#tfw you can't write requests but you can write anything else

[futilescript]

soukoku piece i have been working on as a vent

content warnings: mentions of alcohol, suicidal thoughts, and emotions in general

reader gets to decide the type of relationship. because op is a little shit and left things rather ambiguous! hope you like it ~

(Filed under the cut for length)

Nakahara Chuuya

• Doesn't mind if his partner is timid or boisterous. Seeing as he has worked with both kinds before he doesn't see a problem with using this experience with potential partners.

• Very patient. Willing to take time out of his day to listen to you if and when you have things you would like to discuss.

• A good listener but disastrous at supplying advice that does not have a very violent undertone.

"Ah well, I can show them what it's like to be in pain if you'd like?"

"I think I can do that all on my own, it's appreciated though."

• Genuinely intrigued by your interests whether they align with his or not. Very supportive of your hobbies.

"You collect these?"

"Yeah, it's a bit embarrassing.."

"Oh no, they're cute. Do what makes you happy. It never matters what other people think."

• Acts as a caretaker whenever you think you may need one. Allowing you to delve into whatever vice that helps to keep the thoughts away. Several times he has allowed you to raid his wine cellar and cry on his shoulder.

• Keeps tabs on physical, verbal, and emotional barriers. Your gloves that almost match his own do not go unnoticed. The way you flinch before, during, and after a colleague touches you in a friendly manner is one of the first things he picked up on. And so, he refrains from touching you at all unless it is entirely necessary.

"I'm not weak." You murmur after an evening of his eyes constantly examining you.

"Never said you were."

• Seemingly out of nowhere he will gift you things that he thinks you will enjoy. Ranging from expensive bracelets, necklaces, gloves, and flowers. His only excuse being 'They reminded me of you. How could I not get it for you?' A sly smile playing at his lips.

"Am I allowed to do the same?"

"Give me things? I'd rather you didn't but I suppose I cannot stop you."

Osamu Dazai

• A bit of a hypocrite. Though suicide-crazed he will drop everything if you so much as mention the topic. He can joke around with you about it but can always tell when you using it as a coping mechanism instead of fun.

• Being experienced in his antics of a 'refreshing and painless' suicide he will go into full detail about techniques with you. Gauging reactions based off your body language is easy enough. Having been in the mafia and now the dectective agency has taught him everything he needs to know.

"Are you going to commit a sweet death with me today, lover?"

"I'll get back to you on it."

• Depression, anxiety, stress, and everything few and far between are all things Dazai has managed with for quite a while. And so when it all gets too much he will whisks you away from boring paperwork to try and cheer you up. Revealing that he was stolen money from Kunikida's wallet to buy you takoyaki and then red bean taiyaki make you laugh. And your laughter warms his heart even while you reprimand him breathlessly.

"I think it's funny how people say, 'you know you can talk to me right?' It truly makes the other person feel like a burden. Shouldn't it be natural."

Even if it's meant to be a question you have known Dazai long enough to know that it a statement. A rhetorical question if anything.

"That's what you are saying though. Dazai, I know. But we both know it is always much easier said than done."

"As long as you know, darling."

"I trust you to know the same, Osamu."

• Before meeting Dazai you were not aware how ridiculous the feeling of bandages rubbing against your face would feel. Especially after they have been wet with tears.

"Do you feel better, love?"

You huff while sniffling then managing a dry laugh through your stuttering ribcage.

"You know I don't."

"And you know what I mean."

".. A little but I feel worse as well."

"That's how these things go I'm afraid."

You also find that you don't mind when his bandaged fingers sift through your hand. They lull you to sleep at times which is something your body is always craving aside from the warmth from another human being.

• Afternoons that slowly meld into nights and early mornings lying on Dazai's chest become more and more frequent. You navigate yourself around his messy apartment. Clothes, broken glass, suicide pamphlets, prose, and poetry strewn left and right. In due time you have several sets of clothes to change into on his dresser. A toothbrush in his stainless steel cup that he keeps on his sink. And a collection of socks decorated with kittens that he has gifted to you.

• With your permission while he lies on his back, head hanging off the bed, he will recite poetry. It brings a small smile to your face when he stutters and clears his throat repeatedly while reading the more romantic works.

Slowly his apartment is cleaned up by you. Glass is swept up and properly disposed of. Books are tucked away in his bedside drawers. Clothes are cleaned then stuffed away because folding clothes helps neither of you. The refrigerator is stocked with fresh fruit and vegetables just in case either of you would like to cook.

• Eating with Dazai is, in one word, engaging. You have never minded but to this day it amuses you to see a man play with his food the way he does.

"Look it's drowning. Oh no, save him!"

"Mm, maybe he wants to join our club huh?"

"Oh! You're right, how careless of me."

And so you watch inquisitively, as you hold your head in your palms, while Dazai tries to revive a grain of rice dipped in green tea.

• Walks in the evening while the warmth of the atmosphere Dazai sets around you feels almost euphoric. Reluctantly you will accept his trenchcoat as the wind whips violently against your body. It smells like him which happens to make you feel rather happy. Though you feel a little bad as the back end does drag along the floor despite your best intentions of holding the fabric between your fingers.

• Dazai is not too fond of tea or water. But will give in if you hold your own dehydration over his head. With a very evidentiary petulance in his actions the bottle is gulped down in a matter of seconds.

"Thank you darling."

"Oh, of course. Anything for you, my sweet." The menace in his voice dripping hot and fast like fresh blood on a blade.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Because You Cheated On Me

(10x05/10x07)

Hello my friends! Here I'm with another meta from this series.

This time I'm gonna share with you something I discovered in this early season.

I want to say thanks to my dearest friend @agusvedder who made the gifs for this meta. Love ya gorgeous 💕

Wincest: NO! Destiel: ...

Episode 10x05 Fan Fiction was dedicated to the fans. We can see a lot of fan service, (the quote "We have work to do" as the Winchester loved cliche, but it also connects with season 15, in which we heard it again, delivering us a huge parallel with what is going on in the last season, I will talk later of this) but also, we can see Dean's reaction to the ships.

Her is Dean and the audience (mostly GA) who don't see subtext or ships, but is Rejecting it right away. Because they're brothers. And is disgusting to think they're searching for something else between them, so... Dean requested them to get away from each other.

A different reaction we can see I'm Dean )or may I say Jensen?) When Marie suggests DESTIEL ship, and explains the subtext to him.

He doesn't asked to be apart, and one little detail, the two girls were dating in real life (winking at Cockles shippers).

And the precious relevance to SUBTEXT in the show, when we are talking about Dean and Cas.

Dean will end by accepting it, and embracing it...

DEAN : Yeah, that'd have been easier. I know I have expressed some differences of opinion, regarding this particular version of Supernatural. But tonight, it is all about Marie's vision. This is Marie's Supernatural. So, I want you to get out there, and I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text, as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today.

Marie's supernatural, the Fan's Supernatural, it transport me to Becky in episode 15x04. Writing her own ending and her own stories...

Marie, not accepting the end Chuck had written, she chooses to write her own ending. And that's, what I think, the huge parallel with season 15.

The Winchesters, TFW 2.0, can write their own ending. Their own destiny.

But don't forget this is a Destiel Meta, and I can't avoid the fact that while Dean was talking about subtext here, he was putting Castiel's tie upside down. That's very meaningful because... Dean knows how Cas wears his tie... And is something he had payed attention... Is part of his Castiel, and maybe something he find adorable on him.

Yes... Subtext...

Another quote that brings us to season 15 is the two girls acting like Sam and Dean, saying...

SIOBHAN!DEAN : You're right, Sammy. Out on the road. Just the two of us.

MARIE!SAM : The two of us against the world.

First episode in season 15, Dean said the same quote. So, there's a tight recalling to this episode, in which Chuck appears at the end too.

The message is... We write our own destiny and ending.

Jealous and Revenge

Now... We all laughed with this scene...

But what this means...?

If you recall the last episode from this season... Sam and Cas team up and Dean didn't know it. They were cheating on Dean. Sastiel and Destiel.

This is not the only clue among the season, and you will discover it with me though these metas.

But now... I want to talk about Castiel's speech from my previous meta : THERE'S A FEMALE ON MY CAR and Dean's puzzled and frowned face... Jealous.

Because... What happened at the beginning of episode 10x07, Girls, Girls, Girls... It has to do with that.

What I call REVENGE from Dean Winchesters feeling himself abandoned and deceived, and cheated by Castiel... Was he with a woman in his car??? What about me? Does he changed me for her?

So... Very OOC... Dean Winchester tried to hook up with a date app...

SAM: Shaylene, huh?

Dean, there are like a million messages here.

DEAN: Yeah, uh, check out her pic.

SAM: Uh...Oh. Wow. Okay.

[Camera view of phone shows a beautiful woman with dark hair in a blue dress]

Um, okay. She's hot. But...

DEAN: "But," what?

SAM: But she seems, um... Kind of...available. Like too available. "Oh, baby, whatever you want. I'm burning up just thinking about you."

Okay, if you rewatch the whole scene, Sam is mocking him, because is clear here Dean doesn't use to do this. Dean doesn't use date apps to get a woman. Then, why is he doing this?

Because he is acting now like a jiltter lover (oh, wait... Is another parallel with Human!Cas in episode 9x06 😏)

And because the subtext has to be well constructed here, it jumps to Cas and Hannah (the female in Castiel's car) doing this...

Is she "Kind of avaible. Like too avaible?"

Yes she is...

And because this season we will talk about romantic betrayal (CAS cheating on Dean with Hannah and Sam) we have a foreshadow with Hannah's vessel and the husband.

And Castiel excusing Hannah's behavior... Because...

The mission comes first DEAN WINCHESTER COMES FIRST, will echoing one of the quotes by the end of the season in which Sam, Cas and Charlie will do anything to save him from the mark, even if that means not telling him (cheating on him) FOR DEAN.

To Conclude:

Episode 5x05 brings us to season 15 and Chuck's drama. TFW must learn they can write their own destiny and ending.

Dean using a dates app is so ooc that hurts, but it has his cause on Castiel's female in his car, so Dean is absolutely acting like a jitter lover.

Foreshadowing too the Sastiel team, hiding Dean his plans to save him.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @shippsblog

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From season 10, here you have the links...

Vol. LI and Vol. LII

Buenos Aires, March 15 2020 03:04 PM