#temari is VALID for not knowing how to use a rice cooker bc NEITHER DO I

[eeveleon]

culinary catastrophes

this ran long on accident lol finally almost done!! day 6: pudding - sweet/salty pudding

Read here on AO3

Shikamaru slipped inside the door to his second floor apartment just in time. He could already hear the rain start to pound at the walls. 

“I’m home.” He called, as he dropped to the step and began to pull off his sandals.

He heard movement further in the apartment, but no response, so he continued. “Sorry I didn’t pick up any food, my meetings ran late and then it started to rain...” He shrugged off his damp vest, laying it out to dry. “Let me shower really quick and then we can figure out something for dinner. What do you think?”

After being met once again with more silence, Shikamaru leaned back to look past the wall. “Temari? Are you here?”

“No! I’m busy!”

Shikamaru frowned at the odd answer. He heaved a sigh and got to his feet, heading to see what was wrong with his fiancée.

He stopped still in the entryway to the kitchen, his mind racing to understand the sight before him.

Temari, covered in a white powder, juggled two spatulas and a small pan in her hands as she raced back and forth from counter to stove to counter. A couple pots sat in a sink overflowing with bubbles, there were small thin shreds of what was either cabbage or grass littering the floor, and though the stove was off, something smelled like it was burning. 

“...What are you doing?”

While that could have been considered a stupid question by a man regularly hailed as a genius, Shikamaru felt it appropriate (and essential for his safety) to approach carefully. The knife drawer was only inches from her. 

His fiancée finally turned to look at him, her face flushed as she avoided his gaze shyly, and rather cutely, he noticed. She was wearing an apron so stained that he wasn’t even sure what color it was supposed to be - really, he didn’t know they owned an apron.

When it became obvious that she was not going to confess to anything, he decided to go first. “Are you... cooking dinner?”

Shikamaru was very much in love with Temari, and that meant loving and accepting all her strengths (of which there were many) and her flaws (which, much to her disdain, did exist). Cooking was one of those such skills that Temari did not have. 

He took a slow step closer, like he would with his deer, attempting to see what exactly was cooking - burning? - on the stove. Unfortunately, that was too much for Temari, and she threw her hands up, yelling as she herded him back out of the kitchen. “Go! Don’t come in here!”

“Oi, c’mon, let me just see-”

“No, no! There’s no need. Let’s go out to eat. You know that new place that just opened next to the command office? I heard they have good tempura. Let’s eat there!”

Shikamaru shook his head at her blatant effort to get him out. He grabbed her wrists and interrupted her long-winded speech about tempura. “You went to all the effort of cooking, can’t I at least try it?” He asked. 

“Oh- this is all your fault!” Her entire face was red now. “I knew I should have stuck to a simple stew - that I know how to make. But no, I had to go and follow a stupid Konoha recipe!” She swung her arms around passionately, even stomping her foot for emphasis. 

It took all his willpower not to laugh.

“I followed everything Choji and your mother said,” Temari started to rant. “Went to the market before work so I could find what I needed, even convinced the Hokage to keep you late so I would have extra time to cook-”

“Wow.”

“-I don’t even know where it went wrong. It was going okay then suddenly, everything was burning!” She groaned loudly and pressed her face into her hands. “I can’t believe- supposed to be so easy...”

Shikamaru grew alarmed as her emotions took a turn for the negative. “Hey, hey, Tema.” He moved her hands away, cupping her cheeks. “Don’t be like that. Look, I’m sure you’re overstating how bad it is. It smells perfectly fine, so if you’d just let me see it, we can finally eat dinner.” He shook some of the white stuff out of her hair. “What is this, flour? Did you bake something too?”

“Cornstarch.” She mumbled. “And that’s not important.”

Temari pulled away, straightening her shoulders. “Fine,” she said, her voice firmer and back to it’s usual pitch. “All you can do is see. Just come here and get this over with, then we can go out and eat some real food.”

She led him over to the stove, where a couple pots and pans remained. “It’s fish with soy sauce, boiled rice, and spinach salad.” Temari pointed as she explained. “Since it’s practically impossible to screw up a salad, you can eat that, I guess. And the rice isn’t perfect, but the entire first attempt ended up in the sink, so whatever.”

He shrugged. “Looks okay. Though, why didn’t you use the rice cooker?”

Her eyes darted away. “I couldn’t figure it out.” She muttered. “Stupid thing.”

Shikamaru snorted, but thought it wise not to say anything else. Honestly, the food really seemed alright to him. He’d had much worse meals while on Team Ten. Choji was an amazing chef now - not so much at age twelve. 

“Well? Had enough time yet?” Temari asked with some irritation, her limited patience coming to an end. “Let’s go already, the restaurant will close soon.”

“Nah, it’s too troublesome to go out in the rain. I’d rather eat at home.” He said, glancing over to get her reaction.

“What!” She gaped. “Did you even listen to a word I just said, you idiot. What are you smiling for?! I told you we’re not eating this- this-!”

“My fiancée made dinner for me.” Shikamaru interrupted, still very much smiling. “Of course I’m going to eat it.”

That put a stop to her argument, while also making her blush again as a nice bonus. Temari turned around and started to take out plates and bowls from the cupboard, muttering under her breath. “Fine. Don’t come crying to me when you have a stomachache, crybaby.”

They sat down at the dining table, Temari still staring at the food warily.

“I’m sure it’s fine, Temari.” Shikamaru rolled his eyes, then started to eat. 

The fish was overly crispy on one side, but the top half seemed to be cooked evenly, if not a little over-salted. The rice had stuck to the bottom of the pot, and was more sticky than normal, but again, not inedible. The spinach salad was great. Shikamaru had always liked a side of greens, and he mentioned so to Temari.

It was her turn to roll her eyes. “We are not living off of salad for the rest of our life, Shikamaru.”

The rest of their dinner was uneventful. While Temari did throw in a few complaints here and there, Shikamaru was too elated to pretend it was troublesome. The idea of his fiancée doing something she didn't particularly like for him made his heart jump around. They had only been officially living together in the apartment for a couple months, but tonight made him look forward to the many nights to come. 

He got up to help clean the dishes, but Temari ushered him back to his seat before taking something out of the refrigerator. She placed a small tray in front of him. “I also made dessert.” Temari admitted unenthusiastically. 

She pulled off the cloth to reveal two cups of pudding. Shikamaru was moved by her thoughtfulness - he hardly ever ate rich desserts, unlike Temari, who had a well-known sweet tooth, but she still made a dessert that would suit his tastes more. Yes, it was a little chunkier than it was supposed to be, but that was besides the point. Temari looked a little nervous as he started to eat it. “Tell me how it is, I’m too full to try it.”

Shikamaru swallowed, mulling over the taste. “It’s... salty.” Seeing her stricken face, he was quick to add. “Not too salty! I don’t like sweets anyway-”

Completely ignoring him, Temari grabbed the spoon out of his hands and took a taste for herself. Her mouth immediately turned down into a sour scowl. “This is a bad amount of salt. Shikamaru! You were supposed to be honest!”

“What does it matter, Temari, neither of us eat pudding, I don’t like desserts, and you only ever want dango.”

“And what if we have guests, like your mother? What am I supposed to serve her, salad?! She’s going to think I’m insane - because I am! What am I thinking? We should just hire a cook. Do you think Choji would do it? I can pay him-!”

Shikamaru tuned out her third tirade of the night, slowly digging into his cup of pudding. He smiled to himself. He would eat anything Temari made for him, no matter what or how it was, with no complaints.

He crunched on an eggshell. Well, minimum complaints.