#technically it's all supposed to go on tortillas with sides | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

1zashreena1 · 4 years ago

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Angst Fluff Whiplash -14

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: What does an apex predator do after confessing undying love? Princess is about to find out.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Non-descriptive sexytimes, the L word, criminal activities glossed over, relationship building, plus size woman+fit man, Anxiety, This one is all feels and

I Am So NOT Sorry.

THE TIME HAS COME

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic @symbiont13 @nicke0115 @bunnykjm @rosee-sensuelle @girlpornparadise @mandoplease @heresathreebee @xxsteph-enrixx @jetiikad @joalsglasses @mutantcookiesecrets @demoncatstone @squidlywiddly87 @lockedoutofmyotherblog @poeedamerons

"I don't know, Lisa. He won't tell me. Not until this weekend apparently? We're supposed to go shopping."

"Honestly, I'm scared. I mean, there's the whole how did he get a passport FOR me dilemma. Then the part where he knows I don't like surprises. And he said he was calling my sister!"

"Oh my God, she could tell him anything! Please don't tell him about the Backstreet Boys phase. I'm going to have a panic attack."

"Of course he would tease me about it for eternity!"

"What? Watch what words? What are you talking about?"

"Do not hang up this phone! Do you even love me?!? Lisa? …. Hello?"

You toss your phone down on the bed and heave a huge sigh. Your very own BFF, abandoning you like that. Luckily its your own phone and not the insane cell Diego got you because it bounces off the other side of the bed and smacks into the wall before admitting total defeat to gravity.

You stand there staring at your open suitcase. Your typical items are in there already. You don't need any toiletries. Or makeup, now. Or bras. Or underwear. Fucking hell, its like I already moved into the penthouse with him.

… Could I do that? He already basically asked for it. He keeps telling me to quit my job and let him spoil me for real. You wring your hands together while rubbing your lips against each other and being bombarded with intrusive thoughts. Yeah. Until he's done with me and then I have to start all over. At 35.

But its been almost a year now that you've been seeing Diego. What does that even mean, "seeing" him? You think about how the last few months have been so… easy. He practically lives in New York now, their territory split. He opted to control the East Coast and let his sister deal with the logistical nightmare of receiving the imports.

He has been a lot looser since then. Faster to laugh, quicker to goof around, less likely to do anything as hard as he used to do. The distance from Alicia has allowed him to really flourish in every aspect. And he's beautiful with it. The laugh lines and the soft brown eyes wreck you every time.

He says he wants to keep you. Take care of you. You finally believe that he loves you. He has made so many improvements in communication. Hell, he read books on how to be with someone on the spectrum. Do you understand it? Hell no. Are you going to take it and run? Fuck yeah dude. I love him and I want to keep him.

And now he wants to take you on a trip. A surprise destination. Out of the country with a mostly legal passport. You don't doubt that you'll be safe with him. Your parents were a little concerned when you told them since they've never even met him. And they saw him on the national news that time he got arrested by the Feds, so that really inspires confidence.

Your middle sister Lynne and niece Halley accidentally met him that one afternoon about a month back. And they have not shut up about it since. Diego this, Diego that, blah blah blah, paid the restaurant bill in cash, yadda yadda, took us all shopping to a Coach store and then got Halley some crazy new sold out Nikes. Diego had been delighted to be surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls enjoying his spoiling attentions. Just like always, Diego went to the max and charmed them silly.

It was like having an out of body experience to see Diego with them. You couldn't really fault them, he swept you off your feet with no problems. He was grinning and joking the whole time, making raunchy comments with your sister and encouraging your niece to be assertive (unnecessary according to her soccer coach and the 'Most Aggressive' trophy). He fit right in with them. Afterwards he had asked if that was what it was like to have normal siblings and your heart broke thinking about what his childhood had been like with his sister.

Which brought you back to the here and now. He had mentioned off hand that he was going to call your sister. Maybe you should text her. She might know something.

Maybe you should just pack your bag and trust him.

Your Diego Cell chirps and you dive for it on the nightstand. Is he okay? Please don't be hurt.

Its a pic of him. In the shower. With his own hand wrapped around himself. You choke on air and have to sit down.

I miss you Princess

Holy. Shit. Its been almost a year that you have had unrestricted access to that incredible body and your reaction is still the same. Before you can respond another text arrives:

SOON

The attached pic is just from squinty eyes up.

You burst out laughing at him. You love that he is secretly a nerd about internet stuff. His appearance would never give that away. Time to be ridiculous right back.

Don't make me lick your eyeball

You are a crazy person laughing to yourself alone in your bedroom.

You are so weird

Yet there you are, lusting after this weirdo

You shoot back.

… Am I the weirdo??

No. Still you.

I would threaten to bite it.. but you would like that

Well now you have to

Oh my God. You're fairly certain you could do anything to this man and he would think it was sexy. Its a novel experience.

Can we eat dinner at home tomorrow? I don't feel like wearing a real bra

You know the answer to that.

YES. NO MORE BRAS EVER AGAIN. BE FREE

… no panties?🙏🥺

You can see the hopeful puppy dog eyes clearly.

A for effort babe. One of these days you might get your wish lol

...Are you panty free right now?

Wow. He is really trying here.

I'm packing.

Your pic is a heap of tangled thongs dumped on top of Tiny Murder Panther.

💜🔥😛

He would find that hot. Fucking nympho.

Lemme finish this so I can go straight to the airport tomorrow

Fine. But I am pouting

You do not doubt that.

Don't care. Still love your stupid face

You cannot believe you just sent that.

Princess.

Mi amor.

Diego's good little girl.

You shudder with the praise. You can hear it in his voice, as if he were right here with you.

I love you

Dream of me?

Oh baby, if you only knew. You sigh wistfully.

Always, baby

---------------‐---------

The flight is uneventful, thankfully. Your maxidress with a built-in shelf bra is stupidly comfortable and you actually take a nap.

The plane has barely come to a stop and you already have on your silly lambswool lined Ugg flip flops. You had argued with Diego about these (Why would flip flops need a warm fuzzy lining??) but he had won by sticking one in your face and ordering you to feel. It didn't take a full second for you to snatch them both from him and cuddle them to your chest. His pleased smile full of dimples was worth all the subsequent teasing.

You slip on one of his previously stolen shirts in a metallic lilac color and roll up the sleeves so you have use of your hands. Bending at the waist, you flip your hair over and fluff it back up from the nap. What was that he had said? Oh yes: Wild and thick, just how I like it. The memory makes you bite your bottom lip and smile.

Bastian is waiting for you on the tarmac. He takes your bag and kisses you on the cheek in greeting. "Hey, sweetie. Nice shirt, is that new?" His knowing grin is infectious.

You nuzzle into the collar with a laugh. "Thanks! My boyfriend gave it to me."

Bastian chuckles as he opens the passenger door for you. "Oh, honey. That is not all he is going to give you." He closes the door while you roll your eyes smirkingly.

The ride to the penthouse is uneventful. Well, as uneventful as Friday evening rush hour traffic can be in New York.

Bastian waits until the song is over before lowering the stereo volume. "We're supposed to pick up dinner. Any requests?" He drums his fingers on the steering wheel while you sit at the red light.

You ponder the options. "What kind of a day has he had? Meetings? Tours? Disciplinary action?" You ask Bastian thoughtfully. Sometimes when Diego has a bad day he likes comfort food. Mostly a giant heap of rice and beans next to homemade tortillas, he isn't so picky about the variety of meat.

Bastian glances at you out of the corner of his eye before warily answering, "There was a… termination… at a construction site this afternoon that took longer than expected. That's why he didn't come to get you, he wanted to shower first."

You keep your eyes focused forward to look out of the windshield. "Okay. How about Jalisco's then?" Comfort food it is.

Bastian nods and adjusts course to obtain those tortillas.

‐--------------------

The instant the elevator doors ding open Diego pops up from the sectional and comes straight at you. Your giant sidestep to let Bastian pass is barely completed before Diego is slipping those big hands under his own pilfered shirt to crush your body to him. Your arms go around his neck like a reflex, like this is their natural resting place. He leans his forehead down onto yours and kisses you so very gently.

"Mmmm. Hi." You murmur softly into his beard. Those bottomless brown eyes look over your entire face before coming back to your own. His smile is huge, those dimples make your pulse trip. He blinks slowly down at you, just like the big cat you nicknamed him after.

"Princess. How was the trip?" He always asks you this. You still aren't sure if its just culturally specific manners or if he is requesting a review of the flight crew's performance. Either way, your answer is always the same.

You pull him back down so you can cuddle into his neck. "Its better now that I'm here." He rubs his cheek against your own and purrs directly into your ear in response. Your body's reaction is immediate and decisive. You shiver in his arms and your nipples peak to full attention.

Except this time is different. With only a bralette and the dress's shelf bra Diego can clearly feel what just happened in real time. His eyes are comically round as he peers down at your cleavage in pleasant wonder.

"Oh. I like this outfit." His hands rise up your back to crush you further into him. You chuckle and rub your chest on his firm pectoral muscles. He watches hungrily as your compressed decolletage rises higher yet from the added pressure. "New rule to match the bedroom pants bar, no bras in the penthouse. Fucking magnificent, bonita." He licks his lips after making this proclamation.

You throw your head back and laugh joyfully.

‐----------------------

As it always does the weekend passes too quickly. Its already 1:00pm on Saturday when you two finally come down from the bedroom.

Diego is delighted to hear that your time-off request was approved for the trip. You had told him not to worry about it, your boss always kept her word about this stuff.

That’s when he pulls a ridiculous pith hat out from under the couch. It looks like it came straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon about a big game hunt on the African savannah. You lose your entire shit and laugh until you do that silent clapping seal move.

Diego keeps repeating, "Wait, stop laughing. Stooooop." But he isn't faring much better. You finally wipe the tears and calm down enough to take it from his limp fingers while he chortles a few last times.

"Baby. What. What the fuck. What fucking is this??" You plunk the hat on your own head and Diego collapses facedown into your lap to gigglesnort uproariously. "Stop. Stop laughing. Stoppit!" You smack the back of his head lightly until he comes up for air.

He closes his eyes and composes himself. You take the opportunity to plop the hat on his head.

"Oh my god, that is so sexy!" You declare in high dramatics.

He grabs your hands and leans in very close to explain. "You need this hat for our trip." Your eyes narrow in suspicion. "You will wear it for our safari quest…" he pauses for dramatic effect and your lips twitch in suppressed amusement. He leans closer yet and captures your stare. His face is hilarious, you can tell he is biting his cheek to keep from laughing. His eyebrows are drawn down in concentration but his eyes are widened in mock excitement. He sucks in a deep breath to exclaim, "To locate palm trees in the wild!"

He laughs as he puts the hat back on you.

You blink a few times in shock. Palm trees? You're going somewhere with palm trees? A tropical locale. Palm trees. Beaches. SWIMSUITS. Your sudden panic must show on your face because Diego's laughter dies off.

You blink furiously, but its too little too late. The tears burn as they well up in your eyes and spill down over your cheeks.

He reaches out to cup your face. "Princess?" His tone is an even mix of concern and fear. "Bicki? What?"

You shake your head 'no' and throw yourself into him. Diego catches you and hauls you into his lap. You curl up against his chest and sob quietly. He pets over your hair, open handed strokes so his fingers don't tangle in the curls, and soothes your back while you shake. Rubbing his nose against your temple, he kisses your cheek and whispers, "Do you want to write?" His gentle care only makes you worse. "...so that is no." He looks crestfallen. He buries his face in your hair and breathes heavily.

Your tears are slowing and your chest is finally beginning to loosen. "Dieg-" you hiccup, wrapping both hands around his forearm. You wheeze a few times before trying again. "I. I. Where? Where are we g-going?"

He sighs deeply before answering. "Nowhere. I won't take you somewhere you don't want to go. I should have known better. I-" He snaps his jaw shut so fast that his teeth click together.

Tilting your head back, you try to catch his eyes. Diego won't look at you. "H-hey, please." You cup his jaw and pull him down to you. He comes, but the motions are stilted. "Look. Please, baby. Let me s-see you."

When he finally meets your eyes it breaks your heart. That chocolate gaze is disappointed, hurt, frustrated even. You wiggle around until you're straddling his lap. He just holds his hands out of the way, not hindering you but certainly not helping either. Standing up on your knees to lean your forehead against his, you reach for his hands and bring them to your chest where you lace your fingers together.

"Baby. I want that." Your nose rubs against his as you speak. "I want to go everywhere with you. I never thought I would ever get a chance like this. To travel? To go somewhere tropical? To have someone who loves me enough to do this for me?" You're crying again. And so is Diego? A little??

He brings your joined hands up to tap your chin. His face is adorably conflicted when he speaks, "You… want to go?" You nod slowly. His eyebrows lower as he tries to make sense of this. "Then why do you cry? Are they, the uh, is that 'happy tears' ?"

Your hands shake in his. "Yeah. Happy tears. I just. I was overwhelmed. I'm sorry." He huffs out a sigh. You continue, "Its almost like the super intense emotions short circuit my responses and I guess my default is panic crying? I don't know."

Diego huffs at you again. "Please stop that. I'm going to have a heart attack." There is a hint of real annoyance in his voice but his lips curl up at the corners.

You free your right hand to reach up and brush his wet lashes. Why did something this little bring him to tears? "Baby, is everything okay?"

He leans into your hand, then turns to kiss your fingers. You giggle, you can't help it, his beard both tickles and delights you. He smirks at you, "It is now, Princess. You should get dressed so we can go."

But you're not done here yet. "Where are we going on the trip? A place name, not foliage that may or may not be present."

His Cheshire cat grin is intriguing and mildly worrisome. He gives you one word, "Xcalak." And then watches while you access your mental map and pinpoint the exact location.

It takes you a moment but you find it with a gasp. "Costa Maya? Like Caribbean-sea side of Mexico??" He nods and you immediately start in with 20 Questions. "Are there cenotes? Is the water really those unreal colors? Is the food amazing there? Can we see ruins?"

Diego cups your face to stop you. "Whatever you like, little girl." With a kiss to your nose and a smack to your ass he ushers you upstairs to get dressed.

-----------------------

The shopping is less traumatic than normal for you thanks to Diego making enthusiastic innuendo nonstop and feeding you between stores. You find sandals, and flip flops, and little slip-on sneakers. All kinds of flowy maxidresses and flouncy skirts paired with new tank tops in buttery soft fabrics. Cover-ups and kimonos and huge airy loose knit sweaters get rung up with linen pants and shorts you actually feel comfortable wearing.

But swimsuits? A disaster. Everything that fits your hips is way too big for your ribcage. Tankinis big enough to go around your middle are about a foot too wide around your chest. You try some maternity stuff… amazingly there isn't any chest support. That confuses both of you for almost 20 minutes while you discuss it over croissants and various iced beverages (coffee for him and some kind of hot chocolate slushie for you).

Then you look across the street and inspiration hits. One of the stores you order bras from is right there and has bra-sized swimwear in the display window. Diego turns to see what stole your undivided attention from him and slaps his hand down on the table in celebration.

You aren't sure which one of you is more excited to get into the store. But while you run around exclaiming at all the things that come in your size Diego stands in the doorway and gawks. When you circle back to check on him he just points to one display wall.

There is lacy, frilly, corseted lingerie. In. Your. Size.

He demands one of everything that fits you and isn't red, brown, or yellow. You don't even argue.

The store does alterations and makes very good recommendations. The sales clerk is impressed with Diego's input, she comments that he really does seem to know your body well. You flush with it, glad that he isn't close enough to hear that. You leave with three bags and seven personalized swim outfits under construction. One is ready to wear and you keep reaching into the bag to touch it in wonder.

Diego notices but just gives you a raised eyebrow.

"This is the first time I've ever felt good about how I look in swimwear." You confess quietly.

Diego wraps a massive arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side while you continue down the sidewalk.

--------------------

Sunday is a mess as you try to make pancakes and Diego tries to remain physically attached to you like an excessively attractive barnacle. The pancakes are either burnt or still batter in the middle. Leftover carnitas and tortillas to the rescue. Diego teases you about the kitchen failure all day because this is the first time he has witnessed such a thing.

You doze on the couch under the pretense of "reading". Diego rotates through his laptop, cell, and the soccer match on ESPN+.

Until his phone rings.

You both tense up. Only one person calls him instead of texting. He takes the phone into the office to answer his sister. You wait on the couch to see which Diego you get back: silly tickle fight Diego, sad puppy dog eyes Diego that requires cuddles, or angry Diego that needs to fuck you through the nearest horizontal surface.

The elevator dings and Julio comes in with a tray of coffees. "Ay, Gordita. Buenas tardes. I got you the hibiscus thing you like." He greets you with a big smile, then looks around when he doesn't see Diego on the sectional with you.

Hopping up to help him carry stuff, you point to the office in indication of Diego's location. Julio makes a face, "Hermana perra?" and you simply nod. Julio takes Diego's iced coffee and bites the bullet for you. The door closes softly behind him.

You munch plantain chips and slurp hibiscus lemonade until they come out. Diego just looks tired when he comes back to you on the couch, coffee in hand. You open your arms in invitation and he plops next to you with a sigh. Cuddly Diego it is.

He doesn't tell you anything and you don't ask. Everyone watches the match mindlessly. Diego snores softly in your lap while you pet his hair.

He rides to the airport with you but you forbid him from coming onto the plane with you. He is already making this harder than it has to be with his big brown eyes and clingy hands.

"Baby." You breathe into his hair while he snuggles into your neck in the backseat of the SUV. "Its only a week. We do this every week." You pet down his bicep and immediately regret it.

"I know." Diego huffs into your skin. "Why don't you just quit? Let me take care of everything." You go through this almost every week now, too. He nuzzles you, the sensation makes you reconsider his proposal. You pull his head up by a fistful of soft hair and look him in the eye. He blinks guilelessly at you.

"Number one: No. Number two: Stoppit." He laughs at your fond exasperation. "Okay. I'm gonna go. You stay on the ground."

"Fine." He whines. "But I am going to send you a dick pic the moment that plane takes off." He crosses his arms as if daring you to tell him no.

You cup his stupidly attractive face in your hands for a kiss. Okay, several kisses and 27 minutes later, you respond, "Send me one every day. Its my favorite dick." His startled laugh makes you feel very pleased with yourself.

He pulls you into his arms again to kiss you one last time. His beard scratches and you sigh into him. Finally that tongue retreats and he rests his forehead on yours. His voice is low and rough, his hands squeeze tight on your hip and thigh, "I love you, Princess."

Will that ever stop hurting? You close your eyes against the burn of tears but smile with happiness. "I love you, Diego." You pop the door handle before you open your eyes to see him watching you, jaw tense. You stick your tongue out and he breaks into a smirk. With a laugh, you slide out of SUV and walk to the plane, determined not to look back.

When you get up the stairs the pilot greets you, but his gaze shifts behind you. Turning around, you see Diego standing outside the SUV, arms crossed and trying to look so not soft. You smile and mouth Bye baby, he gives you a short little wave. You duck into the plane before you can start crying.

The wheels are not, in fact, off the ground when the phone chirps.

‐-----------------------

The trip is a few weeks out and there is some kind of emergency at the San Diego docks the next weekend. So. You don't get your Murder Panther fix.

And your coworkers notice. They spend all day Monday strolling past your cubicle, straining their necks to see if you're wearing new shoes or some fresh bling. Finally someone has the nerve to ask how your weekend was.

You find yourself blinking back tears. I miss him so much. This is ridiculous, he just texted you at like six this morning. But its not just the conversation you miss, now is it? You miss that big body crowding you into the corner of the couch. His soft curls under your hands. That beard on literally any inch of your skin. Draping yourself over shoulders wider than your hips and knowing that not only can he take your weight, he likes it.

He says he wants to keep you and you desperately want to keep him. Why do you fear this? Is it just his profession? The risk? Oh god, how do you even go about introducing him to your parents??? Diego can be all kinds of charming but he can be a real asshole, too.

And they know what he is: A criminal. For your boomer parents he is the living embodiment of Public Enemy Number One.

Grand Theft.

Money Laundering.

Arson.

Murder.

International Cocaine Trafficking.

HE IS A LITERAL DRUG LORD.

You lay your head down on your desk and try to keep it together.

Your Diego Cell chirps.

Your laughter bubbles up until it comes out of you without your consent. It turns hysterical and you realize you need to leave the office suite. Now.

In the bathroom you stare down at the phone as it lights up again with another message.

Miss my Princess💔👑

How? How is someone who can do all those illegal things so nauseatingly sweet to me?

And then it hits you. Illegal. You didn't use the word immoral. Illegal. You think back to how everyone you see working directly for him is well into adulthood. No children. There are a few women but they are not being sold by him, they are there by their own free will. And he has never laid a hand on any of them, they're just as comfortable around him as the men are. No sex trafficking. You saw someone give their resignation last month. The dude walked away with a suitcase of cash for a decade of trustworthy service. Its a better retirement plan than what I have.

Have you seen him assault people? Yes. You've seen him stab people. Carve off someone's ear because they weren't listening as assigned and it cost the Jimenez Cartel a shipment. You've seen him push an informant down an empty elevator shaft. Choke a man into unconsciousness with his bare hands when you were disrespected.

And you still love him. Not a single one of those incidents weighs on your conscience. Your morality is a dingy grey 12 year old men's undershirt that you should just throw away but you're definitely going to cut into rags to keep for cleaning when it comes to Diego.

The cell lights up again.

Mi amor 💞😍🍑🏝✈⏲👙

You don't know what's worse: His excessive and ridiculous usage of emojis or the fact that you understood.

Look what came

The attached pic is a few pieces of your new swimwear. They look gorgeous, you can't even tell where the alterations were done.

You have to try on all of them. And show me

Of course he wants his own personal show. You feel desire burning low in your belly. Its been a year and not once has he ever shied away from your stomach rolls or hinted at weight loss. He never questions the food you order. And while the two of you have chuckled about shapewear he has never mocked you for using it. Or seemed disappointed when you opted not to wear it. He tosses you around like its nothing and prefers for you to sleep on top of him. Its not that he loves you despite your weight, he loves it as part of you.

-------------------------

Its now Thursday and the desk drawer where you keep your purse at work is vibrating. He knows I'm at work. If he calls right back I'll answer him. You try to keep your Diego Cell out of sight at work or you'll never get anything done. Plus your coworkers are always dying to catch a peek of your infamous sugar daddy/boyfriend.

Yeah. Boyfriend. Keep practicing that. It feels good.

You finish the insurance call and hang up your headset when the vibrating starts again. Your next door cubicle neighbor pops around the divider to advise you to answer that before he comes down here and abducts you.

What deity should I pray to for that??

You snatch Diego Cell and march out to the hall. Poking the green button, you answer the call.

"Baby. You okay?"

"Princess! I… yeah. I'm not hurt."

He sounds odd. There is definitely something going on here.

"What's up? You need me?"

The silence stretches.

"Yes. Please?"

Diego sounds very uncomfortable. It causes you physical pain.

"Well, you have me. What is it?"

You can hear him swallow and in your mind you picture him looking away, hiding some soft emotion shining in his eyes.

"Baby?"

"Here. I am here. I just. I just wanted to hear you."

Something is very wrong with my Murder Panther, you think.

"Babe," your voice is soft, you're trying to ease him. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He huffs and you can hear him scrape a hand down over his face. "I know you are at work. And I should not have called. But."

His voice trembles, even over the phone you can hear it. He's afraid.

"Diego. If you need me, then you have me. Tell me, baby." You try to be reassuring but you also really need to know what is wrong.

"I would like to come down there." His declaration is overly formal. You wonder who he is trying to impress. Its certainly not me.

"You… want to come down here instead of me going up there this weekend?" You're trying to make sense out of any part of this conversation.

"I…. grrrrrrrrr." He growls in frustration. Between English being his second language and your sensory processing issues, this is not an uncommon occurrence. He sucks in a deep breath and charges forward in an emotional rush. "I know you're working, but I want to come down there because I miss seeing your face." Before you have a chance to answer he adds, "Pick me up? At the airport, after work? Please, Bicki." His voice cracks at the end and his inhalation is ragged. Your heart implodes.

"Diego. Baby. Of course. Of course I will. I can be there by six." You have a mental flash of how dirty your bathroom is, all the clothes you have laying around, and the vacuum you haven't touched in over a month. Diego needing me is more important.

"Good. Good. Yes, I. I will text you. When I land." His voice is raspier than ever, low and gravelly.

"Sure. I'll be there." I'll always be there.

"Okay. You… you should go." You can hear his determination. You can visualize him squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, taking on the Jimenez Cartel persona.

"Hey." He grunts in acknowledgement. "I love you." You blurt it out before you have a chance to talk yourself round in circles. You can hear voices in the background.

"And you. You as well." The call ends, but you know.

---------------

You're sitting in your car at the little regional airport second guessing the coffee you got when the phone chirps.

Here

Springing out of the car, you wave to the security guard as you trot past. "Hey Jim, I just have to grab someone real quick. That's okay, right?" You wave vaguely back toward your car parked in the fire lane. There are only four security guards who work here and they all know you at this point.

Jim laughs but waves you on. "Go get 'im, sweetie." Jim must be pushing 90 by now, he doesn't care about traffic laws.

You enter one of the two sets of automatic doors on this entire building and cross through the tiny lobby. There. You can see his dark hair and ridiculous shoulders over a completely unnecessary row of potted plants. He must hear your echoing footsteps because his head whips around in alarm, but his face relaxes into a wide smile. He lengthens his strides to come around the stupid plants, hands automatically reaching out for you.

"Diego." You laugh breathily and fling arms around his neck. He smells so good.

He crushes you to his chest and buries his face in your neck. "Printhesss." He murmurs into you, slurred because he refuses to remove his mouth from your skin.

Turning your head to kiss his cheek, you moan shamelessly for him. He surges back upward to capture your lips and kiss you with mild desperation. That devious tongue sweeps over the roof of your mouth before curling up behind your top front teeth.

Your entire world narrows down to Diego. Chocolate. Tastes like the smoothest Belgian chocolate in existence. He smells perfect, clean but definitively male to you. His silky button-down is smooth under your hands, stretched taut over muscle. Those massive hands gather you closer, molding you to that big, solid body. His beard scratches your face in soft tickles when he alters the angle of the kiss just so.

"Goddamn." A woman's voice exclaiming somewhere behind you catapults you back into the here and now. Which is a dinky little regional airport in rural central Pennsylvania. You know, a very public location in a very prudish area of the country. Fuck.

You pull back and Diego's hands shoot up to the back of your head. Holding you in place, he leans his forehead against yours with a contented sigh. He rumbles softly to you, "Take me home."

You feel so silly seeing Diego in the passenger seat of your Corolla, he just seems so out of place. "You can adjust the seat however, nobody really sits there. I just put it all the way back to make sure you can get in without cracking your head." You sound nervous even to your own ears.

Diego turns to you with a response but his attention is captured by the cup holders in the center console, specifically the Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup. He points to it, then looks up at you with a slow grin. "Princess. Is this for me?"

You flush but can't stop the embarrassed little smile so you cover it with sass, "Well, it sure as hell ain't for me." You start the car and give Jim a little wave. He winks and gives you two thumbs up. Yeah, I'm aware that you saw that kiss too, old man. Everyone saw that shit.

When Diego reaches for the coffee his fingers brush your hip. The contact burns and you suddenly remember that you have not touched this beautiful man for well over two weeks. Apparently he remembers, too, because he wraps that huge hand around your thigh with rather a lot of force. Right hand slapping down to cover his, your heart rate jumps through the roof. Did I take my blood pressure pill this morning?

"Don't." You choke out.

He rumbles softly next to you, purring with conceited pleasure. "Did my Princess miss Diego?" He asks you with an incredibly pornographic voice.

"Oh, fuck you." Your answering groan is also obscene. So glad the windows are up.

His hoarse chuckle makes your thighs tremble. "You're Diego's good little girl, you will." He's right and you both know it. You would ride him right here in your own damn car if he demanded it. You have a problem.

He lets you redirect his hand to the coffee with only a little resistance. "Focus." You hiss.

"Me or you?" Diego quips.

"Yes." You declare.

Diego's guffaw is contagious and you don't even try to hold back.

Your apartment always seems like an adequate size until Diego is inside. No, bad Bicki. Do not say it like that. His presence just sort of… lounges about in a vaguely threatening but highly attractive manner. Much like the actual man on your couch. You tried to pick up dinner on the way but he just wanted to 'go home'. You are disgustingly happy that your place feels like home to him.

Diego had flopped on your couch immediately and hasn't moved since. Something is very definitely very wrong. There were bursts of your Murder Panther in the car, but he has been just subdued overall. He had turned your stereo up and smiled faintly, watching you sing along. He had also complained that the stereo in your car sucked (Agreed) and this was unacceptable. You're sure he'll do something ridiculously extravagant to remedy this.

You try to give him the remote, he takes it but doesn't do anything with it. You offer him food, both junk and something home-cooked, all you get is a shrug. You putter around for a while, picking things up and sighing before putting them down somewhere else. His dark eyes watch you, unfathomable.

Finally you disappear to the bedroom only to return in your pajamas. This he likes, perking up and blinking rapidly. "Okay, I know you brought something softer than those jeans, so get comfy so I can order shitty pizza and cuddle you."

His jaw drops in momentary shock. Then he scoffs, "I do not cu--"

You cut him off, "Yes, you do and yes, you're going to. Up. Now." This has to be hilarious. This short little woman in overly long pants barking orders at the massive man who heads an international drug cartel. Well, its either hilarious or fatal. I'm about to find out.

Diego looks around, as if someone else might secretly be here to witness him be a little bit submissive and moderately soft. He raises his chin in a tiny show of defiance. "Fine. But I am showering first." He glares with this proclamation, daring you to contradict him.

You throw your hands up in the air. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?? His eyes follow your hands, like a cat when you try to point out a bit of food but all it does is rub your finger. You sigh, resigned to your fate. "Of course that's fine, Diego. You know where everything is, have at it."

You watch his butt as he walks away to the bathroom.

The pizza actually isn't shitty and Diego eats half of it by himself. When you offer him the cinnamon dessert sticks he shoots you a calculating look. You split the contents, pulling two sticks over to yourself and piling up the rest in front of him. His delighted grin is decidedly not calculated and you lose track of time watching him enjoy dessert.

He's beautiful like this. He wears a soft, silky t-shirt that is tight enough to help you get through the nights you spend alone. His hair is a riot of fluffy curls, free of product and clearly trying to break free of gravity, too. He hasn't shaved for at least a few days and that salt and pepper beard is filling in nicely. His face is unguarded, expression open, those laugh lines and dimples you love make frequent appearances.

After dinner you lay all over each other in some weird we-have-intimacy-issues approximation of cuddling. It works so you don't question it. He has his laptop and you have your tablet and together you have sporadic conversation. Its comfortable.

Until Diego asks you a seemingly innocuous question that you know is very nefarious:

"What color do you like in cars?"

Your eyes narrow so much that you have trouble seeing. "...Why." Your low tone might be frightening to anyone else.

He looks at you over the laptop screen, brown eyes innocently wide. "Just curious. Your car is green. Do you like any other colors?" He slowly pulls the laptop closer to himself to subtly cover the screen with his bulk.

"Diego." You slowly put down your tablet and start leaning toward him. He has nowhere to go, propped up in the corner of the chaise end of the sofa. "What. Are. You. Doing."

"Will you let me take care of you? Just in this one way right now?" He licks his lips, brow furrowed in concentration. Building desperation shows in his eyes and you can't fight that. You don't want to win this.

"Let me see, baby." Your sighed acquiescence has an instantaneous effect. Diego drops the tension from his shoulders and opens an arm to you in invitation. You crawl up him to cuddle into his chest, wedged on your side between all those muscles and the back of the sectional. From here you are stationed directly in front of the laptop screen.

He is looking at cars.

Armored cars.

Armored, bulletproof, explosive resistant cars.

What. The. Fuck.

"Diego, what the fuck is going on?!?" Your apprehensive demand sets him right back on edge. You can feel him go tense underneath you. The laptop gets shoved onto an empty cushion as you throw yourself over him. Tiny hands land on those broad shoulders with extreme force as you use all of your deadweight to trap him. Below you, Diego shakes but you can't tell if its from anger or anxiety because his eyes are scrunched closed tightly. "Tell me why I need a fucking bulletproof car!"

He surges up into your face to match your volume, "She knows! Mi hermana perra knows about you! Alicia found out about us!" You lurch back in shock, but the steel hands on your hips stop you from retreating. His voice is hoarse, louder than you've ever heard him, and its terrifying. Your fear must show because he releases his grip on you like it burns.

"WHAT?" The ramifications here could truly be lethal. Alicia has already tried to set Diego up to take the fall when they were arrested almost four months ago. You know she has scorned Diego's familiarity with his men in the past, that is why he handpicks them personally. To Alicia, everyone is disposable, even her own brother. Her only loyalty is to herself.

Diego's hands come up in an aborted reach for you. You're still too shocked to move. His face crumbles in agony and he blinks furiously, hands balling into fists. "Everything I have ever wanted she has ensured I never got. She, she manipulates me into destroying everything I touch. I will not let her hurt you! I refuse to allow her to break us, mi amor!!" His volume has steadily escalated until he is yelling.

He's afraid. He is afraid that he will lose me. The realization emboldens you enough to take his hands in your own, bring them to your chest, and press them close to your heart. You trust that he won't hurt you in his rage. You don't fear him, this dangerous, powerful, ruthless man that you love.

His hands open to slide up your shoulders, curl around your neck, and his thumbs glide over the pulse point under your ears. He brings your face to his own, his expression twisted up with fear and anger and possession and love.

"You are mine! And I will keep you!"

You realize everything that you have been debating with yourself, all of your pro versus con lists, your stupid little dry erase board covered in sticky notes with your fears, your scribbled timeline of events and possible future predictions, none of it matters. All you care about is the man in your arms. Diego is the most important thing in your life and you can't imagine a life without him. If you had to give up everything to keep him, you would do it in a heartbeat.

Your hands grip tightly around his wrists and you consciously straighten your spine. Expression hardening, your eyes open to meet his anguished gaze.

"I want black."

The armored 2020 Camry is delivered that Sunday. You thank him for finding something inconspicuous with an upgraded JBL sound system and he compliments your understated color choice of Black Sand Metallic. By the time you drop him off at the airport that evening you've managed to replace the new car smell with something better and you're thankful that the leather seats just wipe clean. Monday morning in the parking lot at work, however, is a literal ordeal.

---------------------

The next two weeks feel like they’re seven months long. You clock out at noon on Thursday to a chorus of your coworkers making vaguely lewd remarks and howling with laughter about your vacation. 'Two whole weeks on a beach in Mexico with an absolutely loaded hottie' is what they've been repeating gleefully all week.

You turn around and walk backwards to give them finger guns, "Yes," then you reach down to adjust your pants, "And YES." Their squeals are contagious and you're still laughing when you burst out the front doors to drive home.

You turn the volume waaaay too high in the car so that your teeth vibrate and it feels like you're having heart palpitations. I love this fucking car and I love that man.

There is a rental Tahoe parked in the grass next to the huge gravel driveway at your farmhouse, but he left the second assigned parking space next to your Corolla open so you can park The Beast (as you have affectionately named your new ride) appropriately while away. When you get out of the car you glance up instinctively, Diego is standing outside your front door on the small third floor balcony laughing.

"Are you deaf yet, Princess?" He hollers down in amusement.

You flip him off with the middle finger that wears the gemstone ring he gave you while yelling back, "WHAAAAT??"

His laughter fades as he disappears inside, leaving the door wide open to let out all the cold air. Were you raised in a barn?? Close the door, the electric bill-- You cut off your own thoughts when you suddenly remember that you haven't been paying that electric bill for the last six months. Nevermind.

Before you can start up the stairs, Sara, your first floor neighbor, appears on the porch with their toddler. "Hey stranger!" Sara waves with a big smile and the kid does the same but with some kind of unidentifiable kitchen utensil in hand. "That is your boyfriend, right? He had a key so I didn't think it was your ex but I wanted to make sure. I mean, from what I just saw it is your boyfriend. Also, holy shit, that's your boyfriend?"

If she says the word 'boyfriend' one more time I'm going to spontaneously combust.

"Uh yeah, definitely not my ex. Sorry, I forget that you guys haven't really seen him before, I meant to tell you he was coming." You can feel your face burning and it isn't from the August sun. Sara fans her own face with a hand while mouthing 'he's hot' like you're somehow unaware. You forge on before she can start gushing aloud. "We're actually leaving on a trip tonight so I'll be gone for the next two weeks."

Now Sara drops the kid and scrambles over to whisper fiercely to you, "Oh my god, seriously? Where are you going? Wait, this is the same guy you've been going to see in New York, right? How long has it been, like a year? Is he taking you on a trip for your anniversary? I don't even know his name. Oh my god, that is so sweet!"

Okay, down girl. You're not sure who you're trying to will into being chill, Sara or yourself.

"Um, we're going to Mexico. And yeah, he's the guy in New York. It's just a vacation." You don't even touch the relationship questions with a ten foot pole. You glance up but Diego is still inside, Thank fuck.

Sara hops a little in excitement. "I'm sooo jealous!" She squeals. "You have to take a ton of pictures! I need to see! Oh my god, I bet you guys are such a cute couple!" You nod and start backing away, trying to wave goodbye so you can climb the stairs and then climb Diego. "Ooh ooh, wait, what's his name?" Sara hisses conspiratorially. "Does he speak Mexican? Is he Mexican!?!"

You suddenly remember why you tried to move away from this area. Repeatedly. "Yeah, he's Mexican and yes, he speaks Spanish." You sigh. Sara nods but continues staring at you expectantly. Fine. "His name is Diego."

Sara makes a stupid face like this is a rom-com movie. I cannot take anymore, you must shut the fuck up. "Okay, okay. I won't hold you up. But seriously, we can have a 'pics and wine' girls' night when you come back!" She waves maniacally before snatching up the kid and skipping back inside.

I can't think of anything I would like less. Oh hell no.

You climb the stairs in record time before she can come back outside and start talking again.

Bastian, Julio, and a third man you don't know are in your living room. You do not care and your vague wave shows it. You can hear Julio's warm 'Gordita!' greeting as you spin around and march to the bedroom.

Diego is standing at your bed, tucking TMP into your small duffel, when you burst through the doorway and continue at full speed directly into him. He laughs breathlessly but holds steady against your weight. "Princess. Are you ready?"

You take overflowing fistfuls of his shirt, bury your face in his chest, suck in a huge lungful of air, and shriek at full volume.

"Uhhh...that is a yes, si?" He mutters uncertainly above you.

You rear back to look up at him with a smile so wide it hurts.

"Oh good." His hands come to your shoulders while those beautiful brown eyes sparkle. The dimples and laugh lines come out as he absorbs your infectious excitement. Your hands shoot up to his hair to yank him down so you can crash your mouths together with bruising force.

The effect is immediate. He moans loudly and crushes you against him. You dig nails into his neck and you lick your way into his mouth, his hands snake down to your ass to hold tight. Your left leg comes up as you try to wrap it around his hips. With a pained groan he rips those lips off of yours and pulls back. Undeterred, you move on to assaulting his now bared throat, moaning like porn come to life.

"Princess," he gasps, "You have to sto-- uhhh, yes, bonita. Your fucking tongue." You're too busy licking his adam's apple to pay attention to words right now. "Nooo, mi amor, please, lo siento, stopstopstop." You get in one last nip of his collarbone as he pulls your head back via a handful of ringlets. His pupils are blown wide and he's panting hard. You stare longingly at his delectable mouth while making pitiful whines.

"Please, baby, pleeeease. You're all I've thought about for days. I need you!" You try shameless begging, you're certainly not lying. Petting over his shoulders and down that solidly muscled chest, you shudder and try to pull yourself back to him.

He closes his eyes with a grimace. "Flight! Fuck you on the flight!" He croaks, then yanks your hair harder than you like. The pain clears the fog just enough for you to blink back to awareness. You nod jerkily and step back. "Have to leave now to get there before dark." He explains in a rushed huff. You blink as you remember how time works.

"Right. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay." Straightening to attention you yank off the cardigan you wore for the air conditioning at work, leaving you in a tank top and ready to be productive. Focus on not-dick.

Diego shoves your favorite notepad in your face so you can see your packing list and not him. The distraction works. He has checked off every item in each categorized list but left the strike through action for your completion. You lower the notepad until you can make eye contact with him and intensely whisper, "You know I fuckin' love you, right?"

He laughs so hard he has to sit down on the bed.

You go through every bag, touching each item and crossing it off your list one at a time. He did it. Everything but you.

"You know I don't need TMP, right?"

"Why?" He squints up at you from where he lounges across your bed.

Your face heats up and you clear your throat. "Well, its, I'm. I have, uh, you. So I don't need anything else." The realization of how true that is in every sense gives both of you pause.

Diego surges upright to cup your face and bonk your foreheads together just a little too hard. You giggle and he huffs.

"Mi amor…" he sighs for you, eyes closing in pleasure. You 'mmmmm' in response. Then his eyes snap open and he growls an order, "Get changed so we can go!" And punctuates it with a stinging slap to your ass.

----------------------------

You spend the flight with your face pressed to the window, vibrating in excitement, except for a brief intermission of seven orgasms in the bathroom.

The unknown third man is Joey, Bastian's boyfriend. Joey is even quieter than Bastian and just as cute. They're not overly demonstrative but clearly comfortable moving around each other. Joey works in "Packaging" and does an admirable job of ignoring his cartel drug lord boss being snuggly. Julio naps.

The customs agent at the Cancun airport looks you up and down with wide eyes but stamps your passport with no questions. Its a five hour drive to Xcalak but Diego is adamant it can be done in three. You give him an eyebrow question which he dismisses with a vague wave, "They paved the road all the way to the southern border last year."

Uhh, they what now? You understand soon enough. The drive drastically changes outside of Cancun. The scenery is both beautiful and heartbreaking. There are occasional mansions with armed guards, high fences, and SUVs like your own current ride. Mostly though, its shacks and people on foot or riding bicycles, weaving to avoid stray dogs and huge iguanas. Could I handle this as my daily reality?

The first time the road sidles right up to the ocean you have a small meltdown.

"Is that what I think it is?" Your soft whisper is accompanied by a shaking hand pointing to the left. Diego, crammed into the middle of the backseat between yourself and Julio so you could have an unobstructed view, indicates an order for Bastian to pull over. He reaches across you and pops open your door. You slide out with his hand on your lower back and take about a dozen steps to the lapping water. Diego appears to your right, watching you intently.

"Its gre-e-e-en!" Your stuttering squeal is accompanied by happy tears and you fling yourself into Diego with joy. He laughs at you, but hugs you back just as tightly.

----------------------------

The first week passes in a blur of amazing food, warm green sea, fruity drinks, and shirtless wet Diego. And so many orgasms that you can't keep count. Diego is all over you non-stop, more than he ever has been before (Astonishingly). Its incredible and you feel like the only person in the world. If he's not molesting you then he is at least touching you; keeping you in his lap, holding your hand, cuddling and petting and snuggling like a man obsessed.

You love it. You love him. You love this life.

On Saturday he lets you lead him through the tiny town, your Spanish improving by leaps and bounds as you try to navigate the streets and alleys and shops. The four years of high school Spanish actually prove useful as you manage to complete a purchase all by yourself. Your playful mock smugness evaporates under the blazing desire in his eyes.

He drags you back to the casita in a much shorter and more direct route than you took upon earlier departure. You're marched directly to the bed and he puts one massive hand in the middle of your chest to gently push you down onto your back. There is something different about this, something important in his eyes. Your voice is high and soft, "Diego?"

He climbs up between your legs and leans down to kiss you senseless. It goes on forever; soft lips, scratchy beard, silky tongue, and nothing but the taste of Diego. Your moans and sighs are mixed together, there are moments when you can't tell who is making what noise. His hands are shaking as he strokes every inch of newly bared and sunburnt sensitive skin while undressing you.

It takes repeated attempts, but you finally get him naked, too. The sight never fails to take your breath away. All that soft, and now freshly tanned, skin is like velvet to your touch. You're mesmerized by his muscles flexing and then evening out as he moves above you. He finally gets your linen pants untangled off your left foot and flings them across the room with unnecessary force. Your soft peals of laughter light up his face and it brings tears to your eyes. You reach a hand out to him, "Diego. Baby."

He comes up over you, threading fingers into your hair, kissing you slowly and thoroughly. You can feel him against you, fire hot and mouth wateringly hard, but he makes no move to take you. Your eyes open in hazy confusion as the kiss ends. Diego is watching your face, blinking back tears.

He is holding your head still, hands like steel. Whatever this is, he needs it. And you want to give him everything he needs. Forever.

You're captured by his eyes, bottomless, soulful, and hungry. His raspy voice is soft and trembling with desire. "I love you, Bicki. I want everything. Forever, Princess?"

Your chest compresses and your heart implodes. Scalding tears escape when you blink and you're nodding before you even know it. "Yes, Diego. Yes, baby, I'm yours."

Your back arches off the bed as he comes home and brings you with him.

-----------------------

You wake up crushed under Diego. The sun is still up so you might be able to talk him into going out for dinner. You rub your cheek on the huge bicep doubling as your pillow and Diego sighs directly into your ear from where he is spooned up behind you. Oh yeah, we should have done this waaaay sooner.

He nuzzles your neck just to incite squirmy giggles and you don't even fight it. "I have something for you, Princess. Stay here." He pulls away and you whine about the loss of your pillow. His low chuckle burns you alive with want. "Stay like that. Do not move." You obey while you listen to him rummage around behind you.

He comes around to your side of the bed, still completely and unabashedly nude. Hell. Fucking. Yes. You love it. He hands your glasses over and you slide them on to take in the now high definition view of naked Murder Panther. The view disappears as he kneels down next to the bed so you're on eye level. His expression is very peculiar.

His hands slowly come up to reveal a small box of black velvet. Time slows to a halt as he opens the box and presents it to you.

Inside is a ring. Gleaming in platinum and sparkling with three tastefully large princess cut diamonds.

Its an engagement ring.

Diego is proposing.

He swallows hard and rumbles gruffly, "Now remember, you already said y--"

You cut him off with a shriek. "YES! YESYESYES!!"

In the time it takes him to blink twice with surprise you're on him. Arms around his neck, you throw yourself into his lap. He topples backwards and you ride him to the floor, already bawling hysterically.

He stares up at you in shock as you nod furiously and cry all over him. "Princess. You… you are certain?" If this were any other time you would be howling with laughter at his huge eyes and lax jaw.

Your answer is stuttery but determined. "Y-y-yeah. Put it-t-t-t on me already!"

He laughs in delight at your order and the imperious presentation of your shaking left hand. The ring glides on easily, a perfect fit. It gleams up at you blindingly. After a moment of admiration you lace your fingers with his and sigh at the union. His other hand comes up to roughly brush away your tears. "I know you do not like labels so much… but, you will be my, my married... Person. Thing?"

You stroke his bearded cheek in return, thumb lingering on that dimple. With a hard gulp you dive in head first. Fuck it.

"Yes, Diego. I will be your wife."

----------------------

The next time you wake it is dark out. You reach for a phone on the nightstand to your left and jump when you find one with a loud crack. Diego pops upright behind you, instantly on high alert. "Princess?" He hisses while covering your body with his own.

You gigglesnort, then meekly answer him, "I forgot about the ring and whacked a phone. Everything's okay, baby."

He sighs so deeply that his breath ruffles your hair. "Jesus fucking christ, woman. You are a menace." He flops down on top of you and snuggles back into your warmth.

You reach back with your left hand and grope blindly for his face. He licks your fingers as soon as they're in reach and you stuff them into his mouth as retaliation. He just sucks languidly.

"Mmmmmm, I'm your menace, baby. And I have to pee." He nips your fingers but rolls over to free you. You slide out of the bed and stretch your arms high while arching your back. Diego groans painfully. "What?"

Diego rises to all fours on the bed while the sheet slithers off of him. "You forget that other people can see without glasses, huh?" You cock your head and realize that you have a shadow.

It's a full moon. And I just stretched naked in front of a sliding glass door. "Oh. Huh. I guess I do forget. Oops. I'll be sure to keep that in mind now." Your seemingly tame answer is directly contradicted by the exaggerated roll of your hips that makes your butt bounce when you walk off.

"Fucking menace, woman." Diego growls as you push the bathroom door shut with a trill of laughter.

You never do go back to bed but you do wind up on the beach in front of the casita to watch the sunrise. Julio finds you both snuggled together late the next morning, still asleep on the covered daybed under the palms while the rising tide comes ever closer. At least Julio has the decency to cover your bare ass with a beach towel.

-----------------------------------

By the time you think to check your phone gallery you have… 1,792 pictures. WHAT THE FUCK.

You scroll through the pics, there are a lot you do not remember taking. Was I that drunk or did Diego take some of these? One is a close up of your ass from below wearing a string bikini, I knew I wasn't that drunk. The next pic is Diego asleep on a lounge chair, one arm curled up above his head, muscles glistening in the sun, and swim trunks so low on his hips that it's almost obscene. Immediately following that is the same pic but with your own face photobombing about three inches away from the camera and giving a thumbs up with your left hand so your engagement ring is prominently visible. Oh yeah, I remember that one.

There are videos, too. The first one is Diego making lewd comments while you twerk in the ocean for about ten seconds. Okay, that's par for the course with us. Next is you successfully backflipping off of Diego's shoulders into the green water to everyone freaking out. Shit, even I'm impressed with myself. After that is video of you gagging through a dish of octopus at some restaurant. Both of you are clearly visible in the shot so Julio must have had the phone. Betrayal.

There are tens of dozens of the two of you in various poses and outfits, both disgustingly happy and blatantly in love. There's even a role reversal shot of Diego sprawled across your lap, one enormous arm wrapped around your neck and his knees over your own arm while you grimace and he laughs hysterically. The table to your right is covered in empty bottles and mostly finished drinks. An entire subsection depicts you asleep like you have a stalker. You count no less than 29 of you two trying on increasingly ridiculous hats in random stores.

You can't even keep count of all the close ups of a smoldering Murder Panther. You feel no guilt. Aren't you supposed to be ridiculously attracted to your fiancé??

Fiancé.

You have a fiancé. Your fiancé is Diego. You are engaged to Diego Rafael Jimenez.

I have to explain this ring to everyone. They'll have questions about him. People will want pictures. How do I explain what he does?? Oh my god, there's no closet here. I have to… find somewhere. And I can't I can't. Its-

Your head jerks upright when something touches your hair. Its Diego. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he has unfurled a sheet over you to block out everything, and he waits there, watching you. Before you realize it your hands are reaching for his shoulders, just the feel of him, warm and solid under your hands, calms you.

Slowly, his right hand comes up to cover your left. "No closet, Princess." His huge fingers grip yours tightly. You nod a little. He just watches you, eyes guarded.

"Ask. Go ahead." You mutter. You can tell from his posture that he is uneasy, apprehensive.

He locks eyes with you and his gaze is intense. He curls all of his fingers around your left ring finger. "Still yes?"

The fear in his eyes breaks your heart. Your voice is shaky but determined, "No. You can't get rid of me. I'm your problem now, baby." His expression would make a meeker woman cower in fear, you laugh weakly.

He settles down on the tile floor in front of you, with the sheet over both of you. Its like four in the afternoon and I am sharing a blanket fort with my cartel boss fiancé while on vacation in Mexico. What even is my life? His elbows are on his knees, chin in hand. He studies you for a minute, you stare right back. He raises one eyebrow and you sigh in capitulation.

"I don't know how to just be happy. I suck at it." You shrug but reach for his face. Diego nuzzles into your hand while you stroke your thumb over his beard.

"Habby isz nawt a berb." He slurs into your palm with a soft kiss.

The epiphany is like a cinder block to the brain.

He's right. I don't have to 'do' anything. I'm happy right now. I've been happy every time I'm with him. And no one had to exert any effort.

People can define themselves. People can define their relationships. Why can't they define their own normal? I can make my own rules. Especially with someone like Diego as my partner.

His one eyebrow slowly rises as he watches your thoughts play out across your face. "You back?" He asks with a hidden smirk, you know its there from the way his eyes crinkle with laugh lines.

"Yup!" Is your decisive answer. Diego licks your palm. "I got better places you can lick, baby." You answer his smirk with a waggling eyebrow.

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of play wrestling and inappropriate noises.

-----------------------

You do, in fact, go on a safari. Of sorts. Tours of ruins and jungle and cenotes, lots of side quests because the both of you are easily distracted by pretty colors. You probably added another thousand pictures of various palm trees to your gallery. The hat makes multiple appearances.

Diego has to ship a crate home to New York because he bought you too many souvenirs. You laugh and tease him when he wants to pick out things for your middle sister and niece, until you hear his logic.

"They were nice to me." He murmurs with a little half-shrug, "It was like being in a real family for a little bit." He studies the bins of painted shells on display in the little store with way too much focus.

You spend a moment deliberating before you decide to reach out and touch his elbow.

"Hey," your soft voice brings his gaze your way momentarily before he goes back to ceramic turtle magnets. You take his hand with your own right and rest your left hand on his chest. Diego looks down where your ring glints in the light, then up to your face. "You know you're going to be part of that 'real' family, right?"

Diego's boyish little smile is heartbreakingly adorable.

---------------------------------

The flight home is much shorter than you want it to be and you spend most of it asleep on Diego. At one point you wake up to see Bastian and Joey cuddled up together napping. When you look up from where your head is resting in Diego's lap he is already looking down at you with an unreadable expression.

"What?" You whisper softly. You stifle a yawn and blink repeatedly.

Diego strokes one big hand over your hair and grips your jaw firmly. With a huge toothy grin he answers, "Mine."

"Uh huh. How many times you need me to say yes, baby?" You smirk up at him with an arched brow. He seems to be reveling in hearing you readily admit your commitment to him.

He considers your question carefully while his other hand trails down the front of your body under a blanket. I don't remember having a blanket earlier. Finally, Diego settles on "Every day. At least seven times. Seven is a good number, right Princess?"

Your body jerks as his fingers press between your thighs with steady determination. Your eyes flick over to Bastian and Joey, still out cold. You make a show of wiggling around to get comfortable, and, surprisingly, that involves spreading your legs. "Yessss." You hiss up at him.

Julio reclines his seat and exaggeratedly covers his face with a new hat.

Seven is a very good number.

------------------------------------------

Your first day back to work is a circus. You don't think twice about your normal greeting as you enter the office suite. You swipe your badge with your right hand and pop the door, then wave 'hi' to everyone. Like usual. With your left hand.

There is an excessive amount of squealing that makes you second guess going into a female dominated field. The whole day is a wash because you have a steady stream of people passing through your cubicle. You're glad you had the forethought to curate a photo album of appropriate images to show your coworkers despite Diego's repeated attempts to sneak a dick pic in there somewhere. You most definitely included the glistening swim trunks lounge chair picture. Squealing intensifies.

Everyone comments on the hat and you're forced to tell the story of the hat. How you once told Diego that you wanted to see palm trees, 'But like, in the wild.' And Diego had laughed so hard that he fell off the bed only to pop back up wheezing about a 'Palm Tree Safari' until you smacked him in the face with a pillow. Your coworkers think it is just disgustingly adorable that he never let you live that down.

Your coworkers have questions:

When is the wedding?

Where are you having it?

What kind of dress do you want?

What are your colors?

Are you going to do flowers?

What about the cake?

Who is your maid of honor?

How did your family take the news?

What about his family?

Are you going to New York?

Will you take his name?

Oh shit. I forgot about the whole 'wedding' part of this.

#damnit diego #murder panther #rough me up then dick me down #24 fucking 7 hours in this house #zash writes #all the feels #so gross #soft murder panther #melty princess

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canaryatlaw · 3 years ago

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okay, well today was decent. I didn't have court until 11 and not much else to do, so I got up at 10:45 (I did set my alarm for every 30 minutes prior to that to check my email and make sure nothing came up, as is my usual practice when I'm sleeping in). we waited a while for court, but that much was expected after yesterday. things didn't go quite as planned, but the judge's objections seemed largely technical, and she didn't actually seem opposed to what we were really asking for, so I wasn't too upset over it. We had a work half day (for pre-labor day) so I was pretty much done for the day after that. I decided to be productive and put a load of laundry in, and went through a few boxes trying to do some unpacking, but felt kinda overwhelmed because there's just so much stuff I don't know what to do with (it was either stuffed under my bed or in a massive pile in my closet, and I don't really have the closet space for that here) so most of it ended up in the corner pile that we're planning on sticking in a storage unit. my back ended up bothering me pretty badly after a while so I took a break and watched the second most recent legends episode since I've been behind (I missed the last two episodes while I was in NY/flying back, or supposed to be flying back) and then around 4 pm I started dinner, because we were planning on watching the new girls planet 999 episode when my roommate got home from work around 4:45. The recipe was for cheesy chicken quesadillas, and I ended up spreading them out over more tortillas because they originally wouldn't stay closed haha but they came out pretty well, though for some reason most of the cheese and chicken kind of got pushed to the top of the tortilla? odd, but still delicious. we've been trying one of the dinner prep services (dinnerly), and some of the recipes have been good, but some have been kinda bland, so idk if we're going to stick with them or try another one. I know it'll be helpful when I'm in the office more days, and I initially picked them because they were on the cheaper side, but it may be worth investing a bit more for a better one. idk, we'll see how the next few weeks go and decide from there. once my roommate got home, we started watching the episode. it was the first elimination, and they were eliminating 45 out of the 99 girls, so it's obviously a bit one (the show is supposed to have a 3 month timeline, but it took until episode 5 to get to the first elimination because there are so many contestants, so the first few eliminations are gonna be pretty large- the second they announced is going to be another 30) and we had the rankings from last week, so we had a pretty good idea of where everyone stood. the whole concept of the show is they have 33 korean girls, 33 chinese girls, and 33 japanese girls, to ultimately form a 9 member girl group. for the first elimination, voting was by cell, each one containing one girl from each group, to try and keep things fairly even this far along. korean votes count for 50% and international votes count for 50%, so I think they were trying to avoid a ton of chinese and japanese girls from getting eliminated right off the bat. most of the girls we like we knew were pretty likely to be safe, but this one girl (her name is Kim Hyerim) I started liking over the last week or so, pretty late into the voting period, and she's SO GOOD but her cell was ranked really low, so I was high key concerned about it. They were keeping the top 17 cells, then they were going to save one girl from each group with the "planet pass" by the judges pick. so pretty much everyone I liked was in the top 17 cells, except Hyerim and like, she was the leader of the group that won the overall challenge out of all the teams and heavily featured in the episode, so I was going to be majorly pissed if she got eliminated, and THANK GOD she got the planet pass or I was seriously going to be so mad. so I was happy about that. they then announced the top 9 individual rankings, which were a bit of a surprise, because everyone expected it to be korean girls in the

higher ranks, but the three korean girls who made it (it was 3 from each group, not sure if that was intentional or not) were relatively low ranked, with the highest being #4, and that girl (her name is Yujin) pretty much everyone expected to be in first, because she was a member of a very well known kpop group named CLC that just disbanded, and has a huge fanbase, so that was a big upset, but the network kind of set themselves up for it by focusing on so many of the korean girls and relatively few of the chinese and japanese girls, so the votes for them were more focused around a few girls while the korean votes were more split. the whole thing was very emotional and I cried a lot lol like why did I get myself into this?? but I was overall pretty happy with how everything ended up. the episode was 2 hours long (they're pretty much all that long, if not longer), but once we finished we just did our usual watch music videos and such until roommate went to bed. I stayed up a little while longer before starting to get ready for bed and shower, and now I'm here. I'm trying not to stay up too late because I gotta get up in the morning and head down to church for a thing for the justice center- we're gonna go around to the community and spread info about it to hopefully get more clients to help, so that should be good, and on that note I'm gonna go to bed now since I have to get up earlier than I normally would on a Saturday. Goodnight friends. Happy weekend.

#daily journal #September 2021

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nancypullen · 4 years ago

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One More Dawn, One More Day, One Day More

In less than 24 hours we’ll be rid of Trump. I don’t want to hear his name again unless it’s coverage of his trial. American voters toppled a wannabe dictator and already things are looking up. Have you seen photos of the National Mall? It’s beautiful. The Biden inaugural committee has planted more than 200,000 flags representing states and territories, and at night there are 56 pillars of light as a nod to the50 states and six territories. The installation represents us, the wonderful mishmash that makes up our nation, from sea to shining sea. Not just red or blue states, not just one gender or ethnicity, all of us.

It’s supposed to represent unity, but also the hundreds of thousands who can not attend the inauguration because of the pandemic. No one has mentioned the curtailed inaugural activities due to the sinister and seditious events at the Capitol, but you know that safety is a concern as well. The Biden team said that they have "commitment to an inclusive and safe event that everyone can enjoy from their home.” Wow, an administration that actually cares about citizen safety and well-being. How refreshing! BUT... enough about politics. My last post about ball gowns received such a positive response that I am determined to make this corner of the internet a HAPPY place again. I started this blog in July of 2007 (yeahhh, it used to be more entertaining) with the intent of putting positivity and whimsy into the world. After four years of feeling angry every day, I’m going to get back to my roots. I’m going to remember how I found joy in little things, laughter in awkward moments, and beauty in the mundane. Prepare yourselves for some happiness, folks. Let’s start with a little bit of joy for your taste buds. Good food is probably on my top ten list for things that make life enjoyable. I do not understand people who forget to eat, or even worse, who don’t care what’s on their plate. I worked with a woman once, an absolutely lovely woman I should add, who used to eat whatever was handy. We worked for the same airline and usually by the time we could grab a bit we were starving. We worked crazy hours and my lunch(or dinner) was a reward for getting through the craziness. I’d bring a Lean Cuisine and dress it up. If I packed a sandwich, it had to be pretty. Her lunch would consist of a plain piece of bread and a half cup of coleslaw - “I had to get it out of the frig.” Once she had a bowl of baked beans and an orange. I used to offer her parts of my lunch but she’d wave me off. She was not strapped for cash, she was not lazy, and she said to me “It doesn’t matter what you eat, you just need a little weight in your stomach.” Technically, I guess she was right - but where’s the joy in that? I should probably add that she never had to go up a skirt size in her entire career with the airline, and I could probably use my old skirts for hot pads now, so joy could be fattening. Anywho...last week I checked out a few library books online and then zoomed over to pick them up. One of the books I checked out was Joanna Gaines’ latest cookbook, volume two of Magnolia Table.

I flipped through, putting bookmarks in recipes that sounded interesting and decided that the first one I’d try was this -

Mmmm, what’s not to love about spicy shredded chicken, corn, cojito cheese, pickled onions, cilantro, lime....hungry yet? It was such a simple, easy recipe and had a big flavor payoff (joy!). I’ll definitely be making these again. The only extra step in the recipe was making pickled onions. But that takes about two minutes. I did it while I was in the kitchen making lunch.

The cookbook provided a recipe that required red wine vinegar, which I was out of - so I used my own tried and true method of about a half cup of apple cider vinegar, a tablespoon of sugar, a teaspoon and a half of salt, and a thinly sliced red onion. It worked just fine. This soaked from noon til around six. It doesn’t have to be that long.

To make the taco meat just put chicken breasts in a baking dish, cover them with the spice mixture, pour a half cup of chicken broth into the bottom of the pan, cover and bake. She provides her recipe for the spices, honestly you could easily use a packet of taco seasoning - your choice.

Why yes, my tin foil does have creases in it. I am Ethel’s granddaughter and con not toss out a perfectly good piece of foil if it can be reused. This was the last use for this piece, but she had a good run.

While your chicken is baking you’ll mix up the yummy topping. Couldn’t be easier. Drain a can of corn, chop some cilantro, crumble some Cotija cheese, and you’re nearly done.

Cotija cheese can be found in any supermarket. It’s often in a cooler near the taco shells and refried beans, stacked with various salsas. I always see it in a large round, but I think you can also buy it already crumbled in a tub.

I think it tastes and feels like Feta, I’ll bet in a pinch you could swap it out.

The recipe calls for a half cup of cheese...

my cup runneth over because I am a joy seeker.

The corn, the cheese, the onions, and the cilantro get tossed into a bowl with a couple squeezes of lime juice and some chili powder and salt. Mixed together, that’s the topping for the tacos.

Once the chicken is out of the oven, let it cool a few minutes and then shred it with forks, mixing it into the juices in the pan.

The last step is to get your tortillas ready. Sadly, I didn’t have yellow corn tortillas, only white corn. Yellow would have been prettier.

You’ll toss them into a hot skillet or on a griddle for about a minute on each side, just to get a little color, you still need them to be bendy. I guess pliable would have been a better word, but bendy works.

Then you load ‘em up!

This was Mickey’s plate and he went back for seconds.

Because it’s just the two of us here there was enough left for lunch today. Yum! Here’s a link to the recipe: https://magnolia.com/street-taco-recipes/ This recipe looks involved, but it is NOT. There are a couple of steps but it’s all so easy. It comes together quickly for a pretty meal. I’m trying another recipe from the book tomorrow, if it’s as good as this one, I’ll share it here. That’s what’s happening at the Pullen spread. We’re counting the hours until Joe and Kamala take their oaths and we can be assured that adults are in charge again. I admit, I’ve been playing One Day More from Les Miserables this afternoon. I may have been shouting the “One day to a new beginning, raise the flag of freedom high!” part. Vive la résistance! Okay, different war, but I’m a little giddy today. Maybe I should just close with this...

youtube

As the song says, hold on for one more day, just hold on. Sending out SO MUCH LOVE. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO - Nancy

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neo-culture-taste · 5 years ago

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Abeilles au Printemps 7.5 🐝

Alternate Title: Bees in Spring

Summary: There was a fine line between business and pleasure that separated your professional and private life. A line you frequently crossed without ever once looking back. Especially when one particular client was waiting for you on the other side.

Genre: AU, romance, drama, comedy, smut

Pairing: Jaehyun x Y/N (fem)

Rating: Mostly mature themes/language. Sex (duh).

Word Count: 8600 (mah goodnis!)

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

A/N: THIS CAN BE READ AS A STAND ALONE LIKE A ONESHOT. YOU DON’T HAVE TO HAVE READ THE OTHER CHAPTERS. But you might as well because it’s a good read in my opinion, lol.

Likewise, this chapter can be skipped (kinda) since it is just some extra insight into Y/N’s relations with Jaehyun.

“How does your blue raspberry margarita taste, Y/N?” asked Johnny who, double dipped his tortilla chip into the cheese sauce. Swapping spit while making out was one thing, but double dipping in salsa was no bueno.

It was margarita Tuesday at the Mexican-styled restaurant down the street from your law firm's office building, where you regularly met with high profile clients in the entertainment industry to represent in court. You and your colleagues Johnny and Yuta had just won a really big, highly publicized case and celebrations were in order. It took many sleepless nights creating questions to cross examine witnesses and compiling old and new evidence to make an overall rock solid case so the jurors would rule in your favor. And so, because of your victory, most of your colleagues at the law firm made arrangements to celebrate at a karaoke bar, but the three of you actually ditched them in the event your night would take course towards something more...provocative.

Disgusted by your coworker's double dipping, you wrapped your lips around the straw in your margarita and took a big sip before wincing at the taste. Whoever made that drink went very heavy with the tequila. “This tastes just like you, Johnny." His hand stopped halfway to his mouth with another loaded chip and his eyebrows raised with intrigue. "Except it’s sweeter, less salty, and I actually want to feel it slide down my throat.”

Johnny smiled and let out a laugh through his nose as he shoved the chip into his mouth. But next to him, Yuta’s fork crashed loudly onto his plate as he abruptly dropped it from his hand and twisted his face in confusion. He was already a little buzzed from his two beers, but even if he wasn't he was still going to blurt out whatever the hell his brain wanted to say at the moment. “You told me that was off limits!”

Taking another long sip of your frozen drink, you took your time to answer him. “I did indeed tell you that. And you have Mr. Seo over here to thank for that," you said right when the waitress brought your entrees to the table.

“You could have spit it out,” said Johnny nonchalantly after the waitress placed his food down in front of him. He then immediately began cutting pieces of his enchilada.

“Your ego wouldn’t have liked that.”

“Alright enough,” said Yuta trying to bring back the peace. “I’m sorry I sparked that debate.”

“Don’t feel bad, Yuta. I probably wouldn’t have done that for you anyway.”

Yuta's lips pursed and his brows furrowed with obvious offense. “And why is that?”

“Because you’re not—" before you could answer you felt your phone vibrate in your lap. You turned it over, startled at the name that lit up your screen. You weren't expecting a call from a client at this time of the night, and you especially didn't expect this particular client to call you out of the blue. You felt your insides heat up as you set down your fork slowly, the scoop of rice that laid rest there falling to the side of the plate. As you continued to ignore Yuta’s pleas for you to finish what you were saying, you swiped left and answered the call.

“Well, well, well. To whom do I owe the pleasure of this phone call?”

You felt his laugh reverberate from the depths of his spine, go into your ears, and go down your own spine. “Hello to you, too, Y/N.” Damn you had missed that baritone voice of his. How long had it been since you had last spoken to him? You didn't make a habit of keeping in contact with your clients after hours, but he obviously was a very special case. He was allowed to get away with certain things.

“You’re being rude, Y/N,” said Johnny loudly across the table to be purposely annoying. “Get off the phone!”

“Are you busy?” your caller asked.

You shook your head like he was able to see you and mentally slapped yourself for doing it. You weren't sure if it was the butterflies he made in your stomach or if your margarita was starting to hit. “Nope. Just enjoying a nice meal with my coworkers.”

“Do you want me to call you back?”

“Yeah, that might be a good idea..." Your words began drifting off when your eyes followed both Yuta and Johnny rising from their seats.

“Y/N, we’re going to play pool since we're interrupting you,” Johnny said with a mock edge to his voice. You watched Yuta shove his last bits of his rice into his mouth before following Johnny toward the recreation area of the restaurant. You hadn't noticed how they had inhaled all of their food in that short amount of time.

Once they were out of earshot, you resumed your phone call. "Actually, I can talk for a bit. It's been awhile, Mr. Movie Star. Do you have someone new for me to sue on your behalf?"

He laughed. “Unfortunately no. And as much as I would love to see you defend me in a courtroom this is not that kind of call.”

You reached for your margarita taking another sip. “Then how can I help you, Jaehyun? By the way, what time is it where you are? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“It’s 6:30 PM where I am.”

You automatically glanced at your watch and noticed he was currently in the same time zone as you. “You’re home.” You pushed your fork around your plate and started building a mountain with your rice. Your mom always told you not to play with your food and you diligently listened to her, but Jaehyun made your system glitch, making you act weird.

“Precisely.”

“Filming was supposed to last you an entire year considering you were tapped to film three projects back to back. Has it been a year already?”

“Yes it has. Well almost. I actually just finished shooting the third film a month earlier than expected. The director liked the footage we had. Plus that’s what happens when you’re an awesome actor that doesn’t need to shoot several takes.” You could feel the effects of his oozing confidence without even being in his presence.

“Right,” you said and downed some more margarita, starting to feel the buzz.

“I sense you’re not too enthused about me being back early," he said. You were able to catch the small hint of disappointment in his voice.

“No, I am!" You assured him. "I just...wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon. I feel like I just became used to you being away.” You looked around briefly, making sure Johnny or Yuta wasn't around to hear you. “I still had another month to miss you.”

“So you did miss me?” The smile you heard in his voice was infectious, and your lips betrayed you as they curled upwards.

“Alright hanging up now!” you said flustered with actually no intention of hanging up. Jaehyun laughed and started to say something when you looked over to your friends. Well friends with benefits. Wait no, your coworkers. You saw Johnny place a wad of cash onto the pool table when an older gentleman did the same before grabbing his pool stick. You hoped Johnny knew what he was doing. He could never beat you at pool and you had never gotten around to teaching him how to properly play. The reason being was that everytime you won a game against him he would always throw you onto the pool table and start undressing you. What a waste.

“Y/N? Hello?”

“Oh, sorry. What were you saying, Jaehyun?”

“I asked if you would like to go on a date with me?” You would be lying if you said your heart didn't do a flip.

“A date? Like a date date?”

He laughed again. “Yes, Y/N!”

“Don’t you want to settle in first? When did you get back? I’m sure you have jet lag.”

“I’m fine. I just want to see you already. How about--“

He was cut off when Yuta suddenly came back to your table and asked you to dance before grabbing your arm. The alcohol on his breath was quite strong now, so he must have knocked back another beer while watching Johnny at the pool table.

“Y/N? Who was that?”

“No one important. An annoyance.” You swatted Yuta away and covered your phone's receiver with your hand. “There’s no music playing!” you harshly whispered at him.

“What?” asked Jaehyun when he suddenly couldn't hear you well.

“Not you," you briefly removed you hand and responded.

“I can make music," said Yuta. "Watch! Let me grab the fork and spoon--“

“Yuta, you’re drunk. Sit.” Holding your phone between your ear and your shoulder, you stood up and shoved him into your chair. “And don't move until I get back. Actually, sit here and make sure Johnny doesn’t lose any money!” You said loud enough for Johnny to hear you.

“Ha!” Johnny yelled sarcastically. You shook your head and grabbed your purse before heading outside.

"Y/N, hello? Are you there?” Jaehyun asked after not hearing you say anything as you walked out of the restaurant.

“I’m here. Sorry about that. I’m outside now. The fresh air feels good.”

“So I was interrupting something,” he said, confirming his earlier concerns.

“No, no, no. It's just a work thing.” Your body swayed to the side a bit and you had to right your balance. The margarita had now taken full affect. "We won a big case today. We’re celebrating. I have to do these things when certain people aren’t here to entertain me.”

“Are you talking about me?” You heard his lips curl up again and your own followed suit.

“Maybe,” you answered coyly. Technically you were talking about Jaehyun, but you actually had a boyfriend who was currently away on a business trip. You didn't miss him as much as you missed Jaehyun, though. You were pretty sure you were going to break up with him when he got back anyway, now especially since Jaehyun was back in the picture. And also because of the fact that you had already cheated on him with your coworkers turned fuck buddies as soon as he left.

"Well, like I was saying, I'm here now. How about I entertain you tomorrow?”

You leaned up against the wall next to the entrance of the restaurant and watched the busy street in front of you. “Entertain me how?”

“I had the pool renovated while I was gone. And I bought a fancy grill that I spotted overseas while filming. So I’m thinking that we could swim a little and then eat a lot, and then...you know. See where the evening takes us?” Your smile grew wider when you thought about the additional activity you already knew the two of you were going to do after your date.

“So you’re going to cook for me?”

“Don’t I always?”

You thought about it for a moment and realized that yes, he always did. He always made a fresh meal for you whenever you would visit his mansion. He would never let his chef do it either. It probably just slipped your mind since you hadn't seen him in so long. “Alright Jaehyun. It’s a date.”

“Don’t forget to bring your swimsuit.”

You chuckled and twirled a piece of your hair around your finger. “Why? It’s not going to be on me for very long.”

“You’re right about that,” he said without a second thought.

“Goodbye, Jaehyun.”

“See you tomorrow.”

You hung up the phone and ran your hands through your hair, processing the low key booty call you just arranged with your highest profile client. So much for keeping it professional. You threw that idea out of the window the first time you laid eyes on him. But of course you waited until he made the first move, and not without the help of some strategic flirtation of course.

Feeling a twinge of guilt you opened your messenger and texted your boyfriend who you hadn't spoken to for two nights. You didn't know why you still felt guilty considering you had already boned five other guys behind his back. You thought you had gotten over it after sleeping with the third guy, but you must have had residual guilt sitting in the corner of your conscience.

You: Hey. Just checking in. We won the trial. I hope your presentation went well. Talk tonight?

You hesitated before hitting send and paced back and forth for a bit as you saw the bubbles pop up indicating that he was typing back, but then your face fell immediately once his message came through.

My Love 💕: I’m busy today, sweetheart. I’ll call you when I can. Don’t wait up though. I miss you!

He was still making excuses to not talk to you while he was away. Sure, he hadn't been away for that long, but it would still be nice to hear his voice every once and awhile. Now a tad bit in your feelings, you began typing a new message.

You: How much do you miss me?

You sent your baited reply and waited for him to respond.

He didn’t.

And just like that, the small amount guilt you had left over was now completely wiped away. If he still wasn't going to give you the attention you wanted, you were going to continue to receive it from someone else.

After pulling up to the gate at the entrance of Jaehyun's home, you retrieved the access card form your glove compartment, having safely kept it there all the time he had been away. Once the gate opened you proceeded to drive before coming upon the large mansion and pulling into the circular driveway. After you had parked you took a deep breath then startled when you heard faint knuckles on your driver’s side window. You looked to your left and saw Jaehyn’s personal assistant standing outside of your car. You weren’t surprised he was there. He was always hanging around Jaehyun and doing his bidding. You couldn’t blame him for it because he got paid handsomely to do it.

“How’s it been Jeno? Long time no see.” You said flashing him a smile after you let your window down.

He leaned in to give you a cordial kiss on the cheek. “I’ve been doing just fine, Ms. Y/N. Mr. Jung actually just gave me the day off. He says he has dinner plans with a certain phenomenal woman. His words exactly." The young man smiled back at you, his eyes turning into crescents. "I wonder who that could be?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea," you said playing along. "But with a description like that, she must be really fantastic.” The both of you shared a chuckle then he continued to ask about how you were doing. “Can’t complain," you said. "Just busy working. We’ve been getting so many cases since I began representing Jaehyun.”

“Ahh. Referrals are the best, aren’t they?”

“Indeed they are.”

“Well, Mr. Jung is waiting for you inside the house," he said and opened the door to your car. "Leave your keys and I’ll park it in the garage for you.”

“I appreciate it, Jeno.”

He helped you out the driver's seat and assisted you with putting your overnight bag onto your shoulder. He then climbed into the driver's seat of your car and began pulling out of the circular driveway. You waved him goodbye then entered the spacious foyer of Jaehyun's home. Your senses were immediately ignited by the smell of what you knew would later be delicious barbecue. Allowing your feet to guide you to the origin of the aroma, you entered the immaculate and spacious kitchen and laid eyes upon your chef for the evening.

His back was faced towards you as he was still fiddling over the stove. He was shirtless with a pair of blue swim trunks and an apron, which you recognized to be the silly 'kiss the chef' apron you had gifted him some time ago when you were first preparing his case and the two of you spent long hours together.

After quietly placing your tote bag on one of the barstools. You were able to tiptoe next to him, thanks to the 90s RnB song playing from his Bluetooth speaker, and placed a quick kiss on his cheek. Startled, he turned towards you, eyes and shoulders relaxing when he registered who you were. “Y/N!" he said surprised and quickly set down the spoon he was using to stir whatever was in his pot. He turned off the stove before turning to you and engulfing you in a tight hug. "What was that for?”

“I’m a guest at your house," you said returning his hug. "It would be rude of me not to follow the rules.” You pulled away from him slightly then poked at the center of his apron, feeling the rock solid abs underneath and instantly wishing that stupid apron wasn't blocking your view.

He laughed and you felt your heart skip a beat when he smiled and looked into your eyes. “You bought me this.”

“I did. Wow. That seems like so long ago.” Your eyes shifted to his biceps, the curves of his muscles giving you an overwhelming urge to squeeze them. But you resisted, instead choosing to subtly rub your hands against them. It was too soon. You knew Jaehyun would have much rather to wine and dine you like he promised before either one of you let loose.

“Mhm,” was all he said as he could sense the rising tension between the two of you. It only took him one good look at you with your bikini top beneath your mesh cover up for himself to almost lose control. You weren't the only one holding back.

Deciding to seize the moment, Jaehyun gently grabbed your face and leaned in for a kiss. An instant sensation of warmth spread throughout your body when his soft lips gently pressed against yours. But the kiss was quickly stopped short when the sound of someone clearing their throat was heard a couple of feet behind you. The both of you turned to see who had cut in on your reunion and saw Jeno placing your cell phone onto the granite counter top of the kitchen island.

“Sorry to interrupt, but you left this in your car.”

“Thanks, Jeno.” You separated from Jaehyun and reached for your phone, immediately swiping away the multiple texts from your prior night's companions littering your screen.

“Everything okay?” asked Jaehyun seeing how concentrated you were with your phone.

“Yeah,” you lied. “A lawyer never sleeps it seems.”

“I get that,” he said before turning to Jeno. “Didn't I give you the day off? Why are you still working?" he joked with his assistant.

“I was just leaving, sir.” He nodded towards both you and Jaehyun with a smile before taking his exit. "Have a nice night!"

Once Jeno was out of the area, you felt Jaehyun’s hand caress your lower back. He poked his finger through your mesh cover up and tugged it towards him. You looked into his eyes you could see how he was restraining himself, and you wondered how long he was going to keep that up before he pinned you against something. “The food is ready," he began. "But, how about we take a dip in the pool first and work up our appetites?”

“Sounds good.”

After taking off his apron he grabbed your hand and led you towards the doors to his back patio. You first took notice of the new grill Jaehyun had mentioned when you walked outside before scanning the rest of the area. The pool water was as bright and blue as ever and the tiles that lined the pool's floor were still arranged to form the initials JJH. However, you noticed the style of the tiles were different from what you remembered during your previous visits, as well as the stones in the pavement around the pool among other things Jaehyun had altered during his renovations.

While you were busy admiring the changes to his back patio, Jaehyun abruptly jumped into the pool, splashing you with his cannonball and leaving you little time to properly react. “Hey! How about a warning next time,” you yelled half-serious.

“Sorry, not sorry," he said whipping his head back to get the wet hair away from his eyes. "Get in already!”

You laughed and rolled your eyes before purposefully taking your sweet ass time to tie up your hair and remove your cover up. You could feel Jaehyun's eyes staring intently while you deliberately inched your shorts down over your legs, his gaze roaming every inch of your exposed skin. Your bikini set was a deep red and consisted of a spaghetti strapped bralette top that tied in the back with an additional elastic strap underneath the cups, showing off a tasteful bit of underboob. Your bottoms were high legged and showed a considerable amount of your cheeks, also with a matching elastic strap on the waistband. You wanted to see him try to keep up that self control act of his now.

You slowly descended into the water using the beautifully tiled steps leading into the shallow end of the pool. “Woo! This is cold," you squealed and immediately began to shiver.

“Go under one time you’ll be alright.”

“Now, Jaehyun. You know I don’t like to get my hair wet. Besides, I just had a hair appointment the other day.” It was his turn to roll his eyes and he sent a small splash of water your way. “Jaehyun!”

“Sorry!” He laughed and proceeded to glide towards you in the water, not stopping until you were backed against the pool's wall. “Are you warm now?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, causing you to laugh and splash water at him.

“Hey! That’s not fair! You can't splash me if I'm not allowed to do it to you.”

“Too bad,” you said then stuck out your tongue between your teeth.

With his hands held onto the pool's ledge, he trapped you against the wall and the two of you took a short moment to stare at each other's wet forms, and the broad frame of his shoulders enticed you into wrapping your arms around them.

“So...how has work been while I was gone?" he asked you. "New clients? New cases? New colleagues? New anything?” Subtle: It was one thing Jaehyun was not.

“New clients and cases, yes. New colleagues?” You thought about anyone new at the office, mentally scanning your work floor while you played with the wet hair at the nape of his neck. No one stood out...oh! “Yes, a new accountant, actually. He is part time between our office and his own accounting firm. He’s nice.” Oh, he was nice alright. He was actually an ex-boyfriend of yours you had the opportunity of reconnecting with to remind you of what exactly you were missing in your relationship with your current boyfriend. How you forgot about someone you literally slept with like a week ago was beyond you. Maybe it was because it almost felt like a dream to be having sex with him again.

“What about you? How were your co-stars? The crew?” you asked him, switching the subject of your conversation.

“Everyone was cool. Director, too.”

"Are you sure I don't need to sue anyone? Nobody overstepped their boundaries or looked at you funny? You know I can turn anything into a case."

He chuckled, droplets of water falling from his chin. "Do you ever stop working? Nobody looked at me funny. Everyone was great."

"Whatever you say, pretty boy."

“So…have you been seeing anyone?” He asked almost embarrassingly after a brief moment of silence, looking away from you when the question left his lips. You smiled to yourself as you watched his ears turn red. Was he actually that nervous to find out that you weren't single? How cute.

You weren't together with Jaehyun, obviously. So it wasn't odd for him to bring this up whenever he saw you. However, you wouldn't describe your relationship with him as friends with benefits like you did with your two coworkers. You viewed what you had with Jaehyun as more of a romantic affair of intimacy. And besides, he couldn't be your official boyfriend right now--not that you wanted him to be anyway. You we're too busy dating some other guy who was doing a very poor job at giving you what you needed.

“Nope. Well not anything serious.” Liar, liar, liar. “For the most part I’ve been appreciating my singleness. More me time.” It was sort of the truth. You were appreciating being single without actually having broken up with your boyfriend yet, and you definitely had plenty of 'me time' since he didn’t touch you in any sexual way at all. “What about you? Any secrets from the set I need to keep confidential?”

Jaehyun simply shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe I hooked up with a fellow costar.”

He did? That was a bit surprising considering the night you spent together before the two of you parted for him to go film. You would have thought he would behave himself and wait until he was able to be back with you. But you understood. You took care of your own needs and he took care of his. The two of you were far from exclusive.

“Oh, really? How scandalous.” As if what you were doing with him in that moment wasn't deplorable already.

“But I didn’t cross third base,” he added. You weren't quite sure if you were relieved for him having self control or disappointed in him for not taking a chance and going all the way."

“Oh, boo! You're so lame--OW!” He pinched you on the underside of your arm in retaliation to your teasing, causing you to remove your arms from him shoulders and rub the newly sore spot. "I'm just saying. You might have missed out on something that could have been really special."

"I already was missing out since I wasn't here with you."

"Oh my gosh, stop," you said looking away from him as you tried to thwart the blush creeping its way onto your cheeks. "I will throw up in this pool."

He laughed at you once again and moved his body closer towards you. “So really? No one serious?” he asked as he removed his hands from the pool's edge and placed them on either side of your waist.

Your hands automatically went to his chest, feeling the taut muscles of his pecs against your wet palms. “No. I mean, there was one potential guy, a healthcare provider. But he didn’t hold my interests too much." You slid your hands across his pecs and down to those abs you had been wanting to get your hands on since you first saw him in that stupid apron. You gazed up at him with parted lips and sultry look in your eyes while you told him another half truth. "I haven’t...really been touched in a long while, either. Not since you left.”

“Oh, boo.” He mocked you with a smirk, purposely ruining the mood you were trying to create. You made to splash him when he tightened his hold on your waist and pressed himself flush against you. “Can we finish that kiss from earlier now?” So you were going to get your dessert before dinner after all? You knew he wouldn't have been able to last too much longer.

"Took you long enough." You grabbed the sides of his head and brought him down to meet your lips. His kisses tasted initially of chlorine but was soon washed out by the sweet taste of peppermint candy. He always tasted like peppermint, it being his preferred method to freshen his breath, and you loved the way the cooling sensation of his tongue tingled against your own. You wanted to kiss him right there in the pool all evening long and not stop until you both shriveled up into raisins. But your stomach had to rudely remind you of your original plans, and growled loudly between your pressed bodies, causing the both of you start laughing and separate.

He led you out of the pool and handed you a fluffy white robe before putting one on himself, then led you to the dining room. The table was already pre-set, most likely by Jeno before he went home. Jaehyun left you for a moment to retrieve the food from the kitchen. He brought everything on a rolling cart and arranged everything out in front of you. Once he was done listing off the various dishes he prepared, he sat in the chair across from you and told you to dig in. The food was over all very tasty. Jaehyun was actually quite skilled in the kitchen and you hoped it was a hobby he would continue doing well into the future.

“Are you ready for dessert?" he asked you once you were done eating. "I baked your favorite, chocolate chip cookies.”

You huffed as you sat back in your seat and rubbed your full stomach. “Can I shower first before you watch me devour a whole batch of cookies?” It would also give your stomach some time to make more room for said cookies.

“Sure.” He got up from his seat and walked around the table to take your hand once more. He led you to the second floor and into his master bathroom before letting go of your hand and turning on the faucet of his standing shower. You watched him turn his hand beneath the water, feeling for the right temperature and adjusting the knob accordingly. "Okay, it's ready," he said when he felt the water was the perfect balance between mostly hot and cold. "Just yell if you need anything." He made to leave but you quickly grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“You aren’t going to shower with me?” you asked him with a big and bold smile on your face.

“I can.”

You untied your robe and turned around for him to unstring your bikini top. You peeled the wet garment from your front and let it fall the rest of the way down to the floor, exposing your breasts to the cold air of his bathroom. Jaehyun took a step back to first appreciate the sight of your bare back then looked up into the bathroom mirror to admire the sight of your bare chest.

You caught his eyes in the mirror and bit your lip seductively as you hooked your thumbs into the sides of your bottoms. “Are you wearing the robe into the shower?” You slid your bottoms the rest of the way down your legs and kicked them to the side with your foot before sashaying your way into the shower.

“Sorry, sorry," he apologized with a dopey smile and quickly removed his robe and swim trunks, wasting no time following behind you. “Oh, wait!" But once he was inside with you, he suddenly jumped back out and jumped back in about ten seconds later. "Here’s a shower cap.”

You smiled taking the plastic cap from him and put it on unashamed. You had already looked like a granny in front of him plenty of times. “Thank you.”

The shower you shared was surprisingly tame. Overwhelmingly domestic in the sense that there was no funny business going on. Jaehyun assisted you with washing your back and you did the same for him while he washed the chlorine from his hair. You really liked doing these types of simple things and wished your boyfriend would take a hint and stop depriving you of experiences like this already. But that dude was dense. You had given him so many hints before, with each one of them going right over his head. You found it hard to believe you actually put up with that guy and not having sex with him or anyone else for a year and a half.

Jaehyun stood underneath the direct stream of water to rinse the conditioner from his hair, and you followed the flow of water down from his head, over his body, and into the shower drain. Looking at him, you found yourself wondering what could have been if you hadn't made certain decisions or what could be if you were to make others. And if any of them were the right choices to make. If letting yourself completely fall in love with Jaehyun was the right choice to make.

“I missed this," you blurted when he emerged from beneath the stream. You hadn't intended to say it out loud, but you had momentarily lost yourself in the comfort of it all.

Jaehyun stepped from underneath the shower head and wiped the water from his face. "Yeah," was all he said to you in response and you could tell with the way that he had locked eyes with you that he was almost at his breaking point. With seeing how weak he was for you now, you wanted to tease him a little more to see how far you could stretch him out until he could no longer think straight.

"I'm ready for those cookies now," you suddenly declared and hopped out of the shower. You grabbed one of the towels he had stacked neatly on a shelf and wrapped it around yourself before taking off the shower cap and going into the adjacent walk in closet.

Jaehyun was close behind you with a towel around his waist and another draped on top of his head. As you dried off the rest of your body, he rummaged through one of the drawers, took out one of his T-shirts, and then handed it to you to put on. You discarded your towel on the floor then took the shirt from him and slipped it over your head. The shirt was large enough to where it was pretty much a dress on you and you didn't particularly need to wear any bottoms, but being the gentleman that he was, he figured you would be too cold without a pair of his boxers to wear. You put them on then exited the bathroom and entered his bedroom, then sat down on the foot of his bed and waited for him to finish getting dressed.

It took him quite a bit of time before he came out. You assumed he was attempting to dry his hair as best as he could with the towel without having to use a hairdryer. When he returned to the room he stopped in his tracks at the sight of you spread out on his bed in his clothing, you having laid down while he was taking forever with his hair. You lifted your head up when you heard him walk in and sat up the rest of the way when you realized he wasn't moving--and also still wearing the towel around his waist. "What are you doing over there? Let's go get the cookies," you said and snapped him out of his daze. You knew why he was standing there staring at you. And you intentionally gave him a little bit more to drool over when you pretended to stretch by arching your back and holding your head back, presenting your neck to him.

"Oh sorry," he began as he walked toward you. "I was just thinking about how sexy you look in my T-shirt." He went to stand between your legs that hung off the side of his high mattress then slid his hands up your thighs, pushing his fingers beneath the fabric of the boxers to squeeze your hips. Your arms automatically wrapped themselves around his neck and he rested his forehead against your own. "The T-shirt I should have never given you in the first place."

"Yeah, you're an idiot."

He closed the distance between your lips with a hungry fervor before grabbing you by your torso and hauling you up towards the headboard. He threw off the towel around his waist and then the decorative pillows on the bed in his way before he gently rested your back down against one of the soft ones he used for sleeping.

"I've been waiting all day for you to fuck me," you had said as you tangled your fingers into his damp hair. But there was a delayed reaction to your comment from him as his face was buried in the side of your neck, frantically peppering kisses and nipping at your skin in his quest to find the spot that drove you crazy.

“All you had to do was ask, Y/N. Lift up your arms.” You did as you were told and Jaehyun quickly pulled his T-shirt off you before returning his mouth to your neck.

“I didn’t want to make it seem like--" Your sentence was cut off by the moan that escaped your throat, Jaehyun having found the spot on your neck right above your clavicle. Your grip in his hair tightened and your back arched slightly from the arousing sensation of his tongue against your throat. He was sucking a tad bit hard, desperate to fill up on the taste of you he had been without for all this time. He was definitely going to leave a mark--he was trying to. You were going to have to hide it as best as you could once you left his company. But you weren't worried about that. You were a pro at hiding hickeys, a prior hookup with a rivaling attorney recently having made you get creative with your blending. It was just mildly annoying to have to do an additional step with your makeup.

Jaehyun's hands slid over your body, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. One hand found its way to one of your breasts and squeezed it in his large palm, sending another ripple of heat throughout your chest. He toyed with the nipple between his fingers, pinching and tugging until you could no longer stay still within the hold he had on your upper body. He resurfaced from your neck and returned to kissing your lips, this time more gently and softer in comparison to the first.

He sat up on his knees before hooking his fingers in his boxers you wore, slowly sliding them off you. His gaze locked with yours as he did so, him staring you in your eyes with intense and lustful desire. He slipped the shorts from your ankles and discarded them on the floor then crawled back to the space between your legs. Slowly bending down in front of you, he began to ghost slow, delicate kisses between your thighs, making you ache with every touch of his breath against your skin. At the same time he began to stroke his hardening shaft with his free hand and your eyes momentarily unlocked with his to watch him prepare himself for you. You bit your lip at the sight and you could hear your heart pounding frantically in your ears. Your patience was wearing thin and all you wanted to do was just feel him inside you already. So as he was slowly creeping his lips towards the pooling heat in your center, you stopped him short.

“Jaehyun. We can do that later.” You were breathless from anticipation by just thinking about being filled to the brim with him. “Please just give it to me right now.” You hated begging but you were horny as fuck and he was driving you insane.

He smirked up at you, dick at full attention now, and ceased his actions before moving his lips back up to yours, placing kisses up your body along the way. He seized your lips in another passionate kiss before he rolled onto his back next to you. He held your gaze while he moved his hand down your pelvis and slid two fingers between your wet folds. You gasped at his touch and opened your legs wider for him to enter you fully. His fingers went as deep as they could go before curling inside you and rubbing against your walls, sending a shockwave up your body and causing you to arch your back while you moaned against his ear.

“Are you still on birth--?”

“Yes, Jaehyun,” you said over him so he would focus on what he was doing with his fingers. “Mmm hmm. Right there," you breathed. "Stay right there.”

He kissed your cheek then your chin as you tilted your neck back on your pillow, allowing him easy access to kiss it once more. He bit the skin on your throat then sped up the movement of his hand between your legs, hitting your spot over and over until you were struggling to keep your hips from bucking against him. It didn’t take much longer for Jaehyun to get you to reach your high, and he massaged it out for you as you came down before withdrawing his hand.

You rested your head on his shoulder and cupped his cheek with one hand. “You know I’m going to need more than that, right?” You greedily asked him and pressed your body flush against his.

He chuckled as he grabbed both your hands and intertwined his fingers with yours, then pulled you up off the mattress with him and guided you to straddle his lap. He let go then gripped your thighs with each of his hands before tenderly kneading them in his palms. “Then take however much you need. I’m all yours.”

You watched him rest his back against his headboard then your eyes moved down to see his swollen manhood angrily resting against his pelvis, perfectly in line with the happy trail leading to his belly button. He was giving you full reign to be the commander of his dick and use him however you pleased.

You took him in both of your hands and gently rubbed him from hilt to tip, watching his reaction. He did some squirming beneath you, trying his best not to melt too soon by the feeling and sight of your hands around him. You heard his breath hitch in anticipation as he watched you slowly descend your mouth towards his shaft, but then you psyched him out with a simple kiss to its tip. You stood by your choice in not giving out free blow jobs. Not even Mr. Million Dollar Movie Star Dick could change your mind on that.

“You’re such a tease,” Jaehyun said with a hard squeeze to your thighs.

“Hush, now. I’ve come to collect what’s mine.” You moved to kiss him and then lifted yourself to align him at your entrance. You sank down onto him slowly, the both of you gasping and sighing in pleasure at the feeling of his length stretching your walls.

“Fuck,” Jaehyun cursed as you moved to adjust yourself on top of him. “I forgot you felt this good,” he moaned as you circled your hips against him. “No wonder I couldn’t bring myself to do this with anyone else this past year.”

Loving the boost to your ego, you sat up straight on your knees and braced your hands against his hips, using them to help you ride him. You threw your head back and closed your eyes, focusing on the sounds of your sexes colliding. Jaehyun kept his eyes centered on where the two of you connected, loving the way his dick looked as it was being swallowed inside your body. You took your time not wanting to finish too early, wanting to indulge in every ounce of pleasure you could get from him. Sure the two of you would do this many more times the remainder of the evening and well into the night, but this first round was different from the others. It was special. It was two bodies reconnecting after being separated for so, so long.

You lifted your head forward and looked down at Jaehyun. You felt the continual rise in your body temperature as you locked eyes with him once again, his focus having changed from your center to gazing directly at your face. “You’re so beautiful right now, Y/N.”

Your insides turned to mush at his words and you whispered out his name as you felt your thighs starting to burn from your quickened pace. “Come here and kiss me, pretty boy.” You reached for his hands and he obliged as you pulled him straight up and placed his hands on your breasts. As he kissed you he kneaded, squeezed, and rolled your nipples in his hands, the triple combination sending your mind into a frenzy.

He abruptly bucked into you, causing you to cry out in pleasure and momentarily lose the rhythm you had going against him. He continued to thrust into you hard and fast and you felt yourself losing control as you neared your second orgasm.

“I’m close--“

“Then keep going, baby.”

Your tongues continued to battle one another as he gripped your ass, helping you grind just a little bit harder. Your thighs were about ready to give out when Jaehyun moved one hand to your front and gently pressed against your sensitive, setting the rest of your senses off and sending you tumbling over the edge. With a loud moan into his mouth you gripped onto his shoulders and dug your nails into his skin, but before you could completely come down from your high, Jaehyun flipped you over onto your back against his pillows again.

“Hold on babe. The ride isn't over yet.” He grabbed both your hands and put them over your head, and you didn’t have time to catch your breath before he quickly began rutting into you over and over again. The relentless thrusts were deep and hitting your spot every time, quickly building you to your third orgasm. Fuck, Jaehyun. He knew your body so well. He knew exactly what to do in order to get the responses the both of you wanted.

“Almost there, Y/N?” he asked you, his face in the crook of your neck. “Cause...uh, fuck. I…babe, you feel so good.”

“Don’t stop,” you managed to say between gasps. “Please, baby don’t stop.”

“Never.” His pace started becoming erratic signaling he was close to becoming undone. He released your arms to grip the bed sheets on either side of your body, and you grabbed his face and lifted it to plant haphazard kisses along his jaw.

“Give it to me, Jaehyun,” you whispered in his ear. “I want all of it. All of you.”

He groaned loudly at your words before he gave you one last hard thrust, sending the both of you to your highest peaks. His body stilled above you as his orgasm rippled through his body and yours shook beneath him as a wave of euphoria washed over you. He tried not to collapse against you but he couldn’t bear the weight of his body any longer and fell halfway against your body and the mattress. Your chests rose and fell as you both tried to catch your breaths and you smiled at one another once his head landed on the pillow next to yours. You kissed him softly on his forehead, then on his nose, and lastly on his lips for a few seconds before he lifted his head away and propped it up with his arm.

“How about those cookies now?” he asked you still a bit out of breath. You simply smiled and nodded before he pressed another kiss to your lips and removed himself from inside you, the both of you sucking in a breath as he did so.

Jaehyun grabbed the boxers you had worn off the floor and put them on before heading downstairs to the kitchen to retrieve tray of cookies he had baked for dessert. When he returned you were already sitting up in his bed clothed in his oversized t-shirt once more.

He turned on his television and searched for something the two of you could watch while you snacked. He settled on something random that would just be for background noise while you talked anyway. However, you found yourself being interested in the show and quickly lost track of what you and Jaehyun had started talking about, and of how many cookies you had already shoved into your face.

Jaehyun watched you in silence as you grabbed another cookie, staring at the way the crumbs stuck to your lips when you took a bite. He poked your leg to get your attention and you hummed in acknowledgment. “You said you were still on birth control, right?”

You rolled your eyes and turned to him with your mouth full. “Yes, Jae. You don’t have anything to worry about.” You took a second to swallow what was in your mouth. "I can't even fathom having a kid right now.

“I know, I know. But…” He hesitated and grabbed another cookie for himself. “I think you and I would make beautiful babies together.”

“Oh, really?” Where was this coming from? Was he sitting there thinking about how he came inside of you this whole time?

“Yeah. Plus we already excel at the baby making part.”

“Mhm.” You bit into your cookie unsure if you wanted to open this can of worms with him right now. "Don’t say things you don’t mean Jaehyun."

“You know me, Y/N. I never say things I don’t mean.”

The can of worms you were referring to was the matter of him having fallen in love with you, of course. He was the perfect guy and everything anyone could ever dream of. He had money, fame, stability. But you you were afraid of him giving it all to you. You were afraid of what would happen to you once you had it and you were worried about having to deal with the stress of always being in the spotlight as a famous man's partner. You highly valued your privacy, you having kept information about yourself from even your own family members. But maybe if you stopped overthinking all the time, let your guard down a little, and let yourself be completely swept away by him, then you could probably get through the annoying paparazzi shit and maybe he could actually give you that happily ever after you had been trying to find for a while.

Tearing you away from your thoughts, you heard an alert coming from Jaehyun’s phone on the chair sitting on the other side of the room. He got up to retrieve it and frowned when he looked at the notification on his lockscreen.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, munching on another cookie.

“Yeah. It’s someone from one of the studios trying to get a hold of me. I’ll be right back.”

He went back to you to kiss your forehead then proceeded to the hallway, closing the door behind him. He unlocked his phone and noticed several additional notifications from his personal assistant.

Jeno: Check your email. You should have an attachment entitled Y/N. I will be continuously updating it with newly acquired information. We were lucky that she left her phone in the car. Makes my work a tad bit easier.

Jaehyun: I told you to take the day off.

Jeno: Well then I expect to be properly compensated for my overtime.

Jaehyun: Goodbye, Jeno.

Jeno: Goodbye, sir. Oh, and one more thing. You only have a little over a month left before the boyfriend returns from his scandalous vacation.

Jaehyun: GOODBYE, JENO.

For other chapters, see the masterlist.

- C&D

#nct #nct 127 #nct smut #jaehyun smut #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #nct 127 smut #nct u #nct u smut #nct imagines #johnny smut #taeyong smut #bees in spring #abeilles au printemps #nct scenarios #nct fic #jaehyun fic

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sirfrogsworth · 5 years ago

Text

Thank Yous

This is going to be a long post where I thank people. It’s kind of like movie credits. Personally, I like watching them. But others really need to pee and bolt out of their seat. So you can read all of this or scroll by.

I’ll tell you what, I’ll add pictures of puppy Otis getting closer and closer as the post goes on. So either way, you’ll get to see a cute puppy running toward you.

First, I want to give a big thanks to Carolyn. She sent me a quesadilla maker. Quesadillas are the only thing I feel like I technically “cook.” As in, I assemble it from ingredients and it ends up as a cohesive thing that I think most people would go, “Hey, not bad!” Almost all of my other food is just “stick in oven/microwave” and press a few buttons.

The quesadilla maker is great. I have never been able to get my tortillas so crispy on both sides. Definitely the best quesadillas I’ve ever made. I’m basically a chef with this thing. The only hitch is that some of the ingredients kept escaping out the sides. I’ve tried a few things to prevent this, but I think it’s just how it be. It’s easy to clean, so I think it’s worth the tasty treats it produces.

The maker is also very cute. It has a pepper as a handle!

Look at how crispy it got!

Does this picture of it hanging over the edge of the counter cause anyone anxiety?

Sorry about that.

I tried taking photos of Otis while the quesadilla was cooking but I couldn’t get him to stand still. He was all, “Hey, is that the camera? Imma put my nose on the lens!”

I’d also like to thank Cassandra. She basically helped provide the last items we needed to finish our “cord cutting” adventure. All of our TVs are now set up with the new system. It’s actually a huge relief to have the project all finished now. So I very much appreciate her helping me get that sense of accomplishment. Little victories like that help me feel like I am moving forward.

Next project... upgrade our WiFi!

Which I am very much looking forward to! So much. Sooooo much. I just LOVE setting up networks! DO YOU BELIEVE MEEEE??

I am convinced routers run on dark magic. Next to printers, setting up a network is the one technical challenge that never seems to work like it is supposed to. And the troubleshooting solutions are usually odd and nonsensical.

“If you put the router upside down on top of this John Grisham book, then face this antenna south and this antenna north--the signal covers every part of the house except one corner of the garage.

Now, you might think the elevation is what allowed this to happen, but I’m pretty sure it was this specific John Grisham book. This Dean Koontz book is the exact same thickness, but when I used that... the WiFi only worked in the neighbor’s bathroom. Perhaps the universe is telling me Koontz belongs in the toilet.”

--Excerpt from “Adventures in WiFi” by The Frogman

MOAR THANK YOUS

Otis got some teeth-cleaning treats from Toasty. He loves those things. I wonder if he knew they were good for him if he’d feel different. He does the “treat dance” with them too. This is where he will flip the treat with his nose into the air and then hop up and down before chewing. It’s a strange ritual, but awfully cute.

The dancing looks like this--only indoors.

Toasty also got me some new shorts. I wear the same thing every day for ease and comfort. But since I wear these shorts so often the elastic gets worn out after a year or so. So a new supply of shorts is a big help.

Someone also got me some new shirts, but since they weren’t sold by Amazon directly I am not sure who it was. In any case, I now have 10 new shirts that should last me a year or two. My old ones were getting stretched out and sad so that was perfect timing. You can see me wearing one in this photo here.

And I also got a network switch! Which is super exciting. I can plug in more things now!

Pro-tip: Use a wired ethernet connection whenever possible because WiFi is the devil!

I am also not sure who got me that. I’m sorry I’m a bit disorganized.

Kristina, Benjamin, and Karin helped with the nugget fund. Can’t forget them!

I’d also like to do a super-duper-extra-mega thank you to @helmsdeepwa @eenymeenypia and Angela. I can’t tell you how amazing these folks are. They have not only had my back for years, but they are truly some of the most genuine and kind people I’ve encountered on these here internets. My gratitude for their existence is not quantifiable.

A big internet hug to everyone! I want you all to get real close to your screen and wrap your arms around it. Or if you are on a mobile device... umm... let’s do that European cheek kiss thing, eh?

I know I missed some thank yous. I really need to keep better track. Things have just been a mess and it legit took me like a month to finish this post. However, if you sent along some help and I missed it, please don’t be humble. Let me know so I can properly thank you next time. I’ll keep a list and put it in a spreadsheet and do it all professional-like.

I know I say this every time but... I can’t tell you folks how much your support and generosity has helped me and my family. Otis has treats. My parents have cool stuff to watch to pass the time. I have clothing that doesn’t make me look disheveled and unkempt.

Sometimes even the littlest things add up to a big help.

I’m hoping I can repay my followers soon with some cool new content. I am soooo close to being able to share what is coming. Chris needs to get through Comic-Con and then we can put the finishing touches on the big Patreon reboot.

I CAN say we are shooting for 3 comics per month. THREEEEE! They are going to be super cute and super funny and I haven’t been this creatively excited in a while. I had been so depressed that I couldn’t make content like I used to. But I think I finally figured out a solution that works with my new energy norms.

Anywho...

If you want to help out, you can check out my Amazon Wishlist. I have it sorted by priority.

Or if you would rather contribute to the nugget fund, you can click here.

Thanks!

Again!

#long post

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pastelwitchling · 6 years ago

Text

Malex Apollo and Artemis fanfic Chapter 1 (demigod au)

“What’s taking so long?” Alex muttered, pulling back the dark curtain. The black, bare trees stared back at him as if telling him to be patient. He huffed, and turned away from the window.

He leaned against the wall, his arms crossed as he tried to focus on any incoming footsteps, any wings flapping, any animals distressed at a figure’s sudden appearance, but the consistent tap tap tap of drumsticks echoed in his head, forbidding him from hearing much else.

He clenched his jaw, and looked up at Michael who was lying carelessly on the sofa, his curls splayed against the cushion, the gold a stark contrast to the blood-red. Alex realized he was staring and looked away, wringing his hands together.

“Stop,” he said, but either Michael didn’t hear him or was ignoring him because he resumed tapping his drumsticks together, making a beat Alex was sure was meant to be far less annoying than it actually was.

Alex sighed and moved to the opposite side of the cabin, planting himself in an armchair. He leaned forward on his elbows, his face in his hands. He tapped his foot, muttering the week’s grocery list to himself in an effort to calm his thoughts. It didn’t work, the sound of the drumsticks getting louder, and louder, and louder –

“Knock it off!” he snapped, and Michael flinched, dropping his instruments. He sighed, and made to reach them, but Alex pointed a warning finger at him. “Don’t you dare.”

“You don’t like my music?”

“No,” Alex said. “I don’t. It sucks.”

Michael frowned. “You never told me that.”

“Yeah, well, I’m telling you now.”

He exhaled a shaky breath, rubbing his face, and when he looked back up, he saw Michael watching him, his voice lined with concern.

“Hey,” he said, “you okay?”

“I don’t like this summons. Something doesn’t feel right.”

Michael’s brows furrowed. “How can you tell? This is the first one we’ve gotten in, like, a decade.”

“That’s why it doesn’t feel right,” Alex sighed. “Have you tried to get in touch with your dad at all?”

“What, since we got the message?” He shrugged a shoulder. “No, why?”

“I can’t get in touch with my mom.”

Michael pursed his lips. “That’s not shocking, Alex. They’re busy, they don’t always respond.”

“Not even after a summons?” Alex ran a hand through his already windswept hair. “Do you remember the last time it happened?”

Michael stared at Alex, then settled more comfortably against his cushion, and Alex did not fail to notice the soft smile at his lips. “How could I forget that night?”

Alex blinked, and realized what Michael was talking about. He cleared his throat, silently cursing the heat rising in his neck. “I meant why we were summoned, Guerin. Demeter had gone missing? Olympus-wide panic? Ringing any bells?”

“She came back though.”

Alex stared. “Are you kidding me?”

“Alex, relax. They’re gods, remember?” Michael said. “They can take care of themselves.”

“Relax, he says,” he muttered, then, “two children of Artemis and Apollo –”

“— technically, it’s Apollo and Artemis, since I’m pretty sure my dad’s older –"

“—Artemis and Apollo have been called to meet here. Just us, Michael. When does any gathering of born warriors mean a tortilla party? And why haven’t the others been summoned, too, like last time? What about Maria, a-and Liz, and Kyle? Why not Apollo’s other children?”

Michael’s dark green eyes bore into his, and while Alex’s heart had once melted at those golden specks that seemed to shine brightest when they were on him, it twisted painfully in his chest now to see no sense of worry or anger among them.

“Alex, I can hear your heart hammering from here,” Michael said calmly.

“I’m the only one freaking out. Fantastic.”

“Shouldn’t you feel better then? Look at me, I’m not worried.”

“You’re never worried.”

Michael’s smile turned small as he stared at Alex, and in a soft voice that Alex knew for a fact he did not use often, he said, “You used to think that was a good thing. It used to comfort you.”

Alex looked up at him. “And now I know better.”

His smile faltered, and he looked away, reaching for his drumsticks, gripping the edges.

Alex tinkered with the crescent moon charm bracelet on his wrist. It felt heavier somehow, as if taking on the weight of his chest, desperate to warn Alex that something was seriously wrong.

“It can’t be that serious,” Michael said in his usual lighthearted tone, and Alex decided to believe him instead of reading into the way he cleared his throat before he spoke, or the way he looked at Alex’s bracelet instead of meeting his eyes, or the way his fingers tapped against his drumsticks.

“After all, you’re kind of supposed to be Artemis’s only child, right? Maybe they just wanted to keep it even.”

“Can you please, please just stop talking?”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“It’s not working. Just no noise, for a second, I’m begging you.”

“Noise now? I thought you loved the sound of my voice.”

“Zeus Almighty,” a tall man groaned in a high-pitched voice as he walked in. He wore brown leather armor, his thin neck and wrists wrapped in gold, and on his helmet was a hawk, broader than its owner, its eyes staring intently at Alex. “Do you two always argue this much?”

“Yes,” Alex said at the same time that Michael defended, “We’re not arguing.”

Alex narrowed his eyes as the man trudged inside. Something about him seemed familiar.

“Who are you?” he asked, but the man ignored him.

He waved Michael off the sofa, and took his place while Michael took the chair furthest away from Alex. “Lovers to friends transition didn’t quite work out, huh?” he said, stretching his arms over his head, his hawk perching itself on the nightstand. The stranger tilted his helmet back, narrowing a beady eye at the men, and said, “You two are, what, nineteen?”

“Twenty-seven, actually,” Michael said, then as an afterthought, added, “sir.”

He snorted. “Oh, you’re those two. Michael Guerin and Alexander.” He tilted his head. “I thought the names on the assignment sounded familiar. Yeah, I see it now. You look just like your parents when they first delivered you to earth.”

Michael’s expression softened while Alex’s eyes narrowed. “How do you know our parents?”

“Oh, come on, Alexander,” he sat up abruptly and whined. “You’re killing the ego here.”

Alex glanced at Michael who looked at him with a shrug that said, If you can’t figure it out…

He thought hard about what his mother had told him of the creatures of the woods, tracing back every being to ever associate with hawks. Then, he caught it, the golden wings engraved on each side of the man’s helmet.

Alex stood. This was no creature of the woods. “You’re Hermes. God of messengers.”

“And thieves,” Hermes said with a flourish of his hand as Michael instantly went to his feet, “and mischief, trickery, roads, commerce – which, let me tell you, is not what it once was.”

“Why are you here?” Alex asked, while Michael subtly moved to Alex’s side, his eyes wary on the god. “You’re the god of messengers, what business could you possibly have with us?”

“Um, Alex,” Michael tried, “maybe you shouldn’t –”

“We already got the summons, we’re here, isn’t your job kinda over?”

Hermes stared, then, “You know, you look just like your mother. Same dark hair and eyes, same formal stance, same stupid derogatory tone, like you just know you’re better than everybody –”

“I’m not trying to be derogatory,” Alex said, though he refused to change his tone, “I’m trying to find out why we were summoned to a cabin in the middle of nowhere.”

“Is this about the commute? Because after this whole thing is over, I can have you both back in Brooklyn before you can say, ‘Where are my sheep?’” Hermes laughed, wiping a fake tear, and when Alex and Michael didn’t laugh along, he heaved an exaggerated sigh and sat up. “Look, my job was making sure that you two got here, and guiding you back. Until then, you’re stuck with me, miracle birth.”

Alex glared, and Hermes rolled his eyes. “Oh, don’t give me that look. I get it enough from your mother, and I’m going to tell you what I tell her. Enjoy yourself and stop worrying. See, look, you’ve got your boyfriend –”

“—he’s not my boyfriend –”

“—and this entire place to yourselves! It’s so warm and cozy –”

“It’s stuffy and reeks of squirrel feces.”

Hermes blinked at him, then looked to Michael and asked, “Is he always like this?”

“He’s just worried about his mom,” Michael said and tugged on Alex’s arm, pulling him to his side, his warm skin against Alex’s cold soothing him in a way he didn’t want to confess was working.

As Alex and Michael moved to the corner, Hermes raised a brow at Michael. “And you’re not worried about your dad?”

Michael pressed his lips together. “He’s in danger all the time,” was all he said, as if that was supposed to be enough of an explanation.

Hermes certainly took it that way as he nodded, his lips pursed, “Touché,” and turned to say something to his hawk who was still staring at Alex.

Alex felt Michael’s fingers tighten on his arm, and he was able to look away from the bird to find that Michael had leaned in.

Startled, Alex tried to step back, but Michael’s hand went to his waist and kept him close, his voice low. “You need to calm down. I get you’re frustrated, but pissing off a god isn’t gonna help.”

Alex swallowed, his mind a sudden fog as it always was when Michael was in his space. He brought Michael’s hands down, and thought he saw a look of hurt flash through his eyes, but it was gone as quick as it came.

Alex shook those thoughts out of his head before they took him down a pointless path. “You know he doesn’t he need to wait for anybody to tell us what’s going on, he’s keeping us in suspense because he thinks it’s fun,” he said, surprised at the steadiness in his voice with his heart racing the way it was. Damn it. He thought he’d gotten past Michael’s effects on him.

“Okay,” Michael said, “take that as a good sign. He wouldn’t be so willing to wait if there was a real emergency.”

Alex frowned. “I’m sorry, which parent did you grow up with? Because mine taught me that the gods didn’t care about anything, not even each other, not unless they had something to gain.”

“You know not all the gods are like that,” Michael said, his eyes shining brighter as they searched Alex’s face. “Our parents care about us. They love us.”

Alex stared, then scoffed. “Wow. Your definition of love really is jacked up, isn’t it?”

Michael’s brows furrowed, looking at Alex as if he’d just given him a crucial piece of evidence to solve a case that had been cold for years, and he stepped closer. “What’re you talking about? What does that mean?”

Alex clenched his jaw and shook his head. “We don’t have time for this.”

But Michael wouldn’t let it go, and Alex knew better than to expect him to. He took hold of both of Alex’s arms and pulled him in close, his expression serious in a way that Alex forgot he was capable of being, and he said, “Alex, what does that mean?”

“Oh, I get it,” Hermes suddenly said from the other end of the room, grinning as if he was getting the year’s best gossip. “You,” he gestured at Alex with his chin, his hand stroking his bird’s back, then he gestured to Michael, “dumped him.” He inhaled through grit teeth. “What happened? Bow and arrow too small?”

Alex opened his mouth to say something one should most likely never say in front of a god, especially not when its pet hawk was watching you like it was searching for a reason to attack, when horse hooves suddenly sounded outside.

Alex moved out of Michael’s hold, his fingers tightly gripping the hem of his jeans-jacket sleeves as the door swung open, and in came who Alex initially thought were two men, but then he looked down and saw that, instead of human legs, their lower halves were replaced with those of horses.

“Centaurs,” Michael said beside him.

Alex stared at the tall figure that came in behind the two centaurs with two more satyrs behind him, their legs those of goats instead. They carried no weapons, and didn’t look like they could hold their own long in battle, but the man walked in with no hesitation, almost careless in his steps as if he didn’t think there was anything in the world that could harm him.

Alex straightened as the man’s eyes caught his. He was beautiful with his dark curls and rosy cheeks, but there was a mischief in his eyes as he regarded the demigods that Alex could only associate with Hermes, and that kept him wary. This was definitely no ordinary human. Instantly, Alex felt a protective urge rise in his chest and he tugged on Michael’s sleeve, pulling him behind him. He was fully aware of Michael’s eyes on him, but he focused on the stranger’s dark eyes piercing his.

“Oh good,” the man said with a tilt of his head and a smirk that did nothing to ease Alex’s nerves. “The heroes have arrived safely.”

“Heroes?” Michael asked.

“Of course! I’ve yet to meet a soul who hasn’t heard of Alexander, the son of Artemis. No one ever thought she would have children. Why, you’re the talk of Olympus. You and your, shall we say,” his eyes narrowed at Alex, his smile growing, “very exceptional feats.”

Alex narrowed his eyes and took a step back, taking Michael with him, though the man seemed to have barely noticed as he pressed a finger to his chin, seemingly deep in thought. “Yes, yes, we know all about you, Alexander, and of course, Michael Guerin. The power couple that saved Olympus.”

“Actually, it was a daughter of Athena and a lot of blood that saved Olympus,” Alex said, his voice curt. He knew very well that angering this man could end horribly, just as he knew that Michael was watching him. “Isn’t that usually how demigods win? Risking death?”

The man stared, then leaned over to look at Hermes, “Does this kid remind you of anyone?”

“Right?” Hermes said, crossing his legs on the couch. “I thought the same thing when I saw him, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

“It’s the attitude, it’s familiar.”

“Artemis, maybe?” Michael tried, and Alex didn’t fail to notice the way he avoided Alex’s eyes.

“Ehhh – oh!” Hermes snapped his fingers. “Poseidon’s kid! You know, the, uh, the one with the sword.”

“Oh yeah,” the man pursed his lips. Whoever they were talking about, Alex had the feeling this man didn’t like him too much.

“What was his name?”

He waved it off. “Peter Johnson.”

“I don’t think that’s the right –”

“Anyway, back to business,” the man waved, and in his hand, a glass of wine suddenly appeared. In that instant, both Alex and Michael knew who they were talking to, and they took another step back.

“Dionysus,” Alex muttered.

“God of wine,” Michael finished.

The satyrs bleated nervously and huddled closely together, their eyes watching Dionysus, though he seemed more agitated than angry.

“Honestly,” he said with a roll of his eyes, “that’s not all I do.”

“You’re the one that summoned us here?” Alex asked. “Why?”

“Like I said; business,” Dionysus smiled, and the satyrs huddled further away. “It’s about your parents.”

Alex glanced at them, as well as the way the centaurs seemed to eye him and Michael with more of a concern, and he kept a tight hold on Michael’s sleeve. It would do very little to protect him against the wrath of not one, but two gods, but Alex knew how sadistic the entities could be, and something about guarding Michael kept his nerves steady. If they wanted a doll to play with, at least they’d go for the first mortal in front of them; Alex.

“Let’s see,” Dionysus said, running his finger along the brim of the glass. “How to put this delicately…”

“They’ve gone missing, haven’t they?” Alex asked before he could help himself, and Dionysus twirled his glass.

“Just like that Johansson boy, always so melodramatic.”

“They’re not missing,” Hermes said. “We know where they are… ish.”

“They’re somewhere in Hades’ realm,” Dionysus said.

“Hades’ realm?” Alex and Michael exclaimed at the same time, and glanced at each other before quickly looking away.

“Ugh, they even talk at the same time,” Hermes said, nudging his hawk, amused, “I ship it.”

“How did they end up in Hades’ realm?” Alex asked Dionysus.

The wine god shook his head. “Apollo’s an idiot, that’s how. He let his pride get the better of him, and, apparently, did not know that picking a fight with the king of the Underworld was a really bad idea. Artemis tried to intervene, because of course she did, and they both managed to piss him off.”

“You mean Hades can actually keep them from leaving the Underworld?” Michael asked, and Alex noticed he hadn’t moved from his side.

“It’s his domain, he can do whatever he wants,” Hermes said. “Even Zeus can’t interfere with his brother’s business.” His hawk squawked indignantly, and he rolled his eyes. “He knows I don’t mean any disrespect. I’m just giving the boys the facts, or would you rather they go in blind?”

“Go in blind?” Alex narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?”

“Surely, you’ve figured it out by now, haven’t you?” Dionysus raised a brow, taking a sip from his glass. “Why else do you think I’ve had you two summoned here? Two demigods?”

“A quest,” Alex muttered in realization, panic setting in his stomach at the word.

“A quest to… save the gods?” Michael asked, and Alex could feel Michael’s fingers softly take his, as if afraid Alex would suddenly snap and pull away. Alex, however, who desperately wanted to sit down, but couldn’t do it in front of the gods, let Michael hold onto him, drawing enough strength to stay standing.

“Save the gods,” Dionysus scoffed. “Do you honestly believe you have the ability to do such a thing? If Artemis and Apollo really wanted to leave, they could. Sure, such disrespect to the king of the Underworld would cause a war the likes this generation has never known, but they could do it.”

“So then, what would the quest be for?”

“Hades has agreed to let Artemis and Apollo leave without any conflict.”

Alex stepped forward. “If?”

Dionysus’s smile widened. “Clever boy. You see, Hades is immovable to all pleas but one. Persephone’s.”

“His wife,” Michael said softly. “That’s actually kind of romantic.”

“Yes, real Clary and Jace those two – anyway,” he said, “Persephone doesn’t very much like seeing her cousins so bothered in the Underworld, and while she can’t seem to convince Hades to let them go so easily, he has agreed to a quest.”

“A quest?” Alex and Michael both said at the same time, and this time, Alex refused to look in his direction.

“A quest to retrieve a few items,” he continued, unbothered. “You see, Persephone’s allowed to leave the Underworld for three seasons of the year, and during one of those trips topside, she lost some valuable gifts that Hades had given her. Prove yourself true, worthy heroes; find the objects, bring them back to the Underworld, and Hades will let your parents go.”

“That’s it?” Michael asked. “You just want us to find some of Persephone’s missing things?”

“That’s it, he says,” Dionysus rubbed his temples, and Hermes looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. “Cursed objects from the Lord of the Dead himself, all touched by a goddess and Queen of the Underworld, certain to have monsters from the very depths of Tartarus searching for them in hopes of attaining higher power – but yes. That would be it.”

“How many objects are there?” Alex asked, his voice steady despite his racing heart. His mother was stuck somewhere in the Underworld. How had he not felt it sooner?

“Three,” the wine god said.

“And where are they?”

Dionysus’s smile turned to a smirk, and he shrugged innocently, though Alex suspected he was enjoying watching them struggle with the idea of doing the king of the Underworld’s bidding. “Couldn’t find out even if we wanted to. This is a quest from a god, and we are never to interfere in one another’s business.”

“But if you’re sending us on this quest –”

“Er – wrong, sun child,” he held up a finger to Michael. “We’re not sending you on anything. We are simply delivering a message for father.”

“Wouldn’t that message be for Hermes to deliver then?” Alex said coldly. “Or do you just enjoy watching demigods writhing?”

Something dark suddenly flashed in Dionysus’s eyes, and he leaned forward. Alex was ashamed to say he stepped back. “You sound just like him, you know,” he said quietly, his voice coming out in a sort of hiss, and the satyrs behind him cowered together, whimpering, “that son of Poseidon. Insolent boy with no regard for decency or honor. No sense of self-preservation either –”

“Dionysus –”

“You’ve been allowed to run your mouth for a long time because of who you are. The one and only child of a god. It has served you well, but someday, someday soon, you will be reminded of your mortality, and I do hope, demigod, that when the day of your fall comes, I will be there to see it.”

“Dionysus!” Hermes snapped, and Dionysus looked up at him almost bored. His entire size as he’d spoken to Alex seemed to have grown twice as large in height, but as Hermes addressed him, he shrunk back down to his normal size.

“There’s no point in scaring the men, they’ll have plenty to frighten them if they choose to accept the quest.”

“Choose?” Michael asked, as Alex felt the words stuck in his throat. He vaguely felt Michael’s hand tight around his wrist, and for a moment, he didn’t know if the trembling was coming from his own hand or from Michael’s. He later realized it was both. He silently cursed himself for being unable to pull his hand out of Michael’s, cursed the way every fiber in his body yearned to get closer to the son of Apollo, to feel his warmth, his comfort.

He suddenly remembered the days when he was younger, when he was still under his mother’s guiding wing, and she’d warned him against angering the gods. She had said that a god’s pride overweighed everything else, even their love. She had warned him against testing that theory. Sometimes, he forgot. Sometimes, he just didn’t care.

“You got that, Alexander?”

“Hm?” Alex snapped out of his thoughts, and glanced over his shoulder at Dionysus who was smirking at him over his wine glass, seemingly satisfied with having properly scared him. He swallowed, and said, “Yeah, the quest is a choice.” He was glad that at least his voice was steady. He couldn’t let them see they were getting to him. His mother had warned him against that, too.

“What if we refuse?” Michael asked, and Alex looked at him. He was glancing at Alex too quickly, and Alex had the strange feeling that he was just as afraid of going as Alex was, but was trying not to show it for his sake.

Alex looked away. He hated how easy it was to read Michael, as if nothing had changed, as if Alex still didn’t feel an ache whenever he was near the son of Apollo now. He closed his eyes, tugging his hand out of Michael’s. He just had to try harder, that was all.

“Well, if you refuse,” Dionysus said, running his finger along the rim of his cup and examining it, “we’ll just call upon another child of Apollo, and a child of…” he shrugged, “I dunno, Iris?” He raised a brow at Hermes. “What do her kids do anyway?”

“Artemis won’t be happy,” Hermes said in a sing-song voice, leaning on his staff that had appeared out of nowhere. Alex recognized it as the caduceus, a metal staff with spread out wings on the top and two snakes intertwined up the rod. He must be preparing to send us back, Alex realized. “Your only son won’t take the quest to help you? That’ll be a real jab at her pride.”

“And Zeus knows she’s got plenty of that,” Dionysus rolled his eyes

“Pride,” Alex muttered. A god’s pride outweighs all else, my son. Even love. You would do well never to test that theory. Sometimes Alex forgot. Sometimes, he didn’t care. And sometimes, it shook him to his very core because as his mother had said those words, he knew that she had been no exception.

He scoffed, hoping it made him less anxious than he actually was. “I don’t get to choose, do I?”

Dionysus tilted his head, something dark about his smile as he taunted, “Clever, clever boy.”

“But Guerin does,” he finished, turning to him. “You’re not coming.”

“What?” Michael’s brows furrowed. “Alex –”

“Don’t I at least get that much?” he turned to Hermes. “Don’t I get to choose who to go with?”

The god of messengers shrugged, a smirk playing at his lips as if he’d suddenly caught a good episode of his favorite drama. “It’s your quest, Boy Wonder, you can take whoever you want, so long as you don’t take more than seven.”

“Seven?”

“Seven,” he nodded, then pointed to Dionysus and said, “Hey, remember the last seven? Poseidon’s kid was part of that group, too!”

“Fantastic,” Dionysus downed his entire drink in one gulp. “And that er – that blonde one, what was his name? Jace, John… Jack?”

“Further away,” Hermes shook his head, and placed a hand on his hip, returning his attention to Alex. “Anyway, we picked Cute Curls here because you two worked so well together the last time. If you want someone else –”

“I want someone else,” Alex said, cutting him off, but Hermes didn’t look insulted. His eyes, instead, went to Michael, as if eager for his reaction.

Michael was silent a moment, and it ached Alex’s chest in ways he had hoped he would’ve gotten over by now, but he waited for Michael’s resignation, to say he wasn’t going, that he wouldn’t want to go with Alex anyway. Then –

“Can I get some time to think about it?”

Alex said nothing. It wasn’t a resignation, but it was close, and while part of him was relieved to hear it, the other felt inexplicably heavy. He scolded himself for always forgetting. Michael wasn’t the type of guy to fight for anyone. He never had been.

Hermes glanced at Dionysus and sighed, all but slumping against his staff. “Twenty-four hours. Any more than that, and it’d only be unfair to you,” he gestured with his chin at Alex, then straightened as Dionysus came to stand by him.

“What do you mean, ‘unfair to me’?”

The bird on Hermes’s shoulder squawked and flapped its wings as Hermes raised his staff. Dionysus crossed his arms, his expression bored, but his eyes twinkling as he said, “Oh, did I forget to mention? Since Persephone leaves the Underworld at the end of winter, you have until the spring equinox to find Hades’ gifts and return everything, which gives you about…” he inhaled deeply, “a month or so? Good luck.”

Michael had just started to say something when Hermes swept his staff across the room, and he disappeared from Alex’s side. Alex felt himself sucked into a tornado, Michael’s touch on his arm still warm, his voice still echoing in Alex’s ears as his feet suddenly touched solid ground, and he swayed. He looked around, and found himself back in his small bedroom, a small wind in the room the only evidence of Hermes’s power. The ceiling high narrow shelf filled with books that had been read too many times, the bed left unmade, the potted plants on the windowsill – it was all the same.

Alex released the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, and he glanced around to make sure no one else had come with him before he fell onto his bed, the dread in his chest unceasing. He held his charm bracelet up, lightly tracing the crescent moon with his finger before his hand fell limp to his side.

Twenty-four hours, Hermes had said. If Alex didn’t decide on who he would take with him, he suspected the gods would choose for him.

He hesitated before he reached for a particularly worn-out book on his shelf, an engraved golden sun on the binding. The corner of his lips quirked upward in a half-smile as he remembered the look on Michael’s face when he’d given it to him for his birthday over a decade ago now. He opened to the first page, and staring back at him was a picture of him and Michael, still teenagers. Michael was sitting in a large armchair with Alex in his lap. Michael had been talking to someone out of the shot, but Alex had been staring at him, the love evident even in that picture.

If Alex closed his eyes, he could still hear the sound of Frank Sinatra on vinyl playing, Michael’s laughter as his mother made another joke that had everyone cackling because of how bad it was, the smell of roast beef, potatoes, carrots, green beans, and corn wafting through the air. It was one of the few times Alex had been allowed to step away from the forest, from his mother. Then that quest had come, and everything had changed.

Alex opened his eyes, the smile from his lips gone, the memory now silent. He stared at the picture a moment longer, then put it back, keeping the book tucked away in its corner so quickly that it shook the shelf. He stood, and while he knew that it was best for him to get ready, to figure out a plan, to do anything but stay swept up in the anxiety, all he wanted was to get out, to see Maria, to talk to her.

Guerin needed time to decide, but Alex knew that after insisting so hard to the gods, there was no way the son of Apollo would want to go with him now. It was good, it was what he had wanted, but it did nothing to ease the heavy weight in his chest. As he left his apartment, he ran his fingers over the crescent moon on his bracelet, as he so often did when he was trying to calm his thoughts, though he feared that did even less.

It was going to be a long half-hour, Maria knew, whenever Hyde Manson walked into the store. Maria had suppressed a groan when the bell hanging over the door had rung, and the tall man had walked in, wearing a sleeveless shirt as if hoping to show off his arms, and flashing a blinding smile at Maria that she knew he’d been practicing in his car mirror for the last two hours. She had seen him outside the glass wall earlier and rolled her eyes, pretending to busy herself with a phone call so as not to give him a reason to come in. As soon as she had set it down, he’d taken his chance, and all but jumped to the door.

Maria went to work on organizing the thick-bound books on their shelves without so much as a Welcome to Hyde, already able to feel his eyes burning a hole into the side of her head. He went from the ink shelves, to the potted plants, to the cauldrons, and as soon as he came near the books, Maria dusted her hands and went to her desk.

She glanced up at him every so often, hoping that the object he would grab off the shelves would be the last one, but every time, he would stare at it a moment as if examining it, hum loudly, shake his head, and put it back.

Maria stuck her tongue in her cheek, and as the tall man approached the desk and set a pot of Oleanders on the mahogany desk, she made no attempt at a smile.

“Finished with yesterday’s batch that quickly, did you?” she said dryly, but Hyde smiled as if Maria had just twirled her hair and giggled at his presence.

“What can I say? Pretty is pretty,” he said, holding the pink flowers up next to Maria’s face. “And I like what’s pretty.”

“And poisonous, apparently,” she said, setting the pot down, and turning to the register. She had little doubt that these flowers had been pushed to some corner in Hyde’s apartment, dead and forgotten, yet she briefly deliberated whether or not she should warn him that they were highly poisonous.

“What?” he blinked at her, though nothing about his expression indicated he’d been really listening.

Maria pursed her lips, then shrugged. “Oh, nothing.” She clicked a few buttons on the register. “That’ll be three-hundred dollars.”

He whistled, setting the pot down and reaching for the wallet in his back pocket. “Magic isn’t cheap, is it?”

“Not if it’s real,” Maria said, a sickly sweet smile on her lips. “I’ve warned you not to dabble with what you don’t understand, Hyde.” She glanced at the hand he’d slipped over hers on the desk, and pulled hers away. “I think I’ve also mentioned that I don’t like being ogled at or touched, but you never seem to want to listen to that either.”

She reached to take the money from him, but his fingers tightened on the bills, and he tugged her closer, his eyes dark as they looked her up and down. “I like danger.”

Maria sighed, reaching to stroke one of the petals with her long nail. Hyde followed her movement, and visibly swallowed. “So you’ve said,” she muttered, and it wasn’t until the tip of her nail touched the very tip of the petal did she let go. She snatched the money, her smile falling. “And pretty things. I’ll make sure to jot that down.”

But Hyde who, Maria had always suspected, had inhaled the gas fumes of his many, many, many cars one too many times, furrowed his brows for a moment, as if wondering whether or not that was meant to be sarcastic, and eventually smirked. “Yeah,” he said, “you make sure to do that.”

Maria’s eye twitched as Hyde put his wallet back and took the potted plant. He gave her a wink, huffed a chuckle, satisfied, and turned to leave. Before he reached the door, Maria leaned forward on her desk, and, in her sweetest voice, said, “Er – you know, Hyde, you look like a protein shake kinda guy. Dare I presume?”

He stopped with his hand on the door, his smile widening and his arms flexing on the plant ever so slightly as if he expected Maria to ask for a demonstration of just what his training has done for him. “You presume correctly.”

She tilted her head cutely. “Can I give you a tip?”

“A tip?” he licked his lips. “Always.”

“Those flowers you have,” she pointed at the pot, “do absolute wonders for the metabolism. You take three petals with your shake, you’ll see changes within a day, I guarantee it.”

“No kidding?” he looked down at his flowers, his smile widening.

She shook her head. “But er – only three. No more than that. Got it?”

“Got it,” he said. “Wow, two months of coming in here, and I’m just finding this out? You’ve been holding out on me, DeLuca.”

“Two months,” she chuckled as he held up a hand in a wave and left, and her chuckle fell to a groan. “Feels like two decades.”

She bent down to the mirror, about to check her makeup, when she heard a hiss. She looked up to see a small albino snake staring at her from inside its glass case.

She pouted. “What?” The snake said nothing, just looked at her with what she discerned as an unimpressed look. “He’ll be fine! Just a little nausea, nothing he can’t handle.” The snake hissed and she waved him off. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic, you saw me charm it. Worst thing it can do now is give him a stomach ulcer.” She shook her head, thinking of the way his eyes had followed her nail as it dragged along the petal, subtly creating the spell, and she muttered, “Did it right in front of him, too, what a moron.”

Maria leaned into the small, wooden-framed mirror on her desk, fixing the wing of pale yellow glitter on one eye, the other carrying a sharp wing of purple. She had two, pink, purple, and blue parallel lines coming down one cheek, and her long black lashes were tipped with silver glitter. She moved back, admiring her work, and her eyes caught a stray leaf that had lodged itself among the many bead bracelets along her wrists. With her sharpened, black nails, she picked it out, tossing it onto the desk, the golden rings on her fingers gleaming in the sunlight as she did.

As she turned to the shelf behind her, she lifted the front of her long skirt up to make a basket, the beads at her waist dangling, and she pulled a few small bottles that needed refilling, dumping them into the basket in front of her. She tied her skirt into a knot around her waist, keeping a hold of it from the bottom, and made her way to the back of the store, humming to herself, her curls ticking her bare shoulders. She had just set the last bottle on the desk in the backroom when she felt a sudden chill go up her spine, and she froze.

She stepped out, scanning the small store, but everything from the potted plants to the large, leather-bound books to the brooms and bottles looked untouched, unbothered.

Maria frowned, and slowly moved up the shelves. The yellow snake looked up at her from its tank as she walked by, raising its head. It stuck its forked tongue out at her, and she raised a brow at it.

“You don’t feel that?”

The snake said nothing, and for a second, Maria thought maybe she really was just imagining it, but just as she turned to the backroom, a hundred voices screamed at once, and she covered her ears.

She hissed herself, and turned to the door with squinted eyes to see that Alex had just walked in. “Why?” she straightened, willing the aura’s energy away from her. “Why’s your head so loud?”

Alex closed the door behind him, looking up and down the street before he turned the Open sign to Close. Maria’s frown deepened, and she approached Alex. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Once Alex seemed certain that no one else was in the store, that no one was listening in, he said, “I need to tell you something.”

By the time Alex had finished, the two were sitting on the front desk, Maria staring at Alex as if she was reading his very soul. “You would’ve gone anyway, wouldn’t you? Choice or not, you would’ve gone.” Alex said nothing, and she leaned in. “Alex, you can’t. You remember what happened the last time!”

“I was a teenager,” Alex said, though the argument sounded weak even to his own ears. “I’m an adult now, it’ll be different.”

“Probably,” Maria said, “but better or worse, I don’t know.” She shook her head. “This isn’t happening. You’ve finished your quest, you succeeded, it’s over now. It should be over.”

“You know that it’s never that simple.”

“Well, that’s just unfair!” she snapped, and pushed herself off the desk, pacing the store. Alex didn’t follow her, but stared ahead, his thoughts running a thousand miles per second.

“And Guerin,” she turned to him, “what was the point of that?”

“They said we worked best together,” Alex said, trying not to think of Michael’s eyes on him, of Michael’s warm touch, of Michael’s smile that seemed to fracture the defenses Alex had spent over a decade building in a matter of seconds. He could still feel his body thrumming with the excitement of being in the same room with him after so long a time, and he closed his eyes, dispelling the thought of Michael from his mind. He couldn’t think like that anymore, how many times did he have to remind himself? “They said they’d chosen him for me.”

Maria expression softened. “Sorry, I shouldn’t bring him up.”

“Why?” Alex said. “He doesn’t mean anything to me, and he’s not coming on the quest anyway.”

She frowned. “I thought you said he wanted to think about it.”

“Which is as good as a no,” he said. “Besides, I told him I didn’t want him to come.”

“You really think he’ll listen to that?”

“It doesn’t matter, the choice is mine, and I say he’s not coming.”

“Knowing Guerin, he’ll find a way around it.”

“I don’t need him to come with me, Maria!” Alex snapped. He exhaled a shaky breath, rubbing his face, and he looked up at Maria to see her watching him as if she’d just realized something.

“Even after all this time,” she said, “you’re still trying to protect him.”

Alex hesitated, then said, his voice quiet, “He’ll die if he comes.”

“Alex, last time –”

“Last time was my own fault,” Alex said. “What if I make the same mistake this time? What if I do, and Guerin suffers the consequences?”

After a moment, Maria said, “Can I be honest?”

Alex smirked without humor. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself. Your mistake – as you’ve been calling it since that damned day – it wasn’t a bad one. Guerin was the one that failed, not you. You have to stop blaming yourself, babe.”

“Please, Maria,” Alex closed his eyes. “I can’t have this conversation again, okay? Not now.”

In that moment, and not for the first time, Maria looked angry. Angry at the gods, their quests, and at Michael Guerin. As always though, she swallowed her anger, and after a deep breath, said, “Fine. We won’t talk about Guerin. Let’s talk about the quest.” She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “I’m thinking I could try a tracking spell – they’re not my area of expertise, but I’m more confident than I was when I was seventeen, I promise you that – we could find out where the first gift might be, and start from there.”

Alex opened his eyes, his brows furrowed. “We?”

Maria looked at him with a raised brow, challenging him. “Uh yeah. We. As in we, together. You think I’m going to let you on this quest without me?”

“Maria,” he straightened, “this could be dangerous. You could die –”

“Tell me you don’t need me to come with you,” she said, and Alex froze. He hated it, but the words wouldn’t move past his throat. “Tell me you’d rather be away from me. Tell me you don’t want me there. Or Kyle, for that matter, who I know for a fact you could never leave behind.”

Alex pressed his lips together, and after barely two seconds, Maria nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

“Maria –”

“Alex, I’m not wasting my time arguing with you about this. We fought through the first quest together, we’ll see this one through together, too.” She shrugged, leaning against the desk beside Alex. “In terms of package deals, Hecate and Artemis weren’t so bad. You know, some people consider them the same goddess.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “goddess of magic, and goddess of the hunt.” His smirk faded. “Practically twins.”

Twins. Once again, Alex’s thoughts were turned back to the son of Apollo. He wondered how much longer it would be before his mind stopped automatically returning to Michael. He felt a jeweled hand on his, and looked up to see Maria’s soft gaze searching his face, and Alex had the strange feeling she could see into his soul again, distinguishing the one source of anguish he had from everything else. In all fairness, that source was always the same thing.

“Look, you’re my leader in any battle. You know Kyle and I are with you, whatever you choose –”

“Confident enough to send him onto the battlefield, are you?” he joked, and Maria smirked, punching his shoulder.

“Yes! Because I know how much he loves you, and I know what he would do to protect you… and I know you’re worried about Guerin, but that risk should be for him to take or deny. Not you.”

Alex smirked after a moment, though where he felt bitterness and fear only a moment ago, he now only felt exhaustion. “Will you think less of me as a leader if I tell you that I’m scared to see him again?”

He’d meant it as a joke, but Maria smiled kindly and leaned in, pressing a kiss to his cheek before she pulled away, wiping at the lipstick mark with her thumb. “One thing I’ve learned in my life as a demigod; it’s our human sides that make us great heroes, and yours has never failed to amaze me.”

Alex searched her face, and he felt something in his heart tighten because he knew she meant it. Maria had all the faith in the world in him. He remembered the look on her face, ten years ago, when she’d taken his hand as the quest had been laid upon them. She looked at him then, as she did now, with absolute trust, and it hurt him because deep down, he knew, he just didn’t have that same trust in himself. Nonetheless, his mother was stuck in the Underworld, and whoever was with him, it was up to him to lead this quest and save the gods.

He sighed, and said the words he didn’t think he would ever say again. “That thing that I asked you to hide all those years ago… do you happen to remember where it is?”

Maria’s smile widened.

“And this is the Venus de Milo.” Alex looked over his shoulder at the tour guide leading a teacher and her middle school students through the Metropolitan museum. “One of many artistic interpretations of the goddess of love, Aphrodite. Throughout history, artists have taken to creating their own versions of the Greco/Roman gods. None are more powerful than the big twelve. Some of them you may have heard of, and some may be alien to you. There’s Zeus, god of thunder…”

Alex pushed his cap down further over his eyes, and took a step closer to the statue of his mother as the sound of sneakers sounded against the tiled ground, the tour guide going on about the gods while other museum goers chatted amongst one another. He looked up at his mother’s statue, her cold eyes staring off into the distance, her bow in hand. It was silly, he knew, to be drawn to any form of his mother.

“Who’s she?” he heard, and snapped out of his thoughts. At his elbow was a girl with long blonde hair, curtaining half her face, and a backpack covered in tiny colorful umbrellas, staring with big blue eyes at Artemis. “Hey, hey!” she called to her tour guide, but he didn’t seem to hear her. She puffed out her cheeks, annoyed, then turned to Alex, tugging on his sleeve. “Hey, who’s…”

She trailed off, her cheeks turning red as her eyes caught Alex’s face. She dropped her arm, holding her hand close to her chest. “Er… s-sorry.”

Alex raised a brow and said nothing. The girl pointed at the statue of Artemis, though her eyes never left Alex’s face. “I-Is she… is she Aphrodite, too?”

“Aphrodite?” Alex blinked, a sudden wave of protectiveness growing in his chest. “Does she look like Aphrodite to you?”

The girl’s eyes widened, the red on her cheeks deepening, and she looked at Artemis as if studying her, then, “Well, all the art looks different. No one really knows what they looked like, you know.”

“Looked like,” Alex muttered, his arms crossed tighter, then blinked, realizing her implication, “Don’t talk about them like they’re dead,” he snapped, “You don’t know anything about them.”

“I’m sorry,” the girl backed away, startled, and ran back to her group. Alex watched her, the heat only growing in his chest, pressing against his heart and making him ill. His fingers dug into his arms, the crescent moon of his charm bracelet pressing sharply into his wrist, leaving painful marks. “Damn it,” he whispered, turning his eyes back to Artemis.

He tried to remember the last thing his mother had told him, but it was impossible. All he could remember were her cold eyes as they regarded him. A soldier, that was all he’d ever been. He thought things had changed, he thought he’d grown up, he thought he’d become more than that.

But even as he sighed deeply, his eyes staring back at Artemis’s unseeing ones, he knew that wasn’t true.

“Where are you, mom?”

“You know where she is,” he heard a voice say, a voice so familiar that he didn’t need to even look over to see who it was. “The question is; are you gonna go get her?”

“Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Guerin,” he said, though with no real venom in his voice. He just wanted to be able to breathe, why was it so hard to breathe?

He felt Michael come to stand beside him, his arms crossed behind his back. Alex glanced at him sideways, and noticed that his clothes hadn’t changed since the cabin. He looked no different, but reeked of sweat, as if he’d been running from somewhere. Alex wondered if he had come from wherever he lived straight to the museum, then realized he didn’t actually know where Michael’s apartment was.

Alex’s jaw clenched as he felt Michael’s eyes burn into the side of his head. “What?” he ground out.

“You okay?”

“What do you think?”

A moment, then, “You really freaked that girl out. She’s still looking over here though. I think she has a crush on you.”

“What are you doing here, Guerin?”

“I knew you’d be here,” he said, ignoring Alex’s question. “You always are.”

Alex raised his brow, and saw that Michael really was watching him, his eyes filled with something Alex hadn’t seen in years. He looked away, trying to convince himself that the electric shock that had gone up his spine was because of the pressure of his nails in his arms.

“For ten years I came here and I waited, sometimes all day, just hoping to see you. The first time I ever saw you, I just wanted to run at you, hold onto you and ask you why. Why you decided to end things, why you wouldn’t tell me where you lived, why I had to come here to find you, but you looked so… broken. I knew that if I came to you, it would only hurt worse. So I stayed behind, and I watched you, secretly. I knew you were trained to watch out for anyone that might hide from you, but when you were here, it was like you were too tired to keep watch, to stay on your guard. For ten years, I watched you, and you never even noticed I was there –”

“Is there a point to this story?”

Michael nodded, a soft smile at his lips, seemingly unbothered. Always unbothered, Alex thought with resentment seeping into his chest, making the burn worse. “I know why you put down your guards here. It’s because of her,” he said, and gestured to the figure of Artemis. “She protected you. She still protects you.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he said, though his words came out quieter than he would’ve liked.

“It’s your mom, Alex.”

“It’s a statue.”

“You still need it,” Michael said, stepping closer, and not too long after, Alex felt Michael’s hand on his lower back. “You need it because it’s the closest thing you have to her. She guards you, and when you’re with her, you’re not a soldier anymore. You’re just someone’s son.”

“I’ve never just been someone’s son,” Alex muttered, feeling a lump in his throat, and closed his eyes, shaking away the thought of Hermes and Dionysus eying him like a bomb about to go off, just because he was the only child of a god. Dionysus had talked about the freedom he’d been given, but he was wrong. Alex had never been free to do anything.

“Besides, what do you know about needing, Guerin?” Alex finally said when he regained his voice, his eyes digging into Michael’s. “You’ve never needed anyone.”

Michael’s eyes searched his, and for a split second, Alex thought he saw the son of Apollo clench his jaw, but then he smiled that free, confident smile, and he figured he must’ve imagined it.

“You need her,” he said. “Let me help you get her back.”

Alex frowned, Maria’s words coming back to him. It should be Michael’s choice to take the risk, and yet…

“No.”

“Alex –”

“And if you get hurt? If you die?” Alex asked, unable to help himself. “What then? You did consider that, didn’t you? Because I know you don’t really think of anything long-term.”

Michael sighed a quick, pained sigh, and stepped closer, his hold on the back of Alex’s lower back tightening. “You’re right. I don’t, but I don’t care. It’s you, Alex, why should death mean a damn thing to me now? If you’re going to risk it, so am I, there’s no question about it.”

Alex blinked, confused. Then why…

“We’ll bring Liz and Max and Isobel – just like last time. You can ask Maria if she wants to come, and…” he looked like he was about to suggest someone else, but thought better of it, and shook his head. “Look, I didn’t wait here for hours just to hear you say no.”

“Hours?” Alex’s frown deepened. “How would you have had time to…” his eyes widened as realization dawned. “That’s why you asked to think about the quest, whether you’d go or not. You knew I wouldn’t want you to, and you just wanted time to convince me.”

“Oh, I’m going whether you want me to or not,” Michael said, pulling in Alex’s body against his, making Alex gasp. “I’d just rather not do it with you angry at me. So… what’s it gonna be, Alex? How easy are you going to make this for the both of us?”

Alex swallowed. I know why you put down your guards here, that was what Michael had said, and Alex hated that he was right. He had felt it in the cabin; his racing heart, his trembling figures, his body urging him to move closer to Michael, to close the gap between them and take his lips in his, to press against him and feel his skin, but he had been able to push those feelings down. He was a soldier of the goddess of the hunt, able to withstand the worst kinds of torture, able to abandon all emotion for the sake of rational thought, something – he found – he could not live without no matter where he was or what he was doing. Except with Michael. With Michael, it was always a struggle to think, always a matter of keeping his heart in control, and despite having been able to do it in the cabin, Alex doubted it completely now.

He had been in the presence of two gods who – as all the other gods do – were sizing him up, questioning whether or not this son of Artemis had any real talent, whether his title as the miracle child came into play with his abilities at all, and even then, he had been aware of Michael touching him, Michael watching him, Michael standing beside him. Now, it was just the two of them, their harshest judges and spectators gone. There were other people, but none of them mattered. Nobody else would ever matter, and Alex knew that having Michael come on this journey – it would ultimately hurt Michael, but it would kill Alex.

Still… Michael’s bright eyes searched his, falling to his lips every so often as if he was struggling with not being able to kiss him as well, and Alex found that he wanted Michael, more than anyone else, to come. He hated himself for it, but his defenses were lowered, and he wanted, wanted, wanted Michael with him.

And, reluctantly accepting that, Alex said, “I want Kyle to come, too.”

Michael blinked, his brows furrowed. “What?”

Alex pushed away, his hands on Michael’s chest to keep him at a distance. “I want Kyle to come. You remember him, don’t you? The son of Hephaestus.”

“Yeah, I remember him, Alex,” he blinked a few more times, shaking his head. “You – You want Valenti to come?”

“Yes,” he said. “I do.”

“But Alex –”

“I know you don’t like him –”

“That’s right, I don’t –”

“But I do. We’re a package deal,” he said firmly, remembering Maria’s words, and Michael went silent. “And if you want me to take you without an argument, if you really want me to be okay with you coming, then Kyle has to come, too. I trust him, Guerin, I need him.”

“You… need him.” Michael repeated, then he ducked his head, pursing his lips, and when he looked up, he was smiling calmly. “Fine. Whatever you want.”

Alex nodded, and he looked up at his mother’s statue. She was gone, stuck in the Underworld, his closest friends were about to join him on another death-defying quest that he himself couldn’t get out of even if he wanted to, and Michael Guerin was going to be at his side through all of it.

He sighed, fiddling with his charm bracelet, the weight of it still heavy, matching the heavy beat of his heart as he muttered, “Whatever I want.”

***

I feel like stretching for days. To be honest, I didn’t know if I would be writing this story at all, but this chapter would just not leave me alone, and I wanted to at least get it done and posted, and now it is! I definitely feel like there’s a lot lacking here, but at least I finished, and that alone is enough cause to be proud, I think.

I would like to start editing one of my original novels, but I still hope to get in another malex one-shot within the next day or two. I hope you guys are having a simply wonderful night/day/afternoon/whatever. I’m going to try to read another chapter of the Clockwork Prince before bed. I hope you enjoyed reading. Love you all soooooooo much! ❤

#malex #alex manes #michael guerin #malex fanfic #malex fanfiction #malex fic #malex apollo and artemis #apollo and artemis #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex angst #malex fluff #malex au #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis #gay #love #malex demigod au #demigod au

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jimothysomebody · 6 years ago

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Hi! I hope you don't mind me asking but what is your diet for losing weight? I've been meaning to eat healthier too and was just curious.

I don't mind asking at all :)

First and foremost, use an app like my fitness pal or Samsung Health to log meals and count calories. I'm counting calories and trying to keep it below 2000 (if I go over I won't cry). I prefer to keep it below 1800 a day. Research what a reasonable calorie intake is for a person your height and age to lose weight and experiment with that a bit. In addition to that, I've also almost entirely cut out non diet beverages, I'm also only buying skim milk. I like snacking and I like sweet things, so I've tried to incorporate good things that aren't terrible for me. Also, go by serving sizes. Will you feel weird measuring your dry pasta with a measuring cup? Oh yeah. But it's worth it. I like the sugar free jello puddings (the ones that have to be refrigerated), those are 60 calories each. Sugar free applesauces that are sweetened with splenda, the walmart brand, those are 50 calories. I also like the walmart brand lowfat vanilla yogurts that are 130 calories, still not bad. 3 other things I swear by (because my nutrition intake isn't great and I don't eat fresh produce like I should be) are... Carnation Breakfast Essentials Light Start, those are about 150 calories each. At lunch, I have an equate brand meal replacement shake (slimfast, 180 calories depending on flavor), and at dinner I have 1 or 2 servings

An ordinary breakfast, for me, is two slices of center cut bacon (50 calories) two slices of toast with light margarine (roughly 200 calories), two scrambled eggs (140 calories) along with a pudding, applesauce or yogurt, and then a carnation breakfast essentials light start. So breakfast is generally 520 or less calories.

Lunch isn't very different. The meal replacement shakes are technically supposed to be just that, but I'm really not comfortable having just a shake and not eating anything. So I'll throw in something light, like a yogurt, pudding or applesauce with toast. Again, it'll run around 510 give or take depending on my options.

Dinner I give myself a little more calorie freedom. I don't fuss if it's around 700 calories. My dinner options always change, but I try to keep it around or under 600 calories. I swear by chicken breasts (110 calories) and making wraps with them. The calories will vary based on the size of your tortilla, I like the big ol garden spinach tortilla wraps (210 calories). I make my own homemade seasoning, because I can taste how much sodium I'm cutting out. I use cumin, cayenne, garlic and onion powder with just a little salt. If you use salsa, that's only like 10 calories. If you use salsa con queso, that's only 40 calories. I also like buffalo ranch, which is about 80. I don't even bother counting the shredding lettuce, I feel like you can burn off a serving of that with a healthy sneeze. And alongside that, I like to have a glass of nesquik no sugar added (as it also has vitamins and things in it too) if I slept through breakfast I tend to have two servings, one serving is 140 calories with skim milk give or take, and a side like an applesauce, yogurt or pudding. Final calorie count for this meal would between 600 and 700. At the end of this day, I'd be at about 1700, which is nice.

If you're not picky and have no problem eating fruits or veggies, absolutely add them as sides, they're low in calories and obviously good for you, and they make great snacks inbetween meals. Something I like snacking on is pickles. The calories per serving aren't really worth counting they're so low, but if you're dieting for heart health purposes don't snack on them often as they're very high in sodium.

Also, keep in mind, this is the diet I'm on as a person who's 6 ft 2in, find out how much you should be eating/should be eating to lose weight at your height before trying to diet.

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beardyallen · 6 years ago

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8 Crazy Nights (Part 1) - Captain Marvel, Work, and Food

Not sure if you all saw, but I tried to write this on Saturday...It did not go well. And now it's two days later, more stuff has happened, and documenting everything seems just a million times more daunting.

Nevertheless, he persisted.

However, I'm learning from my past mistakes and posting this in several pieces. Hopefully this isn't being read out of order.

If memory serves, and my memory is sufficiently muddled after the celebrating yesterday, I left off on Thursday, March 7th. The next day, I spent a goodly portion of my day in my office, cracking away at my random pedigree generator algorithm. Super (duper) exciting stuff, I know.

But R showed up that night to go see Captain Marvel at the nearby mall! And, as is apparently tradition when you visit someone's apartment, she brought me a gift. And what sort of gift do you bring a guy like me, you ask? Authentic German beer, obviously! Oh, and mangos, as I had divulged that I've only ever had dried mangos and mango-flavored things. Sadly, the mangos are still sitting in my fridge because I'm not entirely sure how one is supposed to eat them. *shrug*

The mall itself is quite strange (from my limited perspective), and I don't think I've described it yet. In a standard American mall, the jewelry shops are always on corners; here, the jewelry shop (as well as several other shops) are posted up with no walls in the middle of an open space. And approximately 25% of the shops are bakeries or coffee shops. This place really knows how to entice your sweet tooth! R picked up some mini cheesecakes for the trip the next day!! Super (duper) yummy!!

One of the other interesting aspects of the first floor is the manner in which one would buy shoes (there are like...10 "shops" that sell shoes). Once again, the shops have no walls, so you just kind of wander over to a display, the attendants hover around you to see if they can help (presumably?), and after you've picked your shoe, they give you carbon paper with an order, you walk to a desk 5 shops over to pay, then carry the receipt back and attendant who was helping you wipes off the shoes again and exchanges them for the receipt. I suppose it keeps clutter down and eases the shopping experience if you're trying on shoes from different displays? When I bought shoes a few weeks ago, it was quite an ordeal given that I had no idea what the expectations were and we couldn't really communicate with anything other than hand signals, nods, and shrugs.

The second (of five) floors has the supermarket and a plethora of men's clothing shops, half of which are athletic-themed shops like New Balance, Adidas, or knock-off-Air-Jordan, and the other half are more "high-end" clothing shops. Nothing in between. Oh! And more than 80% of the models in the pictures and spreads on the walls are white. Not sure how effective that is when 95% of your clientele doesn't look like that. *shrug* There _does_ seem to be a strong desire here to appear Western, but still...

The third floor is mostly women's clothing, and the fourth floor is partially empty. But the fifth floor has the cinema and food court. One comment about the phrase "Chinese food"...It's immensely inadequate. I don't know how many different cultural regions there are in China, but there's for sure at least 6 unique cuisines, all tied to a particular region. And when I say 6 _unique_ cuisines, even my uneducated, narrow American perspective (and palette) can distinguish between them. That, to me, is probably the biggest problem with describing a restaurant in the States as serving "Chinese food." But hey, I'm just an ill-informed American, so my opinion probably doesn't carry much weight.

The cinema itself was quite impressive as well. You know how when you walk into a cinema in the States, and you get hit with that theater-popcorn smell? It's buttery and savory and only sometimes kind of stale? Well, that didn't happen here. And not because they don't have popcorn, or that they don't serve as much popcorn...I think it's mostly because, as seems to be the case with everything here, the popcorn isn't of the buttery, salty variety. No, this popcorn is green or pink or caramel covered. Drizzled with chocolate syrup or some other sort of confectionary (is confectionary a real word?).

Oh, and it's not just the popcorn that got a make-over. The nachos here are...borderline unrecognizable. And that's not the say that you wouldn't recognize what was placed in front of you, because I think you would, but you just wouldn't recognize it as "nachos." Instead of warm tortilla chips with a cup of hot, sometimes-mildly-spicy cheese sauce and jalapenos and other nacho toppings, here you get a bowl of...warmed up Doritos. That's it. Just Doritos. That have been sitting under a heat lamp. R ordered them and offered me some. I said thanks-but-no-thanks. It was a strange experience, watching someone happily munch on heated up Doritos.

Captain Marvel was exceptional, though! The classic Marvel opening was modified a bit for this film, and if you've seen the movie, you know what I mean. For sure shed some positive number of happy-sad tears. The actors were all exceptional, and I was thoroughly impressed to see how seamlessly the special effects made it look like Samuel L. Jackson was 25 years younger and had both eyes! Crazy!!! Also seeing Phil Coulson return to the big screen was dope, and I loved the post-credit scenes! The music was perfect, too! I just wish the theater had the volume high enough to trigger the strong emotional reactions I'm used to feeling in Marvel movies.

After the movie, I stopped by the beer shop across the street where I met The One to buy a couple bottles of Founders beer. I swear, I had ever intent of enjoying them on St. Patrick's Day...but one of the two was consumed a couple days later, and the other wasn't opened until I got back from the celebration yesterday...and I don't think I would have really been able to appreciate the KBS in that particular state. So I have that to look forward to when I finish teaching tonight!

The next day was spent traveling with my coworkers to the Great Wall, and this seems like a decent place to pause the narrative.

Actually, we'll skip the Great Wall for a minute, and I'll describe the past week. It wasn't terribly eventful, but there are a few mildly-interesting pics. My work week consisted mostly of prepping my students' first exam, along with a practice exam (which I don't like doing, especially at this level). In fact, on Friday, after I finished writing and testing my random pedigree generator, I spent a good portion of time trying to get the numbers of a particular probability problem to work out.

I totally don't look like a crazy math fanatic at all..

When I wasn't working, I spent much of my time reading or playing video games. There's a Communications grad student here who also plays Super Smash Bros. We intend to maintain the friendship State-side as he has a few gamer friends in Denver who play SSB as well. And who have guessed that Petey Piranha would actually be an entertaining fighter?! Like..he's a glorified potted plant, but his attacks are interesting, effective, and rather distinct (see: he's a potted plant). *shrug*

Several of those nights involved take-out from KFC...which just released a new item. Or at least new to me. You'll note some orange fibrous material on the top, some sort of white cream in the middle, and the base is a waffle. Cuz nothing says "Kentucky Fried" quite like whatever the hell that is...(Not that KFC can even call themselves Kentucky Fried, nor is their chicken even real chicken! Sorry guys, someone's gotta say it!! lol)

The waffle itself is quite sweet, as is the white cream. Not sure the intended flavor of the cream, but my best comparison is the sugary drizzle stuff you put on toaster streudels. Struedels? Strueueudels? Not sure how to spell that, and Googling it would require a smoothly operating VPN which I just don't have the patience to deal with right now. And the orange stuff on top? It's dried crab. Which I knew in advance as I'd had it on the hike to the underground river and caves. All-in-all, it surpassed my expectations, but I don't think I'll get it again...

Oh, and dinner on Friday night consisted of lamb spine. Yup. The spine. Of a lamb. Technically, it was lamb spine hot pot, but let's be real: the stand-out contributor isn't the heat or the pot or the brine. It's the spine.

You can see a bunch of vertebrae just boiling away in there. You still use chopsticks, but one of your hands has a plastic glove. Oh! And you can push your chopstick through the hollow center of the vertebra to get at some of the marrow and what we could only assume was part of the spinal cord. I ate mine, but the only other person who was lucky(?) enough to find one didn't partake.

Other than some rather standard beer, CB ordered us a bottle (half a fifth) of some sort of herbal liquor. E, another instructor, mentioned a commercial for the product which seemed to suggest that this was the perfect gift from a marrying-age girl's new fiance to her father upon their first meeting. "Made for the man!" It was somewhere between a whiskey and an amaretto, but the sweet taste was distinctly floral or herbal or something. It was pretty good! Definitely something you sip to enjoy.

I have one more food experience to share, but it fits better in a different part of the story, so I'll stop here and pick up with The Great Wall in my next post.

Sláinte,

BeardyAllen

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nashvilletonihon · 6 years ago

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Let’s Talk About Culture Shock

Ok. I know what you’re thinking... “Rachel! It’s so good to have you back! I’ve missed you!” I know friend, I know. I say “life happens” a lot which is just as much of an excuse to make myself feel better for not updating as often as I should as it is legitimate reason for my lack of posts. (Especially because the last post I wrote I promised to write more...HA HA! Whoops!!)

That being said, remember when I first arrived in Japan and all of my posts were doom and gloom get me the f*ck outta here? Yeah, me too. Well, that was child’s play compared to the week I had. For the first time since I moved I experience very real and very genuine culture shock.

Now, you might be asking yourself what the difference between the culture shock I experienced a few months ago was and the culture shock I experienced this week is. I’m sooooo glad you asked.

Upon moving to a foreign country, the first several months are obviously very difficult. Especially if that country does not speak your native language. EVERYTHING is new and exciting and terrifying. You spend all of your time figuring out which markets to buy groceries at (and if you’re like me it’s three different ones), where to get your hair cut, how much time it takes to get to certain places, where the best restaurants are, if you should try new food based on the packaging photos alone...basically you’re just trying to survive. It’s a challenge but not necessarily a negative thing. Perhaps a slight inconvenience at most.

Fast forward to now. I’ve been here for 7 months and my life has fallen into a routine. I know when to wake up and how much time it will take me to get to each school, I know how much it costs to fill up my gas tank and where I can buy specialty foreign items like tortilla chips and popcorn. Things have gotten a bit more simple but by no means easy. Life is still a challenge but I don’t lose my mind every time I have to go to the grocery store now.

That was until this week...

It all started Monday morning when I woke up not really feeling like myself. I tend to dread the beginning of the school week because it means that I have to go to my base school (which I don’t exactly enjoy) and pretend to work for 8 hours instead of actually being in the classroom like I am at my visit school on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. This Monday was no different. I decided to begin the day by asking my supervisor (who 100% does NOT want to be my supervisor) to contact the Board of Education to let them know I have been excused from attending a last minute seminar as my friends are in the country. After I very calmly and simply explained this information, he proceeded to print out a schedule for said seminar, hand it to me with a curt ‘’there you go’’ and proceeded to go about his business. Mouth agape I’m shocked I didn’t blurt out ‘’you didn’t understand a word I just said did you??’’ even though I was screaming it in my head. Shocked beyond comprehension I turned to my computer and with an amazing amount of grace, decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. The rest of day went the same as every Monday usually goes. I’m used to being underutilized at my base school and while desk warming isn’t exactly what I would like to do, I normally don’t mind because it means I get to study Japanese, work on lessons for my visit school, surf the internet, etc...I keep my head down and try to blend into the desk chair. However, after I left school on this particular Monday I found myself hung up on the feeling of being mistreated and ignored. I tried to shake it but was unsuccessful as I took it with me to my visit school the next day.

Tuesday was まま ma ma (so-so). I had a few classes, one of which I taught solo, and I worked on decorations for my English Board. Although nothing monumental happened, I didn’t have my usual 元気 genki (energetic) attitude as I tried my best to hype the students up for the activities while also keeping them from tearing the school down. The day, as a whole, was pretty uneventful, kendo and karate practice included. (Even if I was a little less enthusiastic for them than I normally am.) I went to sleep that night with a heavy feeling in my chest and a nonchalant, indifferent attitude in my mind I now know is the beginning of an anxiety filled depression spiral. (Wheeeeee....)

I arrived at my base school on Wednesday morning buzzing with anxious energy feeling like I’m not even in my own body but instead floating just outside of it. I decided to try and put that energy to good use by updating the English Board which still had Christmas decorations on it. (January was filled with good intentions y’all...) I’m freaking elbows deep in switching everything out with pieces of tape on all my fingers when one of my JTE’s comes up to me and timidly says ‘‘Will you be joining the class today?’‘ In her defense I am technically supposed to attend her class. In my defense, I am literally used as a human tape recorder, spitting out a few vocabulary words and watching the students lose their mind when I pronounce Worcestershire sauce. My time would have been better spent changing the English Board...but I went to class and quietly stood by the stove instead.

Once class was finished, I knocked out the English Board and went to study at my desk. It is at this point that another JTE asks me if I had ‘’done my homework’’. Eyes glazing over I blankly stared back at him asked ‘’what homework?’’ ‘’The list of books you are supposed to write down for me to help improve my English.’’ he says. At this point I begin to very vaguely remember the conversation we had in regards to this topic. I believe I mentioned that I would make said list whenever I had the time...but I digress. I quickly assured him I would make the list and leave it for him under his computer for his perusal tomorrow when I am at my visit school. That fire put out I begin to work on studying kanji when I become acutely aware of how hard my supervisor is typing. He’s putting in grades and every time he smashes the ENTER button it sounds like he’s trying to push it through the entire keyboard. I do my best to ignore it when he finished and moves on to grading exams. As he circles each right answer I swear he’s doing his best to leave a circle shaped engraving on the desktop. It’s incredibly (and unnecessarily) aggressive. When lunch arrived I swear he slurped his miso soup louder and more annoying than usual. Granted, I’ve noticed all of these things before but today they were amplified. Every sound, every action made me grit my teeth in frustration. By the middle of the day I was crawling out of my skin anxious. I was in the throes of major cultural shock meltdown. It was at this moment that I remembered I should probably e-mail my Prefectural Supervisor to follow up on whether or not the supervisor at my base school had indeed contacted the BOE like I asked him to. Lo and behold as I was finishing my e-mail, one from my PA pops up in my inbox. I open it to discover that she’s letting me know that said base school supervisor has NOT contacted them regarding my excused absence from the seminar. Balling my hands into fists I try not to slam them on the desk in the worst fit of work rage I’ve had in a long time.

Instead, I begin messaging Jacob stream of consciousness thoughts:

“I want to go home. Home home. Back to America home. I want my mom. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want to drive my own car. I want to drive on the right side of the road in my own car. I want to see people who look like me. I want to see people who don’t look like me but who aren’t Japanese. I want BBQ. I want a disgusting fast food burger. I want AMERICAN food. I never want to eat another Japanese meal again. I never want to see rice or sushi or freaking noodles EVER again. I don’t want to hear Japanese. I don’t want to speak Japanese. I want to hear English. I want to speak English. I want to go to the grocery store and know where and what everything is because I can READ it. I want to go to the movie theatre and see a movie. IN. ENGLISH. I’m tired. I’m over it. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore.”

The entire time I’m going through this I’m doing my best not to lose my cool while sitting at my desk in the teacher’s room. It’s becoming increasingly more and more difficult. The teacher’s room is LOUD. Everyone is talking and laughing, calling to one another from across the room. To stop from screaming I bite the inside of my cheek so hard I draw blood. I’ve been messaging Jacob throughout the day and he’s aware of my current mental state. He’s doing the best he can while also working but I need air. I need quiet. I need to be alone. I grab my coat and race out the door.

I make the short walk to the コンビニ konbini (convenience store) across from my school where I buy a soda and some chocolate. I walk along the street toward the beach taking long swigs from my drink and angry munching my candy. I want nothing more than to be anywhere but here. I deep lungfuls of the crisp winter air. It’s chilly but the sun is out and the sky is clear. I lucked out weather wise. I do my best to clear my head and when I feel like I’ve been gone long enough to arouse suspicion, I head back to school. (Spoiler alert: No one noticed I was gone.) I’m not sure how but I manage to make it through the next 3 1/2 hours until it’s time for me to go home. I have to stop myself from sprinting out the door. As I walk to my car my friend, and fellow AET Natasha, messages to let me know that my request to attend Ichiba Elementary School on March 6th for their mini English Day has been denied because “I have classes”. (I will later find out that it’s Entrance Exams day and I more than likely don’t have to be at school period, much less in classes.) I get in my car and slam the door.

Jacob calls me on my way home as he walks to his bus stop. I sob like a baby. It’s the first time I’ve cried since October and it feels...good. I think I’d been bottling it up inside for a while now and having a gut wrenching, body shaking sob was soul cleansing. It wasn’t so much that I was sad, I was just so incredibly angry and frustrated that the only thing I could do was cry. I raged. I cussed. I shook my fists...and Jacob listened. Because he knew. The thing about culture shock is that it never truly goes away. It’s constantly there. But some days you’re better at ignoring it than you are others. And some days, heck, some weeks it all comes crashing down on you at once. Culture shock comes in waves. There are still days I want to pack up and go home. I miss my family and friends dearly. I miss the comforts of home and the things I’m used to. That being said, I’m beginning to create new comforts, make new memories. Mainly in part because of this guy:

A quick photo while celebrating 節分 setsubun (Spring/Bean Throwing Festival) at 吉田神社 Yoshida Shrine. SO. MUCH. GOOD. FESTIVAL. FOOD.

For those of you who creep my Instagram, you’ll have seen his handsome face a time or two before by now. For those of you who don’t, here he is. That mustachioed gentleman has pretty much been with me since Day 1. I met Jacob at the Kyoto Orientation Conference I attended 5 days after arriving in Japan. We became fast friends and as our friendship developed, so did deeper feelings. (He had them a lot earlier on than I did...for obvious reasons.) It wasn’t until our birthday (yes, we share the same birthday) that I realized “Oh sh*t. I think I’m in love with this guy.” Fast forward to four weeks later when I went down to visit him over the winter holiday and that little thought I had on our birthday had grown and solidified into a very concrete and very real feeling. I was head over heels 100% smitten. So before this post becomes another “doom and gloom” entry, I want you to know that not everything here in Japan has been bad. Not everything here in Japan has been terrible. Not everything here in Japan has been awful. (Contrary to the vast majority of my previous posts, I know.) Japan introduced me to the love of my life and showed me that a future here is possible...more than possible...a definite.

Yes, culture shock is sneaky and culture shock is rude. It creeps up on you when you least expect it and turns the things you enjoyed into the things you resent. However, with the right mindset, the right friends and the right support system you can kick culture shock in the teeth and go about your regularly scheduled program. I’m fortunate enough to have the best kind of support system in the man I love who listens (to me rant), helps (me calm down) and advises (me not to take violent action) as need be. Seriously though, call me the luckiest gal in the world.

I have so many more things to share concerning Jacob, our relationship and our future plans, but that is going to require a post all on its own. In the meantime, enjoy this photo of us being cute (and me with different bangs) while you wait.

Probably my favorite photo of us to date, here we are on 比叡山 Mt. Hiei after exploring 延暦寺 Enryakuji Temple with 琵琶湖 Lake Biwa and 滋賀県 Shiga Prefecture in the background.

Japan be tryin’ real hard to knock a sistah down, but I’m holding strong and always moving forward. Now, hand in hand with the one I love.

じゃあまた (See you!)

- レイチェル (Rachel)

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greentreerealm · 7 years ago

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The Chipotle Ordering Guide and Masterpost.

So. Throughout my 3 years working with this company, I’ve considered making this... and ya know what. I’m in a mood. And I’ve got the time. Let’s go.

A. Line Etiquette 1 - Get off your phone. Period.

2 - Use your words. We’re excellent point-guessers; but please, it’s much easier if you speak. Really. Because that millimeter difference on the other side of the glass means I’m gonna put the wrong thing in your food, and guess what, I’m not gonna be upset when you get mad about it.

3 - Do. Not. Put. Your. Nasty. Ass. Hands. Over. The. Glass.

4 - Politeness. There is literally zero reason to be in-a-huff, or rude, or nasty, or unreasonable to any of the crew members. Zero. If you’re there for lunch, then most, if not all of those people have been there as early as 7am or 8am. If you’re there for dinner, those folks probably only arrived around 3pm or 4pm but they are also going to be there until 11pm at least. Be patient.

5 - LISTEN. We literally have a basic “script” of the entire line that we are speaking to each and individual customer. So PAY. ATTENTION. When we ask if you want something, actually take the .0002 seconds to listen to what you’re being asked so we can make your order correctly. 97% of order mistakes/errors are because we ask if the customer wants something, they say one thing and mean something else. Or they’re not paying attention, chatting with the person next to them, on their phone, or just pointing. In all of those cases, the customer has 0 excuse for getting upset.

6 - Know what you want. - You’ve spent how long in line? Your order should be ready to go by the time you get to the front. **DISCLAIMER** If you’re new, or an infrequent customer, please let the crew know, so we know to take our time and even help explain the menu to you. We’re here to try and make your experience as smooth as possible, and get you in and out quickly and efficiently. And if the line stresses you out, order online. There’s a separate section further down to cover the questions/concerns with that process.

7 - Portions - Yes the standard portion sizes are the same for all entrees. Most items are offered at 4oz increments (exception being Queso and Vinaigrette). That’s the equivalent to one of those small plastic side-cups we have; or one average-sized spoonful. That’s it. Calm your sh*t. Anything can be double-portioned for free except for meat, queso, and guac. Technically, anything beyond two portions of any item will also cost a dollar for each additional serving. So for those of you who get 4 scoops of rice and 3 scoops of beans, be glad you’re not getting charged an additional $3.

8 - Non-Entree Orders - If you’re just getting a drink, or chips n’ guac, you don’t need to wait in line. By all means, just go right up to the front and hop in-between orders! You really only need to wait in line if you’re getting an entree.

B. The Tortilla Station. 1 - Meal Options - We have: Burritos, Bowls, Salads, Tacos, Quesadillas, Kids Meals, Nachos, and Quesarritos. 1a - If you’re planning on getting a metric-f*ckton of food, either get a bowl or a double-wrap burrito. Otherwise, the tiny tortillas we have are going to tear. If not once, then 2 or 3 times. 1b - Salads are a bowl with lettuce on the bottom. That lettuce is supposed to replace the rice and beans in a bowl. So don’t be surprised or upset when you order a salad and we then go straight to meats. Also, just fyi, it is the exact. same. lettuce. at the end of the line, it is literally just cut into a different shape. 1c - Tacos come in a set of three, unless you specify a different number. That said, if you get tacos, that means each one gets 1/3 of a portion. Not a full portion of something in each taco. 1d - Quesadillas come as either just cheese, or a meat and a cheese. Some stores MIGHT let you put one more item in it. Most stores enforce the policy that “anything more than just meat and cheese, and you will be charged for a full burrito.” Additionally, we all highly recommend getting any cold or wet sides, on. the side. Otherwise, it is too messy and could literally damage our equipment if that moisture leaks onto the press. Please, just ask for it on the side. That said, most quesadillas with come with 1 or 2 complementary sides, like sour cream or hot salsa. Though, this is not universal. 1e - Kid’s meals are designed for children; but, anyone can order them. If you want something small and less expensive, that’s totally fine. BUT You need to respect and understand the limitations of this menu item. Kid’s meals come in 2 forms: small quesadilla which comes with a side of rice, and a side of beans (or two salsa sides); or build-your-own tacos which comes with 2 taco shells and 3 sides of. the. entire. line. So if you wasted all 3 sides on rice, beans, and meat, that’s it. It’ll be a dollar extra if you want anything from the cold side. Typically, it’s good to balance a meat, and two sides from the salsa side. Or even all 3 from the salsa/cold side. But just know, the kid’s meals do not come with more than that. They are, in fact, for children. 1f - Nachos are a fairly new secret menu item. Basically it’s similar to the way a salad works. Instead of rice and beans, you start with a bag of chips on the bottom of the bowl. You will still be charged for a bag of chips with your order. They’re just at the bottom of the bowl instead of in a bag. And yes, you’re supposed to skip rice and beans with these as well. 1g - If there’s a line, don’t get a f*cking quesarrito.

2 - Rices - We have White Rice and Brown Rice. They. Are. Both. Cilantro. Lime. I do understand our menu panels are not super helpful with that bit. The difference is white rice is cooked with more oil and prepared with more salt. Our brown rice, is a bit healthier. Also, it is not dirty rice. It is not fried rice. It is not refried rice. It is not yellow rice. We literally just asked you “White or brown?”

3 - Beans - We have Black Beans and Pinto Beans. Not Red Beans (Because in different places, “red beans” can be applied to both types). Not refried beans. Not indian beans. Not yellow beans. And no, neither beans have any meat in them, they are both totally veg.

4 - Fajitas - Sauteed peppers and onions, seasoned with oregano and salt. Free with any entree. Please tell us you want them before we get to meat. And DEFINITELY before getting to salsa.

5 - The Meats - We have: Chicken, Steak, Barbacoa, Carnitas, and Sofritas. The Chorizo was discontinued after the release of Queso. You might find some stores still offering it, as they are trying to clear out what was stored at the distributors; though by now, it’s not likely. 5a - Say it with me slowly: Bar-Buh-Co-Uh. Not barbaCOLA, Not BarBOCA. The Barbacoa is shredded beef. The Carnitas is pulled/shredded pork. And our Sofritas is a brazed/shredded tofu. 5b - The order of least-spicy to most-spicy is as follows: Carnitas - No spice what-so-ever. Sofritas & Chicken - both have light-medium spice respectively. Barbacoa - pretty spicy. Steak - the spiciest meat, though still tamer than our hot salsa. 5c - Double meat costs extra. Corporate policy. And if that standard 4oz portion isn’t good enough for you, then don’t complain about the extra cost. Period. We literally don’t care if “another store gives you more.” Respect our policies, you are a guest. And no, contrary to popular belief, the customer is not always right. 5d - You can get half-n-half of two protein/meat options. But that means you will get 2oz of each. Not a full scoop. If you do this, you will get charged for the more expensive of the two choices. (ex: half-chicken, half-steak = price of a steak bowl).

6 - Queso - It’s new, it’s a bit weird. And quite honestly, when it was first released, they had not solidified the recipe. Stores were getting different variations of the same stuff on a semi-daily basis. Now though, things have seemed to calmed down and they’re sticking to something that actually works pretty well. It is a cheese sauce, with a sofritas base, and incorporates ingredients from our Medium Green and Hot tomatillo salsas. It does cost extra. All restaurants now have a little placard on their line explaining the new costs. Also, the extra costs are listed on a giant menu board above the line. (personally, I feel the queso tastes best in an entree rather than just on the side)

C. The Salsa Station 1 - Mild, Medium, or Hot? - If you say “no thanks” then we are moving on to Sour Cream and Cheese. So please pay attention. Really. Cannot stress this enough. 1a - Mild is the tomato salsa. Yes, it’s a salsa. Yes there are (usually) some jalepenos in it, so there is still a small kick. 1b - Medium green and the Red hot are the two tomatillo salsas. Consequently, if you ask for the “red salsa” we assume the red hot tomatillo salsa. Do not say “red” if you mean the mild. Yes, it’s technically ‘red’ in color; but semantics is literally everything here. 1c - We technically have 4 salsas. (FOUR?! WHAT?!) Yes. The. Corn. Is. A. Salsa. It has a medium spice; therefore, when we ask “Mild, Medium, or Hot?” it is encompassed in that ‘Medium’ category.

2 - Sour Cream or Cheese? - First of all, it’s sour cream. SOUR. CREAM. It is not: marshmallow, cream cheese, yogurt, vanilla, mayonnaise, nor cool whip. Like, where do you even think you are? 2b - It’s cheese. It’s just shredded cheese. It’s not noodles. We do not offer noodles at a Mexican Restaurant. 2c - As we do not have spoons for cheese, the standard portion size of 4oz is measured by a ‘three-finger pinch.’ If that’s not enough, please just ask; but understand, technically extra cheese beyond two portions should cost you an additional dollar.

3 - Guacamole / “Guac” - We no longer have to tell you it costs extra. This is because, similar to the Queso, there are now placards on the glass directly in front of you explaining the additional costs. So, the recurring theme: Pay. Attention. 3a - It comes in the same portion size as everything else. 4 ounces. If you want double, then you’re going to pay double. 3b - If you do not order a meat or sofritas, yes it is free. BUT If you order it on your entree and then again on the side, you will be charged for it. Also, while Sofritas is a vegan option, it is still one of our major proteins and does not constitute free guac. 3c - With the rollout of queso and our new “large” side-cups, you can technically order ‘large guac.’ You will then be charged for 2 sides of guac. BUT PLEASE TAKE NOTE: The “Large” side cup offers 6oz. A regular side cup is 4oz. Which means, it’s smarter to just order two sides of guac, and get a full 8oz instead of paying for the novelty of a large side-cup and only getting 6oz. 3d - In Chipotle’s effort to serve non-GMO, fresh, locally-sourced food, we often get cases of avocados that are either under- or over-ripe. When this happens, the guacamole no longer keeps that bright lime-green color. Often, especially with over-ripe avocados, the inside of the avocados are yellow, or even slightly brown. Even if only a few avocados out of a case are in this condition, in can discolor the entire batch of guac. That said, the color does not affect the taste; nor is it any less fresh than any other day. All guac is made fresh every single morning. The slight browning after it’s been mashed is called “oxidization” it��s the same process that happens to the inside of an apple if it’s exposed to the air for longer than 5 minutes.

4 - Lettuce - Many stores may not offer this to you directly. Why? Because that shredded lettuce is supposed to be saved for tacos only. That said, by all means, if you want it, order it. It also is served with a ‘three-finger-pinch’; so, don’t get upset if you’re not served an entire fistful of lettuce. And yes, all of it is cut fresh every single morning.

D. The Cashier (and Their Expo) 1 - Expediter “Expo” - Typically seen during the two peak hours of the day (12pm-1pm and 6pm-7pm), this person stands between salsa and the cashier. Their main responsibility is to communicate your order to the cashier and package your order with all its parts. Their typical spiel is: “Any chips or drinks with your order?” Or "Anything to drink or chips with that today?” Or something similar. THIS. IS. YOUR. MOMENT. Like this is your exact chance to say any and all sides you want with your order. Nothing peeves us more than “No, but can I get a water cup?” or “No thanks, can I get chips and salsa?” Like. WHAT TF DID I JUST ASK YOU?! So again, in our running theme: PAY. ATTENTION.

2 - Chips - All chips are made fresh every morning. They literally go stale after a full day, if they seem “stale” then they were just under-cooked. We cannot/do not serve stale chips. We now have two sizes: Regular (4oz) the same we’ve always had, and Large (6oz). We cannot serve kid’s chips unless it is for a kid’s meal. If some stores do this, they will typically add a $1 charge for the additional side of kid’s chips.

3 - Drinks - We have Fountain Sodas (Coke Products); bottled Nantucket Nectars, bottled water, and bottled Izze carbonated juices. Most stores offer the following flavors: Pomegranate Cherry, Apple, Pineapple Orange Banana, and Peach Orange Nantucket Nectars; and then Clementine, Blackberry, and Grapefruit Izze’s. Some stores may vary.

4 - Kid’s Meal Sides - All kid’s meals come with a chips or fruit. The kid’s chips are 2oz. The fruit is typically one of three things: clementine oranges, grapes, or a packet of blueberries. The fruit options change as they become available. Other locations may offer different fruit options. 4b - All kid’s meals also come with one of the following drinks: white milk, chocolate milk, apple juice, or small cup for soda. *THIS IS THE ONLY INSTANCE A WATER CUP MAY BE USED FOR SODA.*

5 - Gift Cards - Yes, we offer gift cards. They’re particularly popular during the holiday season. If you purchase them with a credit/debit card, please confirm that they were fully paid for and activated. Too often, customers in a hurry will walk away before their credit card cleared our computer; and if that transaction declines, they gift an inactive card with $0 balance. Leading to a bad time for everyone. So please, when you purchase gift cards with a credit/debit card, make sure it clears before you leave. This issue doesn’t happen if the cards are paid for with cash.

E. Dining Room Etiquette 1 - CLEAN. UP. AFTER. YOURSELF. - Pretty self-explanatory. But seriously people. Take your tabasco bottles back to the drink station. Throw your trash away. It’s common sense. Ya’ll people disgusting animals sometimes.

2 - Tabasco Bottles - These are not available for sale; and, they are most certainly not available for theft!! The reason you can’t seem to find any, is because people decide to pocket them. Daily. Really folks? You’re better than that.

3 - WATER CUPS - Most times, it’s grown-ass people trying to sneak this. Water cups are for water. only. If we catch you with soda, you can either throw it out and get water, or come up to the register and pay for a soda. If we catch you twice, you will be forced to either pay for a soda or leave the restaurant. If you are a constant repeat offender, we may reserve the right to not serve you. Yes. That’s right. At that point you are a thief; and, have lost the trust of the company. While it is a minor theft, it is stealing nonetheless. *P.s. you ain’t slick tryna get lemonade in that either. We see you.

4 - Children - If they are well-behaved, beautiful. Wonderful. Enjoy that tiny quesadilla and apple juice box! HOWEVER. If they are screaming, please either tame or remove them. Additionally, our dining room is NOT a jungle-gym. Please keep your children from running all over the place, from climbing onto other guests’ chairs, and if-applicable, from climbing on the window ledges and getting their tiny sticky handprints all over our windows. Thank you.

F. Ordering Online or Via Mobile App 1 - Second Make-Line - Typically, for the lunch and dinner rushes, a separate make-line is opened up for take-out orders only. Though, in the early morning, midday, and after 8pm, this line is closed.

2 - Punctuality - Typically, orders are began roughly 15 minutes before their scheduled pickup time. That way, longer orders can be completed in time for their scheduled pickup time. That said, if you place an order at noon for a 12:15 pickup time, do not arrive at 12:05. Your order will not be ready. Consequently, do not pick it up at 12:45. Your order will be cold. In both situations, the customer does not have the right to complain.

3 - Extras - Our online and mobile app does fairly well to include extras, half-portions, and any sides for your order. However, if there is something you want included in the order that isn’t listed, you can dedicate a portion of the “name” on the ticket to your extra note. Also, please make sure to include everything in your order so it can be ready. It is always a bit perturbing to make additional sides for orders that should already be completed and ready to hand out.

4 - Payment - We do offer two options for payment. The more common option is to pre-pay via credit or debit card. There is a second option, to ‘pay-at-pickup’ however; this option is only available if you create an account on the website. So, if you don’t want to be forced to pre-pay with a card, take the extra 2 seconds to make a quick account. It is worth the hassle.

5 - Phone Orders - We can no longer accept orders over the phone. We no longer receive the fax forms or other sheets to take orders over the phone. Additionally, it wastes too much of an employee’s time to answer the phone, find a spare sheet of paper and writing utensil, and sit down to listen to you scramble over yourself trying to place an order of questionable coherency. This is a fast-paced restaurant, and that person probably has 6 other online orders to make. Place it through the app or website like everyone else. And if you say ‘but i’m driving’ get off your phone. Like seriously.

6 - Ordering for Multiple People - Do not place an online order for more than 4-6 people. Really. The ticket that prints out is ridiculous and orders can very easily fall prey to being incorrectly prepared. Additionally, if your order is deemed unreasonably long (Typically 20 or more orders) the restaurant has the right to call you and deny the order. At that point, it is considered a catering order and requires 24-hr notice.

G. Catering Yes, we do it. It requires 24-hr notice. Do not call the store to coordinate it. Call 1.800.Chipotle and they will sort you out. (Also, yes, we know the ‘E’ in Chipotle is an extra digit, it’s no big deal). And please, let us handle everything. There is literally zero need to try and micro-manage your order. Furthermore, make sure that whoever is picking up the order has a large enough vehicle for transportation. The worst is when someone arrives in a 2-door, no-trunk, smartcar-lookin-thing to pick up a catering for 60 people.

So that’s it. Well... most of it anyway. I’m sure there’s more minutia that I didn’t cover; but, quite honestly, that’s just about everything. To my fellow chipotle crew, I salute you. And to all the customers: regulars, newbies, young and old, please, make all our lives easier and pay attention; be kind; and have a great day.

#Chipotle #Chipotle mexican grill #burrito #burrito bowl #bowl #rice #beans #meat #chicken #steak #cheese #guac #lettuce #salsa #tacos #queso #quesarrito #Chipotle crew #Chipotle managers

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canaryatlaw · 6 years ago

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aight, let’s get going. today was pretty good. I was like slightly awake when my alarm went off at 11 but didn’t really want to get up yet, so I turned it off but stayed in bed a bit longer, I ended up getting out of bed around 11:30 or so. I had some breakfast and looked at some stuff for a while before getting some work done. I’m about done with the statement of facts, it’s just tricky because you’re not supposed to include any facts that you’re not going to use in your argument, but I haven’t written the argument yet, so I’m not sure what facts are gonna end up used and what won’t, so I very well might be cutting a solid portion of what I wrote today, but that’s how it goes I guess. I was also doing laundry so I was running up and down the stairs to do three loads of that done because I’m highkey lazy and let my laundry pile up until I really can’t wait any longer, lol. I worked until 6 or so at which point I put actual clothes on and then ripped apart my closet trying to find a pair of sandals, because we were gonna get pedicures so we needed sandals of course, I thankfully found a pair but they’re not very comfortable so I need to get some new ones, which I was already planning on doing. Around 6:30 I met up with Jess at the nail place and we got mani/pedis since it’s actually getting warm out now we needed the beginning of summer pedicure so your feet actually look decent for the summer where you’re wearing sandals a lot. Both my fingernails and toenails are currently like neon pink, which I appreciate very much. After we finished up there we walked to the Mexican place on main street because we’d been talking about getting tacos forever now and deemed tonight to be the best time to get them, though I technically have to get fajitas because the tacos don’t agree with my acid reflux, but I only ever use the meat and cheese in a tortilla so it’s basically a taco lol. I actually asked for a side of shredded cheese because it doesn’t normally come with it and that’s boring, so. and we got the appetizer that’s just like gooey cheese and melted butter served with tortillas and it’s basically the best thing ever, and of course we needed it since yesterday was national cheese day and everything (not like we didn’t adequately celebrate then, but still). So dinner was good. I returned to my apartment afterwards and ended up folding my laundry for a while since it was all over my bed, and then shoved it all into my dresser. My pants drawer is super stuffed at the moment because I keep adding pairs of shorts to it without taking anything else out lol. I need to switch over to actual summer clothes at some point soon, the weather’s just been so finicky lately it’s hard to tell if we’re actually at a point where tank tops and shorts are gonna be appropriate daily wear. Sigh. Maybe I’ll like switch half of it over and then go from there. After I put all the laundry away I showered and started getting ready for bed, and now I am here. It’s just past 1:30 and I would like to get at least like, 5-6 hours of work in tomorrow hopefully, before I have the chiropractor at 5 and then it’s the first night of soccer which I’m very excited/slightly nervous about, so on that note I will end this here. Goodnight dearies. Sweet dreams.

#daily journal #June 2019 #Jess tag

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suckitsurveys · 8 years ago

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What is your significant other or best friend’s ring tone? Mark’s ring tone right now is the Stranger Things theme song. Where do you keep your hair brush? On a little vanity I have in our room. Which pair of shoes have you owned the longest? Hmm, probably a pair of converse from 7th or 8th grade. When's the last time you were sick at the same time as someone else? A few months ago literally everyone at my job was sick at the same time, including me.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? I’m eating a whole grain English muffin with fake butter and honey on it, with a side of strawberries and pineapple chunks How many contacts are in your phone? 80. How many do you actually interact with? I’d say like...10, maybe? Last time you were in pain? My gums are kinda bothering me. What color was the last straw you drank out of? Green. Do you own a Jean jacket? I do. Two, actually, but one doesn’t fit that great. Trying to get back into it though! What color is your mom's hair? It was blondish brown. Is that also your hair color? Probably. Plans for the day? Finish this survey, maaaybe do another one, go to the gym for an hour or so, go to the dollar store and Michael’s so we can finish our spice rack project, finish said spice rack project, hopefully get our buffet table from my grandma’s garage, and organize the kitchen once that is in here. Have you tired the new caramel M&Ms? I HAVE THEY ARE SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Do you watch any daily vloggers on YouTube? Who? I watch Steps to Wander and Jesssfam most often. Those are the only “daily” ones I watch. On a scale of 1 to 10 how tired are you right now? I’d say a 4. I just woke up about half an hour ago and I’m feeling pretty awake right now. Next trip/vacation/time you’re going out of town? I technically go “out of town” every day for work, but that is boring and doesn’t count so the next trip I’m taking is to Pittsburgh with my dad next month! Any annoying neighbors? Right now someone is moving in upstairs so it’s SUPER annoying, but I’m sure other than that they are lovely people. We’ll see. What room of your house do you usually do your surveys in? I usually do them at work, oops. But right now I am doing this one in my living room. What do you put on your tacos? Totally depends on the taco, dude. If I’m making a super Americanized taco, it’s ground turkey (or beef) in a hard shell with lettuce, onions, tomatoes, cheese, sour cream, and sauce. Same with Taco Bell. Okay now before Ioose all my street cred, I know those aren’t actual tacos, which is why I said Americanized. Sometimes ya just need a crappy taco in your life. ANYWAY, if I am getting one from a Mexican place, I’ll take whatever they put on it, which again depends on the place. My favorite tacos are in corn tortillas with chicken, onions, cilantro, and a little bit of sauce. The “authentic” way. What is your favorite stuffed animal and where did you get it? Hmm. It’s a panda but instead of black and white it’s purple and white. I got him at the Memphis Zoo a few years ago. Last thing you hung up on your wall? A “W” flag in our bedroom above the bed. Do you have a full length mirror? Not yet! We need one so bad. Is it currently raining? It is! I wouldn’t mind it if it were warmer out though. Supposed to be 65 today. It needs to be over 70 every day alreadyyyy. Where were you going the last time you walked through door way? Into the living room from the bedroom. Where did you get the last survey you took? Besides this one? I made this one! Lol. Before that it was probably tumblr somewhere.

#surveys #i made this!

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southernkittygal · 8 years ago

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Chapter One | The Cameraman

Yay my first woy fic! I’ll put this up on Ao3 later. It’s Andy/Westley and Andy/Todd, Safe for Work. Starts out before Eye on the Skullship/before the watchdogs and Hater meet Wander.

There is canonically a watchdog named Todd, technically, on the list of watchdogs in the episode The Gift. I’m just giving him some story/character, kinda.

Enjoy the read!

Deep inside the skullship, Andy the watchdog sat cross-legged in an office chair, eye resting in a hand while the other hand lazily flicked through cameras.

“Sector G, hallway four; all clear.”

His job was simple- keep an eye on the cameras and watch out for intruders, not that the ship ever had any these days. Despite having already conquered several planets and the fact that word was steadily spreading of the cloaked skeleton, Lord Hater was still a fairly new villain. He wasn’t quite too much of a threat to other world conquerers yet. He was steadily rising on the leaderboard, but he wasn’t high enough to be a worry, which made Andy’s job all the more easier.

Easier because there was nothing to worry about, but harder because there was nothing to worry about.

In light of this, his eye began to droop, legs having fallen fast asleep long ago in the cushioned chair. He sighed, staring at the camera feed playing with a lazy gaze. His mind cleared, thoughtless, and the sound of a camera click was far beyond comprehension.

He startled when someone gently shook his arm, “Andy?”

“Sweet Grop!” He grabbed at his heart, looking up with a frown, “Todd, you scared me!”

“I’ve been standing here for the past few minutes, Andy…” The taller watchdog’s eye was creased with worry, “You were staring at the screens… I think you were sleeping with your eye open again.”

Andy glanced at the time and, indeed, a few hours had passed. He rubbed at his eye, feeling woozy as he sighed. “What’re you doing here?”

“I brought coffee.”

Andy’s heavy mind finally took notice of the cup holder in Todd’s hands, expression softening, “Oh… I see.”

He let himself smile as he took a seat near Andy, camera around his neck tilting lopsided, “It’s okay, I know how you get tired. Is Mike not in tonight?”

“No, I told him I’d cover for him.”

“Oh.”

He tipped his head back for a long drink of the coffee, iced and bitterly dark, exactly how he liked it. It made his skin prickle with goosebumps. He slumped in his chair, gleaming, “Thanks.”

“Sure thing.”

They sat in content silence a while, each sipping their own preferred beverage, watching the camera feeds before them. Just when Andy was starting to feel a growing pressure to break the silence, Todd did so for him. “When’s the last time you had some time off? Had a break?”

Andy shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t really mind. I mean, it gets boring but there’s not much to do outside of here.” He sipped his coffee. It tasted off.

“Why don’t you take tomorrow off? Rest up, get out there. Make some friends, eat some food, get away from surveillance.”

“Ahh, I don’t know…” He leaned back in his chair with a creak. All he typically did when he had free time was sleep. “I’m not really sure what I’d do with a whole day. …Is this decaf?”

Todd dodged the question. “Well… We could spend it together. I could talk to Mike about splitting our shifts and then you and me could have the afternoon together.”

Andy stared up at the camera screens, watchdogs occasionally bumping into each other and walking the halls with small, hulking bigfoot postures. Todd’s anti-flash camera clicked quietly as he caught a picture. “Alright, sure.”

“Okay. Then why don’t you go ahead and head to bed? Or at least get something to eat.”

“You’re a total mom sometimes, you know that?” They shared in a smile as he got up, “Thanks for the coffee. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He gave a nod as Andy went out. The hallways were quiet at this point, most watchdogs having turned in to sleep for the night. Andy took a deep, smooth breath and let it out slowly, smiling a little at all the empty space around him.

The peace flooded from the hallways into the cafeteria, only one other watchdog in there, not including the janitor. Andy let himself into the kitchen, putting a TV dinner in the microwave. Technically, watchdogs weren’t supposed to go back here, but Andy had gotten to know the cook fairly well. So long as he paid for the small meal later, no one cared. Andy threw away his trash, grabbing a water bottle and fork before the microwave dinged.

Sitting in the back corner of the cafeteria, he looked down at the wimpy meal in front of him, and sighed as he took a bite. He tried keeping his gaze downward, not wanting to catch the attention of the only other two people in the room.

He was successful until he paused for a drink of water, meeting eyes with a short watchdog with a large, doleful eye sitting across the cafeteria. The water bottle crackled into the impending awkward quiet settling in, and Andy slowly brought it down, feeling himself color faintly.

The watchdog waved.

Andy gave a small wave back.

The watchdog smiled.

Andy looked away and screwed the lid back on his water quietly.

Inside he could feel a bundle of moving, disturbed squiggles in the pit of his chest. It made it hard to want to eat, especially knowing someone was watching him now. He looked back down, holding the fork firmly in a shaky hand.

He jumped at the sudden voice cutting through the silence, “Can I sit with you?”

One shy gaze met a steady, soft one, and Andy was surprised at how the other stood almost level to the table.

At his nod, he seated himself, “It’s always nicer to have company than be alone, I think. I’m Westley, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You too… I’m Andy.”

“I don’t think I’ve really seen you around here before.”

“I work in surveillance.”

“Ohh, that’s why you’re up so late. What shift do you work?”

“I-uhm. I just. Work. I don’t really have a particular- I mean, I was assigned to first shift but I really just sort of take on most hours…” He looked down at his saggy enchilada, trying to cut it into sections with his fork. “What do you work?”

“I work for Lord Hater.” When Andy looked at him Westley elaborated, “I mean, I’m just part of a backup team, really, but when he goes out to do his thing I’m one of the ones there on the ground with him.”

“Wow, that… Must actually be really interesting. I mean, do you actually work close to him? Or do you get to talk with him often?”

Westley flushed a bit, “Oh, I wish! But no, I see more of the Commander than I do of Lord Hater. Commander Peepers suggests plans and tactics, and if Lord Hater likes them then we carry them out. Depending on how many soldiers the plan needs, I might or might not be there. I’m usually only there if a lot of people are needed. It doesn’t sound too grand but I think it’s really swell. When they need soldiers most, I’m one of the watchdogs that gets to be there backing them up.”

At this point Andy had rested his eye on his hand, hanging on to every word as Westley rambled a bit, expressions constantly changing but eye glimmering almost the entire time. “…But listen to me, going on about myself. Your job is way more important than mine is!”

“What? Oh, no, not really. It’s boring, really. I just sit in a chair and stare at computer screens.”

“Yeah, but if anyone comes on the ship, you’re the first person who sees. You’re the first person who contacts everyone and gets people to stop them. Without you, we would never be prepared for events like that.”

Andy blinked at him. “There’s never anyone on the ship though.”

“And that’s why you’re so important. Because when there is, you’ll know.”

Westley smiled at him, and Andy looked down to pick at his rubbery tortilla with his fork. Andy had never really thought about his job as being that important. He knew that intruders could be a big deal, but honestly his job just felt like that; a job. Work. He didn’t do much from his room deep in the ship, mainly just spun in his chair and flipped through different camera feeds.

But Westley put his job in a bigger picture, and it made an odd feeling stir inside. Not quite like his usual anxiety, but more like butterflies.

Westley stood, picking up his things, “Well, I’ll let you finish eating. Thanks for letting me talk with you” “Um, yeah…” “Have a nice night!” He waved as he headed out, leaving Andy’s stomach fluttering and mind buzzing.

Westley was really something.

Andy had never seen someone so positive before. He seemed to find a bright side in everything, and took his peers behavior with stride. Sarcastic jabs, belittling tones, even some occasional physical abuse; Westley looked past it all. He recognized when people wanted him to leave them alone, but still kept his shining outlook on everything.

At times he seemed slightly shaken, but he would steady himself quickly, right back to beaming.

They met more often, usually for breakfast. Andy would have his coffee, Westley his tea, and they would talk about the simplest things. Things Andy always had taken for granted. The ship they lived on - what were all the parts of it? What hadn’t they seen or explored? Who worked in the little areas people passed? What were all the small jobs out there, who did them, how did they contribute? The meals they ate, who made them, what consideration went into their pickings? What was most popular with who? And why did they never celebrate each other’s birthdays? They, all of the watchdogs, worked together constantly, and yet they seemed to hardly know each other.

Wonder.

That’s what it was. Westley absolutely brimmed and positively gleamed with wonder. One glance at him and you could tell, see the usually indescribable quality in his eye.

And the more time they spent together, the more it began to rub off onto Andy.

Andy found himself learning his peers names and preferences as best he could, stopping to occasionally talk to watchdogs he passed. Todd snapped a picture of Andy at work one day smiling, noting aloud, “You’ve changed.”

When he looked at him, he continued, “I haven’t seen you this happy since the first time you snorted milk out of your eye.”

Andy laughed, “Oh yeah, I remember that. Gosh, that was forever ago, and right in front of Becky Olsen too.” He tsked at himself.

“I’m serious, Andy. What’s going on with you? I mean… I’m glad to see you happy but… It’s starting to become sort of weird.”

He tilted his head at him, “What do you mean? I get being a bit more happy than usual, but weird how?”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it.” Todd rubbed at an arm, looking away briefly. Andy turned in his chair to face him more directly, eye creasing with a bit of worry at how upset his friend looked. “I heard you’ve been talking to Westley a lot more.”

Andy lit up a bit, “Yeah, he’s really sweet. You should meet him sometime, you guys would love each other.”

“Mm. …Uh, Andy. I just… Worry, I guess. I don’t know. You’ve been spending a lot of time with him and I just don’t want him sort of rubbing off on you too much. I’ve heard he can be really good. Like not good, but good-good, as in non-bad good.”

Andy’s expression melted. Becoming good-good had been a large worry of some watchdogs recently due to interactions with a new orange fellow by the name of Wander. Not all, but many were wary of him. There were rumors saying he was a devious, cunning fox, with orange fur and even possibly hiding fox ears under his hat. Other rumors said he had it out for Hater, strategically planning to turn him good, and some watchdogs believed perhaps he was just really naive and painfully kind. No matter, he was becoming a thorn in Lord Hater’s side, and watchdogs feared Wander for his unpredictability.

Wander was causing some watchdogs to even question their very morality, about where they stood in the world of good and bad. These watchdogs existed, but whomever was in such a dilemma remained unknown. They didn’t know what would happen if their higher ups knew.

No one had ever left the watchdog army. At least, no one had knowingly done so.

“Aw, Toddy... It’s alright. You don’t have to worry about anything. Westley works closer to Lord Hater than anyone else I know! He’s definitely not becoming good-good or anything like that! You can be evil and still be an optimist, I think, so long as your intentions stay evil.”

Todd only quietly rubbed at his arm, not looking at Andy. So Andy got up, pulling him into a tight hug, “Hey, it’s all okay. Okay? Just because I’m becoming a bit more positive than usual doesn’t mean anything good, okay?”

He was stiff into the hug for a long time, until finally sighing out and hugging back. “Okay.”

Andy smiled at him, pulling back to sit again. “So… I’ve been thinking. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other.”

At Todd’s incredulous look he continued, “I mean, not just you and me, but all of us, everyone. I mean, I haven’t even started socializing until recently!” He chuckled a bit. “We all live on this ship, and yet some of us know nothing about the ship or people on it. I mean, at least, I don’t really know anything about it, or anything about anyone. Grop, we hardly know anything about Lord Hater! So… What if we made a little show?”

“A show?”

“A little TV show, just for airing on the ship. For watchdogs, about watchdogs, by watchdogs. Something simple.”

Todd hummed. “It sounds stupid. But the more I think about it, the more I like it.”

“I know right? I mean, I’ve had the idea for a while but its really been bugging me now. We could do little interviews with watchdogs, and little facts about them. Have you realized that no one ever celebrates birthdays? We have literally no holidays on this ship.”

“I… Yeah, but it’s always been like that.” Todd leaned back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the counter, careful not to hit any buttons.

“Mn, yeah, but maybe it shouldn’t be like that.” Andy was smiling, watching Todd intently, “Think about it. It’d be nice to do, even if just for ourselves as a little hobby.”

“Ahh, I don’t know.” Todd rolled his eye over to look at Andy, “How would we do it?”

“Well… And if you don’t like this let me know, but I was just thinking that I could host the show, ask the questions and do interviews and then you could work the camera.” He was quick to add, “And I just say I could host because I’d be willing to do it during my work shift, and you’re always taking pictures and stuff anyway, so that way your pay isn’t getting cut.”

He was making a face, “I don’t mind that, I wouldn’t want to be the host. But, Andy, I don’t do filming. I do photography. They’re- They’re totally different!”

“But is it, really?”

“Yes! You have to consider angles, and lighting, and… Well, yeah I guess its not totally different but still. And what about your work and pay? That’s not fair to you.” Andy shrugged, “I don’t mind. Nothing ever happens in the morning shift anyway.” He grinned, seeing Todd trying to fight his own smile, still rolling the idea around in his head.

“Ah, flarp it, why not.”

Andy jumped in place once with an excited holler, chair rolling him some, “Yes!”

“What should we call it?”

Andy hummed, “I don’ know… It has to be good.”

Silence fell over them, aside from the creeks of chairs as Andy began to spin in place, thinking. Todd was more reserved, closing his eye and a hand playing with the edge of his glove.

“How about The Skullship’s Eye?”

Todd shook his head, “It’s… I almost like it but it’s kind of weird. You can’t exactly tell what it is right off the bat.”

“Yeah, I see how it could be confusing…” Andy began spinning again, Todd starting to mutter to himself different terms and names they could possibly use.

“How about the Eye on the Skullship?” Andy slowed his spinning as he suggested the title. He wriggled to face Todd, who was mulling it over before nodding, “Yeah, I like that. We can always change it later if we think of something better.”

Andy nodded in agreement, smiling. “The Eye On The Skullship it is.”

#wander over yonder #woy #savewoy #save woy #save wander over yonder #andy the watchdog #eye on the skullship #westley #westley the watchdog #andy #todd #todd the watchdog #the little guy #fanfic

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