#technically not my top 5 but let's keep it to books everyone will know

[galvanizedfriend]

Thanks for the tag, friend! 💜 @purplesigebert

rules: list 5 of your favourite books on a poll, so your followers can vote which book they think captures your vibe the best

Tagging @definedareasofuncertainty, @amandakc, @rosedforbes, @misssophiachase and @sekretny.

[lovifie]

Lift Me Off My Feet

Chapter 11: Gaz’s Date

Masterlist

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

W: Gaz x Reader, jealous Gaz, the tiniest bit of toxic Gaz, degradation, spanking, rough sex.

A ruckus at the door brings you out of the book you were reading, a mischievous laugh on the other side of the door and when it finally opens you can't help but mimic Gaz's wide smile as he runs to you. He holds your face kissing you before asking: “Do you wanna go on a date with me tomorrow?”

There is an urge to the way he asks, making you want to say no just to tease him; but it's been days since you left the house so you quickly nod. He kisses you again, pulling the book off your hands and laying it down on the table (open, so you don't lose the page).

He softly pushes you back with the kiss, making you lie down on the sofa with him on top of you. You still wonder why he was in such a rush, and it gets answered when Soap enters the house panting and calling your name. 

“I'm here, Johnny.” You say, waving your hand so he can see you from the door. His face lights up for the second it takes him to see Gaz is already lying on top of you, looking up at him with a shit-eating grin. 

“Too slow, Johnny.” Gaz teases. “My date and I are already set.”

“Oh, away n' bile yer heid!” The scotsman complains, but still lays down on top of the two of you making you groan. You can tell Gaz is using his strength to take some of Soap's weight off of you, because you know damn well that if you had to lie under the two brick houses you would pop a lung. 

You chuckle at Soap's dramatism, looking at Gaz. “What are you not telling me, you little shit?” He looks at you with a boyish smile on his face, mischief clear on his eyes, not even bothering to play it as innocent. 

“There is this military gala that Price is making all of us attend.” He explains. “And now you are attending too.”

“Wait.” You say, reality is settling in. You slip from under him, sitting up and Gaz pushes Soap off of him making him fall on the floor; both of them sitting up on their new locations. “A military gala? Like… meeting your bosses and all of that? And like… what I'm supposed to do there? I don't-”

“Well technically…” Gaz cuts you off. “Price is our boss. And those that are over him usually leave really early, we go mostly to see old colleagues and get drunk. And you are attending… as my girl.”

“Our girl.” Soap quickly chimes in, correcting Gaz.

“Uh uhh” Gaz answers, shaking his finger. “My date, my girl. You already got yours.”

Gaz pulls you, sitting you on his lap as a petulant child who has been asked to share a toy. 

“Oi, Garrick, don't make me beat yer arse.” Soap argues, but quiets down when you move his head to rest on your lap.

“But then… you are introducing me to your… friends?” You ask, anxiousness setting on your stomach. “Are you sure about it?”

Gaz furrows his eyebrow at your question. “Are you asking if I'm sure about letting my friends know about you?”

You look from Gaz to Soap, both with the same confused expression. “Bonnie, if I could I'll keep ye in my pocket just so I could show ye to every single person I come across.”

“Exactly, like…” Gaz looks at you confused. “I think you keep forgetting that we are obsessed with you, birdie.” He chuckles.

He hugs you, kissing your cheekbone. “I want to introduce you to everyone I know, birdie. You are somebody to drag about.”

His words help to ease the thoughts inside your brain, finally letting your anxiety travel to other important matters.

You gasp. “The dress John bought me is still at base…”

“Ye aren't wearing the same dress again.” Soap chimes in. “Ghost and Price are buying ye another one.”

“They are shopping together?” You ask, confused.

“Laswell is probably with them too, so don't worry, I'll be pretty.” Gaz explains, as if you know who the fuck Laswell is. 

It is already nighttime when you leave the house, hand on hand with Gaz. Feeling the prettiest girl at the world with the constant compliments for the four men. 

Once inside the venue, Gaz’s hand doesn't lift from your back. Always guiding you, introducing you to people and pulling you away from others that, according to him: “is not worth even knowing their names.”

Making sure to enunciate the “She's my partner” to anyone who asks, it was spoken before, that this was not the place to explain to everyone how the poly relationship worked to the old military men who were struggling to look up to your face and not stare at your chest. 

It doesn't make the other three men complain any less, Price going “Garrick” whenever the sergeant becomes a little too enthusiastic about you and him. There are a couple of people that Ghost tells you, know about their arrangements. Not the tiny details, but enough to know that there is something between the four of them and that if you are involved with Gaz, you are involved with the rest.

One of those people, is Alex Keller. Whom Gaz is really excited to introduce you to, and who ends up sitting at the same table as you. 

It is a round table, wide enough not to be able to reach Ghost's feet that is sitting right in front of you as you sit between Soap and Gaz. Gaz is also sitting next to Alex, and as the night goes on he slowly turns more and more towards him, giving you his back. 

You turn to Soap, pout on your face. “I think my date is on a date with somebody else.” You know it is unfair, they haven't seen each other in years and are just catching up; still, you are glad Soap is next to you or else you'll feel quite alone. 

“Ye can always make out with me.” Soap proposes, making you chuckle. “But I think I have an even better idea.”

Now, you know both sergeants are little mischievous shits; but the smile on Soap's face still makes you rethink on how much trouble you are going to get yourself into.

“Have any of us told ye that Gaz is a really jealous man?” Soap asks, leaning into your chair and resting his arm on the backrest of it. “Like, really jealous.”

“Gaz?” You ask, quite shocked that the so-sure-of-himself man is the jealous man out of the four. 

Soap nods, smiling still. “When we started, Gaz and I were the ones that mixed the pairs, to say it simply. And Gaz knew Ghost and I were already messing with each other, still, at the beginning whenever I'd kiss Ghost, Gaz would turn his head. I promised ye, if I hadn't seen him suck my dick I'd guess he was homophobic.”

His choice of words as you cover your mouth so Gaz can't hear you laugh, leaning more onto Soap's side. “That's why he pulled me away from you on the sofa?” You ask and Soap quickly nods, a smile on his face. 

“Especially ye, since you are the last addition. The three of us have been reassuring him that we love him to bits for years now, but ye still have a long road to go, bonnie.” He says, starting to look around looking for somebody. “And I think I have an idea of how to show ye.” 

He waves at somebody behind you after a second, urging them to come closer. You look behind, seeing a tan man approach with a smirk on his face. 

“Soap, hermano, long time no see” He says, clapping hands with Soap. “What have you been up to?”

“Alejandro, let me introduce ye to Birdie.” He says, before saying your actual name and repeating Alejandro's name to you. He shakes your hand, making you smile at the formalities and he winks at you, satisfied with making you smile. “And actually, I think she can use some of yer help.” He signals the man to bend down to whisper to him. “How do ye feel about messing with Gaz a bit?”

“Let me guess, if I say yes I get to flirt with the pretty lady?” He asks, whispering as well and laughing when Soap nods. “A huevo, hermano. I'm in.”

He pulls an empty chair from a close by table, Soap pulls your chair and Alejandro sits between you and Gaz. Who has yet to notice the treachery taking place behind him. 

It is easy to forget that you are doing this to get a raise out of Gaz, especially with how funny the conversation gets between Alejandro and Soap. Telling you about Soap's absolute lack of ability to learn Spanish, and how it almost got him into problems when he accidentally asked for a male prostitute instead of a cigar, when he kept getting the words puro and puto mixed up. 

You are laughing out loud, almost crying for it, not just you, the three of you. Alejandro is rocking back and forth on his chair, and his hand lands on your thigh, innocent enough that it doesn't even make you uncomfortable. But not innocent enough for Gaz, who has been side-eyeing the three of you for a bit now, Alex chuckling when he noticed he had stopped listening to him. 

The moment Alejandro's hand lands on you, he springs into action, standing up and walking behind you. “Birdie. Can I talk to you for a minute? In private.”

You stand up, knees weak at the look on Gaz's face. He easily pulls your chair back so you can walk. He grabs your hand once you take the first step and pulls you towards the bathroom stalls. You look back to Soap, and see him, Alejandro and Alex who have just taken your place smiling at you with a thumbs up. 

He pushes you inside the stall, locking the door behind you and then presses you against the wall, his hips pressed plush against yours. His hand grabs your jaw, making you look at him to his face. “What the fuck do you think you were doing, birdie?”

“What?” You ask, playing dumb.

“What?” He asks back, high pitched voice mimicking yours, his other hand raising to pinch your nipple through the thin fabric of the dress making you hiss. “Do you think I'm blind? Deaf? Or just plain old stupid? Hm?”

“I don't know what- AH!” He pinches hard, making you whine, cutting you off.

“Don't lie to me, birdie.” He says, face getting close to yours where you can feel his breath on yours. “Has Alejandro left you stupid or something?”

“You were ignoring me!” You complain, trying to act tough as if his degrading tone wasn't making you grow wet by the minute. 

“Oh! So that's it!” He asks, dry laughing. “I speak with a person for one minute!” He says, raising a finger to accentuate his words. “And you are already looking for another dick to choke on, right?”

“That's not true!” You argue, trying to avoid his gaze.

“Then show me, birdie. Show me mine is the only dick you want to choke on.” He says, rubbing his crotch against your abdomen. 

The moment he pulls back, you drop to your knees helping him get his belt undone. He lowers his briefs, shaft springing free and pulsing right in front of your face. He is already hard and it makes you wonder whether he was already when he stood up from the table. 

He grabs your wrist, and when his tip is inside your warm mouth he thrusts forward hitting the back of your throat hard making you gag but pulling your hands behind his back to prevent you from moving back. 

It’s ironic how similar it is to the first night you met him, when Price cuffed you around his waist. 

He thrust forward hard, your eyes watering as you fight your gag reflex. You wonder for a second if he is actually getting any kind of pleasure other than the feeling of humiliation you. 

One of his hands moves to the back of your head, pushing you closer until your nose reaches his happy trail. You look up to him, vision blurry with tears. 

He groans, pulling your hair to push you back and then up to have you standing. He turns you around, pushing your head against the wall. “I guess I have no other option but to fuck your ungrateful pussy, hm? Fuck you stupid so you can stop whoring yourself to every man? How many more dicks do you need, birdie? How much of a slut are you that four dicks the size of your bloody forearms are not enough?”

It shouldn't be turning you on as it is, every single feminist cell on your body getting ignored by all your blood flowing to your cunt pulsing with anticipation. 

He pulls your dress up, pushing your panties to the side before probing your entrance with his tip. He knows it's gonna sting, but in his jealousy-driven mind, that's what he wants. For your body to remember him tomorrow. 

He pushes forward, slowly, covering your mouth when you cry at the sting; waiting stills once he bottoms out to let go of your mouth. 

He grabs both your wrists on his hand behind your back, still keeping your head pushed against the wall. There is a loud sound of his hips slapping against yours, accompanied by the moans and pants of both of you. 

You could as well have the door open with the way you are fucking, everyone that walks by would know perfectly fine what's going on. 

He bends forward, close to your face, talking to you through gritted teeth. “This is what you wanted, right? To get fucked like a whore? While everyone outside knows that you are getting fuck? Filthy, filthy slut.” 

He moves back, letting go of your head only to slap your ass hard enough to leave an imprint. It makes you jump, making him grunt when you clench around him. 

“Fucking. Take it. Whore.” He says, snapping his hips at every word, knocking the breath out of you. His heavy balls keep slapping against your clit, sending shockwaves up your column making your toes curl. 

He slaps your ass again, hard, always on the same spot. And he doesn't relent until he starts to see the little purple dots of a bruise forming on your asscheek. It has tears threatening to fall from your eyes, still pulsing around him so close for release. 

“I bet you are scared I'm gonna leave you hanging, right, whore?” He asks, reading your mind. The thought of the man finishing before you and leaving you wanting your release was on your mind since he made you stand from the table. “You don't even care about anything else, do you? As long as you get to cum, you don't care that I talk to you like you are trash, do you? Such a fucking whore, only thinking with your cunt.”

He chuckles behind you, not sparing you a second to breathe as your orgasm comes closer and closer. “Then cum, you fucking whore. I don't have all night.” 

And you do, whaling his name as your whole body shakes when the orgasm rains over you. Your head hits the tiling with a loud TONK as you do, making Gaz laugh meanly behind you at your lack of control. 

He lets go of your hands, letting you support yourself on your hands instead of your face. He holds your hips instead, thrusting in and out fast and shallow, going after his own release. 

You clench around him, the overstimulation getting to you and that is enough for Gaz to spill thick ropes of his spent inside of you. Pulling out to see it spill out, just for him to shove his dick back inside making you moan when fucks his cum back inside of you. 

“Kyle!” You whine, needing a moment to breathe. He chuckles behind you, getting his dick out and moving to grab toilet paper to dry himself off you. You look under you, between your legs seeing the thin strip of his seed spilling out of you onto the floor. 

“Aw, birdie, you're letting it go to waste.” He comments behind you, while he puts his pants back up. 

You give him a look making him chuckle and you stand up, leaning back on the sink with wobbly legs. He walks between them, pushes one of your legs apart with his and gets two of his fingers back inside of your saturated cunt. 

You groan, slapping his arm. “I'm just making sure that you can feel my cum slipping out of you for the rest of the night so you can stop acting like a whore.” He says, beaming with a smile. 

He takes his fingers out, helping you clean up and throw the paper away. He holds you in his arms, the jealousy flushed out of his system turning him back onto his clingy self. 

You look up to him, his eyes shiny with love on them. Smiling widely at you. You don't know what pushes you to say it, but once it leaves your lips you are not sure who is more flabbergasted out of the two. 

“I think I love you, Kyle”

“Wh- Bird- I- You can't…” he sighs, resting his head on yours. “You can't say such a thing right after I called you a whore, Birdie!” He complains, trying to hide the smile on his voice. 

“Hm, don't call me a whore then!” You argue, the same smile on your face. “Are you not going to say it bac-”

Before you can finish the question, his lips are on yours. Plush soft lips kissing you lovingly, he is almost hugging your head with how tightly he is hugging your shoulders. “I think I love you too, Birdie. You little minx”

You chuckle against his lips, butterflies on your stomach as if mere minutes ago it wasn't his dick you were feeling inside of you. It's a silly feeling, but a warm one indeed. 

He kisses you again, a soft peck on your lips before softly patting your butt (the side he didn't assault before) and saying. “Wash your face and get out before they think I murdered you.”

You chuckle, getting spooked at your reflection on the mirror. You grab paper again, working on taking most of the mascara running down your face and the smudged lipstick. 

You do a decent job at it, cleaning Gaz's lips as well and walking out of the bathroom, still feeling your knees ready to give up. It is clear that whichever high rank that was at the party must have left, because the quiet dinner from before is slowly turning into a party. 

On your table, only Ghost, Soap and Price are still sitting down. Most likely waiting to leave altogether, but it makes the walk easier and as you try to sit down, Price pulls you into his lap, Gaz groaning behind you. 

Price kisses your temple. “Are you ready to leave?” He asks softly, and you shake your head grabbing the champagne bottle for the middle of the table. “I'm finally out of the house, I want a party.”

It's late at night when the five of you finally make it home. Everyone's a little bit tipsy, enough to make everyone clumsy and to have an easy laugh at everything. That's how you go to sleep, helping everyone get naked too tired to bother with any sleepwear. Between giggles, kisses and smacks to everyone's butts with the corresponding “EH!”

It is a comedic image, the bed not big enough but everyone still stubborn enough to sleep altogether. Too clingy to sleep apart from each other.

Price wishes he could sleep like this every night, knowing the five of you are safe and within reach. 

If only he knew he wasn't going to be able to do it again.

TADAAA

Hi lovelies!! 💗

We are now on the last stretch, only one more chapter left. And it has me on my feelings to see the series end 😭

But anyway, hope you like it 💗

Also, debating whether to upload the last chapter later today or tomorrow, so we will see.

Make sure to leave a comment or a reblog if you did 💗💗

TagList: @whos-fran @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @kayden666 @dumb12bvtch1212 @thatonepupkai @darkangel4121 @cassiecasluciluce @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tired-writer04 @evolutionarry @prettykinkysoul @pagesfalling @skyler-loves-rick-grimes @readerofallthingss @onewattson6529 @mynameismothra  @renabear88 @lolliepopsicle @reap3erslov3 @tooloudarts @sodavrrr @anirok2 @lilliumrorum @ladyxtiger @multy-fandom-lover @thriving-n-jiving @lotionlamp @spicyspicyliving @xxeiraxx @vampirekilmerfic @keiraslayz @risingofjupiter @witchthewriter @soupinasock @phantomly27 @arbesa-mind  @multifandomheathenannie  @spadekip @cmbghost @herefor-tojis-tits @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk @reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles @ghosts-hoe @cassiecasluciluce

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 4 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Harrowhark

I'm pretty sure you've already got plenty of submissions for her so I'll just say she was raised in what is basically a cult (technically a nunnery but let's be real) dedicated to keeping the body of the thing that will kill God behind the rock. One of their prayers is actually "I pray the rock is never rolled away". Harrow is extremely devout as penance for her earlier heretical actions in the tomb as a child (spoiler!) so the Catholic guilt really comes through

imagine being a catholic nun and you meet god, but it turns out he’s a twitch streamer from new zealand who became god because everything got a little bit out of hand. and just before you met him you gave yourself a diy grief-fuelled lobotomy with the help of your best frenemy. imagine how insane you’d be. now multiply that insanity by nine. that’s the fictional love of my life right there.

she meets god. she’s not inspired

she’s number one practitioner of space Catholicism. The locked tomb is chock full of Christian (catholic) imagery themes metaphors etc. just look at her she’s got a bone rosary

They're Catholicism with extra bones. Everyone is a nun. They have what is basically a rosary made from knuckle bones. They technically worship the same God as everyone else, but they're waaaay more focused on The Body in the Tomb (Mary) and we get a moment where we find out that while everyone else prays the equivilent of The Lords Prayer, they're doing the equivilent of Hail Mary. And they paint their faces with skulls.

She thinks leaving dry bread in a drawer is taking care of someone. She's in love with a 10,000 year old corpse (the same one they worship). She spent ALL NIGHT digging with her bare hands to make sure a field had bones every 5 feet so she could fight her girlfriend - I mean, greatest enemy. Spoiler territory: She's been puppeting her parents corpses since she was 8 years old. Instead of grieving her dead girlfriend, she gives herself a lobotomy. She makes soup with bone in it so she can use the bone IN THEIR STOMACH to try and kill them.

The author is/was Catholic and the entire series had heavy Catholic overtones. https://www.tor.com/2020/08/19/gideon-the-ninth-young-pope-and-the-new-pope-are-building-a-queer-catholic-speculative-fiction-canon/ A good breakdown of how it's Catholic

Anti-propaganda (spoilers)

I love the Locked Tomb series but Harrowhark has daddy issues with God, had a childhood crush on God's cryogenic partner, and is in love with God's daughter, not to mention that she's essentially a bone-bender. The religion on her home planet exists in a way that is technically against the will of the canon in-universe God, even. All of this to say, Harrowhark is heretical at minimum if not an outright witch. Terrible Catholic. Burn her.

Ronan Lynch

Uhh fun fact he saw the devil flash his father once, and that's one of the reasons he goes to church on Sundays <3

context for this scene from book 2: ronan is in church with his older brother declan, younger brother matthew, and ghost friend noah "Joseph Kavinsky isn’t someone I want you being around,” Declan added. “Don’t snort. I’m serious.” Ronan merely invested a look with as much contempt as he could muster. A lady reached over the top of Noah to pat Matthew’s head fondly before continuing down the aisle. She didn’t seem to care that he was fifteen, which was all right, because he didn’t, either. Both Ronan and Declan observed this interaction with the pleased expressions of parents watching their prodigy at work. Declan repeated, “Like, actually dangerous.” Sometimes, Declan seemed to think that being a year older gave him special knowledge of the seedier side of Henrietta. What he meant was, did Ronan know that Kavinsky was a cokehead. In his ear, Noah whispered, “Is crack the same thing as speed?” Ronan didn’t answer. He didn’t think it was a very church-appropriate conversation. “I know you think you’re a punk,” Declan said. “But you aren’t nearly as bad ass as you think you are.” “Oh, go to hell,” Ronan snapped, just as the altar boys broached the rear doors. “Guys,” Matthew pleaded. “Be holy.”

Gay Catholic streetracing farmer. Consumed by catholic guilt NOT because of the gay thing but because he can Create things in a way he thinks should be only God's business. Will literally roll up to mass on sunday morning still drunk and bloody.

THIS GOTH KID IS LITERALLY GOD. This is a god trapped in the body of a Catholic teen and if he ever stopped feeling Catholic guilt he’d end the world!!. How is your confession every week that you creating a whole new being? Babygirl the God is coming from inside the house

eldritch entity from beyond the mortal plane wants to be a Real Human Boy, becomes a real (ish!) human (ish!) boy, goes to mass every sunday

Gay boy got his crush an apartment above his church so he could have his two favorite things in one place

gay. I'm not caught up the the series but I went through the tag when the latest book came out and I remember seeing a quote that said he worried if his boyfriend would make it to heaven when he dies because of his agnostic tendencies.

Kid is like a dream warlock who creates psychic horrors and never goes to confession because why would he? and he’s gay

There are no words

basically ronan's powers are inherited from his dead father niall and it means he can bring anything from a dream into real life. so he's got this whole crisis about whether he is a living piece of blasphemy because men are not meant to have the powers of gods or whether he literally is god. which is not acceptable to him for a number of reasons but mostly because he hates himself. his love interest's name is adam and adam lives in a small apartment above a church which the book says focuses the objects of his worship neatly into one building. I love them both dearly. also, this entire page makes me feel like I'm going insane. Ronan Lynch believed in heaven and hell. Once, he’d seen the devil. It had been a low, late morning at the Barns when the sun had burned off the mist and then burned off the chill and then burned the edges off the ground until everything shimmered with heat. It never got hot in those protected fields, but that morning, the air sweated with it. Ronan had never seen cattle pant before. All of the cows heaved and stuck their tongues out as they frothed with the heat. His mother sent Ronan to put them in the shade of the cattle barn. Ronan had gone to the searing metal gate, and as he did, he’d glimpsed his father, already in the barn. Four yards away from him had stood a red man. He was not truly red, but the burned orange of a fire ant. And he was not truly a man, because of the horns and the hooves. Ronan remembered the alienness of the creature, how real it had been. Every costume in the world had gotten it wrong; every drawing in every comic book. They’d all forgotten that the devil was an animal. Looking at the red man, Ronan had been struck by the intricacy of the body, how many miraculous pieces moved smoothly in harmony, no different than his own. Niall Lynch had had a gun in hand — the Lynches had an enormous number of guns of all sizes — and just as Ronan had opened the gate, his father had shot the thing about thirteen times in the head. With a shake of its horns, the unharmed devil had presented its genitalia to Niall Lynch before bounding off. It was an image that had yet to leave Ronan. And so Ronan became a reverse evangelist. The truth burst and grew inside him, and it was laid upon him to share it with no one. No one was meant to see hell before they get there. No one should have to live with the devil. So many homilies on faith were ruined once you no longer required it for belief.

Our boy CHOOSES not to receive the Eucharist because he doesn’t believe he is worthy. The spiritual insight, the devotion, the fact that this teenager is worried he may have a mortal sin weighing on his soul…this boy isn’t just going through the motions, he’s putting work into this.

[puppy-phum]

not technically just bl, but top 5 gmmtv couples of the year 👯‍♂️

i know you said this was not restricted to BLs but that's what i went with anyway :'D also, i decided to pick CPs instead of on-screen couples bc i wasn't sure which one you meant here. i hope you're not disappointed!

-

My Top 5 GMMTV Couples of 2023

I. JimmySea (Jimmy Jitaraphol & Sea Tawinan)

ppl would probably be concerned if i didn't answer jimmy and sea. i've been here with them for over 1,5 years now and my love for them hasn't diminished at all. there's just something so comforting and genuine about them. their presence and their performances (on stage and on-screen) feel like a hug to me. i loved puentalay to bits, i am currently head over heels in love with morkday, and i keep hoping this isn't the end. gmmtv2024 part 2 will give us a new series with them bc they cannot just throw aside the depths these two have found for their relationship ♥

II. ForceBook (Force Jiratchapong & Book Kasidet)

witnessing their glorious comeback this year made me so happy. after an unjustified onslaught of hate and a long stay in gmm's basement, their chance to shine again was well overdue. enchanté and akktheo convinced me of their extraordinary chemistry, and this year forcebook truly outdid themselves in both of their series. guncher in a boss and a babe became very dear to me, and topmew showed sides of them i didn't know even existed. they've grown so much, and i hope the upcoming year only brings them more opportunities that let them shine even brighter ♥

III. OffGun (Off Jumpol & Gun Atthaphan)

probably my oldest bl actor cp. i first got to know them after theory of love where i absolutely adored khaithird. i know the majority (?) hated that show but i loved it to bits. i watched puppy honey soon after to see more of them, but never really felt too strongly about pickrome. i went around the internet to learn a bit about them as actors and people for a while but they never really stuck with me then. and then not me and seanwhite happened. offgun took over my heart again and i was truly sad when i thought not me would be their last bl. but then they announced cooking crush! and now we get the trainee too! and i just think my love for them will never end; they've been here with me through it all, in one way or another ♥

IV. PondPhuwin (Pond Naravit & Phuwin Tangsakyuen)

during the surge of bl in my life that begun with bad buddy (and maybe not me too), i binged a ton of other/older gmmtv (bl) series. fish upon the sky was one of them, and even if i never quite liked that series, i loved the chemistry between pond and phuwin. i've actually known phuwin since his acting debut under gmm (when he was a true baby) and was curious to see him with a new face. i was even more excited when i realized they would be getting a new chance with never let me go as palmnueng would introduce a very different type of setting for them. now they're very dear to me as i also came to know pond and especially phuwin as people ♥

V. MarcPawin (Marc Natarit & Pawin Thanik)

the black sheep of my 2023 that i never saw coming. honestly, i wasn't a big fan of my gear and your gown, and so i thought i was not hooked on these two. then they got their glorious comeback during the nlmg our skyy 2 eps and a whole ass tsunami were put in motion in my brain. the wave hit shore when they started getting side couple vibes in dangerous romance and finally got to kiss again. and now we have we are where these two are about to be one of the couples (still not sure if they're main or not). am obsessed. i love this comeback for them. i hope this carries them further than ittpai ever did ♥

Bonus: Mark Pakin + Everyone

i think my school president and his role as tiw started the rise of one mark pakin. after that, the year 2023 has truly been His Year. he's gone from tiw and being paired with ford to appearing as saleng in moonlight chicken where he was paired with view to then appearing again as tiw who was even more prominently with por (ford) to getting paired with neo in only friends as nick and now ending his year as night in last twilight where we've seen the first hints of him being paired with namtan. boy keeps changing partners like socks and it's absolutely brilliant bc he has chemistry with everybody. he's even teased new upcoming projects with a new partner (ohm thi?) and keeps saying he's truly fine with any partner and anyone we'd like to ship him with. an icon. a legend. i love him a lot.

-

thank you for sending this question to me jess! i hope this was anything like what you wanted to see ^^ i made some tough decisions here bc i also had several other couples/ppl i would've liked to point out after this year.

[lamaenthel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thank you for tagging me @ahsokathegray !!<3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25! 

2. What's your total A03 word count?

231k lmaoooo when did that happen I feel like I've been in a fugue state since February

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and technically, TECHNICALLY The Matrix but it's a Star Wars AU fusion lmao)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Porg Eyes, Princess For A Year, Ram'ser'ika, Better Than Nothing, The Contingency

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes every single one omfg I love everyone

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Well, Soft Dark Nothing is Ahsoka and Rex on the moon right after The Tribunal crashed so by default it's gotta be her (rip Jesse my beloved)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not Bad ends up with Snips n Skyguy going to Biscuit Baron lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet but I live in fear every day especially since I'm dipping my toe in the Republic Commandos pond and I know the girlies are passionate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do and it's ridiculously graphic HAHAHA no but there's a reason I haven't posted any Rexsoka smut. Makin y'all wait for it until they COMMIT, gotta keep that tension in there somewhere uwu. But wlw, mlw, mlm, aliens and cyborgs gonna work their way in there eventually (?) I have Not Out Loud, which is an mlm fic with Boba tying up Cal and facefucking him (Kesett nation rise)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Go Ask Ahsoka is the Matrix crossover that I wrote for AU August which I will eventually update lmfao

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but I would cry

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not like… technically but Erika is my beta and my bestie and she comes up with amazing ideas and lets me play with her OCs so honestly she counts (ilu)

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Rexsoka 💙🧡, closely followed by Anidala (burning down the galaxy for a single person is objectively WRONG but also hot)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Well Do Not Go Gentle is a huge fucking project that I HOPE I finish one day

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action. I enjoy it which helps lmao

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get really ahead of myself laying out hints and red herrings which I then forget about (Princess For A Year especially is the worst about this, I am so sorry for all of those hints about Sylen being a pretend Mandalorian I fucked up so bad with that one but I'm going to rewrite it eventually to bring back a bunch of my dropped subplots)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I enjoy it and do so regularly. Mando'a nuhur'shya ni ru'kar'tayli. And it makes my brain work in unexpected ways, it's like a puzzle trying to figure out the wacky ass baby's-first-conlang grammar that is Karen's creation (what the fuck kind of language doesn't have a passive voice)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

OKAY OKAY TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY????? It was the Lion King. I was in first grade and we had to write a little storybook and illustrate the pages they gave us with crayons and my story was How Simba Lost His Mane lmfaoooo

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I have poured my whole heart, soul, brain, and pussy into Tivaevae pls read it it's longer than The Hobbit

no pressure tags: @soliloquy-of-nemo, @tangledlichen, @ink-in-books, @hannah-schooler

[hollymbryan]

Blog Tour: Top 5 Reasons to Read DON’T ASK IF I’M OKAY by Jessica Kara!

Welcome to Book-Keeping and my stop on the TBR and Beyond Tours blog tour for Don’t Ask if I’m Okay by Jessica Kara! I’ve got all the details on this gorgeous contemporary book below, along with my top 5 reasons to read this one, so let’s go!

About the Book

title: Don’t Ask if I’m Okay author: Jessica Kara publisher: Page Street Kids release date: 16 May 2023

Heartfelt and bittersweet, this coming-of age story explores the tender space of healing where grief meets love

A year ago, Gage survived a car accident that killed his best friend, Hunter. Without the person who always brought out the best in him, Gage doesn’t know who he is. He likes working as a fry cook and loves his small-town friends and family, but they weren’t in the wreck and he can’t tell them how much he’s still hurting. He just wants to forget all his pain and move on.

So when his stepdad shows him a dream job opening in one of his idol’s restaurants, Gage knows this is his chance to convince everyone and himself that he’s fine. To try to push past his grief once and for all, Gage applies for the job, asks out a crush, and volunteers to host a memorial for Hunter.

But the more Gage tries to ignore his grief, the more volatile it becomes.

When his temper finally turns on the people he loves, Gage must decide what real strength is—holding in his grief until it destroys him, or asking for help and revealing his broken heart for all to see.

Content Warning: Loss of friend, PTSD, toxic masculinity

Add to Goodreads: Don’t Ask if I’m Okay Purchase the Book: Amazon | B&N | Bookshop.org

About the Author

Jessica Kara is a professional author and artist. With a BFA in technical theatre, she worked as a stage manager for eight years in regional theatres and on several national tours. Eventually she left the business to focus on writing, which has always called. She has served as President of her local writing organization, Authors of the Flathead, and is a member of the Society for Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators. She frequently speaks at local conferences, schools, and college classes, striving to inspire a new generation of writers to pursue their passions.

Jess has indie-published a young adult fantasy series featuring gryfon characters, and is excited to now dive into the pool of contemporary young adult fiction. She currently resides in northwest Montana with her husband, spends her time staring at the mountains, drinking a lot of coffee, dreaming up things and people, and chirping back at birds.

Her stories, whether fantastic or contemporary, are “noblebright” at their core, woven with a spirit of determined hope, belief in the power of kindness, and the faith that good will overcome.

Connect with Jessica: Website | Twitter | Instagram | Goodreads | Facebook

Top 5 Reasons to Read

Every once in a while a book comes along that you didn’t realize you needed in your life, and had no idea how much it would affect you, until you read it. In 2021, that book for me was What Beauty There Is by Cory Anderson, and this year it is absolutely THIS BOOK. Here are my top 5 reasons to read Don’t Ask if I’m Okay:

1. It’s the most honest, unflinching, tender exploration of grief I’ve read in a long time. 

2. It’s also an honest and unflinching look at toxic masculinity, how it can mess up our young boys, and how hard they must fight to escape it.

3. It has quite possibly the single best portrayal of a father figure (stepdad) that I’ve read in any YA novel, ever. Seriously, Jack -- I adore you with my whole heart.

4. It’s such a beautiful portrayal of teen friendship, especially between teen boys, and a recognition of how hard it can be for them to lean on each other, even when friends are there to catch them (which holds true for adults, as well!).

5. It’s a book that will rip your heart out, leaving you sobbing and snotty at midnight, and then patch it back together, leaving you smiling through your tears at 1:00 a.m. (this may or may not reflect my actual experience, lol).

I don’t want to say much more so as to avoid spoilers, but I will say this: I lost my sister to domestic violence 15 years ago this past January, and I STLL struggle with grief. Jessica Kara’s portrayal of grief as a circular progression from dark to light and back to dark again (ad infinitum) is so incredibly accurate that I was vigorously nodding along as I read. When Gage says that death isn’t a one-time loss but rather a new loss every time you wake up in the morning, every time something good happens and you want to run and tell the person who’s no longer with you, only to remember they’re gone...ugh. I was pregnant with my first and only child when my sister was killed, and I distinctly remember the day I walked in the house after work and he kicked for the first time and my first thought was, “oh my god, I have to call Krissy!” -- only to remember that wasn’t possible and that she would never know her nephew. 

I say all this to say, this book GETS IT. Ms. Kara GETS GRIEF. If you have a family member or friend struggling with grief and you don’t know what that’s like, read this book. If you are struggling with grief and you want some help healing or some validation that your own feelings are normal, READ THIS BOOK. I cannot recommend this highly enough, I’m honored to have read it, and it will go down as The Special Book of 2023 for me. I hope you’ll pick this one up, and please do let me know your thoughts. And if you ever want to talk about grief, or depression, or pain, or whatever, please know my DMs are open. “Lone wolves die alone.”

RATING: 5 stars! (I know this is not technically a review, but I couldn’t leave this off!)

**Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of this blog tour.

Check out the Bookstagram tour too! You can find my post here, and the full schedule is here.

[yisanged]

not a vent really. maybe sort of technically i've just had something to be annoyed about in like every class today at school. kill. and i was complaining and it just got really long you know me

uuughhhhhh i only did sort of alright on my english quiz and i probably bombed my math test i ran out of time and had to stay like 5 minutes after the next period started to finish it and while i was trying to get out there was some tall asshole standing in the middle of the aisle that was my only point of exit because our desks are pushed together into columns in that class and there was a cluster of people by the teacher's desk on the other side so i tried to get past him and accidentally pushed him a little and he turned around and was like hey you almost just knocked me over you could at least say excuse me all bitchy shut the fuck up you were all but yelling to your friend no way you would've heard me and you were the one blocking the only way out in the first place also i did say sorry you just didn't hear me cause again you were being loud and obnoxious. and during health some lady came in to tell us not to smoke but she decided to stand directly behind my desk for like half the presentation so everyone was looking towards me and she kept talking about "penis cancer" with that phrasing specifically and saying that cigarettes maim and kill you which is such strange wording. maim? and i kept giggling which was embarrassing cause everyone was looking. and during band i had to stay behind cause i had to practice playing my solo and ensemble piece with the piano accompaniment but i had to like carry all my stuff over to the next room and the bell rang just then and the director made a big deal of not letting anybody out until i got out but i had to like grab my reeds and put my bocal in the top and then get a good grip on my four foot long instrument that will fall apart if you grab it wrong and also i forgot to put my reed water back in the case so i still have it with me right now. also we need to play a chromatic scale for the judges at solo and ensemble but i fucking can't do that. i can go from low f to high d which is just shy of two octaves but that's iffy as is i keep fumbling two notes specifically so i don't know if i can extend it to a proper two octaves by the actual event which is saturday TWO fucking days from now at 10:50 am gross. and gym is just bad always and the asshole blocking my way is in my gym class awkward ew. and my bag strap is broken and keeps falling apart because it's cheap as hell and i need a new one but don't really want to buy one but it's stressful carrying it around at all because the school has a really strict no backpacks during class policy and our principal is pissy about it even though none of the teachers care and technically any bag big enough to carry all your books in are banned which includes mine but it's so stupid i don't have time to go all the way across the school to get my bag then get to where my bus is and the buses leave five minutes after the last bell rings on the dot and my dad works everyday but thursday now and can't pick me up if i miss it and it's kind of far to walk and especially to snowy to walk lately and uuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. sometimes i don't feel real when i'm at school i think back on my day and it feels like that that happened to another person that isn't me. i feel like that's a symptom of a problem but whateverrrrrr whatever. i'm functional so not like it matters at all

[starwinxie]

Career Tracks (Sims 2 BACC Rules)

Aside from running businesses, your sims can also join a typical job (in fact, I encourage it as it will bring in some money for the town more quickly). However, each career track has certain limitations and you will need to achieve certain goals in order to unlock them. There are also some career levels that will only be available to ONE sim at a time. (Example: Having more than one Mayor in the Politics career in the same town wouldn't make much sense.) The positions that can only be taken by one sim at a time are in bold italics. I use Cyjon's Job Stopinator to prevent sims from earning promotions, even if they're qualified. The way the mod works is you put the Job Stopinator item in the sim's individual inventory to prevent promotions. When you unlock a new career level or a position opens up, you can remove the Job Stopinator from their inventory to allow promotions again.

I also recommend the Edukashun Iz Gud mod which makes it so your sims can only reach certain job levels if they earned a degree from University and got good grades in high school. It adds some nice realism! However, your lucky Founder sims are the only ones exempt from these conditions since they are the ones who technically "start" the career in the town, if that makes sense XD (Example: you have a founder sim who opens a Health Clinic business. You would also put them into the Medicine career track. Since they are the one who started the clinic, they are allowed to progress to the top of the Medicine career ladder. But only that ONE sim. Any other playables or townies will need to obtain a degree to reach the top.) Something that makes it easier for me to keep track of a sim's career level, is this mod.

A couple of other mods that I use (I know, I know. I use a LOT of mods. But I really consider these ones essential.) are SimBlender and the Bat Box. Careful with the Bat Box, read it carefully and don't mess with stuff you don't need to! I use it to roll the pacifier when I have a pregnant sim to fix the First-Born Syndrome glitch, and to give my adult or pre-made sims University degrees so they are able to progress in their careers. Here is a cuter version.

All of that technical stuff out of the way...

Let's get to the jobs themselves. I've listed all of the available careers from every expansion, and they all have their own rule sets. (Credit to Didily’s Sims for a lot of these career rules!) I also included some custom careers for NPCs. (This makes it so your sim can be a gardener, maid, etc.) You can get these NPC careers here. (Note: I remove the Firefighter file, as I use a different Firefighter mod.)

ADVENTURER -  Available with a tropical Vacation Destination subhood connection once an Airport is built. (More on unlocking subhoods in the Subhood Connections post) Once in this career, the sim must go on a vacation once a sim year (4 seasons) and is allowed to bring their family along. 1. Ambassador's Intern 2. Spelunker 3. Multiregional Sim of Some Question 4. Deep Sea Excavator 5. Relic Liberator 6. Dread Pirate 7. Warhead Disarmer (unlocked with a Military Base) 8. Hostage Negotiator (unlocked with a Police Station) 9. International Sim of Mystery 10. Space Pirate

ARCHITECTURE - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available to everyone once a Home Improvement business is opened by the town Architect.   1. Cement Mixer 2. Brick Layer 3. Foreman 4. Head of Construction Company (unlocked once a Home Improvement store is built) 5. Architect's Apprentice 6. Draftsman 7. Architect 8. Architectural Partner 9. Master Architect 10. City Planner

ARTIST - Available once you have an Arts & Crafts store built. 1. Canvas Stretcher 2. Street Caricaturist (unlocked with a Downtown connection) 3. Souvenir Whittler 4. Comic Book Penciller 5. Wedding Photographer (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Photography Studio is built) 6. Art Forger (unlocked once the sim befriends someone in the Criminal career) 7. Fashion Photographer 8. Acclaimed Muralist 9. Conceptual Artist 10. Visionary

ATHLETIC - Available once you have a Sports Park with spectator seating (bleachers, chairs, etc.) built. You can have the Mayor pay for this lot or you may choose to have an athletic sim open a business selling sports equipment. 1. Team Mascot 2. Minor Leaguer 3. Rookie 4. Starter 5. All Star (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Stadium is built) 6. MVP 7. Superstar 8. Assistant Coach 9. Coach 10. Hall of Famer

BUSINESS - Available with a Downtown connection once you have a Post Office built. 1. Mailroom Technician 2. Executive Assistant 3. Field Sales Representative 4. Junior Executive 5. Executive 6. Senior Manager (unlocked once a Country Club is built) 7. Vice President 8. President 9. CEO 10. Business Tycoon (unlocked once the sim has 3 Top-Rank businesses of their own)

CRIMINAL - Available once a sim befriends a burglar or other criminal. 1. Pickpocket 2. Bagman 3. Bookie (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Stadium is built) 4. Con Artist 5. Getaway Driver (unlocked once a Gas Station/Convenience Store is built as well as a Car Dealership) 6. Bank Robber (unlocked once a Town Hall is built; my Town Halls work as banks for my sims) 7. Cat Burglar 8. Counterfeiter 9. Smuggler (unlocked once an Airport is built) 10. Criminal Mastermind

CULINARY - Available once a Fast Food/Takeout business is opened. This business opening will also unlock pizza or Chinese food delivery as long as the owner has a vehicle. 1. Dishwasher 2. Drive Through Clerk 3. Fast Food Shift Manager 4. Host/Hostess (unlocked once a sit-down Family Restaurant is built) 5. Waiter/Waitress 6. Prep Cook 7. Sous Chef (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Fine Dining Restaurant is built) 8. Executive Chef 9. Restauranteur (unlocked once the sim owns 3 restaurant businesses) 10. Celebrity Chef (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection; more on this in Subhood Connections)

DANCE - Available once a Dance Studio is built. 1. Aerobics Instructor 2. Backup Dancer 3. Jazzercise Instructor 4. Pop 'n Lock Performer (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Nightclub is built) 5. Dance Video Star 6. Interpretive Dancer 7. Tap Dancer 8. Ballroom Dancer (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection once a Theater/Ballroom is built) 9. Flamenco Master 10. World Class Ballet Dancer

EDUCATION - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once an Elementary School is built by the Mayor AND the first sim born in-game reaches childhood, but only for the first Teacher sim you create. No other positions will become available until your Teacher reaches Level 4. 1. Playground Monitor 2. Teacher's Aide 3. Substitute Teacher 4. Elementary School Teacher 5. High School Teacher (unlocked once a High School is built AND the first sim born in-game becomes a teen) 6. University Guest Lecturer (unlocked once a University is available) 7. High School Principal 8. College Senior Professor 9. College Dean of Students 10. Education Minister (once this Level is reached, a Private School can be built)

ENTERTAINMENT - Available with an Entertainment District connection once a Karaoke Bar is built. 1. Stand Up Comedian 2. Birthday Party Mascot (unlocked once a Party Supply shop is built) 3. Mime 4. Lounge Singer (unlocked once a Lounge is built in the Entertainment District) 5. Ventriloquist (unlocked once a Theater is built in the Entertainment District) 6. Round Table Knight 7. Juggler 8. Master of Ceremonies 9. Headliner 10. Prestidigitator

FIREFIGHTER - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Fire Station is built by the town Firefighter. The Fire Station sells smoke detectors and fire extinguishers to better prepare for fire emergencies. Your Fire Station should also have a small kitchen, a place to sleep, some fitness equipment, and a Firetruck of course! No other positions will become available until your Firefighter reaches Level 5. Anyone in this career must learn Fire Safety first. Here are some of the Firefighter-related mods that I am using: Firefighter Career, Firetruck, Electronics Crafting Station, and Custom Smoke Alarms. 1. Firefighter Recruit 2. Firefighter 3. HazMat Technician 4. Driver/Operator 5. Lieutenant 6. Captain 7. Battalion Chief 8. Assistant Fire Chief 9. Fire Chief 10. Fire Commissioner

GAMER - Available once an Arcade is built, but the sim must own a computer or gaming console. 1. Noob 2. Button Masher 3. Trash Talker 4. Gold Farmer 5. Flag Capturer 6. Platform Jumper 7. Power Leveler (unlocked once the sim owns the best computer available) 8. Real Time Strategizer 9. Guild Leader 10. Game Designer

INTELLIGENCE - Available once the Police Station and Science Lab are built. 1. Gumshoe 2. Private Eye 3. Crime Scene Investigator 4. Surveillance Operator 5. Reconnaissance Communicator 6. Rookie Field Agent (unlocked once the Military Base is built) 7. Field Agent 8. Double Agent 9. Elite Operative 10. Head of SCIA

JOURNALISM - Available once a High School is built and the first sim born in game becomes a teen. 1. Yearbook Club Supervisor 2. Blog Writer (unlocked once the sim owns a computer) 3. Internet Movie Critic (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Movie Theater is built) 4. Fact Checker (unlocked once a Newspaper Office is built) 5. Obituary Writer 6. Horoscope Writer 7. Sports Columnist (unlocked when a Sports Park is built) 8. Investigatory Journalist (unlocked when a Police Station is built) 9. Magazine Editor 10. Media Magnate

LAW - Available once the Town Hall is upgraded with a Court Room. 1. File Clerk 2. Law Firm Receptionist 3. Legal Secretary 4. Legal Biller 5. Paralegal (unlocked with a Downtown connection) 6. Personal Injury Attorney (unlocked once the Health Clinic is built) 7. Family Law Attorney 8. International Corporate Lawyer (unlocked with a Vacation Destination connection) 9. Entertainment Attorney (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection) 10. The Law

LAW ENFORCEMENT - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Police Station is built by the town Police Officer. The Police Station will sell burglar alarms to hopefully help prevent burglaries. No other positions will become available until your Officer reaches Level 5. 1. Security Guard 2. Cadet 3. Patrol Officer 4. Desk Sergeant 5. Vice Squad 6. Detective 7. Lieutenant (unlocked with a Downtown connection) 8. SWAT Team Leader 9. Police Chief 10. Captain Hero

MEDICINE - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Health Clinic is built by the town Medic. The Health Clinic works as a pharmacy that sells medicine and comfort soup for sick sims. No other positions will become available until your Medic reaches Level 5. Anyone in this career must learn Physiology first. 1. Emergency Medical Technician 2. Paramedic 3. Nurse 4. Intern 5. Resident 6. General Practitioner 7. Specialist (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Hospital is built; Hospital access allows sims to undergo fertility treatments and plastic surgery) 8. Surgeon 9. Medical Researcher 10. Chief of Staff

MILITARY - This career will work a little differently than the others, inspired by Didily’s Sims. This career track is available once a Military Base is built by the Mayor. The Military Base will act as its own separate community from the main hood. It will be its own subhood, same as a Downtown or a Shopping District. It will also have its own set of rules, which I will explain further in Subhood Connections. 1. Recruit 2. Elite Forces 3. Drill Instructor 4. Junior Officer 5. Counter Intelligence 6. Flight Officer 7. Senior Officer (Sim may now move into on-base private housing whether they are married or not) 8. Commander 9. Astronaut 10. General

MUSIC - Available once a Music shop is built. 1. Record Store Clerk 2. Piano Tuner 3. Coffee Shop Sound Engineer (unlocked once a Coffee Shop is built) 4. Summer Camp Music Teacher (unlocked once a Campground is built) 5. Battle of the Bands Judge (unlocked with an Entertainment District connection once a Concert Hall is built) 6. Roadie (unlocked when cars become available) 7. Studio Musician 8. Concert Pianist 9. Symphony Conductor 10. Rock God

NATURAL SCIENCE - Available once the Science Lab is built and the sim owns at least two caged pets. 1. Ratkeeper 2. Algae Hunter (unlocked once a pond lot is built) 3. Clam Wrangler (unlocked once a beach lot is built) 4. Scatmaster 5. Soil Identifier (unlocked with an upgrade to the Science Lab that adds a Natural Science wing) 6. Rogue Botanist (unlocked with a University connection) 7. Animal Linguist 8. Unnatural Crossbreeder 9. Dinosaur Cloner 10. Ecological Guru

OCEANOGRAPHY - Available once both a Beach and an Aquarium are built. 1. Fish Chummer 2. Dolphin Tank Cleaner 3. Sea Lice Research Assistant (unlocked once the Science Lab is upgraded with a Natural Science wing) 4. Dive Master 5. Underwater Demolitionist 6. Marine Biologist 7. Whale Tracker (unlocked with a tropical Vacation Destination connection) 8. Deep Sea Fisherman 9. Protector of Whales 10. Hand of Poseidon

POLITICS - This career was mostly explained in Making Your Founders. This career track is available once the Town Hall is built by the Mayor. The Town Hall can sell whatever you want or even act as another lot, such as a library, but for me it mainly acts as a place my sims can go to get married and bank online. I use Monique's Hacked Computers for these options. No other positions will become available until your Mayor reaches Level 5. 1. Campaign Worker 2. Intern 3. Lobbyist 4. Campaign Manager 5. City Council Member 6. State Assemblyperson (unlocked with a Downtown connection. At this point, I have my Mayor work on building a Career Services lot to help sims struggling to find jobs. As well as a Shelter for sims who who need a place to stay for cheap.) 7. Congressperson 8. Judge (unlocked once the Town Hall is upgraded with a Court Room) 9. Senator 10. Mayor

PARANORMAL - Available once alien abduction, resurrection, cheating death, ghost sighting, or other supernatural event occurs. 1. Psychic Phone Pal 2. Conspiracy Theorist 3. Tarot Card Reader (unlocked once an Occult shop is built, selling cauldrons, potions, and other supernatural items) 4. Hypnotist 5. Medium 6. Douser 7. Police Psychic (unlocked once the sim befriends someone in the Law Enforcement career) 8. UFO Investigator (unlocked once a Military Base is built) 9. Exorcist 10. Cult Leader

SCIENCE - Available once a Science Lab is built. 1. Test Subject 2. Lab Assistant 3. Field Researcher 4. Science Teacher (unlocked once an Elementary School is built) 5. Project Leader 6. Inventor 7. Scholar (unlocked once a University is available) 8. Top Secret Researcher (unlocked once a Military Base is built) 9. Theorist 10. Mad Scientist

SHOW BUSINESS - Available with an Entertainment District connection once an Acting Studio is built - they can sell clothing (pretend they're costumes XD), microphones (to practice their voice acting?), mirrors (for charisma of course), jewelry, etc. (I also like to include a Styling Station, so it can look like my sims are preparing for a scene lol) Sims in this career must live in the Entertainment District, if they truly want to make it in the business we call SHOW. 1. Screen Test Stand-In 2. Body Double 3. Bit Player 4. Commercial Actor/Actress 5. Cartoon Voice 6. Supporting Player 7. Broadway Star (unlocked once a Theater is built in the Entertainment District) 8. Leading Man/Lady 9. Blockbuster Director 10. Icon

SLACKER - Available once a Country Club is opened. I treat this business as a fancy restaurant/golf course/spa. (This downloadable lot is great inspiration.) I think this career would make the most sense to be unlocked later down the road, since the Country Club is mainly intended for the wealthier sims, but obviously you can do whatever you please. 1. Golf Caddy 2. Gas Station Attendant (unlocked once a Gas Station/Convenience Store is built) 3. Convenience Store Clerk 4. Record Store Clerk (unlocked once a Music shop is built) 5. Party DJ (unlocked once a club is built) 6. Projectionist (unlocked once the sim owns a computer worth at least $2,000) 7. Home Video Editor 8. Freelance Photographer (unlocked with a Downtown connection once a Photography Studio is built) 9. Freelance Web Designer 10. Professional Party Guest

NPC CAREERS - These are custom careers created by TashaFaun. (Note: I remove the Firefighter file, since I use a separate Firefighter mod.) 

Bartender (unlocked once a bar/pub is built; this will also unlock the Bartender service for sims to use)

Exterminator (unlocked once a roach infestation occurs in 3 different households; this will also unlock the Exterminator service for sims to use)

Gardener (unlocked for sims who have a Gold gardening badge; this will also unlock the Gardener service for sims to use as well as the Garden Club)

Maid (unlocked once a hotel is built; this will also unlock the Maid service for sims to use)

Pizza Delivery (unlocked once a Takeout restaurant is built as long as the owner has a vehicle; this also unlocks the delivery service)

Mail Carrier (unlocked once a Post Office is built)

Repair (unlocked for sims who have 5 Mechanical skill points; this will also unlock the Repair service for sims to use)

Social Worker (unlocked for sims who have learned Parenting and Anger Management, once there are at least 3 babies born in the town)

Taxi Driver (unlocked for sims who own a vehicle once the town has 20 community lots)

NANNY - I started using a custom Nanny mod by Lazy Duchess that allows your Teen/Elder sims to become a babysitter and also improves the quality of the nanny service. I also have the Watch Kids Enabled mod that allows your sims to ask their friends to babysit their kids for them. So if you want to skip the Nanny/Babysitter service altogether and have a friend or family member watch your sim’s children for free, you can! 

OTHER SERVICES - These are the remaining NPC services that I do NOT have custom careers for. However, I figured I would explain how to unlock the services and that this would be the best post to do it.

Butler (unlocked once a Country Club is built)

Garden Club (unlocked once the Gardener career is unlocked; see above)

Grocery Delivery (unlocked once the Grocery Store/Farmer’s Market is built and the owner has a car)

Matchmaker (unlocked once an Occult shop is built)

Obedience Trainer (unlocked once the Animal Shelter is opened)

PET CAREERS - Once an Animal Shelter is available and a sim owns a cat or dog, they are allowed to join a pet career under certain conditions. The pet’s career must go along with their owner’s career. I also have Custom Dog Harnesses that appear as service vests.

Security (unlocked for pets whose owners are employed in Law Enforcement)

Service (unlocked for pets whose owners are employed in Fire Service or Medicine)

Show Business (unlocked for pets whose owners are employed in Show Business)

And finally, I think that is all I have on careers for now! Let me know if you have any questions or need me to clarify anything :) 

[mediaevalmusereads]

A Dangerous Business. By Jane Smiley. Knopf, 2022.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction, mystery

Series: N/A

Summary: Monterey, 1851. Ever since her husband was killed in a bar fight, Eliza Ripple has been working in a brothel. It seems like a better life, at least at first. The madam, Mrs. Parks, is kind, the men are (relatively) well behaved, and Eliza has attained what few women have: financial security. But when the dead bodies of young women start appearing outside of town, a darkness descends that she can’t resist confronting. Side by side with her friend Jean, and inspired by her reading, especially by Edgar Allan Poe’s detective Dupin, Eliza pieces together an array of clues to try to catch the killer, all the while juggling clients who begin to seem more and more suspicious.

Eliza and Jean are determined not just to survive, but to find their way in a lawless town on the fringes of the Wild West—a bewitching combination of beauty and danger—as what will become the Civil War looms on the horizon. As Mrs. Parks says, “Everyone knows that this is a dangerous business, but between you and me, being a woman is a dangerous business, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise …”

***Full review below.***

Content Warnings: sexual content (including underage sex), spousal abuse, gore

Overview: I saw this book on a list of best historical fiction, and the premise seemed intriguing, so I picked it up. A duo of lady inspectors? Inspired by Edgar Allen Poe? Solving crimes in 1850s California? Sign me up! Unfortunately, I quickly found that it was nearly impossible to connect with the characters of this book, and even worse, I couldn't get invested in the plot. The reason had everything to do with Smiley's prose. I constantly felt like I was being held at arm's length and being told instead of shown everything in the narrative. On top of all that, I found Smiley's word choice to be too simple for my tastes and her syntax a bit awkward, so for those reasons, this book only gets 2 stars from me.

Writing: As I said above, Smiley's prose style did not resonate with me. Part of the reason was because Smiley was more interested in telling instead of showing, and another was that a lot of the character's thoughts and feelings were so mediated that I felt kept at arm's length. Smiley had the tendency to tell the reader point blank what characters were thinking and feeling ("Eliza was sad"), which meant that I didn't feel trusted to put things together on my own. Smiley also seemed to like using phrases like "Eliza thought that..." or "Eliza sae that..." Combined, these techniques gave me the impression that I was reading something almost middle grade or YA, but the story is very much for adults.

Moreover, there were some technical things about Smiley's prose that just didn't feel very well done. For one thing, Smiley uses a lot of very simple, basic descriptions - things like "her skin was dry" or "the body was wrinkled." There was little done to evoke an emotional response; everything was matter-of-fact and overly simplistic. Unfortunately, this also meant there was no mood, suspense, or anything else to keep me invested in the story.

Lastly, the simplistic word choice also meant that a lot of dialogue felt stiff. Whenever characters would converse, something didn't quite feel natural, and moreover, I never got the sense that Smiley was building any sort of emotional intimacy (not even between Eliza and Jean). As a result, it was incredibly difficult to feel invested in character relationships.

Plot: The plot of this book follows Eliza Ripple, a twenty-something year old prostitute who works to solve a series of murders in Monterey, CA in the 1850s.

What I appreciated about this plot was the way Smiley didn't demonize sex work. Eliza and her friend Jean (a fellow prostitute) seem very happy as sex workers, and it allows them an independence that they didn't have before. Eliza in particular finds it very liberating after being subject to abuse from her late husband, and I appreciated that her madam, Mrs. Parks, was supportive and didn't force them to take clients they didn't want.

That being said, there wasn't much else about the plot to get me hooked. There isn't a sense of urgency or suspense when Eliza is investigating the murders, which means that they don't feel very consequential or have much effect on Eliza's life (other than being a curiosity). Indeed, more time is spent showcasing Eliza's day to day life than her investigation, so the murders themselves didn't instill in me a sense of dread or make me feel Eliza was in any danger.

Moreover, the way Eliza goes about solving the mystery isn't exactly clever, which meant that I felt like Smiley was creating a mystery for younger readers. Eliza seems to go after "clues" that don't make much sense and she has little justification for doing so (for example, she sees a man hitting his wife so she decides to look for his footprints - why? What about him possibly connects him to the victims, especially when spousal abuse is common in this world?).

Lastly, I kept feeling like Smiley was trying to make some kind of commentary, either about being a woman or about slavery, but both topics were handled so simplistically that the effort didn't quite feel genuine. Characters talk about being women or about the morality of slavery, but the plot doesn't quite explore any of these topics (so, for example, the murders could be a commentary on misogyny in sex work, but Smiley doesn't really look too far into that). This also made a lot of the book feel YA or middle grade, since the message was so simple and without nuance.

Characters: Eliza, our protagonist, is sympathetic in that she is the victim of spousal abuse, but other than that, it was difficult to feel connected to her. Because of the prose style, I didn't feel like I was being invited to experience the world along with Eliza, but instead, I was being told about it and with very little emotional effect. On top of that, Eliza didn't strike me as particularly intelligent or clever, so I didn't quite understand why she was the one to solve the mystery of the Monterey murders. It wasn't even justified by saying her job makes her more "street smart," so to speak. Instead, she felt rather naive and depended on her friend, Jean, to navigate the world.

TL;DR: A Dangerous Business suffers greatly from an abundance of telling over showing, a poorly constructed mystery, and a not very bright protagonist. Though I appreciated that sex work was respected and that the novel tried to say something about women and slavery, none of the themes ultimately landed because the novel felt simply constructed, as if for a much younger audience.

Jean, Eliza's friend, is a little more interesting because she has the courage and agency to go after "clues" herself. Jean claims to be able to see ghosts and is incredibly curious about the murders to the point where she pursues leads on her own. Compared to Eliza, who goes to places to look for footprints for no reason, Jean has motivations that feel a bit more logical, and I think I would have much preffered a story where Jean was the Sherlock to Eliza's Watson.

Secondary characters were ok. I found the variety of Eliza's clients to be somewhat interesting, but Smiley didn't seem to be interested in using that variety to make a grander point or integrate it into a thematic aspect of the novel. Mrs. Parks, the madam, was fine, if a little boring. It's hard to really say whether or not any secondary character is well done because the prose and the plot are so simplistic that the characters feel listless.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

End of the line for Reaganomics

Reagan turned the country upside-down, in a very bad way. The “Reagan revolution” was indeed revolutionary (or, rather, counter-revolutionary), reversing a half-century of progress on social safety nets, workers’ rights, and environmental protections.

When we take stock of the Reagan years, we tend to focus on the actions that had immediate effect, like dismantling labor protections or the racist, homophobic refusal to confront the AIDS pandemic.

But for my money, the most profound act of the Reagan revolution was a slow-burner that has quietly chugged along for four decades, profoundly reshaping American society and the world. It’s a wonky, technical change, largely overlooked in our political discourse.

That change? The “consumer welfare” theory of antitrust enforcement.

Prior to Reagan, US antitrust enforcers relied upon a theory of “harmful dominance,” cracking down on monopolies when their scale allowed them to hurt workers, or the environment, or suppliers.

Harmful dominance is the theory that unaccountable power is dangerous — that giving corporate leaders control over the market lets them pervert the political process and inflict harms on the rest of us in ways that are hard to detect and even harder to prevent.

That principle created a policy that was designed to keep companies weaker than the democratically accountable state, rather than allowing them to grow so large that the could capture their regulators and start to write their own regulations.

Reagan nuked “harmful dominance,” replacing it with radical theories from one of Nixon’s top crooks, Robert Bork, whose book THE ANTITRUST PARADOX advances a conspiracy theory about US antitrust — that the framers of these laws never meant to protect us from monopoly at all.

Bork said that a the true purpose of antitrust law was — and always had been — “consumer welfare.” He said that so long as a monopoly didn’t use its market power to raise prices, that was fine -even if its scale let it screw workers, or suppliers, or whole communities.

This was a profound shift, because under “consumer welfare,” companies were allowed to grow big through sleazy, previously prohibited maneuvers like buying up or merging with all the competition, or creating vertical systems that boxed in their customers from all sides.

“Consumer welfare” had deep-pocketed corporate backers, who spread Bork’s conspiracy theory far and wide. For example, the Manne Seminars — summer “continuing education” junkets in Florida for judges — re-reeducated 40% of the US federal bench on Bork’s theories.

These seminars, along with decades of dark-money endowed economics chairs and think-tank activism changed the theory of competition regulation around the world — even in the EU, where the law explicitly rejects consumer welfareism, but lawmakers behave as if it embraced it.

Consumer welfare was bipartisan, embraced by every administration, R or D, since Reagan (in general Dems became more Reaganite over this period, culminating at the 2016 DNC where candidates vied to declare themselves Reagan’s true heir).

https://crookedtimber.org/2016/07/30/philadelphia-stories-from-reagan-to-trump-to-the-dnc/

The result: a world where between 1–5 companies dominate nearly every industry, from pharma to eyeglasses, finance to accounting, shipping to hotels, health to mobile OSes — movies, music, books, telecoms, hospitals, pro wrestling, and on and on.

https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers

These companies don’t need to compete for workers or customers, and therefore extract vast sums for their shareholders. Some of that money is retained to buy off their regulators, allowing them to grow more powerful still.

Not only that, but these concentrated companies are able to arrive at a common bargaining position and wield it against the world’s democratic legislatures — when everyone who runs an industry can fit around a single table and hammer out an agreement, they often do.

Most of this happened so slowly that we didn’t realize it was happening at all, but not with tech. Tech is an industry that grew up with Reagan (literally, the Apple ][+ was born the same year as the Reagan presidential bid), and it was monopoly’s coalmine canary.

In a single generation, tech’s exuberant dynamism — where yesterday’s giants could be toppled by today’s spunky garage startups — turned into a calcified monoculture, “five giant websites filled with screenshots of text from the other four.”

https://twitter.com/tveastman/status/1069674780826071040

After 40 years of dominance, consumer welfare is dying. Biden’s July 9 “Executive Order on Promoting Competition in the American Economy” is a terrifyingly technical, 72-point program for dismantling consumer welfare and reviving harmful dominance.

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/07/09/executive-order-on-promoting-competition-in-the-american-economy/

The Biden admin clearly consulted with public interest groups for these technical directives, people who are right at the coalface of the way that monopolies are destroying lives, who know exactly which levers to pull to shut it down.

This is especially true in tech, as I write in my latest piece for EFF’s Deeplinks blog: “Party Like It’s 1979: The OG Antitrust Is Back, Baby!”

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

And because personnel are policy, I also discuss the revolution in anttitrust leadship that accompanied the executive order: Lina Khan running the FTC, Tim Wu in charge of White House tech competition, and Jonathan Kanter running antitrust for the DoJ.

“We are living through a profound shift in what kinds of companies are allowed to exist and what they’re allowed to do. It’s a shift for the better. We know nothing is assured. The future won’t fix itself. But this is an opportunity, and we’re delighted to seize it.”

[scuttling]

Lean on Me

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Gender Neutral Reader Word Count: 4,717 Tags: SFW, Fluff, 5+1 Trope, Obliviousness, Mutual pining, Aaron Hotchner deserves good things, Canon typical injury Summary: Five times you want to kiss the frown off of your boss's face, and one time you actually do it. *Requested by Anon. Link to AO3 or read below! “It doesn’t make sense.”

You stick a tack in a photo of a murdered woman—unfortunately one of many you’ve stuck to this board—and turn to face Hotch, who is looking over your handiwork with a quizzical expression.

“What doesn’t?” He takes a few steps closer, crosses his arms in front of him.

“Why would the unsub leave his comfort zone? The first six abductions occurred within five miles of the college, so why did the seventh and eighth happen almost twelve miles away?” He reaches for the board, traces his finger along the circle Reid had colored in on the map. “We profiled that he’s disorganized and far from confident, so why would he do that?”

He looks over at you, frowns, and not for the first time your gaze is drawn to the little crease between his eyebrows that always forms when he is puzzled, worried, confused, stressed, or otherwise unhappy. In short, it’s there kind of all of the time.

For the first time, though, you think of how easy it would be to lean over, press your lips there, smooth it out, and maybe even get him to smile for a change. He has a great smile, when he lets people see it.

You shake the daydream, rewind back to the question he asked, and wrinkle your nose in thought.

“Maybe his circumstances changed? It's summer now, and there are still classes, but students aren’t living in the dorms. Maybe he moved back home or got an apartment off campus that’s within that area—or a job.” He sighs, runs a hand over the back of his head, nods.

“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that. That’s good. I’ll mention it to the others.” He pulls out his phone, and you grab another photo, another thumbtack, but something stops you and you lay a gentle hand on his arm.

“You don’t have to think of everything, you know. That’s why you have us.” He exhales, his shoulders losing a little of their tension, and that forehead wrinkle gets a little less deep.

“Sometimes I forget that not everything needs to be done the hard way. Or by me.”

“What? You, Aaron Hotchner, doing things the hard way?” you tease, and you are gifted a glimpse of his rare, unfiltered smile.

“Okay, enough pointing out my flaws,” he says with a raised eyebrow, though he’s still smiling, and as he looks down to type out a text, you remember to pull back your hand.

“I would never.” He looks up from his phone at that—maybe at the conviction in your voice, which you hadn’t exactly intended—and his expression softens further.

“I know you wouldn’t.” You hold eye contact for a moment, and then turn to finish preparing the board, pinning up another photo of another woman and reminding yourself that they need you to focus on the task at hand. Two weeks later, you knock on Hotch’s office door, a stack of completed consults in your hand. He looks up, that familiar notch in between his brows, a scowl on his face; when he sees that it’s you, he tones it down a little.

“Draw the short straw?” he asks, and you figure that’s because everyone knows he is in a bad mood and they’ve been avoiding this office all day. You shrug.

“It was rock, paper, scissors, but yes.” He huffs a short laugh, and you smile, step toward his desk. “Anything I can do to lighten the load?”

“Technically you’re adding to it,” he says with a glance at the files in your hand, and you set them on one of the chairs with a purposefully loud thump and then take the other seat.

“Technically. But technically, you only need to review my consults; I can review theirs. Right?” He mulls it over a moment, like the thought never crossed his mind—of course Aaron I have to do everything myself Hotchner would never suggest such a thing, even as the team sits in the bullpen with nothing to do, seeing who can throw M&Ms into Spencer’s mouth from the furthest distance.

“Technically,” he agrees, and you pluck a pen out of his pen cup and take the first file off the pile, open it in front of yourself, careful not to cut into the workspace he’s occupying. You both smile softly down at your work, and you actively do not think about that wrinkle between his eyebrows.

About an hour later, he reaches for his mug out of habit but finds it empty; you stand, take it in your hand, and he makes a noise of protest.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” you say, and you walk toward the door. “I need some too. I’ll be right back.”

You pass through the bullpen—apparently the M&M contest led to a sugar crash, because Spencer is laying with his head on his desk—and grab your cup off your desk, take both to the break room to fill them.

Derek appears next to you as you’re stirring your sugar in.

“Coffee date with the boss?” he asks with a curious expression, and you shake your head.

“Of course not. I’m helping him with the overwhelming amount of paperwork on his desk so his mood improves, instead of just ignoring him.” You raise an eyebrow in challenge, and Derek scratches the back of his head.

“Never thought of that,” he admits, and you pat him on the arm and take your coffees back upstairs.

Hotch looks up at you as you set his mug down, says a soft thank you, and you grab the pile of files you brought up, separate them, and head back downstairs.

“You review mine,” you say to Derek, handing him a stack, “Emily take Spencer’s, Spencer take Derek’s, I’ll take Emily’s.” They look at you like they have no idea what to say, and you just smile, tap the top of Spencer’s head with a folder. “I’ll come back down and grab them in a little bit.”

“Yes, boss,” Emily says, and you grin on your way back upstairs. Hotch is standing when you arrive this time, looking out the window over the bullpen.

“What did you do?” he asks, turning to you, frowning again. You’re so close that kissing that wrinkle would be effortless. All you’d have to do is lean in.

You smile.

“I delegated, Hotch. You should try it some time.” You put your hands on his arms and guide him back to his desk. “Now what can I help you with?”

By the end of the day, his desk is clean and his bad mood is long gone. He closes the last of his files, sighs deeply, covers your hand with one of his, and says thank you.

The next morning when you come in, there is a steaming latte and a cookie on your desk, and you can’t stop smiling the rest of the day. Your next case is draining, children abducted and left for dead, and everyone is on edge, but no one more than Hotch. You’re fairly certain his face hasn’t relaxed since the initial briefing, and he’d be a prime candidate for the old ‘your face will get stuck like that’ joke, if anyone was up to joking.

The team catches the unsub, saves one child, but not until after three are dead; you take a late flight home because no one wants to stay another night in a town it feels like you’ve failed, and everyone curls up to get some rest except you and Hotch.

You try to read the book you brought along—a science fiction dystopian novel, something to get you out of your head and away from real life problems—but you’re a little distracted by Hotch’s sighing. It’s become an every-five-minutes thing, and while you’re definitely on board with sighing as a way to decompress, he’s not decompressing. He looks like he’s in pain mentally, exhausted physically; you’re not sure how everyone else was able to ignore it and go to sleep, but then you figure everyone else may not be as in tune with him as you are. As observant.

As in love.

Not that that matters: you know your issues, and some of his issues, and there’s the whole superior/subordinate thing which doesn’t really do anything for you except give you a stomach ache. It would never work out, even if he somehow, miraculously, were to love you back—and that’s a pretty big if in and of itself.

But still, you notice him, can’t help it, and the sighing is getting to be a little much. You sigh yourself, put your finger in between the pages of your book, and walk over to take the seat next to him; he looks over at you, frowning just like always, and you carefully close his file and set it aside.

Neither of you say anything to the other, just look each other over for a moment, and then you lean lightly against his shoulder and flip back to the beginning of your book.

“I still dream of the island. I sometimes approach it across water, but more often through air, like a bird, with a great wind under my wings. The shores rise rain-coloured on the horizon of sleep, and in their quiet circle the buildings: the houses grown along the canals, the workshops of inkmasters, the low-ceilinged taverns.”

You keep your voice low and soothing, and you are just turning to page fifteen when you feel the weight of his head drop onto your shoulder.

The crease between his eyes melts away in sleep.

You read until you make it home, and you wake him up with a gentle nudge before the rest of the team drifts back to consciousness. He looks at you, blinks slowly like he’s trying to remember where he is, and then gets a little sheepish when he puts two and two together, realizes he fell asleep on your shoulder.

You just shake your head, give his arm a squeeze, and head back to your seat to gather your things. You, Hotch, and Emily are catching the elevator to the parking garage—after staying two hours later to work on some rush consults straight from Strauss—when he looks at something on his phone that makes him groan aloud. You and Emily share a look, and you ask what’s wrong.

“I just remembered I’m supposed to have a treat for Jack to take to school tomorrow and it’s, what, seven thirty?”

“So just stop at the supermarket on your way home; no one can tell the difference anyway,” Emily says, but you and Hotch both shoot her a skeptical glance.

“It’s all about the treats at a school like Jack’s,” you supply, and Hotch looks over at you like he’s surprised by your comment. “If they’re not homemade, the parents talk. Plus there’s probably an allergen list a mile long: no nuts, no eggs, no soy, no dairy. You have to pick him up from Haley’s tonight, right?” You’re pretty sure, but when he nods he confirms it. “So pick him up, go home and get some dinner, put him to bed, and I’ll text you when I’m on my way over with the goods. I have a great recipe for vegan apple cinnamon muffins that will go over really well.”

“You really don’t have to do that; I’ll figure something out,” he says, but you just shake your head and pull up the recipe on your phone.

“Forget it, it’s already done. I have everything I need at home already; let me help,” you murmur softly, and when he looks at you with the furrowed brow that comes with accepting kindness from someone else, you almost forget it’s not just the two of you in the elevator. It’s only when Emily clears her throat that the eye contact breaks. He nods.

“Okay. Thank you; I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” The elevator dings and it stops at the parking garage; the three of you get off and head in separate directions for your cars. “I’ll text you.”

“Goodnight,” Emily says with a grin, and you wave at her, hop into your car, and head for home.

About two hours later, you show up at Hotch’s door with two dozen apple cinnamon muffins, and unbleached, whole wheat flour in your hair, and he has coffee brewing, a smile on his face.

“You don’t know how grateful I am,” he says as he ushers you into the kitchen, takes the boxes of muffins from your hands, and pours you a cup of dark, delicious coffee. You sip it slowly, savoring the taste—you should have known he’d have incredible coffee—even though it’s far too late for you to be indulging. Unless you’re working a case, you usually switch to decaf by three.

“I know you are. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think you’d appreciate the gesture.” You lean forward, open a box, and pull out two muffins, handing one to him. “I made a couple extra so we could taste test; if I accidentally put salt in instead of sugar, you’re on your own,” you joke, and you wait for him to taste it before taking your own bite.

“That’s delicious. There’s really nothing unapproved in here?” he asks, and you shake your head.

“Nope, it’s all healthy and allergen free, except for the flour, but that wasn’t on the list you sent.” He reaches a hand toward you, and you don’t realize, at first, that he’s brushing the flour out of your hair.

“Messy baker,” he teases, and your heart feels really full, being in his kitchen like this, warm muffins and fresh coffee, even if your hair is a mess. You smile, and he smiles back before dropping into that serious expression, eyebrow wrinkle and all. You think about brushing your lips there tonight, but this feels like two steps forward, and you don’t want to risk taking that step back. “Next time I’ll help you.”

“Oh, next time? You plan on needing my baking expertise again? Fair warning, this is the only recipe I know, so I hope you like apple cinnamon muffins.” You take a sip of your coffee, look up at him, and he takes another bite, nods his head.

“I do. Especially these.”

In a perfect world, what comes next would be a cinnamony, coffee flavored kiss, but the world’s not perfect, and you yawn instead. You look down at your mug like it’s betrayed you, and Hotch chuckles low.

“It’s decaf. I know you usually stop in the afternoon; I wouldn’t forgive myself if you were up all night because of me.” You have always been a person who falls in love with all the little details about someone, so the fact that he’s noticed this, remembers this, makes your heart beat a little faster. “I should let you go. You’ve done so much today, between staying late and baking for Jack—for me. You need to get some sleep.”

He’s right, it’s nearly ten, and you should be getting back home, but this is a moment you never want to end.

You just nod, though, and he reaches out to brush his hand over your back when he walks you to the door.

“Thank you again. I really appreciate that you did this for me,” he says, soft, like he still can’t imagine you would.

“You’re welcome, Hotch. Any time, really; I’m happy to help.”

You get home, clean your kitchen, and have a very late dinner, and the smell of good coffee and apples and cinnamon is still in your nose when you drift to sleep. “You didn’t hear what he said,” Hotch snaps almost a month later, with one hand splayed on his hip and the other on the table in front of him. The moment you saw him engaged in an argument with a member of the Sheriff’s department, fire in his eyes, you’d grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into a small conference room, shutting the door behind you. It took almost three minutes of staring at each other for him to say something instead of just glaring at you for interrupting the pissing contest.

“I don’t need to know what he said. I know you, and I know you handle people like that with a quick, sharp remark and then you wash your hands of it. You don’t argue back and forth, you don’t draw it out. You would have regretted it if you did that today, so I stopped you.”

“You think you know me so well, do you?” he asks in an unkind tone of voice you can’t identify, haven’t heard from him before; the expression on his face is familiar, though, a scowl that only puts emphasis on his handsome features—it’s unfair, really.

You exhale, cross your arms.

“Yes, and I know you well enough to know you’re irritated with him, not me, so cut the shit.”

It’s the first time you’ve ever been quite that direct with him, and certainly the first time you’ve ever sworn at him; your immediate instinct is to apologize, but he surprises you by huffing a laugh. The angry lines of his face smooth into something softer.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. He just—I can’t stand people like that.” He scrubs a hand through his hair in irritation. “We’re here to work—to do a job they couldn’t finish on their own. Not to be… objectified.” He mutters the last word, so low you almost don’t hear it, and then there’s a knock at the door. Derek enters.

“Sheriff wants a word, Hotch; do you have a sec?” With one last look at you, he nods, brushes past him to leave the room. Derek gives you the barest hint of a smile. “He was defending your honor, you know.”

You frown. You didn’t know.

“That jerk was talking about me?” you ask, clarifying, and he nods.

“Something about assuming you’re an athlete because he likes your ass. Set the boss man off.” You walk over to him and leave the room together, heading back to your workspace.

“Well Hotch is right, we’re here to work, not to be objectified. I can see how he would get angry.” Derek shoots you a flat, questioning glance.

“You think he’d be getting that worked up if it was my ass that guy was talking about? Or Emily’s?” The two of you stop outside the conference room, and you cross your arms, lean against the doorframe, frown.

“So what are you trying to say? That he sees me as being weak, thinks he needs to defend me? I'm as capable as either of you.” That may not be strictly true, because you’re a little more brains than brawn, like Spencer in that way, but you can hold your own and you thought Hotch knew that.

Derek just laughs, shakes his head, and ducks into the room. You follow, so confused.

“I thought you were just playing it close to the vest, but you’re oblivious, aren’t you?”

“Oblivious about what?” Emily asks, pen between her teeth, feet kicked up onto a chair, and you shrug.

“I’m still not sure. Hotch got into an argument with a deputy about me, and I asked Derek if Hotch thinks I’m weak and that’s why he felt like he had to defend me.” She smiles broadly around the pen, pulls it out of her mouth with a grin.

“Oh, honey. That’s not it. You know that’s not it, right?”

“I clearly don’t know what’s going on at all, so no, if you’d care to enlighten me,” you say, sinking into an empty chair. “I hate it when you guys are cryptic.” You love your team, but they have a habit of doing this all the time, saying things to each other with their eyes, or just a few words that don’t have any sensible meaning that you know of. It’s like they live to talk over your head, to say things without actually saying them.

“Okay. Hotch has a thing for you,” Emily says simply, and you blink.

Well that’s the very last thing you’d expected to hear.

“He absolutely does not.” You look at Derek, who’s making a face like you’re the one being crazy; you laugh out loud, can’t help it. “He does not. I’m pretty sure Hotch doesn’t have things, and if he did, he wouldn’t have a thing for me.”

“Why not? Because that would be too convenient, since you have a thing for him too?” Derek asks, taking the seat across from you, and you grab the nearest case file, flip it open and focus your attention on it.

“I care about him, the same way I care about all of you, and he maybe needs a little more care—but you guys are reading into things.”

Thankfully, you don’t have to say anything more, because Hotch, JJ, and Spencer return, and you all have a lead to work.

You can’t help but wonder if you’re being obvious about your feelings, though, especially later, when you get back to the hotel and the group decides to have a drink at the bar.

JJ and Emily hit the pool table while Derek and Spencer head up for drinks, and you are left sitting with Hotch at the table, pressed together in the inside corner of a booth.

“Tired?” you ask him, because he does look worn out, his tie a bit loose, his eyes a little red. You know he doesn’t get much sleep when you travel, and you can’t imagine he’ll go to bed even when this little detour is over.

“Always,” he sighs, but when he looks over at you, he smiles, just a little. “Just can’t wait to get out of this town.”

“Yeah, it gives Southern hospitality a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?” The people you’ve interviewed today are, on paper, quite respectable, but there’s a Desperate Housewives, ‘everyone is sleeping with someone else's spouse’ kind of thing going on, and it’s honestly exhausting. To your surprise, Hotch laughs.

“It really does. I don’t think I’ve ever missed the quiet solitude of my apartment quite this much.” You lean back against the vinyl of the booth, sigh.

“I miss my apartment, but it’s been too quiet lately. I prefer the sounds of someone else sharing space with me: the coffee maker percolating, the news in the background, the shower running, the sound of flipping the pages of a book or magazine.” You look down at your hands, because you’re getting a little more emotional than you usually let other people see. “Sorry. I’m not typically this open about being…”

You trail off, but Hotch looks over at you, concerned, the wrinkle between his eyebrows even more noticeable when you’re sitting this close. You think, just briefly, of running your thumb over it, but with your luck, Derek or Emily would see, and you’d never live it down.

“Lonely?” he finishes softly, and when you nod your head, he covers your hands with one of his own, bumps his shoulder against yours. “I get lonely too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” You look up at him, feeling a little vulnerable, and his expression softens. “When we get back, maybe you could come over for dinner some night. Nothing fancy,” he clarifies, and you smile, “just two lonely people being a little less lonely.”

“That would be really nice.” You can see Derek and Spencer approaching out of the corner of your eye, and Hotch must too, because he removes his hand, slips back into the slight, persistent frown you have come to know and love. Derek looks at you, raises an eyebrow, and hands you your beer. You try to tell him to shut up with your face, plan to follow up later to see if that actually worked. “We have an agent down on the second floor,” Spencer says into his comms, and you immediately want to slap him in the back of the head.

“Don’t say agent down, kid; I’m like, slightly wounded at best.” You hold a hand against the stab wound on your side—the unsub honestly just grazed you, and you’d knocked him out with a single punch, which made you feel pretty awesome—and reach out the other so he can help pull you to your feet. Your hand comes up to your own walkie button. “I’m not down, I’m fine—just slightly stabbed,” you add, and Spencer is getting his cuffs on the unsub when Hotch and JJ burst through the doors.

Well, Hotch bursts. JJ follows behind looking strangely winded for one of the most naturally athletic people you know.

“What happened? Are you alright?” he asks, and you lift your shirt to show him the sluggishly bleeding gash.

“I’m fine, see? It’s not even deep. Spencer saw blood and got a little ahead of himself.” You turn to Spencer, who sticks out his tongue, then back to Hotch, who looks haunted and pale, with that goddamn wrinkle between his eyebrows again. He’s bent down, looking over your wound seriously—you’ve had worse, so much worse, that you don’t understand why he’s so worried about it—and then he leans up, presses a hand to your cheek, and pulls you close for a soft, tender kiss.

If this were a movie, right about now a camera would be panning around you in a circle, as you wrap your free hand around his neck, pull him closer, melt against his body like it’s all you’ve been dreaming of for months, and the two of you would break apart smiling, maybe even kiss again.

It’s not a movie, though, so you just bleed out against your hand and freeze, because Hotch is kissing you at a crime scene and you almost got filleted, so you’re not sure if this is a you got hurt, so I’d better kiss you kiss or an I’ve been wanting to kiss you forever, and you got hurt so I have to kiss you kiss.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both breathing a bit heavily, and you don’t know what to do, so you just lean in and press your lips to that wrinkle between his eyebrows that you’ve been thinking about so frequently since the first time you noticed it. You brush a hand through his hair, and when you pull back, he’s smiling.

“What was that?” He covers your hand on your side with his own and helps get you toward the elevator so you can be patched up by the EMTs; JJ and Spencer are left staring, open-mouthed in your wake, with an unconscious unsub at their feet, but neither of you are concerned about that.

“I’ve been thinking of doing that for months now: to kiss that spot between your eyes so you’ll stop frowning for a change. Since I couldn’t, I decided to find other ways to help you stop frowning so much. It kind of became my life’s mission.” He sighs, puts his arm around you and holds you close while you wait for the elevator to bring you to the ground floor.

“I stop frowning when you’re around because you’re around, not just because of the things you do for me,” he tells you, and he presses his lips to yours for another warm, soft, perfect kiss. “I’ve been thinking of doing that for months now.” You tilt your head, make a sound of contemplation, and he chuckles softly. “What is it?”

“I think those cryptic idiots we work with might be onto something,” you say with a grin, and when the elevator lets you off and Hotch helps you toward the ambulance to be patched up, Derek and Emily are waiting with concerned looks on their faces. They must be pretty confused to see you’re grinning from ear to ear. “Hey, you guys were right; Hotch does have a thing for me!” you call as you walk past them, and when your wound is properly dressed and wrapped, you put your arms around his neck and let him kiss you until the frown and accompanying wrinkle are nothing but distant memories.

*The novel excerpt is from The Weaver by Emmi Itäranta.

Taglist ❤️: @thaddeusly @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc @wishuhadstayed

[cocochannel00]

The Azoff Family: A Case Study on one of the Music Industry’s Most Connected Families

(ft. a breakdown of the Grammy voting process and problems)

This is very long so I will try and split it up into categories for everyone (sorry I got carried away- I spent like 2 hours writing this) but enjoy!

*Disclaimer: I want to preface while the majority of this is based in research, some parts may be speculation. I don’t know the family personally so I can’t tell you what goes on behind closed doors but I can tell you how parts of the entertainment/music industry work. I’ve had 5 internships in the industry (one in marketing at one of the big record labels) and the rest of my work is publicity (what I enjoy) and events and a former advisor used to run in the same circles as Irving Azoff (and he spilled some tea last year) I’m not out here to diminish the hard work of any artists or their teams, I’m simply here to showcase parts of the industry that aren’t always shown.*

Please also see: Story Time: How Fan Pages Directly Impact Columbia Records Decisions and Harry Styles Image

IRVING AZOFF: NEVER STOP THE GRIND

Let’s begin with the great business man himself Mr. Irving Azoff Irving Azoff is the literal posture child for connections and power in the music industry (he was also inducted into the 2020 rock and roll hall of fame class which is like a huge fucking deal for a manager to be inducted so you know he's the real deal)

In conclusion, I love Irving Azoff and his drive.

Irving Azoff: Early Years Run Down:

He came up middle class (dad was a pharmacist, mom a bookkeeper) in Danville, Illinois

He dropped out of college to run a small Midwestern concert-booking empire and managed local acts in the era

Opportunity came knocking and he got the chance to manage the Eagles and the rest is history

He's one of the best negotiators and has negotiated business on behalf of stars like Stevie Nicks, the Eagles, and Jimmy Buffet

Azoff has been an incredible manager and his drive to always advocate for his clients while basically not giving two sh*ts about what people think of him has gotten him the incredible reputation he has today.

All of Irving Azoff’s Major Job Positions:

Former President MCA (major label)

Former CEO of Ticketmaster and executive chairman of Live Nation Entertainment, the behemoth formed from Ticketmaster’s merger with Live Nation.

In 2013 he and Cablevision Systems Corp. CEO and New York Knicks owner James Dolan formed a partnership, Azoff MSG Entertainment (Currently still CEO)

----> Azoff also ran the Forum in Inglewood under Azoff MSG Entertainment after MSG purchased it in 2012 (it was sold in 2020 to the owner of the Clippers) — why do you think Harry played the forum for the Fine Line show? Azoff connection

Azoff MSG Entertainment encompasses all of the other companies including Full Stop Management, Global Music Rights (performance-rights org), and the Oak View Group (arena developing company)

He also is the co-founder and manager of the lobbying group Music Artists Coalition, a group that helps lobby for artists-rights issues such as royalty rates, copyright issue and healthcare insurance (see he's not all bad)

Essentially what I'm getting at is this man knows anybody who's anybody. He's the man you want on your team to help promote your music, plan your tour, and get you on that Grammy nom list.

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JEFFREY AZOFF: THE CHILD OF NEPOTISM

So for those of you that don't know, Jeffery Azoff is Harry's current manager and the son of Irving Azoff (the third of four kids). He's currently a partner at Full Stop Management, the company owned by Irving and the one artists such as Harry, Haim, the Eagles, Kings of Leon, and Meghan Trainer are signed to.

Jeffrey graduated from the University of Colorado's Leeds School of Business and started working fresh out of college at his father's old Management company (Frontline Management) working under Maroon 5's manager Jordan Feldstein (the only way you get that kind of internship/job as a 21 year old fresh out of college is if your family or family friends gives it to you). He worked here for 5 years.

Direct Quote from Irving Azoff to Jeffrey (really tells you a lot): "Listen carefully, because I’m going to say this one time. You have a phone and you have my last name. If you can’t figure it out, you’re not my son."

After working for his father, Jeffrey moved on to the talent agency CAA (Creative Artist Agency) where he worked for roughly 3 and half years before joining his dad in forming Full Stop Management in 2016.

While he was at CAA, Irving moved over clients like Christina Aguilera and the Eagles to the talent agency to help with tour booking instead of doing it internally through LiveNation (he was CEO).

Even though I'm sure Jeff has had to work somewhat hard to get to where he is (or at least to mess up his dad's work as he doesn't seem like the type to take laziness well), the door into the industry and every job was basically handed to him on a silver platter.

Not to mention if you watch episodes of keeping up with the  kardashians (like myself) you can actually see Jeff hanging out with kendall and the rest of the fam at their Palm Springs house (you know you're a nepotism kid if you have an in with the Kardashian crew). Invite me next time Jeffrey!!!

Think of the Azoff's as the mafia family of the music industry, you don't mess with the mafia

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THE GRAMMY AWARDS: STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS ON STEROIDS

Ok so here's where we’re going to get into a bit more of the speculation/grey area. I don't need to tell you that award shows are corrupt (See the Golden Globes Emily in Paris scandal) and the Grammys are not an exception. Think of the Grammys as one big student council/government elections where despite the fact the teachers tell you six times to vote for the best candidate, you're still going to vote for your friends even if they aren't the best.

A simplified break-down of Grammy voting:

1) Recording Academy voting members (artists, producers, musicians- anyone involved first hand with the creation of music; All voting members must have been producers, performers or engineers on six or more tracks of a commercially released album (or 12 or more digital tracks) and record labels will submit nominations in various categories to the grammys (songs need to be released commercially between October 1 of the previous year and September 30th of this year). You can also become a voting member by either winning a grammy or being endorsed by a current voting member (hint hint)

2) Once received, the recording academy with have the academy of trustees and its reviewers organize them and approve any changes to the 30 categories/fields (aka they can add new categories or remove old ones; so no best ukulele album of the year -- this is where things get funky)

There's speculation that during this stage when these special groups of 8-10 people are organizing genres, there's an "unwritten rule" that you need to be careful what album you green light (especially for famous artists) if you don't want them to win) (Rob Kenner said this- he used to be on one of these committees). Famous people tend to get more votes from clueless or lay Academy members that don't know the specialized categories or don't care enough to listen to songs that aren't radio trending.

3) After the nominations occur, Voting members begin their first voting. Members can vote for the four general categories of record of the year, album of the year, song of the year and best new artist and a maximum of 15 categories, all within their areas of expertise. Now the interesting thing is that while these are the guidelines there is literally nothing stopping them from voting in whatever categories they want (i.g. a rapper voting in the opera category despite not listening to opera). Theses ballots are all tallied and the top 20 entries are determined in each category (funky moment #2)

In 12 of the 84 categories those top 20 go to the ballot and it's done; for the rest it’s not like that. 59 categories including the big four go to a "nomination review committees" (identities are protected so they can't get lobbied... sure) who take a look at the top 20 and narrow it down to 7 or 8. (these are the special committees the Weekend talked about when he was snubbed). They're supposed to choose the nominees "based solely on the artistic and technical merits of the eligible recordings" which lets be real if that was the case Watermelon Sugar (along with most of the others in the category) I don't think would have been nomimated as they are very generic pop (none of them are special... sorry to the WM lovers out there).

This committee is basically held to THE HONOR CODE SYSTEM... I mean tell me when the last time the honor code system worked in literally any scenario (literally wtf). Don't take my word for it though the former CEO of the Academy Deborah Dugan (a queen) filed a complaint against the Recording Academy basically claiming that the nomination review process was rigged (she was fired after 5 months on the job).

Quote from Deborah Dugan "Members of the board [of trustees] and the secret committees chose artists with whom they have personal or business relationships... It is not unusual for artists who have relationships with Board members and who ranked at the bottom of the initial 20-artist list to end up receiving nominations."

These review committees can also exploit there power by adding up to two nominees that don't appear on the top 20 list to the final voting ballot (except in the 4 big categories - which watermelon sugar that one wasn't nominated for)

They also have craft committees for like non performance stuff (like album notes, engineering and arranging) that don't even get voted on by the academy voting members

4) After all of that fucked up mess, the grammy's decided is ok, the ballots go back to the voting members for the final vote. Deloitte (an accounting firm) then counts all of them, seals them in envelopes, and delivers them to the Grammy award show.

** The Grammy's just announced this year they're removing the "secret committees" so let's see how things shift in the next couple of years**

So obviously I'm not saying this to discredit Harry's nomination or his win as Fine Line was in the US top 20 albums for the majority of 2020, however, we must acknowledge privilege. Harry has a big name to him and a huge following, and while all of that shouldn't be taken into account, it does. He also has the Azoffs, a very well connected family with friends in lots of places that would be able to put in a good word here and there to get support behind Harry. Harry won best pop solo performance for Watermelon Sugar in a category with Doja Cat, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, Taylor Swift, and Dua Lipa. Look at the names there, the songs (ya'll can try and remember them cause I'm too lazy to write it out) and tell me that those top names with all of the music produced didn't get there through some connections.

Do with all this information what you will and if you are interested in learning more about the entertainment industry on your own Endeavor (owners of WME, a big talent agency like CAA) is hosting a free online program called the Excellence Program to help guide the future generation of industry executives. The program is a-synchronous and starts on July 12th. Highly recommend giving it a go if you're interested!!!

Alright ya'll that's it. Feel free to message me with your thoughts!

Extra Sources if you'd like to read:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/pkdndn/how-grammys-voting-actually-works-and-where-the-alleged-corruption-lies

https://www.grammy.com/grammys/awards/voting-process

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2020-11-05/irving-azoff-eagles-manager

https://celebrityaccess.com/caarchive/jeffrey-azoff-exits-caa-to-launch-new-management-company/

https://www.rollingstone.com/pro/features/grammy-awards-secret-committees-945532/

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grammy-awards-eliminate-secret-committees-voting-changes-1163887/

[moinsbienquekaworu]

yooooo Star Wars ocs?? *grabby hands* share. infodump. how much swag do they have on a scale from 1-10

Pigeon I love you I am kissing you right now (platonically but enthusiastically)

Okay so the main guys that keep occupying my brain are Korcha and her lineage, Reil, Devafe and Lineth. You've seen my drawings of them I think? Korcha's the spider lady, Reil is her first apprentice with the long hair, Devafe her second apprentice, she's the one with the cool art where she's doing lightsaber training, and Lineth is a wet little cat girl (affectionate)

First off, they all have swag by virtue of being Jedi, I don't think you can manage to be under a like 3-4 in swag when you're proficient at using cool laser swords and space magic. That said, among other Jedi, Korcha is swag enough but not exceedingly, maybe a 5 or a 6 depending on who you ask? She's got wild anecdotes, by the Clone Wars era she's in her 70s and you don't get to that point as a Jedi without cool life skills, plus she's pretty good at Jar'kai (using two lightsabers simultaneously), and that's really cool, but she's nerfed by the importance she puts on Rules and The Correct Thing To Do, which makes her a more reasonable person and therefore less likely to do absurd but cool stuff.

Reil is on the list of swagest people in the Temple because by the Clone Wars he's been a crèchemaster for like 15 years and that means a lot of the younger Jedi know him and like him. He's good at his job he's patient and he lets the kids play with paint and that means if there were contests like you see in fics for various title among the Jedi Order he would be in the top contender for Coolest Crèchemaster or something. Like that cool counselor people like, or the teacher everyone wants to have in class. A solid like 8/10 at least

I'm not subjective on Devafe because I project onto her accidentally her vibe is Dooku but to the left, since they've got similar fighting styles and that's linked to who she is as a person, and Makashi simply is The swagest form out of the seven (or like, Vaapad, we love Mace here) So automatically she gets points for that because who doesn't love someone who fights in a focussed, neat and precise, fencing-like style with cool laser swords, even when they prefer reading books? Nobody. She's cool. She doesn't go below a 7 and I'm not being nice here purely because she was a bit of an annoying teenager (like Korcha btw lol, like master like apprentice sometimes)

Lineth is - I want to be nice to her because she deserves it, and she gets a pity point for staying alive the whole war, a feat not all Jedi could accomplish, and certainly not all Padawans. Ahsoka makes it, of course, but Ahsoka is Special and Cooler Than Everyone Else, and Lineth is just there trying not to break down more than once a week. That's still like a 5 though, but it's not her fault she doesn't get to develop fully as a person because there's a war on :( In the alternate world where everything is okay and the war ends she gets more confident and she's swager though don't worry about her

Other SW OCs are Cehim, who makes maps and lives alone in her spaceship and is part of a group of artists and has multiple QPPs and is a bit like a space version of Meredith but different, she's super cool I love her, 9/10 at least; and the clone commanders under Devafe and Korcha & Lineth during the war. Devafe's commander, Jellyfish, picked his name because he likes jellyfish, and that immediately gives him a 8/10 on the swag scale, plus he talks shit with Devafe sometimes and that's extremely fun to me. Korcha & Lineth's commander (or technically captain but he kind of fills the role of commander since Lineth is a baby) is called Stellar and he's wonderful, dare I say he does a stellar job, you get the idea, he was the first (but not the last) to see Lineth and think oh, that's a baby, she needs a friend not someone who'll obey her orders, as opposed to Korcha who during the war wanted competent officers first and then people she could have tea with second, though she very much wanted both, and for that he's also swag, maybe a 7/10. What do you want, all of them except Cehim and Reil fought in a war, that makes you swag just by virtue of The Horrors <3

[stillebesat]

Meeting Virgil (5x1) -Third Time

Sanders Shorts: Remy Sanders Sides: Virgil Blurb: A Special Delivery Prequel. -Five times Remy tried to give Virgil a child and the one time he succeeded. Inspiration: @book-of-charlie​ asked: What did Virgil mean by “the last 5 times?” Fic Type: STORK!AU, Winged!Remy Chapter Warnings: Implied Neglectful Parents, Implied Miscarriage Taglist in Reblog. To Catch Up: First Time Second Time

Little Lacey was going to change the world. Remy knew it from the moment the baby girl’s eyes had lit up upon seeing him and his wings. From the second she had opened her mouth and let out the most contagious laugh he’d ever heard.

Even now, as he wound his way through the golf course parking lot crowded with stalls and people waiting for the fireworks to start on the hill above them, Lacey drew smiles from everyone standing nearby with that contagious bubbling laughter as she bounced in his arms.

He’d been tempted to put her to sleep when the twin lines of green and purple he’d been following led straight into this noisy place with music blaring, kids screaming, and the smell of popcorn and cotton candy thick in the air. First impressions with new parents hardly went well if the baby was screaming their head off after all, yet Lacey apparently loved the chaos surrounding them. She’d perked right up, her giggles ringing in his ear before he’d even landed.

There was no doubt. Despite her previous parents’ best attempts to treat her like a forgotten dusty doll in a china cabinet, Lacey thrived in having everyone’s attention focused on her. For being in the limelight. Yes. Remy knew she would change the world once she was older if the way everyone cooed -from the lady waiting in line with her son to get their face painted to the burly motorcycle dude that looked like he could tear your head off with his pinky- at her was any indication.

It was attention that Remy wasn’t exactly used to dealing with himself anymore. Usually his S.T.O.R.K. duties took him to places that were...quieter...more…secluded environments. One on Two situations where he could meet the new parents away from watching eyes, give them their new bundle of joy and then take off soon after their bond was established.

“Oh, isn’t she precious!” A grandmother cooed at Lacey, her hands twitching with the obvious old person urge to pinch the baby’s cheeks as she gave Remy a warm smile. “You’re one lucky fella having such a beautiful daughter!”

His stomach did a little uncomfortable flip flop at that. It wasn’t the first time he’d been mistaken as a parent, but it always threw him off when people assumed he was capable of such a feat when growing up it had felt like everyone expected him to die before he reached twenty.

According to Larry and Dot, however, despite the years he’d spent ferrying babies around -and getting them to their parents without issue...well, major issues-- he was still quite ‘rough around the edges.’

Ha.

He’d like to see them say that when faced with the burly motorcycle dude two stalls over. He couldn’t be that rough acting anymore.

Probably.

Maybe.

Eh.

Remy shook his head, wings twitching against his back as he grinned at the woman, glad his metallic green eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses. “She’s adorable alright, but I’m just watching her for a friend while they grab a bite to eat.” He tilted his head to the twin lines that led towards the other side of the food stalls beyond the lady as Lacey giggled in his ear, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.

The words flowed easily enough off his tongue, despite the bitter taste they left. Lying wasn’t really a thing with S.T.O.R.K.s hence his...technical truth. He was watching Lacey, though friend might be a bit strong of a word when he’d never met the parents before. But he was planning to grab some of those delectable chicken strips he could smell afterwards. So yah...basically the truth.

He was good at that.

Larry and Dot would visibly roll their eyes but quietly smile their approval at his ability to find and exploit loopholes.

The grandmother’s eyes grew softer as Lacey wiggled, reaching fingers grabbing onto the feathers her little hands could reach. “How sweet.” She murmured, placing a hand over her heart.

Did she mean Lacey or the fact Remy was ‘watching’ her? He sighed internally, keeping the smile in place with effort. He’d never been the greatest at interacting with old people who would ‘dear me’ and ‘oh my’ him to death if he accidentally slipped and swore in front of them.

“Mhmmm, if you’ll excuse me.” He gave her a nod, wings pressing harder against his back as he edged around her, waving one hand over his head like he was acknowledging someone in the distance and quickly vanished into the crowd, following the green and purple ribbons that would lead him to Lacey’s future family.

Still both glowing with the exact same shade of brightness. Still unknown just which one would end up with little Lacey’s shining personality in their lives.

Well. He paused as the two colored ribbons finally diverged. The Purple leading to the right to where the sun had just set. Green leading to the left to where hundreds of people were sitting, waiting for the show in the sky.

Both options meant still more people. But with the brightness being so close, he’d have to scope out both possibilities first before making a decision.

He exhaled, trying to remain relaxed as the crowd brushed by him, his wings trembling against his back. It wasn’t like anyone could see his wings so he had nothing to fear about being mobbed for his feathers. But still. The constant press of people unknowingly touching them had him on edge.

“Purple first.” He mumbled, adjusting his grip on Lacey as she sat back up, clapping her hands together with a squeal as he moved them closer to a brightly colored bouncy house. It wasn’t like the Edgelord would be here among the Good Old Rocky Mountains when he lived on the opposite side of the country, but it would be best to confirm that first.

With how quickly ‘Virge’ had vanished that night in the woods, it wouldn’t surprise him if the poor guy was still lost in the backwaters of Virginia.

No. Probably not. He seemed resourceful enough...unless he’d gotten himself captured by a Mothman colony--did they have colonies or were they more of a solitary creat--

Remy unexpectedly broke through the crowd, coming out where a line of porta-potties stood like quiet stinky sentinels in the fading light.

And there, right where the purple line ended, stood Mr. Not-a-Good-Dad himself in all his gothic glory. Wearing a black tank top that showed off his arms, artistically torn jeans, and purple dyed hair falling into his storm colored eyes.

Remy’s heart skipped a beat as he stumbled to a stop, rapidly blinking to clear his vision of this impossible mirage. “No. Fu--Freaking. Way.” He breathed, staring at Virge just as the guy reached down and picked up a little girl who couldn’t have been more than four or five years old, easily balancing her on his hip like he’d done this exact action multiple times before, speaking softly to her as he brushed the tears from her wet cheeks with his thumb.

Remy swallowed, bouncing Lacey as she wiggled in his grip. Lost maybe? Had to be. He couldn’t see the bonding lines between the two of them for all that Virge looked like a Father patiently calming his distressed child.

Of course, that didn’t rule out the possibility that she was his cousin, or even a niece or some kid of a friend. He would need to get closer to the girl to know for sure if there was any connection between the two.

Remy shrugged, drawing in a steadying breath. Well. Better make his move now rather than later. “Well, Laceyloo” He said, giving the girl a wink as he moved forward. “Ready to try your luck with our resident Emo?”

Didn’t the saying go that the ‘third time's the charm’ or something? With how adorably cute she was...and with how comfortable Virge seemed with this other little girl, perhaps Lacey’s laughter would be the key to convincing Dark and Brooding to accept his obviously destined role as a Father.

One could hope.

“Hey Stranger.” He called, pushing his sunglasses up into his hair as the Edgelord jumped like he’d just been electrocuted, causing the little girl to cry out and cling to him as stormy grey eyes met Remy’s metallic green ones.

Virge glowered at him even as his hands moved to soothe the girl, low words leaving his lips as she buried her head against his chest, his stormy eyes only softening as Lacey sat upright in Remy’s arms and gave him a tiny wave of her hand and a delighted giggle.

“Hey.” He said, still focused on Lacey, a myriad of conflicting expressions crossing his face.

Hook.

Remy moved a deliberately casual step closer, wings fluttering with anticipation. “Fancy meeting you here.” He made a show of looking around. “Does Mothman usually attend this sort of thing?”

Virge rolled his eyes, glancing at the girl in his arms before focusing back on Remy. “Slenderman actually.”

A what? Remy paused, glancing at the sniffling girl with a raised eyebrow. “Really?” She didn’t look like a...whatever a Slenderman was.

Another thing he’d have to go look up if these encounters with V-man were gonna continue and he kept insisting on referencing random fantasy cryptid creatures that Remy had barely heard of.

That way he would be more prepared next time.

If there was a next time.

If Lacey failed to work her magic.

Which she wouldn’t.

Because she was Lacey the Amazing and this was their lucky third encounter. So of course he wouldn’t be seeing his stubborn Emo Nightmare again.

Unfortunately.

Virge snorted. “No. She wouldn’t be considered one if I was. Lily here has lost her parents. I’m helping her find them. Right Lily?”

The child glanced up, face tear-streaked, bright brown eyes shimmering with more tears waiting to fall. “They’re gone.” She whimpered.

“And we’ll find them.” Virge assured, voice going soft. “Remember? You were telling me what your Mommy was wearing. A pretty pearl necklace right? Her favorite that you can’t yet wear?”

She sniffled, nodding. “Yah.”

Remy shook his head. Well that was a helpful description.

Not.

Still. Edgelord had shown more patience with the crying kid than most strangers would in this sort of situation. “A necklace.” He repeated. “Like you’ll be able to see that in the dark.”

Virge rolled his eyes. “It’s more help than you’re currently being, Eagle One. Plus I am listening for anyone calling her name.”

“Mhmm in this crowd? The parents would need to scream quite loud.” He took another step closer, smiling as Lily and Lacey made eye contact, the baby in his arms wiggling as Lily straightened with a “Hi you!” as she waved at Lacey. “No, It sounds like you need help from an Expert.” He said, spreading out his wings, flapping them once.

A bad decision really with how many people were around that he could have hit, though the surprised sound Virge made as he lifted a hand, taking an automatic step closer as his grey eyes darted to the people continuing by made it well worth it.

He froze as Lacey laughed, making grabby hands at his wings and Lily gasped a soft “Angel?” leaving her lips, her brown eyes growing bright with awe.

A S.T.O.R.K. But he wouldn’t begrudge the child for her confusion. Remy nodded to Lily, bouncing Lacey in his arms. “I’m here to help you Lils. We’ll find your parents.”

This close he could see easily her parent line--the same Green one he’d been following earlier ironically enough, because of course it would be the same fu-freaking line he’d followed all the way here, winding its way upwind of the porta-potties to a low hill with a couple shade trees at the top. Well, if it didn’t work out with Mr. Reluctant here, at least it appeared Lily already liked her potential new baby sister if their shared giggles and fascination with his wings was anything to go by.

Virge stared beyond Remy, watching the crowd, growing more tense the longer everyone else continued walking by without reacting. “They can’t--” He whispered.

“See them? No.” Remy folded his wings, unwilling to keep them open and exposed around so many individuals now that he’d made his point. “Betcha that’s why people don’t usually see your Mothman either.” Probably. It had to be a magic related thing. Or belief thing. A blending ability? Were S.T.O.R.K.s like Mothmen? Bigfoot? Vampi--oh, yah no….his wings pressed against his back. If it turned out Vampires and Werewolves and Mothmen were actually real only then would he have a mental breakdown over maybe being in the same category as mythical creatures. Right now. He had to focus. Find Lily’s parents. Give Lacey to the Edgelord and walla. Mission accomplished.

Virge slowly shook his head, shifting Lily against his side before he rubbed the back of his neck. “No, there's been enough credible sightings of Mothmen by people to discount that theory.” He said, shrugging one shoulder. “It may explain why, when people talk about their encounters with Angels, that they rarely mention them with wings though.”

Remy rolled his eyes. “Not an Angel, V-man. I already told you. I’m a--”

“Stork. Yes. But are you sure that’s not a type of Angel?” He asked, eyes gleaming in the faint light given by the lamp posts. “You bring babies to parents who want children right? You’re willing to help me find this girl’s parents. Therefore a Stork could be a subset of Guardian Angels.”

Huh.

“...You been thinking on this alot?” Remy asked faintly.

Which One. It shouldn’t thrill him that Gothica incarnate was thinking about him. And Two. Questioning his so-called ‘Angelhood’ was definitely not going to keep him up all night regardless of how this encounter ended. An Angel? HIM?! Ha. Larry and Dot would have a conniption that their troubled ward was considered some sort of goodie two shoes Guardian Angel.

Maybe.

Else Larry would tear up, crush him in a hug, and start blubbering Dadisms of ‘being so proud’ and Dot would pat him firmly on the back and say “about time.” It was hard to tell which they’d go most days.

Remy shook his head, raising a finger and jabbing it in Edgelord’s direction. “You.” He said. “Are distracting me from helping Lily” and Lacey “find her parents. Shame. On. You.” He spread a wing towards the girl in Virge’s arms. She immediately perked up, a shy smile on her lips as she reached out to touch his feathers.

Laughter danced in Virge’s eyes as tilted his head, purple tipped bangs falling in front of them, shadowing their grey color further as he maintained eye contact, not at all distracted by the wing inches from his arm. “Oh? Then tell me, O Mighty Stork, how can you find her parents?”

“Same way I keep finding you.” Remy said with a smirk, heart fluttering in anticipation as Popsicle blanched. So close. “Not that you can see it.” He pointed to the ground where the purple ribbon still shown between Virge and Lacey and then over to the green one that also streaked from her to run parallel to Lily’s line that would lead them to her parents. “But all children have a connection between them and their parents or guardians that we,” he gestured to himself, “can see.”

Virge licked his lips, glancing to Lacey, then to the ground, his arm tightening protectively around Lily. “And Lily’s parents are?”

“Right up that hill.” He said without hesitation, pointing to where the green line led. “I can’t see who it ends at, but they are over there. I can easily reunite Lily with them, if you don’t mind holding little Lacey here for me in the meantime.” He said, his wings rising and mantling around them to block Virge’s view of anyone else as he held out the baby for him to take.

Lacey automatically reached out to her potential new Dad, making grabby hands along with a soft cooing sound demanding to be held.

Line.

Virge reached out, arm already curving to take the baby from him, only to hesitate at the last second, grey eyes flickering with shadows as he met Remy’s green ones. “That first time. When you broke into my place. You said…” He licked his lips, hand trembling as he pulled it back to hold onto Lily. “I would only have to ‘hold her and see.’ What did you mean by that?”

….Smart Fish.

Remy exhaled, shaking his head. Sinker totally sunk. Suspicious Nancy here just had to remember some off hand comment he’d made ages ago and question it.

It was times like this that he wished he could Lie to potential parents. It would make his job so much easier. But at the same time, he knew all too well that starting out a budding connection with lies would mean a crumbling family foundation later on. Best to stick to the truth to give the child the best connection with their new parents from the start.

Remy pulled Lacey back into a more steady position against his chest, soothing her disgruntled sounds as she still tried to reach out to the Emo--or maybe it was Lily she was reaching for? The other little girl was bouncing in Virge’s arms hard enough to be a workout as she stretched towards Remy.

Probably a good idea to not have those two touch just yet. He wanted to try and make the bond with Virge work first before allowing Lacey to complete the bond with Lily’s family. He shifted to keep the two out of reach from each other before speaking to Virge. “A parental bond is only established with a child in the custody of a S.T.O.R.K. when said child is touched or held by the new parent. It’s a love at first contact sort of thing.” He said, not at all surprised when the reluctant Emo took two quick steps back away from him.

Stubborn. Why was he so stubborn about this?! Shouldn’t him showing up Three Fuc--Freaking times be clear enough indication that PopStar here was meant to be a Father?!

“So~. If I were to hold Lacey for you while you helped Lily--’” Virge asked, narrowing his eyes.

“I would have killed two birds with one stone.” He said simply. “Lily would return to her parents and Lacey here would have bonded with you and you’d be her new Dad.”

Virge growled at that, eyes flashing as his shoulders hunched high enough to nearly touch his ears. “I told you before that I’m not a good Dad.” He hissed. “And yet you just tried to trick me into--”

Well most people weren’t this stupidly resistant to becoming a parent.

Remy raised an eyebrow. “Ah Huh. For some reason, LolliPop.” He gestured to Lily still comfortably resting in his arms. “I don’t believe you.”

Virgil bared his teeth, arms tightening protectively around the girl. “This is different. She’s lost! I’m not going to leave her to wander around here all alone!”

“And Lacey is different how?” Remy retorted. “She is lost, looking for a new Dad, and walla you’re here to save the bloody day!”

Virgil shook his head, taking two more steps back, nearly hitting the nearest porta-pottie. “NO.”

And just like that the Purple line fizzled, growing hazy to Remy’s sight as the Green line took on an even brighter glow.

Remy groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Jiminy Crickets! And he’d had such high hopes that Lacey would be the breakthrough to Virge’s reluctance in joining the Fatherhood Club. “It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be, you fuc--freaking scaredy cat!” Not that he had any personal experience in it, but he’d seen it. Seen how happy the men were to become fathers once the bond was established. “I don’t make mistakes in this. You’d be an excellent Dad no matter your doubts. I wouldn’t be here talking to you otherwise!”

“You don’t know that!!” Virgil retorted, a tint of panic to his voice. “You can’t! How can I believe some guy showing up with a random baby in his arms--you could have kidnapped her for all I--”

“You’ve seen my wings.” Remy interrupted, spreading them out and flapping them for emphasis. “Obviously I’m not exactly some guy. I don’t kidnap babies. I rescue them from bad situations and take them to better ones. That’s what a S.T.O.R.K. does!”

“I can’t--”

“You’ll have to at some point.” Remy snapped. “I’m going to keep coming to you until you do. You do realize that right? You’re marked for Fatherhood and if it’s not me that can get that through your thick skull it will be a different S.T.O.R.K. who does.”

Virge violently shook his head. “No. I’m not--”

“A good Dad. I know. I’ve heard.” Remy rolled his eyes, snapping his wings shut as he turned away to follow the green line, adjusting as Lacey twisted in his arms trying to look behind them. “I still don’t believe you.” But it was obvious by how the purple line had faded to nearly nothing that Lacey wouldn’t end up as the Edgelord’s kid.

A pity. The dude could use some serious laughter in his life. Bright and bubbly like little Lacey’s. Too bad he was apparently immune to her charm.

“...Where are you going?”

Remy fought back the urge to snarl. “To take Lacey here to her next best option, which funnily enough is Lily’s parents so are you coming with me to reunite them or not?” At least he already knew that Lily would get along with Lacey. One hurdle gone in that regard.

Virge made a noise of surprise. “They lost their child and you’re taking another to them---”

“Mistakes happen.” Remy said shortly, glancing over his shoulder. “No one can be the perfect parent 24/7. It’s impossible. You get distracted at the wrong moment and walla your child has slipped away. Or you think someone else is watching them while they think you’re watching them and no one questions why they haven’t seen the kid recently. it---her parent line is still bright, Virge.” He looked away as Mr. Reluctant caught up and fell in step with him. “They aren’t horrible bad people just because they lost her tonight. They love her. No doubt about it.”

And if Cynical Gothica was so concerned about them and their parenting skills then he should have said YES to being the Dad to Lacey before his purple line had fizzled out!

Virge ducked his head, shoulders hunching as he brushed Lily’s hair out of her eyes. “...Okay.” He mumbled a dozen steps later. “But what if they--they loved--love her, but…but did something---what if something happened to hurt her? Badly? And they couldn’t--what if it’s not fix--fixable? What then? Would you really--”

Remy stopped just short of cresting the hill, wings prickling, goosebumps on his arms sending a chill through him as he turned back to Virge. This. He could sense. Was important.

“Mistakes happen, V.” He repeated in a softer tone. “Whatever mistake you think you’ve made that you think disqualifies you from ever becoming a Father…” He stretched out a wing, brushing the Emo’s cheek, causing him to look up, eyes so soft and vulnerable that it made Remy’s chest ache. “It’s not an unforgivable one. Again. I wouldn’t be here if it were.”

People changed. People could become better than they were. Whatever had happened in the Edgelord’s past wasn’t a deal breaker to the S.T.O.R.K.s. The three times he’d shown up in his presence had to be some sort of proof. He’d never heard of someone refusing parenthood before, but the fact that Remy kept returning, the fact that Virge kept coming up as an option in the first place, had to mean something.

V bit his lip, eyes troubled as he looked to Lacey then back to Remy, the purple ribbon connecting the two flickering like a sputtering candle. “I’m not--” He whispered.

Remy let out a slow breath, well aware that his wing was still touching his cheek, but unwilling to pull away just yet. “It’s something to think on, Virge O’Doom.” He said, voice still soft. “Once is a Chance, Twice a Coincidence, Thrice? It’s a Pattern. It’s just a matter of deciding if you’re ready when I come back a Fourth time.”

As much as he wanted to convince him and make it to work between Lacey and the Emo...the line had already fuzzed once. He didn’t want Virge to have any doubts in this.

“LILY?!” A shrill woman’s voice suddenly rang through the air, breaking the tension between them like a snapped wire. “LILY WHERE ARE YOU?!”

“LILYLOO?” A man called out, his voice breaking on the last syllable. “Lily?! Has anyone seen my daughter?!”

Remy smirked, pulling his wing back and raising an eyebrow to Virge as Lily jerked upright at her name, nearly pulling free from his grip in the process. “See? Not bad parents.”

Virge drew in a visibly shaky breath, his arms tightening around the little girl. “Right.”

“MOMMY!” Lily cried, wiggling to get free. “DADDY!”

“We got her!” Remy called, using his wing to push Mr. Reluctant forward up the hill, pitching his voice so it would carry to the frantic parents. “Over here!” He raised his free hand, waving to draw their attention as he moved his other wing to cover Lacey, hiding her from their view for now.

“Oh, Lily!” Her mother rushed forward wild curly hair streaming behind her like a banner, pulling her free from Virge’s grip with little effort to smother her with kisses. “Don’t scare me like that.”

Lily wrapped her arms around her Mother, burying her head against her chest. “Sorry Momma,” She whimpered.

“Where was she?” Her father asked, hovering anxiously behind his wife. His fingers running through his daughter’s hair.

“By the bathrooms.” Virge said, shuffling awkwardly in place. “She was crying, so we---” He gestured to Remy and himself. “Were helping her find you.”

We? Nope nope. “Pretty sure that was all you.” Remy muttered under his breath, shifting as Lacey wiggled in his grip, trying to peer out from around his wing. He would have never been aware of the girl’s situation if Castlevania hadn’t taken the initiative. His job usually involved helping unloved kids. Not loved ones. Even if they were lost.

“Lily,” Her mother scolded in a soft tone, lifting up her chin. “You know you need one of us to go with you.”

The girl sniffed, eyes welling with tears. “But I’m a big girl! I can go by myself! I’m no baby.”

Grief flashed across the Mom’s face, one hand dropping to her stomach before quickly rising back to cradle the back of Lily’s head.

Ah. Remy straightened, light green dust swirling at his fingertips as recognition flashed through him. He’d seen that particular look hundreds of times before from mothers who’d lost a babe in the womb. He’d bet his sunglasses that the baby would have been the same age as little Lacey here had they survived to full term, hence why the line was so bright. Lacey could easily slip into the family like she’d always been a part of them.

“That may be.” Her husband said, taking the opportunity to pull Lily into his arms, squeezing her tight as he gave his wife a concerned look, his own eyes showing a hint of grief as well. “But you know how your mother worries about you.”

“So much, baby girl. So much. If I lost you too-” Her voice hitched as she abruptly cut off, bowing her head, wrapping her arms around her middle.

“But you didn’t.” Remy said soothingly as he moved closer to the family, fingers of his free hand twisting to scatter green dust around them so that any nosy viewers would stop paying attention now that the little family reunion was complete. “Everyone is safe and sound. No harm done.” He pulled back his wing back to reveal baby Lacey, purposely brushing his feathers along her neck, causing her to break into soft laughter, twisting in his arms from the tickling sensation.

The Mother looked up at the sound, mouth dropping open. “Oh.” She breathed, clasping her hands over her heart, eyes shimmering as she stared at Lacey. “She’s--”

“Cute right?” Remy asked, holding her out in an unspoken invitation to hold her.

Unlike Virge, the Scrooge of Fatherhood, hovering beside him, she didn’t hesitate. She reached out to gently take Lacey into her arms, a hidden weight vanishing from her shoulders as Lacey giggled, nuzzling her face against the Mother’s neck, tiny fingers gripping onto her shirt.

“She’s absolutely precious.” She murmured, pressing a kiss into her thick hair. “What’s her name?”

“Lacey.” Remy said simply, the tip of his wing stretching out to push the Father and Lily closer to them.

“Lacey.” The Father repeated, moving to her side, a smile tugging at his lips as he watched his wife slowly rock the baby back and forth. “An L name.” He reached out, running a hand down Lacey’s back, causing the green line in Remy’s sight to flash twice indicating the parental bond had been accepted. “Just like Lily’s.”

Perfect. Remy exhaled, snapping out his wing to block Virge just as he tried to interrupt the moment.

Idiot.

Remy grabbed him by the arm, dragging him away as his wings fluttered, sending more light green sparks swirling away to settle around the newly expanded family, ensuring that Lacey would be able to bond with them in peace without further interruption.

Virge struggled, twisting in Remy’s grip, unable to break free as the first set of fireworks burst in the sky overhead. “That’s it?! You can’t seriously just--”

Remy rolled his eyes. “Can. Did. Bought the T-Shirt.” Or food. Could he still get his chicken strips if the fireworks had already started? Probably not. That was disappointing.

“Seriously?! You can’t just drop off a baby and leave!”

Funny. Remy pulled them to a stop at the bottom of the hill, mantling his wings so that Virge stood in his shadow. “I’m a S.T.O.R.K., Grimm Reaper. You do remember what that means right? Leaving babies on doorsteps is kinda the whole jig.”

Virge bristled, not at all intimidated. “But you just left her!”

Must be all those Mothman encounters. Remy crossed his arms. “In good hands, Virgeroo. Not all parents need me to stick around once I give them a child.” Thankfully. He hated dealing with the ones who had a million and six impossible questions they wanted answered. But he wasn’t actually going to leave little Lacey there just like that. What sort of S.T.O.R.K. would he be to literally just dump a child in a lady’s arms and leave?

He’d double back around to check in once he was sure Virge wouldn’t go try to find them and ruin everything.

“But!”

“No.”

EmoDramatic threw up his hands. “How will they explain this though? Going to a fireworks show with one child and coming home with two!”

Remy spread his arms, wiggling his fingers. “Maaagiic~.” He smirked, snapping his wings shut. “They can explain it however they want.” The bond would ensure that whatever reason they gave for suddenly having another child, it would be believed by those who heard it. “It’s not your concern.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, brushing past him.

Not until Mr. Not-a-Good-Dad accepted his fate at least. And who knew when that would happen. Would his curiosity help spur him into taking that final step?

Virge whirled with him, fingers brushing his wing before landing on his arm, sending a shiver down Remy’s spine. “I don’t understand.”

“And you won’t, LolliPop.” Remy shrugged free from his grip, slipping his sunglasses back over his eyes. “Not until you say yes to Dadhood. That’s another thing you can think on until I see you next.” He gave his Edgelord a two fingered salute as he jumped into the air, shimmering dust whirling around him helping him to vanish from view as a series of green and purple fireworks exploded overhead.

To Be Continued.

[clouditae]

First Love | 13

Yoongi x reader | 18+ | college au | tattoo artist au | angst | fluff | swearing

Word: 3.3k

You first saw him in the multi-purpose room. Later learn his name, and on your third year, as he becomes your neighbor, you discover his lifestyle. Knowing your crush on him was nothing but that, you wanted to find the courage to look for love. Asking your friend for help, you’re pointed in the direction of the expert. Your neighbor, Min Yoongi

Chapter Index

“So you and Hanbin?” 

You jump and blurt out, “What?” You turn around to face the source of the voice only to meet gazes with Yoongi. 

“You. Hanbin. You’re a couple now?” he says in a nonchalant tone as he looks at you with a lazy gaze. 

You can feel the heat on your cheeks and stomach flutter at his name. “No,” you answer. “We’re just friends.”

“Just friends?” He walks past you and up to his door. “From what I saw, that kiss wasn’t “just friends” for him.” He leans against his dorm door, crossing his arms over his chest. “You got someone already?” The way he says the last word irks you. It’s like he’s mocking you—or something else but he just irritates you.

“Why does it matter?” you ask, walking past him to stand next to your door. “Plus, how do you know about the kiss?”

“Well for starters you always tell me you’re not brave enough to do anything. Turns out you’re either lying or you’re really good at getting someone like him to fall for you. And I know about the kiss because you were extremely loud.” 

“Well I apologize for the noise and you should be proud that I don’t need you anymore if I can get someone like him—whatever that means,” you state matter of factly.

He stares at you with that stupid blank stare you’re beginning to hate so much. “Yeah. Okay. We’ll see how long that lasts before you end up in the bedroom with him.” He puts his key in the hole and turns the door knob. 

He enters his room, letting the door close behind him but you’re faster. Slamming your hand on his door and pushing it open. You ignore the stinging feeling on your hand as you say in an outraged tone, “I am sick and tired of you belittling me. Ever since we started this whole thing, you've only judged and acted rude towards me. I’m sorry for what happened to you, but you do not need to push your anger towards her onto me. I am not your distraction and I am not the reason you’re so angry.” You release the door and make your way towards your room. You hear the sound of his door closing as you open yours and enter your room. 

Ari is staring at you wide-eyed as the door closes behind you. “What?” you ask, tossing your backpack on your bed. 

A smile slowly grew on her lips. “Did you just tell him off?”

“Tell him off? I didn’t tell him off.” 

Ari laughs, “You so did! You were mad and you let him have it with how he was towards you.”

Your eyes widened a bit. “You heard me?” You plop on your chair. “Was I that loud?”

Ari shakes her head. “You weren’t loud, but I could hear you a bit. I didn’t hear everything, but just enough to know you set him straight.” 

You shrug, grabbing your backpack that is luckily close to the edge of your bed. “He was rude to me, and I guess I finally snapped.” 

“I can’t believe you brought Sam up in the conversation,” Ari states in awestruck. “You go girl.” 

You can’t help but sink in your chair a bit. “I can’t believe I said that when he doesn’t even know I know about her.” 

Your roommate laughs again, “Fuck that, and fuck him. He treats you like shit, you make him feel like shit. That’s that, Y/N. No guilt.” 

You let out the air you were holding. “No guilt,” you say more to yourself than to her.

“That’s my girl,” she says in a cheer like tone. “No guilt just dick.”

You turn towards her. “What?”

It’s her turn to shrug as she answers, “I don’t know. I heard some girl say it at a party once. It doesn’t make sense, but it kind of does if you’re trying to get laid? You’re not trying to get laid right now.” She shakes her head. “Just ignore the whole thing.” You can’t help but smile as you open your backpack and pull out your items to begin your homework. 

You’re about two hours in of doing your homework, Ari giving up twenty minutes after starting, when your phone dings, the screen lights up and shows the small message icon. Putting your pencil down, you pick up your phone and unlock the screen, clicking on the message. 

[3:17 pm] Hanbin: Hey Y/N. Are you free later tonight?

You feel your heart’s beat pick up as you reply.

[3:18 pm] Me: Hey. I’m free later. What’s up?

Locking your phone, you put it down to distract yourself from your mind going crazy, but it seems Hanbin is a quick texter as your phone dings once again. 

[3:18 pm] Hanbin: Would you like to meet up and have dinner together? We could eat at the dining hall if you prefer.

Maybe it's because she's your best friend, or maybe it's because you let out the biggest gasp—it's probably the gasp, but Ari asks, "What happened?" You turn to her with the widest eyes you think you can ever have. No words are forming, so you can only stick your phone out to her. She gets up from her chair and takes your phone, reading the message. Her eyes grow big, a shocked smile growing as she says animatedly, "You better go."

"I can't," you blurt, taking your phone back.

"You can, Y/N. If you like him, and he's asking you to hang out with him, take advantage of this! Who knows! Maybe he'll like you back and the two of you will go out and act like a cute couple. The jock and the shy girl. It's your typical teen movie!" She sounds so excited, as if she’s telling her favorite book to you.

"What makes you think he's a jock? You and I technically barely know him."

"He looks like he works out. He could play baseball? He hits those home runs like he can hit your home run right after—"

"Ari," you groan, covering your ears, no longer wanting to hear her perverted comments.

She cackles, "Okay, okay. I'm done." It's quiet between the two of you as you remove your hands from over your ears. "But I do think you should go. You never know what could happen. It could turn into something more, but it could also turn into a friendship."

You let out a long sigh. "Okay," you mumble, replying with shaky hands.

[3:23 pm] Me: Sure! If you want to come here and eat, or we can meet at the food court on campus.

[3:23 pm] Hanbin: Great! I'll meet you on campus if you don't mind

"What did he say?" Ari asks, no longer by her bed but looming over your shoulder to try and read your texts.

"He wants to meet at the food court," you answer, thumbs hovering over the keys with no way of replying coming to mind.

"Tell him you'll meet him there! Pick a time and we'll dress you cutely," Ari chimes, voice in a sing-song tone. You can only ignore her happy toned comment as you reply to his text.

[3:24 pm] Me: I don't mind

[3:25 pm] Hanbin: See you at 5? :)

Your heart races.

[3:25 pm] Me: See you at 5 :)

Ari squeals, "My Y/N is going on a date!" Grabbing your arm she pulls you to your feet. "You have almost an hour to get ready, so we need to work."

You turn to her. "Why do you make it sound like it's going to be a mission to make me look nice?" you ask in an offensive tone.

She lightly smacks your arm. "You know what I mean. We have less than an hour to make you more cuter than you already are. I feel like Hanbin is into cute girls while Yoongi is into hot girls, so cute is going to be so much easier because you're already cute. We just have to find the perfect outfit and apply some light make-up. Maybe put your hair up in a bun?" she rambles, opening her closet to look through her endless line of clothes.

"I don't want to look like I'm actually trying," you announce, watching her as she pulls out a light pink tank top and holding it out towards you to see how it would look.

"This is cute. Take it." Grabbing the top from her, Ari goes back to her closet and digs through it once more. "You won't look like you're trying. I'm going to dress you like you were in school a few hours ago. Cute outfit, light to no make-up, and hair in a messy bun." Ari brings out an olive colored cardigan. "Put this on and keep the jeans you're wearing."

You roll your eyes, take the clothing article and walk to the bathroom. After a quick top change, you come out to see her setting up her make-up station. "Sit, sit." For the remaining short time that you have, Ari works effortlessly to do your make-up perfectly and get your messy bun to look obviously messy but cute. By the time she is done, you have ten minutes to make it to the shuttle stop before it takes off and you have to wait another thirty minutes. She looks at you with such satisfaction. “You are so freaking cute, Y/N. If no guy dates you, I will.” 

You chuckle. “Thanks Ari.” 

Grabbing your wallet and bag from Ari, she grabs you by your shoulders to spin you around towards the door. She pushes you as she rushes, "Now go eat and have fun, and call me if something is fishy! I'll get there in a blink of an eye and beat the shit out of everyone that hurts you." She opens the door and pushes you out, pushing the door close before you can say anything. You can only sigh. How long will it take before Ari realizes your phone and keys are still on your desk. The door opens, Ari shoving your keys and phone at you. "Love you!" she says as you take your belongings.

The door closes leaving you alone. "Love you, too," you mutter, putting your wallet and keys in your bag. Doing a quick dig you luckily found earphones. You do a small cheer and put in your earphones, connecting it to your phone as you begin your walk towards the stop. You mouth the words to the song as you leave the building, make your way down the stairs and once again follow a group of people across the parking lot and towards the shuttle and bus stop.

You enter the shuttle seconds before the driver closes the doors and takes off towards the campus. You take a seat by the window and watch the scenery go by at a somewhat fast pace. Your favorite song comes on. It’s a somewhat romantic song and you can't help but wonder if this is a sign. A sign for you to move on and let your feelings grow for Hanbin?

You shake your head. You don't know if he has feelings for you. He kissed your forehead—it's not like he kissed your lips or cheek. Plus he was drunk so he probably doesn't remember it or if he just did it out of a friendly manner. Maybe he kisses all his friends who are girls like that. Maybe all his friends.

The campus comes into view as the shuttle drives past the main entrance to enter through the side where the driver will stop at the first stop. A few get off as a few enter the shuttle. After a few seconds of waiting for the cars to drive by, the shuttle continues its route. As the second stop begins to appear, the vehicle slows down, coming to a stop behind a bus. You grab your bag and follow one other student off the shuttle, thanking the driver as you step off the last step.

A few people run past you to make it to the bus that looks like it’s about to leave. You hope they make it as you make your way towards the main food court. As you begin to pass the student union building, you wonder if he meant the food court next to the bar and grill, or the food court that’s on the floor in the building you are now passing. Turning the corner that will lead you towards the escalators to the higher level of the campus you meet eyes with Hanbin, who’s exiting the same building you’re walking by.

He smiles. "Hey," he says, slipping his backpack on.

Taking in a quiet, shaky breath, you say, "Hi."

He walks alongside you as the two of you make your way towards the escalators. "I wasn't sure if we were meeting at this food court or the one by the bar," he laughs.

You smile, relieved he feels the same way you felt just moments ago. "Yeah. I wasn't sure either, so I thought the main one would be where you would be."

"Me too. I was on the first floor watching people bowling and I spent a good five minutes deciding if I should just go to the second floor or meet you at the one up here." He points to the building at the top of the escalator. "Guess I chose correctly."

You giggle, "I guess I chose correctly, too."

As the two of you step onto the escalator, letting it take you to the top, Hanbin asks, "What are you in the mood for?"

Crap. He put you on the spot. Now you actually have to think about what you want. You don't know—you didn't have time to think about it. You were so worried about meeting up with him and the whole kiss thing that you totally forgot about what it is that you two are going to eat. What do you say? Greek? Chinese? Japanese? A burrito? A burger? What. Do. You. Say? "I'm not sure yet," you blurt. Close enough.

"Shall we flip a coin?" he questions, fishing out from his pocket a coin. You nod. "Heads are whatever is up here, and tails is whatever is on the second floor." You nod again, watching as he gets the coin into position and tosses it into the air. The two of you watch the coin flip over and over again before landing back in his hand as he does one more flip and reveals the result on the back of his hand. "Tails it is." He gestures to the escalator behind you. "Guess we should go back down."

You smile turning around and following the line to the escalator and going down. "So what are you in the mood for down there?" you ask him, hoping he'll take the bait and pick rather than ask you again because you still do not know.

Hanbin taps his chin in thought. "They have a sub shop as well as Mexican I think?" He seems to have a eureka moment as he snaps his fingers. "There's a pizza shop outside the main entrance. Are you in the mood for pizza?"

Ah. Sbarro. "Yeah. Pizza sounds great."

"Okay, we'll just go through the court and head outside," he informs, taking the lead and entering the student union building. You follow in suit, walking inside and following him past all the tables and chairs that are taken up by students eating and chatting. You enter the lobby of the building where in the center of the room is the student information center. Walking out the front entrance door, you see it’s a bit similar to the outdoor seating by the food court. Along both walls are different stores. Hair parlor, a bank, and so much more along with the pizza shop to your left. Running along the shops are tables and chairs for students.

Walking towards the shop and entering the small building, you place your orders, arguing with Hanbin for a minute about paying, but he pays and the two of you wait at a small table. "Uh," Hanbin begins, adjusting in his seat across from you, "The reason I asked to meet you is because I wanted to talk about that kiss."

You swallow. "Okay."

He looks at you guiltily. Oh boy. What is he going to say? There are so many ideas that are running through your mind, but you don't want to listen to it. You don't want to let that get to you any longer. That fear of maybe it isn’t meant to be. Hanbin interrupts your thoughts, "I wanted to apologize for kissing you. I know it was sudden and I should not have done that—especially drunk, but..." he trails off, looking away. Scratching the back of his head, he mumbles, "I have a crush on you, and in the heat of a drunk moment, I kissed you. However, that doesn't excuse my actions."

You’re frozen in shock. Did you hear that correctly? No... Right? "What did you say?" you ask, voice just above a whisper.

"I'm sorry?"

You shake your head. "No, after that. The... uh."

Hanbin seems to catch on. The color on his cheeks change to a pinkish color. "I"—he clears his throat—"I have a crush on you."

"When?"

"When?" he repeats and you nod. "I guess since we met at the party. You were kind and pretty, and drunk you were even cuter." You're totally hallucinating. Right? "I just wanted to meet to apologize. I'm not looking for you to like me back or anything—plus we just met. I barely know you really," he rambles, and continues to ramble that you’re not even listening anymore.

Take advantage.

"I like you, too," you blurt, voice completely uneven.

Hanbin stops talking and is now staring at you. "What?"

You can't meet his eyes as you repeat yourself, "I like you, too." You look back up at him.

It’s like a weight is lifted off his shoulders and the slight fear in his eyes disappears. Hanbin smiles the biggest smile he can and it causes you to smile as well. "Shall we get to know each other more?"

You nod, and for the rest of the day the two of you sit, eat and talk about everything and anything. You discover his favorite color, why he decided to become a film major and so much more. From just his stories you love his older sister, and his mom is just an angel.

Sadly the sun is going and the shop is closing, so that means it’s time for you to go. The two of you continue to talk as you make your way towards the bus stop. When the two of you reach the stop, you see your shuttle idling by. Most likely waiting for time to go by before it takes off towards the dorms. You made it just in time.

"Well," Hanbin begins as you turn around to face him, "I guess I'll see you later."

You smile, acting like a schoolgirl as you twirl your finger around a loose string on your bag. "Yeah. I'll see you later."

Hanbin chuckles. "Bye, Y/N."

"Bye," you reply, waving as you turn around and enter the shuttle, showing your ID as you take the first seat. You can't see who else is in the vehicle, but you see a few heads. Thankfully they're all back seats kind of people so they can't see all your giddiness. Your phone rings and you quickly pull it out of your bag, forgetting you never put it on vibrate. You frown, answering the phone and looking out the window to Hanbin.

"Would you like to go on a date this weekend?" he asks, gaze towards the door where you had entered.

You chuckle, shining the light from your phone on the window. His attention is now where you are. "I'd love to."

[sergeantsporks]

Do You Want the Knife You Left in My Back, or Can I Keep It?

Rating: Teen and up, Gen

An injured Hunter wanders into Hexside. What was Luz supposed to do, just let him bleed out on the floor?

Ch 5/6

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4

Ao3

Luz turned the cursed knife over and over in her hands. Viney had given it to her, joking about how her teachers were getting a little bit worried about why she had it. It was so small, but it had caused so much damage and pain.

“Hey, Luz, what do you have?” Eda asked, peering over her shoulder.

Luz felt the tiniest of grins creep over her face. “A KNIFE!” she yelled.

“NO!” King yelled back from the other room.

Eda plucked the knife out of her hands. “No weapons for you until you stop corrupting King with your human realm culture.” She squinted at the knife, peering at the runes on the hilt. “Oh, that’s a nasty one. Is this…”

“The one Kikimora used,” Luz said softly, “Yeah. I’m… not sure exactly what to do with it.”

“Give it to the golden nerd,” Eda joked, “Let him stab Kikimora back.”

Luz snatched the knife back. “Yeeeeaah, I don’t think that’s the greatest idea, Eda. Do you mind if I keep it with the other weapons?”

“Knock yourself out, kid.”

Luz set the knife carefully on top of a cabinet. What a nightmare. Who was even in the business of making weapons like that? She heard a groan from the other room, and she darted out into the living room. Hunter was awake, and had apparently just discovered that he couldn’t move.

“Hey! You’re up! And not fever-ish! How are you feeling?”

He buried his face in the couch again. “Ow.”

“Yeah, Viney said you’d be really sore. But hey, you’re not dying anymore, and you’re finally pretty conscious. So…” Luz pulled him up, shaking him. “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

“Ow. Ow. Owowowowow, Luz! I can’t—”

“Move, I know, which is why we’re having this conversation now! Before you can wriggle out of it! Why would you leave the house?! Were you trying to run away? Kikimora was out there! You were barely even conscious when I left! She almost killed you!”

“I know. I knew she was out there, I knew she was setting up a trap, I just…”

“You just WHAT?! What could she have POSSIBLY said or done that made you stumble out of here, half-dead?!”

Hunter’s ears burned red, and he mumbled something she couldn’t quite hear.

“What?”

“She said she’d kill you,” he said louder, “She said she’d kill you, and I staggered out of here like a great big idiot in shining armor. I don’t know why I bothered.”

Luz’s mouth opened and shut a few times as she struggled to find words. She let Hunter’s shirt-front go, and he sank back onto the couch, wincing. “Oh,” she said finally, “Were you… going to trade yourself for me?”

He snorted. “Fat chance.”

“Hey!”

“What?! Trade my freedom for your life?! That’s the dumbest trap in the book, she’d just kill both of us! Who would fall for that?”

Luz felt her own face flush. “It’s not THAT stupid! Sometimes you don’t have much of a choice!” She flopped down to the floor. “What exactly was the plan, then?

“Easy,” he said simply, “I was going to rescue you.”

It was Luz’s turn to snort. “Wow, I never could have predicted that going wrong.”

His ears turned red again. “Hey! I can take Kikimora—I’ve done it before!”

“Yeah, when she was punch-drunk on sleeping nettles and you had a staff! Not when you were half-dead from being stabbed and feverish!”

“If you must know,” he sniffed, “I was planning on sneaking past her, not confronting her directly!”

“Awwww, well, I’m very flattered. Even if I was never actually captured. Thank you very much.”

He looked away. “Whatever. I just figured I probably should help. Since you saved my life and everything.”

Luz kicked the couch. “Admit it. You were worried about me.”

“No, I wasn’t. I was worried you’d annoy Kikimora to death.”

“You weeeeereeeee. You were totally worried. We’re friends now.”

“You’re not my friend. Shut up.”

“I am. I am worming my way into your heart.”

“Yeah, a bile leech can do that, too, you’re not special.”

“A what?! Ewwww, never mind, don’t tell me.” Luz kicked the couch again. “Whatever. Keep being a grump, I’m not giving up on you.”

Xxx

Hunter watched Luz race up the stairs. His palisman fluttered down onto his shoulder, chirruping reassuringly.

“Don’t you start,” Hunter grumbled, “I can’t be friends with her! She’s the enemy!”

Another low chirp.

“Yeah, I KNOW technically you’re the enemy, too, but you’re an EXCEPTION to wild magic being dangerous. She’s like. Public enemy number one.”

“Wild magic isn’t dangerous,” Eda commented as she came through. She stopped, looking down at him. “I… heard what you said. About wanting to save Luz. Kid, why didn’t you come to me? You could have died out there! You nearly did!”

Hunter felt his ears start to burn again. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“Oh, wouldn’t I? I had a sister in the coven, and I saw how she turned out, so let me take a guess; you thought it was something you had to do on your own. You thought that if you accepted help, that made you weak. You thought that you’d made a horrible mess of everything, and you were scared that if you didn’t clean it up before the person in charge—me—found out, you’d be in trouble. Am I close?”

“No. I’m not scared of you.”

“Why you little—” Eda took a deep breath. “Shut up and listen, I’m trying to talk you through your trauma.”

“I don’t have any trauma.”

Eda found that incredibly hilarious for some reason, nearly bent double from laughing. “Oh… yeah, okay, kid. Sure. Alright, you’re not scared of me.” She looked him dead in the eye. “But are you scared of Belos?”

“No,” Hunter said automatically, “I’m loyal to Belos—there’s no reason to be scared of him.” Titan, he hated how his voice wavered. He wasn’t scared of Uncle Belos—he wasn’t. He just… didn’t want to disappoint him. As long as he did what he was asked, everything was fine.

Eda sighed, sitting down next to him and looking up at the ceiling. “Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say. Look. Kid. If. You ever feel like you’re not safe in the keep. Or. I don’t know. You just finally figure out that Belos is not a good guy. If you don’t want to stay there anymore. I—guess—hrk—okay—Hngh—I guuuuuuess I wouldn’t mind. Too much. If you… came here?”

“What?!” Hunter yelped

Eda jumped up. “What?! I didn’t say anything, did you say something? Whatever, bye!” She summoned her staff and flew out the door before he could respond.

The palisman still nestling on his head warbled at him reproachfully.

“What? I can’t stay here! And I’m not going to leave the palace! So it doesn’t matter if she’d let me stay here or not!” He tried to get up, but his muscles were too stiff, and he gave up, instead flopping backwards onto the couch cushions, his palisman forced to flutter off of his shoulder and land on his head instead. “Ow. I just… want to go back home. Where it’s not confusing. Where I know what people want me to do—where I know how they want me to act.”

Still.

It was nice that she’d offered.

Xxx

“Ow!”

Luz dabbed at the stitched-up cut with the disinfectant Viney had left behind. “Quit being such a baby! You want to get another raging fever?”

“It would probably hurt less!”

“Scream into the pillows,” Hooty advised, sticking his face right in Hunter’s, “It’ll help!”

Hunter let out a strangled yelp.

“Hooooty!” Luz protested.

Hooty flopped down in front of the couch. “Lulu was in the emperor’s coven, and we’re the beeeeeeest of friends. I think the emperor’s coven is actually full of people who just want friends!”

“Hunter,” Luz said, wrinkling her nose at him, “Doesn’t want to be friends.”

“He can be my friend!”

Hunter screamed into the couch cushions.

Luz poked him in the ribs. “Hey, that was just rude.”

“If I could move, I’d tie your bird-worm into a bow,” he growled.

“But you caaaaaaan’t,” Hooty sing-songed.

Luz pushed at Hooty’s face. “Alright, alright, get out of here, give him some space.” She finished cleaning the stab wound and taped a fresh bandage to it. Hunter didn’t react, not even to complain about the sting, and she knelt down next to him, nudging his shoulder. “Hey. You okay?”

“Everything is so… complicated here.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know what anyone wants me to do!”

“Hunter, we don’t want you to do anything. I didn’t bring you here because I want something from you, I brought you here because it was the right thing to do.”

He groaned. “You don’t get it, of course you want something from me, everyone wants something from everyone, but I can’t figure out what it is you want me to do here! You keep saying I don’t have to do anything, and that this isn’t business, but—”

“Hunter. Hunter. Look at me. Look at my face.”

He turned his head with a wince, and she helped him sit up, squishing his cheeks between her hands and forcing him to look her in the eye. “I don’t want anything from you. Not one single thing. Neither does Eda, neither does Hooty. Got it?”

“But—”

Luz squished his face harder, cutting off his words. “No buts! Nothing! No ulterior motives! We are not Belos, we are not Kikimora. You don’t have to give us anything. I want to be your friend, Hunter, a real friend. Gus and Willow and Amity drop everything to help me, and they never expect me to do anything back. I’d do the same for them. And I’m trying to do the same for you.” She let go of his face. “Okay?”

He bit his lip, looking just about the most lost she’d ever seen him. “Mmmmmmmmmm…”

Luz sighed. “Right. Can’t change an entire life philosophy in a day, I guess. Okay, uhhhh...” she spotted King eyeing Hunter with narrowed eyes that she knew meant he was about to pounce. “…King wants to use your lap as a nap spot. You can’t really move around anyway, so…?”

Hunter almost immediately brightened. “I can do that.”

King almost immediately catapulted onto Hunter’s lap, curling up. “Ha. You tried to lock me in a cage. Now I am the ruler! I hold the power, here, and you are in a cage of my making!”

Hunter glanced down at demon in his lap. “He… doesn’t have worms, does he?”

“Hey! King is worm-free, thanks very much!” Luz leaned in closer. “But between you and me, you might want to watch out for fleas,” she murmured.

“That—that was a joke, right?”

Luz straightened up, running for the door. “Okay, have fun, you two, I’m off to school!”

“Luz! Tell me it was a joke!”

Ch 6