#technically its 11:48 here soooo i finished it before the end of the day call that iconic and living up to my word

[frisbee-camp]

Let Me Help (Complete!!)

AO3 Link//Wattpad Link)

Tj and Cyrus have been friends for a long time, but will that change after life comes crashing down and impulsive decisions catch up to them? (Angst, Ambi, love notes, slow burn, aged up so they’re all in high school, god tier ships, mental health, and like a whole bunch more ladies! Let’s get this angst.)

Chapter 18: Bonus Chapter: Why Would I forget that?

"T you gotta eat something," Cyrus gently coaxed TJ's face away from his computer screen, he had spent all day furiously typing and deleting and retyping his common app essay. He had no idea what to write about, he had told Cyrus that no college would ever accept him. He had said that he was just another white boy who wanted to study film. Cyrus hated when he put himself down like that, but he was right. TJ was just average in the eyes of the college admission process.

TJ frowned at Cyrus as he cleared space to sit on the dining room table. They had been together for a little more than a year now. One year, two months, and three days to be exact thought Cyrus. Cyrus handed TJ a plate of steaming pasta freshly ordered off of Grubhub. TJ smiled a bit as he took it.

"Thanks," he grumbled as he swirled fettuccini Alfredo around his fork. Cyrus knew college applications made him irritable and grumpy, but he didn't mind. He knew he could always get him to smile with Tyler James' favorite food group (cheese).

"And what do we say?" Cyrus pried. The last year had been life-changing for Cyrus, he had started to be bolder, less afraid of uncertainty and judgment.

"Thank you, Cyrus," Tj mumbled as he scooped heaps of the pasta into his mouth.

"And?"

"And I love youuu" Tj smiled sweetly at his boyfriend.

"Thank you T, I love you too." Cyrus grinned and hopped off the table. "Come on," he said, "take a break. Maybe we could find some inspiration outside." Tj got up and hesitated, "Yes T, you can bring the pasta with you," Cyrus added as he took his hand.

It was brisk outside in TJ's backyard, the flowers were in full bloom and the night was full of hope. They sat on TJ's grandparent's old lawn chairs, in silence while TJ finished his food. It didn't take long.

"You eat so fast, you're going to get sick" Cyrus said.

"You're the one making me sick," TJ chuckled and grinned at Cyrus. "Loooove sick" Cyrus rolled his eyes at the cheesy joke but smiled on the inside.

"Think of a better joke next time," Cyrus said calmly as he leaned into the old chair.

"What?" Tj gave a dramatic gasp and smiled wide "next time you nag me?"

Cyrus closed his eyes, "Whatever," he said as he imagined them as an old couple, lovingly annoying the heck out of each other, "I still love you."

Cyrus felt TJ grab his hand, "I know, I love you too."

They stayed like that for a long time, holding hands with closed eyes, their breaths synchronizing and the moon softly illuminating them in the grey moonlight. This was it. This was what Cyrus had hoped for when he agreed to be with TJ, this calm, this balance, this stability. It was what he felt when TJ was near, he felt invincible and calmed, like a hummingbird resting on a branch. He breathed out.

"You know," TJ finally whispered after a long time, "this is where I finally realized I liked you."

Cyrus hummed and finally said, "Liked? Past tense?" TJ lightly laughed. Cyrus would do anything for that laugh.

"You know what I mean Cyrus," Cyrus' eyes were still closed but he knew TJ was looking at him with that soft look that made his insides turn liquid. He opened his eyes and found him staring at him. He melted.

"I know" Cyrus said with a sly smile, "you're mom told me."

Tj's eyes widened and he sat up, "My mom told you?!"

"Yeah," Cyrus stayed calm, "we're friends. She said that Amber told her. Cute right?"

"Oh my God, so that's where you go when I'm doing homework? You hang out with my mom?" Tj sat with his mouth open, Cyrus thought it was absolutely adorable. "That is so embarrassing what the hell." They both laughed as TJ started connecting the dots. The coupons he found in Cyrus' backpack a couple of months back, the inside jokes between them, Cyrus coming back to Tj's room with canned bloody Mary's. Cyrus watched as TJ shook his head and slumped back into the lawn chair. "You're ridiculous," he finally said and settled into a light smile.

"Maybe so Tyler James, maybe so."

When they decided to go back inside, TJ moved his college station to the living room where he sat crisscrossed on the floor while Cyrus laid down with his head in TJ's lap. Things had calmed in the past year, Andi and Amber were the epitome of perfect girlfriends, Marty and Buffy still adored each other, Jonah and Walker had broken up but they were still friends, and he and TJ were, well, an old married couple. Cyrus had finished his homework for the week. He normally spent most of his time at Tj's house now. He hadn't come out to his parents officially yet, but they did catch him and TJ kissing on the porch a couple of weeks after they had gotten together. It was strange, Cyrus expected a sit down with lots of therapist talk but instead, they never spoke directly of it. Instead, they would sprinkle in phrases like, So how's your boyfriend and You know Cyrus, that boyfriend of yours is good to you why don't you invite him over? Tj had already known his parents, but sitting down for an actual dinner was awkward and Cyrus hated it at first until he saw his parents laughing at Tj's jokes and asking him for his pie receipt. He had focussed so much on the bad that he forgot that maybe things just sort of...work out on their own.

He felt Tj's cat Petunia sit on his chest. He was a shiny light brown cat with crystal blue eyes that glowed even in daylight. Cyrus had picked him out with Tj's mom, but TJ didn't know that. Cyrus lightly scratched at Petunia's chin, who immediately nuzzled into the touch and purred as he laid on Cyrus' chest.

"What are you writing about now?" Cyrus asked as he looked up at TJ who was now clack clack clacking away at his laptop.

"About how my boyfriend is better friends with my mom than I am."

"You'd definitely get into an ivy with that one."

"I don't need an ivy, I need UCLA" TJ frowned at his screen, the light made him look flushed out and ghostly. The essay wasn't due for another two months, but TJ had already finished every other part of the application. He had never seen TJ so set, so driven, it was nice but it terrified him. California wasn't that far, only an hour or so flight, but an hour is an hour. In an hour he could die or crash his car or fall off a cliff or worse, TJ could stop loving him in an hour. He would find himself a cute artsy film boy and forget about Cyrus altogether. Cyrus was excited for TJ on the outside, but he was horrified. Cyrus had been thinking about college for years now, but thinking is different from actually having to go. He didn't want TJ to leave him already, they had only had so much time together.

Cyrus later explained this to TJ's mom while they shopped for holiday gifts in late Autumn, a couple of weeks after TJ had sent in ten applications to colleges around the country.

"Well Cyrus, you know what I always say," TJ's mom said as she floated through the department store in her signature pink fur-lined robe. She answered herself before Cyrus could even understand the question. "There is no greater punishment than that of being abandoned to one's self," she said in one breath before sipping on a mug tumbler Cyrus knew she had filled with something vaguely fruity and definitely alcoholic.

"You've literally never said that before Dawn," Cyrus said. He loved Tj's mom for all the reasons she annoyed TJ. She was erratic and outspoken and her advice was absolutely horrible in every single way. She'd tell him to leave the country every time he was mildly inconvenienced. It was this ridiculousness that always brought Cyrus back to his senses.

She sighed and put an entire rack of clothes in her cart, "What I have or haven't said in the past doesn't matter. If tyler leaves then I know you will wallow in pain, but that's the point no? Young love and all that. If he stays you will also wallow in pain because you'd feel like you held him back from his dreams. There is no winning. No one ever wins except The Man. Do not let The Man win, no matter what." They had made their way to the shoe aisle and Dawn was now sitting trying on heels in the mirror.

Cyrus frowned at no one and nothing in particular. He hated this moment. He just wanted Tj to decide already, but he knew that decisions wouldn't be out until spring. He felt Dawn push back his hair out of his face, just like how TJ does when he wants to say something important.

"Cyrus honey," Dawn's blonde hair fell in perfect curls around her face, "I can't pretend to know how you feel, but I do know that I was in love once," her voice was softer now, genuine. She sounded like TJ during their midnight facetime calls. "And I know that it hurts, that it makes you feel like you're on top of the world one second and down in the darkest dungeon of hell the next. But you can't stop that from you enjoying it because you'll always remember it. Now please help me get this heel off my foot. It's cutting off my circulation."

So, as Cyrus sat on the floor of the Nordstroms Rack pulling a seven-inch heel off Dawn's left foot, he let go. Not of the shoe, but of TJ. He wanted him to live his life, with or without him. He wasn't going to break up with him, he just didn't want to emotionally tether him to Shadyside, this town of less than a thousand, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

The winter in Shadyside was brutal, unrelenting, and cozy with TJ beside him. Cyrus tried being less clingy, he called TJ less, only slept over at his house twice a week instead of their usual alternating schedule, and didn't dare talk about the future. TJ had been so anxious waiting for college decisions to come that he barely noticed. It was limbo, but Cyrus knew it was for the better. It would be too hard for both of them if Tj left one day and never came back.

One day, the day before Cyrus' birthday and UCLA admissions decisions, Tj and Cyrus found themselves in the park with the swings. They sat in silence, swinging slowly.

Finally, Cyrus spoke, "Tyler James Tanner Kippen, I want you to know that whatever happens tomorrow, I love you no matter what. If you get in or not or decide to leave or not I'll support you and you shouldn't stay here, no offense to Utah or whatever but this place sucks and if you go to Shadyside College I'll kill you dead with my own two hands and force you to transfer and-"

"Cyrus-" TJ stared at him.

"And! I'm not finished Tyler! And you need to freaking live your life and if that means going to California or France or the freaking Serengeti you need to go-" Cyrus was angry and blotchy and it felt like his lungs were about to burst.

"Cyrus," Tj cut in, "I don't deserve you. I haven't been there for you the past couple of months and I'm sorry I really am. I-" Tj stammered and looked down and away, "this year has been so weird, college is so weird and I don't want to leave you and I won't I promise I just, I don't know what's next."

Cyrus softened a bit, he bit his lip. "I'm scared," Cyrus said through tears. Tj wiped away a few tears of his own and grabbed his hand. It felt like Cyrus had just gotten used to the feeling, he hated knowing that in a few months the feeling could be gone and he would be stranded.

"I'm scared too," Tj admitted. Cyrus felt Tj's hand tighten, "Cy you need to promise me that wherever I go you don't follow."

"Wha- What? What do you mean?" Cyrus gave a confused look. Was he breaking up with him?

"I don't mean it like that I just mean that wherever I go you can't just follow because I'm your boyfriend. I want you to decide what's best for you not for us." Tj swallowed hard and continued, "Pinky promise."

They shook their pinkies, "Pinky Promise" Cyrus affirmed.

The next day Cyrus didn't see Tj at school. He had woken up to Andi, Buffy, Jonah, and Marty throwing balloons and confetti in his face screaming Happy Birthday at the top of their lungs. He laughed but couldn't help but notice TJ's absence. He knew today was the day most college decisions came out and TJ would probably be home refreshing his UC portal until 3:00. He understood, he felt selfish for wanting TJ all to himself.

School that day was as boring as always, but his friends had promised they'd do something fun after school.

"We're going to the freaking zoo Cyrus!!" Andi and Buffy had screamed in his ear right after throwing more confetti in his face that morning. He loved the zoo sure, but he hadn't talked to TJ all day. No texts, no calls, no facebook messenger notifications. Nothing. Matter of fact, the more he looked around, the more he noticed just how many seniors had skipped the day. None of the jocks were at school, nor the theater kids, it was empty in more ways than one.  

After the last bell, Cyrus' friends basically dragged him to the zoo. They knew he missed TJ and wanted to make up for it in the more over-the-top ways. Andi kept buying him cotton candy and Marty even bought him a koala backpack. Buffy even gave him a piggyback ride most of the way around the park. Cyrus was grateful but after an hour wandering the zoo, he was exhausted and just wanted to go home and sleep. He looked at his watch and saw 3:00 come and go. He sighed as his friends dragged him around one last corner, by now he was barely hanging onto Buffy's back. He huffed into her hair.

"SURPRISE!!!" Cyrus screamed a high pitch wail as his friends and family appeared out of seemingly nowhere. He hadn't noticed that he'd been navigated into an indoor event space, crawling with dinosaur dioramas and cardboard cutouts of kangaroos with party hats. He was still slightly panicking on the floor when someone dragged him up.

"Surprise. Happy Birthday." smiled Tj softly, Cyrus just stared at him and looked around in disbelief, "What? Did you think I forgot? "Cyrus gave him another look, "I skipped to help set it up." Tj smiled wide and gave him a quick peck on the lips and led him to the others.

Cyrus' entire family was there. Both sets of parents, uncles, aunts, TJ's friends from the basketball team, some of Walker's art friends who spoke in riddles, Amber and her friends, and even some of Jonah's old frisbee friends. They were all there for him. For him. He gave a wide smile and joined the party.

Once the excitement died down and everyone was full of chocolate cake, Cyrus pulled TJ aside and raised an eyebrow. TJ sighed and looked back at his mom Dawn and his twin sister Amber, "No luck," he said defeated, "denied." Cyrus felt his heartbreak for him, he wanted to send everyone home and grieve with TJ.

"You can always transfer in," Cyrus gave his last shred of advice, but he knew it was futile. TJ would never go somewhere where he wasn't the first choice. Tj softly smiled and held Cyrus' cheek in his hand.

He gave Cyrus a sweet kiss, "I love you Muffin," he said and walked back to the crowd.

Tj spent the next few weeks sitting quietly waiting for other decisions to roll in. The sadness from his rejection from UCLA was short-lived as he was accepted to basically every other school (except the ivy's of course). TJ even received a full ride to New York University, his second choice. He was ecstatic. He had spent so much time thinking about UCLA that he forgot that there were other universities.

"Wow," Cyrus said longingly, "New York City."

The summer went by too quickly for Cyrus' taste. TJ spent most days talking and researching what to do in New York City. Cyrus tried to be happy he really did, but Cyrus cried every time Tj said goodbye, even if he was just going home to check up on his mom. Then the day came where TJ packed up his room, and then came the day where he drove him to the airport, and then the first day he wasn't in Shadyside at all.

Amber decided to take a gap year to volunteer in a country Cyrus couldn't pronounce the name of, so he spent a lot of time grieving with Andi. It was lonely and the school year sucked but he tried to enjoy it the most he could. He would get calls from TJ every day so it never really felt like he was all that far away. He'd tell him about his classes, and the parties, and how everyone in New York was mean unless someone needed help. Cyrus had told TJ that he could break up with him to be a free college kid, but TJ refused. He even said that he was offended and that he would never do something that selfish.

Then the day came where he was writing his essays and sending in his test scores. It was grueling and he thought it would never end but then he remembered how TJ had written his essay on how his mom's relationship with his boyfriend would inspire his first film and he'd laugh to himself. Cyrus wrote his essay on the detrimental effects of having too many parents.

And then Cyrus got his acceptances and rejections. He had been rejected to every school except one: Columbia University in the City of New York. He couldn't believe it. He was going to New York too.

Andi ended up at Parsons to study design, just down the street from TJ. Buffy went somewhere in the pacific northwest where she started playing soccer. Jonah went somewhere hot and cheap, Arizona State. Walker went to Parsons with Andi and Amber decided to join the peace corps, and Marty went to CSU Long beach to learn how to surf.

Cyrus' time at Columbia was short-lived, he stayed a semester before transferring to NYU because it was arguably better for screenwriters.

He had never told anyone, but NYU was his top choice, even before he knew TJ had applied. TJ and Cyrus spent their days eating dollar pizza and basking in New York City parks. Cyrus was finally completely happy.

THE END

authors note: after high school reed goes to jail for aggravated assault and lester goes to community :) lmao