#than its clear they arent born super frequently

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

i keep thinking about chronica. like it makes sense that earth has their own plants who’d come with them to stop knives & whatever but the fact that domina presumably died means that she & vash could be the only plants on the planet now which has got to feel weird for the both of them. imagine spending like 150 years where you & your brother are the only ones of your species & then this woman comes along & tries to kill him & loses a friend in the process & now you’re like. it for the species. like there’s def more on earth but that’s not my point. chronica probably knows a lot about plants bc it has been like 150 years & one would assume in that time a lot has been learned about their species but also considering vash was like. one of the first & also spent basically his entire life on a different planet they’re probably completely different in some aspects but rn im just like. imagine your entire view of your species is you, your brother, & some lady you met 150 years later. there is no way that would not rock your world a bit

[nonasidesstuff]

the dimension travel au

aka Virgil’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

so this is like half bullet fic half outline half word vomit but here it is!

this is based on a set of art drawn by @greenninjagal-blog that you can find here with the original version of this au

i dont mind if anyone wants to use any of these ideas just tag me/send me a link if you do!

this got SUPER LONG so its going under a cut

ok lets start with

virgil

his world is medieval-with-magic

the magic here tends to take on different elemental forms depending on the user

people who use magic are called witches

his is storm based (lightning, rain, wind, etc) and is good for both offense (shooting fucking LIGHTNING at someone is great in a fight) and gardening (the ability to call rain at will is pretty nice)

he can also make potions but in his world ANYONE with magic can make potions

the thing is,,,,, magic is illegal in the kingdom he lives in

so when he found out he had magic at like age 11 he fucked off in the middle of the night

he found another witch (a water witch) fairly soon after he left and they taught him how to control his powers and how to make potions

also how to hunt bc hed planned on living out of cities

5 years later hes 16 and has learned all he could and leaves to go to the woods in the middle of nowhere

his teacher had told him about a cottage they had built in a clearing in the woods and said he could go there bc they were leaving the kingdom

they left behind a lot of books on magic and he learned more reading those

the cottage was actually in pretty good shape? the roof was a little leaky but the furniture inside was fine

the outside was a nightmare though. overgrown plants all over

as the years went on he restored the area around the cottage and found a bunch of neat stuff

like a vegetable garden that had been overgrown and wild but still had healthy plants he could cultivate for food. there were also some spice plants that had gone out of control that he harvested and dried for later use

he found out the woods around his home were full of berries (wild strawberries and blackberries. shhhhhh idc if they dont grow in the same places this is a Magic World) and discovered that one of the trees in the clearing was actually an apple tree so yay fruit!!!!

so he was living the good life

cut to 3 years later

hes 19 now and a full-blown weather witch and potion maker

he has sectioned off his garden into 3 parts: spices, vegetables, and potions ingredients

unfortunately some ingredients just wont grow well in a garden and have to be harvested from the wild

virgil realizes hes running low on a couple of said ingredients and decides to make a run to the patches of potion herbs he knows of

he only gets halfway there

a swirling blue-and-yellow vortex opens up 20 feet in the air to the right of him and something falls out

something human shaped

holy shit its a PERSON

he rushes over to make sure this person is okay and.

they have reddish brown fox ears?????

and a reddish brown and grey tail????????

he pokes one of the ears and it twitches

holy shit theyre REAL????!!!!!!!!!

he gathers up this person and takes them home

he puts the strange person in his bed and tends to the minor injuries they obtained from falling 20 feet

this is when he realizes that this person is dressed,,,,,, very strangely

now, people in virgil’s world have some freedom in what they can wear. they can wear whatever the FUCK they want. virgil is partial to dresses and skirts himself

but what this person is wearing is different. the material was like nothing hed ever seen before and in a strange style

(it suits him. its really cute)

he slept for a little over 9 hours

(virgil slept on the floor)

and when he woke he was disoriented and woozy

so he ate a small meal and drank some water and fell back to sleep for another couple hours

when he wakes again, he feels much better and is able to introduce himself

“I’m Patton Baker! Where am I?”

patton

his world is like if you took every single magical girl/boy anime out there and mashed it into one world.

so its chaotic

theres aliens/demons/monsters attacking every other week

this attracts magical creatures like a magnet and they start giving magical girls/boys powers. these are called magical guardians

these people are public figures and are treated the same way idols are in our world (not allowed boyfriends/girlfriends etc)

its a tough job

patton became a magical boy when he was 14 and has been for the past 3 years

the powers his magical guardian are able to give are based off of endangered or threatened animals (yes im sort of copying tokyo mew mew shhhhhhhhhh)

patton became infused with the dna of the island fox

his transformation is triggered by a small tattoo-like marking given to him by his guardian. it’s on the base of his neck

he Absolutely has a magical girl transformation

when he’s transformed, he has the ears and tail of an island fox as well as claw-like nails. his hair is the reddish-brown of the fox and his eyes are silver

his outfit is light blue with silver and white accents and dark blue sleeves

when detransformed he has blond hair and blue eyes

his magical boy weapon is a bow that he can shoot arrows of light from

his group was based out of florida and has been going strong for about 15 years. magical teens come and go as they gain their powers and retire or, tragically, lose their lives fighting

at the moment there are six people including patton

their most recent foe is a monster that has the ability to make people and things disappear, and they’re not sure what happens to them

theyre fighting this thing at night when it happens. the creature has already taken the streetlights out and the teens are fighting in heavy darkness. patton, who has better night vision due to his fox genes, sees the monster about to grab the leader, and strongest, of their group

and he makes a choice

he pushes her out of the way and gets grabbed by the monster instead.

there’s a single moment of searing pain and then the world dissolves into swirling lights and dizziness

when he wakes he’s in a strange house. he introduces himself and the person who’s taking care of him introduces himself

he’s told he fell out of some sort of portal and virgil tries to help him figure out where he is in relation to his home but. virgil doesnt recognize any of the places patton is talking about. and patton doesnt recognize any of the ones virgil says

virgil asks patton about the fact that He Is Part Fox and patton talks about the magical system back home and thats when they realize theyre dealing with dimension travel

patton stays in bed for the rest of the day and by the next hes feeling much better! so he helps virgil around the house and they get to know each other

the day after that, virgil remembers that he really needs those herbs, so he tells pat hes going out for a bit to gather them

he gets about a quarter of the way there when Another Portal Opens and dumps out a person. this time right in front of him

this person is also wearing odd

clothing, but in a different style than pattons

he checks to make sure theyre not injured (they knocked their head a bit but other than that seem fine) and carries them back home

the person is unconscious in virgil’s bed for a couple of hours longer than patton was, but he wakes up entirely coherent

he introduces himself as “logan croft”

logan

his world is one full of magic

magical creatures of all sorts live there and magic is a welcome part of society

there’s elves, fairies, merfolk, unicorns, any you can think of

magical schools are also big parts of it

people who have mastered their magic to the highest degree are called mages

everyone else are called wizards

the way magic works in this world is with spells (think harry potter but without wands)

some people are born with more magic than others and as such have a harder time controlling it when it manifests at around 10

so theyre sent to magic schools where they learn how to safely do so

if they want to stay at these schools after they learn control then they move on to higher forms of magical education to continue learning

logan is one of these students

he was born with a MASSIVE amount of magic and when it manifested he. accidentally leveled his house

everyone was fine!!!!!!! but the poor boy had absolutely no control

so he stayed at a school for people with high amounts of magic and by the time he was 13 he had enough control to leave if he wanted to

of course this being logan he Absolutely wanted to keep learning so he moved on

he was so good actually that he ended up in the best magic academy in the world

he consistently learned magic at a faster rate than his peers and so by the time he was 18 (people normally didnt until they were like 21/22) he was a mage in all but name

so he was ready to take his mage exam

the mage exam is considered both easy and the hardest and most dangerous thing you could do

its easy in the fact that you only have to cast a spell correctly

its hard and dangerous bc its a spell that NO ONE outside of historians have ever seen before and you only have 10 minutes to memorize it. things go wrong Frequently

needless to say there arent many mages and people tend to either quit before reaching that stage or fail

and failure can be painful

so logan decides to take the mage exam

the spell they are given is a long string of words dug out of an ancient book of spells and historians arent entirely sure what it does

so ofc its given to the best in the academy

logan takes his ten minutes to memorize the spell and begins chanting

now in this world, when spells are used a runic circle made of light appears under the person casting

small spells have small circles and bigger spells have larger and brighter ones

the one this spell called forwards was massive and so bright that it blinded the exam practitioners (i think thats the word?)

when the light died down logan was gone

theyre unsure whether it went right or wrong but unfortunately theres no trace of where logan had gone so theres no way to see

when he wakes hes somewhere he doesnt recognize and is being taken care of by two people

they all introduce themselves and logan gets the story about what happened to him

and he realizes hes in a different dimension with different magical rules

naturally he wants to learn everything

so he and virgil have long discussions about the differences in their magic systems

(with patton chiming in every once in a while with how bonkers magical girl powers are)

after logan gets back on his feet virgil really REALLY needs those herbs and so he decides to go back out

logan tags along this time bc he wants to see the differences between the flora and fauna of this new world

they get about half way there and once again.

a portal opens

its light blue and yellow

virgil goes “jesus christ AGAIN??????? am i a MAGNET for these things??????????”

and a person falls out

theyre another animal person. this time with scales covering the side of their face and down their arms

virgil and logan carry this whole other person back home and as soon as they walk in

patton is like “janus????!!!!!”

janus

turns out

janus is from pat’s world!!!! and the same mg group!!!!!

he became a magical boy about a year before pat did and was merged with the dna of a golden lancehead viper

so hes been a mg for like 4 years

his outfit is white with yellow bows and a black cape thing with a yellow inside. his scales are bright yellow and his eyes are heterochromatic. one is a normal eye (brown) and the other is a bright gold color with a snake-like pupil

his marking is on the inside of his left wrist

his weapon is a set of knives made of light that he can call at will and either slash with or throw

he and patton got along rather well in the current time

in the past, they,,,, didnt

it wasnt violent but they were kinda snippy at each other and janus was aggressively sarcastic which pat Did Not Appreciate

but after working together for a few years they got to know each other better and saw each other through low points in their lives and became close

janus was still a sarcastic little shit but now its more playful

he likes to suggest “pushing it down a flight of stairs” for any problem

“man i have a big math test tomorrow with a mean teacher that i didnt study for im screwed”

“push it down the stairs”

“the teacher or the test?”

“yes”

he will also aggressively remind you that Self Care Is Good And Needed

(“patton youve been patrolling for hours every night this week. go sleep”

“but i-“

“go 👏 to 👏 sleep 👏”

“bu-“

“go sleep or im going to knock you unconscious and THEN youll sleep”

“ok fine”)

anyways the dimension monster came back and despite the whole group being more careful, it got janus

luckily (to every one else) this time they managed to defeat it

once again, the pain of dimensional travel fucking SUCKED and janus was unconscious for about as long as patton was

he woke and ate a small meal and fell back asleep for like an hour

when he woke up that time he was shocked and happy to see patton

they reunite and everyone gets to know each other over the next couple days

and then virgil remembers that he STILL HASNT GOTTEN HIS HERBS and they all decide to tag along when he leaves to get them

virgil just like sighs and said “nothing better happen this time i swear to god-“

and they make it most of the way there!!!!! virgil feels a little hope!!!!

then another portal opens

its red and green

(virgil: “GODDAMMIT”)

this time TWO people fall out

the group gather up the two portal people and take them home to heal bc

holy shit they are in bad condition

theyre unconscious for a solid 2 days

Roman and remus

their world is BAD yall

the world is very scientifically advanced, and a group if scientists decided that they wanted to prove the existence of alternate universes

and they did!

but they accidentally opened a portal to a hell dimension and they couldnt close it

so the whole world became an apocalyptic nightmare

this happened when the twins were 15

theyve been surviving on their own in an apocalyptic hellscape for just over 4 years now

remus is the close range fighter with a variety of Large Sharp Knives and roman hangs back and snipes the ones going in for remus’ blind spots with a modified rifle. or if he has to fight closer range he has a modified pistol

roman also is the one to carry their medical supplies bc remus did Once and never will again

they travel together bc even though they cant stand each other some days (remus makes gross comments a Lot and roman likes to complain about the lack of conditioner)

(roman once found an old bottle of perfume and dumped it on remus’ head. in retaliation, when they were relatively safe remus found a dead squirrel and chased roman around with it for a solid 15 minutes)

theyre still twins and theyre all each other have left

currently, roman and remus are running from a creature that caught them off guard while they were sleeping

it had managed to get a few good hits on them before they managed to fight back so they both have a couple injuries

roman has a long slice down his arm and remus has some real bad claw marks down his back

the two of them find a building they can hide in while they wait for the creature to move on and discover that its some sort of science lab

they decide to explore for a bit bc they have 0 braincells between the two of them

what they dont realize is that this is one of the labs that the scientists were using to build their dimensional machines

what they do realize is that the monster found them and it starts chasing them through the facility

the two of them are in really bad shape

malnourished after living on just what they can find for 4 years, both bleeding profusely from open wounds and various injuries from other run-ins with the creatures

they arent able to run as fast as they usually are able and so they get cornered in a room with a large machine

they back up to it to stay away as long as they can and

one of them presses a button

the machine behind them whirrs to life and the two are sucked into a portal oh so similar to the one that ruined the lives of everyone on their world

roman wakes first

he wasnt hurt as badly as remus so the portal didnt take as much out of him as remus

everyone introduces themselves and roman has the his first full meal in. a long time

(he might cry a lil bit but shhhhhhh)

and now that hes awake, virgil can give him a potion to help speed up his healing

thats when romans like “holy shit MAGIC?????”

bc there was none on his world

and they all talk and get to know each other

(the other four are Horrified at how awful his world was

bc like, patton and janus’ wasnt very good either but it wasnt an apocalypse

the next day virgil leaves logan in charge and FINALLY goes and gets his GODDAMN HERBS

nothing happens this time :)

and when he gets back remus is awake

hes fed and virgil gets him a potion too

the two heal and just kind of marvel at the fact theyre safe for the first time in years

also that theres GODDAMN MAGIC!!!!!!!!!!

they still can’t believe theres actual magic

the five dimension hoppers eventually meet thomas, virgil’s talking magic cat

(virgil: “he can think and talk like a human hes not my cat”

thomas: “im totally your cat stop denying it”)

he decided to wander around the forest for a while (he does this often) and only got back after all of the portal shit ended

he is the only cat with magic and says he ALSO fell out of a portal but it was a few years before he met virgil

i dont really know what happens after this

maybe they go try to figure out how to get home?

maybe they decide to stay and live in the woods for the rest of their lives

 maybe they decide “you know what? FUCK the government” and stage a coup to make magic legal

 whichever it is definitely has a lot of found family goodness

can you tell i started running out of steam like 3/4 of the way through

[theflowersofdoom]

gonna talk about my spooky side account lore bc its unabashedly my favorite

sam and his sibling max lost their parents to to the bringer when they were really young. they were freed from terror mountain when the hannah thing went down. sam had trouble adjusting and stayed in terror mountain for awhile while max eagerly went out into world. the two kept in constant contact, until max suddenly stopped replying after he traveled to the haunted woods. sam decided to leave for the haunted woods to look for his sibling, and had a pretty terrifying time of it until he met lonnie

lonnie is a ne’er-do-well grave robber squatting in an abandoned house in the middle of the haunted woods. he found a very afraid and confused sam stumbling around and took him in with the intention of using him to help in illegal activities. sam, being cut off form the world for 10000 yrs and being generally too trusting, enthusiastically goes along with him. the two run around causing trouble and eventually lonnie finds himself actually CARING about this  sweet bori

paix was born to a terrestrial aisha and alien aisha couple and was raised exclusively on the virupets space station. her childhood had a backdrop of constant and oppressive paranoia of sloth. her family had several connections with the resistance and as a result knew several ppl who either disappeared or were seriously negatively effected by the sloth empire. she even lived through the sloth takeover of virtupets, which while thankfully was relatively uneventful on the part of the station her family lived in, it was still pretty terrifying for 10-or-smth yr old. while all this died down when paix grow up to adult, her parents were still very protective, not allowing paix or her little sister to travel unsupervised and helicoptered pretty bad. paix prided her self in being very level headed, but then one of her only friends disappeared while tracking down a sloth aligned organization and is presumed dead, paix is absolutely devastated, and in the months following his disappearance she quietly takes a small, former resistance ship from a family friend. she intended on flying it to neo central and parking it somewhere visible where the authorities would find it and return it with her apology note sitting in the seat of the cockpit, meanwhile shes in faerieland or mystery island, she doesnt know where just anywhere she’ll figure it out when she gets there. 

what ACTUALLY happened was a little more dramatic than she intended

paix initially and rightfully doesnt trust lonnie much, but he IS nice enough to let her stay at his house after she  crashed into his back yard  (is this even his house? i looks like its been run down for a while). sam was amazed in meeting a real alien and paix liked him well enough, hes a very kind guy, but still the whole situation was suspect

she probably wouldnt have stayed for long if lonnie hadnt up and died on them

paix suspected murder, from what sam says lonnie wasnt the most liked person around, but its not like theres any laws this is the haunted woods. as far as sam knows lonnie doesnt have any family, he thinks once there was a sister mentioned but he didnt even get a first name. the only family sam had left was a missing sibling he had been trying to find for a year now. so paix helps sam bury him in the back yard

paix takes on a lot of the responsibilities, like get food and telling people that lonnie is in fact dead, he wont be bothering you anymore. she even starts helping sam in his attempts to track down his sibling (shes not super optimistic but its not like shes going to tell sam that). 

at first paix thinks that sam is just very, VERY upset. he hasnt been very tired and acting a little strange, but his friend just died in front of him, its not like she has any room to judge. but as time goes on, things seem increasingly off. theres breif moments where sam seems to be his old self, but more and more he seems confused. paix finds him standing in the middle of the hall, staring at the wall. theres times where sam doesnt remember where hes been or what he was doing just moments ago. paix goes to the attic to get sam, finding no one, only to remember that sam is asleep in the in the living room, and when she goes back down staris of course hes still there, passed out on the couch like he has been all day, why was she so sure there was someone in the attic

when it becomes clear that lonnies been possessing sam, paix has a weird mix of terror and relief, though its drowned out by how PISSED she is at lonnie. she yells at him in portuguese for WHILE before he explains that he really wasnt trying to hurt sam or steal his body or anything else paix is accusing him of, hes been trapped in the ghost zone since he died and nothing he did could get their attention (he had gotten SO CLOSE with paix, she seemed to almost hear him. paix remembers all the times she felt she was being watch or heard someone screaming and just shrugged it off as a side effect of the haunted woods) 

paix could absolutely kill him AGAIN when he goes on to explain that hes now stuck in sams body. she begrudgingly agrees to help lonnie not be stuck, using a ritual from one of the weird creepy books littered around the house. it works and paix is incredibly relieved to find that sam is alright, but then immediately un-relieved to feel someone standing behind her and turned around to find lonnies spooky ghost standing there, menacingly 

the tension was immediately broken as sam  scrambled up screaming YOURE ALIVE and attempting to tackle-hug lonnie only to go through him and crash into the wall

and after paix gives lonnie a peice of her mind and lonnie profusely apologizes to both her and sam, things fall back into normality. paix and sam have found ways to make a living without doing anything illegal. lonnie is somewhat weirder as a ghost, hes taken a liking to scaring the heck out of ppl and is back to being a menace, but he seems to be more sincere with sam and paix at least 

zaf generally doesnt like photos, meko probably caught them by surprise 

zaf was a unfortunate victim of one of the many sloth-aligned splinter groups, and while they have made an amazing recovery, they remember nothing before waking up in the hospital. they were told that they had been kidnapped and eventually were found and taken in by authorities before being treated and successfully reverted to the physiology of an average mutant kacheek. zaf knows theres more to the story that authorities and their friends arent telling them, and has vague memories, but zaf isnt sure if they want to remember them. they were told by their friends that they had been a zafara before, that they were kind and generous and everyone was devastated when they went missing. zaf, surrounded by people that they cant remember, felt incredibly guilty. they hear stories about themself that they cant remember or even relate to. they ask for descriptions of themself that dont feel like them, least not anymore. zaf looks at pictures of this person that doesnt even look like them, and they cant help but feel like that person isnt here anymore.

zaf distances themself and eventually leaves neo central, taking a job at a hotel in the haunted woods. they have trouble finding a place to stay, and on their way to look at yet another apartment, they mistakenly knock on the door of a spotted bori who has THE friendliest face theyve seen since they moved to the woods

the two talk until its dark out and sam insists they stay the night bc its not safe to be out are you kidding me its the haunted woods. paix, given her past, is suspicious before zaf mentions what happened to them and she straight up offers for them to stay indefinitely (good thing too bc sam was pretty confident the place they had been on their way to see was a scheme to murder people, which seemed way more alarming to zaf than it did sam)

it takes 3 days for zaf to meet lonnie bc hes busy being an ass, slamming doors and leaving creepy messages in the mirror, culminating into jump-scaring zaf in the hallway at 3 in the morning. paix had tried to warn them but its still a spooky ghost in your apartment. sam mentioned that lonnies body was buried in the back yard and zaf looked like they were about to cry. just two sweet kids living in a dilapidated old house thats haunted by their dead friend, whose body they had bury in the back

zaf seems to be the only one concerned about the skulls in the living room, and the strange books, all of which, at least the ones zaf can make sense of, contain what appears to be spells. they mentioned where they lived to their boss and some coworkers and all hell broke loose and zaf had to leave the premises. paix apologized and said that lonnie had a reputation with the hotel staff and it kind of extended to everyone esle in the house. lonnie zipped through the ceiling and stated that they had ALWAYS had it out for him even BEFORE he stole that golf cart and the two start up another argument and the initial point is lost. 

but even months afterward, zaf cant forget the the moment of panic in their former boss’s eyes when they mentioned the house

mini is a witch living in the woods. sam and the gang think shes their neighbor, but no one is really sure where she lives. she comes by the house every now and then. sam, paix, and zaf have invited her in but always stated that she cant come in. has started to come around more frequently after zaf showed her one of the book they had found, wondering if she could make any sense of it. usually cryptic mini straight up said it was incredibly dangerous in the wrong hands. the two have since working through the books to see if any of more of them had spell theorems that could ‘potentially warp the fabric of reality’ as mini had put it

[harryseyebrows]

Mpreg gryles does Harry have any weird cravings and is he like super horny all the time or more don't ever touch me? Does he go through phases? How is the birth? easy or is he in labor for days? Does nick ever have a am I too old or am I really ready to be dad to a tiny baby crisis?

pickles with grape jam. he eats almost exclusively cheese+chicken quesadillas for a week straight. and he wants to put honey mustard on everythinggg. like… everything. ice cream. cookies. pasta. you name it. nick has to physically turn away sometimes when he sees harry eating something weird. 

harry mostly feels very nauseous during the first trimester, so sex isnt super frequent. during the second trimester, things level out a bit in terms of morning sickness and other not-pleasant symptoms, but then he starts to show more and more, so he feels more awkward and fumbly than usual. not to mention, his body is changing, and while nick can tell him 30 times that he finds harrys pregnant body just as attractive, if not more than usual, it really doesnt make much of a difference because he still feels huge and bloated. still, things are mostly good. all the hormones and other bodily changes make sex interesting, and harry claims that he feels a lot more sensitive than usual and that orgasms feel slightly better. though, there is the added caveat that sometimes the increased sensitivity is a bit Too Much, to the point where stimulation can be uncomfortable and turning the corner to actual pain. but thats not the norm for them. by the third trimester, harry is very much ‘dont touch me dont look at me come near me with that things and i’ll cut it off’ which nick finds to be very fair. 

for the birth, i think things go pretty straightforward. labor is decently long, but its like that for most first time parents. harry opts for no drugs or aids, so he’s definitely in quite a bit of pain, but he manages somehow, even though nick worries at one point that harry is going to in fact, split in half. im thinking water birth, or at the very least, a birth where they can make full use of a tub. theres that nice hospital that an anon mentioned, the portland in london, that has rooms that have those birthing pools in them in addition to a regular hospital bed and all the other important medical equipment. baby is born, gets checked out by a doctor right away, and they take him home as soon as he and harry are cleared. 

nick goes through both of those things. at first its’ an ‘oh god im FAR too old for this’ and then its ‘oh shit we created a tiny human…. im gonna be a DAD’ but he has harry to talk him down from the ledge. harry is mostly very zen about everything, and nick kinda marvels at him, wishing that he could just dip into harrys little weirdo brain and scoop some of it out for himself, because he’s very Worried™ through the entire process, reading a gazillion books and going online and doing research on which nursery colors are the most conductive for good newborn health and happiness. and then he has harry swanning about the house in minimal clothing all the time because ‘the baby is making all of my blood run hotter’ which surely isnt a real thing but nick will let him have it, except harry is insistent on doing yoga and biking and is bending with your leg over your head like that okay for the baby? arent you gonna squish them? he’s okay in the end though, because once the baby is actually born, he gets to worry about making sure that his head is absolutely well supported and that no one with a singular germ on their body touches or comes near him, not to mention waking up 6 times a night to make sure he’s still breathing in his little boutique baby bassinet 

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

Lmao I have to ask if you've heard JonTron's interview with Destiny on YouTube holy shit this guy

omg

ive had a number of asks like this on top of a posting backlog i want to get to.. i mean

fUCK

OK so i went to check it out and:

this horsehit is 2 hours long…

i was gluing manga to a wall and cutting out lil jebs and gabs to hide on it while i listened to it because fuck (below is the cut out sheet i made lol)

so i had my email open to write notes for later and this is what i wrote, no fixes or anything:

destiny is wrong -> 14 mins -14:30

both dumb at 16 mins for the commies and nazis statement. destiny is compared to commies for noooo reason?? I dont think destiny is backed up by communists???? as a bizarre kneejerk TU QUO QUe when jon tron is thrown a guilt by association argument from destiny because of the neo nazi followers of his. destiny says nazism is a race ideology while communism is an economic thing, i cant wrap my miand  around thisis. he has no idea what hes talking about. jon tron dumb cant adequently adders it either

none of them are using gaslighting right

jon tron loves saying tribalism

at 18:40 desitiny is ignorant as fuck with regards to riots. because he hasnt heard about it, therefore it doesnt exist, which is is about one of the most frustrating fucking things about this shitty clusterfuck of a debate besides jon tron asserting random made up facts and imploring destiny to look it up. Jon tron laughs and references the boiling frog analogy fittingly. Jon tron continues to bring in international examples while dentiny tries to reel it back to the USA and the USA alone. This is annoying on two fronts:

1. Jontron is merely refering to situations rather than go in depth, such as compare tibet to “displacing white perople” when what ttibet is experiencing is hardly comparable to american white flight since the chinese are engaging in conquest/imperialism/ethnic cleansing and the west just simply isnt replacing their own population enough on their own for their corporate overlords tastes, so immigration fills the economic growth hole for better or for worse in their super simplified concept of economy (see: economies stop growing when ethnic civil strife brings it to ruin). but destiny doesnt have a clue what happens outside of his boiases. ;et alone the country, to even call him out, howeever when destiny has the proper misinformation, he will assert things like how japan is dying off or worse off for its homogenity without backing up his argument as well. which is a sign of liberals generally being ignorant to world issues unless their favoured media makes it a big deal ie with japan needing immigration. It’s clear both jon tron and destiny are parroting shit in hilariously broken, scatter shot fasihion

destiny thinks america is the most diverse country in the world, which is fucking wrong. Both of these asshoelss are throwing out garbage statements that are flat wrong that benefit their respective close minded, unresearched biases. Niether of them know any better so they cant even properly dismantle eachother’s argument. Clearly jon tron, nor destiny showed up to the debate with notes or preparation, which is a given considering they are both hot headed gamer shithead youtuber Know-It-Alls becuase they heard something in passing before and just throw out the garbled memory of that soething in debate.

jon tron thinks white people are more libertarian?? for some reason? destiny throws out a garbled statement akin to that MY THING WAS MADE IN THIS COUNTRY WHICH HAD PARTS IN THAT COUNTRY DESIGNED BY THAT COUNTRY YADDA YADDA DIVERSITY IS AMAZING when all these components werent built by americans but by different nation states engaging with others/.

at 37 minutes jontron says rich blacks commit more crime than whites, with no source but smugly tells destiny to look it up, confounding the shit out of destiny and the chatroom becuase hes put the burden of researching a fact that doesnt exist on his opponent.

destiny has

at 42, destiny is called a virtue signaller by jon tron, who is running through a list of things he learned a week ago on a mr metokur video to call destiny, which is every bit as cringe and awful to watch as the australian mp who called another sitting member of government out for man splaining

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOXh5repOWI

desinty throws back a solid rebuttal that jontron side steps going “what im saying is…” and totally fuckign forgets what destiny even said 10 seconds later because jon tron is running through his recently learned, stupid diluted “”facts”” rather than listen and speak to any argument of destiny’s, especially in cases like this when destiny lands a solid question

at 45, destiny gussies globalization with how its great and necessary it is and how cutting off bringing in workers to make stuff in the usa (spoilers: jobs leave the USA, not come in) and trade would lower american standard of living since iiphones will be worth $3000 which is the most liberal, whitest fucking statement of argument because, while yes, iphones would get more expensive, but at least they arent being made in slave labour assembly plants where workers commit mass suicide in protest to their working conditions and that the west isnt pilfering the future leaders and skilled workers from these societies that need them most.

destiny, true to his ignorance, thinks cheap shit is awesome because its made elsewhere, unaware that it’s only so cheap because people die and get crippled in hot, unregulated slave labour factorys making his shitty overpriced electronics

desinty is right though that the american identity goes beyond just being white, because american culture is informed by its various ethnic gorups and peoples, for example it’s black community that does a disproportionately great job of establishing culure, music, activism and art for america as a whole

jon tron again doubles back, shifts the subject to other shit and starts talking about balkanization upon facing a solid argument

at 48 i start to lose my fucking mind because they are talking at eachother and jontron accuses destiny of deflecting when it is jon tron doing all the deflecting. jon trons smug laughter is grating

jon tron has to rely on telephone game “MUH EUROPE” over and over because he cant acknowledge that america is exceptional in how it assimilates and functionas as a melting pot in a way that europe fucking cant, which is creating the situations jon tron fumbless at with greasy game controller fingers to conflate with the USA in the first place.

desinty then claims that germany’s economy is doing great because of taking in refugees, here again he is talking out of his rose tinted ass because not only is it too early to tell if they are mkaing germany money or not, but that the reality is that they are likely a net drain on the germany given other countries and historic precedent

at 50 mins destiny thinks anti-abortion is a white christian thing, further enshrinign his white, middle class, youtuber ignorance. i guess catholic latinx or muslims are pro-choice

at 1 hour desinty says “its ok to keep a country frfom progressing as much as it can in order to maintain a rcaial identity"destiny clarifies it as “stifling growth” which is exactly what jon tron was asserting, to which he goes yeah dude, japan etc and this fucking knob destiny asks jon tron why he came to america instead of japan then, thinking his strawman homerun is about to take off - until jon tron says he was born in amerca.. destiny goes “oh… well…  y-your parents/// ijjuhhhUHH FUCK IM NOT TALKING ABOUT JAPAN IM TALKING ABOUT TEH UNITED STATES!!! which is about the best backfire ive seen all debate long considering the smug setup for it destiny had. furhtemore, what the fuck does “progressing” entail?? Neve raxplained

which is funny because when it isnt a country desinty can use as an argument against jon tron, destiny shrieks IM TALKING ABOUT AMERICA to disguise his ignorance unless it befits him (japan)

soon after though, destiny catches jontron on his shit about slowing immigration down so they can “enter the gene pool”

jontron couldve articulated around this but jontron is a moron, so, he just stutters and gets walked all over

i want to stab jon tron. laughing nervously is anot a good cubstitute for a credible argument

destiny stinks, though he fucking is destroying jon tron because jon tron is regurgitating even more  regurgitated shit arguments gleaned from someone else than destiny, who at points is arguing from his own values.

i have stopped paying attention rea

“that is what im talkibg about” -jon tron, who cant articulate what the fuck hes trying to verbal diarrhea for himself

“my oral ulterior motive is to maximize economic growth, and to maximize the slice of the pie for everybody in the united states” -destiny

destiny’s disposition is clearly and decisively about maximizing economic growth, but it rests upon ignorant hopefulness that these immigrants will arrive and abandon their cultures and become “american"this simultaneously exposes destinys humanitarianism as self serving (so long as it leads to economic growht:) ) which is partly why the immigration model in countries like sweden have completely collapsed (jontron touches on sweden but clearly has no fucking clue besides MUH RIIOTS) beause they took on an ABSURD amount of migrants and immigrants thinking it will pay for itself and transform sweden into a post-ethnic nascent economic power like a jr. america, except what the swedes have done is import a shit ton of people to be a “humanitarian superpower” and threw the lot of them into commie block ghettos and stopped caring about them, assuming they would naturally become swedes, permitting the transformation of these immigrant slums and neighbourhoods into economic and cultural parallel societies that frequently are violent toward swedish authorities and outsiders visiting their area, hence the term "no go zones” where police are instantly attacked and services like ambulances require escort.

“how do you grow an economy if the populatio n is dying off” says destiny, unaware that people can reproduce and will do so the moment people die off enough for real estate prices to collapse from housing supply outpacing demand and wages to skyrocket and make living costs manageable to have enough children to make replacement rate. You know. Naturally rise and fall and rise again. as humanity has done naturally for fucking ever and has fared PRETTY WELL without having to drive the environment and civil stability into the shitter for the ponzi scheme INFINITE GROWTH meme. Destiny argues this yet has no fucking clue what he’s arguing for. fuck destiny, fuck this argument, fuck “economic growth” that means demand from immigration and globalization that makes 600 square foot apartments cost $750,000 and ramshackle crackhouses cost $2million in vancouver. wow, im really feeling the economic growth, fucker.

jon tron brings up the disproportionate violence of black youths, but when asked to explain that, jon tron backs out and laughs about how destiny asking jontron to clarify that point is just like those shows on CNN where people are trying to “TRAP YAH”

Yah, jon tron, it’s called backing up your argument

jon tron jesterly mentions crime rates being consistent across africa when destiny addresses the court systems in america, as if jon tron’s hints toward his earnest views on race were subtle enough

destiny asks jon tron to name 5 african countries

why??

who cares

i am finding myself wishing i were arguing in place of eachotehr, because i see where they are both coming from but are too busy screwin g up their delivery to actually win a point over eachother

they are literally just talking at eachother and calling it a debate

Jon tron accuses destiny of bringing up irish and italians when its convenient

…as if jon tron doesnt bring up MUH YUROP and other whatevers when it’s convenient.

i hate this

they both suck t this. Jon tron has dug a hole through the earth and is now reaching escape velocity with his shovel and is soon to break earths orbit

jon tron brings up turks and iranians being able to assimilate into a culture than a romanian and hungarian would. If jon tron were knowledgeable to pursue this point, he couldve described how Kurds (an iranian people) and turks often fight and engage in conflict with each other in say, Germany to the dismay of germans who expected these groups to assimilate, forget their animosities from their homeland and become good forklift simulator playing germans.

i ahve wasted my hour

i like how i stopped keeping track of time on the video and just started ranting, rambling at the halfway point

I loved it for moments like this tho:

lmao

i feel jon tron is going through a PHILOSOPHICAL AND INFORMATIONAL BLOSSOMING which i guess is taking the red pill for some people. So he is on the same tier as a 16 year old who just discovered holohoax and bell curve graphs for the first time on a 4chan thread loaded with A. Wyatt Man drawings.

He will eventually (hopefully) research for himself these positions if only because he’s constantly being stomped and fighting people over these regurgitated opinions. Which means he is going to try and read up on them to better argue them. Which means he is going to have a hangover of sorts when he realizes what he’s done lol