#technically ‘on the clock’ began to be used around the time Ray made the deal

[another-whump-sideblog]

Star

Orchard has company often, and she likes to show off her human servant, bragging about what a great deal she got.

Today, there is just one other faery. One with blue hair and eyes that change color every time they blink, and who smells of something Ray has never smelled before. Ray’s never been great with faces, but they think the faery’s facial features keep changing ever so slightly. Ray also can’t tell if the faery is a boy or a girl.

Ray serves them tea, respectfully avoiding eye contact.

“Who’s this?” The faery asks.

“A human I made a deal with. My servant.” Orchard says smugly.

“Ah. And what’s your name, human?”

Ray looks up. Orchard’s friends don’t usually talk to them. “I- Orchard calls me Servant. And what should I call you?”

“You can call me Star. And I’m not going to call you Servant. What about… Anne? That’s a human name, right? Can I call you Anne?”

“You can call me whatever you like.” Ray glances at Orchard, waiting to be told to leave and do some other chore. Orchard doesn’t seem to notice. All of her attention is on watching Star.

“So serious. Geez, what’d you do to them?”

“The human was like that before we made the deal. There are more important things to discuss. Servant, make yourself useful elsewhere.”

Orchard still won’t look away from Star. Ray quietly backs out of the room. If they’re lucky, they can find something to do that will make it look like they worked the whole time, while actually giving them a break.

—

The next time Star shows up, it’s for a big party. Star is the only person who has spoken to Ray with anything but disdain, so they find themself gravitating towards them. They still serve the other guests, of course. They just tend to end up closer to Star when they’re walking around, waiting to be asked to do something.

Ray has to walk a very thin line, showing that they care about the guests’ comfort while also not going beyond normal politeness, as fae will consider that an attempt to put them in debt. It’s exhausting.

“Oh dear, what happened to your poor hands?” Star has finally taken an interest in Ray again and approached them.

“I… mustn’t speak badly of Orchard.”

“Of course, I would never want to jeopardize your position here. I’m sure Orchard’s definition of a proper servant is very strict, and it wouldn’t be beyond her to use a tiny mistake on your end as an excuse to call off the deal. What will you lose if you break the deal, anyway?”

“I shouldn’t say.” Ray can’t think of why sharing the truth would be dangerous off the top of their head, but they’ve learned not to give any information to the fae that isn’t strictly necessary.

“Ah. I see.”

Someone calls for Ray across the room, reminding them they should not be so focused on just one guest.

“I must assist another guest.”

“Right, you’re on the clock. It was nice talking to you, Anne.”

Ray assumes that ‘on the clock’ is some kind of faery saying and puts the strange conversation out of their mind.

—

“I must confess, Anne, I don’t like the way Orchard treats you.”

Star came for some kind or meeting in a room that Ray wasn’t allowed to even get close to, but they’ve somehow ended up talking to Ray, halfway across Orchard’s home. Ray is sure they aren’t supposed to be here, but they know better than to question faeries.

“I am treated well. I am well fed and I have my own living quarters, which are comfortable.” Ray shouldn’t have shared that. Star doesn’t need that information, and they don’t think Star would tell on them for not complimenting Orchard. They’re off their game today.

“Okay, but you’re also, like, ten years old, and she burned your hands.

“I am not ten years old. The burns were usually accidental.” They really should just find a polite way to ask Star to leave them alone, but… they like talking to them.

That’s the problem. Ray has no issue with being evasive with the other faeries, but they don’t want Star to get bored and leave. They want to talk to the only faery who treats them like a person for a bit longer.

“‘Usually accidental?’ So she hurts you on purpose sometimes?”

“I don’t want to discuss this.”

“What do you want to discuss?”

Ray doesn’t want them to leave. They find a way to politely ask what they’ve been wondering for a while. “Should I call you sir, or ma’am?”

Star smiles. “Just call me Star.”

This is not the answer Ray was looking for. “Should I call you he, or she?”

“They.”

Ray doesn’t understand.

“You look confused.” Ray knows they don’t. They have been told by many, many people that their face doesn’t show their emotions correctly.

“I’m not a man or a woman. I’m not multiple people either, but your language’s gender neutral pronoun is also it’s plural pronoun, and you wouldn’t be able to pronounce the pronoun I use in my language.”

“Oh…” Ray feels destabilized in a way they haven’t since they first started serving Orchard. Also, they’re not positive what a pronoun is, though they can guess from context clues. “I didn’t even know you could be not a man or a woman. Is that a fae thing?”

“No, plenty of species have people like me.”

“How do you- how did you know you weren’t a man or a woman?”

Star laughs. Their laugh sounds close enough to someone suffocating to put Ray on edge, but Star seems fine. “It felt wrong to be called a man or a woman. I knew that wasn’t me.”

This is even more confusing to Ray, because neither binary gender has ever felt right to them either, but they’re sure they’re not like Star. Right?

“Hey, can I ask you one question? Then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“You can. I might not answer, though.”

“What year is it?”

Why would Star ask that? “Well, I know time flows differently here, so it’s probably been a few years, and me and Orchard made the deal in 1902, so probably around 1905 or so? I won’t be done with my debt for 60 or 70 years if everything goes right.”

Ray doesn’t understand the face Star is making. “I best get going, then. The others will wonder where I went.”

They hurry back in the direction they came from, leaving Ray very confused.

—

“Anne? Come here.”

It’s just Orchard and Star today, but Orchard left the room to do… something.

“Does Orchard let you care for the burns she gives you? Does she heal them or give you human first aid?”

“…No.”

“That’s what I thought. I got you something.”

Star holds out a small bottle of aloe vera gel. Ray goes to take it but…

“I would be in your debt.”

Star’s pupils change shape, narrowing to slits. They look distinctly… predatory. “Oh, of course. I’m sure you don’t want to be in anyone else’s debt. I’ll just give you an easy task, one you can do quickly, so you won’t be in my debt for long.”

“…you could thank me for giving you tea. Then you’d be in my debt for that and I’d be in your debt for taking the gel, and they’d cancel out.”

Star’s smile is slightly wider than a human’s could be. “I could, I definitely could. But that wouldn’t benefit me, would it?”

Ray knows they should feel upset. Star’s kindness is dependent on it benefiting them. Star doesn’t actually care about Ray’s well-being.

Instead of feeling upset, though, they feel… powerful. They’ve been given a choice, for the first time in a while. And Star has given them a lot of valuable information just by asking for a favor.

“What could I possibly do that would benefit you?”

“I’m sure you overhear a lot of stuff, working for Orchard. I just want to have all the information I can.”

Orchard charges into the room. Ray didn’t hear her coming, they were so focused on Star’s offer.

“Think about it.” Star says.

“Think about what? What are you two talking about?”

Star turns their attention to Orchard. “We were discussing human stuff. Did you know-“

“Ugh, gross. I didn’t invite you here to discuss humans. Servant, leave us.”

Ray does, feeling slightly giddy. Whatever they choose, it will be their choice, and the power that gives them is intoxicating.

—

The next time Ray sees Star, they don’t get a chance to speak. Ray thought that might happen. They slip Star a note.

Most information that would be interesting to you is spoken in faery languages. I would need to understand those to get you information. I also need you to understand that if Orchard caught me, she would consider my insubordination a breaking of the deal, and I would lose something I cannot afford to lose. I do not accept the deal.

Ray can’t just say “I don’t trust you and I’m not accepting the deal.” Star would get bored of them, and they’ve come to rely on the short bursts of positive attention. Ray needs to make sure Star always thinks they’re one convincing argument away from getting what they want, so they don’t decide to try and find someone else to provide information.

—

“Anne.”

Ray wakes up suddenly, heart pounding. Star stands above them.

“I understand that the favor I asked for will mean a lot of risk on your part. I’m willing to negotiate. What would make this worth your while?”

Ray can’t believe what they’re hearing. They get to negotiate?

They shouldn’t just negotiate for something they want, though. They should pick something that would require Star a lot of time, so that they continue talking to Ray.

“…It would be worth it if you could check on my sister for me, and tell me how she’s doing. And give me the aloe vera.”

“Where is your sister?”

“I don’t know. I don’t even know how long it’s been since I last saw her.”

“What does she look like? What’s her name?”

“I’m not telling you her name. She looks very similar to me.”

“Mm. Fine. I’ll find her. Shouldn’t be too hard, with magic. Then you’ll help me?”

“I still don’t understand faery languages.”

“Right! I got you something.” Star hands them a small seashell. “Put that in your ear, and you’ll be able to understand any language. And you can accept it now, because you’ve agreed to our deal already, right? I just need to find your sister before you start your end of the deal.”

Ray shakes their head and tries to give the seashell back. When Star doesn’t take it, Ray drops it. “I have no use for this until it’s my turn to fulfill my end of the bargain. Until then, it’s just a liability. What happens if Orchard sees it?”

Star’s eye twitches. “Of course. Well, I’ll be back when I find your sister.”

Star picks up the seashell and jumps out the window. Ray goes back to sleep.

—

The next time Star visits Orchard is much, much later. They slip Ray a note, this time.

I checked on your sister. I will tell you how she is and give you the aloe vera and hearing device if you agree to help me out.

Ray isn’t sure what to do. They can’t get into debt, but they also can’t lose the only person who’s nice to them. They avoid Star as they mull it over.

—

When Star stormed into the house, Ray was worried they were mad at them. But Star doesn’t seem to notice Ray. They went straight to Orchard and started yelling, switching back and forth between english and a faery language.

Ray listens from only a few feet a way, completely ignored by the faeries, trying to figure out what’s going on. They catch something about “sabotage” and “this isn’t what we discussed” and “do you think you can get away with crossing me? I will make your life a living hell!”

Star storms out as quickly as they came in, but not before shaking Ray’s life one last time. “It’s 2015. Orchard took your sister into the fae realm so she could use you as a servant for longer.”

Star slams the door on their way out. Orchard glares at Ray. “This doesn’t change anything. If you stop serving me, if you break the deal, your sister will die.”

Star has given Ray another choice. They look at Orchard, look at the door, look at Orchard. It’s their choice.

Orchard tricked them. Star only revealed the truth to get back at Orchard, but… it’s more than Orchard ever did.

Ray sprints out the front door, calling for Star. “Where is my sister? Where did Orchard take her? Star!”

But Star is already gone.

[chiseler]

ONCE UPON A TIME AT THE DRIVE-IN: The Testament of Al Adamson

It was 50 years ago last year that the cheap and peculiarly patchwork films of Al Adamson first began to assert themselves on drive-in and grindhouse screens across America. Initially recognized for his horror films (Blood of Dracula’s Castle, Horror of the Blood Monsters, Brain of Blood, and especially Dracula vs. Frankenstein), he went on to add biker, action, blaxploitation, sexploitation, and even family fare to his rickety roster before retiring from his director’s chair sometime in the 1980s and vanishing into private life. The rise of Adamson’s unpretentious output happened to coincide with the decline of the Hollywood studio system as well as such old guard avatars as American International Pictures, Britain’s Hammer Films and Amicus Productions, whose imprints always guaranteed a certain level of production value and class. Adamson’s work was something of a throwback to the gore films of Herschell Gordon Lewis (Blood Feast, Two Thousand Maniacs!), but whereas Lewis’ work in horror was a taboo-breaking branching-out from his earlier nudie-cutie fare, Adamson’s pictures were endearing for their sentimental casting of veteran character actors well past their prime; technically, they didn’t bear comparing even to the old Monogram or PRC titles where Bela Lugosi was often found slumming during the 1940s, but the average drive-in patron could look at them and think, after his third or fourth beer of the night, “Damn, I could do better than this!” And sure enough, Adamson’s rough-and-ready example and his impressive earnings played a part in encouraging the powderkeg of DIY horror breakthroughs that went epidemic around the turn of the decade. Just to name the Americans, these feral young newcomers included George A. Romero, Wes Craven, Tobe Hooper, Bob Kelljan, David Durston, Andy Milligan, S.F. Brownrigg, even Oliver Stone, not to mention the many young and international filmmakers associated with Roger Corman’s New World Pictures.

1969’s Golden Anniversary honors were largely drawn to Quentin Tarantino’s behind-the-scenes movie fantasy Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood, which was much praised for its magical extrication of the beautiful and talented actress Sharon Tate from her hideous murder on August 9th of that year. For some of us, Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood links directly to thoughts of Al Adamson; in early 1969, he shot parts of his biker thriller Satan’s Sadists at the notorious Spahn Movie Ranch in Los Angeles’ Ventura County, where thwarted songwriter Charles Manson lived with his “family” members, inculcating in them a blood-lusting resentment for the established Hollywood order that would not invite him in. When Satan’s Sadists was first released in June 1969 (its trailer promising “A Rebellion of Human Garbage!” led by West Side Story star Russ Tamblyn), it quickly disappeared… but in the wake of the Tate/La Bianca murders just a few months later, its distributor Independent-International shipped it back out with a new, sleazier publicity campaign that actually emphasized its prophetic Manson Family associations. “See the Shocking Story Behind the Headlines… Wild Hippies on a Murder Spree!,” crowed the ads; “Actually Filmed Where the Tate Suspects Lived Their Wild Experiences!”And just in case this wasn’t enough, the film was frequently co-billed with Tate’s 1968 British film Eye of the Devil, now being sold with the tagline “Weird, mystic cult slaughters innocent victims!”

As irony would have it, almost thirty years after so grossly pandering to the public’s prurient interest in the murder, the director of Satan’s Sadists got the biggest headlines of his career when Al Adamson was named as the murder victim in a crime story nationally broken in August 1995, a couple of months after his mysterious disappearance.

This story is now the subject matter of a feature-length documentary by filmmaker David Gregory: Blood and Flesh: The Reel Life and Ghastly Death of Al Adamson, which premiered late last year at the Fantasia International Film Festival in Montreal and at the UK Fright Fest.

The son of 1930s western star Denver Dixon (in truth, transplanted New Zealand native Victor Adamson), Al had been kicking around the exploitation film business his entire life. In 1960, working under the alias “Lyle Felice”, he took the lead role in a Western entitled Halfway To Hell, which he ended up co-directing with his father. The film was never released and the young Adamson wasn’t able to put another film together until 1965, when he wore all the various hats needed to make his first official feature Echo of Terror, a jewel heist programmer somehow given the breath of life on a mere $2,000 investment.

Low on thrills and boasting no stars, Echo of Terror followed in the footsteps of Halfway To Hell by never finding a distributor. It remained on the shelf until Adamson made the fateful acquaintance of Samuel M. Sherman, then working in the publicity department at Hemisphere Pictures, designing campaigns for the likes of Filipino imports like Eddie Romero’s war drama The Ravagers and Gerardo de Leon’s vampire opus The Blood Drinkers. Sherman had just finished a two-year stint as the editor of the Warren Publications magazine Screen Thrills Illustrated, devoted to the movie serials of the 1930s and ‘40s – so he was familiar with the name Denver Dixon and formed a fast friendship with his son. He screened Edge of Terror and, while agreeing it was unviable in its present shape, he was impressed by what Adamson had accomplished with so little money. They didn’t yet have the means to produce an entirely new picture, so they made a reel’s worth of changes to what they had, and that’s how Echo of Terror – with a modicum of new footage featuring some go-go dancers - became Psycho A Go Go.

Through Hemisphere, this jarring concoction was shipped out in support of The Ravagers in Rochester, New York at the end of 1965, and it remained in circulation in New England and Midwestern states through 1967, first playing with another Gerardo de Leon picture, Curse of the Vampires (retitled Blood Creatures) and later appearing at the bottom of triple – and even quadruple - bills with Hammer’s Dracula Prince of Darkness (1965) and Plague of the Zombies (1966).

Even as Psycho A Go Go was tempting sullen motorists to stick around for the free donuts and coffee being served to anyone who lasted till the fourth feature, Sherman and Adamson could see that the clock was ticking against the timeliness of its title. So yet another scheme was hatched to squeeze maximum earnings out of a minimal further investment. Sherman knew more about the film business than Adamson did, so it was likely he who suggested they write some additional mad scientist gobbledegook, hire John Carradine for a day or two, and ship out their brand new picture with a more exploitable title like Fiend With the Electronic Brain – pretty much exactly what producer Jerry Warren had done some years earlier with the reels of unmarketable Swedish and Chilean footage that he sold to unsuspecting patrons as Invasion of the Animal People (1959) and Curse of the Stone Hand (1965), starring John Carradine!

They followed through on the plan and did indeed secure a distribution deal (or at least an arrangement) with David L. Hewitt’s American General Pictures, who got Fiend With the Electronic Brain into a couple of drive-ins in Corpus Christie and Austin, Texas in late 1967 and early 1968 as a co-feature to Jack Hill’s as-yet-unrecognized classic Spider Baby. On the books, it gave them credit for having produced and released a new picture that year, which made their new partnership the beneficiary of a much-needed tax break and a foundation from which they were able to produce their first real joint effort. This was Blood of Dracula’s Castle (1969, also starring Carradine), made in partnership with Paragon International Pictures, as was its co-feature, Bud Townsend’s Nightmare In Wax starring Cameron Mitchell. Released through Crown International, the double bill premiered in May 1969 and Blood of Dracula’s Castle in particular was never out of theatrical circulation for the next two years.

You might think they would have moved on to more important things, but the Frankensteinian efforts to make a bigger, better Fiend With the Electronic Brain continued to occupy Sherman and Adamson. Sherman’s success with Blood-titled campaigns – ranging from 1970s Mad Doctor of Blood Island to 1971’s Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror – had convinced him that “Blood” was the most commercially vital word in horror terminology. His theory was subsequently bourne out by the success of his 1972 “Chiller Carnival of Blood” – a drive-in festival composed of old, decomposing Hemisphere titles (1959’s Terror Is A Man retitled Blood Creature, Mad Doctor of Blood Island retitled Blood Doctor, Theater of Death retitled Blood Fiend, and Brides of Blood retitled Blood Brides). Sherman’s “good luck noun” was prominently applied to their old warhorse the next time it surfaced, this time with new footage featuring Kent Taylor and Adamson’s wife Regina Carroll, who had become a fixture of his work since Satan’s Sadists. The rechristened Blood of Ghastly Horror actually headed drive-in triple bills upon its release in January 1973 – and some ticket buyers may have been understandably annoyed to discover that it was the same film that had been playing on television stations across the country as early as April 1972 under the title Man With the Synthetic Brain.

This is but one of numerous stories of patchwork reinventions and retitlings attending the filmography of Al Adamson, which will receive the fullest possible examination when Severin Films releases the mind-staggering tributary box set Al Adamson – The Masterpiece Collection, on April 21st. Compiling all 32 of Adamson’s surviving feature films and variants on 14 Blu-ray discs (all Region A, except for Discs 1, 12, and 14, which are region free), a 128-page book, as well as the David Gregory documentary, this Matterhorn of home video retrospectives will be limited to only 2,000 copies and supply is dwindling fast. The dwindling is faster still for two variants packed with additional incentives: you’ve already missed the “Bundle of Ghastly Horror” (limited to 200 copies and containing posters signed by Adamson stars John “Bud” Cardos and Zandor Vorkov), but the limited 300-copy “Bundle A Go Go” retains most of the contents - a T-shirt, dimestore vampire fangs, 7” soundtrack single of music from The Female Bunch, and Adamson patch and enamel pin - while substituting a signed postcard for the posters. Pick your poison at severin-films.com.

If you’re wondering, “Do I need this?,” only you can answer that question reliably. However, should you be open to further temptation, I can whole-heartedly recommend the documentary Blood and Flesh: The Reel Life and Ghastly Death of Al Adamson, which is available for purchase separately and now streaming on such outlets as Amazon Prime, Vudu, and Google Play.

by Tim Lucas

[eyeofthewolfe]

Evil Zane Chapter 5

As the team struggles to find a way to save Zane, Zane and his new ally begin to prepare for their own devious plot. 

Prologue and Chapter 1: here

Chapter 2: here

Chapter 3: here

Chapter 4: here

Chapter 5

 Nya may have steered the ship a tad off course. But it was for a good purpose.

She pulled a lever back to decrease the speed of the ship and pressed a few buttons to activate autopilot on a straight course. Checking the clock next to her, she stepped back and watched the horizon.

As if on cue, a ray of light spewed across the rocky terrain dead ahead of the ship’s course. The sky slowly morphed into a vibrant pastel palette. Pinks and orange merged into purples and blues and the light spilled delicately across the landscape. Nya smiled warmly, as if the sun was opening a new possibility for the day, bringing hope to Ninjago. For a second, she felt like there was nothing wrong in her world.

The moment shattered instantly.

The intercom in the Bounty exploded with Kai screaming for help. Yells from the brig broke the beautiful silence and tremors of multiple heavy footsteps shook the deck. Nya dashed to the intercom and slammed the respond button for the brig. “Kai! What happened?”

“The bird!!” Her brother’s static voice yelled back. “The stupid bird broke the criminals out!”

“What bird?” Nya shouted, but looked up just as a dozen large men exploded from the stairs leading out of the brig. “Kai, take the back, I’m in front! Let’s get some cover and play home advantage!”

“Sounds good.” He responded. “But we need to deal with-“ Kai was interrupted by a flatline.

“You’ve got to be joking,” Nya mumbled as she pulled up her hood. She dashed out of the bridge, flipped off of the railing and landed in front of the men. “We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties,” Nya snapped. “If you could kindly return to the brig and wait until we solve the problem.”

A criminal with a beard started an uproar of laughter. “You wish, darling!” He grinned. “But I don’t take orders from any girl.”

Anger boiled in Nya’s gut. “You’ll learn soon enough to take orders from this girl,” she sneered and lifted her fists. The mob of men charged.

Nya sprayed water in front of her, causing six of the men to slip and fall hard. She flipped in the air and used the bearded man as a spring-board to catapult herself next to Kai’s side.

“Aw, did he hurt your feelings?” Kai mocked, part of his arm steaming from some hole blasted through his suit.

Nya glared at her brother playfully. “No, I think he was referring to you,” she shot back, and Kai frowned as he pulled up his hood. “Alright, let’s get some cover!” She commanded as they both shot their element towards the giant mob.

The fire and the water combined into a loud hiss as white smoke filled the deck. The men began coughing and stumbling around, suddenly blinded. Nya and Kai jumped into action.

Every punch and kick they made slowly weakened the mob. The smoke disoriented the crew, but Nya and Kai were so familiar with the deck after years of training that they knew where ever bump and deformity lurked. When the smoke cleared, all the men were groaning and squirming on the ground. Nya and Kai high-fived.

Nya pointed at the hole in Kai’s suit. “It looks like that bird somehow got a piece of your suit, Kai.” Nya smiled as she kicked one of the men in the shoulder when he moved to get up.

Kai instantly tensed up, his eyes scanning the sky with fear. “Whoa, Kai,” Nya said with alarm. “What are you worried about?”

“It’s Zane’s bird,” Kai whispered. “It attacked me with laser beams coming out of its beak!” He exclaimed on edge. “It freed these guys!”

Nya glanced around. “Well, it looked like it flew away. C’mon Kai, let’s get these animals back in their cage.”

 __________________________________________________________ 

The Mechanic typed a few more things out on the main computer before turning to the robot. “The cloaking mechanism is operational. Our little birdie is successfully hidden from the ninja.”

Zane eyed the screen, where he watched the live feed from the invisible bird show the two ninja slowly escorting the defeated criminals back to the brig. “Good. Keep me updated on their next move. I want to know what they are up to.” The mechanic nodded as a bell rang in the factory. “That sounds like good news,” The cyborg grinned as he ran over to giant machine. “Sire, I believe your protective armor is complete.”

Zane smiled as the Mechanic lifted the giant piece of armor. Black sleek metal combined with red glowing lines outlined the front and back. The shoulder pads were heavy and equipped for protection and battle. A giant red glowing circle decorated the front middle.  Zane took it and slid it over his head and it comfortably fitted onto his body.

“And your headset, sir,” the crook added as he handed him a small device that wrapped around his left ear. Zane equipped it and pressed the side button. A blue protective screen activated in front of his eyes and a miniature microphone slid towards his mouth. Zane grinned.

“You exceeded my expectations, Mechanic,” he said, fingering the microphone. “How is Phase 1 of the primary project moving along?”

“Smoothly, sir.” He responded and directed the evil nindroid to the main portion of the factory, where the machines were alive and busy molding and cutting dark metal pieces. “The blueprints I made processed correctly so the finished product should be complete in a few hours.”

Zane frowned. “A few hours? That’s as fast as the factory can go?”

The Mechanic nodded, fixing his hat. “It’s quite an ambitious task with a ton of little quirks I’ll need to make by hand.” He lifted his mechanical arm as a joke.

Zane didn’t laugh. “I expect that done by the time the ninja have their next move planned. Or else that hand will be fixing itself.” Zane turned and walked off, leaving a cold chill in the Mechanic’s bones.

__________________________________________________________ 

Lloyd felt the ship slowly come to a stop. Thuds from multiple footsteps above the room meant that they had finally reached the prison and the crooks were on their way to being back behind bars. Groaning, he turned over in his bed and stared across the room where Jay was loudly snoring. Cole was also asleep, but he had earbuds in. Soft classical music could be heard under the snores, and Lloyd couldn’t sleep because of it.

He turned again on his bed and then found himself tracing Lil’ Nelson’s name for the 69th time on his cast. The letters were carefully scripted and large, but it oddly stood out to the green ninja. Lloyd could clearly remember when his handwriting looked like that, mainly because it was like that up until about a year or so when his physical body aged 8 years in 8 seconds. He had to spend a few hours writing words to get used to his new handwriting.

His finger delicately traced the “L”. Nelson was how old, seven? Eight? He was about Lloyd’s age when his childhood was taken. But Nelson was going to live it out, enjoy his young days before they are over-unlike the kid’s idol.

Lloyd didn’t know why his eyes were suddenly burning with tears. He’s accepted his job as a leader for so long, but now he was wondering the what if’s of his life. What if he never aged that fast? Would the final battle have been the same? Would he look at his job as a leader differently? Would he be a better leader if he hadn’t of used the tea all those years ago in the comic book store?

Cringing, Lloyd pushed those thoughts out of his head and stuffed his casts under his sheets. For a second it was peaceful, until Jay snorted in his sleep. “Dear FSM,” Lloyd groaned as he stuffed his pillow over his ears.

 _________________________________________________________

 After locking the men back up at Kryptarium, Kai and Nya steered the Bounty back to the high skies. Kai sheltered his eyes and glanced at the sky. “The sun is almost at high noon. We should probably figure out what we are going to do next. Zane may strike soon along with his little pet bird.” Kai remarked.

Nya rubbed her arm, and Kai instantly recognized it as her unconscious habit of showing her uneasiness. “What’s wrong?” Kai instantly softened his tone.

Nya lifted her gaze and stared out into space. “Do you really think there is no way to save Zane?” She finally asked.

Kai looked out across the horizon as well, realizing the fact that what he had to say was exactly what Nya did not want to hear. “If PIXAL can’t find a solution, then yes, there will be no saving Zane.”

Even the sun felt cold as Kai watched his sister absorb the news. It was like a piece of her heart had been broken and lost forever. “I’m sorry Nya, but if the Overlord has taken over one of the most dangerous and deadly weapons known to Ninjago, then we need to stop him as fast as possible.”

“But I don’t get it,” Nya sighed as she sank into a chair on the deck. “The Overlord has taken over his code, but Zane is still calling himself Zane…that must mean that Zane is still in there but something went wrong. Maybe if we can reboot him with the same code as before the explosion….”

Kai sat down next to her. “That means that we need to capture Zane and hold him down long enough to reprogram him, given that we even know how to reprogram him. The software in his hard drive is encrypted with safeguards and firewalls that were put in place in order to protect himself from what ultimately didn’t work. We would have to bypass all of those, somehow erase and redownload the code, then reactivate Zane. But we won’t even know if that will work in the long run.”

Nya looked up at her brother with an eyebrow raised. “When did you become an expert on robotics?”

Kai shrugged. “When we switched from piloting and keeping watch, I may have had an in-depth conversation with Zane’s best girl.”

Nya grinned. “Alright, let’s blare the wake-up call.”

 __________________________________________________________

Within a few minutes, the team had regathered in the bridge for the third time that day. Lloyd, who looked like he didn’t get a second of sleep, called the team together. “Alright, this is the moment of truth. PIXAL, have you found anything that could save Zane?”

The team fell deadly silent as they all stared at the screen.

PIXAL lowered her gaze. “There is nothing in my logic parameters that would work in order to save Zane,” PIXAL answered, and the team sighed, defeated. Lloyd turned to speak, but was interrupted.

“However,” she said, and the team snapped back to the robot. “I did come to a more…irrational..thought..” The robot said delicately.

“Is that what robots call a crazy idea?” Jay whispered to Cole as he wiped his nose with a tissue. Cole snorted a laugh.

Misako stepped forward. “Anything will work, PIXAL.”

PIXAL waved her hand and blueprints appeared on the screen. “These are Zane’s original blueprints, recovered from the hidden tree bunker where he was built. The blueprints lay out every physical feature that went into building his original design. Some aspects are more unclear than others, but sadly the only person who can answer those questions is Doctor Julien, who passed away years ago.”

“So how does that help us?” Wu asked.

“The blueprints recovered only specify the mechanics and hardware. Every piece that went into building him is marked on that sheet. However…” PIXAL remarked, but Nya suddenly understood where she was going.

“The software!” Nya cried out. “We have no information on his software! PIXAL- you’re a genius!”

The robot smiled. “I am here to assist.”

Nya turned to the team with a smile. “There’s only one place we can find more information on the original design of Zane’s software. It’s quite obvious where we are off to next!” she said.

The green ninja, with a small smile, asked, “Do we know where it is?”

“The location of the hidden tree bunker has been saved into the ship’s global positioning system by our own metal tin can,” Cole answered as he walked over to the map and pressed some buttons. Eventually, a blue dot appeared in the middle of the Birchwood forest. “Bingo.” Cole turned to the team with a smile. “Even after turning evil and defeating us all in the matter of minutes, Zane is still the real MVP.”

Lloyd began to bark orders and the ninja assumed positions. Wu and Misako turned to each other. “Do you think this will work?” She asked under her breath.

Wu pressed his lips together in deep thought. “Robotics…this is out of my comfort zone. For the first time in a while, I feel so old.”

Misako smiled, then quickly glanced around to make sure the ninja weren’t listening. “Speaking of time…” she whispered even softer.

Wu lifted his hand to clasp a golden pocket watch within his robes. “Don’t worry about them Misako. I will deal with them when the time comes. For now, we must worry about Zane.”

“You need to tell the ninja about-“

“No,” Wu said harshly as he eyed the ninja rushing around the bridge. “I can handle this on my own. There are things that I don’t-“ Wu stuttered as his eyes focused on Kai and Nya. “-that I can’t tell them.”

Misako nodded. “I understand, but you are playing a dangerous game.”

Wu nodded, and their discussion ended. The sensei turned to the team. “Ninja, we will need to search the tree home quickly so we can figure out what our next course of action will be. Lloyd, Nya, and Jay will go inside with me. Cole, Kai, and Misako will stay behind to keep watch.”

“Especially for Tree Horns!” Jay said.

“Tree what?” said Lloyd, a look of alarm crossing his face.

“Oooh right, you were captured during that mission,” Jay said, then sneezed. “Huge creatures, long legs that look like trees, basically unstoppable unless you freeze the queen.”

“Do what?” Lloyd gasped, his alarm turned to fear.

The ninja laughed, and for a second, it seemed like all was right in the world. But while they were laughing, they all missed the shift of invisible movement in the corner of the room and the tiny breeze as something flew away.

 ___________________________________________________________

The screen in the factory went dead after the falcon switched off its feed from inside the bridge, hidden completely with its new cloaking device. The Mechanic took off his headset and dashed to Zane.

“Master, the ninja have a plan!” He said. “They are going to a secret tree bunker somewhere in the Birchwood forest! I’m sure I can rewind the feed from the titanium bird to see where on the map it was located-“

The evil robot silenced the man with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense, I know exactly where that is. I will meet the ninja there and slow them down long enough to let you get started on phase 2. Which reminds me,” Zane droned. “Is Phase 1 completed?”

The Mechanic grinned. “She’s a beauty. The last few pieces are being attached now. She will be ready to use in the matter of seconds.”

“Excellent work,” Zane said and drifted off to the center of the factory. “Is it all operational?”

“Yes sir, top of the line- even some futuristic equipment- all ready at your fingertips.”

Zane smiled. “You will be rewarded greatly, Mechanic.” He said as he stopped in front of the machine. “And you are right, she is a beauty.”

The bell rang again through the factory signaling the completion of another project as the machines pulled away from its new creation. Zane reached up to his ear and activated his new screen. It instantly linked with the new giant piece of equipment. Zane smiled, then activated his new ride.

[cynthiadinkel-blog]

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[carneaderuntold]

FOUNDER’S DAY (1X22).

feburary 25, 2010.

                     it’s nearly 11, kennedy realized as her feet hit the concrete driveway of her house. the sun had long since left the sky, leaving behind bright stars ( the kind only visible in small southern towns )in its absence. the cool air whipped her hair back & forth, & kennedy felt a shiver run down her neck, nimble fingers pulling at the ends of her gray sweater. her chocolate brown eyes flickered towards the glow of warm light filtering through the front window. her father was still awake then, probably waiting for her to walk in the door a minute past curfew so he could berate her ( again ). a soft sigh escaping her lips, kennedy shook her head. if there’s was one thing her dad was a stickler for ( other than eating vegetables ), it was curfew.

                     ❝   thanks again for walking me home,   ❞   the words tumbled past her pink lips as she turned on her heels to face the dark-haired vampire standing next to her, poster boards from the library’s founder’s day booth in his hands. face relaxed but serious, she has no jokes tonight, no terrible puns ready to counter his biting words & cause his face to scrunch up in embarrassment of ever associating with her. it’s an odd sorta friendship the two of them have developed over the past few months————one full of bad jokes & teasing remarks, a lingering intensity neither of them acknowledged hidden underneath.

                      he shrugged off her gratitude, blue eyes roaming the house behind her.   ❝   well, last time i let you walk home alone, you were kidnapped by a bunch of vampires, so i thought, better not test it.   ❞

                     ❝   true … although, those vampires are dead now———   ❞   she trailed off. her fingers picked at a hole on her right sleeve, pushing through the cotton material. she didn’t understand how things could be so awkward & relaxing, intense & at ease, all at once. maybe the comfortable atmosphere stemmed from knowing damon in a past life. eliza gilbert had been best friends with damon hundreds of years ago; meanwhile, kennedy was just getting to know damon herself. perhaps that contrast caused the dueling mood around the two of them, for the same could be said about the older man. he had known eliza back in the day, but he had only met kennedy months ago.   ❝   ————m’glad you’re okay, & you know … not dead & stuff,   ❞   she tried to fill in the tense silence, referring to the blazing fire that roared only an hour or so earlier downtown. many people ( vampires, but people nonetheless ) had died because of the gilbert device, the same device bonnie had promised to deactivate but hadn’t.

                      his gaze moved back to her face, blue eyes searching for something before he shrugged again, his easy smirk sliding back over his features.   ❝   technically,   ❞   he began, & it took everything in kennedy’s might to not roll her eyes right there.   ❝   i’ve been dead for over 140 years now, so …   ❞

                     ❝   so m’glad you’ll get to be dead for over 140 more,   ❞   she quipped back. a second later, her warm lips have connected with his cold cheek before she stepped back, small smile lingering on her face, posters now in her hands.   ❝   good night … see you tomorrow ???❞   she didn’t wait for his response, opting instead to walk inside just as her watch ticked over to 10:59 PM. just in time for curfew.

THE BIRTHDAY (3X01).

june 22 2010.

                      she rolled over, hands tugging the white cotton pillow above her head. a soft groan escaped her lips as she tried to block out the bright rays of sunlight streaming in through the window. it was no use, seeing as she had been at this for five minutes & was now wide awake. a few seconds later, she peeled the pillow off her face & opened her eyes, blinking & sitting up. her gaze wandered to the other side of the bed, noticing it empty for the first time since she had woken up. she could hear the sound of the shower running & figured that was where she would find him. it wasn’t like anyone else was living in the boarding house at the moment, well, not since before summer had began.

                       she flopped back down on the bed, fingers running through her tangled brown locks as she glanced around his bed room. this wasn’t the first time she had spent the night here, & just like many other nights, it had begun & ended the same way. over the course of the summer, the two had become something more. what more was, kennedy wasn’t so sure, but she liked it. dinner & research, star-gazing &spell practicing, late night drinks & early morning pancakes. it was a routine she had grown familiar with, & one she was glad she didn’t have to give up when the school year began ( since she had decided to delay college by one year. funny how a year ago, she couldn’t wait to be out of this small town, & here she was voluntarily staying another year ).

                       hearing the water cut off, kennedy tugged at the covers, wrapping herself back into them & closing her eyes. she knew her feign of sleep wouldn’t convince him very long, but it might convince him he had nothing better to do all day than lay around the house. she felt the bed dip next to her, & she rolled over, curling into him. surprisingly, he was dry, despite only having gotten out of the shower a minute ago. she sneaked a glance upward, finding him laying there in only a towel. eyelashes fluttered as she blinked before shaking her head softly at the smirk on his face.

                      ❝   good morning,   ❞   he announced, chirpier as ever, & kennedy rolled her eyes, nodding softly. it was a good morning. she was relaxed, having slept peacefully through the night next to her best friend.

                     ❝   mmmhmmm,   ❞   she agreed, leaning back into him & closing her eyes. she felt his lips press against the crown of her head, & she smiled.

                      he laughed softly.    ❝   i’d hate to make you get up, but i just heard elena open the front door. we better get up & see what she wants.   ❞

                     ❝   ‘nother lead ???   ❞   kennedy perked up at his words, sitting up.

                     ❝   probably, she needs to stop looking.   ❞

                     ❝   well, it’s not like you’ve stopped looking either.   ❞   she glanced over at the bedside clock, eyes landing on the date.   ❝   either way, be nice to her today. it’s her birthday.   ❞

                      he scoffed.   ❝   when am i not nice ???   fine, fine. get dressed & meet me downstairs in a few, okay ???   ❞

                      she nodded, watching as he got up, still dressed in only his towel, & walked downstairs.

HEART OF DARKNESS (3X19).

winter 2010.

                      the motel room was dark, dimly lit from the moon’s light seeping through the window. if kennedy had been more awake, she probably would have made a comment about how the light wasn’t actually coming from the moon, it was just the sun’s light reflecting off the moon, but after a long day on the road helping elena & damon find jeremy ( & then later running away from kol ), she didn’t care too much about being 100% accurate, especially since no one else was awake to hear her be correct. elena & jeremy laid in the other bed, tucked under the scratchy, wool blankets & snoring softly. kennedy turned in the bed at the sound of the bathroom door creaking, eyes cracked open enough to make out a shirtless damon. she watched as he walked towards the ice box & grabbed a bottle of whiskey. biting her lip, she wondered if she should make her awakeness known but thought better of it as she watched him peer out the window, put on one of his dark button-downs, & pour himself a drink. he sat down at the table, propping his legs up in the adjacent chair.  her gaze lingered as he took a sip of the amber liquid. silence continued to fill the air, leaving room for kennedy’s thoughts to wander.

                       the past few months had come & gone in much of blur. it was the first year since 1997 that she wasn’t enrolled in school, which, in theory, should have left her more time to relax & enjoy life. of course, that wasn’t the case. between searching for stefan, fighting off klaus & his family of original vampires, & now dealing with alaric’s crazy alter ego, kennedy had done pretty much everything but relax. so it was moments like this, quiet seconds stuck between the chaotic hours of her day, she found time to take a step back & think. sometimes, she’d write, jot down all her reflections into a worn journal, much like her previous incarnations. but she didn’t have her journal with her, so she was left to silently analyze the way damon’s blue eyes scrutinized the now empty plastic cup in his hands. his gaze flicked towards her, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of her awake, & she dug her teeth further into her lip.

                       their eyes stayed locked, seconds beating between the two before kennedy’s gaze broke away, & she shuffled on the bed. scooting over, she patted the empty space next to her. he nodded softly, setting the glass down on the table & standing up. he walked over, feet hitting the cold floor before he laid down on the bed. head turned towards her, his fingers found her long brown hair & brushed it out of her face.   ❝   hey———————what are you doing still up ???  ❞

                       she shrugged, not quite knowing the answer herself. it was just one of those nights where her mind didn’t want to shut off,  so she stayed awake, thoughts circling over & over in her head.   ❝   you never told me about that, you know ???   ❞

                       he blinked.   ❝   told you about what ???   ❞

                      ❝   what you did for rose. i mean, i know you had helped her, i just … didn’t know how much.   ❞

                       she watched as his blue eyes flickered to the ceiling & he pulled his hand away from her face.   ❝   didn’t seem like something that needed to be told.   ❞

                       a frown formed on her lips as she sighed, twisting to face him better.   ❝   why do you do that ???   ❞   her voice was soft, dark brown eyes observing every detail of his dimly lit face. she didn’t understand it, & normally, she didn’t question it out loud either. she knew damon was a good guy, understood that even though he sometimes did bad things, his intentions & motivations usually turned out pure (or at least, as pure as a 171 year-old vampire’s intentions could be ).   ❝   why don’t you let people see the good in you ???   ❞   the way she said it made it was obvious she hadn’t included herself as ‘ people ’. somewhere along the way, in the past two years of knowing damon, she had been granted glimpses of him others had never seen, moments where his guard was down & he could just … be. he always seemed more human to her during them, & sometimes, she’d wonder if maybe that was what he was like with eliza.

                       it felt like hours before he spoke.   ❝   because when people see good, they expect good.   ❞   his eyes finally met hers again.   ❝   & i don’t want to have to live up to anyone’s expectations.   ❞

                       her frowned lingered, but she nodded nonetheless, understanding where he was coming from. expectations were a hard thing to get past, whether coming from family & friends or total strangers. kennedy remembered how tough the beginning of high school had been, her overtly excitement for learning having been thrown off by everyone else’s desire to just get done with the lecture & go home. she had learned to stop interjecting in the middle of class & just sit quietly & do her work instead. she had let others’ expectations influence how she acted in school. fingers found her own, & her head turned to see damon staring at her again, mind probably wondering where hers had gone off to. it seemed to be a night meant for staring contests as their gazes lingered again, seconds turning into minutes. at one point, kennedy couldn’t take the intensity of damon’s stare any longer & stood up, abruptly grabbing the sweater she had left on the table & walking out of the motel room, feet still bare.

                       she made it all the way to the vending machine, leaning against its cool side as she took a few deep breaths. she couldn’t quite wrap her head around where she stood with damon. were they dating ??? the amount of times they had kissed & one of them had stayed the night at the other’s the past few months indicated, yes, they were. but there was also a distinct lack of communication of their feelings between the two of them, leaving kennedy wondering what the hell their relationship status was. turning, she found damon had followed her out of the motel room & was standing only a foot or so away, arms folded across his chest. he opened his mouth to speak, clearly confused as to what her problem was.

                      ❝   what are we doing ???   ❞   she asked, cutting off whatever he was going to say.

                      ❝   what do you mean ???   ❞   he took a step closer.

                      ❝   i mean what are we doing ??? me. you. what are we doing ??? because i literally have no clue.   ❞

                      ❝   kennedy—————   ❞

                      ❝   are we dating ???   ❞   she swore she sounded more mature in her head, but as the words tumble out of her mouth, she realized she sounded much more like a confused teenager than anything. granted, kennedy was still technically a teenager for another eight months, but the sentiment still held true.

                       blue eyes narrowed, damon took another step forward until he was standing right in front of her. his arm stretched out, fingers clasping around her wrist & uncoiling her hand.   ❝   well, i kinda thought we were. why———did you think we weren’t dating ???   ❞

                      ❝   no———i mean, i don’t know. this is very confusing. you’re very confusing.   ❞   although she wouldn’t admit it, she kinda liked being confused. it was nice reprieve from knowing everything all the time.   ❝   i think everyone but you right now is confused.   ❞

                       kennedy didn’t have time to blink before his lips were on hers, coercing her to stop asking so many goddamn questions & just let it be. she kissed back, hands roaming until they found the hem of his shirt & pulled him closer.  his lips began to wander down her neck before she lifted his head back up to her lips.

                       behind them, someone cleared their throat, & kennedy quickly pulled away, face flushed, brown eyes trailing until she found elena staring at the two of them.    ❝   uh———   ❞   kennedy tried to make out an excuse as to why her & damon were making out in the late hours of the night, but she couldn’t seem to get her mind to assemble an articulate response.

                       elena shook her head.   ❝   jeremy says rose found mary. she lives in kansas.   ❞

                       damon glanced towards kennedy & then looked back to elena, sly smirk curling onto his face.   ❝   okay then. let’s go.   ❞   he walked back into the room, door closing shut behind him.

elena’s curious gaze never left kennedy’s stunned face. before the younger brunette could get a word in, however, kennedy let out a sound of disbelief.   ❝   a simple yes would have worked too.   ❞

                      ❝   what ???   ❞

                      ❝   nothing. let’s get going.   ❞

SUMMER NIGHTS (PRE-S5).

july 2 2011.

                      two years ago, kennedy would have laughed if you told her she had let someone in on where her secret hiding spot was. of course, she knew oliver ( & maybe even bonnie ) had some clue as to where she’d run off to in the middle of the week, when work & school & everything else seem to pile on top of her all at once & she just needed some space. but that didn’t mean she had ever told oliver, & to be fair, she hadn’t actually told the dark-haired vampire laying next to her on the rough grass either. well, not at first, at least. in fact, the whole reason they were sitting out here in this clearing, eyes locked on the stars above them,  was because damon had taken her out here several weeks ago with the intent to show her where he & eliza had spent many of their nights together, laughing & talking & sipping wine. kennedy had managed to ruin the surprise when she informed him only seconds after reaching the clearing this was her favorite spot to star-gaze & write in her journal ( & had been for several years now ).

                       she really needed to learn the art of timing.

                       but, hey, if damon hadn’t broken up with her over her terrible puns yet, her poor timing wasn’t going to push him over the edge anytime soon.

                       so there they sat, fingers plucking at the tall strands of grass below them, gazes fixated on the stars above. it was a peaceful scene, just like every other night this summer had been, actually. it only took two years, but everything had finally quieted down in mystic falls, & everyone left in town had returned to a semi-normal routine for the summer. & damon & kennedy, well, they were no exception. without any supernatural drama to deal with, the couple was left to do actual couple things for once. a month ago, they were worried about an immortal witch being awakened from his thousand year slumber, & today, they were laughing at one of her bad puns, & he was pointing out different constellations to her & explaining to her the origins for each one ( although, she did have to correct him on a few greek myths ).

                      ❝   & that’s why there’s technically 13 zodiac signs & not 12.   ❞   she finished her story, twisting around on the grass until her body was curled up next to him. his arm wrapped around her waist &pulled her short frame closer.

                      ❝   interesting,   ❞   he muttered into her hair, & she could practically feel the grin radiating off him at her over-enthusiastic explanation of the zodiac signs.   ❝   you know where you could see the stars better ??? ❞

                      ❝   where ???   ❞   she asked, half-expecting his reply to be some sort of innuendo. instead, she felt him run his fingers through her tangled locks, twisting each strand around his fingers.

                      ❝   up in the mountains, where there’s no city lights to block your view or dim their brightness.   ❞

                      ❝   yeah ???   ❞

                      ❝   yeah.   ❞   his grip around her waist briefly tightened before his gaze met hers.   ❝   we could go to some if you’d like. i’ve got a place in the ozarks. we could head up there for a few weeks, just the two of us.   ❞

                       she hummed in response at his offer. the idea of leaving mystic falls for a few weeks & getting to have damon all to herself was very tempting. it wasn’t like she had anything better to do either. she didn’t start college for another two months, & there wasn’t any supernatural drama going on for once. all she would have to do would be to tell the library she wouldn’t behere for a few weeks.   ❝   that sounds really nice.   ❞

                      ❝   yeah ???   ❞

                      ❝   yeah.   ❞   she grinned, & he grinned back. he leaned down, lips meeting hers in a deep kiss before she pulled back, giggle escaping her throat. she pointed back up to the sky, index finger homing in on a constellation to the far right.   ❝   so tell me about that one.   ❞

SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GONE (S6).

october 10 2012.

                      to say her head hurt would be an understatement.  a soft groan escaped her lips as her brown eyes fluttered open. squinting, she tried to adjust to the dim light illuminating the unfamiliar room. as she began to make out the layout of the room———large king bed, table set off to the side, older television laid on top of a dresser———, she realized she was in a motel, which also explained why the sheets were so rough against her skin. cold fingers brushed her hair back, & kennedy’s questions as to how she had gotten there drifted to the back of her mind.

                       turning on her side, kennedy blinked as her eyes landed on a familiar pale face. her breath caught in her breath as her heart pounded in her chest. a few memories clicked back into place———damon blowing himself up to find bring back stefan from the other side, kennedy searching & searching for a way to get him back until finding the answer in her uncle, her uncle henry later slicing her throat to try & resurrect katherine. kennedy’s hand trailed up to her throat, fingers stroking the unharmed skin. realization came to her then, & she let out a jagged breath.   ❝   m’dead, aren’t i ???   ❞

                      ❝   what ???   ❞   she has never heard his voice rise that high before, so full of disbelief & confusion. the expression on his face would be humorous if the situation wasn’t so serious. he was dead, & if she was seeing him, touching him, interacting with him, then logically, she was dead as well. it was the only way her brain could make sense of it all. her uncle had killed her, had sliced her throat & let her bleed out, & for what ??? so katherine could come back from the prison world kennedy had sent her to so the manipulative bitch didn’t have to suffer in HELL ??? at least kennedy could take comfort in knowing katherine wouldn’t be too happy gracing the earth again ( not when nadia was still in the prison world without her mother ) & would probably kill henry for releasing her. meanwhile, kennedy was stuck in some sort of limbo ( … was this heaven ??? must be if she had finally been reunited with damon ).

                      ❝   i’m dead … actually, properly dead.   ❞   she frowned as she sat up in the bed, fingers pushing back the covers. this was an experience she wasn’t sure she was ever going to have. she didn’t know many details about how the reincarnation spell actually worked ( where did her soul go in between incarnations ??? how come she always looked the same even though she wasn’t related to any of her other-selves ??? ). she had always been more afraid & reincarnating & forgetting everyone she loved than dying permanently,  but she had had an inkling that the spell wouldn’t work since the other side had been destroyed, & right now, it looked like she had been right.

                       sometimes she hated being right.

                       surprisingly, right now wasn’t one of those times.

                      ❝   you’re not dead, kennedy,   ❞   damon huffed, hand clasping around hers. his fingers found the crevices between her own & squeezed. there was a glimmer of amusement in his blue eyes, &kennedy wasn’t sure what he found so funny about this situation. they were dead. this was not a joke.

                      ❝   yeah ??? & what makes you think that, hmm ???   ❞

                       damon’s lips connected with hers then, & she sighed, kissing him back. four months. it had been four months since she had kissed him, seen his face, heard his voice. she didn’t care if they were in some sort of afterlife right now. she wasn’t curious to explore their surroundings & figure out whether the religion she spent half her life believing in held any sort of truth in it. she didn’t care about anything except the dark-haired vampire ( could one be a vampire after death ??? ) kissing her right now. but too soon, he pulled away, breath heavy against her face. his face still held the look of amusement across it, although hidden underneath she could see he was worried.   ❝   did that do the trick ???   ❞

                      ❝   how … how was kissing me supposed to prove i’m alive ???   ❞   she asked, giggling softly before shaking her head. damon shrugged, obviously not knowing the answer himself, & kennedy sighed & decided to play along.   ❝   okay, i’ll bite. if we’re not dead, how are you here ??? last i checked, you kinda drove your car into the grill & blew it along with yourself up.   ❞

                      ❝   & now she’s asking the real questions. i knew my brainiac was in there somewhere.   ❞   he smirked, free hand moving to push back more of her hair.   ❝   well, you see, someone had the decency to pop up in my dreams & tell me to start looking for an ascendant. i found it, escaped, & ta-da, i’m here.   ❞

                       kennedy blinked, damon’s words slowly sinking in.   ❝   that actually worked ??? henry wasn’t lying to me ???   ❞   her grip tightened on his hand, & she frowned. damon had been stuck in a prison world. henry had confirmed her suspicions as soon as she had arrived in memphis. that’s when she had managed to perform a spell to make contact with him, showing up in his dreams & telling him what little she knew about prison worlds, hoping it would lead him back home to her. apparently, it had worked, but that still left one tiny detail.   ❝   that explains how you’re here & alive, but what about me ??? i distinctly remember having my throat cut open.   ❞

                       this time she felt damon’s hand tightened on hers. his eyes grew gentle, amusement being replaced with affection.   ❝   vampire blood does a good job at healing most wounds, kenn———you left ric & your dad all worried with talk of your uncle & not showing up to class for a whole week. so when i got back & you weren’t there, well, some of us can still put 2 & 2 together.   ❞

                       another blink. her head was beginning to clear, more memories from her uncle’s ritual coming back to her: his voice calling out to her as her uncle held the knife to her throat. alaric & oliver had been there as well; although who knows where the two of them were now ( probably still on their way back to mystic falls ). & katherine ??? had katherine been released from her prison world even though damon had stopped the ritual ???   ❝   you saved me ???   ❞

                      ❝   of course, i saved you. s’kinda what i do, you know.   ❞

                       she rolled her eyes, half-tempted to list the numerous times she had saved his ass, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment.   ❝   so we’re alive then ???   ❞

                        he nodded.   ❝   we’re alive.   ❞

                      ❝   good. that means i can do this again.   ❞   her lips pressed against his, but he pulled back.

                      ❝   nuh-uh. not until AFTER we talk about you almost getting yourself killed trying to bring me back.  ❞

                      ❝   hey !!! the dying thing wasn’t exactly on the table when i originally made the deal with him.   ❞

                      ❝   what about ‘ shady uncle your father doesn’t want you to know ’ about doesn’t scream danger to you ???   ❞

                      ❝   i’m a curious child, leave me alone.   ❞

                      ❝   curiosity killed the cat, kenn.   ❞

                      ❝   & satisfaction brought it back.   ❞   she leaned forward, capturing his lips again. this time he didn’t pull back, merely sighing softly as his hands found his way into her hair. it was nice not being dead.

[flauntpage]

DGB NHL Season Preview: Bottom Feeders and Middle of the Pack

The start of the NHL regular season is just two days away. And there's no better way to welcome the league back than with the biggest NHL VICE Sports season preview ever*!

(*In the sense that this preview has 31 teams. Every preview you read this year will technically be the biggest ever. But let's not let reality get in the way of some good marketing. Biggest ever!)

As always, we'll go division-by-division, but with a twist. Rather than use the NHL's boring geography-based format, we'll make up a few divisions of our own. Today, we'll start with the Bottom Feeder Division and the Middle of the Pack Division. Tomorrow, we work our way up to the Contender Division, with a detour through the always-popular Your-Guess-Is-As-Good-As-Mine Division.

The Bottom Feeder Division

As a wise Canadian poet once said, you started from the bottom, now the whole team is…well, still at the bottom, if these predictions hold true. It's hopeless, is what we're saying.

Colorado Avalanche Last season: 22-56-4, 48 points, dead last, quite possibly the worst season of the salary cap era. Offseason report: Pretty quiet. Which, given how much work there is to do, was kind of strange. Outlook: Last year was a perfect storm—a bad roster full of players having bad seasons while getting pelted with bad luck. They have to be better. But yeah, they'll still be bad. In the spotlight: Matt Duchene. Obvious choice is obvious, but Duchene is the story in Colorado right now. He clearly doesn't want to be there, and there was even talk that he might hold out to force a trade. That didn't happen, but at some point Joe Sakic has to stop kicking the can down the road and get this figured out. Duchene was awful after last year's trade deadline; his play early this season will go a long way to determining whether Sakic can somehow pull a solid trade out of a miserable situation. Oddly specific prediction: Duchene is traded to the Blue Jackets, the return is underwhelming, and then we do this all over again with Gabriel Landeskog.

Arizona Coyotes Last season: 30-42-10, 70 points, sixth in the Pacific, missed playoffs Offseason report: They were busy adding legitimate NHL talent, like Derek Stepan and Niklas Hjalmarsson. Longtime captain Shane Doan retired, and goalie Mike Smith was traded. They also have a new coach, replacing Dave Tippett with Rick Tocchet. Outlook: Some teams in this division are starting rebuilds; the Coyotes appear to be almost finished theirs. There's lots of young talent in place, and if any Bottom Feeder team is going to have a Maple Leafs-like leap directly from laughingstock to playoff contention, it's the Coyotes. In the spotlight: Dylan Strome. The third overall pick in the 2015 draft has yet to have an NHL impact, playing just seven games, even as guys picked after him like Mitch Marner, Noah Hanifin, and Zach Werenski establish themselves. Nobody's calling him a bust yet, but the clock is ticking. Some guys just take longer, and if Strome breaks out then the Coyotes go from being flush with young talent to absolutely stacked with it. But if not, he'll face some tough questions. Oddly specific prediction: Strome is fine, but Clayton Keller is the Coyote who captures the Calder.

Detroit Red Wings Last season: 33-36-13, 79 points, seventh in the Atlantic, missed the playoffs for the first time since 1990. Offseason report: For once, they were fairly quiet, especially in free agency where GM Ken Holland usually loves to throw around terrible contracts. Outlook: The Wings had a great run, probably the greatest of the Bettman era. But now there's a price to pay, as a team that spent years moving picks and prospects for immediate help now turns to the future with an underwhelming pipeline of young players. They can't do a full teardown because of all those awful long-term contracts clogging the books, and they may not be as bad as many seem to think. But compared to what Red Wings fans are used to, it's going to be rough. In the spotlight: Dylan Larkin. After a very strong rookie debut, Larkin saw his numbers dip across the board last year. As one of the few young building blocks already in place, he'll be watched closely for signs that he's back on track for stardom. Oddly specific prediction: After being left unprotected in the expansion draft, Petr Mrazek wins back the full-time starter's job by mid-November.

Dylan Larkin needs to get back on track for stardom. Photo: Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports

Vegas Golden Knights Last season: Did not exist. Offseason report: Began existing. Outlook: The NHL has a long history of expansion teams being embarrassingly awful, but the Knights are the first new franchise in the current era of hyper-parity, so they probably won't be as bad as you might expect. That said, George McPhee seems to have assembled this roster with both eyes on the future, and any pre-draft optimism that the Knights could be a playoff contender right away seems misplaced. In the spotlight: Shea Theodore. The Knights drafted a ton of defensemen with the intention of trading several. So far that hasn't happened, creating a logjam that McPhee needs to address. Theodore is one of the few inaugural Knights who seems like he has a shot at developing into a genuine star, but he'll need to play to make that happen. Unlike the rest of the blue line, he can be sent to the minors without waivers, so it will be interesting to see whether the Knights are willing to bench veteran trade bait to let Theodore log NHL minutes. Oddly specific prediction: Only seven players from the 2017 opening night lineup are still on the roster one year later.

New Jersey Devils Last season: 28-40-14, 70 points, place, last place in the Metro, missed playoffs. Offseason report: They won the draft lottery and picked Nico Hischier with the first pick. They also landed Marcus Johansson from the Caps at a nice discount. Outlook: The Devils should be better than last year, but are very clearly rebuilding. They'll be more fun to watch than last year, at least. In the spotlight: Cory Schneider. You'll see a few goalies show up in this section, for obvious reasons. Schneider was supposed to be one of the few bright spots on the Devils last year, but instead he struggled. If that's a temporary blip, he'll be good enough to keep New Jersey in a lot of games. But if it's not, his $6-million deal that runs through 2022 could become a major headache for GM Ray Shero. Oddly specific prediction: Brian Boyle's Masterton speech is the best part of the 2018 NHL Awards.

Vancouver Canucks Last season: 30-43-9, 69 points, last in the Pacific, missed playoffs Offseason report: They fired Willie Desjardins and promoted AHL coach Travis Greene. The roster added a handful of useful veterans on low-risk deals, but starting goalie Ryan Miller left in free agency. Outlook: After some early hemming and hawing, the Canucks seem to have embraced a true rebuild. That's good news for the future, although it probably means another rough season ahead. In the spotlight: Bo Horvat. One of the few young players on the roster who seems like a potential star, Horvat just signed a six-year, $33-million extension that will shift fans' focus from his future to what he can do right now. Oddly specific prediction: The Sedins have now made it absolutely clear that they don't want to play anywhere else, which should delay the first round of trade rumors all the way back to late-October.

New York Islanders Last season: 41-29-12, 94 points, fifth in the Atlantic, missed the playoffs by one point Offseason report: They made two big trades, adding Jordan Eberle and shipping out Travis Hamonic. Outlook: Based on the last year, the Islanders are easily the best team in our Bottom Feeders division; if we're being honest, they should probably be one section down. But we need a seventh team, and the Islanders always seem like a team that could be on the verge of imploding. Enjoy sending me screen caps of this in May, Islander fans. In the spotlight: John Tavares. Another obvious call, sure, but there's no denying that all eyes are on Tavares right now. He didn't sign an extension, and heads into the season as a pending unrestricted free agent. He really is the franchise, so this has to get done. But it hasn't…yet. Oddly specific prediction: Josh Ho-Sang sticks around and is one of the year's breakout stories. He also says at least three things that make the oldest sportswriter in your town angry.

Middle of the Pack Division

These teams aren't the league's best, but they should be right in the middle of the playoff hunt. And as we saw last year, once you're in the postseason all bets are off.

New York Rangers Last season: 48-28-6, 102 points, Eastern wildcard, lost in the second round Offseason report: They bought out Dan Girardi and signed Kevin Shattenkirk to a big UFA deal. They also traded Stepan to the Coyotes for futures. Outlook: The Rangers went to the final in 2014 and have had three straight 100+ point seasons since then, so they're certainly in the Cup mix. But they seem to be shifting their view to the future rather than going all-in on the last few years of Henrik Lundqvist's window. In the spotlight: Lundqvist will turn 36 during the season, and the list of goalies who are still playing at an elite level at that age is a short one. It's certainly not unheard of, but Lundqvist is coming off a shaky season, and if/when his play dips further then the Rangers could be in big trouble. (Remember, dependable backup Antti Raanta went to the Coyotes in that Stepan deal.) Oddly specific prediction: Among a forward group that's talented but lacking a true star, Mika Zibanejad leads the team in scoring.

St. Louis Blues Last season: 46-29-7, 99 points, third in the Central, lost in the second round Offseason report: They didn't do much, although they landed Brayden Schenn from the Flyers in the league's annual "offseason deal you weirdly have no recollection of." Outlook: Last year was a strange one. Their coach quit a year in advance and then got fired anyway, goalie Jake Allen's midseason meltdown seemed to torpedo their season, and they sold at the deadline. But they made at least a little noise in the playoffs, so there's something to build on. In the spotlight: Schenn. He's never lived up to his pre-draft hype as a future superstar, but he's been a solid 50-point guy for a few years now. The Blues are hoping he can be a little bit more. Oddly specific prediction: Vladimir Tarasenko spends most of the season on pace for 50 goals before a late slump leaves him with 46.

San Jose Sharks Last season: 46-29-7, 99 points, third in Pacific, out in the first round Offseason report: They spent big to re-sign and extend guys like Martin Jones, Marc-Edouard Vlasic and Joe Thornton, but lost 20-year Sharks icon Patrick Marleau to Toronto. Outlook: The roster is a year older but otherwise largely the same as last season's, which would point to similar results. Playoffs? Sure. Another run at a championship? You never say never, but it's hard to see it. In the spotlight: Brent Burns. The reigning Norris winner is always fun. But now that he's 31 and his $8-million extension has kicked in, any sign of a decline will cause panic. Oddly specific prediction: The Sharks look mediocre by midseason, putting Joe Thornton firmly in the trade deadline spotlight. His one-year deal has a no-movement clause, but there's no better candidate for a Ray Bourque-style deal to a contender.

Brent Burns is fun. But he just got a lot more expensive. Photo: Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

Philadelphia Flyers Last season: 39-33-10, 88 points, sixth in the Metro, missed playoffs Offseason report: They replaced Steve Mason with Brian Elliott in goal, traded Schenn and drafted Nolan Patrick with the second overall pick. Outlook: After making the playoffs in 2016, last year was a step back. But the Flyers don't seem to have panicked, and are moving forward on a slow-and-steady rebuild. That should have them back in the playoff mix this season. In the spotlight: Claude Giroux. The captain has seen his points total drop three straight years, which isn't a great sign for a guy who's about to turn 30 and still has five years left on a deal with an $8.3 million cap hit. The team has been experimenting with moving him over from center to wing, which would be an adjustment but could give him a boost back towards his previous production levels. Oddly specific prediction: Ivan Provorov showed up on a few Calder ballots last season; this year, in only his second season, he gets a handful of Norris votes.

Ottawa Senators Last season: 44-28-10, 98 points, second in Atlantic, lost in Game 7 overtime of the conference finals Offseason report: They didn't do much beyond signing Johnny Oduya to replace Marc Methot, who was lost to expansion. Outlook: The Senators were a goal away from the final and are returning almost exactly the same roster. And yet, almost everyone seems to be picking them to regress, if not miss the playoffs entirely. In the spotlight: Thomas Chabot. He'll start the season in the AHL, which is a surprise, but he shouldn't stay there long. With Erik Karlsson's ankle sounding like a mess and Methot gone, it will put even more pressure on Chabot to contribute this year. He's one of the best blue line prospects in the league and a player that Senator fans have pinned a big chunk of their hope for the future on. We all assumed the future was now; instead, it's been delayed to "soon." Oddly specific prediction: Karlsson returns earlier than had been originally indicated just like every injured Senator always does, and we're still all somehow surprised.

Boston Bruins Last season: 44-31-7, 95 points, third in Atlantic, out in the first round Offseason report: One of the quietest in the league, other than finally getting David Pastrnak re-signed just before camp. Outlook: The Bruins have settled in as a mid-90s point team for three straight years, so they're a tough story to get overly excited about. But as the analytics folks would remind you, their underlying numbers last year were very good, and they could make for a sneaky pick to overachieve expectations. In the spotlight: Charlie McAvoy. At the risk of turning this into the "young defenseman" section, McAvoy is another talented (and heavily hyped) young blue-liner who has a chance to make an impact. He's never played a regular season game but got into the lineup for the playoffs and didn't look out of place. Oddly specific prediction: Brad Marchand fails to crack the 30-goal mark for the first time since 2014-15.

Carolina Hurricanes Last season: 36-31-15, 87 points, seventh in the Metro, missed playoffs Offseason report: After years of being held back by subpar goaltending, the Hurricanes went out and got Scott Darling from the Blackhawks. Outlook: In terms of last year's record, they're the worst team in this section. But Ron Francis has quietly put together a good young roster, one that features one of the better young blue lines in the league. In the spotlight: Darling, of course. He put up great numbers as the backup in Chicago, but has never been a full-time starter. If he's even above-average, the rest of the Hurricanes roster should be enough to get them into the playoffs. Oddly specific prediction: They end up flipping one of those young defensemen for forward help in the biggest pre-deadline trade of the season.

Calgary Flames Last season: 45-33-4, 94 points, fourth in the Pacific, swept in the first round Offseason report: The big change came in goal, where Elliott is out and Smith is in. They also added Hamonic, because they're apparently the only NHL team that realizes you're allowed to upgrade your blue line through trades. Outlook: Of any team in this group, the Flames seem like the one with the best shot at making the leap to the next level. With that blueline and plenty of young talent up front, it almost feels inevitable as long as the goaltending is better. And in theory it should be, since that was the offseason focus. Except…Mike Smith? The guy who peaked in 2011-12 and hasn't been more than average ever since? Sometimes a change of scenery can be enough to push a guy back to his peak. But it doesn't happen all that often to 34-year-old goalies. In the spotlight: Jaromir Jagr, who we found out today will be signing. He won't be the best player on the team or its most important, but the 45-year-old star should be all sorts of fun to watch. Or maybe sad. Definitely either fun or sad. Oddly specific prediction: Elliott puts up a better save percentage in Philadelphia than Smith can manage in Calgary.

***

That does it for the first half of the league. Tomorrow, we'll cover the remaining two divisions, and finish by predicting the final standings and making a Cup pick.

DGB NHL Season Preview: Bottom Feeders and Middle of the Pack published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

DGB NHL Season Preview: Bottom Feeders and Middle of the Pack

The start of the NHL regular season is just two days away. And there’s no better way to welcome the league back than with the biggest NHL VICE Sports season preview ever*!

(*In the sense that this preview has 31 teams. Every preview you read this year will technically be the biggest ever. But let’s not let reality get in the way of some good marketing. Biggest ever!)

As always, we’ll go division-by-division, but with a twist. Rather than use the NHL’s boring geography-based format, we’ll make up a few divisions of our own. Today, we’ll start with the Bottom Feeder Division and the Middle of the Pack Division. Tomorrow, we work our way up to the Contender Division, with a detour through the always-popular Your-Guess-Is-As-Good-As-Mine Division.

The Bottom Feeder Division

As a wise Canadian poet once said, you started from the bottom, now the whole team is…well, still at the bottom, if these predictions hold true. It’s hopeless, is what we’re saying.

Colorado Avalanche Last season: 22-56-4, 48 points, dead last, quite possibly the worst season of the salary cap era. Offseason report: Pretty quiet. Which, given how much work there is to do, was kind of strange. Outlook: Last year was a perfect storm—a bad roster full of players having bad seasons while getting pelted with bad luck. They have to be better. But yeah, they’ll still be bad. In the spotlight: Matt Duchene. Obvious choice is obvious, but Duchene is the story in Colorado right now. He clearly doesn’t want to be there, and there was even talk that he might hold out to force a trade. That didn’t happen, but at some point Joe Sakic has to stop kicking the can down the road and get this figured out. Duchene was awful after last year’s trade deadline; his play early this season will go a long way to determining whether Sakic can somehow pull a solid trade out of a miserable situation. Oddly specific prediction: Duchene is traded to the Blue Jackets, the return is underwhelming, and then we do this all over again with Gabriel Landeskog.

Arizona Coyotes Last season: 30-42-10, 70 points, sixth in the Pacific, missed playoffs Offseason report: They were busy adding legitimate NHL talent, like Derek Stepan and Niklas Hjalmarsson. Longtime captain Shane Doan retired, and goalie Mike Smith was traded. They also have a new coach, replacing Dave Tippett with Rick Tocchet. Outlook: Some teams in this division are starting rebuilds; the Coyotes appear to be almost finished theirs. There’s lots of young talent in place, and if any Bottom Feeder team is going to have a Maple Leafs-like leap directly from laughingstock to playoff contention, it’s the Coyotes. In the spotlight: Dylan Strome. The third overall pick in the 2015 draft has yet to have an NHL impact, playing just seven games, even as guys picked after him like Mitch Marner, Noah Hanifin, and Zach Werenski establish themselves. Nobody’s calling him a bust yet, but the clock is ticking. Some guys just take longer, and if Strome breaks out then the Coyotes go from being flush with young talent to absolutely stacked with it. But if not, he’ll face some tough questions. Oddly specific prediction: Strome is fine, but Clayton Keller is the Coyote who captures the Calder.

Detroit Red Wings Last season: 33-36-13, 79 points, seventh in the Atlantic, missed the playoffs for the first time since 1990. Offseason report: For once, they were fairly quiet, especially in free agency where GM Ken Holland usually loves to throw around terrible contracts. Outlook: The Wings had a great run, probably the greatest of the Bettman era. But now there’s a price to pay, as a team that spent years moving picks and prospects for immediate help now turns to the future with an underwhelming pipeline of young players. They can’t do a full teardown because of all those awful long-term contracts clogging the books, and they may not be as bad as many seem to think. But compared to what Red Wings fans are used to, it’s going to be rough. In the spotlight: Dylan Larkin. After a very strong rookie debut, Larkin saw his numbers dip across the board last year. As one of the few young building blocks already in place, he’ll be watched closely for signs that he’s back on track for stardom. Oddly specific prediction: After being left unprotected in the expansion draft, Petr Mrazek wins back the full-time starter’s job by mid-November.

Dylan Larkin needs to get back on track for stardom. Photo: Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports

Vegas Golden Knights Last season: Did not exist. Offseason report: Began existing. Outlook: The NHL has a long history of expansion teams being embarrassingly awful, but the Knights are the first new franchise in the current era of hyper-parity, so they probably won’t be as bad as you might expect. That said, George McPhee seems to have assembled this roster with both eyes on the future, and any pre-draft optimism that the Knights could be a playoff contender right away seems misplaced. In the spotlight: Shea Theodore. The Knights drafted a ton of defensemen with the intention of trading several. So far that hasn’t happened, creating a logjam that McPhee needs to address. Theodore is one of the few inaugural Knights who seems like he has a shot at developing into a genuine star, but he’ll need to play to make that happen. Unlike the rest of the blue line, he can be sent to the minors without waivers, so it will be interesting to see whether the Knights are willing to bench veteran trade bait to let Theodore log NHL minutes. Oddly specific prediction: Only seven players from the 2017 opening night lineup are still on the roster one year later.

New Jersey Devils Last season: 28-40-14, 70 points, place, last place in the Metro, missed playoffs. Offseason report: They won the draft lottery and picked Nico Hischier with the first pick. They also landed Marcus Johansson from the Caps at a nice discount. Outlook: The Devils should be better than last year, but are very clearly rebuilding. They’ll be more fun to watch than last year, at least. In the spotlight: Cory Schneider. You’ll see a few goalies show up in this section, for obvious reasons. Schneider was supposed to be one of the few bright spots on the Devils last year, but instead he struggled. If that’s a temporary blip, he’ll be good enough to keep New Jersey in a lot of games. But if it’s not, his $6-million deal that runs through 2022 could become a major headache for GM Ray Shero. Oddly specific prediction: Brian Boyle’s Masterton speech is the best part of the 2018 NHL Awards.

Vancouver Canucks Last season: 30-43-9, 69 points, last in the Pacific, missed playoffs Offseason report: They fired Willie Desjardins and promoted AHL coach Travis Greene. The roster added a handful of useful veterans on low-risk deals, but starting goalie Ryan Miller left in free agency. Outlook: After some early hemming and hawing, the Canucks seem to have embraced a true rebuild. That’s good news for the future, although it probably means another rough season ahead. In the spotlight: Bo Horvat. One of the few young players on the roster who seems like a potential star, Horvat just signed a six-year, $33-million extension that will shift fans’ focus from his future to what he can do right now. Oddly specific prediction: The Sedins have now made it absolutely clear that they don’t want to play anywhere else, which should delay the first round of trade rumors all the way back to late-October.

New York Islanders Last season: 41-29-12, 94 points, fifth in the Atlantic, missed the playoffs by one point Offseason report: They made two big trades, adding Jordan Eberle and shipping out Travis Hamonic. Outlook: Based on the last year, the Islanders are easily the best team in our Bottom Feeders division; if we’re being honest, they should probably be one section down. But we need a seventh team, and the Islanders always seem like a team that could be on the verge of imploding. Enjoy sending me screen caps of this in May, Islander fans. In the spotlight: John Tavares. Another obvious call, sure, but there’s no denying that all eyes are on Tavares right now. He didn’t sign an extension, and heads into the season as a pending unrestricted free agent. He really is the franchise, so this has to get done. But it hasn’t…yet. Oddly specific prediction: Josh Ho-Sang sticks around and is one of the year’s breakout stories. He also says at least three things that make the oldest sportswriter in your town angry.

Middle of the Pack Division

These teams aren’t the league’s best, but they should be right in the middle of the playoff hunt. And as we saw last year, once you’re in the postseason all bets are off.

New York Rangers Last season: 48-28-6, 102 points, Eastern wildcard, lost in the second round Offseason report: They bought out Dan Girardi and signed Kevin Shattenkirk to a big UFA deal. They also traded Stepan to the Coyotes for futures. Outlook: The Rangers went to the final in 2014 and have had three straight 100+ point seasons since then, so they’re certainly in the Cup mix. But they seem to be shifting their view to the future rather than going all-in on the last few years of Henrik Lundqvist’s window. In the spotlight: Lundqvist will turn 36 during the season, and the list of goalies who are still playing at an elite level at that age is a short one. It’s certainly not unheard of, but Lundqvist is coming off a shaky season, and if/when his play dips further then the Rangers could be in big trouble. (Remember, dependable backup Antti Raanta went to the Coyotes in that Stepan deal.) Oddly specific prediction: Among a forward group that’s talented but lacking a true star, Mika Zibanejad leads the team in scoring.

St. Louis Blues Last season: 46-29-7, 99 points, third in the Central, lost in the second round Offseason report: They didn’t do much, although they landed Brayden Schenn from the Flyers in the league’s annual “offseason deal you weirdly have no recollection of.” Outlook: Last year was a strange one. Their coach quit a year in advance and then got fired anyway, goalie Jake Allen’s midseason meltdown seemed to torpedo their season, and they sold at the deadline. But they made at least a little noise in the playoffs, so there’s something to build on. In the spotlight: Schenn. He’s never lived up to his pre-draft hype as a future superstar, but he’s been a solid 50-point guy for a few years now. The Blues are hoping he can be a little bit more. Oddly specific prediction: Vladimir Tarasenko spends most of the season on pace for 50 goals before a late slump leaves him with 46.

San Jose Sharks Last season: 46-29-7, 99 points, third in Pacific, out in the first round Offseason report: They spent big to re-sign and extend guys like Martin Jones, Marc-Edouard Vlasic and Joe Thornton, but lost 20-year Sharks icon Patrick Marleau to Toronto. Outlook: The roster is a year older but otherwise largely the same as last season’s, which would point to similar results. Playoffs? Sure. Another run at a championship? You never say never, but it’s hard to see it. In the spotlight: Brent Burns. The reigning Norris winner is always fun. But now that he’s 31 and his $8-million extension has kicked in, any sign of a decline will cause panic. Oddly specific prediction: The Sharks look mediocre by midseason, putting Joe Thornton firmly in the trade deadline spotlight. His one-year deal has a no-movement clause, but there’s no better candidate for a Ray Bourque-style deal to a contender.

Brent Burns is fun. But he just got a lot more expensive. Photo: Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

Philadelphia Flyers Last season: 39-33-10, 88 points, sixth in the Metro, missed playoffs Offseason report: They replaced Steve Mason with Brian Elliott in goal, traded Schenn and drafted Nolan Patrick with the second overall pick. Outlook: After making the playoffs in 2016, last year was a step back. But the Flyers don’t seem to have panicked, and are moving forward on a slow-and-steady rebuild. That should have them back in the playoff mix this season. In the spotlight: Claude Giroux. The captain has seen his points total drop three straight years, which isn’t a great sign for a guy who’s about to turn 30 and still has five years left on a deal with an $8.3 million cap hit. The team has been experimenting with moving him over from center to wing, which would be an adjustment but could give him a boost back towards his previous production levels. Oddly specific prediction: Ivan Provorov showed up on a few Calder ballots last season; this year, in only his second season, he gets a handful of Norris votes.

Ottawa Senators Last season: 44-28-10, 98 points, second in Atlantic, lost in Game 7 overtime of the conference finals Offseason report: They didn’t do much beyond signing Johnny Oduya to replace Marc Methot, who was lost to expansion. Outlook: The Senators were a goal away from the final and are returning almost exactly the same roster. And yet, almost everyone seems to be picking them to regress, if not miss the playoffs entirely. In the spotlight: Thomas Chabot. He’ll start the season in the AHL, which is a surprise, but he shouldn’t stay there long. With Erik Karlsson’s ankle sounding like a mess and Methot gone, it will put even more pressure on Chabot to contribute this year. He’s one of the best blue line prospects in the league and a player that Senator fans have pinned a big chunk of their hope for the future on. We all assumed the future was now; instead, it’s been delayed to “soon.” Oddly specific prediction: Karlsson returns earlier than had been originally indicated just like every injured Senator always does, and we’re still all somehow surprised.

Boston Bruins Last season: 44-31-7, 95 points, third in Atlantic, out in the first round Offseason report: One of the quietest in the league, other than finally getting David Pastrnak re-signed just before camp. Outlook: The Bruins have settled in as a mid-90s point team for three straight years, so they’re a tough story to get overly excited about. But as the analytics folks would remind you, their underlying numbers last year were very good, and they could make for a sneaky pick to overachieve expectations. In the spotlight: Charlie McAvoy. At the risk of turning this into the “young defenseman” section, McAvoy is another talented (and heavily hyped) young blue-liner who has a chance to make an impact. He’s never played a regular season game but got into the lineup for the playoffs and didn’t look out of place. Oddly specific prediction: Brad Marchand fails to crack the 30-goal mark for the first time since 2014-15.

Carolina Hurricanes Last season: 36-31-15, 87 points, seventh in the Metro, missed playoffs Offseason report: After years of being held back by subpar goaltending, the Hurricanes went out and got Scott Darling from the Blackhawks. Outlook: In terms of last year’s record, they’re the worst team in this section. But Ron Francis has quietly put together a good young roster, one that features one of the better young blue lines in the league. In the spotlight: Darling, of course. He put up great numbers as the backup in Chicago, but has never been a full-time starter. If he’s even above-average, the rest of the Hurricanes roster should be enough to get them into the playoffs. Oddly specific prediction: They end up flipping one of those young defensemen for forward help in the biggest pre-deadline trade of the season.

Calgary Flames Last season: 45-33-4, 94 points, fourth in the Pacific, swept in the first round Offseason report: The big change came in goal, where Elliott is out and Smith is in. They also added Hamonic, because they’re apparently the only NHL team that realizes you’re allowed to upgrade your blue line through trades. Outlook: Of any team in this group, the Flames seem like the one with the best shot at making the leap to the next level. With that blueline and plenty of young talent up front, it almost feels inevitable as long as the goaltending is better. And in theory it should be, since that was the offseason focus. Except…Mike Smith? The guy who peaked in 2011-12 and hasn’t been more than average ever since? Sometimes a change of scenery can be enough to push a guy back to his peak. But it doesn’t happen all that often to 34-year-old goalies. In the spotlight: Jaromir Jagr, who we found out today will be signing. He won’t be the best player on the team or its most important, but the 45-year-old star should be all sorts of fun to watch. Or maybe sad. Definitely either fun or sad. Oddly specific prediction: Elliott puts up a better save percentage in Philadelphia than Smith can manage in Calgary.

***

That does it for the first half of the league. Tomorrow, we’ll cover the remaining two divisions, and finish by predicting the final standings and making a Cup pick.

DGB NHL Season Preview: Bottom Feeders and Middle of the Pack syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

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DGB NHL Season Preview: Bottom Feeders and Middle of the Pack

The start of the NHL regular season is just two days away. And there's no better way to welcome the league back than with the biggest NHL VICE Sports season preview ever*!

(*In the sense that this preview has 31 teams. Every preview you read this year will technically be the biggest ever. But let's not let reality get in the way of some good marketing. Biggest ever!)

As always, we'll go division-by-division, but with a twist. Rather than use the NHL's boring geography-based format, we'll make up a few divisions of our own. Today, we'll start with the Bottom Feeder Division and the Middle of the Pack Division. Tomorrow, we work our way up to the Contender Division, with a detour through the always-popular Your-Guess-Is-As-Good-As-Mine Division.

The Bottom Feeder Division

As a wise Canadian poet once said, you started from the bottom, now the whole team is…well, still at the bottom, if these predictions hold true. It's hopeless, is what we're saying.

Colorado Avalanche Last season: 22-56-4, 48 points, dead last, quite possibly the worst season of the salary cap era. Offseason report: Pretty quiet. Which, given how much work there is to do, was kind of strange. Outlook: Last year was a perfect storm—a bad roster full of players having bad seasons while getting pelted with bad luck. They have to be better. But yeah, they'll still be bad. In the spotlight: Matt Duchene. Obvious choice is obvious, but Duchene is the story in Colorado right now. He clearly doesn't want to be there, and there was even talk that he might hold out to force a trade. That didn't happen, but at some point Joe Sakic has to stop kicking the can down the road and get this figured out. Duchene was awful after last year's trade deadline; his play early this season will go a long way to determining whether Sakic can somehow pull a solid trade out of a miserable situation. Oddly specific prediction: Duchene is traded to the Blue Jackets, the return is underwhelming, and then we do this all over again with Gabriel Landeskog.

Arizona Coyotes Last season: 30-42-10, 70 points, sixth in the Pacific, missed playoffs Offseason report: They were busy adding legitimate NHL talent, like Derek Stepan and Niklas Hjalmarsson. Longtime captain Shane Doan retired, and goalie Mike Smith was traded. They also have a new coach, replacing Dave Tippett with Rick Tocchet. Outlook: Some teams in this division are starting rebuilds; the Coyotes appear to be almost finished theirs. There's lots of young talent in place, and if any Bottom Feeder team is going to have a Maple Leafs-like leap directly from laughingstock to playoff contention, it's the Coyotes. In the spotlight: Dylan Strome. The third overall pick in the 2015 draft has yet to have an NHL impact, playing just seven games, even as guys picked after him like Mitch Marner, Noah Hanifin, and Zach Werenski establish themselves. Nobody's calling him a bust yet, but the clock is ticking. Some guys just take longer, and if Strome breaks out then the Coyotes go from being flush with young talent to absolutely stacked with it. But if not, he'll face some tough questions. Oddly specific prediction: Strome is fine, but Clayton Keller is the Coyote who captures the Calder.

Detroit Red Wings Last season: 33-36-13, 79 points, seventh in the Atlantic, missed the playoffs for the first time since 1990. Offseason report: For once, they were fairly quiet, especially in free agency where GM Ken Holland usually loves to throw around terrible contracts. Outlook: The Wings had a great run, probably the greatest of the Bettman era. But now there's a price to pay, as a team that spent years moving picks and prospects for immediate help now turns to the future with an underwhelming pipeline of young players. They can't do a full teardown because of all those awful long-term contracts clogging the books, and they may not be as bad as many seem to think. But compared to what Red Wings fans are used to, it's going to be rough. In the spotlight: Dylan Larkin. After a very strong rookie debut, Larkin saw his numbers dip across the board last year. As one of the few young building blocks already in place, he'll be watched closely for signs that he's back on track for stardom. Oddly specific prediction: After being left unprotected in the expansion draft, Petr Mrazek wins back the full-time starter's job by mid-November.

Dylan Larkin needs to get back on track for stardom. Photo: Bob DeChiara-USA TODAY Sports

Vegas Golden Knights Last season: Did not exist. Offseason report: Began existing. Outlook: The NHL has a long history of expansion teams being embarrassingly awful, but the Knights are the first new franchise in the current era of hyper-parity, so they probably won't be as bad as you might expect. That said, George McPhee seems to have assembled this roster with both eyes on the future, and any pre-draft optimism that the Knights could be a playoff contender right away seems misplaced. In the spotlight: Shea Theodore. The Knights drafted a ton of defensemen with the intention of trading several. So far that hasn't happened, creating a logjam that McPhee needs to address. Theodore is one of the few inaugural Knights who seems like he has a shot at developing into a genuine star, but he'll need to play to make that happen. Unlike the rest of the blue line, he can be sent to the minors without waivers, so it will be interesting to see whether the Knights are willing to bench veteran trade bait to let Theodore log NHL minutes. Oddly specific prediction: Only seven players from the 2017 opening night lineup are still on the roster one year later.

New Jersey Devils Last season: 28-40-14, 70 points, place, last place in the Metro, missed playoffs. Offseason report: They won the draft lottery and picked Nico Hischier with the first pick. They also landed Marcus Johansson from the Caps at a nice discount. Outlook: The Devils should be better than last year, but are very clearly rebuilding. They'll be more fun to watch than last year, at least. In the spotlight: Cory Schneider. You'll see a few goalies show up in this section, for obvious reasons. Schneider was supposed to be one of the few bright spots on the Devils last year, but instead he struggled. If that's a temporary blip, he'll be good enough to keep New Jersey in a lot of games. But if it's not, his $6-million deal that runs through 2022 could become a major headache for GM Ray Shero. Oddly specific prediction: Brian Boyle's Masterton speech is the best part of the 2018 NHL Awards.

Vancouver Canucks Last season: 30-43-9, 69 points, last in the Pacific, missed playoffs Offseason report: They fired Willie Desjardins and promoted AHL coach Travis Greene. The roster added a handful of useful veterans on low-risk deals, but starting goalie Ryan Miller left in free agency. Outlook: After some early hemming and hawing, the Canucks seem to have embraced a true rebuild. That's good news for the future, although it probably means another rough season ahead. In the spotlight: Bo Horvat. One of the few young players on the roster who seems like a potential star, Horvat just signed a six-year, $33-million extension that will shift fans' focus from his future to what he can do right now. Oddly specific prediction: The Sedins have now made it absolutely clear that they don't want to play anywhere else, which should delay the first round of trade rumors all the way back to late-October.

New York Islanders Last season: 41-29-12, 94 points, fifth in the Atlantic, missed the playoffs by one point Offseason report: They made two big trades, adding Jordan Eberle and shipping out Travis Hamonic. Outlook: Based on the last year, the Islanders are easily the best team in our Bottom Feeders division; if we're being honest, they should probably be one section down. But we need a seventh team, and the Islanders always seem like a team that could be on the verge of imploding. Enjoy sending me screen caps of this in May, Islander fans. In the spotlight: John Tavares. Another obvious call, sure, but there's no denying that all eyes are on Tavares right now. He didn't sign an extension, and heads into the season as a pending unrestricted free agent. He really is the franchise, so this has to get done. But it hasn't…yet. Oddly specific prediction: Josh Ho-Sang sticks around and is one of the year's breakout stories. He also says at least three things that make the oldest sportswriter in your town angry.

Middle of the Pack Division

These teams aren't the league's best, but they should be right in the middle of the playoff hunt. And as we saw last year, once you're in the postseason all bets are off.

New York Rangers Last season: 48-28-6, 102 points, Eastern wildcard, lost in the second round Offseason report: They bought out Dan Girardi and signed Kevin Shattenkirk to a big UFA deal. They also traded Stepan to the Coyotes for futures. Outlook: The Rangers went to the final in 2014 and have had three straight 100+ point seasons since then, so they're certainly in the Cup mix. But they seem to be shifting their view to the future rather than going all-in on the last few years of Henrik Lundqvist's window. In the spotlight: Lundqvist will turn 36 during the season, and the list of goalies who are still playing at an elite level at that age is a short one. It's certainly not unheard of, but Lundqvist is coming off a shaky season, and if/when his play dips further then the Rangers could be in big trouble. (Remember, dependable backup Antti Raanta went to the Coyotes in that Stepan deal.) Oddly specific prediction: Among a forward group that's talented but lacking a true star, Mika Zibanejad leads the team in scoring.

St. Louis Blues Last season: 46-29-7, 99 points, third in the Central, lost in the second round Offseason report: They didn't do much, although they landed Brayden Schenn from the Flyers in the league's annual "offseason deal you weirdly have no recollection of." Outlook: Last year was a strange one. Their coach quit a year in advance and then got fired anyway, goalie Jake Allen's midseason meltdown seemed to torpedo their season, and they sold at the deadline. But they made at least a little noise in the playoffs, so there's something to build on. In the spotlight: Schenn. He's never lived up to his pre-draft hype as a future superstar, but he's been a solid 50-point guy for a few years now. The Blues are hoping he can be a little bit more. Oddly specific prediction: Vladimir Tarasenko spends most of the season on pace for 50 goals before a late slump leaves him with 46.

San Jose Sharks Last season: 46-29-7, 99 points, third in Pacific, out in the first round Offseason report: They spent big to re-sign and extend guys like Martin Jones, Marc-Edouard Vlasic and Joe Thornton, but lost 20-year Sharks icon Patrick Marleau to Toronto. Outlook: The roster is a year older but otherwise largely the same as last season's, which would point to similar results. Playoffs? Sure. Another run at a championship? You never say never, but it's hard to see it. In the spotlight: Brent Burns. The reigning Norris winner is always fun. But now that he's 31 and his $8-million extension has kicked in, any sign of a decline will cause panic. Oddly specific prediction: The Sharks look mediocre by midseason, putting Joe Thornton firmly in the trade deadline spotlight. His one-year deal has a no-movement clause, but there's no better candidate for a Ray Bourque-style deal to a contender.

Brent Burns is fun. But he just got a lot more expensive. Photo: Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

Philadelphia Flyers Last season: 39-33-10, 88 points, sixth in the Metro, missed playoffs Offseason report: They replaced Steve Mason with Brian Elliott in goal, traded Schenn and drafted Nolan Patrick with the second overall pick. Outlook: After making the playoffs in 2016, last year was a step back. But the Flyers don't seem to have panicked, and are moving forward on a slow-and-steady rebuild. That should have them back in the playoff mix this season. In the spotlight: Claude Giroux. The captain has seen his points total drop three straight years, which isn't a great sign for a guy who's about to turn 30 and still has five years left on a deal with an $8.3 million cap hit. The team has been experimenting with moving him over from center to wing, which would be an adjustment but could give him a boost back towards his previous production levels. Oddly specific prediction: Ivan Provorov showed up on a few Calder ballots last season; this year, in only his second season, he gets a handful of Norris votes.

Ottawa Senators Last season: 44-28-10, 98 points, second in Atlantic, lost in Game 7 overtime of the conference finals Offseason report: They didn't do much beyond signing Johnny Oduya to replace Marc Methot, who was lost to expansion. Outlook: The Senators were a goal away from the final and are returning almost exactly the same roster. And yet, almost everyone seems to be picking them to regress, if not miss the playoffs entirely. In the spotlight: Thomas Chabot. He'll start the season in the AHL, which is a surprise, but he shouldn't stay there long. With Erik Karlsson's ankle sounding like a mess and Methot gone, it will put even more pressure on Chabot to contribute this year. He's one of the best blue line prospects in the league and a player that Senator fans have pinned a big chunk of their hope for the future on. We all assumed the future was now; instead, it's been delayed to "soon." Oddly specific prediction: Karlsson returns earlier than had been originally indicated just like every injured Senator always does, and we're still all somehow surprised.

Boston Bruins Last season: 44-31-7, 95 points, third in Atlantic, out in the first round Offseason report: One of the quietest in the league, other than finally getting David Pastrnak re-signed just before camp. Outlook: The Bruins have settled in as a mid-90s point team for three straight years, so they're a tough story to get overly excited about. But as the analytics folks would remind you, their underlying numbers last year were very good, and they could make for a sneaky pick to overachieve expectations. In the spotlight: Charlie McAvoy. At the risk of turning this into the "young defenseman" section, McAvoy is another talented (and heavily hyped) young blue-liner who has a chance to make an impact. He's never played a regular season game but got into the lineup for the playoffs and didn't look out of place. Oddly specific prediction: Brad Marchand fails to crack the 30-goal mark for the first time since 2014-15.

Carolina Hurricanes Last season: 36-31-15, 87 points, seventh in the Metro, missed playoffs Offseason report: After years of being held back by subpar goaltending, the Hurricanes went out and got Scott Darling from the Blackhawks. Outlook: In terms of last year's record, they're the worst team in this section. But Ron Francis has quietly put together a good young roster, one that features one of the better young blue lines in the league. In the spotlight: Darling, of course. He put up great numbers as the backup in Chicago, but has never been a full-time starter. If he's even above-average, the rest of the Hurricanes roster should be enough to get them into the playoffs. Oddly specific prediction: They end up flipping one of those young defensemen for forward help in the biggest pre-deadline trade of the season.

Calgary Flames Last season: 45-33-4, 94 points, fourth in the Pacific, swept in the first round Offseason report: The big change came in goal, where Elliott is out and Smith is in. They also added Hamonic, because they're apparently the only NHL team that realizes you're allowed to upgrade your blue line through trades. Outlook: Of any team in this group, the Flames seem like the one with the best shot at making the leap to the next level. With that blueline and plenty of young talent up front, it almost feels inevitable as long as the goaltending is better. And in theory it should be, since that was the offseason focus. Except…Mike Smith? The guy who peaked in 2011-12 and hasn't been more than average ever since? Sometimes a change of scenery can be enough to push a guy back to his peak. But it doesn't happen all that often to 34-year-old goalies. In the spotlight: Jaromir Jagr, who we found out today will be signing. He won't be the best player on the team or its most important, but the 45-year-old star should be all sorts of fun to watch. Or maybe sad. Definitely either fun or sad. Oddly specific prediction: Elliott puts up a better save percentage in Philadelphia than Smith can manage in Calgary.

***

That does it for the first half of the league. Tomorrow, we'll cover the remaining two divisions, and finish by predicting the final standings and making a Cup pick.

DGB NHL Season Preview: Bottom Feeders and Middle of the Pack published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv