#teresa the vacuum lady

[jeweledmonstera]

These are the hardest workweeks in years. Everyone is working overtime to start the biPAPs. Steve says in a month or two they'll be flying off the shelves.

The good news is Carlin and I are both making so much overtime that it more than made up for the deck repair. Hooray! The bad news is, between work, chores, and studying, I haven't had a spare day to sit down and reflect upon my life as I need to.

Pride weekend was great. On Saturday we had a get-together at our house with Caitlin, Josh and Jake, Jeff and Nicole, and of course Teresa...whatever. Winona barbecued. Amelia and I had a splash fight in the hot tub. We played a few rounds of lemonade pong.

On Sunday we went to a family-friendly park thing. My coworker Natasha was there with her wife Kelli, and they have a baby named Oliver about the size of a cat. He smiled at me!

Mary Lou and Steve were at Pride dressed in bi flag colors, showing off their biPAP to like 6 or 7 people the whole time. Tough crowd.

In other news, Carolyn is still being a pest. Tessa says she sees her with binoculars, peeking through the apple tree to spy on us. I asked who had the binoculars, her or Carolyn. "Both."

[purpleliketheplague]

Low Budget Little Toaster 10 of 12

The carriage wheels are turning.

(SNAP)

Get a shot of them, happy to be out of the parts shop.

(SNAP)

They go up the hill.

(SNAP)

And now they're at the city.

(SNAP)

They're going down the hill.

(SNAP)

The blankets looks at the Master's photo.

(SNAP. When are the other appliances coming in?)

Just wait a while, Smith. Now I want a photo of each of the Master's photos.

(SNAP)

Now the Master himself.

(SNAP. Well, Bobby's older brother Brandon has to start somewhere.)

He's getting ready for college.

(SNAP)

Now, he's leaving the apartment. Quick! Guys! Bring in the new appliances.

(Are these your appliances? SNAP)

Yes, they are. A shot of the phone.

(SNAP)

And here's his girlfriend.

(SNAP. Teresa from student council?)

Yes. Now I want a shot of the entertainment complex.

(SNAP. Wow, how much did that thing cost?)

A lot. Oh, get the purple lamp in frame too.

(SNAP. You just cut to traffic outside.)

And now they're going. They just passed the Master.

(SNAP)

I want some neon lights.

(SNAP. A bunch of Open for business signs? Really?)

Quick! Get our heroes on a city street.

(SNAP)

They're reading a phone book.

(SNAP)

Tear a page out of it.

(SNAP. Hey, that's not a phone book! That's an old dictionary.)

Have them ask for directions.

(SNAP. A repurposed basketball hoop? Not a stop light?)

The Master's car pulls up to the cottage.

(SNAP)

And now our heroes are at the apartment.

(SNAP)

Knock at the door.

(SNAP. You just had one of the crewmen knock.)

Now the radio knocks.

(SNAP)

Open the door. The purple lamp is there.

(SNAP.)

It rushes back inside.

(SNAP)

The others know who they are.

(SNAP)

Now the lamp lets them in.

(SNAP)

The radio is first in.

(SNAP)

Now, I want to get a good look at the others.

(SNAP. TRS-80, really? You couldn't have gone with a newer model?)

I had to work with what I had. Now back to the cottage.

(SNAP)

Now close up of the Master.

(SNAP)

Bring his girlfriend in.

(SNAP)

Now back at the apartment. The appliances are meeting.

(SNAP)

Close up on Radio.

(SNAP)

Now, I want a shot of the computer. And the purple lamp.

(SNAP)

Now, the sewing machine.

(SNAP. Really? A couple lunch ladies as voice actresses?)

Now pull the blanket past it.

(SNAP)

Now, the others join the blanket.

(SNAP)

They're looking at the Master's photos.

(SNAP)

Now, bring that old TV into view.

(SNAP)

They're reunited.

(SNAP)

Now, the purple lamp turns the TV's dial.

(SNAP)

The lamp and the radio scold the purple lamp.

(SNAP)

Back at the cottage. Master and his girlfriend go inside.

(SNAP)

It's a mess.

(Multiple SNAPs)

Bring them closer. The new ones... and the old ones.

(SNAP. Is this another musical number?)

Soon. Where's the synth music?

(The Casio keyboard orchestra performed this score.)

And flashing lights.

(SNAP)

Get a shot of the new guys. Dancing.

(SNAP)

The purple lamp and Stereo. Put them near our heroes.

(SNAP)

Now I want a shot of the computer.

(SNAP. You have minesweeper on that thing.)

Now the phone.

(SNAP)

Overhead shot.

(SNAP)

Computer is beside the lamp.

(SNAP)

TV locked away.

(SNAP)

Bring the lamp closer to the sewing machine.

(SNAP)

Now the computer spits out paper.

(SNAP. That looks like something else... kinda.)

The lamp is on the mixer.

(SNAP. Hey, aren't these vacation photos your sneaked in?)

Now put the radio and the stereo in one shot.

(SNAP)

Now drop packages on the toaster.

(SNAP)

Where's the space backdrop? Put the purple lamp in front of it.

(SNAP)

Put the toaster beside the food processor.

(SNAP)

Move it to where the toaster oven is.

(SNAP)

A car and two boats.

(SNAP. Those are clearly models.)

The computer, the stereo and the purple lamp. Dancing.

(SNAP. And a model plane?)

Old vacuum and new vacuum.

(SNAP)

Old lamp and new lamps.

(SNAP)

Toaster floating in a void.

(SNAP)

And they're all on the bed.

(SNAP)

[morphofan]

Merry Christmas, Jenny Rose

Hello, @pinkluminarystarlight it’s your Venture Bros. Secret Santa here! Well, not secret anymore, obviously. :-D Here’s the fic you asked for! Enjoy! And thank you for the challenge! 

The request: “A spoof of "Manimal" w/ Dr. Orpheus as Dr. Chase, Tatiana as Det. Mckenzie, Jefferson Twilight as Ty, Alchemist as Lt. Rivera, Triana as Teresa, it can be a flashback so it doesn't mess w/ continuity.”

A VERY MANIMAL CHRISTMAS

*DING-DONG!*

 "Al," Orpheus called from the kitchen, "Can you get the door for me, please, I am presently elbow-deep in hummus!"

 "Kinky!" Al called back with a laugh as he jogged down the hall to the front door. He tried briefly and unsuccessfully to look through the peephole, but since it was designed for Byron, it was good foot above his head. He opened the door, and was greeted by two lovely ladies.

 "Triana!" he exclaimed, "How are you, lil peanut? I've missed you!" he embraced Orpheus' daughter warmly, and she hugged him back just as hard.

 "Doing fine," she replied, "Mom's been training me, I can't wait to show you!"

 "Later, dear one," Tatyana said gently, stroking her daughter's black and violet hair, "Let's get inside and get our coats off before you start casting any spells." The raven-haired beauty unbuttoned her coat, and smiled as Al gallantly took it off her shoulders.

 "Hi Tatsy," he said quietly, smiling, "Merry Christmas. I'm so pleased you came." He folded her coat over his arm and leaned up as she reached down to kiss his cheek. "Byron's in the kitchen, as usual."  The two old friends laughed together as Al closed the door and led them into the living room.

 "Hey, look who's here!" Jefferson said brightly as he rose from the couch to greet the newcomers. He hugged Triana, and then Tatyana, then escorted them over the couch. "Can I get you ladies a drink?" he asked, moving to stand beside the punch bowl on the table in the corner.

 "Is there anything in that punch I should know about?" Tatyana asked teasingly, "Especially before I let Triana have any?"

 "Moooom," Triana groaned, rolling her eyes.

 "It's just plain old punch," Jefferson chuckled, filling two cups, "Nothing naughty in it, I promise." He brought the cups over to the couch and handed them to Triana and Tatyana.

 "Who wants PITA CHIPS?" Orpheus announced loudly, appear in the doorway with a tray, "Also, organic sun-dried tomato hummus, homemade by yours truly!" He crossed the room and set the tray on the coffee table, before kissing his daughter on the head. He hesitated as Tatyana rose, then relaxed as his ex-wife hugged him.

 "Nice to see you, Byron," she said softly, kissing him on the cheek, "Merry Christmas."

 "Likewise, my dear," the necromancer replied, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it politely, "Thank you for coming." He glanced around the room, then, and raised a quizzical eyebrow? "Did The Outrider not accompany you? I hope he knows he is welcome, here."

 "Oh, he'll be along," Tatyana replied as she sat back down on the couch, "He had some business to attend to, first. Work, work, work."

 "OK, I know we all agreed, no gifts," Al began sheepishly, "But I found something for Triana that I just couldn't resist. I hope that's OK." He reached inside his robe and withdrew a small, flat, wrapped package.

 "Awww," Triana said, as she took the gift, "Thanks, Al." She held it up and shook it a little. "Movies?" she guessed with a grin.

 Al just shrugged mysteriously at her.

 She ripped the paper off to find not one, but TWO DVDs. "Oh my gosh, Al!" she exclaimed, "WHERE did you find these?"

 "What are they?" Jefferson asked, leaning over her shoulder to read the titles, "Manimal… and Nightman? Never heard of them."

 "They're a couple of old TV shows that NEVER got the respect they deserved," Triana said, looking over the back of the box for Manimal. This one was on in 1983, and Nightman was 1998."

 "Nightman was a separate show, but they did a crossover with Manimal, and it was awesome," Al explained, "Simon MacCorkindale plays Dr. Jonathan Chase, and he's got these powers that let him turn into an animal. And he's a Hottie McHottersons!"

 Everyone chuckled.

 "I�� vaguely remember Manimal," Orpheus said, "It was on about the same time as Automan, was it not?" He came to sit beside his daughter, as Tatiana sat on her other side.

 "Oh yeah, yeah," Jefferson chimed in, "I remember Automan! The computer guy with the awesome car, right?"

 "Indeed," Byron confirmed with a nod.

 "Thanks so much, Al," Triana said, standing up to hug the monk, "This is amazing." She gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

 "My pleasure, kiddo," he said kindly.

 Triana tucked her gifts into her handbag, looking forward to watching them later.

 "So, Triana," your mother tells me you've been making excellent progress with your training," Orpheus said, "Would you like to give us a demonstration?"

 "Sure!" she jumped up and moved to stand in the center of the room. "Watch this," she said, grinning. Focusing her power and concentration, she traced a circle in the air, and a very small, very weak inter-dimensional portal sparkled into existence.

 "Whoo!" Jefferson exclaimed, clapping his hands, "Awesome! I wish I could do that."

 "Wait, there's more," Triana said with a wink. She focused harder, and the portal began to grow in size, becoming brighter and more solid-looking with each passing moment.

 "Uhhh, pumpkin?" Orpheus said nervously, glancing at Tatyanna, "I don't know if portals are a good thing to attempt this early in your training."

 "Relax, Dad," Triana replied, "I got this." No sooner had she spoken, when there was a surge of energy from the portal, and she was knocked backwards. She lost her balance and fell, striking her head on the edge of the table on her way to the floor.

 "Triana!" everyone exclaimed.

 "Owwww," the girl moaned, sitting up and rubbing the back of her aching head as her family and friends crowded around her. Orpheus helped her to her feet and guided her over to the couch. "I'm fine," she said, "Just embarrassed. That never happened before. I wonder if…. Uhhh… Dad? Mom?"

 She pointed nervously at the portal, which was now glowing brightly. Movement inside the portal was visible, now, and suddenly the room was filled with wind.

 "I'm… not doing that," Triana said uneasily.

 The portal seemed to be creating a vacuum, and several napkins shot off the table into the void. Next, the throw pillows were sucked into the maw.

 "It's getting stronger," Tatyanna said, "Byron, can you shut it down?"

 "I don't know," the necromancer said, "I don't even know how she created it, but we should…."

 Whatever they should have done would never be known, because with a great roar of rushing air and a cacophony of alarmed shouts, everyone in the room was suddenly sucked through the portal….

  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Dr Jonathan Chase... wealthy, young, handsome. A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa's deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father's legacy and the world's darkest mysteries. Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man... Manimal!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

  Triana glanced around, and found herself in what looked like an office. Her mother was sitting at the desk, inexplicably wearing a very early-80s styled suit, complete with shoulder pads that would make a quarterback jealous. Standing in front of the desk was Al, also dressed in 80s business attire. He seemed to be in the process of scolding Tatyanna.

 "…And another thing!" he said, "Your expense account is waaaaaaay out of control, Detective Mackenzie! You're not the only officer in this precinct, you know!"

 "Oh, give it a rest, Lieutenant Rivera," Tatyanna moaned, exasperatedly, "I've brought in more criminals in the past month than most of the precinct brings in all year! You're paying for the quality." She looked up and smiled flirtatiously.

 Triana was nonplussed, wondering why her mother was flirting with the Out-And-Proud Alchemist. But before she could comment, there was a knock on the office door.

 "Go away!" Al yelled.

 "Come in!" Tatyanna called, at the same time. She smiled as Al rolled his eyes.

 The door opened, and Triana's face brightened as her father and Jefferson entered. But then she hesitated. They, too, were now wearing anachronistic clothing; Her father in a sweater vest and khaki slacks, and Jefferson was in a plaid shirt and jeans!

 "Whaaaat's going on?" she stammered, taking a few steps backwards from her friends and family.

 "Teresa!" her father suddenly exclaimed, "What are you doing here?" he turned accusingly toward Al, "Rivera! Why is my daughter in a police station?"

 "I-I-I," Al stammered.

 "Eloquent as ever, Nick," Jefferson chuckled, as he moved toward Triana, "You OK, Teresa?" He laid a hand on her shoulder.

 Triana just stood there, with no idea how to respond. Clearly, she and her friends and family had been pulled through the portal into an alternate universe… but why was she the only one who remembered who she really was?

 "Oh… you know," she faked, "Just came by to talk to detective Macintosh." She gestured at her mother, who was now cocking a confused eyebrow at her.

 "Mackenzie," the older woman corrected, "And I've told you, call me Brooke, sweetheart. Or 'Auntie', if you prefer." She rose from the desk and came to embrace Triana.

 "Auntie," Triana mumbled, still deeply confused as her mother… but not her mother… hugged her.

 "Teresa came to have lunch with me," Tatyanna explained, "I'm sure Dr. Chase doesn't have a problem with that?"

 "Of course not," Orpheus replied, "Why don't we all go out for lunch? We hardly ever have all of us in one place, these days." He turned to Jefferson, "Will that work for you, Ty?"

 "You buying?" Jefferson inquired of Al.

 "No," Al grumbled.

 "Of course he is!" Tatyanna said brightly, collecting her absolutely-enormous handbag from a desk drawer.

 "Oh fine," Al conceded, "I'm starving."

 * * *

 A few minutes later, the group of five was seated at a table at a fancy restaurant. Rivera and Mackenzie seemed to be well-known by the waitstaff, because the party had their food in less than 15 minutes.

 As everyone enjoyed their lunches, Triana kept mostly silent, listening to the dialogue between the people she knew and loved. They kept talking about cases, criminals, the latest breakthroughs. Whenever someone asked her a question, she tried to keep her answers as vague as possible, trying to hide the fact that she wasn't who they thought she was.

 Teresa? Teresa Chase, as it turned out. Well at least her father was still her father…. From the conversation, she had gleaned that he was now Dr. Jonathan Chase, and he taught at NYU. Jefferson was his best friend, Tyrone Earl. Al was Lieutenant Nick Rivera, and was also her mother's boss. Her mother was detective Brooke Mackenzie.

 "I'm telling you, guys," Tatyanna was saying excitedly as she stabbed at her salad, "I am THIS CLOSE to cracking the MOMA forgery and smuggling case! I just need a few more days to really catch those crooks in the act."

 "Detective Mackenzie," Al muttered, leaning close to her, "Don't you think you should keep that confidential? Your friends aren't cops, there's no need to involve them."

 "Right," she replied, with a wink at Chase and Ty, "What do these guys know about fighting crime?"

 Triana cocked an eyebrow as her father and Jefferson suddenly tried to cover up snorts of laughter. She was clearly missing something funny, but for now, she had no idea what it was.

 Suddenly from across the restaurant, there was scream. Everyone at the table jumped to their feet, her mother and Al automatically drawing their guns.

 "Everybody stay back!"

 The source of the demand was a strung-out looking man, and he had a young woman held to him, holding a knife to her throat.

 "Let her go," Al ordered, moving toward the man and his hostage.

 "Jonathan?" Tatyanna whispered, anxiously.

 "I'm on it," he replied softly, stepping backwards, ducking behind a partition.

 Curious, Triana followed her father, and stopped short when she saw what looked like some sort of mutation behind the divider. It sort of looked like her dad, but was half… eagle? No, hawk, she realized, as the man she knew as 'Dad' completed his transformation. He was a hawk. Her dad. Was a hawk.

 "What the," she began, but then suddenly, she felt her own body began to change.

 She dropped to the floor on her hands and knees, seeing and feeling black fur sprout from her pale skin. Her clenched hands reformed into paws, and long, sharp claws emerged from the toes. She could feel her legs elongating, and she whipped her tail (TAIL?) as the bizarre transformation continued.

 "Dad!" she tried to cry out, but the scream of a panther came from her throat. She worked her mouth, feeling long, sharp, predator's teeth growing from her gums. Her tongue felt rougher than sandpaper against the roof of her mouth, and suddenly, she could smell every scrap of food in the restaurant.

 Triana hunkered down, nauseous from the multitude of smells, and weak from the changes her body had gone through. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window, and realized she had transformed into a majestic black panther.

 Before she could really process all this, out of the corner of her eye, she saw the hawk, her father, take flight. She followed, creeping stealthily along the floor.

 As she slunk between the tables, a few of the patrons noticed her, and leapt to their feet with screams of alarm.

 "Don't be afraid!" she tried to say, but all that came out was a snarl, which didn't help to ease anyone's fears.

 Up ahead near the door, her father, in his hawk form, was diving at the face of the man holding the knife. The man shrieked and swung the knife at the attacking raptor, but her father was too quick, and dodged easily.

 The hawk latched onto the man's wrist his sharp talons, and the knife dropped to clatter to the floor. The woman he'd taken hostage broke free of his grip, and ran in Jefferson's open arms.

 "Easy now, lady, you're safe," he said gently, as he escorted her to a safer part of the restaurant. They merged with the crowd of other alarmed patrons gathered near the kitchen.

 "Good work, Ty!" Tatyanna said, still training her gun on the criminal. She and Al moved cautiously toward the man, who was screaming and still trying to dislodge the hawk from his wrist.

 Triana saw the man grab the bird around the neck, and she was filled with a protective rage. With a loud, feline scream, she leapt at the man hurting her father, and sank her fangs into his thigh.

 "GAAAHHH!" the man bellowed, and released the hawk to pry at the big cat's jaws.

 Triana leaped up on her hind legs and tackled the man to the floor, moving to stand over him, baring her teeth and growling. He was whimpering in fear, holding his hands up to protect his face.

 "What the hell?" she heard Al shout, "It's a panther! Shoot it!"

 "No wait, Nick, DON'T! Tatyanna and Jefferson both cried. But the warning came too late.

 Triana heard the gunshot, and felt the bullet enter her side. It hurt worse than anything she had ever felt, and her whole body went cold in an instant. She collapsed atop the man, and he roughly pushed her aside.

 But before he could flee, Dr. Chase, in his human form again, was there. He held tight to the criminal, but staring down at Triana in horror.

 "Teresa," he breathed, as tears spilled down his cheeks.

 Now her mother was there, cradling her head. Jefferson joined them, and took her paw. Al came hesitantly to stand over her, looking in confusion from Tatyanna to Jonathan.

 "What… is going on?" he asked uncertainly.

 A strange tingle sparkled through Triana, and she felt her body shifting, returning to human form. She saw the horror and realization come over Al's face, and she tried to speak, but her voice was too faint to hear.

 "Take him!" her father barked, his voice sound hollow and far away. He handed the thug into Al's hands, and then fell to his knees to frame Triana's face in his hands. "Teresa!" he wept, "Hang on, honey. Hang on."

 With a final glance at her circle of loved ones, Triana reached up to touch her father's face… and then everything went dark….

 * * * * *

 Her head hurt.

 "Triana? Sweetheart?" her mother's voice sounded like it was underwater.

 She slowly opened her eyes, but the room spun dizzily, and she closed them again. A strong arm at her back helped her sit up, and she was cradled against someone's warm chest.

 "Pumpkin?" her father said gently, and a hand cupped her cheek, "Can you hear me?"

 "Dad?" she murmured. Something cold was pressed to the back of her head, and next she heard Al's voice.

 "C'mon, kiddo," the Alchemist said softly, "Open your eyes. You're scaring us."

 The worry in her friend's voice spurred her on, and she opened her eyes. She was in her father's living room, just as it had been earlier. She was on the floor, cradled against her father's chest, with her loved ones standing over her.

 "How is she?" a new voice asked worriedly. She followed the source of the sound and saw her stepfather standing over her mother, with his hands on her shoulders.

 "I'm OK," Triana said, struggling to sit up straighter. Her father and stepfather each took her by the arm and pulled her to her feet, and helped her make her wobbly way to the couch. "What… what happened?" she asked as she sat down.

 "You whacked your head on the table," Jefferson said, bringing her a glass of water, "Knocked yourself cold, and scared the crap out of us!"

 "It's all my fault," her stepdad said regretfully, "I tried to teleport into the room at the same time you were demonstrating your new spell, and I guess I caused some sort of magical feedback. It knocked you a good three feet!"

 She took the water gratefully, and drank it down, nodding as everything finally began to make sense. Everything from the moment she hit her head to the moment she woke up was some weird dream, triggered by Al's DVD gifts.

 "I'm so sorry, Triana," her stepfather said, kneeling next to her, laying a hand on her knee, "I feel absolutely terrible. I should have just come through the front door like a normal person…. Can you forgive me?"

 "Sure," Triana said, grinning at him, "Buy me a new car for Christmas, and we'll call it even."  Everyone laughed in relief, and she smiled at the people she loved, thankful to be home.

 THE END

[lynchgirl90]

#TwinPeaks: The 6 Craziest Revival Fan Theories, Ranked

'Twin Peaks' has inspired countless fan theories over the years, but can any of them come close to cracking what David Lynch is actually cooking up?

From the first glimpse of that weird bird that heralds the arrival of “Twin Peaks,” the television series plunged viewers into the palm of David Lynch’s hand. It’s a weird and wondrous place to be, which makes it prime fodder for fan theories. If ever a show’s symbology deserved an IMDb page, this would be it.

Thanks to Showtime, Lynch has free rein to complete the “Twin Peaks” story arc, a process that has him referencing his own “Lost Highway,” “Eraserhead,” and, most of all, “Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me.” Of course, it’s Lynch so all of this effectively clarifies nothing  — but nature hates a vacuum, and that’s why we have ample fan theories to close the gap.

So, here are six of the best fan theories for the revival series’ first four episodes, ranked by order of plausibility, from 1 (not likely) to 5 (very likely) with — what else — a cup of damn fine coffee.

Will Hawk Become BOB?

(Sources:Reddit /u/ ShoutgunSkullQ and Horror Freak News)

We know BOB is in play for this series because the wanted poster from the original series was used as promotional material for the revival. And it’s also probably worth noting that other male cast members are sporting dyed hair — except for Hawk.

But beyond this, in series co-creator Mark Frost’s  2016 “The Secret History of Twin Peaks: A Novel,” Hawk is described as a descendent of the Nez Perce tribe, who originally lived in what would become Twin Peaks. In the book, the tribe’s chief, Twisted Hair, gifts explorers Lewis and Clark with a ring. Although Twisted Hair keeps it in a leather pouch, Lewis puts the ring on. He is eventually killed and the ring is stolen from him — but could this be the same ring from The Black Lodge that sealed the fate of Laura Palmer and Teresa Banks?

This also could be what the Log Lady meant, when she told Hawk that the key to finding Cooper had something to do with his heritage. Pair this with Coop’s infamous line from Season 2 about hoping that Hawk is the one who gets sent to find him if he ever goes missing, and there could be something here. If Hawk finds the ring and puts it on in an attempt to rescue Cooper from The Black Lodge, could he become a new vessel for BOB (Mr. C is in prison, after all, and that’s no fun) or another sinister spirit?

Laura Dern Can’t Be Diane, Because Diane Isn’t Real (Sources: H. Perry Horton)

Although there’s a lot of speculation that Laura Dern might make an appearance as Diane, this feels too easy, especially for Lynch.

Instead, I have a different theory when it comes to Diane, one proposed by my former colleague H. Perry Horton in his book, “Between Two Worlds: Perspectives on Twin Peaks“: Diane isn’t real. This doesn’t really click until much later in Season 1 when Coop asks Diane to send him ear pillows to block out the singing Icelanders at The Great Northern. The ear plugs arrive the next day, suspiciously quick if Diane was to receive Coop’s micro cassette, transcribe it and fulfill his requests from halfway across the country. Add in Coop’s lingering guilt over the death of Caroline Earle, and it’s possible Diane is a form of talk therapy for Coop, especially considering how he stops talking to Diane when things heat up with Annie towards the end of Season 2.

Still, Episode 4 of the revival left off with a tantalizing cliffhanger before cutting back to The Bang Bang Club (a.k.a. the road house). Gordon Cole knows something is up with Cooper and Albert knows just the woman to help them sort it out — and he knows where she drinks. Sure, it could be Audrey but wouldn’t Diane, who presumably worked with them all in Philadelphia, make more sense?

Agent Cooper Isn’t Real; Mr. C is the Real Cooper (Source:Reddit u/Theryanfrank)

Considering how much Lynch’s filmography has influenced the revival series already, it wouldn’t be a stretch to pull “Mulholland Drive” and “Lost Highway” into the equation where our favorite agent is concerned.

Coop certainly experienced a psychological break after the death of Caroline, and while he only speaks about a physical wound, it’s evident the impact was much larger — especially if Diane isn’t real, but only a coping mechanism for Coop. The fear of intimacy that stems from Caroline’s death blankets most of Cooper’s interactions in Twin Peaks. It’s one reason he refuses to get too close to Audrey early on in the series, and it’s why he’s so drawn to the town upon his arrival. Twin Peaks isn’t just idyllic and charming; as a town with a lot of dark secrets bubbling beneath the surface, it’s a place where you can keep your demons hidden.

Coop’s fear also make him susceptible to The Black Lodge. The fear that he caused Annie’s death literally splits him in two and births Mr. C, his doppelgänger. But… what if all of this is just a crazy story concocted by a tortured mind? What if Coop, unable to rebound after the death of Caroline, turned into someone like Windom Earle and did truly terrible things? Is it possible that Mr. C has been Coop all along, and he’s created an alternate persona for himself, like Betty in “Mulholland Drive”?

Audrey is the Anonymous Billionaire in New York

(Source: The Hollywood Reporter )

We’re not the first to propose this, as The Hollywood Reporter floated the theory a week after the premiere, but this one is tempting, especially considering how much Audrey cared for Agent Cooper. By the end of Season 1, she was already risking her life by infiltrating One Eyed Jack’s to help Coop catch Laura’s killer. Audrey also proved herself to be quite business savvy towards the end of Season 2, nearly taking over her father’s business while he was reenacting The Civil War. It’s also telling that Ben Horne had a new assistant (Ashley Judd!), and Audrey was nowhere to be found.

Is it possible she took over the department store and turned it into a thriving business, one that took up residence in New York City? Since the anonymous billionaire must have had some understanding of The Black Lodge, it’s likely they hail from Twin Peaks. Now sure, Audrey had fallen in love with John Justice Wheeler (who among us could resist a dashing young Billy Zane?) by the end of Season 2, but he also left her behind in Twin Peaks while he flew off to the jungles of Brazil. Besides, we all know that Audrey would do anything for her “special agent,” including finding a way to bring him back home.

Wally Brando is Really Dead (Source:Reddit /u/chblank)

There’s no doubt that Michael Cera’s quirky cameo in Episode 4 was hilarious, but Andy and Lucy’s son is definitely stranger than most of the characters in Twin Peaks. And it’s possible that it’s because he’s not their son at all, but an actor hired to play the role of Wally Brando.

Lynch is careful to show Lucy struggling to adapt to new technology; she can’t figure out the thermostat and she faints at the sight of Sheriff Truman when he appears in the station mere seconds after ending a call with her from his cell phone. Sure, it could be a thinly veiled rib at the fans who can’t let go of the original series, but Lucy’s inability to let go of the past could also be the result of losing her only son as a child.

With Lucy and Andy in denial and shock, Sheriff Truman may have hired an actor to play their son — a role that fake Wally took literally, considering his “The Wild One” getup and bad “Godfather” impersonation. This could also explain why Wally Brando makes a point of telling his parents that they can convert his childhood bedroom into a study, as a way to help them move on and let go of the past. On top of this, it’s also possible that the other Sheriff Truman is also dead, since Wally shows up to “pay his respects” but let’s stick to him being “sick” off-screen as this is enough heartbreak for one post.

The Headless Body in the Librarian’s Apartment Belongs to Major Briggs

(Source:Reddit/u/billy_yllib11)

In Episode 2, we see what lies ominously underneath the bedspread of the missing librarian’s apartment, and it’s a shocker. Although the decapitated head belongs to the dead woman, there is a grotesquely contorted body detached underneath, one that comes from a unknown person. Later, we learn the forensics team has a match on the body, but they need military clearance to unlock its identity. Perhaps the kind of clearance that Major Briggs once had when he was working on top secret projects for the government?

Of course, if the decapitated body does in fact belong to Major Briggs, it would also contextualize the appearance of his disembodied head, which floated in space at the beginning of Episode 3. Finally, while Bobby tells Sheriff Truman and Hawk in Episode 4 that his father died in a fire, just like the Log Lady’s husband. But unlike Bobby, we’re already savvy to what fire really means in the town of Twin Peaks: the smell of scorched engine oil and a deadly intervention by someone from The Black Lodge — specifically Mr. C, who seems to be involved in the set-up of Principal Hastings.

link (TP)

[yesmm123-blog]

consumer store

To enable the purchase and assurance that a customer visits the business again, it is imperative to make 'positive minutes', that is, to offer a substitute experience on the premises, either managing the improvement or with dumbfounding exercises.

 In order to know the most celebrated thing in its stores, the material association C&A has realized in Brazil a plan of digitized holders that are related with Facebook, so the customer can know logically the amount of inclinations a garment has. This is an away from of how retail store displaying is moving towards new game plans.

 Ten years back, the retail exterior was the standard instrument for direct correspondence with the customer. Today, with the introduction of new advances, things have changed, from buyer examples to new openings. So too has the strategy for impelling the client to spend on a specific thing and brand. Thusly, before organizing their business strategy, the head of a little and medium-sized association must perceive what their objective is. "The principle job of any affiliation must be to make magnificent and critical experiences for the buyer and to make them feel uncommon," says Teresa Serra, instructor of advancing at IE Business School.

 The specialist ought to in like manner analyze what thing he sells, to whom and how, to perceive what is its differential edge in the market. "It is imperative to offer included worth, in light of the fact that the customer is furthermore mentioning and the restriction is growing," explains Serra. To the extent it is important for him, Carles Torrecilla, instructor of advancing at Esade, shows that it is in like manner basic to understand the customer's purchasing method and the activity that each thing plays inside the business, whether or not physical or on the web. "It is essential to appreciate if the purchaser goes to a formerly taught store through different channels, for instance, the website and casual networks, or appears at the store to gain an explanation about a thing or brand with the purpose of getting it later on the Internet" , clarifies Torrecilla.

 To ensure that customers are totally content with the things purchased and the thought got, "methodology must be completed in the short and long stretch, which are prepared for offering them positive experiences at all their retail stores," says Agustín Lopez-Quesada, one of the originators of Retail Institute. To do this, the business ought to precisely join the going with segments:

 •             Location. It is the most critical factor in a physical store, as it chooses the customer traffic it needs to pull in. The territory enables the administrator of a SME to design to brand and thing strategies.

 •             Consumer. Any affiliation must consider that the customer is the boss, considering the way that without them the business doesn't work. In like manner, to grasp their necessities well, you ought to acknowledge how to listen to them, come at the circumstance from their point of view and understand what they solicitation and how. The association ought to moreover have a vitality for its customers. "If we don't have pledge to serve them, satisfy them and wish them to return, it is better that we give ourselves to something else," reveals Lopez-Quesada, instructor of publicizing and business the administrators at ESIC.

 •             Loyalty. Having certain nuances with buyers is a positive return for the business. Furthermore, a tolerable experience depends on little nuances, which are what help keep up the client base. These thoughtfulness movements don't should be expensive, yet rather one of a kind and increment the estimation of the image of the store.

 •             The 4Rs: essentialness, relationship, prize and reduction of tries. The buyer must feel that he is seen as a significant segment and that his assumption counts. Along these lines, each business needs to set up long stretch associations. Notwithstanding different things, in light of the fact that 77% of people will by and large reliably shop at a comparative market or bread shop, as showed by the 2013 Consumer Loyalty report, drove by Nielsen. It is also basic to compensate the customer for their trustworthiness to a store or brand. In addition, he should see that the worth quality extent he is paying is adequate and that the imperativeness expended in the purchase system has been legitimate to the level of enthusiasm for the thing purchased. As it were, that you didn't have to remain by long in a line and that you have gotten workplaces to pay.

 •             Marketing mix. Implies the worth, allocation and headway of a thing. Picking adequately which things to sell is basic to making benefits. Its cost is developed according to quality and not too bad assortment. Additionally, the standard edges of the fragment must be thought of. The offer will be assembled in the establishment and in the online store, accepting any, beside on specific occasions: "If a store sells weaved toquillas for progressively settled ladies, it isn't smart to design a site page, since the profile of its customers isn't the of a customer who rides the Internet ", explains the IE Business School teacher. In spite of what may be normal, if what wins is online business, the introduction of the things in the premises doesn't look good. In any case, thinking about the store is critical: the light, the smell, the music (which must be moderate if what you are scanning for is that the customer stays for a long time shopping and the reverse way around), the plan, among various factors. Campaigns are crucial to ensure that the buyer acknowledges what an association sells, where it is found and who contains it.

 •             Experience. You have to outperform customer wants, surprising and offering the best help. Your satisfaction must make certain to such a degree, that I invite you to return and propose your mates. Starting at now, the experience is adjusted by new advances, yet by the five distinguishes. Each store will propel those that best suit its product and adventures. Along these lines, a cake kitchen will reliably have an aroma like bread whether or not it isn't warming for the duration of the day.

 •             New strategy. Today customers buy both in physical stores and on the web. However, in the flitting future, the two thoughts will be mixed, with the objective that the purchaser will have the alternative to see, contact and buy the thing that has as of late been attempted in a store from their wireless, a delegate's tablet or from the site on the found, to be conveyed home wrapped from the assembling plant and not put on by anyone beforehand.

 •             Technology. It has set up itself unequivocally in various associations, changing the way in which it talks with customers. From LED appears, splendid mirrors (like those in Shiseido enhancing operators that show customers what they would take after with your things), to the usage of tablets and mobiles should add to the interrelationship between the store and the buyer. The store empowers the purchase and, in this way, the individual contributes his data to improve thought in future acquisitions. Advancement structures must fulfill two goals: to make any trade progressively engaging and to assist vendors with the objective that they can serve better. For this, the ads must know the level of stock, how and where a thing was made, the last visit of each client and even know the name of each and every one of them. Portion methodologies for the future point to inside arranging systems, for instance, Apple's iBeacon, a mechanical assembly that educates customers with iOS7 contraptions of the closeness of their premises.

 •             Multichannel. Casual associations and site pages help to pull in more customers, yet to get in touch with them even more effectively. "The different channels offer speed and license to get an increasingly critical data on the purchasers, which makes it less difficult for the business to acclimate to their prerequisites", wraps up David Jericó, the worldwide head of Visual Merchandiser at Neinver, the association that manages The Style strip shopping centers. Outlets.

 Give the ham a name

 The essential objective of the association invested noteworthy energy in the commercialization of hams Enrique Tomas is to uncover this thing: "For the most part, this thing was sold in stores that single had one extraordinary and one dreadful. Regardless, there are more than six attributes and, thusly, , different flavors that produce different experiences in the buyer ", affirms its correspondence boss, Xavi Bru. This Catalan firm structures a promoting framework by thing grouping. That is, it endeavors to perceive each ham with a concealing, flavor and smell.

 Another of its inspirations is to deseasonalize its star food and meet the wants for its customers: "An Iberian must not only be eaten on remarkable occasions," says Bru, who explains that his affiliation offers different sorts of cut and vacuum squeezed. to address the issues of people reliably. In its window there are no pig's feet, anyway cornets and sandwiches, since they are dishes that can be eaten in the city.

 Clothing that transmits values

 Describing to a story and transmitting your business culture is the precept of The Indian Face, a material association spoke to extensive expert in high-peril sportswear. For this, managing the enhancement of the physical store is fundamental: "The establishment must catch the brand picture," says its CEO, Eduardo Marquos, who shows that the dividers and floors of the business are stacked with messages about his perspective. . 'Bound to be free' and 'welcome free soul' are some of them. Inside the premises you can in like manner watch high complexity photos that endeavor to reflect the assessment of a contender before going on an encounter. The standard objective of this firm is to move closer to the client, uncovering to

[shielaipm506590-blog]

Mommy's Time Presents.

PRISTINA, Kosovo (AP)-- The Roman Catholic cathedral in Kosovo's funding has been anointed to the saint formerly called Mom Teresa from Calcutta. While the standard payment firms take is actually presently at TWENTY%, the quantity mom agencies get to charge organizations that utilize their versions is actually somewhere in between 5% to 10%. On getting here, police noted blemishing to Evie's face and also had the mama as well as daughter to medical center. He attempted to counterbalance my mother by utilizing kind, encouraging phrases to me constantly, although he could never ever resist her. It is likewise a simple fact that smiles aids to rest the muscle on the face consequently producing the individual look fresh and gorgeous. You could not have been defeated, however you were http://piekno-poradnik2016.pl easily delegated survive bodily discomfort when an ordinary mama would certainly have made an attempt to alleviate your suffering. When my mom obtained a cars and truck coming from a local area dealer, they possessed a flowering vegetation delivered to her property as a Thank You for shopping in your area.

Even when your mommy has never made use of a personal computer before she might cherish being able to secure every manual she ever before owned on one slim pad. The label from the movie was decided to counter American author Katherine Mayonnaise's 1927 belligerent manual Mother India, which vilified Indian lifestyle.

Rather than awaiting the youngster to provide signals, the mommy recognizes how to prepare for the activity and also to prep the kid for that. You could have taken into consideration breastfeeding photography yet wondered how the images will happen across if you are a mom that is presently nursing a child.

There will be actually times that you locate on your own quick-tempered or furious along with your mama. Vacuum any regions that the kitten has actually can be found in contact with, and also manage other kittens (or the mommy if found and carrying bugs). There's no strict rule that points out the mom of the bride-to-be must wear an outfit! The eyes open after 2 months and also at 3 months the cubs will certainly start to observe the mom on brief forages. This write-up has many beneficial recommendations on horticulture that will certainly aid you get the wonderful yard of your desires. On a mother's day occasion in the month of May, there is a possibility that you may have gotten miserable due to certainly not having the ability to discover a really good present for your mom in Karachi. You don't must be actually the opposite from a pleasant fella - you just must stay clear of doing the things that many men generally carry out when satisfying a brand new lady. For days, my mommy went off physician to doctor wishing that somebody understood how you can quit that. That was one more error, Jack had not been supposed to become checking out TV anyways, yet his mama had evidently failed to remember, as well as was a very forgiving individual.

[jeweledmonstera]

Rough day at the office!

Carlin brought Teresa of all people back here and they ran through the office with burgers! I could hear them chatting on the back patio with their mouths full. It was so disgusting I nearly threw up!

Luckily Mary Lou was there for me. She made me a ginger tea and told me "Pay them no mind." The ginger tea really helped. Then she gave me a long list of clients and told me to schedule follow-up appointments.

I set up a white noise machine and got out my noise-cancelling headset. The rest of my day has been all work and no burger talk.

[jeweledmonstera]

Ugh I just got word that Teresa is over, playing checkers with Carlin.

[jeweledmonstera]

I picked up my suit this morning. Marcy was at school and Carlin was at work so I took the MAX and it wasn't bad!

The important thing is that my suit fits great. The blue goes very well with my indigo hair. I practiced some power poses in the mirror.

What's more important, to me, is that I saw Caitlin again. She complimented my fish shirt! We discussed the salmon's life cycle until we got so rudely interrupted by her manager. Now she has to fold towels. :|

The Full Moon meeting is tonight. Teresa asked to join us this evening. Absolutely not!

[jeweledmonstera]

Finally got a picture of the llama keychain.

[jeweledmonstera]

Hmm. There's a van outside. Teresa's over?

[jeweledmonstera]

could we get some more info on the llama keychain?

Idk it was a reddish brown llama keychain. I'll try to get a picture next time I see it.

[jeweledmonstera]

I went over to CVS to pick up a percolator, and who do I see but Teresa, the vacuum lady, looking at red hair dye! If she thinks she's moving in with us and taking the Rojo room, she's out of her mind!!! Absolutely not!!!

[jeweledmonstera]

The April Full Moon meeting went surprisingly well. No Teresa the vacuum lady.

We ate carrot soup and zucchini bread, which was way better than last year's zucchini soup and carrot bread.

We started with some announcements: the need for hair dye, Qualia's upcoming retreat, Beth's progress in therapy, Amelia's return to her macrame circle, Marcy's apology and our forgiveness, spring cleaning and some other things.

Willow and Amelia may start dating soon. Hooray!Kaya and Carlin might also. Nooo!

The budget looks fine, even after we get the deck and hot tub repaired and finally a new dishwasher. Tesssa's new job has brought in enough to raise our budget. With that, we are going to purchase higher quality cat food. Cheers all around!

Everyone congratulated me for the interview. I got sweaty. We decided to wrap up the meeting.

We set the last of the wicker rabbits on fire tonight and gave it a viking funeral in the bathtub. Unfortunately the fire alarm went off and it was hard to reach it to turn it off. We used two brooms!