that im choosing to do whatever i want#anyways. sorry. got out of hand. let me know if anything i said isnt true#its entirely possible. my knowledge of rivain is patchwork but this is probably to do with the fact there's not a lot. yeah#god. i have to stop talking now. thank u anon for agreeing w me. sorry u asked me about the lords and i took it as an excuse#to air out my issues w rivain. because tyche was partially built up around that and then none of it even mattered#veilguard spoilers#answered#rivain
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Secret Santa
At your yearly Secret Santa draw at work, you draw Harry's name.
Terms and conditions (TWs): a lot bit sweet and a little bit spicy. Penetration not included.
Word Count: 7,999
A/N: Hello hellooooo. Look at me posting a Christmas fic on the 1st December! I've been feeling very Christmassy this year so if I can get my shit together there will hopefully be another, totally unrelated, one in a couple of weeks time. Love you all, and thank you for always coming back when I decide to post something <3
~~~
“Alright, everyone gather ‘round.”
I look up over the top of my cubicle to the common area. Charles, the office manager, is standing on the coffee table—that is unlikely to hold his weight for much longer—with a plastic bowl in hand and a cheap Santa hat on his big bald head. It’s not even the end of November yet.
And yes, we do have to call him Charles. Not Charlie, because ‘adding one extra syllable is stupid and unnecessary for a nickname’.
“It’s that time of year,” he says, grinning like a buffoon.
Trying to shove down my sigh, I push away from my desk and wander around the other cubicles to where the rest of the team is congregating by Charles.
“Are we all here?” he asks impatiently.
We’re not a very big office—ten of us total, including our illustrious leader, and a supervisor.
Looking around, it seems the supervisor himself is the only one missing.
Izzy, my partner in crime in this corporate hellhole, nudges my hip with her own from beside me. I bump her back.
“Are we doing secret Santa?” she asks.
“Certainly looks like it,” I mumble, and start picking at my nails.
“Why are we only nine,” Charles muses, doing another head count. “Oh—Harry! Come on!”
“Sorry!” Harry, the missing supervisor, calls back from some hidden place in the office.
“Time is money, mate!”
I rub a hand down my face, failing to hide my weariness.
A second later, a lanky frame hurries to join the group, wearing form-fitting pressed grey trousers and a black cable knit jumper. Something is different about him where he stands a head above the rest of us. Something I’m trying to hide my shock at.
“Oh my God, Harry—,” Izzy blurts, “where’s your hair?!”
The group titters with laughter at Izzy’s shrill horror. Even I let out a snort.
Indeed, Harry’s once voluminous curls have been shorn to a neat buzz cut. Annoyingly, while I never would have pegged him as a sexy bald, he wears it well. What I’m struggling with is why he’d choose to do it in winter.
“I’ve made a hairshirt out of it,” he deadpans.
From the practical cricket noises following his declaration, I’ll assume no one in our office knows what the fuck a hairshirt is.
hair shirt
in American English
NOUN
1. a garment of coarse haircloth, worn next to the skin as a penance by ascetics and penitents
2. self-imposed punishment, suffering, sacrifice, or penance
“It’s now hanging pride of place in my lounge.” Charles grins. “Anyway, we’re doing secret Santa for our Christmas meal this year, which is on the fifteenth of December. Times are tight, I know,” spoken like a man who has never known what it’s like to be clawing his way to payday to make ends meet, “so the cap is a tenner. It’s just a bit of fun, alright? Let’s go.”
He holds the bowl out, and one by one we pluck out a folded scrap of paper. I’m not last, which means there’s still a selection of three by the time I get there. I pick one at random, sure to hate whoever I get.
I know I won’t be lucky enough to draw Izzy again like I did last year, but I suppose as long as I don’t get Charles, I’ll be satisfied.
HARRY
Motherfucker.
I’ve already started moving back to my desk so I can’t feign innocence and try and swap the name. The second-worst name I could’ve drawn—that of the supervisor. And a more-than-occasional object of my affection.
Is it inappropriate to have a crush on your supervisor? Not really. I’m sure lots of women fancy their seniors in the workplace. I’m all for women in senior positions, but there is something inherently attractive about men in power—not including Donald Trump. Ew. Add to the fact that said man is already hot shit and (I’m talking about Harry again), well, it’s a lost cause. Never mind the fact that we were both asked to interview for the supervisor role when the last one left and I turned it down.
Harry and I used to be cubicle neighbours who shared coffee breaks and threw scrunched-up notes to one another over the wall. Once we had a cat GIF email chain going that spanned 134 emails over twelve days. Now he sits at the other side of the floor in a private office where the door is always closed and we don’t make coffee for each other anymore. We definitely don’t send endless cat GIFs to one another.
I add the slip of paper with his name on it between a document I’ve finished with, and stick the whole thing in the shredder.
~
Later that afternoon, around three o’clock—when I hit a motivational wall and have to take a walk around the office for a change of scenery—I’m standing at the photocopier scanning an abhorrent amount of paper. I really wish the people who worked here could learn to be a little greener.
“So, who’d you get?”
I look up from my scanning to find Harry leaning over the printer, looking boyish and handsome all at the same time. There’s a delighted little gleam in his pretty green eyes, and I have to wonder when I last saw him looking so… mischievous.
“Wouldn’t telling you defeat the entire purpose of a secret Santa?” I retort.
“Yeah, but this is me. I can’t keep secrets and I’m bursting to tell someone mine.”
“Please don’t tell me who you have, Harry. Not again.” Because he told me who he’d drawn last year and then Izzy also let slip who she had as well, and by the end of the day I’d worked out who everyone had. “Also, if you’re so rubbish at keeping secrets, I’m definitely not telling you.”
He pouts. “You’re no fun anymore.”
I try not to let it show how much that comment bothers me. Especially that it came from him. “Apparently not.”
“Is it me?”
“No.” I say as calmly as I can manage. Of course he’d choose himself first, and the name I happen to have picked out.
“Izzy again?”
“No.”
Harry then proceeds to list off every name in the office, to which I pointedly reply with no, each and every time.
“But I’ve said everyone’s names.”
“Exactly.”
He sighs. “Fine. Do you know what you’re going to get for yours?”
“No.” And it was a painful truth. A year ago, if I’d have picked Harry’s name out I would have been over the damn moon. Now, it feels awkward and weird to be buying for the good-looking supervisor who used to be my friend. “Do you?”
“I have a few ideas for mine.” He grins.
Lucky for some.
“Well, that’s good,” I answer noncommittally.
I start to move away from him, but I’m stopped by a hand around my elbow.
“Hey,” he coaxes, and I meet his frowny gaze. “You good?”
If this were my friend of a year ago, I’d tell him it’s Friday, I’m bored and want to go to the pub to start my weekend early. But because he’s my supervisor now and I don’t know where to draw the line, I decide to keep the line very low and say, “All fine. Just tired.”
His frown doesn’t ease when I make a poor attempt at a smile. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, yeah?”
Nope. “Yeah, of course.”
“Alright,” he releases my arm. “Well, if you’re really stuck on what to get your secret Santa person, you could look in the magazine I’ve left on your desk.”
I raise a brow at him and he grins again, all white teeth and dimples.
Ugh.
“Is it inappropriate?” I ask, feeling nervous.
He feigns offence. “Of course not, that would be very wrong.”
I narrow my gaze but start to move back to my desk again. “Yes, it would. But I appreciate the help.”
“Any time!”
In my cubicle I find a company magazine on my desk, tabbed two-thirds of the way back. The page opens to a website specifically for Secret Santa gifts. With a sigh, I follow the link and start mindlessly scrolling through the options. There’s everything from oversized mugs to slippers and swear socks, whiskey cubes to coffee table books, candles and incense to bath sets and body creams. I am not short on options.
None of this really feels appropriate for Harry.
Still, since I’m bored out of my mind and have nothing better to do, I waste a good thirty minutes more scrolling mindlessly. Even though I’m struggling to find something for Harry, I do manage to find a present for Izzy—bed socks with cats all over them—and for my mother—a Lazy Susan.
I’m about to give up my search for something fun for Harry and think I’ll just stop by the crafty beer place down the road from my flat—he said he liked a certain one once—when I spot it: The Holy Grail of Secret Santa gifts.
I don’t even hesitate, adding it to my online basket before I can talk myself out of it. It’s only a couple of quid, so I can get him something else as well.
I spend the rest of the day feeling oddly smug, and when five o’clock rolls around I snatch my things up and head straight for the shop that sells the craft ale Harry likes. Then I walk to the pub to meet Izzy.
~
Our office Christmas meal is held in a tapas restaurant around the corner from the building we work in a couple of weeks later. I’ve never particularly cared where we eat—I’ll always find something—but I do struggle to marry up Spanish cuisine with the festive period. Apparently the general consensus was that no one really wanted a traditional Christmas dinner because they’d be getting that on the 25th December. I’ve always just thought of it as a roast dinner on acid but what do I know?
Our dress code for this year is ugly Christmas jumpers, so our table is crowded with colleagues wearing everything from traditional 70s muted-tone cable knits to Charles at the head of the table in a bright red jumper with a light-up Christmas tree on it. I do have a little giggle every time I look at him. It’s awful.
I’m somewhere in the middle of the long banquet-style table, sandwiched between Izzy and Craig, the new guy in marketing. He only started on Monday, has spent the entire week looking like a startled otter, and is already dangerously close to crossing the line from tipsy to drunk. He doesn’t look old enough to be tipsy but I keep that to myself. I’ve been subtly adding more food to his plate anytime it looks close to empty and I don’t know if he genuinely hasn’t noticed or is too polite to say anything because he just keeps on hoovering it up. Also, the dangerous thing about tapas is you always think you’ve eaten more than you actually have, and end up hungry again when you get home. Or, I do, anyway.
“Are we all about finished?” Charles’s voice booms from the end of the table.
There’s ten of us here in all, so his volume also attracts the attention of every other patron in the restaurant.
As if we’re not raucous enough already.
A chorus of mumbled yeses echoes around the table.
Charles claps his hands together. “Excellent! Harry, bring the bag.”
Pink-cheeked, Harry manoeuvres his way out of his seat directly opposite me—I’ve been avoiding looking at him for most of the night in favour of Izzy—and locates the bag with everyone’s Secret Santa gifts inside.
When we got here, Charles was waiting by the door with a large gift bag—you know the ones children get on Christmas morning? This one’s got Peppa Pig on it, which was comical in itself—that we were promptly instructed to leave our gifts inside as subtly as possible.
Harry places Peppa Pig on Charles’s chair and waits like a faithful servant for his next instructions.
The next five minutes are spent watching Harry flit up and down either side of our long table as he drops presents into laps, a true Christmas elf.
“Nicely wrapped,” he comments as he places mine in front of me.
I pull a face while Izzy chuckles beside me, and inspect it for a moment. It’s two presents taped together—one tiny and solid, no bigger than a credit card. Hey, wouldn’t that be a nice gift. The other is bigger and heavier—a cubic box. I desperately want to shake it but it feels like it could be breakable.
Izzy just has one—short and cylindrical and, again, heavy. But it’s slightly smaller than mine. I don’t know why that makes me smug. Bigger doesn’t always mean better. In most circumstances anyway. I’m not sure anyone has ever said that about a penis.
“Alright everyone,” Charles barks when the last gift is given out, “start unwrapping.”
A little shiver runs down my spine.
Here’s the thing about me—I love getting presents. Whoever decides to marry me one day needs to be a giver, because I get a little thrill any time I open up a gift. I think I’m equally as generous, but this is exciting for me.
What’s not exciting is that attention keeps flicking around the table. I don’t like being the centre of attention. A hard line to balance. Basically, I’m sitting here slowly picking apart my gifts while trying to keep the joyous little smile my lips are itching to make off my face.
I open the big present first, which seems to be the opposite of what everyone else does. I’m also trying to be subtle about watching Harry open his gifts.
God, this is torture.
The big present evokes a barking laugh out of me.
It’s well-known in the office that I’m a lover of Tesco, in any form. Primarily a Big Tesco or a Tesco Meal Deal. The big gift is a mug that just says ‘Tesco Value Secret Santa Mug’ in the supermarket’s old branding.
“Nice,” I mumble. I’m grinning like an idiot. I genuinely love that mug.
“Someone knows you well,” Izzy says with a nudge.
She’s already opened her gift—a candle that apparently smells like mashed potato.
It’s disgusting.
“Someone doesn’t know you at all,” I say, nodding at the glass jar with a cork lid in front of her.
“Or they know me well enough to know I hate these candles and find it funny,” she retorts.
I snicker and pick open the wrapping on my smaller gift. I tug it out from the opened end, and with every new inch revealed, my mouth opens a little further.
I look up at Harry, whose expression is the mirror image of mine.
“You are joking,” Izzy says, and follows it up with a loud cackle.
~
Approximately 1 Year Earlier…
“Are you sure you don’t have me for Secret Santa?” Harry asks, pouting at me around the edge of our cubicles.
“Yes, Harry, I’m sure.”
I picked Izzy this year, who is the best person I could’ve possibly got as my favourite work colleague. Harry is a very close second, but I’d never tell him that.
“But you know who does have me,” he says matter of factly.
I do. In an office of ten people, I have managed to work out exactly who has who, only because Izzy told me who she has, and Harry has already told me he picked out the woman in Human Resources. I’ve deduced from there everyone else’s picks, including that I must be Charles’s. I suppress a shudder at the thought of what he might give me.
“Why does that matter?”
“Because I know what I want from them and I need you to subtly suggest it to them.”
“Oh, Jesus,” I mutter. “What is it?”
Harry rolls his chair around the cubicle partition, phone in hand. “Funny you should bring up Jesus, actually.”
He puts his phone on the desk in front of me, and at the same time he rests his chin on my shoulder.
He.
Rests.
His.
Chin.
On.
My.
Shoulder.
I try not to outwardly react to it, even though it’s setting off every single butterfly living in my stomach. I haven’t had sex in far too long if the simplest thing has me heating up this way
Christ.
Anyway, I finally look at Harry’s phone, and it makes me laugh.
Hysterically.
Honestly, I can’t stop.
I’m crying by the time I recover.
“Grow Your Own Jesus?” I sputter out, still tittering.
“Yeah!” He sits back and grins.
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I kinda feel I’m lacking a little faith in my life.” He shrugs, but that toothy grin is still all there, along with his dimples and shiny green eyes.
How this man is single, I don’t know.
“Shut up, Harry.”
“Just drop a hint for us, yeah?” He starts rolling away, but not before he drops me a little wink.
A wink.
I’m in so much trouble.
~
I stare at the ‘Grow Your Own Jesus’ in my hands, then at the matching one in Harry’s.
“You remembered?” Harry asks, clearly fighting a smile himself.
“So did you,” I accuse.
“Well, I just kind of hoped if you didn’t want yours that I could have it.”
I gasp and hold the small cardboard box to my chest. “No. He’s mine.”
“Wait,” Craig pipes in from beside me, “did you two get the same thing?”
“They got each other the same thing,” Izzy corrects. “The same weird thing.”
“It’s an inside joke—you wouldn’t get it.” Harry pretends to flip his now non-existent hair.
Izzy sticks her tongue out at him.
“I’m going to grow him in my Tesco mug,” I decide.
Harry quips, “At work, I hope.”
“Obviously. Pride of place on my desk.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it,” he says proudly.
“And what about yours?”
“Oh,” Harry pats the box on the table, “he’s coming to bed with me.”
A laugh bubbles out of me.
“Ew.” Izzy’s nose wrinkles.
~
After dinner is settled, we head out of the restaurant and to a pub near Soho Square. A couple of people drop off and head home, but Craig is still soldiering on, bless him. He’s more stable when in motion than when stationary, and as soon as we find a group of tables together, we shove him in the corner.
Charles offers to buy a final round before he heads home for the night, and when Craig asks for another beer, I make sure Charles comes back with a non-alcoholic one.
“Why are you so protective over the new kid?” Harry asks as he sandwiches himself between me and another colleague.
“I’m not,” I retort. “I just don’t trust anyone else to look after him if he’s too plastered to get home by himself.”
“That still seems quite protective,” he argues.
“Well, put yourself in his shoes for a second. It’s your first real job, you’re young, you have one too many drinks on a night out with your new colleagues and you’re left to your own devices when everyone decides to call it a night. Maybe you take a walk along the river to sober up, and the next thing you know, you’re toppling over the wall and drowning in the Thames.”
We’re silent for a moment. Harry is just…staring at me, probably wondering where that came from. To be honest, so am I.
“That escalated quickly,” he says after a bit.
“But am I right?”
“I doubt it.”
“Ugh, go away.”
“I don’t want to go away.”
“Well, don’t ask stupid questions. We should be looking after him as the newbie. He won’t come back if we treat him like shit. You, as the supervisor, should recognise that.”
Harry lifts his hands in defence. “Alright. Point taken.”
“Are Mum and Dad fighting?” Craig asks loudly, sitting on the other side of Izzy now.
Izzy pats his arm. “I’ve heard Mum and Dad fight, Craigy-boy, and it doesn’t sound like this.”
“We’re not fighting,” I assure him, although I’m not sure how I feel about being referred to as Mum next to Harry’s Dad. “We’re having a discussion.”
“Sounds like you’re fighting,” Craig mutters and sinks further into the corner of the bench we’re crowded on.
I take a sip of my drink just to keep my hands and mouth busy. Harry nudges me with his elbow, and when I meet his gaze he winks at me.
Winks.
At.
Me.
I’m not sure if the dreams that wink is sure to feature in will be welcomed, or if they’ll be nightmares.
Charles eventually calls it a night, with a shiver-inducing parting comment that he “needs to give his wife the good lovin’.” The rest of us thankfully don’t dissolve into chaos—I’m not drunk enough to be patient over making sure multiple people make it home alive and safe.
It’s only just gone midnight by the time I decide to call it quits. It seems no one else has been keeping an eye on Craig’s drinking habits, because the poor kid can barely stand or keep his eyes open.
“Alright, Craig, where’s home?” I ask as Izzy and I bundle his lanky frame into a particularly nice wool coat.
He mutters something inaudible and I let out an impatient sigh. “Say again?”
He repeats himself, and I think he says Lewisham. “Lewisham?” I clarify.
Craig nods.
“Couldn’t be a little closer, aye?” I grumble.
“You’re not taking him home, are you?” Harry asks, a little tug between his brow.
“I’m not leaving him by himself, H,” I remind him. “I wanted him to sober up and no one else listened, so yes, I’m going to make sure he gets home safe.”
“How? The tube is closed and the bus will take hours.”
“Well, I’ll just have to get an extortionate taxi and deal with it on Monday, won’t I?”
“Don’t you live in Tulse Hill?”
“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”
“Lewisham is farther out of the way than Tulse Hill.”
“Not really,” I argue.
“I’m coming with you.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t be daft.”
“I’m not being daft,” he insists. “By the time you manage to find a taxi willing to take you that far and actually get there, it’ll be close to two o’clock. And then you’ve got to get home from there. That’s pushing three in the morning. And while I admire your determination and independence and your incessant need to help the new kid, I am not willing to let you travel around London alone on a Friday night, whether you like it or not.”
We’re all quiet for a second—I actually think Craig is asleep on my shoulder now—and then Izzy very quietly whispers, “Damn.”
Sensing defeat, I release a pent up breath. “Fine.”
“Fine,” Harry concedes, “I’ll search for a taxi, shall I?”
“If you want,” I mutter.
We start walking, if only to find somewhere for Craig to sit down while he snoozes, and then say goodbye to Izzy, who’s boyfriend is waiting nearby to pick her up.
It’s cold and a little windy tonight. My cheeks feel frostbitten and my nose is painfully numb. I pull my woolly hat down lower to cover my ears and my scarf up higher to my nose, so all that’s visible is my eyes.
I catch Harry’s gaze, and he offers me a tentative smile. I smile back but I’m not sure if he can tell.
A taxi pulls up some minutes later, and we wake Craig up only so he can tell the driver his address. He falls straight back to sleep again, head pressed against the window.
I’m sandwiched in the middle back seat between the two men. Harry is somewhat bulkier than Craig. I can feel his thigh against mine. It’s warm, which is nice. I feel like I need the body heat.
The drive is relatively quiet, except Harry makes light conversation with the driver while I am also trying not to pass out on someone’s shoulder.
When we finally arrive at Craig’s house, the streets are eerily quiet. Harry makes me stay in the car while he wrangles Craig into his home. I move over into Craig’s vacated seat and watch out the window, a little entertained by the sight.
“Am I dropping you off somewhere else, love?” The taxi driver asks, breaking the quiet.
“Yes, it’s in Tulse Hill, is that okay?”
“No problem at all.”
“Do you know approximately how much it’ll be? And do you take card?”
“By the end of the journey, when I’ve dropped your friend off in Battersea, it’ll probably be over a hundred. But your mate has settled it already.”
“Wait, you’re taking Harry to Battersea?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I thought Harry lived in Brixton. Battersea is an even longer journey.
I rub my tired eyes.
Harry slides back into the backseat and eyes the empty middle seat now I’ve moved over, but he doesn’t say anything.
“When did you move to Battersea?” I ask quietly once the car is moving again.
Harry clears his throat, “Few months ago.”
“Do you like it?”
“It’s okay.”
“Just okay?”
He turns a look on me that I can’t decipher, so I decide to let it go. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it.
We’re quiet again, and I decide this time around I hate the silence in the car. I hate that Harry and I don’t talk about our lives with each other anymore now that he’s in a more senior role. I hate that he doesn’t really feel like my friend anymore. And I especially hate that this is mostly my fault because I don’t know where the boundary line is.
I lean forward and ask the driver, “How long will it take to get from my house to Harry’s?”
I can feel Harry’s eyes on me but I ignore him.
“Another half an hour, probably?”
I can’t help it, I grind my teeth together as I slump back into my seat. I’ve been avoiding looking at the time, but I look now, and it’s nearly half-past two.
My bones feel tired.
“It’s fine, you know,” Harry’s voice is like whiskey when he speaks, all low and honeyed.
“It’s not fine. You could be home and in bed by now.”
“So could you if you didn’t have the need to mother everyone.”
I don’t know what possesses me to do it—whether it’s the weariness or the level of alcohol in me—but I don’t retort with words.
I just stick my tongue out at him.
Harry laughs and shakes his head at me, turning that smile on his lap.
It’s that smile that forces me to say it, because no matter how much we bicker, I can never really be mad at him. “Why don’t you just stay at mine and go home in the morning when the tube is open again?”
His gaze snaps to me again. “Seriously?”
I don’t know where my confidence has come from. “Do you think I’d offer if I didn’t mean it?”
“But…your flat is tiny. Last I remember, you don’t even have a sofa.”
“I don’t,” I admit. “But I have a king bed. I can erect a pillow wall.”
He gives me a funny look. “I am not sober enough to listen to you use the word erect right now.”
I snort. “Seriously though. It’s so late and I’m tired and I don’t like this already, and for the sake of all our bank balances, just…just stay.”
He stares at me for a while. “I don’t have anything to wear to bed.”
I look at him, in his silly jumper and slacks and woolly hat. “I’ve got a big t-shirt I wear on my lazy days. You can borrow that.”
“How big?”
“Like, triple-XL.”
He purses his lips. “Maybe.”
“Come on, Harry. I’ll put it in the dryer real fast to warm it up, and I’ll even make you breakfast in the morning.”
His mouth twitches again, nostrils flaring as he wards off another smile. “Why are you pushing this so hard?”
“Because you didn’t have to come out all this way with me and you did it anyway.”
“Of course I did, I’m not leaving you alone with a drunk kid and a taxi driver.” He glances at the driver. “No offence, mate.”
“None taken,” he replies.
“Is there still a charge if we cut the journey short?” I ask him.
“No, you’re on a meter. If it helps make your decision any easier, I’m going home straight after this job.”
“See!” I gesture at the poor bloke in the front who we’ve subjected to this torture. “Let the man go home to his family, Harry.”
I can see the driver’s shoulders shaking, but he never says a peep.
“Alright, alright. Fine. I’ll stay at yours.”
“Good.”
Great.
Excellent.
Harry is staying the night at my place.
In my bed.
I hope I didn’t leave the flat in a mess.
~
By the time we’re dropped off at my flat, I’m a practical zombie.
I let us inside, feet like lead, and Harry follows with just as much enthusiasm. Locking the door behind us, I dig through my drawers for the t-shirt I promised and toss it in the dryer for a few minutes. I clean my teeth, and then give Harry the t-shirt. While he changes in the bathroom, I quickly change into a matching festive jersey pyjama set. Feeling sexy is the last thing I’m trying to achieve. If anything, I just want to be warm—the flat is freezing.
Once changed, I set about making that pillow wall I promised.
When Harry emerges, I’m midway through taking my makeup off.
Looking at him, I can’t help but giggle.
“When you said you had a triple-XL t-shirt, I thought you just meant a plain one. Or, like, one with some generic wording on it. Not this,” he points at his chest.
I admire him in my pink t-shirt, which depicts Salem from Sabrina the Teenage Witch surrounded by cake and the words ‘I eat when I’m upset’. “I think pink suits you.”
Harry’s eyes narrow at me, and he moves around the bed to the side I’m not perched on. He studies my pillow wall for a while. “Do you think I’ve got the lurgy or something?”
“The lurgy?” I chortle. “No, I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“I don’t think it’s me we need to worry about being uncomfortable here.”
“I’ll be fine,” I insist with a grin as I finish the last of my makeup removal, “as long as you stay on your side of the wall.”
“I would also be fine. I don’t think we need the wall at all.”
“And why is that?” I ask, tossing my used wipes in the small bin next to my bed. I slip under the covers, and Harry, with his hairy, toned legs, does the same. It’s still weird seeing him with a buzz cut.
“Because it’s half an inch tall. You couldn’t stop an ant from getting over it.”
I gasp, and reach over to smack his arm. “How dare you. Ants can vertically climb.”
“Are you sure?” Harry retaliates by smacking me too, except he completely misses and ends up whacking my boob instead.
“Ow.”
He’s already pulled his hand away and is covering his mouth, eyes wide with shock. “I’m so sorry.”
“You should be!” I hiss, rubbing the assaulted breast in question.
“I didn’t mean to. I was aiming for your arm.”
“Well, your aim is terrible.”
He rolls onto his side, giving me his best puppy dog eyes. “I really am sorry.”
“Sure you are.”
“I am! But this does prove my point that the wall is useless,” he reasons.
“Fine.” I snatch the cushion at the top of the pile and toss it at the foot of the bed. “Collapse the wall if you must.”
He grins, all pretty and green-eyed, and tugs the next pillow down the row up underneath his head. “Much better.”
Sighing, I say, “Go to sleep, Harry.”
“Yes, boss.”
I shut my eyes, burrowing into the pillows, and wait for sleep to claim me.
And I wait.
And I wait.
Unfortunately, I am far too aware of Harry’s presence beside me.
I’m thinking about the fact that he’s currently wearing my favourite t-shirt and the shameful part of me probably won’t wash it for ages. Maybe an even worse part of me will put it on as soon as he leaves my flat tomorrow.
Fuck this crush.
Why did I think it would be a good idea to let him stay here? In my bed? In my t-shirt?
I really hate myself sometimes.
“I can hear your brain whirring,” Harry says into the silent space between us.
“It worked overtime today, the fans are cooling down.”
He snickers, and then it’s quiet again. “Can I tell you a secret?” He asks after another minute.
I open my eyes to find him watching me. It’s a little unnerving but I can’t say I hate the attention. “A secret?”
“Yeah. I haven’t told anyone yet.”
I study his face in the dark room. “Okay.”
He wets his lips with his tongue first. “I gave my notice today.”
“What? You’re leaving?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“End of January.”
I can’t be sure, but I think I might be about to enter crisis mode. Harry is leaving. Harry, who I’ve seen almost every day for three years, is leaving.
I let him tell me about this new job—how it’s the same position but more money in a bigger company with better benefits.
For a second I don’t know what to say, but I eventually manage to come up with, “Well, congratulations, H. Sounds amazing.”
“Thank you.” He smiles. “Are you going to miss me?”
I pretend to think about it. “No, probably not.”
He gasps. “How rude.”
I giggle. “Of course I’m going to miss you.” Probably too fucking much. Like, crying into my cornflakes every morning for the foreseeable future. That much.
“Good. I’m gonna miss you, too.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I have missed you.”
I frown. “What do you mean? We see each other everyday.”
“It’s not the same, though.”
I know what he means, but I’m too much of a wimp to admit it. Or maybe I just want to hear it come out of his mouth, because it’s been swirling around my head for months and months. “How?”
“We used to go out together, you know, me and you and Izzy and her bloke. We had a good friendship going, right? And I think I kind of fucked that up by taking that supervisor role this year.”
“Yeah, but your career is your career, Harry. You did what was right for you.”
“Maybe, but I still hated knowing I’d drawn a line somewhere.”
Funny. I thought I was the one who’d drawn the line. “Well, we’re not going to see you at all now.”
He frowns. “Don’t say that. We can still have Friday night pub time.”
“I’m not sure, H,” my tone is teasing, “you’re joining the big boys now. You’re more important than we are, you’ll forget about us in a month.”
“Don’t,” he whines, throwing me that puppy look again. “I won’t.”
“Sure.”
“I’d never forget you.”
“I’m sure you say that to all your old work friends. Soon it’ll be new ones with new pubs to visit on a Friday night, and we’ll just be a minor blip in your career path.”
“Stop iiiiit,” Harry growls, and the next thing I know, he’s reaching across the divide we made and wrapping himself around my waist, his face in my neck.
I don’t know how to immediately react, stunted into stiff silence.
“You are not a blip,” he insists, squeezing me closer to him.
“You say that now,” I mutter.
“You’re not,” he snaps, then a second later asks, “Why aren’t you hugging me back?”
Tentatively, I loop my arms around his shoulders. I don’t know where to put my hands initially, but one ends up on the back of his neck and the other between his shoulder blades.
“Better,” he says, face still shoved into my neck.
We’re back to silence again for a moment, but my mind is racing. This is not how I expected to end my night at all. Not with a man in my bed and definitely not hugging said man. Who I’ve happened to fancy for far too long.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s a good thing that Harry is leaving. Maybe now I can take time to get over the stupid crush I have on him and start behaving like a normal woman in her late twenties, rather than the perpetually single saddo that I’ve become.
Yes. I’m determined to turn it into a positive.
There will be no crying into my cornflakes.
“This is nice,” Harry whispers.
“Yeah,” is all I can come up with.
“You’re very comfortable.”
Seriously? I want to roll my eyes. “Thank you.”
“I don’t want to move.”
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. DON’T. PANIC. “You don’t have to.”
“Yeah?”
I swear there’s something blaring in my head. “Sure.”
With that ringing endorsement, he snuggles closer and pulls me flush against his front.
This is fine. Absolutely fine. Nothing to worry about here. No siree.
Except, then, his hand finds the back of my thigh, and he pulls it over his. With a pat for good measure, he lets out a satisfied sigh.
“This might be the most comfortable I’ve ever been.”
Great. “That’s nice,” I squeak.
And it is nice, in a way.
It’s nice to be held in the embrace of another warm body.
It’s nice not to spend the night alone.
It’s nice to feel someone else’s breath on my neck that isn’t just my own reverberating back into my face from my pillow.
The tantric tickle of Harry’s fingers on the back of my legs is nice, too.
Really nice.
It’s so nice, in fact, that I…
I fall asleep.
~
I wake up plastered to Harry’s chest. Harry’s chest, that is still covered in my favourite t-shirt. God, that’s pleasing.
It’ll smell like him now.
#winning
I think I’m the first one to rise, which means I have the opportunity to sneak off and start breakfast, but then I feel a warm palm against the skin of my lower back, circling, and I realise I’m not the first over the finish line into consciousness. I also feel a slight chill against my sternum and I think one of the buttons on my pyjama shirt might have popped open, which means there’s definitely the potential for a peep at some boobage.
“Morning sleeping beauty,” Harry’s voice sounds like gravel.
“Hi,” I choke out.
“Sleep well?”
I slept amazingly. Dare I say it’s the best sleep I’ve had in weeks. Maybe even months.
Fuck it, it’s the best sleep I’ve ever had.
But all I actually say is, “Yep. Did you?”
He hums, his hold on me tightening. “Like a baby.”
I like that far too much. “That’s good. How…did we get like this?”
“You on top of me?” He asks and gives me another squeeze. “No idea.”
“I am not on top of you.”
“You kind of are. But I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“You’re comfortable?”
“I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. It’s like when you have a cat on top of you—you don’t move the cat.”
I look up at him for the first time, then. He’s still sleepy-eyed, but he’s more awake than I am and he looks so soft, and so happy. “Do you need me to move, Harry?”
“Absolutely not.” He follows this comment up with a lazy grin that has my insides turning to mush. He’s always been a little bit infectious, like a good drug, and so I can’t help but smile back at him.
He lifts a hand to my face then, still holding my gaze, with his finger under my chin while he gingerly wipes his thumb in the corner of each of my eyes in turn. When I throw him a questioning look, he responds with a simple, “Eye goo.”
I want to be disgusted by that, but I’m not. Not in the slightest. If anything, it’s making this crush I was so determined to get rid of yesterday even worse. And, because I can’t help myself, I gingerly reach my hand up to his face and do the same thing, wiping the dried moisture from the corners of his eyes.
We stay like that, staring at each other with lingering touches on each other’s faces. I don’t know what we’re doing. I’m terrified and nervous and excited all at once.
My heart is telling me he’s into this the same way I am, but my head is telling me I’m overthinking it and it doesn’t mean anything.
Now, call me fucking crazy, but people who aren’t into each other don’t touch one another the way we are.
I tell my head to shut the fuck up.
Tipping my head back slightly, it causes Harry’s light grip to adjust, until his hand all but swallows my cheek.
He lowers his head, and I know, I just know I’m not imagining the pull between us anymore. My breathing becomes laboured, chest heaving with every inch his mouth gets closer to mine.
When our mouths meet I’m dizzy, but I hold onto the shred of sanity I have left, if only to enjoy the moment while it’s here.
It’s exploratory at first—a simple taste of one another. Harry’s mouth is soft and gentle. He takes his time, like he’s learning me. His hands are doing the same thing, cautiously roaming my face, my arms and my back.
I don’t know what to do with my hands, because I want to touch him everywhere. Start with his chest, and for the first time ever I wish for the absence of my damn t-shirt on him. Move to his arms just to trace the definition of his muscles and the lines of his strong veins.
He’s so…delicious. Always has been, hair or no. And the permission to touch him in any capacity has me feeling drunk. I feel more out of sorts now than I did last night.
Harry’s grip moves to the back of my legs, and he drags me over his body so that I’m straddling him.
The new position has trepidation rendering my limbs frozen, and I have to force myself to move, to keep touching him. I can feel his length between my legs—not completely hard but certainly working its way there.
“Is this okay?” Harry asks against my lips, voice hushed but still loud in the quiet room. His hands dance over my hips and thighs, like he wants to touch other places but is worried of crossing that line.
“Yes,” I breathe in answer.
He resumes his ministrations, becoming braver now with the use of his mouth, and in turn I do too.
My hands finally slip underneath the cotton t-shirt to feel the taut skin of his abdomen, fingertips following every dip and curve. In return, Harry slides his up my shirt, taking the weight of my breasts in his hands.
“They’re so soft,” he comments, and for some reason I like that so much that I kiss him deeper.
Our tongues are involved now, licking and nipping and tasting the other where we can.
“I want to take your shirt off,” I admit.
“You mean your shirt?” He teases, and moves into a sitting position with absolutely no effort.
“Both,” I tell him.
He grins, kissing me again while I ease the cotton up his body, until we have to break apart so I can remove it completely.
Harry’s body is…perfect. I knew it would be—toned lines, masculine, pronounced muscles. I want to lick it.
I’m kissing him again, if only to stop myself from lapping at his golden skin.
I’m kissing the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen—ever known.
I can feel him toying with the buttons on my pyjama top, slowly coaxing each one free. When the last one is done, he slips the garment over my shoulders until we’re in matching states of undress. His large hands cup my boobs, thumbs rubbing against my nipples.
A sharp bolt of pleasure zips through me, straight to the pulsing core between my legs. With an involuntary rock of my hips, I moan into his mouth.
“Oh, shit,” he groans, “did you like that?”
I can only nod, and then whine when he does it again. Helpless to the taste of him, I loop my arms around his neck. Our bodies are flush together, tongues tangled, and my centre is lined up right over his cock. His cock that is now fully hard.
I start rocking my hips in a rhythm if only to find some friction for the need growing in my lower belly.
Harry’s grip moves from my tits to my arse, squeezing tightly and encouraging my movements. “If you keep doing that I’m going to embarrass myself and make a mess in my boxers, but I don’t want you to stop.”
“Please don’t make me stop,” I beg.
“You better not stop.”
So I don’t. I keep rocking, keep kissing, keep touching.
Every roll of my hips is ecstasy and I can feel the bubble growing inside me, pushing to the surface. The heat in my body expands, not just inside me but across my back and my arms and my chest. I haven’t had any physical contact for a while, and the intimacy of this, with Harry, is setting off every single one of my nerve endings.
“I want to see you come,” he tells me.
I grip the back of Harry’s neck, and for the first time since we started kissing, he moves his mouth. He kisses my cheek, then my neck, my throat, my chest, and then he finally pulls my nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking while squeezing my breast, and, well…
I go off.
My orgasm crests in the least subtle manner—loud and hard. My core is pulsing and my legs are shaking. My body is on fire—in fact, I’m sure I can feel a bead of sweat dripping between my cleavage.
Harry’s mouth is on mine again, warm and wet and sultry, and I cling to him like I’ve got nothing else in the world.
“You’re so pretty,” Harry whispers against my lips.
My face flushes, as if I’m not already burning up, but I still manage to say, “So are you.”
He kisses me hard but chaste. “I’ve wanted to see you like that for a while.”
“Like what?” I ask, still panting.
“Undone. By me, specifically.”
I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. “What?”
He laughs, and his thumb strokes my cheek, “I’ve always thought you’re sexy as fuck.”
“No you haven’t.”
“I bloody have,” he insists. “I thought you knew that.”
I scoff. “No, I didn’t know that.”
“Well, I’ll keep telling you until you believe me. Now, I’m pretty sure I was promised breakfast?”
I give him a questioning look. “But what about…you?” I ask, and throw a pointed look at the space where our crotches meet.
“I don't believe in transactional pleasure,” he tells me, then kisses me again. “I just hope we can do this again.”
“What, sleepover?”
He laughs. “Sure, if that’s what you want to call it. But I was also hoping there might be some dating involved.”
I gawk at him. “You want to date me?”
“Indefinitely.”
Well, shit.
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benefit of friends - kim mingyu imagine
god really made this man to be the most perfect one😭 how to get your own kim mingyu (asking for a friend) lol anyways hope you like this one!
for my other svt fics, check them here
if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛
All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(pic not mine, credits to rightful owner)
You’ve always been good at compartmentalizing.
Work is work. Fun is fun. Feelings? Well, they’re like those receipts stuffed into your wallet... you’ll deal with them later.
Your arrangement with Mingyu, your ridiculously handsome coworker-turned-“friend-with-benefits,” was supposed to fall neatly into the “fun” category.
No strings, no expectations, no messy emotions.
But tonight, at the company dinner, you’re beginning to realize that neatly labeled boxes have a way of getting jumbled when Mingyu’s around.
The restaurant is buzzing with chatter, glasses clinking, and the hum of soft music in the background. His deep, warm laugh carries over the noise, drawing glances from everyone at your table. He’s always been effortlessly charming, with his broad shoulders, that perfect smile, and a sense of humor that’s impossible to resist.
And right now, someone else seems to have noticed.
A junior marketing associate, her name slips your mind, but she’s all bright eyes and flirty giggles. She's leaning just a little too close to him. Her hand grazes his arm as she laughs at something he said, and you swear you see her fingers linger there for a moment longer than necessary.
Your chest tightens, and you quickly take a sip of your wine, hoping the bitterness will drown the unfamiliar feeling clawing its way up your throat.
Jealousy.
It’s ridiculous, really. You and Mingyu aren’t together.
You’ve both made it clear: this is casual. Easy. No messy emotions, remember?
So why does it bother you so much when he leans in to whisper something to her, his grin widening as she laughs again?
“Are you okay?” a colleague asks, pulling you out of your spiral.
“Yeah, fine,” you reply, forcing a smile.
But your eyes can’t help darting back to Mingyu.
Later, as the group begins to thin out, people leaving one by one, you make your way to the bar for another drink.
You need something. Anything to steady your nerves. You’re swirling your glass idly when you feel someone slide onto the stool beside you.
“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight,” Mingyu says, his voice low and teasing.
You don’t turn to look at him immediately. “I’m just tired,” you lie.
“Hmm,” he hums, leaning a little closer. You can feel the warmth radiating off him, and it makes your heart race.
“Tired? Or… distracted?”
That gets your attention. You glance at him, and he’s watching you with that playful glint in his eye, like he already knows exactly what’s on your mind.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say, feigning indifference.
“Oh, don’t you?” He grins, and it’s infuriatingly attractive. “You’ve been glaring daggers at poor Mina all night.”
So that’s her name. Mina.
“I wasn’t glaring,” you snap, a little too defensively.
He laughs softly, leaning even closer until his shoulder brushes yours. “You were. And, for the record, it was kind of cute.”
“I wasn’t jealous, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“Really?” His voice drops, and suddenly the air between you feels charged. “Because it looked a lot like jealousy to me.”
You turn to face him fully, ready to argue, but the words catch in your throat when you see the way he’s looking at you—intense, his eyes flicking briefly to your lips before meeting yours again.
“Mingyu,” you start, but your voice comes out softer than you intended.
“Relax,” he says, smirking. “I wasn’t interested in her, anyway.”
Your heart stumbles over itself, and you hate how much that admission makes your pulse race. “You’re insufferable,” you mutter, turning back to your drink.
“Maybe,” he says, his voice warm and teasing, “but you like me anyway.”
The car ride home is quieter than usual. Mingyu insisted on sharing a ride, though you suspect it’s less about convenience and more about prolonging the teasing
As the car pulls up to your apartment, you hesitate for a moment. You should say goodnight and leave it at that.
But when Mingyu’s hand brushes yours as he moves to open the door, your resolve wavers.
“Want to come up?” you ask, your voice casual, though your heart is anything but.
He smiles knowingly. “Thought you’d never ask.”
Your apartment feels smaller with Mingyu in it. The tension that’s been simmering all night seems to boil over as he follows you inside, his eyes lingering on you in a way that makes your stomach flip.
“You know,” he says, his tone teasing but softer now, “if you’re going to get jealous every time someone flirts with me, we might have to renegotiate this whole ‘just friends’ thing.”
“I wasn’t jealous,” you say again, though even you don’t believe it this time.
“Sure,” he says, stepping closer. “Whatever you say.”
You roll your eyes, but before you can come up with a retort, his hand cups your cheek, and suddenly you forget how to speak.
“Mingyu,” you whisper, but he cuts you off with a kiss—soft at first, almost tentative, before it deepens. His other hand finds your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you.
You don’t remember moving, but somehow you end up against the kitchen counter, his lips trailing down your neck as your hands tangle in his hair.
“You’re impossible,” you murmur, though it comes out more like a sigh.
“And yet,” he says, his breath warm against your skin, “you keep me around.”
His lips find yours again, and this time there’s no teasing, no games, just the kind of intensity that leaves you breathless and wondering how you ever thought you could keep this casual.
Later, as you lie tangled together on your couch, his arm draped lazily over your waist, you realize your carefully labeled boxes have completely unraveled.
And maybe, just maybe, you’re okay with that.
It starts at a casual get-together with some of your friends. Mingyu wasn’t supposed to come. You invited him half-jokingly, figuring he’d have better things to do on a Friday night. But to your surprise, he’d shown up, effortlessly sliding into the group as if he’d always been part of it.
And now, you wish he hadn’t.
Not because you’re upset he’s here.
Far from it.
Mingyu has a way of making everything more fun. It’s just that you’re too aware of him, standing across the room, his eyes flicking to you every few seconds like he’s keeping tabs on you.
You’re talking to a guy.
what was his name again? Jae? Jin? Mingyu thought to hinself.
The guy has clearly been angling for your attention all night but you don’t notice. You’re oblivious to the way he leans a little too close when he speaks or the way his hand brushes yours unnecessarily as you reach for your drink.
Mingyu notices, though.
From his spot by the makeshift bar, he’s gripping his glass a little too tightly, his jaw clenched as he watches the scene unfold. He tells himself it’s fine—you’re not his, and he has no right to feel this way. But when Jae-or-whatever laughs a little too loud at something you’ve said, leaning in like he’s about to touch you, something snaps.
Before he knows it, he’s crossing the room.
“Hey,” Mingyu says, his voice smooth but laced with an edge as he steps between you and Jason, casually sliding his arm around your waist. “Didn’t realize you’d made a new friend.”
“Mingyu? What are you doing?” You blink up at him, surprised
“Just thought I’d check in,” he says, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. His gaze shifts to Jason, who suddenly looks less sure of himself. “Who’s this?”
Jason clears his throat. “Uh, I’m Joon. We were just talking.”
“Talking, huh?” Mingyu says, his smile sharp. “That’s nice. But I think she’s good here.”
“Mingyu—” you start, but he’s already steering you away, his hand firm on your lower back.
You glance back at Joon, who’s standing there awkwardly, but Mingyu doesn’t let you linger. He leads you out onto the balcony, where the cool night air hits your skin.
“What the hell was that?” you ask, spinning to face him.
“What was that?” he counters, his voice low and tense. “That guy was all over you.”
“He was not!” you protest. “We were just talking.”
“You’re so oblivious sometimes, you know that? He wasn’t just talking, he was hitting on you.”
You cross your arms, irritation bubbling up. “And what if he was? It’s not like you get to decide who I talk to.”
His jaw tightens, and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything. Then he steps closer, the tension between you crackling like electricity.
“Maybe I don’t,” he says quietly, his voice dangerously calm. “But I didn’t like it.”
Your breath catches. His proximity, the intensity in his gaze—it’s overwhelming
“Why do you even care?” you ask, though your voice is softer now, less sure. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, and suddenly the world feels smaller, like it’s just the two of you on that balcony.
“You really don’t know, do you?”
Your heart pounds as he leans in, his forehead resting against yours
“I care,” he murmurs, his voice rough with something that feels too big to name, “because you’re mine.”
The words hang in the air, heavy and undeniable.
“Mingyu—”
He cuts you off with a kiss, his lips crashing against yours with a desperation that leaves you breathless. It’s not soft or tentative like before—it’s possessive, claiming, as if he’s trying to prove something to both of you.
You don’t resist. Instead, you pull him closer, your fingers fisting in the fabric of his shirt as his hands slide to your waist, gripping you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.
When you finally break apart, both of you breathing hard, he rests his forehead against yours again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know we said no feelings. No strings. But I can’t help it. I can’t stand the thought of anyone else having you.”
Your chest tightens, and for once, you don’t push him away. Instead, you reach up to trace the line of his jaw, your touch soft.
“You’re an idiot,” you say, but there’s no heat in your words. “But I guess you're my idiot.”
His smile is equal parts relief and triumph. “Damn right I am”
Back inside, the party continues without you, but neither of you cares. You end up in your apartment again, the tension between you finally boiling over.
This time, there’s no hesitation, no teasing. Just the two of you giving in to what’s been building for weeks. His hands are everywhere, mapping every inch of your skin like he’s memorizing you, and when you pull him down onto the couch, he follows without question.
“Say it again,” he murmurs against your neck, his voice rough and low as his lips trail downward.
“Say what?” you manage, your breath hitching as his hands slide under your shirt.
“That you’re mine,” he says, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. There’s something vulnerable in his gaze, hidden beneath all the confidence.
You cup his face, your thumb brushing over his cheek. “I’m yours,” you whisper, and the way his expression softens makes your heart ache.
“Good,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “Because I’m yours too.”
And this time, when he kisses you, it feels like a promise.
#story#fic#au#svt#seventeen#svt imagine#svt fluff#svt x y/n#svt scenario#svt reads#seventeen mingyu#seventeen imagine#seventeen scenario#seventeen fic#seventeen au#mingyu imagine#mingyu fic#mingyu au#mingyu fluff#mingyu boyfriend
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need ex hubby rafe and reader lore 😻 i just know he will forever be her man
loveee this ask because the two are so complicated with each other knowing they'll end up together anyways <3
exhusband!rafe and her hadn't even been together that long before they both 'decided' to call it off. only being together for two years prior, and now a year divorced. they both had their own issues which resulted in one specific toxic argument before she's brattily sliding the divorce papers towards him and he's glaring right back at her.
neither of them want the other to sign, but they love playing cat and mouse and challenging each other, it's fun─ with consequences.
he had short temper issues, and she had attitude issues. which one can only imagine how much they clash because she's so spoiled by him, and they're young. which results in another thing..
age difference. it's controversial. she's twenty-five and he's thirty. a year into their marriage she got pregnant, which caused a lot of stress on top of all that.
truth to be told, the two didn't have any specific reason for divorce other than her attitude which was caused by his short and aggressive temper. he'd never physically touched her in any way that's bad, they just caught each other on a really messy minded day.
he'd come home from doing deals allll day with barry, and she'd been home feeling all cranky and upset because she just missed her husband so badly! and as soon as he's entering that door to the house he worked so god damn hard for, she's running her mouth and he's over it all.
and when she threw the engagement ring at him that used to be his mothers, he was floored. hurt, and so confused because he's panicking now and it's all just so messy and she's out within the next week in a house he offered to pay off, all thanks to his real estate cameron business.
yes, he will forever be her man, and her his woman. the two are so attached to each other and can never go within a week without fucking at least once or twice. it's almost every time where she's picking up their kids that he's convincing her to stay the night which ends up with them messily all over each other and practically screaming out the words "i love you" to one other while going at it like some bunnies.
exhubby!rafe is so pussy whipped and the spoiled brat is so dick drunk, the two would never ever think about getting with other people because who else would take care of the other like he and she does?
and it's the way he's always handing her a weekly allowance, paying for her nails, hair, shopping addiction sprees, etc. he pays for everything.. and that has her knowing he's the only guy for her ever.
#rafe cameron smut#rafe obx#rafe x reader#exhusband!rafe#obx rafe cameron#smut#drew starkey#drew starkey smut#ugh they need to get it tg#i love u anon ur a genius
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Finally watched the last episode of Arcane (bad sign that I struggled to get myself to watch it) and I agree with all the thoughts said here. It was quite insane how I felt next to nothing the whole episode! But I'm going to complain specifically about JayVik because I wanted to like their conclusion so much and I just don't :(
So it's been talked about here already but I saw spoilers before watching it about what happens to them and what Jayce says and I was like ??? This doesn't make sense to me but maybe it will when I watch the episode. Surpise surprise, it didn't help at all! My biggest issue is that I never got the sense that Viktor looked down on himself because of his disabilities?? Like he was very confident in his intelligence and his abilities, he just wanted to relish being able to RUN for the first time ever and just wanted to NOT DIE?? So the whole time it was building to him being the big baddie I was like why is he doing this?? He died and came back and just started doing things the plot needed him to and I never knew why?? And then Jayce saying what he does at the end about imperfections being beautiful I'm just like?? That's what all this was about?? Like everyone's been saying, it doesn't work for me I don't think it fits Viktor's character at all.
Another thing that bothers me is the time travel element of it all. I think it's cheap that Jayce got yoinked to a future where everything went bad so he's like oh yeah this is bad we're doing bad we gotta stop. And then Viktor sees the bad future too is like oh yeah well I guess this is bad so we gotta stop. Idk it's just not compelling to me at all and that was the issue of everything, nothing was compelling to me by the end. Things just happened in front of my eyes and I was like sure this might as well be what happens. Everything still looked absolutely stunning but what a bummer.
Welcome to the other side! And YEAH, Viktor was shown to be a totally capable and successful character. He was a genius in his career, he was depicted as attractive to a potential love interest, he had a good friendship with Jayce. The scene in which he runs for the first time is impressive not only because we love Viktor and want him to be healthy, but because that is the moment he finally achieves what he'd set out to do as a child - he healed a Zaunite-specific sort of suffering and found a way to save his people (REPRESENTED BY THE BOAT IN THE BG CALLING BACK TO HIS CHILDHOOD IN THE SLUMS). I never felt like it was his personal vanity project. I'm right there with you on the time travel, time travel my beloathed, everything could have been achieved without it. Thank god for the beautiful visuals keeping us afloat!
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*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you
massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!
She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3
Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!
Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo
But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^
Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):
@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8
@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles
@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva
CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions
Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before
So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now
I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving
besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do
as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse
i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it
this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary
this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection
so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)
I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah
on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with
Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it
having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too
this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't
I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard
Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)
Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3
#thank you again Shay it is very much appreciated#despite all the difficulties#i enjoyed this chapter a lot#and I hope you all do too ^_^#fnaf dca#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#sundrop#moondrop#dca fic#Confused Spirit#x reader
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If you don’t mind me asking, what does your planning process look like for your chapters and what do you write first?? I’m trying to write my own Ybatfam fic rn but I just don’t know what to add to my chapters and really just how to start them.
I love your work, your really the one who inspired me to try writing my own🩵🩵🩵
hii anon !! i'm glad u asked this, though i am no way an expert in writing, i've been doing so for years now and i've learned quite a lot from it. thanks for asking this and i hope this is comprehensive enough 😭
so when it comes to planning for a chapter, or just a one-shot, i always write out what i want to establish within it. ask yourself; what does the chapter center around? would it be the relationships with characters, or the emotions you want to portray, is it angsty or just hurt/comfort? in planning, i write the general gist of what will happen through the entire thing (read: planned fanfics) before i move on to outlining.
and here, outlining helps like a god. i like to separate a chapter into multiple parts, and combine them altogether in the end. so when it comes to outlines, i just write out what i want to write and not the actual dialogue or actions in it (example: in this scene, jason tries to talk it out with you, you fight back and force him to let you out. in the next part, you're of the apartment and near to breaking down, you don't notice two sets of eyes watching over you).
sometimes, if i'm ever stuck i just write in the middle or the end because it helps me establish a flow and the build up.
also, setting the settings, changing the atmospheres, adding parallelism, and using figures of speech (simile, metaphors, personifications, etc. (e.g. conner knows you're perfect, with just how the flowers at the manor sings for your presence or how the beams of sunlight always directs itself at you)) are really helpful for when my writing feels dry or doesn't feel as compelling. it's not always required but it helps adding flowery (but not-so much) words or relating characters into objects with symbolisms to give readers an even deeper insight of who the characters is and why they are like that.
writing for the actual chapter, even starting it is always going to be the hard part. it's like starting an essay, but i suggest treating it like an essay— what do you want to focus on? always remember that the start of a chapter helps set up the mood and pacing of the story, so whether it'd be action packed or something lighthearted, reflect it upon the flow of your words too.
start with an interesting hook, whether it'd be rhetorical questions or digging deep into a character's personality and diving into specifics about it, have key points and expound upon it; and always take note of the atmosphere of how your entire story should be, show it through actions, reactions, gestures and dialogues.
otherwise, i've not much to say but take your time and don't pressure yourself with trying to achieve perfection. i'm pretty much someone who likes to write out my ideas before the actual planning so most of the time i wing most of what i want to write (loving family, unpalatable desire is a product of it) and hope to god that whatever outcome will be decent.
and thank you so much anon for finding me as an inspiration 🥹 it's unbelievable, the amount of support i mean— and if you ever do wish to post your own fic and feel doubtful of it still, you can always also chat me through my chatbox here in tumblr since it's pretty much open for anyone.
#🍨... yael's talking#this has become a long ramble but i'm gwenchana#again i am no expert. just a yapper#i hope that whoever does read this actually does understand whatever im typing through my sleep-deprived state#anyways love u all for the support
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Need some opinions/help
TLDR; In October, in a somewhat impulsive decision, I started worshipping Athena and Hermes. I am having doubts and feelings of inadequacy due to not being as invested as some other people. Does all of this mean I should leave the religion or stop for the time being?
I am quite new to hellenic polytheism. I've always had an interest in polytheistic religions, occasionally doing some research but never really doing it heavily. I knew the very very basics of hellenic polytheism, since a friend of mine practices. In the beginning of October, I had a slight breakdown. I have been struggling with school a lot and was feeling completely lost and abandoned by most people in my life, so I did what looking back on it was a rush decision. I made an altar for Athena and prayed (more like begged, I'll be honest) for some kind of help. I made a small offering based on what I knew and that was that. It wasn't a completely unexpected decision, since I had been thinking about it for a while.
Well, it worked. I did quite well on my upcoming test and felt calmer in general. I decided to make a small altar for Hermes too and do more research. For the past few months, I have thus been trying to do as much research as I can, pray and make offerings based on what I know the best I can. However, recently I've been having some doubts.
I feel out of my depth and overwhelmed. I've never been religious, nor has my family ever been religious. Every time I try to research more, I feel overwhelmed and tear up with all the new facts and seeming rules. Things are contradicting each other and I have no one to check with because my friend is also pretty new and we're not very close. I feel as if I'm constantly messing up. A lot of the practices relies on instinct and reading between the lines. I have anxiety and I'm autistic so these two places are my weaknesses, in some cases even impossible for me without direct guidance. I'm confused on so many concepts that everybody else seems to find obvious.
I feel inadequate. Everybody I have seen talking about the religion seems really fully into it and devoted to it (something that I think is amazing and wonderful) but I feel like that cannot be applied to me. I feel like I somehow don't believe/love the Gods as much as others. I don't want religion to take up a big part of my life, at least not as I am currently. Additionally, I don't have much free time or energy in general, so I am not able to make offerings and pray properly every day. I also struggle with intrusive thoughts, which makes prayer and worship extra hard. However, I do love the Gods and the thought of taking down their altars and just stopping makes my heart squeeze. But then again, I don't feel as close to them as a lot of people I have seen, tho that might be a time issue. Part of me is definitely stopping me from getting closer to them by constantly saying how ridiculous I look trying to 'bond' with them. I want religion to be a casual facet of my life, to be able to make a weekly offering and pray once a day maybe without much worry or anxiety, to learn about the religion and Gods more and more.
I feel upset and stressed about this whole situation. I don't want to stop but part of me feels like I am being constantly disrespectful. A small part of me also feels like I have somehow offended Athena specifically. I also am hesitating stepping back, lest I upset kharis, if somehow I've managed to establish it with my flaky track record. I want honest, hard opinions and advice. Am I simply not cut out for this? Is this just a beginners rut sort of deal I need to power through? Did anybody else feel like this? How did you deal with it?
I am sorry if anything is unclear. Writing this made me quite emotional and my thoughts are all over the place. If I haven't mentioned a crucial detail or something, please ask and I'll happily respond and give more details on some things. Thank you in advance, χαίρε.
#hellenic polytheism#helpol#greek gods#hellenic worship#hellenic community#hellenic gods#hellenic deities#beginner helpol
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8, 26 and 69 with taesan ? thank you sm !!
a/n: i hope this is good... tbh i feel like this has to be fleshed out into a proper story, so i might do that! here is the full list to request your own prompt x member! wc: 0.38k contains: dom!taesan x sub!reader, situationship, reader is fem bodied and has a girly style (and taesan likes it), degradation (slut), fingering
"taesan, i'm here! do you want to eat now or after you're done?"
"not now, just come in. i'm almost done."
you knew the password to this locked studio, although he leaves it unlocked for you usually. it wasn't the first time you came with food, knowing how he gets when he is really into finishing a song he's been working on. tonight was a little different tho. you came wearing your best (and shortest) dress, one that taesan had said he liked on you previously.
taking one look at you was all he needed to get riled up, undressing you with his eyes before you could even sit on his couch and get comfortable. "my god, you’re so fucking gorgeous like this." he says walking over to where you’re sitting.
“mm and are you gonna do something about it?” you chuckle as he nods and covers you with his body, his hand already reaching under your dress for your boob. you reach your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss that he quickly takes over, his other hand stabilizing himself against the back of the couch so he doesn’t crush you.
“you’re dressed like a doll. i just want to eat you up and have you begging for me, my slut.”
your whimpers against his lips were the sign for him to continue exploring your body. the dress got in the way of his large hands comfortably roaming your body but he couldn’t bring himself to undress you when you looked like such a darling.
his lips nipped at your exposed neck all while he brought his hand down to your soaking panties, taking them off of you and immediately getting to work. "admit it — you want this as much as i do."
frantic nods and your hands pulling at his hair had him groaning and smirking at your reactions. he barely got started and you’re already such a wreck for him. he knew he could have his way with you any time because you would let him use you whenever.
your desperate moans and breathing filled the room that was once filled the repetitive chorus of a new song he had come up with.
"only I get to ruin you like this, you hear me?"
“then make me yours already.”
#yeah definitely gonna make this longer#consider this a teaser for a future work teehee#boynextdoor smut#taesan hard hours#bnd x reader#bnd smut#taesan hard thoughts#taesan smut#taesan x reader#han taesan#ilysh taesan#taesan#ilysh writes#ilysungho#ilysh prompts
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Hello there! I've just come from ao3 and I've spent basically the entirety of the last two days reading the entirety of TTSBC, *inhale* AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH OH MY GOSH YOU'RE AN INCREDIBLE WRITER YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I'VE ENJOYED READING THIS AND ALSO THERE'S SO MUCH OF IT!!!
Seriously the fact that you manage to write so much and so well is incredibly impressive and I really admire you for it
Also I don't know how to bring across how much I LOVE your worldbuilding. It's one of my favourite things to pick up on as a story progresses, and the world you've created is so vivid and facinating and beautiful
Also I feel the need to grumble a teensy tiny bit about the cliffhanger with Grian- sorry, CuteGuy- getting injured becuase that was evil. I mean he was shot?? By whom??? It's probably thanks to that new head of Council (what was his name?)
Literally obsessed with Flower Husbands btw, their relationship is so sweet, and I've loved watching them progress from pining crushes to early relationship and having to work around the things that they don't know/understand to living together and slowly working out their issues (excited to see Scott's skeletons being tackled more btw) and being so cute and the poppy earrings and the trip to the undercity and the constant reassurances and- *wails distantly* It's so good.
And while we're in a ranting mood, how about Treebark and how Martyn (mirroring Scott) wanted more but didn't pressure Ren with anything because he understood he needed time and also (again mirroring Scott) decided he wanted to put the dagger down and give Ren all the roses. How he tried so hard to keep it together when he literally stumbled across the undercity and spontaneously had to (didn't technically, he chose to) go through the whole "meeting the (terrifying) family thing" because it was important to Ren. How Ren's first instinct was to protect him, even though he really didn't know how Martyn would react, and he was so scared it would be bad, and-
Or I could ramble on about Doc and Etho and how beautiful their relationship is, with all the crazy things they manage and do from day-to-day, and their darling Pesky Birds and Little Spark. There's a very unique feeling I get when I read how their early days in the depths were, it's so heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time, and I can't help but love it.
Or I could give you a paragraph about Grian and Scar and how their secrets and double lives unravelled, albeit messily in places, and how now there's just love, even though they haven't said it out loud (ahem, evil, evil cliffhanger) yet, and working around their differences and struggles, and cookies, and the coffee that Scar makes them in the mornings, and the shiny three-ringed binder, and-
I could go on about the under-city, this world under the surface, both dangerous and beautiful. Or Grian, Pearl and Jimmy and how much they mean to each other, absolute chaos and unwavering support. Or our wonderful, loving, chaotic family of six (yes, six, Tango for the love of god you're part of it too even if your relationship with them looks different), Tango and Zed and their issues that they probably really need get sorting out, Cleo and Bdubs (gods that one where they met healed and broke me in equal measure), the Empires Family (they're so dear to me), Nature Wives(I loved how they met), etc, etc, etc.
I could keep going, but I won't in this already super long ask (sorry about that by the way, wasn't really intended). I may rant in the future, if you'd like to hear it
Needless to say, the brainrot has gotten to me and I'd like it to stay please and thank you.
Sorry again for how incredibly long this turned out to be, but I hope it fulfills it's purpose and brings you joy <3 Have a good timezone!
Oh my stars thank you thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy my work so much I love the rambles! It's always so cool to me to see what parts of my stories stand out to people! Please never apologize for the rambles!!!
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