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detectiverickitubbs · 7 years

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Stealing Kisses: Crockett X Tubbs

@afourletterwordfordirt

To Ricki, Sonny Crockett was the sum of all things that could be missed. He was the cool caress of the breeze on a dreadfully hot summer day, the rain in the middle of a scorching desert, the azure-skies during torrential rainfalls, and the absence of a beacon from a lighthouse, which, usually provides safe passage of ships in the night. He was the wonderful concoction of scents. He often smelt like tobacco, cologne, sweat, day-old-shampoo-jobs, gun-powder residue, salty-ocean spray, and fish.

Sonny was effortlessly gorgeous, not in a feminine manner of course, but rather this rough, callous, sand-papery, roguish, and muscular way. His skin-tone was this fabulous shade of warm honey mixed with copper; the sort of color that could instantly melt one's heart. His hair was that of dirty sand mixed with the soft buttery glow of golden sunshine. The fluffy strands had slight waves to them, that if grown long enough, could be mistaken for being wild like the tangles of greenery within the everglades. Sonny's greenish-turquoise eyes could rival the majesty of the endless oceans crested with frothing foam. The two pools happened to be blessed with the ocean's incredibly relentless depths and as a result it was nearly impossible not to desire complete submergence within them. On rare occasions, Ricki could swear that they held the twinkling of the scorching Miami sun within their precious confines, just as criminals guard their shadowy empires and wealth inside mansions. His mighty jaw-line was something of a marvel in, and of, itself. When it was relaxed, it appeared flawless and smooth despite the stubble that collected there when he didn't shave. However, when Crockett was livid, one twitch of the powerful muscles tucked within the corners of his well-shaped face could send shudders up and down Tubbs's spine. For she had come to fear him just as deeply as she respected him.

Sonny could be as unpredictable as, the paths of a thousand bolts of lightning shooting forth from a large Tesla coil. He had the capacity to be the tranquil silence after the passing of a severe storm, the brooding melancholy of some miserable midnight hour, and the tired sigh at the end of a passion-filled statement. Her partner was a fractured kaleidoscope, a shattered pane of once splendid stained glass. Still, Ricki found him more breathtaking than all of the world's greatest treasures. Crockett had earned his place in her heart by being the most incredibly charming and sarcastic-witted genius, whose rare but genuine smiles and giggles, could send Ricki reeling into endless spurts of laughter. The uproarious kind of outburst that could not be dissolved until the lungs burned and the tears fell freely from the eyes.

When Ricki originally came to Miami, she had never expected to get so attached to Sonny. Nor had she expected that separation would feel like nothing short of complete suffocation. But it did. My God, it did. The more she thought about him, the deeper the roots of her genuine affection grew. Tubbs had fallen so painfully and irrevocably in love with Sonny, that having her heart cut free from her chest would be a far more tolerable solution than remaining silently loving him, as another was selected to by his side and warm his bed.

She was forever longing for the right moment to express just how deeply and ardently she felt for him with out an opportunity to express it. Fear pent up within the depths of her soul every time she tried to utter the three little words "I love you" in a way that was more than the casual conversational and friendly manner. Why? It was petrifying knowing that she could easily relinquish all rights to her heart and the very depths of her soul to Sonny- only to have it go unrequited. It is the same sickening sensation that overwhelms the senses, when walking along the side of a steep cliff and the loose ground shifts beneath the feet. The electric panic that whisks into the depths of one's soul as one scramble for a place to anchor one's weight, only to find one's self helplessly falling towards the inevitably fatal end. The heart-dropping moment that curls through each and every single nerve as a priceless glass object slips from one's hand and shatters into a million tiny shards on the floor. It was just as strenuous, if not more so, than going blindly into a gunfight. To believe that Sonny could not and would not love her back was far easier than accepting any chance of his rejection.

Uncertainty was the butcher of hopes and dreams, the very thing that drove her from his side. By returning to New York to pursue her modeling career, a part of Ricki believed she was doing Sonny a favor. Tubbs believed that by abandoning the partnership they had built, that she was getting out of the way of his happiness. Ricki intended to give Crockett the freedom to follow whatever path he wished so that he may find the joy, blissful satisfaction, and prosperity he seemed to be searching for. Heavens knew he deserved it. Sonny had suffered greatly and she did not wish to be a cause of further torment to him.

Putting all 1093.57 miles by air and 1,282.08 miles by car between them was also meant to help Ricki get over Sonny. But getting over him was impossible. The thought of not knowing exactly where "they" stood with each other drove her absolutely crazy. Especially, after the "I love yous" were exchanged the night before and then again at the airport. Were they just words that two parting friends exchanged in order to remain amicable? Or had Sonny meant them in the same way, she had expressed hers? Ricki's own musings possessed her the entire time she roamed the streets of New York City.

Crockett was the one person her mind was consumed with whilst in the midst of yellow-taxi packed streets, the choruses of honking horns, swarms of people racing towards unknown destinations, flashing lights, and signs. A sense of familiar and alien-like chaos clouded her mind, as bedlam did the streets of the vivacious city. As she lurked in the cold shadows of endless skyscrapers she found herself disoriented, overwhelmed, and dreadfully alone. It felt like something was horribly amiss every time Ricki found herself observing her lone reflection in the shallow glass of stores, cars, and taxis. Whereas, in Miami her reflection was almost always accompanied by Sonny's. Every piece of her crushing, torn, and bruised heart could tell that it wasn't right.

With almost every step she took deeper into the city, Ricki could practically hear Sonny's gravelly voice uttering sarcastic comments and reactions to the things she was seeing and even hearing. It practically flooded her ears incessantly as if, Crockett had somehow perched himself upon some tiny corner of her shoulder the way consciences do in cartoons. Ricki would occasionally find herself turning to speak to him with "Sonny would you look at that" or "you know Sonny...." or even "did you see that" only to be met with the cold and rather suspicious glances of her fellow New Yorkers. No one would understand the grief that surged through her when she realized that she'd have to navigate this journey alone. Being alone felt so unbelievably cruel.

Her partner had become the one thing that was certain, dependable, and reliable within her life. Without him the mayhem and darkness would come crashing in like waves from a Tsunami and they would not relent until Ricki ended up being pulled under. Wave upon towering wave crashing over her until she was drawn in so deep that her lungs could no longer fathom the idea of air.

As she walked in to the important interview, it abruptly became clear, beyond a reasonable shadow of a doubt, that life without Crockett would be intolerable and insufferable. For without Sonny, Ricki was naught but a wayward foreigner, even in the city that she had called her home for over half of her life. New York in all of it's charms no longer seemed as enticing as it had been when she had first toyed with the idea of returning. Everything seemed devoid of comfort in his absence. It felt as if, she was a black and white photo moving around in a zealous world awash in vivacious colors. And so, like a moth drawn to the flickering flame, Tubbs had once more put New York behind her and headed towards Miami; more correctly, back to Sonny. So that she could return to the life she realized she both wanted and needed.

Ricki now beheld this masculine treasure less than an arms length away. His eyes more stunning than the finest of jewels, even in the shallow light of the hallway. The way the tender glow caressed his face was intoxicatingly enchanting. Especially, when accompanied that dopey ear to ear grin he had worn all day. She couldn't help but feel that it should be considered a punishable offense for anyone to look so attractive bathed in the dingy light. Nothing could cause her gaze to divert away from him when he looked as though he had just walked off the cover of GQ magazine.

There were so many things Ricki wanted to tell him but the words, encompassed in her infinite vocabulary, seemed to slip through her mind like sand through the porous surface of a gold-rush aged sifter. Five amazing years of being something 'more than best friends', partners, and 'constant companions' didn't seem worth completely jeopardizing...at least before now. Her mind became overwrought with ideas that caused lava to seep into every vein and they sent her heart into a downright panic. Its wild beats seemed to cause the muscle to rise into her very throat.

"Sonny, y... you'll have to....forgive me," she hoarsely started stammering. Her nerve nearly faltering as his eyes seem to catch hers. Ricki suddenly finds the countless thoughts and romantic notions coinciding with tangible actions, rather than, remaining concealed in endless daydreams and fantasies. Her body seems to move of its own accord towards him. Tubbs wasn't exactly certain what she was doing but she was determined to do it anyways.

Ricki gingerly dragged her hands up the smooth material of his thin shirt, taking in every ripple of fabric and every inch of his gorgeous Miami-Sun-kissed skin that she knew was hidden beneath it. Ricki's hands moved slowly in an effort to re-familiarize herself with what she had nearly lost. His chest was something she had been well acquainted with. There were times in the past, where nuzzling her face into its warmth had been tranquilizing. Where simply making physical contact with Sonny meant that she'd make it out of the darkness alive and unharmed. The steady rise and fall of his sturdy breast-plate against hers could have been likened to the soothing of salve that is applied to a painful burn. Did Sonny know how long she had waited for a moment such as this? To feel emboldened enough to touch him with the level of desire that she did now?

Even whilst she had him all to herself, Ricki quietly envied the others that Sonny had let touch him. The others, who had willingly held Crockett's golden heart in their hands and had seen fit to shatter it to pieces. She wouldn't have done that to Sonny. Ricki wouldn't dream of hurting him in a way that would not result in his pleasure. She'd take more delight in destroying herself to protect him. If Crockett had given her one tenth of his heart, like he had given the other women, Tubbs would have guarded it with her life. Even now, as she let her hands dance across the silky cloth, the thought to splinter him into pieces never crossed her mind. For a moment, Ricki allowed one of her hands to rest above his heart. Its strong palpitations bringing a pleased smile to appear upon her face.

Ricki could no longer deny how intensely she felt for him nor, could she allow herself to repress the heavy dam of emotions that she felt towards him. The last few times she held back, had done stupidly reckless things. She almost had to spend an eternity without him, doomed forever to be his side-kick, and nothing more. She didn't want to be seen as "just Tubbs" or "just another one of the guys anymore." Ricki needed him to see that she was a woman, a woman yearning to be considered sooo much more. Ricki would be throwing caution to the wind and and damning the consequences by stealing this kiss and she knew it. If Sonny didn't feel the same, then she'd be forced to figure out other plan of action- which she was more than prepared to do.

There were flames flickering through her veins and a raging inferno sweeping stormily over the very essence of her soul. The heat of which, could be felt across every pore of her skin, or so it would seem. Her fingers lifted, then coiled into the stiff lapels of his suit-jacket, and her once calm stance shifted uneasily in preparation of the daring move. Without further warning, Ricki gently but aggressively drove him backwards into the wall. She then pressed her slender and curved figure into his more muscular one giving him very little room to move away from her grasp. The thought of what she was about to do caused her to tremble heavily. Her breaths suddenly coming out in a strange almost strangled kind of way, as she tried to restrain her passions from going too far and scaring Sonny away.

This was a moment that Ricki was both yearning for and fighting against. A shattering instant where the extend her true feelings would be made known. If Sonny hadn't an inkling of her feelings before, he soon would. Ricki inhaled sharply, searching his startlingly green and turquoise pools for any sign of resentment or contempt. Her eyes of coffee-bean brown, peanut-butter gold, and grass-green then moved to sweep over him with a sheepish but unparalleled intensity. It was wrong of her to feel this way. Wasn't it? He was her partner and her co-worker. But how could she look at him in any other way, when her heart screamed out its devotion to him and only him, with every thunderous beat?

A voice in her head beckoned her to kiss Sonny. But could she bring herself to kiss those lips of his again? She had welcomed their brushes before... but always dismissed the meaning of the gesture as something "only friends" would do. She had cut herself off from thinking more of it, making herself emotionally unavailable to the idea of wanting him.... or needing him in every sense of the word. Now, she stared at them with a look that could be translated into meaning something more than I want "just another friendly kiss".

Over the years Tubbs had taken notice of the way his lips and tongue could utter her name with such poise, elegance, flare, hate, confusion, and other emotions in a wide range of tones. She had fallen in love with every last one of them, even the ones that spelt trouble or contempt. Ricki had practically committed every minuscule and particularized movement of his lips with the releasing of every syllable, to memory. The very same lips that could coax a smile to draw upon her own face, could also coil upwards in the most frightening and heart-stopping of snarls. Sonny's two pale-pink facial bows and curves could press around a cigarette the way a greedy man's grasp could a thick wad of hundred dollar bills. He was the only one who could almost romanticize the art of smoking cigarettes in Ricki's eyes.

What did Sonny's lips taste like? Did they taste of ashes and fresh burnt tobacco like they used to? The drink he had just had swallowed? Did they still hold the same heated sensation of a working furnace in the middle of January when living in New York? Would there still be the same electric spark that she felt every time they had kissed in the past? Did Sonny's lips still know her name - as on occasion, they had? Had she become a foreigner? Or was she just another one of those forgotten after he met what he claimed to be "the one"? It had been a long time since last they kissed. These thoughts caused Ricki's sharp gaze to become fixated upon his solely lips. She took great delight in studying every slight crack and line within their pale and dusty-rose shaded surfaces. She could not help but wish to become reacquainted with them.

Before she could give herself enough time to think about what she was doing, Ricki seized hold of his smoke-scented collar, using it to pull herself just a little bit closer to him. Tubbs let out a staggering heated breath as she tried to summon the courage that would be required to steal a kiss from her handsome partner.

Her brown eyes misted as she examined him, getting lost in her own thoughts. The fresh pangs of betrayal, of hurt, of love, joy, and passion all seemed to sweep into her from out of the blue. Her mind was swimming in uncharted territory and she felt helplessly inexplicably lost. Sonny had this way of making life strangely complicated and simple at the same time.

"Sonny..... I..... I’m sorry but...." she swallowed sharply. Gosh, this was sooo hard. She could feel her own face flushing and feverishly burning. Her heart was slamming like a ram-rod against her rib-cages dutifully holding it captive within her chest.

Another thought slipped through her mind, as if it were a leaf being carried by a rapid moving gale: What if this destroys....us? I can't afford to lose someone I've become so invested in. What if this causes Sonny to hate me? What if this hurts him? Could I live with myself if I ever brought him pain?

And with that, Ricki found herself hesitating. Her body still pressed against his, but it no longer made an effort to finish or retreat from the course of action it had begun to take. All she could do was stare, wide-eyed, at the angel within her grasp and pray that he did not find cause to strike her down.

Lips finally press to Sonny’s in a hurried but somewhat fearful manner which, slowly melds into a wanton, needy, and aggressively passionate one. “I love you,” she jaggedly breathes. “I love you and I’m not ashamed to let you know...”

#afourletterwordfordirt #You do not have to match the length at all #90 % of this is flashbacks/ricki's thoughts- how ricki feels about him

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