#tell that to the plummeting Starbucks shares

[thewolvesof1998]

I’m not going to debate cancel culture but in it’s most basic form its about holding people accountable for their actions and words.

Noah is a proud Zionist who has shown GLEE in the fact that innocent people are being killed, are being genocided. There is proof of this. This a fact. Which means it can’t be defamation. Also his PR team sucks if that’s the best statement they could come up with for him.

I’m sorry people are trying to hold him accountable in the only way they can with a public figure by saying their not going to watch anything he’s in. And from the videos I’ve seen thousands of people are listening to the ‘cancel him’ -as you call it- hysteria (I’m not going to even get into your choice of language here or with ‘angry mob’ but it’s real telling).

And the whole comparing it to Taylor Swift- like you said it was made up/exaggerated the reasons why to “cancelled” her where as the stuff with Noah is real, there’s proof of his Zionist beliefs and support of Israel as they GENOCIDE people. Like what the actual fuck was your point with this.

Anyways enough time spent on that Zionist asshole.

Free Palestine. Stop the Genocide. Hold everyone responsible for these murders accountable in anyway possible. Boycott, cancel, bring awareness.

Bisan has called for a global strike week from the 21st-28th of January- boycott work, school, business, raise awareness, call for a ceasefire - whatever you can afford to do.

Also just because some people are terrible people I will clarify being against Zionism and what the Israeli govt and military and it’s supporters are doing is NOT antisemitic. And if you decided to use anti-Zionism as an excuse to attack and harm Jewish people, you are the problem.

Do people realize that cancel culture is so fucking stupid and no one takes it seriously? For fucks sake even Taylor Swift got cancelled. People made up a bunch of lies about her and harassed her relentlessly too. And then she went on to sell out her Reputation tour shortly afterward. Years later she's one of the most popular, respected artists in the world. Noah will come back from this. Because no one likes any of the people behaving like this. If they weren't so chronically online they would realize this. He has a good PR team and the only reason he needs one at all is because of these assholes. I seriously hope he sues some of them for defamation. No one is listening to their CANCEL HIM hysteria. They are an angry mob and no one respects an angry mob. These people have no power.

[smokeybrand]

The Rising Tide Raises All Ships

I don't understand people who are so ardently against social systems. Like, it's pulling eye-teeth just to have what little we do. I can't tell you how many f*cking time some MAGA cultist attacks food stamps or welfare like it's the worst thing ever but it's like, the ones who abuse it like you say, look like you. They don't look like me. There's always bad actors in any system, but if the majority carries on the way they should, then that system should function regardless. We know it can because it's being executed in real time, all over the world. There's a reason why the happiest places on earth, have the most expansive social welfare systems. Its fine to drive capitalism, no one's telling you not to work hard, but if we expanded those processes, everyone benefits. If everyone contributes a little more to the pool, all of our boats rise with the tide. I mean, seriously, if 2020 has taught us anything, it's that the systems we have in pace right now, don't work. They are easily exploited, easily manipulated, and completely counter intuitive to living life. There is a literal f*cking plague going on and our president is forcing people back to work and kids back to class because the economy. If that don't scream broke and needs fixing, I don't what does.

Free Healthcare means no worries going to the doctor. Paper cut, baby delivery, broken bone, or f*cking cancer, there'd be no stressing over how to pay those ridiculous bills. They wouldn't be ridiculous. I think in Canada an ambulance ride is, like, $230 dollars, average, depending on circumstances. In some places, it's as low as $45 and others, as high as $385. The average here in the States is closer to $1200 f*cking dollars. For just the ambulance. That's not even beginning to address the hospital visit and hope you don't an extended stay. These mother*ckers gave me a bill for close to $50,000 for my two week stay the first time I almost died. Bro, there's no way I am ever going to pay that. The f*ck is you saying? I read an account of someone going to the emergency room in the Philippines and it cost her $15 dollars. To see the doctor. It would have been free but she's not a citizen. More than anything, universal healthcare would force Big Pharma to price their medications appropriately. There would have affordable prescriptions for everyone. When I left my job, I lot my insurance. When I checked prices on my meds, just a single prescription was $400 f*cking dollars for one month's worth. In Canada, that prescription would have been $15. The ill thing? The $400 dollar one was the cheapest I could find stateside. I take five medications for my heart. Uninsured, I'd be dropping close to $3800 a month, on sh*t I need to live. Who the f*ck has a loose $3800 when they have to pay that much in rent every month? Insulin is, like, $300 for 10 days worth here. In Canada, it's f*cking $30. Sh*t's even cheaper in Egypt. Small businesses wouldn't have to worry about employee healthcare or anything like that. If you have more than two employees, the cost you save in insurance coverage is more than enough to offset that tax increase. You'd be able to actually pay a more livable wage, while pocketing more profit at the same time. How is any of this bad? How can you spin this sh*t as a negative?

Free education means a more literate populace. We wouldn't have near as many Anti-Vaxxers and Flat Earthers. Motherf*ckers would understand the science of social distancing and mask wearing during a goddamn pandemic. I wouldn't be so f*cking mad having to dumb myself down just to interact with society. If we follow the Nordic system, you get your four years worth of education, graduate with a proper degree, and get placed into a position immediately out of college to tenure in your focus for the next four years. It's not an internship but a real job. You not only get a degree, but you immediately start earning a living in that field, while accumulating experience. Once you complete your four year employment obligation, you can continue your employment, start the process  over with a new major in mind, or you're free to travel abroad with four years experience and a BA in your pocket. Not only would the populace be more literate, more people would be employed thus stimulating the economy. Those that enter into science and engineering, would have to innovate in their fields for four years, minimum, so you'd have hungry minds creating the future, just like back in the day when “America was great” or whatever. More education, means more jobs, means a stronger economy, means less crime. Again, how is this a bad thing? You wouldn't even have to do away with private college or studying whatever you want. If there wasn't a free program to take advantage of, just pay for your classes. I'm sure there'd still be grants and scholarship and financial aid available for aspiring painters or wannabe film makers, or any number of vanity degrees. F*ck it, man, if you want to go to Harvard just for the clout, you can still totally do that. F*ck, dude, you can do it after getting your free degree even. Graduate school, bro. Motherf*cker can be making six figures paying that stupid, clout chasing, tuition out of pocket because you can afford it with the job you got with that free degree. That's the beauty of the Nordic system; Everyone gets what they want.

That's just the surface of these benefits. I'm not even going to go into what universal income, maternity leave, vacation time, strong unions, and subsidized child care. I'm not even going to touch on how prisons over there are built to rehabilitate, not to humiliate and effectively enslave. For Profit prisons are the modern plantations. Look that sh*t up. I'm not even going to go into detail about the benefits collective legalization for all drugs and how crime plummeted because of it, or how they treat addiction like a mental illness and not a criminal offense, or the way they house their homeless and treat them humanely, while transitioning them into society with counseling, job placement, and social work. All of this, for, maybe, an extra hundred or two a year. That's, what? An extra $30 a month out of your check? Less than $10 a f*cking week? That one trip to Starbucks. That's two Quarter-Pounders. That's nothing. How does that math not work? How do these universal benefits, not jive with everyone? How does this sh*t not make sense to people, when you can see it working the world over? The illest thing in this whole situations is the fact that we, as the US, have absolutely more than enough to implement this system, this type of social democracy which benefits everyone, if we just rearranged our budget. Admittedly, we couldn't just implement the healthcare out the box. I mean, we could, but that would entail getting motherf*ckers who make trillions, like Amazon, Facebook, and Tesla as well as Zuckerberg, Musk, and Bezos, to pay their fair share without circumventing said responsibilities Corporate Welfare is crippling the working American and people are too dumb to even pay attention to it, distracted by buzzwords like “communism” and “immigrant.” So we do the free education thing first. That's only $4 billion a year. I checked. That's pittance compared to the defense budget.

Motherf*ckers wouldn't even need to “tax the rich” or “hold them accountable” if we just cut the defense budget. We can keep pretending that trickle down works and that Wall Street works for us and not corporate gluttons and that Reaganomics works, and whatever else the conservatives want us all to believe. Whatever, right? The US spends $650 billion on defense. That is, quite literally, $400 billion more than the next country, China. The rest of the world, minus the US and China, spends a collective $831 billion. That's an average of less than $50 billion a year, worldwide. F*ck, if you add China back into that, it's still less than $65 billion a year. Did i mention that these are yearly budgets? And these are old numbers. My guy, we can afford to drop a few billion of that defense budget. We can probably skim $50 billion and enrich a lot of people's lives but we don't even need that much. Drop $4 billion off of that gratuitous $650 tril, and you can fund free education for everyone. Following the Nordic system, that means more jobs. That means more taxes. That means a better economy and more revenue to implement the universal health care, which would further lessen the burden of employers and employees, putting even more money back into everyone's pockets, which would grow the economy even more. Happy and secure people, spend more money. The only people this system hurts, are those hurting us with the current system. Are they literally too dumb and/or selfish to let go of a little extra and uplift all of us? How do you argue that math? No one loses but the people forcing you to lose right now, in real time. F*ck, man, 2020 has exposed this entire system and there are still people who will die for a country that won't even give you enough money to be safe during a whole ass plague and I don't understand that at all.

[artificialqueens]

Just the Game We're In- Chapter 9 (Ortega)

a/n: (snoop dogg voice) greetings, loved ones. mind in Mean Queens when there was that one chapter that was The Fuckening? this is that. i’m sorry. and as always i’m very sorry for the wait…but if u know me and u know this fic then ur probably used to it by now. thank u all so much for reading, especially my biggest cheerleaders, especially especially purecamp who proofread this and was subjected to the trauma first hand. HWFG

“Do you know,” Katya smiled, looking up from her monitor and catching the attention of the other girls in the department. “I think today’s going to be a really, really good day!”

Trixie groaned. Willam had to agree that Katya’s predictions generally did the opposite of what they were meant to do and instead worked like a bad curse- however she thought something would pan out, the opposite would generally happen. Willam could do without any bad omens today of all days, as it was particularly busy in DoSAC. However, she did also have every reason to be optimistic as she looked across the office and met eyes with Courtney, the other girl giving her a long-suffering roll of her eyes then laughing and blowing her a kiss.

The last month with Courtney had been better than Willam could ever have imagined. They were frantically busy, of course, with work, but they had always seemed to make time for each other. Courtney was forever enthusiastic about finding new restaurants for them to go and visit after a hectic day, and Willam always kept an eye out for nice little gifts or particularly beautiful bunches of flowers she could surprise Courtney with. True to their word, they hadn’t been particularly PDA at work, but Willam enjoyed the moments that they could show a tiny bit of affection. They would sometimes go and make everyone’s drinks order together, singing in ridiculous voices to whatever was playing on the kitchen radio. During one of Sharon’s meetings when Courtney was looking a little more stressed than usual Willam would reach out and curl her pinkie around Courtney’s own. If one of them was at the photocopier the other would find an excuse to be there too, hugging the other from behind. It had been a month to the day, Willam realised, since that evening at the party conference. Her skin prickled a bit. She’d never really managed to stay together with anyone for that long before- well, apart from uni- and that slightly terrified her. Which was why when it came to any intimacy beyond kissing, like taking Courtney back to her house after dinner, Willam had been going at a snail’s pace, if that snail had been stamped on underfoot and then eaten by a passing bird.

“Wow. You know, I’d never imagined you were the take-it-slow type at all,” Courtney had remarked after their last date, after Willam had cut her off during a particularly heavy kiss and had begun to panic.

“Well, you know,” Willam had blushed uncharacteristically. “When it’s someone you care about, you don’t want to fuck it up.”

She thought Courtney was probably fine with waiting. It was weird- an area of her life that Willam never had any issue with was fucking, and she didn’t really know why she was so nervous about it now. But if she was being honest with herself, she knew exactly the reason- it wasn’t as simple as just fucking, Courtney was the first person she had really, properly cared about since…well, since the last time. And even though she’d told Courtney how she felt about her, and they were together, part of her didn’t want to share this aspect of her with her yet unless it brought everything crashing down around her.

Willam knew it didn’t quite make sense. But it made sense to her, and besides, they would cross that bridge eventually. It was inevitable, and that didn’t scare Willam at all really.

Still, she hadn’t had time to think about the whole thing too much recently. Weeks and weeks at work had been building up to this day, and now it was finally here- tonight Sharon would be officially launching her policy to the press, meaning that it was going to be really happening, real party policy that Willam had helped get through parliament. It was exactly what Willam had come into the world of politics to do, make changes and change lives. She was proud of what they’d all achieved, and Sharon was on cloud 9 too.

Except, as the Secretary of State walked into the department in the comfy trainers she normally wore walking into work, she didn’t look ecstatic. Neither did her blonde-haired advisor slash girlfriend, who followed behind her with a scowl on her face and thunderous footsteps.

“Morning, everyone,” she said through gritted teeth. “Sorry I’m late, traffic was a bitch.”

Willam didn’t miss the way Sharon spat out the word bitch, giving a sideways glance at Alaska which the other girl glared at. Willam noticed that Alaska was carrying Sharon’s briefcases, which was odd- Courtney always carried Sharon’s bags, and sometimes Willam, but never Alaska.

“Oh! Sharon. You should’ve said you were downstairs, I would have got those for you,” Courtney said, a little perplexed herself as she gestured to the briefcases that Alaska had now dumped on the floor.

“No thank you Courtney, Alaska is perfectly capable of carrying a few briefcases. She does work for me after all, just like you,” Sharon grimaced, the cold tone to her words shocking even Willam. Noticing how her arrival had changed the atmosphere, Sharon gave a cough before she carried on. “Right, launch day! Meeting room in five.”

Everyone’s eyes were on Alaska, sensing the tension in the room. Her face was blank but with an undertone of severely pissed-off, her brow furrowed slightly in a scowl Willam could guess she didn’t know she was wearing.

“Aww, is Baby Alaska sad that she had to carry the Minister’s bags?” Adore teased from her desk.

“It’s about bloody time you took the briefcases for a change. I was beginning to think Sharon had favourites,” Jinkx chastised her friend without looking up. Alaska turned to her and rolled her eyes.

“Well, does anyone want a tea? I might as well while I’m here,” Alaska asked, her tone a little resigned. Immediately about four different orders were shouted over to her, so Willam rose from her desk.

“I’ll come with. Court, do you want anything?”

“No thanks, love,” she smiled back, attracting some playful comments from the comms girls. Ignoring them, Willam followed Alaska to the small kitchen, immediately bursting to ask her about the weird atmosphere between her and her girlfriend.

As soon as Alaska reached the kettle, she almost wrenched the lid off it as she filled it with water. Willam watched silently and raised her eyebrows.

“So um…everything okay with you and Sharon?”

Alaska thudded the kettle down and flicked the switch on it heavily. “We’re fine.”

Willam sucked some air in through her teeth. “Are you sure, because I’m detecting some weird vibes between you. And not the weird vibes you keep in your bedside table.”

“Willam, I’m not in the mood for your shit humour,” Alaska immediately snapped back, her shoulders falling straight afterwards as she assumed she’d hurt her friend. Truthfully, Willam couldn’t care less- she had a thick skin and comments that Alaska made out of hurt or anger or whatever the fuck she was feeling weren’t really going to affect her. Out of perhaps guilt, Alaska sighed and gently took some mugs out of the cupboard as her demeanour changed. “We’re okay. Thanks, Willam. We’re just…going through a rough patch.”

Willam wanted to know more, but she reasoned that she didn’t really have much of a place to ask about it. Helping Alaska and reaching for some teabags, she tentatively opened her mouth. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alaska wordlessly shook her head.

“Well, you know I’m here if you do.”

As Alaska looked over at Willam and gave her a small smile of gratitude, the kettle reached boiling point. Before Alaska could begin pouring the teas her work phone began to ring. She looked at the caller ID, frowned, then looked at Willam in a way Willam couldn’t quite describe. She seemed secretive.

“I have to take this. Two minutes,” she said, stepping out of the kitchen and heading off down the corridor. That struck Willam as odd- work was work, and a phone call was a phone call. She was always happy taking calls in front of Alaska or Courtney because it was for her job, and the girls were always the same with her. She couldn’t work out why it was different for Alaska this time.

Staring at the cups in front of her, Willam sighed.

“I guess this is my job now,” she said to herself quietly, filling them up with water.

A few minutes and a tea delivery to the comms girls later, Willam was entering the meeting room with two steaming hot cups (one for Courtney of course, even though she’d said she hadn’t wanted anything, and one for her). She was busy doing the press round-up for Sharon, but stopped abruptly when the tea was placed in front of her.

“You’re late,” Sharon addressed Willam sternly as she sat down.

“Sorry, I was too busy being the fucking barista at Starbucks. What have I missed?”

Courtney leant forward. “Well, obviously, most of the headlines are about the PM’s approval ratings absolutely pissing down the gutter.”

Willam nodded. In the past week, the polls had received quite the turnaround for Sharon, but the PM’s approval ratings had plummeted and nobody could quite tell why, least of all Bianca who, every time Willam had seen her in the past couple of days, had seemed close to a massive heart attack.

“Any headlines about new communities?” Willam asked hopefully.

“Luckily, yes,” Courtney continued. “Bianca is obviously overjoyed that our policy is a bit of governmental good news. The right wing papers, which is basically all of them, hate it, but at least if they’re writing about it they’re not writing about the PM.”

“Which is fucking great for me,” Sharon rolled her eyes sarcastically from the other end of the table.

“You’re being well received on Twitter, which is basically bigger than News 24 in this day and age, and you’re ahead of Phi Phi by 5% in the polls so you’ve got nothing to be annoyed about actually,” Alaska spoke up, her voice hard and cold and making everyone uncomfortable. Willam narrowed her eyes at her friend, then looked at Sharon who had her eyes boring into her desk and her head down. What the fuck had happened to make things like this?

“But at least the launch is tonight, right?” Willam cut in, before Sharon had a chance to talk back and make anything worse. “What we’ve all been working towards for what seems like years. You pleased?”

Sharon forced a smile, happy to be distracted by work. “I am glad, actually. I’m so happy to be doing something that actually fucking matters, you know?”

With that, the glass door to the meeting room opened and Jinkx appeared.

“Morning, Secretary of State,” Jinkx smiled briefly as she formally addressed the Minister. “I know you are very excited about this policy launch tonight, I mean, really, I know you all do have very stiff hard-ons about this-” Willam curled her lip in distaste. “-but you do have your BBC interview in about an hour so if you could possibly make sure you’re prepped and double-prepped for that, it would make my life roughly a thousand times easier.”

Sharon sighed, waving a hand and brushing Jinkx off as she slipped off the trainers and replaced them with her heels. “It’s fine, Jinkx, I’ve got the gist- make the policy outline rough enough so as not to confuse any panicky gibbering pensioners, make absolutely clear that we’re not going to make any Native Aryan Nazi dream children homeless to appease the I Heart Tommy Robinson bunch and praise the PM in the wake of this approval ratings fuck-up, so I’m…prepped. I’m fucking prepped.”

“Who actually is conducting this interview today? Is it a Gemini interview?” Courtney inquired, fixing Jinkx with a suspicious glare.

“No, Raja’s out in Calais doing correspondent stuff at the moment so she’s incommunicado for now.”

“Oh, so it’s Chi Chi DeVayne,” Willam concluded matter-of-factly. Jinkx gave a sort of foreboding murmur.

“Not exactly, no. It’s um, Brianna Cracker.”

The three advisors gave Jinkx a look of confusion, Sharon giving out a cry as she struggled to shove her foot into the other high heel.

“Who the hell is Brianna Cracker? I’m launching a fucking government policy Jinkx, not a fucking cheese factory!” she shouted with indignation, finally looking up at the other girls with her hair covering most of her face.

“She’s a new girl that the BBC have got in, doing a lot of featurettes and online stuff- and she seems very nice,” Jinkx pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, clearly annoyed that her best (the bare minimum) clearly hadn’t been good enough.

“Sunflowers are ‘very nice’, Jinkx, but talking to one doesn’t get you great media coverage, does it?” Alaska sighed in resignation.

“Probably gets you admitted to an institution,” Courtney rolled her eyes, Willam biting back a laugh over the fact that her dry humour was clearly rubbing off on her.

“Well luckily, she is not a sunflower, she is a journalist, and one that is going to give you a very lovely piece on the BBC website about this very lovely policy that you are launching tonight, so you can suck it up and deal with it,” Jinkx glared at each of the advisors in turn, her eyes finally coming to rest on Sharon. The Minister in question threw her hands up in defeat.

“Okay! Okay, Christ, well we’d better hope a clip gets shown on the lunchtime news or something, or I might just have to get off my tits on ketamine and go running through the Houses of Parliament with “NEW POLICY LAUNCH” smeared on my shirt in lipstick.”

“I assume that Bianca’s been in and left a brief or something? We haven’t seen her yet and the interview’s getting pretty close,” Willam frowned at Jinkx, concerned. The spin doctor normally visited Ministers before they had an interview with any news outlets just to double-check they knew their lines. Jinkx frowned back and shook her head.

“I’ve heard nothing from Bianca all morning.”

“Nothing from Bianca?!” Sharon cried incredulously, the other girls looking at Jinkx in horror. “Christ, perhaps she’s dead.”

“How can you have heard nothing from Bianca? The woman’s basically a walking talking telecommunications tower,” Alaska asked, wide-eyed. Jinkx gave a flippant shrug as if she wasn’t the least bit bothered as long as it gave her less work to do.

“Well, I have to just assume that there’s nothing that Bianca wants to discuss with me. Which is a bit like wandering into a lion enclosure and assuming they’ve just been fed,” Sharon reasoned, her voice tinged with dread.

“Am I free to go now? I am getting a lot of calls, considering there is a policy launch tonight?” Jinkx asked impatiently, lingering at the door.

“Yes, you’re free. Go resume your hectic schedule,” Sharon deadpanned sarcastically.

“Oh, Jinkx,” Courtney stopped her just before she made to leave, Jinkx’s shoulders slumping in disappointment. “How many journalists do we have confirmed for tonight?”

“We’ve got confirmed, four,” Jinkx said calmly. There was a chorus of disbelieving shouts in reply.

“FOUR? We’re launching new communities, for fuck’s sake, not a fucking death camp!” Sharon cried, her face completely outraged.

“Jinkx, get onto everyone, start fucking harassing everyone! Now!” Willam barked at her, staring at the carpet in disbelief as Jinkx hurried away.

“Four journalists? Jesus Christ. This is meant to be my pinnacle! I haven’t climbed up a mountain just to launch myself off the top!” Sharon ranted, holding her head in her hands.

“I’ll go and start ringing round too,” Alaska said decisively, still clearly wanting to make the situation better for her girlfriend despite whatever had happened.

“Yes, if you two could go and start doing that as well, that’d be a huge help. And Willam, can I have you in with me for the interview?”

Willam paused, a little thrown. Sharon usually took Alaska with her for interviews. “You want me with you for the interview?”

“Eh, if you can spare the time!” Sharon snapped at her, clearly annoyed.

“Fine,” Willam blinked back, shrugging.

“God, where’s Bianca when you need her? Four journalists?” Sharon hissed again as she sat at her desk and picked up her phone. “Let’s hope we get some more on board before this Camembert Ritz girl does the interview otherwise I may as well be whispering the policy into the ear of a dead tramp.”

***

Willam sat just out of view of the cameras and out of reach of the microphone. She nervously picked with a small corner of her notebook as she watched Sharon- calm, smiling at the camera, gesturing a little but not too much like they’d practiced (Bianca had once described Sharon in interviews as “a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra”). Sharon was doing well, but Willam was always tense during interviews as she knew how wrong they could go. Brianna Cracker seemed pleasant enough though, and was smiling a little as Sharon answered her questions. So far, it was a good interview, and Willam thought she was perhaps almost able to relax. Sharon had answered the questions about her policy fluently and easily, and now there were just a few more to go before they could finish up.

“This policy has been described as the legislation that’s sewing the party back together, but nobody could miss the tension between you and some of the newer ministers at the party conference. What’s morale like around parliament?”

Willam rolled her eyes. The media were still trying to drag up the party conference drama despite Sharon and Sasha being absolutely fine now, aside from a few small debates within the Commons. Knowing Sharon would handle the question well, Willam turned to look at a bookshelf with a loose screw.

“Obviously the Prime Minister has backed you on this policy, but surely you can’t ignore the most recent public polls- will there be people jumping ship in the coming months?” Brianna continued, Willam frowning at her deeply. Her smile which had once seemed easygoing now looked slightly scheming, and Willam prayed they wouldn’t have another Shangela Wadely situation on their hands- Brianna Cracker didn’t look like the type of person who was going to send flowers to Sharon’s door the next day apologising and thanking her for her LGBT representation.

“Look, everybody has a dip in opinion polls every so often- I had one a couple of months back-” Willam winced- error, she shouldn’t have reminded the media of that, “- but I recovered from it and pushed forward. The Prime Minister was elected for a reason, by the public, and they have complete trust in him and so do I.”

“So you wouldn’t like to see a female leader any time soon?” Brianna questioned, cocking an eyebrow thoughtfully. Sharon paused and turned to Willam, her face set in a grimace of pain. Willam understood why- Sharon was currently a strong face of feminism in the public eye and she didn’t want to undermine that, but she also couldn’t risk undermining the Prime Minister. Willam gave her an encouraging smile, knowing that Sharon would have the words to articulate herself properly.

“I mean at some point, yes, I would absolutely love there to be a female leader, but- but that point isn’t now,” Sharon began, nervously interrupting herself as she hastily explained what she meant. “Of course within society itself we are at the point where there should be female leaders, and eventually there should be a female PM, but I believe that our current Prime Minister is the best man for the job, and we should let him get on with that job!”

Brianna smiled, satisfied with the answer, which in turn made Willam release a breath she’d been holding. Relaxed, she fiddled with the loose screw. “With the upcoming by-election-”

“I’m so sorry,” Sharon suddenly interrupted, prompting Willam to look up at her sharply. Sharon was looking at her with a tentative face. “I said best man for the job. I should say best person.”

Willam blinked, thought a little, then frowned. “You’d have to be really PC to pick up on that.”

“I think I should change it- could we just go again?” Sharon addressed Brianna, who gave a comfortable gesture and asked the previous question again. Willam eyed Sharon as she gave much the same answer as last time.

“…eventually at some point, there should be a female leader, but I believe that our current PM is absolutely the best person for-”

Sharon’s final two words were cut off, however, as the bottom shelf of the bookcase suddenly clattered to the floor, its metal clang cutting through the room and making everyone jolt a little. Willam looked at the previously loose screw which was now lying on the floor.

Shit.

Sharon turned again to Brianna, smiling a slightly forced smile. “You did get that, right? Best person.”

“Oh, we got it. Don’t worry. Thanks so much for the interview Ms Needles, it was a pleasure,” Brianna smiled, reaching out a hand for Sharon to shake which she did. Willam saw her shoulders dropping, tension gone as she was happy the interview had gone well, and Willam supposed she could relax too.  

Coming out of the small meeting room that the interview had been set up in, Willam saw Courtney and Alaska perched waiting at their desks, eager for news of how it had gone.

“So? Smiles? Happiness?” Courtney began, a hopeful smile on her face.

“It went well!” Sharon replied, optimistic, then looked at Willam. “Didn’t it?”

Willam gave a shrug. “Seemed to. Back to prepping for tonight then? I still have about 90 leaflets to print. Although I should make that 4, shouldn’t I?”

“Shut up,” Sharon glowered at her, instantly annoyed at being reminded of Jinkx’s incompetence. They were both about to head back to their desks when a thunder of footsteps could be heard from down the corridor, as if someone was running full pelt, and a loud, out-of-breath gasping gradually added to the frantic noise too. Frowning, Willam took two steps forward towards the source of the noise when suddenly Bianca rounded the corner, her nostrils flared, a blaze burning in her eyes, and her face shiny with sweat.

“Morning, Bianca,” Jinkx greeted her lazily from her monitor, Bianca completely ignoring her as she stormed towards the two girls.

“I am going to fuck Three Mobile very rapidly and painfully up the arse with a rusty fucking poker, can you believe their fucking network is down?!” Bianca began, her voice a growl of frustration. “So I have been running around Westminster like a chicken with its fucking cock cut off delivering messages in person when a text could be fucking sufficient! I swear to Christ!”

“Yes, that does sound a bit…shit,” Willam hesitantly agreed with her, Bianca so angry that she was addressing Sharon and Willam as if they were personally responsible for the Three network. “Erm. Did you want to see us?”

Bianca widened her eyes incredulously at her. “No, I didn’t want to see you. I’ve just run all the way from Richmond Terrace to Dosac to stand in your department and helicopter my tits around- no, I didn’t come here to see you at all.”

Willam blinked back at her, well and truly clamped. Having made her point, Bianca looked at Sharon and carried on.

“I wanted to tell you to push back the BBC interview an hour so that I could come and brief you, but, having just seen Miz Baby-New-Potato Head herself Brianna Cracker exiting the building, I’m assuming I’m too fucking late.”

“You would be correct,” Sharon said, her face set in an apologetic frown. Bianca seethed and clenched a fist, then seemed to relax.

“Okay well, how did it go?”

“Good. We did all the policy launch stuff and the basic outline like you’d told me to in the past.”

“Well, that sounds uncomplicated enough,” Bianca gave a whisper of a shrug, Willam hoping that it signalled approval.

“She did ask me about the Prime Minister…” Sharon continued awkwardly.

“And?”

“I said he was the best man for the job.”

Bianca’s brow furrowed. “And?”

“Well I changed it to best person, but a bookshelf fell down and I don’t know if they got it.”

Bianca looked between Willam and Sharon, her face set in a look of disbelief. “A bookshelf fell down? What is this, a fucking Fawlty Towers episode?”

“I just didn’t know if they’d make something of it. Me saying best man, it might make people think I was implying I was the best woman?” Sharon bit her lip, a little worried. Bianca stood up and shook her head.

“Nothing will happen. You couldn’t interpret that as a leadership bid,” Bianca began, shaking her head quickly. “The media are already having a field day with the PM’s approval dropping and the by-election coming up, they won’t bring you into the mix as well.”

“But they might want to use this as ammunition against the PM?” Sharon insisted, her face growing panicked.

“Sharon, I wouldn’t worry,” Bianca frowned, standing up decisively.

“But Bianca-”

Turning around suddenly, Bianca snapped. “Okay, you want to know the real reason they won’t make something of this? You’re not leadership material. You’re too hot-headed and outspoken and you do too much talking and not enough listening.”

Sharon stood for a moment, her mouth open in shock. Remembering where she was and collecting herself slightly, she simply sniffed and shrugged. “Well. I’m not attempting to be leadership material anyway.”

“Right,” Bianca nodded sharply, turning on her heel and making to leave. “I’ll be back to brief you on PMQs at one, and obviously for your launch. Start working on your speech.”

As Bianca made her way down the office and turned the corner out of the department, the only noise that could be heard was the small murmur of the comms team as they answered phones and replied to emails. Courtney was looking at Sharon in shock from her place on the desk, and Willam wasn’t really sure what to say. Bianca was known for being harsh, but she’d never been this harsh with Sharon, at least not in front of Willam. As Willam turned to look at Alaska to gauge her reaction, the familiar iPhone ringtone sounded and Alaska slid off her desk, swiping across her phone and holding it to her ear as she hurried out of the department too.

“Are you okay, Sharon?” Courtney asked as she approached the Minister. “That was quite…a lot.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. I just…” Sharon trailed off, leaning on the frosted glass wall of her office and looking at the floor in disappointment. “I really thought I could be Prime Minister at some stage.”

“Did you?!” Willam asked, blinking in shock. She never knew that Sharon had ambitions like that at all. Sharon, for her part, looked at her incredulously.

“Yes! Didn’t you?”

Willam was taken aback at her accusing tone. “No, of course, I just never expected you to-”

“Okay, right,” the three girls were interrupted by Jinkx, who was standing up from her position on the other side of the room with an uncomfortable look on her face.

“What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve shat a sea urchin,” Willam questioned.

“The BBC have put it on their website.”

“Put what?” Sharon asked, crossing the office briskly to Jinkx’s computer.

“You saying that the PM is the best man for the job…and they’re saying that you’ve fired the starting pistol for an election?”

Sharon tore her hands through her hair as Willam’s heart sank. “No! I said best person, and the fucking bookcase fucking fell down!”

“This is bad,” Courtney said, frowning and biting her lip.

“What do we do? We can’t contact Bianca thanks to Three cunting Mobile,” Willam frowned, inspecting the video of the interview playing on Jinkx’s screen.

“Fucking BBC and their fucking new journalists, YOU said she was nice!!” Sharon exclaimed, pointing at Jinkx accusingly. “What kind of name is Brianna Cracker anyway, do people not think before naming their children?!”

“Apparently not, Sharon Needles,” Willam deadpanned, receiving a death glare in return.

“Kill it, just kill the whole thing. Just kill the BBC,” Sharon spat, clearly irritated by the whole situation.

“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do? Maybe making a fuss about it will make them think they’ve got something on us, something they can really run with,” Courtney frowned, offering her suggestion tentatively.

“Courtney, I appreciate the advice, but right now I want this shut down. The only thing I want my face associated with today is my policy launch, which is happening tonight by the way because everyone seems to have forgotten!” Sharon cried, turning on her heel and disappearing into her office.

Courtney and Willam looked at each other blankly.

“Poor Sharon,” Courtney sighed, looking at the glass door which had just been slammed behind her. “Tonight will be alright, won’t it?”

“Of course it will, you’ve been behind half the organisation,” Willam reassured her, slipping an arm around her waist and enjoying the fact that she could just be near her and do those kinds of things without her heart feeling as if it was about to give out. “If you were the captain of the Titanic I don’t think it would’ve hit that iceberg.”

“Aw, how romantic. And historically inaccurate,” Courtney smiled, tilting her head to the side and kissing Willam gently. Someone, possibly Violet, made retching noises in the background.

“Do us a favour and actually vomit. Then maybe we could send it to the fucking BBC,” Willam rolled her eyes in the general direction of the comms team, reluctantly pulling away from Courtney. “Right, I’m going to get those leaflets sorted.”

“Hey,” Courtney stopped her just as she’d walked a little way from the comms desks, a small smile on her face as she held Willam’s hand gently. “Happy month anniversary.”

Willam tried to prevent the massive dumb smile from spreading across her face, but it was impossible not to. “Happy month anniversary. Although that term is a wild contradiction, but still. The sentiment that counts, right?”

Courtney laughed softly, squeezing Willam’s hand in her own. “It’s just been…the best time. And you really mean a lot to me. Every day I think about how lucky I am to have you.”

Willam felt her face go red as she looked to the floor. She wasn’t one to get embarrassed easily, but Courtney had that effect on her.

“I always wake up so happy to know that I’m with you, and I love spending time with you, even if it’s just at work,” Courtney continued, her face suddenly becoming a mix of playful and reprimanding. “And I never thought I would be having this conversation at work, but someone hasn’t invited me back to their flat yet.”

That moment was defining, thought Willam. Standing there in the middle of work holding Courtney’s hand and hearing her say all these things served to remove some kind of mental barrier in her head. She made a decision.

“Well, tonight. After the policy launch. Come back to mine, we can get a takeaway and we can…see where we go from there,” Willam smiled, bringing her arms around Courtney again. Courtney’s face lit up.

“Oh Christ, you’re serious? Amazing. God, that’s embarrassing, I feel like a bloody teenager.”

“You’re never embarrassing,” Willam brushed a bit of hair out of her face, then gave Courtney a squeeze and stepped back. “But for now, policy launch shit needs doing.”

“I can think of something else that needs doing.”

Willam feigned shock. “Courtney Act, I should be hiring you out to Babestation for £5 a minute.”

As the two of them laughed, another barrier broke down in Willam’s head. If everything went well tonight, she decided she would do something that she had only ever done once before in her life. It was terrifying, but she wanted to take the risk even if it meant rejection.

She was going to ask Courtney to be her girlfriend.

As she smiled at Courtney returning to her desk and sat down, Alaska re-appeared from around the corner looking furtive.

“The wanderer returns,” Willam said under her breath, causing Alaska to come her way.

“What did I miss?”

“The BBC are gunning for Sharon. Which you would know,” Willam sighed and leant back in her chair, “if you weren’t dashing in and out of the department all the time to answer your phone. Alaska, are you going to tell me what the fuck’s going on?”

Alaska frowned and made to walk away. “It’s just Bianca.”

“Christ Alaska, if it’s an excuse, at least make it a good one. Bianca’s mobile provider is down.”

“Willam, it’s actually none of your business.”

“None of my bus- Alaska, I’m your friend!” Willam cried, trying her best to keep her voice down despite the anger pulsing through her. “I know you don’t need to tell me everything that goes on in your life, but I really don’t want this to be another secret I find out about by accident!”

“Then stop asking me,” Alaska sighed, her face seeming sad and plaintive before she turned and walked back to her desk.

Willam frowned as she clicked onto the leaflets. She had to get to the bottom of this strange behaviour from Alaska. If she was being honest and thinking back, Alaska had been behaving a little strangely since just before the party conference, shielding her phone, being a little bit jumpy. Then came the high school friend, or uni friend, or whatever the fuck it had been at the conference. Since then, her and Sharon hadn’t seemed quite right at all.

Willam thought. What if this friend was the reason something wasn’t right? What if this friend wasn’t a friend at all, but something more? Her heart sank. Surely Alaska would never do anything like that to Sharon. But she didn’t know. Maybe Alaska was so fed up of hiding their relationship from the public eye, and so angry at Sharon for not wanting to go public, that she decided to indulge in a secret of her own?

Looking onto her desk, she realised that Alaska had left her phone behind. As if it was fate, a text pinged up on her screen. Willam leant forward, careful not to pick up the phone, and took a closer look.

From Jeremy, 11.00am:  Fantastic, love. Obviously we can’t let anyone know until May but things are going so brilliantly just now. You’re amazing. See you at lunch x

Willam slowly leant back from Alaska’s phone and blinked, staring at nothing in particular.

This was bad.

This was really fucking bad.

Hundreds of questions began to fill Willam’s mind, but the main one was what the FUCK? She thought she’d known Alaska. She thought she was good enough of a friend to her that she could tell what her character was, what her morals were, what she might do and what she absolutely would never do. Something that Willam thought was beyond Alaska was anything to do with cheating, but now she just didn’t know. Or maybe Willam was interpreting things the wrong way, maybe the message had just been innocent? She shook her head. She was loath to read the text again, but she could remember key points: love, we can’t let anyone know, you’re amazing, and the stomach-churning “x” at the end. It would explain why Alaska had been running off to answer phone calls all day, although why he’d been phoning so frequently she didn’t know. All she knew was that she had to tell Sharon.

Or did she? Looking into Sharon’s office, she saw the woman visibly stressed, her fingers massaging her temples with a frown set deeply on her face. She had all this shit going on with the BBC, and her policy launch tonight. Did she really need this brought to her now? Willam bit her lip. If it was her in the same position, she would want to know. But it wasn’t her, it was Sharon, a very stressed and under-pressure Sharon, and Willam didn’t want to make her whole day worse. Besides, the naive part of Willam’s brain urged, she didn’t really have that much evidence, and it probably could be explained away easily.

She looked up as Alaska reappeared at her desk, obviously having realised she’d left her phone. Willam watched her as she picked it up, gave Willam a cursory, worried glance, and then hurried away with her phone close to her chest, her long acrylics tapping on the screen.

Yep. There was definitely a reasonable, innocent explanation to all of this.

***

If Willam had to pinpoint the moment that the day began to go downhill, it was the moment that Sharon stormed out of her office, the open door allowing the noise from outside to stream into the department. It sounded like a small crowd, all shouting and clamouring.

“There is a crowd outside of about ten journalists, and they are ALL here for me, and somehow I don’t think they want to talk about the policy launch tonight,” Sharon seethed, pointing dramatically to the windows.

“Ten?” Courtney repeated, looking to Willam nervously. Willam knew what she was trying to communicate.

“Ten constitutes a lockdown,” she said, Sharon staring at her incredulously. “Sorry Sharon. It’s Bianca’s rules, we go cold turkey on them, no phones, no emails, no exit, and they go away.”

��Fuck. I knew, I actually fucking said, that this would happen,” Courtney sighed despairingly, wrenching her department phone from its cable and slamming it on the desk.

“Can somebody get Bianca round here instantly before I have a fucking stroke,” Sharon breathed, appearing to be on the verge of a breakdown. Courtney was shouting to the comms team about the lockdown, the girls in response all groaning and shaking their heads. Willam smiled despite the situation- since they had got together Courtney seemed to have gained a bit more confidence than usual, and was actually shaping up to be fine leadership material if she ever had designs on that field.

She saw Alaska spring up from her desk on the other side of the room. Sharon followed her gaze.

“Alaska?” she called, but the other girl simply waved her away as, yet again, she ran out of the department to take a phone call.

Sharon was silent from her position beside Willam’s desk. Looking down and seeing that Willam’s eyes were already on her, she coughed. “She’s probably, um. Probably gone to phone Bianca.”

“Probably,” Willam agreed, then looked at Sharon again. She hadn’t been able to get anything out of Alaska, but she could maybe get somewhere with Sharon. Under her breath, she continued. “You two don’t really seem all sunshine and rainbows at the moment, everything okay?”

Sharon gave a heavy sigh, leaning forward on Willam’s desk. “We had a fucking monstrous row this morning. She wants to go public, I said no. She accused me of being ashamed of our relationship, I obviously told her in no uncertain terms how that was a steaming pile of cow shit,” Sharon folded her arms, looking down the corridor that Alaska had disappeared down. “She’s got a fucking cheek, to be honest, considering how weird she’s been acting all week.”

“Oh. Has she?” Willam played dumb. Sharon glared at the corridor.

“She’s been hiding her phone from me, going out for dinners with you allegedly- even though this Snap Chat thingy has a map that tells me where you and Courtney and people are, and you’re at home and she’s at The Ivy.”

Willam’s stomach tightened. Now would be the moment to mention things. But Sharon continued.

“I trust her. I do, I just. Things are hard. With the launch. And I really don’t have the time to think about or imagine worst case scenarios right now,” she exhaled, pushing herself off the desk. “So I’m just not thinking about it until everything is over. That’s not weird, is it? Am I being a total mug?”

Willam couldn’t help but give a snort. “Someone’s been watching too much Love Island.”

“That show is heterosexual trash and I won’t stand for it,” Sharon deadpanned, then looked at Willam in the eyes. “Seriously though, Willam. Am I being thick?”

Willam knew that she had to mention it. She had to say something now, otherwise she never would.

“Right!” Jinkx said from the other end of the office, breaking the hushed conversation in half and forcing both girls to look towards the head of comms. “I’ve got some good news, two pieces actually.”

“Well, we could certainly use some,” Courtney smiled tightly, inviging Jinkx to continue.

“Firstly, I’ve been able to get hold of Bianca through Number 10’s landline. She’s coming round so everyone just…gird your loins. Secondly,” she breathed in and looked at her laptop screen. “The Herald are backing Sharon’s leadership bid, because they admired the stance you took on the war on benefit claimants.”

Sharon’s jaw dropped. “Good news?? This is fucking catastrophically bad news!! No wonder Bianca’s coming over here, she probably wants to sever my head off!!”

“This is what you wanted though, right? I thought you had your sights set on leadership eventually?” Courtney offered, ever the optimist.

“But not now!! Not while the PM’s having a bloody ratings crisis and need support! Jesus scuttering Christ,” Sharon hissed, slamming her hands on Willam’s table and walking across the carpet to nowhere in particular. Willam didn’t miss Alaska re-appearing, sliding into her desk chair as if nothing had happened.

Sharon continued to pace around the office until Bianca arrived some minutes later, the look on her face reminding Willam of school when she was in serious trouble.

“Ah, Dosac,” Bianca began, her face set in a sarcastic smile. “Truly the Harry, Ron and Hermione of government departments. Why, why, fucking WHY is it always you?! The PM is as mad as a dickless dog, and he is particularly fucking furious with you, Sharon.”

“Bianca, please can we skip to the part where you mop up this mess for us, because currently the pavement outside my office is looking very splatty and comfortable and I just want to…fling myself at it with wild abandon,” Sharon sighed, rubbing her forehead.

“Calm down. I’ve got a plan,” Bianca said, her strong voice a welcome presence in the room. She turned around and addressed Jinkx. “Jinkx, I want you to get Sharon’s car outside.”

“My car?!”

“And Sharon, I just want you to pretend,” Bianca continued, “that you have a lunch, or a fake tan appointment, or some other fucking thing to attend to, and on your way out of the building, you address the journalists, and this is what you say.”

“Say?!” Sharon continued, her hand flying to her chest.

“You are not challenging the PM. You are not launching a leadership bid. The Prime Minister is the man to lead us for the foreseeable future. He is the man- of the moment! And then you just get in your car and, I don’t know, drive about a bit or attach a fucking hosepipe to the exhaust or whatever. Is that manageable?”

Sharon blinked, then rubbed her chin. “And you think it’ll make them all go away?”

“It’s worth a fucking try,” Bianca sighed, shaking her head. “But you need to give them something, Sharon, they know I’m in here because I had to fight through them with a fucking samurai sword to get in the bloody building.”

“Right,” Sharon said decisively, turning and running into her office to grab her bag. “Courtney, can I have you with me on this please?”

Courtney shot up from her desk and got herself ready. Alaska watched with detached interest from her own desk.

“Courtney, I need you on the phone with me throughout all of this,” Bianca addressed her, then shouted over to the comms team. “Can someone get the TV out?”

Willam felt a little overwhelmed. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly and she felt caught up in the momentum that Bianca’s idea was gathering.

“The man of the moment, the man of the moment, the man of the moment,” Sharon muttered to herself as she stormed down the department, Courtney running behind her and Bianca shouting encouragement after them both.

Willam, Alaska, Bianca and the comms girls immediately sat in front of the TV, which Adore had dutifully wheeled out, reminding Willam of primary school. Now, though, they weren’t about to settle down to watch a fun, educational programme about times tables- they were about to watch Sharon face the media, and the knot in Willam’s stomach only worsened as, through a BBC live stream, she saw Sharon appear through the revolving glass door. The press immediately hounded her for a statement.

“Miss Needles! Miss Needles. Does the Prime Minister have your backing?”

Sharon had that media-suitable smile on her face as she addressed the crowd. “Yes, the Prime Minister has my full support.”

“Miss Needles, does Alaska Thunder have your backing?”

And then the whole room froze.

Perhaps the TV screen had frozen but no, the journalists were still moving and shouting, but Sharon just stood completely still, her mouth hanging open, her face chalk white. Willam couldn’t look anywhere but the screen.

“I…what, sorry?”

“Alaska Thunder, your advisor? Are you backing her bid to be an MP?”

It was that moment that Willam turned her head to face Alaska, who was standing behind the sofa, fingers grasping the headboard for dear life, her face completely grave.

“I…don’t know anything about that, sorry,” Sharon continued, stuttering her words as she stood, confused, in the light of the cameras.

“Who are you backing, Miss Needles?”

Sharon momentarily let a look of irritation pass her face. “I’m backing the Prime Minister, he is absolutely the right man for the moment.”

Bianca exploded. “For the moment?! Courtney,” she addressed the other advisor on the phone. “get the dosy cow back up here, don’t let her get in the car!”

Willam couldn’t even process the blunder that Sharon had made. Her eyes were still trained on Alaska.

“Alaska,” she said quietly. “Who’s Jeremy?”

In the background on the news, she could hear Sharon repeating her mistake as she walked back into the department.

“Alaska.”

Alaska pushed herself off the headboard of the sofa and took a deep breath. Her voice was small as she began. “He’s my campaign manager. I was going to stand in the by-election for Westminster. Today I was going to find out if I had enough support.”

Willam let what seemed to be all the air out of her lungs at once.

“I, um. I hadn’t told Sharon.”

“Clearly,” Bianca frowned, looking at the TV and then at Alaska, Willam feeling a cold, prickling sense of dread overcoming her knowing that Bianca didn’t even know how bad this was going to be.

Five minutes of frosty silence later where the comms girls slinked awkwardly back to their desks, Sharon emerged and came charging towards the three of them. She targeted Bianca first.

“That was utterly fucking embarrassing, for fuck’s sake Bianca, why am I back up here?!”

“Can I just quote to you your own words? ‘The Prime Minister is the right man- FOR the moment’?” Bianca scowled, gesticulating wildly at Sharon, who had folded her arms in a defensive position.

“That was what you told me to fucking say!”

“OF the moment! I told you to say OF the moment! There is a huge fucking difference, and now it makes you look even more likely to form a fucking cabal!”

Ignoring the other woman’s wrath, Willam’s heart dropped as Sharon turned to face Alaska. She had a deeply hurt expression on her face.

“So! Alaska! Here’s the thing. Apparently you’re going to be an MP!” she began sarcastically, her mouth twisted in a smile that caused Alaska to look to the floor.

“I…didn’t want to tell you-”

“Oh no, no that was pretty fucking clear. So what was it, you were just going to tell me…when? When you were standing up there on the podium on election night? When?”

Willam watched as the whole department fell silent. Her eyes flickered to Bianca’s face. She could tell that she was beginning to see there was something going on.

“I wanted to tell you, I just-”

“Just what?! Just what, Alaska? Because from what I’ve experienced, when something major is happening in your life, you fucking tell your girlfriend about it!”

There was a small shift of movement and noise in the previously silent department. Two people had gasped. Like a horror movie, Willam found it impossible to look away to see who it had been, and she didn’t even want to look at Bianca’s face just now.

“Well you like keeping me a fucking secret so much, Sharon, so why aren’t I allowed one of my own?” Alaska yelled back, the two women openly shouting at each other now.

“What’s this really about, Alaska? Did you get bored of me? Have some fun with a cabinet minister, sleep your way to the top then once you gained enough power and influence you just sneak off into the night?” Sharon continued, her eyes slits as she glared at Alaska. Alaska, for her part, let out a bubble of a sob.

“You know what? Maybe I am bored of you, maybe I am bored of your self-centredness and your absolute dedication to work that involves shutting out other parts of your life, including me! You wouldn’t know this, Sharon, but every time I tried to bring up this MP shit the conversation would magically get sidetracked to you, to your policy launch, to your next interview, to how stressful things were for you, but never me! Never about my work! So why should I fucking bother?!”

“Christ, Alaska, well if you’re so unhappy, why don’t we just call it a day? Since you’re clearly this big, important rising political star! You don’t need me anymore!” Sharon spat, Willam wanting to do something, anything to calm them both down and steer the conversation away from where it was clearly heading.

“You know what, I don’t need you! I don’t fucking need you! I’ve never needed you!” Alaska shouted, tears openly flowing down her face as she sniffed again and again. “But if you let me go Sharon, you have fucking…done it, you have made a fucking mistake, you’re going to lose me for good, I swear to god.”

“What am I losing, Alaska, hm? An average fuck who makes a shit cup of tea who likes to fucking betray me and hang me out to dry at the drop of a hat? Wow, what a loss!” Sharon yelled back, and she had started to cry now, the black mascara tears running down her face. The two girls were in a knife fight, constantly lashing out and cutting and hurting one another whilst simultaneously mutilating themselves, and still Willam couldn’t look away. It was as if she was watching her friends fight through a dream, a nightmare, and perhaps she’d wake up, she had to wake up, this couldn’t be happening now.

“Fuck you,” Alaska spat quietly, her breath coming in shudders as tears rolled down her cheeks, and Sharon was a mirror image, raw emotion displayed on both their faces. “I loved you, Sharon.”

“And I loved you. But that’s politics, isn’t it?” Sharon gave a choked, angry laugh. “I loved you and you did all this behind my back, knowing how much it would undermine me and yet you still went ahead.”

“Well do you know what? Maybe this is for the best. Because now I see how much I really mean to you, compared to this job. I had always wanted to be an MP, and you can’t even support me in this? I thought I knew who you were,” Alaska cried, her voice a hoarse whisper in the silent department. “Now I see you’re just like like the rest of them, a fucking self-centred, vacuous, work-obsessed bitch!”

“Get out of my fucking department,” Sharon’s voice was low as she looked at the floor. “And get out of my life.”

And with that, Alaska gave a shuddering sob, letting her head hang as she walked quickly to her desk, scooped up her bag and coat, and ran out of the department just as Sharon had ordered her to. Nobody spoke, not even Bianca, and everyone watched as Sharon walked very slowly and deliberately to her office, making her way inside, grabbing the handle and slamming the door shut so loudly and forcefully that Willam could feel her blood vibrating.

Sharon’s sobs echoed through the building.

***

The rest of the afternoon and much of the evening leading up to the launch was something that could never normally be said of Dosac- it was quiet. Sharon stayed in her office and the mood around the department was somber, like that of a funeral. Alaska was notable by her absence, her computer still on in front of her desk chair as if she’d just popped out momentarily. Bianca had been in with Sharon and the two had spoken quietly, Willam assuming that Bianca had utilised some of her softer side as Sharon presumably told her everything that had gone on between her and Alaska for the past few months. After their meeting, Bianca had stayed in the department just in case anything further happened with the press. Eventually, Courtney rose from her seat and approached Willam’s desk.

“I thought it’d be nice if we maybe went and got Sharon some nice food and a coffee. She hasn’t eaten yet today and I feel like she could do with something after…everything,” she suggested.

So ten minutes later, Willam found herself waiting for a bento box in Itsu, while Courtney had popped out to Joe and The Juice to get Sharon a green smoothie.

“She’ll hate it,” she’d said by way of a momentary goodbye. “But it’s full of nutrients and she’ll need those. Oh, and get her a bottle of water. She’ll be all dehydrated from crying.”

Willam had done as she was told, and her order had just been called when Courtney arrived back from her smoothie-finding expedition.

“Ready to go? We should probably be getting back, the launch is in less than an hour. Although whether Sharon’s going to actually be able to do the launch, Christ knows,” Courtney bit her lip as Willam picked up the bag of sushi and they both walked out of the shop.

“Sharon’s made of tough stuff. She’ll be fine,” Willam said, although she would have been lying if she wasn’t doubting the words as they came out her mouth.

“I hope so. God, promise me we’ll never end up in an argument like that,” Courtney sighed, slipping a hand into Willam’s and making her feel warm despite the drizzling rain.

She laughed. “I don’t think you’re going to end up backstabbing and undermining me any time soon, Court.”

Courtney was silent for a moment and bit her lip. “Sharon said some shitty things, though.”

“She was angry, and I’m not saying it’s okay, but she won’t have meant it. Alaska, I think, is going to be deeply hurt. I’m worried about how they’re going to recover from this, you know how stubborn they both are.”

“I think they both think it’s completely over,” Courtney sighed, suddenly giving Willam a funny look. Pausing, her voice took on a different tone. “You knew, didn’t you? All this time. About them being together.”

Willam gave a brief and wordless nod. Courtney frowned.

“Why did you never tell me? I know I wasn’t your…with you, at that point,” Courtney corrected herself, making Willam’s heart leap a hurdle. “But I was still your friend. I was friends with the both of you. I know it would have been shit if it had got out, but still. I wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Willam said truthfully. She really did regret not telling Courtney. Who knew, things might have been different if she had known. Maybe they would have been closer, and got together sooner. Willam inwardly kicked herself for idealising the situation for her own advantage as they both stepped back into the department.

“It’s okay. Just…tell me shit,” Courtney gave a soft laugh that was only slightly hurt, which made Willam feel even worse. Before she could attempt to apologise again, Courtney changed the subject as they got into the lift. “Do you actually think she’ll do the launch, Willam?”

Willam frowned. “I don’t know, but we’ve got to hope so.”

As the lift reached their floor, the two girls walked across the quiet office and gave a gentle knock on Sharon’s office, where the blinds had been pulled down. A faint call of permission came from inside, and Willam pushed down on the handle and entered the room. It was dark, as the lights had been switched off, and Sharon sat at her desk staring blankly, unnervingly, into space. In front of her sat her phone, a ripped envelope, and a typed piece of paper. Willam was confused, realisation only dawning on her as Courtney began talking.

“We got you something to eat. I know you might not want it, but you’ll need it for your launch tonight,” Courtney set it down on Sharon’s desk with a kind smile.

“Court,” Willam began gently.

“It’s just a bento box and a smoothie, and there’s some water there if you want it. Just try and eat something, Sharon, it might make you feel better?”

“Courtney,” Willam sighed, taking two steps forward to the desk and picking up the piece of paper. “She’s not going to do the launch.”

As she saw Courtney give her a questioning glare in her peripheral vision, Willam read the words on the paper which confirmed what she had already thought was true.

I’l be waiting at the launch tonight!! Hope your excited to die you terorist sympithiser bitch 

Passing the paper to Courtney, Willam’s heart sank as she looked at Sharon. Sharon’s unblinking, glassy eyes finally met her own.

“Bianca’s sent a car for me, and a bodyguard. They’re taking me home, and the guard’s going to stay with me in my flat. I’m not doing the launch,” Sharon said quietly, disappointedly, before looking to Courtney and giving a sad smile. “Thanks, though. For the food.”

Willam couldn’t help but be a little surprised. “You’re really not going ahead with it?”

“Willam!” Courtney hissed at her.

“What? I’m just saying. You’re Sharon Needles, the political tour de force. Just last month you gave a speech to a room much bigger than tonight after getting one of these bullshit death threats, we know they’re full of hot air. I’m just wondering what makes tonight so different?”

Sharon gave a mirthless laugh. “I don’t give a fuck about the threats. Let them threaten me, whoever they are. But Alaska,” her voice gave a crack as she said the other girl’s name. “I can’t do…anything without Alaska.”

Willam stood quietly. She had had no idea that Sharon would have been that affected by what had happened, presuming that she was the sort of person who would maybe have a cry about it and move on. She had had no idea that Sharon’s love for Alaska was so deep. “I’m sorry, Sharon.”

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m better off, I’m sure. I’ll be fine,” Sharon said coldly, Willam knowing immediately that her tone was meant to mask her real feelings.

“Sharon, I’m sure she wants to make up,” Courtney consoled her.

“I’m not going to hear anything from her today. And probably never will hear anything from her again.”

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door. Bianca’s head appeared from behind the glass, her face grave.

“Your car’s ready,” she said simply, frowning as she looked back into the office. “But there’s a lot of press arriving. Didn’t Jinkx cancel everything?”

“Fuck, I didn’t get her to cancel. I haven’t left this office, Bianca,” Sharon said, rubbing her already very swollen and red eyes. Bianca frowned, obviously ready to shout at her and then deciding that it could probably wait until she wasn’t heartbroken.

“Well, we’ll need to go and cancel it now. But this isn’t going to look good. At all,” Bianca said tersely.

“I’m sorry that me breaking up with my girlfriend is causing an inconvenience to Westminster,” Sharon deadpanned humourlessly, leaning back in her chair. Bianca gave her a steely glare.

“The girlfriend that you should never have got involved with in the first place and that you were very, very fucking lucky never found its way into the press,” Bianca muttered quietly, as Sharon hung her head. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Right, well. That’s that then. I’ll go and tell Jinkx.”

Willam suddenly found her mouth opening before she could stop it. “I’ll launch it.”

The room seemed to buzz with silence. Sharon looked at Willam quizzically. Willam gave a shrug.

“It doesn’t technically need to be launched by Sharon. I know basically what it is, and could just explain it briefly. I know that Sharon would be conspicuous by her absence but it’s better than cancelling the whole thing.”

Sharon shook her head. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t, but I want to,” Willam said simply.

As soon as she glanced at Courtney and saw her looking at her proudly, she knew she’d made the best decision.

“Right. Okay then,” Bianca shrugged. “Well, we’ve not got long. Let’s get you miced up.”

The time passed very quickly after that, Willam thought, as she was rushed through a series of briefs from Bianca as Courtney spruced up her makeup and Sharon watched silently from her chair. It was crazy how much of a flurry everything was, and Willam wondered how Sharon could do this every day. She couldn’t help but think about Alaska; where she was now, what she might have been doing. She wondered if she was still going to go ahead with being an MP or whether she might ever patch things up with Sharon. Willam supposed that in any normal relationship that had lasted the length of hers and Sharon’s, things could have been repaired, but both the women were hot-headed, hot-tempered, and above all, stubborn. Willam caught Courtney’s eye as the other girl dashed back to her makeup bag to fetch something, and they shared a reassuring smile. Christ, she hoped nothing would ever go wrong between them.

Before long, Willam was standing at the door to a room which contained about twenty journalists, all phones-out and recorder-ready. Jinkx had explained that in the wake of the day’s events, she’d found it suddenly easy to get journalists to attend a Sharon Needles launch, many of them clearly hopeful that a leadership announcement would be forthcoming.

“Right. Okay. Guess I’m going to launch a policy that isn’t mine,” Willam took a shaky breath as she looked at Courtney, who was there for moral support. Courtney looked at her, her eyes soft, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“You’ll be amazing. I know you’re going to do it justice. Sharon would be proud of you. I’m proud of you,” she said, giving her a smile and a kiss on the cheek. Willam’s heart thrummed in her chest as she remembered the promise she’d made to herself, and that if everything went well tonight she would finally be able to call Courtney her girlfriend. It seemed too outrageous to ever be true, but Courtney was beside her, holding her hand and smiling, and so Willam felt that maybe she had every reason to be optimistic.

The journalists looked disappointed as Willam walked across to a small podium beside a slideshow, ready to begin. Courtney stood just outside of the room at the door, and gave Willam a big thumbs-up. With a quick glance to the first slide, which read “New Communities- Sharon is Caring”, and then to the audience, Willam began to speak without having really planned which words would come out.

“Um. Hi everyone. No need to stand, as I said to Sharon Needles earlier today,” she laughed awkwardly, receiving radio silence from the audience. “In all seriousness I should clarify that Sharon Needles has no intention of challenging the Prime Minister and fully supports his visions for the future. Incidentally, erm, Sharon’s not here, she’s come down with something and has had to go home, but we thought that we should still have everyone here to celebrate the launch of this policy that Ms. Needles has managed to create. It is really something special.”

Willam clicked onto the next slide which revealed a pie chart and lots of figures. Panicking slightly, she looked to Courtney, who gave her a blank glance. Willam had never seen this powerpoint before, and with a sinking feeling she realised that Sharon and Alaska must have worked on it together.

“Um. Not really sure what that’s meant to represent, but…it’s definitely something good. Unless it’s a reference to the current opposition. In which case…it’s bad.”

Willam’s blood gave a jolt as the journalists began to laugh. She was always confident, especially in situations like this, and she never gave a fuck what people thought, but now she was self-conscious. She clicked onto the next slide, which showed a run-down street in the baking sun, with a disillusioned-looking black family sitting on the pavement outside a crumbling house. Okay, thought Willam. Easy enough reference, obviously the refugees that we’re meant to be welcoming.

“New Communities will provide stable, safe homes for victims of war or drone strikes in countries such as Syria or Iraq. This is an illustration of how families can live in such countries-”

The journalists were laughing again. Willam stopped abruptly and looked at Courtney, wide-eyed. Courtney motioned frantically to her phone. Willam immediately checked hers from under the podium.

C: TOWER HAMLETS!!!!!!!

C: IN LONDON!!!!!!!!

Willam’s stomach dropped. She needed out of the situation quickly.

“Anyway, all the literature is there on the tables at the back, help yourself to crisps and-”

Another murmur from the journalists made Willam stop, but this time they weren’t concerned with her. They were looking at the door. Willam followed their eyes and to her surprise she saw Sharon standing in the doorframe, her outfit immaculate and crumple-free, her makeup pristine, and a wide smile on her face which didn’t look the least bit fake. A tall, broad man in a suit stood beside her, clearly her newly-appointed bodyguard. As Willam met her eyes, she noticed they were still puffy, but the redness had been taken away by concealer. Sharon raised her eyebrows at her expectantly. Willam turned back to the journalists and stuttered.

“And…here is Sharon Needles, to explain New Communities better than I ever could.”

With that, the audience clapped, and Sharon walked up to the podium quickly and confidently with her bodyguard following her like a shadow, her back straight and her head held high. Willam walked to stand beside Courtney, both their faces the picture of shock. As Sharon started speaking, Willam leaned in to Courtney.

“How the fuck-”

“I don’t know,” Courtney answered immediately, shaking her head. “But let’s hope it goes well. We’ll stay and watch this then go back to yours, right?”

Willam smiled and nodded, her heart immediately thumping quickly again, and was about to say something when Biana appeared in the doorway and took Willam’s arm.

“A word?”

Willam grimaced as she was led out the room. She immediately assumed she was about to be bollocked for the mess she’d made of the launch. But as Bianca led her into a small resource room, her face wasn’t particularly grave, which gave Willam hope.

“That was a very courageous thing to do, Willam. An advisor launching a cabinet minister’s policy.”

“Why is she out there? How is she out there? Bianca-”

“I just gave her a pep talk. Asked her if she really wanted Willam fucking Belli to be the face of her policy for years to come,” Bianca gave a smirk, Willam rolling her eyes.

“Was this an actual pep talk, or a launch-the-fucking-policy-before-I-replace-your-eyes-with-party-poppers pep talk?”

“Hey, I can be quite fucking motivational when I want to be,” Bianca chastised her, picking up a random pen from a shelf and fidgeting with it.

Willam frowned. “Bianca, there was another threat on her life.”

“Oh, come on Willam, do you not think I know that? Did you not see the fucking six foot man mountain Phil Mitchell wannabe I sent her in there with? Besides, she’ll be fine. Anyway, I’m not here to talk about Sharon,” Bianca’s eyes suddenly bore into Willam’s, Willam suddenly wondering if she was about to receive praise or censure. “I’m here to talk about you. You remember the jobs I was talking about at Number 10?”

“Yeah, of course,” she replied, wondering immediately where this was going. Her newly-optimistic brain was immediately hopeful.

“Well, I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I wanted to let you know you’re in the frame. The PM will be starting the selection process in a few weeks. We’ve been talking, and we’re both impressed by your skill set,” Bianca said, her face letting Willam know that nothing she was saying was a joke.

She could hardly believe it. “Jesus, Bianca, that’s amazing. Thank you. Seriously, thank you-”

“Although,” Bianca continued, her eyes narrowing. “You know how word gets round. Is it true you’ve shacked up with the blonde kangaroo herself out there?”

Willam’s blood froze, her heart suddenly hammering in her ears. “How the fuck did you know about that?”

“Well, when the whole of Dosac knows,” Bianca gave a small laugh. “Then obviously it was only a matter of time until I found out.”

Willam gave a sardonic snort. “So Alaska and Sharon kept their relationship a complete secret for about nine months but you instantly know about me and Court within one?!”

“So it is true!” Bianca smiled, happy to have confirmed what she had been suspecting. Willam swallowed.

“Well. We’re not ‘shacked up’ but yes, we’re seeing each other,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t betray how nervous she felt. Where the fuck was Bianca going here?

“That’s great. Lovely! And I’m happy for you both, I really am. It’s just…” Bianca trailed off, letting her gaze drop to the floor. “You know what it’s like at Number Ten. It gets busy, and stressful, and intense, and if we’re hiring somebody, we need to know, really know, that they’re committed to the job. That there’s not any distractions going on. If you know what I’m saying.”

Willam felt the panic rising in her head. At once, she saw the job, her job, the job she’d wanted in the building she’d wanted for so long, slipping away from her. “No, of course! I mean, of course not. Me and Courtney, it’s not…it’s not a serious thing, you know, it’s one of those things that’ll fizzle out after a while. I’m not…attached. Like that. I wouldn’t. You know, Court’s nice, but…it’s not like that, Bianca, it really isn’t, my job is my job and I’d…I’d do anything for that Number 10 job and I don’t give a fuck how desperate it sounds.”

“Well, I’m not asking you to get down on your knees and beg! Don’t shit yourself,” Bianca laughed. “But as long as I have your assurance that this isn’t a big long-term thing then?”

“Oh no, no. It’s…about as short term as it gets!” Willam gave an awkward laugh. She knew she was lying through her teeth, and she wondered how she’d deal with things when Bianca found out that her and Courtney were in fact serious and that they were about to become the girlfriend kind of serious, but she could cross that bridge when she was sitting at a desk in Downing Street.

“Good,” Bianca smiled briefly, before opening the door and exiting the cupboard. “See you tomorrow, Willam.”

Willam’s heart gave a leap. This was fucking incredible- she was going to ask Courtney to be her girlfriend, and she was in the running for a job at Number Ten. It was like all her lucky days had come at once. Instantly, she walked quickly back to the press conference to tell Courtney, but suddenly realised that it must have finished as she was talking to Bianca. She almost ran back to the department, her heart feeling as if it was about to take off as she ran up to Courtney who was busy pulling her coat on and getting ready to leave.

“Court! Court, I just spoke to Bianca, and she told me that I’m on the shortlist to work at Number Ten! Can you fucking believe it?!”

And then everything seemed to turn into a long, slow, painful violin glissando as Willam realised that Courtney was looking at her through the iciest stare that Willam had seen fixed on her in a long time, and Willam instantly knew what had happened.

The door to the resource room had been ajar.

“Courtney-” she began, instantly trying to make amends, but Courtney immediately jumped in in front of her.

“Well, I’m really glad you’re happy, Willam. The job clearly means a lot to you. I’m going home now,” she said, in a voice that made Willam’s blood run cold. She’d never heard Courtney talk like this, never in all her time of knowing her. But now that tone was being reserved for her, and it made Willam feel physically sick, fuck, why had she told Bianca such a stupid fucking lie?

“Court, please,” Willam tried again, Courtney simply looking at her emotionlessly. Willam found herself hoping to see tears in Courtney’s eyes, a clue that perhaps Courtney did still hold some affection towards her and that everything could be talked out and fixed, but her eyes were cold and hard and Willam felt all the optimism draining away from her body. “Everything I said was a big, massive fucking lie just so that I could get that job, nothing I said was true at all. I don’t know what you heard, but-”

“I heard enough,” Courtney said coldly, her voice seeming to be the only thing that Willam could hear in the room, even though she wasn’t talking particularly loudly. The comms girls continued to talk amongst themselves mere feet away. “Well, I don’t know, Willam, but it all seemed like pretty impassioned lying to me. I’m glad you can lie, I’m glad it comes so naturally to you. You’re clearly very good at it.”

Willam stood frozen to the spot. She couldn’t move. Courtney’s stare continued to freeze her whole body as she paused, then continued talking. “I remembered everything, Willam. The night of Alyssa Edwards’ ball? I remembered every single fucking thing. But you know why I pretended I’d forgotten? Because I thought you and me would have been a bad idea. Even though I’ve had feelings for you since longer than I can remember, by the way. But no, I thought we would have been a bad idea, so I ignored my feelings. I thought you maybe felt the same way, and then it turned out that you did, and I was so happy. But I was right, it wasn’t a good idea. Me and you. So, uh, I’m going home, as I said. And I think it’s best that we don’t continue seeing each other, don’t you? Keep things strictly professional. You’re good at that, Willam. You’re good at your job, I’m glad it makes you happy. So, I’ll, um. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Courtney grabbed her bag from on top of her desk and began to make her way past Willam. Willam, for her part, couldn’t find the words to say anything. What could she say? Anything she did say would have been completely useless, or would only make things worse. Just as she reached Willam, Courtney turned around, and Willam found her stupid heart hoping that maybe she’d take everything back, that she’d sigh and suggest a way they could fix things. Maybe that was the way forward.

“Court, we can fix this,” Willam felt herself saying, the words feeling cheap as soon as she’d said them. Courtney gave a slow, sarcastic smile that was filled with nothing but contempt.

“You know, I can’t believe I allowed myself to fa-” Courtney began, then trailed off as she looked to the floor, a flash of sadness crossing her face before she steadied herself and looked Willam in the eye again. “The only thing you’re going to be fixing anytime soon is the next election. Have a good night, Willam.”

Willam’s eyes stared into the same space Courtney had been as she left, her footsteps slowly retreating. Willam heard her shout a goodbye to the comms girls, a stark contrast of normality to the conversation that had just taken place. Willam blinked. She wasn’t a crier. She never cried. She was just really, really, really fucking upset, like someone had brutally forced a shard of glass through her ribcage. It dawned on her after a while that she must have been standing in that same spot beside Courtney’s desk for minutes. Suddenly, she was struck with a feeling of having no fucking idea of what to do.

So she did what she could do; she walked slowly over to her desk, pulled on her coat as if she was sleepwalking, then began to make her way to the lifts to go home. As she walked past the comms girls, she heard Katya’s voice drift through the department.

“Oh, fuck yes, I forgot I still had maltesers in this bag! I knew today was going to be a good day.”

As she left the department, Willam had an unbelievably powerful urge to turn the lights off behind her, to keep walking and never turn back, or to never stop.

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

small kaymeron things that give me life:

how they instantly start calling each other Cameron and Kay, no Mr. Black and Agent Daniels nonsense

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without my beautiful assistant”/”Don’t ever say that again”/”Yeah, nah, sounded weird coming out” aka the start of everybody shipping them and also, hey, he called her beautiful, and I’m trash

that soft moment at the ending of the pilot where they’re outside on the patio/balcony/roof/whatever, softly lit, and he tells her about Johnny and how he has to get him out and he’s soft and open and vulnerable and she’s instantly ready to go on that crusade with him

the dimples!!! on that man!!! when he smiles when Kay tells him she saw his special on TV and thought it was fantastic!!! fantastic!!! the way his whole face glows as he says “fantastic, wow,” because he’s so happy she liked it even tho he hardly knows the woman

the whole “we’re coming for you” over the phone with MW and the ridiculous hotness of these two standing together with their heads bent over the phone and the sheer dedication in their respective gazes

how Kay keeps telling Deakins time and time again that Cameron’s good and can do some real good with them

the look on Kay’s face when she watches him do magic tricks and interact with their witness kid, you just know her ovaries are kinda imploding then, and so were mine

“Who wants to lose their head?” *Kay grabs him* “Okay, point taken” and his fucking smirk, jesus fuck, the smirk on that man’s face is unholy and she knows it

Cam running and yelling her name even if it’s a staged act, because, come the fuck on, the intensity in that man??? have you noticed how fast he runs for a woman he hardly knows? come on, even the bad guys know these two are in for the long haul

the fact that Kay is always sitting/standing close to him at wrap-up parties and they somehow always find their way to some isolated corner of the Archive??? and drink just the two of them???

Kay telling Cameron about her sister and vowing to help him with his brother because she gets it

Kay being impressed at his goodness and how he always tries to help everybody when he sees it as being naive

them shaking hands and striking a deal to work together to find MW

that little frown Kay has every time she watches him do one of his deception tricks, half-worried, half-impressed

that small moment in the museum when she tells him about Caroline and she’s so soft and vulnerable and he listens to her stories and uh, throwback to the one time he did the same and she listened much??? this is the stuff of otp legends

“Don’t shoot, it’s me!” and Cam pouting because Kay’s not impressed with him

the proud smile on Kay’s face when Cameron saves Vivian from plummeting to her death, like she’s all like “THAT’S MY MAN RIGHT THERE, 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND”

“Grab your wand”/”I don’t have a wand, that’s, uh, a thing she does, that’s hilarious” *runs after Kay* “You’re hilarious Kay!”

Cameron beating himself up for ignoring Kay’s orders and getting Johnny’s hopes up and Kay jumping in to reassure him that they will catch MW

have I said anything about how they don’t know anything about personal space???

“is that your face on that pen?”

Kay constantly telling him he’s doing good whenever he beats himself down

the way Kay seems to own a key to the Archive because she just always pops in and out like she owns the place, and looks so at home there??

Kay giving him shit for lying to his ex and teasing him

the way Kay always marvels at his tricks until she admits magic - Cameron - is growing on her

how Kay slowly transitions to calling him Cam more and more

“He’s one of us - you called him a civilian, he’s one of us. If one of your guys went missing would you wait 24 hours?” the sheer intensity and protectiveness in that woman, dear lord, I fear for anyone stupid enough to try and keep Cameron away from her, insert Hozier here

Kay reassuring Jonathan that they’ll get Cameron back and thus showing him and us how much she cares about Cam

the utter sheer fear on Kay’s face during the whole vault scene, the way she clenches her fingers around Jordan’s shoulder upon watching Cam suffocate

how Cam ultimately refuses to help MW because he can’t bear betraying Kay after everything she’s done for him

the fact that Kay rode in the ambulance with him after he almost died!!! and they let us know in such a careless way but it means so much!!!

Kay being pissed at Cameron throughout the next episode because he scared the hell out of her by almost dying

Cam slow-clapping at Kay for her Oscar-worthy performance during their deception at the police station

“So, I think I've officially run out of ways to apologize. So I just. Are we good, you and I? I mean, or just close to, I mean, a little good?/ “I wasn't completely honest with you, either. I was mad, but I was also...seeing you almost suffocate in that vault, it really scared me. I'm not so good at being scared.”/”But you're scary all the time.”/”This was different.” HE WAS DIFFERENT.

“Cam, put the moon down”/”But it’s gonna be cool.”

Kay grinning at that goddamn dumb fajitas joke, she’s so in love

“Take your clothes off”/”What?” and that dumb dumbo doesn’t get why but still does it

“You know you don’t have to add “The amazing” every time you say your name” but come on we all know that’s gonna lead to some sexy times right?? right???

THE ENTIRETY OF EPISODE 11

like, okay. let’s be methodical about this: Cam knows her coffee order. But MOREOVER, he owns all the ingredients to make it. He bought fucking cinnamon for her, because let’s not even pretend that any single guy in his thirties would own cinnamon on his own. The Amazing Cameron Black™ went to the grocery store and bought cinnamon to make his future wife coffee. Because he doesn’t only know her coffee order as they wait in line at Starbucks, no, hell no. He actually makes her coffee for her.

 “You know me so well”/”I’m a good observer” and drinking their coffee in sync like the old married couple they are

actually, timeline wise, they’ve known each other for so little time and still he knows her so well?? be still, my heart

this exchange “So, when were you gonna tell me?” /”Tell you what?”/ “That you dated a super spy.”/ “I wasn't hiding it from you.”/ “I've replayed eight conversations we've had about exes in my head. And it could've come up easily in any one of them. What else are you not telling me?”/ “A lot.”/”Fair enough.“ uh, excuse me, they’ve had EIGHT conversations about exes??? just exactly how many nights do they spend drinking and talking late into the night sharing life stories like this??? Kay has a toothbrush at the Archive, I’m calling it. And has definitely slept in one of Cameron’s shirt before.

uh, let’s talk about how good of a guy Cameron is when he pushes Kay to go deal with her unfinished business with her ex because he wants her to be happy and he thinks Isaac is what makes her happy???

and how Johnny helps him realize he’s jealous but still, right before it hits him, Cam’s still saying “if she’s happy, I’m happy” because he wants her to be happy even if it’s not with him??? god, let me live

but also, let’s talk about Kay’s face when Cam asks her if she’s hungry and she thinks he’s gonna ask her out for dinner, that’s pure elation, girl was totes ready to go out with him

CAMERON RISKING HIS LIFE TO PROTECT HER

CAMERON TAKING A BULLET FOR HER

even Isaac seeing right through the “fake” confession of love and telling Kay that Cam did it for her

the whole scene with Kay coming to the Archive to see Cameron as he nurses a nasty bruise from the bullet

that boy’s face when Kay tells him Jonathan told her she wasn’t Cameron’s type, he has such a crush, but he goes beyond a crush, and he can’t tell her because he still thinks then that she’s into Isaac

“Isaac just felt like moving backward, I’d rather focus on the future.” WITH YOU. BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. That’s totes what Kay was thinking but not saying.

Cam thinking about how he couldn’t betray Kay even to save Johnny because she believed and trusted him

Kay saying again that she’d hunt him down if he did something illegal

“Kay, you’re amazing.”

“You shot me!” /”I shot her more.”

Both of them realizing that they still want to work together despite seemingly being done with Johnny’s investigation and having no more real, legit reason to work together again

“You know I expect front-row tickets to your big comeback show.” /”My show? Hmm. Of course. Yeah.”/ “When we started out, didn't you hate magic?”/ “It's grown on me.”/ “Mm. There's no reason I can't come and help out every now and then, right?”/ “I thought you were only working with the FBI to help Jonathan.”/ “It's grown on me.” OTP OTP OTP TAG RIGHT THERE.

“If Kay says she’ll protect you, she will” and the enamored look and smile she gives him when he says that????

how fucking gorgeous they look together in their party clothes at the consulate, like, goddamn, wow, why isn’t there more gifsets of them walking with linked arms and looking like sex on a stick

the happiness and giddiness at the wrap-up party, they’re goddamn leaning into each other, they look like a fucking couple I can’t

let’s not talk about the ending, it hurts, it hurts so fucking much, but the FEELS for fuck’s sake, the goddamn feels

[captainswanluver]

CS FF: The Trouble With Assuming

Summary: After Killian saves Emma’s life while climbing the beanstalk, he believes she owes him.  (Deleted scenes from 2x06 “Tallahassee)

Rating: G

Note: Here’s the full story I contributed to Volume 2 of the CS StoryBook. It contains deleted scenes from 2x06 “Tallahassee”.  As we say goodbye to CS, it’s nice to revisit how it all began!  Hope you enjoy it!

…The Trouble With Assuming: Part 1/1…

Emma and Hook had made it halfway up the beanstalk when she turned to him.

“I’m not the only one who’s an open book,” she said.

Hook cocked an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah.”

“Do tell,” he said.

“You didn’t recognize the look in my eye because you’d seen it in the Lost Boys.  You recognized it because you see it every time you look in the mirror.”

Killian stared at her for a long moment and then dropped his eyes.  "I haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.“

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.  You know what it feels like to be abandoned too.  It takes one to know one.”

Killian slowly bobbed his head and then finally shrugged in defeat.  "So you’ve found me out.  Congratulations.“

"Care to share?" she asked.

 "Not particularly."

 "It would explain a lot," she countered.

 He chuckled bitterly. "Ah, the pirate thing again."  Hook paused for a long moment and then sucked in a deep breath as he forced himself to meet her eyes. "My mother died when I was a young boy."

 "I'm sorry," she said, noticing a flicker of pain flash across his eyes.

 "My father was left to raise me and my older brother, Liam.  But he had been broken by my mother's death and he was lost.  He promised us we would sail the world and we set off on a ship. But when we woke, we found he had abandoned us to evade capture for crimes he had committed.  And he had sold us into slavery."

 Emma's eyes widened in shock.  She knew the story wouldn't be a pretty one, but she hadn't seen that ending coming.  

 "I'm really sorry you and your brother had to go through that.  No child should have to endure such a terrible thing."

 He cocked his head to the side, tightening his grip on the beanstalk, and shrugged his shoulders. "It was long ago."

 "Wounds like that don't heal quickly or easily. They linger.  I should know."

 Hook dropped his eyes again.  "Perhaps we should continue our climb while there is still daylight.  It will be growing dark soon."

 Emma opened her mouth to respond, but snapped it shut when he began to climb again.

 ...

 They climbed in silence until they had nearly reached the top.  Emma moved her foot to gain a foothold, but lost her balance and slipped.  She reached out to grab onto the beanstalk, but couldn't as she began to fall backwards.  

 Emma screamed and Hook’s movements froze at the sound of her voice.  His head whipped down, his eyes widening in fear as he saw Emma falling backwards, hands clawing desperately at the air.  He reacted quickly, bending back and stretching his left arm out toward her.  

 His hook suddenly appeared before her eyes and she quickly grasped it, clutching it for dear life.  

 "Hold on, love," Hook said, as he strained to hold her weight.  

 His face grew red and the veins in his neck began to bulge as he used all of his strength to pull her up.  She was finally able to grab onto the beanstalk and released his hook.

 Emma took a deep, calming breath.

 "Are you alright?" he asked.

 She refused to meet his concerned gaze and ignored the sincerity in his voice.

 "I'm fine.  I can take care of myself," she snapped.

 He chuckled. "Aye, that was rather apparent as you were plummeting to your certain death."

 "I would have found a way to save myself.  I always do," she countered.  

 "A thank you would have sufficed."

 He stared at her, waiting for such words, but none came.  Hook finally returned his attention to the beanstalk and continued the climb.

 ...

 Emma and Hook walked through the rooms filled with treasure.  His eyes lit up at every gold piece and jeweled bauble.  He would pause every so often to pocket a small piece.

 He found Emma staring at him as he stuffed a gold coin into the pocket of his vest.

 "What?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

 "Thank you," she replied so softly he almost didn't hear her.

 His eyebrows lifted and he cupped his hand to his ear, as he leaned in close to her. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I didn't hear that."

 Emma rolled her eyes and fought the smile that threatened her lips.

 "I said," she began, purposely speaking loudly, "thank you." Her voice lowered again as she met his gaze. "Thank you for saving my life, Hook."

 He shrugged.  "It's good form.  Plus, I assume you'll remember the gesture if I'm ever in need of your assistance in the future."

 Emma grinned.  "You know what they say about assuming."

 Hook tilted his head to the side, brow furrowing in confusion.  "No, what do they say?"

 Emma simply shook her head.  "Never mind."

 She began to walk away, when she felt his hand gently grip her elbow.  He turned her back towards him, as he leaned down close to her.  Emma felt her eyes gravitate to his lips and she wondered what it would feel like to kiss him.  He was so close she could smell the rum on his breath and the salt of his skin.

 "You know, love, accepting help is not a sign of weakness."

 "I'm used to doing things on my own.  Always have."

 "Aye, your steadfast independence is admirable, if not maddening.  I too value my independence, but I am no fool.  There are some things that cannot be done alone.  I have an entire crew on the Jolly Roger who is there to assist me.  There's nothing wrong with needing someone, Swan."

 Emma shrugged.  "Well, that would require me to trust others and that doesn't happen easily or quickly."

 He opened his mouth to respond, but she pulled away from him and turned on her heel.

 …

 Hook glanced over at Emma as they continued their quest for the compass after knocking out the giant.

 “I know you don’t wish to speak of it, Swan, but I do believe we made for an impressive team defeating the giant.”

 Emma threw him a sideways glance.  “I wouldn’t call forcing him into what amounts to a fancy naptime defeating him, Hook.”

 He shrugged. “Regardless, we worked together quite well.  I realize you’re loathe to admit it, but you need me, Emma.”

 Emma stopped in her tracks and turned to face him.  “I don’t need you.  I could do this all by myself if I had to.”

 Hook’s eyebrows danced upward. “Is that so?  And who would you have used as giant bait to distract him?”

 “I just would have found another way,” she said, turning back around and walking on.  

 Hook chuckled and nodded his head at her. “Oh you’re a stubborn lass, for sure.”

 ...

 They continued on in silence for a time, Hook pocketing more coins and jewels whenever he could.  

 “You know, Swan,” he began, causing her to turn toward him, “I’ve heard that in some lands, if someone saves your life, you are indebted to them for the remainder of yours or at least until you return the favor.”

 Emma laughed.  “Well, in my land, a sincere thank you is sufficient.  And maybe a nice thank you card or a fruit basket or a gift card to Starbucks.”

 “Starbucks?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.  

 “They sell coffee.”

 Hook’s eyes widened.  “In your land, saving someone’s life earns you nothing more than a beverage?”

 She shrugged.  “Well, it depends on how much the gift card is.  You might be able to get more than one.”

 Hook shook his head.  “I must say your land places little value on a life.”

 Emma raised an eyebrow.  He sighed and waved his hand.  “I know, Swan.  This coming from a pirate.”

 Emma tilted her head to the side as she eyed him.  “This may be a strange concept for someone who is concerned only for himself, but most people will help others without expecting anything in return.”

 Hook chuckled at that.  “A strange concept indeed.”

 Emma stifled a smile as she walked past him.  

 …

 Hook couldn’t stand the silence.  He was a rather verbose person, sometimes to his detriment.  

 “So this person that you may have been in love with once, how did he break your heart?” he suddenly asked.

 Emma stopped dead in her tracks.   She slowly spun around to face him.  She was taken aback by how close he suddenly was to her.  He had a habit of invading her personal space.  She took a step back.

 “Who said I got my heart broken?” she asked softly.

 His eyes scanned her face, as he closed the distance between them again.  “A broken heart always recognizes another,” he whispered.

 Emma dropped her eyes from his mesmerizing gaze.  “He betrayed me.  He wasn’t who I thought he was.���

 Hook nodded.  “Ah, I see.  You finally let yourself trust someone and he betrayed you.  That certainly explains the trust issues.”

 Emma forced herself to meet his eyes.  “Yeah, well, I was burned pretty badly.  Can you blame me?”

 He shook his head, his eyes focusing on her lips. “Not in the least.  I will say this though.  Whoever he was must have been a fool.”

 Emma stared at him for a long moment, then sucked in a breath and turned on her heel.

 …

 Emma could hear him screaming her name long after he was out of sight.  She didn’t want to feel guilty leaving him chained up on the beanstalk.  He was a pirate after all.  But she couldn’t help it.  She wanted to believe that maybe he was more than he seemed.   He had saved her life.  And he seemed to have an unnerving ability to read her.  She didn’t want to admit it, but she felt a connection to him.  She had from the start.  

 She thought back to what he said about saving her life.  Sure, she had helped free from the rocks that had fallen on him, but did that really make them even?  Maybe it wasn’t fair to leave him to fend for himself up here.  Still, he was a pirate and he had his own agenda.  She knew she couldn’t trust him, as much as she wanted to.  

 Emma had nearly reached the exit, when she felt her hand begin to throb.  She looked down at Hook’s scarf that he had wrapped around her wounded hand.  A smile pulled at her lips as she remembered how he had used his mouth to tie it and the way he had looked at her.  There was lust in his eyes for sure, but she couldn’t deny the gentle way he cared for her injury.  She wondered what else she would discover about him if she allowed herself the chance.  

 The guilt bubbled up within her.  He had cared for her hand and saved her life, all while risking his own to help her.  And how had she repaid him?  By leaving him chained up on a beanstalk with a giant nearby.  

 Emma squeezed her eyes closed.   She then took a deep breath and turned back around.

 ...

 Hook stared at the cuff upon his wrist, his lungs burning from screaming her name.  How could she do this to him after he saved her life?  After he had risked his own to help her?

 Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming toward him.  His head jerked up and his gaze landed on Emma.

 A grin spread across his face.  "I knew you would come back, Swan.  I knew you wouldn't abandon me."

 Emma stepped toward him, but stayed just beyond his reach.

 "Release me and we'll be on our way," he said with a nod of his head.

 Emma stared at him for a long moment, as she remained silent.

 "Well, get on with it," he prodded, holding up his wrist.

 Emma dug into her pocket for the key to the cuff she’d discovered nearby and held it up. Hook smiled at the sight.

 "Ah, yes.  Saves me the time and trouble of using my hook."

 Emma took the key and flung it to her side.  It landed just beyond his reach.  His eyes widened in shock.

 "Bloody hell!  Why the devil did you do that?"

 She shrugged. "Wouldn't want to make it too easy for you.  I know you love a challenge."

 "How am I supposed to reach it?" he spat out.  

 "You're a pirate, Hook.  You're clever and resourceful.  You'll figure it out."

 She turned on her heel to leave, but only got a few steps before his voice stopped her.

 "Perhaps I was wrong.  After I saved your life, I assumed you would return the favor if I was ever in need.  Granted, you've put me in said danger, but I suppose I was just expecting more from you, Swan."

 “I did help free you from the rocks that had fallen on you,” she countered softly.

 “And you believe that makes us even?” he asked bitterly, as she dropped her eyes to the ground.  “You may have retrieved the compass on your own, but you wouldn’t have even been alive to complete the task if I hadn’t saved your life.  And this is how you repay me?  Abandoning me atop a beanstalk with a giant looming nearby?  I assumed our shared experience with abandonment would have meant something to you.  I assumed you were above this.”

 Emma squeezed her eyes closed, the hurt in his voice almost too much to bear.  She took a deep breath and looked over her shoulder.

  "That's the trouble with assuming.  Good luck, Hook."

 She then continued on her way, never turning back as he called her name over and over again.

 ...THE END...

Read the rest of the stories here: CS StoryBook

Thanks for reading!  I hope you enjoyed it.  I’d love to know what you thought. 

~Steph

@csstorybook @whimsicallyenchantedrose @flslp87

[pikdoviewer]

Instagram Tips for Fashion Photographers

As a fashion photographer Instagram ought to be among your most every now and again utilized applications. It's an extraordinary approach to feature your most recent work, keep your supporters refreshed, pull in new partners, and inspire new customers. Be that as it may, building a devoted and particular after isn't done overnight.

Here are 16 hints that will enable you to wind up plainly the following Instagram hotshot:

1. Quality Over Quantity

I comprehend, you don't need individuals to disregard you or your work, so you're always searching for photographs to present all together on keep force going. Unwind. Odds are your supporters take after a greater number of records than simply yours, and their lives don't rely upon you refreshing your record like clockwork.

Rather than concentrating on posting day in and day out, keep your emphasis on your work, and just post when you have an edge you truly need to share. One incredible photograph a day is worth much more than 10 uninterested ones.

2. Pick a Good Username

Don't over confuse things. Pick a username that is anything but difficult to spell, as is short as could reasonably be expected, and that bodes well. At last you need to make it simple for individuals to discover you, and chances are they won't discover you if your username has nothing to do with your identity and what you do.

3. Don’t Buy Followers

Once more, one great (*and faithful) adherent is justified regardless of a thousand… better believe it you get it.

4. Engage (like)

Make a point to associate with individuals by investigating new clients and enjoying photographs. Other Instagram clients adore a like the same amount of as you do, so risks are they'll look at your profile once you've preferred a couple of their photographs. What's more, on the off chance that you take after point 1 religiously, they'll be moronic not to tail you.

5. The 1-2-3 Rule

A decent approach to draw in with different clients is to take after the 1-2-3 Rule. When you post 1 photograph, remark on 2, and like 3. You're as of now on Instagram posting, so for what reason not be powerful and get some engagement in the meantime.

6. Try not to Spam

Offer consistently, yet don't spam. In the event that the majority of your photographs are of superb, make a point to spread them out. In the wake of posting hold up no less than two – three hours previously posting your next one. In addition to the fact that it is irritating when somebody's hoarding your entire encourage, however system astute it isn't never cunning to package your quality posts inside a brief span outline as you'll just achieve the adherents that are checking Instagram at that given minute. Spread them out and you'll achieve the majority.

7. Advance Your Account In Existing Channels

On the off chance that you've just got a plummet following in other informal communities, use it by telling them you're on Instagram too. Make a point to add a connection to your Instagram account on your site, Facebook fan page and so forth.

8. Say People In Your Posts

Posting an executioner photograph from your last shoot? At that point remember to say the model(s) in the photograph, and who you worked with on the shoot. Because you pulled the trigger doesn't mean the beautician shouldn't be credited for his or her incredible work.

This will keep your group cheerful, other than they'll presumably furnish a proportional payback and elevate you to their fans.

9. Remain Consistent

I generally push this in the greater part of my discussions on the fashion photography business. Consistency is critical over the entire board. In the event that individuals tail you for your astounding photographs of models in autos, at that point that is precisely what they tailed you for. Regardless you have to keep it intriguing, yet focus on what works for you, and stick to it.

10. Hashtags

Without a doubt, hashtags are cool, yet who truly checks the #photooftheday or #nofilter hashtags? Keep them on the base, and stick to significant ones.

11. Geotag Your Photos

Shooting at a cool area or in a pleasant studio? Offer it! Individuals adore a touch of additional understanding into your marvelous life.

12. Connect Your Accounts

Make a point to associate your record to Facebook and Twitter, and offer your particular Instagram posts all through your system. This is an extraordinary approach to pull supporters onto your Instagram account, however make sure to take after point 6.

Timing is vital.

13. No Food

You're a fashion photographer for Christ's purpose. You're astounding dish of cereal, your adorable pets, or your child's first day of school has NOTHING to do with you as an expert fashion photographer.

No customers will ever book you for your photographs of your Starbucks espresso. Simply don't.

14. No Nudity

Tragically, Instagram doesn't care for an areola very as much as you do. You get three strikes, after the third your record is gone, and there's no real way to get it back. So edit the well done, or abandon it for your portfolio or Tumblr.

Like above, nakedness is permitted, simply don't demonstrate the well done.

15. No Watermarks

Including watermarks resembles pissing your craft with a specific end goal to shield individuals from taking it. This is 2016, get over it.

16. Behind the Scenes

Indeed, remembering the majority of the above, you should post some in the background photographs every so often. Be that as it may, don't post simply anything, recollect point 1.

[thefamilyineverknew]

Turning 47: pt. X

“Take the Highway to the Great Divide”

22-23 May 2018

Being a mono-tasker does have its advantages; a sharp focus on the task at hand, attention to detail, seeing a project through to the end. However, it comes with some stark deficits. In my haste and certitude in driving here, I have not only completely forgotten to contact any of my friends in Colorado to let them know I would be in the area, I haven’t even bothered to look up who is even living here. I have not thought this through.

Colorado Springs sits at the rough middle point in the state, east of the range, and I decide I’ll stop there to gather myself and hatch a plan. I just plug “Colorado Springs” into the navigator and let it guide me its deemed destination in the city, where ever that happens to be. It turns out to be the courthouse. So, park and sit for awhile, feeling mildly panicked, checking FB for people I know in Colorado and start writing. Friends who haven’t heard from me in years are now receiving messages, like “Hey, I’m in Colorado. Are you around?”.

Not feeling like the brightest bulb in the pack, I feel like a walk in the sunshine and a good stretch the legs is in order. As I head up the downtown street and across to a park, my senses are heightened by the unfamiliarity of the place. This leads me to finding a café. Starbucks, of course. Like a McDonald’s sign in a foreign country, a known quantity in a strange place is always a welcomed sight, however bland or blasé it might be. I order an iced coffee and take a seat outside. Check my social for any messages (none), and sip my cold beige.

Yesterday, before they left the farm, my aunt Lydia gave me both her phone number and my uncle Harry Kent’s, saying I would be welcomed to stay with them in Denver, should the need arise. Need has arisen. So I make the call.

Harry Kent & Lydia had been career missionaries in Costa Rica until retiring back to the US a few years ago. Though I had just been with them in Kansas, I hadn’t seen them for decades prior. They are very gracious, but also quite staid, so I am feeling both grateful and a bit like I’m on my tip-toes when Lydia gives me the green light to come.

The drive from Colorado Springs to my aunt & uncle’s takes about an hour and a half, but WHAT an hour and a half. For those who live here, I imagine the mountains to my shoulder and the massive rising and dipping earth formations have long become so commonplace as not to be noticed. But for these fresh eyes, it is a tall drink. I would prefer to be a passenger at this point, giving my full attention to the gorgeousness of it all, like I did when I was a kid on family vacation. As it is, I have to drive, and driving and gawking do not mix easily, especially for this mono-tasker. So, I try keep my eyes on traffic, while stealing glimpses when I am able.

Colorado is where my parents met, at Bear Trap Ranch in the mountains to the west of Colorado Springs. Both were in college at the time and were working there over the summer of ‘66, my mother in the kitchen, while my dad was a horse wrangler. The details of their courtship are unclear to me, other than my dad was strapping and my mom looked like Sally Fields, but I do know they were married within a year and have been ever since. The stretch between their hometowns, from southern Minnesota to western Kansas, was an enormous yawning midwestern gap (one our family would lap dozens of times). My dad would finish his studies at Kansas State in Manhattan, Kansas (very confusing when I was a kid. Where were the skyscrapers?), while my mom would teach kindergarten. Then they would move to Denver, where my dad would attend seminary, which is where I come into the picture in 1971.

In those early years, I can remember returning with them to Bear Trap; seeing young college co-eds in school sweatshirts, the smell of ponderosa pine, and the incomprehensible natural wonder of the mountains and surroundings. My dad always talked about his desire to move back to the Rockies when he retired. Instead, it is his older brother, Harry Kent, who has made Colorado his post-career residence.

The sun is setting as I arrive at their place; a latin turquoise blue house in a neighborhood of strict beige on beige. I absolutely approve. My aunt & uncle greet me at the door, show me my room, and give me the grand tour. The walls are lined with artifacts and memories from Costa Rica; sculptures, prints, and paintings. It is such a relief to be able to be caught by the family net, even after so many years and such distance.

Over the next couple days, Arla and I volley emails back and forth; I am still confident, feeling the needle is beginning to point toward a “yes”. In the meantime, I am fielding replies to the odd messages I had sent out to the diaspora of friends in Colorado. I hear from my friend Dawn Wilkinson.

Dawn was the Assistant Residence Director (ARD) in Fischer dorm at Wheaton when I was a Residence Assistant (RA) on 5-South, a year that nearly did me in. See, for both my freshman and sophomore years, I had developed this reputation for being wild and/or crazy, warranted or not. I would merely say that I was uninhibited. I certainly was making the most of my time, going for broke. Anything creative; music, performance, comedy, art, intricate pranks...it was all the same cloth to cut. I was going full-bore and having a blast, trying and doing new things, surrounded by some of the most interesting and creative that I had ever met. I was certainly set on having a good time and making an impact. An impact which backfired on me when, in my junior year, I took on the position as RA.

Now, Wheaton is a small school, about 2400 students, and when word spread that I would be in charge of 5-South, this naturally drew the interest of a certain type of student. One with a certain flexibility to rules and regulations. This would have been all fine and good had the school kept their former RD (Res. Dir.). However, the person they brought in, two weeks before school was to start, was a strict, by the books, rule enforcer. It was law by black & white vs. rainbow tie-dye, that whole year. Had my floor been a full house of buttoned-up types, it still would have been a challenge (it was 46 guys, after all, 18-19 yrs old on their first foray away from home). The sum of these parts added up to a nearly impossible and completely unmanageable year for me. This was the year I learned how to sleep through alarms, the year I sunk Marianas trench deep into Sergio Mendes & Brasil ‘66 records, and the year my grades plummeted, nay, spelunked, a full grade point. One of the saving graces was my superior, Dawn Wilkinson. She was the buffer between me and the RD, and was one of the few reasons I was able to make it through that year, tattered, but intact.

So, now, present day Dawn mentions to me the Air Force Academy is putting on their annual graduation air show in Colorado Springs, where she is. Perhaps, we could meet afterward? So I cruise down to see the air show which has just ended (although there is air to look at). Turns out they had started an hour earlier than scheduled. Bummer. Dawn & I text and she gives me the address of the church where she’s working. I plug in the coordinates and head that way.

I meet her in the church office and we go out to sit in the lobby. We talk Wheaton, our old colleagues from Fischer dorm, Colorado, her husband Dave (who I knew from back then), their kids, my kids, Sweden, and this trip I’m on. I lay down the skinny on why I am out this way.

“Do you think it will happen?”, she asks. “We’ll see, but I feel pretty good about it,” I say. We talk and talk, and then her teenage son and nearly-to-be married daughter arrive. “This is the guy I’ve been telling you about all these years! You know, the crazy one”, or something like that...(not verbatim). More talking and sharing and then it’s time to go. 25 years can go by and feel like a blink of an eye. Time is one of the strangest things we experience in life, I am convinced.

Getting back in the car, I can see Arla has written again! From her tone, I am certain she is getting closer to granting my offer to meet. Time, place, and logistics are the obstacles, yet, what I am seeing looks like a solution is coming....soon.

[smokeybrandcompositions]

The Rising Tide Raises All Ships

I don't understand people who are so ardently against social systems. Like, it's pulling eye-teeth just to have what little we do. I can't tell you how many f*cking time some MAGA cultist attacks food stamps or welfare like it's the worst thing ever but it's like, the ones who abuse it like you say, look like you. They don't look like me. There's always bad actors in any system, but if the majority carries on the way they should, then that system should function regardless. We know it can because it's being executed in real time, all over the world. There's a reason why the happiest places on earth, have the most expansive social welfare systems. Its fine to drive capitalism, no one's telling you not to work hard, but if we expanded those processes, everyone benefits. If everyone contributes a little more to the pool, all of our boats rise with the tide. I mean, seriously, if 2020 has taught us anything, it's that the systems we have in pace right now, don't work. They are easily exploited, easily manipulated, and completely counter intuitive to living life. There is a literal f*cking plague going on and our president is forcing people back to work and kids back to class because the economy. If that don't scream broke and needs fixing, I don't what does.

Free Healthcare means no worries going to the doctor. Paper cut, baby delivery, broken bone, or f*cking cancer, there'd be no stressing over how to pay those ridiculous bills. They wouldn't be ridiculous. I think in Canada an ambulance ride is, like, $230 dollars, average, depending on circumstances. In some places, it's as low as $45 and others, as high as $385. The average here in the States is closer to $1200 f*cking dollars. For just the ambulance. That's not even beginning to address the hospital visit and hope you don't an extended stay. These mother*ckers gave me a bill for close to $50,000 for my two week stay the first time I almost died. Bro, there's no way I am ever going to pay that. The f*ck is you saying? I read an account of someone going to the emergency room in the Philippines and it cost her $15 dollars. To see the doctor. It would have been free but she's not a citizen. More than anything, universal healthcare would force Big Pharma to price their medications appropriately. There would have affordable prescriptions for everyone. When I left my job, I lot my insurance. When I checked prices on my meds, just a single prescription was $400 f*cking dollars for one month's worth. In Canada, that prescription would have been $15. The ill thing? The $400 dollar one was the cheapest I could find stateside. I take five medications for my heart. Uninsured, I'd be dropping close to $3800 a month, on sh*t I need to live. Who the f*ck has a loose $3800 when they have to pay that much in rent every month? Insulin is, like, $300 for 10 days worth here. In Canada, it's f*cking $30. Sh*t's even cheaper in Egypt. Small businesses wouldn't have to worry about employee healthcare or anything like that. If you have more than two employees, the cost you save in insurance coverage is more than enough to offset that tax increase. You'd be able to actually pay a more livable wage, while pocketing more profit at the same time. How is any of this bad? How can you spin this sh*t as a negative?

Free education means a more literate populace. We wouldn't have near as many Anti-Vaxxers and Flat Earthers. Motherf*ckers would understand the science of social distancing and mask wearing during a goddamn pandemic. I wouldn't be so f*cking mad having to dumb myself down just to interact with society. If we follow the Nordic system, you get your four years worth of education, graduate with a proper degree, and get placed into a position immediately out of college to tenure in your focus for the next four years. It's not an internship but a real job. You not only get a degree, but you immediately start earning a living in that field, while accumulating experience. Once you complete your four year employment obligation, you can continue your employment, start the process  over with a new major in mind, or you're free to travel abroad with four years experience and a BA in your pocket. Not only would the populace be more literate, more people would be employed thus stimulating the economy. Those that enter into science and engineering, would have to innovate in their fields for four years, minimum, so you'd have hungry minds creating the future, just like back in the day when “America was great” or whatever. More education, means more jobs, means a stronger economy, means less crime. Again, how is this a bad thing? You wouldn't even have to do away with private college or studying whatever you want. If there wasn't a free program to take advantage of, just pay for your classes. I'm sure there'd still be grants and scholarship and financial aid available for aspiring painters or wannabe film makers, or any number of vanity degrees. F*ck it, man, if you want to go to Harvard just for the clout, you can still totally do that. F*ck, dude, you can do it after getting your free degree even. Graduate school, bro. Motherf*cker can be making six figures paying that stupid, clout chasing, tuition out of pocket because you can afford it with the job you got with that free degree. That's the beauty of the Nordic system; Everyone gets what they want.

That's just the surface of these benefits. I'm not even going to go into what universal income, maternity leave, vacation time, strong unions, and subsidized child care. I'm not even going to touch on how prisons over there are built to rehabilitate, not to humiliate and effectively enslave. For Profit prisons are the modern plantations. Look that sh*t up. I'm not even going to go into detail about the benefits collective legalization for all drugs and how crime plummeted because of it, or how they treat addiction like a mental illness and not a criminal offense, or the way they house their homeless and treat them humanely, while transitioning them into society with counseling, job placement, and social work. All of this, for, maybe, an extra hundred or two a year. That's, what? An extra $30 a month out of your check? Less than $10 a f*cking week? That one trip to Starbucks. That's two Quarter-Pounders. That's nothing. How does that math not work? How do these universal benefits, not jive with everyone? How does this sh*t not make sense to people, when you can see it working the world over? The illest thing in this whole situations is the fact that we, as the US, have absolutely more than enough to implement this system, this type of social democracy which benefits everyone, if we just rearranged our budget. Admittedly, we couldn't just implement the healthcare out the box. I mean, we could, but that would entail getting motherf*ckers who make trillions, like Amazon, Facebook, and Tesla as well as Zuckerberg, Musk, and Bezos, to pay their fair share without circumventing said responsibilities Corporate Welfare is crippling the working American and people are too dumb to even pay attention to it, distracted by buzzwords like “communism” and “immigrant.” So we do the free education thing first. That's only $4 billion a year. I checked. That's pittance compared to the defense budget.

Motherf*ckers wouldn't even need to “tax the rich” or “hold them accountable” if we just cut the defense budget. We can keep pretending that trickle down works and that Wall Street works for us and not corporate gluttons and that Reaganomics works, and whatever else the conservatives want us all to believe. Whatever, right? The US spends $650 billion on defense. That is, quite literally, $400 billion more than the next country, China. The rest of the world, minus the US and China, spends a collective $831 billion. That's an average of less than $50 billion a year, worldwide. F*ck, if you add China back into that, it's still less than $65 billion a year. Did i mention that these are yearly budgets? And these are old numbers. My guy, we can afford to drop a few billion of that defense budget. We can probably skim $50 billion and enrich a lot of people's lives but we don't even need that much. Drop $4 billion off of that gratuitous $650 tril, and you can fund free education for everyone. Following the Nordic system, that means more jobs. That means more taxes. That means a better economy and more revenue to implement the universal health care, which would further lessen the burden of employers and employees, putting even more money back into everyone's pockets, which would grow the economy even more. Happy and secure people, spend more money. The only people this system hurts, are those hurting us with the current system. Are they literally too dumb and/or selfish to let go of a little extra and uplift all of us? How do you argue that math? No one loses but the people forcing you to lose right now, in real time. F*ck, man, 2020 has exposed this entire system and there are still people who will die for a country that won't even give you enough money to be safe during a whole ass plague and I don't understand that at all.

[cliftonsteen]

How The World’s Leading Coffee Producer Is Dealing With COVID-19

COVID-19 related restrictions have impacted the world’s coffee production and exportation efforts. Despite this, Brazil 2020’s harvest is set to reach a historical high of 66.7 million bags. Though inventories were almost depleted during 2020’s off-season first quarter and bad weather hampered production in this time, future contracts for the commodity market haven’t significantly altered, and commodity export revenues have increased by 20% compared to this time last year.

Being a strong market player with years of experience means Brazil has several advantages which have helped it weather the worst of the pandemic’s impact. However, it remains to be seen if the lasting repercussions of the Coronavirus could change this – as while the commodity market is stable, the specialty coffee market is less so.

For Brazil to remain globally competitive after this period of economic instability, it will need to maintain high production levels, keep its production chain cohesive, and recognise the changes sweeping the international coffee industry. Here’s how the country has been impacted by COVID-19, and what the future might bring.

You may also like How Brazilian Producers Are Roasting & Selling Their Coffee

The Current State of Brazilian Coffee Production

Before COVID-19 disrupted the world’s coffee supply chain, there were already concerns that international supply wouldn’t be able to meet the predicted demand, and in many countries, past season reserves were already being used to keep up with consumption. Producers who had a harvesting season in 2020’s first quarter faced workforce-related challenges due to COVID-19, such as reduced worker mobility and fewer workers, as well as heightened production costs and sanitary demands. 

According to industry professionals, Brazil has been spared the worst of the virus’ impact. André Gomes Peres is an international broker for ACS Cafe Group and tells me that it’s business as usual for the country’s shipping and logistics industry. “So far, future contracts already executed are not at risk in terms of liquidity and delivery”. Thiago Borba represents 3Brothers, an Australian company that imports Brazilian specialty coffee. He says, “the main port we work with – Santos – has not stopped even for a day, since the beginning of the pandemic”.

Brazil’s environmental laws are already amongst the strictest in the world, with producers needing to maintain sustainability standards to comply with third-party certifications. Being used to complying with these demands has helped producers adapt to COVID-19 guidelines. Tiago Barinas runs Barinas Specialty Coffee Farm in Minas Gerais. He explains to me that existing rules inform everything from what workers wear to how they take breaks. “If one of my employees wants to have lunch under a coffee tree, I need to educate him that this is not possible, only in the cafeteria, otherwise I can be arrested”.

On land, the government has taken measures to curb the spread of the virus and keep production on track. They’ve instructed the farmers to wait until the fruits are properly ripened to harvest it, to reduce the number of harvesting trips required by workers. This move also ensures that the best crops are harvested, to provide buyers with consistent levels of quality. 

Other safety initiatives to prevent the spread of the virus involve local municipalities inspecting coffee farms for non-compliance, which includes sharing tools and PPEs, not measuring temperatures or isolating symptomatic workers, and not providing workers with cleaners and disinfectants. Should any worker fall ill, they are monitored until recovery. He says, “I had an employee who got the flu and was quarantined for 14 days, every day the National Health Service team called him”. 

Despite harvesting progressing slower and extra precautions being taken, there haven’t been reports of labour shortages so far. Other factors are also helping keep the country’s production on track. Here are some of the ones giving Brazil a competitive advantage. 

Brazil’s Technology Advantage

Unlike many producing counties, many Brazilian producers have integrated advanced technology and equipment into their production to amplify outputs and reduce costs. While manual picking is favoured by smaller producers and those with farms in mountainous regions, many larger producers participating in international markets use full mechanisation, as relying on manual labour is costly and time-consuming. 

In Brazil labour laws are strict, costing producers an average of 60% of what they’re already paying as a salary in taxes. One mechanical harvester can also harvest a hectare of coffee in four hours’ time – something that would require a day of labour from 30 workers. 

As many of the country’s larger producers are located in areas conducive to mechanisation, the entire production process can be mechanised from beginning to end. This gives them a natural advantage against labour shortages due to closed borders and restricted movement.

Brazil’s Training Advantage

In Brazil, constant training is prioritised in order for producers to keep their coffee quality and production levels high, so that they can better meet the needs of the international market. Antonio Guerra is Chief General of the National Coffee Research Consortium Center, a branch of the state-owned Brazilian Agricultural Research Corporation (Empraba). He tells me that Brazil’s high levels of technology adoption and production rates are thanks to extensive training.

Part of the success of these initiatives is that producers are receptive to training and trying new innovations, and that education is viewed as necessary for all producers. André says that most producers understand the relationship between investing in quality and enjoying a profit. Education initiatives by Empraba have already positively impacted local production, with Brazilian annual production having increased by 30% since the organisation was founded.

As André says, “The ‘new leadership’ of coffee farmers is made up of producers who’ve already participated in numerous seminars, international courses and many have traveled abroad”. 

Besides being schooled on techniques to maintain productivity, producers are also educated on the business side of production, equipping them to close future sales contracts and forecast future costs. This has come in handy during the pandemic, as it has helped producers to prepare for expected costs, helping them minimise its impact on their finances and operations.

Brazil’s Bargaining Advantage 

High production volumes and stable production flow rates give Brazil additional bargaining power when it comes to negotiating with buyers, ensuring they’re better placed to build beneficial relationships, negotiate contracts, and apply for credit in the commodity and specialty sectors.

Brazilian traders are experienced in negotiating future sales at micro and macro scale, says André. He adds that as a result, defaults rarely occur, and both parties benefit from guaranteed prices, supply volume, and assured quality demands. Producers who can’t negotiate for the new crop year with a hedge can access funds from the government-supported Coffee Economy Defense Fund (Funcafé). Due to COVID-19 disruptions, the fund made a larger amount made available to producers. 

Unlike in other producing countries, local producers haven’t been dealing with benchmark prices on Futures that fall short of their production costs during the COVID-19 pandemic. According to André, the bulk of the overall market’s previously closed contracts are being executed, without significant cancellation or renegotiation rates. 

Apart from sales of specialty coffee graded from 85 and up, there haven’t been contract disruptions. André says, “The big roasters, like Illy and Starbucks buy gourmet or fine coffee [graded at] around 80 points, and pay a fair market price for quality. This niche is not being affected”. Barinas adds that these kinds of sales account for 80% of his production. He explains that the sales of very high quality expensive coffees are being more impacted. 

Challenges For The Future 

Better bargaining skills, high levels of technology adoption, and ongoing education in best practices have all helped Brazil continue its commodity production and keep up with sales demands. However, this might not last in the future. 

For example, while the country’s internal commodity coffee consumption rates (the highest in the world) have been stable, this could change as the country’s purchasing power is impacted due to political instability. This has placed the Brazilian Real under depreciation pressure and while at first coffee sales benefited from the US dollar appreciation, the fact that most agricultural inputs are imported could hamper this benefit in the future.  

Specialty coffee production is also being impacted. Post-pandemic global demand has plummeted, with sales in the USA and Europe down 40% as of April. Some businesses like 3Brothers have managed to renegotiate their receivables and postpone deliveries, but many of their clients have had to close shop. Borba says, “Our customers are roasters that, in most cases, supply only to their chain of coffee shops and therefore we feel a direct impact. Some had to close their doors and reduce production up to by 80%, causing a ripple effect”. 

Barinas believes this will continue into the rest of 2020. He says that many traders he works with are already reporting difficulties, with clients asking for payment delays and contract postponements.

Buyer warehouses are already filled with specialty coffee from the 19/20 harvest, and importers can´t risk overstocking something that might not sell. As a result, these specialty coffees might . be sold at massively reduced prices directly into the commodity market. This is already happening in producing countries that had their harvesting season earlier in 2020. It could trigger a fundamental change in how specialty coffee is sold, as while members of the Brazilian Association of Specialty Coffees experienced an average drop of 76.25% in product sales, they also experienced a 49% growth in online sales.

André believes that Brazil will retain its buyer confidence, thanks to its well developed logistical system and supply chain. Antonio agrees, and believes that saying that the local coffee industry’s pillars will enable the country to “return to its normality soon, and even maintain the eight million jobs it generates in the sector”.

While the advantages listed above bode well for commodity sales and general coffee production, it’s worth noting that the specialty market hasn’t fared so well – and that anything from political instability to exchange rate fluctuations could impact the country’s overall success rate. This demonstrates that while Brazil’s overall coffee production might be more successful than its peers, its specialty coffee production is still as vulnerable as the rest of the world’s.

Enjoyed this? Then Read How to Roast Brazilian Specialty Coffee

Photo credits: Isabelle Mani SanMax, Cafezal Specialty Coffee, CQT Coffees, RP Consulting Brazil, Embrapa

Perfect Daily Grind

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How The World’s Leading Coffee Producer Is Dealing With COVID-19 published first on https://espressoexpertweb.weebly.com/

[disc-golf]

4 Steps to a Must-Have Emergency Fund

Unemployment is the lowest it’s been in almost 20 years.

Take a quick look at this:

As you can see from the patterns on this chart, at some point the unemployment trend will reverse.

This isn’t some sort of secret, and it’s not a stock market prediction. It’s just a 500-foot view to show you how the economy and markets work: Boom and bust. Growth and contraction. High unemployment and low unemployment.

It’s as sure as the sun rises and sets.

The unfortunate thing is that those who are unprepared for a “bust” or don’t understand the economic cycle get hit the hardest.

Today, I’m going to tell you about one of the most important steps to building and preserving wealth…

I’m talking about building an emergency expense fund.

Why you should save

62% of Americans have less than $1,000 in their savings accounts and 21% don’t even have a savings account. That’s according to a recent consumer survey.

Those are shocking statistics.

Let’s see how a “bust” plays out for someone in this demographic, alongside someone who is ready for economic downturns.

Person A and Person B are both progressing along in their careers. Person A has no savings account and $10k in credit card debt. Person B has a savings account with three months of living expenses stashed away and no debt.

Now, it’s important to note that on the surface, there’s almost no recognizable different between Person A and Person B. They are both climbing the ladder in their respective careers and working to invest time and energy in what’s important to them. They have families, a car, a house. The American dream, right?

But Person B has set aside a little amount each month for the past few years in case of an emergency. Person A has, well, just spent money—often before they get it in their checking account.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out which of these individuals would survive the blow of losing their job during the next economic downturn.

If Person B happens to lose their job, they have time. Time gives them options. They can move to a new location where jobs are more plentiful; they can stay where they are and devote time to finding the right job for them; or they can agree to stay at home for a while while their partner/spouse works. Meanwhile, they can collect unemployment to help with the bills or take on some side projects/freelance work to supplement household income.

You see, people who have options always have the advantage.

But what about Person A? Well, that’s a much uncomfortable story. If they lose their job—with no severance—they have to scramble to find income. They take any job they can, just to make ends meet. Their quality of life plummets. They don’t have time to look for better-paying, more meaningful work. And their health takes a nose-dive because of the rapid ramp-up in stress and frenzied activity.

Which scenario would you choose—an option-lined though unfortunate layoff, cushioned by a three-month emergency fund, that might lead to better opportunity; or a chaotic life lived paycheck to paycheck without the hope of overcoming the burden of incessant financial obligations?

Yep, Person B it is.

How much to save

Now, I just picked three months of living expenses in this example. It’s a common number thrown around by financial experts. Investment firm Vanguard recommends 3-6 months depending on your industry or other situation. Finance guru Dave Ramsey recommends 3-6 months as well.

If you’re a business owner and you listened to Craig and Bedros’s most recent Empire Podcast, Bedros says entrepreneurs should only keep 2-3 months of living expenses in the bank. Business owners should live on a razor’s edge and invest their profits back into the business.

Why? Here’s the gist: If you can’t make something happen and start earning money in three months, you’re not going to do it in 12 months.

The same applies to your finances, which is why 3 months is the golden number. If you can’t land a stable, financially sound job 3 months after layoff, you’re not likely to—unless your circumstances change significantly.

Keep this in mind as you build up your fund.

Regardless of whether you save for three months or a year, however, an emergency expense fund is about giving yourself options, preserving wealth without increasing debt, and not putting your family under financial stress.

It doesn’t take much to get started, either. Here’s an example of how much you can save in two years if you save $25, $50, or $75 each week:

Source: Vanguard

And keep in mind that this fund isn’t just for a layoff crisis. It could be for an emergency room visit, when the A/C goes out in your car, or when your leaky roof finally needs to be replaced. 

How to save

There are four simple steps to this, so there’s no reason not to start saving today:

Take some time this week and create a critical living expense budget. There’s no magic formula for setting this up (although the linked Quicken guide well help). It takes time and a little discipline, but will give you concrete numbers to start with. 

Add up all of the expenses you need for a month. This is how much cushion you want to have in the bank to get by for one month.

See if you can save up a month of living expenses in the next six months or so. I did this by finding luxuries I didn’t really need. These add up. So, for instance, I uncovered some magazine and app subscriptions that having been adding up in the background and cut them. Instead of just spending that extra money, I moved it to a savings account.

Your second, third, and fourth months will be easier once you have a system down. Adding this savings to your monthly budget helps, by the way, so consider inserting it as a line item (and maybe dropping a few Starbucks runs or shopping trips to make room).

Where to save

You’ve started to bring in money to your emergency fund. Congratulations!

But do you keep it in your checking account? No; too easy to spend. Do you stash it in your primary savings account? Bad idea; you might siphon some of it off for vacations and minor house projects.

My tip: Start a new, emergency fund-only savings account. Drop it all in there and don’t look at it.

You might be wondering if there’s a better way to get returns on the money you’ve saved up, but don’t worry about that. Your goal isn’t top interest rate returns or profit; it’s about having a secure financial cushion in times of crisis. And if you’re tempted to invest your emergency fund dollars, consider this: Every potential money-making investment has a risk that balances it out. Just think back to the ’90s dotcom reckoning; plenty of once-booming behemoths fell into bankruptcy and oblivion. You don’t want your money wound up in that uncertainty.

Put simply: The whole idea of an emergency fund is to create something unshakably stable; if you invest it, you run the risk of the market turning it into nothing.

Oh, and make sure your bank is FDIC-insured. That just means that a single account is federally insured up to $250,000. So, if the bank were to fail,  you would get everything up to $250,000 paid back to you by the federal government. (Most big banks are FDIC-insured, but some small or local banks may not be. You can learn more about FDIC insurance and coverage here.)

At the end of the day, there’s no reason NOT to start an emergency fund. It will give you and your family peace of mind, knowing that the future won’t collapse if crisis hits. All it takes is a modest $25 a week to get started—the same cost as 2 movie tickets or 5 Starbucks lattes.

If you ARE ready to invest and are keen on getting the best advice available in the market today, subscribe to our industry-leading Wealth Confidential Newsletter.

Each month, we share investment tips from real estate moguls, business owners, VCs, entrepreneurs, and self-made millionaires. There’s nothing like it out there—and worth every penny. >>> Subscribe today!

The post 4 Steps to a Must-Have Emergency Fund appeared first on Early To Rise.

[dotamon-blog]

This week, the story is coffee machine maker Keurig, which pulled ads from Sean Hannity’s show at the prompting of Media Matters, and is now facing a conservative backlash of NFL-size proportions. But it isn’t just one or two companies engaging in virtue-signalling, it’s practically all of them. It’s Pepsi, which panders to antifa in its ads. Its Heineken, which salutes open borders in their adverts. It’s Twitter. It’s Starbucks. It’s KLM airlines. Despite vast differences in their products, services, and consumers, every industry seems to have the same virtue-signallers.

From the moment of Trump’s inauguration, corporations have been engaged in a frantic struggle to block his agenda. White House globalist-in-chief Gary Cohn, along with the now-disbanded CEO council, did everything they could to blunt the President’s trade policies and prevent him from exiting the Paris Climate Agreement. The same CEO council, along with Cohn, sought to pressure Trump with a series of resignations following his response to a combination of racist white nationalist and Antifa violence in Charlottesville.

And that’s corporations playing nice. When their values are threatened by people who do not sit in the Oval Office, they do far more than simply resign. Earlier this year, after being spooked by mainstream news articles claiming YouTube was a cesspit of terrorism and hate speech, corporations promptly yanked their ads from the platform en masse.

Revenues plummeted overnight, and YouTube quickly added stringent new systems that prevent even remotely controversial content from receiving ad revenue. Once, the platform was a place where bold, independent commentators could develop healthy incomes without answering to any old media gatekeeper. Now, even YouTube’s politest fast food reviewer is having trouble keeping his ad revenue, as the platform introduces ever-stricter language codes. One tantrum from corporations was all it took for free speech on one of the web’s most promising platforms to be all but snuffed out.

Corporate ambivalence to free speech and hostility to the Trump agenda is matched by their regular, almost desperate attempts to pander to progressive sensibilities. Airlines are no longer happy with just telling you about the speed and comfort of their planes; they also want you to know that they support gay pride. Pepsi doesn’t just put celebrities in their ads these days; they put celebrities attending progressive rallies in their ads. Heineken has decided that “how refreshing, how Heineken!” isn’t a woke enough slogan for the present era. They now prefer “open your world,” complete with an accompanying ad toasting a “world without borders.”

To the Trump movement, a movement that has run Democrats out of the House, the Senate and the White House, and ensured a new conservative Justice on the Supreme Court, it must be incredibly frustrating to hear that there are still more worlds to conquer. Yet the progressive culture of corporations is, if anything, more dangerous than a Democrat-controlled congress. Private corporations are not bound by the first amendment and can quell free speech far faster than the government can. If they want to cause financial ruin to a business or an individual that has the “wrong” values, they can. If they want to be a roadblock to the Trump agenda, they can.

So, If populists and conservatives want to achieve their aims, they must change the culture of corporate America. To do that, they must understand how progressive values managed to infect corporate culture. Only then will they stand a chance at containing the disease.  

Virtue-Signalling Smoothies

Corporations never make a decision without considering how it affect their bottom line. Why hasn’t Twitter’s hippie hobo-in-chief Jack Dorsey banned Trump yet? Because, unlike all the other conservatives he’s banned, Trump is crucial to his company’s profitability.

Profits come before political values, then. But why did global corporations decide that adopting progressive values would help their profits? Doesn’t the left hate capitalism, after all?

The answer lies with a number of upstart companies that appeared in the late 1990s and early 2000s, promising a new form of capitalism. The new fad had many names: “ethical capitalism,” “social entrepreneurship,” “socially responsible capitalism,” and so forth. But all the companies shared one idea: you can be a profit-hungry capitalist and still be a progressive.

Those companies discovered that virtue-signalling could help distinguish otherwise-unremarkable products. Take smoothies: there are many different brands, each tasting fairly similar. Yet if a smoothie company pledges to give 10 percent of your sales to help humanitarian causes, as the little-known British company Innocent Drinks did in 2004, then they stand out.

Founded in 1999, Innocent Drinks combined a hipster aesthetic (grass-covered vans were a big thing at the company), a hipster target market (they initially sold their products in ultra-liberal North London and at music festivals), and, with their deliberately public virtue-signalling, hipster values. The formula proved to be successful: within a decade, the brand became one of the biggest in Europe and was eventually sold to Coca-Cola.

Ethos Water, a bottled water company founded in 2001 with a team that included current ADL CEO (and notorious Breitbart-hater) Jonathan Greenblatt, is another example of successful capitalist virtue-signalling. Few products are more generic than bottled water, yet within two years of starting operations, it had been sold to Starbucks for $8 million, and can now be bought in every one of the coffee giant’s stores. All it took for Ethos was a feel-good name and a donation, that, although tiny ($0.05 – $0.10 to clean water charities with every purchase), is proudly boasted of on the side of every bottle.

Ethos and Innocent were pioneers, and their example was quickly followed. Today, progressive virtue-signalling is built into the fabric of global corporate culture. Moreover, in an effort to distinguish themselves even further, the grandstanding is growing more radical. Even though it was later trashed by activists for being too nice to the police, Pepsi all but glorified the violent “resistance” movement earlier this year in a controversial advert featuring Kendall Jenner. Twitter invites radical race-baiters and progressive provocateurs to cosy up to senior management. Corporate donations to radical left-wing groups like the SPLC are common.

Even as the left hails corporations as the “moral voice” of America, cracks are beginning to appear in the virtue-signalling business model. First, it is no longer as distinctive as it was when Ethos and Innocent were founded. When both Coca-cola and Pepsi boast of their commitment to progressive values, they cancel each other out. In order to choose between the brands, consumers have to revert to a more traditional criteria: how good they taste.

Corporations are increasingly coming face to face with a more dangerous possibility: that, far from making consumers more likely to buy their products, virtue-signalling now alienates them.

There is no better example of this alienation than the NFL. On the face of it, the League’s job seems supremely easy: they have to sell professional football in a country where it is practically a national religion. Yet, thanks to some profoundly stupid political stunts on the part of its players, they have catastrophically failed even this simple task. Between the September 21st, when the #TakeAKnee campaign took off, and September 29th, the NFL’s public approval ratings nearly halved.

Keurig fell into the same trap this week. By bending the knee to Media Matters and yanking ads from Hannity, they’ve alienated thousands of middle-class consumers who buy their products. Leftist students don’t buy Keurigs: suburban families and business owners do. And now they’re throwing out their Keurig machines.

Even virtue-signalling from celebrity surrogates is becoming a problem for brands. Bourbon manufacturer Jim Beam is currently under boycott from conservatives because its brand ambassador, Mila Kunis, decided to troll the Vice President by signing Planned Parenthood donations in his name. It probably went down well in lefty Hollywood, but conservatives drink Jim Beam too. Or at least they did, until Kunis pulled her stunt.

They won’t admit it, but corporate America is watching. Like the games industry during GamerGate and the NFL earlier this year, consumers are sending the business world an unmistakable message: virtue-signalling is not welcome in all industries.. Ethos Water might be able to sell it in Starbucks, but middle American sports fans are a rather different market.

To really change the nature of corporate culture, though, the right must take things a step further. It’s not enough to show that virtue-signalling has ceased to be profitable. It must be shown that the real profits lie in doing the precise opposite.

Vice-Signalling Protein Shakes

In the summer of 2015, little-known fitness company Protein World stumbled, quite by accident, into culture-war stardom, reaping huge financial rewards in the process. It all started with an advert, rolled out across London’s public transit, that would prove to be both wildly controversial and immensely successful.

To a fitness company, these ads must have seemed perfectly innocent. To the feminists of London, however, they were rage-inducing on multiple levels, from sexual objectification to “body-shaming.” It didn’t take long before activists were vandalizing the ads and calling on the Mayor of London to ban them, while their allies in the media penned outraged op-eds.

A year later, the activists got what they wanted, when the leftist Mayor of London banned “body-shaming” adverts. But by then, the campaign had long since backfired. Consumers reacted to the outrage by giving Protein World their business. Within days of the controversy, the company added 20,000 new customers and made revenues in excess of $1 million.

Recognizing a winning marketing strategy, Protein World’s management decided to double down instead of apologize. After denouncing the protesters as a “vociferous minority,” the company put the offending ad on a giant billboard in New York’s Times Square, along with a marketing campaign in the city’s subways.

“Best of all,” joked the company’s outspoken marketing manager at the time, “you could say that this campaign was paid for by the protestors in London!” Just as the NFL discovered that progressive virtue-signalling can damage the profitability of a business, Protein World discovered that vice-signalling could sometimes achieve the opposite.

Another company that benefited from attracting the rage of leftists include Play Asia, a Hong Kong-based company that supplied the Japanese game Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 to western markets after its publisher declined to do so over fear of a western social justice warrior backlash against the game’s politically incorrect content. After successfully baiting “SJWs” on Twitter, the company surged to prominence after a left-wing “boycott” attempt left them with thousands of new, devoted fans.

Beyond video games and fitness, the fast food chain Chick-fil-A is a more prominent example of a brand that benefited from a “buycott” after becoming the subject of national controversy over company president Dan Cathy’s opposition to gay marriage. Despite ceaseless attacks in the press throughout 2012, the company’s sales soared by 12 percent.

The kind of industries where vice-signalling may be effective is becoming clear. Football, video games, protein shakes. They are industries typically shunned, or at least treated with ambivalence, by metropolitan hipsters. They are beloved by middle America. They are, we are told, “uncool.”

But for a business, uncool should be fine, as long as its profitable. Indeed, so many brands have been trying to be hip, cool, and on top of the most cutting-edge social justice trends, that doing the opposite is far more likely to distinguish a brand. The tipping point will be when companies realize they can make more money by being the bad boys. Just as how punk rock went from being anti-establishment to being pro-Obama, it could all one day flip back.

What’s more, vice-signalling is still a largely untapped goldmine. Chick-fil-a and Protein World fell into it by accident. It was only Play Asia that deliberately set out to antagonize social justice warriors. But the success of these companies shows that there’s an eager market out there, keen to give their money to an entirely new kind of “socially conscious” company.

A  “socially conscious” coffee company has also been thrust ino the spotlight thanks to the Keurig boycott. Black Rifle Coffee, a veteran-owned company whose marketing slogans include “Make Coffee Great Again” and “Stand for Freedom.” They have benefited from an upsurge in social media attention over the past 24 hours, including endorsements from Hannity and Donald Trump Jr.

Leftist virtue-signalling at major corporations has long gone unchallenged, but its golden age is drawing to an end, as conservative consumers find their voice. Just as the broken promises of mainstream politicians gave rise to Donald Trump, and the dishonesty of the mainstream media gave rise to the alternative media, the virtue-signalling of major corporations may has resulted in the birth of an even more disruptive force: the alternative economy.

[isaiahmax-blog]

☠

 O N E.

isaiah turned the corner, to find the guys who had given naomi a hard time- at a god damn halloween party. maybe his anger is already a little bit spiked, because of that. he’s already a little annoyed, because of how shitty people can be, and because elijah is drunkenly stumbling all over the place. isaiah is stuck on dad duty, and honestly... he isn’t feeling this party as a whole. so of course, that’s when he turns the corner, pushing past a few bodies that are dancing, only to see... ashley. isaiah’s mouth turns up, into a smile, his mouth opening to call out to her. he can see she’s talking to someone, and smiling at them. that special ashley cohen smile. and that’s what gives him pause. isaiah stumbles slightly, closing his mouth, just as more of the crowd clears, and he sees who ashley is smiling at like that. julian. there’s a roar within isaiah’s head, suddenly, as he hears nothing but his own blood, rushing. they’re just talking. calm down, isaiah instructs himself. he doesn’t move from the spot though, not even as others bump into him. he can’t tear his eyes away from the way they’re leaning into each other, and laughing. and then... isaiah feels something within him DROP to the floor, right to his feet, because ashley is moving forward and kissing julian, hard. isaiah feels a bit like a pervert for watching, but he’s so surprised, and shell shocked, that he can’t move. ashley kissing julian is bad, but julian kissing ashley back suddenly, with a great gusto... that’s what makes isaiah feel his breath catch in his throat. the pair are kissing, and kissing. and it feels like the longest kiss in the world. 

“ISAIAH! MY MAN!” one of the lacrosse players slaps isaiah on the back suddenly, pulling isaiah out of his reverie. his eyes pull away from the sight of two of his best friends kissing, only to glare at the player, who recoils slightly. “yo, man. your cup’s broken.” the player points out, slightly hesitantly. isaiah looks down, to where he’s spilled the whole glass of alcohol. isaiah hadn’t even really noticed, but as he glances down, he realises his hands have clenched into fists, turning his knuckles a stark white. isaiah breathes out, sharply, and ignores the player, only to look up and see ashley leading julian away, and into a bedroom. isaiah sees red, yet again, because he KNOWS what that means, and he god damn hates it. in that moment, he hates julian vega.

T W O .

the knocking on isaiah’s door is so persistent, and he can hear julian making a stupid frozen joke. isaiah is angry at the world. he’s angry at being arrested, he’s angry at himself for hiding out. he’s angry for being kicked off the lacrosse team. he’s angry because gina is dead. he’s angry because he saw julian and ashley kissing, then walk into another private room. he’s so pissed off, and now julian is here- as if trying to piss him off even more. go away, isaiah fights to urge to snap it out. his hands curl into fists again, his breathing deepens. just the thought of seeing julian with his stupid smile, and knowing that those lips kissed ashley ... that’s enough to make isaiah want to open the door, just to punch him, right across that mouth, over and over. he inhales, then exhales. isaiah knows his anger is sorely misplaced. he’s upset with julian, sure, but as a whole- he doesn’t want to punch him. he just wants to hit SOMETHING, because he feels so supremely pissed off with the world. and julian just so happens to be there. but no. instead... isaiah swallows hard. he swallows that anger. and he keeps the door closed between them.

T H R E E.

normally, isaiah would never step into a starbucks. he doesn’t drink coffee, and he doesn’t like going to places where he knows he’ll be recognised, especially of late. ( since his arrest. ) but, he wanted to get damaris one of those silly pumpkin spice latte’s people seemed to like so much, just to say thank you for her putting up with him, and being such a good friend, and even better house mate. she’d supported him, silently, when she had been going through her own stuff too. isaiah truly didn’t deserve her. as he pushes open the door to the busy cafe, he steps into the line immediately. it’s moving slowly, but isaiah truly doesn’t mind waiting. he’s feeling a lot better these days, if he’s being honest. he misses lacrosse a lot, sure, but... at least it feels nice to know people are fighting to get him back on the team, and fighting to show the press and media that he’s not some murderous maniac. nobody seems to believe the police, and for that isaiah just feels relieved. the mark will always be on his record, but at least people aren’t treating him that differently.

isaiah pulls out his phone, thinking briefly back to ashley, as always. he considers texting her, just to see how she’s going. it’s his mind that plays tricks on him, he’s sure of it- because he’s certain he can hear ashley’s laugh from one of the occupied tables. isaiah unlocks his phone, just as he hears her laugh, and then her VOICE. he could tell his voice from a mile away. it’s really her. as the line moves once again, isaiah slides his phone into his pocket, and glances around, a smile sneaking onto his face at the idea of surprising ashley here. he’s just glad to hear her laughing, and being herself again. 

“you’ve gotta be kidding me.” isaiah can’t stop the words from falling from his mouth, as his eyes find ashley’s dirty blonde head, sitting with... julian. again. laughing. the two are leaning in over a table together, speaking. and... it’s like they’re in their own little world. like it’s just them two. isaiah’s heart plummets, and the smile on his face is quickly wiped. right. of course she’d be with julian. of course she’d be laughing and talking with him. julian was an awesome guy. isaiah would testify that anywhere, and to anyone, but right now... that fact just pisses him off. he doesn’t need a reminder that julian is smarter, and overall just good to get along with. especially not from ashley. the pair haven’t even noticed isaiah, and why would they? his breathing comes out slightly shallowly, as he pulls his eyes away. he feels such a tight pressure in his chest, once again. not just sad...but annoyed at how public they’re being with each other. he doesn’t know why, but it’s just... the Worst. “NEXT PLEASE!” the starbucks barista glares at isaiah, as he realises he’s been holding up the line. “oh.” he swallows, uncurling his hands he hadn’t even realised had turned into fists. “shit. sorry.” 

F O U R.

“-but up until... you know...” the lacrosse team goes slightly quiet, sombre, at the unspoken mention of gina. isaiah keeps his head down, even though it’s him that the team is surrounding themselves around. he’s glad for their company, but isaiah really doesn’t want to think about that party. or that night. mike nudges cassidy, obviously to tell him to change the subject. isaiah shoots mike a grateful glance, and the energy picks up in the group once again.

“but yo, man, let me tell you. mike got totally WRECKED at beer pong.” cassidy and the rest of the guys are laughing, and it’s just such a common feeling that isaiah can’t help bark out a small laugh too, his mouth upturning. cassidy must find that encouraging, because he continues. “and what else? oh yeah, art was on the banned list, so he didn’t even get an invite to the party.” that DOES brighten isaiah’s mood, as he grins, remembering how good it had felt to finally kick art off the team. he’s glad the other team mates agree. “OH! and man, julian vega and ashley cohen? i heard they totally did it in the parents room. they were in there for a little.” cassidy is grinning, as if sharing the juiciest, best news in the world- but all it does is making isaiah’s smle vanish. “i heard that they’ve been sneaking off in between classes too, man!” isaiah feels a sickening lurch in his stomach at the idea. his mind goes back again, to the memory of ashley and julian at the starbucks, just a few days ago. he doesn’t know if cassidy is telling the truth, because there’s always a LOT of hearsay with ashley, which isaiah tries his best to ignore, or tell the guys to not participate in. “who knew? julian vega. getting his dick wet in ashley cohen.” cassidy shakes his head, as if in awe, only a few of the other guys chuckle, although there’s definitely a tension now. all eyes seem to be on isaiah. isaiah’s mind reels back to the idea of julian, playing the role of doting friend, then hooking up with ashley behind his back. it doesn’t seem like a julian-thing to do, but isaiah’s mind can’t stop itself from thinking it. isaiah slams his textbook closed, a bit too hard. silence falls over the group. 

“yo, isaiah... you uh, want us to have a word with vega?” mike asks. isaiah almost wants to laugh, because it feels like they’re in a MOB MEETING almost, and they’re asking for isaiah’s permission to take julian out. he briefly does consider it though... but really, in the end, he knows he couldn’t do that to julian. or ashley. they’re his friends. no matter what.

F I V E .

“- man, when are you going to believe us, huh?” julian is jogging to keep up with isaiah, who resolutely stares ahead, still ignoring him. “we kissed! we were drunk! it was a mistake! everyone knows you and ashley are basically in love with each other!” julian’s insistent, and isaiah wants to believe it. he really does, because he misses having julian as a friend, and he hates having to ignore anyone. julian gives up on jogging after isaiah, staying put on the spot now, as isaiah continues walking. it seems, finally, julian is fed up. “i can’t believe how immature and petty you’re acting!” he calls out, and that’s what causes isaiah to swing around, so suddenly.

“alright, man, if it was nothing then why were you and ashley sitting together at a table in starbucks, practically swapping spit, a week ago?” it’s an exaggeration, but isaiah is HEATED. julian blinks, in surprise, and then... he LAUGHS. isaiah’s temper rises, his hands curling into fists. “what- that’s funny? it this all a joke to you? tell me this shit to my face then act completely differently behind my back? i don’t care if you’re into ashley.” a lie. “but don’t fucking lie to my face. if you’re meant to be a friend, then you don’t insist we like each other, and then go kiss her and go on cute little dates with her. leave me the fuck outta it, alright?” isaiah’s voice is getting harder, more snappy, with each word. julian’s still smiling, as if in disbelief, and he shakes his head at isaiah, as if thinking ‘poor, stupid isaiah maxwell’. isaiah’s head swirls with his own fury, and his hands curl into fists, tightly, by his side. “stop fucking LOOKING at me like that, you asshole.” isaiah’s words are harsh, harsher then they’ve probably ever been in his life. julian looks surprised, for a moment, just as isaiah turns to walk away.

“WAIT-” a hand goes to isaiah’s bicep, and isaiah just... s n a p s. as he spins around, his fist is raised, and sinks right into julian’s face, just as he’s briefly imagined doing. only this time it’s real. it connects with julian’s cheek, hard, staggering the other boy back, and as soon as it happens- isaiah knows he’s fucked up. the anger all leaves him at once, and his eyes are wide open, in shock at his own actions. he punched julian. he punched his friend.

“oh fuck. fuck. fuck.” he breathes out, already taking steps closer, in alarm. “i’m sorry. shit. julian, fuck. i’m- i’m so sorry.” isaiah’s hands go to his hair, as if about to pull it out. “i shouldn’t have done that, i-  wasn’t thinking. are you alright? let me take you to the nurse. please. oh god, i’m sorry.” 

[tripswithtrey-blog]

Exploring the Wild

If you've ever gone to Disney's Animal Kingdom on vacation, odds are that you've heard its a "half day park." As a seasoned explorer, I'm here to tell you it is far from that. Here's the best way to experience this awesome park.

On my College Program, I was lucky enough to have DAK as my home park. This meant that I got to know the ins and outs of what made Animal Kingdom the wildest park this side of the Mississippi. From going on an expedition to the peak of Mount Everest to going on a safari on the African savannah, Animal Kingdom has a lot of story to tell if you're willing to listen.

THE OASIS

Start your morning off right with a morning welcome from Devine, a magical creature that lives in The Oasis. She's a sentient plant that dazzles park goers as they walk by. You have to keep an eye out for her as most don't even see her blending into the surrounding foliage. Be on the look out for different animals such as the babirusa and military macaws as you make your way to to the top of the bridge looking into Discovery Island.

DISCOVERY ISLAND

Discovery Island is reminiscent of a tropical village hidden deep within a jungle. Here you can become a Wilderness Explorer just like Russell from the Disney Pixar movie UP. It's a free scavenger hunt for kids and grown ups alike! Once you gain all the badges, you become a Senior Wilderness Explorer! On the island, you can find a number of animals all around the 145 foot tall baobab tree known as the Tree of Life. Underneath, you can become as small as an insect in "it's tough to be a bug", a mix of 3D animation and animatronics. You can head over to Creature Comforts, the local coffee shop that proudly brews Starbucks coffee for a quick pick me up to get your morning going. Later in the night, come back to the island to watch the Tree of Life awakening, where the fireflies make the tree's carvings come to life right before your eyes.

Hungry? There's plenty of places to eat on Discovery Island. Pizza-fari, Flame Tree Barbecue, and Tiffin's are good places to grab a bite. And if you're looking for a relaxing drink with friends or someone you love, try the new Nomad Lounge right next to Tiffin's.

PANDORA

Now that the ACE team has stated letting humans of earth travel light-years away to Pandora, its time to get to know the Navi, up close and personal! The floating mountains, the giant plants, and the strange animals, Pandora is just what any explorer would want!

Welcome to the Valley of Mo’Ara. Take a trip down the river in Navi River Journey and meet the Shaman of Songs as she sings positive energies out into the forest. Then, if you’re brave enough, take on your OWN Navi and climb on a Banshee to fly all over the moon, experiencing all of what Pandora has to offer.

Don’t forget to snag something exotic to eat at Satu’li Canteen or adopt your own Banshee at Windtraders!

 AFRICA

If you have kept walking, you're crossing the bridge into Harambe, a South African village with lively characters and sweet smells everywhere. Here you can venture over to the Port of Harambe and see "The Festival of the Lion King" which is one of Disney's best stage productions. It's a live musical revue of songs from The Lion King. There's acrobatics, aerial performances, and even a bit of pyrotechnics. Do not miss this show!

Looking for animals? Hop on over to Kilimanjaro Safari's and take on the African Savanah. Make sure your camera is out, you never know what animal you're going to come across. If you didn't see enough, take to the Gorilla Falls Trail which is right next to the exit of the Safari. You'll come across dozens of animals and come face to face with a gorilla or two!

Tusker House is known for its resident duck, Donald! He's there to share his breakfast with you in the morning so make sure you get a reservation!

RAFIKI'S PLANET WATCH

Board a train to Rafiki's Planet Watch, a five minute train ride that takes you from Africa to an animal hospital and petting zoo. Here is where you can meet the famous baboon himself, pet a goat, and meet some really interesting animals the care givers have out for you to learn about. Don't forget to say hi to Doc McStuffins! She loves hanging out making sure all of the animals are doing okay!

ASIA

Welcome to Anadapur! In this hustling village, you can find the river bank of the Kali River where you can board a raft to take on the rapids! It's a quick ride to get you called off on those hot summer days. Dry off by taking a walk on the wild side in the Maharajah Jungle Trek where you can get up close and personal with bats, tigers, and birds in an aviary. It will make you feel like you're no longer in a theme park but somewhere in jungle ruins.

Once you've taken your journey though the trek, it's time to face the Yeti on Expedition Everest. On a routine trip up to base camp on the mountain side, things take a backwards turn when your train cart gets derailed and sends you plummeting into total darkness. When your train finally catches back onto the track, the Yeti is right there to swing at you! Feel free to kiss the ground once you arrive back at Anadapur.

When the lights go down the river shines bright! Rivers of Light is held in the stadium that overlooks the water. This magical pageantry of music, lights, and magic give the entire family something to smile at.

Before you head down the Highway to Diggs County, stop at the theater and get reacquainted with your favorite fish friends. Finding Nemo: The Musical is one of the cutest shows and noteworthy songs in all over the Disney Parks. It's a great place to relax and enjoy the cool air conditioning.

DINOLAND U.S.A.

When you've hit Route 498 be sure to stop at Hester and Lester's Din-o-rama! It's a road side attraction to bring tourists into the area. With fun carnival games to a wild mouse ride called Prime-eval-whirl, there's something for everyone there. Be sure to head over to the Dino Institute to meet Donald and Dino Sue! There's also Time Rovers that send you back in time on Dinosaur: Race to Extinction. Don't worry. I think Dr. Beaker has finally been stopped sending people seconds before the meteor hits earth.

TLDR;

With some much more to see and do, Disney's Animal Kingdom is no longer a "half day park." These are just the HIGHLIGHTS of an amazing park, and I urge you to go. It's not just a zoo, its a theme park!