#tfw the people you're devoted to protect take advantage of that devotion and it's part of the reason you end up going mad
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just btw
#rambles.#consumed by devotion but also just Devoted To Devotion ykwim#like so consumed by devotion that your every waking moment is spent making sure you don't stray from that path of devotion#and he's still devoted in a way but just to something else. to the opposite#being so devoted to not being devoted the paradox the contradiction the the th#sits in the corner rocking back and forth#tfw the people you're devoted to protect take advantage of that devotion and it's part of the reason you end up going mad#tfw they either a. don't believe you're 'good' enough so they continuously 'test' you or#b. they fear so much for you that they make it their job to make Yours as difficult as possible in hopes you stray from your path#OR c. they do see your strength and see your unwavering devotion and take advantage of that while never lending you a hand-#-in your own time of need bc they know it wont stop you from still helping them#leuthere being run ragged and the last straw being his mother being killed + that entity taking advantage of him#(with promises of never being taken advantage of again ... brother thats what ur doing right neow)#drags my nails down my face#this isn't even comprehensible but i'm vibrating rn#i'm also thinking about SAINT and their own big theme of being taken advantage of and how devotion can be sinister and hurtful and#lays face first down on the floor
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