#tevin looks like he hates everyone

[professionalfixator]

worlds hottest jury part 3

[raya-hunter01]

Fade Into You Part. 6

Prequel Lights, Camera, Action!

Jey Uso x Black Female OC! (Shantell)

Roman x Black Female OC! Tangela

Solo x Black Female OC! Sofia

Jimmy x Trin

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; oral, sex, fluff, masturbation

FADE INTO YOU

Summary: This is the Prequel for Lights, Camera, Action! How does an outburst on your first day lead to a lifelong friendship with the Tribal Chief Roman Reigns and the stands the test of time. How does that friendship introduce you to a special group of people that will become your family.  

When did the lines get blurred between friendship and wanting a relationship with one of your best friends Mr. Main Event Jey Uso. Follow the friendships, and relationships of how they all came to be the one big happy family we all know and love in Lights, Camera, Action.

15 months later

Amway Center

Shantell’s POV

It is insane how a two-week shutdown has now turned into months. My graduation was cancelled and did virtually. I got hired by WWE, Joe had been home due to being immunocompromised.

Then another blow hit us even harder, Jimmy got hurt and had to undergo knee surgery leaving his and Jey’s career in limbo.

Gram and mom moved back in with me when the shutdown hit, and I think I’ve reeled them in to stay permanently.

We did shows at the Performance center, but I felt we could do more. It was so boring just seeing an empty place with occasional wrestlers cheering in the audience behind Plexi glass.  

Paul agreed and I began brainstorming ideas and the rest, as they say is history. The Thunderdome was born…Yea, I did that, and couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed watching the crew putting the final touches my vision.

We did a trial run for smackdown last night and everyone loved it. Today we’ve been working out the kinks and it’s coming along very well.

So how does it feel to be the new boss,” Tevin asked walking up to me as I laughed. “Scary as hell and I wanna throw up,” I said honestly.

“Stop stressing, they loved this idea,” he said walking around taking in the Thunderdome.

 “This shit is a game changer and last night was amazing.  You did dat Ma. Stop being modest and own da greatness that is you,” he said as I blushed.

“Thanks Tevin I just hate you leavin’,” I said as he waved me off. “I been on smackdown so long, I need a change and I think the Raw brand is it,” he said as I nodded in understanding.

 After the kiss and I set him straight Tevin had been on my good side and I have to say he has made working here these last few months fun.

I was actually going to miss him if that made sense. “They are going to enjoy your talent on the Raw brand,” I said as he gave me a hug.

“So, what is this I hear about these buff wrestlers asking you out,” he whispered as I cringed.

“Ugh, how you know about that?” I asked as he smiled at me. “One thing you gon’ learn, everybody knows everybody business when you work here,” he said as I pulled away, shaking my head at him.

“I don’t even know how it got started,they just been approaching me,” I said honestly confused.

 “Your fresh meat, that’s why ,but it will pass and I’m sure Jey ain’t takin’ it too well,” he said as I saw Jey coming down the ramp.

“No, but Jey’s just protective of me is all. So are Joe and Jimmy so it’s no big deal,”I said as Tevin scoffed.

“Bullshit, that fool likes yo’ ass but some reason can’t take the leap. He shouldn’t be able to control who you date especially since he’s dating people and I hear Taraji’s sniffing around again,” Tevin said as I kept a neutral look on my face as Jey got closer to us.

“It ain’t like that, Jey thinks of me as his friend. Plus, It’s been my choice to be single and has nothing to do with him,” I said as Tevin rolled his eyes at me.

“What I’m being serious, I have too much going on and some of ya’ll men tend to be drama queens. So, with that in mind I keep my heart and legs closed,” I said smartly as Tevin laughed at me.

 “Why you laughin’ at me?  I’m just keeping it real, it’s all about me and building my legacy.I ain’t got time for the bullshit,” I said shrugging my shoulders standing boldly in my truth.  “I feel you,” Tevin said as Jey made his presence felt.

“Damn, this looks tight Shan!” Jey exclaimed, cutting his eyes at Tevin before giving me a hug. I cringed as I saw Tevin’s eye twitch before he walked off without another word.

The tension was always there between the two and I didn’t know why.

Tonight was SummerSlam and Joe was returning so not even their pissing contest could ruin my night.

“Uh, thanks Jey, I’m shocked it’s coming together so good,” I said trying to change the subject as he looked at me in disbelief.

“It came from your brain of course it was going to be good,” he said as I smiled at him.

“Thank you, it means a lot,” I said as I saw Paul come on the top of the ramp smiling at the setup.

Yea, I think we were really on to something.

---

Joe’s POV

“So, this is what you do?” Tangela asked as I smiled at her. “Yea, it’s a little different now with no fans,” I said as she nodded her head taking in the backstage area.

I could tell she was overwhelmed as Shantell came over and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I know it seems like a lot, but Joe knows what he’s doing and nobody is going to bother you back here,” Shantell reassured her.

I hoped Tangela could get use to this life. I mean being with her is just so different from any other relationship I’ve experienced.

She has a good head on her shoulders, just graduated business school and ready to take on the world.

I’m in love with this woman and I don’t want to screw it up.  

“Dang, you have to do a lot of stuff Shantell, I’d probably have a nervous breakdown,” Tangela said looking at the monitors as Shantell smiled.

“Girl, it’s a breeze I love it. How bout I show you some of it while Joe does his thing,” Shantell said as I smiled at them.

“Thanks for taking care of her, sis,” I said as she waved me off. “Go get ready and be careful,” she said as I went to get ready.

---

SummerSlam Main Event

Shantell’s POV

I missed Joe being in the ring and I honestly felt a little choked up seeing him again. This new side of him was what he wished he could do from the beginning.

The world was about to experience a new side to Roman Reigns and I hope they are ready for what’s about to come.

“You can’t handle this responsibility,” Joe said holding up the universal championship.

“I need that final shot, we’re going to fade out on Joe,” I called Tangela looked on in shock. “You want me to scan the Thunderdome or pace out?” Stu asked as I smiled.

“I need a zoom pan on Joe for about ten seconds then we’re going to fade out,” I instructed. “Got ya, Shan,” Stu responded. “This is all crazy,” Tangela whispered as I gave her a small smile. 

“Nobody saw this coming,” Cole said as Joe continued to talk his shit. “It’s always gon’ be mine,” he spoke as I smiled. He was in the zone, and that made me even more excited for this new storyline Paul had been working on.

 “I need a slow pan out shot of Joe over Bray, lets finish SummerSlam strong. It’s been amazing doing this with you all tonight,” I said as Paul smiled at me.

“Got you Shan,” Jane said. “Whoo, that shot looks sick girl,” I praised as she laughed. “Thanks boss lady, you keeping me on my toes,” she said as I smiled.

 “A’ight we’re out in 5, 4,3,2,1,” I said as Paul rubbed my shoulder. “You did that, everything looked amazing,” he said as I sighed in relief as he gave me a hug.

“Thank you so much I whispered returning the gesture before he got up to take a call. I felt accomplished, we really pulled it off. The fans interacted and everything looked awesome.

“That was amazing Shantell,” Tangela said as I smiled at her. “Thanks girly, I hope you join us more often. This is going to be where we hold all shows and PPV’s until we can start traveling and have crowds again,” I said as she gave me hug.

“Thanks for making me feel welcome,” she said as I smiled. “Your family and that is all to it. No need to thank me,” I whispered feeling her body relax.

She was good for Joe; I knew the first time I met her. Yep, big brother was off the market, and I was happy he found someone to love.

--------------------

One month Later

 Amway Center

Paul’s Office

Shantell’s POV

“Do you like it though?” Jey asked as I looked at the mullet he was rockin’.  “I mean it’s interesting, I said as he laughed.

“So, that means you hate it,” he said as I looked at the back of his head again and smirked.

“It fits you; I promise it looks good,” I reassured him as we waited on Paul and Joe.

“I wonder what this is all about, I hope they ain’t sending me home,” Jey said as I grabbed his hand.

“Stop overthinking everything. You have nothing to worry about, “I said trying to hold in the secret I knew they were about to drop on him.

“Sorry we ran behind in the creative meeting,” Paul said coming in with Heyman and Joe behind him.  Joe and I exchanged smiles as he nodded at me, letting me know everything was a go.

“So Jey we’ve been thinking about a few things,” Paul said as I felt Jey grab my hand as I gently squeezed it in support.

“When Joe decided to come back he asked me for several things. One of them was to work a feud with you,” Paul said as you could hear a pin drop as I looked at the shocked look on Jey’s face.

“Jey say something,” I said as he blinked quickly and looked at Joe. “Are you serious, Uce?” he asked as Joe smiled at him.

“Yea, I want us to work together and make history. The world deserves to see how talented you are,” Joe said as I could tell Jey was overwhelmed.  

“We want to build a stable with your family. Though it’s months away before Jimmy can return to action, we want to bring him in to be apart of this now as well,” Paul said as I felt Jey’s grip tightening on my hand.

“So, uh, how is this gon’ work?” Jey asked as Heyman laughed. “We are all going to put our heads together and blow the wrestling worlds mind. This is going to be the best long-term storyline in the history of this company,” Heyman said as Jey sighed rubbing his hand over his face.

“That is the goal Jey, and I promise you, if you trust the process, you’re going to go further than you ever dreamed you could. So will Joe, Jimmy, and Sefa,” Paul said as Jey perked up at the mention of his baby brother’s name.

“Sefa…. Are you serious? Don’t play wit me ya’ll,” Jey said as Paul laughed. “Yes, we are going to bring your brother in when his contract expires with Arizona Wrestling expires Paul said as Joe smiled.

  “We are in charge of this and how it goes Uce, no writers just us in this room,” Joe said as Jey looked at me.

“Did you know Shantell?” Jey asked as I nodded. “Yea, I did and I’m very happy for you and I know you can do this,” I said as his innocent eyes pierced my soul.

“So, can I take this to the creative table and tell them we are all on board?” Heyman asked as I began to wonder what my part in all this was going to be since Joe said we all would be involved.  I was just here for moral support.

 “I see the wheels turning over there Shantell. I need you to be my eyes portraying this story on camera. What you’ve done with the Thunderdome has been amazing and I need you on this,” Paul said as I nodded in understanding.

“You know I got ya’ll, count me in,” I said without hesitation truly honored they wanted me to be a part of the masterpiece they were about to create.

“Glad you’re on-board Shantell. Now Jey are you in?” Heyman asked as Jey seemed to be in doubt. “I don’t know ya’ll, I’m use to tag wrestling and having Jimmy by my side. I can’t abandon my brother now, can I even do good as a singles wrestler,” Jey said expressing his fears openly to us.

I understood what he was saying but he needed to know he wasn’t leaving Jimmy behind, and he needed to get out of his own way and try.

They were all about to be elevated to another level.

“Hey, you deserve this and your not abandoning Jimmy he’s going to be right there with you through it all. You can do this, stop doubting yourself,” I said as he sighed appearing to be in deep thought as he contemplated the huge offer just put before him.

“A’ight, I’m in,” he whispered as I clapped in excitement before giving him a hug.

“Ya’ll are going to change the game with this, enjoy it,” I whispered as  Joe came over and joined in on our group hug.

“Let’s do this Uce, let’s run this place,” Joe said as Jey smiled at him. “Damn right let’s do this,” Jey said as Paul smiled at us.

“I’ll go let creative know everyone is on board,” Heyman said as we celebrated.

History was about to be made, the bloodline was here and ready to take over the wrestling world.

------------

Hell in a Cell

Jey’s POV

I had been followed by WWE cameras for the last few days. I allowed them into my home as they documented my history with Joe.

I was nervous at first, but with Shantell being their instructing the camera crew on how to film and when to give me space I felt better about the mini documentary.

 She knows me so well and I’m thankful for her. Joe really seems to think everything is about really take off for me, but I feel bad Jimmy is hurt.

“Aye, you can keep filming, but can you give us a minute and film back there,” I told Stu pointing to the back of the room as I talked to Tamina and Shantell.

“Hey, you good?” Shantell asked kneeling beside me as I sighed knowing I wasn’t, clad in my white gear and my lei Tamina had made I was losing it.

“Hey breath, just breathe Jey,” Shantell said rubbing my back as Tamina reached over and grabbed my hand.

“You gotta stop cuz,” she whispered as I nodded.  “This is how it’s supposed to be, you deserve this, Stop thinking you don’t belong here,” she cried reaching over as they both embraced me as I broke down.

“I’ll give ya’ll a moment,” I faintly heard Stu say as I nodded truly overwhelmed as I heard the door close.  

“You can do this, you are going to do this. Now let’s get it together,” Shantell said as I took a couple deep breaths. “I’ma kill it,” I said talking down my nerves as Tamina laughed wiping her tears.

“Yes, you are, now stop making us cry,” she said as Shantell wiped her own tears. “I got ya’ll, I‘m ready now,” I sighed trying to convince myself.

“We are going to leave you alone and let you get your mind right,” Shantell said giving me a kiss on the cheek before standing up readjusting her hat.

“Yea, we will be in Gorilla,” Tamina said giving me a hug.

“Thanks, I don’t know what I’d do without ya’ll,” I said as Shantell smiled brightly at me. “We’ll see you soon,” she whispered as they left me to my thoughts.

Pulling myself up, I walked in front of the floor length mirror in my dressing room. I looked at myself in disbelief, I looked like a main even player.

I looked like I belonged and all that was left to do was to prove it tonight..

“This is it Josh, make it count and have fun,” I muttered to myself trying to shake off my nerves.

Tonight I knew I was losing but one day I know I will be world champion but for tonight I was going to put Joe over and began my career as new his right-hand man.

I hope the world is ready for this…

----

September 2021

Shantell’s Condo

Pensacola, FL

My first year with the WWE had gone well, the bloodline storyline was thriving, everyone was captivated by their storyline, and it was breaking viewing records on YouTube and bringing in high ratings.

 Yes, life was great but these last few weeks I had a nagging feeling something was wrong and the bomb my mom just dropped on me confirmed my worries.

“What do you mean stage three, and she doesn’t want chemo!” I exclaimed as my mother pulled me into the living room.

“Don’t let her hear or see you like this Shan,” my mom whispered as I tried to control my tears.  “Can ya’ll keep mama company for a minute?” my mom asked Jey and Joe as they sadly retreated to the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you tell me before now?” I asked my mom as she sighed in defeat. “We didn’t want to worry you, it’s only been a few weeks baby,” she answered without hesitation.

“Ya’ll shoulda’ told when you found out mama,” I said trying to stay calm. I had to fix it, I had to convince her to do chemo.

“I don’t understand how this happened and why she doesn’t want to do chemo,” I whispered as my mother tried to control her own tears. 

“Baby, it’s stage three and is beginning to spread. Chemo isn’t going cure her, it only is going to prolong life,” my mother cried trying to get me to understand.

“So, what’s wrong with prolonging life,” I cried not wanting to accept they were giving up.

“Baby, she isn’t strong enough to go through this. Think about it…. Constant chemo just to live and you know how it wrecked her body before. That ain’t a life for anybody, she’s tired Shantell,” she said as I cleared my throat trying to stop my tears.  

I knew she was right, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“I know she’s tired mama, in my mind, I know we have to let her go. I just wish somebody could explain it to my heart how to let her go,” I whispered in despair as we embraced each other.  

It was her choice and we had to accept it and prepare. How do you let go of someone you can’t imagine even existing in a world without them.

“Let’s go talk to her baby,” my mom said as I tried to get myself together.

---

Joe’s POV

“When the time comes, ya’ll take care of them,” Gram said as I held her hand. “We still got some time, you ain’t leaving us yet,” Jey said as she smiled at him. “I love ya’ll sweet boys,” she said as I smiled at her. "We love you too," Jey said giving her a sad smile.

“We sure do and we gon’ take care of them both, don’t you worry Gram,” I reassured her as we sat in silence in the kitchen.

As Shantell and her mother came back into the kitchen, I felt like my heart was straining against my chest as I saw the look of helplessness on their faces.

Jey’s POV

Shantell came and sat beside her grandmother taking her hand in hers. “Hey, baby,” Gram whispered as Shantell smiled sadly at her. “Hey Gram,” she whispered as her grandmother caressed her face.

“Gram, I’m going to call Paul,” Shantell started as her grandmother interrupted her. “No, your not Shantell. You goin’ to go to work, I ain’t letting you do this again,” she said with conviction as Shantell closed her eyes, her tears flowing freely.

“Gram, I..I want to be here with you,” Shantell said as her mother interjected.

 “Shantell, you are working one day a week sometimes two. We can manage here, until you come home. You’re not putting your life on hold again,” she said making no room for argument as Shantell sighed in defeat.

 “I don’t like it,” Shantell said wiping her tears as Gram smiled at her. “Well too bad because we got this, your mama and I already talked it over,” she said hugging Shantell. I knew the road ahead was going to be hard and this loss was going to hurt Shantell deeply.

---

May 16,2022

Raw

Trin’s POV

So much has been going on and the frustration is mounting. All of our schedules are picking up as we are appearing on both shows to help Raw with ratings.

The guys were thriving, while I was miserable. Sasha and I are really lacking teams to feud with.

 Shantell has been trying to help us voice our concerns to Mark, but he isn’t hearing anything we are saying and I’m ready to throw in the damn towel.

“You are going to do what we asked you to do and that’s the end of it. Stop being difficult or you both can walk,” Mark said as I looked at him in disbelief.

“Excuse me what did you say?” I asked Mark as he rolled his eyes at me. “I said you’re doing what I asked , or you can pack your shit and go home,” he said as Shantell looked at him like he was crazy.

“Aye, you need to calm down. They just brought you their concerns about the match and that’s what they are supposed to do. It ain’t no need to get rude,” Shantell said as I could tell she was about over his attitude as well.

“Shantell she ain’t getting special treatment cause' her husband is a star here. She should feel lucky we are considering her for this. They will be in the six-pack challenge; Sasha will pin her end of story,” he said as Sasha sighed in frustration.

 “She ain’t asking for special treatment she just asked a damn question. Will you listen to them, that’s your job,” Shantell said trying to reason with him.

“I ain’t got time for the theatrics today,” he said as I felt the fire rumbling within me.

“Look, I ain’t askin’ for no special treatment, but I deserve to be treated with respect. You don’t have to be rude, I just asked a question as to where the story was going,” I said feeling attacked and overwhelmed.

“I don’t think it makes sense for us to be in the title picture for the women’s title when we are tag champions. We need to be building a tag team division for us to compete against, instead of these random teams,” Sasha said as he scoffed at her.

Shantell’s POV

“Look we ain’t payin’ you to think. If we did you and Trin would both be broke!” he yelled as I as Trin and I both raised our eyebrows in shock.

Oh! So, you sayin’ we dumb? Look, you keep pushin’ but you don’t know me Mark, I ain’t the one,” Trin warned as her resolve was slipping. “Don’t know me either,” Sasha said fuming.

 “Ookk, and damn sure don’t know me! Cause’ one things for certain and two things for damn sure. If you say one more off the wall comment bout my sister or Sasha, we gon’ beat yo’ ass all up and though motherfucka. Think it’s a game Mark,” I said as he seemed to calm down at the new information he was being told.

“But you know what Shan? We ain’t gotta do that, cause he ain’t worth it. I should be thanking him because he just said made me realize something important,” Trin said looking at me with a sad smile as her unshed tears began to fall.

It painfully dawned on me she had reached the end of her rope, and I couldn’t blame her.

“What did you realize?” I asked as she took a deep breath trying to get her tears under control as she turned to face Mark who wore an unreadable expression on his face.  

“I realized that I have gave my all to this business to not be appreciated.  Constantly looked over because I don’t fit the mold of what they thought was marketable. I had to watch with a smile on my face as less talented people got ahead," she said unwavering, her voice strong and with conviction.

“You sure did put up with a lot of bullshit, patience of a damn saint,” Sasha muttered as Trin continued speaking her truth.

  “I put up with the constant disrespect but no more! I’m tired,” Trin cried as I felt my heart breaking for her.

“So I’ma take your advice Mark and leave,” she said wiping her tears. Slowly nodding her head in realization as to what she was actually doing and was at peace with it.

“What are you talking about?” Mark asked in shock.

“You heard me,I’m done…..Yea, I’m just done,” Trin said calmy walking out of the dressing room  “Fuck,”I muttered angry that everything had went this far.

“You know what? She’s right, I’m out too,” Sasha whispered following behind Trin.

I could tell he wasn’t expecting that outcome as he looked rather ill.

“If I was you, I would be really worried about the ass whopping you bout to catch for disrespecting Trin,” I said as I saw the look of fear set in as he processed what had just transpired.

“Better yet wait until I call Paul and tell him how you’re the reason two of his top female stars just walked out,” I said as he began to walk towards me.  

“Shantell you gotta help me,” he said as I looked at him like he was insane.

“Nawl, you was Billy Badass a few minutes ago. Keep that same energy,” I said leaving him alone in the dressing room in search of Trin and Sasha.

“Sasha wait!” I called out as I saw her moving swiftly towards the exit with her bags. “I’m good Shan, my husband is getting the car. I promise I’ll call you, I just need to get outta here,” she said hurrying out of the building.

“Damn it Trin where are you?” I muttered now searching the halls hoping I found Jimmy before she did.

Rounding the corner, I cringed as Jimmy came storming out of the bloodline dressing room with everyone hot on his heels.

 “Jon don’t! It’s not worth it!” Trin yelled, as he was trying to push past Jey who wasn’t moving. “I can’t let you do this Uce, let’s go talk,” Jey pleaded as Jimmy growled in frustration.

“Where the fuck is he!? I’ma kill his ass!” Jimmy yelled as Joe gently took Trin in his arms trying to calm her down.

 “Jurdy, I wanna leave, can we just please go,” she pleaded as Jimmy began pacing.

“Move Uce! I can’t let this slide, he been doin’ shit like this! I gotta Get his ass!” Jimmy yelled as Jey put his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

"Bro, let’s just go, and try to figure out what to do next. Trin needs you right now, look at her Uce," Jey said as Jimmy looked at Trin crying in Joe’s arms.

 "Let’s get outta here, we don’t need folks in our family business,” Joe said firmly as I went to Jimmy.

“Jonathon, Trin held her head high in there, and spoke from her heart. She said her peace about everything she felt and made her choice I said trying to reason with him. 

"Shan, he fuckin' "Jimmy started as Jey stopped him from talking so I could continue.

“She did the hard part, now she needs her husband to tell her it’s ok and he has her back,” I said as Jimmy seemed to be calming down.  

"I always got her back, she ain’t neva gotta question dat. It just didn’t have to go down like dat Shan. He ain’t had to do all dat to her,” he said pacing as I nodded in understanding.

“I know, but he did and now we gon’ deal with it,” I said rubbing his shoulder.

“I don’t want her to leave,” he whispered as Trin ran into his arms as the embraced each other tightly.

“I  gotta go babe, I can’t do this no more. It’s just too much to deal with,” she cried as he kissed her the top of her head gently. “I know it Trin….I know,” he whispered in defeat as we all looked on helplessly.

Damn…..The hits just kept coming, Trin just quit and her future was uncertain.

In my time in knowing her though I knew she would bounce back better than ever, just give her time.

-----

Clash at the Castle

September 3, 2022

Shantell’s POV

“Shantell, you need rest,” Paul said as I sipped on my hot coco. “I’m good, I promise,” I said as we got ready for the main event.  

“You look tired,” he pressed as I sighed putting my headset back on ignoring him. We needed to finish the show strong.

The crowd was hot, and they deserved the best show.

I had been on the go these last few months with Gram being sick and trying to stay on top of stuff here. I also help out Trin on my off days too, she just had shoulder surgery.

I have to say she was making good use of her time off getting old injuries fixed. Her and Jimmy were going strong but were still trying to get use to not seeing each other everyday.

Tonight, Sefa is coming into the fold to take his place in the bloodline. I couldn’t wait to see what ride they were going to take us on next.

Jimmy and Jey were given this PPV off storyline wise so I felt better about being over here in England knowing they were in Pensecola. They had been checking in on mama and Gram. Mama Uce even cooked for them a couple times a week.  Throughout this difficult time they all were a godsend and I owed them so much.

“How is your grandmother,” Paul asked as I smiled at him. “She’s doin’ ok, I mean the doctor told us six months and here we are pulling up on a year, so I am thankful,” I said really just grasping how time had really flew by.  

“Camera five, pan out Sefa’s coming your way,” I alerted seeing him come from the side. “Who is that?” Jane asked as I laughed. “I’m sorry, I meant Solo. Jane, my bad,” I laughed.

“We’re going to crown a brand new champion!” Cole screamed as the ref began to count. “What the hell! Someone just pulled the official out of the ring!" Cole’s excited voice rang in my headset.

“Camera eight it’s on you I need a side view,” I instructed as they focused on Solo as he pulled down his hood. “That is Solo Sikoa the Uso’s younger brother!” Cole announced as I smiled.

“Money shot!” I yelled as Paul laughed at me. “You enjoy this shit entirely too much,” he said as I shrugged my shoulders.

“Pan to Drew then back to Solo, I need that shot between camera twelve and hard camera,” I said watching the ending play out.

“Good call on that,” Paul praised as Joe and Solo walked up the ramp together. “Come on look back Joe,” I muttered to myself as Joe seemingly turned and posed as the fireworks went off.

“Great work! Team pace out shots of Drew and Joe along with Solo to close out in 5,4,3,2,1 and we are out!” I exclaimed, happy that it was over.

I quickly put my headset down and went to wait for them by the curtain.  I ran and hugged Solo as soon as he hit the curtain. “Congratulations!!” I yelled in excitement as he and Joe laughed at me.

“I take It your happy for me,” Solo said laughing as I handed him my phone. “Yes, now call your wife. she’s been blowing me up. She’s so excited,” I said leaning over to giving Joe a hug next.

“Damn, we are leveling up sis. Time for even something bigger,” Joe said as I smiled at him.

“Can you enjoy the moment for a change and stop trying to jump to the next thing,” I said as he shrugged his shoulders at me.

“I can’t help it, I’m excited,” he said as Solo passed me back my phone.

“Sis, it’s your mom,” he said as my heart dropped. “What’s wrong mama?” I asked as Joe’s smile dropped.

“You need to come home,I think this is it baby. We’re at the hospital,” she whimpered as I took a deep breath trying not to lose it listening to my mom cry.

"I love you, and  I’m on my way,” I said now on autopilot as I began moving around trying to gather up my things.

“What did she say?” Joe asked trying to keep up with me as I ignored him. “Shantell stop, what’s wrong?” Joe asked stopping me from moving.

 “They had to take Gram to the hospital and mom thinks this is it,” I whispered as Joe pulled me into a comforting hug as Solo went over to Paul to let him know what was going on.

----

Joe’s POV

Paul sent us home on the jet and it was the longest flight of my life. Shantell was quiet the majority of the time and seemed to be trying to process everything curled up in a seat by the window as we flew over the Atlantic.  

Eventually she fell asleep and I called Jey. I needed to know and prepare for what we were walking into.

“Aye, are ya’ll in the air yet?” Jey asked as I sighed. “Yea, we are we got about three hours left. Shantell is finally asleep, so I wanted to call and see what was going on,” I said trying to keep my voice down.

“Uce, they think this is it. She has sepsis in the colon and at this point all they can do is make her comfortable. It’s anytime now,” Jey whispered as I felt my own tears fall. “Damn it Gram,” I muttered.

“They are waiting for Shantell and her aunt to get here so the doctor can explain everything,” Jey said as I laid back in my seat.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen like this Jey,” I said as I heard the breaking in his voice. “Yea, I know. Ya’ll just get here safe, and I’ll see ya’ll when you get here,” Jey said as I reluctantly hung up.

I was dreading getting off this jet even more after my conversation with him but I knew one was for certain we were all going to be with Shantell through all of this.

----------

Pensacola Memorial Hospital

Jey’s POV

I didn’t know what to say or do as we all gathered into the family consultation room as Shantell and Joe were downstairs and on the way up.

The room quiet as Shantell’s mom and sister sat opposite each other and I could feel the tension between them.

Trin and I looked at each other feeling sad witnessing the moment between the sisters but we were here for Shantell and her mom.

Jimmy came in with Sofia and sat on the other couch. “Shantell wanted to see Gram and should be in shortly. The doctor should be in soon too,” Sofia said as I nodded.

I was so grateful to know Sofia was the RN assigned to Gram tonight. I knew she would be in good hands.

---

Shantell’s POV

“Gram, I’m here,” I whispered as she opened her eyes. She tried to talk as I shushed her to stop trying knowing it was uncomfortable with the  tubes in her mouth and nose.

Her hand reached up and caressed my face as tears began falling from her eyes. I grabbed her hand and kissed it. I knew in that moment she was hanging on for me but was ready to go.

“She’s waiting on you to tell her it’s ok to go babydoll,” Joe muttered wrapping his arms around me. gently placing a kiss on my temple as I broke down in his arms.

“I’m here wit you,” he soothed as I could only nod my pain to great to even put into words, but I knew I had to let her go.

 She looked so tired and not like herself, I couldn’t be selfish. “Gram, are you tired?” I whispered and without hesitation she nodded slowly. Quickly blinking her eyes as more unshed tears escaped them before she looked at me again.  

 “It’s ok Gram, I’m ok….Me, mama and auntie are going to be ok,” I whispered reassuring her as she nodded. Leaning over I gently kissed her forehead and then her cheek.

“I love you,” I whispered as she nodded placing her hand in mine as we sat in silence.

Joe’s text alert went off as he sighed. “The doctor is waiting Shan,” he whispered as I nodded taking a deep breath.  Reaching over I hugged my grandmother. “I’ll be back,” I said as she shook her head at me.

“Gram, please,” I started as she shook her head again as I sighed.

“She don’t want you to see her this way,” Joe whispered as Gram slowly nodded indicating he was right.

Sighing in defeat I gave her a look to let her know the conversation wasn’t over.

Walking to the consultation room I felt numb and couldn’t believe this was really happening.

 Jey’s POV

“They on the way,” I said to Shantell’s mom and aunt. “Good because somebody needs to tell me something,” Shantell’s aunt said as Trin and I shifted uncomfortably in our seats.

I understood how she was feeling but she’s been rude as hell since she’s got here.  

“Why are ya’ll even in here? This is for family only, and you’re not family,” she said looking around at us as I heard Trin sigh in frustration.

 “Lady, don’t make me read you yo’ damn rights up in here,” Sofia started as I reached over and patted her knee. Calm down sis, I whispered as she took a breath shakin’ her head in disbeilf.

 “Ain’t even been here for yo’ mama, and now wanna come in here and take over,” Sofia muttered as Trin cleared her throat trying to mask what Sofia said. Thank god it seemed only Trin, Jimmy and me heard it.

“They here because while you’ve been in Ohio livin’ your life, they’ve been helping Shantell and I take care of mama. Mama loves them all and considers them family and so do I. So, you can either deal with it or get out,” Shantell’s mother said as her sister dropped her head in shame.

“I’m sorry ya’ll this is just a lot, and I meant no harm,” she said as I nodded at her in understanding.

Seeing Shantell and Joe walk in I felt even more helpless. She looked so broken hugging her mom, aunt, and Sofia.

"Thanks for being here ya’ll," she whispered as Jimmy, Trin and I stood up to give her a hug.

“We love you,” Trin whispered as Shantell nodded and sat beside me with Joe on the other side as I grabbed her hand.

I felt her tense as the doctor began talking. I rubbed her hand trying to calm her down as Sofia got up went to stand behind Shantell putting her hands on her shoulders.

“I wish I had better news to report but we found sepsis, and her organs functions are slowing down. Even with treatment if her heart stops, we can’t perform life saving measures,”he said as Shantell’s mom broke down.

“Why is that?  I mean you all have the equipment you need to do what’s necessary,” Shantell’s aunt started as the doctor interrupted her.

“Your mother signed a DNR when we brought her in, and she did another one a couple weeks ago at her last doctor’s appointment. It’s in her records, did she not tell you,” the doctor asked as I saw Shantell shake her head in disbelief. 

“Aww, Gram,”Shantell muttered as her mother was trying to process the inormation the doctor was saying.

“What is a DNR?” her aunt asked as Shantell wiped her tears.  “It means do not resistitate auntie,” she whispered as her aunt scoffed at the notion.

“No! She wouldn’t do that!” she cried as Shantell took over asking the questions. “How long does she have?” Shantell asked as her aunt interrupted.

 “Shantell be quiet It ain’t going to even come to that. Mama is going to bounce back,” she said in denial.

“She is dying! What part of that don’t you understand!” Shantell cried as Sofia rubbed her shoulders.

“It’s ok Shan, just breathe,” Sofia coached as I tightened my grip on her hand as her knee began to bounce nervously as Joe caressed her knee.

“How long does she have doctor?” Tanya asked as the doctor cleared his throat.

“We will be lucky if she makes it through the night,” he responded as Shantell stormed out of the room without another word.

“I got her Uce,” I said stopping Joe from getting up as I went in search of Shantell.

I saw her getting on the elevator, as I rushed to get in before it’s doors closed. Her body leaned against the back wall, her body trembling as she cried..

 Reaching over I hit the emergency button as we stopped.

I knew she needed a minute before we stepped off the elevator to the prying eyes of strangers.

Her tear-filled eyes piercing my soul as her tears flowed like a river down her beautiful face. “Josh” she whimpered enclosing her hands over her face as I closed the distance between us taking her in my arms.

"Let it out baby," I whispered consoling her as her silent cries began to grow louder as she fought against releasing her pain.

A soul crushing scream fell from her lips as I refused to let her go.

“AAAAAH! GRAM!!!” she cried fighting against me as I held her tighter.

“I ain’t letting you go, Shan…. Do you hear me? I got you, I always got you. Just lean on me baby,” I whispered as the woman I loved continued to fall apart in my arms.

“I can’t do this,” Shantell cried as I held her tight.

“You ain’t gotta do it alone, we all here and we gon’ get through this together,” I soothed as she nodded, her hands now gripping my shirt tightly as I rubbed her back.  

Trying to wrangle in her emotions, she pulled away, wiped her tears and began taking deep breaths as she paced the elevator.

It was like she was preparing herself for what she knew she needed to do.

 I watched in awe at the sudden calmness washing over her beautiful face as she cleared her throat and stopped pacing.

Several minutes passed and I knew we needed to turn the elevator back on before they sent out the calvary.

“You ready beautiful?” I asked as she nodded as I restarted the elevator. “Go back up,” she whispered as I hit the seventh floor.

---

 Shantell’s POV

The calmness and peace that washed over the room is something I will never forget. My grandmother’s body stilled as she took her final breath as my mother sliently weeped at the loss of her mom along with her sister.

“Are we calling it?” Sofia asked as the doctor as he finished checking her vitals and looked at the clock.

“Call it…. Time of death 12:35 am September 5,2022 he said as I gently leaned over and kissed my grandmother goodbye before walking out of the room.

“Sis, you ok?” Jimmy asked as I smiled sadly at him and Trin. “She’s gone,” I whispered taking a seat beside Joe and Jey as we all sat in silence and grief.

Damn it Gram, you really got us with this one……

My name is Shantell Johnson and my grandmother Renae “Gram” Johnson died on September 5, 2022, and she took a piece of my heart right along with her.

Taglist: @reci24 @southerngirl41 @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl

@melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo

@arination99 @2-muchsauce @bakugoumarianawrites

@empressdede @alyyaanna @christinabae @anonandwannakeepitthatway @venusesworld @jeyusosgirl  @theninthwonder @mya2real @ trc-punzel

[wooshofficial]

not insanely obscure but as a shoe thief fan i am heavily heavily biased towards snyder briggs / hotbox sato. both smoky fire dudes. i always hc'd that hotbox enjoyed to garden and it would spend a majority of its time outside games and heists doing so, and like. snyder would try to help but as their body heat is so strong they were always better about just helping from a distance and admiring their partners work :] when hotbox was delaced i was super distraught because it was the first blaseball player i got really attached to and i now have a bunch of hcs about snyder still trying to tend to hotbox's gardens and keep its area of the memorials it was found in (both the flowers and the thieves dedicated spots for it in their personal memorials if memory serves). tillman henderson (a secret third member of their weird little fire club) was there for a while to support snyder during the loss of their partner, despite his usual callousness. tillman didnt always get along with everyone, but hes died before and... understands what a horrible experience it really feels like. its fun to play the jerk until youre actually hurting people, and he knew that he wanted to see... his friend (a recent realization to him, after almost being called back to the hall) be happy again.

other than that im also a very strong supporter of tevin melcon / simba davis FRIENDSHIP. simba has been with the team in the shadows for a VERY long time. im talking since before SIBR was documenting shadows. and tevin joining the shadows in the season 10 postseason. i imagine they chilled there for a while, shadows training montage of course with how simba was, and while tevin hates the splort of blaseball, simba is almost consumed by it, which makes for a very strong duality in my eyes because while simba loves the game so much, she sees why tevin despises it and can actively sympathize with xem. when simba officially joined the league in season 13, it left tevin broken in those shadows, and the xe was so happy to see simba again when xe emerged in season [18?] that xe almost forgot xe was called to play the game that they hated most. i think the two of them really cared for one another, not in a romantic way, but looking out for one another both physically and mentally. tevin made sure simba had time for friends and actual teenage experiences, whereas simba made sure tevin was still able to (sometimes) enjoy the game, at least as a shoe thief. they kept each other sane, in a way, to a point where even watching the world start to end before them with the rest of the thieves, they knew that everything would be okay. now, with tevin dropped onto the core, only time will tell if they'll still be able to support each other, but simba davis always finds a way.

Imagine me sitting and nodding very intensely at this. Sometimes you and your friends are fire, smoke, and smokin’ hot respectively and you are the least capable but also the only person who can take care of the garden that is a metaphor for your lost love. And sometimes you are shadow friends doing shadow things (missing each other)

[roseofblogging]

Things keep going from bad to worse. Hard to stay on top of killing two gods when they're making things a mess everywhere for everyone on the team.

((I'm enjoying how a lot of this is connected.))

First, Rook heads to Minrathous with Neve to track down information about a man who was suddenly abducted from the Cobbled Swan, a local eatery Rook was familiar with and had been to on occasion. The Threads, a local gang, essentially, often set up in the area, which meant some of them went to that establishment, but the Threads are sort of everywhere. It's hard to know who's a part of them. Neve's much more knowledgeable on that, and she's certainly got enough respect from various people in and out of the Threads to give her information on them.

The Threads having a hold on Dock town, one part of the Teviner capital of Minrathous, has pluses and minuses. They're still a gang, and while Rook can't exactly talk--being a Shadow Dragon--they don't necessarily have the best morals. No organization was safe from corruption of their ideals or using their ideals as an excuse to hurt those who need saving, but at least the Shadow Dragons leadership had a very explicit mission of abolishing slavery in Tevinter. (Rook actually stumbled upon a reporting of some magisterium proceedings--Dorian Pavus had looked this close to decking a fellow magister for saying slavery was a part of Tevinter culture. She knew she liked that guy. Most magisters suck, and sure, Dorian doesn't fully get it; she heard he used to think that the abolishment of slavery was something that needed to be done slowly. But at least Dorian is using the power he has to fight for what's right.)

But the Threads? They don't have some wider goal. They say they care about Dock Town, and some of them do. They take care of their own, and a whole lot of them are people with little to no power. But they've been growing as a group, enough that the townspeople are afraid to talk badly of them. That's not a good sign.

Still, Neve and Rook were able to hunt down leads that eventually led them to some Threads members, who informed them that the Threads hadn't abducted that man from the Swan. Well, not really. The man they'd abducted was the current leader of the Threads, and some Threads members had been missing for a while. Maybe they were the ones who abducted him...

Neve's been involved in a lot of operations both on her own and for the Shadow Dragons over the years. It's hard to not have heard of Neve Gallus when you live in Dock Town; the papers both raved about her and hated her. Rook skimmed over plenty of hit pieces on her crush in the past, long before she ever actually met the woman. There was one case that got away from her--a dangerous blood mage Venatori who Neve had caught only with the help of a couple Templars willing to help her out independently of their order. The mage escaped, and one of the templars died--something that clearly still haunted Neve.

The blood mage Aelia has returned to seek vengeance on Neve, gain more power from blood magic, and seize a greater hold over the Tevinter Empirium. But blood magic and Tevinter went hand in hand. Rook rolled her eyes every time she heard a magister accuse others of using blood magic when so many of them were in on it! Some even believed--not that they'd shout this from the rooftops--that blood magic was their right as powerful mages. It was a part of Tevinter history. It was also a ferociously powerful magic capable of some truly unspeakable horrors. She saw those horrors in Dock Town with Neve that day. Rook had never before seen someone use blood magic at a distance to puppet another person. It was like the Threads leader, Damas, was a doll. She'd been doing the same to other abducted Threads members; Aelia was using the Threads to do her dirty work so that nothing traced back to the Venatori.

Aelia also accused Neve of playing the status quo, of not wanting to strengthen the people in Dock Town or Tevinter--complete nonsense. Rook had seen the horror on her face when the dragon had been tearing through Dock Town. It was a miracle they were able to save so much of the place. Someone who only possessed cynicism wouldn't be on a first-name basis with so many people who trusted her. Neve wasn't as optimistic as, say, Bellara was, but hope was in short supply these days. Rook isn't feeling so optimistic herself anymore. But still, Neve proves time and time again that while many things about Dock Town disappoint her, she loves the people there.

Speaking of...when Damas regained control and the blood magic faded away, he offered to pay Neve back by unleashing some dirt he had on a politician she and Rook had failed to put away recently. Rook urged her to take on the offer. As always, Neve had her Templar friend Rana's back and made sure Damas would guarantee the evidence wouldn't fall back on Rana. And the evidence worked--another member of that awful mage cult would be taken off the streets, away from people they could hurt.

But Neve knew by doing this, the Threads would continue to look better and better, which meant they'd keep amassing power. What if they use that power for ill? Rook didn't have an answer for that--just that she'd stay by Neve's side and help her with anything she needed for Minrathous...but also for her sake.

It was none other than one of the gods who was granting such power to the Venatori. But the gods' magics had awoken some other troubling powers...

However, they still had each other. And while they'd cast several longing looks at one another, they were definitely professional. Yep. Definitely professional.

That is, until all the wisps floating around Neve's office in the Lighthouse made the light on her face look so pretty, Rook couldn't help getting swept up in the moment. They leaned toward each other, and--

Well, a wisp startled them. Maybe another time.

Rook and Bellara, upon Bellara's urging that some of her fellow Veil Jumpers had gone missing in Arlathan Forest for a week, rushed to their last known spot and found their packs as well as a lot of shades looking to do harm. The forest was so hostile now.

They found Irelin and Strife encased in some kind of magical device or barrier, and they fought an onslaught of demons and shades until they were able to deactivate the device, freeing the two Veil Jumpers.

Then they heard a voice. It wasn't one Rook knew, but Bellara turned like she couldn't believe her ears. She looked ready to cry.

Her brother--the brother she'd told Rook had died in an artifact maintenance mistake--was there. He was wearing a strange mask--an ugly shade of bronze, frankly--and he had company, a Forgotten One named Anaris. The Forgotten Ones held massive amounts of power as the gods of the Evanuris did, but they were so evil and corrupt with their powers that even the gods didn't want them around. Solas had locked them away when he banished the gods, but it looked like some were running about now...and one had its hooks in Bellara's brother, Cyrian.

Cyrian was helping Anaris in killing Veil Jumpers, but Cyrian didn't seem to be aware of the harm he was causing, not that it excused him of his misdeeds.

Bellara had always spoken so proudly of her brother while she carried the guilt for his death. For him to return only to be killing their comrades... Rook couldn't imagine the pain she felt, but it was clear as day on her face.

Unlike Aelia's blood magic, the mask couldn't completely control its wearer, but it was an ancient elven artifact that had started working again ever since Ghilan'nain and Elgar'nan escaped Solas's prison. Was there anything left of Rook's culture that didn't have ties to forcing people to do things against their will?

Bellara has resolved to face Cyrian again and break his heart free of Anaris's influence. As said, Rook's short on optimism these days. When Irelin asked Bellara what she'd do if that failed, Bellara did not have a reply. It would be far too hard to put that on her.

At the end of the night, Rook found a note crumpled on the ground in the Lighthouse. It was a letter from Bellara addressed to her brother, likely written as a way of processing her feelings over...all of this.

"When I thought that you'd died? I dreamt of this moment. Every night I'd go to sleep, and you'd be alive. Then I'd wake up, and you were gone." [Rook's heart panged.] "It hurt. Every day I lost you again. I never thought anything could feel worse than that. But I was wrong. Seeing you alive today--and then finding out that you're working with someone like Anaris--that hurt more... You had a choice... You chose Anaris. Over us, and over me."

No one should have to feel that way.

Dragon Age: The Veilguard liveblog

Hello! I often post Splatoon stuff here or reblog Tales RPG stuff, but I'm currently sucked into Dragon Age: The Veilguard and want to dump my thoughts on my game somewhere that I can look back on later.

If you want to avoid these either because of spoilers or because you just do not want to see it, I'll be using the tags: rose plays veilguard and dragon age: the veilguard spoilers, and you can blacklist those.

With that said, here we go!

The background for my Rook: She's a mage originally from a Dalish clan that greatly worships Elgar'nan, the father of the elven pantheon, god of vengeance, justice, retribution, and the sun. She grew up eagerly taking the vallislin and vowed to help the helpless, invoking Elgar'nan's name when doing so. (All the while, I, giggle at the sheer irony of how she'd hate the Evanuris--whom she currently worships--for them having been slavers.)

After she moved away to see more of the world, she found herself loving both the glitz and the grime of Minrathous in the Tevinter Empirium: the street markets were nothing like she'd ever encountered at home, and she became enamored.

Then she learned about the much darker side of Tevinter, and the fact that slavery was still legal there infuriated her. That's when she joined the Shadow Dragons and eventually made a name for herself freeing a bunch of slaves, going against the Shadow Dragons' plan to go slower and avoid attention. She doesn't regret freeing people, but she recognizes her actions had consequences for the Shadow Dragons and probably endangered a lot of people after she was forced to flee the city.

She's looked up to Varric ever since he found her and asked her to help them track down Solas. She's not fond of essentially being the leader in his place now, and she goes to him for advice a lot. He always manages to cheer her up no matter how much she beats herself up.

We're still early in the game's story, and while Solas didn't outright say at the start that the elven gods enslaved people, she got the sense the stories she'd grown up learning weren't entirely true. Now that she's lived through a couple of Solas's memories of fighting back against Elgar'nan, she has very mixed feelings about her prior hero-worship of the Evanuris father (she still does not know the truth about vallislin's origins). Time will tell how she'll feel eventually having to face Elgar'nan himself, now that he's escaped Solas's imprisonment.

She finds Solas pretty irritating and full of himself, but her conversations with him in the Fade have made her see him for more of who he is: a very old man who wanted to save people but is ultimately fallible and prone to mistakes like anyone, including severe lapses in judgment and an inability to listen to people he views as far younger, far more inexperienced, and deluded by a millennium of lies passed down as culture. For which he's right! That irritates her even more.

Where we're at now: Varric is injured and out of battle for what seems to be a long time. Harding has become a sweet friend, and Rook is looking forward to learning more about this strange stone magic she acquired from Solas's ancient dagger.

Neve, oh my gosh *swoon* aaaa. Kinda crushing hardcore. Excited about working with another person from the Shadow Dragons, especially someone with such fantastic inductive reasoning skills. We're aligned on some major core values. Both fiercely love Minrathous.

Bellara is incredibly sweet! Crushing--not sure if romantic or platonic, but definitely wanna learn more about her. The way she rambles is adorable. She's a fantastic tinkerer, brilliant, and full of life with a sense of adventure. Her enthusiasm is infectious!

Lucanis...yet another *swoon* He's only just joined, so Rook doesn't know much about him yet, and having a contract killer with a demon living in his head is concerning, but she's trying not to be judgmental about it. After her first one-on-one with him, she's feeling like he has a really good handle on that situation, though she feels awful for him and how he's constantly sleep-deprived because of that situation. She plans to sit down with him for coffee on the regular. (My own thoughts from being able to see the interactions with Spite: OH MY GOSH LOL he's hot) Plus, he takes his work seriously, and it's not like he wants ancient elves unleashing the worst Blight upon the world, worse than any of us can imagine. So, she can work with him, and she's got a good vibe about him at the moment. It's not like she hasn't killed people before.

[leechobsessed]

Chapter 1

“Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path.”

characters: Cora Crawford words: ~2.9k warnings: mentions of abuse and drowning, suicidal ideation

notes: It’s Cora’s birthday, so here’s chapter one of her story! Don’t know Cora yet? Take a peek at her bio here.

The Crab Isles are not a friendly place. 

Nothing about the climate, nor the people for that matter, are welcoming. Found further south than the Scrougelands, the weather is bitterly cold almost year round, making the main livelihood of the islands— crab fishing, as it would be— to be exceptionally dangerous, difficult, and undesirable work. 

The attitudes of the island’s inhabitants have only been made worse by the remarks and jokes of the rest of the world; the Crabmen were actually half crab, but whether that half be the top or bottom depended on who you asked. 

That bit, of course, was not true. Yet much like the crabs the people fished for, they had developed a hard, almost impermeable shell around themselves, turning their community into a collectively abrasive group. Fiercely protective of their own, intimidating to and wary of anyone else. 

The South is unforgiving, and the people who live there have adapted to their harsh environment, becoming harsh and unforgiving themselves. They were a collectively stubborn, selfish and superstitious bunch, quickly weeding out and eliminating what they perceived to be dangerous in order to ensure the survival of their community. 

And to them, nothing was more dangerous than Cora. 

Cora Crawford came into the world silent, an omen of bad luck that was only fed into when she was discovered to have been born with The Mark. In the center of her palms, a small black circle, almost resembling a bruise, perhaps a touch of dirt, easily missed by the casual observer. But the elders knew this was a mark of dark magic, a soul that came into this world tainted. Evil.

Her parents tried to deny it; not their child, it couldn’t be. No one in the Crawford family had shown a propensity for magic in almost a century, but here she was, undeniably touched by dark forces, silently observing the world with her hauntingly pale blue eyes. 

Her father wanted her drowned, as did the elders, but her mother wouldn’t allow it— or so she was told. She found it hard to believe her parents would have ever fought over her life, given how little they cared for it now. 

The Mark was rarely seen in the Crab Isles, but was spoken about often. Those with The Mark were said to be stronger than the heaviest winds, more destructive than the fiercest storm, as unpredictable and uncontrollable as the sea. Though her parents tried desperately to deny it, to hide it, the rumor that the Crawford’s girl had The Mark spread through the village like wildfire. 

Even if they weren’t sure it was true, those in the community ignored and avoided her, terrified of what she was and what she was capable of. And Cora was scared too. For the first twelve years of her life, she was constantly reminded how dangerous she was and she was silenced, hidden, forbidden to use any magic, even as she could feel it crackling under her skin like lightning, threatening to burst free at any moment.  

The power was overwhelming, and she had no way to control it, no one to teach her how. Cora tried, she really tried, to keep her magic hidden, and was successful more often than not. When she did give in and lost control, allowed the power to be free for only a moment, she was punished severely. Her parents hissed foul curses at her as they beat her, reminding her how horrible and evil she was, how she was a threat and hated by everyone around her. 

But every beating only seemed to make her magic stronger and harder to tame. And her mark only continued to grow. 

What had started as a faint black spot had begun to crawl through the veins of her palms, spreading to her fingertips, turning them black from the tips of her nails to the second knuckle. She knew the mark only grew when she practiced magic, but it didn’t grow every time. She couldn’t predict when it would or wouldn’t spread, and she had no one to ask about it. So instead, she continued to cover the marks and pretend that she didn’t terrify even herself.  

This morning, as usual, Cora wakes up earlier than the rest of the household to start her chores, knowing not having them done before breakfast will mean nothing but trouble for her. She sits up in bed and stretches before sliding out of the covers to get dressed. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she pulls her heavy flannels on, then her coat, her hat, her mud boots and finally her gloves before she sneaks down the stairs and out the back door toward the henhouse. 

The hens are all huddled together in the coops, unwilling to be outside any longer than necessary. And Cora doesn’t blame them. The weather this time of year is hovers just above freezing, violent storms prone to rolling in from the sea at any time. She stands out in the yard, looking dubiously up at the sky, her hair standing on end from the electricity in the air. 

She quickly spreads fresh feed for them and she collects the eggs the hens have laid in her basket before she jogs further down the hill to the barn. The barn used to house about a dozen goats until her younger sister was born, and her parents decided they didn’t need the stress of more mouths to feed. 

Truthfully, she was surprised they didn’t get rid of her instead, but she supposed her being able to work on the boat was more helpful to the family than the small amount of money they made from selling the goat’s milk.

Cora missed the goats. They liked her because she fed them, let her lay on them when her father made her sleep outside, and wouldn’t tattle on her if she used their space to practice magic, which is something she couldn’t say about her seven year old sister. 

The golden child of the Crawford family, she thinks, rolling her eyes.

The barn is now used to store fishing gear, but it’s still a suitable place to practice her magic if she really wanted, and usually she would. But the lashings on her back from when her sister caught her the week prior have just started to heal, and she really isn’t looking to get any more. At least not today.

Instead, she gently lies back on a pile of netting to stare up at the worn wood of the barn ceiling, pulling off her gloves to call a small orange flame to her fingertips. She lets the flame dance across the black tips of her fingers for a moment, extinguishing the illusion quickly when she hears someone approach. 

She wrestles her gloves back on and stands up quickly, picking up the basket of eggs, just as her older brother enters the barn. He studies her for a moment as he leans against the doorframe. 

“Ma is lookin’ for the eggs.”

She nods quickly, fumbling with her gloves and the basket. “I’m comin’.”

“I know. I just wanted to find you before Pa came out.” He takes the basket of eggs from her to allow her to fix her gloves properly, watching her with the same green eyes as their father, though his look more kindly on her. 

Cora offers him a small smile, nodding in thanks. 

Tevin had always been good to her. He was very protective of his younger sister, understanding from a very young age that she was being treated unfairly and unkindly by the people who were supposed to love and care for her most. Everyone in town, including their parents, thought she was dangerous and evil, but he knew her, and he knew she wasn’t, even if she didn’t.

But after speaking up in her defense a few too many times, and receiving just as many beatings for it, Cora told him to stop.

“It’s not like it helps anyway,” she had said. 

“Ma is making us breakfast,” Tevin says, looking back toward the house. “We shouldn’t let it get cold.” Cora nods and follows her brother out of the barn and up the hill, picking up the pace as thunder rumbles off in the distance. 

The two children enter the kitchen to find their mother preparing their morning oats, their younger sister Orla reading quietly from a book at the table. Riona glances at the two of them, her thin lips pulling into a frown as she takes the basket from Tevin. “I was waitin’ on those.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” Cora says, taking her bowl from the counter and heading to her usual spot at the window.

Tevin takes his own bowl from the counter and follows his sisters lead. He joins her to sit on the windowsill, despite having a spot at the table he’s expected to be placed at. “Happy birthday, Cora,” Tevin says, loud enough to pull the attention of their mother toward him. She frowns at her son before turning around to crack an egg in the pan in front of her. “What’re you now, eleven?”

“Thirteen,” she mumbles around a mouthful of oats, which makes Tevin smile. 

Cora returns the smile before turning her focus back on her food. He looks just like their father, with the same strong jaw and dark hair, but Tevin smiles so much more that you’d hardly believe they were related. 

“Have they said anything to you? About your birthday?” He asks, lowering his voice, although he already knows the answer. Their parents have never celebrated Cora’s birthday, but he keeps hoping one year things will change, for his sister’s sake. Cora glances at him briefly before shoveling another spoonful of oats into her mouth. 

Cora doesn’t have to look up from her breakfast to know that Calder had entered the room. She can tell by the way his physical presence darkens the atmosphere of whatever room he walks into instantly, but her eyes fly up toward him nonetheless. He has his long, dark hair tucked into his cap, fully dressed for a day at sea, his emerald eyes flashing dangerously when he sees Tevin sitting next to Cora. He says nothing to anyone as he sits down, his back to his eldest children, his front toward Orla and his wife.

“Where d’you think you’re goin’?” Riona asks, raising a blond eyebrow at the man. 

“Out on the boat,” he responds matter-of-factly, shifting his large body slightly to peak at the book his daughter is reading.

Riona frowns, setting down the plate of eggs in front of her husband. “What d’you mean you’re goin’ out today? Have you seen the storm rollin’ in?”

“Aye, I have. Which only means that there’ll be fewer boats out and more for us to catch. Tevin, Cora, get your things, we’re leavin’.” He shovels the eggs into his mouth in three bites before pushing himself back form the table, heading out the door before anyone can respond. 

From his perch on the windowsill, Tevin frowns at the door his father just left through, before he and Cora turn to glance back out the window of their small house. The rising sun is completely obscured behind obsidian clouds, the only light coming from the frequent strikes of lightening on the horizon. 

“He’s bloody mad, that man,” he murmurs under his breath, just loud enough for Cora to hear. 

She smirks in response, lowering her head to hide her humor. “I could’ve told you that,” she whispers back. The siblings simultaneously hop down off the windowsill and place their bowls on the counter. Cora he follows her brother out of the kitchen and to their bedroom, waiting patiently as he pulls their fishing gear off the shelves and brings it over to her.

“Someone is gonna to die if we go out there,” he sighs, sitting down on the floor to pull his coveralls on over his flannels. 

“Maybe that’s what he’s hopin’,” she sighs back, pulling her boots on. She hisses as Tevin smacks her arm with the back of his hand, and she hits him back on his thigh. “Don’t pretend he isn’t.”

He shakes his head, lacing up his own boots. “They don’t want you dead, Cora.”

“You’re just as mad as Pa if you think that’s true.”

Tevin sits up straight to look his sister in the eyes. “I don’t want you dead.”

Cora pauses for half a second before shrugging her heavy outerwear on. She adjusts her gloves, keeping her eyes turned toward the floor. “That I believe.”

Tevin gives her shoulder a squeeze as he stands up. “Come on. We don’t want to keep him waitin’.”

The docks are full of boats and void of people, which is exactly what Cora had expected. It’s started to rain by the time she and her brother climb aboard their father’s fishing boat, and they immediately set about their usual tasks to help the rest of the crew get the boat quickly out into sea. 

“Oy, Tev! Cora!” A voice calls, and the siblings turn to find the first mate approaching them, fighting the wind to pull their long red hair back away from their face. “What in the name of the god’s is yer pa thinkin’?”

“I wish I could tell you,” Tevin responds with a shrug.

They shake their head, looking out to sea as Calder steers the ship out of the harbor. “He’s bloody mad.” 

“That’s what I said,” Tevin says, pushing his already soaked hair out of his eyes. “How soon d’you reckon he realizes this won’t work?”

“Not soon enough,” they answer grimly, giving the siblings each a pat on the shoulder before heading toward the bow to help get the fishing nets ready.

Once out of the break wall, the storm is worse than Cora could have imagined. The wind is strong enough to knock the ship over on its own, but the waves are doing their part to help out, crashing onto the deck every few seconds, making it impossible to cast any nets. The storm is howling too loud to hear anything over the wind, and the relentless splashing of salt water is making it difficult for Cora to keep her eyes open.

We’re all going to die here, Cora finds herself thinking. Not just me.

“Cora! We’ve got to get below deck!” Tevin screams, his hand wrapping firmly around her wrist. “Come on!”

Cora does her best to open her eyes as her brother drags them across the deck, pausing every few feet to grab onto something sturdy as another wave floods the ship. 

Suddenly, his hand is gone from her wrist, and she screams for him, panicked that the waves may have taken him overboard. She can hear every other word of her father’s booming yell as he approaches, and is relieved to hear Tevin screaming back in response. 

With one arm wrapped as much as it can be around the mast, she opens her eyes against the wind, using her free hand to shield her eyes, trying unsuccessfully to make out either her brother or her father through the relentless downpour.

Without warning, a pair of large hands grab her by her upper arms, and she blinks furiously at them, thrashing in their hold. Her skin goes cold as she finds herself staring into her father’s green eyes. He says nothing, just holds her about a foot off the ground, seemingly oblivious to the storm raging around them. 

“Pa!” She hears Tevin call out. “Pa!”

“I should have killed you when you were born,” Calder hisses, his deep voice ringing out clear over the wind. 

“Pa!” Tevin shrieks, his voice panicked. “Let her go!”

Calder keeps his eyes on his daughter, on his burden, his curse, his greatest shame. Cora knows better than to say anything, so instead, she clenches her jaw and holds his gaze. And then she begins to silently pray,  her tears mixing with the salt from the sea, asking the gods to have mercy on her.

As another wave crashes over top of the ship, Calder does just what Tevin asked. He takes two steps toward the side of the ship and throws her with ease over the side, allowing the force of the wave to carry her overboard.

Cora Crawford has thought about death more than any child ever should. She thought she deserved to die, that the world would be better off without her. She considered ways she could make death come for her sooner, but she never followed through. The idea of death was terrifying to her. If she was evil in this life, what would be waiting for her in the next? 

As she hits the water, the air is forced from her lungs, immediately sending her into a panic. She struggles against the water, trying to kick up toward the surface, but the weight of her clothing and the movement of the sea keeps beating her down further and further, until she can’t tell which direction the surface is. 

And the realization hits her; I’m going to die.

Knowing this, she stops fighting, allows her body to relax and lets the current take her where it may. Suddenly, all she feels is calm, protected even, cocooned by the silence and movement of the water. No one could hurt her here. She couldn’t hurt anyone. Even if the next life was worse than this one, she had this fleeting moment to finally feel safe, from herself and everyone else. 

Exhaling the last bit of oxygen left in her chest, Cora lets the darkness she was born from reclaim her. 

[samwilsonsbabymama]

The One

First Meet ~ Part 1/10

For Real by Amel Larrieux

Can We Talk by Tevin Campbell

Talkin to Me by Amerie

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Prince!Sam Wilson x Princess!Black Reader and a Soulmate AU

Summary: Princess Y/N of Mayennya has never been in love before and she’s tired of waiting. She is tired of watching as everyone around her falls in love while she remains alone. When her cousins, King T’Challa and Prince N’Jadaka, come to ring in the new year, they bring along a new face. And with one look, Princess Y/N is smitten.

Warnings: FLUFF!!!!!!!

A/N: This fic was inspired by this post and by the fact that I have been CRAVING a fluffy Prince!Sam Wilson fic FOREVER!!! So this is my take on it. Big thanks to @tgigoldie for reading this and cheering me on and giving me validation lol also big thanks to @raysunshine78 for helping (making) the playlist for this fic lol

You looked eagerly around the ballroom amazed. You never got used to how magnificent the room looked after it had been decorated. It was time to celebrate the new year, and the tradition in your kingdom was to celebrate for an entire week. This celebration included everyone in the kingdom and neighboring kingdoms. Everyone was invited to join the festivities in the castle. This week-long celebration gave everyone the chance to relax and get to know one another. You had invited your friends from college to come to celebrate with you and you were excited to see them again. 

Your cousins, T'Challa, N'Jadaka, and Shuri, and your Aunt Ramonda, from the kingdom of Wakanda, had been the first to respond to their invitation and they would be arriving within the next few days. They had been very busy since King T’Chaka had passed nearly four years ago. Soon after his passing, your cousin T’Challa had become king and opened Wakanda’s borders to the rest of the world. It had been a sign that they were ready to show the world what had kept their kingdom thriving since the beginning of time. Few people knew that Wakanda had been built on top of a mountain of the most indestructible metal in the world. Everyone knew that Vibranium had existed once upon a time, but, no one knew that Wakanda had spent thousands of years mining it. Wakandans were afraid that if they had shared their resources with the rest of the world, they would have been colonized and exploited. So, Wakanda had kept up the front that they were a poor kingdom, and always refused aid from other kingdoms.

You were also excited to see the two Princes of Asgard, Thor and Loki, but they wouldn’t be coming until later in the week. Growing up, they had often kept you entertained with their constant fighting. Hanging around the two, you could tell that they loved each other. You knew Loki looked up to his older brother, Thor, and that Thor adored Loki. Growing up, Thor was the loud and in your face type, where Loki was the more reserved and quiet type. You had a lot in common with both Princes, and you loved spending time with both of them. It had been years since you had seen them and the last you had heard, Thor had become King of Asgard.

Above all else, you were excited to see your best friends, Wanda and Pietro, from the neighboring Kingdom of Sokovia. You had met the twins in school when you went away to college, and the three of you had become thick as thieves. You and Wanda were roommates during your entire time in college which is how you met Pietro. Wanda studied Psychology, while you chose to follow your life’s passion. Pietro, though, being the athletic person that he was, chose to study sports management. The three of you had spent so much time together, that you became their unofficial triplet.

You continued to walk around the ballroom, your excitement for the party increased with each minute.

"I'm constantly amazed at how beautiful this place is before a party."

You turned and smiled at the woman beside you. "I feel the same way, Naliyah. You've always had an eye for these things."

"That I have, sister," she chuckled before she slipped her arm through yours. "Walk with me."

The two of you walked through the ballroom doors and into the garden. You walked along the path for a few moments before she continued.

“You were probably too young to remember this, but when we were younger, you got lost in these gardens,” she chuckled. “Mother and father had thrown one of their infamous parties for your birthday and the kingdom celebrated well into the morning. But, after everyone had gone home, no one could find you. I remember we searched for what seemed like hours looking for you, only to find you curled up under a bench sleeping. Mother and father fussed after you for a week straight after we found you. They never found out how you slipped out of the ballroom without anyone noticing.”

You smiled at the mention of your parents, “I miss them so much, Naliyah. It’s been so hard without them.”

“It has,” she affirmed. “This has been the most difficult thing we’ve ever had to do, but I have you and you have me.”

“You also have your husband, Naliyah, and soon you’ll have a son as well,” you responded.

“And you’ll still have me, Y/N,” Naliyah assured you. “No one will ever come between us."

"If you say so," you mumbled.

Naliyah sighed as if she was going to continue, but she didn't. The two of you walked in silence for a few minutes before she spoke once more.

"Are you happy, Y/N?" she asked.

"What?"

"Are you happy?" she repeated. "I mean, after everything that's happened, you walk around as if everything is okay. But is everything okay? Jackson and I are worried about you, Y/N."

You halted your movements and looked at your sister. Really looked at her. To the average person, your sister would look to be her normal self. Well, as normal as a Queen could look. But to you, someone that has spent their entire life with her knew better.

"I'm content," you admitted after a few moments of thinking.

“That’s not good enough, Y/N,” Naliyah scolded. “You deserve happiness.”

“It’s extremely hard to be happy when everyone around you has someone,” you responded. How could she not see that?

“What are you talking about?”

You sighed, “What I’m talking about is I’ve never felt that I’ve truly belonged anywhere. I mean, how could I when everyone around me has had their soulmate practically handed to them?”

You hugged yourself and turned away from her. “Everyone I love has their soulmate. I’m tired of waiting.”

“Y/N, you have to be patient,” Naliyah said in an attempt to console you.

“Do you know how many times I've heard that?” you cried. “It’s all I've been hearing my entire life, and I'm sick of it!”

“Pardon the intrusion, Your Majesty, Your Highness,” a voice interrupted you. “Your guests are beginning to arrive for the celebration.

You let out a deep sigh before dismissing the messenger with a ‘THANK YOU.’

“Y/N,” your sister started.

“I think Wanda and Pietro are here,” you cut her off. “They said they’d be here today.” you turned and left without waiting for her reply.

Upon reentering the castle, you were engulfed in a tight embrace. You knew who held you at that moment, and without any warning, you released all the tears that you had been holding in. 

“My sweet girl, what’s wrong?” Wanda’s thick accent washed over you as you cried. You felt her lead you away from the entrance to one of the many rooms nearby, and you didn’t attempt to answer her until your tears had subsided. By the time you were finished, Pietro had found and joined you two, and he had perched himself on the floor next to you. 

Wanda and Pietro knew how much not having your soulmate affected you. You had spent many nights talking about it in college. At first, you didn’t mind because you thought you would find someone during your time there. But as the years passed, and nothing had changed, your view on the matter got dimmer.

“Y/N,” Pietro spoke first. “I know this is hard, and you hate hearing it, but you have to be patient. This is one of those things that you can’t force. You have no control over this, and you just have to wait.”

You pouted because you knew he was right. “I don’t like it, Pietro.”

“I know, but when you do get to meet your soulmate, it’ll be that much sweeter.” You nodded in acceptance. “I’ll tell you what,” he continued. “I’ll be your date to the party tomorrow night. We’ll dance the night away and forget all your troubles.”

“That sounds nice,” you agreed. Spending time with Wanda and Pietro always made you feel better. You just hoped you could make it through the party.

~~~~~

The party had been going on for hours, and you still hadn’t seen or heard from T’Challa or N'Jadaka. Upon their arrival, Shuri and Aunt Ramonda reassured you that N’Jadaka and T’Challa would be there soon.

As the night wore on, Pietro kept his promise and danced with you. You felt a bit bad for occupying his time, but he reassured you that he didn’t mind. After one particularly long dance with Pietro and Wanda, you made your way to the refreshments. While you ate and drank, you watched your guests mingle and dance with each other. A smile fell onto your lips because you loved seeing everyone so happy. An energy in the room filled your heart with joy. You had been buzzing all night with excitement and something that you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but you didn’t waste your time thinking about it. You pushed the feeling to the back of your mind and continued to enjoy the celebration. You were so focused on watching everyone enjoy themselves, that you didn’t realize that you weren’t alone anymore.

“You always did have a sweet tooth, Y/N,” a familiar voice rumbled next to you. 

“I remember that too. I also remember she would never share with us, T,” N'Jadaka responded while he laughed.

“T’Challa! N'Jadaka!” you exclaimed as you hugged them separately. “I’ve missed you two so much! I thought you were going to miss the party!”

They both chuckled. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world, Y/N. Next year, you must come to Wakanda for the New Year celebrations,” T’Challa requested.

“You remember Okoye and Ayo?” N'Jadaka asked as he stepped aside allowing you to see the two women.

“Of course I remember them; they taught me how to defend myself,” you smiled as you reached forward to embrace the two women. They were members of the Dora Milaje, the all-women warriors that served and protected the King of Wakanda. You’d spent countless days training with Okoye and Ayo before you went off to college.

“What took you so long to get here?” you asked before you resumed eating.

“We had to make a stop in Verona,” N’Jadaka answered. “T needed to pick up a friend before we got here.”

“Why was Nakia in Verona?” you asked.

“We didn’t pick up Nakia, but she will be joining us tomorrow,” T’Challa clarified. “I had to pick up an old college buddy, but I seem to have lost him in the crowd.” T’Challa scanned the crowd looking for his friend. You were eager to meet this buddy of his. 

“There he is,” T’Challa stated as he raised his hand to wave someone over. 

You turned in the direction that they were looking in and froze. You watched as the man came closer and you swallowed the lump in your throat. The buzzing feeling that you had tried to ignore all evening intensified. Your eyes traveled over his suit covered body as he approached the group. He had to be at least 6 feet tall, broad shoulders, and smooth dark brown skin. You snapped out of your daze when he finally reached the group.

“Princess Y/N, this is my good friend Prince Samuel Wilson of Verona,” T’Challa began his introductions. “Prince Samuel, this is my younger cousin, Princess Y/N of Mayennya.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Prince Samuel,” you squeaked as you locked eyes with him. You felt your heart thrum when the buzzing stopped. His lips quirked as if he knew what you were feeling. As if he felt it too. You swallowed thickly as you slowly raised your hand and placed it in his and you shivered. You heard your heart thud against your chest when he placed a kiss to your knuckles. Time stood still as he pulled back and ran his thumb over your knuckles.

“Pleasure’s all mine, Princess,” he responded, his voice low, without breaking eye contact.

“Please, call me ‘Y/N’,” you said, your voice just above a whisper.

“Only if you call me ‘Sam’,” he replied with a wink as he let your hand go. 

You nodded your head and smiled. “So, Sam, are you planning on staying for the entire week? Or are you returning to Verona soon?”

“I hadn’t planned on staying,” he began and licked his lips before he continued. “But I am finding Mayennya holds more beauty than I once thought.”

You ducked your head and smiled at his words. Of all the parties your kingdom has hosted, what was it about this one that made Prince Samuel come?

You were jolted out of your thoughts when you heard someone call your name from behind you. You looked over your shoulder and you spotted Wanda and Pietro heading your way. When they reached you, you introduced them to the group before you slipped back into your thoughts. You snuck glances at Sam as everyone talked and enjoyed each other’s company. He was like no other man you’d met before. He had an infectious sense of humor that had everyone laughing, and his smile lit up his entire face. He was charming and handsome, and there was something pulling you towards him. Something that you couldn’t see, but you felt it.

As the night wore on, you felt yourself becoming restless. You wanted to dance, but Pietro had been snagged by one of the many other girls in attendance. You pursed your lips a bit as you continued to sway to the music.

“Would you care to dance?” 

Sam’s sudden voice jolted you from your thoughts, and you refocused your eyes on him. He stood in front of you as everyone in the group watched. You stood there staring at him for a moment before you felt a nudge on your side prompting you to answer.

“Um, yes?” It came out as a question and your face warmed in embarrassment. You cleared your throat and responded again. “Yes, I would love to.”

His smile lit up his face as he took hold of your hand and guided you to the dance floor. You looked over your shoulder at Wanda as she smiled at the two of you. Your heart was hammering in your chest. What was it about this man? You’d just met him, and he had such an effect on you. 

Sam hummed as he lifted your hands to his shoulders, his hands found their home on your hips. He swayed back and forth to the music, and you couldn’t help but lay your head on his chest. You listened to the beating of his heart as your eyes slid closed. You felt a sense of calm wash over you as his hands slid to pull you closer to him. 

You felt safe. How is it that you could feel so safe with someone that you just met? You opened your eyes and looked up at him to find him already staring at you. He had a gentle smile on his lips as if he knew what you were thinking.

“This feels right,” he said.

And it clicked, because it did feel right.

[nerdierholler]

OC Interview Questions

I was tagged but @heraldofwho​ (thank you!) and I’m tagging @slothssassin​, @katajanokka​ , @dickeybbqpit​, and @bronzeagelove​ plus anyone else who just wants to!  I’m going to go with post-Trespasser Ithlen, because I miss her.

In a camp, somewhere near the Teviner border with a small band of scouts from the former Inquisition.

name ➔  Ithlen Lavellan Mahariel are you single ➔  There’s a sad smile, “Yes, I am.” are you happy ➔ Happy as I can be, given the circumstances. When your work consumes your time and identity, happiness can be hard to define. Things are going well, plans are being made, and I still have the luxury of enjoying the small things in life. are you angry ➔ At the moment, no. In general, sometimes. It’s always there under the surface, anger about the way parts of my life have played out, the reasoning leading up to our current state of affairs, the fact that I have once more taken on another seemingly impossible task that few will fully comprehend or thank me for should I be successful. It’s too easy to be consumed by those thoughts, and there have been times in my life when that has been the case. I try to stay focused on the task at hand these days. are your parents still married ➔ Still? They never were. I wonder how much different my life would have been had they been allowed to. The world might be a very different place as a result.

More under the cut!

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ Brecilian Forest, Ferelden hair color ➔ black, with an increasing number of grays mixed in. eye color ➔ gray birthday ➔ late fall mood ➔ Tired, always tired. Other than that, content I suppose. gender ➔ female summer or winter ➔ Summer. It probably goes back to growing up in the forest. Summer was a time of plenty. Long days where you could get so much done and still have time to enjoy yourself after. Winter was a time of patience. Watching food stores, being even more careful stalking prey, cooped up crafting or weaving in the aravels to pass the time. I liked the soups and storytelling around the fires with warm mugs though.

morning or afternoon ➔ Morning. Get up, get going, hopefully get enough done to enjoy a little break for tea later.

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ I...don’t know. ‘It’s complicated’ would be the understatement of the age. But there is someone out there I care very much about and who weighs heavily on my mind. I’m not sure I’d call it love, but it’s something. do you believe in love at first sight ➔ For myself, no. I’m much too practical for that. I’m also so focused on my work that it’s usually the last thing I would ever think of when meeting someone new. who ended your last relationship ➔ We both did, him maybe more than me. We were heading down different paths, though at the time I had no idea just how different they really were. have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ *She sighs* Probably, when I was very young. I didn’t mean to and we both thought I might change my mind some day. I loved Tamlen, just not in that way, and I’m not exactly sure how he felt about that. It wasn’t something we discussed. I know we were expected to marry and he was more at home with that than I was. are you afraid of commitments ➔ Not at all, although some may look at the patterns of my life and say otherwise.

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ This week? No. But it depends on the week and who I’m with. There are times where I may hug several people in a day quite happily. have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ It’s very likely, though no one has ever approached me or sent me mysterious notes and gifts if that’s what you’re asking. have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ Yes. *the word is barely a whisper*

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ I don’t see why it can’t be both, but if I have to pick one, love. Even if we aren’t in a romantic relationship, we still need love, and there are so many kinds of love. Love is important. lemonade or iced tea ➔ Neither. Hot tea is my preference year round. cats or dogs ➔ I’ve had wonderful companions of both over the years. My current situation prevents me from having either with me, but I always stop to visit with the friendly ones when I’m on my travels.

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ A few best friends. Apparently I have a long standing reputation for being distant. It’s not entirely untrue, but I have my reasons for keeping most people at an arm’s length. wild night out or romantic night in ➔ I can probably count the wild nights out I’ve had my whole life on one hand and haven’t had one in well over a decade. Romantic night in is my choice. day or night ➔ I don’t quite understand what I’m choosing here, but day I suppose if only because sometimes unpleasant things lurk in the quiet dark, especially when we’re alone.

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ Caught leaving to go do something I wasn’t supposed to be doing, not that I can recall. Gotten caught after the fact? Frequently when I was growing up.

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ Are there people out there who haven’t? Not to mention, I lived in a keep for 10 years, anyone who says no is lying.

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ So many things. And I’ve learned that sometimes that hurt never fully goes away. wanted to disappear ➔ Many times, sometimes just to avoid getting in trouble with the Keeper, but there are still times where I want to wander away and stop being the person everyone is depending on. If I really wanted to, I probably could, but I’d never be able to look at my reflection again.

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ Both. shorter or taller ➔ Most people are taller than me so this one’s not that difficult. But to tell the truth, it doesn’t matter much to me.

intelligence or attraction ➔ A pretty face can only take one so far if there’s nothing to talk about and all you end up doing is staring at each other for hours. hook-up or relationship ➔ Relationship. Hook-ups are not in the best interest of a person in my position, but that’s also just not who I am. I’ve always been too serious about things like that.

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ I've never had a family in the traditional sense. Growing up I got along well with the clan and those in it. Then the wardens were my family and it’s always a good idea to get alone with one’s commander. Seriously though, I was proud to oversee those men and women. The Inquisition was a messier family, I think that’s usually the case when politics get involved. There were good people there, but it was a huge organization and it’s probably best that most have a little more space now. would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ Surprisingly, no. If you list the many turns my life has taken, I suspect most would say it is, but it’s just life to me, and the only kind I’ve known for a very long time. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else though. have you ever ran away from home ➔ No. In fact the Keeper practically had to throw me out to get me to go with Duncan. I’ve had to leave homes since then, but I’ve never run away from them.

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ I wouldn’t say she kicked me out, but the Keeper was very firm in her insistence that I join the Grey Wardens. In fairness, I would have died, or worse, if I hadn’t.

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ No? Is that a thing? do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ Yes. I keep a small circle of friends and they are all close. who is your best friend ➔ Leliana and Nate. Though now I’m usually out of contact with both for longer periods. I miss them terribly.

who knows everything about you ➔ See my previous answer, though Leliana probably edges out Nate just because she’s Leliana. It’s to be expected when you choose to have one of the best spymasters in the world as your best friend.

[l0stseek3r]

He doesn't like me..

Tevin sees me as some dumb kid that whines alot. Thats all he sees cuz he doesn't understand me.. And I doubt that he cares to, I'm sure he made up his mind about me a long time ago.

Out of everyone in the group, I'm the most shitted on by him.. Why tho? We use to be very close, we use to take road trips to wherever, we use to get super high and talk about how strange life can be, but those things only happened when it was just him and I , now all u do is look down on me, now that there's always ppl around.

For some reason, we only work better when were alone, idk he's just a bit nicer and understanding. But once our friends are around he switches back to hating me .... Idk.

[hatnews3-blog]

RealitySteve.com - My sarcastic, slanted, sophomoric, and skewed view on the world of reality television

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I realize, of course, that very few people are drawn to Are You the One? because of the mathematical strategies that must be employed for twenty-two people to have a shot at splitting a million dollars, but for those who are interested, the statistics at this point are as follows:

• 3 beams of light were nabbed in 2 consecutive ceremonies.

• 0 matches were made from 2 sojourns into the Truth Booth.

• 1 guy received head from Kenya during a luau.

• 1 girl named Lauren has received approximately 36 seconds of screen time.

• 7 blowups have gone down courtesy of Bria and 4 of them required she be physically restrained.

• And the number of women still convinced something real and true exists beneath Zak’s staggering and smelly layers of douchiness? Well, that number would probably measure somewhere near infinity.

The last ceremony concluded with Zak calling Bria trash and her retaliating in return that their garbage love story is over – and all that probably means is they’ll be heading into the Boom Boom Room any day now. But we can hope, can’t we? We can hope Bria calms down. We can hope Zak falls scruff-first into a volcano. We can hope Tevin will eventually stop hoping that Kenya will spontaneously turn decent. We can hope Lauren gets to say four consecutive sentences on camera and that Cam finds himself a fellow Conservative in that messy den of iniquity. Or we can say “f*ck hope” and simply wait for someone new to fly off the rails because this is an MTV reality show, dammit, and just it’s nice when our hopes pan out.

Episode four begins with Bria blathering about how much she respects herself and how she deserves better and that she’s not a dumb bitch, which means she will definitely end up straddling Zak in the very near future because Bria seems to be the very opposite of what she claims to be. And since she is a woman who deeply respects herself, she drenches another woman’s legs in chocolate syrup and dives tongue-first into the girl’s crotch to lick that syrup off – you know, much like the feminists of yore used to do. Her antics are having the exact effect we all know she’s going for. Zak is getting jealous, so since he’s a very mature person, he decides to lean in and kiss Samantha right in front of his hysterical ex. But Samantha! Could she be the token normal one on this show? I think there’s a chance that she might just be! As Zak leans in, she jerks backwards to avoid lips that have already slid over mouth of almost every girl in that house. She knows Zak’s deal and she’s not into it and I would hereby like to announce a brand new holiday! It will be called Samantha Day and on that day no woman will deign to kiss a dipsh*t and champagne and mini Twix bars will rain down from the sky. I’ve already ordered commemorative tees.

The next morning, Asia wakes Lewis to tell him she’s made him breakfast – something he swears hasn’t happened for him since Ja Rule had a hit – and he likes her and all, but he’s keeping his options open. Then there’s Brett and Cali. Those two are clicking. Need proof? As they discuss what kind of animal each one of them would be, Brett knows Cali would be a bird! Is their love deep or what? It is so deep that it’s time to start swapping secrets. Brett’s deep dark secret? He’s had three surgeries. Cali’s? She tosses hot peppers into her mouth like candy and then makes poop that burns her sphincter. Yes, theirs is a glorious kind of love and I’m certain it will last forever.

Asia is into Lewis, but she tells Tevin that Lewis hasn’t made any sort of move on her yet. She’s not sure if he’s being respectful or what, but she finds it odd that the two haven’t even danced together, not even during the luau a few days back. Once the luau is brought up, Tevin lets it slip that Kenya not only danced atop Lewis that night, but she went down on him as well. This is brand new information for Asia and she does not appreciate being kept in the dark by two people she thought she could trust. “Let me know you got your d*ck sucked. And let me know you sucked his d*ck!” she exclaims to Tevin about those two traitors and his response is to nod sagely and the whole thing is a moment of bonding one only sees on basic cable.

Also: I’m officially canceling Samantha Day. It turns out she gets positively giddy when men leave pools of sweat in their wake and, well, that’s the sort of shit that should just not be celebrated. The guy whose sweat is currently making her swoon is Daniel, and the truth is I don’t care if they get together or not. I’m just happy she’s not dreaming about doing a slip n’ slide through any of Zak’s bodily fluids.

Terrence J pops in next – he’s contractually mandated to show up now and again – and this week the Fate Button determines Shamoy, Lewis, Maria, and Lauren (the blonde phantom) get to go on the out-of-the-house date. Everyone is thrilled Shamoy and Maria were selected because there’s a good chance they’re an actual match and now they can be shoved into the Truth Booth and maybe something can finally be confirmed. The date they head out on involves horseback riding through the foggiest afternoon Hawaii has ever seen. Lauren gets to speak at least four times, Maria admits that Shamoy gives her butterflies, and Shamoy rides shirtless because Maria has latent Fabio fantasies. Everything is going perfectly until Lauren gets thrown from her horse, but it turns out this formerly mute girl is tough and she literally gets back on that horse and finishes the ride.

Back at the house, Asia is busy informing everyone she can corner that Kenya took Lewis’ hand a few weeks back, pulled him into the Boom Boom Room, and then sucked his d*ck. Had skywriters been available, she probably would have requested that one form the image of Kenya’s mouth enveloping Lewis’ scrotum so everyone could learn the news at once, but alas, skywriting is not in the budget for this show, not with all the tequila that needs to be on hand every second of every day so the contestants can wash away whatever inhibitions still remain in the darkest corners of their souls. As Asia wipes away tears of fury in the kitchen, Daniel asks Samantha to accompany him on a mini excursion to go catch crabs. Yes, there are a zillion “catching crabs” jokes I could make right now, but I’m instead going to appreciate that Daniel is not currently sweating buckets and I’m going to celebrate that he knows how to build a fishing pole out of bamboo – that kind of MacGyver sh*t could come in handy in the real world! – and, I swear, my eyes didn’t even roll when the two of them sat on the shore and kissed.

It’s Truth Booth time! To nobody’s surprise, Shamoy and Maria are sent in to determine if they’re a real match or not. The totally-just-for-show lights pass over their bodies and we find out these two are a perfect match! The house explodes into cheers, Shamoy and Maria are relieved as hell, and I’m devastated because now the only two clinically normal people in that villa are being sent away to the Honeymoon House so the rest of these rather insane people can more easily weed through one another to achieve a cash prize.

Seeing the perfect match pop up on the screen is making the rest of the house feel all kinds of giddy – or all kinds of drunk, but let’s pretend the romance here is not sponsored by Smirnoff. After declaring how “perfect” things are between she and Brett (and after we all then heard the rumbling of symbolic thunder the very second she said such a thing), Cali gets out of the hot tub and Brett has no idea where she has gone. He discovers her talking to Zak, a conversation that involves Zak telling her that she reminds him of his sister and Cali muttering, “Cool,” in return, but Brett is not about details at the moment. No, this guy gets in Zak’s face. Zak stays calm the entire time because pretty much everyone he’s ever met has hated him; he’s used to people invading his personal space to inform him that he sucks. Watching Brett’s overreaction, Cali is concerned. She’s experienced this kind of controlling man in her past and Brett is making her feel scared. She should probably already be scared. MTV has labeled Brett “The Jealous Type,” and he’s proving here that sometimes labels are pretty f*cking accurate. A few guys attempt to intervene because the guy is acting like a crazy person and Cali keeps telling him that he’s acting irrationally, but he’s not really into logic right now. Oh, and Cali keeps calling him “Zak” which is really not helping matters.

It’s a new day and the alcohol has seeped out of his system and now Brett thinks that maybe he blew things out of proportion the night before. And speaking of blowing things, Tevin lets Kenya know he accidentally told Asia about what happened between she and Lewis a while back and now Lewis would like to talk to Asia. With his shorts slipping all the way down his ass, Lewis leads Asia away so he can tell her there’s no reason she should feel an emotional attachment to him – which is a sentence all women love to hear. Asia thinks they have a connection despite the fact that he’s yet to see her naked, Lewis appears perplexed by everything Asia is saying, and it all just gets louder and more confusing when Kenya bounds over and says she had no idea Asia had feelings for Lewis, but she swears whatever transpired between the two of them was not “romantical” in the least. They all end the conversation with a hug, though Lewis is more than a bit freaked out because he’s nowhere near as into Asia as she apparently is into him.

It’s ceremony time! With one match already made, the group is now looking to solidify the other pairings. The guys get to choose their matches this week and it goes a little something like this:

• Lewis chooses Asia and Samantha sits back and watches as Asia mumbles some explanation about how whatever happened with Lewis and Kenya no longer matters and the whole thing makes Samantha sad because she feels like Asia is compromising herself. For the record, I’m now reconsidering my reconsideration of Samantha Day. The woman is wise and she’s yet to put her fist through a wall or through someone’s face. So what that she likes sweaty men? Let the bells that announce the dawning of Samantha Day ring! • Cam picks Kayla. • Tevin selects Kenya. • Daniel chooses Samantha – and she’s already worried he’s not enough of a challenge for her. • Brett gets up and rhapsodizes about how Cali is still the one he wants despite the fireballs of rage he spit at her the previous evening. But Cali? She doesn’t particularly love having to say this in front of everyone, but she’s no longer cool with a man who has psychotic bursts of anger due to his own issues with trust. She’s not willing to overlook the negative tendencies he all but waved before her face like flags and she tells him that she’s done. His response? He picks her as his match for the evening and Cali presses her hand on the screen to lock in that match with a look of pure duress smeared across her pretty face. • Andrew (who?) picks Lauren, the girl who fell off the horse and has now had 48 seconds of screen time. • Bria is chosen by some guy I’ve maybe never seen before and I do not know his name, but he helped her locate her missing pasta that morning and great love stories have started from far less. (Okay, they haven’t. But I’m afraid of Bria, so let me just publicly say that the locating of carbohydrates is so important in a relationship and I wish her and whoever this guy might be the very best.) • Kwasi picks Jasmine. • Tomas (I think) selects Nutsa. • Zak lands on Morgan.

With all these new selections, some of which are completely random and based only on missing fusilli, the group ends up with only two correct matches. They are now, Terrence J cautions them, in the danger zone and there is only one way to combat this growing crisis: they should all head out on a Relationship Retreat where their exes will be there to ambush them! Sounds healthy, right? And so romantical.

Nell Kalter teaches Film and Media at a school in New York. She is the author of the books THAT YEAR and STUDENT, both available on amazon.com in paperback and for your Kindle. Also be sure to check out her website at nellkalter.com. Her twitter is @nell_kalter.

Source: http://realitysteve.com/2018/08/30/are-you-the-one-nell-kalters-episode-4-recap/

[yahoo-roto-arcade-blog]

Booms and Busts: Dion Lewis headlines 17 for '17

Dion Lewis turned into a fantasy stud at the end of 2017 (AP/Charles Krupa)

We’ve got 17 final stories to file before the year wraps. Let’s jump to it.

• There’s an old, tired trope about Bill Belichick and the Patriots favoring a nonsensical backfield rotation — and enjoying the troll of fantasy football — but like most winning coaches, Belichick simply wants productive players he can trust. Dion Lewis was beyond productive in the second half of 2017 — he turned into a bona fide league winner, a difference-maker. Lewis is quick and slippery enough to make defenders miss, and has surprising power, the ability to finish runs.

Lewis rolled up 133 yards and two touchdowns in Sunday’s beatdown of the Jets, checking in as fantasy’s top scoring back of the day. Lewis was especially needed in this spot because Mike Gillislee, Rex Burkhead, and James White didn’t play, but even when the Patriots had healthier backfields earlier in the year, Lewis kept a major share of the workload.

Lewis ran the ball 10 times or more in 10 of his last 11 appearances, and in the one miss — the shocking loss at Miami — Lewis still had double-digit touches. Lewis also reemerged as a pass-catcher in the latter part of the year, snagging 17 passes in his final four games. It’s no wonder the Patriots trust Lewis in that role, he’s sure-handed (32 catches on 35 targets). He’s an attractive playoff-pool selection, the go-to running back on a team favored to make the Super Bowl.

• I’m still trying to figure out why the Browns featured Isaiah Crowell and kept Duke Johnson in the change-of-pace role. They ended the year with almost identical YPCs, but Johnson was far superior as a receiver. Johnson handled 280 touches in his final year at Miami — over 13 games — so he seems sturdy enough to take more work than Cleveland has given him. Please, football gods, let’s move on from Hue Jackson and his 1-31 record.

• It’s scary to think JuJu Smith-Schuster is just 21 years old. He’s become the player the Steelers wanted Martavis Bryant to be. JuJu was Sunday’s top fantasy receiver (9-143-1), throwing in a punt-return touchdown for good measure. No Ben Roethlisberger, no problem. Just imagine when the kid learns how to run the entire route tree.

• It’s an easier game in the slot than it is outside, but it’s interesting to note that Nelson Agholor and Alshon Jeffery had just about identical stats — but Agholor did it on 24 less targets. Agholor’s solid year was one of the least-reported fantasy stories of the year.

• There is no more sleeper value to Jimmy Garoppolo — a nation has fallen in love, head over cleats. But perhaps George Kittle can fly under the radar in 2018. Garoppolo has always had an eye for the big targets down the seam, dating back to his New England days. He had some moments with Garrett Celek this year, and Kittle was a monster in the win over the Rams (4-100-0, six targets).

• The way Chris Godwin played down the stretch, the Buccaneers probably don’t want DeSean Jackson back. Godwin finished with a snappy 7-111-1 line on Sunday, making good on 12 looks. Jameis Winston still makes a curious decision now and again, but his shoulder looked healthy over the last three weeks of the year.

• The Patrick Mahomes debut was especially impressive when you consider the Chiefs kept the major targets off the field for almost the entire game. And Denver’s defense is never an easy mark, especially at home. I don’t see any reason for the Chiefs to hold off; I’d make Mahomes the guy entering 2018. Remember, they traded up to draft him in 2017’s first round.

• I can’t kill the Seahawks for missing on Alex Collins because scouting is damn hard — heck, the Ravens didn’t really know what they had with Collins, either. Collins turns 24 right before next season, and Baltimore’s offensive line figures to be improved in 2018. His cutback touchdown run was one of my favorite Week 17 plays.

But nobody outside of Baltimore wanted to see the Ravens in the playoffs. The Bengals did everyone a favor. On the final offensive snap of the year, Joe Flacco threw short of the sticks and asked 37-year-old Ben Watson to break three tackles.

• You can bash Mike Mularkey all you want, but the Jaguars legitimately tried to win in Week 17 — and the Titans simply beat them up physically. Just when you thought it was safe to trust Blake Bortles, he’s played two stinkers in a row. Marcus Mariota always makes you nervous when he runs — the injury history — but his resourcefulness and guts were the difference Sunday.

• If Jon Gruden really is going to the Raiders, it’s a win-win for everyone involved — we get another quality coach back in the game, and the new Monday Night analyst figures to be an improvement over the speak-no-evil Gruden.

• I’ll never question Cam Newton’s toughness, but he threw the ball Sunday like he was injured (14-for-34, 180 yards, one touchdown, three picks). You’d swear he met his teammates 15 minutes before the game starts. The Panthers can’t beat anyone good if Newton’s accuracy doesn’t improve.

• May we all age as well as Frank Gore. Somehow he handled 27 touches at the end of his age-34 season and cranked out a respectable 111 yards. The irony to Gore’s career is that all of his major injuries occurred at Miami and in his early NFL years. He’s been remarkably durable since.

• I don’t have a good explanation for why Russell Wilson’s stats all came at the end of games this year, but the Seahawks definitely need to move on from OC Darrell Bevell.

• All season, we railed about the Falcons not using their backs in the passing game. In Sunday’s clean victory, Devonta Freeman snagged nine passes for 85 yards and a touchdown and Tevin Coleman also caught his two targets. It’s the easiest real estate in the game — if you have the right personnel — why not take it? The 2016 Falcons sure did.

• Now is not to shake up the Lions. Jim Bob Cooter and Matthew Stafford are on the verge of breaking this thing open. I still don’t like the Detroit running backs, but Golden Tate, Marvin Jones, and Kenny Golladay all made splash plays Sunday, and Eric Ebron was significantly improved in the second half of the year.

• Kirk Cousins was a mess against the Giants, but for the most part he had a strong season despite little help. Jordan Reed, shocker of shockers, got hurt. The offensive line was decimated by injury. Terrelle Pryor was a colossal bust. Chris Thompson didn’t last the season. If Washington lets Cousins walk, it’s making a gross error.

• The Cowboys kept Brice Butler buried because they apparently hate splash plays. Sure, technically, Butler and Dez Bryant play the same position, so what? You coach guys up. You find ways for talented players to overlap, compliment each other. The rest of the NFC East is thrilled to see Jason Garrett return. I nonetheless will have Butler on my deep-sleeper list for 2018.

Have a safe, happy New Year, everyone, and we’ll be back to figure it all out in 2018.

[maceopaisley]

BLACK HISTORY:

There was a special moment in the 90's when middle class black people started to become acknowledged as a thing.My mother wouldn't let me get a pair of Nike Cortez because she didn't want anyone to confuse me for a gang member. It was VERY important to my parents that I be as clear as possible about this position. I did not own a hooded sweatshirt until I was 22 years old and had purchased it myself. At the time I thought they were being over bearing, but 20 years later, it brings me to tears to see how right they were the whole time.

The most famous example of a black middle class family was the Cosby show which I didn't identify with at all but every body seemed to liken my two parent stable household to their archetype. But alas I am no Theo Huxtable.

At the same time A Different World was informing my whole world view. While everyone tried to make me Steve Urkel from Family Matters, I KNEW I was Dwayne Wade! In Living Color was by far THE FUNNIEST SHOW ON TV and everyone knows this.

I had the complete works of Langston Hughes in my living room and opened a new poem everyday. And Maya Angelou was still alive and Oprah was in her prime. These women reminded me of my mother and informed my perspective on beauty and what a grown woman was. Both of my grand mothers are classy regal dark skinned women who I have never actually seen in public looking less than PERFECT. I knew I had to keep lotion on my elbows around them. Like all the black women I knew, they held men accountable, it was no joke.

I had the BIGGEST crush on Lisa Turtle from Saved By the Bell and because RnB was also in its prime I had no shortage of dark skinned black women to pine over; Brandy, Monica, all of SWV, Chilli from TLC.

But I was also a nerdy weirdo, so I gravitated to W.E.B Dubois, and read everything Fredrick Douglas wrote probably before I graduated high school. To me, Malcom X wasn't even militant per say but an activist intellectual. My whole life I thought Martin Luther King Jr. was soft, until I started doing my own research.

The dudes I wanted to be were Usher, and Tevin Campbell. They were smooth as fuck and women loved them. I would have given a leg to be a member of Immature.I was always dancing in private. Always in private. I thought B2K was wack.

As I got older Mos Def was my Plato, Andre 3000 TAUGHT ME HOW TO DRESS. Kanye West was always overrated but he was from my team so I supported him until Lupe Fiasco came out and then he was my dude! Lupe perfectly rode the nerdy black dude line and made it seem cool via skateboarding. I was also a skateboarder, after having been a rollerblader, which was social suicide.

Kareem Campbell was the only big skateboarder at the time but Sal Masekala was THE voice of extreme sports so I always rocked with him. Meanwhile, I was still bumping KRS One, De La Soul, and James Brown because for me they were soundtracks to my life.

I was saddened to realize that jazz had become "smooth" and after viewing it as a life philosophy for many years, I abandoned it. My father and grandfather were stable male role models that I both feared and admired. This is what it was to be a man. Denzel just basically played my father in every role so he didn't stand out to me. (Not much has changed.)

If I had to narrow my identity down to characters you'd I'd say The Fresh Prince's Will Smith and Carlton Banks was where I landed smack dab in the middle. Being a hip hop head, kept me reading the dictionary to expand my vocabulary for lyrics. It's how I became a poet, and just now I am beginning to identify as a writer. I didn't get into Yin Yang Twins and Lil Jon because it was "mainstream" but I was infatuated with Cash Money and Lil Wayne was like a prophet in my early adulthood.

Cornel West would pop in and out of my intellectual periphery but I began to look more towards hip hop culture for guidance. I felt like black intellectualism had dried up and conscious rap had devolved into preachy bad music. I think many of us were cozy in the 2000's maybe that was the dark ages for black thought, or maybe I was just out of touch. I remember thinking about getting a grill, and a big ass watch, which I never did. But my kicks were fire because I would buy these limited Bapes and just blow my whole check on them to stay in the running for cool. Pharrell was a major influence and that was right about the time I started messing with my concept of who I was.

Wesley Snipes was married to a white woman in Waiting To Exhale and they made it seem like it was okay (even though she was dying). I realize now was a perspective altering moment. I caught wind of Barack Obama very early because he was on the periphery of my fathers social sphere. I recognized immediately that did not have slavery in his past, that his mother was white, that he was not BLACK THE WAY I WAS BLACK. I knew the class divide he represented and I have struggled with my feelings about that all my life.

I remember watching School Daze and wondering which side I would have been on. By that time the age old conflict between bougie and pro-black was popping up every where. And I have always known I am BOTH.

So I am putting sweaters around my neck one year and the next year I am throwing my fist up. I could never choose, and never felt I had to, even though my community always seems to decide for me. I noticed we opted in and out of hood culture as middle class blacks. Referencing where we came from but shaming people who didn't make it out at times. Playing deep hood music at house parties but turning it down when we drove through white neighborhoods.

I saw Ice cube begin to code switch and get more and more movies. Tyler Perry seemed to be unequivocably problematic in practice even though I though some of his plays were funny and accurate. I'm missing people, tons of men and women who obfuscate the perception of blackness held my mainstream America but sharpen it for me. Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice showed me that you can be a black person and a patriot, but not without great conflict of interest.

The black experience is so far and wide and complex that I can't summarize my historical perspective on it. I had the whole collection of Black History books they sent us one per month, and still had never heard of the women from Hidden Figures. We had a million books and chemistry sets, and all the musical instruments in the world in my home but I never once was gifted a new bike. The fact that I am creative isn't so much inherent as it was a construction of my parents. My brother is very different than me even though we grew up in similar social conditions. He reminds me that sociology is only have the story, we are our own people to become.

Today, I still struggle with the privilege I inherited and push against my tendencies to be elitist and judgmental. I recognize that I am invited into white spaces far more than many of my peers and that means I never enter them without trepidation. Award shows, academia, and dinner parties still feel foreign but I am speak the language fluently.

I was above freaking at parties and I never used the B word in my raps. I think Grace Jones single handedly shattered everything I knew about what was possible for black people to become. Thinking about Muhammed Ali for too long makes me cry. The love/hate relationship I have with America sometimes shows up in the mirror.

Wu-Tang forever. Happy Black History Month. #taoofmaceo

[cover32-yahoopartner-blog]

NFL Mailbag: Super Bowl LI Edition

This week around the NFL we discuss the upcoming Super Bowl between the Atlanta Falcons and New England Patriots. Welcome to our weekly NFL mailbag.

Both Tom Brady and Roger Goodell have addressed questions about “Deflategate” and Goodell’s avoidance of New England, etc. etc. Is it honestly water under the bridge? -Angelo J. (Vero Beach, FL)

Only two men can answer this question and they have by saying all of the right things leading up to the Super Bowl. However, you can’t tell me that Brady doesn’t want to win this Super Bowl more than any of his prior appearances.

I honestly think that Goodell doesn’t care who wins. He’s like a big name wrestler promoting the brand. Love me or hate me, at least the stadium is sold out.

Goodell knows his so-called controversy with New England will force people to watch who may not have otherwise. Even more eyes glued to televisions across the nation to see if Brady can pull off another dramatic victory and force the NFL Commissioner to hand him the Lombardi Trophy after suspending him for a quarter of the regular season.

If he does then it should be, as you called it, water under the bridge for both.

The Falcons offense has been phenomenal all season. What strategy will the New England defense use to slow down Matt Ryan and company? -Terry R. (Douglas, GA)

First, the New England defense is not a unit to be overlooking. Yes, the Atlanta offense has been putting up eye-popping numbers all season but this will be their toughest test to date.

I expect Tom Brady and the Patriots’ offense to be the ones keeping Matt Ryan and company off of the field. If Atlanta doesn’t have the football they can’t score.

Look for New England to try and get the run game going early to both keep the clock moving and tire out the Falcons’ defense. If the Patriots can establish a good rhythm on offense and limit the number of possessions that the Falcons have, it gives them the best chance to win.

Unlike many, I don’t expect the game to be very high scoring. Each team will get their share of touchdowns but I don’t see Ryan and company putting up 40-plus on New England.

Sep 29, 2013; Atlanta, GA, USA; Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan (2) throws under pressure in the second half against the New England Patriots at the Georgia Dome. The Patriots won 30-23. Mandatory Credit: Daniel Shirey-USA TODAY Sports

AROUND COVER32

Top 10: All-time best Super Bowl MVPs

Interview: One on one with Western Kentucky’s Forrest Lamp

Matchups: Top matchups to watch for on Sunday

Mailbag: Shanahan’s Hiring and Pro Bowl Significance

What under-the-radar player will shine on the NFL’s biggest stage? Will there be a surprise MVP? -Bradford C. (Sacramento, CA)

Taylor Gabriel.

The undrafted free agent signed and then cut by the Cleveland Browns was picked up by Atlanta in September. He proceeded to score six receiving touchdowns while adding a nine-yard rush for a touchdown.

He’s a speedy receiver who can test the New England secondary. Also, the Patriots have to be concerned with the running back tandem of Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman, including their pass catching abilities out of the back field. Step up to cover the flat and Gabriel will have a field day down the field.

Unless someone has a truly impressive performance, three-plus touchdowns. I expect the winning quarterback to earn the MVP.

Who wins Super Bowl LI? -Almost Everyone. (Everywhere, USA)

This is honestly a tough game to call. Atlanta is riding the hot hand and New England has two-fold reasons to fight for a victory. It’s hard to bet against Tom Brady on this stage in a season where he’s given extra incentive.

However, while the Patriots will try to limit Atlanta’s possessions they should still generate enough points to win.

Atlanta Falcons- 27, New England Patriots- 24

–Brandon Scott is a Cover32 Managing Editor covering the NFL and the Los Angeles Chargers. Follow him on Twitter here.

The post NFL Mailbag: Super Bowl LI Edition appeared first on Cover32.

[themanguidemg]

The Casual Fan Guide To Super Bowl 51

The Super Bowl might as well be a holiday for many of us. Families and friends gather to witness the two best teams in the country play their hearts out. Now I am not an expert or a sports writer at all, far from it. I am, however, someone that watches a lot of football and constantly keeps up with the sport through articles, highlights, stats. etc. But not everyone that watches the Super Bowl follows football closely. This is who this short guide is meant for, the casual fan who may have little to no knowledge of these two titans.

In case you’re interested in watching the game, or headed to a Super Bowl party, here is a short breakdown on the two teams so you can get familiar and further enjoy your Super Bowl experience.

Atlanta Falcons

Led by their 2nd year head coach, Dan Quinn, the Falcons soared year round and quietly posted one of the best records in the NFL (11-5). Defensively, Deion Jones (LB) and Keanu Neal (S) led all rookies in tackles this past year. The real leader of the Falcons D is 2nd year Linebacker, Vic Beasley, who lead the league in sacks (15.5). Even with the absence of their #1 CB Desmond Trufant, their secondary remains solid with Robert Alford and 2nd year cornerback Jalen Collins.

This is a team that barely received attention all year despite having one of the best offenses in the NFL. The Falcons were top 5 in every offensive category. Atlanta bolstered their offensive corps by picking up a few key free agents this past off season, which include: Alex Mack from the Browns, one of the best Centers in the league; Taylor Gabriel (Browns) and Mohammad Sanu (Bengals) which provided quality depth at Wide Receiver after letting go of the veteran Roddy White.

The ground attack consists of 2 of the most talented Running Backs in the league, Devonte Freeman and Tevin Coleman. Either of these two backs can slice up the backfield with either runs or as a receiving threat. This RB tandem helped Atlanta finish the season as #5 in rushing yards per game and #3 in rushing TDs. The variety of weapons in the Falcons’ arsenal is one of the biggest reasons why they were #1 in total points in the 2016 season.

None of this would be accomplished without their Quarterback.

QB: Matt Ryan

Matt Ryan should absolutely be the NFL MVP this year. In his 9th season, he completely dominated the league with a brutal passing attack that resulted in career highs in yards (4944), passing yards per game (309), touchdowns (38), and completion percentage (69.9%). He also led the league in passing yards per attempt (9.1) and passer rating (117.1). His abundance of reliable receivers and Kyle Shanahan’s offensive play calling let him tear up any secondary that got in his way.

Out of all his play makers, there is only one that truly stands out.

Biggest weapon: Julio Jones

Julio Jones only scored 6 TD this season and missed two games due to injury, but he’s still the most dangerous threat the Falcons have in their arsenal. This man racked up 1409 yards in only 83 receptions, which averages out to an insane 17 yards per catch. Apart from that, this is his 4th straight year in which he averages 100 yards a game, becoming the first player ever to do so. He’s been slowed down due to a lingering injuries but even if he takes the field at less than 100%, he’ll still command double teams from the Patriots secondary which will give other players the opportunity for more favorable match ups.

  New England Patriots

Yep. These guys again. The Empire of the NFL doesn’t seem to be dwindling it’s stranglehold any time soon. To top it all off, they might be a more complete team now than they’ve ever been. After an average start, the Patriots D finished the season with the least points per game allowed (15.6). Malcolm Butler is not a shut down corner yet, but he gets the job done against whatever receiver he’s covering, and he’ll need to do everything in his power to cover Julio Jones. Even though Dont’a Hightower has been banged up recently, the middle linebacker is still the Patriots defensive captain and a player which will definitely need to be accounted for.

On the Offense, LeGarrette Blount is the work horse and a complete train of a man who bulldozes through defenses and leads the league in touchdowns (18). Even on games where he is handling most of the carries, the Pats will find ways to get the ball in the hands of Dion Lewis. Lewis is a dangerous play maker who recently became the first player in post-season history to score a receiving, rushing and return TD in the same game. However, he does have a tendency to fumble the ball.

After Gronk was ruled out for the season, they’ve lacked a true receiving threat. Their #1 wide receiver, Julian Edelman, finished the season with the 4th most receptions in the league, barely cracked 1100 yards and had only 3 TDs. But that doesn’t mean much since Bill Belichick and Tom Brady can make stars out of random players. For a perfect example, look towards the AFC Championship game in which Chris Hogan caught 9 passes for 180 yards and 2 TDs.

But of course, Tom Brady is the man that makes the offense click.

QB: Tom Brady

If the Pats are indeed the NFL’s Empire, then Tom Brady is Darth Vader and he’s been force choking the league for 15 years. This man is 39 years old and he plays like he can last another 5, annoying isn’t it? After being suspended for 4 games at the beginning of the season, Brady came back with a vengeance and led NE to 11 wins and only a single loss within that time. Even putting up one of his most statistically pedestrian seasons, he’s still one of the smartest quarterbacks in the game today.

Even if Brady were to somehow get injured in the middle of the game, Belichick would still find a way to make it work.

Biggest weapon: Bill Belichick

This man is so used to winning that he holds the AFC title like someone passed him an empty bag of Doritos.

The disdain with which Bill Belichick received the Lamar Hunt trophy is truly awe inspiring http://pic.twitter.com/A6RG8eafCo

— Jason Schwartz (@JasonSchwartz) January 23, 2017

This might seem ridiculous seeing as how he’s not on the field, but the Patriots coaching is by far their biggest advantage. Whether you hate him, love him, call him a cheater, say he sold his soul to the devil, it doesn’t matter because he always finds a way to win. Under his coaching, the Patriots have only missed the playoffs three times since the year 2000. Every other time they’ve finished first in their division, made the playoffs, and gone to the Super Bowl seven times. That’s unheard of. Whenever the Dark Lord retires, he’ll be known as the greatest coach in league history.

Belichick’s entire plan consists or taking your best player out of the game plan, forcing you to beat him with the rest of your team on even ground. Apart from that, he’ll switch up his offense and make sure the opposing team is completely off guard. They seem prepared to handle Blount? Cool, just have James White and Dion Lewis tear it up as receiving threats. Covering Edelman? Hogan or some other random receiver will emerge as a break out player with 150 yards somehow. Belichick treats football like alchemy formulas and ends up with gold most times.

  Overall

I believe everyone except Patriots fans want New England to lose. Hopefully Atlanta comes out the gate hungry because a Super Bowl win will mean the world to that entire city. Still, if New England wins, it’ll be an incredible accomplishment for both Belichick and Brady. The only way the Falcons can beat the Patriots is to out coach them. Dan Quinn needs his offense better than they’ve ever been and to never fall far behind. Atlanta has enough talent on every skill position on offense to keep New England guessing. If the Patriots hold any significant lead at any point in time, then they will use Blount to grind down the Atlanta D.

Once again, this will be a Super Bowl between the #1 scoring offense (Atlanta) and the #1 scoring defense (NE). You guys remember what happened last year right? It was proof that defense wins championships as the Broncos completely demolished Cam Newton and crippled their high powered offense.

Will history repeat itself? We’ll find out on Super Bowl Sunday.

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