#terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Liar, liar, pants on fire-- Cora pressed her lips together to keep from making accusations that would only make things ten times worse. Even though she sort of felt like it.

Because Tiana wasn't being fair. Not after Cora had been honest with her. Not after Cora had asked her, specifically, if she was okay with the type of relationship they were in. Tiana wasn't the other woman, neither was Evy, nor anyone else Cora might end up with. There wasn't any need for jealousy and ill-will.

She nodded. If Tiana didn't want to have it out, then fine. "Okay," She nodded. "You know I wouldn't, anyways."

@truitt-story

Somebody Else | Terpsiana

[truitt-story]

It Hurt 'Cause It Had To | Terpsiana

Date: Mid December, after the Winter Ball

Featuring: @terpsichore-of-hesiod

Warnings: None, just sad :(

TIANA

When Tiana had told Cora she wasn’t going to the ball, she promised they’d get drinks some other time instead. And now, “some other time” had arrived— and Tiana was happy to see Cora, but it wasn’t uncomplicated. She felt embarrassed that she’d skipped the ball simply because of her aversion to the Evy situation. And she was afraid that Cora the real reason, even after their last conversation.

So she wasn’t in the best mood when she got to Pixie’s. “Hey,” Tiana said, leaning in to give Cora a quick kiss. “Good to see you.”

CORA

Cora had shown up to drinks expecting it to be more than just a few drinks - and not in the fun way. Things with Tiana had been… well, strained was maybe putting it mildly. Things were weird, and Cora hated weird feelings when you could just air things out, so she was sort of expecting them to have a decent talk tonight.

In a way, though, she still didn't want to push her luck. She smiled as she took a few steps towards Tiana, sharing that brief kiss before she reached for the door. "You too," She smiled, holding the door open for her. "C'mon, I'll buy the first round."

TIANA

Tiana smiled and followed Cora into the bar. “Thanks,” she said.

Maybe this was actually… like, a new beginning. It was almost the new year, right? A good time for a fresh start.

“I’ll do a negroni,” she added. “What are you getting?”

CORA

Cora nodded to the barman, signalling one negroni. "I'll get a whiskey sour, please," She added, smiling as the bartender went off to grab their drinks.

"So," She said, turning to Tiana again whilst they waited. "How've you been? I missed you at the ball the other day."

TIANA

“Oh, y’all still had fun,” Tiana said dismissively, though she kept her tone lighthearted. She didn’t have, like, confirmation of that. But it was Cora. Of course she’d had a good time. And she’d be lying if she wasn’t a little irritated that Cora was acting like she wouldn’t have brought the mood down. But she wasn’t trying to start problems.

CORA

Well, yeah. She did still have fun. Cora was not one to make herself miserable out of spite, or… any reason, really. She shrugged, relying, “Well, yeah. Still missed having you there, though.” Although, she was starting to doubt how much fun Tiana actually would’ve been.

TIANA

“I had work.” Why was Cora harping on this? (She wasn’t). “Anyway, I said we’d do something else. Which we’re doing. So.” The irritation started creeping into Tiana’s tone more obviously.

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t trying that hard not to cause problems.

CORA

Her jaw worked a little, the tone of Tiana’s voice pulling her brows down into a frown.

“Which I didn’t force you to do,” she said, because had she? No. Tiana had suggested it. And yet she was acting like Cora had pulled her there by her hair. “If you didn’t want to meet up, we didn’t have to.”

TIANA

“I didn’t say that. I was just saying, like, I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the ball, but it’s not like I didn’t plan something else, so you don’t have to say all this about how much you missed me,” Tiana scowled. She was being unfair here, and she knew it— Cora hadn’t meant anything negative by those comments, and under normal circumstances, Tiana would have apologized for not being there and asked how it went and the conversation would have moved on normally.

This wasn’t normal, though. Things were weird between them lately, and Tiana had a sinking feeling that it was her fault, no matter how much she tried to find a way that it wasn’t. So it was easier to read bad intention into what Cora said, to try and absolve her own guilt. It didn’t really help, though.

CORA

“What’s up with you?” Cora asked. The barman set their drinks down and then made a speedy retreat. Cora never took her eyes off Tiana, demanding answers.

“You’ve been mardy for ages. I’ve tried to talk, you brush me off. Im not letting you brush me off. Tell me what the hell is up.”

TIANA

Tiana stirred her drink with its straw, but she didn’t drink it. She didn’t know why she’d ordered it. She didn’t even really like Campari.

That was probably not what she should be focusing on right now. She should answer Cora’s question. But she didn’t want to, because she knew the answer, and it was the wrong one. It would make her look petty and jealous and pathetic, and it would make Cora upset.

But both of those things were already true, weren’t they?

“I’m not brushing you off, I just don’t want to fight because it’s not like we get that much time with each other to begin with!” Which yes, Tiana was aware was her own doing.

CORA

Cora rolled her eyes, taking a swig from her glass that definitely didn’t give her time to appreciate the effort the bartender had put into it.

“You don’t want to fight, yeah,” She said, laughing mirthlessly. “You know what, Tiana? I can’t imagine how hard it is to have your own business. It must be hard to manage your time. But I’m busy too, and I have always tried to make time for you. And anyways, I don’t think that’s even the issue! I think you would’ve said, if it was.”

TIANA

No, it wasn't the issue. It was just an easy thing to blame. Because for as long as she could remember, Tiana had been a busy person. It was practically a personality trait at this point. And it was a reliable excuse, too— any time she didn't want to do something, oops, she had work.

So what did it mean that it had become her excuse for this, too?

She sighed. "Yeah, I know, it's not," Tiana finally said. "Look, the truth is that— well, the truth isn't nice, and it's not fair to you, and that's why I didn't want to get into it, and I know I just need to get over myself. I just- I shouldn't have come today. I obviously wasn't in the right mood for it, and now I'm just making things worse."

CORA

No, she assumed the truth wasn’t nice, but that didn’t mean they could just ignore it. Cora didn’t like to tiptoe round people. She had tried to give Tiana space, hoping that it might get her to talk.

It hadn’t worked. And to be honest, Cora was a bit sick of trying.

“What’s making it worse is you not just telling me what is wrong,” she sighed, shaking her head, looking down and away. She liked Tiana a lot. So much. But this? She didn’t know if this was worth it. “I tell you what. Tell me what’s actually the matter, or I’ll go, and we can just call it a day.”

TIANA

Part of Tiana had hoped that Cora would just say it for her, so she didn't have to say it. But Cora wasn't a mind-reader, and Tiana knew this.

She could let Cora walk out, she supposed. But she didn't want that either. And maybe, somewhere deep down, she did want to say it.

"I can't do it anymore!" Tiana blurted out. "The whole- open relationship thing. I know I said I'd get over it, and I'm working on it, but it's not that easy and I wish I were better at it because I really like you and I don't want to lose you but I just— like, maybe I need more time or something. I don't know. It's just making me feel a little bit crazy and so, yeah, I'm sorry if I haven't been in the best mood."

CORA

She had a feeling it was that. Which really sucked, because Cora just… she wasn’t the type of person to be nailed down. She wasn’t sure she would be good at monogamy. From past experiences, she would feel trapped, and then resentful, and then she would lash out, like when white women took home coyotes and then wondered why they got bitten. It just… it wouldn’t end well.

But she also didn’t want it to end. She liked Tiana a lot. So much. She chewed her lip, and when she looked at Tiana she offered her a small smile. “I think that’s an understatement.” She pointed out. Bad mood didn’t even cover it. “But I… I don’t know that I can change. I like you a lot. But I… I don’t do well, in relationships. Commitment is not my strong suit, not that kind of commitment, anyways. And I really don’t want you to make yourself miserable or crazy, not for me.” @emma

TIANA

Tiana wanted to be mad at her for that, but she couldn't. Because, first of all, Cora was right— it was an understatement. But also…

Well, it was that smile that told her that, even if they were fighting, they were kind of on the same side.

Because despite it all, despite the guilt and resentment and hurt feelings and jealousy and every other thing that was mixed up in the past few months, Tiana cared about Cora a lot. And she knew Cora cared about her too. Maybe if Tiana had cared about her less, she wouldn't have tried so hard to shield Cora from how she really felt about their relationship. Maybe. But now she had to care about Cora enough to actually listen to her.

"I know. And that's why I didn't want to say all that— like, I don't want you to be someone you're not," Tiana said. "I just… don't know what we do."

CORA

She shrugged her shoulders a little, that small half-smile still lingering on her features. What did they do? Cora didn't know either, really. Well. Not true - she just didn't like the only solution she could think of.

All she knew was that Tiana deserved to be happy. They had been seeing each other for long enough that if she was going to be cool about it, she would be by now. But she wasn't, and it was driving both of them mad, Tiana's bad mood making Cora want to tear her hair out. It sucked, but…

"I don't think there's anything we can do," She said, still with that comiserating smile. "You're you, and I'm me. And I think we just have to… accept that."

TIANA

"Well- I've been trying to," Tiana sighed. "I've been trying to accept it, but it's not working. Which I guess—"

It was only then that it dawned on her what Cora was probably saying.

"Oh." Tiana nodded grimly. "Yeah, I see what you're saying."

CORA

She waited for the penny to drop, and when it did, she pursed her lips a little. She really, really didn't want to do it. But what else could they do? Breaking up really seemed like the only thing left.

"If it helps, I'd really like it if it didn't have to end," It didn't help, she knew, but she wanted Tiana to know that it wasn't for lack of feeling. "But I just… I don't want us to keep plodding on when things are bad. It's not good for anyone involved."

TIANA

Tiana shook her head. "No, it's not your fault," she said, starting to choke up. Goddammit. She did not want to do this here. Why had she invited Cora out, to have this conversation in front of all these people?

Maybe because she'd really hoped they wouldn't be having this conversation. But Tiana saw now that it was inevitable. And she'd been lying to herself, telling herself otherwise.

This thing was always doomed. From the moment Cora had said she wanted to keep seeing Evy, and Tiana had told her that was fine, even though it wasn't. Tiana had really been lying to herself from the start, and Cora too.

Why did she always do this? How did she always get herself into these impossible situations?

Tiana stood up. "Sorry, I think- I think I should probably go," she said, because she really didn't want to cry in public. "You're right. Uh, let's just call it. But, uh, thanks for everything. Really. It was nice." God, she sounded like she was ducking out of a business meeting early. A tear escaped and Tiana swiped it away instinctively, burning with shame.

CORA

Maybe she should've known better than to do this in public too, but at the time when she'd agreed, she'd hoped that they might have a nice time. Everything just magically healed, no bad vibes, just the two of them, having a drink, talking, laughing, like they used to.

(Of course, there was the little voice in her head that had reminded her that it would probably end in an argument, and the even littler, more maniacal voice that had said good. Let them argue in public. Let them air it all out. Because Cora never pretended to be someone she wasn't, so what did she have to lose? Thankfully, at least, it hadn't come to that.)

Cora watched her for a moment as she stood, but when she saw the tear that just managed to land on Tiana's cheek before being swept away, she jumped to her feet as well. "Hey," She said, reaching out with one hand to pull Tiana briefly towards her so that she could kiss her again, just one last time. "Sorry, I just - well, y'know." She didn't really know how to explain herself, but she hoped Tiana would understand. "I'll see you around."

TIANA

Tiana had tried to leave quickly because she knew lingering here would only make things worse. She would cry, she would say something embarrassing, she would make a scene. That was why she didn't plan to kiss Cora goodbye.

But Cora reached for her, and Tiana couldn't blow her off. She just couldn't. Because it didn't matter the conclusion they'd reached— that they weren't right for each other, or maybe the timing just wasn't right— Tiana's feelings were as real as ever.

It was a strange thing, kissing someone and knowing it would be for the last time. At least, for now. Maybe someday Tiana would be glad she did it, but right now, it just made her sad.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "See you around." And then she was gone, drink left untouched on the bar.

[truitt-story]

aesthetic: terpsiana ( @terpsichore-of-hesiod )

"I don't think there's anything we can do. You're you, and I'm me. And I think we just have to... accept that."

"Well- I've been trying to," Tiana sighed. "I've been trying to accept it, but it's not working. Which I guess... oh. Yeah, I see what you're saying."

"If it helps, I'd really like it if it didn't have to end. But I just... I don't want us to keep plodding on when things are bad. It's not good for anyone involved."

[truitt-story]

Dazzling Images On A Huge Silver Screen | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

"I think I would want to be like that crazy looking bloke from Ancient Aliens. You know the one, with the hair out here," She pulled back from Tiana a little to gesture at her head, maybe slightly over-exaggerating just how crazy this guy's hair was. "Or, like, whatever Wendy Williams is doing. Everything she does is a meme - it's like a natural talent."

Of course in reality, Cora didn't know that she necessarily wanted to be famous for anything at all, but if she did, it would be nice if it had something to do with her dancing. Maybe she would be famous, if she could just come out and say who she was.

"Not that it wouldn't be nice to be famous as a dancer," She said in the end, settling back against Tiana. "I wouldn't mind being the next Michael Flately."

@truitt-story

Dazzling Images On A Huge Silver Screen | Terpsiana

[truitt-story]

Somebody Else | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

They probably could still work something out, if that wasn't something that Tiana was comfortable with. Cora wasn't sure what, off the top of her head, but she could put her thinking cap on and come up with something if she really had to. She would think of something, for Tiana.

But she ws sure, apparently, and whether the nonchalantness of her voice was forced or not, Cora couldn't tell. Why would she doubt her, anyway? Cora had given her the option to tell her if it was something she was uncomfortable with, and yet, here they were.

She smiled as she gave a nod, dark eyes twinkling as she looked at Tiana. "Okay then," She said. She leaned over so that she could catch Tiana's lips in a kiss, brief, but tender. "Just, you know. Any problems, talk to me. Communication is key, right?"

@truitt-story

Is It Casual Now? | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Had she said something wrong? She didn't think that she had, but from the way Tiana was acting, it really did seem like Cora had put her foot in it somewhere. She didn't think she had, but then again she did have a habit of talking quite a lot and quite quickly, and maybe on occasion she said things without realising she had said them, but she really didn't think she had said anything out of turn.

She blinked, nodding, and turned back to the dishes again. "Sure," She said, trying to sound normal, though she knew she fell a bit short. She didn't really have anything else to say, though. All she could really think about was the tone in Tiana's voice, and Cora had never been one to shy away fro anything that might be vaguely uncomfortable, so she asked, "Is everything okay?"

@truitt-story

Somebody Else | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

She cringed a little, turning back to the dishes momentarily, just long enough so that she could reach for the tea towel to dry her hands off. She threw the towel over her shoulder, turning around to face Tiana properly for the first time in a little while and she reached out, wanting to take Tiana's hands in her own. Standing at the sink with her back to the situation wasn't going to be good at all.

"I don't want to forget about it if it's upsetting you," She said, because quite clearly, Tiana was upset. "Whatever it is, we can talk about it."

@truitt-story

Somebody Else | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Cora laughed, her answering grin wide and mildly surprised. She was at least glad to know that she wasn't barking up the wrong tree here; she liked Tiana. And she liked hanging out with Tiana, but she also thought she'd like to do a lot more than just hanging out with Tiana.

But for now, the movie was on, and they would get to that wheneber they got to it. Cora was quite happy to move at whatever pace suited Tiana, anyways; se had always been more of a go with the flow kind of girl. She still settled in a little, though, leaning against her just a little more than before.

"I aspire to that level of infamy," she said with an over-dramatic sigh. "To be such an internet meme that people forget what it is that you actually do. Now that is success."

Dazzling Images On A Huge Silver Screen | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Cora kept her eyes on the dishes, her eyebrows arching just a touch, lips pursing. Okay, so everything was not alright. And it wasn't really much of a leap for Cora to assume that Evy was the problem here, given that Tiana had been laughing along just before before Cora had mentioned her. But hadn't they talked about this? Cora had been clear, hadn't she?

"...So you would rather I didn't tell you about me and Evy hanging out?" She said slowly, risking a glance over her shoulder. It seemed like that would just cause more drama, after all.

@truitt-story

Somebody Else | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Cora didn't mind being vulnerable like that -- crying in front of someone, ruining whatever self-perceived image they had of her. She was multi-faceted, she contained multitudes, etc etc. Yes she was endlessly charming and exhaustingly outgoing, but she wasn't afraid to cry.

Still, watching romantic type movies on a date did always seem a little bit forced, at least in her opinion. She had put the option out there cause it seemed a little more traditional than watching an old Tim Burton movie, but it was kind of cliche. And she had made sure to do her makeup nice for this date, too, so if she could avoiding her mascara running then it was a win, in her book.

"I promise to be a gentleman and let you hide behind me if you get scared," She grinned, clicking away at the remote until the movie had loaded up, and the opening credits began to play. "Maybe that was my plan all along, anyway."

Dazzling Images On A Huge Silver Screen | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Cora was fascinated with the way Tiana could just think these things up. Maybe it because she wasn't a very imaginative cook (more of a meal kit person, or a make-the-same-recipe-50-times-in-a-row-until-it-lost-its-appeal sort of person), but the way Tiana could just show up at Cora's door with three flavours of popcorn that Cora would never have thought of as being flavours for popcorn... it was impressive. And it was cute, how into it she got. It was always nice to talk to someone who had a passion for something.

She laughed as Tiana changed the subject, this time deciding not to argue -- she had already told her that she liked it when she got carried away talking about cooking or the restaurant or whatever. "Okay, so we have Sleepy Hollow, which I know seems a weird choice but it's one of my favourites, and also it's already pretty cold for summer, so I'm in autumn mode." She grinned. "Or we have About Time, which is also one of my favourites, but I will cry. Several times. And it'll be ugly. I'm an ugly crier."

Dazzling Images On A Huge Silver Screen | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Cora was not at all worried about being able to juggle more than one partner, 'cause whilst this wasn't her first rodeo, it was also like she said: nothing too serious. As long as everyone was having fun, she didn't see why you couldn't have fun with more than one person.

The main thing was making sure that all parties involved were fully aware of what the deal was, and that everyone felt listened to and paid attention to. And Cora was great at time management, given that she had school, her real job, and several side hustles, so she didn't think it was going to be putting too much on her plate to be in a few relationships.

But Tiana... Tiana did not seem casual. She seemed all-in. And Cora liked that about her! If Tiana was doing something, she did it, and she didn't skimp or half-arse anything. It was admirable. But it didn't really seem condusive to accepting your partner being in an open relationship.

"Are you sure?" She asked, tilting her head a little. "I know a lot of people wouldn't be cool with that, and I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, so... just as long as you're sure."

@truitt-story

Is It Casual Now? | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

She shrugged, nonchalant as she settled down on the couch, reaching for the remote. She had travelled a lot in a relatively short amount of time, to places she never would have ever thought of travelling to. That was what Muses did, though. They travelled. And all humans, no matter who they were, no matter where they lived, or how they lived, everybody danced. It may not look like dancing to someone else, but Cora could recognise it in her soul, the magic in her seeking it out, which meant that there was no corner of the earth that didn't call out to her.

But anyways, that was a conversation for another day. For now she had taken her seat, close enough to Tiana for their arms to brush when she leaned forward, taking a few pieces of popcorn from one bowl. She tried her best to recall each flavour, wishing she had listened better.

"I promise to give a genuine and honest review," She winked, popping the small handful of popcorn into her mouth as she loaded up their options. "Okay, so I have two in mind: something spooky, or something kinda sappy-" She paused, putting her hand in front of her mouth so she didn't spit popcorn everywhere. "Hang on, is this the rosemary thyme one? It's so good. Reminds me of, like, the best Sunday roast. Like an absolutely perfect dinner. This is amazing."

Dazzling Images On A Huge Silver Screen | Terpsiana

[terpsichore-of-hesiod]

Okay, so Cora did kinda set Tiana up with that one. And she knew it. But hey, Tiana had initiated the conversation, and Cora was interested to see where she was going with it before she said anything herself.

Cora liked Tiana - a lot. She wouldn't still be here if she didn't, because she wasn't one to spend time doing things she didn't want to do, nor was she afraid to be honest at the expense of other peoples feelings. If it hadn't been fun, if Tiana hadn't been cute and interesting and someone Cora wanted to spend time with, she would've been out of there.

But Cora didn't really do serious. Life was too short; her presence too temporary. She was putting down roots in Swynlake, wanting to start a dance school in town, but that didn't mean she was going to stay. And even if she did, the influx of cute, interesting people in this town was something else. Her eyes tended to wander; she knew that about herself.

She did like Tiana though. A lot. Which was why she said, "I do know. To be perfectly honest, I don't normally spend this much time with someone I met on tinder." She grinned, hoping it might make Tiana less tense. "And as for making things more serious... I would love to. But I don't normally do serious. And I might have a thing with Evy. You know Evy, right? Not a serious thing, more of an open thing, but if you're okay with that...?"

@truitt-story

Is It Casual Now? | Terpsiana