#terminal casgirlism (gn)

[doctorprofessorsong]

OK listen.

I love the confession for the absolutely heart wrecking romantic gesture it was. The act of pure love that brought a cosmic being true happiness in a way he has never known. The way he looked at Dean Winchester, still beautiful, and told him with his dying breath "I love you." Pure true romance.

But as a casgirl (TGP Janet voice: not a girl), I also think a lot about

Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean

From a character arc perspective this makes me want to walk into the sea. It's so fucking beautiful.

Cas is talking about the transformative power of love. Metatron was right. He was in love with humanity BECAUSE he learned to love from Dean. Because he loves Dean. Even before he can put words to it. And therefore he does love the whole world.

Cas was a loyal soldier. Lobotomies acknowledged, he murdered for Heaven over and over. He killed kids.

He wasn't strolling through Hell, saw a beautiful soul, and decided to rescue it. He was on a mission and he believed it to be a righteous one. A good one. He was actively working to cause the apocalypse and thought Dean should believe it an honor to be used.

Watching him untangle that past and learn to love and more importantly to be loved is something that speaks to me.

He isn't seeking redemption. He doesn't think he's redeemable in that sense (or perhaps it's more accurate to say forgiveness is something that he can’t control. It must be given from people like Lily Sunder)

But he does believe he can change and love and build a family even though he can't undo his past.

He doesn't have to let the past define who he is, and he doesn't have to serve the purpose his family believes is set out for him.

In 15x15, Cas says:

Like he still lives with his trauma but he isn't defined by it. He rebuilt himself and found a family and has a kid. He loves and is loved.

Anyway, yes he loves Dean, but he also loves the world. He also changed. And that is just as beautiful to me.

[astermacguffin]

Casgirlism (gn) as a phenomenon is fascinating because depending on how terminal your castiel derangement syndrome is, you generally have around 4 kinds of people:

1. people who love cas and have no strong opinions about dean

2. people who both love cas and dean (whether they have faves or they love them in roughly equal measures)

3. people who love cas and develop second-hand deangirlism (gn) because of how much they love cas

4. people who love cas to the point where it gets warped and they end up being dean crits (non-affectionate)

Would love it if someone makes a survey about thjs so we have statistical data to analyze actually