#tell me i’m cool and i’ll like become your chauffeur

[thepeachfuzz]

yeah sex is cool and all but have you ever had a friend tell you they were intimidated when you first met because you were so cool

[theowritesstuff]

Pretty Boy

Steve Harrington x gn!reader

BRIEF S4 VOL1 SPOILERS

Summary: Steve Harrington claims he doesn’t like it when you call him “pretty boy”, so why does it make him upset when you use the term on someone else?

A/N: Yes, I know that realistically there’s no way everyone fits in Steve’s car, but we’re gonna pretend

General Taglist: @nptnewr @violetrainbow412-blog

Everyone in Hawkins, Indiana, knew Steve Harrington. He had rich parents that never seemed to be home. He was the king of Hawkins High. He became the official-unofficial babysitter for a few of the kids who always found themselves in some form of trouble.

You’d seen the once-popular Steve grow to become who he was through being dragged on monster filled adventures with Dustin Henderson and his group of friends. You watched as he went from an apprehensive kid wrangler to someone who truly cared about the kids that hung around him all the time.

You watched him leave the kids on the bus to fight the demodogs, you watched him fight a Russian guard, you even watched him dive into Lover’s Lake to find a gate. Now, Steve had always been attractive. Hell, he was Steve “the hair” Harrington in high school. But it wasn’t until you’d seen him grow into who he had become now that you realized you might have feelings for the used to be king.

All of the events post-El had turned him into a slightly awkward, yet still charming, idiot dork. But he still had the same handsome face and hair that people praised him for, and you made sure to remind him every day.

The bell jingled as you walked into Family Video. Robin was re-shelving videos, while Steve was at the counter, seemingly in an argument with Dustin and Mike.

“Hey dingus, Y/n’s here.” Robin called out to Steve, who was too busy arguing with the younger boys to notice you had walked in.

“God, can’t everyone just leave me alone for one goddamn day?” He asked running a hand through his hair.

“You wouldn’t ever want me to leave, would you Harrington?” You asked, your hand over your heart, and a fake look of hurt on your face.

Steve’s head snapped up in your direction at the sound of your voice. He looked surprised to see you, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. His hair had fallen in his face again, now hanging loosely in front of his eyes.

“Y/n! I uh, I didn’t hear you come in.” He said.

“Obviously.” Robin mumbled.

Steve shot her a glare, then looked back at you. You walked over to the small group and stood in front of Steve, between Dustin and Mike. You pushed his hair back, out of his face, then softly brushed against his cheek.

Steve had to keep himself from letting out a sigh, and leaning into your touch. He was so obviously head over heels in love with you. Fighting monsters from another dimension together will do that to you, what was it Nancy and Jonathan called it? Shared trauma? Robin constantly teased him about his inability to keep his cool when he was around you, telling him to just grow up and ask you out.

Steve had tried on many occasions to muster up the courage to ask you out, but always managed to make himself look like a flustered fool, never quite getting the words out, and often times being interrupted by one of the many children that always seem to be following him around.

“So why are the kids delighting you with their presence today?” You asked now leaning against the counter.

“We need a ride to Hellfire Club, and Steve won’t drive us.” Mike grumbled.

“That’s because I’m not your chauffeur.” Steve snapped.

You furrowed your brows. “I’ll drive you.” You shrugged.

“Thank you so much for your help Y/n! It’s nice to see that someone here cares about us!” Dustin said, waving his arms around, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Oh boys, pretty boy here cares about you.” You squished his cheeks between your hands. “He’s probably just tired from reshelving videos all day.” You pouted, giving Steve your best doe eyes.

Steve pushed your hands away and scoffed. “Pretty boy? Really?”

“Prettiest boy in Hawkins.” You smirked.

“Gross.” Dustin said.

“So when’s Hellfire?” You asked the kids.

“Tonight.” Mike replied.

“Cool. It’ll be nice to see Eddie again.” You said.

Steve rolled his eyes. Sure, Eddie was a decent guy, and not the murderer that most of Hawkins thought he was, but that didn’t make Steve like him any more.

He vividly remembers Eddie staying by your side whilst in the Upside Down, never giving him a moment to be with you. He remembers Nancy patching him up, because Eddie was talking to you so much that you must not have noticed Steve got hurt. He heard when Eddie flirted with you, giving you winks, brushing up against you.

It made Steve want to rip his own hair out. How on earth was it possible for someone who hadn’t known you before to be so confident in himself while flirting with you? While Steve had known you for a while now, and still stumbled over his words when talking to you.

“Alright, I’ll pick you guys up at 7 and take you to Eddie’s.” You ruffled Mike’s hair, then tapped the brim of Dustin’s hat.

You started to head out, but turned back to Steve. “See you later pretty boy!”

“Don’t call me that!” He shouted back to you.

The bell chimed once again as you left. Steve sighed, then turned back to the two kids in front of him.

“Smooth dude. Smooth.” Dustin said.

“Shut up Henderson.” Steve scoffs.

That night you picked up Dustin, Mike, and Lucas from Mike’s house, and drove them to Eddie’s. You could see him standing outside, the light coming out from his open door creating a glow around his silhouette.

You got out with the boys, and walked up to Eddie. Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Will all rushed inside, too excited to set up for the game to greet their dungeon master.

“Staying for Hellfire tonight L/n?” Eddie asked.

You shook your head. “No, I just came to drop off the kids.”

“Where’s Harrington?”

“Didn’t wanna chauffeur them around tonight.”

Eddie laughs to himself. It’s crazy to think that a group of kids could turn them into their own personal babysitters.

“How’re things going with you two?”

You sigh. Eddie had pretty much known you had a crush on Steve from the moment he’d seen you two. It only confirmed his thoughts when you dived into the lake seconds after he was pulled under.

“Things are nonexistent between the two of us.” You told him. “I’ve tried to be more obvious, so either he hasn’t noticed, or he just doesn’t care.” You shrug.

Eddie takes a second to think to himself, then raises an eyebrow at you. “Have you thought about making him jealous?”

“Making him jealous?”

“Yeah, show him that if he doesn’t want your attention you’ll give it to someone else.” He shrugs.

Eddie watches you as you silently think about it. His eyes pull away from you when someone calls his name from inside.

“I gotta go, but tomorrow! Family Video! 2 o’clock! Trust me!” He calls out to you as he goes inside.

The next day you drove to Family Video around two o’clock, just like Eddie had told you to. You walked in to see Steve and Robin working, and Eddie leaning against the counter.

Steve was the first to see you this time, straightening himself up, and sending you a small smile. “Hey Y/n.”

Robin greeted you next, and when it was Eddie’s turn he simply smirked at you and said “Hey sweetheart.”

All three of you seemed surprised at his greeting. Robin’s face scrunched up in confusion, and slight disgust, while you’re eyes widened.

Steve’s grip on the broom he was holding tightened. His jaw clenched as he watched Eddie eye you up and down.

Eddie waltzes over to you, and throws an arm around your shoulder. “I was thinking that maybe I could rent a movie, and you could come over, and we could watch it together?” He asks, low enough for it to seem like he’s flirting with you, but loud enough for Steve to hear.

“Well, Steve and I usually watch the kids-” You start.

“I’m sure he won’t mind, right Stevie?” Eddie asks, throwing a glance in his direction.

“No, of course not.” Steve grits out.

“Perfect.” Eddie smirks, and pulls you down a row of video tapes.

You leave whilst Eddie rents the video. “Bye Robin! Bye pretty boy!”

Steve’s head turns in your direction when you say “pretty boy”, ready to comment, but deflates when he realizes you’ve called Eddie “pretty boy”.

“Bye Steve.” You sound less enthusiastic in your farewell to Steve.

He gives you a small, awkward wave as you exit the shop.

Steve had somehow convinced Robin to join him in babysitting duty for the night, watching Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, El, and Will make their way around the arcade.

Steve and Robin sat at a small table, facing each other. Steve leaned against the booth, a dramatic pout on his face. Robin had become exasperated by his behavior around the fifth time he sighed.

“What the hell dude? So Eddie steals Y/n away for the night, and you don’t even put up a fight? You don’t even try to get them back?” She nudges Steve’s arm.

“I don’t know, if Y/n likes Eddie who am I to try to stop them from hanging out?” He says.

Robin feels like she wants to scream. “Y/n doesn’t like Eddie! Y/n likes you, dingus!” She exclaims.

Steve scoffs. “Yeah, that’s why they ditched me to hang out with Munson.”

“You know, you really are an idiot Steve.” Robin says. El and Mike walk by when Robin stops them. “Hey guys, out of curiosity, who do you think Y/n has feelings for?”

“Steve, duh.” Mike shrugs.

El nods. “Y/n says he’s pretty.”

“Thanks.” Robin lets them go, then turns back to Steve.

He sits completely still, staring off into space, the information he’s just been told slowly processing.

Robin waits for him to say something, and smiles when he shuts his eyes tight and runs his hands through his hair.

“Shit.” He sighs.

Robin nearly laughs. “Yeah. Shit.”

Steve jumps up from the booth, and looks for the kids. “Hey, dickheads! Come here!” He shouts, earning disapproving looks from the other parents there.

All of the kids gather by the table, allowing Steve to count them off, making sure everyone is there.

“Alright, family game night’s been cut short, we’re taking you home.” He tells them.

The kids all groan as Steve ushers them out of the arcade and back to his car. It’s a tight squeeze, but once everyone’s in he speeds down the road.

He drops the kids at the Wheeler’s house, where they get their bikes and ride the rest of the way home. He drops off Robin next, then drives to your house, hoping that you’re home.

You’re confused to hear an incessant knocking on your door, and surprised when you open it to see Steve Harrington, hair mussed up, and hands fidgeting at his sides.

“Hey Steve, is everything okay?” You ask.

Steve walks past you into your house, then starts pacing. His eyes are glued to the floor, a look of concentration on his face.

“Steve, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me…” You walk over to him, and place a hand on his arm.

“Do you like Eddie?” He blurts out.

You pull back, stunned at his outburst. “What?”

“Do you like Eddie?” He asks again, this time his voice is more even.

You cross your arms over your chest. “So what if I do, what’s it to you?”

Steve scoffs, and turns away. “You really don’t see it do you?”

“See what Steve?”

“See that I have feelings for you. I have feelings for you, and I have for a long time. And I’ve been shit at hiding them, so I don’t know how you missed it.” He steps closer to you, a new possessive air about him. “And I know that I would be so much better for you than Eddie Munson. I would worship you.” He’s now standing chest to chest with you.

You’re not sure when this uber-confidence returned in Steve, but you have to admit, it looks good on him.

“That so, pretty boy?” You ask, tilting your head up so your noses are brushing against each other.

He leans down, and captures your lips in a kiss. It’s hungry, it’s passionate, it’s Steve staking his claim. He only pulls away from you when he feels a burning in his lungs.

“So, what do you say Y/n? Be mine?” He asks, out of breath.

His hair falls in your face, tickling your forehead. You reach up, and push it back.

“I’m yours pretty boy.”

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Stay with me - tony stark x fem!reader

A/N: I've re entered my marvel phase once again and I'm not mad about it! I'm so desperate to see Black Widow it looks so good! Anyway enjoy this. The details about panic attacks are based on my personal experiences but they can effect different people in different ways.

Warnings: Panic attacks, swearing

***= Time Skip

Word Count: 2680

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Guys I’m going to be fine. I always am. It was a one-time thing, I promise” I sighed as Nat, Steve and Bruce followed me into the kitchen of the avengers compound.

“We just want you to be okay, it didn’t exactly look like you enjoyed the experience.” Nat said sitting opposite me.

“You almost passed out. That happening while your out is the last thing any of us want for you.” Bruce added. I sipped my drink, not wanting to continue this conversation. The team had becoming increasingly cautious around me since I had a really bad panic attack last week. The truth is I’ve been dealing with them since I was a kid, before I’d even met any of the avengers, I just learnt how to hide them. But last week, things got too much, and I lost control. I don’t remember much but evidently everyone found out. They thought this was a new thing to me and were now trying to wrap me up like some sort of fragile object.

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to be with Casey, and I’m literally just going to be sat in an office all day. The hardest thing I will have to do is battle her shitty coffee machine” I joked, trying to get them to drop the subject. My best friend Casey had asked me to come into work with her to sort through a bunch of files that her boss had dumped on her after she broke up with him. I have no clue what she actual does but she was apparently ‘up to her tits’ in paperwork so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to join her. Just then my phone rang.

“Hey Case, I’m just about to leave. Yeah I’ll meet you at the station. Okay cool. Bye” I hung up and grabbed my bag. “Well, this has been fun, but I have a train to catch so I’ll see you all later.” As I turned to leave I felt someone grab my arm, pulling me back.

“You’re not getting the train. Get happy to take you.” Steve said causing me to roll my eyes.

“Steve I’m not a child, I’m capable of getting a train. Plus, it’s not Happy’s job to chauffeur me around, he has tony for that.” I replied.

“Who has me for what?” Tony piped up walking in.

“Nothing, I have to go.” I said before once again turning to leave.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y call happy and tell him to get the car ready.” Tony said not looking up from his phone.

“Right away Mr Stark”

I groaned. “Are you kidding me?”

“Hey for once I agree with capsicle. We don’t need you dying on a train now do we?”

“I hate you.”

“Ouch my heart.”

It was starting to piss me off at how the were treating me. I get that they just wanted to look out for me, but it was just making me feel even more pathetic than I already did. I slumped down onto the sofa irritated. Suddenly I felt a light tap on my shoulder. Looking up I saw Nat leaning again the back of the sofa, looking down at me.

“I know it might feel like we’re being unfair or irrational, but we just want you to be safe. We need you.” I smiled slightly at her words.

“Thanks Nat.” She nodded at me before walking off.

“Miss Y/L/N. Happy is ready for you.”

“Thanks F.R.I.D.A.Y” I grabbed my stuff, yelling a quick goodbye to everyone before making my way downstairs and into the back of the black Mercedes parked outside the compound.

*******************************************************************

“Seriously did you have to dump him 2 weeks before you were due to leave? There’s so much crap here.” I groaned jokingly, sifting through the many papers laid out in front of me.

“It’s not my fault he was boring. I just couldn’t hack it anymore” Casey replied chuckling.

“Why did I agree to this?” I said leaning back in my chair.

“Because you love and care about me.” She said smiling at me

“Hmm that’s debatable.” I joked, causing her to swat my arm with the file she was holding. Thankfully, there was a small knock at the door that saved me from any further attacks.

“Excuse me Casey, boss man needs you in his office. He didn’t sound too happy.”

“Okay thanks, I’ll come now.” She replied. As she left the room she shot me an anxious look to which I responded a very supportive thumbs up. I know, I’m great.

*******************************************************************

I don’t know how long Casey had been gone but I’d suddenly began to feel a trickle of anxiety wash through my bones. I’d felt uneasy as soon as she’d left but I tried to push the feeling away and throw myself back into the paperwork. But every time I looked at the page, my eyes couldn’t focus. All the words were merging together in front of me.

“Please not now.” I mumbled to myself. I could feel my heart hammering a mile a minute against my ribcage as my hands began to shake uncontrollably. My throat felt as if it was collapsing in on itself as I tried my best to get oxygen into my lungs. I wanted to get up, to run outside, but I felt like if I moved I was going to be sick everywhere. So, I stayed there, trapped, with my head in my hands praying for this to be over. After what felt like a lifetime, the feeling began to dissipate – only to be replaced with an overwhelming sense of tiredness. Physically unable to hold myself up any longer, I let my head fall against the desk. I felt so drained, so weak I wasn’t sure how I would get home at this point. Where the hell was Casey?

---AT THE AVENGERS COMPOUND(third person pov)---

“Mr Stark. You told me to alert you when Miss Y/L/N’s heart rate began to climb. It has rapidly increased over the past few minutes and does not appear to be settling” F.R.I.D.A.Y said. Tony rushed over to the screen that was currently displaying Y/N’s heart rate.

“Oh shit.” He said to himself, running his fingers through his hair. A moment later, Steve entered the lab.

“Everything alright stark?” He asked leaning against one of the desks.

“Not at all. Y/N’s having another panic attack right now.” Tony explained, visibly stressed.

“What?” Steve said standing up straight.

“I have to go get her.” Tony said pulling his jacket on. Before Steve could even reply, Tony headed for the door.

---BACK AT THE OFFICE(first person pov)---

I’d been able to prop my head up in my hands once again, but I was barely able to keep my eyes open. All I wanted was to go home. Suddenly I heard the door open.

“Oh my god Y/N. What happened? Are you okay?” Casey said rushing to my side, clearly noticing my dilemma.

“N-no” I stuttered. My voice came out as a sort of broken whisper. I’d never felt more drained. I heard the door open once more.

“Casey?-“

“Not now, I’m busy”

“No seriously-“

“Did you not hear me? Go away john”

“But Tony stark is looking for you.” He spat out. Relief spread throughout me at the mention of his name. Casey jumped up and ran out, soon retuning with Tony.

“Thank god” I breathed. Tony knelt down beside me in an instant.

“Hey you.” He said softly. “Let’s get you home okay?” He smiled at me sympathetically. I nodded and went to reach for my stuff.

“I’ll get that, put your jacket on.”

“Didn’t bring one.” I mumbled.

“Of course, you didn’t” He said sarcastically as he pulled his off and wrapped it around my shoulders. I slipped my arms in and hugged it tight to me, enjoying the heat it was providing.

“Come on then.” I felt Tony slip his arm around my waist as he pulled me to my feet. I wrapped one of my arms around his shoulders as the other fell by my side. “You okay?” He asked.

“Just get me home.” I whispered.

“Why do you think I’m here?” He joked. We made our way down the hall, tony taking the most of my weight.

“Thank you for coming.” I said as we got into the elevator.

“Anytime gorgeous.” He replied with his signature grin.

“How come you are here though? How did you know I needed you?” I asked.

“I have a sixth sense. Like peter, expect I sense panic attacks” he said chuckling.

“Seriously tony. I didn’t even call you.” I pressed. He fidgeted uncomfortably next to me.

“Okay don’t be mad at me. Because if you think about it if I hadn’t done it I wouldn’t have known you were freaking out and you’d probably still be stuck there, and I know that that’s the last thing you would want so technically I-“

“Just spit it out stark”

“I tracked you.”

I starred at him. “You tracked me?” He nodded sheepishly. “Wha- How?” I stuttered.

“You know I gave you that new watch? Well, I may have changed some things” He said avoiding my eyes.

“What things?”

“Well, I just made sure it would be able to give me your location. A-and if your heartrate reached a certain point, F.R.I.D.A.Y would let me know.” He explained. I didn’t say anything. I wasn’t even mad, but I like the fact he thought I was. “Look before you have a go at me I just wanted to keep you safe.” I smiled at his words.

“I know. I’m not mad.”

“Oh, thank god.”

********************************************************************

The journey home was harmless. The fresh air had done me the world of good. Even those I was still worn out; I was feeling a lot more human. When we pulled up to the compound, Tony rushed to my side to open the door and help me stand.

“I’m okay tony you can relax now” I chuckled.

“I just don’t need you passing out on my watch, Steve won’t let me hear the end of it” He joked.

“Nice to know you care about me.” I replied. As soon as we walked in, I saw Steve talking anxiously with Nat and Wanda.

“Y/N thank god.” Nat rushed over to me, pulling me in for a hug.

“I’m alive guys false alarm.” I said light-heartedly, letting her go.

“Do you know why this keeps happening to you all of a sudden?” Wanda asked. Before I could answer she gasped slightly. “Oh…” Shit. I forgot she could read minds. She’d figured it out.

“What is it Wanda?” Steve asked. Wanda starred at me for a moment. I really didn’t know if she was going to tell them so I cut her off before she could.

“Casey was having an affair with her boss.” I blurted out, causing them all to look at me. “That’s why I went in with her today, she broke up with him and to get back at her he’s been giving her a shit ton of paperwork for no reason. While I was there he called her into his office, leaving me alone. I guess I was just so stressed about what they were talking about I worked myself up.” I lied. Wanda nodded in agreement with me, but the look she gave me made me think that this conversation definitely wasn’t over.

“Okay well I’m going to get this one into bed, see you guys later” Tony said coming up behind me, placing his hand on my back. We made our way up to my room where I promptly flopped onto my bed, gladly expecting the comfort it provided.

“Nope come on get up.” Tony said tugging my leg.

“What? I thought we came up here so I could sleep? I’ve had a long day tony.” I groaned.

“Yes but you need to change. I’m not having you sleep in jeans. The thought of it alone is enough to give me nightmares.” He replied, pulling me so I was sitting upright. “You stay there, don’t fall asleep.” He said before quickly dashing out of the room. I sighed, leaning back on my elbows. Tony was my best friend, sure, but that didn’t stop him being a massive pain in the arse. He soon returned, holding what looked like pyjamas.

“Why have you brought those? I have my own clothes you know.” “No shit sherlock. But I know that you like to wear these when your ill so I figured you might want some comfort after what happened today.” He said setting them down beside me. His words caused me to stare at him for a second. The genuine care in his voice was enough to make my stomach flip. The fact that he’d even thought of something like that caused a few tears to come to the surface.

“Stop starring at me, it’s creepy” He said with a chuckle. When he looked over at me, his face dropped. “Y/N? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” He knelt down in front of me, taking my hand in his.

“I just- Thank you. For the clothes. The fact that you noticed that means the world to me.” I said softly, gazing at our hands.

“I always notice” He mumbled. I looked at him fondly, a strange feeling growing inside of me. We settled in a comfortable silence for a moment. For some reason, my view on tony shifted. That one gestured made my entire opinion of him change. I’d always known I cared for him deeply, more so than myself. And I won’t sit here and tell you I’ve been in love with him since I first met him, because that sure as hell isn’t the case. We’d been friends. Nothing more, nothing less. But now, seeing this side of him, maybe there was a possibility for us to be something more. Whatever that was we didn’t need to figure out right now. But I wanted him with me.

“I’ll leave you to get changed.” His voice snapped me from my thoughts as he dropped my hand from his.

“No, wait don’t go.” I said hurriedly going to pull him back.

“I’ll just be on the other side of the door.” He chuckled. I let him go and went about changing. He’d left me one of his old Metallica t shirts. It wasn’t too big for me, but big enough to be comfortable. I paired with a pair of basketball shorts I’d bought him a couple years ago for Christmas. Not that he actually played basketball, I just thought they were cool. I went over to the door and opened it, not expecting tony to fall back onto my feet. I laughed as he scrambled to stand up right.

“You could’ve knocked or something.” He said straightening his shirt.

“I didn’t expect you to be on the floor” I laughed.

“Whatever” He rolled his eyes, sitting at the edge of my bed. Once I’d calmed myself down, I sat down next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. He moved so his arm was round my shoulder, allowing me to move closer.

“I like this.” I said softly.

“Like what?” “

This. Being with you.”

“So do I” He whispered.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence.

“No, you’re not falling asleep like this. Lie down” Tony said shrugging me off his shoulder. I didn’t even have the effort to argue as I slid back and pulled the covers over me.

“You’re coming to.” I stated, looking expectantly at him. He rolled his eyes before climbing in beside me. I curled into him, placing my head on his chest as I wrapped my arms around him. I felt him place his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. After the shit show I’d been through earlier, this was the exact peace I’d been craving. No matter where things went from here, Tony would always be my rock. And I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Lost & Found - 12

Pairing: Park Jimin x soulmate (oc)

Warnings: Insecurity, anxiety, abandonment, oc feels like she’s gonna puke which, honestly, same

Word Count: 4.5k

a/n: holy. crap.

anyways, enjoy! 

just remember that if it’s not ok then it’s not the end 

Chapter 12. Bittersweet

series masterlist

“You wanna grab some lunch?” I ask as soon as I get into the car after my appointment with Dr. Mo. She seemed pleased with my progress, and reassured me that I did the right thing in writing Jimin’s letter.

The only thing left to do is wait.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Sunmi begins to drive. “How’d your session go?”

“Good, I think. I couldn’t stop fidgeting the entire time.” I blow a strand of hair out of my face. “Mind if I invite a friend to lunch?”

Sunmi glances at me sidelong, arching a brow. “Does this friend know about your thread and that you’re currently being chauffeured by a Bighit employee?”

I chew on my lip. “Well, yes to the first question and no to the second. But she knows everything else.” I bring my phone up to my ear, listening to it ring. “She actually helped me cut the thread...but she’s a really cool person. I swear.”

Sunmi just waves me off, appearing to be indifferent to adding another person to our lunch party. At this rate, I’ll have to invite Chung-hei as well.

“I was just going to call you! What happened last night? You left in a rush.”

“Wanna come to lunch? I think we’ll just grab something and eat it back at my apartment.” I look at Sunmi, who gives me a thumbs-up.

“And then you’ll explain what happened last night?”

I laugh at her persistence. “Yeah, sure.”

We discuss her order before she promises to meet me at the apartment. “I feel like I should invite my other friend as well,” I admit, looking at Chung-hei’s contact on my phone. “She’s Namjoon’s soulmate.”

Shrugging, Sunmi pulls into a drive through. “Don’t ask me, I’m just the driver.” She pauses. “Oooh, should I get a milkshake?”

“Yes,” I gasp. “Get me one too-”

Chung-hei picks up on the third ring.

“I was just thinking about you!” She chirps. I can’t help but smile at the sound of her voice.

“How adorable,” I drawl. “Wanna meet up at my apartment for lunch? I’ve got a couple of friends coming over that I want you to meet.”

“Sure! I was just planning on taking a break, anyways.”

“Great. You want the usual from the diner on 6th?”

“Ooh, how sexy, you even remember my order.”

I snort, rolling my eyes. “Whatever. See you soon.”

✂

“How far are we going to run today?” Namjoon asks, not sounding entirely thrilled at the prospect of cardio at this hour. It’s an odd hour to be going out for a run, but the weather is warm enough for a jog around their closed off neighborhood.

“I have no idea,” Jimin admits, looking excited to just get to go outside. “Just...a ways?”

Namjoon snorts. “A ways?”

“You know what I mean.” Swinging the door opens, Jimin pauses before stepping out. “Oh, mail’s here.”

Namjoon doesn’t think much of the statement, the mail is always here around this time of day. That is, not until he looks down at the pile of mail and sees a familiar looking envelope poking out from behind another letter.

“Ah!” He shouts, crouching down and scooping up the mess. “Ah!” He shouts again for emphasis.

Jimin looks at him with a half-smirk. “Is there a reason that we’re shouting?”

Unfortunately, Namjoon is unable to do much else besides shout. He backtracks into the house, tossing aside the undesirable letters in an effort to get to the one that really matters. In his excitement, it slips to the ground.

Jimin leans down, grabbing the letter that Namjoon points at with yet another shout. “What?” His stomach drops. “Did we forget to pay this month?”

“No!” Namjoon exclaims. When Jimin shrugs and attempts to hand it over to him, he thrusts it back at him. “That’s yours!”

“What do you mean, ‘it’s mine’?” Jimin asks, frowning. “We split the cost-”

“Jolie. It’s from Jolie,” he pants, finally catching his breath and calming down. “Read it.”

Now, Jimin realizes, would be the perfect time to panic.

Reading the expression of confusion on his face, Namjoon takes a deep breath before leading Jimin to the couches in the living room. “Remember when I told you about going to visit Jolie right after she cut the thread and how I gave her-”

“You gave her this?” Jimin asks, looking down at the electric bill envelope with no shortage of disbelief. “Joon, this is probably just a bill-”

“No, we just got the electric bill three days ago!” Namjoon explains excitedly. “Just, read it.”

Jimin comes to stand before the couch, but he doesn’t sit down. Not yet. He’s too busy fighting the nerves that have manifested, the envelope shaking in his hands as he stares down at it.

“O-ok.”

He perches down on the edge of the coffee table, not even thinking to sit on the couch. Not as he tears the envelope open and slides out a piece of paper that looks suspiciously like notebook paper.

Namjoon is attempting to back out of the room to allow his friend a private moment, but stays just long enough to confirm that this is indeed the long-awaited letter.

When Jimin unfolds the paper enough to see the first line, addressed to him, he begins to greedily gulp down air.

She has beautiful handwriting.

Finding Namjoon’s eyes from across the room, Jimin wears his emotions on his sleeve. The hesitant hope and utter fear of what he’s about to read is apparent, and it’s with a quivering lip that he calls out for his friend.

“Can you stay with me?” He quietly requests. Namjoon nods, hastily coming to sit across from his friend on the couch.

In the silence, Jimin reads through the letter. Namjoon watches as his brows furrow. A hint of a smile touches his cheeks at the very beginning, and he mumbles something about Elle. Then his lips part in a pained, silent gasp.

He’s silent throughout, however as he gets to the final few sentences, he finds himself reading through them again and again. It’s almost as though his eyes deceive him, like something isn’t quite connecting.

I still want you.

I still want you.

I still want you.

I still-

His thoughts are interrupted when Joon reaches out to lightly nudge his knee. “You ok?”

Ok?

“Yes?” It’s a question more for himself than anything. His eyes drift back to the page, to Jolie’s swirling handwriting and the promising statement within.

It terrifies him to the bone, which only makes him frustrated. In his utter confusion, he reads through the letter again, assessing every word.

It’s a question that Jimin hadn’t thought to ask himself before. Now that his soulmate seems within reach, he hesitates. Why?

She still wants him. And while her reasoning is sound, albeit leading to rash and hurtful choices, Jimin finds himself feeling like he’s missing something as those four words echo through his mind.

When the answer comes to him, he gasps it out as though he’d been holding his breath.

“I want to believe her,” he says, looking like he’s just about ready to cry from the frustration. “But I- I-”

Namjoon just nods, an understanding look in his eyes. It’s that look that helps to calm Jimin down, his racing heart finding solace in the fact that it might be normal to find it difficult to trust so readily.

“I can’t,” he quietly confesses. “Not yet.”

“You don’t have to,” Namjoon reassures. “Just take it one step at a time.”

Finally setting the letter down, Jimin rubs at his face. “What step are we even on?”

Namjoon chuckles quietly at his question. “Who knows. This is uncharted territory. But the way I see it, you’re in control now. You decide if you want to move forward with her in whatever way you see fit, or if you’re ready to just leave it behind. Have a fresh start.”

While both thoughts seem to have their own terrifying aspects, Jimin knows that leaving Jolie in the past simply isn’t an option.

“She said she had an aunt here, but Joon, that’s it. I’m all she’s got left.” He doesn’t know why he brings that up now, but his heart aches to think of it. For nearly a year now, she’s been so alone. Going through her grief, hardly coping. “Which may sound a little pretentious, but...I don’t want her to be alone.”

Namjoon leans back against the cushions, and Jimin seems to realize for the first time that he’s sitting on a table. He makes no move to get off of it, simply leaning forward on his elbows with a creased brow.

“Then maybe that’s where you two start,” Namjoon muses. “Neither one of you is ready to just dive into a relationship - that should be the last thing on your mind. But for now...just don’t let her be alone. I mean, the best you can while keeping your distance until, you know, you’re ready.”

Namjoon’s advice soothes the gaping hole in Jimin’s chest, letting him breathe freely for a moment. Just one step at a time.

He realizes, for perhaps the first time in his life, that just because she’s his soulmate, Jimin doesn’t have to immediately hand over his heart. It’s in pieces at the moment as is, partly due to the severed thread hanging from his left hand and partly due to the tangible heartbreak in Jolie’s letter.

No, Jimin can first let it mend. Take his time to heal.

Perhaps they can heal together.

✂

“Ah, I’ve seen you in the news!” Christina snaps her finger as she makes the connection, grinning at Chung-hei who chuckles.

“Yeah, that’s me,” she sheepishly admits. “Please tell me I look even better in person.”

“Oh,” I chime in, “loads better. You looked hideous in those pictures they used.”

Taking a huge bite, Chung-hei vigorously nods. “I know, right?! I seriously almost called them up to ask them where I could send some better photos. If they’re going to be talking about me, they might as well have some good pictures to use.”

Sunmi nearly chokes on her milkshake, fanning her cheeks as she stifles a laugh. Christina smiles fondly at Chung-hei and I.

“Why didn’t you?” She asks, clearly invested in the story now.

Chung-hei takes her question in stride, setting her chopsticks down. It’s a clear sign that she’s going to become fully immersed in the storytelling now. I lean back, ready to watch the show.

“Namjoon’s a protective idiot, that’s why.”

Now I’m the one choking, Sunmi hitting my back even as she grins devilishly. “What?! Did I just hear you say something other than praise about Namjoon?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Make me.”

Chung-hei levels me with a glare, scooting her chair back to get up. I immediately throw my hands up in surrender. “Ok! Ok! Just keep telling your story!”

The first few minutes between all of my friends had felt like seeing three different worlds collide. Of course, Christina was the odd one out among the other two: her profession made her a bit of an odd candidate. A part of me was dying to tell her story, to help Chung-hei and Sunmi see just how amazing she was. However, all it took were a few jokes at my expense (something that Hei and Christina both have an uncanny ability to do) before the three of them were picking at their food and chatting like the neighborhood gossips that they surely are.

“What was it like?” Sunmi asks, and suddenly I’m thrown back into reality and realizing that I just missed the entire story.

“It was…” judging from the faraway look in Chung-hei’s eyes, she’s talking about when she first met Namjoon. “I don’t know. I always expected sparks to fly or the world to stop spinning, but it wasn’t like that at all.”

I glance over at Christina, gauging to see if we’re veering into something that might make her uncomfortable. She catches my gaze, giving me a little nod that tells me she’s alright. Interested in the conversation, even.

“It just felt like coming home after a long day,” Chung-hei continues. “Like kicking off tight shoes and scrunching up your toes in the warm grass. Like the most common, simple things that life has to offer, that somehow make you believe that everything really will be alright in the end.”

My emotions get caught in my throat as I think about those little things and realize that it’s been far too long since I last drank in the beautiful normal.

“Wow.” I’m not sure who whispers it, but I grunt in agreement.

“That sounds so nice,” Sunmi says with wide eyes. Chung-hei smiles a radiant smile, one that isn’t too wide but reaches her eyes anyways.

“Yeah. It really is.”

The four of us get a little lost in our own thoughts, but eventually Christina clears her throat and shoots me a pointed look.

“So...what happened last night?”

Ah. Right.

Just like that, the reminder that my letter may very well be in Jimin’s hands right now has me fidgeting in my seat, just like I did all throughout my session with Dr. Mo.

With a tight smile, I explain the events of last night. How I essentially poured out my heart in the letter (this earns me a proud smile from Chung-hei), and how I confessed that he was all I wanted still.

The memory of him under those dazzling lights at the concert rush back to me. His white shirt loose on his body, hair swept back mainly because he kept running his hands through it. Full lips parting into a smile just as quickly as they would melt into a teasing pout. The crowd was wrapped around his finger, nearly as tightly as the bright red thread dangling from his left hand.

The thread that I stared and stared at while Chung-hei and I slipped backstage, growing ever nearer. Getting close enough that I swore I could hear his voice, his laugh like a waterfall.

I was drowning in that laugh, unable to come up for air until I found myself practically begging on my knees outside of Christina’s apartment.

“Hey,” Christina gently pulls me from my tormented state. “Are you nervous?”

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before answering. “Yes.”

Sunmi, who sits beside me on the couch, wraps an arm around my shoulder and gives me a tight squeeze. Chung-hei abandons her food, leaving it on the coffee table and coming to sit on the other side of me.

“You told the truth,” she quietly comforts. “And that’s all you could do.”

I clench my jaw, staring at a wooden knot in the coffee table before me. “I told him that I forgave myself. But I feel like there’s so much I’ve done wrong, I hurt him too much-”

It’s Christina that rises from her chair and pushes everyone’s food aside until she can sit on the edge of the coffee table and reach out to cup my chin. Once I raise my eyes to hers, I see a raging fire in them.

“You don’t look back.” Her voice is made of steel straight out of the fire. “You cannot punish yourself for what’s already happened any more than you already have. Move forward. The only way to heal is to move forward and be better.”

I wonder for a moment how many times she’s repeated that to herself on the days when the shadows seemed a little darker and her past loomed a little larger.

“What do you think he’ll do?” I ask, my voice small.

Chung-hei sighs softly. “He still wants you...but I don’t know. He might need some time, Jolie.”

It stings, but I force myself to nod. My only hope is that he’ll allow me to somehow be a part of the time he needs to take for himself.

Eventually I ease into a semi-comfortable state, my friends chatting it up while I try to focus. Try as I might, my mind wanders back again and again to the letter. Maybe it got lost in the mail. Or maybe it won’t be delivered until tomorrow.

Maybe they really thought it was a bill and won’t open it for days, forgetting about it. It’s probably laying on that stupid kitchen island that Taehyung wants me to use for rolling dough out, collecting dust-

When my phone vibrates, I nearly jump out of my skin. My jolt makes Sunmi and Chung-hei jump as well, giggling lightly.

“Sorry,” I mumble, fishing my phone out of my back pocket. “My phone just-”

Elle’s bf 🙀: Hey...can we talk? Like, call?

I’ve rarely been able to curse fluently, but today appears to be the exception as a string of curses flow under my breath. The sentiment is mirrored as Sunmi and Chung-hei peer over my shoulder.

Christina doesn’t need to see the text to know what just happened. “He texted?”

“I’m gonna die,” I breathe out in response, heart rate ratcheting up at an alarming rate. “Dead, I’m dead-”

“Ok, look at me,” Chung-hei grabs my shoulders and forces a warm smile onto her face. “This is good-”

“Good?!” I shriek, looking down at my phone and back up at her. “How is this good? I feel like I’m gonna puke-”

“Great, but save the puking for after the phone call,” Chung-hei butts back in, taking charge of the moment. “Because right now there’s a boy on the other side of that message trying to be brave, and he needs you. He’s probably freaking out, and he needs some answers and reassurance that his soulmate really actually meant every word she wrote in that letter. And you meant it, didn’t you?”

I find myself nodding along, wishing that I hadn’t just eaten a ridiculous amount of food. Not as my stomach churns at the thought of talking in real time with Jimin.

“Go ahead and text him back,” Sunmi coos, the calm to Hei’s invincible will. “And...you know what, nevermind. I’ll ask about the way you have him saved under your phone later.”

It takes me an embarrassing amount of time to formulate a response, and even longer to type it out without making any typos. Staring at the send button, I groan, unable to press it just yet.

“I really might throw up.”

“I’ll get you a glass of water.” Christina springs up from the couch as Chung-hei begins to rub soothing lines up and down my arms. Despite the warm temperature in the room, I can’t stop shivering.

“If you want us here, that’s fine...but I also think it might be good for it to just be the two of you. So you can talk freely” Hei gently advises, so different from the little pep talk mere moments before.

I stare at the wall, chewing ferociously on the inside of my lip. The thought of my friends not being here makes me feel even more vulnerable, but at the same time I know this is something I have to do alone.

“Will you come back after?”

“Of course,” Sunmi reassures. “We’ll just go on a ride or something while you two talk. Text us when you’re done, and we’ll be back before you know it.”

Christina sets the glass of water in my hand, urging me to drink. With a few swigs that help to clear my head and temporarily calm my stomach, I press send.

Me: Of course. I’m free right now, go ahead and call if you can.

I’m not sure if I want to cry or squeal.

Both. I want to do both.

My three friends get up (Christina taking her food with her, a detail I hardly notice) and file through the door, offering me warm smiles and words of encouragement. Try and I might, I can hardly register them amidst the swirling feelings of panic and doubt crawling through my veins.

The sound of the door closing is what makes the first tear slip out.

Grabbing my phone and staring at the couch before deciding that I’d rather the comfort of my blankets and pillows, I jump and stub my toe against the coffee table when Elle jumps through the kitchen window. She appears to be unbothered, but follows me into my room and leaps onto the bed. She circles my feet before brushing up against my calves, laying between my legs. Resting her chin on my shin, she looks up at me with those big eyes of hers.

Waiting, just like I am.

I’m not sure how long it takes, but it feels like an agonizing eternity before the phone finally rings.

When it does, I scoop it up and stare at if for a moment. I pinch myself for good measure, giving myself one last chance to wake up.

Of course, I don’t wake up. This isn’t a dream. I realize that when my shaky thumb swipes to accept the call and I bring the phone to my ear.

It’s quiet, but I can hear the soft, shaky breath on the other side of the phone. Almost like Jimin was holding his breath but couldn’t quite hold it any longer.

It takes me approximately four seconds to remember that I’m supposed to say hello.

Of course, I fail even at that. “Jimin?”

It’s not the most eloquent way to answer the phone, but I need to know.

“Jolie.”

✂

“Jimin?”

Jimin stands outside on the balcony, facing the large pines that obscure his view of the rest of the neighborhood. When he hears the breathy, slightly panicked voice on the other end of the phone, he realizes that he should definitely be sitting down for this conversation.

“Jolie.” It’s a statement that should have been a question, but he knows - knew, from the single syllable his soulmate had utter, his name, no less, that it had been her.

It had to be her. His name had never sounded so beautiful coming from any other mouth.

When the silence stretches on, Jimin sinks to the ground and sits facing those great pines. The railing obstructs his view a bit, but it isn’t like he’s actually watching them. No, his gaze is a little dazed as he scrambles for something to say.

“I- I got your letter.”

There’s a pause in which Jimin is absolutely positive he hears a sniffle - the pitiful sound making him reach out to grab the metal bars of the balcony railing for support.

“Oh.” And then, “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess right now-”

“No, I am too,” Jimin rushes to reassure her. “I think it’s safe to say that we’re both a bit of a mess.”

He hears a wry chuckle and suddenly he can’t help but smile slightly, basking in the short-lived sound. “Jimin, I…”

“What?” Eager to hear what comes next, Jimin can’t help but widen his eyes as if that will urge Jolie to continue.

“I...t-thank you for the flowers.”

Someone might as well have brought him back to life. Shoulders relaxing and lungs expanding, Jimin blinks and finally sees the trees.

“Thank you for the letter.”

✂

Jimin’s voice is deeper than I thought it would be. His soft, angelic singing voice acts as a good cover for the delicious timbre coming through the phone.

Of course, I may be biased.

“You’re welcome,” I manage to squeak out. “You deserved an explanation. I hope it didn’t leave you more confused than before.”

“No,” he responds, dragging the word out in a way that makes me feel warm. “It was beautiful. I’m so sorry, Jolie, about your parents. I wish I could do something- change it.”

The familiar pang of pain strikes true, but it fails to linger like it normally does. “It’s nobody’s fault, Jimin.” His name is delicious on my tongue, and I fight the urge to say it again. “But I really, just...I know saying I’m sorry doesn’t cut it, but for what it’s worth...I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

It’s quiet except for the sound of a breeze and distant chirping, leading me to believe that he’s outside. If I close my eyes, I’m right there with him.

“Thank you. I...that means a lot. Thank you.” He takes a deep breath, and I can tell that he’s getting to the reason he called in the first place. “This might sound a little strange, but I need to say it.”

“Go on,” I urge.

“You mentioned - don’t hate me, because you said it was the cheesy part,” I can’t help but snort at his playful manner that peeks through. “But you sounded like you were willing to give this a try…? Give us a try?”

Blinking rapidly to dispel any lingering tears, I nod even though he can’t see me. “Yes. But only if you want to. I completely understand if you feel like you can’t after everything that’s happened-”

“I want to. I- I want you.”

My heart pounding in my ears, I bite down a gasp. “You do?”

“But just...can we take this slowly?”

Letting out a sigh of relief, a tentative smile makes its way to my lips. “Yes, please.”

Judging from Jimin’s little laugh, he’s more than happy with my response. “Good. I just don’t want to be alone anymore, you know? And hey, if I remember correctly, you thought I was funny-

“Woah, I thought Jaemin was funny, not you. You’re gonna have to start all over now.”

Jimin makes a sound of protest that I hope masks the schoolgirl-like giggle I let out at the sound. “Really? You’re ridiculous. Hey! Is Elle there?”

“Oh, she is! She’s sitting here eavesdropping, wanna say hello?”

“Yes, put me on speaker. I’ve missed my cat.”

“Your cat? Really?”

“Yah, put me on speaker already-”

His voice cuts off, and I strain to hear another person that speaks in the background. It’s muffled, but despite the poor quality I can hear the panic in their voice. A moment later Jimin returns, however his joking banter is gone. Indeed, he sounds deadly serious as he tries to calmly speak.

“Jolie,” he begins, and suddenly it’s cold. “You’re at home, right?”

“Yeah,” I answer. “What happened?”

“Stay inside,” Jimin instructs, not answering my question. “Do not leave, you understand me? And don’t let anyone inside. I don’t care who it is, do not let anyone in.”

My blood runs cold at that. “Jimin, you’re scaring me, what’s going-”

“Promise me.”

The pure desperation in his voice leaves me paralyzed, but I manage to speak. “I promise. But Jimin, what’s happening? Is everything ok?”

“I’ll call you tonight, ok? Just- don’t leave.”

With that, he bids me goodbye and the line clicks off. Scrambling to pull up the numer, I immediately call Chung-hei.

It rings and rings, eventually going to her voicemail. I end the call only to begin a new one to Christina.

Again, no answer.

Sunmi’s number is the last one I try, holding the phone up to my ear. “C’mon, pick up, pick up,” I chant, pulling my knees up to my chest.

But it just rings, over and over again.

“Hello, this is Kang Sunmi. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to take your call, please leave a message-”

Ending the call with a violent jab, I start the calls again from the top.

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[btsslowburnfic]

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

AN: a loooong update where we get YN to Korea Previous Chapter here

The three of you made it safe and sound to your new brownstone across the river in New Jersey. Joe has a job lined up, but at the moment you and Xavier are unemployed. On this particular day, you are in your room job hunting when you hear a knock on your bedroom door and then see Xavier gently push it open. “Fly your ass to Korea. Now. Here,” Xavier throws a book at you. “I bought you a Korean dictionary.”

You roll your eyes. “Namjoon speaks English. And I can’t read the characters or whatever so how will a dictionary help. And, I’m not going to Korea.”

Xavier crosses his arms in front of his body. “Girl. You are still in your twenties. You have no job. There is a hot man who is also your soulmate across the ocean. GO TO KOREA.” You pick your phone back up, ignoring him. You hear him let out a frustrated sigh and leave the room. You didn’t know what you wanted. You didn’t tell them that Namjoon had passed along his schedule to you and that he would be in Korea for 6 weeks starting in two weeks and that he had offered to buy you a plane ticket. You kept going back and forth. Fine. Fuck it.

YN: Hey! I’ve been thinking and I would like to come visit. As long as it’s not too much trouble and won’t interfere with your schedule

You let out a breath and put the phone down. One thing you have learned is that he keeps very strange hours and there is no way of knowing when he will be awake, when he will be performing, or even what country he is in. You are shocked when you receive a reply instantly.

NJ: It’s no problem. I will be working a lot of the time, but there is also some free time blocked out so make sure you’re ready to do some sightseeing as well on your own. I’ll rent a noona for you.

YN: I have no idea what that means but ok. Sounds exciting.

NJ: You can rent tour guides. An “older sister” to translate and show you around on some of the days.

YN: That would be amazing! Ok. Sounds great!!

NJ: I’ll book the flight and email you the information.

YN: Awesome ^_^ Thank you so much.

You try to keep your cool. You really do. But it doesn’t last long as you sit the phone down and walk out into the hallway. “Xavier!”

“What? Brat.” You hear him call from the living room.

“I’m going to Korea!” You say with a big smile on your face.

“Holy shit. You’re doing it!?! Really? When?” He sits up straight on the couch.

“I’m not sure. He’s booking the flight.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. IT’S HAPPENING. Come. Sit here. Let’s watch some Kdramas. We need to prepare you.”

You roll your eyes but join him on the couch anyway.

--3 weeks later--

The flight isn’t too bad. When Namjoon booked your ticket you did secretly wonder if he would spring for an upgraded seat since you know...you guessed he was rich. You did not expect that he was going to pay for a first class seat though. The comfort of the seats and the fact that food was actually delicious helped to balance out the longest flight you had ever taken in your life. You managed to get some rest on the plane, but not very much since you were so excited and nervous. You had not seen each other for a while. And the last time you saw him you were both naked.

When you arrive you don’t have any bags to collect; you just brought your carry-on. You know you are going to do a lot of shopping while you are there and had decided you would just buy a suitcase there. You walk down to departures and scan the crowd looking for your name. This was so exciting. You had been the person in the crowd holding a name placard before, but you had never had it done for you. It helped that it was one of the few names written in English. You smile and walk over to a man in a suit.  After confirming each other’s identity, you follow him out to a black SUV with tinted windows. He takes your bag and you slide into the backseat. 

YN: Hey! I’m on my way to the hotel. When will I get to see you?

NJ: Yeah….about that. There is no way I would be able to just be going in and out of a hotel without anyone here noticing. This isn’t LA. We can’t really go out in public much here. The driver will be taking you to my apartment complex. Once you get here, you will let security know who you are. They will provide you with a key and directions.

You weren’t expecting this at all, but it made sense.

YN: Umm ok. Sounds like a plan. 

You hoped to God someone at the security office spoke English. Oh well. You typed some things into your translation app just in case and tried to enjoy the scenery. It was a city, but it seemed a lot cleaner than LA. Less sunny, and more modern. At least the parts you were driving through.

After a fifteen minute taxi ride that has brought you into a very fancy part of Seoul you try to keep your cool as your driver assures you that this is the location you are supposed to be at. It is fancy looking as fuck and has a giant ass gate around it. The driver pulls up and shows his credentials and then pulls up and rolls your window down.

The security officer stands there, looking at you. You pull out your passport and state your name. He looks over a sheet of paper and nods. Handing you an envelope that feels like it has a keyboard and some papers in it. You thank him in shitty Korean and the driver closes the window. You open the envelope.

“Hey. If you’re getting this, I wasn’t able to get off work in time to meet you. The driver knows which building to go to. Use this key to go to unit 4106. Text me when you get there. Sorry!

Namjoon”

The chauffeur drives between several of the buildings. The streets are lined with trees and there appeared to be several small gardens between the buildings. The car comes to a stop outside building 4. The driver gets out to open your door and hands you the bag. You thank him and head into the building.

The apartment building was a lot like a luxury hotel, you find yourself thinking. It was decorated similarly with gilded light fixtures and a marble floor. You scan your key card at the elevators and head up to the 10th floor. 

It becomes very obvious from the minute you walk in that this is Namjoon’s actual apartment. His giant shoes are all over the foyer.  You purse your lips and take out your phone.

YN: YOU DIDNT SAY IT WAS YOUR APARTMENT

NJ: Relax sweetheart, the guest bedroom is for you. I’m hardly ever there. Make yourself at home and I’ll see you later ;p

YN: THATS NOT THE POINT

NJ: You’re welcome. Stop being a brat and enjoy.

You pout a little bit. Fine. Fine. You’ve already slept with him so why does it matter if this is his apartment. Because it feels so much more intimate, you think. You enter into the space while texting Xavier.

YN: New chapter in the Kdrama series. 

You knew Xavier would normally be sleeping, but he was so excited and wanted to make sure you made it safely he was wide awake.

X: Oh no, what?

YN: he didn’t arrange for me to stay in a hotel IM AT HIS APARTMENT.

X: AHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT. Is it nice? Is there like a waterfall? Does it smell like rich people? Send pictures!

YN: I don’t think I should send pics since he’s famous, but there are no waterfalls that I can see. It smells normal. Actually no, it smells new, like people don’t really live here. Stay tuned for updates.

X: Has he dicked you yet?

YN: -_- he’s stuck at work. And I’ll be in the guest bedroom thankyouverymuch.

X: Yeah….ok…..suuuuuuure.

You put your phone back in your pocket and continue to wander around the apartment. It is the size of a house. There is a small terrace running  along the side of the unit and three open rooms that flow together. I guess rich people need more than one living room? You wonder. They are all furnished with couches and art. The floors are a beautiful Marble. Or Granite. Some expensive imported thing. You notice several plants on the wall as well as out on the terrace. Huh. I did not think he would be into plants, you find yourself thinking.

YN: Nice plants

NJ: My pride and joy

You smile and walk into the kitchen. It looks like a showroom. You doubt much cooking goes on here. If you could afford to eat out all the time you would too. You open the fridge and as predicted, it is mostly empty. There are a few bottles of water and some random condiments. Panic strikes you as you begin to wonder if there’s a coffee maker in this apartment. This could be a deal breaker; you might have to flee to the Marriott. There isn’t one sitting out. You frantically open cabinets. You make eye contact with a very fancy looking Espresso maker. Ok. You will learn how to use this beast. You sit it out on the counter and plug it in. Crisis averted for now. You continue through the rest of the house. You quickly find the master bedroom. Big bed. That’s all you take note of before closing the door. You don’t want to be nosy. You wander to the other end of the apartment and find an extra bedroom and an office. You don’t go to the office, but do take your stuff into the guest bedroom. You are feeling tired and starting to feel hungry.

YN: When will you be back? Is there a convenience store nearby? I need coffee and/or food.

NJ: Sorry. It will still be a while. Actually there are several stores on property. The closest one is in building 2. Here, download the app. I’ll send you the login info.

YN: Thanks.

You change out of your traveling clothes into real clothing and head to the market. The apartment complex’s layout is fairly easy to understand once you look at the app. You walk over to tower 2 and ride the elevator to the market level. It looks like the atrium of a cruise ship. There is a giant crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the lobby area as well as beautiful indoor trees, glass art bulbs, probably a peacock or two wandering around, and some light music playing in the background. Oh God. I should just starve. This is too fancy. I need to leave.  

You turned to leave when you heard a voice speaking politely in Korean. You ignore it, and then hear the same voice ask in English,  “Excuse me, Miss. Can I help you?” A short man in his 50’s walked over. “I’m on the concierge staff here. You must be new.” 

“Ah yes. Thank you. Umm...Coffee please?”

“Of course. Take-away or beans?”

“Both please?” You ask, trying to keep it simple and very thankful for the English.

“Yes of course. If you just get me the unit number I can actually just have it sent there. Also there is an ordering and delivery app you can use next time if you would like to save yourself the walk.” The man explained while he typed some information into a tablet. 

“That’s very helpful. Thank you. For today, now please.” 

“Very well miss, please insert your chip or resident card here and sign,” he turned the tablet towards you. You inserted your debit card.  

“Thank you. Please wait.”

You take a seat in the fancy lobby area and get out your phone. You had some messages from Namjoon.

[NJ]: Oh, there is also an app you can download and order groceries to the apartment. 

[NJ]: I usually eat at work so I forget about it.

[NJ]: Sorry, you probably already hiked there.

A smirk crossed your face as you started to type a response.

[Y/N]: Sorry, I just saw these. And no worries. It’s a beautiful part of the complex. I was a little overwhelmed to be honest but the concierge was very helpful!  10/10 recommend.  

You take a picture of the lobby area and send it to him.

[NJ]: wow, yeah that’s beautiful. I haven’t actually been there myself.

The concierge returns, handing you a coffee and a bag of coffee beans.  You thank him profusely one more time.

“My pleasure. Take care.”

You sit the beans down and pose with your coffee cup, snapping a selfie to send to Namjoon.

[Y/N]: There, now all is right with the world ^_^

[NJ]: :) See you soon!

You travel back to the apartment and unpack your suitcase. You try your hardest to stay awake, but at this point you have been up for over 24 hours and you can feel the pull of sleep. You’ll just lay down for a nap. 

---------

It is dark outside by the time Namjoon gets off work. He feels bad he couldn’t meet you in the car at the airport, and even worse that he’s kept you waiting for hours. You haven’t answered any of his texts these past few hours either. He opens the door to his apartment. The lights are off. Did you leave? He wonders. He flips on the light and sees your shoes by the door which put a smile on his face. You must be sleeping. He hasn’t actually been in his apartment for about 2 months. It was mostly the same as he left it, except most of the time when he returned the apartment had a stale smell from having been left empty. This time it smelled like coffee and girl.

He enters the main living area and finds you laying in a small blanket nest on the couch with a laptop on the table; a coffee cup resting on a coaster next to it. He smiles and goes through to his bedroom to deposit his travel bag. He washes his face and changes clothes and then proceeds to nervously pace. Should he wake you up? You were probably tired, but at the same time, to prevent jet lag you shouldn’t sleep too much, and he wanted to hang out with you. He wrestles with this issue for a while and then decides he will try to wake you up.

He gently shakes your foot, “Hey sleepy. Wake up.” 

“Mmmmmmmmmmm…” you respond. What’s happening? You kick the thing bothering your foot. So annoying. You hear a deep voice laugh. Oh shit, where were you again? The shaking of your foot resumes and you crack open one of your eyes and see Namjoon sitting on the couch. “Heyyyy.”

“Hey there sweetheart. Nice seeing you in Korea.”

You feel your heart do a little flip flop at the way he’s talking to you but you want to play it cool. “Yeah. It’s good to be here.” You stretch out and move to sit up.

“How are your legs doing?” He asks.

“Good. They get stiff pretty easily and I still have to do my exercises everyday but they don’t hurt most of the time or anything. I get pretty bad headaches from time to time, but you already knew that. Sorry about that by the way.”

“It’s fine, I just carry aspirin around with me now.” He shrugs. “Did you get any food? Should I order something?”

“Yeah. Order some super Korean food.” You are fully awake now.

“Yeah? You serious? It’s not going to be like Koreatown food.” He teases

“Might as well jump in. If I don’t like it, there’s always rice, right?” You smile.

“That’s true,” he takes out his phone to order dinner.

“What did you do today?”

“Today was planning for the Festa. Even though it’s months away we have to make sure we have enough content planned just in case there are any unforeseen delays.”

“Cool.” You say. You had done your basic level ARMY research so you were somewhat familiar with their different activities.

“How was your flight? You should probably get up and stretch those legs around. Get up.” He pushes your shoulder playfully.

“Ughhh….fine. By the way. Nice apartment. Is rent like 20 grand a month?” You stand up groaning slightly like an old woman. Damn stiff legs.

“Uhh...I paid 6 million dollars for it up front so I don’t pay rent. Do you want anything to drink?”

It’s a good thing you weren’t drinking anything when he dropped that little factoid on you or you would have spit it out comic-book style. Jesus. That explained the security and Gucci grocery store. “Uh water please.” You walked over following him to the kitchen. “It’s good to see you by the way. Thanks for inviting me.” You slowly remember how to speak like a human again.

“Sure. I wish I had more free time to spend with you, but I’m glad you were able to make it.” He fills a glass with water for you. “Wait a minute! Before I forget,” he jogs out of the room and returns with a small box. “Here, this is for you. We were in Australia last month and I wanted to get something for you.”

You are surprised. It didn’t occur to you that he would think about you or buy you something. Until a few months ago you had considered yourself a nuisance. “Wow, thank you so much. You didn’t have to do that.” you say, taking the box, “I hope it’s a tiny KNOIFE or tiny koala or tiny kangaroo,” you open the box. It is an adorable mug with a Koala on it superimposed on the Australian Continent. It says in English, “Lucky Australian Koala.” You burst out laughing, cupping the mug with both your hands in front of your face. “This is perfection. Thank you so much for my authentic LUCKY AUSTRALIAN KOALA, I cannot wait to drink out of him tomorrow. Seriously. “ You sit the mug on the kitchen table. Fuck it. “Come here,” you gesture, and pull him in for a hug. His body feels solid against your and he gently wraps his arms around you. You give a firm squeeze. “Thank you for the mug and for flying me out here.”  You pull away and smile at him. 

He looks away almost shy, “It was nothing. I figure I still owe you a few for the pen incident.”

You take a drink of the water. “Yeah. You have had some dickish moments.” 

“Speaking of dickish behavior...do you want to talk about what happened with Ben or…?”

You shrug. “There’s not a lot to say. Ben apparently met his soulmate about 4 months before the car accident. He tried to stay away since we had already agreed that we didn't care about stuff like that. But he couldn't. I don't know when he started seeing Jessie behind my back. They were apparently banging all summer in the apartment and while I was in the hospital.” You take another gulp of water. Namjoon is surprised that he isn’t feeling much anger or sadness coming off of you. “After I got all my shit out of the apartment and had a chance to calm down, I couldn't be too mad about it you know? You and I had already slept together and most people aren't as stubborn as us. So really, how could they resist? I mean I was angry and sad at the time but at this point it seems like a lifetime ago. "

Namjoon had never asked about what had happened with Ben before, assuming that if you wanted to talk about it you would have brought it up. " Wow. "

"Yeah. I mean that's waaaay oversimplified but that's the gist of it. Anyways. Everything was a mess for me for a while. You know I stayed with Xavier and Joe and then  Xavier's husband got a really good job offer here so we all picked up and left LA."

“And now you’re in New York.” He finishes your thought

“Yeah. Well Jersey technically because rent is $1000 less a month. But I’m applying for jobs as assistant director at tv stations and theaters. I’m hopeful something will come up. I can’t really teach fitness classes anymore.”

Namjoon listens thoughtfully, feeling like a jackass for never asking about this stuff before. What kind of soulmate was he? 

“Well, let me know if you need a job reference.”

“Ahahahaha,” You laugh awkwardly. “No way. I don’t want people thinking I only got a job because I know someone famous.”

“Sweetheart, that’s how everyone gets jobs in the industry.” He leans against the counter.

“I don’t know, I’ll think about it.” You fidget

“You know I’ll just text Xavier and he’ll tell me the companies you applied for.” Namjoon flashes his dimples at you.

You scowl. “I didn’t realize you two were so chummy.”

“Hey, we bonded a lot in the hospital.” His phone let out a chirp. “The food is at the security office. I’ll be back in a few. Make yourself at home.” He heads over to the foyer to slip his shoes on. 

You decide to unpack and then wash your face and brush your teeth before returning to the main area where he has just returned. “That was fast”, you comment, meeting him near the door and taking a bag from his hands.

“I rode my bike over.” He replies, following you to the kitchen. 

“They let your clumsy ass ride a bike?” You tease, pulling food out.

He lets out a laugh, “Yeah. Just remember, only one of us has got hit by a car.”

“Touche. Touche. Alright. I don’t know what any of this is, so I’m going to go wait at the table like a lazy bitch.”

“Haha, fair enough. I’ll bring it over. “

You head over and have a seat at the dining table, placing your water down. This feels so weird. So intimate. He joins a few minutes later placing a bunch of food on the table along with a spoon and chopsticks.

“I’m sure there’s a fork around here somewhere if you need one.” He says as he opens the lids on the containers.

“I lived in LA where we ate sushi almost every day, I think I’ll be ok.” You sass back, ,looking over all of the delicious food. You start to dig in. He sits waiting to see what your reaction will be. You flash him a thumbs up as you chew. It’s definitely good. He smiles and begins to eat as well.

Dinner is relatively quiet. You had no idea how hungry you were until you started to eat. Some of the foods had a texture you didn’t quite care for, but overall you liked it all.

“Wow. That was delicious. Thank you so much.” You smile

“It was. You’re welcome.” He gets up and starts to clear the table and you join him. 

You continue to yawn involuntarily as the two of you straighten up the kitchen,

“Do you want some coffee or a nap?” he asks.

“I’m going to try and stay awake a little bit longer. What does the rest of the night look like?”

“Relaxing. I am exhausted from work. And you don’t look so fresh yourself. LEt’s watch a movie or something.” He says it so casually. Like this is a normal thing the two of you do. Like it hasn’t been months since the last time you saw each other and you left him naked and alone in a bed. You feel your heartbeat speed up.

“Hold on, I’m changing into some comfy clothes before I make this commitment.” you get up and head towards your room.

You come back in leggings and a shirt. Namjoon has re-positioned himself on the end of the couch. You sit next to him. “Ok, all set,” you grab your blanket. 

“You take your comfort quite seriously,” Namjoon laughs as he hits the play button. 

“Definitely,” you respond, yawning. After about half an hour, It’s dark outside, the night spilling into the living room. You are trying to keep your eyes open. You feel Namjoon put his large arm around you. You don’t resist, you nestle into it. You feel the warmth of his body radiating against you. It feels so nice.You try to stay awake but your eyelids grow heavy.  The next thing you know, you wake up slowly, not quite oriented to where you are. Your face is sweaty. You take stock of your surroundings. You are still in the living room. You must have fallen asleep while watching the movie. You move a bit and realize you are not alone. Namjoon is asleep as well. Underneath you. Oh god. You probably trapped him. Is that your drool on his shirt? You wonder. But you know that yes, it definitely is. Jesus [Y/N].Not making a great impression here.  Must sneak out so the drool will dry before he wakes up. You move as stealthy as possible off of him, which is very difficult since you found yourself laying between his legs. How did you even get like that? You had gone in for a light snuggle to see how it would be received and then apparently passed out dead. No more starting movies when you were tired. You knew it was your weakness. 

The poor man probably had to pee and was stuck, forced to lay underneath you until he fell asleep.    Is he snoring? Huh. Well ok. You drool and he snores. Very attractive individuals. You grab a blanket from your nest on the other side of the couch and put it on top of him. You sneak down the hallway to your bathroom, pee and sneak into your bedroom. You lay down and try to fall asleep, but your heart is beating fast as all you can think about it falling asleep on Namjoon. You feel your face grow warm. You are  a mix of turned on and embarrassed. You turn off your light and wonder if he will still want to go sightseeing with your drooly-ass tomorrow.  @calling-dips-on-j-hope​​  @ghostkat23​​ @cuteipat​​ @marianeamine​​@thisisval​​ @almonte12​​  @themisunderstoodblackswan​ @bobbyboops​  @betysotelo18​ @katerbees​

[fandom-imagines-stories]

If I Don’t Wake Tomorrow

Tom Branson x Reader

Words: 3395

Part One

Summary: Married for nearly a year, the reader and her husband return to her home and family for a dinner at her sister’s invitation. Tom faces judgment and becomes a point of ridicule. Everything halts when the reader falls deathly ill. 

Notes: Like I said, I love putting my boys through hell. Yes, I’m lazy and I just totally made up a nameless illness. Sue me. Let me know what you guys think and if you want to see more Downton in the future.  (I know this gif is gut-wrenching, but it was just so perfect, I had to use it.)

-

Everyone had been gathered into the library for Dr. Clarkson’s analysis. The Winstons were required to stay since no one knew how contagious Y/N’s illness could be. It was quickly determined that this was no ordinary fever. Robert was pacing madly back and forth, waiting for Dr. Clarkson to speak. Tom stood silently in the corner, Sybil keeping close to him to make sure he wasn’t alone. 

“Dr. Clarkson, please just tell us what it is.” Cora begged. He seemed to be struggling to find the words. 

“The good news is, if she makes it through the first 24 hours, the fever should flush itself out.” Everyone hung onto one simple word. If. Dr. Clarkson’s hands fell limply to his sides. He felt so useless. “The trouble is, most patients don’t last 12.” Cora cried out, Mary clutched Matthew’s hand, and Robert stopped pacing. 

Tom felt as if he’d been split open. Sybil watched him grip the back of a chair, doubling over and finding it difficult to breathe. This couldn’t possibly be happening. Not to his Y/N. Your life together had barely even started. 

“Is there anything to be done?” Edith asked. She had been rather quiet through the night, but her worry was genuine. Dr. Clarkson sighed. 

“I’m afraid all we can do is try to keep her fever down… and pray.” A heaviness fell over everyone in the room. Downstairs, a similar scene was playing out. The servants were gathered at the table receiving instructions from a solemn Mr. Carson. Y/N, no matter her decisions, was loved by many of the servants and as a daughter of Downton she would have anything she needed. 

Anna was the most distraught, though she was able to hide it well. She loved all of the girls dearly and Y/N was the brightest soul she’d ever seen. The idea of that light dimming broke her heart. She couldn’t help but wonder what was going through Tom’s mind, the poor man. She was carrying a tray of toast up to the room so Sybil and Tom would have something to eat. It wasn’t proper, but Sybil knew Y/N would be the most comfortable with Anna. Thomas certainly wouldn’t be the friendliest face to wake up to. 

“Fortunately, this strain is only transmitted through contaminated liquids, usually drinking water.” Dr. Clarkson explained to those who had moved up to Y/N’s room. Violet and Isobel remained in the library, along with Edith to keep the Winstons at bay. 

“So we can be with her?” Cora likely would have stayed anyway, illness be damned. She was to stay by her baby’s side every second she could. Dr. Clarkson nodded. 

“And the Winstons are free to go.” Mary muttered, grateful at least that Y/N would not have to spend another moment in the same house as those girls. 

“Can I…” Tom tried to keep his composure as he looked down at his wife. “Can I hold her hand?” Dr. Clarkson’s eyes were filled with pity for the poor man. Tom didn’t want his pity. He wanted him to save his wife. 

“Of course.” 

“Must you all speak of me as if I’m not here?” You laughed weakly, your limbs heavy as you tried to move them. Tom was at your side in an instant. “You aren’t making a fuss of me, are you?” This was supposed to be Sybil’s dinner and you hated to ruin it. Tom laid a hand on your cheek. 

“You gave me quite a scare, darling.” His eyes were red from crying, making you feel even more guilty. 

“Now that you’re awake, I would like to do a more thorough examination.” Dr. Clarkson suggested. If they could determine how much the illness had progressed, he may be able to give the family more of an answer. He motioned towards the door and the family began to file out. Tom stayed beside you. 

“Tom,” Sybil began gently. “I’m afraid you’ll need to leave. Only for a few moments.” At first, he didn’t move. He couldn’t. His eyes were locked on his wife and he couldn’t bear to tear them away. 

“It’s best we all stay out of Sybil’s way.” You gave him the most reassuring smile you could muster. He nodded slightly and leaned over to kiss your forehead. 

“I’ll just be out in the hall.” He promised before reluctantly following the rest of the family out of the room. He felt as if all of the strength had left him. He could barely stand without leaning against the banister. His Y/N. His beautiful Y/N. She would be alright. She had to be. 

“Is there anything we can do, Tom? Anything at all?” Matthew asked, his wife standing silently beside him. Tom had always known Mary to be cold and lacking emotion, but now her eyes were filled with a sorrow that he’d never seen in them before. 

“Pray.” Tom choked out. Matthew gave him a sympathetic look and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Of course.” He wished that there was something else. Anything else. Tom was a good friend and he and Y/N deserved happiness. Matthew began to head downstairs, but his wife lingered. Mary looked as if she wanted to say something, but she just couldn’t find the words. She turned and followed her husband just as Edith was ushering the Winston’s out the door now that they were cleared to leave. 

Abigail and Margaret looked as if this were nothing more than an annoying inconvenience rather than someone’s life at stake. Abigail looked up and saw a distressed Tom and leaned over to his sister, hardly lowering her voice. 

“Look at him. Surely he’s the one who killed her. Who knows what sort of illnesses she’s contracted in that dirty country. And that train!” They shook their heads. He shrunk away, her words sinking into him like claws. Mary had had enough. 

“Have you no decency, Abigail?” She hissed, breaking away from Matthew to confront her. 

“I beg your pardon?” The family halted in their tracks and Edith gave her sister a pleading look. She didn’t want things worse than they already were. 

“First, you blatantly insult my sister at dinner and now you mock her husband as his poor wife lay ill and possibly dying!” She had raised her voice beyond what was proper but at the moment she didn’t care if the Queen heard her. “How dare you come in this home and act in such a manner.” 

“Really, Mary, did you expect all of society to accept your new… connections?” Margaret interjected, though Lady Crawley’s ferocity frightened her. 

“Those connections are my sister and my brother-in-law.” Mary fired back. Matthew was too stunned to intervene, and besides, he couldn’t help but feel pride fill his heart. “Former chauffeur or not, Tom Branson is more welcome here than you shall ever be. Now leave here and never come back.” 

“I will dismiss your outburst since your sister is dying.” Abigail held her chin up, her last words spoken with venom. “I do hope she gets better.” With that, the family scurried out quickly to avoid any more altercations. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” Tom’s quiet voice surprised Mary. He had joined them at the bottom of the stairs, his eyes sunken and red. If one didn’t know, they would think he was the one who was dying. Mary straightened her shoulders. 

“Believe me, Tom, I have been waiting to do that for years.” Sybil emerged from the room, signaling that it was okay to come back. The three rushed up the stairs, quickly joined by Cora and Robert. 

“This illness works quicker than anything I’ve ever seen.” Dr. Clarkson sighed, standing in the doorway. Tom looked at him in horror. 

“What does that mean?” Sybil stepped towards him. 

“Tom-”

“What does it mean!” He didn’t mean to be so rough when he grabbed Sybil’s shoulders. 

“Unhand her at once.” Robert ordered. The tensions were high and stress made everyone act strangely. 

“Papa, it’s alright.” Sybil slowly took Tom’s hands off of her, keeping a gentle gaze into his eyes. “Tom, I need you to try and calm down. Y/N needs to rest and we don’t want to upset her. Can you do that for me?” He swallowed hard and nodded before proceeding into the room. 

“I’ve caused a good deal of trouble, haven’t I?” You cried, weakly reaching out to your sister. “I’m sorry for ruining your birthday, Sybil.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You haven’t ruined anything.” Sybil smiled at you and Mary admired her ability to remain so sunny in such a dark time. 

“How are you feeling, love?” Tom took his place beside you, softly kissing your forehead. “I feel absolutely fine. I’m not sure what you’re all so worried about.” You teased, but laughing made your head ache terribly. 

“We must allow her to rest.” Dr. Clarkson instructed. “I recommend all of you to do the same.” Truthfully, he worried that an abundance of people in the room would excite you and make things worse. Mary and Matthew walked towards you and your eldest sister placed a hand on your cheek. 

“Married or not, you are still a Crawley woman. And us Crawley women never give up without a fight.” She said affectionately before she and her husband retired to their room. Your father put a hand on your mother’s shoulder. 

“Cora…”

“I’m staying here.” She pulled up a chair beside Tom. 

“Dr. Clarkson said-”

“I’m sure Dr. Clarkson has no quarrels with her mother staying with her.” Dr. Clarkson, of course, had no argument as long as Y/N was able to rest. 

“Mama, at least change into something more comfortable.” You instructed. She was still in her dinner clothes and you would hate for her to try and sleep in them. They could be dreadfully uncomfortable. After a moment’s hesitation, she agreed and went with your father to their room. Now, you wished to speak to your husband. “Sybil, Dr. Clarkson, would you mind stepping out? I would like to have a moment with Tom.” 

“Of course, dear.” Sybil dipped the cool cloth in the water before returning it to your forehead. Once the two were gone, you could see Tom’s resolve begin to crack. His shaking hand brought yours up and held it against his cheek. 

“Y-you must get better, my love.” He stammered, kissing your palm. He held back a sob. Tom was a strong man, but he was not one to hide his emotions for long. It broke your heart to see him like this. 

“My dear, you mustn’t shed tears for me.” You soothed, brushing a fallen tear away with your delicate fingers. “Everything is going to be alright.” You didn’t dare show him the fear that was slowly consuming you. You didn’t want to die. You hadn’t lived enough to die now. You wanted to grow old with the man you loved, to have a big family in Ireland and to watch your children run in the fields. You wanted to gather every Christmas and teach them songs. You wanted to kiss your children goodnight before falling asleep in your husband’s arms. 

“This is all my fault.” Tom uttered, now gently kissing the inside of your wrist. “Those women… they were right.” Abigail Winston’s words still cut deeply into his heart. “If I hadn’t taken you… if you had stayed here, at home with your family, this wouldn’t have happened. I should have cared for you, kept you safe. I should have-”

“Tom, stop this.” You sat up, fighting the heaviness in your limbs and ignoring your pounding head. “Those petulant girls know nothing but the comfort of their spoiled, insignificant lives. Their cruel hearts could never hold a love like the love I have for you. Whatever they have said came from a place of hatred and jealousy. This illness is in no way your fault, my darling.” 

“But if I hadn’t taken you from your home-”

“Downton isn’t my home, Tom.” You smiled. “My home is by your side, no matter where we are. My heart will always belong with you.” Tom mustered a small smile and pulled you into his arms. 

Dr. Clarkson and Sybil came back in, along with your mother. You were saddened by your father’s absence. You had hoped to mend your relationship if the worst should happen. Sybil continued cooling your arms and face with the water while Dr. Clarkson looked over his notes to find anything that could help treat the illness. 

“Is it alright for me to lie with her?” Tom begged, wanting to hold you in his arms so that you would not be afraid. Dr. Clarkson gave him a solemn nod. Tom climbed into the bed beside you and you rested your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around you. 

“Tom, I didn’t have the opportunity to apologize for the behavior of our guests.” Cora began grimly. 

“There’s no need, Lady Grantham.”

“I will not allow my family to be spoken to in such a manner.” She gave him a motherly smile and he realized that she meant it. She saw him as part of the family. Aside from Dr. Clarkson and Sybil’s murmurs to each other, the room fell silent. Exhausted from a hectic and emotional night, both Cora and Tom fell asleep, your mother resting her head on your hand and your husband holding onto you as if he alone could keep you from drifting away into the dark. 

You too closed your eyes, but only for an hour or so. When you opened them, Dr. Clarkson had gone- back to the hospital for supplies- and Sybil was sitting in a chair reading. Standing beside Cora was your father, looking down at you with tears in his eyes. You felt your heart swell with joy. He was here. 

“Papa,” You sighed happily, slowly moving your hand so you didn’t wake your mother. You reached it out to him and he took it. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Of course I’m here.” He exclaimed. “I could not stay tucked in bed knowing you were suffering.” You felt a surge of emotion and tried to keep your cries quiet so you wouldn’t alarm Sybil. 

“Tell me…” You took a shaking breath. “Tell me that we have not severed our ties forever. Tell me that you still hold a place in your heart for the daughter that married the driver.” 

“Y/N, sweet girl, while it is not the marriage I would have picked for you, I think of you every day. You never left my heart or my mind. You are my child. My familyYou will always be loved here.” You shared a smile, tears falling onto your cheeks. You looked to your husband.

“Can I ask something of you?”

“Anything you need.” Robert drew closer, leaning so that he could hear you better without you having to raise your voice. 

“If I-” You struggled to keep your voice from cracking. “If I don’t wake tomorrow, can you promise me something?”

“Must you talk like that-”

“Please, father.” You pleaded and he nodded. You brushed a stray hair away from Tom’s face, his steady breathing warm on your skin. “If I don’t wake tomorrow, will you care for him? I know he’ll return home, but could you look after him? He’s such a good man, papa.” You turned back to your father, tears coming faster now. “I do not wish for him to feel alone. I want him to be happy, even if it is without me.” You couldn’t not stop the sob that escaped your mouth and Sybil looked up from your reading. 

“Y/N, what is it, what’s wrong?”

“Please promise, father.” You begged. “Please say you’ll take care of him.” Robert clutched your hand tightly. 

“I promise.” You shared a quiet, tearful moment and knew that all was well between you. If you should succumb to your fever, at least you knew you were with the people you loved and who loved you in return. With that comfort, you closed your eyes and fell asleep.

-

Tom woke to the bright sun shining through the windows and the feeling of his wife’s cold skin. The complete terror that raced through him nearly stopped his heart. People were rushing around him, pulling him out of the bed and away from you. Cora was rushed out of the room before she even knew what was going on. 

“Let me go.” Tom begged, his voice barely above a whisper. He couldn’t speak correctly, unable to breathe. “Y/N. What’s wrong with her? Y/N!” Regaining his voice he began to shout, struggling against the servant that was holding him. “Sybil, what’s wrong? What’s going on? Let me go!” 

“Turn her on her side.” Sybil instructed Anna. Dr. Clarkson was in a panic. 

“There’s too many people in here.” He exclaimed. He didn’t have time to be sympathetic. Sybil looked at Tom. 

“I’m sorry, but you have to go.” She nodded at the servant holding him and he was dragged from the room. 

“No! I won’t leave her!!” He cried, fighting as hard as he could. He was sure he punched Thomas, but more servants were able to get a hold of him and pull him out. “She’s my wife, let me go! Y/N!” The door was slammed in his face and he desperately pounded his fist against the wood. “Let me in! Sybil, let me in!” 

“What is it? What’s happened?” Mary emerged from her room at the commotion, Matthew joining her. Cora was right beside him, begging her daughter to let her in the room. 

“Something’s wrong, they said we had to leave. She looked so pale.” Cora was starting to break into hysterics. She couldn’t lose her baby. 

“Oh god, Y/N!” Tom yelled again, banging on the door. Anna was barely able to get out without him pushing passed her. 

“Mr. Branson, Lady Grantham, Dr. Clarkson and Sybil need you to wait in the library until someone comes and finds you.” She felt strange, giving commands to Lady Grantham, but Sybil had specifically instructed her. Before either of them could argue, she added. “They can’t help her unless you let them. Please.” 

“Mama, we must let them work.” Mary pleaded, taking her mother’s hands. Her worried gaze switched to her brother-in-law. “Tom, we have to go.” 

“I won’t leave her.” He sobbed. 

“You’re not leaving her. You’re letting them help her.” 

He finally complied, following them down into the library while other members of the family slowly filed in. They all rushed to comfort Cora, only Matthew noticing when he slipped out of the room. He took refuge in one of the staircases that the servants used. The stairs he once used. In the silence, he sat down on a step and broke down. He gripped the railing, his body shaking it with his sobs. He thought he was alone. 

“Forgive me, I did not know you were in here.” Mrs. Hughes said suddenly, though she made no move to leave. Instead, she sat down beside him. There, in that staircase, he was just Mr. Branson- the rebellious chauffeur who brought so much love to this house- and he was about to lose his wife. “Poor lad.” She sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder. He leaned into her touch and found himself curling up beside her like a young boy crying to his mother. And she let him cry. 

It seemed like years had passed when Matthew opened the door. Tom was unable to read his expression. 

“Come quickly.” Was all he said. Tom didn’t wait for anything else. Outside the door, Cora stood, crying heavily. Tom tried to brace himself as he went in. He immediately fell to his knees beside the bed. 

You smiled at him, the color and warmth slowly starting to return to your face. 

“She’s going to be alright.” Dr. Clarkson informed happily. Tom pulled you into his embrace, both of you crying with relief. You pushed back slightly. 

“Perhaps we can go home now?” You laughed lightly. Tom put his hand on your cheek, looking into your eyes. 

“My darling,” He gently kissed your lips, “you are my home.” 

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto;

[wrienne]

My Cheating Amnesic Fiancé

Chapter 4: The Accident

He didn't follow you. But you knew he had seen your tears. You attempted to wipe them away as you hurried out of the stadium. You didn't know why you were crying. You should be shouting in glee and celebrate Jungkook's betrayal. You were free.

Why then, did it hurt so much?

Se-Eun’s face immediately turned serious when she saw you, and she silenced her tired, irritated mother and Min-Ji and Yeon-Woo. Something in your expression must have warned her and the others not to speak to you, for they remained quiet the whole ride home. Se-Eun’s mother made sure to drop you off first even though the ride to Gangnam would take the longest in addition to being a detour from the stadium.

“Call you tomorrow?” Se-Eun asked after you thanked her mother. Her eyes held concern.

“Sure,” you told her as you exited the car. You found yourself sounding much harsher than you had wanted, so you added, “thank you very much for the ride.”

Her mother nodded with a face so similar to Se-Eun’s that, when you had first met her, you had thought they were far-apart sisters. She was quite young too, having become a mother at 22. “You sure you don't want to sleep at ours? I know it's school tomorrow, but Se-Eun told me your parents are in Japan and would be there until next week.”

“I'll be alright,” you said quickly. “I'm used to it.” You obviously didn't feel like hanging out at the moment. Even though Se-Eun was more tactful than most, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from asking you what had happened.

And you definitely didn't want to have a repeat of Jungkook’s not-really-yet-actual infidelity. Although, it wasn't as if you could talk about it even if you wanted to.

“See you!” Se-Eun and the others said. You could see the curiosity brimming over in her friends’ eyes.

You managed a weak smile. “Yeah.”

It was empty in your parents' apartment. A note on the refrigerator door reminded you that they were away on a combined work and vacation trip in Osaka together with Jungkook’s parents. All four of them were gone until Saturday. That meant that if you told your parents now, Jungkook's parents would also know and they would have six days to argue.

You hesitated to dial your dad. Perhaps you should tell him and your mom face to face. Although that wasn't really a valid excuse since there was something as simple as a facecam option on KakaoTalk. Still, you found yourself reluctant to make the call.

With a tired exhale, you went to rummage your cupboards for a packet of noodles. You had missed dinner due to Se-Eun’s sudden invitation and your stomach had given up growling hours ago. Also, you just felt like eating something bad.

You refused to acknowledge the reason why, though.

While you waited for the water to boil, you readied a tray with chopsticks, a spoon, some water and a tiny serving of kimchi, so you could bring the food to the living room. You were used to eating alone. When your grandparents on your father’s side had been alive, you had almost always dined with them whenever your parents were away. It was the least they could do after having grown too old to travel, thus passing on the responsibility of being the head representative of Phoenix Inc. to your father. But ever since your grandma had passed and your grandpa had become sick due to his grief before slowly slipping away five years ago, you had dealt with food yourself. You had never known your grandparents on your mother’s side, for they had passed before you were born, and none of your other relatives lived even nearby Seoul.

It didn't matter much, though. Loneliness had been your companion through life as far back as you could remember. The curse of fortune, you reckoned.

You placed the square of noodles into the steaming hot water and poured the packets of spices and dried vegetables in after. The tiny screen on the microwave said 23:31. You would hate yourself for eating that late into the night instead of sleeping, especially since you were supposed to go to school tomorrow at eight in the morning. But as you stirred everything around, watching the noodles and the vegetables soften and the clear water turn reddish, you found yourself feeling eerily awake.

You reluctantly recalled the expression on Jungkook’s face. It had almost seemed like he had wanted to add something to your conversation. Something vital. What could it have been? He wasn't stupid enough to think he could get away with a girlfriend while being engaged to another, was he? No, you didn't think so. There had to be a reason - no matter how bad or unexpected - why he decided to remain with you if now his heart belonged to her.

“Stop it,” you mumbled underneath your breath. “Get him out of your head, he's not worth spending brainpower over. Just call your parents tomorrow morning, since they’re probably sleeping now anyways. Let them handle this poor investment of their only daughter.”

Your voice sounded bitter. Your face probably looked bitter. But hey, at least you were out of a potentially devastating marriage. You didn't know what you would have done if you found out about Park Yi-Jae after the walk to the altar. Let's just say, a packet of noodles in the middle of the night would have been the least of your concerns.

You were seated in front of your TV, absentmindedly flipping through channels when you finally felt sleep creep over your eyelids and body. Your saucepan had cooled since long and your glass of water had been emptied and filled, twice. Turning the TV off, you headed toward the kitchen with your dishes when an unexpected sound pierced through the silence.

Ring, ring, ring.

It was your phone. You darted the last meters into the kitchen, having forgotten the phone on the kitchen island, and picked it up. You didn't recognize the number.

Why would someone call you in the middle of the night?

Scratch that, it was past the middle of the night, you realized as you eyed your microwave. However, there wasn't really that much time for you to think, so you, without considering the possibilities, simply answered.

“Hello?” you said hesitantly.

“Er...” a low, male voice began. “Who is this?”

“Shouldn't you know since you called?” you parried, instantly growing suspicious. The person sounded vaguely familiar, though you couldn't put your finger on who it was.

“Well, it’s the only number I haven't already called on this phone and it doesn't exactly say the proper name of a person.”

You frowned. “What?”

You suddenly heard some voices in the background near you - or rather, the speaker on the other line - and you discerned, “He actually cracked the code!” and “Who are you talking to?” until finally: “Taehyung, give me the phone.”

There was some rough scratching in your ear. Your frown deepened when another male’s voice spoke to you.

“This is Kim Sejin, one of the head managers of the Bangtan Boys.”

“Okay?” you said slowly.

“Are you related to or friends with Jeon Jungkook?”

“I wouldn't say either of those applies,” you answered, feeling cold at the mere mention of his name. “But I do know a guy with that name, who just happens to be in Bangtan.”

The voice sighed. It was a long, weary exhale, and suddenly you tensed.

Suddenly, you knew something was terribly wrong.

“There… there has been a severe accident. If you could come to Asan Medical Center as soon as possible, that would be very helpful. Do you need help getting here?”

You simply stood there, numb.

An accident?

“What kind of accident?” you heard yourself ask.

“It'll be easier to explain once you're on place,” said Sejin impatiently. “When can you get here?”

“I... I can be there in twenty if traffic is good,” you heard yourself say.

“I'll meet you at the front desk.”

The whole ride there, you were so concerned you couldn't even sit still. You hadn't even bothered calling your parents chauffeur. The cab driver gave you odd looks while you fidgeted, scratched your arm and did and undid your hair. You couldn't care less that you looked like you had taken a dose of something, and something cheap and really poorly made at that. You were too busy worrying.

What had happened? Why was Jungkook at the hospital? No matter how much you enjoyed seeing him lose his composure or fumble, you would never even consider wanting him hurt. Not even once, not even a little. It didn't matter what he had done to you - you would never ever, ever wish harm upon Jeon Jungkook. Scumbag and cheater aside, he was the son of your parents' closest friends - and one of few constants that existed in your life. Even if he was an unfriendly one.

Also, there was that one time when you were both children that you had yet to repay him for.

After paying the driver, you sprinted into the main doors of AMC. A middle-aged man in quite a good physique stood by the front desk and furrowed his brows at your abrupt entrance until recognition lighted his eyes.

“(Y/F/N)?” Creases appeared in his forehead, and he raised an eyebrow. “Was it you I was speaking with?”

“Yes,” you quickly replied. “Though don't say my name too loudly.”

There were a surprisingly low amount of visitors or patients, though considering the time of the day - or were you supposed to say night? - perhaps it wasn't that odd. Yet, considering the guy hospitalized, you had expected some kind of paparazzi.

“Pleasure meeting you finally,” the man said and reached out his hand. “If only the situation had been different, I might have actually meant it. I'm Kim Sejin.”

“Likewise, and yes, I figured. Where is the media?” you asked after shaking his hand. His hand was heavy, calloused. “Shouldn't they be here, being vultures or parasites or whatever else they call journalism?”

Sejin let out a tired chuckle before turning sober. “It happened privately, and much too sudden. We were fortunate with that, at least.”

You swallowed hard as your heart started beating faster. “Where is he? What happened?”

“Follow me, I'll tell you meanwhile.”

He began walking down the eastern corridor, which fortunately didn't say critical care. You obeyed, walking next to him while you tried not to think about what horror might have befallen Jungkook.

“I don't know why he acted the way he did,” began Sejin, then gave you a sharp glance. “But after you two had 'talked', the kid was devastated. I thought he would cheer up after some drinks in celebration of the concert. He did, too - at least for an hour or so he seemed happy. Then, all of a sudden, he decided to bolt out onto the street, shouting something about ‘making things right.'” Sejin grimaced. “He didn't see the car, or at least I don't think he did.”

“He would never commit suicide,” you told Sejin firmly, remembering a scene from years back. “He loves his singing and dancing too much for that.”

“I really hope so.”

“Believe me,” you said as you did your very best to fight back the anger rising within you at the memory. Old bruises on young skin. Alcohol and smoke-laced words. “Jungkook has been through some terrible things in order to reach where he is today. He wouldn't give it all up just like that.”

Sejin gave you an inquisitive look but you shook your head. This wasn't your story to tell.

"Besides," you added with a half-hearted smile. "He would never die for me."

“Very well.” He paused outside a room. Again, his features turned serious. “This is it. He is awake and although the tests and scans aren't completely finished, the doctor thinks he's fine. She said he could count himself lucky that he only broke his arm, even if it was his right one.”

“Well then,” you said and put your hand on the metallic door handle, feeling a wave of relief sweep over you. “Why did you sound so worried earlier then? You told me it was a severe accident.”

“There is this one detail…”

You rolled your eyes. “A scar on his pretty face won’t dissuade any of the fans’ from supporting him. In fact, it’ll probably make him look a bit tougher and even more desirable. That’s nothing to be ashamed of - on the contrary, actually.”

Kim Sejin pursed his lips before speaking. “It’s not his face that’s the issue.”

And the next few words he said would come to permanently change your life. For better or worse, you didn’t know. At least not yet.

“He is amnesic, (Y/N).”

[chaseatinydream]

sly san who sacrifices (ii) || c.s (atz)

➳ pairing: reader x choi san (ateez)

➳ word count: 2396

➳ genre: badboy au; fluff; angst

➳ synopsis: to the school, he may be a bad boy, the worst of the worst, but to you, he’s choi san, father of three cats, your best friend and ultimately, the boy you’re in love with.

>>>

The second you step out of the car, you can already hear the mewing of cats.

“Yobu!” You laugh as the tiny grey ragdoll leaps into your arms, fingers brushing its fur back. The tiny feline lets out a content mew and you press a kiss to its adorable nose. You love all of San’s cats, having helped him in taking care of each and every one of them, but you have a soft spot for Yobu in particular. After all, he’s the cat that had allowed you and Seonghwa, one of San's friends, to meet.

San looms up behind your shoulder.

“Yah, Yobu, that’s my friend, not yours.” He scolds the kitten sternly and you give San a flat look of exasperation. He doesn’t look intimidating in the slightest, not when he looks like he’s about to topple over any moment. Concern wells up in you once again and you call over your shoulder to Claude, who’s still at the car.

“I’ll bring him up, Claude!”

The chauffeur nods acknowledgement and before San can protest, you’re already pulling him into the mansion after you.

You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the grandeur and luxury of San’s home. A sprawling, lavish mansion made nearly entirely out of white and grey marble, and designed by a famous architect whose name you can’t quite pronounce, this place screams luxury and wealth. Built all for the sake of your best friend Choi San, only son to a globally successful business mogul and fashion entrepreneur, you sometimes wonder how cheap money is to people like them. San tries his best to make you forget the gap between the two of you, but other times, it’s near overwhelming for you.

You remember him asking you once, “Why would people buy knock-off goods when they can just get the real ones?”

You had never been so tempted to slap him.

The floor is cool against your bare feet and the helper bows to you as you drag San up the stairs to his bedroom. You’ve been here so many times you could your way around this mansion blindfolded, and the mansion is huge. Your best friend trails after you silently aside from the odd cough, and when the two of you emerge into his room, he merely flops onto his king sized bed with a tired groan.

He must have been really exhausted.

“I’ll go get some warm water and medicine for you!” You chirp and San merely lets out a tired noise of agreement, the sound muffled in the soft, downy pillows on his bed.

When you return with the essentials to make your best friend comfortable, San is curled up in his bed with his face buried underneath his Shiber toy plush, specially customized and hand sewn to look like Shiber. Tapping on his shoulder, you rouse him from his fever induced slumber.

“Hey, San, you need to drink some water and take your meds before you go to sleep.”

He grumbles a little but still complies, sitting up in the bed to face you with a pout, hair mussed from tossing about on the bed. You press the glass of warm water to his dry lips and he tilts his head back to drink, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows it all greedily. Concern wells up in your chest as you look at his pallid face.

He’s probably a lot more sick than he’s letting on.

But that’s just like San, you sigh under your breath as you watch him drink thirstily, rubbing at the bags under his eyes. You wonder why he hasn’t been sleeping enough. Has he been out clubbing again?

You don’t really want to think about the answer.

When that’s done, you grab the pills and tear out two tablets for San, holding them out for him to take. “For your fever. You should be fine when you wake up if you just take a couple of these.” You tell him as you set the now empty glass on his bedside table, but you don’t feel him take the pills from your hand, so you turn around to glance at him.

He stares at you expectantly.

You stare back, befuddled.

“What?”

“Well, aren’t you supposed to put them in your mouth and kiss me like in those movies?” San’s wearing a shit eating grin so wide that you’re not sure whether his brain has really been fried or if he’s just plain crazy. You stare at him in horrified disbelief for a second longer and he merely continues grinning at you like a cat that just got the canary, seemingly pleased with how red your face is becoming. “I’m not eating those on my own, they’re bitter, you know.”

Your mouth falls open at the sheer audacity of his words. Where on earth had they come from?

Then you shriek and clobber him hard over the head with a pillow.

“Ow! Ow! Yeowch! Stop hitting me, woman!” San yelps, scrambling away from you as fast as he can with the blankets tangled around his legs. You chase him with the heavy pillow held high above your head, bringing it down on his head again and again, intent on beating out the stupidity in him. He’s not nearly fast enough in this ill state and before he can reach any relative safety, you’ve already grabbed him by the ankles and are dragging him back to you.

“No! Spare me!” San thrashes about comically, trying to wriggle his way out of your grasp much like an actual cat, but you sit on his back, firmly trapping his flailing arms under your legs and then proceed to attack his sides with an assault of furious tickles.

“Aieeeee! Mercy! Have mercy on me!” Screeches fill the air, San’s voice getting increasingly high pitched when your fingers move to his armpits. Only when he’s crying and shouting and laughing weakly through tears all at once do you finally pull off him, smacking him over the head one more time for good measure.

“That’s for saying all those stupid comments!” You shout at him breathlessly, still flushed from a combination of exertion and embarrassment. San sits up next to you, still choking on a few final exhausted giggles, red streaked hair thoroughly mussed from the little roughhousing the two of you just had and the biggest, fondest grin on his face.

You hate how your heart just melts at the sight.

To distract yourself, you shove the pills into his mouth with one hand and San obediently crunches them down this time, watching you intently as you wring out a few damp towels next to him, gesturing for him to lie down. His heart warms in his chest at the sight, and when he closes his eyes, sometimes he just wishes that he could be the right one for you instead–

He purges the thought from his mind before it can go too far.

“Here you go, San.” Your voice is gentle for him, soft, sweet, innocent, a polar opposite to everything he is, so familiar and warm.

He counts it a blessing that you still remain at his side despite everything he’s done, no matter how many tears you shed over him and the times your heart has been rent in two because of his misdoings and fights.

He lays back down on the pillows, eyes shut tight against the sight of your face hovering above his. But as if you’re trying to tempt him unconsciously, you move his head into your lap and he nearly goes rigid in a panic.

“I’ve been talking to Seonghwa a lot recently, you know. He’s a great friend.” You tell him absentmindedly as your soft fingers brush the hair on his forehead back. Something in him twists, a sense of satisfaction that his carefully laid plan is falling into place, but also something darker, something more selfish, a certain sort of gut wrenching emptiness that he doesn’t want to think too much about.

San is still your best friend.

And that’s all he’ll ever be to you.

The cool cloth rests against his forehead and he sighs at how good it feels against his heated skin, but it probably has to do more with how your hands are gently kneading against his temples rather than the actual cloth itself. Upon hearing his little exhale of comfort, you glance at his face with a content smile, shaking your head with some kind of exasperation and warmth settling deep in your chest.

“Are you close to Seonghwa-oppa, San?” You ask as your fingers thread through his hair and he presses into your touch, for some reason desperately craving the feeling of your skin on his. He wants to treasure every last time he gets to be close to you like this, because it might come to an end all too soon.

Why does it hurt?

“He’s a nice guy. Boyfriend material.” San has never had to force a smile around you and it feels wrong on his lips, brittle like cracked glass against his skin. You are the one person he would never want to lie to, but if it’s for the sake of you and Seonghwa’s happiness, who is he to stand in the way?

“Yeah! He’s nothing like you.” You laugh cheerfully, teasingly bopping his nose with a finger and San barely manages to hold back a flinch at your words, his expression twisting in pain as if you’ve just shoved a knife into his chest straight. Honestly, he’d rather you just do that instead, it’d probably hurt a lot less.

“San? San, are you alright?” You frown in concern, bending down to glance at his face. The tips of your hair tickle his face gently and he can feel your breath against his cheeks, and maybe, just maybe, he wants to reach up and just pull you down to him–

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He lies again through his teeth. Maybe if he lies enough times, the pain in his chest will go away. Some part of him wants you to call him out on his deception, but you’ve always been too innocent for the things of this world and San is perhaps just a little too good at hiding his true feelings behind a carefully painted mask. “So, what were you saying again about Seonghwa?”

And he watches your face light up as you chatter animatedly to him about one of his best friends, Park Seonghwa, wondering why his chest hurts so much even when your eyes shine with excitement and joy.

He’s a selfish bastard, and he hates it.

He really needs to get the two of you together before he does something he regrets.

[1dsource]

Author Spotlight: lovelarry10

Don’t forget to show the author to leave kudos and comments to show the author love!

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Harry just stared, not blinking at the man in front of him, wondering what he’d done in a past life to deserve this.

“You’re Louis Tomlinson.”  

“I was last time I checked,” Louis chuckled, still leaning in through the passenger window. Harry knew he was staring and not in a polite way, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn away in case this was all a dream, and he most definitely didn't want to wake up if that was the case. “Can I get in, then? Would kind of like to avoid more photos of my arse in the paper if it’s alright with you...”

*****

Harry’s job as a chauffeur for the rich and famous was not as flashy as he’d thought. Late nights having to listen to the ridiculous demands and whims of these high profile clients leaves him disheartened with the world he thought was all glitz and glamour.

One night his boss asks him a favour. To collect one last client before he clocks off. Only problem is when that client gets into the car it’s Louis Tomlinson. As in Harry’s all time crush. As in future husband and father of all his children Louis Tomlinson.

He can be cool and professional, right?

Kiss From A Rose

Words: 15k

Harry is the quiet one in the office no one ever notices. Until Louis does, that is. When notes start appearing on Harry’s desk, he ponders who is behind the kind words, oblivious to Louis’ attempts to get his attention....

Just Let Me Adore You

Words: 26k

When Louis’ daughter presents him with a Christmas gift far beyond the price range of a four year old, he jumps to the worst of conclusions.   He’s pleasantly surprised when he finds out how she isn’t as naughty as he thought she was, and who came to her rescue..

Part 1 of The Millie Verse

Always You

Words: 15k

“You think he’ll want to come?” Millie asked the question that had been clearly troubling her, and Louis just grinned, nodding. He knew it was right up Harry’s street, and that his husband would near-collapse from the emotion of being asked to something so important to Millie. “Really really?”

“I really really think he will,” Louis grinned, cuddling his daughter tightly again.

*****

Valentine’s Day is one of Millie's favourite holidays. It’s all about love, and boy does she love to love. She loves her daddies, she loves her auntie's and her grandparents. She even loves her new best friend, much to her Daddy’s worry. But this year is going to be extra special if her Papa accepts her question! Harry also wants to make this holiday special for his two loves, while Louis has his own surprise up his sleeve...

Part 2 of The Millie Verse

(Last update: 28/02-20)

Piece by Piece

Words: 168k

Now that his best friend Liam is getting married Louis Tomlinson needs help, and he’s finally admitted it. He can’t work and be the best dad to his disabled son Mason without it. That’s where Harry Styles comes in.

And so begins the love story of a lifetime.

Part 1 of The Mason-Verse

To Carry Love

Words: 21k

Picking up a few years after Piece by Piece, we catch up with the Tomlinson-Styles as they celebrate the arrival of Liam's first child, and make a few choices of their own...

Part 2 of The Mason-Verse

I Get To Love You

Words: 83k

A one night stand leaves Harry with a permanent reminder of the night he spent with a stranger.

Louis has no idea who the handsome stranger he took to bed is... until his friends make a shocking discovery.

A baby is on the way, and Louis and Harry have nine months to get to know each other before they become a family...

There You Are

Words: 82k

 “How do you know I’ve got problems?” Harry asked, cocking his eyebrows at the man next to him, suddenly full of a deep desire to confess everything if it kept Louis’ eyes on him for the rest of eternity. 

“Your eyes,” Louis said with a shrug. “They look a bit sad. I don’t like that. So go on, unburden yourself to your friendly neighbourhood stripper.”  

“You’re not just a stripper,” Harry mumbled as he took another sip of his drink, mentally debating with himself over how to word what he was about to say before he figured he’d just say it in the simplest way possible. “I found my husband in bed fucking another man.”

****

*Harry’s entire life has fallen apart - in one night, his carefully planned future is suddenly uncertain.

Then he meets Louis.

You Are My Sunshine

Words: 17k

“Hi!” Charlie said, stopping at the end of the driveway of a small house and waving at the man. “Mornin’!”  

“Well, you just made my day,” the man said, walking towards Charlie and Louis with a big smile on his face. “Thank you so much!”  

“Bye!” was all Charlie returned with, and the man laughed, looking straight at Louis for a moment.  

“Bye, have fun!”   “

We will, thanks,” Louis replied with a smile, still a bit mesmerised by the stranger. 

*****

Charlie is a happy little boy, he smiles and waves at everyone around him, making Louis the proudest dad. Charlie’s spark of personality and a well timed hello brings a stranger into his and Louis’ lives when they least expect it...

The Little Dog Whisperer

Words: 28k

Louis lives alone with his dog Clifford. When he spots a sign in the neighbourhood advertising dog walking services, along come Harry and his son Alfie into his life… 

All I Do is Want You

Words: 31k

“Lou, if he knew how you felt, he might change how he feels?” 

“And that’s the last thing I want!” Louis threw up his hands as he spoke, exasperated as he always was when it came to this particular topic of conversation. “I don’t want him to feel like he owes me something, or that he has to reciprocate my feelings, Zayn. He doesn’t feel that way towards me and I’ve come to terms with that, okay? You need to as well.” 

“I would if you actually meant it,” Zayn mumbled in reply, barely ducking in time as Louis lobbed a cushion at him. “You know this isn’t healthy, right? That you can’t just keep fucking him because you’re scared you’re gonna lose him?”

Harry loves his best mate Louis. He especially loves the casual sex they indulge in. Trouble is, Louis’ in love with Harry. Surely it’s destined to end in heartbreak...

The Daddiest Place on Earth

Words: 23k

dilfs_atdisneyworld: Ooh he's popular. Is it me or has it got hot in here? #dilf #hothothot #gimme

louist91: What the hell? Why the fuck am I on a DILFs page again?"

dilfs_atdisneyworld: louist91, Hello! You're on here because you're a DILF. A dad I'd like to f...😜  

Louist91: dilfs_atdisneyworld Oh my god. Fuck off mate.

***

Louis. Harry. Instagram. A whole lot of confusion and a whole lot of laughs...

I Knew You Were Waiting For Me

Words: 26k

Harry has been hearing his soulmates voice for years now, and he's just desperate to meet the person he knows he's meant to be with.

Louis has come to think that he's destined to never meet his soulmate.

A chance camping holiday with their best friends just might end in all of their dreams coming true.

How It Would Feel To Be Free

Words: 90k

"When's she due?” 

“She said next month,” Harry replied quickly, ignoring the look of shock on Louis’ face. “How the hell am I going to tell my parents that I’m going to be a father, and to a baby born out of wedlock? It’s going to be some whole-ass scandal, Lou, and I can’t ... I can’t-”

“I’ll help you. Whatever it takes, Harry, I’ll be there for you.”

When Prince Harry unexpectedly becomes a father, his best friend Louis steps in. The masses believe the baby is Louis’, but all Harry wants is to tell the world the truth - about the baby and his feelings for Louis.

Waited All Year To Be Near

Words: 27k

“Your kids are so fuckin’ great, Lou, seriously. Like, Leo reminds me so much of you, and Molly is just bloody beautiful, that kid loves me, I swear to God.”

“Oi, not as much as she’s gonna love her Papa,” Louis chided, jokingly smacking Niall on the arm. “And Haz? He’s coping okay?”

“You know him, course he is. He’s wonder Dad, dunno how he does it. Misses you, though. He thinks we don’t catch the little touches of his wedding ring, or the way he glances at your photos whenever he walks by. But we do. He’s like… he’s strong for everyone else, but he needs you, Louis. He needs someone to be strong for him, too.”

****

Harry’s preparing for the holidays at home with his four children while Louis is deployed. All he wants is his husband home for Christmas. But Louis’ half a world away...

With The Strength To Carry On

Words: 113k

The American British Doctoral Exchange Program was the best thing that ever happened to Louis. It gave him a chance to start over and make a real difference in the world. He could focus on work and not be distracted by anything or anyone. When Harry Styles shows up as the new intern, he turns Louis' world upside down.

Harry Styles had one passion in life, and that was helping sick children feel better. Putting smiles on their faces made Harry feel like he was making up for past mistakes and losses. When he gets accepted to the American British Doctoral Exchange Program, he treats it as the chance of a lifetime to make a difference internationally. He didn't expect to fall for his mentor along the way....

or the one where Louis and Harry are doctors, and things happen.

Made From Love

Words: 14k

It's almost Christmas, and amongst the preparations, Louis' realised something about his husband Harry.

Harry, however, seems to be oblivious.

Louis' determined to open Harry's eyes and make him realise the real magic that's happening this Christmas...

I Don’t Wanna Hide Us Away

Words: 3k

It's the X Factor final, and Louis' excited to see Little Mix perform. As he sits back to watch, he's blissfully unaware of how his life is about to change... 

The Pain Is For Pleasure

Words: 67k

“Louis, please. I promise you, you are so attractive to me. I love you, and I think you are the sexiest man I’ve ever been with-”  

“But Harry, that’s the fucking problem! You haven’t been with me, have you?! You don’t want me in that way, it’s pretty clear…” He cut him off, feeling that he was about to say something he would later regret. “If there’s a problem, I wish that you felt you could have told me, rather than, well, this.” 

“Louis, I-” 

“Just leave it, Haz. I get it, okay?” 

“No! You don’t, you have no fucking idea, Louis!”

Louis and Harry have been together for a few months. Everything is great, but there’s one question burning in the back of Louis' mind - why won’t Harry have sex with him?

Baby We Could Be Enough

Words: 74k

Harry Styles has always wanted a family, but his boyfriend doesn’t. When an unexpected pregnancy leaves Harry feeling alone and terrified, he feels he has no choice but to give up his baby. He finds a family with the adoptive parents, and maybe something more.

Louis Tomlinson and his wife, Jess, have been trying for a baby for years. Their hasty marriage after they first got pregnant has only led to a series of miscarriages that have put a strain on their already precarious relationship. When they meet a young man desperate for a home and someone to raise his child, Louis realizes that he may have been moving in the wrong direction all along.

Step Into The Light

Words: 13k

Harry’s filming his music video for his new song in the humid heat of Cancun, Mexico after dark.

Louis watches him with hooded eyes from behind the visor of his motorcycle helmet watching it all go down.

How far can Harry push his desire?

It’s Coming Home

Words: 14k

Harry hates football and is reluctantly dragged to Hyde Park to watch the semi-final. It’s not the football that catches his eye though, it’s the cute blue-eyed boy at the next VIP balcony...

Or the one where Harry and Louis are strangers who meet at the England vs Croatia semi-final match being screened in London and maybe find what it is they've been searching for.

It’s My Party (And I’ll Cry If I Want To)

Words: 32k

“Sorry, who are you?”  

“Oh. Yes. I’m Harry, from Fabulous Frog? I did ring the bell a few times, but there was no answer, and I heard laughter so I thought I’d pop my head round…”   

“Oh! You’re the party person! Wow, of course. I’m sorry, lost track of time playing with these monsters,” Louis said, hurrying over and shaking Harry’s outstretched hand. “Lovely to meet you. Did you want to sit out here rather than indoors? Seems too nice a day to waste inside, and I can watch the children.” 

“Sounds fine to me. I hope I didn’t scare you, or them? Some people don’t expect a guy to turn up when they ask to speak to me...”

*****

Louis needs help planning the party of the year for his siblings. Party planner Harry Styles is the last thing he expects.

Look How Far We’ve Come My Baby

Words: 5k

Harry’s finishing up his tour in LA, and has a surprise planned for his boyfriend. He’s devastated when Louis can’t make it to the show, but little does he know, Louis has a little something up his sleeve... 

Could You?

Words: 2.9k

It's Louis' final night on tour, and he has one more thing to do, the moment he's been waiting for.

It's finally here.

Clumsy

Words: 12k

Louis loves taking Clifford to the market every weekend. It’s their thing. But when Cliff manages to trip over a handsome stranger, on Valentine’s Day of all days, it might just be the start of something new and exciting... 

Love Will Tear Us Apart

Words: 103k

“You ruined my fucking life, Harry. You stopped me living my dream because you’re a selfish bastard who couldn’t keep himself clean for five fucking minutes. You took away my independence, my freedom, my choices, Harry. And I hate you for that, I hate you!” 

As he spat out the final words, Louis felt all of the fight go out of him. He slumped back into the chair, his heart racing his chest, his head beginning to swim. It was a familiar feeling, and one Louis didn't like. He looked up, finally meeting Harry’s gaze for the first time in a while.  

“Out of everyone in my life, Harry, I never thought you’d be the one to hurt me. Not like this.”

A story of two halves.

Louis and Harry had it all - a career, friendship, and some of the best sex either of them had ever had.

But Harry ruins it all with one life-changing mistake ... and Louis is left to pay the price.

Spellbound

Words: 22k

Louis’ a shifter. Harry’s a witch. The only problem is, they’re hiding those things from each other.

Will they be able to keep their secrets hidden at the most spooky time of year?

Baby, Honey

Words: 7.3k

Harry's been talking about sex and babies on stage too much for Louis' liking, so he decides to give him what he wants...

Or the one with the aftermath of Harry's Detroit concert...

Strip That Down

Words: 7.5k

“You’re doing well,” came Louis’ voice, and Harry’s eyes flew open, craning his head to see Louis sat on the sofa across the room, legs crossed, hands resting in his lap as he sat there, an amused smile on his lips. “A bit of a wimp, but I guess it must hurt-”

“You guess? My legs are on fucking fire, Louis,” Harry retorted, his voice a little shaky still. The alcohol he’d been consuming all night was doing nothing to numb the pain, and the thought Louis thought he was a wimp wasn’t helping. “You have literally no idea how much this hurts.”

“No pain kink, then. I’ll bear that in mind,” Louis said smugly as Jesy walked back into the room, a fresh pot of wax in her hands. “Oh goody, here we go again.”

“Please don’t do my thighs, please-”

“Them’s the rules…” Jesy muttered as she started swiping wax over Harry’s left thigh.

*****

Offering to wax his legs as part of a bet wasn’t one of Harry's finer ideas, but if it has Louis ogling his thighs, who is he to complain?

I’m A Buff Baby, But I Dance Like A Man

Words: 10k

“Do not call me a ‘tiktokker’, Louis, I'm a dancer,” Harry said, using air quotes around Louis’ made up word with his fingers. “So have you changed your mind about TikTok?” 

Louis gave Harry a wicked smile, their eyes fixed on each others. “No. It’s still shit.”  

“Wanker.”

~*~

Louis despises the mere existence of TikTok. Unfortunately, his boyfriend Harry has decided that during quarantine, he’s going to become the latest TikTok dancing sensation...

Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

Words: 10k

Harry whimpered as Louis pushed himself up onto his tiptoes, grazing his ear lobe with his lips. His breath tickled Harry’s ears, and Harry swallowed, already anticipating what Louis was about to say.

“I’d like to ride you, cowboy…”

**

Harry's a barman at Flaming Saddles, a country and western themed gay bar.

Louis’ a customer who’d like to see if the tall barman is as good on the ropes as everyone says he is...

(I Can Show You How To) Slow Dance

Words: 15k

Louis feels nervous about asking his boyfriend Harry to his dance. Harry is quick to dismiss his worries and is determined to make it a night Louis will never forget... 

A Lot of Fight Left in Me

Words: 139k

A few years after One Direction, Louis and Harry Tomlinson are happily married, have 5 year old twins and life seems pretty perfect. Their children have started school, and they're still in regular contact with their bandmates and best friends, Niall and Liam.

However, when their daughter receives some news they could have never expected, their whole world gets turned upside down. With a little help from friends and family and their love keeping them afloat they’re determined to take back their happiness, believing in the fact that love really is all you need.

You’re My Only Hope

Words: 12k

Harry and Louis have been hoping to start a family for a while, but it hasn't happened for them just yet. With the surprise arrival of a newborn baby on the doorstep at work, are their family dreams about to become reality? 

Part 1 of A Life That’s Good

Tiny Dancer

Words: 8.9k

“Why are you awake at-” Harry craned his head to see the clock on his bedside table, cringing when he saw it was just six in the morning. “Six? Too early, love!”

“I’m too excited to sleep,” Hope confessed, giggling softly to herself. “My show is today and I want to get up and get into my leotard and my tutu and my ballet slippers."

*****

It's Hope's first ballet recital, and Harry and Louis are more than excited to watch their four year old daughter perform for the first time.

Part 2 of A Life That’s Good

Who You Are

Words: 10k

“Lou? What is it?”

“No idea, Haz. It’s addressed to us, lemme read it.”

Harry nodded and Louis’ tired eyes skimmed the words, eyes widening when he realised who it was from.

“Shit, it’s been forwarded by Social Services.”

Harry hurried to sit up at that, and the pair of them leaned in, trying to read everything, to work out what was going on.

“Louis… we can’t lose them…”

“They’re ours, Harry. Have been for years, darling. But this is about Oscar..."

~*~

Things are going wonderfully for Harry and Louis. Their family has never been stronger. When a connection to their son’s past appears out of nowhere, it makes them wonder what lies ahead for the future of their family.

Part 3 of A Life That’s Good

We Got Love

Words: 12k

Harry and Louis thought their family was complete. They were wrong. 

Part 4 of A Life That’s Good

Follow Your Arrow

Words: 10k

“Come on, you can talk to me, you know. I won’t judge sweetheart. Or we can wait til your other dad’s home and we can-”

“No!”

Harry blinked, a little startled at the ferocity with which Hope had answered him then.

“No? Is it… has Papa said something to you?”

Hope’s hair dropped in front of her face as she shook her head again, biting nervously on her lip now. “It’s not him. I love both of you. I just… I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. I can’t tell him.”

*****

Hope has a crush, but she’s scared to tell her parents, especially Louis. Harry helps her figure out how to break the news to her other dad, who is ultimately nothing but wonderful.

Part 5 of A Life That’s Good

Summer Love

Words: 11k

"Papa! PAPA!”

"What, love?”

"You coming in?”

"Go on Lou,” Harry encouraged, knowing Grace had been waiting ages for her dad to come in the pool with her. “I’ll wait here. Might go and chat to Hope for a bit.”

"Okay,” Louis said, pecking Harry as he stood up. “No eating all my fruit salad, alright?”

"Can’t promise anything,” Harry said before he walked off, leaving Louis to walk over to the pool. He sat down on the poolside, letting his feet dip into the cool blue water, smiling at the sight of children splashing around, having fun with their family members. His daughter soon swam up to him, wet hands and arms resting on his warm thighs as she smiled up at him, her blonde hair plastered to her head.

*****

The Tomlinsons are off on a summer holiday before it’s time for everything to change...

Part 6 of A Life That’s Good

Right Here Waiting

Words: 5.1k

Louis and Harry are expecting a baby. Harry's heavily pregnant and nesting madly, determined to make their home ready for their baby. 

The Boy With The Pearl Earring

Words: 14k

 “I just… I loved it tonight. Being myself, wearing all this in front of the cameras. I know there’ll be people who hate it but I don’t care. I was me, Lou. I was Harry Styles for the first real time.”

 “And you fucking smashed it, baby,” Louis grinned back, his hands around the small of Harry’s back now as he pressed in firmly, yanking them together as Harry stumbled, falling against Louis’ body.

~~~~~~

Harry heads home after the Met Gala to get ready for the After Party, but there's a surprise waiting for him...

We’ve Already Won

Words: 7.4k

Harry settles down at home with Clifford and Evie to support Louis on the X Factor, and waits for Louis to return home to his family. 

Bigger Ain’t Always Better!

Words: 10k

Harry buys Louis a rather naughty birthday present, and they eagerly hurry back to Harry's flat, eager to try it out. Neither of them expect what happens next....

Don’t You Remember?

Words: 7.6k

Louis nearly broke everything - himself, his relationship, everything that meant anything to him.

But Harry never gave up on him.

Part 1 of Who Do I Run To?

Remedy

Words: 9.9k

"Are you coming back? I mean, are we done? Please don’t say we’re done Lou, you’re my everything, please-“ Harry held his breath as Louis stepped closer, taking Harry’s shaking hands in his own, running his thumbs over Harry’s soft skin. Harry felt calmer immediately at Louis’ touch, and longed for more, fingers itching to touch back. Harry inhaled as Louis stepped forwards and pressed a kiss to his cheek, the familiar scent filling his nose, surrounding him with love.

"I’m so sorry.” Harry’s heart fell at that, and he could do nothing but watch as Louis walked away.

Harry has to come to terms with Louis disappearing as he heads off on his first world tour, but he’s hopeful his boy will find his way home.

Part 2 of Who Do I Run To?

Wonder How I Ever Made It Through

Words: 9.6k

Louis loved his home and his neighbourhood. It made jogging more enjoyable. But when a boy with curly hair moves into a home down the street, neither of these men realise what changes are coming their way.

Or Harry and Louis realise that all they need to be strong is love.

Moments Stay When People Leave...

Words: 13k

Louis just shrugged then, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he looked back up at Harry, pain etched into his face.

“You could’ve just talked to me, told me how you were feeling? I just… I deserved more than you gave me, Harry.”

*****

Harry gets lost in the memories of the best relationship he'd ever had, and then threw away, breaking two hearts. He makes a decision just before Christmas, and can only hope Louis feels the same...

Feels Like Christmas

Words: 49k

Harry Styles has always loved Christmas - it’s his favourite holiday, but there’s always been something missing.

Louis Tomlinson has been running from his pain, and is determined to ignore the holidays once more, choosing to spend them in solitude.

When they meet - entirely by chance - it could be just what they both need this Christmas...

Part 1 of Make My Wish Come True

Fairytale of New York

Words: 9.3k

Harry and Louis fly to New York for their holiday. Harry has a few surprises in store for an unsuspecting Louis...

Part 2 of Make My Wish Come True

You’ve Got This Spell On Me

Words: 20k

Louis has been living in Florida for 3 years now, and loves his job working at Universal Orlando Resort, particularly in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. He's on a countdown to finally head home to Doncaster, but the arrival of a curly-haired boy from Holmes Chapel throws Louis' last few weeks in the Sunshine State into complete disarray...

After All This Time

Words: 36k

"Look, I’m sorry. I just… we reckon you and Harry would be so good together. You just, I dunno, complete each other somehow? In a way that we all don’t. Sometimes, we watch the two of you and it’s like Harry and Louis against the world, like we could all disappear and you’d both be just fine as long you have each other.”

"Shit. God, I’m sorry, Li, we don’t mean to-”

"No! No, Lou, I’m not looking for an apology or whatever. I just… I wish you’d both see how good you’d be together. It’s nice, to watch you both actually, how easy things are between you. You cuddle, and touch each other, but at the same time, you can just sit in silence with each other, and it’s enough. I’d like to find that, someday, that’s all.”

Louis and Harry have been best friends since a fateful meeting on the Hogwarts Express seven years ago. With their time at Hogwarts coming to an end, their friends are determined to make them see that perhaps they've always destined to be more than just friends.

Prompted into reliving some of their most vivid moments at Hogwarts, Louis and Harry come to a startling realisation... that just maybe, after all this time, they're meant to be each others. Always.

Lost Without You

Words: 9.2k

Louis wants to see the world. Harry tells him to go. 

Wasn’t Expecting That

Words: 3.8k

It's three days before Christmas, and Harry's nervously waiting for news. Surely it can't be bad, not again.

As always, Louis' right by his side.

You Bring Me Home

Words: 12k

After forgetting to do his homework,  Louis Tomlinson was in a bind. He had to submit something but knew whatever he was going to write in the next hour was gonna be awful. By a stroke of luck, he finds a essay in the printer and submits it as his own. Little did he know it was written by his former best friend Harry Styles. After the essay wins in a competition will this push them further apart or bring them back together? 

For You Are Mine

Words: 24k

“This is the most wonderful news. Congratulations. I had fifty wonderful years with my Lily before she passed, and every day I spent by her side was a joy. I wish you and Louis the very best, Harry.”

“He hasn’t said yes yet,” Harry said, laughing as Leon rolled his eyes. “I know, I know, but I don’t want to get too ahead of myself.” “You love him? And he loves you?”

“I do, and he does.”

“Then there are no worries to be had. Be secure in your love for each other. Go, go home and propose, begin the first day of the rest of your life.”

******

As Harry embarks on making one of the biggest decisions in his life thus far, he takes Louis on a journey of memories through his love of drawing.

I Will Answer All Yiur Wishes

Words: 11k

Harry has been begging Louis to let him get a cat for a while now, but Louis' always said no because they work, and it wouldn't be fair to leave a pet all alone all day.

But when their sixth anniversary comes around, he just might have a surprise for his boyfriend...

Mama

Words: 7.9k

"This is it, you know?” Harry said after a moment, filling the silence once more. “This is what happiness feels like. Real happiness. Like, I’m so content I could just stay here with you two forever. I’m a husband, and a Mummy. This, right here, is everything I ever wanted. I love you, and I love Amelie more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

*****

Harry and Louis bring their newborn daughter home from the hospital, and experience the first twenty four hours of parenthood.

Hallelujah, You’re Home

Words: 2.1k

Harry takes his Louis to watch a final sunset on the beach together, one last time. 

I Got Me An Appetite

Words: 4.9k

In the midst of planning their wedding, Louis and Harry spend the day in the countryside hungry for some much needed time together... 

Strictly In Love

Words: 7.5k

Harry Styles is doing something he never thought he would do... taking part in another reality show, this time as a contestant in the 14th series of Strictly Come Dancing.

With a talented professional partner, a supportive boyfriend and fun songs to dance to, will the most uncoordinated member of One Direction be able to pull off the impossible and dance his way to the trophy?

[saladejin]

Admire | 04

Seokjin x Fem!Reader | arranged marriage!au, husband!Seokjin | Strangers to lovers, angst, self discovery, loneliness in luxury, touch starvation (eventual smut), eventual domestic fluff

Summary: You’d never needed anyone else. Growing up alone, living alone, existing alone. It all came naturally and effortlessly, quite like breathing. That was until your somewhat distant parents finally decided it was time to make good on a promise. One they’d made before you were even born.

Warnings: Brief mentions of semi-absent parents

Word Count: 2k

A/N:  Hey there, this is just a short chapter I decided to post as a bridge to the next part of the story-line. Hope you enjoy :)

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“I know that you’re living a different life now (Y/n), but you still can’t skip out on the annual summer road trip,” your mother’s voice chided. You held the phone away from your ear slightly to avoid bursting your own eardrums.

“But - am I just meant to go on my own and leave the house? The road trips aren’t exactly meant for…”

You trailed off with a weird strangled noise in your throat, knowing that saying ‘people like him’ would only sound bad. Seokjin looked up at the changing tone of your voice, eyeing you with an intense curiosity. There was no way he didn’t pick up that it was him you were referring to.

You had been sitting together at the dining table, feasting on an old-style Italian pasta dish you’d decided to whip up right before your mother called. It was one of the only times you two had actually eaten together since getting married, as you usually just ordered food whenever you were hungry or ate out somewhere his driver would take you.

You had just been shocked that the stoic man agreed to share what you’d made in the first place.

“He can come along, no worries. I’ve already told the guide that you’d be bringing your husband anyway, since I just assumed he’d go with you,” your mother said in a dismissive tone, seemingly distracted on the other end.

Shit, right. We’re meant to be in love.

“Okay, but it’s going to be pretty different to what we’ve been doing so far.” You sighed, thinking about all the high-class parties you’d attended in the last few months, twirling some pasta around your fork absent-mindedly. Seokjin was going to be way out of his element here.

“Then it’s settled, you leave in a couple of days. Remember the meeting spot?”

“Yes, Mum. Bye then.”

You hung up the phone and sunk back into the chair across from Seokjin, exchanging his look with one fizzling with tension. Not one of you had touched your food since you took the call.

“You going to tell me what that was about?” he hummed after eventually moving to swallow down the last of his meal with a satisfied sigh.

“Yeah, just trying to figure out how to tell you.”

He seemed a tad concerned, but didn’t push any further. You sat and brooded with your thoughts for another minute or so before running your hands slowly through your hair in exasperation. You could almost laugh at how strange this was going to be for him.

“Okay so we do this thing every year, although my parents don’t usually go, where our extended family and friends have a summer road trip out to the countryside and sometimes stop by the beach. It’s kind of like a break from the busy lives they all lead, and it’s … such a big difference from their wealthy lifestyles,” you explained, not catching any change in facial expression from the handsome man across from you.

“So … I used to tag along because like you just heard, my mother nags me to go, and the trips always turned out being not half bad. If anything, I enjoyed getting out and seeing the different ways of life the people there lived. It was a nice change of scenery too.”

You realized you were ranting and cleared your throat, pushing your half empty bowl away from you. Seokjin looked like he was pondering again, but you were already guessing the thought of a road trip probably put him off terribly.

“Look, my mother said you’d come along but no one’s going to force you. It’s just a getaway thing that lasts for a couple of weeks, I wouldn’t be gone for too long. Maybe you could attend a party or ball by yourself for once, it’d make everything much easier for you-”

“I’ll go.”

You blinked at him in shock, but he only gazed back with a spark of interest flashing in his dark eyes. The raw emotion was such a rarity for him that you had to blink again to snap out of the awed emotion that was now warming up your cheeks.

“You will?” you squeaked, hating how high your voice had pitched itself.

“Yeah, I don’t want life to get boring. I’ve never done something like this, so I’ll see how it goes,” he replied simply, a small smile resting on his lips as he took in your expression alighting with appreciation. Was he always this adventurous? Maybe deep down, there were sides to this man you had yet to discover.

“Well, we leave in a couple of days. I can tell the driver the meeting location and everything… uh, are you sure?”

“Yes, (Y/n).”

You got up from your seat and swept up your dishes, feeling an odd excitement flood your whole chest at the prospect of going on a retreat with Seokjin. Getting to spend some time with the man who was slowly but surely warming up to you was such a promising idea. Plus, lately you’d been wanting to get closer to him. Your need for pure company was becoming overwhelming.

You wanted your own husband to be the person you could turn to when you needed attention … but after giving it too much thought, you knew that there was no way he’d care enough to want to put up with that. It was borderline foolish of you.

“So, you didn’t really go on many holidays?” you probed quietly after rinsing the bowls. He’d shifted himself from the table to one of the kitchen stools to watch you work. You felt oddly comfortable under his searching gaze, even if you did look quite average in your tracksuit pants and simple white tee.

“If my father’s business trips count?” Seokjin snorted in dry humour. You could tell he was legitimately curious about the whole road trip thing, which was so baffling to you considering he’d barely tried to ask you about your life at all.

“Well, what did you do on those trips?”

You wiped your dripping hands on a dish cloth and sat across from him, only the sparkling white benchtop separating the two of you. You had been spending a fair amount time in this position during the past week or so, and it filled you with joy having these longer interactions with him whenever it happened.

“My father would take my brothers and I when we were younger to his workplaces. Teaching us his ways and getting us prepared for when we would take on jobs at the firm. My mother did her own thing, but would only talk to us about what we’d done that day. Maybe there was the occasional shopping trip for new clothes, but both parents were busy most of the time,” he said rather sourly.

Seokjin was obviously tired of having to spend so much of his life pleasing his own mother and father. You couldn’t have imagined how repetitive it all must have been, then again you didn’t really know what it was like spending time with your own parents in the first place.

“Can you tell me what you used to do, then?” he asked suddenly. You raised your eyebrows in disbelief, because he was asking about you, but then you felt bad for painting him in such a bad light. He wasn’t a terrible person; he just hadn’t engaged this much before. That’s why you were taken so off guard when he looked at you straight in the eyes and asked you the question so calmly.

“Um, yeah of course.” You smiled as the feeling of warmth enveloped your very soul, “So… since I never went on business travels with my parents, the only form of a holiday I ever experienced were these trips. They helped me relax and took my mind away from everything.”

You breathed out deeply at the memory of the countryside breeze, and the feeling of the piping hot beach sand crunching underneath your toes. You could only imagine the feeling of the sun’s rays kissing your skin as Seokjin watched in a mildly fascinated state.

“We’d travel as a large group in separate motorhomes – by the way we’ll most likely get one to ourselves – and stop in many small towns along the way. We’d go on walks and find lovely spots to eat lunch, and we’d visit special lookouts along with other cool cultural sites. The best thing was when you got the day to just venture through the place on your own, doing whatever you wanted and exploring the country.”

You unclasped your hands and let your voice die in your throat, not wanting to subject the man to more of your wistful reminiscing. He was hearing all about memories you held close to your heart, because throughout your school years the travelling was what’d kept your mind relaxed and stress-free.

“Sounds like it’ll be interesting for me. You said we’ll be given a motorhome, so we’re the ones driving?” he questioned quietly, almost as if he didn’t expect you to cut yourself off so soon.

“Yeah, I grew up with that brand of vehicle so I can do most of the driving. I’ve got my license,” you assured, barely stifling a giggle as you recalled memories of learning how to drive a motorhome for the first time.

“We can take turns,” he replied shortly, raising a strong eyebrow at you as if daring you to challenge him. You nodded in a slight daze of shock.

So you can drive too, huh.

You never would have guessed, after knowing that the handsome man had been chauffeured around basically his whole life. What need would he even have for a driver’s license?

“Well, I’m going to bed. I’ll start packing for this trip, just let me know if I need anything else,” Seokjin announced with a grunt as he slid off the chair and made his way around the bench to stand before you. He was dressed pretty casually as well, with a light blue button-up shirt hanging over grey trousers, but he still looked so unfairly tasteful.

“The only thing I’ll really say is just bring casual, but comfortable clothes. Oh, and a hat or cap if you have one,” you said, feeling giddy with anticipation for the holiday already. He nodded to acknowledge the advice, resting his weight onto one foot and pursing his thick lips as he thought about if he did, in fact, own a hat.

“Goodnight then,” you spoke after feeling something strange wash over you. This random urge to show him how elated you truly were. Your steps were bouncy and full of life, similar to the fitful pounding of your heart that felt full to the brim.

You stepped forward and placed your hands upon his crossed arms, then stood on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to his smooth cheek. He didn’t jerk away or tell you off, just stood rigidly still for a few seconds before leaving the room to head to bed. It was only after he was gone that it finally hit you.

No way… did I just do that? Did I actually just freaking do that?

Your face erupted into a fiery crimson blush and you almost slammed your head down into the benchtop below you. All the couple-like actions you both performed at the parties must have made themselves a habit of yours, and since you’d been feeling so happy the desire to kiss him just leapt out.

“Idiot, oh my God,” you whimpered to yourself, busying your hands by cleaning the rest of the kitchen in a hurry. The fact that he hadn’t said a single thing scared you. Did he hate it? Or did he like it, or did he just not care? There was no way of knowing!

You scurried off to your room and heard the door shut behind you a little louder than normal. Your embarrassment was flowing thickly through your veins at this point. You just needed to bury your head under the covers and forget that the whole thing happened.

It wouldn’t take long for him to forget, right?

Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.

[harryspet]

A Wife’s Duty [1] h.s.

[Warning] this is inspired by the handmaid’s tale (i know thats f’d up but this is fiction deal with it), dubcon (borderline noncon), commander x wife, harry styles x named reader, sexy stuff

In which she is bound to harry for life and tasked with the honor of being the wife of a commander and bearing his children.

Like, reblog and let me know what you think!

She didn’t see her husband’s face until the day of their wedding and, even then, it wasn’t a special ceremony of love and devotion. 

She was standing in a line of girls, twelve on either side of her, and they were all to be wed together. All of them were lucky. They were young, beautiful and fertile which meant they could be saved from the fate of becoming Handmaiden’s. However, they were still married off and expected to bear many children for their commander husbands. 

Loyal and subservient. Quiet and modest. At least, that's the way they interpreted God’s scripture. 

As her new husband lifted her veil, she felt as if she may vomit. She had heard stories, horrible stories, of commander’s abusing their wives. She even heard one girl was beaten to death after suffering from a miscarriage. The commander was reprimanded, of course, but the chance of her husband being a cruel man was frightening. 

He wasn’t what she expected. Her lips pressed into a small, nervous smile as she looked him over. His green eyes were piercing, maybe due to the blinding lights of the large stadium they were in, and his lips soft looking and pink. He was young, much older than her, but younger than she expected. 

She looked down quickly, feeling his gaze pierce into her. He dressed in a black, like the rest of the commanders, but it seemed he had a lot of awards and honors decorating his chest. It seemed he was accomplished, to say the least, but, as her eyes roamed a bit lower, she noticed the tattoos on his hands. 

She had always been taught that marking your body in that way was sinful yet here he stood, small tattoos decorating his hands, and yet he was a high ranking commander. 

The priest went on and it was only then that she realized she had tuned out the readings. “God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them, saying: "Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth." She only looked up again when her husband reached out to slide a ring onto her finger. It was relatively simple but the diamond perched in the middle screamed wealthy.

She thought for a moment that she was lucky but that faded quickly. 

His hands were rough and calloused and he coughed awkwardly when his hands lingered a little too long on hers. 

“For commanders and wives ., who begin their married life together this day. May they experience the love of God, the support of family and friends, and the blessings of children. We pray to the Lord.”

“Amen,” All the couples said in unison and it was first she heard his first. It was deep and certain. Like he knew this was inevitable just like she had. Like he had no choice but accepting things made it easier than fighting. And then it was done and her life was in his hands. The extent of her freedom would start and end with him.

They interlaced their arms, clapping roared through the stadium, and then she was being escorted away. A lot of the girls waved to their families, tears of joy dripping from their eyes. Their lives finally had a purpose. Her real family was gone, she was ripped away from them because they were poor and couldn’t afford to fight the government. 

He was her family. And she didn’t even know his name. 

+

He sat across from her in the black car they rode in. His hands sat awkwardly in his lap, as if he normally didn’t like being chauffeured around, and wished he was in control of the car. She nervously played with the folds of her white dress as she waited for him to say something - anything. 

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by a ringing phone. He eyed her carefully as he reached into his black jacket to take the call. A phone? To have one he must be very important. 

“Commander Styles,” He answered, his voice gruff, “I’ll be in Redwick-” he checked his watch, “in an hour. But I won’t be able to meet with you tonight.”

Tonight. She swallowed. He probably wanted to consummate their marriage. Of course, he did. That was the whole point of this and she’d be stupid to think otherwise. 

“I can meet with you sometime tomorrow. I’m eager to discuss those plans as well. I wasn’t expecting so much disagreement on the issue. If you give Thomas a call, he can fit you into my schedule….Yes, of course . . . May the lord be with you. Goodnight,” He sighed deeply as he hung up and then caught me staring. 

“Commander Styles?” She asked timidly. At the sound of her voice, his lips seemed to push into a thin line of frustration. She worried for a moment that she had already broken a rule. 

“Harry, my name is Harry, Ember.”

She stared, blinking, “Y-You know my name?”

“I dislike surprises,” He answered simply, only leaving it to my imagination to decide what exactly he meant by that. He leaned back, letting one of his hands rest behind the headrest of the other seat, as he stared out the window. 

Redwick was a decently far from the capital, that much she knew, and part of her was worried. She had never left the capital before and was warned that there were large lands of waste between cities, where captured rebels were forced into labor camps. She got the courage to look out the window about thirty minutes into the drive and, although she saw no rebels, she saw wasteland. It was like a red desert where the grass no longer grew and the rusting building seemed to fall into the dust. 

Something about it felt peaceful and she felt a bit sick for thinking that way. She looked back down at her lap for the rest of the drive. 

When they finally entered the city of Redwick, she was itching to get out of the suffocating car. Harry seemed to suck up all of the air with his commanding presence. It was a suburban town, a contrast to the Capital, and each of the houses they passed had at least a hundred acres to their own. Harry’s home was no different, the road leading to his estate was a three minute drive on it’s own. It was a spectacular home but she was surprised how quaint it was. It was ivory and foliage crawled up all sides of it which she thought gave it an interesting character. 

She stared as he opened the door for her and offered her a hand so she crawled out without tripping over her dress. His focus wasn’t on her long before he met the driver on the other side of the car, and she assumed he handed him his payment. 

“Shall we?” He finally asked, holding a hand out for me to step forward. 

She looked around one more time at the rolling grass hills, “There’s so much . . . space,” She commented, stepping towards the front door, “It’s beautiful here, Commander Styles.”

He opened the black door, “A family heirloom,” He said curtly.

A small gasp left her lips as she admired the giant chandelier that hung in the foyer, “It’s lovely, Harry.”

“You haven’t even seen the rest of the house, Ember,” He spoke, closing the door and wrapping his hands behind his back. He began showing her around, letting her ooh and awe at everything she thought was cool. She really hasn’t gotten out much, he thought, watching her hold an elephant figurine sitting on the fireplace. 

“You grew up here?” She asked and he only nodded. He didn’t seem to want to discuss it further. 

Okay, she thought, it didn’t seem like he was one for small talk.

Then another call interrupted them. He quickly told her to go into the kitchen so Imogene could make her some dinner.

+

After eating dinner, she didn’t think she’d see Commander Styles for the rest of the night. It was already approaching midnight, Imogene had shown her to a room and gave her clothes to sleep in. She was laying in bed, a white long sleeved nightgown covering her body, not able to sleep. 

She listened to the sound of cicadas outside of her window and closed her eyes every few minutes, trying to find sleep. 

Her door slowly opened and she perked up, sitting up on her elbows. Harry appeared, not meeting her eyes immediately, “Were you sleeping?” He asked in a quiet and cold voice. He leaned over to turn on the lamp light on the bedside table. 

She shook her head immediately and he took a breath before asking, “Are you a virgin?”

“Of course,” she said, as if she was offended as the implication that she might not be, “Of course, Harry. I assure you that I-”

He interrupted before she could ramble, “Lay back down,” He ordered her and her heart stopped. She was trying to read the emotion in his eyes but couldn’t. Her heart pounded. 

She did as he said, unsure of where to put her hands or where exactly to look. She kept her hands to her side and stared up at the ceiling. From the corner of her eyes, she could tell he was undressing. 

Harry rounded the bed to the other side before climbing into the large bed. “You look like a corpse,” He commented. He moved to her side and she noticed he was now only wearing a pair of briefs. His tattoos were on display, a butterfly decorating his chest.

“I-I’m sorry,” She spoke, her bottom lip shaking, confronting her fear and finally looking him in the eyes. He snorted at that. 

“Relax,” He told her, “You want to please your husband, don’t you?”

She nodded before he continued, “Then relax, Ember,” He leaned in to kiss her and she was frozen for a moment, his stubble scratching her skin. He moved from her lips to the side of her chin and down to her neck. That’s when a yelp escaped her mouth as he kissed the sensitive parts of her neck. She didn’t know that area was even touched during sex. 

“God first and then me, do you understand?”

She nodded, whimpering, as the kisses traced her collarbones. His tattooed hand traced the length of her silk gown until it reached between her legs. She felt his fingers slip between the fabric of her panties. His finger touched the small bulb between her lips and a jolt went through her.

“Harry-” He shushed her. He stopped with his kisses and started to use his own legs to spread hers. She felt open, completely exposed. Her eyes were wide. It was nothing like what she had expected. He rubbed her there, in fast and then slow circles and she moaned into his mouth. 

She kissed him back now, though she wasn’t sure what she was doing, she fell into his rhythm. As his lips left hers, he moved in between her legs, fully spreading her and she expected for the pain to begin but Harry’s lips traveled further. He lifted her gown, kissing between her breast and then her naval until he got much lower. 

As his own mouth pressed against her sex, she yelped, pushing herself away from him until her back hit the headboard, “Harry, I don’t think-” He gave her a frustrated look, “You shouldn’t, I-I mean, we shouldn’t do that. That’s not the way-”

He rested on his knees, grabbing her waist and lifting her until her head fell roughly back where it was. “I will show you the way, little one. You don’t get to decide what I should and shouldn’t do, understand?”

She nodded eagerly, fear in her eyes, and she answered, “Y-Yes.”

“Yes, Commander,” He corrected and then she repeated the words back to him. He smirked, he liked when she called him Commander. 

Ember gripped the sheets so tightly that she thought she might rip them. With only thirty seconds of his mouth on her sex, her first orgasm was ripping through her body. He hadn’t even planned to keep going but, knowing she was so sensitive, he couldn’t help but try to get another one out of her. And then another. “Please, Harry- Commander, please! I can’t-” She was begging, her body shaking, as she tried to escape him. 

Perhaps he was being greedy. He relented after the third one, kissing up her body again and he didn’t give her much time to rest before he began to sheathe himself inside of her. She gripped his back, surely leaving scratch marks as he carefully entered her. 

“Say you want my children, Ember.” 

“I-I want your children, Commander.”

“Say you’re mine.”

She looked into his eyes, into the unknown, and knew things would never be the same again. She belonged to him now and only death could change that, 

“I’m yours, Commander.”

And his head tilted back in ecstasy.

+

part two of A Wife’s Duty is posted! check out my #masterlist for more of my works

[maria-scribbles]

glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part three

summary: while mother nature isn’t very kind to the obx, jj’s dad is even worse to him. sailor sees the aftermath, relives a day that changed her life forever, and realizes she’d be down with murder if she could get away with it. between nutella sandwiches, story time, and a shared bed, an unspoken thing slowly starts to become a little more real.

word count: 6.9k+ (oops 😅)

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn)

warnings: abuse/neglect, blood, mentions of parental abandonment/gambling addiction, swearing, whump, hurt/comfort, fluff, blatant references to hocus pocus, the little mermaid, percy jackson and the olympians, and mean girls (and a teeny, subtle reference to stranger things, see if y’all can catch it! 😉)

a/n: i was so excited to write this part, not gonna lie (if you couldn’t tell, just look at that word count). hurt/comfort is my shittt and i’m a pretty big slut for physical comfort/touches so i kinda went ham with it lol. i’m also very happy to finally introduce everyone to peyton, who’s a character i really love and enjoy writing, especially her relationship with her gf alison. both of them will get some time to shine in this part, peyton in the present and alison in the past! as usual, this is unbetaed so all mistakes belong to me. enjoy!

gif credit to @sci-fi​

~Masterlist~

part one | part two | part four | playlist 

part three: storm surge

It rains the entire week. Scratch that -it storms: the whole island buffeted by howling winds and blanketed by a thick layer of dark and angry clouds that make life just shy of miserable. For someone who spends 99% of her time outside like Sailor, miserable doesn’t begin to cover it. And to think, it’s only the beginning of hurricane season.

The redhead props her chin in one tan hand as she leans against the cool marble counter of The Butterscotch Bonnet Ice Cream Parlor, watching the rain pound against the shop’s bay windows. Across the street she can just make out the rough, gray surf of the Atlantic through a tiny gap in between two buildings and she sighs wistfully, thinking about all the beautiful shells getting tossed onto the beach by the waves. She’s half tempted to just throw off her apron, hop the counter, and make a break for the sand, storm be damned.

She’s almost positive she wouldn’t even be missed. There isn’t a customer in sight and there hasn’t been one since she started her shift three hours ago. Peyton was still in the back kitchen, messing around with whatever convoluted ice cream flavor she thought up for this week; her boss definitely has a knack for concocting weird combinations that somehow work together, at least most of the time. Sailor thinks back to a few weeks ago when they debuted that delicious blackberry balsamic that sold out every day without fail, then followed it with a cilantro lime that was hit-or-miss (a definite miss in her opinion, as cilantro just tastes like soap to her; Peyton had just smiled her infectious smile, shrugged her tiny shoulders, and said, “Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.”) This week’s flavor involves mascarpone and peaches and she can’t wait to steal a sample because if the wonderful smell coming from the kitchen is any indication, it’s gonna be bomb, even though it probably won’t upset the shop’s namesake flavor from the top of her list.

Thinking about ice cream makes her kind of hungry, on top of the fact that she has a terrible habit of eating when she’s bored, so she dishes out a small scoop of Butterscotch Bonnet and grabs a spoon before leaning back against the counter, digging through the cup to find the best part: salted caramel-filled chocolate sea shells, made in house. The days Sailor gets to help make them are her favorite days to come to work, when she and Peyton commandeer the kitchen and have the time of their lives, blasting music and dancing as they slave away. Of course, the little bag of chocolates she gets to take home is a pretty big plus, too.

“That’s coming out of your paycheck, Sail.”

Spoon halfway to her mouth, she sheepishly glances up from her snack as Peyton emerges from the kitchen, fondly shaking her head and sending her inky black braids dancing across her shoulders.

“What am I gonna do with you?” She continues with a wink before starting to make herself a milkshake, dropping two scoops of their tiramisu flavor into a malt cup.

“Sorry, you know I can’t help myself!” Sailor knows the other girl was joking but she apologizes anyway and opens the cabinet to grab a cup and straw for her, setting them on the counter beside the old-fashioned milkshake machine. As far as bosses go, Peyton is one of the all-around best to have and the redhead loves working at her shop. While the Buckleys are rich as shit and total kooks, the family’s youngest daughter is down to earth, kind, and prefers to work hard for what she wants instead of flaunting her parents’ wealth and The Butterscotch Bonnet is proof that, despite her last name and penchant for the finer things, she’s a pogue at heart. It’s no wonder Alison’s head over heels for her.

“I also know you’re bored as shit.” Peyton calls over the sound of the blender, sending a knowing smirk toward the younger girl, who rolls her eyes and shovels another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth as she replies, “Obviously. This weather fucking sucks.”

A loud clap of thunder seems to shake the very glass in the windows and she gestures toward the storm outside, her point proven. Peyton glances around the deserted shop, still bright and cheery despite its lack of movement and life, then back to the relentless downpour, before shrugging and turning back to finish blending her milkshake. “Wanna go home early?”

“Seriously?”

“Why not? You’ve already cleaned this whole place from top to bottom and I don’t think we’re gonna be getting customers any time soon.” Ignoring the paper cup, she plops the straw straight into her drink and takes a big sip, then nods in satisfaction before adding a huge swirl of whipped cream on top.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best?” Sailor asks, smiling excitedly as she grabs her bag from under the counter and tosses her empty cup into the trash.

“Only every day,” the older girl replies cheekily, smiling as she’s pulled into a one-armed hug of thanks by her employee.

“Well, you’re gonna hear it again: you’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peyton pats the redhead’s shoulder with one deep brown hand and then gently pushes her toward the kitchen. “Now get out of here, brat. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Sailor throws a peace sign over her shoulder as she heads out the door, cackling at her boss’s offended call of “don’t call me ma’am!” After clocking out, she fishes her keys out of her bag and dashes through the downpour to her beat-up clunker of a truck. A hand-me-down from Alison, Flounder’s nothing to look at with all the dents and chips in his blue paint, but he gets her where she needs to go and has room for surfboards in the back and two other pogues up front on the bench seat -and the other two unlucky ones riding in the bed, hiding under the boards- so she’s not complaining, even though she wishes his radio worked more than half the time.

(Two reasons why John B’s almost always the group chauffeur: the fact that he can legally drive all five of them around without breaking the law -not that they’ve ever gotten caught in Sailor’s truck but anyone with a brain knows that where one pogue goes, the other four aren’t far behind- and good music flowing from a perfectly working stereo.)

Unfortunately, it’s on the fritz today so her drive home is spent listening to the sounds of Flounder’s windshield wipers and the pounding of rain against his roof. She heads inland from the beach, away from Peyton’s shop in the outskirts of affluent Figure 8 and its kook mansions to the more homey, laid-back Cut, passing by the turnoff to the Chateau and through the woods before pulling into the empty driveway of her tiny house. The fact that her mother’s car is no where to be found doesn’t surprise her in the slightest. Waiting for her on the porch is Binx, the stray black cat she’s taken to feeding and more or less adopted, stretching on the blanket she left out for him.

“Hey, handsome,” The redhead says, kneeling down to give him a loving scratch behind the ears; he meows in response and rubs his fuzzy face against her ankles, weaving between her legs as she slides her key into the lock. “Come on in.”

The front door closes behind them with a hollow bang that echoes through the empty house like the thunder outside. Sailor hangs up her keys and follows Binx down the hall toward her room, ignoring the closed door that leads to her mom’s room and a bed that she assumes hasn’t been slept in in months. Not that she would know: she’s made it a habit to spend as few nights as possible alone in the house, instead crashing at the Chateau or Kiara’s place and hoping her mom’s comfortable in her makeshift room at The Sandbar where Carmen doesn’t have to deal with the teenager she’s supposed to be caring for (Sailor’s always been an independent girl and has no trouble getting by alone but fuck, that doesn’t mean she wants to.).

Her father’s green eyes, the same color as her own, stare back at her from a picture hanging on the wall of a better time, when everything was alright and her family wasn’t so broken; the three of them on the beach with a twelve year old Sailor in the middle and surfboards in hand. Carmen looks like the mother she remembers and misses so bad it hurts, and while Ryan wasn’t always the most caring of fathers and only acted like a dad when it was convenient, she’d still do anything to have him back, terrible parenting skills and all. She turns away from the picture and the complicated mess her heart becomes when she thinks about him, continuing down the hall to her room.

Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover her feelings about her dad, though. She’s always believed she was an afterthought to him, never first on his list but still good enough to tag along for company when he was doing something he wanted to do. He was a man who liked the idea of having a kid but never wanted to actually step up and parent when things weren’t all fun and games, instead deciding to take off to Atlantic City for a month or two at a time to gamble away whatever money they earned at the surf shop.

She wants to hate him. She should loathe him and in a way, she does. She hates the way he still makes her feel like everything’s her fault, even when he’s not around. She hates the person her mother becomes when he disappears, someone distant and cold and so unlike the good, caring mother Sailor remembers. She hates that home doesn’t feel like home anymore and it’s all his fault, and she hates that despite everything he’s put her through, all the hurt he’s caused, she still can’t find it in her big, bleeding heart to truly detest her father. After all, he could’ve been worse. So, so much worse.

The only place she can get away from everything is her room, her own little sanctuary from the cold emptiness of the rest of the house and constant reminders of Ryan’s absence. It’s warm and bright, the walls painted a sunny yellow that reminds her of lazy days relaxing on the beach. Her first surfboard hangs on the wall above her bed, tucked away in a corner, doubling as a shelf for her massive shell collection while pictures of her and her friends dangle underneath, pinned to a long piece of twine. Her current boards stand propped in another corner, leaning against a wall plastered with all types of movie and music posters. Through the windows covered with curtains as light as sea foam, the rain steadily pours but in here, she’s safe. In here, she can breathe.

Sailor strips off her uniform, tossing it along with her bag onto the chair by the door and slips out of her worn red high-tops before pulling on a pair of sleep shorts and the first long-sleeve shirt her fingers find in the closet, then flops onto her bed and pulls the soft blue blanket around her shoulders, reading glasses and well-loved copy of The Lightning Thief in hand while Binx curls up at her feet. Every summer without fail she rereads the series (why, she’s not exactly sure: maybe its nostalgia, maybe its because she lowkey relates to water-loving, steadfastly loyal Percy) and she’s fallen behind this year, so she fully intends on reading as much as she can tonight before bed. The storm provides perfect background noise and soon she’s five chapters in before a sudden loud knock on her window causes her head to snap up in alarm.

Oh no. Without bothering to save her place, she tosses the book and her glasses aside and scrambles from the bed to the window, tearing open the curtains to reveal a sight she always dreads seeing. Her best friend stands outside in the rain, soaked to the bone, hand pressed against his side, and the sight of bright red blood trailing down his face and staining the collar of his gray shirt makes her heart drop to her stomach. Wordlessly, she opens the window and helps him climb inside before closing it firmly and drawing the curtains, once again blocking the world from her -now their- sanctuary, then grabs her blanket from the bed and wraps it tightly around JJ’s shaking shoulders after he kicks off his sodden boots.

Her hand slowly moves to cup his face and her heart breaks a little more when he tenses, blue eyes carefully tracking its movement until he seems to remember who it belongs to and lets himself lean into her touch, cheek resting against her palm. Sailor runs her thumb under his split lip and and wipes at the crimson staining his tan skin, her mouth curving into a small frown when she only succeeds in smearing it further.

“Come on,” She breaks the silence with her gentle voice, barely above a whisper, and reaches her other hand out to take his, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

His fingers hold so, so tight as she leads him down the hall to the bathroom and she’s so laser-focused on the way they tremble against hers that she doesn’t notice the blood left behind on the handle when she opens the door. After flicking on the light she turns to face him and gently pushes the blanket from his shoulders with her free hand, letting it fall to the floor in a damp heap, then blindly reaches behind her to turn on the shower, cranking the heat as high as it’ll go.

“Sorry about your blanket.” JJ says at last, his voice quiet, and Sailor shakes her head, running her thumb in circles on the back of his cold hand.

“I don’t care about that, J.” She replies just as quiet and before she can stop herself, before she can think about what exactly she’s about to admit, she adds, “I care about you.”

The corner of his mouth lifts in a barely-there smile and while it may be tiny, it’s a smile nonetheless and she feels the tight knot in her chest begin to loosen as she lets go of his hand, reaching for the hem of his shirt. “Can you lift your arms for me?”

He does as she asks but his pained wince doesn’t go unnoticed by the redhead when she pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it on top of the discarded blanket, and her jaw clenches at the sight of deep purple bruises in the shape of his father’s fists marring the skin over his ribs.

“Let me know if this hurts.” Oh so carefully she reaches out with one hand and gently touches the darkest mark, where she’d seen him clutching at outside her window, her fingers delicately feeling for any damages.

“A little.” He admits, shaky breath warm against her forehead and she does her best to keep her hand steady as she checks over the rest of him, then feathers her fingers back over that first bruise.

“It doesn’t feel like anything’s broken or cracked, so that’s good.” She says, allowing her hand to linger for a second before letting it fall from his side. “A rib or two might be a little bruised, though, so we’ll put some ice on them later, just in case. Sound good?”

JJ nods and watches her with those ocean blue eyes as she pulls her own shirt over her head, leaving her in a plain black cami and shorts, before grabbing his hand once again and pulling him into the shower with her. The water’s just a tad too hot and it instantly starts turning her skin red but Sailor doesn’t mind, instead choosing to embrace the heat and the way it burns everything away, leaving behind brand new skin that’s ready for a new day, new adventures. She reaches up and gingerly wipes the blood from her best friend’s face; in a mirror of earlier, he leans his cheek into her palm, eyes slowly closing while both arms wrap around her waist and pull her close.

“Sail,” He whispers her nickname into the humid air between them and she barely registers the tremble in his voice before his knees buckle, sinking them both to the shower floor until they’re face to face, sitting in between each other’s legs. He clings to her, arms even tighter around her waist and face buried against her neck, and she feels the shake of his shoulders when she winds her own arms around them. One hand moves to steadily run through wet blond hair, over and over, comforting in the best way she knows how, the fingers of her other hand tracing circles on the bare skin of his back as water continues to rain down on them like the downpour outside.

She’s eerily reminded of another time they sat like this, sobbing in each other’s arms five years ago, the first time she saw just how cruel his father could be, the first time she realized she’d do absolutely everything and anything to keep him safe, and it was both one of the best and worst days of her life.

Eleven year old Sailor shoved her math textbook into her cluttered locker and kicked it shut with a scowl. She hated math, her math teacher, and especially whoever made her schedule- who in their right mind would put math in eighth-period? She swung her backpack onto her shoulder and grunted softly at the extra weight it carried. JJ hadn’t come to school that day and Sailor had volunteered to take his missed work to him; it made sense, considering she lived closest out of the pogues and it’d make her feel better if she got to check on him herself -there was a reason the rest of the group called her the mom friend, after all.

She’d already collected assignments from the classes he shared with Pope and Kiara as well as herself, so now she was just waiting for John B to drop off his own. As if summoned by her thoughts, the brunet boy rounded the corner and waved, weaving his way to her through their fellow middle-schoolers. “Sorry, you know how Mr. Jefferson likes to go on and on and on...” He said, pulling some papers from his backpack and handing them to the redhead. “Do you remember where J’s house is?”

Sailor rolled her eyes and carefully slid the homework into her own bag. “Considering I live, like, five streets away, I sure hope so.” She fired back, ignoring his cackle of laughter as they joined the rush of students, excited for the weekend, flooding out through the double doors of Kildare County Middle School. She lingered by her friend as he unlocked his bike from the rack and then climbed on, asking, “You’re helping out at the shop on Saturday, right?”

She nodded, scanning the sea of waiting cars and waving when she spotted her ride. “Yeah, why?”

“My dad and I are gonna hang out at the beach that day so we’ll stop by and say hi.” With a casual salute in her direction he slowly started pedaling down the road, calling back over his shoulder, “Tell JJ he can come too if he’s feeling better!”

“Tell him yourself!” She yelled after his retreating back, not surprised in the slightest when he didn’t turn around and disappeared into the trees. Alison’s beat up blue truck pulled up to the curb seconds later and the older redhead leaned out the open window, a shit-eating grin on her face as she joked, “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”

Sailor laughed and climbed into the passenger seat, dropping her backpack on the floor with a loud thump. Alison winced at the sound, raising her eyebrow as she waited for the younger girl to put her seatbelt on. “What the hell do you have in there, rocks?”

“One of my friends missed school today so I have his homework. Do you mind driving by so I can drop it off? He only lives a few streets away.”

“Sure,” Alison replied, flicking on her turn signal and merging into the stream of cars leaving the school’s parking lot. “So who skipped: Smarty Pants, Bandana Boy, or Surfer Bro?”

The eleven year old giggled at the nicknames -she’d never admit it, but they were honestly pretty accurate- and replied, “Surfer Bro. And his name is JJ, Ali.”

“Rightttt, JJ. What do you think it stands for, huh? Jesse James? John Jacob?”

“Oh my Godddddd!”

The high school senior continued to come up with names, each more ridiculous than the last until Sailor exclaimed “There!” and directed her to park near a small, run-down house on a quiet road. She pulled a folder from her backpack and was out the door before the older girl could blink, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back!”

The redhead slammed the truck door behind her and made her way toward the porch and what she assumed was the front door; she’d never been inside JJ’s house but he always came out to meet them through there so she figured it was a safe bet. The smile fell from her face, ears registering the sound of horrible, angry yelling just as she brought her fist down to knock and she anxiously fidgeted back and forth on the step, her heart starting to beat fast in her chest. What the hell was going on?

"Fucking hell!” An enraged shout came clear as day from inside and as she heard the person’s stomping approach, something in her, a feeling, urged her to hide the folder in her hand behind her back. She jumped in surprise when the door was suddenly ripped open, revealing a fuming, red-faced man who glared down at her with heavily lidded eyes and one hand clenched in a fist at his side, the other holding the threshold in a white-knuckled grip. “What the hell do you want?”

“H-hi, I’m Sailor, one of JJ’s friends? He wasn’t at school today so I came by to check on him.” She said, proud of herself for keeping most of the tremble out of her voice while she studiously avoided his cruel gaze, instead subtly trying to peer behind him and hopefully catch a glimpse of her friend. The man, who she realized with sheer horror had to be JJ’s dad, was absolutely terrifying, with breath reeking of booze and mouth curled into a vicious snarl as he moved to block her view into the house and snapped, “Kid’s fine. Now get the fuck outta here.”

“Can I just see-”

She was cut off when he slammed the door in her face with the hand that had been by his side and her eyes widened, stomach sinking with dread as she caught sight of the splotch of bright crimson left behind on the wood. Oh, God. This could not be happening. She remembered John B’s warning about JJ’s dad, saying he wasn’t a very nice man when she became friends with them last year but she didn’t recall him ever saying anything about this and it hits her like a freight train: he probably didn’t know. Her heart pounded against her ribcage. If JB didn’t know then Pope and Kiara definitely didn’t and a sickening feeling started to churn her belly, both at the thought of JJ facing all of this by himself and the fact that she alone had the power to help.

Inside the house, she heard his dad resume his screaming, every other word accompanied by a sickening thumping noise she’d only heard in person once before, a few years ago on the beach with her parents when two drunk tourons started wailing on each other over a spilled beer: the sound of a fist hitting flesh. Sailor started to panic, both hands flying to cover her mouth in terror. Underneath the screaming and punching, she couldn’t hear anything, any cry or yelp or whimper from her friend and, mind racing with million terrible, awful thoughts, she turned and ran back to the truck, flinging open the door and scrambling inside to grab Alison’s arm, folder in her hands falling to the floor.

“Ali, please, we’ve got to help him-”

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” The older girl joked as she looked up from her phone, smile falling from her lips when she caught sight of the eleven year old’s pale face and wide eyes. She reached over and placed her hands on Sailor’s slight, trembling shoulders. “What’s going on?”

Her lip quivered terribly as she told Alison everything she saw and heard, watching her expression slowly twist into outright dismay, the fingers on her shoulders tightening their grip when she finished, “Ali, what’re we gonna do? We have to help him right now!”

“Fuck, okay, first off let’s calm down- don’t give me that look, kid! We can’t just burst in there like Wonder Woman or something, let me- oh, look!” Alison pointed through windshield, where JJ’s dad furiously stalked from the house to his truck, climbing inside and violently slamming the door before taking off in a cloud of dust. Sailor quickly ducked when he drove by and stayed down until the older redhead gave her the all clear, “He’s gone. That was perfect timing, huh?”

She didn’t reply or even wait for her to unbuckle her seatbelt, taking off at a sprint and bounding onto the porch in no time, furiously knocking against the door. “Hey, J, are you there? It’s Sailor.”

There was no reply and her heart dropped to her stomach. Alison joined her on the front step, her face blanching when her eyes landed on the blood stain on the corner of the door. One of her hands reached out to grab the handle while the other found Sailor’s smaller one and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Come on,” With no hesitation and the bravery Sailor wished she had, the eighteen year old pushed the door open and pulled them both into the dusky house. The younger redhead wrinkled her nose at the sight of beer cans and pill bottles littering a circle around the couch but she pressed on, calling his name as the girls moved room to room.

“Sail?” The sound of JJ’s pained voice coming from the room at the end of the hall made her heart skip a beat and she dropped Alison’s hand, running forward and bursting through the door in a rush, not even thinking about what state her friend might’ve been in. Feeling like she’d just been sucker punched right in the gut at the sight of him lying face down on the floor with a small puddle of blood forming under his mouth, she dropped to her knees beside him and delicately took his hand in both of hers, nearly crying in relief when his fingers gripped tight to her palm. Behind her, she heard Alison’s sharp intake of breath as she entered the room, darting over to kneel on JJ’s other side and place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and together they carefully helped him roll onto his back, then up into a sitting position with the older girl’s arm behind him as a brace.

Her jaw trembled as she tried and tried to say something, anything; her head was filled with so many questions -what happened, how could he do this, when did this start?- but the only thing she managed to ask was a simple, “Why?”

“It’s just what he does.” He replied with a shrug, wincing at the movement, “I’m sorry, Sail.”

“What the hell are you apologizing for?” She asked incredulously, then followed his finger as he pointed at a pile of jagged yellowish-brown pieces on the floor by his bed.

“He broke the shell you gave me.” He looked so upset, so distraught over the broken whelk and she felt her heart swell with waves of affection for her friend, who was more concerned about her broken gift than he was about himself.

“Hey,” She said softly, turning away from the mess to look him in the eye with a small smile, her hand reaching out on its own accord to brush a lock of fine blond hair away from a cut near his temple. “It’s just a shell, okay? I’ll find you another one.”

The sight of blood on his teeth when he returned her smile reminded her of the task at hand and she shook her head, wrapping her thin arm around his waist. “Let’s get you out of here. Think you can stand?” At his nod, both girls put one of his arms around their shoulders and slowly stood, shuffling out the door with all the grace and speed of an old man with two bad knees, but hey, they were moving and getting JJ out of that terrible place, so she’d go as slow as they needed to, even if her anxiety was getting worse and worse with each passing second they spent in the house.

After loading the kids onto the bench seat of the truck, Alison quickly drove them to the empty Flynn residence -Carmen and Ryan still working at the shop- and helped Sailor move JJ into the bathroom. “I’ll go grab you some towels and dry clothes, okay? I think some of your dad’s old stuff might fit him.” She said, watching as the young girl kneeled beside her friend and started untying his shoes.

The eleven year old nodded at her older friend and sent her a small smile. “Thanks, Ali.”

“No problem, kiddos.” With a quick smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes she was gone, heading down the hall toward the laundry room.

Sailor reached over and turned the shower on as hot as possible. “Okay, um, take as long as you need, I guess. I’ll wait outside.” She jerked her thumb toward the hall but before she could even take a step, his hand darted out and grabbed her wrist.

“Stay.” It was more of a demand than a question and JJ seemed embarrassed to even be saying it, the uninjured parts of his face turning an endearing shade of pink. “Please?”

She just nodded and reached a leg out to gently kick the door shut, her mind racing. She stayed but what the hell should she do now, keep her back turned? Get in the shower with him? From the way he was fidgeting back and forth and avoiding her eyes, he was probably thinking the same thing.

“Oh, come on.” She finally said after a minute or two of decidedly not looking at each other and kicked off her sandals, darting forward on impulse to grab his hand and pull them both under the spray. The water uncomfortably soaked into their clothes and made their movements sluggish as they clumsily shuffled around -stepping on each other’s toes and mumbling identical apologies- before finding a position that was only a little bit awkward in the confined space, his arms on either side of her waist and bracing against the wall, her hands tentatively resting on his shoulders.

“This okay?” She asked, feeling her cheeks reddening from more than just the steam curling around them and frizzing her hair, and JJ nodded, swallowing thickly and blinking away a droplet of red-tinged condensation that slid down his forehead. Her hand, moving on its own accord, slowly reached for his face until her palm gently came to rest against his flushed cheek, the tip of her pointer finger just brushing a small cut that sliced through one eyebrow.

“How...” Sailor shook her head, taking a deep breath before finally asking the question that’d been on her mind since this whole thing started, “How long has this been happening?”

Once again he avoided her wide-eyed gaze, eyelids fluttering shut as he answered hesitantly, quietly, “I...I don’t remember a time when it didn’t.”

His answer chipped away the last brick in the dam and the floodgates broke. She flung herself into his chest, arms wrapping around his shoulders and fingers twisting in the sodden fabric of his shirt, sobbing into the warm skin of his neck. He froze in her embrace, whole body stock-still until something in him seemed to break too, and his own arms encircled her waist, bit by bit, pulling her close as he buried his face into her shoulder and two sixth graders slowly slumped to the shower floor in a tangled mess of limbs.

“J, why didn’t you say anything?”

His body trembled in her arms and she inhaled sharply at his reply of, “Because I’m not worth it.”

Pulling away from his neck to rest her forehead against his, she cupped his face in both hands and forced him to look her in the eyes, her voice quiet but adamant, insistent as she said, “Don’t you dare say that again, got it? You are worth it. So, so worth it.”

The look behind his red-rimmed, ocean blue gaze was made of pure, unadulterated disbelief and Sailor, at a loss, wracked her brain for something, anything she could do to make him see himself the way she did: loyal, adventurous, funny, and oh so brave, already a beloved, dear friend to her in the short time she’d known him. How could she help him realize he was so much more than his father’s abuse?

‘What can I do to make you believe me?’

An epiphany came to her like a bolt of lightning straight to the heart. It was more than a little crazy and the thought of actually doing it was lowkey terrifying but she’d seen it work beautifully for Alison and her girlfriend Peyton that one time and hell, she was so desperate to help her friend that she’d do just about anything. And so before her anxious mind could start to overthink she surged forward, both hands still holding his face in a gentle grip, and firmly pressed her lips to his.

JJ’s eyes were almost comically wide while he stared, frozen still at her touch, and her own eyes were just as huge as she held the kiss for a few seconds and then abruptly pulled back, her face slowly changing into a shade very similar to her hair.

“Y-you, I-” He stuttered, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as a deep pink flush started to color the tan skin of his neck. “Wh-why-”

“Because you are worthy, J. Promise me you won’t forget that.” Her words were as fierce as the hug she pulled him into, only letting the tension bleed out of her when she felt him gradually return her embrace and nod against her shoulder.

“I promise, Sail.”

“Good.”

And with that they fell silent, holding each other tight until the shower ran cold.

Sailor didn’t know it at the time but that hadn’t been just her first kiss but JJ’s too, as they never talked about it until two years later, during a game of truth or dare with the rest of the pogues. Neither actually told the truth, both giving a vague answer about a bet that seemed to placate their friends enough to let the matter drop, never to be brought up again.

The only kiss that happens today is the light brush of her lips against his forehead as she holds him close, even as the water slowly begins to lose its warmth. His embrace is tight, their limbs intertwined so fully that it’s hard to discern where one ends and the other begins and when he speaks, she has to strain to hear the words mumbled against her neck over the pounding spray of the shower.

“I don’t know how much more I can take.”

His confession cuts her deep. Hearing him admit something so utterly heartbreaking and vulnerable, coming from the side of him Sailor alone gets to see, ignites a fury that simmers under her skin and burns her from the inside out, thoughts turning venomous and, dare she say, downright homicidal. Fuck his dad. Fuck his dad and everything he’s ever done to hurt her best friend, both with and without fists.

“If I could get away with murder, I would.”

It’s true. For JJ, she’d do anything and everything to keep him safe without hesitation, up to and including maiming his dad so he could never touch him again (and if she happened to take it a little too far and straight up kill the bastard, she’d most definitely be fine with it.). He laughs, but it’s empty, hollow, and sorely lacking the joy, the carefreeness, the pure life that it normally radiates.

“You’re not the only one.”

Some time later, after the water raining down on them turns ice cold and their tears have dried, they reluctantly disentangle themselves from each other and towel off before making a quick detour to the kitchen to grab an ice pack for his ribs and have a meager dinner of sandwiches made with the last of her bread and a near empty jar of Nutella. He laughs, for real this time, when he reads the note she writes herself on the fridge future sailor, as much as you want to, you can’t live off just nutella and sheer spite, okay? please go shopping. love, past sailor <3 and grabs the marker out of her hand, adding +past jj and a little smiley face that makes her smile brightly.

They return to her room where they change, back to back, into dry clothes -one of her dresser drawers is full of his things she’s stolen acquired over the years- and, after throwing everything wet, including their discarded shirts and blanket retrieved from the bathroom, into the washing machine to be dealt with some other time, they lie on her bed side by side, shoulder to shoulder, wrapped up together in a spare throw stashed at the bottom of her closet. Binx slinks up from his spot at their feet and lazily drapes himself across their laps, purring like a motorboat when Sailor starts running her hand along his back.

“I almost sat on those,” JJ says, handing over her glasses, “and this.” He holds her forgotten book in his hands, casually flipping through the pages before turning it over and scanning the back cover.

“Have you read it before?”

He shrugs, a barely-there grimace briefly twisting his features as the motion jostles his sore ribs. “Started it, never finished.”

“Well,” She starts, slipping her glasses on and snatching the book out of his grasp, “how about we fix that? I’ll read, you pet the cat.”

Sailor’s voice is soft and steady as she starts to read aloud, a content smile on her face that’s echoed by the boy lying beside her when she settles against his side, head pillowed on the arm he curls around her shoulders without a thought. JJ’s the near perfect listener, only snickering once or twice at her total butchering of some of the more difficult Greek names (how come she can say Hephaestus just fine but gets tripped up on Dionysus?) but otherwise hanging off her every word and the relaxed ease with which he runs his hand through the ends of her damp hair fills her with a warmth, a happiness that she can’t describe but never wants to stop.

Hidden away from the rest of the world, curled up together on her bed, they forget the day’s past horrors and replace them with bright hopes for the future, exchanging comforting touches, deliberate yet played off as unintentional, in the soft glow of the bedside lamp -a caress of knuckles here, a brush of a palm there- as she reads into the night, until the cloudy sky darkens to black and they’re both fighting off the languid pull of sleep.

“I think that’s enough for today.” He plucks the book from her hands without waiting for a response and marks their place with a gas station receipt she was using as a makeshift placeholder, and setting it on the beside drawer.

“It’s your turn to read tomorrow,” He takes her glasses off with gentle fingers as she speaks into what little space still exists between them (that’s not otherwise occupied by Binx), smiling at the slow graze of his thumb along her cheek and nestles further against his side. “I’m done botching the names of deities for a while.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Damn it, Sailor kind of hates it when he says that cause it makes her feel things that she’s not quite ready to think about yet. Thankfully, her blush is swallowed by the darkness as he turns off the light and settles down beside her, arm slung low over her waist; her hand carefully brushes against his bruised ribs over the old shirt he wears, ice pack long ago thawed and thrown somewhere onto the hardwood floor.

“How do these feel? Better?”

She feels JJ nod, his chin brushing the top of her head. “Much.” There’s a pause, long enough that she starts to feel like she’s about to nod off, then he whispers, “Thank you, Sail. I know I don’t say it enough.”

She takes a deep breath, fingers stilling on his side, “Because you don’t need to, J. Remember what I said earlier, in the bathroom?”  

He nods again but doesn’t reply, instead drawing circles on the small of her back, so she takes it as a cue to continue, “I care about you, okay? You don’t have to thank me for that. I’m just...doing what feels right.”

After a beat, the arm she’s using as a pillow curls and pulls her tighter against him as he says quietly, almost shyly, “I care about you, too.”

The rain outside had slowed to a drizzle without either teenager noticing and the gentle pitter-patter against the roof casts a somnolent spell into the air, dazed and dreamy. It wraps around the pair, not unlike the way they wrap around each other, and slowly, easily, safely, they drift off as one.

-

let me know what you think!

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[the-hidden-writer]

Parental Instinct

Whumptober 2020 - Day 3

hey @ marvel give us literally any edwin jarvis and baby tony content pls and thank

@whumptober2020

Prompt: Held At Gunpoint Fandom: Marvel, Agent Carter Character(s): Edwin Jarvis, Tony Stark, Peggy Carter, Howard Stark Words: 1,502 tw: gunshot, blood, implied child abuse

“A child is not an invention, Howard!”

“Well I made him, so he belongs to me! You don’t get a say in how I raise my son!”

“But you’re not even the one raising him, Mr Jarvis is!”

Edwin Jarvis pulled a sniffling Anthony closer to his chest. Peggy Carter and Howard Stark hadn’t been seeing eye to eye of late, little Anthony being the cause, and though Edwin had plenty to say on the matter he decided to keep quiet. Partly because Ms Carter could handle herself and Mr Stark was his employer, but also because he needed to comfort Anthony.

Definitely not because he was intimidated by how they were arguing about him.

“You don’t run a multi-billion dollar company Peg, you don’t know how much I’ve got on my plate! Jarvis just helps to-”

“‘Helps?’ Jarvis just ‘helps?!’ Howard, you must be mad to not see that Jarvis doesn’t ‘just’ do anything! The man’s been working for you for god knows how many years because you’ve got him under some silly notion that he owes you something. You treat him like a slave-”

“Hey, I pay Jarvis huge-”

Peggy slammed her hands down onto the command table. 

“I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT MONEY-”

“If I may interrupt,” Edwin said meekly, causing the pair’s heads to snap towards him, “Ms Carter, I work for Mr Stark entirely of my own accord. And he doesn’t treat me unkindly.”

He hoped that only Ms Carter would understand what he was insinuating.

“And as far as I’m concerned, if I had my way I would spend every hour of every day with Master Anthony.”

Peggy sent him a look of pity, and it made Edwin uncomfortable. He was very happy in his position, and to have his best friend not support him was a very unwelcome feeling.

Howard seemed to pick up on the shared look between the Brits and he scowled.

“Jarvis, take Anthony home. I’ll make my own way back.” He instructed, turning his back on Peggy.

Peggy stared at Edwin intensely over Howard’s shoulder, as if daring him to obey Stark’s words like a dog obeys its master.

After meeting Peggy’s eye one last time, Edwin hung his head with a gulp. 

“Right away, Sir.”

Throwing her hands into the air, Peggy scoffed. 

As Edwin adjusted Anthony’s position in his arms and turned to leave, he heard his friend whisper something angrily to Howard, and Howard shouting in response. He tried to tune them out and sang softly to distract a frightened Anthony.

His singing tactic seemed to have worked because little Anthony was positively chirpy in the car journey back home. He’d begun to try and sing all by himself, and it warmed Edwin’s heart when he realised that he was trying to mimic Edwin’s own voice and song. And so, Edwin thought, it would be a crime not to join in.

They were halfway through their fourteenth time singing ‘Sing A Song Of Sixpence’ when Jarvis noticed the car tailing them.

He panicked and foolishly swerved into the first alleyway he could find.

“Why stop singy, Jaabis?” Anthony asked beside him.

(Whenever Edwin had to drive Anthony anywhere when Mr Stark was angry, he always fitted the car seat in the front so that he could sit beside him. It was usually a treat for both of them. Now, Edwin wished he could hide Anthony literally anywhere but the front seat.)

“No reason, Anthony.” Though it was already late and the lack of light in the alley he’d chosen made seeing difficult, the group of three men approaching was still distinct through the darkness. 

Trying to quench his own rising sense of panic, Edwin quietly unbuckled the boy and stroked his back. “We’re going to play a game now, alright?” He said as the closest man’s shadow fell over him, unable to prevent his voice from cracking with fear. “Stay as quiet as we can. Can you do that for me?”

Anthony nodded and placed a chubby finger over his lips. Despite the situation, Edwin smiled. 

Being a personal butler (and often chauffeur) to Howard Stark meant that Edwin Jarvis was not unfamiliar with being chased in the car and/or mugged. But usually it was when Howard was present, or at least when he was alone.

Never just him and Anthony. And unlike Mr Stark, Jarvis couldn’t brandish huge amounts of money to bribe assailants.

There was a rifle in the car. He was the one who put it there. But it was on Anthony’s side, and the men were close enough to see any move he made. It wasn’t worth the risk. If he acted defenceless, there was a chance the pair may get off better.

Better, but not completely unharmed.

And so Edwin panicked. He panicked as he continued to rub Anthony’s back soothingly. He panicked as he whispered words of reassurance.

He jumped when the driver’s window was smashed open. He screamed when the passenger window was smashed open, showering Anthony in glass, and a large pair of hands lifted him out.

“Get out.” The assailant on his side commanded, and Edwin did so without a word, his heart thumping dangerously heavily in his chest.

The second he was on his feet, he felt something cool and hard get sharply pressed in the small of his back. Again, he wasn’t unfamiliar to the sensation of having the barrel of a gun attached to him.

On the other side, the second man was holding Anthony in a way that was restraining his tiny limbs. The third man had a gun pointed at him from a distance.

“We’ve got simple demands, butler.” The first man snarled behind him. “Talk to your boss. Tell him you need help. We’ll handle the rest.”

Now, here’s the odd thing.

In normal (literally all other) circumstances, Edwin wouldn’t have wasted a second obeying and begging Stark for help. He’d done that exact thing many times before.

But that time wasn’t normal. In that instance, he happened to be staring a wailing Anthony in the face as he was twisted and bruised by their captors. And for some reason, it was only that time that Edwin remembered his military training.

And suddenly, his instinct was telling him to do a very stupid thing that would almost certainly get himself killed. His instinct had never done that before.

Edwin did it anyway.

Having the height advantage, he threw himself backwards onto his personal assailant who was caught off guard. The gun hurt when he landed on it, but that sensation of pain helped him to immediately roll over and snatch it. It then took him only a few seconds to orientate himself and get himself onto his knees, where he could shoot the man holding his child without harming Anthony himself.

And so he took the shot. It met its mark and the man stumbled backwards, releasing a shocked Anthony. Edwin had a millisecond to sigh with relief before he quickly aimed at the third assailant and pulled the trigger.

Two shots rang out.

The assailant fell to the ground. Edwin did too.

“JAABIS!” Anthony screamed, rushing to his side and gently slapping his cheek to check if he was alright in his own, innocent way.

It took at least five seconds (it felt like longer) for Edwin to feel any pain. When he did, he realised he now had a hole in his left shoulder. Oh.

“Jaabis! Jaabis, y-you oh-tay?”

Surprisingly, he felt fine. In excruciating pain, yes, but not panicky anymore. That was very odd, considering he’d just been shot, but the important thing was that Anthony was safe.

But why had he done that?

“Uh oh, bwood! Jaabis, bwood! Bwood!”

Edwin coughed and gritted his teeth. “I know, I know.” He outstretched his right arm towards the child. “Come here.”

Anthony waddled towards him, his big brown eyes wide with shock and worry. He wrapped his tiny hands around Edwin’s index finger and squeezed it.

“W-Would you like to do me a favour?”

It was a phrase that he’d often use when working around the mansion. Since Anthony toddled around to follow him anyway, he’d ask the boy to help with the easiest of tasks. That way, he was hoping to prevent him from becoming a stereotypical selfish rich boy and instead into a kind-hearted one with at least some sort of sense of responsibility.

And Anthony, bless him, always said yes.

Through his tears (oh no, he was crying) Anthony nodded bravely. “Oh-tay.”

Edwin tried to hide his agony and smiled. “I’m going to need you to go towards that bright lamppost over there and call for help as loud as you can. Can you do that for me?”

Anthony nodded and immediately began to run over towards the light and main road.

“Hewp!” He yelled. “Pwease hewp! Bwood! My dada needs hewp!”

For a brief second, Edwin lost all sense of pain as he registered Anthony’s words.

So that’s why he did it.

[alexiaaaaaaaaambriz]

End of A Day

Please listen to the following for best experience reading: 

End of A Day Orchestra Version by Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra

Megumi remembers the first time his hands laid on a violin. 

He remembers being 4 and gifted a violin for his birthday. 

He remembers the wide smile on his father’s face and a small smile from his mother and sister.

He remembers being told by his father that one day he will surpass him in skills.

Coming from the prestigious Fushiguro family, known for its patriarch's violin skills throughout Asia, Megumi understood from a young age it was his role to uphold the family name and continue the legacy set by his father. 

Through a strict and repetitive routine, Megumi learned how to play the violin and various pieces to play. He can remember the excitement he felt when he won his first national competition, and the time he won his first international one. The smile on his father’s face was enough to keep Megumi motivated to strive for more. 

However, nothing could have prepared him for the nervousness he felt as he stood behind the large red curtains, peeking at the crowd seated in front of him. He’s never been surrounded by that many prominent figures in the international classical music community. Megumi feels more jittery after learning of the arrival of the Nanami family,  known throughout Asia for being one of the leading performers for Seoul and Japan’s Philharmonic Orchestra. He recognizes you, whose before him to perform as the younger flutist of the family. and searches the crowd for your brother, known internationally for being the first Japanese pianist to come in second place throughout the competition’s history at the 2010 International Chopin Piano competition.

The thought of Nanami watching him perform makes Megumi extremely scared. 

Megumi can feel his heart ramming in his chest, because he’s afraid of making a mistake in front of prestigious people in the international classical music scene. He would be even more embarrassed if Nanami saw him commit an error. 

His thoughts are interrupted as he hears the bottom of your heels clack against the wooden ground as you walk past him, flute in hand. You bow to the audience as the judges converse, placing your fingers on the keys of the cool metal as you position the instrument near your mouth. The sounds emitted from the instrument are soft, airy, and wind-like as the registers fluctuate between different levels. 

You’re performing a piece Megumi doesn’t quite know, and he thinks, is this her own rendition of a song? 

His eyes become diverted towards you once again and he notices you’re moving beautifully to the sounds the flute produces, all while keeping your embouchure steady. Megumi notices no sign of fear or nervousness in you and feelings of envy arise in him. He wishes to be able to play with as much confidence as you do. He wishes he could create his own rendition of a song without having to conform to what his father tells him to perform.  The soft sounds of the flute penetrate his ears, and he allows himself to close his eyes and emerge himself in the piece. He can feel his nerves lessen as he takes a deep breath, engraving the light and graceful sound into his memory. He likes the melody. 

His thoughts are interrupted by the last note of the piece and he opens his eyes to see you bowing at the people in the crowd.

The crowd erupts into fits of clapping, the sound vividly echoing throughout the walls of the theatre. You wave your hands at them before bowing one last time, heels clacking against the wooden floor as you walk besides Megumi to go backstage, clutching your flute into your hands whispering a quick good luck. 

Megumi’s not quite sure why your words seem to resonate with him more than the words of his own father. When the lights flicker off and on again, signaling his turn, Megumi walks onto the stage, bowing as he sits down on the chair. He rests the violin on his collarbone, supporting the instrument with his left hand and by his shoulder. He tilts his chin downwards to place it on top of the violin, relaxing his neck and making sure the length is comfortable. Megumi gulps, taking a deep breath before holding the bow. 

The stage lights always seem to blind him, even after years of participating in competitions. The supporting background music starts to play and Megumi thinks about his father. 

Do not mess up. It’ll be a shame if you embarrassed yourself in front of the judges. 

He hates the pressure his father places on him, wishing his father allowed for him to choose an instrument of his choice. Megumi would prefer enhancing his piano skills, much to his father’s dismay and disapproval. 

His thoughts then shift to your words.

Good luck. 

And so he plays the piece his father chose for him: Mozart’s II. Adagio 

When all the contestants are done performing and the judges release the results, you’re smiling cheerfully as you win first place for your rendition of End of The Day, a song from one of your favorite foreign artists from South Korea. The judges compliment your decision to cover a piece aside from the classical genre and the ability to execute it so well. Megumi comes in second, praised for his technique and facial expressions. 

And while second place is a notable achievement, it is not satisfactory to him because he understands that creativity in a scene dominated by old pieces is highly valuable, an idea that his father seems to reject. 

When everybody is sent to gather their belongings, Megumi searches the area for you, trying to spot your hair and distinct features in a crowded backstage. He spots you, placing your flute in its protective casing, sealing it beneath black leather. He’s practically running towards you, his raven hair and tie running side to side. He ignores the yells of his father before he kneels in front of you, placing his hands on his knees as he pants. You’re stunned by his appearance, looking up at him while tucking a piece of your hair behind his ear. 

Megumi pants one last time before meeting your eyes with his own, blue eyes shining with determination. The glint in his eyes do not go unnoticed and your lips curve upward, awaiting what he has to say. 

“I’ll surpass you one day!” He yells, pointing at you as he corrects his posture, standing up while looking down at you, knees crossed on the ground as you grab the handle of the black leather case, standing up to meet his eyes. You’re a bit taller than him, and the realization makes you giggle as Megumi’s cheeks begin to turn red out of embarrassment from noticing your eyes looking down on him. 

“So the roles have been reversed,” Your lips form into a smirk as you move your hair to the side, wanting to assert your dominance over him. 

In a field dominated by men, your brother and family always remind you that whenever possible, strive to be the bigger person. It’s exactly what you do in this moment. 

Megumi purses his lips, hands rubbing behind his neck as he looks towards the side, wanting to conceal much of his flustered appearance as he could. You think the raven-haired boy whose hair sticks out in different directions looks absolutely adorable in a flustered state. 

You want to tease him even more but your thoughts are interrupted by the familiar voice of your brother. 

“Nanami!” 

The blonde-haired man embraces you in a hug, ruffling his hands through your hair as he kisses your forehead. “I’m incredibly proud of you.” He states, flashing a smile at you as he looks at the blue-eyed male in front of him. He looks visibly stunned, Nanami notices. 

If Megumi wasn’t filled with determination to speak to you, perhaps he would have fanboyed over the famed pianist. It’s one thing to see him from afar, but another thing up close, he thinks.

“Y/N, the chauffeur is waiting for us,” Nanami says, fixing his tie as he takes ahold of your case, turning around before walking to the exit. You nod quickly at his words before diverting your attention back to Megumi.

“Fushiguro, in 8 years I’ll be performing in Seoul as a performer for the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra,” You proudly state, face grinning in excitement as you think about what the future holds for you. The excitement of moving to another country to perform with a world-renowned orchestra fills you up with joy as the thought of continuing to do what you love is a pleasant one. 

Megumi’s eyes widen at your statement, but he quickly thinks to himself that what you’re saying to him is absolutely possible. With your abilities and family prominence, it’s an actual possibility that you’ll achieve what you’ve sought to do. 

 “In 8 years, I hope to see you there beside me,” You end your sentence, holding out your hand towards him. His eyes look down at your gesture before meeting your eyes again and Megumi begins to smirk widely at your announcement. He takes your hand into his, giving it a firm shake as both of you nod at each other. 

“I will! And I’ll become even more famous than you!” Megumi exclaims as your hand leaves his, heels clacking against the floor as you walk towards the exit. Once your hand reaches the door knob, you turn around, giving him one last look and smile as you wave at him. 

Megumi smiles as the door shuts, his father walking up beside him as he grabs his hand to walk towards the exit, carrying his violin case in one hand.

He leaves the theatre with a smile on his face because he acknowledges it is not a goodbye.

It is simply a see you later. 

Days and weeks pass by and Megumi keeps practicing. 

Day and night, Megumi spends countless hours improving as much as he can. He seeks out other instructors beyond his father who help him with his creativity. He creates a few pieces of his own and uploads a multitude of them online. The melody of your rendered piece follows him throughout the day, and it becomes a daily habit for him to hum the tune. 

While Megumi continues to strive for better, he searches your name online every once in a while to see how you’re doing. As expected, you’re taking up the offers and opportunities that come along your way. You’ve won first place in several international competitions and serve as a substitute for flutist members of the North American Philharmonic Orchestra. He hears about you attending the Juilliard school, one of the most prestigious and famed schools for music.

And even though it appears you’re receiving more opportunities than Megumi, he gets a few of his own. He’s accepted into the University of Music and Performing Arts in Vienna, and he attends college in hopes of improving his skills even more. He wins an endless amount of violin competitions throughout the world, and performs with the Japan Philharmonic Orchestra. At the age of 20, Megumi feels almost satisfied. 

Megumi’s manager informs him of a private audition the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra wants him to attend, and without hesitation, Megumi says yes.

As hoped, Megumi becomes a performer. He’s delighted in his achievement because he feels that he can finally compete with you on the same level. He’s informed of your status within the orchestra, and how they will be performing your famed piece at the Seoul Arts Center. When he practices with the other members, he never sees you.

He’s informed of your short absence that you’ve taken after Nanami gets into an accident. 

And so the time passes, and the day comes where the orchestra will perform.

Megumi clutches his violin tightly as he sits in his chair, speaking Korean to the other performers as he awaits your arrival. While there are talks of you perhaps not coming at all, Megumi refuses to believe them. The time passes, and the curtains are 5 minutes away from opening when he hears the familiar sound of your heels hit the wooden ground.

He whips his head around, and his blue eyes meet yours. You’re clutching your flute tightly as you run towards him, embracing him in a hug as you’re laughing.

“You actually did it!” You yell as the sounds of laughter continue to escape your mouth. Megumi is quick to embrace you in his arms, and he lets out a laugh as the feeling of relief escapes him. 

“Told you I would,” Megumi smirks, and you can’t help but continue to smile. You’re not quite sure why you feel like crying, and you can’t help the tears that come. Megumi takes notice and quickly dabs them away as you sniff and pull away from him.

 “Our paths were destined to intertwine after all, weren’t they?” You say as Megumi nods, allowing himself to smile.

As you’re ushered away to your spot, the lights turn off and Megumi continues to smile.

Megumi takes a moment to appreciate everything that has happened. He’s grateful for his mother, his sister, and even his father for pushing him to pursue an instrument he grew to love. He thanks the instructors who have helped him in his journey, and he thanks you, for giving him the motivation to do everything he did. 

The stage lights always seem to blind both of you, even after countless times of performing. 

Both of you take your bow after the formal applause by the audience, smiling as both of you rise up in unison.  Standing in front of the sheet music stand, your fingers pick up the cool nickel material, placing it by your lips. The coldness of the material makes the hair on the back on your neck raise up, reminding you of the familiar sense of conformity the instrument has given you throughout the years. Tranquility spreads throughout your body as you notice the conductor dip his hand for the metre. 

Your eyes divert to the raven-haired boy next to you, and blue eyes meet you as the music begins. 

At the end of each day, both of you were meant to be each other’s life. 

[formerprincess]

A tale written with fangs and claws || Chapter 60

Chapters: 60/? Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt Characters: Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken, Mason Hewitt, Corey Bryant, Nolan (Teen Wolf) Additional Tags: Alpha Liam Dunbar, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, Dunbar Pack, Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Werewolf Theo Raeken, Alpha Theo Raeken, Canon-Typical Violence, Smut, Mates, Liam and Theo are mates, Top Theo Raeken, Bottom Theo Raeken, Top Liam, Bottom Liam Dunbar Series: Part 1 of Morning Dew Pack

Liam meets with Luka again and learns a bit more about the other werewolf pack. The friendship is blossoming.

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"Thank you for dropping me off." Liam climbed out of the passenger seat of Savannah's car and closed the passenger door behind him. "Don't forget to text me!" The blonde yelled through the open window before she reversed her car. Liam waved at her and watched her drive away before he finally made his way to the front door of his house. Luka, Savannah, Maddie, and he had sat together in the bar and talked for a while until they all had to disperse in different directions. Maddie and Luka had matters to attend to in regards to business and coven, Savannah had plans with her friends later on but offered to drop Liam off. He had gladly accepted her offer since it saved him from riding the bus during summer. Would Theo or someone else had come to get Liam? Absolutely but his Betas were not his chauffeurs.

Liam unlocked the door now and stepped into the house. He heard the tv running, the bass of Mike's music coming from downstairs. As always, it filled Liam with the undeniable feeling of home and happiness. Here he belonged. He hung his keys up and walked further into the house. Theo and Mason lounged on the opposite ends of the couch; Theo with a book in his hand and Mason with his notebook. Corey sat in front of the couch table and solved a puzzle. Tim sat in one of the chairs and watched tv. "Hey, you're back." Mason checked his watch. "Way later than I expected you to be. So it was good?" The others stopped what they were doing and turned to Liam. Tim even muted the series he had been watching. "Mixed, I would say." Liam kissed Theo and then sat next to his mate. Theo licked his lips. "Have you've been drinking lemon shots?" "I'm concerned how you got that from just one kiss", Liam remarked. Then he decided to answer Mason's question. "First of, those Alphas really think they're something else. Something I'm not. I don't have enough millions in my bank account to ever have them accept me." "That bad? I'm sorry." Corey grimaced. His parents were like that as well and he despised them for it. "Most of them, yeah. But I met three people who are very cool. First of, Mase, were cheetahs and vampire are a thing." Mason squeaked and pushed his notebook out of the way. "Tell me everything!" "The hotel had such old Hollywood glam style. Not my chic but whatever. First I met Savannah. She's the cheetah. Alpha of a very small pack here in Seattle. Outgoing, very direct, and honest. She talked to me before I even entered the meeting room. Was her first time too. We kind of stuck together. Then we met Meadow, the vampire. She has been to meetings before but she does not like the Alphas. She has a human best friend and told me he also has some notes about the supernatural community. I invited the two of them here cause I thought you and him could maybe check your notes, combine them so to speak. He surely will have things you don't have and vice versa, Mason and Corey." "Great idea." Corey helped Mason with the Bestiary and he would also profit from meeting Asher. If Asher wanted to follow the invitation. Maddie had said it would not be a problem but Liam would wait for clarification from Asher himself. "You said you met three people. Who's the third?" Theo asked. "Luka. He's the only other cool werewolf I met. Also older than us but his pack is from around. They're more modern and open-minded. Like ours is." "Sounds good. All in all, it seemed as if the meeting wasn't for nothing." Mason smiled. "And vampires. Wait! How was she there? Can she walk in the sun? Did the other Alphas wrangle her into the hotel? Is she traveling in a coffin? Did she try to drink your blood? What was she like??" "Jesus, Mason." Corey shook his head. But Liam gladly answered every question his Emissary had. "I'll stay in contact with them", he finally ended and his mate, as well as Consultant and Emissary, voiced their agreement. "Liam?" Tim said shyly. "Didn't you put up a rule of not having strangers come to the house? When you said you invited the vampire and her friend here, are you not breaking your own rule?"

Shit. Oh shit.

Liam had completely forgotten about that rule. Yes, he had told his Betas not to bring strangers into their new home. And here he was breaking his very own rule. Great, Dunbar! "No...I mean...yeah, I did....But...." Tim got up to leave the room. "I mean, you're the Alpha and therefore it's your decision. You can do whatever you want. I just remembered the rule." He gave an insecure shrug and then left the room in the direction of his room. Liam huffed. "You forgot you had put the rule in place, right?" Theo guessed. "Yep." Liam closed his eyes for a moment and scolded himself mentally. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! "I mean, you are the Alpha. We can still follow the rules but what you do is up to you", Corey suggested softly. Liam's eyes snapped open. "No!" He said sharply. "We're not running a pack like that! If rules are in place, we all have to follow them. Including me. Especially me." "Then you have to decide what to do with that situation. You could always meet with Meadow and her friend somewhere else", Mason suggested. "No. The rule made sense back then but not it's not feasible anymore. And I will tell Tim that."

The young Alpha got up from the couch and marched downstairs to his Beta's room. He knocked, waited a few moments, then opened the door. Liam peeked into the room. "Hey. Have a minute?" Tim had sat on his desk and now spun around in his chair, a mixture of shock and surprise written on his face. But then he caught himself and nodded. Liam walked in and closed the door behind him. "You can sit on the bed if you want." Tim pointed at said furniture piece and Liam sat down on the edge. He rubbed his palms over his thighs. "You're right. I set this rule and I completely and utterly forgot about it. Had you not said anything, it would have left my mind forever. I am sorry about that." "It's okay. As I said, you're the Alpha. You make the rules, you sure can break the rules." Tim tried his best to give off the impression it was really okay. But Liam was stubborn. "It's not okay", he stated calmly. "When I set the rule, it seemed reasonable to me and came from a place of being worried about everyone and our home. I wanted to be absolutely sure nothing could get to us. That was weeks ago. I should have kept it in mind and change it again after Ever cast the spell and we were more secure. I didn't. I fucked up and I am sorry about that." Tim opened his mouth to protest but Liam was faster: "I am grateful for you guys calling me out. Tim, you're my friend, my family, my Beta. You and the others absolutely should call me out when I do something wrong. I'm not perfect and I will make these mistakes. But only with this echo from you, I can improve and become a better leader. I'm not mad at you and you don't have to be afraid to speak up. This rule was okay back then but now is not anymore. Therefore I cut it. Gone! Just like that! thank you for bringing this up. I mean it. But what will never happen is that I set rules for you and then don't follow them myself. This is not the type of leader I wanna be. Okay?" Tim gnawed on his lip. "I would not care so much but this is the first house I am not judged and ridiculed in. I can be myself and I want to protect it as much as I can", he confessed. "So do I, Timmy", Liam promised him. "I would never let anyone in here I might consider not fully trustworthy." Tim considered. "So you trust Meadow and her friend?" "I do, yeah." Liam nodded. "Do you consider them good allies for the pack?" The twenty-year-old had to laugh. "My brain's not wired like that." Liam played with his hands. "Theo is good at that, Mason too. But I don't think strategically. On the lacrosse field, yeah, that's my jam, but not when it comes to people. I meet a person and I either like or dislike them. Maybe I trust too easy and maybe I will make a fool out of myself but then I have to take responsibility for it. I can't, I don't want to meet someone and be like Your name is what? Oh, you will be a splendid ally to my pack. This is not me and I will probably never get there. Hence why I keep Theo around", he joked at the end. Tim chuckled but then sighed. "I know what you mean. I'm not like that either. It would feel...I don't know...like..." They both thought about it. "Like using someone", they both finally said at the same time and this time they both laugh. "Mike is good at it too. To easily find out how people can be useful to him upon meeting them." "Maybe it's a survival tactic", Liam put out a theory. "How can you help me in my current situation to get a better stand and survive. Would explain why Theo is so good at it. He and Mike both needed to survive in a world that didn't want them." Tim raised his shoulders. "My survival tactic is not being seen or heard. Not draw any attention." "Well, I hope you don't feel like that anymore in the house or around the pack in general." Liam sounded like a father, he realized that himself. But wasn't an Alpha supposed to be a father sometimes? Tim shook his head. "Not always. But it's hard to unlearn what I learned for nineteen years. You know, you guys are great! You make me feel welcome! Don't think anybody else, please!"

He moved his hands around and knocked over a small can filled with brushes of all kinds. They clattered to the floor. Liam knelt and helped him pick them up again. "Didn't know you were painting, Timmy. Those are many brushes." His Beta turned a concerning shade of red and stuttered. "I...No...Not...Irgs. I don't paint! Pictures! I don't paint pictures!" "Then what do you paint?" Liam had never seen Tim being creative with brushes in any shape or form. From how his friend acted, one would think he was doing forbidden things with those brushes. "You don't have to tell me, of course. I'm just curious." You could basically see Tim's thought process on his face. Denial, fear, nervousness, fear again, shame. Finally, he pointed to the other side of the room. There was a large board with something tiny on it. Curiosity got the better of Liam and he stepped closer. Tiny little figurines were placed all over the board, along with trees, and various other little things. There was even a tiny truck looking amazingly similar to Theo's truck. And there was a car looking like Liam's. Wait a second. "Are those figurines of the pack?" Tim rushed next to Liam. "I can stop with that if you think it's weird. It's just, I like making those little scenes and take inspiration from real life." He gently pushed a tiny figurine in a blue jersey. A tiny Liam in lacrosse gear, Liam realized. "You've got to be kidding me! This is awesome! Can I touch it?" Liam was in awe. Tim blushed furiously but then gently placed lacrosse Liam on Liam's palm. The young Alpha turned the figurine to inspect it from all sides. For such a small thing, the details were incredibly detailed. "I make the figurines from a special clay and then I paint them. I hope you don't think it's weird. I am sorry if you do. I'm not a creep, I promise!" Tim almost stumbled over his words in his haste to get them out. "You make them? This is incredible, Tim! Why did you never show us this? That's not creepy or weird, this is fucking amazing! You're crazy talented." Liam could not stop praising the guy. And Tim beamed under the praise. Once he realized Liam did not find anything weird about that and actually loved it, he preened. "Does anybody in the pack know you're doing this?" "Mike knows." Tim smiled shyly. "But I made him swear he wouldn't tell a soul. Made him swear on something important to him." "Uh uh. What did he swear on?" Now Tim blushed again. "Our friendship." "Aw." Those two were cute and deserved each other. Mike because he needed a calm anchor in his life, Tim because he needed someone to speak up when he couldn't himself. "But seriously, Timmy, those are cool. I'm not going to say anything but if you ever want to share with the rest, I can already assure you, they will be as amazed as I was. It's a really cool hobby. I imagine it takes a lot of time?" "Oh, it does. But I like to modulate all the figurines and then paint them. It's calm work and I can think while doing it." Tim began chatting about his hobby. Now that Liam knew it seemed like a dam had burst and he could share it with the Alpha. Liam willingly listened.

****** "I'm glad you could clear the air with Tim." Theo pulled the covers back and crawled in bed. Liam was already under the covers and had scrolled through his phone but now put the device away to concentrate on the talk with his mate. "I'm glad too. It is important to me to get those kinds of replies so I can reflect on myself. I'm not doing everything right. But I'm working on it." "You're doing a lot of things already right. The things you're not doing right, well they partly make you Liam. Not perfect but human and very loveable." "How were you ever the chimera of death?" Liam teased and Theo smacked him with his pillow. Liam laughed. "I am trying here to compliment you and you do not appreciate it? You should be ashamed of yourself!" Theo wailed. Liam laughed louder. "Naw, you will survive that one, big boy. You know I love you." To prove it, he pressed his mate down on the mattress and kissed him passionately. Theo laughed into the kiss but returned it soon enough. "I know you love me", he mumbled after they parted. "And I love you, Lee." Liam was proud to hear that and he smirked. His phone chimed and he let go of Theo to grab it. "It's from Luka. He's asking if I want to meet up sometime next week. Cool." Liam already typed an answer. "You really like the three, right?" Theo mused. Liam looked up from his phone screen. Theo was watching him with questioning eyes but there was no sign of jealousy as he had shown with Scott in the beginning. He sighed. "I do. It's strange. They're all older than me and yet they never acted like they had to explain the world to me. Never a patronizing word, never telling me I'm still so young. I was just Liam and from the get-go, I was part of this little gang. I didn't have to prove myself to them. Because it felt like I had already proved myself prior to meeting them and they didn't even care. It was nice. I wasn't...." "You weren't the fourteen-year-old?" Theo asked amusedly and yet with compassion. "Yeah", Liam confirmed. "I wasn't even Liam the twenty-year-old. I was just...Liam." He fell silent for a few beats. "Doesn't mean I will leave you guys behind. You're my family." "Nobody's thinking that!" Theo furrowed his brows. "If we did, we would be bad friends and family members. We all are individuals outside of this pack and we all will make friendships without the pack being involved. If not, we would be one lousy pack. What we are is, happy you found people appreciating you and liking you for who you are." He reached out and pushed Liam's chin up so the couple looked at each other. "Liam, you have so many things going on for you. Your age shouldn't be one of the first things to notice." It was still strange to hear those things with such sincerity and Liam swallowed dryly. "What's the first thing?" He asked softly. Theo smiled lovingly. "Your good heart. And your eyes. Not because of their color - even though it's a beautiful color - but because they shine with such honesty and happiness." They stared at each other, Liam lost for words. He found his voice only after moments passed. "Were you always that poetic?" "You bring out the best in me", the ex-chimera replied and then kissed Liam deeply.

****** "Not to be pessimistic or something but would it not have been better to plant the flowers after the heatwave?" Liam stood in the open front door and watched Brett watering their plants. Nope", the tall werewolf replied and carried on with his task. "Because?" "Because I wanted to do it now", Brett simply answered. He gave Liam a cheeky grin. "That's reason enough." "Why would I ever doubt that?" Liam remarked teasingly. "Careful before I water you. You could use some growing", Brett teased back. The next moment, he was distracted by the red convertible oldtimer rolling into their driveway. The car was highly polished, not one speck of dirt to be seen, and it was sparkling in the sun. "Holy crap, that is awesome." Brett didn't even realize he was watering the ground instead of the plants, too busy staring at the car. It stopped in front of the entrance and Luka in the driver seat smirked. "Hi." "Hi." Liam laughed. "Nice car." "It's the pack car when one of us wants to go for a nice ride. Holden, a pack member, resto moded it but he lends it to everyone. Thought it's a nice day, why not take it?" He took off his sunglasses and seemed quite proud of his Beta's skills. Liam had no interest in cars but it was a pretty one and why not? He had no objections to driving around in this. Mike and Theo came out of the house. "Dude, that car is sick!" Mike jumped down the stairs and rounded it. Luka preened. "I'll forward it to Holden." Theo was also circling the car, as amazed by it as Mike and Brett were. Liam could only shake his head. Who knew those guys were such car freaks? "Luka, that one over there is Brett and that guy there is Mike. And that is Theo." "Nice to meet you." Theo was the only one to actually shake Luka's hand, the other two simply waved and then continued to fawn over the car. "Nice to meet you too", Luka replied. "You're Liam's boyfriend, right?" "I am", Theo proudly confirmed. "Bring him back in one piece." "I swear on my life", Luka promised in a playful serious tone. Liam grunted. "I can hear you guys! Theo, maybe I won't bring Luka back in one piece. How about that?" "As long as you bring the car back in one piece!" Mike cut in and made them all laugh. "Okay, now that some of my Betas embarrassed me in front of you, I'll get my sunglasses and we can go", Liam called out to the older Alpha and ran into the house and upstairs.

It took him a little while to find his sunglasses (he really needed to try and be tidier) but when he found them under some papers, Liam let out a triumphant cry and ran back downstairs. His Betas were involved in a conversation with Luka (surprisingly not about cars) which Liam now interrupted. "I'm ready." "Great. Hop in." Liam opened the passenger door and marveled at how smooth this was going. He somehow expected the door to get stuck because of age. But this car looked and felt like a brand new one. "See you guys later. Don't burn the house down", he joked. "Yes, dad!" All three Betas chimed in unison. Theo smirked and came to the passenger side to give Liam a quick kiss. "Have fun", he mumbled and Liam nodded. "Bye, guys. See you next time!" Luka called out before he started the car and soon they rolled down the driveway.

"You're one of the few people in this car to use the seatbelt immediately", he informed Liam when he turned into the street. The young Alpha looked down. "I do this in every car. My mother drilled this into me from a young age. I could not drive in a car without buckling up." "My mom was like that too. She always said just because were werewolves didn't mean we had to challenge fate. And she got mad if she saw one of us without a seatbelt on. Not just her own kids but basically everyone. There is a story where she refused to drive another Alpha's wife to the airport because the lady refused to put hers on. It's said they sat in the car for forty minutes until my dad went looking for them." Liam started laughing. "That's dedication. It's that the temper you were talking about?" Now Luka laughed. "My mom was stubborn. I'm too. And my sister is as well. Fun times during puberty, I can tell you. Good thing my dad was good at finding middle ground." "Your parents seemed like an amazing couple. Their personalities really matched with each other, from what I already heard." He wanted to know more about his new friend. And Liam wanted to share things about himself as well. He believed Savannah was right, this could become great friendships. "They were the perfect match even though their personalities were as different as they can be. But they balanced each other out. They were incredible Alphas for our pack." "You say Alphas. Were both real Alphas? Or just an Alpha couple?" Luka stopped at a crosswalk and let some pedestrians pass. "Technically, if you base it on red eyes and stamina, my father was the Alpha. My mother was a Beta but no one would have dared to treat her like one. Or like she was just dad's wife and mate. The way she cared for her pack, the way she made decisions, the way she spoke, she was an Alpha. There is so much more to an Alpha than red eyes. It's all about behavior and the relationship to the pack members." "I don't base it on the red eyes. Theo, he's also a Beta, but we call him Second Alpha. He takes over if I can't. We're the Alpha couple. Why should the color of somebody's eyes define their role?" Luka agreed with Liam's point of view. "There are some packs without an Alpha with red eyes. One Beta is in charge and guides them." "I didn't know that, that's awesome. But wouldn't that be an Alpha by conquest in the long run?" "Depends on how serious the pack takes it. Not all packs are focused on Alpha and Betas, some are more lenient. There are so many kinds of packs. Not just different species but different versions. There are also many Alpha Omegas around." "Alphas without a pack? So wolves with the Alpha spark." "Yeah." "Huh." Liam had never considered that. To him, Omegas had always been those wolves. With normal wolf powers. What were normal wolf powers? Betas? Liam guessed so. He never bothered to really make a distinction or think about what exactly Omegas were. "I kind of don't know a lot about the supernatural. I know how to fight and about several evil beings but all those connections between weres, species, what other magical beings are there, rituals, I know nothing about." Luka didn't take it badly. "At what age were you bitten?" "Fourteen." "You're twenty now. Which means I'm twelve years older than you. Trust and believe me when I tell you I didn't know that much more when I was your age. Plus I have the unfair advantage of being born in a werewolf family." He smiled impishly. Liam grinned. Yet he still insisted on his opinion. "I still think the first few years as a werewolf did not prepare me for that."

Thus he found himself telling Luka everything, from how Scott bit him to the hyenas. It was somewhat therapeutic to talk about all this with another wolf without knowing him beforehand. He didn't need to find periphrases for things, could tell it how it happened and didn't need to sugarcoat the events. He also could be as open as possible without having to worry about insulting some old friends. It had been the same with Byron.

He talked until they parked in the parking lot of the restaurant they had picked to grab something to eat. Liam didn't know the place but according to Luka it had delicious food and you could sit outside under trees so it would not be too hot. "See? That's the reason why teenagers shouldn't become Alphas", Luka said matter of factly and killed the engine. "I don't mean this condescendingly but it is what it is. Maybe if Scott had been a born werewolf it would have been different but I understand why this was all complicated. And why you didn't learn about the supernatural community. You had enough other problems to take care of." "I just wished I could have learned more. Maybe being an Alpha would be easier then", Liam mumbled. "Nah." Luka denied. "Becoming an Alpha does not mean you suddenly get access to this knowledge. It's not like a hatch opens and it's flowing into your brain. You have to make mistakes to find your footing as an Alpha." He unbuckled his seatbelt. "I was prepared to become an Alpha after my father's death for years. It could have become anybody in the pack but since I'm the oldest it was kind of expected for me to take over afterward. But it's not possible to really prepare someone for the weight we shoulder as Alphas. For the magnitude of responsibility settling in. It's something we just feel. And every Alpha has to find their own way to cope with that." Liam frowned. "How do I know I'm doing the right thing then?" Luka gave him a brotherly nudge. "I'd say you're on a good way already. When the first Alpha came to town, your Betas followed you into a potentially deadly fight. They were willing to die by your side. That's a type of loyalty you cannot buy or blackmail. It's loyalty coming from the soul and the heart. And it's only happening because an Alpha made the right decision for those Betas. You're young, Liam, one of the youngest Alphas I've ever met but you marched into the Alpha meeting without a care in the world. Do you think any of those Alphas would have done that at the age of twenty? From my point of view, you're doing absolutely great. Don't focus so much on being perfect and rather follow your heart and gut and you're set. You will be fine." It felt good to hear that. Byron told him that often enough but now a second experienced werewolf told Liam the same thing. He felt flattered. Those men saw him as equal, not just as a teenager. Saw eye-to-eye with him and respected him the same way he respected them. Enough to give Liam a soaring feeling in his chest. "Thanks." He clapped Luka's shoulder. "No come on, I'm hungry."

They exited the car and walked to the restaurant entrance. The hostess greeted them with a friendly smile and an even friendlier one when she got the first good glance at Luka. Liam was friends with Brett so this was not new to him. He was flabbergasted still. "How do you do that?" He had to inquire once they sat outside on their table and the hostess left to get menus for them. "Do what?" Luka acted innocently but his grin and the sparkle in his eyes betrayed him. The hostess came back and made a show to slowly put the menus on the table. She didn't pay Liam any mind and that was fine, he was mated, instead just gave Luka a coy smile. "Don't hesitate to ask me in case you need anything." "Will do. Thank you", he repaid her with a charming smile of his own and she left in a slow, seductive motion. On top of the menus, she left a little note with digits behind. "You barely talked to her and still got her number. Brett managed to pull this off as well. How? Not that I will ever need to try since I have Theo but how the fuck do you pull that off?" Liam could not find any satisfying explanation. Luka had gazed back at the hostess but now his head snapped back. "Luck, I guess. And charm, maybe." "Maybe, uh uh." Liam snickered. Luka had a certain boyish charm about him and that made him attractive. Not taking life too seriously, giving everything an easier vibe. Liam also understood the hostess because the deep green t-shirt Luka was wearing brought out his eyes nicely and accentuated his fit body perfectly. "I like sex. What can I say? Everywhere. No matter what country I am." Luka was not embarrassed to share this. "Have you always been like this?" "Frankly? Yeah. I always liked to flirt and when I was old enough to actually become sexually active, I saw no harm in there. I don't play. That's how my parents raised me. My mother always said: Go and have fun with whoever you want to have fun. But don't break hearts if you don't have to. Be upfront. If it's just sex, say it. Saves you and other people heartbreak. I always followed that. Yes, I had relationships but most of the time I have been single and had one-night-stands. Or several night stands. Whatever. The minute I'm interested in someone or in a relationship, I'm faithful. I can't stand cheaters." "That's the right answer. Sex is nice, with the right person even better, but I don't like players. Nice to hear someone having values."

Liam took a look inside the menu. Right on cue, a waiter appeared. "Hello gentlemen, I'm your server for today. Would you care for a drink?" The Alphas looked at each other. "Just water is fine for me", Liam decided. It was hot, despite the trees providing shade, and he would become thirsty, he knew himself. "Water is good", Luka decided himself and the waiter went to fetch their drinks. "You said no matter what country you are in. Are you traveling a lot?" Liam had picked up on that. "For work yeah." "What are you doing for a living?" "I deal in car parts for either oldtimer or pimped-out cars. Like the convertible. Holden is the mechanic, we work together. He screws the cars together, I contract the clients and the manufacturers. We have business all over the world since some of the parts are very rare. So I traveled a lot. For periods of time, I wasn't home for months. I never had my own apartment because it made no sense to pay for something I used. Tried it once and after weeks my landlord called and said he just wanted to check if I was still alive since I never came around. So I moved out again and if I stayed home, I stayed with the Alphas." "And that was okay? For you to be gone so long?" "My parents ket an open door policy. If something important came up, they called us home but aside from that, we were free to leave as long as we wanted. We knew we could always return to the pack house. No matter how late, even in the middle of the night, we were always welcome. We all made use of that rule over the years."

The waiter brought their drinks and took their order. When he left the two alone again, Liam raised his glass. "Good idea to meet up again", he praised. "Well, Savannah said it right, it's the beginning of wonderful friendships. So of course." Luka smiled and they clinked their glasses together. Liam took a sip. Perfect, cool water, he never drank anything better. He put his glass down again and savored the sip. "Uhm, I never got the chance to ask. How many Betas do you have? We're only talking about me." "I don't mind. You're good at telling a story and explaining things. Somebody ever told you that?" Luka had put his glass down as well. Liam made an incredulous face. "No. What would they? I'm kind of dumb." It had slipped out faster than Liam could have stopped it. Luka's frown was almost instantly. "What asshole told you that?" "No one. Life experience, if you will. I'm not the brightest." "You don't have to be a genius but you really don't appear dumb, Liam. Don't believe it when people tell you that. They're just haters." It had the same vibe as a worried older brother giving a stern talking to his younger sibling and Liam chuckled. He was a big brother but not a little brother and yeah he called Scott his brother sometimes but that was different. Maybe because Scott was only two years older than Liam himself. They came from the same walk of life, small town, maybe that was also a factor? Liam could not really put his finger on it but it hit differently with Luka. "Okay", he said to end this topic. "I will remember this talk." "Good", Luka looked stern but then he smiled. "To get back to the question, seven Betas. A few less than you have." He leaned back in his chair. "There is my younger sister Delaney. Younger by three years. An absolute firecracker. If she gets angry, if you piss her off, she will cuss at you and rant for hours if you let her. Especially in the background of a phone conversation. Very entertaining, if I'm being honest." Luka laughed. But the love for his sister was evident in his words. "Then there is Simon. He is...was dad's best friend. They've been to school and college together and he acted like some sort of advisor for the pack. Helped with international deals and connections. He's my godfather and like a second dad. I'm happy I still have him after I lost dad. It doesn't bear contemplating if he would have been also gone..." Luka trailed off. Liam managed a compassionate smile. "I am sorry for your loss. Losing somebody we love is never easy." He touched his collar bone where the Lion King tattoo was hidden under his shirt. Luka appreciated the sentiment. He continued his list on a lighter note. "With Simon came Holden, his son. Holden's just a few months younger than I am, we grew up together." "Holden's mom is not part of the pack?" "No. She never wanted to get married or have kids. Yet she married Simon and got pregnant with Holden. Weeks after his birth she handed Simon the infant and announced: I don't want to be a wife or a mother. Here's the child, I'll leave your life for good. He does not have to search for me, I want nothing to do with any of you. My lawyer will send you the documents where I signed my rights away and the divorce papers. Got her suitcase and left. From that moment on, mom and dad gave a hand to Simon. Holt and I basically grew up like brothers. He annoys Delaney the same way I do." Liam giggled. "Are younger siblings not something fun? I have a younger brother. He's ten but living at the lake." "Aw, they're so cute at that age. And then they start stating their own opinions and become brats." It was obvious Luka didn't mean a thing he said about his sister. They both began to laugh. "Holden's a great guy but he can be a hothead. Impulsive and very brash. Those are not his finest moments and we have to hold him back. But he's fiercely protective of the pack. Would do anything for us. Another one of my Betas is Sandro. Alessandro. My second in command. We met during freshmen orientation in college and clicked almost instantly. Have been inseparable ever since. When I brought him home the first time, mom looked at dad and said: Look, it's Luka in another body. Our parents often joked how they could each take the wrong son home and nobody would notice cause we're so similar. It's eerie. "

Their food came out and they interrupted their talk to thank the waiter and dig in before Luka resumed talking. "Sandro was human when we met but after a while, he noticed my family was hiding something. He confronted me and after consulting with my Alphas I came clean to him. Thank god cause when he was twenty-five, he go involved with a lone Alpha and said Alpha got a bit too excited in bed. Right before a full moon. Sandro showed up at our doorstep, bloodied and already on the verge of transforming. Dad took one look at him and dragged him to the basement where we keep a cage for those things.  I stayed with him the whole night and after that, it was more or less clear he would become part of the pack. Sandro helped me a lot after my parents' death. He took charge when I couldn't do it and held the pack together. That's why he became my second in command, just like Theo is for you." Luka drank from his water. "We have two other women in the pack. Bryn and Lynn. Laugh if you want, their rhyming names are a running joke in our pack. Bryn I know for almost her whole life. How fit are you in werewolf genetics?" Liam snorted. "That a thing? I'd give it a solid zero." "To keep it simple: The werewolf gene is dominant most of the time. Werewolf parents will have werewolf children. Even if only one parent is a wolf, the child likely will be one as well. The chances are even higher by born wolves rather than bitten ones. But if you have several generations of werewolves mixing with humans there is a slight possibility to have a human child even as werewolf parents. In Bryn's family case it was the opposite. There had been some wolves here and there, some of them had been in contact with my father's pack, but for generations, there were only humans. Until Bryn was born. Boom. Human parents with a werewolf baby." "You're kidding me!" Liam was amazed at how crazy nature could get. "Absolutely not. But her family knew about werewolves and so they knew the name of my father's pack. They grabbed their daughter and moved closer to us, showed up at our door, and kindly asked my parents to help them. To make having yet another child running around somewhat plausible, we started calling Bryn Delany's and my second cousin. We kept this til this day and mostly refer to her as our cousin. Lynn, on the other hand, was bitten after a night of clubbing and then left to die. Mom found her somewhere in the ditch and brought her home. We were not sure she would survive but that girl is tough as nails. Don't underestimate her." "She reminds me of Sadie. One should never underestimate Sadie as well. She will kick your ass and probably gnaw on your bones without ruining her makeup." "Somehow that description also fits Maddie and Savannah", Luka realized. Liam had to agree with that. "Anyway, you said you had seven Betas. One's missing." "The latest addition to the pack before my parents died. Will. He's Sandro's cousin, full-blood-related this time. They have been close while growing up and he visited one time. This family is good at picking up things and he got curious. We never got to explain to him everything cause a hostile pack attacked and he was wounded badly. Dad turned him in an attempt to save his life. It worked and Will moved to live with us. Funny enough, he and Holden clicked almost as instantly as Sandro and I did. They just balance each other a bit better. Hopefully. One's a hothead, the other is too cocky for his own good sometimes. I think the day these two linked, Simon's world kinda ended. He had several gray hairs more after that day. Lynn once kept a tally which one had to get bailed out of jail more often..." Luka tilted his head. "Huh, wondered what happened to that. I think I was the third place..." Liam smirked and Luka gave him an innocent smile. "I mean, we are all law-abiding citizens and never do anything wrong. We stick together and love each other, as a family should." "So do we. My pack and I. They're my family and I don't want to miss anyone of them." "Tell you what, Liam, why don't you and you pack visit us? We could have a BBQ party. Next Friday, is that good?" "That's a great idea. I'll check with the pack and text you."

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When I started this story, I imagined how many chapters this might will have and thought sixty was a good number. Now we are at chapter 60 and this story is far from over. I can't believe that. It's absolutely amazing and I want to thank every single one of my readers for the support. You all are amazing! Thank you!!!

In regards to this chapter, I like the friendship between Luka and Liam. They both are on the same wavelength and get each other. And it was fun working out Luka's Betas. In the next chapter, both packs will fully meet each other. I am excited.

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Nothing’s Normal | Cliff Steele x Reader (Request)

Request:  Hi can you do a imagine where the reader is the daughter of Bruce wayne and a meta and in a relationship with cliff Steele please and thank you

A/N: @rachelcarroll1819 Sorry it took me a while to get to this request because life and I keep forgetting to post it, so here it is. I know it’s supposed to be a simple imagine, but I got carried away because I love writing the dynamics between the Doom Patrol members. I hope this is what you asked for.

Warning: Doom Patrol-typical swearing, usual Doom Patrol shenanigans, some angst?, some fluff

Words: 3211 (lol idk what happened)

-

It had been almost a year since your adoptive father, Bruce Wayne, had sent you to regularly check up on Vic and the others at Doom Manor. He was made aware of this new team of metahumans through the young Cyborg and as Batman’s assistant, you were assigned to keep tabs on all of the Justice League members in case of emergencies.

One rule that he made sure you understood was that you’d go when Niles Caulder wasn’t around. You heard about that doctor and his work with the Bureau of Normalcy. Your father heard about them during one of his investigations into a series of missing persons cases, all showing signs of possessing some kind of power. Being aware of your own powers, you agreed with your father to stay away. That doesn’t mean you had to stay away with the Doom Patrol members, though.

You wiped your forehead as you finished fixing up their black painted bus. The team currently had the budget of a public high school in an expensive city, so there wasn’t much good material to work with, so you made as much adjustments as you could while giving room for some upgrades.

“Not exactly the Magic School Bus,” Cliff said, handing you a cloth to wipe your hands with.

“Well, Vic could always get some of that good juicy tech stuff from home so we could turn it into the Magic School Bus,” you said, raising an eyebrow at Cyborg.

Vic shrugged, stepping back to look at the small bus. “I think it looks fine. Maybe you could actually do more if you take off those gloves.”

You purse your lips and say nothing. He still doesn’t know the reason why you wore those gloves and you try your best to keep like that for as long as you could.

Rita walked over with Larry, placing her hands on her hips and sighed. “Are we looking at the same thing? It looks so dreary and… and… shabby,” she said.

“Hey, what’s wrong with my paint job, man?” Jane snapped.

Rita ignored her. “No one’s going to take us seriously as an actual superhero team.”

“No one takes us seriously anyways,” Larry pointed out.

“Yeah, but think of what (Y/n) could do with that cool tech, Vic,” Cliff exclaimed, grabbing Vic’s shoulder, “She worked on the fuckin’ Batmobile! I think after saving two towns and the world from the apocalypse, we deserve a Doom Mobile.”

Vic was slowly being swayed, agreeing that the team should have some kind of advanced mode of transportation instead of relying on Flit to emerge and teleport them to their destination. Vic rubbed his chin, then nodded.

“Yeah, I could try and-” He looked up to address you and Cliff when he realized that the two of you vanished, “Where did they go?”

They all shrugged.

“It’s not like they can fuck,” Jane said bluntly.

“Jane,” Rita scolded her. Jane rolled her eyes and made her way back to the manor. Rita looked over at Larry who shrugged.

“As long as they’re not getting into trouble, it’s none of our business,” he said before walking to his greenhouse.

Rita pouted, standing with only Vic to talk to. “I just want to know what my dear friends are up to, don’t you? Cliff seemed so… happy lately, hasn’t he?”

Vic nodded. “Yeah… you don’t think that Cliff… and… (Y/n)?” He frowned just thinking about it. How would that work?

Rita hummed. “Maybe we should… check if everything’s okay,” she said lamely.

“Yeah, maybe,” Vic said, getting curious. He knew you ever since he joined the Justice League and you didn’t seem the type to be in a relationship. Surely, you and Cliff were just friends.

-

“You think we could get the bus to go that fast?” you asked Cliff, nodding over to the TV in the corner of the Robotman’s room, playing a recording of an old NASCAR race. You leaned over the sketches of upgrades you’ve been meaning to add once you get the right tools and materials, your gloves tossed to the side.

“I mean the air resistance will be something that we have to compensate for,” Cliff said, “Race cars are slim as fuck, which is why they can flip the fuck out when we crash into each other.”

You wrote some notes down, then looked up at Cliff. “Why did you choose to be a racecar driver?”

Cliff shrugged. “I liked driving. I liked the rush. I liked the crowd. And I was really fuckin’ good at it, so I liked the winning, too.”

“At least you didn’t become an actor,” you teased, “Though you’d surely win a Raspberry award.”

“Hey!”

Cliff reached out to grab you on your sides. You shrieked, feeling the tips of his metal fingers nearing the most ticklish part of your body before you ran away. He chased you around the room, making you laugh as he bumped into the furniture when you’d dodge.

You ran out of breath from running and laughing too much, pausing for a moment, giving Cliff enough time to grab you. You huffed a laugh, gripping his metal arms and relishing in the cold touch as he carried you over to the couch and plopped you down.

Cliff was one of the very few people that you could touch without any gloves or clothing in the way. It wasn’t like skin, but at least you didn’t have to worry about your powers affecting him.

He looked down at you and sighed before sitting down. He held your hands and ran a metal thumb over them, having similar thoughts running through his head.

“I wish I could fuckin’ feel this,” he muttered, “You deserve someone who’s normal. Someone that can feel your skin, feel how soft your hair is, be able to kiss you, pop a fuckin’ boner. When you hug me, it’s just all bulky metal for you, and I can’t even feel how warm you are.”

You leaned against him and also sighed. “I could… I heard they’re developing these synths, they call it. Robots that look like humans with realistic hair, skin, everything. I could try and maybe look into it, if you want. If you’re comfortable with it,” you offered.

“What if it doesn’t work? Then you’re stuck with this,” Cliff gestured to his body.

You shook your head. “I just want you to be happy and I know how hard it is to not be able to touch anything. We can keep trying to find other ways, Cliff.”

“Even if I had my human body, just me, I still think you deserve better. I… I was a horrible person. I was a bad husband and a bad father. I’m learning from that and I feel myself getting better, but what if I relapse?”

There were so many things you wanted to tell him, that him having his human body back won’t change the fact that you still won’t be able to touch him, but you knew how hard it was for him to come to terms that all those human traits he had were gone. Everything except his brain.

“Your friends and I won’t let that happen to you,” you said firmly.

You ended up sleeping on Cliff’s lap after talking for a couple more hours. He carefully ran his metal fingers through your hair, mentally cursing when your hair almost got stuck in one of the joints. He slowly lifted you up and carried you over to one of the guest rooms next to his, setting you down on the bed and covered you with the duvet. He had the urge to kiss your forehead, but knew he couldn’t. When he turned to leave, Rita and Vic were standing there with knowing smirks. Cliff wanted to roll his eyes as he pushed past them.

-

“How long are you going to be gone this time?” Cliff whined as you packed up your duffel bag.

“Not sure,” you said, “but they said it was urgent, so Vic and I are both needed.”

“Can’t we come with you, go sightseeing around Gotham?” he asked, following you out of the room.

You snorted. “Not much to see around Gotham, unless you’re looking for criminal activities and corrupted cops.”

“Yeah, and Batman.”

“And dangerous criminals.”

“We defeated Mr. Nobody! We stopped the apocalypse!”

You sighed, stopping at the manor’s entrance. “Cliff, maybe next time. Right now I have to focus on the mission.”

“You ready?” Vic called out from the small plane that your father sent you.

You nodded, picking up your duffel bag. “I’ll call you,” you assured him.

Cliff nodded, his shoulders slumping. You beckoned for him to lean down and you pressed your forehead against his metal head, closing your eyes for a brief moment before pulling away. The chauffeur grabbed the bag from you as you climbed into the plane.

“So… why Cliff Steele?” Vic suddenly asked.

“How-”

“Rita and I saw you two.”

You leaned back in your seat and shrugged. “He makes me laugh.”

Vic nodded. “Fair enough, I guess.”

The two of you fell in silence for a moment. You picked at your gloves, before looking up at Vic. “But please don’t mention this to anyone, at all,” you pleaded, “No one has to know.”

“Alright, no problem, (Y/n/n).”

“Thank you.”

The rest of the flight was silent, with the both of you trying to get in touch with your respective fathers. Your father was reluctant to bring you into the mission, but your expertise and powers were needed for them to solve their investigation. You hated your powers and your father knew it, which is why he tried his best to avoid the situation from reaching that point, leaving you as the last resort.

“Half an hour until landing, miss Wayne,” one of the pilots announced.

“Thank you,” you called out, grabbing your duffel bag to change in the bathroom.

-

Cliff played with his mini racetrack for the hundredth time after standing around outside watching Jane paint and hanging around Larry in his greenhouse to understand why he loved watering plants so much. He tossed the remote control onto the couch and sighed. What is it that you do that you were needed on the mission? Every time he asked, you would shrug it off and say that you were a glorified secretary for the Justice League. Do they need paperwork to be filled out or some shit?

“And why are you telling me this?” Rita sighed as she brushed her hair in front of her large mirror, Cliff sitting on the floor behind her after unloading his thoughts onto her.

“You were the one that wanted to know about our relationship!” Cliff shouted.

“Okay, okay. Calm down, Cliff.” She set her brush down and turned in her seat. “So what is it that you want?”

“Uhhh.” Cliff tilted his head. “I feel like she’s hiding something from me.”

“Did you ask her?”

“What the fuck is she going to say? Yes, Cliff, I am hiding something from you. What is she going to say next, it was for my own good?”

“Cliff, we’ve known (Y/n) for a year. She doesn’t owe us everything about her life. I’m sure she has her reasons. She works for the Justice League for crying out loud. There’s a level of secrecy that she must have to keep as part of the job.”

Cliff groaned. “So we just wait, then?”

Rita gave a firm nod. “We will just wait.”

They sat there in silence. Cliff blinked, staring at the ceiling, then back at Rita. She shifted around in her seat, then cleared her throat.

“I never thought I’d be… itching to go and save the world,” she began, “I wonder what it’s like for the Justice League.”

“Don’t they usually battle some otherworldly being or each other?”

“I know, but I’m sure there was never a time where they were… self-conscious about going out there. They don’t have powers like we do, if you could call it that, where even the slightest of our emotions changing would affect us badly.”

Cliff waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m sure it’s the same for them, just in fancy costumes.”

Rita sighed, then nodded in resolution. “You know, Cliff, you’re right. Maybe we could-”

“Who the fuck are you?!” They suddenly heard Jane shout, followed by a loud crash.

“Where’s Niles Caulder?” A deep male voice bellowed.

Cliff and Rita exchanged a look before rushing out of the room towards the entrance. Rita’s eyes widened as she saw Batman storming through the door, pushing past Hammerhead, with (Y/n) trying to stop your father while Superman was trying to calm Hammerhead down.

“What the hell is going on here?” Larry jogged over as Vic rushed in towards the group. “Vic, what’s going on?”

Vic let out a frustrated sigh, glancing back at Batman, before turning back to his friends. “Our mission uncovered some things linked to Niles and not in a nice way,” he said, not sure how much of the classified mission he was allowed to share with the people who were also victims and complicated friends of said Niles Caulder.

“And why are they here?” Rita pressed.

“Let go of me, you fuckin’ Ken doll in stupid ugly overcompensating tights!” Hammerhead growled as Superman wrapped his arms around her, preventing her from pouncing on him or Batman.

“Where’s Niles Caulder?” Batman demanded, glaring at the group.

Larry looked at the others, not sure what to say. Rita shook her head while Cliff nodded. (Y/n) stood in front of him and growled in frustration.

“Not until you calm down!” you snapped.

“He did this to you,” your father hissed.

“He did it to all of us,” you said, gesturing to the group, “With reason. There’s no excusing the shit he did, but you have to hear everything out before you carry out your justice. You've taught me this before. Now. Sit. Down.”

He clenched his jaw, looking back at Superman, who disappeared. “Where did they go?”

They heard an explosion from the front yard, followed by Superman’s voice. You all looked at each other and groaned, “Oh, no.”

Cliff was the first one out the door, already approaching Flaming Katy. You rushed forward, but Vic held you back.

“Cliff’s done this before,” Larry assured you.

“Come on, Jane. They’re not worth it. Think about it, they’re here for Niles. Think they’d smack him around, just a little, after what he’s done?” Cliff called out to the flaming figure. “Baby Doll, I can make those peanut butter jelly sandwiches you like, without the crust and everything. I’ll even watch those shitty nineties rom-coms with you, Karen.”

The figure slowly lowered, the flames gradually extinguishing until Jane emerged again. She glared at Superman, then at Cliff.

“Fuckin’ prick,” Jane muttered, not aiming it to anyone in particular,  stomping back into the manor.

Cliff turned back to the others and gave a thumbs up. You sighed in relief, urging everyone to go back inside. As they filed back into the large living room, you lingered by the door until you and Cliff were the only ones in the parlor.

“Sorry about this,” you muttered.

Cliff shrugged. “Meh, I was actually talking about you anyways.” You raised an eyebrow, silently asking about what. Cliff shrugged again. “I just missed you.”

You gave a small smile. “I missed you, too.” You took off one glove and pressed your hand against his metal arm, letting the coolness seep into your skin.

You opened your mouth to speak, when you heard a familiar coughing. You pulled away, your cheeks heating up. Your father narrowed his eyes at Cliff before jerking his head over to the living room where everyone was sitting. You pressed your lips into a thin line and followed him in, Cliff trailing behind you.

Once everyone was seated, Rita cleared her throat. “So, let’s start from the beginning, shall we?” she said, taking charge in leading the conversation. “So, what was it that caused you to seek Niles Caulder out?”

Your father was still fuming in his seat, so Clark decided to speak. “We were following a trail of missing persons cases and stumbled upon an underground facility. The missing persons were subjected to countless experiments and many didn’t make it. From the files we found in their database, it was all initially headed by a Doctor Niles Caulder. The first few experiments had actually been cancelled, but a team continued to do so without his knowledge,” he said.

Everyone stared at him, entranced by his handsome face and his smooth voice. Clark looked around and frowned, wondering why they were looking at him weird.

“I’m sorry I tried to punch your sharp jaw,” Jane muttered.

“You would have been cut from it,” Larry told her.

Rita waved a hand to dismiss them. “You,” she pointed at your father, “Batman...  person, you said that Niles did this to (Y/n)? Our (Y/n)?”

You sighed. “I was a part of the initial trials until my- until Batman saved me,” you said.

“What did they do to you?” Larry asked.

You hesitated, looking around the room. You spotted a dying flower, a plant that Larry had given Cliff to practice taking care of. You carried it over and set the small pot on the coffee table. Your palms were sweaty as they hovered over the wilting petals before you slowly lowered your finger. With a single touch on a petal, the flower was slowly revived, all color flooding back to its vibrant petals.

“That’s pretty cool,” Cliff said.

You shook your head, touching the petal again. The life from the flower slowly drained away until it was curled up and dry.

“Oh.”

“I can bring a living being back to life with a single touch, but… touch them again and they’re dead. Forever,” you said. “I wasn’t sure how long I’ve been in that lab. Some of the early records were gone by the time I was rescued, but if the aim is similar to what he’s done to all of you… I may be older than I look.”

“Well, I’m glad that our age difference isn’t weird anymore,” Cliff commented. You gave him an exasperated look until you remembered that you were sitting next to your father, making you freeze. The rest of the Doom Patrol members turned to Cliff and glared at him. “What? You guys were dying to know, and now that we’re talking about it… I’m just saying, people should stop thinking our relationship is extremely weird-”

“You’re still a robot, Cliff,” Larry reminded.

“So this is Cliff?” Clark asked you, ignoring the bickering.

You nodded. “Yeah…”

“Wait, you knew?” Your father turned to Clark. You closed your eyes and sighed.

“Well, it came up in a conversation…,” Clark tried to defend.

“Don’t you think I have the right to know who my daughter’s involved with?” Your father hissed.

“Wait a fuckin’ minute!” Cliff said, looking at you, then back at Batman, who was still in costume, then back at you. “What the fuck? Daughter? (Y/n)... What the fuck?”