#tell me your babys gender so i can make them gifts they wont mind seeing in photos if they're trans!!!!!

[marvelousmawn]

my stupid cousin is having a baby with a cop and i forgot all about baby showers and have knitted NOTHING for this poor child who didn't ask for this

and then there's another one right after oh NO i have procrastinated to my detriment

[noonaduck]

SeXd (sex ed) Pt.5

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader genre: Fluff,smut, non idol Au Warnings: female and male masturbation Words: 3014 + 1896 A/N: Whoop Yoongi is going to have two chapters because if I didn’t cut the part where I did it wouldn’t be so smooth. Is hell already full? EDIT: I decided to combine Yoongi’s second part into this chapter.

Summary: Y/N is a woman who is inexperienced in anything when it comes to relationships and sex. Luckily her friend Jimin along with his six other friends decide to show her what she has been missing.

4. < 5. > 6.  If you wanna be tagged msg me or send ask. I wont tag you if you ask on comments.

tags:  @lylanie12 @hopeivx @vannilacake @mina-messed-up  @lonely-hufflepuff @soularbangtan@all289854 @hobitoons @vanessalovesonedirection @bbjel @doki-do-ki@yoongleskitten @chaitaewithkookies @hellosweety94 @exochanyeoltao@brokencrownqueen @hitit-thesecond-audition @kookiemonstersugatea@treetops68 @mylittlestrangeandsweetworld @lanu-la @d-noona@serendipity-secrets @recs-by-raamish @jojolovesbangtan @fanficreblogaaaa@creepysweet @nosnakeuthankyou 

[gifs belongs to their rightful owners]

Hoseok took you on small date to the park. Despite your lesson being done for he had insisted that he should keep the promise about taking you out. You had small picnic next to small lake where ducks had habit of swimming. You goofed around and took pictures together. Your favorite picture about you and Hoseok has ended up to your phone wallpaper. Hoseok's hand was tied loosely around your waist and he pressed his lips on your cheek when you looked to the camera smiling widely on the pic.   You were looking at your screen and smiling fondly to your memories when tap on your shoulder disturbs your daydreaming. You turn around and see widely smiling Jin in front of you. You had decided to take your lunch break at nearby sandwich restaurant instead eating on theater's break room. 

''Oh hi Jin, what are you doing here?'' You ask when Jin sits with his food on free chair next to you. Jin is wearing loose white shirt with blue pants used by doctors. ''I'm going to meet Namjoon here for lunch but instead I pumped into you.'' Jin smiles happily for seeing you. ''Like usually he is running late.'' His smile turns into frown. ''That sucks.'' You take a bite from your sandwich and smile sympathetically. ''Well I'm used to it. Namjoon has been like this since high school.'' ''I didn't know that you guys have known each other for so long.'' You are surprised. Jin leans closer. ''Wanna hear a secret?''

''Sure, go ahead.'' You are excited. ''Me and Namjoon used to date on high school.'' Jin winks and pulls away. You almost choke to your bread and begging couching. ''Oh my god I'm sorry.'' Jin panics and is ready to stand up but you signal him to wait and take big gulp from your drink. ''It's okay.'' You assure clearing your throat. ''Is Jin trying to kill you?'' familiar voice comes from your behind and Namjoon stands behind you smiling widely. Whats it with  men sneaking behind you today without you noticing? Namjoon is wearing black suit-pants with matching jacket and baby blue shirt underneath it. ''I hope not.'' You answer and Namjoon pulls chair for himself. ''I'm sorry that I'm late. My meeting took longer than I first expected.'' Namjoon tells and grabs extra sandwich from Jin's tray. He peels the wrap of and bites his bread hungrily. He lets small moan and closes his eyes. ''I really needed this. So Jin what you said to Y/N to make her choke?'' ''I told about our dating history.'' Jin says innocently. ''I see.'' Namjoon smirks. ''It was long time ago and we ended up separating when our lives pulled us in different directions. Jin wanted to become a veterinarian and I left to business school into another city. I only returned here two years ago.'' ''So you guys are into women as well?'' After all they had asked you on date... ''Yep.'' They both say in unison. ''It seem to be quite common to like both genders in your group of friends.'' you think out loud. ''Well Kookie, Tae and Hobi are all straight. Me and Namjoon are bisexuals, Yoongi gets interested on someone based on their personality not their gender and Jimin accepts everything when it comes to sex. I have heard that he had dated only women though.'' Jin tells generously. ''So he has actually dated someone?'' You ask curiously. Jimin hasn't been quite open about his dating life. ''Yeah, long time ago. I think its his story to tell and not ours.'' Namjoon smiles apologetic. ''Its okay,I'll ask him about it then. Look it was really nice to see you guys but I have to go, my break is almost over.'' You tell glancing your watch.   ''Bye Y/N, it was nice to see you even if briefly. I'll ask you out soon, but right now I'm too busy with work.'' Jin tells. His words makes you excited, soon would be his turn to take you on date and perhaps give you some lessons... ''I have same problem. When I'm able to close my current business deal I will contact you.'' Namjoon sighs in defeat. He looks really tired because his work. ''There is no need to rush. I will look forward our dates.''

You feel like a rock when you fall on your bed. You had late night sift and you had to keep fake smile on your face while selling tickets. You are ready to doze of when your phone beeps. You had forgotten to mute your phone and curse yourself. You reach for your phone with deep sigh ready to turn it off when a notification catches your interest trough your tired state. You open the screen and message from Yoongi pops up to your screen. Yoongi: If you are interested what my streams are about I'm going live in five. sugapop.live.com  

your curiosity takes best of you like always and you open the link. You have entered into chatroom with plank video player above the chat box. Popup window demands you to make an account or log in to website so you can proceed. You click the registration button and make and account with username sex3dstudent. You chuckle for your own lame joke when the blank screen changes and Yoongi appears on the screen. He is wearing white loose shirt, which is slightly see trough, with black tight boxers alongside black choker on his elegant neck. Yoongi is sitting on wide bed with blood red satin sheets and behind him is window with same colored curtains covering the window. The camera focus is on the bed and you can't see the other parts of the room. The chat goes wild when Yoongi appears. h0eforsuga: *Suga looks extremely good like always.* manwhore3: *I wish I could lick his body :P* sugamonster: *gimme some suga, my sweet tooth is itching.* Soon the first three comments are buried under the thirsty messages which turns even more hornier as time goes by. You blush when you are reading them and decide focus on Yoongi instead. Like on cue Yoongi grins slyly when your eyes are focused on his figure. ''It seems that I have been missed. Have you guys been good?'' His voice is low coming trough your speakers. Choir of yes answers fulls the chat and Yoongi's smirk grows wider when he reads the replays. You have a hunch now what kind on content Yoongi is making and you can't wait to see more. Yoongi's hands goes for his shirts highest button and his fingers lingers above it. ''You must been surprised for today's free show, but It's special gift for someone. You are curious for who? Well of course for my master.'' Yoongi winks. ''What you would want me to do today master?'' He tilts his head innocently and you are caught of guard. You never thought that Yoongi is on submissive side. Yoongi reads again the answers on the screen. ''So you want kitten come to play is that it?'' Yoongi bites his lip seductively. ''Then you have him.'' Yoongi reaches out of the screen and soon returns with pair of fluffy white kitten ears top of his head and holding something in his hands which is dangerously similar to butt plug attached to fluffy tail.  Your breathing hitches and you are turning hot despite the fact that you are only wearing loose shirt with pair of panties. You look with lustful eyes when Yoongi finally begins to open his buttons slowly one at the time. His pale skin comes more visible along the every button he opens. When the final button is opened the shirt falls of his shoulders. Yoongi's body is slim but not without any muscles. All his body hair is shaved of and there is only bare soft skin visible. ''Master I have been good boy, can I take my boxers of? I'm turning so hard when I think of you'' Yoongi's innocent but lustful eyes makes you feel that his desires are only focused on you, his stare pierces you trough the camera. ''Ah why not? You want me to play with my nipples first?'' Yoongi seems to follow always the most popular demands or the comments which are voted the highest. On the site are two small chat boxes, first one is the live chat ,which is  going wild, and second smaller one next to the video player where you can see the most popular messages. Yoongi puts his fingers on his mouth and licks each of them carefully keeping eye contact with the camera. He slides his fingers slowly along his neck until they reach his left nipple which he pinches between his fingers. small mewl leaves his soft lips and you gasp. He looks extremely delicious. ''Mmh, master you make me feel so good.'' Yoongi whines and closes his eyes.  He rolls his nipple between his thump and index finger and repeats the whole process with his right nipple. Yoongi opens his eyes again slowly and slides his hand along his body right above his boxers. ''Can I touch myself now?'' Yoongi smiles happily for permission he has gained and his hand disappears into his pants. You have had enough. You close the tab quickly while heat climbs on your face. You feel too hot and bothered and have no way to relief it. Sure you could try to masturbating but you didn't know exactly how. If you would have kept looking Yoongi you were sure that your situation would turn even worse. You shake your head trying to clear your mind. Your tiredness is long gone and you decide to head for cold shower. ~ You are grateful that its your day of when you wake up from your slumber. You were barely able to get any rest because every time you closed your eyes image of half naked Yoongi arching his back attacked your poor soul with full force. You slouch to your kitchen and open your fridge but you are greeted only with the fridge's light. You have forgotten to go food shopping, again. You sigh in defeat and close the fridge with slam. Its time to you go to eat breakfast out. When you head back to your sleeping area an idea pops to your head and you reach for your phone. Yoongi answers after few beeps. Yoongi: ''Hi Y/N, missing me already?'' Yoongi's voice is raspy from sleep, you probably woke him up or at least he haven't been awake for long. You: ''After the show you pulled last night you bet.'' Yoongi: Ah, so you were watching. I hope that I didn't shock your little innocent mind.'' Small chuckle leaves from his lips. You: '' To be honest I wasn't able to watch it till the end. Your stream got too...intense.'' Yoongi: ''Hmm, I see. So why did you call me so early this morning?'' You:   ''I was wondering that would you like to go eat breakfast with me?'' Yoongi: ''Sounds fun, sure. Where do you wanna go?'' You: ''Actually I was hoping that you have some ideas.'' Yoongi: ''Okay, in that case I have a great idea. I text you the address. How about we meet there hour from now?'' You: ''Sounds good. See you then.'' Yoongi: '' Bye, see you soon.'' Yoongi hangs up the call and jolt into action. You are truly grateful for yourself that you don't have to hurry for wash up because your late cold shower yesterday. You open your closet and begin to go rapidly trough your clothes. After thinking for little while you end up with brown checkered dress with white undershirt, black knee length socks and pair of black ballerina shoes. You only add slightly mascara and light lip gloss and put your hair on loose braid. You put your essentials on your small back bag familiar from Taehyung's date and head out. When you arrive to the address which Yoongi has given to you he is already sitting on the furthest corner booth which he has been able to find from small restaurant. There is quite lot people despite the early hour, so you assume that the place is quite popular. The restaurant is small with cozy feeling. The walls are painted in half with soft orange and the other half is covered with dark wooden panels. You sit opposite of Yoongi which is leaning on the wall his eyes closed. grey beanie is pulled over his messy black hair and he is wearing loose black hoodie with blue sweatpants. ''Hi.'' You greet Yoongi and he grunts in response. ''Didn't you sleep well?'' You are starting to feel that early breakfast wasn't the best idea with Yoongi. Yoongi must hear your uncertainty from your voice because he opens his eyes slowly. ''I'm not used to get up this early, I slept just fine.''  Yoongi yawns and rubs his eyes. A waitress comes to your table wearing white apron over her clothes. The woman is on her late fifties, her face covered with too much make up and her brown hair has definitely too much hair spray. She chews gum in her mouth loudly when she pulls notebook and pen from her pocket. ''Good morning Yoongi, am I finally seeing your girlfriend?'' The waitress asks and smiles widely so her teeth is showing. ''Morning Dora, no this is Y/N my friend.'' Yoongi chuckles softly and you blush slightly. ''Then what the hell is wrong with you? She is pretty lady isn't she?'' Dora asks and makes  fake gesture almost smacking Yoongi's head with her notebook. Those two seems pretty close. ''Tell me Y/N what you think about our Yoongi here, isn't he the most sweetest?'' ''Yeah,he is sweet like a suga.'' You giggle to yourself and Yoongi sends warning glare towards you. ''He is indeed, anyway what I can get to you darlings?'' Dora changes the subject and clicks her pen ready to take your orders. ''Actually we didn't look the menu yet.'' Yoongi tells and Dora sighs. ''You take the same thing anyway, a coffee, black no sugar, huge omelette paired with two slices of toast and glass of water. Am I right?''  Dora lists with her fingers. ''Well you are right, but Y/N is here for the first time.'' ''May I recommend something for you sweetie?'' Dora asks for you and you nod. ''Try our chocolate chip pancakes paired with orange juice and if you are friend of coffee our coffee is famous for its rich aroma.'' ''Well everything else sounds good, but I don't drink coffee.'' You are quick to agree. ''Let's go wit these then. I will be back shortly with your food.'' Dora tells and hurries towards kitchen. ''You seem to come here quite often.'' You point when Dora is away. ''Yeah, I live on the third floor of the building.'' Yoongi shrugs. ''Quite handy.'' You admit. ''It is.'' Yoongi agrees. ''So, about my show yesterday, did you like it?'' ''You are going straight to the point.'' You are jealous how easily Yoongi speaks about sex related stuff, maybe you would too if you would expose your body to strangers for living. ''To be honest I didn't think you are submissive.'' You tell your thoughts. ''I can be very dominant if I want to.'' Yoongi whispers leaning closer in way that his lips almost brushes yours. You feel how you turn bright like tomato and Yoongi chuckles pulling away. ''To be honest I have tried that dominant stuff on camera, but it wasn't as popular as me playing sweet and innocent. People enjoy the contrast of me looking like mean bastard but acting like innocent lamb.'' Yoongi continues with low voice. ''I-I see.'' Is all that you can answer. What Yoongi told explains a lot to you. You have always felt the need to not make him mad when you are around him. ''I heard that Jimin's play is premiering on next Saturday.'' Yoongi has mercy on you and changes the subject. ''Yeah, I'm excited for it. i have seen bits and pieces from here and there but I haven't bee able to see it as whole.'' You tell smiling widely when you think about how much you are looking forward to your friend's debut on stage. Dora arrives with your food and you are amazed how she is able to carry both of your order all at once. ''Enjoy your food.'' She winks to both of you and sweeps to serve other customers. You are barely able to say your thank yous when she is gone. You take small bite from your pancake and moan. It's so sweet and delicious that you regret that you haven't tasted it before. Yoongi glances you with unreadable expression when he takes a sip from his coffee. You eat in comfortable silence and neither of you feel the need full the space with meaningless chitchat. When you are ready Yoongi insist on paying the bill and you have no other choice than obey when he slips the bill to Dora alongside her tip. Yoongi takes your hand and lead you outside of the restaurant. Even tough his fingers are slender his hold is firm. Yoongi rounds the building and arrives to front door which leads to residential floors of the building. Suddenly he halts and you look him curiously. ''Shit, I forgot to ask you that do you wanna even come up. I was just going to drag you to my place.'' Yoongi chuckles awkwardly and lets go of your hand. ''Well I'm following you , aren't I?'' You tease and Yoongi sighs in relief. ''So you coming?'' ''Of course, I wanna see where the all mighty Min Yoongi lives.'' You tell and Yoongi rolls his eyes to your words. ~   Yoongi lives in large apartment with four rooms. You have good view to his apartment from his entrance. Hallway straight from the entrance leads to his living room and alongside of the hallway is two closed doors and one open doorway leading to his kitchen. The hallways walls are plain white without any decorations, but what you can except from a man who lives alone. You follow Yoongi to his living room where TV in front of window and old looking leather couch heading towards it. Next to living room window is a door which leads into small balcony. ''So you enjoy minimalist style?'' You try to joke. ''Hahaa, no. I'm not good with decorating.'' Yoongi admits rubbing his neck. Yoongi sits on the couch and you follow sitting on the free spot next to him. ''Soo what now?'' You ask when Yoongi keeps staring the black screen.

''I'm trying to think.'' ''Think about what?'' ''How to start our lesson smoothly.'' Suddenly Yoongi grins wickedly and turns sideways towards you. ''Our lesson?'' You are taken by surprise. ''Yes, are you sure you can handle me kitten?'' Big gulp leaves from your throat when you nod. Yoongi gets up from the couch and offers his hand. ~ Yoongi leads you into his bedroom and pushes you gently to his bed. You aren't in the same room where Yoongi's camshow has taken place, instead you were in bedroom with lime colored walls. This room was more decorated than all the rooms combined where you have been before in his home. Yoongi's bed frame was made of painted black wood and his bed sheets were plainly white. On the floor was round black carpet and on the bedroom walls was tons of posters about bands and people that you have never even heard of before. Your mind mapping of the room is disturbed when Yoongi sits next to you on the bed. Somehow you have missed when he had taken his hoodie of and he is only wearing white loose top and his sweatpants.  Yoongi begins to pet your hair softly. ''Have you ever been naked in front of anyone before?'' Yoongi asks suddenly and you tense under his gentle touch. Surely you knew that you had to be naked for sex but it was a part you didn't wait with excitement. ''No.'' Comes your tense answer. ''Would you be willing to get naked in front of me?'' Yoongi doesn't stop his petting on your hair. ''Well... Only if you do the same.'' You agree after little bit hesitation. ''Sure I don't mind. After all I get naked in front of camera daily.'' Yoongi chuckles lightly. ''What's with that anyway, I mean why you want to have sex in front of camera?'' You ask curiously and get on sitting position. Yoongi stops the petting and looks into your eyes. ''When I was younger I was super uncomfortable with my body. I thought I wasn't good enough, I don't gain weight easily and all over media men are bumped up hunks and that surely didn't help me.  To say it bluntly I was one day watching porn and I ended up on live sex site. I was amazed how confident the actresses and actors looked and behaved on camera. They felt no shame over themselfs and there was everything for everyone. I returned to that site over and over again, sometimes I didn't even jerk of for the material I just enjoyed watching their confidence. I become regular viewer of camshow by guy named Mark. I was surely surprised when I found out he lives in the same town than I do. I collected all the courage what I had and send him private message. We met face to face and we talked a lot. Even that was surprising to me that Mark was quiet and calm, which was far form his camera persona. Anyway... My first live shows was with Mark until I was brave enough to do it on my own. '' Yoongi speaks more than ever since you have know him by one sitting. ''Wow.'' Is only thing you can get out of your mouth. ''I'm not saying that you should start have sex in front of camera, but you never get confidence about your body If you just hide under all those clothes.'' Yoongi smiles softly. You know that he is right, of course he is. ''Okay.'' You take a deep breath and reach for the hem of your dress. You pull it of and are left in front of Yoongi only wearing your undershirt, panties and knee length socks. You feel extremely shy and try avoiding Yoongi's gaze. ''Hey, you have nothing to be ashamed of.'' Yoongi tells and pulls your shin up with his index finger. Nothing but pure sincerity shines trough his eyes. Yoongi lets go of your shin and pulls his top of. ''It's only fair that I'm half naked as well.'' Yoongi offers you crooked smile. ''Are you willing to take that shirt of?'' Yoongi ads this time gently. You hesitate only little when you pull your undershirt of as well. Your bright red bra doesn't match with your black bra but Yoongi doesn't seem to mind. Yoongi takes your hands on your sides and put them on your breasts. You look him surprised. ''What are you doing?'' ''Today's lesson is about touching yourself.'' Yoongi smirks. Yoongi's mood seems to change today from zero to hundred in seconds. ''I bet that you didn't touch yourself while watching me.'' His voice is getting lower and huskier. ''I wish you did.'' He sighs. You feel blush reaching your cheeks and look your hands on your breasts with wonder. '' I wanted to.'' You admit shyly. ''Good. First I want you to squeeze your breasts gently, just feel them.'' Yoongi demands and you follow his instructions. Sure you have touched your breasts before but never when someone else is watching. The idea being watched turns you slightly  on. The feeling is familiar form your's and Taehyung's date. ''Swipe your nipples gently over your bra.'' Yoongi adds and you brush your nipples slightly. Slightly ticklish sensation follows the action.  ''Can you do the same without your bra?'' Yoongi asks gently. ''O-okay.'' You reach for the clip behind your bra and slide it of from your shoulders. As soon as cold air hits your bare mounds you cover yourself. ''I feel so ugly.'' ''Hey, I'm taking none of that shit. Y/N you are fucking beautiful.'' Yoongi frowns and  puts his hands on your wrists and tug them gently. You take deep breath and let him pull your hands away. ''So pretty.'' Yoongi swipes your right nipple gently while admiring your body. His hands leave you too soon and you look him unhappily. ''This is about you learning to touch your body and enjoying yourself, not me doing it for you. At least this time.'' Yoongi winks and you feel butterflies going wild in your stomach. This time?   Yoongi coughs and tries to regain his composure. ''Put you hands back to your breasts again.'' Yoongi tells and you obey him with little more confidence after his compliment. ''Squeeze your breasts and swipe your nipples again, after that take your nipples between your thump and index fingers and pinch them gently.'' You do what you have been told and you feel how your nipples turn more erected and how heat begins to pool in your belly. Yoongi's eyes darken when he follows your actions. ''Put your thump and index finger in your mouth and swipe your tongue around them. Good, shit, then suck them and roll your nipple with your wet fingers.'' Small mewl leaves your mouth when you follow Yoongi's directions. ''Now repeat with other hand and breast.'' You make the mistake of looking up Yoongi and your actions halt. He seems to be as much affected as you even though no one is touching him. His hands are squeezed in tight fists so his knuckles shine trough his pale skin. His gaze is darker and he is biting his lower lip lustfully. The most oblivious sing of his arousal is his hardening dick in his pants. ''I didn't tell you to stop kitten.'' Yoongi chuckles darkly. ''or perhaps you are ready to go little bit more South, is that it?'' Yoongi's smirk makes him look like a cat who is enjoying it's prey. Yoongi takes your hand and leads it to rim of your panties where is clearly visible wet spot. ''It seems you do.'' Yoongi says when he notices the wetness in your underwear. ''Hold still.'' Yoongi commands and reaches his nightstand's drawer. He pulls out tube of lube. He waves it front of you and smirks for your awkwardness. ''Even tough you are getting wet I wan't to make sure that this isn't going to be painful to you.'' Quick gentle smile visits his face but lustful look replaces it quickly. Your other hand is still between your crotch and your other hand is supporting you on the bed. ''Are you ready to take those panties of?''   ''I have came this far, it would be a shame give up at this point.'' You admit and reach for your pantyline. Despite your confident words your hand is shaking. Before you can regret it you push your hips slightly up and remove your underwear. Only piece of clothing remaining on you is your socks. ''Fuck. You are so hot, your pretty pussy is already glistering.'' Yoongi gets up from the bed and pulls his pants and boxers down in one go. His hard dick pops up in view and you swallow. You don't know how someone as beautiful as Yoongi has been able to feel uncomfortable about his body, but that's how feelings works. Yoongi sits back next to you and pushes your back against the bedpost. ''Spear those legs for me, will ya? Remember how you pinched and rolled your nipples, this time we do the same to your clit.'' Yoongi guides your hand between your legs. You roll your fingers slowly around your sensitive nub and your breathing turns irrational.  Yoongi watches little while while you work your clit until he interrupts you. ''Give me your hand.'' You obey and Yoongi  pours lube on your fingers. ''Now slowly insert your finger inside of your hole and pull and push it slowly inside and out.'' You have never fingered yourself and the feeling of your own index finger entering your heat feels shameful and extremely good at the same time. Surely you were wet already but you were grateful for the lube which warmed fast on your fingers. ''If you are comfortable enough you can.''  Yoongi gulps. ''You can add second finger.'' So you do. Even though the stretch is wider this time you get used to it after while thanks to Taehyung's skilled fingers ,which visited your heat when you visited Aquarium. You feel the familiar knot tightening but still you aren't quite there yet. ''Yoongi, I need something more.'' You admit between gasps of breath. ''Fuck it. I have changed my mid, I'll help ya.'' Yoongi curses and puts his thump on your clit adding pressure to it. With the help of Yoongi's action and visual stimulation, which is Yoongi's fucked out face and naked body, you feel yourself falling apart. If you weren't leaning on the bedpost you would have collapsed on the bed legs shaking. When you come back your high your eyes, which went closed during your climax, opens slowly.  Your eyes turn wide when you see Yoongi jerking himself of next to you. His eyes are tightly shut and he is bumping his shaft which is coated with lube. The slick sound which is leaving from his jerking of makes you heated despite the fact you just came. Yoongi grunts loudly when he finally comes his hips slightly rising of the mattress. Spurs of seed coats his hand when he finally opens his eyes panting heavily. It takes only little for Yoongi to recover when he gives you his familiar gummy smile. 

You are panting on your bed recovering from your high. You had bee watching Yoongi's live show and you were finally able to watch it till the end because now you knew how to relive yourself. You would have never thought that pleasuring yourself could feel this good. Your phone dings next to you on your bed and you roll over reaching for it. You are still shaking slightly from after waves. *Dear L/N Y/N, Your shipment has arrived to package vending machine on address ***********. You are able to receive it by code 123435fx2.* You grin widely, your new vibrator has arrived.

[gaysin-space]

All 150 questions 😌😌😌

I can’t with you omg WHY DO THIS TO ME?! (jk you know I love it)

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My girlfriend aka the lil shit who sent me all these

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Both? Like depends on the situation

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Well I just booked Hamilton tickets so imma go with the whole cast, does that count?

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so? Idk

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Yeah she would, she takes care of me a lot tbh

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Someone who can make me laugh and who makes me happy and who I can spend time with talking about all kinds of crap and we both enjoy it just because it’s us

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I better fucking be, what you trying to say mate?!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

My dad, I just want him to be okay

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

It can do? Like I don’t really like talking about my own sex life but other peoples I’m fine with idk

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Idk? Does my mentor count?

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“IM SOR- I’m sorry” which is funny okay

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Call on me, satisfied, burn, helpless, castle on the hill

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes omggggg so much

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yep, you can be lucky and have good things happen to you but miracles are things that happen that you don’t expect and turn out to make situations so much better 

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got to see my girlfriend and she met her fave?

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yes, of course, always

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

YES OMG PLEASE

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Lol no? 

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yeah I actually do omg

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Fuck no.

21. What are you bad habits?

Biting my nails and the skin around them (soz babe)

22. Where would you like to travel?

Australia is my first option always because of my baby cousin

23. Do you have trust issues?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH yeah

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

None? I don’t really have one tbh

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My legs I guess 

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check my phone 

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mum? or my gf tbh

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

No? if they have i’ve forgotten 

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes omg

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yeah, i want it shorter tho

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

I mean? All of them??

33. Spell your name with your chin.

ccrd\ 

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Noooooope

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Oh boy have I

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Anything and everything

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Cheesy I know but my gf 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Primark tbh and waterstones 

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Well im at uni rn but after that i wanna settle down and have a family

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yes but only if they make an impact on my day to day life

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

It could mean anything from me being triggered to me being in pain

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah i do 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPACE MOTHER FUCKERS

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

The fact that i have to?

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lol everything?

47. Have you ever been high?

God no.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Hell yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Nope

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Sometimes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My negativity tbh

53. Favourite makeup brand?

NYX

54. Favourite store?

does food count? Coz costa omg

55. Favourite blog?

My whole dash is my fave so everyone omg

56. Favourite colour?

Blue

57. Favourite food? 

Cheesy chips omg

58. Last thing you ate?

Cheesy chips and chicken nuggets omg

59. First thing you ate this morning?

A wispa bar omg

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I dont think so?

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love? 

I guess so?

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Oh god, i was young omg idk i just remember his name was dylan apparently

65. Are you hungry right now?

I dont actually know omg Im in pain tho

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I mean they are my real friends so???

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Molly, Lily, G and Derrelle (Stop i know okay)

71. Craving something? What?

Chocolate omg

72. What colour are your towels?

White and blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I used to

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Oh god alot omg

75. Favourite animal?

Wolf or cat

76. What colour is your underwear?

Red

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla but both tbh

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Mint choc chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Grey

80. What colour pants?

Black

81. Favourite tv show?

Voltron lets be real

82. Favourite movie?

10 things i hate about you

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls (Ive never seen the second one omg)

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

21 Jump street omg

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janis

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

The sassy starfish

87. First person you talked to today?

My mentor

88. Last person you talked to today?

My housemate

89. Name a person you hate?

Theres a few

90. Name a person you love?

My mum

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Not really

92. In a fight with someone?

not that i know of

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

only one

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 10? more?

95. Last movie you watched?

Sing!

96. Favourite actress?

I dont really have one?

97. Favourite actor?

Dylan o’Brien

98. Do you tan a lot?

I can tan quickly?

99. Have any pets?

1 cat my baby

100. How are you feeling?

Meh but im just tired

101. Do you type fast?

I think so omg

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Oh yeah alot

103. Can you spell well?

i guess im okay omg

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I do sometimes im not gonna lie

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

sadly yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

When i was a kid yeah

108. What should you be doing?

Nothing i dont think?

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Not really, i dont think so

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yep

111. Do you have trust issues?

yessssssss

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My gf i think

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Franny

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yep

115. Do you play the Wii?

I used to

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah, the Hamilton soundtrack

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

I dont think ive ever had it?

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Only when im craving it omg

119. Favourite book?

The realm of possibility 

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

I am omg

121. Are you mean?

I can be when i feel i need to be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No, fuck no.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

No omg

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe you can be infatuated with someone when you first meet them

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah… It gives me hope i guess

126. Are you currently bored?

No im in pain omg

127. What makes you happy?

My boys and the people i choose to surround myself with

128. Would you change your name?

Nah too many people know it now

129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra

130. Do you like subway?

Yeah 

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Nothing because they know im gay so they know it wont happen

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I think it was my housemate?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

When you��re wearyAnd the road is darkAnd I’ll guide youWith the beating of my heart

134. Can you count to one million?

Nah I’d get too bored and give up

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

That i was taller than i actually am omg

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed but open at home

137. How tall are you?

5′6 i think?

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Curly

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette 

140. Summer or Winter?

Winterrrrrr

141. Night or Day?

Day

142. Favourite month?

December 

143. Are you a vegetarian?

no omg 

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk pls

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea

146. Was today a good day?

It was long but okay

147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

I hate the way you’re always rightI hate it when you lieI hate it when you make me laughEven worse when you make me cry

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yep

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“my gift to her is that she shall become uglier with everyday that passes” 

[sarcasticlykaeon-blog]

Caught Between Worlds

Stuck. Thats how it felt, every hour of every day, for as long as I could remember. Like i was some sort of freak, on the outside looking in. I can remember when i was small, barely old enough to really walk and talk, two and a half, three...and i hated dresses. I hated pink. I hated lace and frills. If i could choose or make my will known it was pants. Tshirts and sweatshirts. Childrens overalls. I hated games in preschool. The girls always wanted to play house, with husbands and babies in some sort of elaborate roleplay. The boys wouldnt let me play with them. "No girls," theyd say. "You wont know how," or "girls arent any good at this. Go play with dolls." somehow...just because i didnt have the same lower regions i wasnt good enough. So i played alone, with blocks or toys, making up elaborate adventures or stories in the process. My mother, my aunts, my grandmother...they all wanted me to be a girl. They tried to take me underwing in baking, playing with makeup, dressup, dolls...they tried to teach me about playing with hair. Me? I just wanted to test out the new computer, watch ninja turtles, and kick butt like she-ra. My one concession to female marketed programs was Jem...but honestly? I loved the story and drama, not the glamour, glitter, fashion, or fame. I was the oldest...five years between me and my brother meant i was dads son substitute until i was almost 11. I learned things like changing the oil in a car, ms-dos programming and how to kick ass in Doom, how to tackle and fight back if grabbed by a bigger opponent. Of course...the instant my middle brother was old enough to do son things....fwip! I was ignored. About the only thing i could get the old man to do was D&D. My grandfather insisted it was a phase i would grow out of, that id become a seeker of a strong man and an actual woman eventually. My mother tried to force me to conform to gender standards. My aunt was disappointed. My father only started caring about gender normativity when i hit puberty. I never told them things like "i want to grow up to be a boy" because even at three, i knew it didnt work that way, on some instinctual level. But i dod wail and growl about the unfairness. Why is x okay for boys but not girls? Why are girls expected to be like this but boys arent? And the answer...oh the answer just upset me and angered me. "Because youre expected to be a young lady." By puberty, the words "young lady" were guarenteed to trigger a huge emotional fit of rage...but i couldnt explain why. Just like the fact that i had to fight for my place amidst whatever boys lived in the neighborhood. I had to work twice as hard to prove i was worthy of being allowed to hang out...and still they sought to ditch me at every opportunity. School was even worse. I was overly tall, strong, and hyper intelligent. I was part of the "Gifted Program" (which in most school systems is naught but busy work or a careful way to set up classes in high school to fix the averages of a class.) I was, in every concievable way the outcast. And then puberty found me. Early. The first time i bled in sixth grade, i cried myself to sleep, hiding blood ruined underwear in the back of my closet until i could throw it away. I didnt tell my mother until i was sixteen--hiding this horrid, agonizingly painful thing that happened to me once a month. When i grew breasts i hated them. I hated bras. And of course, i have breasts that grew huge. I survive with super tight sports bras and tshirts because nothing else fits my fucked up frame: ive got broad shoulders, long legs, and huge feet (size 12 womens, which is impossible to find), and im like 5'8". Id be taller but my arms and torso are short, and ive got wide hips and huge breasts and butt. I hated my body and i still do. I feel like i was a crapshoot built out of the mismatched leftovers of several people. And the shit my parents tried to enforce for gender conformity to this "new identity of a young lady." first was acne management. I wasnt a pizza face, but i did and still do have a bit of an issue with blackheads (Glasses have that effect.) But my parents tried to force me to pop my zits...and when i refused because it hurt, they basically held me down and popped them for me. Then was "shaving my legs". Okay. Underarms i get because pits stink. I shave those because it feels less stanky when i do. But their issue? My legs. I refused to do it. "Boys dont, why do i? Thats not fair!" i fought. Hard. But...like the zits...theyd hold me down and buzz my legs for me from knee to foot while i thrashed and begged...all to force on me a title i never wanted, a mold i didnt fit. And i didnt understand WHY. Why was my behavior, my life and interests and hobbies and clothing all supposed to be dictated by something so unimportant? And then...when i was sixteen, i met a person i hit it off with. A sweet and funny youth my age with hair as long as mine and a goofy smile on his face. In a few months we were dating long distance and i suspect my family sighed in relief that i wasnt a lesbian. Our fathers got to be friends(which was useful, since 200miles between us put a crimp in relations.) But this had another side effect. You see, that next year i learned something id never heard before. Something id never considered until that day in 2002. His father...felt he was a woman trapped in a mans body. I was floored. This could happen? What? So i researched what i could to understand (there wasnt much, back then.) And...i began to wonder....because all I could find was for males becoming females. Even joked with my boyfriend that the universe "got us backwards" (he agreed, seeing as how he was girlier than me) And then it all crashed to a halt one night at dinner. His father, him, me, another mtf person and two other adults were at a restaurant, and the kne guy at the table with no knowledge on trans folks was asking questions. I listened, enraptured as the emotions and disconnects id always felt were described from the other side. Emboldened, 17, and perhaps seeking some form of connection or...validation for my feelings, i piped up, expressing how i felt the universe had gotten me backwards. That was the worst thing to say, as his father unloaded on me verbally for being mocking and insensitive and jumping on a bandwagon i had no business on. Treated me like i was being scum--damn near drove me to tears and made me feel small and useless. And i thought "if this is what trans ppl are like...i dont want to be like them ever." it crushed my desire to understand my gender identity and sexuality for years. It didnt help that as time went by ot seemed every trans person i encountered was one of two things: a dramawhore with the emotional stability of a 14year old girl, or someone like my bf's father who decided that i couldnt belong to his elitest club in a fashion that echoed years of "no girls allowed" from boys everywhere. The internets vast collection of professionally offended "keyboard warriors" who spew bigotry and hate and small minded idiocy while calling it "truth" or "just what X group deserves" is a steaming cesspit of shit I dont want to be part of on any level, and unfortunately many of them claim to be whatever "alternate" gender identity or sexuality is the fad this month. Its not winning me over at all, and made me shy further away from actual people i might be able to relate to...maybe who can help me. I finally did own up to something when i was 23--I was more sexually attracted to women than men. In fact...beyond a few emotion driven crushes as a teen, the only male i have ever found attractive was that same goofy, funny, smiling boy with the long hair...except these days hes my supportive, goofy, smiling mate with the softest heart of gold ive ever known inside a powerful and intimidatingly sized viking-esque exterior. But again...because on the outside, our relationship seems very "normal" im not welcomed much by the vocal minority and so im super wary of all parts of the lgbt crowd. I dont advertise or tell my relatives--my parents and their respective siblings are between 50 and 70 years old. They barely believe this stuff exists. I still dont want to be a girl. I dont want the societal expectations of it. I hate having breasts that risk knocking my teeth loose if i move too fast. And dont get me started on the fucking shit show that is my sex life. Its a complicated shit show that starts with the disconnect of parts and ends with kinks i can never actually engage in because, guess what? Im a GIRL. But at the same time, i stare at the only transmen examples and stories i can find, which seem to be rare and hidden somewhere, at places like fb and tumblr and twitter...at pride rallies and news stories...at stuff recounted by friends...and i dont want to be associated with people whose actions turn them into examples of literal human garbage. And so here i sit, caught between two worlds, never part of either one and feeling like im slowly drowning. It seems like one doesnt want me and the other i dont want... Im so tired of being stuck.