#termelon

[crinkled-emotions]

ok ok ok here we go. Lemme set the stage... Hangman is late to class (which nEVER happens right?? jk yes it does). He comes running, literally running and frantically eating his microwaved breakfast, into the classroom right as Maverick starts lecturing. Then Pete is like "kk fam we're doing aerobatics maneuvers today so suit up ASAP." Hangman tries to scarf down his food, Bad Idea #1, then go up in the jet and do all sorts of crazy shit, Bad Idea #2.

BOOM. TUMMYACHE.

(I have had too much coffee this morning but tbh I regret nothing)

......w*termelon s*gar

*sobs* watermelon... s*gar... I'm fine.

I asked Hangman what he thought about this and dude pretended to be dead and I was like well damn that's a vibe but also- dude, the world's not gonna end... or is it?

Anyway it's nearly midnight but my little brain says you didn't work today use your noggin for something useful and here we go!!

No listen I'm thinking of that one story about the jet, and the puke, and it all- I won't share the whole thing. It's on youtube. Sorry Glen lmao. (time stamped link!)

-

Despite being in the US Navy, where scheduling was key, things tended to be a little up in the air a majority of the time. The Daggers had come to rely on some very basic facts that would get them through everything mildly unstable or the rapid changes in their day to day lives;

The first, Rooster was the mother hen of their group and according to Maverick, he got it from his dad. For a man who had once upon a time almost punched Hangman for making a comment about his two fathers, he was incredibly docile a majority of the time and tended to have advice or a hug for those who needed it.

Phoenix always started the day by throwing an arm over Bob's shoulders at breakfast and stealing his hashbrown from his plate at breakfast because she wasn't quite hungry enough for a full meal but she was indeed hungry enough to eat them every morning. He'd started asking for extra in the queue and the kitchen staff found it hilarious.

Payback and Fanboy, once an inseparable duo, had now roped Bob in with them and the three of them spent a lot of time tossing a football around or talking about something nerdy. Bob preferred Red Dwarf to Star Trek and apparently Fanboy had never heard of Red Dwarf so they were watching that in their spare time. Payback, ever the supportive pilot, always made the drinks and snacks for their viewing sessions.

Lastly, Hangman was never late. Ever. Not even to a doctor's appointment on the other side of base, or to a gathering at Maverick's a few weeks back when he had a dentist appointment right before. Rooster asked him about it once, the first time they went through TOPGUN, and Hangman had shrugged, claiming he'd been raised that being late was never a good look.

-

Yawning, Maverick stood near the lecturn and reached for his paperwork, grimacing.

"Why are we still doing roll call? What are we, twelve?"

"Thirteen, actually Mav, I think I'm getting my first chest hair," Rooster deadpanned which earned snorts of laughter. Maverick sighed, leaning on said lecturn and grimacing.

"Bradley, please, now is not the time to be talking about your delayed-"

"-I'm sorry I'm late, sir. I had to- never mind."

Hangman came rushing into the room, some kind of microwaveable burrito in his hand as he took his seat at the front of the room. Maverick watched him for a moment, shock written on his face, and then he cleared his throat.

"Don't worry about it, I hadn't said anything important yet. Uh, okay, so if the email didn't send last night, a recap of what we're doing today-"

"-what email?" Phoenix asked, confusion on her face, and Maverick blinked for a moment.

"I can't tell if you're fucking with me or I didn't send it right."

He looked to Bob for support but Bob shrugged, staying silent.

"Alright then... I guess we'll go over it. This morning we're getting straight into hops, we're fixing some manoeuvres I wasn't so sure of last week, and then the rest of today we should be- Bagman, you wanna give yourself a moment to breathe before you choke on that poor burrito? What'd it do to you?"

Maverick had been watching Hangman out of the corner of his eye since he came in, surprised to find him scarfing down his breakfast. The younger aviator blushed, tentatively putting down his burrito.

"Sorry, sir."

"Mmhmm. Okay guys, off you go, get your pre-flight checks done and let me know if you need anything. Bradley we'll talk about your sass later."

"Sure thing, Mav."

-

Honestly, the breakfast burrito hadn't even had time to settle as Hangman scrambled into his flight suit. He could hear Bob struggling with his zippers as usual and glanced over his shoulder at Rooster, who was humming along to whatever song was in his head.

"Hey, mom, you wanna help Baby on Board into his baby grow?"

"Suck a fat one, Bagman, I don't see you getting into yours so easy," Bob replied dryly, yet he extended his arms for Rooster to help him. Rooster huffed at Hangman, but chose not to respond. Hangman grimaced, feeling his stomach cramp, and put his ass back on the bench for a moment to recover.

"Oh shit, you're gonna blow chunks before the hop?" Payback scoffed as he rounded the corner from his locker, heading to the exit. To Hangman's surprise he was actually talking to Fanboy, who was bent over the sink and not looking so hot.

"Man, those fuckin' 'ritos, I swear to god I get sick every time I eat them."

Hangman's body temperature suddenly dropped and he shivered, swivelling toward the sinks in the locker room.

"Hey, Fanboy, what did you mean?"

"I was super hungry this morning but I got to breakfast late enough that there were only burritos left."

Oh, fuck.

-

"Okay, split into two teams. Coyote, I want you to spend some time working with Rooster today, you and Hangman are completely in sync but you and Rooster seem to be ever so slightly out."

"Yes sir," Coyote replied easily, navigating back toward Rooster's jet.

"Hangman, today I really want you to focus on communicating with... everyone, really."

His stomach was cramping again, and he could feel bile building in his throat. He swallowed it down, one eye on the air and the controls while he frantically searched for the puke bags. He'd just restocked them, he was sure-

"You got that, Hangman?"

He didn't have it, but he agreed anyway.

"Yes sir, I got it. Hey, do I get bonus points for taking out Rooster?"

"Sure, why not."

"What- hey! Mav!" Rooster protested. The Daggers could hear Maverick laughing.

"It'd be nice for you to be quiet for five minutes, so sure, you two compete against each other first. The first person to get tone wins, we'll wait over here."

"Fight's on!" Rooster called, clipping his mask on properly. Hangman furrowed his brows, chasing him through the clouds. They were matched neck-for-neck, but then Rooster pulled the move Maverick had taught him and let Hangman pull up to his tail, trying to get tone. Right at the last second he pulled up and settled behind Hangman, tone sounding immediately.

"God damn it," Hangman hissed whilst the others cheered. He could hear Rooster laughing through the comms and swore, ripping his mask off to catch his breath.

"Alright you two, knock it off. Hangman, sounds like you just earned yourself 200 push ups."

The rest of the Daggers cackled. Hangman winced, pinching the bridge of his nose as his stomach grumbled.

Oh, hell, seriously-

"Alright, everyone invert, we're going to-"

His stomach cramped and then he felt the bile rising again, but this time it was coming up. Reaching for where the sick bags were supposed to be he found nothing and cursed himself, one hand navigating his jet while the other covered his mouth just in case.

"Who is that gagging? Is everyone good?" Maverick asked. When the other Daggers called back that they were okay, Maverick cleared his throat.

"Hangman, I think you should go back to base, yeah? Get back on solid ground."

"S-sir, I- Mav-"

Too late.

-

"Guys, I'm so- fuck- I'm so sorry."

"It's not the worse we've seen, but your jet is out of commission for the rest of today at least."

The ground crew peered into Jake's jet, matching grimaces on both of their faces at the splashes of puke all over the controls and his seat. He was still sitting on the wing, a bucket in his arms as Maverick watched from the ground. His hands were on his hips and his aviators were staying over his eyes, but neither of these things hid the concern on his face.

"How long have you been feeling sick?" Maverick asked, shielding his face from the sun with his hand.

"Uh, think it was the breakfast burrito. Fanboy wasn't so hot either."

He buried himself back in the bucket, puking up what little he had left. Maverick grimaced, watching the rest of the Daggers coming over from where they'd all abruptly landed to see what was going on.

"Did anyone else eat the breakfast burrito?" Maverick asked them. When they all shook their heads, he facepalmed.

"You're all excused. Jake, get down from there, I'll take you home."

"Mav I'm not going anywhere until the wing stops spinning."

"Fair enough. Scoot to the edge, you can pretty much slide on to Rooster's shoulders."

"Hey-"

"-what-"

"-shut up you two, just work together for once. Rooster, go and stand by the wing."

"Yes sir," Rooster huffed, Payback going over to give him a hand. Hangman passed the bucket down to Coyote who seemed mildly disgusted and then scooted to the end of the wing. He managed to slide down, wrapping his arms around Rooster's neck. Rooster caught his legs but then proceeded to pretend to drop him. It was enough to rekindle the nausea and Hangman buried his head into Rooster's shirt. In seconds it was damp and he couldn't believe he'd just puked on his frenemy. He was never going to live this down.

-

[sahalcyon]

Prayers

Watermelon wa termelon watermelon watermelon wa

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

termelon

suicide.

yes or yes,

[ghost-roads]

.

[deglutitionborborygmus]

i would rather not listen to a song about oral sex whilst eating my mashed potatoes

[farharbour]

it is with a heavy heart that i must inform you all that i no longer trust people w/ the word “watermelon” in their url

[catfrommandelacountybasement]

...just a hypothetical question,

would a being thing the rough size of a particularly large wa termelon be able tofit inside?.? ?

KITTY!! I was summoned :>)

oh, h ello!!

[talkfastcal]

IN THIS WORLD ITS JUST US YOU KNOW ITS NOT THE SAME AS IT WAS!!!

[harryrimminglouis]

.

[finn-the-sergal]

Stand behind my glorious watermelon armor and be amazed as I release my protective bubble of grape flavoring. Stare in awe as I wield my melon-y goodness against the foes of the Light. My melon guns will leave all who stand in my way a crumpled pile on the floor that vaguely smells of fresh-cut watermelon. Fear me, for I am the Melon King, the Knight of the Melon, the Shield of Watermelon, The Wall-termelon.

[bisexualrapline]

i keep seeing posts where people are talking about songs not being “worthy” of grammys and i’m just like. how are you equating a grammy award with any kind of worthiness or actual musical credibility like. w*termelon s*gar won best pop solo performance last year and if i never hear that song again it’ll be too soon. rain on me won pop duo/group performance and i literally listened to half of that song once and got so bored i had to turn it off.

i just don’t understand how you can be like “the grammys are racist and have been losing credibility” and at the same time discuss the “worthiness” of a song to win a grammy. those are two completely opposite concepts

[awwsocuteanimals]

Paw-terMelon

[iluvromance]

the princess diaries characters as (enter fave artists here) songs because i’m bored and it’s michael’s birthday so why not. it’s kinda long so it’s under the cut:

the characters as harry styles songs:

mia: carolina / only angel

lilly: woman. maybe kiwi in later books.

tina: sunflower vol. 6 / to be so lonely

michael: canyon moon

jp: w*termelon s*gar

***

the characters as one direction songs:

mia: you and i (because this bitch dramatic af) / strong 

lilly: she’s not afraid / drag me down

tina: infinity / olivia

boris: half a heart

michael: 18 / no control / if i could fly / i want to write you a song (for obvious reasons)

***

the characters as taylor swift songs:

mia: red / tear drops on my guitar / fifteen / style (in later books) / cornelia street

lilly: i did something bad (i will not negotiate on this. this song was MADE for her) / bad blood / the man

grandmere: see above / ...ready for it?

tina: tim mcgraw / end game / willow / happiness

boris: cardigan 

michael: holy ground / wildest dream / delicate / lover / coney island

jp: we are never ever getting back together 

***

the characters as the beatles songs:

mia: let it be / something / here comes the sun / i will 

lilly: lady madonna / ticket to ride

tina: i want to hold your hand / all you need is love

michael: i feel fine / yesterday / all my loving / help!

jp: no

***

the characters as arctic monkeys songs:

mia: snap out of it / one point perspective / piledriver waltz

lilly: the ultracheese / arabella / fluorescent adolescent 

tina: baby i’m yours 

michael: i wanna be yours / do me a favor 

jp: when the sun goes down (specifically the scum bag line)

***

the characters as fleetwood mac / stevie nicks songs:

mia: dreams / seven wonders / angel / as long as you follow

lilly: rhiannon / edge of seventeen

tina / boris: say you love me / dreams / stop dragging my heart around

michael: go your own way (dfgfdkfjghjdkf sorry) / you make loving fun 

***

the characters as lana del rey songs:

mia: hope is a dangerous thing / brooklyn baby / love / how to disappear

lilly: fuck it i love you 

tina: happiness is a butterfly / beautiful people / venice bitch

(i really can’t think of anything for the dudes)

*** 

the characters as random songs:

mia: save your tears (the weeknd) / break up w your gf (ariana) / rosanna (toto) / golden hour, velvet elvis (kacey musgraves)

lilly: boss bitch (doja cat) / the story (brandi carlile) / smells like teen spirit (nirvana)

michael: miss you (trs) / microphone (coconut records) / bad habit (the kooks) / leaving my love behind (lewis capaldi) / happy (trs) / ivy (frank ocean) / les cactus (tlsp)

tina: space girl (frances forever) / scared to live again (the weeknd) / somebody to love (queen) / just a little bit of your heart (ariana)

boris: no expectations (trs, only in book 5)

[indigogirled]

Ahh okay. I thought you were this other blog but I guess not. Also you said you don’t post harry anymore- if you don’t mind me asking why? I don’t follow a lot of harry central blogs so I don’t know whats going on over there

SKASAKJA no i am unfortunately not that blog 😘

about harry: 

i feel like he’s becoming too estranged from the fandom. at first it was fine because we still saw him at least once every two weeks but now it’s like once every six months and it’s ALWAYS in a way he’s profiting off of. 

the rest of the boys are off social media for the most part too, but louis checks up on us and liam&niall try to do things for the fandom every once in a while. (and even though zayn is MIA he still makes good music that isn’t uncomfortable to listen to, w*termelon s*gar. he doesn’t forcibly profit off of us with bad merch and we know that his life is lived better without it being broadcasted because of his anxiety. for harry it’s all about image)

i also can’t talk about harry without bringing up the zionism & ben winston, so there’s that 

i do really wish harry all the best, but he’s frankly just getting boring cause he doesn’t ever do shit but stunt stunt stunt and the majority of his solo fans are embarrassing and rude 💕💕

[il-y-aaaahhhh]

wah-termelon sugar

[kiwi]

iff you eat a wa termelon sneed, the watermelon will become in your stomach. Watch out

oh shit man thanks for watching out