#tempted to just send it like this i don’t think ross would care but also. i feel like i should probably do more.

[gaylotusthatexists]

another sunday night for me to spend crying over an assignment that i put off all week i really gotta stop doing this

[katnissmellarkkk]

Okayyyy here comes the next chapter ! Number .... lemme look. Okay, number six! 🥳🥳🥳

And yes, my thoughts as usual will be a messy, very Everlark-biased and full of typos. Letsss gooooo 🥰🥰🥰

Is this the first time Katniss and Peeta have been to their floor or is this just the most opportune time to explain and introduce the Tribute Center living quarters?

Also why are they called tributes anyway? That word suddenly seems weird to me after nine years... 🤔🤔🤔

“I've ridden the elevator a couple of times in the Justice Building back in District 12. Once to receive the medal for my father's death and then yesterday to say my final goodbyes to my friends and family” .... 😶😶 so only good memories and connotations to elevators then, huh?

“The walls of this elevator are made of crystal so that you can watch the people on the ground floor shrink to ants as you shoot up into the air.” My mind is just imagining the elevator in Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone’s Spider-Man movies 🤗.

“It's exhilarating and I'm tempted to ask Effie Trinket if we can ride it again, but somehow that seems childish” this is so cute and innocent omg. Katniss, like I said in my last chapter blog, still has some childlike innocence left in her 🥺🥺🥺. I’m a sad.

Also excuse the unnecessary extra gif use but 🤭🤭🤭

Oh wow, so Haymitch hasn’t been around since they were on the train? No wonder neither Katniss nor Peeta fled they could trust him for basically the entirety of the first book. 😐😐😐

You know it’s bad when Effie being around feels like a blessing to Katniss. Girl has more restraint than me, I’d have ripped off this woman’s janky wig by now without remorse. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Effie acts like they’re her purebred show dogs. I know I know how is this news, that’s a blatant fact. The movies really softened her up tho for the general audience. And I bleed the movies and books together more than I should 😔😔😔

Well at least she’s made herself useful, trying to get Everlark sponsors ... even if it’s ultimately to benefit herself above anyone else .... 😤

Effie calling Twelve barbaric while she’s preparing them for the slaughter isn’t even ironic it’s like literally just brainless. Johanna probably had the nickname floating around for a lot of people before she officially knighted Katniss with it 😭

“Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district.” Is this how they refer to Twelve? So basically if a district makes a better item, it’s a more worthy one in the Capitol’s eyes? So essentially, if District Eight made like diamonds or pearls or whatever then it would be more worthy? So are the districts assigned their numbers (one, two, three, four, etc) based on their order of importance to the Capitol’s lifestyle? I always thought it was based on their distance in relation to the Capitol? Okay so I didn’t really pay much attention to these facts previously when I read these books ok look away I’m an idiot

Omg 😭😭😭😭 Effie is such an idiot. But the coal turns to pearls thing is my favorite line from her only because it serves as the cutest inside joke when Peeta makes a callback to it in Catching Fire and Finnick is just like “why are these two teenagers so stupid who did I ally with? 🥵😳🥵😳🥵”

“I wonder if the people she's been plugging us to all day either know or care.” After reading Songbirds and Snakes, I’m sure they don’t have a clue, boo. 😑😑😑😑 although not everyone was an idiot back then ... maybe Snow is putting lead in the drinking water?

“But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary.” I know she’s trying to help and I know we say this kind of thing today, but considering this is two kids she’s well aware will be heading into a death match this is just bad wording I know surprise surprise 🙄🙄🙄😬😬😬😬

“Although lacking in many departments, Effie Trinket has a certain determination I have to admire.” Katniss really does see the best in people. What’s sad, y’all, is I think Katniss unconsciously really tries to like people and that’s why she has her guard up so high. Because the softer you are, the easier people will step all over you. Terrible phrasing here, Samantha, I’m so sorry to any of my readers ... okay now that sounded arrogant, implying I have readers 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅

“My quarters are larger than our entire house back home.” Omg? I mean, yes, I knew this already obviously no duh but like also. Just the fact that three people live in a space smaller than a bedroom and bathroom arena is saddy sad sad. Also do they have indoor plumbing in the Seam or is their backyards just full of—okay, I’ll see myself out. 😶🤭😅🙃

“The shower alone has a panel with more than a hundred options you can choose regulating water temperature, pressure, soaps, shampoos, scents, oils, and massaging sponges.” I’m just imagining a Spongebob scene ngl.

I’m sorry there’s so many gifs this time around it’s probably taking us out of the reading headspace I’ll never do it again 😩😩😩😩 I talk like I have a class of people listening to me 🤭🤭🤭

“Instead of struggling with the knots in my wet hair, I merely place my hand on a box that sends a current through my scalp, untangling, parting, and drying my hair almost instantly” I need this someone invent this NOW my brush is yanking out my hair 😔😩

“I program the closet for an outfit to my taste.” ‘Yes, Alexa, I’d like a hunting jacket, some boots and a green shirt. Yes, it can be brown.’

“You need only whisper a type of food from a gigantic menu into a mouthpiece and it appears, hot and steamy, before you in less than a minute.” I like this idea because it means that Peeta could order hot choccy to comfort Katniss after her nightmares in Catching Fire from the comfort of her their own bed. 🤗🤗🤗 also I want this for myself. The bad people are giving my greedy self ideas look away everyone 😬

“I walk around the room eating goose liver and puffy bread until there's a knock on the door.” 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Of everything you could have chosen, child, this is what you decided on? Someone help my girl and her rotten tastebuds now.

“Effie's calling me to dinner. Good. I'm starving.” Baby, you were just eating. She’s so nutritionally messed up. 😔😔😔

Katniss trying wine 🥳🥳🥳 she’s so funny, trying to find a way to improve the taste 😅. She’ll make a good taste tester for her baker husband one day.

Hahahaha Katniss not liking the feeling and judging Haymitch for always being tipsy. Also this is sad because she ends up addicted to morphling later one which is far worse than a little wine.

I’m glad to know Baked Alaska survived the apocalypse 😅🥳

Katniss just constantly trying to decipher the recipe of every meal and how to recreate it reads cute on a surface level but it’s actually so tragic because everything to this girl is based around food. Like even more than is typically noticed. They really should have given a hint at this in the first movie. Good thing she marries a man who can always keep her full.

I’m just forever side-eyeing you, Gare Bear.

That’s Gary Ross for the confused kids in the back.

Why does Katniss yelling mid-sentence, “oh! I know you!” add to her innocence? 🥺 it’s because she was overwhelmed by all the food and new luxuries she’d never even been able to imagine ... and also this is pre her first games so she’s still got some childhood left in her 😩😔

I wonder how Lavinia felt seeing Katniss volunteer and knowing she’d be her Avox? I wonder if she, like Cinna, somehow volunteered to be her Avox?

I mean ... talk about convenient placement that this specific girl was assigned to Katniss’ district—oh wait, y’all, I just caught myself. She’s from Twelve. She was assigned to Twelve’s tributes because she’s from there, duh. I’m such an airhead omg just call me Effie.

Don’t you actually dare.

“When I look back, the four adults are watching me like hawks.” Meanwhile, Peeta is just like 😬😬😬 eating his dinner.

Actually, ngl, this could be such a reach and it probably is but like maybe Peeta sensed a confrontation coming and, because of his implied upbringing, he naturally becomes silent or makes himself invisible when trouble starts looking like it’s gonna arise. 🥺🥺🥺 I don’t know why I say these things I’m just hurting my own feelings but ya know the drill. I thought it so I said it.

Why is Effie yelling at Katniss for saying she knows the Avox girl like omg overreaction much? And I know, the sky is blue 🙄🙄🙄 she’s prejudiced against basically everyone, I know, I know

Rip her wig off, Katty Deen 🤗🤗🤗

Oh I stupidly forgot that Avoxes are supposedly known by everyone to be traitors or criminals. So I suppose this isn’t Effie’s worst offense but I’m keeping a tally anyways

Katniss is blaming her stuttering on the wine but my girl just has social anxiety 😔😔😔

Peeta coming in with a save 😭😭😭 he’s already trying saving his girl 🤧

Alsoooo the unspoken friendship, the covering for the other and teaming up against the adults, is still riding high and going strong here 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 look away, y’all, the shipper comments are coming in strong

Also why is this the first real interaction with Peeta in this chapter yet? My baby needs more page-time 🤭🤭🤭

“Delly Cartwright is a pasty-faced, lumpy girl with yellowish hair who looks about as much like our server as a beetle does a butterfly.” Now why did Katniss just tear Delly to shreds for no reason at all 😭😭😭 this was a surprise assault on the poor girl 🙃🙃🙃🙃

“She may also be the friendliest person on the planet - she smiles constantly at everybody in school, even me.” Okay not to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... but to tie absolutely everything back to Peeta ... this description of poor, sweet Delly is actually indicative of Peeta’s character? Since Delly, we find out in Mockingjay, is Peeta’s childhood best friend, her personality being this sunny, kind, good-natured person tells us Peeta has always probably been somewhat like her and perhaps not as much like the other town kids Katniss implies to be stuck up or snooty. Maybe Katniss is just shady and deflects onto others 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️.

Also the fact that she gives this like ... mean description of Delly but saw Peeta as popular, even though surely Delly and Peeta spent time at school together, implies further that Katniss did indeed harbor a secret crush on Peeta even before the reaping. A very mild comparison of his on her though, of course 😅😅😅

“It must be the hair” “something about the eyes too” their piggybacking on the other’s comments really is just chiefs kiss 😘🤗🥰🤧 FYI I know the saying is chefs kiss but I made the typo once a long time ago and decided to add it forever to my brand 🤗🙃🥳

Also though this Everlark interaction is reminiscent of when two kids get caught by their teacher goofing off in class and covering for each other 🥰 only it’s a lot more deadly stakes

“A few of the other couples make a nice impression, but none of them can hold a candle to us.” She’s so modest 🤧🤧🤧 her narration here and during the Tribute Parade just has the vibes of ... well .... sorry in advance

Haymitch’s comment “Just the perfect touch of rebellion. Very nice” leads me to think he and Cinna and maybe Portia were always in cahoots about the rebellion even before Katniss and Peeta came along and well ... lit their match on fire 🥁🤗🤣🤭

Katniss is like “rebellion??? Rebellion where??? What’s that you old people speak of???” And yet, girlfriend goes out to the woods and hunts illegally every day of her life 🤣🤣🤣🤣.

“But when I remember the other couples, standing stiffly apart, never touching or acknowledging each other, as if their fellow tribute did not exist” too lazy too look it up but there’s a quote from Ballad about Lucy Gray and Jessup being distinguished by their visible friendship too that set them apart from the other tributes.

Either Suzanne thought of drawing a nice parallel showing what a failed Everlark attempt looks like, because I firmly stand by the fact that without their real feelings behind their act, even Katniss’ unconscious ones, they wouldn’t have pulled it off, or Suzzie just reused her own content. I prefer the former but I think it’s probably the latter 🤭🤭🤭

“Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk." I know Haymitch is being facetious here but this quote reminded me of the fact that the movies would have hit differently if they’d cast actual sixteen year olds in the roles.

“When we get to my door, he leans against the frame, not blocking my entrance exactly but insisting I pay attention to him.” This is such a flirty, high school boy pose, you cannot convince me otherwise 😭😭😭

Also I definitely feel like Peeta is getting more and more confident here because he’s oblivious to Katniss’ inner monologue as much as she is his actually we all are his sadly and he probably thinks she’s starting to like him 🤧🤧🤧

“So, Delly Cartwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here." 🤣 He honestly cracks me up idk why this line isn’t even special or that great. He’s just so ... subtly nosy / funny. Which brings me to that quote from Mockingjay where Katniss talks about his sense of humor because it’s one of the things she loves most about him 😭😭😭

But he’s like, “I can keep a secret, Katniss, tell me who that tongueless chick is to you 😬”

Katniss stop talking about debts, friends cover for the other all the time 🙄🙄 I know it’s in her character stop yelling at a fish for swimming that’s not a real phrase I know that too

Okay first of all, they’re about to share a secret 🥰🥰🥰🥰. My shipper goggles are on tight and obstructing my vision. I know this and am proud 😬🥳🤗

And secondly, “Maybe sharing a confidence will actually make him believe I see him as a friend.” Hey, butthead, you two are already friends. She doesn’t even recognize that the girl who constantly sits with her, talks to her, eats with her and trades with her is her friend either though, I’m shocked she calls Gale her friend

Does Peeta get to know Cinna too? I don’t think so but it’s mentioned now a couple times in this chapter alone that Peeta has interacted with Cinna. Katniss never interacts or has a conversation with Portia.... then again, is that even surprising? Katniss isn’t ... what you would call ... social. Hashtag relatable.

Awww, they’re communicating so effectively together 🥰😭🤧🥳

Also rooftops belong to Everlark only 😍😊😉 I mean, seriously, Katniss never goes up on a rooftop with anyone else. Besides Haymitch in the first movie but we ignore.

“Electricity in District 12 comes and goes, usually we only have it a few hours a day.” Earlier she said the Seam didn’t often have electricity, in particular, so either she’s not specifying her section of the district anymore or Suzanne is backtracking.

“But here there would be no shortage. Ever.” I’ve had two power outages recently so clearly the Capitol isn’t based on us currently today then 😐😐 I’m just joking ok

“I asked Cinna why they let us up here. Weren't they worried that some of the tributes might decide to jump right over the side?” .... boyfriend, where does your mind go sometimes? Peeta’s darker than we realize, y’all 🤭🤭🙃🙃

“He holds out his hand into seemingly empty space. There's a sharp zap and he jerks it back” between this and Catching Fire, Peeta is addicted to getting shocked by forcefields 🤧🤧🤧

“I wonder if we're supposed to be up here now, so late and alone.” If this was a romantic drama or comedy, that line would have meant something a lot more fun 😒😔😬����😏

“On the other side of the dome, they've built a garden with flower beds and potted trees.” Is this meant to resemble Snow’s grandmother’s garden???? Like he had them put a garden there to like ... put a piece of his Grandma’am in the games? Idk this made zero sense it was a stupid thought

Two people in a garden at night, with wind chimes, sounds romantic in any other context. 🥺🥺

Ummm does everyone in the entire district know Katniss and her father used to hunt together?

Oh nevermind, Lavinia is not from District Twelve. My bad, guys. I should go up and edit my previous thoughts but that’s a lot of work. 😅😅😅

Katniss, stop being so hard on yourself. You and Gale were kids. 😣😣

Ummm, Katniss for a girl always complimenting Peeta’s storyteller, you’re pretty good at painting a picture yourself...

Peeta noticing she’s shivering 🥰🥺

He gives her ... his jacket 😭😭😭😭 such a romantic troupe Samantha, get over it there’s literally children dying

Oh wow, Lavinia was from the Capitol originally. Hmm, it is sus now that she got District Twelve this particular year.

But also 🤧🤧🤧 “he secures a button at my neck.”

His hands .... are .... often .... at her .... neck .... 😶😬 .... look away, y’all

Oh wow, Katniss is over here thinking, “who’d leave the Capitol if they were from here???” And Peeta’s like instantly, loudly, without hesitating, “well I would 🙋🏼‍♂️”

Hot take, y’all ready? Peeta was a bigger rebel than Katniss from the start. At least internally.

Awww, Peeta is so jealous 😭😭😭😭 and kind of nosy 🤭🤭🤭

Katniss : “me and Gale are not related” Peeta : “😬🙃😭😩😶”

“I'd set out to tell her I was sorry about dinner. [...] my apology runs much deeper. [...] I let the Capitol kill the boy and mutilate her without lifting a finger. Just like I was watching the Games.” I feel like this is actually a good comparison though, because of you grew up in a society where you have to watch kids die, your whole entire life you’ve watched it in a glorified television show, you would be really desensitized to it...

“You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope.” Here she’s talking about Lavinia but it applies to Peeta too. Katniss was Lavinia’s last hope and she feels like she let her down but Peeta was her last hope once and he came through. And, as she said in chapter one, she’ll never forget him for it. And for other things too. Later on. 😏

Of course my last bullet point was focused on Everlark 🤣 is anyone surprised you shouldn’t be we all knew who this post was written by right? 😅

And once again, if too made through this marathon, congratulations 🥳🥳🥳🥳 maybe next chapter I’ll talk less not likely though so don’t count on it 😅

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Aftermath)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is about 17 or 18; i cried while writing this. sorry this is really long!!! pls forgive me 🥺

prompt: takes place from a3 to smffh

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) Continued (5)

let’s start on a happy note! ahahah

so for a while, earth was calm

you, pepper, and tony got to be a family for a while

wedding planning!

of course you got to try the ben&jerry’s ice cream named after your dad: Stark Raving Hazelnuts

“it’s not fair that you got ice cream named after you and i didn’t”

“well, when you grow up to be as awesome as me, maybe you’ll get your own ice cream flavor”

developing nanotech suits together for a Bonding Experience(tm)

speechless after the first test

“dad, this is...”

“the coolest thing to ever exist?”

“yes!!”

yall ready for some shit?

the day that ebony maw invaded was pretty—what’s the word? interesting? no. well, yes, but...HORRIBLE.

it all started when you got the call from your dad

“y/n, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“god, i really have to change that. okay, JOSHIE, answer it. hey, dad? what’s up?”

“hey, kid! you know that weird ass building on bleecker street? how fast can you get here?”

“JOSH can you track FRIDAY really quick? lets see how far dad is...uh, okay, be there in five, see ya”

taking your suit for a spin and realizing how GREAT it was to be able to basically fold up your suit and put it in your back pocket

knocking on the door and it opened on its own, it was kinda cool

“is this a museum? cool.”

bruce turning around to see you after about three years and giving you an awkward smile and a wave while you stood frozen around the wizard-guys

“y/n, god, you’ve grown up!”

charging into him for a long overdue hug

“you don’t know how much i missed you. it’s been chaotic without you”

“i can...i can only imagine”

a debriefing on the situation you were about to face, and bonus! having to play the catch-up game with bruce

“just call him, dad. we need as much help as we can. steve will understand”

rushing outside to face off with some ugly-ass aliens

“oh nooo, it’s roger smith from american dad”

bruce: 👀, stephen: 👀, wong: 👀, tony: 👏👏🥰 that’s my girl

simultaneous nanosuit unveiling

“you ready for this one, pops?”

“of course! ive waited years to kick some more alien ass”

montage of you and tony getting your asses beat together (as a family <3)

peter showing up

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t send you back to that school bus”

“because i’m good company?”

“whatever, just listen to whatever dad has to say, i forfeit my responsibilities over you”

pew pew, repulsors, pew, tiny rockets! fun! action! destroying new york again and again. good times...

until JOSHUA gave you notice that your dad was flying high

“call him. now.”

“hey! how’s it going down there?”

“dad, you know how i feel about you and space”

“i know, i know. i just...i gotta take care of this. keep pepper safe for your old man, okay?”

“i lo—l—ve y—”

“y/n? y/n?! i love you! shit!”

“we lost connection with her, sir”

trying to call peter

“call failed, y/n. should i try again?”

“i’m gonna kill them...”

walking through the rubble to find bruce, the only sensible man you know

taking him to the avengers compound asap to get to rhodey and figure out what comes next

meanwhile, tony was dealing with space and another teenager

and worrying a lot about leaving you on earth

“i mean, mr. stark, y/n’s one of the most capable people i know. she’s probably trying to fix this whole mess as we speak”

“i didn’t get to tell her i love her”

“oh...”

having a lovely meeting with thaddeus ross with rhodey, having a lovely time watching them passive-aggresively argue until your former teammates arrived

having to patiently (and professionally) wait for ross to hang up before running into them for a hug

“holy shit, you guys have no idea how bad i’ve wanted to see you. it sucks not being all together anymore”

“i know, y/n. we’ve all missed you.” -cap

“a lot” -nat added

bruce’s little entrance that was sure to bring some awkwardness

you, secretly freaking out about your dad

sam was the one that found you crying after you “stepped out” for a few minutes too long

“oh, y/n,” he was contemplating grabbing someone else to step in, but decided to sit next to you in the hallway, “i’m sorry, kiddo. i can’t promise you anything, but your dad is a fighter. a big pain in the ass. i think your odds are good”

laughing through your tears

“yeah, you’re right. thanks, sammy”

he gave you a little hug while you calmed down

getting to business, the ass-kicking kind

as the wise natasha romanoff once said to your father, you were being “uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal”

your mind did this funny thing...wandered into places it really should not go

the talk about sacrificing vision led to wakanda, where you had a swell time patrolling

“guys! we’ve got incoming. a lot of incoming”

well-deserved uncle/niece team up. who wouldve thought?

you would have nightmares about these aliens for years to come

“you get to die, and you get to die! everybody gets to die!”

“y/n, what did we talk about?” -rhodey

“using humor as a defense mechanism makes the team uncomfortable...”

covering the girls 😌 because we gotta have those all-girl teamups, uh-huh?

some more blasting

thor made his comeback and you just could not miss it

“hi, thor!”

you landed next to him and your helmet receded

“well, hello, miss y/n! good to see you again! my, you got taller...oh! meet my friends: rabbit and tree”

having a “what the actual fuck” moment upon seeing thanos for the first time

and flying at him from behind with a massive nanotech blade ready to kill this purple bastard

but he grabbed your arm and flung you into the dirt, that was gonna leave a mark

“i just had to make a suit when i was ten...no one stopped me, huh? i couldn’t be elon’s kid, he was a nice guy”

watching thanos snap his fingers and looking around to see dust floating through the air and thanos retreat

“rhodey? uncle rhodey?!”

“i’m right here, kid, don’t worry”

he grabbed your hand while you were dusting

“tell my dad i love him, promise?”

fading away and leaving rhodey with your last words

he was mad before anything else

all he could think about was a promise your dad made him take years back

“rhodey, you keep my daughter safe no matter what, promise?”

the avengers recooperating at the compound, waiting to figure out whether any of the space-crew survived

they had to let pepper know that you didn’t make it, she was a mess upon hearing that news

tony finally making his way back to earth

and stumbling out of that ship

“where’s y/n? where is she?!”

“tony, tony, calm down”

“dont tell me to calm down! where is my daughter?!”

“she made me promise to tell you thay she loves you”

tony knew the answer by now, he lost his mind over your death

it didn’t feel right not having you by his side, for the past 18 years you’ve been with him

after a long period of recovery, tony and pepper moved on, got married, built a home, had a new daughter...

tony made sure there was a spare room for you

he put all the things you left behind in it

there were so many photos of you in the house

and he’d show your sister, morgan, all of them. he wanted morgan to know her sister

“that’s y/n when she built her first robot. it snuck up on me a few times. it went ‘boo!’”

morgan loved the stories about you, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see you

“when do i get to meet her?”

“uh...maybe someday, sweetie”

after being unbothered for almost 5 years, the remaining avengers came back with a plan that was so tempting, he just wanted his little girl back

cracking under pressure and telling pepper that he couldn’t ignore this mission because it was his chance to get you back

“get her back, tony”

“you think so?”

“i miss her, too.”

and so it began, he made it his mission to get you back

peeking at the wallet picture of you on his shoulders when you were so little

tony travelling to 2012; loki’s invasion

and there you were, the sassy genius 12 year old that he missed so much

“we’ve got this, tony, we’ll bring her home” -scott

and then things went badly and also 2012 tony went into cardiac arrest and 2012 y/n dove onto the floor to tend to him

“dad? give us some room, would you?!”

2023 tony smiling at how much he missed you worrying about him and how reckless he was

but also...the mission kinda went bad so that sucked

push it a bit farther back and now tony was with grandpa stark! asking how to be a dad and all that!

he could barely stand still waiting for you to come back to him, god he missed you more than he thought

and after a bit of hard work, it was time to snap

just like that, you were back in wakanda, puzzled by the gap in time before one of dr. strange’s portals opened in front of you

and then you were in the ruins of the avengers compound

“JOSHUA, can you locate my dad?”

“i think you’ll be able to see him”

“wow, i cant believe i programmed your cocky artificial ass”

“i think you can”

seeing your dad flying high and patching into the comms

“miss me, old man?”

and then he hit the gas to get to you and when this man hugged you, you almost couldn’t let go

“i’m so sorry, y/n. god, i’m sorry. these last five years...i was so lost without you”

“it’s okay, dad, i’m here now”

getting shot at during your reunion

“son of a bitch...we’re having a family moment here, asshole!”

yes, im gonna say it again. of course i am! and.........father/daugher team-up

the last one

“peter, is that you? you asshole! i cant believe you went to space without me!”

“missed you too!”

rhodey!! cant forget about uncle rhodey!!

“you gave my dad the message, right?”

“it was your dying wish, of course i did!”

“great. don’t forget i love you, too, rhodey!”

“couldn’t let me forget it”

lest we forget that pepper joined the fight?

plot twist: (step)mother/daughter team-up

mother/father/daugher team up!!!! ultimate stark machine!!!!!!!

and then you left him alone for 5 minutes and he’s got the infinity stones and you know it’s the last time you’re going to see him and you cant decide what your next move is and you’re just frozen and you cant catch your breath and he snaps and your heart plummets

you have to rush to his side, the last time you can sit beside his tired body and let him know that its going to be okay

“hey dad, it’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. thank you for everything”

peter grabbing your hand as you both sobbed next to your dad, feeling robbed of your time with him

pepper brought you home where she told you all about the five years you missed

both of you just cried harder than you’ve ever cried before

“so i have a sister?”

morgan was so happy to meet you, she couldn’t contain herself, practically latched onto you

and she didn’t fully understand what happened to tony

you saw your new room for the first time and didn’t leave it for a while, occasionally pepper or morgan would pop in

morgan actually crawled into bed with you a few times

the funeral was one of the worst days of your life

the remnants of your young life pulled back together for one day

then you hid back in your room before you heard a knock

“who is it?”

“it’s happy”

“come in”

“hey, kiddo. me and morgan are gonna get some cheeseburgers, you wanna come?”

she really was a stark

after a long hibernation, you started to get back into the groove of your old life

but the press was brutal and harsh, you were bombarded with questions regarding your dad

it took everything not to explode on camera

you stayed in contact with the rest of the avengers, mourning your dead, keeping the support system, staying a family

it was all you could get...for now

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 44

On December 15th, construction officially, finally, began on Stark Tower, and you were more than happy to give the eager press a few more sound clips to pad their papers with the next morning. It had been a hop and a skip over to the site from the penthouse where you and Tony were still anniversary-ing it seemed. But Pepper was on top of things back in California, and SHIELD could wait because you needed time to yourself for once. It would have been nice to keep it that way.

So it was extremely unfortunate that only twelve days later a news story broke over every single one of your devices in that room that the Roxxon Norco tanker had spilled millions of gallons of crude oil off the coast of Pensacola.

Even more unfortunate that your newly elected President Ellis seemed to care very little about punishing the people who were responsible for it. Several calls to him went unreturned. So several more got put out into the sphere that Stark Industries was working on a solution-

At least until Tony took the phone out of your hand late the next night and gave you a look that broke your heart for one reason or another.

“We’re not responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world, you know.”

“We’re not.” You knew why he was trying to impart this to you. Not working for this long had perhaps driven you just a touch cabin crazy, in mostly all good ways. But now the earth had a problem. And… “But we can help. We have the means.” Which meant you couldn’t turn your back on it.

That seemed to be just enough for him. Either that, or your resolve. “Alright. I’ll get to work on something.”

While the boys down in California probably could have come up with something to clean this up on their own, you realized you doing this yourself was putting Tony in the position of having to help. Or that must have been what he felt like. It made you feel terrible. But… it was also good to have him on board. “Thank you.” Reaching up to wrap your arms around him and press an all too brief kiss to his lips.

“Vacation’s over, huh?” Mumbled half into it so he wouldn’t have to stop kissing you to get it out.

“We’ll have another one again soon.” You lied.

                                -----------------------------------------

Your lying continued into the new year, where you and Tony shared a celebratory glass of champagne at the office. Not the most ideal setting, but one that worked for the both of you. He’d taken a meeting with investors and you’d somehow become the new face of a cleaner earth movement. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world but it put a lot more on your plate to deal with. The only sensible thing to do was to leverage the moment for good press with Stark Tower also running on clean energy.

But that put you all over the map. Meetings with politicians and environmental groups and foreign ambassadors looking towards Stark Industries for the lead on how to save the planet. This was at least a more sensible superhero-ing that you could deal with. And things on that other front seemed quiet. Suspiciously so. But being as busy as you were, you let it go.

He met up with you in a quaint little hotel room in Brussels for Valentine’s Day. While the both of you couldn’t yet promise an extended stay somewhere together, you tried to make room for the little moments. He showed up in a fetching suit with a bouquet of flowers- and you may have had an evening planned to go out. But once he was there, it was over. You got lost in his embrace and found yourself pining by the time he left the next morning.

His birthday became another pinpoint on your calendar, and you wondered why it was always the marker your life revolved around. But for this year he said he wanted something quiet, so you invited the only people that seemed to matter. Rhodey, of course, eagerly put aside time to sit down with the two of you at some restaurant bought out for the evening. And Happy was just as happy to be invited and thought of. Even though Tony could very much look after himself, you thanked him on the side for keeping an eye on him while you were away so often. A thought kept between the two of you.

It was almost too nice to be reminded of what a normal night looked like. An evening with friends, good drinks, good food, and more laughter than you’d had in a while. This year was flashing by and you barely had time to even think about how much it bothered you that you were losing such large swaths to meetings and emails and talks and phone calls and plane rides and speeches and pitches and…

The small briefing you had at SHIELD in the middle of it June further signaled your attention that they were actively including you in their smaller dealings. However, the table you were sitting at was full of faces you didn’t recognize. And the piece of information that you really cared about…

“General Ross has suffered a heart attack. He’s scheduled for surgery today. This down time is crucial for some movement.”

That monster, you assumed. Emil Blonsky. You didn’t know if they wanted it gone or wanted it brought to them. While you agreed with them that it was better put in a place where you could control the means of its possible escape- and definitely the possible means of it being weaponized, you weren’t equipped to go out and get it. Then why put you in the room to hear that news…?

You’d never know.

But when you came home that night to tell Tony, his response was just as callous. “Should I bring it up in the interview? Send my well wishes?”

The two of you had a joint interview at WhiH on the 30th. And while they were putting out headlines daily that really hurt the company, your image, his image, you decided it would be better to go and confront the empire Christine Everhart thought she was building by spewing out garbage every day to an ever growing rabid fanbase. Left unchecked, things like that could become dangerous…

In early July you saw yourself back in New York City to check on the Tower, and to set up a press briefing in the coming days to talk about how far along the construction was. Everything had been moving according to plan, which was very excellent news. You hadn’t had much time to watch over anyone’s shoulder- and even if you had, construction itself wasn’t really your forte. The workers seemed to be carrying out your and Tony’s vision well enough, and the estimation came back that it was about 40% complete.

Which is exactly what you told reporters the coming morning. That and that things were still on track to have the Stark Tower completed in early May of 2012. You used the platform to again talk about the importance of clean energy, and sung the praises of the large amount of work that was going into laying pipes and wires to power the building once it was finished. Everything due to Tony’s genius reworking of his father’s old tech, of course. None of this could have been done without him.

“Where is Mr. Stark now?”

But when posed with this question… you just had to let them know he was hard at work. Just not at that exact thing. No, instead, he’d taken back his Mark II armor from Rhodey some time ago so that he could build him a proper suit.

War Machine the military was calling it, and you put in your very loud objections about that.

“I don’t like this. I don’t want Stark rebranded as giving the military weapons again. This is bad for optics.”

“Hey, I don’t like it anymore than you do, but at least we know it’s me piloting the thing. You know you can trust me to make the right calls.”

You had to. And you did. Rhodey was definitely the man meant to wear that suit (and of course the only one capable of doing so. Tony had double and triple checked that). Even though he would be given orders to carry out missions inside of it, you knew you could trust his judgment if something seemed wrong. It was about the only thing you had to rely on. So… you did.

It was only around September that things finally started to cool down. You’d have to be back in New York in another month to see to the closing of the Expo and maybe start plans to host another one the coming year, but that was something for a later date. Instead, you relished in the change of waking up in your own home, next to your very warm and welcoming boyfriend who was just as eager to have some time alone.

He had seemed to be chugging along with the progress of the Mark VII, an Iron Man suit that hosted some sort of tracking device- able to be loaded up in any situation. Even dangerous ones. When posed the question of, “Why don’t you just do one like mine?”

Tony, of course, had an answer at the ready. “Because that’s yours. And, no offense, but the capabilities of mine are far more powerful. One day we’ll up the specs on yours. But I think it’s good for now. ...unless you want more?”

“No. It’s fine the way it is.”

You didn’t want to throw him immediately back into work. And you hadn’t gotten much, if any, use out of it anyway. You preferred it that way, too, in fact. But it was that exact thinking that may have tempted fate. Such was your life.

Getting called to another SHIELD briefing had become almost sort of standard. It fell in line with some of your other training sessions, all of which were… mildly progressing. You still felt stronger with Natasha’s guidance than you did with Coulson’s. No matter how hard you worked on the thing you just seemed to be stuck. Putting too much pressure on yourself, perhaps.

Immediately you realized something was up when there were no other agents present in the room. Even early, there were usually one or two before you. And the meeting head. Sometimes it was Fury, and the two of you had come to a mutual understanding of basically ignoring each other. It worked better that way. He’d be in the room, talk to everyone, and you’d keep your head down for the most part.

But today was different. Today no one was in the room. And you sensed something was very amiss. There was something in the air. Something that made you very nervous.

It was that thought alone that may as well have brought down the house. Lights went out all over the compound, including the room you were in- and sirens started sounding. The entire warehouse seemed to plunge itself into lock down, as grates slid down over the windows.

Reaching up you pressed once on your cuff earrings, “LUNA, give me night vision. And call Tony-”

The sound of gunfire just outside the room drew your attention. Seconds after, your eyes adjusted as LUNA did what you asked. And then again when you heard his voice, “What’s up? What’s happening?”

“SHIELD is on lockdown.” You tried to keep your voice hushed, although it may not have mattered as the sounds of gunfire continued, only interrupted by pained shouts. Backing yourself against the wall closest to the door you took a breath in. This was a trick right? Some sort of test?

“I’m coming. Stay where you are. Don’t move.”

But was that really the correct course of action? Agents were taking fire in the hallway. Several feet from you. And you had the means to do something about it? ...didn’t you?

“LUNA identify bodies. How many are we looking at out there?”

“I told you to stay where you are, damn it.” It was hard to ignore Tony’s ire. But… you couldn’t just stay put.

“Five injured. Suspect is two corridors down.”

“Only one?” It seemed strange there was just a single person behind this sudden onslaught. Then again, with everything you’d been through, maybe you should have expected that. “Light the way for me.”

LUNA zeroed in on the target’s heat signature- and with them moving farther away, you chanced stepping out of the room. Agents were down. But you couldn’t stop to help them right now. Someone had broken into SHIELD- probably get something. You had to try and put a stop to it.

So around the next corner you went- and then the next- until LUNA’s voice interrupted you again as you came to an open door at the end of the hallway. “Director Fury’s inside with the suspect.”

Fury could handle it, right? You should just lay low? But as you approached, another gunshot spooked you, as did the sound of a body falling. “Where is it? Give me the files. No one else has to die.” You didn’t know the voice.

 Where was Natasha? Or Coulson?

 Sliding the zipper down on your jacket, the Heart Reactor’s glow burst forward in the darkened hallway. You gave it a single tap. “LUNA I need a glove.” Maybe it would have been smarter to go in full. It probably was. But you only needed one shot.

And that’s exactly the one you took.

Busting into the room you thrust your hand out, bracing yourself for the impact that threatened to throw you from your stance and to the floor as the repulsor shot out, taking the aggressor to the back of the room in one clean move.

Quickly you moved to Fury, kneeling. “Get up. Now.” You didn’t have a lot of time.

“Just get out of here.” He growled back. Unable to move? You had no idea. And no time to ask LUNA for vitals. Sense of duty took over.

You slung his arm over your shoulder. “Come on. Help me help you.” Lifting him to his feet was not an easy task, but somehow you managed. And with that you started walking him towards the door. Almost home free- you didn’t know where you’d hide, but you only needed to last as long as it would take for Tony to come-

“Projectiles coming in from behind!!”

LUNA’s warning was too slow. Without a second thought you shouldered the brunt of them, turning sideways to keep Fury out of the line of fire. Two very sharp- something- knives it felt like- slammed into your back, almost right into your spine. Leaving you lurching forward on your feet with a punched out breath that you immediately sucked back in.

Fury tried to steady you but it wasn’t enough. So you did the next best thing.

You gave the Heart Reactor a double tap with your free hand, and a pained grunt, drawing the nanobots out with a quick sweep of your arm, letting them rain down the rest of your body. It took seconds. And two more for you to turn around and face him. “Let’s try this again.”

“Incoming!” LUNA zeroed in on the next projectile coming right at your face, spurring your quick reaction to reach out and catch an arrow midair seconds before hitting you. So you did the next best thing you could think of.

“Here, you can have it back.” And with every ounce of force, after locking on through the visor, you threw it back at him, sinking into his shoulder- yes, him you realized, as he got caught with a sharp hiss and a growl. “And this too, while we’re at it-” Opening your hand again to blast him right off his feet- right through the wall. “Let’s move.” Talking to Fury.

Making it about five steps out of the room before everything shifted on an uncomfortable axis and you weren’t sure who was holding on to who anymore. Your legs stopped working.

“Ma’am your vitals are dropping- you’ve got tetrodotoxin and datura innoxia running through your system- you need to stop moving or there’s a chance of critical failure in-”

“Not now LUNA-” Breathing out of control very suddenly. And then you were no longer standing- pinned against the nearby wall- and then dropped to a tumble on the floor. Body on top of yours. No thought in your head. Seizing in pain-

Survival became the only thing you could think about. Putting your hands up to block a blow, you shunted his fists off next, lifting your hips to roll him forward. Bracing his chest you threw him up and over and then followed blindly in a backwards roll, spinning around to pin him. Bringing your hands up in a lock and then down smashing his windpipe-

Your vision cut- perhaps LUNA failing on you. You just knew you weren’t in that darkness alone- but it lit up in just another moment. And you felt the wave of a ripple brush against your hand. Then. Finally. You were moving. One- two- three in-

Seeing that man standing there. In stilted movements you crept up to him, and then put your hands on him- lowering in like he was made of water- in him-

It’s when you knew your eyes were no longer your own. Your hands were not yours as you struggled to reach for a gun on the floor.

 But you heard your own voice- Don’t you feel terrible? All these people you’ve hurt-

 And an answer, No. I don’t. I did exactly what I was supposed to.

 So you wondered- Don’t you feel like being honest? Who do you work for?

 Finger on the trigger. Hammer cocked. Barrel on a temple.

 Panic came to a boil.

 I’m on your side-

I’m on your team-

I work for SHIELD-

I don’t want to die.

 Solid fear shoved you back. And you belonged to you again. Briefly. For seconds. And then you were falling again. Shuddering a breath in and then-

And then-

 ...and then….

                                 -----------------------------------------

 Voices faded in and out around you. Your entire being told you it was better to keep your eyes closed. To keep drifting. To let the room sway back and forth…

“So far as I can see it, the Avengers-”

People were yelling. They were always yelling.

“I warned you once-”

“She nearly killed him-”

“I’m fine-”

“I’m sorry- was that not the point?- get better risk assessment-”

They were all yelling on top of each other. A door slammed close to your head. It startled your eyelids open finally. About a quarter of the way. All you could manage. You already felt him. “Tony…?”

“Right here, honey.” The bed dipped as he came to sit next to you. His hands were cool against your forehead. Something you appreciated immensely. “I have JARVIS running your vitals, but tell me how you’re feeling.”

“What happened?” Your voice came out in a croak. “Why is everyone screaming at each other?”

“Wonderful team we’ve got going here, wouldn’t you say?” It was hard to get him into focus, so you gave up, closing your eyes again and just listening to him. “Training exercise, he says. Very close to failure until you put in your bid- and I came in with mine.”

Training exercise-

Training exercise-

 Anger rose up in you hotter than any you’d felt before.

 “I will kill Nick Fury with my bare hands.” Blinking your eyes open again, seeing the brief and very fond line of a smile on Tony’s lips as he watched you. But his hands were quick, stilling you as you went to sit up.

“Not before I do.”

“You won’t be the first ones to try. And you won’t be the last.” He came through the door, crossing his arms. “Just so we’re clear, I’m only very generally considering today a mild success. We’ve got a lot of work to do. Rest up. Debrief is in fifteen. If you can make it.” And then just as he’d let himself in as quickly, he was gone in the next breath.

Through the fog- and the much heavier ire- you surprised yourself, “So. SHIELD’s version of a fire drill?”

“Not nearly that competent.” Despite Tony’s mood matching yours, you saw a small light of a half grin.

“Who does that say more about?” Shifting, finding your body belonging painlessly to you again, you sat up halfway. Tony’s hands were quick to your shoulders. “So one of theirs did this to me.” But you knew that already.

You remembered.

“Yeah, well, he’s lucky he’s not in a hospital right now. Or a morgue.”

“You do that much damage?” No doubts in your mind that if Tony had come blasting in as Iron Man and seen that man attacking you- or whatever had happened after everything went black- he probably would have killed him.

But Tony’s lips curved further into a slightly satisfied smile. “You did. There was barely anything left for me.”

There was a light sense of pride here. And relief, too. Knowing that you could defend yourself if it came down to it. Knowing that LADY had perhaps served as enough protection- and really, had you activated the whole suit when you should have… Beginner’s mistake. “Yeah but. According to LUNA, I’m pretty sure I was almost poisoned to death. I remember… having him but then everything went dark-”

“That wasn’t from the tetro and innoxia. You basically sweated them out.” And, of course Tony knew exactly what had been ailing you. He’d probably been running diagnostics since the moment he’d gone in probably right up until a few seconds ago. But hearing him say this confused the hell out of you. The little tilt of your head got him to continue. He was much softer when he finally did. “That was- …if they’re worth listening to, anyway, that was you using too much. Of the thing. And passing out.” And then, quieter still, “...I saw the footage. I think you scared the hell out of everyone in this place.”

Including him, it seemed. And hearing him put it that way- and catching those brief flashes- maybe even yourself. “I… I went further. It’s impossible to explain. But I think for a few seconds I...”

“Made him put a gun to his head? Because that’s the way he’s telling it. And much as he deserved it, if you’ve got a different side to that story, it might be worth telling.”

Your mouth opened but nothing came out. Slowly you looked up at him. “...I don’t.”

                                 -----------------------------------------

 The air in the debriefing room was extremely tense. Not unusual for this entire compound, but after everything that had just happened, you couldn’t imagine it getting much worse. There were agents in the room you didn’t recognize again, and everyone looked like they’d taken equal turns beating on each other.

Fury had his hands on his hips, surveying the crowd of tired faces. “Let’s start off simple. This test operation was run by Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton.” The two of them stood at his sides, and while you knew Nat, this Barton man you didn’t- ...except that you did. “Romanoff was tasked with the west wing, Barton with the east. They were unsuccessful. But just barely. And I don’t put bets on teams that just barely squeak by.” Leaning in he put his palms hard on the table. “And it’s hard for a team to win when all their players aren’t on the same page. We’ve got Team Stark over there in their own faction.”

“And this is the part where you segue into thanking us for our service, I’ll bet, since you were down and we pulled you back up.” Tony’s arms were crossed tight as he spoke. Tone dry and very displeased.

“Nice suit you’ve built for her. When were we gonna get let in on that?”

You looked up at Fury, “It had nothing to do with what I was being trained on.”

“Oh we can talk about your training. Barton here says we’re playing with a telepath. Not an empath. So you’ve been lying this whole time?”

Tony’s rebuff was quick, “Wasn’t that your intel? You’re gonna blame her for your mistakes?”

This was an unfair hole for you to be in. Because there was no way to climb out. No way to convince them one way or the other. Yet still it upset you. “No! It’s not like that. It wasn’t like that- I can’t just- I can’t just make people do things- I was trying to do what I learned but I was panicking- and full of fucking poison I might add- I went further than I ever have that’s all.”

Barton turned his sharp gaze towards you, clearing his throat somewhat painfully, “Well if that’s how far you can go, I’d rather have you on our side. But that was not someone messing with my emotions. I’m not really in the habit of trying to shoot myself during missions. No matter how I might be feeling about them.” His candor both surprised and upset you.

Tony put a hand on your bouncing leg underneath the table, but kept his eyes up. “Turnabout is fair play. You surprised her, she surprised the hell out of you.”

Fury locked his gaze again. “I can’t direct players on a field if I don’t know what they’re capable of.”

You were frustrated beyond belief. “Even if you did, would that have changed the outcome? If we’re trying to set up a scenario where a rogue person comes in looking for information- or whatever- and they don’t know everything- then I’d say we did fine.” Since, it appeared, you had one-upped them and kept them from completing their objective.

It was hard to tell. You’d been slightly unconscious for the end bits.

“Fine is not gonna be enough when the big dogs come to play.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “What big dogs are we talking about? You know- you’re all about being a big leader. Director. But you don’t have a habit of speaking very plainly. If you wanna keep the analogy up, your team can’t make the right calls if they’re missing information on their plays.”

Natasha finally spoke up, “So the team’s full of information holes on both sides. Is that what we’re saying?” This sort of hurt you. You’d been growing closer to her, but then again, was she really your friend? She worked for SHIELD. Not for you. “But- everyone did their part here. And I think it’s fair to say Agent Barton and I are not easy to get a leg up on.”

You could practically feel Tony’s eye-roll, and caught the dramatic loll of his head to the side. “Save the self praise, would you?”

“It’s a two way compliment.” Natasha smiled. You noticed Barton turning to hide one as well. She was right, anyway. She’d been in a whole other part of the compound doing who knew what- stacked against who knew how many agents. Barton had been alone on your side, as well. And he’d taken out two hallways worth of agents. And put Fury on his knees.

It was safe to say they were very good at their jobs.

“Compliment or not, you’re missing a big part of this picture.” Tony spoke again, standing soon after, leaning with his palms on the table. “Are we putting together a team to face threats the military can’t handle? Or are we putting together a team to protect SHIELD secrets?”

“You are a SHIELD secret, Stark.” Fury was quick to comment.

“No. See, I control my own headlines. Pretty sure the whole world knows who Iron Man is. So if that’s a threat-”

“And how’s that been working out for you?” He looked directly at you, next. “And you? The world knows about your secret little operation? I remember you asking me for a mask to keep that secret off the streets.”

This was not headed to a productive place. You stood aside Tony. “Stop being so combative. You’ve been so terrible to me the second I met you- yet for some reason I keep coming here-”

“Something that we’re grateful for.” Natasha chimed in very quickly.

“Everyone else out.”

At Fury’s hard order the unfamiliar agents got up mere seconds after being told to do so and filed out. Fury crossed his arms, turning to the window. You looked up at Tony, as if to ask if you should even bother staying, and he simply shrugged with another roll of his eyes. He was getting to his limit, if he wasn’t already over it. So were you.

Fury cleared his throat and started with your name. It almost surprised you that he even knew it. “I think I need to be very clear about this.” He turned around to face the four of you left in the room. “The Avengers are a secret team, right now. The world is not ready for this. What it means. What it could mean. We need to protect that. At all costs.”

Tony’s reply was as quick as it was angry. “A secret spy organization needs to protect its secret spy files. Color me surprised. Let me be clear. I haven’t so much as seen a mission statement. Not for the Avengers. Not for SHIELD. If any of it is worth protecting, working for- you damn well better start trying to actually convince me.” He turned to leave. “I’m gonna start billing you for miles by the way, next time I have to come over here to clean up.” Just like that he left. To go to the recovery room, you knew. His suit was still in there.

Natasha and Barton were next, sent out of the room with a wave of Fury’s arm. He came up behind them and you stood your ground, feeling something awful on the horizon. It always was with him.

He looked down at you. Sizing you up probably. You didn’t waver.

But when he finally spoke, “It’s been expressed to me in fuller language that I have not been easy on you. And up until now, it was because I didn’t trust you.” He was being entirely too honest, really. None of this was helping your feelings over him if that’s what this was about. “But you’re right. You keep showing up. You keep putting in the hours. And back in that room you didn’t hesitate.”

You were not hungry for Nick Fury’s acceptance, which drove your next statement, “That was your own mistake.” You knew who you were.

“That’s what I’m saying.” His hand came off his hip, holding out to you. “You might not be an agent, but you’ll make a fine Avenger.”

This in no way made up for everything else he’d put you through. Being the bigger person wasn’t always a fulfilling feeling. But if your reevaluation period was up and he’d finally figured it all out… you took hold of his hand and shook it. “I’ll do my best. Not for you.” Whatever this team was, whatever it would end up fighting for, standing for, if it was the right things, you absolutely would. “This doesn’t make up for everything, by the way.” But you had to at least let him know this.

Finally, for once in his life, he grinned. “Of course it doesn’t. You’ve got a lot of work to do if you wanna make everything up to me.”

Your brow popped up before you could stop it. “Fell face first right out of the gate.” Turning away from him with a shake of your head, you ignored his lighthearted chuckles behind you.

Going back to the recovery room, Tony was waiting, all suited up. “Ready to go?”

Both doors were open, and Fury was standing in the hallway now with his arms crossed. Watching you. It was why you derived much pleasure with a nod at Tony. “Yeah.” And then gave a tap-tap to the Heart Reactor, bringing your arms out and then crossed in, finishing off with a flourishing press of your cuff earring to activate your visor and helmet. “Let’s go.”

It was those notes of anger and resentment and disbelief that were oh so delicious as Fury stood aside while the two of you jetted out of the room and up through yet another hole Tony must have made in the compound’s roof when he’d come in. “He have anything good to say?” Tony asked as he kept speed aside you.

“Does he ever?”

“Very good point.”

As you broke through the line of clouds, “He said he was going to be less of an asshole to me. In much fewer words.”

“And all you had to do was nearly kill one of his favorite agents. Be careful or you’ll be teacher’s pet by the end of the year.” You couldn’t help the eugh that rose up from your throat, and the sound of Tony’s quiet warm laughter in your ear provoked a smile. “Anything else?”

“Oh. Yeah. I’m an Avenger now. I guess.”

“Should I order some champagne? Or is this more of a boxed wine occasion?”

You blew out a sigh. “After everything I’ve been through today…?” There probably wasn’t enough creature comfort in the world to soothe this over. Or the looming promise of what it was slowly becoming.

“Fancy wine in a hot bath. Complimentary shoulder massage.”

At this you really couldn’t help the smile. “Now we’re getting somewhere.” As long as you could decompress with Tony… maybe you could handle it all. Together.

Maybe.

[hopeishappinessff]

Holding Onto Hope: Chapter 53.2

Chris

“It’s that pretty brown round, driving me wild… ooh bitch ya pussy’s ‘bout to get a little greasier. That KY make penetratin’ so much easier…”

I bobbed my head to the music and smirked as I conjured up a freaky little text to send Hope… I was so fucking horny. It was also a struggle for me to keep my eyes open or to even sit up straight for that matter. I wasn’t even tired… but I was all the fucking way gone. Hope had responded back to me over an hour ago, but at that point everything was such a damn blur I couldn’t even see my phone screen straight. I think she may have sent me a picture of her titties, but thanks to the kush in my system I was too paranoid to attempt to take a closer look and risk the boys noticing. I would not hesitate to fight my own homeboy if they saw a naked picture of her on my phone… or anywhere in life for that matter.

The music thumped with even more bass than the club, which gave the girls plenty to shake their asses to. Asses… and titties… and thighs, oh my. I didn’t think Virginia was capable of creating strippers this beautifully crafted. I wasn’t about to risk looking at any of them for too long, but a quick peep here and there couldn’t be much harm.

The boys were all hype around me, even BJ and Kendrick because the music was just that lit… and they were clearly just as gone as me. These niggas were actually standing not too far from me, moving their hands animatedly as they rapped along like they were featured on the damn song.

Dontay was sitting to the left of me, not so subtly making out with one of Rose’s friends. Ashley was her name… maybe. And Rashad was on the couch to the right with the other girl, who’s name I couldn’t remember even if I tried, cuddled up in his lap, whispering in his ear. He was sitting there giggling like a little bitch and I laughed and shook my head as I watched from the corner of my eye. I wondered for a moment where Rose went… with her fine ass. I quickly shook my head, much too quick for my level of intoxication, and squeezed my eyes shut to rid myself of the image of this girl. Even the thought of her being attractive crossing my mind felt like I was cheating, so I needed to get it together before I made myself feel even more guilty.

Parting my lids to look straight ahead, I cursed myself for instantly locking eyes with her. Perhaps if I wasn’t thinking about her in the first place, she would have never appeared… with two shot glasses in her hands, and a smile on her face.

“Take a shot with me?” She half asked, half stated as she stopped about a foot away from me. She projected one of the glasses out directly in my face, but I frowned and sat up a bit straighter, hopefully alerting her of my disinterest in stepping into the realm of alcohol poisoning by drinking anymore liquor.

“Nah, I’m good.” I said… or slurred.

“Please. Just one… before you go.” She had the audacity to pout and look almost sad, not like I cared… she could outright cry in my face and I still wouldn’t care, but this was indeed a whole free shot.

I eyed her left hand for a while, the hand that was sticking straight out in my face with this tempting shot, then I sighed with defeat and struggled to get my own hand and my vision to work together to take it from her grasp. She giggled at the sight of my drunk ass trying to accomplish the most simple task and I guess she decided to make it easier for me by taking a step forward… and turning to plop her ass down right in my lap. I wasn’t exactly sure how to react to that… or to the fact that she turned her body to face me, obviously making herself more comfortable, and raised the shot glass to my lips. I stared dead in this girl’s eyes as I parted my lips, tilted my head back, and swallowed down the shot. First of all, a red flag should have gone up in my mind when this damn shot of liquid fire slithered down my throat like water… and second, three more red flags should have gone up as soon as homegirl took a seat on me.

I should have pushed her off me as soon as she sat down… should have pushed her smooth on the floor. But, it’s as if I was stuck in a trance and absolutely unable to move a muscle as she sat there slowly licking her lips after she’d downed her shot.

“Now… that wasn’t so bad, was it?” She asked with a smile. I shook my head like a dumbstruck little boy and heaved a deep sigh. I hadn’t quite noticed how well-endowed she was on the lower half until she shifted again in my lap. I also hadn’t noticed that I was staring at her wide hips that spread with the weight of her sitting on me… nor did I notice just how slouched I was to give her the perfect angle to sit directly on my crotch.

“I fucking love this song!’ She blurted randomly. Snatching my thirsty, blurred stare from her fat ass I tuned in to the sound of Rick Ross’s Peace Sign and I think perhaps my heart dropped. Whether from the memory of this very same song playing in Magic City the time I took Hope and a fine ass stripper by the name of Lola Devine devoured her pussy like it was her last meal, or from the reality that Rose was now rotating her hips in my lap to the deep bass of the song… my heart was officially in my ass.

“Have you heard this song before?” She asked, peeping over her shoulder to look back at me with a not so innocent smirk on her full lips.

“Yeah.” I muttered, nodding quickly with my eyes focused back on her ass. She giggled and turned to face forward, placing her heels firmly on the floor. Her hands found my knees and she used them to brace herself as she began a slow wine on me and before I knew it, my bottom lip went flying in my mouth and an inaudible ‘shit’ went flying out.

It was like magic the way her ass and hips caught every single beat in the song… she certainly had me hypnotized with her act. Pushing herself up a bit, I paid close attention to the way she hiked her booty up and made it clap right over my dick… which was now obviously very awake. I cursed myself in my mind, shutting my eyes briefly with hopes that it would just fucking go away if I conjured up a quick image of Hope at home, in bed, pregnant, with my child.

But the image unfortunately didn’t materialize quick enough for me to come to my senses… this damn girl had already turned the fuck around and straddled me and my now hard dick.

“Lay me on my back, got my legs wide open like a peace sign.” She leaned forward and sang the chorus softly in my ear, sending chills through my body as she reconnected with my crotch. Did she even have on panties? God I prayed she did… I could not go home with a big wet stain on the front of my damn pants! I was confident that she was doing a great job of turning herself on, or I was turning her on, or fuck… was that her damn tongue on my neck!

“Rose, chill.” I mumbled feebly, too weak for her to even hear… or too weak for her to take me serious.

“What happens in this club tonight, doesn’t have to make it home to your girl,” She whispered with her lips pressed gently against my ear, “I’ll make sure she never finds out.”

She caught my earlobe and the entire diamond stud in it in her mouth and suckled then let it go and pressed her lips against it.

“Rose…” “Nigga!” I could hear the voice of a man somewhere in front of me, but Rose was practically full on riding me at this point so I couldn’t see anything past her.

She sat up suddenly with her hands still pressed against my shoulders. How the fuck did I even get this slouched in this damn chair? I caught the tail end of her wink before her playful smirk fell into a frown and she glanced back over her shoulder. Reluctantly, and I mean with extreme reluctance, she lifted herself off me with a roll of her eyes. She wasn’t all that quick to adjust her dress, especially in the front… where only I could just barely make out her bald pussy. She really wasn’t wearing any panties! Fuck… I was terrified to look down at my pants.

“Bruh, what the fuck?” It was Kendrick who’d come along to save the day and I came pretty close to standing up and embracing him in a hug. Instead, he pulled me up to my feet and I quickly latched a hand onto the arm of the small couch to balance myself.

“You good dawg?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Bruh,” I shook my head slowly and stared up at the dark ceiling, “Please don’t take this the wrong way… I need you to look at the front of my pants…”

He was silent for a while… like a long ass while and with my head still tilted up, I cut my eyes at him and he burst into laughter. I mean this guy doubled over and held onto my arm, he was laughing that hard.

“Shit man… wooooo I didn’t realize yo ass was this funny,” He said after about two full minutes of laughter, “I peeped your shit when ole girl stood up. You good… you got a lil bit of an issue that you may need to handle before you get home and Sy and wonders why the fuck you just excited and shit, but you good though. She ain’t have no draws on, huh?”

I shook my head and sighed “I can’t even believe that just happened.”

“Believe it homie,” He chuckled, slapping a hand down on my shoulder, “That girl been eyeing you all night long. And I had some fucking bubble butt ass stripper come for me… that’s why it took me so long to come save you!”

I laughed and shook my head yet again “I think it’s time to head home man.”

He agreed before I could finish the sentence and turned in the opposite direction of Rose and her friend, who’d huddled together not too far from where the third friend, Ashley I believe, sat in Dontay’s lap with her face wedged in the crook of his neck. Rashad kept a close eye on the other friend who stood with Rose, like one of us was gonna take the girl from him… I shook my head at the thought. Nobody wanted any of these females… at all.

“Aye dawg, will you let Don’s twisted ass know we heading out?” BJ chuckled, leaning in close to speak to Rashad over the blare of the music. I didn’t bother to stick around to wait for a response. Kendrick and I both quietly made our way out of the section and we just about made it to the door before I heard BJ calling out to us from behind. There was no way I was gonna risk turning around to catch eyes with that girl again… BJ was just gonna have to hurry his ass up before he got left.

Thankfully Kendrick chose to drive his car this evening… or morning, and that made it much easier for us to hightail it out of there without having to wait for Dontay and Rashad. Rose seriously had my ass spooked at this point, so I was prepared to walk home if I had to just to get away from her. Sure the girl was drop dead gorgeous, had a body that could kill, and smelled like heaven… but she wasn’t my cup of tea. I’d gotten a good taste of that life back in Georgia and thanks to my careless ways, I almost cost myself the love of my life… and my life.

It became quite a task to not throw up with the way everything was spinning all around me. The car even seemed to be going much faster than it was, or maybe Kendrick really was speeding because he was pretty fucked up himself. Whatever the case… I shut my eyes for most of the ride and even then I had to will myself not to puke.

Somehow I ended up passed out by the time we pulled up to the house and I just about slept right through the feeling of one of the boys shaking the shit out of my arm. “Breezy, nigga! Get your ass up bro!” I couldn’t tell which one of them it was, but I really needed him to shut the fuck up. With a miserable groan, I opened my eyes into the tiniest slits and stared into thick darkness. Was it possible that I’d drank so much that I lost my eyesight?

“What the fuck.” I muttered, feeling an odd sensation rub against my lips as I spoke. I could feel my cheek pressed against something as well… where the hell was I?

“Man, maybe we should just leave him here. At least we know he’s safe… but I need to go lay my ass down.” Another voice from behind me. Why weren’t these voices explaining to me where I was?

“Nah, ‘cause if Mama or Auntie see him out here in the morning… we all gettin’ cussed out!” Somebody smacked their lips with obvious irritation and I felt a hard hit followed by throbbing pain to the back of my right leg. With a frown, I moved my head back a bit further and shifted to my right, then I suddenly felt like I was falling for all of one second… then my entire right side throbbed.

“Shit!” I exclaimed. Whoever was standing near me burst out laughing and I struggled, really struggled, to lift my head and look back. Through a blurry haze I made out the shapes of what looked like Kendrick hunched over laughing and BJ leaned up against the side of the car laughing just as hard. The car… if BJ was leaning against the side of the car, that meant I must have been somewhere inside it.

Turning my head again, I realized that I was still in the car… and that I’d just rolled onto the floor from the back seat. I would have laughed at my own self, had my big ass not been wedged so tight between the back seat and the front.

“Niggas… help me…” I struggled to breathe as I waited for them to calm down with all the laughter and grab ahold of my legs so they could literally yank me out of the car. And they did just that… until I ended up face first on the ground, halfway in the grass and halfway on the driveway. I laid there cracking the hell up at myself, eventually managing to roll over and spot Kendrick laid out on the ground right beside me laughing himself to tears and BJ leaned over the back of the trunk hollering.

“Yoooo, we need to get the fuck in the house before the neighbors come out here. We look like we trynna rob this car right now, but we was too stupid to finish the job!” BJ snorted.

“Aww shit, get up dawg… get up!” Kendrick exclaimed, struggling to make his way onto his own feet. There was no way I was gonna be able to do that… no way at all. So I laid there and continued to laugh until him and BJ came along and collected me from the ground… and man was it a struggle. I think we fell about three more times, all because their drunk asses were trying to keep my drunk ass up. By the grace of God we made it up the steps of the porch and they propped me against the paneled wall beside the door until they could figure out how to get in the house.

“Fuck bro, we ain’t got no key!” BJ whispered harshly.

“I do.” I whispered back. “Nigga why you whispering?” Kendrick asked.

“He fuckin’ whispered.” I slurred.

“Gimme the key, foolish ass.” BJ laughed. My squinted eyes darted to the front left pocket of my pants and I smirked as I slowly looked up at Kendrick.

“Man dawg,” He smacked his lips and shook his head reluctantly, “Why we keep being so damn intimate tonight?”

The way he said that shit, was fucking hilarious… so I cackled like a hyena and leaned back from the wall, only managing to miss the ground when BJ flew forward and caught me by my shoulders. He barely kept me up as he shook from his own laughter and Kendrick chuckled right along with us as he turned his head and reached into my pocket.

Again, only by the grace of God did we somehow find our way not only through both the screen door and the large oak door, but upstairs and into the hallway right outside of Hope’s room too. How we managed to get up the stairs without breaking our necks was all a blur, but with my persistence to be by Hope’s side we all put in some serious team work to make it happen.

Kendrick pushed the door open and I stumbled my way in, bumping into the dresser closest to the door with a thud.

“Chill out man!” BJ whispered.

“Shut your ass up!” I whispered back harshly and in a slur, “Who the fuck is that?”

They both turned their attention to Hope’s bed and we all stared on quietly at the sight of two bodies sprawled out in the bed, one obviously belonging to Hope.

“It’s gotta be one of the girls.” It was BJ who took off first toward the bed and Kendrick who stayed behind to keep me propped safely against the dresser.

“It’s Dez.” He whispered from the other side of the room where he stood near the bed, peering down at her like a creep.

“You look like a fucking murderer bro.” Kendrick whispered, which started a chain reaction of laughter. What none of us were expecting, however, was for her crazy ass to actually wake up…

“BJ… the fuck you doing standing over me like that? Nigga, if you don’t move!” She half yelled, swinging an arm out from beneath the blanket she had tossed halfway over her head.

He quickly flinched back away from her, narrowly avoiding her flailing arm “Whoa girl, chill.” “Chill my ass! Why the fuck are you even in here… at four in the morning?” She was entirely too alert now and for two seconds, I almost regretted coming in here in the first place.

“This nigga insisted that we bring his ass up here.” He said, tossing an incrementing finger in my direction.

Destani, being the drama queen that she was, sat all the way up in the bed now and decided to go the indiscreet route by snatching on the bedside lamp to her left.

“Chris… Kendrick… what the fuck?” She glared across the room at us, arms crossed over her chest like an angry black mother seconds away from scolding her children.

“Look man, can you either make space for him between ya’ll or come all the way up out the bed so homeboy can lay down? He fucking heavy as shit!” Kendrick exclaimed. I chuckled because I hadn’t even realized that I’d leaned back away from the dresser and put just about all my weight against him.

“Destani…” Though I could barely see straight enough to make out her face, that beautifully gentle voice would never fail to command my attention, “What’s going on?”

“Your extremely intoxicated ass boyfriend and his obnoxious friends just got back. This block headed nigga had his babysitters bring him up here to you.” She fussed. Now her voice on the other hand annoyed me and left me frowning and glaring right back at her. “Shut the fuck up Dez.” I mumbled.

“No you shut the fuck up nigga. Nobody told you dumbasses to come bombarding your way in here making all this noise at fucking four in the morning. Why are ya’ll even getting back this late anyway?” Her voice continued to piss me off, but I was thankful that she was finally climbing her ass out of my spot in the bed.

“Don’t fucking worry about it…” Using the side of the dresser to tug myself off of Kendrick, I stood up straight and lingered there for a moment until I could figure out how to keep myself balanced so I could make my way over to the bed.

“Did you guys really just get back?” I heard Hope ask. I think she was sitting up in the bed now as well, but I couldn’t risk even peeping through my peripheral… that would surely through me off balance and I would quickly end up face down on the floor. Eventually Kendrick came to my aide, both responding to Hope and getting me over to the bed. He may not have thought I noticed the little nudge he gave me when I was within range to land on the bed, but I did… his ass pushed me. But whatever, this bed felt like sex.

“This guy is gonna need to sleep this off for like three days.” BJ chuckled.

“Get the fuck out BJ.” I muttered, face halfway wedged into the softest damn comforter I’d ever felt in life. He laughed louder then, as did Kendrick from the other side of the room, but he took heed to my drunken words and made his way over to the door.

“Thank you boys for getting him home safely. Are Dontay and Rashad downstairs?” Hope asked.

“Nah, them hoes still out.” Kendrick laughed.

“Hmph, well let me go lock the deadbolt so they can’t get in here,” Destani mumbled, swiftly brushing past them, “And when I get back up here, ya’ll better not be in that guest room.”

“Ain’t nobody going in there girl.” Kendrick yelled out after her. They both trailed out into the hall behind her, shutting the door behind themselves.

I could feel sleep creeping up on me like a thief in the night and I sure did welcome it with open arms. Even with my eyes closed I could still feel the room swirling all around me, but in the battle between sleep and nausea… sleep was quickly winning.

“Charlie?”

My head was turned toward the large window on the other side of the room and I simply didn’t have it in me to lift it and face her. Hell, I barely had it in me to respond.

“Hmm?”

“Did you have a good night?” There was a smile in her voice, that I could tell. The thought of it resting on her perfect lips made me smile… but I still couldn’t bring myself to face her.

“Mmhm…”

She giggled and I suddenly felt my hat disappear from the top of my head. The last thing I remember was the feeling of her leaning over me to shut off the light to my right. Then I felt her silky smooth lips against my temple…

“Goodnight Charlie.”

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (47/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

Masterpost

Chapter Forty Six

“He’s my friend,” Steve said and he lifted his shield and hit Tony’s chest sending him back against a wall.

Barnes appeared then, his arm gleaming. “I killed them,” he said as he came after Tony. “I remember all of them.”

Barnes’ hand pressed into his chest and his fingers tried to get at the arc reactor and Steve just watched and suddenly Tony wasn’t in the suit and it was Obadiah taking the arc reactor out of his chest and Tony was on the ground and he couldn’t breathe. Yinsen appeared here and there out of focus. “You are a man that has nothing.”

“Tony, he didn’t do it,” Steve said in the background.

“I don’t care,” Tony said and then he was on the road but his feet seemed to be stuck to the pavement and Barnes was walking around the car. Tony screamed and then he was falling as if the ground had opened up but everything was black and--

He was in the dark of space and the Chitauri were all around him. When he looked down he could see Steve and Barnes and Peter. They were all--

“Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark!”

His body shook and he jerked up as his eyes opened and found Peter leaning over him, one of his hands on Tony’s shoulder, frowning worriedly.

“You had a nightmare,” Peter said and he pulled his hand away.

Tony sat up slowly and he tried to calm his breathing, very conscious of the fact that Peter was standing at his bedside watching him.

“Are you alright?” Peter asked.

“Yes,” Tony managed. “Yes, I’ll be okay.”

Peter nodded. “Can I get you anything?” he asked.

“No, no, don’t worry about it,” Tony said. “I think I’ll just go take a shower. No use trying to sleep now. Thank you, Peter.”

“Are you sure?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, kiddo. Thanks. Glad you were here to wake me.”

Peter didn’t say anything for a moment.

“Just go back and get some more sleep. We’re leaving in a few hours.”

Peter nodded again and Tony could feel his eyes on him as he got up feeling more sore and stiff than he had expected. A hot shower would definitely help with all of that. It wouldn’t make him stop thinking about Barnes or Steve or the nightmare but it would help. He heard Peter leave the room slowly and Tony just continued towards the bathroom, taking small strides.

---

They arrived in Wakanda after a detour to Berlin to drop off Zemo in Everett Ross’ hands and Steve was not too far gone into his thoughts to not take a moment to admire the place because it was simply amazing and no one knew it was there. It was an honor, he knew, to be allowed inside and even though there would be safety in staying there, Steve knew that he couldn’t just hide out. It wasn’t in his nature. He had never been one to stay idle and this was really not the time to do so. Not when his team had been taken and put into cells and he was really the only one that could get them out of it. It was also his fault that they were there in the first place so he really did need to get them out.

Steve was aware that Tony would want to help them get out of The Raft but his hands were tied. There wasn’t much that he could do without getting into trouble. Actually, Steve wasn’t sure if Tony wouldn’t be in trouble with Ross and The Accords without even trying to get the others of of The Raft. Everything really was a mess. Steve needed to figure out what he might be able to do.

T’Challa gave them the resources that he could which turned out to be more than Steve could have expected it. It was how Steve managed to get in contact with Sharon who gave him as much info on The Raft as she had available and then promised to get back to him with more as soon as she was able. But what Sharon could give him was enough for Shuri to help Steve with tracking The Raft down.

Steve didn’t know quite what to make of Shuri except that she was amazing. Amazing and brilliant and so young. He wished that Tony could meet her because he just knew that they would have conversations that went over his head but also that he would just love her and see the future in her. He missed Tony. It was an ache deep inside him that wouldn’t go away mostly because Steve was well aware that he couldn’t yet know if or when he would be able to see Tony again. Or, if Tony would want to see him. Steve was not deluding himself into thinking that everything was okay between them and he hated it -- hated that he couldn’t even do anything to fix it either.

---

Ms. Parker,

Peter is wonderful. I am in awe of him and I have loved every second I have spent with him even if there were other pressing things happening. It just makes me want to spend more time with him. And it makes me want to tell him the secret. I think it is better told now than later. This is not asking for permission, I think we are past that. I intend to tell him before I return him to you tomorrow night. I just wanted you to be prepared.

Tony Stark

Tony sent the email while they were in the air. Tony had decided that they might as well take the quinjet back to New York. Happy had been against the idea, mostly because he didn’t really like flying, but Tony didn’t mind that Happy prefered to take the private plane back because it gave him more alone time with Peter even if Happy had made the attempt at making Peter go with him. Happy could be a little dramatic.

In some ways, Tony understood where Happy was coming from. He was protective and wasn’t too fond of Tony involving new people in his life because everyone was a possible danger. It had been so clear throughout breakfast that morning when Happy had been prepared to stand between Peter and Tony no matter where they went. At first it had been a little amusing but then it had gotten tiring.

But to add to that, Tony was also left wondering about what Happy would have said to Peter about how the German papers were calling him “sticky-boy” if Tony hadn’t been there. There had been a very specific look in Happy’s eyes when he’d seen the headline right on the front page of their morning paper. Tony wasn’t exactly thrilled with it either, but it the picture wasn’t good quality and actually looked a bit grainy and Friday had certainly done her job by keeping the moniker, Spider-Man, out of the papers. So, it didn’t really matter much. Happy was just a drama queen and Tony had begun to understand why Peter had left via window the night before because if Happy had been acting like that the entire trip then he probably would have left too. Tony might have been tempted to escape too. It brought Tony back to Happy’s days as the head of security as SI and how paranoid he’d become when it came to badges.

So, letting Happy go home in the comfort of the private jet meant that his friend would calm down some and that Tony was finally getting some unsupervised time with Peter. Ever since waking up from the nightmare that morning Tony had been left feeling a bit shaken, but having Peter around was helping and making things better probably due to how amazed Peter was by everything.

The whole drive to the airport, Tony had spent it watching Peter and enjoying how he just stared out the window. It almost made Tony wish that they were staying there a bit longer so he could really show Peter all the sights. He promised himself that one day in the future they would do it and it wouldn’t just be Berlin. It would be anywhere that Peter even had the slightest interest in.

Peter had been amazed when first getting onto the quinjet, too. His eyes had traced everything and his hands twitched to touch things. Tony had loved every second of it. Peter was just -- he was so new to everything.  

“This is amazing,” Peter had said at one point. “I just can’t believe it. And it’s super fast, right? Like, faster than normal planes?”

“Yes,” Tony said.

“So cool,” Peter said in a low tone.

The excitement faded eventually after he’d gotten to explore the whole thing including all the different weapon compartments and gear. Eventually he just settled down in the seat next to Tony up at the front where he curled up and fell asleep halfway back to New York. It was in that moment, watching Peter’s eyes flutter close and the peaceful way that Peter slept that Tony knew that he had to tell him. He had to tell him because Tony knew what a secret could do. He had experienced first hand how a secret could be used against you and the last thing he wanted was for this one to get out of hand and bring along a rift between him and Peter or Peter and May.

So, while Peter slept, he wrote to May and he felt justified in saying that he had made the decision. It was like all those times that May and Ben had made the decisions without his say. This time it was his turn. Peter shifted in his sleep and hair fell over his forehead. He was just so young and in many ways innocent. Tony didn’t want to change a thing about him.

Chapter Forty Eight

[ouraidengray4]

Breakups Suck—Here are 6 Ways to Move On

Whether you've just pulled the plug on a relationship or your former paramour has ripped your broken, still-beating heart straight from your chest, mixed metaphors aren't helping the fact that breakups suuuuck.

It's amazing that for all the dating books and apps out there, there are so few guides for what to do when things don't work out. But know that you're not alone in wondering how to get over an ex and move on with your life—and this can be your place to begin.

1. Don't avoid the grieving process.

It's totally normal to feel like someone died when you're getting over a very meaningful romantic relationship. When she discusses breakup recovery, Fran Walfish, Psy.D., a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, even refers to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's famous five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. That's why Walfish suggests you deal with the pain head-on.

EDITOR'S PICK

"If you distract yourself, you're feeding the denial, and that's not helpful," Walfish says. "Allow yourself to feel anything genuine that comes up and do not censor."

There's also real value in allowing yourself those good, long crying jags. "Tears contain cortisol, so when you cry, you really are literally getting it out," says Chloe Carmichael, Psy.D., author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.

2. Relieve your pain.

Although it may sound odd, relationship pain isn't just metaphorical—you may be able to treat it as you would a physical ache.

"I've seen some studies that have shown that taking Tylenol in the early stages can help because some of the same pain receptors that are activated by physical pain can also be activated by the emotional kind," Carmichael says.

Massage, which has also been shown to reduce levels of that stress hormone cortisol, is another way to potentially ease your pain. "One thing that we miss when we go through a breakup is being touched and held, having this positive human contact," Carmichael says. "A massage isn't the same as a romantic experience, but it is a positive, intimate, compassionate form of touch that can really help people."

3. Reach out to friends and family.

Besides just listening to you cry (and rage) about your ex, the right people can do two things for you at this crucial period: Keep you company and—after the first wave of grief—distract you from your ex.

Carmichael suggests you tell your friends what's up and ask them to help you out by having someone come around every day of the week (or whatever amount of people-time is comfortable for you).

"I've even had clients who wanted to have a friend stay over with them for a night or two, especially if they were going through a breakup with someone they used to live with," she says. But make sure these are people who will add some positive energy to your life, Carmichael says—the last thing you need is someone who might bring you down further.

"Gravitate toward people who will just listen compassionately without telling you what to do," Walfish says. You may be surprised to find that you don't need to avoid your friends who are coupled up, however. "A lot of happily married couples will take you under their wing, invite you as a third, and won't care that you don't have a fourth partner."

If revealing your vulnerabilities to friends is hard, or if you're concerned that this breakup is part of a pattern, therapy may be a good alternative to see you through this period. "You might give yourself a safe and supportive space that doesn't carry any other emotional baggage with it by seeing a professional," Carmichael says.

4. Unfriend the ex.

It can be particularly tricky to get over someone you work with and still have to see every day, or someone whose friend group overlaps with your own.

EDITOR'S PICK

"It's almost like a dieter who is working in a bakery—it's very tempting," Carmichael says. But it's up to you to remove yourself from that temptation in the most polite way possible. Explain to your ex that, though you like and respect them, you will be doing your best to be distant and cordial. You can say, "Since we can't be together, I need to try to have some really strong boundaries."

That goes for social media too. If you're trying to get over someone you love, you don't need all of your devices bringing their name and face to the forefront of your brain all day long. Don't let the fear of offending your ex stop you from hitting "unfriend."

Explain to your ex that, though you like and respect them, you will be doing your best to be distant and cordial.

"You can send a note explaining that this is not anything hostile; in fact, you like the person very much, and this is just helpful for you as you try to move forward," Carmichael says.

5. Distract yourself.

After a period of grief, you can try to be proactive about digging yourself out of those wallowing depths and living life as though you don't care about the ex—even if you do (and of course you do).

"Go to movies, dinners, restaurants, theater, museums, go to the spa, get out of your environment, go on vacations," Walfish advises. Not only does this get you unstuck from your rut, but it also sets you up for the next step "because you're more desirable when you're busy, and you have a lot going for you."

As much as heartbreak might turn you into a champion binge-watcher, you can also try to get up and do things while bingeing on audiobooks and podcasts. "An audiobook can actually help you to feel less alone, and you can have a positive message running in the background, even if you're not paying super-close attention to it," Carmichael says.

6. Find your rebound.

While "rebound" can sound like a pejorative term, we all know someone who found epic love right after a breakup. (Raises hand.) Whether you're truly looking for the next candidate or not, Carmichael says there is value to putting your profile back up on dating sites.

"There's nothing wrong with setting up a profile and starting to accrue the attention of some other people who might be noticing you," she says. "There's no law that says you have to respond to people right away. Being on a dating site can make you feel better about yourself and reminds you of the reality, which is that there's a whole big world out there full of people who would like to meet you."

When you are ready to jump back into the game—either for a fling or something deeper—be as self-aware as possible. Walfish warns: "I think it's wise to take your time and choose wisely and carefully. It decreases the chances of repeating the same mistakes that got you in trouble the first time."

Exactly how long does it take to get over someone?

Don't stress out about reaching some sort of time limit on this. There is no right answer.

"It's so different for everyone," Walfish says. "It depends how much of your heart and soul you gave and how long it takes you to heal. I don't think the answer is easy or tangible. You just have to know yourself well."

Sabrina Rojas Weiss lives in Brooklyn, surrounded by her fellow freelance writers and competitive stroller-pushers. Follow her on Twitter @shalapitcher.

from Greatist RSS https://ift.tt/2JtNyDh Breakups Suck—Here are 6 Ways to Move On Greatist RSS from HEALTH BUZZ https://ift.tt/2Nm1W32