#texsisct

[banamine-bananime]

i’m out here on my own in agony over texsisct because

what if you were always the weird freaky girl always being left behind but you can get people to like you if not really respect you by being the Goodtimes Party Girl Who's Down For Anything And Gives No Fucks She's Just So Chill About Whatever People Wanna Do. and it takes you and your fwb foreverrrr to admit that there's feelings and you're not just having meaningless fun because you're both allergic to emotional vulnerability and it already took forever to get to the point where she realized she really liked you and saw you as much more than some lame and vapid ditz, so like, you're definitely not going to be the one to blink first and not be So Super Cool About Everything Because You're Not Like Those Boring Crybaby Couples That Want To Therapytalk About Their Emotions All The Time Instead Of Just Shutting Up And Doing Actually Fun Shit.

but your girlfriend still has this friend that she went through everything with, like you cannot emphasize enough just how much… deeper their history together objectively is, and she doesn't talk about her much but you get the feeling that's kind of in a "it means so much that it hurts to talk about" way and certainly not a "just haven't thought about her in a while" way.

and that's fine! that's sooooo totally completely fine because you're not monogamous. it would be so weird if that made you feel like garbage, once again just the shallow-fun-just-for-a-good-time-not-for-a-long-time loser. (neither of you have negotiated a boundary once in your relationship because it has never occurred to you that it might be a good idea to do such a thing, nor that someone wouldn't immediately leave you if you put such a heavy burden on them as articulating any sort of emotional need).

and then she does get with her best friend and it does hurt exactly as much as you feared and also.

it's like really, really hot.