#technically not my top 5 but let's keep it to books everyone will know

[galvanizedfriend]

Thanks for the tag, friend! 💜 @purplesigebert

rules: list 5 of your favourite books on a poll, so your followers can vote which book they think captures your vibe the best

Tagging @definedareasofuncertainty, @amandakc, @rosedforbes, @misssophiachase and @sekretny.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 4 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Harrowhark

I'm pretty sure you've already got plenty of submissions for her so I'll just say she was raised in what is basically a cult (technically a nunnery but let's be real) dedicated to keeping the body of the thing that will kill God behind the rock. One of their prayers is actually "I pray the rock is never rolled away". Harrow is extremely devout as penance for her earlier heretical actions in the tomb as a child (spoiler!) so the Catholic guilt really comes through

imagine being a catholic nun and you meet god, but it turns out he’s a twitch streamer from new zealand who became god because everything got a little bit out of hand. and just before you met him you gave yourself a diy grief-fuelled lobotomy with the help of your best frenemy. imagine how insane you’d be. now multiply that insanity by nine. that’s the fictional love of my life right there.

she meets god. she’s not inspired

she’s number one practitioner of space Catholicism. The locked tomb is chock full of Christian (catholic) imagery themes metaphors etc. just look at her she’s got a bone rosary

They're Catholicism with extra bones. Everyone is a nun. They have what is basically a rosary made from knuckle bones. They technically worship the same God as everyone else, but they're waaaay more focused on The Body in the Tomb (Mary) and we get a moment where we find out that while everyone else prays the equivilent of The Lords Prayer, they're doing the equivilent of Hail Mary. And they paint their faces with skulls.

She thinks leaving dry bread in a drawer is taking care of someone. She's in love with a 10,000 year old corpse (the same one they worship). She spent ALL NIGHT digging with her bare hands to make sure a field had bones every 5 feet so she could fight her girlfriend - I mean, greatest enemy. Spoiler territory: She's been puppeting her parents corpses since she was 8 years old. Instead of grieving her dead girlfriend, she gives herself a lobotomy. She makes soup with bone in it so she can use the bone IN THEIR STOMACH to try and kill them.

The author is/was Catholic and the entire series had heavy Catholic overtones. https://www.tor.com/2020/08/19/gideon-the-ninth-young-pope-and-the-new-pope-are-building-a-queer-catholic-speculative-fiction-canon/ A good breakdown of how it's Catholic

Anti-propaganda (spoilers)

I love the Locked Tomb series but Harrowhark has daddy issues with God, had a childhood crush on God's cryogenic partner, and is in love with God's daughter, not to mention that she's essentially a bone-bender. The religion on her home planet exists in a way that is technically against the will of the canon in-universe God, even. All of this to say, Harrowhark is heretical at minimum if not an outright witch. Terrible Catholic. Burn her.

Ronan Lynch

Uhh fun fact he saw the devil flash his father once, and that's one of the reasons he goes to church on Sundays <3

context for this scene from book 2: ronan is in church with his older brother declan, younger brother matthew, and ghost friend noah "Joseph Kavinsky isn’t someone I want you being around,” Declan added. “Don’t snort. I’m serious.” Ronan merely invested a look with as much contempt as he could muster. A lady reached over the top of Noah to pat Matthew’s head fondly before continuing down the aisle. She didn’t seem to care that he was fifteen, which was all right, because he didn’t, either. Both Ronan and Declan observed this interaction with the pleased expressions of parents watching their prodigy at work. Declan repeated, “Like, actually dangerous.” Sometimes, Declan seemed to think that being a year older gave him special knowledge of the seedier side of Henrietta. What he meant was, did Ronan know that Kavinsky was a cokehead. In his ear, Noah whispered, “Is crack the same thing as speed?” Ronan didn’t answer. He didn’t think it was a very church-appropriate conversation. “I know you think you’re a punk,” Declan said. “But you aren’t nearly as bad ass as you think you are.” “Oh, go to hell,” Ronan snapped, just as the altar boys broached the rear doors. “Guys,” Matthew pleaded. “Be holy.”

Gay Catholic streetracing farmer. Consumed by catholic guilt NOT because of the gay thing but because he can Create things in a way he thinks should be only God's business. Will literally roll up to mass on sunday morning still drunk and bloody.

THIS GOTH KID IS LITERALLY GOD. This is a god trapped in the body of a Catholic teen and if he ever stopped feeling Catholic guilt he’d end the world!!. How is your confession every week that you creating a whole new being? Babygirl the God is coming from inside the house

eldritch entity from beyond the mortal plane wants to be a Real Human Boy, becomes a real (ish!) human (ish!) boy, goes to mass every sunday

Gay boy got his crush an apartment above his church so he could have his two favorite things in one place

gay. I'm not caught up the the series but I went through the tag when the latest book came out and I remember seeing a quote that said he worried if his boyfriend would make it to heaven when he dies because of his agnostic tendencies.

Kid is like a dream warlock who creates psychic horrors and never goes to confession because why would he? and he’s gay

There are no words

basically ronan's powers are inherited from his dead father niall and it means he can bring anything from a dream into real life. so he's got this whole crisis about whether he is a living piece of blasphemy because men are not meant to have the powers of gods or whether he literally is god. which is not acceptable to him for a number of reasons but mostly because he hates himself. his love interest's name is adam and adam lives in a small apartment above a church which the book says focuses the objects of his worship neatly into one building. I love them both dearly. also, this entire page makes me feel like I'm going insane. Ronan Lynch believed in heaven and hell. Once, he’d seen the devil. It had been a low, late morning at the Barns when the sun had burned off the mist and then burned off the chill and then burned the edges off the ground until everything shimmered with heat. It never got hot in those protected fields, but that morning, the air sweated with it. Ronan had never seen cattle pant before. All of the cows heaved and stuck their tongues out as they frothed with the heat. His mother sent Ronan to put them in the shade of the cattle barn. Ronan had gone to the searing metal gate, and as he did, he’d glimpsed his father, already in the barn. Four yards away from him had stood a red man. He was not truly red, but the burned orange of a fire ant. And he was not truly a man, because of the horns and the hooves. Ronan remembered the alienness of the creature, how real it had been. Every costume in the world had gotten it wrong; every drawing in every comic book. They’d all forgotten that the devil was an animal. Looking at the red man, Ronan had been struck by the intricacy of the body, how many miraculous pieces moved smoothly in harmony, no different than his own. Niall Lynch had had a gun in hand — the Lynches had an enormous number of guns of all sizes — and just as Ronan had opened the gate, his father had shot the thing about thirteen times in the head. With a shake of its horns, the unharmed devil had presented its genitalia to Niall Lynch before bounding off. It was an image that had yet to leave Ronan. And so Ronan became a reverse evangelist. The truth burst and grew inside him, and it was laid upon him to share it with no one. No one was meant to see hell before they get there. No one should have to live with the devil. So many homilies on faith were ruined once you no longer required it for belief.

Our boy CHOOSES not to receive the Eucharist because he doesn’t believe he is worthy. The spiritual insight, the devotion, the fact that this teenager is worried he may have a mortal sin weighing on his soul…this boy isn’t just going through the motions, he’s putting work into this.

[hollymbryan]

Blog Tour: Top 5 Reasons to Read DON’T ASK IF I’M OKAY by Jessica Kara!

Welcome to Book-Keeping and my stop on the TBR and Beyond Tours blog tour for Don’t Ask if I’m Okay by Jessica Kara! I’ve got all the details on this gorgeous contemporary book below, along with my top 5 reasons to read this one, so let’s go!

About the Book

title: Don’t Ask if I’m Okay author: Jessica Kara publisher: Page Street Kids release date: 16 May 2023

Heartfelt and bittersweet, this coming-of age story explores the tender space of healing where grief meets love

A year ago, Gage survived a car accident that killed his best friend, Hunter. Without the person who always brought out the best in him, Gage doesn’t know who he is. He likes working as a fry cook and loves his small-town friends and family, but they weren’t in the wreck and he can’t tell them how much he’s still hurting. He just wants to forget all his pain and move on.

So when his stepdad shows him a dream job opening in one of his idol’s restaurants, Gage knows this is his chance to convince everyone and himself that he’s fine. To try to push past his grief once and for all, Gage applies for the job, asks out a crush, and volunteers to host a memorial for Hunter.

But the more Gage tries to ignore his grief, the more volatile it becomes.

When his temper finally turns on the people he loves, Gage must decide what real strength is—holding in his grief until it destroys him, or asking for help and revealing his broken heart for all to see.

Content Warning: Loss of friend, PTSD, toxic masculinity

Add to Goodreads: Don’t Ask if I’m Okay Purchase the Book: Amazon | B&N | Bookshop.org

About the Author

Jessica Kara is a professional author and artist. With a BFA in technical theatre, she worked as a stage manager for eight years in regional theatres and on several national tours. Eventually she left the business to focus on writing, which has always called. She has served as President of her local writing organization, Authors of the Flathead, and is a member of the Society for Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators. She frequently speaks at local conferences, schools, and college classes, striving to inspire a new generation of writers to pursue their passions.

Jess has indie-published a young adult fantasy series featuring gryfon characters, and is excited to now dive into the pool of contemporary young adult fiction. She currently resides in northwest Montana with her husband, spends her time staring at the mountains, drinking a lot of coffee, dreaming up things and people, and chirping back at birds.

Her stories, whether fantastic or contemporary, are “noblebright” at their core, woven with a spirit of determined hope, belief in the power of kindness, and the faith that good will overcome.

Connect with Jessica: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Goodreads | Facebook

Top 5 Reasons to Read

Every once in a while a book comes along that you didn’t realize you needed in your life, and had no idea how much it would affect you, until you read it. In 2021, that book for me was What Beauty There Is by Cory Anderson, and this year it is absolutely THIS BOOK. Here are my top 5 reasons to read Don’t Ask if I’m Okay:

1. It’s the most honest, unflinching, tender exploration of grief I’ve read in a long time. 

2. It’s also an honest and unflinching look at toxic masculinity, how it can mess up our young boys, and how hard they must fight to escape it.

3. It has quite possibly the single best portrayal of a father figure (stepdad) that I’ve read in any YA novel, ever. Seriously, Jack -- I adore you with my whole heart.

4. It’s such a beautiful portrayal of teen friendship, especially between teen boys, and a recognition of how hard it can be for them to lean on each other, even when friends are there to catch them (which holds true for adults, as well!).

5. It’s a book that will rip your heart out, leaving you sobbing and snotty at midnight, and then patch it back together, leaving you smiling through your tears at 1:00 a.m. (this may or may not reflect my actual experience, lol).

I don’t want to say much more so as to avoid spoilers, but I will say this: I lost my sister to domestic violence 15 years ago this past January, and I STLL struggle with grief. Jessica Kara’s portrayal of grief as a circular progression from dark to light and back to dark again (ad infinitum) is so incredibly accurate that I was vigorously nodding along as I read. When Gage says that death isn’t a one-time loss but rather a new loss every time you wake up in the morning, every time something good happens and you want to run and tell the person who’s no longer with you, only to remember they’re gone...ugh. I was pregnant with my first and only child when my sister was killed, and I distinctly remember the day I walked in the house after work and he kicked for the first time and my first thought was, “oh my god, I have to call Krissy!” -- only to remember that wasn’t possible and that she would never know her nephew. 

I say all this to say, this book GETS IT. Ms. Kara GETS GRIEF. If you have a family member or friend struggling with grief and you don’t know what that’s like, read this book. If you are struggling with grief and you want some help healing or some validation that your own feelings are normal, READ THIS BOOK. I cannot recommend this highly enough, I’m honored to have read it, and it will go down as The Special Book of 2023 for me. I hope you’ll pick this one up, and please do let me know your thoughts. And if you ever want to talk about grief, or depression, or pain, or whatever, please know my DMs are open. “Lone wolves die alone.”

RATING: 5 stars! (I know this is not technically a review, but I couldn’t leave this off!)

**Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of this blog tour.

Check out the Bookstagram tour too! You can find my post here, and the full schedule is here.

[visionitrent]

In today’s fast-paced digital world, having access to a reliable laptop isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Whether you’re a startup entrepreneur, a remote employee, a student, or a freelancer, the right laptop can make all the difference in your productivity. But buying a high-end device isn’t always practical or affordable. That’s where Vision It Rent steps in, offering top-quality laptops on rent in Ghansoli at unbeatable prices.

Why Renting a Laptop in Ghansoli Makes Sense

Laptop on rent in Ghansoli, Ghansoli is fast becoming a hotspot for IT professionals, startups, and educational institutes in Navi Mumbai. With tech parks, coworking spaces, and colleges emerging around every corner, the demand for cost-effective, flexible computing solutions has skyrocketed.

Here’s why renting a laptop in Ghansoli is becoming the go-to solution:

1. Cost-Effective Alternative to Buying

Let’s face it—laptops with high processing power and updated specs can cost a fortune. Renting from Vision It Rent allows you to access the latest models without the heavy upfront investment. It's perfect for short-term projects, events, or bootcamps.

2. Latest Technology, Always

When you buy a laptop, it starts depreciating the moment you open the box. But when you rent, you can upgrade easily. At Vision It Rent, we keep our inventory updated with the latest models and configurations—so you always work on the best tech available.

3. Hassle-Free Maintenance & Support

What if your laptop crashes in the middle of a deadline? With our rental services, you’re never alone. We offer quick replacements, technical support, and regular maintenance so that your work doesn’t stop—even if your system does.

4. Perfect for Businesses & Startups

Startups often face unpredictable growth. Renting laptops gives you the flexibility to scale up or down without tying up capital. Whether you need 1 laptop or 50, Vision It Rent in Ghansoli can deliver customized rental plans suited to your team's size and duration.

5. Flexible Tenure Plans

Not everyone needs a laptop for the same duration. We offer daily, weekly, monthly, and even yearly plans. Whether it’s a two-day seminar or a year-long remote job, you only pay for what you use.

Who Can Benefit from Laptop Rentals in Ghansoli?

Renting isn’t just for big businesses. Here’s a list of people who can benefit from our laptop rental services:

• Students Preparing for Competitive Exams or Online Classes

Why invest in an expensive laptop for a few semesters when you can rent one at a fraction of the cost?

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Organizing a training workshop or seminar? Rent laptops for all your participants—pre-installed with required software.

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Temporarily working in Ghansoli? Don’t carry heavy tech around—rent instead.

Why Choose Vision It Rent in Ghansoli?

Here’s what sets us apart from other laptop rental providers:

Quality Assurance

Every laptop is thoroughly tested, cleaned, and formatted before delivery. You get a device that’s as good as new.

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We deliver across Ghansoli and nearby areas—often within 24 hours of booking. Pickup is just as easy.

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Need a basic i3 laptop? Or a high-performance i7 with SSD and graphic capabilities? We’ve got it all.

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Need MS Office, Photoshop, coding environments, or any specific software? Just let us know—we’ll pre-install it.

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We rented 20 laptops for a 3-day training session, and the delivery, setup, and support were flawless. Great service! — Rahul Mehta, HR Manager

Final Thoughts: Renting is the Future

In a city like Ghansoli that thrives on tech and growth, agility is everything. Laptop on rent in Ghansoli, Vision It Rent is proud to support students, professionals, and businesses with high-quality, affordable laptop rental services.

So the next time you need a reliable laptop—whether for work, learning, or a personal project—don’t buy, rent smart. Get in touch with Vision It Rent, your trusted laptop rental partner in Ghansoli.

[queenofcthulu]

So I just went through 52 audiobooks in 2023 so let's see what recommendations I can provide. The first few are going to be historical dramas and kind of sad and filled with trauma because I started reading the books at the top of The Most Controversial Books lists BUT their narrators were phenomenal.

This is a very long list, I hope you find something you like from it. Good luck!

1. The audiobook for Bluest Eye is read by Toni Morisson (the author) and she delivers it beautifully. I'm convinced authors who are brave enough or picky enough to narrate their own books are built different and it shows.

2. Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston was a beautiful story of a woman and her journey of love in the 1800s(?) and Ruby Dee does a pheonomal job as the narrator.

3. The Color Purple by Alice Walker, another love story but with a queer twist, roughly in the same time period. She narrated it herself, and my god she does the widest range of accents for a while I was convinced that there was more than one narrator in this book. Or that was Ruby Dee? You'll have to excuse me my memory is very poor and the books were just similar enough that I get them mixed up.

So with my top three best suggestions out of the way I can offer more variety. If you have questions or looking for "similar to" books just let me know. These are listed in the order I read them, I'd recommend any of these but it depends on what the reader's style is to determine if it's a good recommendation.

4. Lolita by Vladimir Nobakov, read by Jeremy Irons (pedophilia is a very difficult subject to read about and it's representation in this is controversial already and Jeremy Irons is very good at narrating it's almost scary, so take caution definitely not for everyone)

5. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier, read by Frank Muller (slice of catholic school life, coming of age, I found it fun and the narrator was very convincing when a character was talking on the phone while eating a sandwich and that tickled me)

6. The Once and Future Witches by Alix Harrow, read by Gabra Zack an (fantasy, story about three sisters I read cuz I thought it mirrored my family, it was a decent story but I'm not a fan of fantasy much but you might be)

7. Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, read by himself (it's about a kid and his father and the trauma of the history of Afghanistan and his childhood friend and it's very good, but very sad, so read it if you have the emotional space for it cuz it certainly drained me)

8. The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride, read by Dominic Hoffman (it's technically a period drama but it feels less grounded in realism than the rest, that didn't stop it from being a damn good story)

9. The Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao, read by Rong Fu (if you like fantasy and you liked Pacific Rim then this is the book for you, the sequel just came out and I plan on reading it also. I'm American and while I have issues remembering names in general, I did struggle more to keep all the characters separate because the characters are based on historical Chinese figures, most notably the only female Chinese Emperor but I mixed up the names constantly so I had to go back and read it twice which I didn't mind)

10. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, read by Betty Harris (I didn't particularly like this narrator but the story was good enough to read despite it. It's 1984 but better. I haven't seen the Amazon show yet but heard it was good. This book on its own is a bit of a heavy book, but it's made worse by the parallelisms to modern political climates intentionally and expertly done by the author because she based it on true news headlines form the 1970s(?) so it was good but genuinely shook me to the core)

11. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Niel Gaiman, read by himself (it was whimsical and reminded me a bit of Wrinkle In Time in a way, would probably make a good movie, I didn't particularly enjoy it but I needed some not serious books on this list...)

12. Underground: The Tokyo Gas Attack and the Japanese Psyche by Haruki Murakami, read by Feodor Chin, Ian Anthony Dale and Janet Song (Welp back to the serious stuff...if you like documentaries I would recommend this book. It's an oral history which means it's less about the facts and more about the opinions and experiences of people, it's direct interviews with victims, it taught me a lot and was done well. My only regret is not knowing Japanese because the English version only translated half the interviews and I'd have happily listened to more.)

13. Babel by R. F. Kuang, read by Chris Lew Kum Hoi and Billie Fulford-Brown (period fantasy, language magic, I enjoyed it but wanted it to be more educational lol but that's just me, I do recommend it)

Uhhh I'm running out of energy to recall descriptions or comments for all these books so I'm just gonna go rapid fire on these and you'll have to figure them out yourself.

14. The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen

15. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

16. The Book Theif by Markus Zusak

17. The Rose Code by Kate Quinn

18. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

19. The Women by Kristin Hannah

20. The Light Between Oceans by M. L. Stedman

And finally, some books that do not have audiobooks (either because they were unavailable to me or the book is formatted in a way that reading it doesn't make sense, or would defeat the purpose of the formatting) but I would encourage anyone to read someday.

21. Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes

22. Piranesi by Susanna Clark

23. Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote (I read this with rose colored glasses because I love Audrey Hepburn so take this with a grain of salt)

any more audiobook recommendations ppplllleeaaassseeee 😖😖🥺

[mediaevalmusereads]

A Dangerous Business. By Jane Smiley. Knopf, 2022.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction, mystery

Series: N/A

Summary: Monterey, 1851. Ever since her husband was killed in a bar fight, Eliza Ripple has been working in a brothel. It seems like a better life, at least at first. The madam, Mrs. Parks, is kind, the men are (relatively) well behaved, and Eliza has attained what few women have: financial security. But when the dead bodies of young women start appearing outside of town, a darkness descends that she can’t resist confronting. Side by side with her friend Jean, and inspired by her reading, especially by Edgar Allan Poe’s detective Dupin, Eliza pieces together an array of clues to try to catch the killer, all the while juggling clients who begin to seem more and more suspicious.

Eliza and Jean are determined not just to survive, but to find their way in a lawless town on the fringes of the Wild West—a bewitching combination of beauty and danger—as what will become the Civil War looms on the horizon. As Mrs. Parks says, “Everyone knows that this is a dangerous business, but between you and me, being a woman is a dangerous business, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise …”

***Full review below.***

Content Warnings: sexual content (including underage sex), spousal abuse, gore

Overview: I saw this book on a list of best historical fiction, and the premise seemed intriguing, so I picked it up. A duo of lady inspectors? Inspired by Edgar Allen Poe? Solving crimes in 1850s California? Sign me up! Unfortunately, I quickly found that it was nearly impossible to connect with the characters of this book, and even worse, I couldn't get invested in the plot. The reason had everything to do with Smiley's prose. I constantly felt like I was being held at arm's length and being told instead of shown everything in the narrative. On top of all that, I found Smiley's word choice to be too simple for my tastes and her syntax a bit awkward, so for those reasons, this book only gets 2 stars from me.

Writing: As I said above, Smiley's prose style did not resonate with me. Part of the reason was because Smiley was more interested in telling instead of showing, and another was that a lot of the character's thoughts and feelings were so mediated that I felt kept at arm's length. Smiley had the tendency to tell the reader point blank what characters were thinking and feeling ("Eliza was sad"), which meant that I didn't feel trusted to put things together on my own. Smiley also seemed to like using phrases like "Eliza thought that..." or "Eliza sae that..." Combined, these techniques gave me the impression that I was reading something almost middle grade or YA, but the story is very much for adults.

Moreover, there were some technical things about Smiley's prose that just didn't feel very well done. For one thing, Smiley uses a lot of very simple, basic descriptions - things like "her skin was dry" or "the body was wrinkled." There was little done to evoke an emotional response; everything was matter-of-fact and overly simplistic. Unfortunately, this also meant there was no mood, suspense, or anything else to keep me invested in the story.

Lastly, the simplistic word choice also meant that a lot of dialogue felt stiff. Whenever characters would converse, something didn't quite feel natural, and moreover, I never got the sense that Smiley was building any sort of emotional intimacy (not even between Eliza and Jean). As a result, it was incredibly difficult to feel invested in character relationships.

Plot: The plot of this book follows Eliza Ripple, a twenty-something year old prostitute who works to solve a series of murders in Monterey, CA in the 1850s.

What I appreciated about this plot was the way Smiley didn't demonize sex work. Eliza and her friend Jean (a fellow prostitute) seem very happy as sex workers, and it allows them an independence that they didn't have before. Eliza in particular finds it very liberating after being subject to abuse from her late husband, and I appreciated that her madam, Mrs. Parks, was supportive and didn't force them to take clients they didn't want.

That being said, there wasn't much else about the plot to get me hooked. There isn't a sense of urgency or suspense when Eliza is investigating the murders, which means that they don't feel very consequential or have much effect on Eliza's life (other than being a curiosity). Indeed, more time is spent showcasing Eliza's day to day life than her investigation, so the murders themselves didn't instill in me a sense of dread or make me feel Eliza was in any danger.

Moreover, the way Eliza goes about solving the mystery isn't exactly clever, which meant that I felt like Smiley was creating a mystery for younger readers. Eliza seems to go after "clues" that don't make much sense and she has little justification for doing so (for example, she sees a man hitting his wife so she decides to look for his footprints - why? What about him possibly connects him to the victims, especially when spousal abuse is common in this world?).

Lastly, I kept feeling like Smiley was trying to make some kind of commentary, either about being a woman or about slavery, but both topics were handled so simplistically that the effort didn't quite feel genuine. Characters talk about being women or about the morality of slavery, but the plot doesn't quite explore any of these topics (so, for example, the murders could be a commentary on misogyny in sex work, but Smiley doesn't really look too far into that). This also made a lot of the book feel YA or middle grade, since the message was so simple and without nuance.

Characters: Eliza, our protagonist, is sympathetic in that she is the victim of spousal abuse, but other than that, it was difficult to feel connected to her. Because of the prose style, I didn't feel like I was being invited to experience the world along with Eliza, but instead, I was being told about it and with very little emotional effect. On top of that, Eliza didn't strike me as particularly intelligent or clever, so I didn't quite understand why she was the one to solve the mystery of the Monterey murders. It wasn't even justified by saying her job makes her more "street smart," so to speak. Instead, she felt rather naive and depended on her friend, Jean, to navigate the world.

TL;DR: A Dangerous Business suffers greatly from an abundance of telling over showing, a poorly constructed mystery, and a not very bright protagonist. Though I appreciated that sex work was respected and that the novel tried to say something about women and slavery, none of the themes ultimately landed because the novel felt simply constructed, as if for a much younger audience.

Jean, Eliza's friend, is a little more interesting because she has the courage and agency to go after "clues" herself. Jean claims to be able to see ghosts and is incredibly curious about the murders to the point where she pursues leads on her own. Compared to Eliza, who goes to places to look for footprints for no reason, Jean has motivations that feel a bit more logical, and I think I would have much preffered a story where Jean was the Sherlock to Eliza's Watson.

Secondary characters were ok. I found the variety of Eliza's clients to be somewhat interesting, but Smiley didn't seem to be interested in using that variety to make a grander point or integrate it into a thematic aspect of the novel. Mrs. Parks, the madam, was fine, if a little boring. It's hard to really say whether or not any secondary character is well done because the prose and the plot are so simplistic that the characters feel listless.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

End of the line for Reaganomics

Reagan turned the country upside-down, in a very bad way. The “Reagan revolution” was indeed revolutionary (or, rather, counter-revolutionary), reversing a half-century of progress on social safety nets, workers’ rights, and environmental protections.

When we take stock of the Reagan years, we tend to focus on the actions that had immediate effect, like dismantling labor protections or the racist, homophobic refusal to confront the AIDS pandemic.

But for my money, the most profound act of the Reagan revolution was a slow-burner that has quietly chugged along for four decades, profoundly reshaping American society and the world. It’s a wonky, technical change, largely overlooked in our political discourse.

That change? The “consumer welfare” theory of antitrust enforcement.

Prior to Reagan, US antitrust enforcers relied upon a theory of “harmful dominance,” cracking down on monopolies when their scale allowed them to hurt workers, or the environment, or suppliers.

Harmful dominance is the theory that unaccountable power is dangerous — that giving corporate leaders control over the market lets them pervert the political process and inflict harms on the rest of us in ways that are hard to detect and even harder to prevent.

That principle created a policy that was designed to keep companies weaker than the democratically accountable state, rather than allowing them to grow so large that the could capture their regulators and start to write their own regulations.

Reagan nuked “harmful dominance,” replacing it with radical theories from one of Nixon’s top crooks, Robert Bork, whose book THE ANTITRUST PARADOX advances a conspiracy theory about US antitrust — that the framers of these laws never meant to protect us from monopoly at all.

Bork said that a the true purpose of antitrust law was — and always had been — “consumer welfare.” He said that so long as a monopoly didn’t use its market power to raise prices, that was fine -even if its scale let it screw workers, or suppliers, or whole communities.

This was a profound shift, because under “consumer welfare,” companies were allowed to grow big through sleazy, previously prohibited maneuvers like buying up or merging with all the competition, or creating vertical systems that boxed in their customers from all sides.

“Consumer welfare” had deep-pocketed corporate backers, who spread Bork’s conspiracy theory far and wide. For example, the Manne Seminars — summer “continuing education” junkets in Florida for judges — re-reeducated 40% of the US federal bench on Bork’s theories.

These seminars, along with decades of dark-money endowed economics chairs and think-tank activism changed the theory of competition regulation around the world — even in the EU, where the law explicitly rejects consumer welfareism, but lawmakers behave as if it embraced it.

Consumer welfare was bipartisan, embraced by every administration, R or D, since Reagan (in general Dems became more Reaganite over this period, culminating at the 2016 DNC where candidates vied to declare themselves Reagan’s true heir).

https://crookedtimber.org/2016/07/30/philadelphia-stories-from-reagan-to-trump-to-the-dnc/

The result: a world where between 1–5 companies dominate nearly every industry, from pharma to eyeglasses, finance to accounting, shipping to hotels, health to mobile OSes — movies, music, books, telecoms, hospitals, pro wrestling, and on and on.

https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers

These companies don’t need to compete for workers or customers, and therefore extract vast sums for their shareholders. Some of that money is retained to buy off their regulators, allowing them to grow more powerful still.

Not only that, but these concentrated companies are able to arrive at a common bargaining position and wield it against the world’s democratic legislatures — when everyone who runs an industry can fit around a single table and hammer out an agreement, they often do.

Most of this happened so slowly that we didn’t realize it was happening at all, but not with tech. Tech is an industry that grew up with Reagan (literally, the Apple ][+ was born the same year as the Reagan presidential bid), and it was monopoly’s coalmine canary.

In a single generation, tech’s exuberant dynamism — where yesterday’s giants could be toppled by today’s spunky garage startups — turned into a calcified monoculture, “five giant websites filled with screenshots of text from the other four.”

https://twitter.com/tveastman/status/1069674780826071040

After 40 years of dominance, consumer welfare is dying. Biden’s July 9 “Executive Order on Promoting Competition in the American Economy” is a terrifyingly technical, 72-point program for dismantling consumer welfare and reviving harmful dominance.

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/07/09/executive-order-on-promoting-competition-in-the-american-economy/

The Biden admin clearly consulted with public interest groups for these technical directives, people who are right at the coalface of the way that monopolies are destroying lives, who know exactly which levers to pull to shut it down.

This is especially true in tech, as I write in my latest piece for EFF’s Deeplinks blog: “Party Like It’s 1979: The OG Antitrust Is Back, Baby!”

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

And because personnel are policy, I also discuss the revolution in anttitrust leadship that accompanied the executive order: Lina Khan running the FTC, Tim Wu in charge of White House tech competition, and Jonathan Kanter running antitrust for the DoJ.

“We are living through a profound shift in what kinds of companies are allowed to exist and what they’re allowed to do. It’s a shift for the better. We know nothing is assured. The future won’t fix itself. But this is an opportunity, and we’re delighted to seize it.”

[scuttling]

Lean on Me

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Gender Neutral Reader Word Count: 4,717 Tags: SFW, Fluff, 5+1 Trope, Obliviousness, Mutual pining, Aaron Hotchner deserves good things, Canon typical injury Summary: Five times you want to kiss the frown off of your boss's face, and one time you actually do it. *Requested by Anon. Link to AO3 or read below! “It doesn’t make sense.”

You stick a tack in a photo of a murdered woman—unfortunately one of many you’ve stuck to this board—and turn to face Hotch, who is looking over your handiwork with a quizzical expression.

“What doesn’t?” He takes a few steps closer, crosses his arms in front of him.

“Why would the unsub leave his comfort zone? The first six abductions occurred within five miles of the college, so why did the seventh and eighth happen almost twelve miles away?” He reaches for the board, traces his finger along the circle Reid had colored in on the map. “We profiled that he’s disorganized and far from confident, so why would he do that?”

He looks over at you, frowns, and not for the first time your gaze is drawn to the little crease between his eyebrows that always forms when he is puzzled, worried, confused, stressed, or otherwise unhappy. In short, it’s there kind of all of the time.

For the first time, though, you think of how easy it would be to lean over, press your lips there, smooth it out, and maybe even get him to smile for a change. He has a great smile, when he lets people see it.

You shake the daydream, rewind back to the question he asked, and wrinkle your nose in thought.

“Maybe his circumstances changed? It's summer now, and there are still classes, but students aren’t living in the dorms. Maybe he moved back home or got an apartment off campus that’s within that area—or a job.” He sighs, runs a hand over the back of his head, nods.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. That’s good. I’ll mention it to the others.” He pulls out his phone, and you grab another photo, another thumbtack, but something stops you and you lay a gentle hand on his arm.

“You don’t have to think of everything, you know. That’s why you have us.” He exhales, his shoulders losing a little of their tension, and that forehead wrinkle gets a little less deep.

“Sometimes I forget that not everything needs to be done the hard way. Or by me.”

“What? You, Aaron Hotchner, doing things the hard way?” you tease, and you are gifted a glimpse of his rare, unfiltered smile.

“Okay, enough pointing out my flaws,” he says with a raised eyebrow, though he’s still smiling, and as he looks down to type out a text, you remember to pull back your hand.

“I would never.” He looks up from his phone at that—maybe at the conviction in your voice, which you hadn’t exactly intended—and his expression softens further.

“I know you wouldn’t.” You hold eye contact for a moment, and then turn to finish preparing the board, pinning up another photo of another woman and reminding yourself that they need you to focus on the task at hand. Two weeks later, you knock on Hotch’s office door, a stack of completed consults in your hand. He looks up, that familiar notch in between his brows, a scowl on his face; when he sees that it’s you, he tones it down a little.

“Draw the short straw?” he asks, and you figure that’s because everyone knows he is in a bad mood and they’ve been avoiding this office all day. You shrug.

“It was rock, paper, scissors, but yes.” He huffs a short laugh, and you smile, step toward his desk. “Anything I can do to lighten the load?”

“Technically you’re adding to it,” he says with a glance at the files in your hand, and you set them on one of the chairs with a purposefully loud thump and then take the other seat.

“Technically. But technically, you only need to review my consults; I can review theirs. Right?” He mulls it over a moment, like the thought never crossed his mind—of course Aaron I have to do everything myself Hotchner would never suggest such a thing, even as the team sits in the bullpen with nothing to do, seeing who can throw M&Ms into Spencer’s mouth from the furthest distance.

“Technically,” he agrees, and you pluck a pen out of his pen cup and take the first file off the pile, open it in front of yourself, careful not to cut into the workspace he’s occupying. You both smile softly down at your work, and you actively do not think about that wrinkle between his eyebrows.

About an hour later, he reaches for his mug out of habit but finds it empty; you stand, take it in your hand, and he makes a noise of protest.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” you say, and you walk toward the door. “I need some too. I’ll be right back.”

You pass through the bullpen—apparently the M&M contest led to a sugar crash, because Spencer is laying with his head on his desk—and grab your cup off your desk, take both to the break room to fill them.

Derek appears next to you as you’re stirring your sugar in.

“Coffee date with the boss?” he asks with a curious expression, and you shake your head.

“Of course not. I’m helping him with the overwhelming amount of paperwork on his desk so his mood improves, instead of just ignoring him.” You raise an eyebrow in challenge, and Derek scratches the back of his head.

“Never thought of that,” he admits, and you pat him on the arm and take your coffees back upstairs.

Hotch looks up at you as you set his mug down, says a soft thank you, and you grab the pile of files you brought up, separate them, and head back downstairs.

“You review mine,” you say to Derek, handing him a stack, “Emily take Spencer’s, Spencer take Derek’s, I’ll take Emily’s.” They look at you like they have no idea what to say, and you just smile, tap the top of Spencer’s head with a folder. “I’ll come back down and grab them in a little bit.”

“Yes, boss,” Emily says, and you grin on your way back upstairs. Hotch is standing when you arrive this time, looking out the window over the bullpen.

“What did you do?” he asks, turning to you, frowning again. You’re so close that kissing that wrinkle would be effortless. All you’d have to do is lean in.

You smile.

“I delegated, Hotch. You should try it some time.” You put your hands on his arms and guide him back to his desk. “Now what can I help you with?”

By the end of the day, his desk is clean and his bad mood is long gone. He closes the last of his files, sighs deeply, covers your hand with one of his, and says thank you.

The next morning when you come in, there is a steaming latte and a cookie on your desk, and you can’t stop smiling the rest of the day. Your next case is draining, children abducted and left for dead, and everyone is on edge, but no one more than Hotch. You’re fairly certain his face hasn’t relaxed since the initial briefing, and he’d be a prime candidate for the old ‘your face will get stuck like that’ joke, if anyone was up to joking.

The team catches the unsub, saves one child, but not until after three are dead; you take a late flight home because no one wants to stay another night in a town it feels like you’ve failed, and everyone curls up to get some rest except you and Hotch.

You try to read the book you brought along—a science fiction dystopian novel, something to get you out of your head and away from real life problems—but you’re a little distracted by Hotch’s sighing. It’s become an every-five-minutes thing, and while you’re definitely on board with sighing as a way to decompress, he’s not decompressing. He looks like he’s in pain mentally, exhausted physically; you’re not sure how everyone else was able to ignore it and go to sleep, but then you figure everyone else may not be as in tune with him as you are. As observant.

As in love.

Not that that matters: you know your issues, and some of his issues, and there’s the whole superior/subordinate thing which doesn’t really do anything for you except give you a stomach ache. It would never work out, even if he somehow, miraculously, were to love you back—and that’s a pretty big if in and of itself.

But still, you notice him, can’t help it, and the sighing is getting to be a little much. You sigh yourself, put your finger in between the pages of your book, and walk over to take the seat next to him; he looks over at you, frowning just like always, and you carefully close his file and set it aside.

Neither of you say anything to the other, just look each other over for a moment, and then you lean lightly against his shoulder and flip back to the beginning of your book.

“I still dream of the island. I sometimes approach it across water, but more often through air, like a bird, with a great wind under my wings. The shores rise rain-coloured on the horizon of sleep, and in their quiet circle the buildings: the houses grown along the canals, the workshops of inkmasters, the low-ceilinged taverns.”

You keep your voice low and soothing, and you are just turning to page fifteen when you feel the weight of his head drop onto your shoulder.

The crease between his eyes melts away in sleep.

You read until you make it home, and you wake him up with a gentle nudge before the rest of the team drifts back to consciousness. He looks at you, blinks slowly like he’s trying to remember where he is, and then gets a little sheepish when he puts two and two together, realizes he fell asleep on your shoulder.

You just shake your head, give his arm a squeeze, and head back to your seat to gather your things. You, Hotch, and Emily are catching the elevator to the parking garage—after staying two hours later to work on some rush consults straight from Strauss—when he looks at something on his phone that makes him groan aloud. You and Emily share a look, and you ask what’s wrong.

“I just remembered I’m supposed to have a treat for Jack to take to school tomorrow and it’s, what, seven thirty?”

“So just stop at the supermarket on your way home; no one can tell the difference anyway,” Emily says, but you and Hotch both shoot her a skeptical glance.

“It’s all about the treats at a school like Jack’s,” you supply, and Hotch looks over at you like he’s surprised by your comment. “If they’re not homemade, the parents talk. Plus there’s probably an allergen list a mile long: no nuts, no eggs, no soy, no dairy. You have to pick him up from Haley’s tonight, right?” You’re pretty sure, but when he nods he confirms it. “So pick him up, go home and get some dinner, put him to bed, and I’ll text you when I’m on my way over with the goods. I have a great recipe for vegan apple cinnamon muffins that will go over really well.”

“You really don’t have to do that; I’ll figure something out,” he says, but you just shake your head and pull up the recipe on your phone.

“Forget it, it’s already done. I have everything I need at home already; let me help,” you murmur softly, and when he looks at you with the furrowed brow that comes with accepting kindness from someone else, you almost forget it’s not just the two of you in the elevator. It’s only when Emily clears her throat that the eye contact breaks. He nods.

“Okay. Thank you; I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” The elevator dings and it stops at the parking garage; the three of you get off and head in separate directions for your cars. “I’ll text you.”

“Goodnight,” Emily says with a grin, and you wave at her, hop into your car, and head for home.

About two hours later, you show up at Hotch’s door with two dozen apple cinnamon muffins, and unbleached, whole wheat flour in your hair, and he has coffee brewing, a smile on his face.

“You don’t know how grateful I am,” he says as he ushers you into the kitchen, takes the boxes of muffins from your hands, and pours you a cup of dark, delicious coffee. You sip it slowly, savoring the taste—you should have known he’d have incredible coffee—even though it’s far too late for you to be indulging. Unless you’re working a case, you usually switch to decaf by three.

“I know you are. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think you’d appreciate the gesture.” You lean forward, open a box, and pull out two muffins, handing one to him. “I made a couple extra so we could taste test; if I accidentally put salt in instead of sugar, you’re on your own,” you joke, and you wait for him to taste it before taking your own bite.

“That’s delicious. There’s really nothing unapproved in here?” he asks, and you shake your head.

“Nope, it’s all healthy and allergen free, except for the flour, but that wasn’t on the list you sent.” He reaches a hand toward you, and you don’t realize, at first, that he’s brushing the flour out of your hair.

“Messy baker,” he teases, and your heart feels really full, being in his kitchen like this, warm muffins and fresh coffee, even if your hair is a mess. You smile, and he smiles back before dropping into that serious expression, eyebrow wrinkle and all. You think about brushing your lips there tonight, but this feels like two steps forward, and you don’t want to risk taking that step back. “Next time I’ll help you.”

“Oh, next time? You plan on needing my baking expertise again? Fair warning, this is the only recipe I know, so I hope you like apple cinnamon muffins.” You take a sip of your coffee, look up at him, and he takes another bite, nods his head.

“I do. Especially these.”

In a perfect world, what comes next would be a cinnamony, coffee flavored kiss, but the world’s not perfect, and you yawn instead. You look down at your mug like it’s betrayed you, and Hotch chuckles low.

“It’s decaf. I know you usually stop in the afternoon; I wouldn’t forgive myself if you were up all night because of me.” You have always been a person who falls in love with all the little details about someone, so the fact that he’s noticed this, remembers this, makes your heart beat a little faster. “I should let you go. You’ve done so much today, between staying late and baking for Jack—for me. You need to get some sleep.”

He’s right, it’s nearly ten, and you should be getting back home, but this is a moment you never want to end.

You just nod, though, and he reaches out to brush his hand over your back when he walks you to the door.

“Thank you again. I really appreciate that you did this for me,” he says, soft, like he still can’t imagine you would.

“You’re welcome, Hotch. Any time, really; I’m happy to help.”

You get home, clean your kitchen, and have a very late dinner, and the smell of good coffee and apples and cinnamon is still in your nose when you drift to sleep. “You didn’t hear what he said,” Hotch snaps almost a month later, with one hand splayed on his hip and the other on the table in front of him. The moment you saw him engaged in an argument with a member of the Sheriff’s department, fire in his eyes, you’d grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into a small conference room, shutting the door behind you. It took almost three minutes of staring at each other for him to say something instead of just glaring at you for interrupting the pissing contest.

“I don’t need to know what he said. I know you, and I know you handle people like that with a quick, sharp remark and then you wash your hands of it. You don’t argue back and forth, you don’t draw it out. You would have regretted it if you did that today, so I stopped you.”

“You think you know me so well, do you?” he asks in an unkind tone of voice you can’t identify, haven’t heard from him before; the expression on his face is familiar, though, a scowl that only puts emphasis on his handsome features—it’s unfair, really.

You exhale, cross your arms.

“Yes, and I know you well enough to know you’re irritated with him, not me, so cut the shit.”

It’s the first time you’ve ever been quite that direct with him, and certainly the first time you’ve ever sworn at him; your immediate instinct is to apologize, but he surprises you by huffing a laugh. The angry lines of his face smooth into something softer.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. He just—I can’t stand people like that.” He scrubs a hand through his hair in irritation. “We’re here to work—to do a job they couldn’t finish on their own. Not to be… objectified.” He mutters the last word, so low you almost don’t hear it, and then there’s a knock at the door. Derek enters.

“Sheriff wants a word, Hotch; do you have a sec?” With one last look at you, he nods, brushes past him to leave the room. Derek gives you the barest hint of a smile. “He was defending your honor, you know.”

You frown. You didn’t know.

“That jerk was talking about me?” you ask, clarifying, and he nods.

“Something about assuming you’re an athlete because he likes your ass. Set the boss man off.” You walk over to him and leave the room together, heading back to your workspace.

“Well Hotch is right, we’re here to work, not to be objectified. I can see how he would get angry.” Derek shoots you a flat, questioning glance.

“You think he’d be getting that worked up if it was my ass that guy was talking about? Or Emily’s?” The two of you stop outside the conference room, and you cross your arms, lean against the doorframe, frown.

“So what are you trying to say? That he sees me as being weak, thinks he needs to defend me? I'm as capable as either of you.” That may not be strictly true, because you’re a little more brains than brawn, like Spencer in that way, but you can hold your own and you thought Hotch knew that.

Derek just laughs, shakes his head, and ducks into the room. You follow, so confused.

“I thought you were just playing it close to the vest, but you’re oblivious, aren’t you?”

“Oblivious about what?” Emily asks, pen between her teeth, feet kicked up onto a chair, and you shrug.

“I’m still not sure. Hotch got into an argument with a deputy about me, and I asked Derek if Hotch thinks I’m weak and that’s why he felt like he had to defend me.” She smiles broadly around the pen, pulls it out of her mouth with a grin.

“Oh, honey. That’s not it. You know that’s not it, right?”

“I clearly don’t know what’s going on at all, so no, if you’d care to enlighten me,” you say, sinking into an empty chair. “I hate it when you guys are cryptic.” You love your team, but they have a habit of doing this all the time, saying things to each other with their eyes, or just a few words that don’t have any sensible meaning that you know of. It’s like they live to talk over your head, to say things without actually saying them.

“Okay. Hotch has a thing for you,” Emily says simply, and you blink.

Well that’s the very last thing you’d expected to hear.

“He absolutely does not.” You look at Derek, who’s making a face like you’re the one being crazy; you laugh out loud, can’t help it. “He does not. I’m pretty sure Hotch doesn’t have things, and if he did, he wouldn’t have a thing for me.”

“Why not? Because that would be too convenient, since you have a thing for him too?” Derek asks, taking the seat across from you, and you grab the nearest case file, flip it open and focus your attention on it.

“I care about him, the same way I care about all of you, and he maybe needs a little more care—but you guys are reading into things.”

Thankfully, you don’t have to say anything more, because Hotch, JJ, and Spencer return, and you all have a lead to work.

You can’t help but wonder if you’re being obvious about your feelings, though, especially later, when you get back to the hotel and the group decides to have a drink at the bar.

JJ and Emily hit the pool table while Derek and Spencer head up for drinks, and you are left sitting with Hotch at the table, pressed together in the inside corner of a booth.

“Tired?” you ask him, because he does look worn out, his tie a bit loose, his eyes a little red. You know he doesn’t get much sleep when you travel, and you can’t imagine he’ll go to bed even when this little detour is over.

“Always,” he sighs, but when he looks over at you, he smiles, just a little. “Just can’t wait to get out of this town.”

“Yeah, it gives Southern hospitality a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?” The people you’ve interviewed today are, on paper, quite respectable, but there’s a Desperate Housewives, ‘everyone is sleeping with someone else's spouse’ kind of thing going on, and it’s honestly exhausting. To your surprise, Hotch laughs.

“It really does. I don’t think I’ve ever missed the quiet solitude of my apartment quite this much.” You lean back against the vinyl of the booth, sigh.

“I miss my apartment, but it’s been too quiet lately. I prefer the sounds of someone else sharing space with me: the coffee maker percolating, the news in the background, the shower running, the sound of flipping the pages of a book or magazine.” You look down at your hands, because you’re getting a little more emotional than you usually let other people see. “Sorry. I’m not typically this open about being…”

You trail off, but Hotch looks over at you, concerned, the wrinkle between his eyebrows even more noticeable when you’re sitting this close. You think, just briefly, of running your thumb over it, but with your luck, Derek or Emily would see, and you’d never live it down.

“Lonely?” he finishes softly, and when you nod your head, he covers your hands with one of his own, bumps his shoulder against yours. “I get lonely too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” You look up at him, feeling a little vulnerable, and his expression softens. “When we get back, maybe you could come over for dinner some night. Nothing fancy,” he clarifies, and you smile, “just two lonely people being a little less lonely.”

“That would be really nice.” You can see Derek and Spencer approaching out of the corner of your eye, and Hotch must too, because he removes his hand, slips back into the slight, persistent frown you have come to know and love. Derek looks at you, raises an eyebrow, and hands you your beer. You try to tell him to shut up with your face, plan to follow up later to see if that actually worked. “We have an agent down on the second floor,” Spencer says into his comms, and you immediately want to slap him in the back of the head.

“Don’t say agent down, kid; I’m like, slightly wounded at best.” You hold a hand against the stab wound on your side—the unsub honestly just grazed you, and you’d knocked him out with a single punch, which made you feel pretty awesome—and reach out the other so he can help pull you to your feet. Your hand comes up to your own walkie button. “I’m not down, I’m fine—just slightly stabbed,” you add, and Spencer is getting his cuffs on the unsub when Hotch and JJ burst through the doors.

Well, Hotch bursts. JJ follows behind looking strangely winded for one of the most naturally athletic people you know.

“What happened? Are you alright?” he asks, and you lift your shirt to show him the sluggishly bleeding gash.

“I’m fine, see? It’s not even deep. Spencer saw blood and got a little ahead of himself.” You turn to Spencer, who sticks out his tongue, then back to Hotch, who looks haunted and pale, with that goddamn wrinkle between his eyebrows again. He’s bent down, looking over your wound seriously—you’ve had worse, so much worse, that you don’t understand why he’s so worried about it—and then he leans up, presses a hand to your cheek, and pulls you close for a soft, tender kiss.

If this were a movie, right about now a camera would be panning around you in a circle, as you wrap your free hand around his neck, pull him closer, melt against his body like it’s all you’ve been dreaming of for months, and the two of you would break apart smiling, maybe even kiss again.

It’s not a movie, though, so you just bleed out against your hand and freeze, because Hotch is kissing you at a crime scene and you almost got filleted, so you’re not sure if this is a you got hurt, so I’d better kiss you kiss or an I’ve been wanting to kiss you forever, and you got hurt so I have to kiss you kiss.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both breathing a bit heavily, and you don’t know what to do, so you just lean in and press your lips to that wrinkle between his eyebrows that you’ve been thinking about so frequently since the first time you noticed it. You brush a hand through his hair, and when you pull back, he’s smiling.

“What was that?” He covers your hand on your side with his own and helps get you toward the elevator so you can be patched up by the EMTs; JJ and Spencer are left staring, open-mouthed in your wake, with an unconscious unsub at their feet, but neither of you are concerned about that.

“I’ve been thinking of doing that for months now: to kiss that spot between your eyes so you’ll stop frowning for a change. Since I couldn’t, I decided to find other ways to help you stop frowning so much. It kind of became my life’s mission.” He sighs, puts his arm around you and holds you close while you wait for the elevator to bring you to the ground floor.

“I stop frowning when you’re around because you’re around, not just because of the things you do for me,” he tells you, and he presses his lips to yours for another warm, soft, perfect kiss. “I’ve been thinking of doing that for months now.” You tilt your head, make a sound of contemplation, and he chuckles softly. “What is it?”

“I think those cryptic idiots we work with might be onto something,” you say with a grin, and when the elevator lets you off and Hotch helps you toward the ambulance to be patched up, Derek and Emily are waiting with concerned looks on their faces. They must be pretty confused to see you’re grinning from ear to ear. “Hey, you guys were right; Hotch does have a thing for me!” you call as you walk past them, and when your wound is properly dressed and wrapped, you put your arms around his neck and let him kiss you until the frown and accompanying wrinkle are nothing but distant memories.

*The novel excerpt is from The Weaver by Emmi Itäranta.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed

[gendermuddledenby]

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OK LISTEN JUST FUCKING LISTEN OK I HAVE QUALIFIERS; COMPLEX AND NUANCED REASONS WHICH EXPLAIN EVERYTHING OK THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME A GIRL LET ME ELABORATE ON THESE

OK so left to right starting from the top:

1. I shave my LEG hair and ONLY my leg hair, nothing else!

2. I'm only nervous around cis men - specifically during combat practice - who are taller and just so overtly bigger than me I can't help feeling overwhelmed and helpless facing them...😥😳 but I'm sure smaller cis men feel that way too!

3. 😳...I...I'm not the only one shy or into this or into being humiliated!😖

4.😳 I...I...I don't know why I feel like that...😥😳 b-b-but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation!😳

5. I only circled this because other people would consider them feminine. I don't. They're enbymasc when I do them. 😑

6. 😖....I can't help my biological clock trying to follow its instincts ok! That's not my fault!😖

7. Ok so same as for the hobbies, this is up to individual interpretation! Also no perfume, only soap!

8. I have a pussy and it's evolved to feel good to penetrate, idk what to tell you. 😑

9. IT'S JUST THE FABRIC. 😳😳😳😳 The fabric feels nice! It's not because they're dresses that I like wearing them and I only recently tried putting one on to find out the fabric swishing feels nice! I'm not going to start wearing them all the time...😒

10. COMPARATIVELY OK? COMPARATIVELY to SOME... well ok to most men but it's still comparatively and I only thought of that because it was very clearly a read that between the lines type of question. 😑

11. Men are hot. I don't need to defend this. Gay men agree with me and they're not girls for it. 😑

12. ....😖😖😖😖😥😥😥😥😳😳😳😳I... w-well... like answer 4 I'm sure there's an explanation for it that isn't that I'm a girl...😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖

13. Ok this is a foul in my book. There's already a submissive on here! They put submissive twice! FOUL I SAY! I WANT A DO-OVER!

14. Ok LISTEN I was being called that my entire life, OBVIOUSLY I'm going to slip up occasionally... even though I literally live in my skull... 😖 NO. No it's a normal mistake to make, screw you. 😑

15. I can't afford top surgery and... and the nipples feel soooo good 🤤 and if I got surgery they'd lose that delicious sensitivity... 😞 and they feel so nice and soft to touch... it's like the dresses ok! I won't keep them forever...😒

16. Hey I don't need to have the centre of my pleasure removed when I like how it feels to be fucked into the mattress through it! That's a valid reason, ok????😳😳😳😳

17. 😰😰😰😰I... it's... I just...😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😳😳😳😳 ....I-I-I-I'll come back to this one. 😑

18. YEAH WHAT OF IT???? It feels amazing!!!!😠

19. Same as above. 😑

20. ...😖I'm not a girl just because I look like one to everyone else...😖

21. Ok so this one is complicated because I'm not detransitioning - the Detrans Notes Game I have running is just for fun and totally not something I'm going to succumb to slowly over the entire year uh uh no way not happening I can absolutely ride it out because I'm a real enby so I have absolutely nothing to worry about - but since this is Fakeboy Bingo I know they usually mean people transitioning all the way to men and I'm not so that's why I circled it. It's a technicality, ok? 😑

Thus ends my presentation. NOT A GIRL. Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk. 🙂‍↔️😌

😧😰😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😳😳😳😳

Fakeboy Bingo!

inspired by @fixingfakeboys2 and @donna-fatale

I based this one on myself so here's my answers lol, kind of embarrassing how easy it was to come up with 25 criteria that all fit me

[cocochannel00]

The Azoff Family: A Case Study on one of the Music Industry’s Most Connected Families

(ft. a breakdown of the Grammy voting process and problems)

This is very long so I will try and split it up into categories for everyone (sorry I got carried away- I spent like 2 hours writing this) but enjoy!

*Disclaimer: I want to preface while the majority of this is based in research, some parts may be speculation. I don’t know the family personally so I can’t tell you what goes on behind closed doors but I can tell you how parts of the entertainment/music industry work. I’ve had 5 internships in the industry (one in marketing at one of the big record labels) and the rest of my work is publicity (what I enjoy) and events and a former advisor used to run in the same circles as Irving Azoff (and he spilled some tea last year) I’m not out here to diminish the hard work of any artists or their teams, I’m simply here to showcase parts of the industry that aren’t always shown.*

Please also see: Story Time: How Fan Pages Directly Impact Columbia Records Decisions and Harry Styles Image

IRVING AZOFF: NEVER STOP THE GRIND

Let’s begin with the great business man himself Mr. Irving Azoff Irving Azoff is the literal posture child for connections and power in the music industry (he was also inducted into the 2020 rock and roll hall of fame class which is like a huge fucking deal for a manager to be inducted so you know he's the real deal)

In conclusion, I love Irving Azoff and his drive.

Irving Azoff: Early Years Run Down:

He came up middle class (dad was a pharmacist, mom a bookkeeper) in Danville, Illinois

He dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and managed local acts in the era

Opportunity came knocking and he got the chance to manage the Eagles and the rest is history

He's one of the best negotiators and has negotiated business on behalf of stars like Stevie Nicks, the Eagles, and Jimmy Buffet

Azoff has been an incredible manager and his drive to always advocate for his clients while basically not giving two sh*ts about what people think of him has gotten him the incredible reputation he has today.

All of Irving Azoff’s Major Job Positions:

Former President MCA (major label)

Former CEO of Ticketmaster and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation.

In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment (Currently still CEO)

----> Azoff also ran the Forum in Inglewood under Azoff MSG Entertainment after MSG purchased it in 2012 (it was sold in 2020 to the owner of the Clippers) — why do you think Harry played the forum for the Fine Line show? Azoff connection

Azoff MSG Entertainment encompasses all of the other companies including Full Stop Management, Global Music Rights (performance-rights org), and the Oak View Group (arena developing company)

He also is the co-founder and manager of the lobbying group Music Artists Coalition, a group that helps lobby for artists-rights issues such as royalty rates, copyright issue and healthcare insurance (see he's not all bad)

Essentially what I'm getting at is this man knows anybody who's anybody. He's the man you want on your team to help promote your music, plan your tour, and get you on that Grammy nom list.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

JEFFREY AZOFF: THE CHILD OF NEPOTISM

So for those of you that don't know, Jeffery Azoff is Harry's current manager and the son of Irving Azoff (the third of four kids). He's currently a partner at Full Stop Management, the company owned by Irving and the one artists such as Harry, Haim, the Eagles, Kings of Leon, and Meghan Trainer are signed to.

Jeffrey graduated from the University of Colorado's Leeds School of Business and started working fresh out of college at his father's old Management company (Frontline Management) working under Maroon 5's manager Jordan Feldstein (the only way you get that kind of internship/job as a 21 year old fresh out of college is if your family or family friends gives it to you). He worked here for 5 years.

Direct Quote from Irving Azoff to Jeffrey (really tells you a lot): "Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son."

After working for his father, Jeffrey moved on to the talent agency CAA (Creative Artist Agency) where he worked for roughly 3 and half years before joining his dad in forming Full Stop Management in 2016.

While he was at CAA, Irving moved over clients like Christina Aguilera and the Eagles to the talent agency to help with tour booking instead of doing it internally through LiveNation (he was CEO).

Even though I'm sure Jeff has had to work somewhat hard to get to where he is (or at least to mess up his dad's work as he doesn't seem like the type to take laziness well), the door into the industry and every job was basically handed to him on a silver platter.

Not to mention if you watch episodes of keeping up with the  kardashians (like myself) you can actually see Jeff hanging out with kendall and the rest of the fam at their Palm Springs house (you know you're a nepotism kid if you have an in with the Kardashian crew). Invite me next time Jeffrey!!!

Think of the Azoff's as the mafia family of the music industry, you don't mess with the mafia

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THE GRAMMY AWARDS: STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS ON STEROIDS

Ok so here's where we’re going to get into a bit more of the speculation/grey area. I don't need to tell you that award shows are corrupt (See the Golden Globes Emily in Paris scandal) and the Grammys are not an exception. Think of the Grammys as one big student council/government elections where despite the fact the teachers tell you six times to vote for the best candidate, you're still going to vote for your friends even if they aren't the best.

A simplified break-down of Grammy voting:

1) Recording Academy voting members (artists, producers, musicians- anyone involved first hand with the creation of music; All voting members must have been producers, performers or engineers on six or more tracks of a commercially released album (or 12 or more digital tracks) and record labels will submit nominations in various categories to the grammys (songs need to be released commercially between October 1 of the previous year and September 30th of this year). You can also become a voting member by either winning a grammy or being endorsed by a current voting member (hint hint)

2) Once received, the recording academy with have the academy of trustees and its reviewers organize them and approve any changes to the 30 categories/fields (aka they can add new categories or remove old ones; so no best ukulele album of the year -- this is where things get funky)

There's speculation that during this stage when these special groups of 8-10 people are organizing genres, there's an "unwritten rule" that you need to be careful what album you green light (especially for famous artists) if you don't want them to win) (Rob Kenner said this- he used to be on one of these committees). Famous people tend to get more votes from clueless or lay Academy members that don't know the specialized categories or don't care enough to listen to songs that aren't radio trending.

3) After the nominations occur, Voting members begin their first voting. Members can vote for the four general categories of record of the year, album of the year, song of the year and best new artist and a maximum of 15 categories, all within their areas of expertise. Now the interesting thing is that while these are the guidelines there is literally nothing stopping them from voting in whatever categories they want (i.g. a rapper voting in the opera category despite not listening to opera). Theses ballots are all tallied and the top 20 entries are determined in each category (funky moment #2)

In 12 of the 84 categories those top 20 go to the ballot and it's done; for the rest it’s not like that. 59 categories including the big four go to a "nomination review committees" (identities are protected so they can't get lobbied... sure) who take a look at the top 20 and narrow it down to 7 or 8. (these are the special committees the Weekend talked about when he was snubbed). They're supposed to choose the nominees "based solely on the artistic and technical merits of the eligible recordings" which lets be real if that was the case Watermelon Sugar (along with most of the others in the category) I don't think would have been nomimated as they are very generic pop (none of them are special... sorry to the WM lovers out there).

This committee is basically held to THE HONOR CODE SYSTEM... I mean tell me when the last time the honor code system worked in literally any scenario (literally wtf). Don't take my word for it though the former CEO of the Academy Deborah Dugan (a queen) filed a complaint against the Recording Academy basically claiming that the nomination review process was rigged (she was fired after 5 months on the job).

Quote from Deborah Dugan "Members of the board [of trustees] and the secret committees chose artists with whom they have personal or business relationships... It is not unusual for artists who have relationships with Board members and who ranked at the bottom of the initial 20-artist list to end up receiving nominations."

These review committees can also exploit there power by adding up to two nominees that don't appear on the top 20 list to the final voting ballot (except in the 4 big categories - which watermelon sugar that one wasn't nominated for)

They also have craft committees for like non performance stuff (like album notes, engineering and arranging) that don't even get voted on by the academy voting members

4) After all of that fucked up mess, the grammy's decided is ok, the ballots go back to the voting members for the final vote. Deloitte (an accounting firm) then counts all of them, seals them in envelopes, and delivers them to the Grammy award show.

** The Grammy's just announced this year they're removing the "secret committees" so let's see how things shift in the next couple of years**

So obviously I'm not saying this to discredit Harry's nomination or his win as Fine Line was in the US top 20 albums for the majority of 2020, however, we must acknowledge privilege. Harry has a big name to him and a huge following, and while all of that shouldn't be taken into account, it does. He also has the Azoffs, a very well connected family with friends in lots of places that would be able to put in a good word here and there to get support behind Harry. Harry won best pop solo performance for Watermelon Sugar in a category with Doja Cat, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, and Dua Lipa. Look at the names there, the songs (ya'll can try and remember them cause I'm too lazy to write it out) and tell me that those top names with all of the music produced didn't get there through some connections.

Do with all this information what you will and if you are interested in learning more about the entertainment industry on your own Endeavor (owners of WME, a big talent agency like CAA) is hosting a free online program called the Excellence Program to help guide the future generation of industry executives. The program is a-synchronous and starts on July 12th. Highly recommend giving it a go if you're interested!!!

Alright ya'll that's it. Feel free to message me with your thoughts!

Extra Sources if you'd like to read:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkdndn/how-grammys-voting-actually-works-and-where-the-alleged-corruption-lies

https://www.grammy.com/grammys/awards/voting-process

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2020-11-05/irving-azoff-eagles-manager

https://celebrityaccess.com/caarchive/jeffrey-azoff-exits-caa-to-launch-new-management-company/

https://www.rollingstone.com/pro/features/grammy-awards-secret-committees-945532/

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grammy-awards-eliminate-secret-committees-voting-changes-1163887/

[moinsbienquekaworu]

yooooo Star Wars ocs?? *grabby hands* share. infodump. how much swag do they have on a scale from 1-10

Pigeon I love you I am kissing you right now (platonically but enthusiastically)

Okay so the main guys that keep occupying my brain are Korcha and her lineage, Reil, Devafe and Lineth. You've seen my drawings of them I think? Korcha's the spider lady, Reil is her first apprentice with the long hair, Devafe her second apprentice, she's the one with the cool art where she's doing lightsaber training, and Lineth is a wet little cat girl (affectionate)

First off, they all have swag by virtue of being Jedi, I don't think you can manage to be under a like 3-4 in swag when you're proficient at using cool laser swords and space magic. That said, among other Jedi, Korcha is swag enough but not exceedingly, maybe a 5 or a 6 depending on who you ask? She's got wild anecdotes, by the Clone Wars era she's in her 70s and you don't get to that point as a Jedi without cool life skills, plus she's pretty good at Jar'kai (using two lightsabers simultaneously), and that's really cool, but she's nerfed by the importance she puts on Rules and The Correct Thing To Do, which makes her a more reasonable person and therefore less likely to do absurd but cool stuff.

Reil is on the list of swagest people in the Temple because by the Clone Wars he's been a crèchemaster for like 15 years and that means a lot of the younger Jedi know him and like him. He's good at his job he's patient and he lets the kids play with paint and that means if there were contests like you see in fics for various title among the Jedi Order he would be in the top contender for Coolest Crèchemaster or something. Like that cool counselor people like, or the teacher everyone wants to have in class. A solid like 8/10 at least

I'm not subjective on Devafe because I project onto her accidentally her vibe is Dooku but to the left, since they've got similar fighting styles and that's linked to who she is as a person, and Makashi simply is The swagest form out of the seven (or like, Vaapad, we love Mace here) So automatically she gets points for that because who doesn't love someone who fights in a focussed, neat and precise, fencing-like style with cool laser swords, even when they prefer reading books? Nobody. She's cool. She doesn't go below a 7 and I'm not being nice here purely because she was a bit of an annoying teenager (like Korcha btw lol, like master like apprentice sometimes)

Lineth is - I want to be nice to her because she deserves it, and she gets a pity point for staying alive the whole war, a feat not all Jedi could accomplish, and certainly not all Padawans. Ahsoka makes it, of course, but Ahsoka is Special and Cooler Than Everyone Else, and Lineth is just there trying not to break down more than once a week. That's still like a 5 though, but it's not her fault she doesn't get to develop fully as a person because there's a war on :( In the alternate world where everything is okay and the war ends she gets more confident and she's swager though don't worry about her

Other SW OCs are Cehim, who makes maps and lives alone in her spaceship and is part of a group of artists and has multiple QPPs and is a bit like a space version of Meredith but different, she's super cool I love her, 9/10 at least; and the clone commanders under Devafe and Korcha & Lineth during the war. Devafe's commander, Jellyfish, picked his name because he likes jellyfish, and that immediately gives him a 8/10 on the swag scale, plus he talks shit with Devafe sometimes and that's extremely fun to me. Korcha & Lineth's commander (or technically captain but he kind of fills the role of commander since Lineth is a baby) is called Stellar and he's wonderful, dare I say he does a stellar job, you get the idea, he was the first (but not the last) to see Lineth and think oh, that's a baby, she needs a friend not someone who'll obey her orders, as opposed to Korcha who during the war wanted competent officers first and then people she could have tea with second, though she very much wanted both, and for that he's also swag, maybe a 7/10. What do you want, all of them except Cehim and Reil fought in a war, that makes you swag just by virtue of The Horrors <3

[yisanged]

not a vent really. maybe sort of technically i've just had something to be annoyed about in like every class today at school. kill. and i was complaining and it just got really long you know me

uuughhhhhh i only did sort of alright on my english quiz and i probably bombed my math test i ran out of time and had to stay like 5 minutes after the next period started to finish it and while i was trying to get out there was some tall asshole standing in the middle of the aisle that was my only point of exit because our desks are pushed together into columns in that class and there was a cluster of people by the teacher's desk on the other side so i tried to get past him and accidentally pushed him a little and he turned around and was like hey you almost just knocked me over you could at least say excuse me all bitchy shut the fuck up you were all but yelling to your friend no way you would've heard me and you were the one blocking the only way out in the first place also i did say sorry you just didn't hear me cause again you were being loud and obnoxious. and during health some lady came in to tell us not to smoke but she decided to stand directly behind my desk for like half the presentation so everyone was looking towards me and she kept talking about "penis cancer" with that phrasing specifically and saying that cigarettes maim and kill you which is such strange wording. maim? and i kept giggling which was embarrassing cause everyone was looking. and during band i had to stay behind cause i had to practice playing my solo and ensemble piece with the piano accompaniment but i had to like carry all my stuff over to the next room and the bell rang just then and the director made a big deal of not letting anybody out until i got out but i had to like grab my reeds and put my bocal in the top and then get a good grip on my four foot long instrument that will fall apart if you grab it wrong and also i forgot to put my reed water back in the case so i still have it with me right now. also we need to play a chromatic scale for the judges at solo and ensemble but i fucking can't do that. i can go from low f to high d which is just shy of two octaves but that's iffy as is i keep fumbling two notes specifically so i don't know if i can extend it to a proper two octaves by the actual event which is saturday TWO fucking days from now at 10:50 am gross. and gym is just bad always and the asshole blocking my way is in my gym class awkward ew. and my bag strap is broken and keeps falling apart because it's cheap as hell and i need a new one but don't really want to buy one but it's stressful carrying it around at all because the school has a really strict no backpacks during class policy and our principal is pissy about it even though none of the teachers care and technically any bag big enough to carry all your books in are banned which includes mine but it's so stupid i don't have time to go all the way across the school to get my bag then get to where my bus is and the buses leave five minutes after the last bell rings on the dot and my dad works everyday but thursday now and can't pick me up if i miss it and it's kind of far to walk and especially to snowy to walk lately and uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. sometimes i don't feel real when i'm at school i think back on my day and it feels like that that happened to another person that isn't me. i feel like that's a symptom of a problem but whateverrrrrr whatever. i'm functional so not like it matters at all

[starwinxie]

Career Tracks (Sims 2 BACC Rules)

Aside from running businesses, your sims can also join a typical job (in fact, I encourage it as it will bring in some money for the town more quickly). However, each career track has certain limitations and you will need to achieve certain goals in order to unlock them. There are also some career levels that will only be available to ONE sim at a time. (Example: Having more than one Mayor in the Politics career in the same town wouldn't make much sense.) The positions that can only be taken by one sim at a time are in bold italics. I use Cyjon's Job Stopinator to prevent sims from earning promotions, even if they're qualified. The way the mod works is you put the Job Stopinator item in the sim's individual inventory to prevent promotions. When you unlock a new career level or a position opens up, you can remove the Job Stopinator from their inventory to allow promotions again.

I also recommend the Edukashun Iz Gud mod which makes it so your sims can only reach certain job levels if they earned a degree from University and got good grades in high school. It adds some nice realism! However, your lucky Founder sims are the only ones exempt from these conditions since they are the ones who technically "start" the career in the town, if that makes sense XD (Example: you have a founder sim who opens a Health Clinic business. You would also put them into the Medicine career track. Since they are the one who started the clinic, they are allowed to progress to the top of the Medicine career ladder. But only that ONE sim. Any other playables or townies will need to obtain a degree to reach the top.) Something that makes it easier for me to keep track of a sim's career level, is this mod.

A couple of other mods that I use (I know, I know. I use a LOT of mods. But I really consider these ones essential.) are SimBlender and the Bat Box. Careful with the Bat Box, read it carefully and don't mess with stuff you don't need to! I use it to roll the pacifier when I have a pregnant sim to fix the First-Born Syndrome glitch, and to give my adult or pre-made sims University degrees so they are able to progress in their careers. Here is a cuter version.

All of that technical stuff out of the way...

Let's get to the jobs themselves. I've listed all of the available careers from every expansion, and they all have their own rule sets. (Credit to Didily’s Sims for a lot of these career rules!) I also included some custom careers for NPCs. (This makes it so your sim can be a gardener, maid, etc.) You can get these NPC careers here. (Note: I remove the Firefighter file, as I use a different Firefighter mod.)

ADVENTURER -  Available with a tropical Vacation Destination subhood connection once an Airport is built. (More on unlocking subhoods in the Subhood Connections post) Once in this career, the sim must go on a vacation once a sim year (4 seasons) and is allowed to bring their family along. 1. Ambassador's Intern 2. Spelunker 3. Multiregional Sim of Some Question 4. Deep Sea Excavator 5. Relic Liberator 6. Dread Pirate 7. Warhead Disarmer (unlocked with a Military Base) 8. Hostage Negotiator (unlocked with a Police Station) 9. International Sim of Mystery 10. Space Pirate

ARCHITECTURE - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available to everyone once a Home Improvement business is opened by the town Architect.   1. Cement Mixer 2. Brick Layer 3. Foreman 4. Head of Construction Company (unlocked once a Home Improvement store is built) 5. Architect's Apprentice 6. Draftsman 7. Architect 8. Architectural Partner 9. Master Architect 10. City Planner

ARTIST - Available once you have an Arts & Crafts store built. 1. Canvas Stretcher 2. Street Caricaturist (unlocked with a Downtown connection) 3. Souvenir Whittler 4. Comic Book Penciller 5. Wedding Photographer (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Photography Studio is built) 6. Art Forger (unlocked once the sim befriends someone in the Criminal career) 7. Fashion Photographer 8. Acclaimed Muralist 9. Conceptual Artist 10. Visionary

ATHLETIC - Available once you have a Sports Park with spectator seating (bleachers, chairs, etc.) built. You can have the Mayor pay for this lot or you may choose to have an athletic sim open a business selling sports equipment. 1. Team Mascot 2. Minor Leaguer 3. Rookie 4. Starter 5. All Star (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Stadium is built) 6. MVP 7. Superstar 8. Assistant Coach 9. Coach 10. Hall of Famer

BUSINESS - Available with a Downtown connection once you have a Post Office built. 1. Mailroom Technician 2. Executive Assistant 3. Field Sales Representative 4. Junior Executive 5. Executive 6. Senior Manager (unlocked once a Country Club is built) 7. Vice President 8. President 9. CEO 10. Business Tycoon (unlocked once the sim has 3 Top-Rank businesses of their own)

CRIMINAL - Available once a sim befriends a burglar or other criminal. 1. Pickpocket 2. Bagman 3. Bookie (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Stadium is built) 4. Con Artist 5. Getaway Driver (unlocked once a Gas Station/Convenience Store is built as well as a Car Dealership) 6. Bank Robber (unlocked once a Town Hall is built; my Town Halls work as banks for my sims) 7. Cat Burglar 8. Counterfeiter 9. Smuggler (unlocked once an Airport is built) 10. Criminal Mastermind

CULINARY - Available once a Fast Food/Takeout business is opened. This business opening will also unlock pizza or Chinese food delivery as long as the owner has a vehicle. 1. Dishwasher 2. Drive Through Clerk 3. Fast Food Shift Manager 4. Host/Hostess (unlocked once a sit-down Family Restaurant is built) 5. Waiter/Waitress 6. Prep Cook 7. Sous Chef (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Fine Dining Restaurant is built) 8. Executive Chef 9. Restauranteur (unlocked once the sim owns 3 restaurant businesses) 10. Celebrity Chef (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection; more on this in Subhood Connections)

DANCE - Available once a Dance Studio is built. 1. Aerobics Instructor 2. Backup Dancer 3. Jazzercise Instructor 4. Pop 'n Lock Performer (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Nightclub is built) 5. Dance Video Star 6. Interpretive Dancer 7. Tap Dancer 8. Ballroom Dancer (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection once a Theater/Ballroom is built) 9. Flamenco Master 10. World Class Ballet Dancer

EDUCATION - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once an Elementary School is built by the Mayor AND the first sim born in-game reaches childhood, but only for the first Teacher sim you create. No other positions will become available until your Teacher reaches Level 4. 1. Playground Monitor 2. Teacher's Aide 3. Substitute Teacher 4. Elementary School Teacher 5. High School Teacher (unlocked once a High School is built AND the first sim born in-game becomes a teen) 6. University Guest Lecturer (unlocked once a University is available) 7. High School Principal 8. College Senior Professor 9. College Dean of Students 10. Education Minister (once this Level is reached, a Private School can be built)

ENTERTAINMENT - Available with an Entertainment District connection once a Karaoke Bar is built. 1. Stand Up Comedian 2. Birthday Party Mascot (unlocked once a Party Supply shop is built) 3. Mime 4. Lounge Singer (unlocked once a Lounge is built in the Entertainment District) 5. Ventriloquist (unlocked once a Theater is built in the Entertainment District) 6. Round Table Knight 7. Juggler 8. Master of Ceremonies 9. Headliner 10. Prestidigitator

FIREFIGHTER - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Fire Station is built by the town Firefighter. The Fire Station sells smoke detectors and fire extinguishers to better prepare for fire emergencies. Your Fire Station should also have a small kitchen, a place to sleep, some fitness equipment, and a Firetruck of course! No other positions will become available until your Firefighter reaches Level 5. Anyone in this career must learn Fire Safety first. Here are some of the Firefighter-related mods that I am using: Firefighter Career, Firetruck, Electronics Crafting Station, and Custom Smoke Alarms. 1. Firefighter Recruit 2. Firefighter 3. HazMat Technician 4. Driver/Operator 5. Lieutenant 6. Captain 7. Battalion Chief 8. Assistant Fire Chief 9. Fire Chief 10. Fire Commissioner

GAMER - Available once an Arcade is built, but the sim must own a computer or gaming console. 1. Noob 2. Button Masher 3. Trash Talker 4. Gold Farmer 5. Flag Capturer 6. Platform Jumper 7. Power Leveler (unlocked once the sim owns the best computer available) 8. Real Time Strategizer 9. Guild Leader 10. Game Designer

INTELLIGENCE - Available once the Police Station and Science Lab are built. 1. Gumshoe 2. Private Eye 3. Crime Scene Investigator 4. Surveillance Operator 5. Reconnaissance Communicator 6. Rookie Field Agent (unlocked once the Military Base is built) 7. Field Agent 8. Double Agent 9. Elite Operative 10. Head of SCIA

JOURNALISM - Available once a High School is built and the first sim born in game becomes a teen. 1. Yearbook Club Supervisor 2. Blog Writer (unlocked once the sim owns a computer) 3. Internet Movie Critic (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Movie Theater is built) 4. Fact Checker (unlocked once a Newspaper Office is built) 5. Obituary Writer 6. Horoscope Writer 7. Sports Columnist (unlocked when a Sports Park is built) 8. Investigatory Journalist (unlocked when a Police Station is built) 9. Magazine Editor 10. Media Magnate

LAW - Available once the Town Hall is upgraded with a Court Room. 1. File Clerk 2. Law Firm Receptionist 3. Legal Secretary 4. Legal Biller 5. Paralegal (unlocked with a Downtown connection) 6. Personal Injury Attorney (unlocked once the Health Clinic is built) 7. Family Law Attorney 8. International Corporate Lawyer (unlocked with a Vacation Destination connection) 9. Entertainment Attorney (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection) 10. The Law

LAW ENFORCEMENT - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Police Station is built by the town Police Officer. The Police Station will sell burglar alarms to hopefully help prevent burglaries. No other positions will become available until your Officer reaches Level 5. 1. Security Guard 2. Cadet 3. Patrol Officer 4. Desk Sergeant 5. Vice Squad 6. Detective 7. Lieutenant (unlocked with a Downtown connection) 8. SWAT Team Leader 9. Police Chief 10. Captain Hero

MEDICINE - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Health Clinic is built by the town Medic. The Health Clinic works as a pharmacy that sells medicine and comfort soup for sick sims. No other positions will become available until your Medic reaches Level 5. Anyone in this career must learn Physiology first. 1. Emergency Medical Technician 2. Paramedic 3. Nurse 4. Intern 5. Resident 6. General Practitioner 7. Specialist (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Hospital is built; Hospital access allows sims to undergo fertility treatments and plastic surgery) 8. Surgeon 9. Medical Researcher 10. Chief of Staff

MILITARY - This career will work a little differently than the others, inspired by Didily’s Sims. This career track is available once a Military Base is built by the Mayor. The Military Base will act as its own separate community from the main hood. It will be its own subhood, same as a Downtown or a Shopping District. It will also have its own set of rules, which I will explain further in Subhood Connections. 1. Recruit 2. Elite Forces 3. Drill Instructor 4. Junior Officer 5. Counter Intelligence 6. Flight Officer 7. Senior Officer (Sim may now move into on-base private housing whether they are married or not) 8. Commander 9. Astronaut 10. General

MUSIC - Available once a Music shop is built. 1. Record Store Clerk 2. Piano Tuner 3. Coffee Shop Sound Engineer (unlocked once a Coffee Shop is built) 4. Summer Camp Music Teacher (unlocked once a Campground is built) 5. Battle of the Bands Judge (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection once a Concert Hall is built) 6. Roadie (unlocked when cars become available) 7. Studio Musician 8. Concert Pianist 9. Symphony Conductor 10. Rock God

NATURAL SCIENCE - Available once the Science Lab is built and the sim owns at least two caged pets. 1. Ratkeeper 2. Algae Hunter (unlocked once a pond lot is built) 3. Clam Wrangler (unlocked once a beach lot is built) 4. Scatmaster 5. Soil Identifier (unlocked with an upgrade to the Science Lab that adds a Natural Science wing) 6. Rogue Botanist (unlocked with a University connection) 7. Animal Linguist 8. Unnatural Crossbreeder 9. Dinosaur Cloner 10. Ecological Guru

OCEANOGRAPHY - Available once both a Beach and an Aquarium are built. 1. Fish Chummer 2. Dolphin Tank Cleaner 3. Sea Lice Research Assistant (unlocked once the Science Lab is upgraded with a Natural Science wing) 4. Dive Master 5. Underwater Demolitionist 6. Marine Biologist 7. Whale Tracker (unlocked with a tropical Vacation Destination connection) 8. Deep Sea Fisherman 9. Protector of Whales 10. Hand of Poseidon

POLITICS - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Town Hall is built by the Mayor. The Town Hall can sell whatever you want or even act as another lot, such as a library, but for me it mainly acts as a place my sims can go to get married and bank online. I use Monique's Hacked Computers for these options. No other positions will become available until your Mayor reaches Level 5. 1. Campaign Worker 2. Intern 3. Lobbyist 4. Campaign Manager 5. City Council Member 6. State Assemblyperson (unlocked with a Downtown connection. At this point, I have my Mayor work on building a Career Services lot to help sims struggling to find jobs. As well as a Shelter for sims who who need a place to stay for cheap.) 7. Congressperson 8. Judge (unlocked once the Town Hall is upgraded with a Court Room) 9. Senator 10. Mayor

PARANORMAL - Available once alien abduction, resurrection, cheating death, ghost sighting, or other supernatural event occurs. 1. Psychic Phone Pal 2. Conspiracy Theorist 3. Tarot Card Reader (unlocked once an Occult shop is built, selling cauldrons, potions, and other supernatural items) 4. Hypnotist 5. Medium 6. Douser 7. Police Psychic (unlocked once the sim befriends someone in the Law Enforcement career) 8. UFO Investigator (unlocked once a Military Base is built) 9. Exorcist 10. Cult Leader

SCIENCE - Available once a Science Lab is built. 1. Test Subject 2. Lab Assistant 3. Field Researcher 4. Science Teacher (unlocked once an Elementary School is built) 5. Project Leader 6. Inventor 7. Scholar (unlocked once a University is available) 8. Top Secret Researcher (unlocked once a Military Base is built) 9. Theorist 10. Mad Scientist

SHOW BUSINESS - Available with an Entertainment District connection once an Acting Studio is built - they can sell clothing (pretend they're costumes XD), microphones (to practice their voice acting?), mirrors (for charisma of course), jewelry, etc. (I also like to include a Styling Station, so it can look like my sims are preparing for a scene lol) Sims in this career must live in the Entertainment District, if they truly want to make it in the business we call SHOW. 1. Screen Test Stand-In 2. Body Double 3. Bit Player 4. Commercial Actor/Actress 5. Cartoon Voice 6. Supporting Player 7. Broadway Star (unlocked once a Theater is built in the Entertainment District) 8. Leading Man/Lady 9. Blockbuster Director 10. Icon

SLACKER - Available once a Country Club is opened. I treat this business as a fancy restaurant/golf course/spa. (This downloadable lot is great inspiration.) I think this career would make the most sense to be unlocked later down the road, since the Country Club is mainly intended for the wealthier sims, but obviously you can do whatever you please. 1. Golf Caddy 2. Gas Station Attendant (unlocked once a Gas Station/Convenience Store is built) 3. Convenience Store Clerk 4. Record Store Clerk (unlocked once a Music shop is built) 5. Party DJ (unlocked once a club is built) 6. Projectionist (unlocked once the sim owns a computer worth at least $2,000) 7. Home Video Editor 8. Freelance Photographer (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Photography Studio is built) 9. Freelance Web Designer 10. Professional Party Guest

NPC CAREERS - These are custom careers created by TashaFaun. (Note: I remove the Firefighter file, since I use a separate Firefighter mod.) 

Bartender (unlocked once a bar/pub is built; this will also unlock the Bartender service for sims to use)

Exterminator (unlocked once a roach infestation occurs in 3 different households; this will also unlock the Exterminator service for sims to use)

Gardener (unlocked for sims who have a Gold gardening badge; this will also unlock the Gardener service for sims to use as well as the Garden Club)

Maid (unlocked once a hotel is built; this will also unlock the Maid service for sims to use)

Pizza Delivery (unlocked once a Takeout restaurant is built as long as the owner has a vehicle; this also unlocks the delivery service)

Mail Carrier (unlocked once a Post Office is built)

Repair (unlocked for sims who have 5 Mechanical skill points; this will also unlock the Repair service for sims to use)

Social Worker (unlocked for sims who have learned Parenting and Anger Management, once there are at least 3 babies born in the town)

Taxi Driver (unlocked for sims who own a vehicle once the town has 20 community lots)

NANNY - I started using a custom Nanny mod by Lazy Duchess that allows your Teen/Elder sims to become a babysitter and also improves the quality of the nanny service. I also have the Watch Kids Enabled mod that allows your sims to ask their friends to babysit their kids for them. So if you want to skip the Nanny/Babysitter service altogether and have a friend or family member watch your sim’s children for free, you can! 

OTHER SERVICES - These are the remaining NPC services that I do NOT have custom careers for. However, I figured I would explain how to unlock the services and that this would be the best post to do it.

Butler (unlocked once a Country Club is built)

Garden Club (unlocked once the Gardener career is unlocked; see above)

Grocery Delivery (unlocked once the Grocery Store/Farmer’s Market is built and the owner has a car)

Matchmaker (unlocked once an Occult shop is built)

Obedience Trainer (unlocked once the Animal Shelter is opened)

PET CAREERS - Once an Animal Shelter is available and a sim owns a cat or dog, they are allowed to join a pet career under certain conditions. The pet’s career must go along with their owner’s career. I also have Custom Dog Harnesses that appear as service vests.

Security (unlocked for pets whose owners are employed in Law Enforcement)

Service (unlocked for pets whose owners are employed in Fire Service or Medicine)

Show Business (unlocked for pets whose owners are employed in Show Business)

And finally, I think that is all I have on careers for now! Let me know if you have any questions or need me to clarify anything :) 

[clouditae]

First Love | 13

Yoongi x reader | 18+ | college au | tattoo artist au | angst | fluff | swearing

Word: 3.3k

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi

Chapter Index

“So you and Hanbin?” 

You jump and blurt out, “What?” You turn around to face the source of the voice only to meet gazes with Yoongi. 

“You. Hanbin. You’re a couple now?” he says in a nonchalant tone as he looks at you with a lazy gaze. 

You can feel the heat on your cheeks and stomach flutter at his name. “No,” you answer. “We’re just friends.”

“Just friends?” He walks past you and up to his door. “From what I saw, that kiss wasn’t “just friends” for him.” He leans against his dorm door, crossing his arms over his chest. “You got someone already?” The way he says the last word irks you. It’s like he’s mocking you—or something else but he just irritates you.

“Why does it matter?” you ask, walking past him to stand next to your door. “Plus, how do you know about the kiss?”

“Well for starters you always tell me you’re not brave enough to do anything. Turns out you’re either lying or you’re really good at getting someone like him to fall for you. And I know about the kiss because you were extremely loud.” 

“Well I apologize for the noise and you should be proud that I don’t need you anymore if I can get someone like him—whatever that means,” you state matter of factly.

He stares at you with that stupid blank stare you’re beginning to hate so much. “Yeah. Okay. We’ll see how long that lasts before you end up in the bedroom with him.” He puts his key in the hole and turns the door knob. 

He enters his room, letting the door close behind him but you’re faster. Slamming your hand on his door and pushing it open. You ignore the stinging feeling on your hand as you say in an outraged tone, “I am sick and tired of you belittling me. Ever since we started this whole thing, you've only judged and acted rude towards me. I’m sorry for what happened to you, but you do not need to push your anger towards her onto me. I am not your distraction and I am not the reason you’re so angry.” You release the door and make your way towards your room. You hear the sound of his door closing as you open yours and enter your room. 

Ari is staring at you wide-eyed as the door closes behind you. “What?” you ask, tossing your backpack on your bed. 

A smile slowly grew on her lips. “Did you just tell him off?”

“Tell him off? I didn’t tell him off.” 

Ari laughs, “You so did! You were mad and you let him have it with how he was towards you.”

Your eyes widened a bit. “You heard me?” You plop on your chair. “Was I that loud?”

Ari shakes her head. “You weren’t loud, but I could hear you a bit. I didn’t hear everything, but just enough to know you set him straight.” 

You shrug, grabbing your backpack that is luckily close to the edge of your bed. “He was rude to me, and I guess I finally snapped.” 

“I can’t believe you brought Sam up in the conversation,” Ari states in awestruck. “You go girl.” 

You can’t help but sink in your chair a bit. “I can’t believe I said that when he doesn’t even know I know about her.” 

Your roommate laughs again, “Fuck that, and fuck him. He treats you like shit, you make him feel like shit. That’s that, Y/N. No guilt.” 

You let out the air you were holding. “No guilt,” you say more to yourself than to her.

“That’s my girl,” she says in a cheer like tone. “No guilt just dick.”

You turn towards her. “What?”

It’s her turn to shrug as she answers, “I don’t know. I heard some girl say it at a party once. It doesn’t make sense, but it kind of does if you’re trying to get laid? You’re not trying to get laid right now.” She shakes her head. “Just ignore the whole thing.” You can’t help but smile as you open your backpack and pull out your items to begin your homework. 

You’re about two hours in of doing your homework, Ari giving up twenty minutes after starting, when your phone dings, the screen lights up and shows the small message icon. Putting your pencil down, you pick up your phone and unlock the screen, clicking on the message. 

[3:17 pm] Hanbin: Hey Y/N. Are you free later tonight?

You feel your heart’s beat pick up as you reply.

[3:18 pm] Me: Hey. I’m free later. What’s up?

Locking your phone, you put it down to distract yourself from your mind going crazy, but it seems Hanbin is a quick texter as your phone dings once again. 

[3:18 pm] Hanbin: Would you like to meet up and have dinner together? We could eat at the dining hall if you prefer.

Maybe it's because she's your best friend, or maybe it's because you let out the biggest gasp—it's probably the gasp, but Ari asks, "What happened?" You turn to her with the widest eyes you think you can ever have. No words are forming, so you can only stick your phone out to her. She gets up from her chair and takes your phone, reading the message. Her eyes grow big, a shocked smile growing as she says animatedly, "You better go."

"I can't," you blurt, taking your phone back.

"You can, Y/N. If you like him, and he's asking you to hang out with him, take advantage of this! Who knows! Maybe he'll like you back and the two of you will go out and act like a cute couple. The jock and the shy girl. It's your typical teen movie!" She sounds so excited, as if she’s telling her favorite book to you.

"What makes you think he's a jock? You and I technically barely know him."

"He looks like he works out. He could play baseball? He hits those home runs like he can hit your home run right after—"

"Ari," you groan, covering your ears, no longer wanting to hear her perverted comments.

She cackles, "Okay, okay. I'm done." It's quiet between the two of you as you remove your hands from over your ears. "But I do think you should go. You never know what could happen. It could turn into something more, but it could also turn into a friendship."

You let out a long sigh. "Okay," you mumble, replying with shaky hands.

[3:23 pm] Me: Sure! If you want to come here and eat, or we can meet at the food court on campus.

[3:23 pm] Hanbin: Great! I'll meet you on campus if you don't mind

"What did he say?" Ari asks, no longer by her bed but looming over your shoulder to try and read your texts.

"He wants to meet at the food court," you answer, thumbs hovering over the keys with no way of replying coming to mind.

"Tell him you'll meet him there! Pick a time and we'll dress you cutely," Ari chimes, voice in a sing-song tone. You can only ignore her happy toned comment as you reply to his text.

[3:24 pm] Me: I don't mind

[3:25 pm] Hanbin: See you at 5? :)

Your heart races.

[3:25 pm] Me: See you at 5 :)

Ari squeals, "My Y/N is going on a date!" Grabbing your arm she pulls you to your feet. "You have almost an hour to get ready, so we need to work."

You turn to her. "Why do you make it sound like it's going to be a mission to make me look nice?" you ask in an offensive tone.

She lightly smacks your arm. "You know what I mean. We have less than an hour to make you more cuter than you already are. I feel like Hanbin is into cute girls while Yoongi is into hot girls, so cute is going to be so much easier because you're already cute. We just have to find the perfect outfit and apply some light make-up. Maybe put your hair up in a bun?" she rambles, opening her closet to look through her endless line of clothes.

"I don't want to look like I'm actually trying," you announce, watching her as she pulls out a light pink tank top and holding it out towards you to see how it would look.

"This is cute. Take it." Grabbing the top from her, Ari goes back to her closet and digs through it once more. "You won't look like you're trying. I'm going to dress you like you were in school a few hours ago. Cute outfit, light to no make-up, and hair in a messy bun." Ari brings out an olive colored cardigan. "Put this on and keep the jeans you're wearing."

You roll your eyes, take the clothing article and walk to the bathroom. After a quick top change, you come out to see her setting up her make-up station. "Sit, sit." For the remaining short time that you have, Ari works effortlessly to do your make-up perfectly and get your messy bun to look obviously messy but cute. By the time she is done, you have ten minutes to make it to the shuttle stop before it takes off and you have to wait another thirty minutes. She looks at you with such satisfaction. “You are so freaking cute, Y/N. If no guy dates you, I will.” 

You chuckle. “Thanks Ari.” 

Grabbing your wallet and bag from Ari, she grabs you by your shoulders to spin you around towards the door. She pushes you as she rushes, "Now go eat and have fun, and call me if something is fishy! I'll get there in a blink of an eye and beat the shit out of everyone that hurts you." She opens the door and pushes you out, pushing the door close before you can say anything. You can only sigh. How long will it take before Ari realizes your phone and keys are still on your desk. The door opens, Ari shoving your keys and phone at you. "Love you!" she says as you take your belongings.

The door closes leaving you alone. "Love you, too," you mutter, putting your wallet and keys in your bag. Doing a quick dig you luckily found earphones. You do a small cheer and put in your earphones, connecting it to your phone as you begin your walk towards the stop. You mouth the words to the song as you leave the building, make your way down the stairs and once again follow a group of people across the parking lot and towards the shuttle and bus stop.

You enter the shuttle seconds before the driver closes the doors and takes off towards the campus. You take a seat by the window and watch the scenery go by at a somewhat fast pace. Your favorite song comes on. It’s a somewhat romantic song and you can't help but wonder if this is a sign. A sign for you to move on and let your feelings grow for Hanbin?

You shake your head. You don't know if he has feelings for you. He kissed your forehead—it's not like he kissed your lips or cheek. Plus he was drunk so he probably doesn't remember it or if he just did it out of a friendly manner. Maybe he kisses all his friends who are girls like that. Maybe all his friends.

The campus comes into view as the shuttle drives past the main entrance to enter through the side where the driver will stop at the first stop. A few get off as a few enter the shuttle. After a few seconds of waiting for the cars to drive by, the shuttle continues its route. As the second stop begins to appear, the vehicle slows down, coming to a stop behind a bus. You grab your bag and follow one other student off the shuttle, thanking the driver as you step off the last step.

A few people run past you to make it to the bus that looks like it’s about to leave. You hope they make it as you make your way towards the main food court. As you begin to pass the student union building, you wonder if he meant the food court next to the bar and grill, or the food court that’s on the floor in the building you are now passing. Turning the corner that will lead you towards the escalators to the higher level of the campus you meet eyes with Hanbin, who’s exiting the same building you’re walking by.

He smiles. "Hey," he says, slipping his backpack on.

Taking in a quiet, shaky breath, you say, "Hi."

He walks alongside you as the two of you make your way towards the escalators. "I wasn't sure if we were meeting at this food court or the one by the bar," he laughs.

You smile, relieved he feels the same way you felt just moments ago. "Yeah. I wasn't sure either, so I thought the main one would be where you would be."

"Me too. I was on the first floor watching people bowling and I spent a good five minutes deciding if I should just go to the second floor or meet you at the one up here." He points to the building at the top of the escalator. "Guess I chose correctly."

You giggle, "I guess I chose correctly, too."

As the two of you step onto the escalator, letting it take you to the top, Hanbin asks, "What are you in the mood for?"

Crap. He put you on the spot. Now you actually have to think about what you want. You don't know—you didn't have time to think about it. You were so worried about meeting up with him and the whole kiss thing that you totally forgot about what it is that you two are going to eat. What do you say? Greek? Chinese? Japanese? A burrito? A burger? What. Do. You. Say? "I'm not sure yet," you blurt. Close enough.

"Shall we flip a coin?" he questions, fishing out from his pocket a coin. You nod. "Heads are whatever is up here, and tails is whatever is on the second floor." You nod again, watching as he gets the coin into position and tosses it into the air. The two of you watch the coin flip over and over again before landing back in his hand as he does one more flip and reveals the result on the back of his hand. "Tails it is." He gestures to the escalator behind you. "Guess we should go back down."

You smile turning around and following the line to the escalator and going down. "So what are you in the mood for down there?" you ask him, hoping he'll take the bait and pick rather than ask you again because you still do not know.

Hanbin taps his chin in thought. "They have a sub shop as well as Mexican I think?" He seems to have a eureka moment as he snaps his fingers. "There's a pizza shop outside the main entrance. Are you in the mood for pizza?"

Ah. Sbarro. "Yeah. Pizza sounds great."

"Okay, we'll just go through the court and head outside," he informs, taking the lead and entering the student union building. You follow in suit, walking inside and following him past all the tables and chairs that are taken up by students eating and chatting. You enter the lobby of the building where in the center of the room is the student information center. Walking out the front entrance door, you see it’s a bit similar to the outdoor seating by the food court. Along both walls are different stores. Hair parlor, a bank, and so much more along with the pizza shop to your left. Running along the shops are tables and chairs for students.

Walking towards the shop and entering the small building, you place your orders, arguing with Hanbin for a minute about paying, but he pays and the two of you wait at a small table. "Uh," Hanbin begins, adjusting in his seat across from you, "The reason I asked to meet you is because I wanted to talk about that kiss."

You swallow. "Okay."

He looks at you guiltily. Oh boy. What is he going to say? There are so many ideas that are running through your mind, but you don't want to listen to it. You don't want to let that get to you any longer. That fear of maybe it isn’t meant to be. Hanbin interrupts your thoughts, "I wanted to apologize for kissing you. I know it was sudden and I should not have done that—especially drunk, but..." he trails off, looking away. Scratching the back of his head, he mumbles, "I have a crush on you, and in the heat of a drunk moment, I kissed you. However, that doesn't excuse my actions."

You’re frozen in shock. Did you hear that correctly? No... Right? "What did you say?" you ask, voice just above a whisper.

"I'm sorry?"

You shake your head. "No, after that. The... uh."

Hanbin seems to catch on. The color on his cheeks change to a pinkish color. "I"—he clears his throat—"I have a crush on you."

"When?"

"When?" he repeats and you nod. "I guess since we met at the party. You were kind and pretty, and drunk you were even cuter." You're totally hallucinating. Right? "I just wanted to meet to apologize. I'm not looking for you to like me back or anything—plus we just met. I barely know you really," he rambles, and continues to ramble that you’re not even listening anymore.

Take advantage.

"I like you, too," you blurt, voice completely uneven.

Hanbin stops talking and is now staring at you. "What?"

You can't meet his eyes as you repeat yourself, "I like you, too." You look back up at him.

It’s like a weight is lifted off his shoulders and the slight fear in his eyes disappears. Hanbin smiles the biggest smile he can and it causes you to smile as well. "Shall we get to know each other more?"

You nod, and for the rest of the day the two of you sit, eat and talk about everything and anything. You discover his favorite color, why he decided to become a film major and so much more. From just his stories you love his older sister, and his mom is just an angel.

Sadly the sun is going and the shop is closing, so that means it’s time for you to go. The two of you continue to talk as you make your way towards the bus stop. When the two of you reach the stop, you see your shuttle idling by. Most likely waiting for time to go by before it takes off towards the dorms. You made it just in time.

"Well," Hanbin begins as you turn around to face him, "I guess I'll see you later."

You smile, acting like a schoolgirl as you twirl your finger around a loose string on your bag. "Yeah. I'll see you later."

Hanbin chuckles. "Bye, Y/N."

"Bye," you reply, waving as you turn around and enter the shuttle, showing your ID as you take the first seat. You can't see who else is in the vehicle, but you see a few heads. Thankfully they're all back seats kind of people so they can't see all your giddiness. Your phone rings and you quickly pull it out of your bag, forgetting you never put it on vibrate. You frown, answering the phone and looking out the window to Hanbin.

"Would you like to go on a date this weekend?" he asks, gaze towards the door where you had entered.

You chuckle, shining the light from your phone on the window. His attention is now where you are. "I'd love to."

[buriedinbaltimore]

Imagine the foxes playing two truths and a lie...

The upperclassmen start playing it as a drinking game one night and Neil is intrigued. Andrew is also intrigued but doesn’t show it and refuses to play.

They are all already pretty tipsy, with Kevin, Matt, Nicky, and Aaron pretty much drunk.

Allison goes first, she has an amazing poker face and calmly says all three statements with no facial twitches or vocal cues. “my first car was a Toyota Camry (truth), my prom dress cost over $10k (lie), and I once made out with Miley Cyrus (truth)”

Renee, Neil, and Aaron guess right, Matt, Dan, Kevin, and Nicky have to drink.

Then it’s Matt’s turn and he is terrible, he starts snickering before he opens his mouth. “I’ve swam with sharks (truth)” he says, but he cannot control his face and it keeps contorting as he tries to maintain a neutral expression. He takes a deep breath to try and control his giggles, “my favorite flower is sunflowers (truth)” then he can’t hold it in anymore and starts hysterically laughing and chokes out, “My favorite city in the world is Newark, NJ (lie)”

Everyone gets it right and Matt has to drink.

Dan is next, she goes for the “one of these is so out there and crazy it can’t be a lie...or is it?” method.

((It is.))

“I’ve never shot a gun (truth), as a kid my favorite food was celery with ranch dressing (truth), and when I was 18 I won the lottery but the ticket was ruined and I couldn’t claim the money (lie)”

Aaron jumps in with “Obviously you never won the lottery, how would you even know if the ticket was destroyed”

Dan has her story ready. “When I first turned 18, I played the same numbers every week. It went on for a few months when my numbers were picked, but by that point playing was more of a habit than anything else and I wasn’t too careful with my tickets. I searched for it everywhere and found that I left it in my jeans pocket when I did my laundry.”

Allison asks what the numbers were, and Dan answers with no hesitation, which makes Allison tilt her head and stare into Dan’s eyes. Dan looks back without guile, totally relaxed.

Nicky is looking at her with his eyes wide and mouth slightly open and asks how much money she would have won

When Dan answers $53 million dollars Nicky gasps and Matt groans.

Neil, Renee, and Allison get it right, but everyone else falls for it.

When its Nicky turn he forgets to say a lie.

He is sitting there trying to come up with something for what feels like forever while every goads him for taking so long.

Finally, after waiting 5 minutes, Kevin says “I’m going because Nicky obviously can’t come up with anything” and Nicky jumps across Kevins lap and goes “No no no no no, I’ve got it!”

Without moving off Kevin he says “I’m allergic to shellfish, I died my hair green once, and I’ve read all the twilight books three times“ He moves back to his spot looking pleased with himself.

Everyone starts discussing theories until Andrew says in his bored, flat voice, “Nicky, those are all true”

Nicky starts to protest, thinks for a second, then just says “Fuck!” and takes a shot.

Kevin rolls his eyes so hard that his entire head rotates then says, while slightly slurring, “Okay, my turn! I’ve played a game of pick up basketball once (lie), I know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire (truth), and I’ve traveled to over a dozen countries (truth).”

Matt starts hysterically laughing again, “You know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire! oh my god Kevin you are such a nerd!” everyone else starts laughing at Kevin too.

“Maybe I do, maybe it’s the lie!”

“Everyone knows you’ve never played a sport besides Exy in your life Kevin” Dan says, “Will you sing it for us? Please, please, please!”

Allison, Nicky, and Matt join Dan in asking Kevin to sing. Renee even says, “It would be lovely to hear you sing it Kevin” to which Kevin blushes a little and answers, “Maybe later” and then takes his shot.

Aaron is drunk enough at this point to spill some truths he otherwise never would, and will wish for the rest of his life that he never had.

“When I was little, I wanted to be a figure skater when I grew up.(truth)”

Everyone goes completely silent and stares at him unsure whether to laugh or not but he doesn’t realize and continues

“The first time I got high I thought the squirrels in the tree wanted to adopt me as their squirrel king (truth), and I hate Taylor Swift (lie)”

No one says anything at first, and just when Aaron starts to realize something is up, Nicky says “Nah man, you LOVE T. Swift, you can’t deny it!”

They collectively make a silent agreement to ignore this new information about Aaron until he sobers up a bit and can either defend himself, or will be more fun to tease.

In the end, everyone but Renee guesses right, but she guessed wrong on purpose because she didn’t think that Aaron should be having any more to drink.

When it’s Renee’s turn, she smiles sweetly and says, ”I can juggle up to 7 balls (truth), I have never drank diet soda (lie), and I once had a pet turtle named Vincent (truth).”

No one is confident about which is the lie and it is the longest the foxes debate after anyones turn. It doesn’t help that Renee refuses to answer questions, and whenever someone tries to ask her anything she just smiles and shrugs.

It comes out to Neil and Aaron getting it right, while everyone else has to drink.

“How the fuck has it never come up that you’re a master juggler?” Allison asks angrily

“It wouldn’t be appropriate to do it at practice, and we’re not really around balls much otherwise.”

Everyone asks for a demonstration, “I will juggle later if Kevin will sing.”

Everyone looks at Kevin who sighs but says “Okay, fine!”

They all cheer then wait eagerly for Neil to go.

Neil sits quietly for a little while, not as long as Nicky, but long enough that Aaron says, “Come on this should be easy for you! You lied to us all for a year, what’s the problem, the truth?”

Neil shoots him a dirty look but doesn’t respond for a few more seconds then says,

“My mom and I once helped deliver a baby at a truck stop in Alberta, I’ve been bitten by a camel, and I can speak 7 languages”

Everyone just stares at him.

“Two of those things are true?” Matt finally asks

“Yeah.” Neil says, shrugging. Everyone is silent again.

Nicky turns to Andrew for help, but he refuses to say anything. His eyes are bright with interest though and he looks at Neil for a long time. Internally, he thinks the one about helping birth a baby has something off about it.

After much debate, Allison, Kevin, and Matt guess the baby, Renee, Dan, and Aaron guess the camel, and Nicky says the languages, “No one can know SEVEN languages!! I won’t believe it!”

They all turn to Neil expectantly and he says, “It was the first one, we were just outside Vancouver, in British Columbia, not Alberta.”

“But you, Neil Josten, have helped deliver a baby?” Allison asks incredulously.

“Technically I wasn’t Neil Josten yet…”

Everyone groans. Everyone takes a shot.

Cut to 15 minutes later, Renee is juggling an exy ball, some apples, and Matt’s phone while Kevin sings. Nicky tries to sing along with Kevin but definitely doesn’t know the right words, Aaron is watching Renee wide eyed, Dan and Matt are playing air guitar behind Kevin, and Allison is looking for more things for Renee to juggle. Neil and Andrew sit quietly on a desk holding cigarettes, observing their idiot friends.  

Stories Behind the Truths and Lies

Allison

My first car was a Toyota Camry (truth) - Allison’s parents wanted her to learn how to drive in a safe car that wouldn’t draw a lot of attention, so they got her a Camry. She only drove it for 3 weeks before demanding an upgrade.

My prom dress cost over $10k (lie) - This was almost true. She had ordered a custom Zac Posen dress but before it was finalized she made her decision to go to PSU and play Exy, and her mother canceled the order. She ended up wearing something she found in a vintage store that she altered herself. She ended up enjoying it a lot, which led to her decision to study fashion. (In my hc she played professional Exy for 3? seasons but was injured and then started her fashion line.)

I once made out with Miley Cyrus (truth) - While out clubbing one night she met Miley through mutual friends, they were attracted to each other, they made out. Miley asked for her number but Allison wasn’t looking for anything more than a hook up.

Matt

I’ve swam with sharks (truth) - He did this with his mom on a vacation and they both loved it. They also have a tradition where they watch at least one night of shark week together, or at least call each other to talk while they are both watching.

My favorite flower is sunflowers (truth) - No story lol I just think he would like sunflowers.

My favorite city in the world is Newark, NJ (lie) - I love thinking about New Yorker Matt. Raised on the Upper East Side, dad a top plastic surgeon, mom a public figure? Child grew up surrounded by serious privilege. HC that in fifth grade he made friends with a boy who was on scholarship at his school. Let’s call him… Metin. He lived in Queens? He took the subway? Matt goes to his house one day and it is 1/8th the size of his apartment and there are 9 people living there; Metin’s parents, two grandparents, his uncle, his two sisters, and his cousin. They all speak Turkish in the house and it’s loud and crowded but so full of life and love and Matt loves it. He and Metin grew apart when Matt started using, but before that they were best friends for years and explored the city together, Matt learning about and experiencing so much culture that for the first 9 years of his life he didn’t know existed. When Nicky wanted to go to Times Square for New Years Matt knew he had to be a good host and take them but inside he was DYING. I’m getting off track. No New Yorker could ever like Newark. I’m not convinced anybody could like Newark. It is indeed, very laughable.

Dan

I’ve never shot a gun (truth) - Dan hates guns and refuses to shoot one.

As a kid my favorite food was celery with ranch dressing (truth) - Idk I just thought this was cute. And also thinking about young Dan who didn’t have a lot of access to healthy foods getting celery sticks and ranch with her free school lunch and getting SO excited. Trading her cookie to a classmate for their celery.

When I was 18 I won the lottery but the ticket was ruined and I couldn’t claim the money (lie) - I like to think this is part true. After Dan turned 18 but before she was recruited for the Foxes, she played lotto a lot, always with the same numbers that she got from a fortune cookie that said, “Failure is not defeat until you stop trying.” She stopped playing once she signed with Wymack.

Nicky (all truths)

I’m allergic to shellfish - Mostly I love that Andrew knew all these things about Nicky, especially his allergy because he’s always looking out to make sure Nicky doesn’t eat something he can’t.

I died my hair green once - At first, when he took custody of the twins and started showing up for them at school at stuff, he hated the looks he got. He was a 19 year old kid who was supposed to be their guardian? Not to mention the way people eyed his skin and hair when he said he was family. One day he decided to dye his hair blond and he asked Andrew and Aaron to help, to try to bond. Aaron wanted nothing to do with it, but surprisingly, Andrew seem enthusiastic about the idea. He bought the dye and did everything for Nicky in the kitchen. When he was finally done roughly washing the dye out of Nicky’s hair, Nicky went to the bathroom to see how he looked and saw that Andrew had died his hair green. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh at the prank or cry because he foolishly thought he might be getting through to Andrew. When he went back to the kitchen, he tried to laugh it off and said maybe he should go to a salon to get the color right. Andrew told him he was stupid to try and change how he looked just because people were dumb enough to think that families needed to look alike. Besides, they weren’t a family anyway.  “Family” is a toxic excuse for things people put up with, a reason we accept the tragedies and inconveniences forced upon us. (Nora’s words) Nicky was upset, and dyed his hair back to his natural color once the roots started growing in, but he reaffirmed his commitment in that moment that he would show the twins what Erik had shown him, what a family could really be.

I’ve read all the twilight books three times - Nicky was a huge fan of twilight, even going to the midnight release party for the last book. He was disappointed in the movie adaptations but loved the casting and watched for the eye candy. He is loving the twilight renaissance especially the twilight is gay discourse.

Kevin

I’ve played a game of pick up basketball once (lie) - Kevin has never played a game of basketball, or soccer, or tennis, or baseball, or any other sport for that matter and can not understand why anyone would want to.

I know all the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire (truth) - Kayleigh Day was a big music fan, she loved everything from classical to country, but one of her favorite artists was Billy Joel. After she died and Kevin moved into Evermore, he almost forgot about her music because the music at the Nest was all chosen for pragmatic reasons, like its BPM and ability to pump the players up. One day, when Kevin was around 15 years old, a rebellious Raven played his own music while training in the weight room. He and his partner were the only ones in there until Riko and Kevin showed up, and they turned it off as soon as they realized they had come in, but Kevin heard some of “Only the Good Die Young” and for the first time in a long time had a vivid memory of his mother. He asked the boys what had been playing, and Riko scoffed at the name Billy Joel. That night while Riko was sleeping, Kevin downloaded Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits and listened until he feel asleep, and he continued listening to it for weeks until he started remembering more of his mothers songs from his childhood. We Didn’t Start the Fire was one of his favorites because history.

I’ve traveled to over a dozen countries (truth) - Between travel through Europe with his mom while she spread Exy and professional appearances he made with Riko, Kevin is the most well traveled besides Neil.

Aaron

When I was little, I wanted to be a figure skater when I grew up. (truth) - When Aaron was around four or five, he watched the winter olympics on TV and fell in love with figure skating. Tilda never bothered to get him skating lessons, but one day, when Aaron was seven, there was an attempt to revive the Ice Capades. Aaron never thought he would get to go, but Tilda surprised him with tickets. It is one of the few really good memories he has of his mom.

The first time I got high I thought the squirrels in the tree wanted to adopt me as their squirrel king (truth) - I just imagine Aaron trying his mom’s drugs for the first time alone in the back yard, laying flat on his back looking up at a family of squirrels, saying, “I’m king of the squirrels!!!”

I hate Taylor Swift (lie) - Katelyn is a HUGE Taylor Swift fan. When they first started hanging out, Aaron didn’t really like her music but didn’t want to say anything. Eventually he started associating her with Katelyn though, and he loves watching Katelyn sign and dance so much that he now genuinely enjoys her music.

Renee

I can juggle up to 7 balls (truth) - Renee always had a natural juggling talent. She never really tried to learn, it was just always something she could do.

I have never drank diet soda (lie) - She does prefer non-diet soda, but she has tried diet before.

I once had a pet turtle named Vincent (truth) - Vincent was a gift from one of her mother’s boyfriends, the only one Renee ever remotely like. He was horrible to her mother, but had a soft spot for Renee and treated her kindly. They broke up after a couple of months, and he gave her Vincent as a parting gift. She had him until she got arrested, she couldn’t go back home to get him and when her mother went to prison he died.

Neil

My mom and I once helped deliver a baby at a truck stop in Alberta (lie) - This happened while Neil and his mom were on the way to Seattle. It was the middle of the night and they stopped to get gas a few hours out from Vancouver when they heard a woman screaming. There was nothing around for miles and only one other car in the lot that had been there when they pulled in. His mother immediately dropped the gas pump and Neil was already back in the car when the screaming stopped and his mother hesitated. Neil had never seen his mom hesitate with a potential threat around before, and he listened closely to try and understand why she stopped. All he heard was a woman panting harshly, but it sounded almost as though there was a rhythm to it. Mary signaled for him to get out of the car, and ordered him to grab some blankets, the first aid kit, and water bottles and follow her. They walked behind the locked public bathrooms, and found the woman squatting, with tears running down her face. Mary wasn’t very gentle or comforting, but she told the woman in a calm and confident voice that they were going to help. Neil didn’t do much, but he let the woman hold his hand and squeeze until he thought she would break it. He gave her sips of water between her contractions and did anything else his mother said. Once the baby was out, wrapped in a blanket, and in its mothers arms, Mary grabbed Neil and they left without another word to the woman. She stared after them, confused and grateful. Neil and his mother never spoke of it again.

I’ve been bitten by a camel (truth) - Neil and Mary spent a few days in Dubai to get some papers from a specialist there before traveling back to North America. The man did his business out of a racetrack where they held camel races. To get to his office, they had to travel through the back part of the track that the jockeys used to get the camels into position. Neil got too close to one of the camels and it bit his arm, luckily (or not), the jockey was in the middle of beating it and before it closed its mouth too tightly, landed a blow that caused the camel to immediately open its mouth again. Once he was freed, Neil was out of reach in a millisecond.

I can speak 7 languages (truth) - English, German, French, Russian, Hebrew, Czech, Greek. (To clarify he can speak 7 languages but he wouldn’t necessarily call himself fluent in all 7) We all know English, German, French, and Nora had a hc that Andrew and Neil learn Russian so they can talk to each other even with the cousins around which I love. Hebrew - In my hc Neil is jewish, as are Mary and Nathan. After running away, Mary didn’t know where to go once she had left her brother. She didn’t speak any other languages besides English, but she could understand Yiddish from hearing her grandparents and sometimes her parents speaking it growing up, and she could understand Polish from her time married to Nathan. She didn’t want to go to Poland in case any of Nathan’s contacts recognized her, so she decided to go to Israel. She knew there were communities there that spoke Yiddish and she was familiar if not comfortable with Hebrew from going to temple when she was younger. But most importantly she knew Nathan didn’t have any regular contacts there. While they were there, along with learning Hebrew, Mary pretended to be interested in converting to Greek Orthodox in order to get secret Greek lessons for her and Neil. After a while but sooner than she had hoped, Mary got a warning that Nathan had figured out where they were. She didn’t think it would be wise to go directly to Greece so she decided to move them to Prague next, since Czech and Polish are fairly similar and she really had no other ideas. While in Prague she continued her and Neil’s Greek lessons, and they went on to Greece eventually. Mary didn’t want them to lose any of the languages they learned, so she came up with a system that on certain days of the week they would speak to each other in certain languages. After Mary died, Neil pretty much gave up on Czech and Hebrew because he hadn’t been surrounded by them in so long and he hadn’t used either except with Mary since they moved from Prague or Israel. They had lived in Greece for longer than they had in Prague or Israel though, moving to a few different cities, so he felt stronger with Greek.

Fin. 

This is my first time writing anything fanfiction, my first time doing any creative writing at all really, and I would love any and all feedback!! Thanks for reading this long ass post, I hope it wasn’t terrible!!

[embretheworld]

I was bored so here’s some hc’s

I have a lot surprisingly so a lot of these are coming off the top of my head

-Laxus does not have good eyesight in the eye with a scar because that's where the lacrima was implanted. But he can still see out of it, it just gets blurry sometimes.

-If you had a lacrima implanted in you, there's gonna be a scar where it was implanted, and depending on what type of magic it is determine's the shape.

-Laxus's mother was born without magic and had the same thing happen to her but she was 16 when she had it implanted in her hand, she also had asked to have one and Laxus didn't.

-Laxus was born without magic thanks to his mother being born without magic too.

-When you get a lacrima implanted in you, depending on what type and how strong it is, depends on how sick you get. It's a counterbalance so people won't always get lacrima's implanted in them. The day it was implanted you get very sick as the body's reaction to an overwhelming influx of magic in your system, it happens every year in the same day it was implanted but the first time is the worst.

-"This is what I get for being emotionally slutty," Loke probably looking back on some kind of event.

-Loke with freckles!

-Loke sleeps when he's bored.

-Lucy suffers the worst writer's block ever and can't seem to ever get out of it no matter how hard she tries(I feel you girl).

-Plue really likes candy.

-Happy got Lucy a little frame that said "Life is better with cats" for her Birthday and despite how much Happy annoys her sometimes she keeps it on the desk she writes on and treasures it dearly.

-Do not let Erza play whack a mole or the games where you have to throw balls at clowns or vases you have to knock down to win a prize.

-Or let the dragon slayers play any driving game in general.

-Horror movies do not scare Aries, a lot of things do, but not horror movies.

-Mira really likes candles, but always gets them when they're on sale.

- Gray once got banned from a strip club after being mistaken for one of the strippers.

-Juvia could literally kill someone if she wanted to since our bodies are made of 60% of water but has no idea. She desires to learn more about blood magic if she so desires but hasn't.

-Levy wants to study rune magic but procrastination is her worst enemy, also people trying to attack the guild interrupting her every time she tries to cracks open a book to try and learn it. She's stopped trying to learn it in fear that if she tries someone will start attacking the guild again.

-Gajeel & Juvia and Gray & Loke are very underrated friendships that need more attention.

-Natsu chugged hot sauce and didn't even flinch. (A friend of mine did that and they scare me.)

-Lucy carries around a box of matches just in case Natsu wants a snack whenever they go on missions.( which is a lot of the time, a lot of her money has went into buying matches, she's had to go to plenty different stores to buy some because she's scared the clerk will think she's up to something and explaining it will only make her seem more suspicious.)

-Technically demon slayers are just exorcists but with more violence.

-In a human au Gray was an exorcist once.

But in normal Fairy Tail he takes side jobs on getting rid of demons from ordinary houses or other places which pays a lot.

-The wool Aries can make, can make really nice jackets. She's made jackets using it, but Loke stole it cause he likes comfy things in general.

-Loke actually needs his glasses, his glasses double as both sunglasses and normal glasses(someone I know someone who has the same type of glasses, I also wear glasses so.) due to being in Earthland too long, certain things started deteriorating like important sense's thankfully it wasn't on a major scale but on a longer one but it can't be fixed.

-Due to his eyesight deteriorating he has better hearing.

-Loke and Evergreen are nearsighted, Levy is farsighted.

-Ivan named Laxus because Laxus looked so much like his mother it only seemed fair.

-Laxus has an aunt who's his mom's sister. He talks to her through letters because she lives across the sea.

-"My little dragon," was a nickname that Laxus's mom gave him after he had gotten the dragon lacrima implanted in him against her wishes since if they were to do it, she wanted to do it when he was 16 like her but Ivan thought 8 was a much more appropriate age. (It was not). The only one who knows of this nickname for him is Makarov, his mom, his aunt, and his dad.

-His dad once used the name in a fight against him and he wanted to punch him so bad.

-If Mira were to swear she'd put sailors to shame.

-Erza has horrible road rage.

-I refuse to believe that Loke has two sets of ears, he does not have human ears and lion(cat ears?) ears at the same time just lion ears while in his celestial form and humans ones in his human form. He wears the piercing he used to wear on his human ears on his cat ears when in said celestial form, or outfit or whatever.

-The car ears(I'm calling them that now) are actual ears, you'd be surprised how many people try to pull on them in thinking that they aren't only to be pleasantly surprised that they in fact are. He likes to be pet behind them whenever they are there and he doesn't have regular human ears.

-He also despises chokers/collars with the very soul of his being. He might hiss at you if you bring one even close to him that's how much he hates them.

He doesn't even have a reason to he just hates them.

-Erza sometimes refers to her guildmates as "Feral children".

-Dragonslayers cannot whistle if their life depended on it.

-Loke knows French because most of his masters were in the French Court meaning it was mandatory for him to learn it. (I refuse to believe anyone with common sense would date him with that haircut he had in the human world, looked like something a 5-year-old would draw on a stick figure in an attempt to draw hair).

-Levy knows French, Arabic, and a few other languages.

-She fucks with people by talking to Loke in French and making them think that they're talking about that person why they aren't.

-Mira tried to learn French, she failed very badly since she kept forgetting the parts before the word and kept messing it up.

-The dragon slayers can purr when happy, growl when mad, and whimper when sad.

-The same thing applies to Loke but mostly because he's an overgrown cat.

-In order to date someone at the guild if you aren't in it you have to get Erza's blessing/asking her if it's alright since she's kinda the older sister and also the first one you wanna tell.

-Loke does not blow-dry his hair after he washes it because it just poof's up and there's no way to fix it other than to wash his hair again and look like a drowned cat for an hour or two. Though his hair is very soft after he washes it and it properly drys and isn't wet.

-Celestial spirits can dream, but their dreams consist of looking back on old memories from an outside viewpoint.

-Freed says "Let's have another round tonight" very unenthusiastically when drunk, just that sentence, no other sentence, just that one, only when he's drunk.

-Loke's good with finances along with fashion because one of his previous master, Valeria, pushed her financial work on him as a 'learning experience'.

-Loke was also offered a modeling job before and Lucy is super pissed since he of all people can get one but not her. (In the human au, he actual does modeling)

-If Mira and Loke were to team up it'd most like to be to help people in the guild get together.

-They would succeed.

-They both also like wine.

-Loke and Erza are bi, Mira is pan.

-Upon learning about this, Juvia considered Loke a love rival, be assured her that he was none and that he'd give her some advice to trying to date Gray because Gray and romance don't go well if she kept quiet about it.

-Gray ended up figuring it out and still holds it against him.

-Loke does not like being compared to a cat, he despises it so Gray as the best friend he is does exactly that.

-The two of them have blackmail on each other, and Gray often drags Loke into watching horror movies knowing he absolutely despises him with the very core of his being.

-Gajeel will fight anyone who hurts his best friend, Juvia.

Or anyone who hurts his guild but Juvia is different since she's been with him since they joined Fairy Tail.

Natsu once grabbed a pan straight out of the oven and horrified everyone in the room.