#terra doesn't forgive himself and that breaks my heart

[yoroshiu]

It feels uncanny thinking about how KH2's final boss is technically Terra's body while the secret boss is Terra's will

[finitevoid]

I don't tend to hate characters in anything because it's not really how I engage with media. Except. And I mean this from the bottom of my heart. From deep within my soul. I hate Eraqus. Intensely. Ardently. With all of my being. I hate him more than Xehanort. I want to eat him alive.

I promise this post wasn't bait sdfgfdsxcfv it is a reflection of my feelings, because I feel like him connecting with Xehanort is interesting thematically (and because I refuse to even entertain the idea that it's tacit redemption of Xehanort like no fuckinf way--) and I like KH3 on more of a macro/thematic level than anything else . But genuinely I think he maybe shouldn't have spoken to his students at all

Because I really, really hate Eraqus. I try to be chill about it because I actually appreciate that he's a deeply flawed, nuanced character and I like it when KH has those but holy shit I want to grind him into the DIRT. I want to shut Eraqus in a locker. I want to send him anon hate .

It's like, the whole thing betrays KH's lack of reckoning with power structure and what it means that people who are powerful, are leaders, etc, can and will hurt people in their care. Eraqus gets a pass because he represents being "too dedicated to the light(goodness)". Because his intentions were good means that he is redeemable. And I appreciate KH3's dedication to redemption as theme, but, like. Man.

I honestly think it would've felt so much better if he'd apologized to them. If he'd honestly and genuinely grovelled. If he'd said, everything that happened was because of my negligence, my failures as your teacher and parent, my blindness to your struggles. Especially Ven, but all three of them.

He taught them to unquestioningly obey. He taught them to give respect before they thought about what they're doing or why. He taught them to be small. He taught them to squish themselves; into boxes, into suspicion, into... uhhh I don't have a poetic way to tie back into that he almost murdered Ven.

I don't mind them forgiving him in the end. It's Kingdom Hearts, I expect the bad guys to be sad and apologize. But I also think that he should've asked for their forgiveness.

But because the Light is good and the Dark is bad, it doesn't matter what Eraqus does wrong because he did it in the name of the Light. His intentions are more important than his actual actions. And moreso than the Light/Dark dichotomy, truly what the series can't reckon with is power. In the end, Eraqus is redeemed in the eyes of the narrative because he's in a position of power. We must give our masters and our forebears respect, right? Even when they hurt us?

And like yeah, Terra definitely had Bad Feelings about murdering his dad but its like the game doesn't want you to think about or look at or remember that he killed Eraqus to protect Ven.

I saw that :3333 I was like YYYYESSSSS. I want Ven to feel very complexly about Eraqus. Ven truly never has had a Master willing to put him first, before everything, above all. It adds this interesting dimension to the fact that WwhSY Ven becomes a Master himself. There's something very healing for Terra and Aqua in caring for their apprentices, breaking the cycle of abuse and shit. But Ven... idk. Now I'm thinking about how Vanitas assumed Ven had apprentices of his own, and Ven had to correct him... Maybe I'm getting off track.

Deconstructing Eraqus as a mentor is a major element of my as-of-yet-unnamed fic. What initially drew me to the premise is that giving Eraqus an apprentice not just with latent Darkness (like Terra) but who is Darkness, would make the game into a pressure cooker of emotions far more volatile than canon is, I think. I don't wanna give too much away but Vanitas is in hell, despite dodging the Xehanort bullet

i do enjoy eraqus showing up at the end of kh3 because i forgive kh3 for all of her flaws and also because i think its fun thematically, light and dark etc i found it to be a cathartic and satisfying end to xehanorts saga (plus i was too busy losing my fucking MARBLES about xehanort bequeathing sora the x-blade aaaaahh aaaaaaahhHH) but its. Crazy. Its. Insane. Bonkers. NOnsense. that eraqus is just like. I forgive you terra. You did the right thing. while ven is standing RIGHT THERE

[unnounblr]

#i will never get over the breaking of terra into smaller pieces

#and how the consequences of his mistakes caused by malicious manipulation end up affecting the series as a whole

#terra doesn't forgive himself and that breaks my heart

#terra deserves better

It feels uncanny thinking about how KH2's final boss is technically Terra's body while the secret boss is Terra's will