#tedmund beaton

[stabthemwithkindness]

Bonus Unkillable Town Perr:

Bitmoji upd8 for everyone’s favorite dead family

[stabthemwithkindness]

Elliot: He was always doing crazy things like this. Going out of his way to take care of us. I coughed once and he'd already gotten me soup. When I wanted to learn how to fight he knitted me a sweater. When I wanted to be in politics he knitted me a sweater with a podium on it. Who does that? It´s just the kind of person he is… he was.

[stabthemwithkindness]

Ted: Reese, please keep an eye on Perry today. She’s going to say something to the wrong person and get herself punched.

Reese: Sure, I’d love to see Perry get punched.

Maya: Try again.

Reese: I will stop Perry from getting punched.

Maya: Correct.

[stabthemwithkindness]

Maya: This cake is excellent, Dear. You're a great cook.

Ted: Actually, I bought it.

Maya: ...You're a great buyer of cakes!

[stabthemwithkindness]

Reese: Can you take me to get a dress?

Ted: Okay. First of all, I’m so glad you felt comfortable enough to come to me with that, and you know what? If this is something you want to explore–

Reese: Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for Mama, but you handled that very well.

[stabthemwithkindness]

Ted: Alright, well go have fun or what you kids call it nowadays 'Get Turnt'

Elliot: Papa no

Ted: The party's going to be 'Lit, fam'

Elliot: Please stop

[stabthemwithkindness]

Ted: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Perry: Can't I just smile because I feel like it?

Elliot: Reese tripped and fell in the parking lot.

[stabthemwithkindness]

Maya: Alright. We’ll figure this out. Ted, let’s go over our options.

Reese: Options? We have two. We’re screwed and we’re more screwed.

[stabthemwithkindness]

Ted: Did you eat all of the powdered donuts?

Perry: (mouth full of food) No...

Ted: Then what's that on your pants?

Perry: That's cocaine.