#tech is an ass man thanks for coming to my ted talk

[jetii]

Hello! I was wondering if I could 36 NSFW with Tech x fem!reader? Maybe where he said that nobody really gave him a challenge at the game, and readers ego is too high to back down from that offer even though she loses horribly. Established relationship perhaps? Also, I love your writing it’s amazing! You deserve all the love and followers

Hiii I'm so happy you requested this!!! I've been addicted to playing Kessel Sabacc in SW Outlaws for the past few weeks, and I was just waiting for the opportunity to work my knowledge into a fic. Literally wrote this as soon as I saw it in my inbox.

I consider this reader the same as the one from On Impulse if anyone cares!

Strategy

Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader

Words: 5,069

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! fluff, smut, established relationship, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, light dom Tech, rough (but affectionate) sex

Prompt: 36. “I don’t know why you’re complaining, you’re the one that wanted to play strip Sabacc.”

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"Pure sabacc," you announce, throwing down your cards and leaning back in your chair. A relieved grin spreads across your face at Tech's expression. His mouth is a thin line and his eyes are squinted, but there's an exasperated glint in them.

"Yes, I know," he grumbles, dropping his own cards on the table. Tech isn't a sore loser, but he is a competitive one. And the fact that this is the second hand you've won in a row is definitely irking him.

You snatch up his discarded cards and start to shuffle. "What was that about me never winning a round?"

"It is an anomaly," Tech states emotionlessly.

"And you've done the calculations to prove it, haven't you?"

He doesn't answer.

"Well, maybe I'm just lucky tonight." You cross your arms, reveling in his annoyance. "You know, I was beginning to think you were cheating with all the times you've been winning."

Tech rolls his eyes, but you can tell he's fighting off a smirk.

"I wouldn't cheat. Besides, I don't need to. My superior memory allows me to calculate the chances of each outcome with ease, making me naturally skilled at the game. Whereas you," he continues, leaning across the table and resting his elbows on it, "must rely on luck, because your memory is abysmal. It's no surprise you've been losing so often."

"Hey!" you protest, tossing a card at him. It flutters through the air, but he catches it before it hits his goggles.

Tech leans forward, the card trapped between his index and middle finger. "I am merely pointing out the facts, darling."

You snatch the card from him and return it to the deck, refusing to meet his smug gaze. He's trying to distract you, and he knows it's working.

"You can't always rely on the facts," you say, dealing the cards out once again.

"I don't. I also use strategy. Which you should try, seeing as it would certainly help you win."

"Strategy?"

"Yes, like—"

"Like how you're trying to distract me by insulting my memory?"

Tech huffs a breathy laugh and tilts his chin down. "Is it working?"

"Absolutely not." You glance down at your cards, trying your best not to smirk at your hand. Another sylop. The deck is stacked in your favor this round, and you have a perfect chance of beating Tech.

"What do you say we make this more interesting?" you propose, watching Tech's head tilt in curiosity.

He places a chip down and draws a card before his eyes dart back to yours. "I'm listening."

"Strip sabacc."

Tech's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, and he almost drops the cards he's holding. "I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me," you tease, setting your cards down. "Whoever loses a round has to remove an item of clothing. If you lose all your clothes before I do, I win. If I lose mine first, you win. Deal?"

He takes a moment to contemplate the suggestion, a faint blush coloring his cheeks, and his eyes narrow, calculating the possibilities. When his lips curve into a smirk, you know he's made up his mind.

"Deal," he agrees, nodding once and adjusting his goggles. He lays down his cards face up—pair of ones. You frown at your own hand and drop them onto the table.

"Oh, come on! Again?"

Tech chuckles, leaning back in his seat. "I believe you're the one who suggested this game. Now, please, take off an item of clothing."

The cockiness in his tone sends a shiver down your spine, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes. Tech may be a terrible flirt, but his confidence in himself is incredibly sexy.

You slip your boots off and kick them under the table, then lean back in your chair and cross your arms. Tech's eyes are locked on you, a devious smile playing at his lips.

"Now who's distracted?" you taunt, winking at him.

"Hardly," he answers. But you can see the flush on his face and the way his chest is rising and falling just a little bit faster than usual. He's excited, and he's trying to hide it.

“You know, you’re wearing a lot more clothes than I am," you argue, leaning forward on the table and batting your eyelashes innocently. “You should take off an item, too, for fairness' sake."

"Fine." He pulls his boots off and drops them onto the floor. "Happy now?"

"Very."

Tech picks up the deck and shuffles the cards, the corners of his lips turning up.

"This was your plan, wasn't it?" he asks.

"My plan was to finally win a game of sabacc against you. And maybe see you with less clothes on, but that's an added bonus."

Tech chuckles and slides the cards toward you, his eyes burning into yours. "You are very devious. Now, deal the cards, darling."

You quickly learn that the stakes have made the game a lot more fun. Your heart races as the tension between the two of you rises, each of you sneaking glances at the other while pretending not to. And it doesn't take long for Tech to get the upper hand, much to your dismay.

"I told you," he teases, smirking at you over his cards, "my superior memory allows me to calculate the probability—"

"Yeah, yeah, you don't need to brag," you interrupt, rolling your eyes. You draw another card, cursing when it doesn't help you in the slightest.

“I don’t know why you’re complaining, you’re the one that wanted to play strip Sabacc," he says. You look up at Tech to see he's staring at his own cards, but the slight smile playing on his lips tells you he's aware of your annoyance.

You can't argue with that. You're the one that proposed the idea, and you're the one that can’t seem to stop losing, so now you're the one sitting on the ship with no shoes, socks, or a shirt, leaving only your pants and undergarments. Meanwhile, Tech has only removed his gloves and belt.

He places his cards face-up on the table, revealing another pure sabacc.

"Dammit," you sigh, throwing your own cards onto the table. "Again."

"Strip," Tech commands, and there's a huskiness to his voice that wasn't there before. His eyes are dark and intense as they follow your every move, and his mouth is curved in a devilish smile.

"Are you enjoying this?" you ask, unbuttoning your pants and standing from the chair.

"Immensely," he admits, his eyes not straying from you.

Heat spreads throughout your body at the intensity of his gaze. He watches with bated breath as you push the fabric down your legs, revealing the soft skin of your thighs, and he licks his lips subconsciously. The pants pool around your feet, and you kick them under the table before returning to your seat.

"Now who's the distracted one?"

"Not distracted," Tech replies, his eyes meeting yours. "Appreciating."

His words are heavy and sultry, and you can't stop the flush that colors your cheeks.

"You can appreciate me better if you lose another round," you tell him, shuffling the cards once again.

Tech's eyes narrow. "I think I'd prefer to watch you lose a few more."

The cockiness in his voice goes straight to your core, and a heat pools in your abdomen. Tech doesn't break eye contact, his stare intense and challenging, and a thrill shoots through you at the thought of what he could be thinking.

"I guess we'll see," you tell him, smirking.

You deal the cards, and Tech immediately throws a chip down, drawing his next card. A satisfied smile curves his lips. He's not even trying to hide his glee at your frustration, and it's infuriating.

You throw a chip onto your pile, drawing a card and praying that the Force will be on your side this round. You peek at the numbers and symbols on the card, and the disappointment is instant. It's the worst possible combination—a six and one. And you're out of chips.

When Tech sets his cards down, he does so slowly, drawing out the moment and relishing in your scowl.

You sigh, dropping your useless cards, and Tech's eyes brighten at the sight.

"Well, would you look at that?" he says, his voice filled with fake innocence. "I believe that's five in a row for me."

"No shit, really?" you mutter, rolling your eyes. "I had no idea."

He leans forward and rests his elbows on the table, his hands folded together and his chin resting on top. "Strip."

It's the way he says it, like a command. His voice is low and gravelly, and you feel yourself getting wetter at the tone. He's so sure of himself, so cocky, and it's driving you wild.

"Do I have to?" you ask, batting your eyelashes at him.

Tech's eyes narrow in on you. "Yes."

You stand and unclasp your bra, letting the straps fall down your shoulders and slipping it off your arms. The cold air makes your nipples harden instantly, and his eyes widen when he sees them. He stares for a moment, taking in the view, and then his tongue darts out and licks his lips.

"I must admit, I'm finding this game more enjoyable than I originally thought," he says, his voice thick.

"Only because you're winning."

He hums in agreement and deals the next hand, a sly smirk playing on his lips. Throughout the round, Tech's eyes keep flicking back and forth between the cards and your chest, and you have to bite back a smile. He's trying so hard to concentrate, and his obvious struggle is adorable.

Tech's confidence fades as the round progresses, and by the time he sets his cards down, he isn't wearing his usual cocky smile. His mouth is pressed into a thin line and his eyebrows are knitted together when he shows you his hand.

"What's wrong, Tech?" you tease, leaning back in your seat. "Disappointed that you lost?"

"Of course not," he scoffs. "I've already calculated the possibilities and I know how this will end. I have no doubt that I will win."

"Then why are you pouting?"

"I am not pouting."

"Uh-huh. Well, whatever the reason, it's time for you to remove some clothes."

Tech sighs and slips off his goggles. His warm eyes meet yours, and you notice that they're slightly glazed over.

"There," he grumbles, pushing the goggles across the table toward you. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic," you reply, a wide smile on your face.

Your eyes rake over him, taking in his appearance. It’s rare that you get to see him this way, and you savor the moment. Tech has always been handsome, but the way he looks right now, with his hair mussed and a blush coloring his cheeks, is absolutely enticing.

You pick up the deck and shuffle it, and the sound of the cards sliding together is the only noise in the room. Tech's eyes are fixed on your bare chest, and his throat bobs when he swallows.

"Like what you see?" you ask, raising a brow.

"Always."

Your cheeks flush, and you deal the cards. The anticipation is killing you, and the smugness that Tech was showing before is long gone. He seems eager to get the game over with, and the impatience in his demeanor is refreshing.

His eyes flick back and forth between the cards and the pile, and his face gives nothing away. You're desperate to know what his hand is, and it's taking every ounce of willpower not to peek.

He reaches across the table and throws a chip down, his brow furrowing. It's such a subtle change in his expression, and most people would miss it. But you know Tech well enough to understand his emotions, and right now he's frustrated.

Your heartbeat quickens as you draw a card. Another three to match the one already in your hand. Not great, but it's enough to win if Tech doesn't have a better sabacc.

"What are you thinking about?" you ask him, watching as his eyes move from his cards to yours and back again.

"Strategy," he mutters.

"What kind of strategy?"

"The type of strategy that will guarantee my victory,” he says. His eyes are determined and his jaw is clenched. He glances up from his cards to meet your gaze, and the fire in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine.

"Show me your cards," he demands.

You do as he asks, laying the two twos face-up on the table. The look he gives you is nothing short of prideful, and your heart drops.

"You've got to be kidding me," you groan.

Tech reveals his own cards—a sylop and a one. You let out an exasperated huff, and he chuckles.

"Well," he starts, placing his cards on the table and leaning back in his chair. His gaze travels over your body, and his smirk widens. "Go on."

Your cheeks heat up under his scrutinizing stare, and a part of you wants to rebel and refuse to comply. But Tech looks so damn good right now, his eyes filled with mischief, and the excitement coursing through you is too much.

"You're having too much fun," you say, your voice low.

"I'd have more fun if you'd hurry up and finish this little game of ours," Tech retorts.

 You're about to give him a smart retort, but then you notice the way he shifts in his seat. It's subtle, and you doubt he even realizes it, but it's there. The tightening of his thighs, the slight twitch of his hands. He's just as turned on as you are.

And you decide to play into it.

"I'm in no rush." You stand, slowly, and let your hands travel down the expanse of your chest, cupping your breasts and running your thumbs over your nipples.

Tech's breath catches, and his eyes are dark as they watch your every move. You can see his fingers twitching, aching to touch you, but he's refraining. You run a hand down your stomach, over the hem of your panties, and he licks his lips again.

Then, without warning, you turn away from him, exposing your backside. Tech makes a sound of protest, but his objection quickly dies down when he sees you hook your thumbs into the waistband and slide your underwear down. You bend forward to push them down your legs, and you can hear the sharp intake of breath from Tech.

The moment you turn around, a mischievous glint in your eye, you're met with a new expression on Tech's face.

He looks hungry.

His pupils are blown wide and his lips are parted, and you can tell it's taking all his strength not to jump across the table and take you right then and there.

"Well?" you tease, raising an eyebrow at him. "What are you waiting for?"

He doesn't waste a second. With one swift motion, he tosses the cards aside, his eyes never leaving yours, and stands. Then, he's on the other side of the table and grabbing your waist, pulling you towards him until your chest is pressed against his.

"I win," he announces, his hands roaming over your body.

"Then take your prize."

He pulls you into a searing kiss, his lips pressing insistently against yours. His hands travel the expanse of your skin, squeezing and caressing. One settles at the base of your neck while the other moves lower, down the curve of your back and to your ass. He grabs it, hard, and pulls your hips towards his, pressing his already-hard erection into you. You moan into his mouth, and he swallows it up, his tongue delving deeper and dancing with yours.

You wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer and pressing your bare chest against him. You can feel the heat radiating off his body, and his arousal is evident as he rocks his hips into yours, his hand squeezing and kneading your flesh.

When the two of you break away for air, his mouth moves lower, peppering kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking the sensitive skin at your pulse point. You tilt your head back, allowing him more access, and he takes full advantage. His tongue laves over the area, teeth nipping at the skin, and a breathy moan escapes your lips.

Tech's lips travel lower, across your collarbone and down your chest, stopping at the valley between your breasts. His breath fans over your skin, and his tongue darts out, licking a stripe along the underside of one breast. His fingers move up, brushing over the bud of your nipple, and you let out a whimper at the sensation.

He looks up at you, a satisfied smile playing at his lips, before bending and taking the other nipple into his mouth. His tongue swirls around it, his lips sucking the sensitive flesh, and his hand pinches the other one. The feeling sends shockwaves of pleasure through your body, and your hands find their way into his hair, tangling themselves in the strands.

You gasp as his teeth gently graze over the hardened peak, and your knees nearly buckle beneath you. His other hand comes up and holds your hip, steadying you, and his mouth moves to the other side.

"Tech..." you breathe, your head falling back and your eyes fluttering shut. He's barely touched you, and already, you're a panting mess.

Tech's lips travel further down, past your navel and to your thighs. He drops to his knees in front of you, his hands trailing along the curves of your hips, and his lips press kisses into your skin.

"I've been wanting to taste you all day," he says, his voice a low rumble.

"You should've told me earlier," you breathe, looking down at him through hooded eyes. "We could've skipped the sabacc." 

"This was far more entertaining." He presses a kiss to your mound, and you shudder. His eyes are dark with lust, and the sight of him on his knees before you makes your core clench with anticipation.

Tech kisses your thigh, his tongue darting out to taste the skin. Your hands tighten in his hair, tugging and guiding him to where you need him most. He chuckles, and the warm breath fans over your sensitive flesh. 

His fingers dance across your skin, teasing the crease of your thighs, before one presses against your heat. A moan escapes your lips, and he presses harder, dragging his finger through your folds.

"You're already so wet," he murmurs, his eyes watching the way his finger moves. "Were you thinking about this while we were playing? About what would happen if you lost?"

"Yes," you answer truthfully, and the admission has him groaning.

He rubs circles into your clit, his touch sending sparks of pleasure throughout your body. Your legs begin to shake, and you place a hand on his shoulder to steady yourself. He glances up at you, the corner of his mouth turning up in a devilish smirk, and he presses a finger against your entrance. You whimper at the contact, and Tech lets out a quiet moan, the sight of you falling apart before him clearly affecting him.

"Tech, please," you beg, rocking your hips into his hand.

"Patience, darling," he coos.

He pushes the digit into you, slowly, letting you adjust to the stretch, and then curls it upwards. You gasp, your hand gripping his shoulder tighter, and he begins to pump his finger in and out of you. His arm nudges your thigh, spreading your legs wider, and he leans in and presses his mouth to your clit. He licks a broad stripe up the sensitive bundle of nerves, his tongue swirling around it, and you cry out in pleasure.

His free hand grips your thigh, holding you steady, while the other continues its slow movements, pushing in and out of you. You feel the tension coiling inside of you, and you know it won't take long for him to push you over the edge. His tongue is skilled and insistent, and he knows you better than anyone.

Tech's eyes are locked on yours, watching every reaction, and you can see the pure delight written on his face. He loves knowing he's the one doing this to you, making you fall apart.

"Tech... I'm..." You can't finish the sentence. The tension is building inside you, threatening to snap at any moment, and your breathing is labored. Tech adds a second finger, pumping faster and curling them against the spongy spot within you. You whimper, your grip on his shoulder tightening, and he knows you're close.

"Come for me," he says, his words vibrating against your sensitive flesh. His palm slaps against your clit, his fingers curling deeper, and the coil inside you snaps.

"Fuck!" you gasp, your legs shaking as the orgasm crashes through you. Tech's arm wraps around your thigh, keeping you upright as your knees buckle. He continues pumping his fingers, drawing out the pleasure, his tongue flicking and swirling around your clit.

When the sensations become too much, you place a hand on his forehead and push him away, your body going slack. Tech pulls his fingers from you and places a gentle kiss on your inner thigh before standing, his eyes searching yours.

"Are you alright?" he asks, his voice husky.

"Mhmm," you hum, a blissful smile tugging at your lips.

Tech's hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you into a bruising kiss. He takes a step forward, guiding you backwards, and the backs of your legs hit the bunk.

"Tech, please," you beg, breaking the kiss and staring into his eyes. They're black with desire, and he's already reaching down, fumbling with the zipper of his pants.

He pushes them down his legs, kicking them away, and his cock springs free, already leaking. Your hand reaches for him, stroking him from base to tip, and he groans, his hips bucking into your touch.

You continue the slow movements, dragging your hand along his length and rubbing your thumb over the tip. Tech's breathing is heavy, and his head falls to your shoulder, his face buried in the crook of your neck.

"Stop," he mutters, grabbing your wrist and halting the movement. "I want to last more than five seconds."

You chuckle and press a kiss to his jaw. "Well, let's go, then."

His eyes meet yours, and he nods. Then, in a swift motion, he spins you around and pushes you forward, bending you over the side of the bed.

He presses his body against yours, his cock grinding against your ass, and a soft moan escapes your lips. He's close, his breathing hot and heavy against your neck, and his hands are gripping your hips, pulling you towards him.

You feel the tip of his cock press against your entrance, and a shiver runs down your spine. You lean forward, resting your arms on the mattress and tilting your ass higher, and Tech lets out a deep moan at the sight.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers as one hand slides along the curve of your back.

“Hurry up," you urge, wiggling your hips against him.

His hand moves down your hip, across your ass, taking a moment to squeeze the flesh, and lower to the back of your thigh. His fingers dance along the skin, sending shivers down your spine, before coming to a stop at the back of your knee. He lifts it, propping it on the edge of the bunk, spreading your legs wider, and then his cock is lining up with your entrance.

He pushes in, slowly, letting you adjust to the stretch. You whimper as he fills you, and his hand comes up, rubbing soothing circles into your lower back.

Tech pauses when he's fully sheathed inside you, his hips flush with yours, and his hand comes around to rest on your lower stomach. The light pressure on the spot is just enough to have you squirming, and you push back into him, silently begging for more.

"Please, Tech," you whimper, and he huffs a laugh.

"Begging already?" he teases, his breath fanning over the shell of your ear. "I haven't even started yet."

He pulls out of you, and the drag of his cock has you whining, already missing the sensation. He pushes back in, slow and deep, and you let out a shaky breath.

"Fuck, Tech," you pant, and he groans, his nose brushing against the nape of your neck.

His pace is slow and methodical, and you can't help but admire the restraint he's showing. Usually, he's a mess by this point, but now, his fingers are digging into your hips, holding you steady, and his breathing is slow and controlled.

You turn your head, pressing your cheek against the sheets, and glance up at him. His eyes are shut tight, and his brow is furrowed in concentration. You're not sure what's gotten into him, but he seems determined not to lose control.

"Harder, Tech," you urge, pushing your hips back to meet his. He grunts and snaps his hips, the slap of skin on skin filling the room. You let out a moan, and Tech's pace quickens, his thrusts growing more forceful.

Your fingers dig into the sheets, trying to find purchase as he pounds into you. It's intoxicating, the feeling of his cock filling you, stretching you. And the sounds coming from his lips—the soft grunts and moans—are driving you wild. He's always quiet during sex, but the sounds he's making now are anything but.

Tech's grip on your hip tightens, and his hand on your stomach presses harder, holding you in place as his hips move faster. His thrusts are sharp and deep, and he hits that sweet spot inside you, sending tingling waves of pleasure through your body.

"Yes," you cry out, and you push back against him, meeting each thrust. "More, Tech."

"I don't want to hurt you," he says, his voice strained.

"You won't."

He lets out a strangled moan and slams his hips into yours, the movement nearly knocking the breath from your lungs. He continues his relentless pace, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hip, and your head falls forward, resting against the sheets.

Your legs are shaking, and the tension inside you is threatening to snap at any moment. You can feel the fire burning in your abdomen, the pressure coiling tighter and tighter, and the way Tech is panting against your neck isn't helping.

"That's it," he growls, his voice low and husky. "You're close, aren't you?"

"Yes," you breathe.

"I can feel you tightening around me." He groans, his pace never faltering. "You're going to come for me."

It's a demand, not a question. And you have no intention of disobeying him.

Tech's hand slides from your hip to your ass, squeezing the plump flesh. The possessiveness of the gesture has you keening, and you arch your back, presenting yourself to him. He growls at the sight, his hips slamming into yours.

"Stars, you're so fucking beautiful," he pants, his hand moving to your thigh and hiking your leg higher. The new angle allows him to slide deeper inside you, and you can feel the pressure building within you, the tears beginning to prick at your eyes.

"Tech, please," you beg, pushing your hips back to meet his.

"What do you need, darling?" he asks, his voice strained. "Tell me."

"Make me come, please," you whine, and his hips jerk forward.

His hand is quick, sliding between your legs and finding your clit. He presses two fingers against the swollen bud, rubbing slow circles, and the tension snaps. Your body goes rigid, and your vision blurs as the orgasm rips through you. You cry out, Tech's name falling from your lips, and your knees buckle, the only thing keeping you upright is his firm grip on your hips.

You bury your face in the sheets, muffling the sound of your moans, and Tech keeps pumping into you, his thrusts rocking you forward and sending your orgasm even higher.

He fucks you through the high, his pace never faltering, each thrust punching another gasp from you. Your hands grip the sheets, knuckles white and jaw clenched, and the pleasure is so intense that tears begin to roll down your cheeks. His cock twitches inside you, and you clench around him, desperate to push him over the edge.

"Fuck," he hisses, his thrusts becoming sloppy. He's babbling now, his voice hoarse and broken, and you can tell he's close. "You're perfect, darling. You're— fuck, I love you, I love you, I love—"

His words are cut off by a deep groan, and his hips stutter. He slams into you one final time before he spills into you, hot and thick, and the feeling is enough to make you see stars. His hands are gripping your waist, bruising the flesh, and he pulls you into his lap as he turns and collapses onto the bed.

You both sit there, panting, his chest pressed against your back. His forehead is resting against your shoulder, his breath hot and ragged against your skin. The two of you are covered in a sheen of sweat, and his hands are roaming your body, tracing gentle patterns across your skin.

"That was..." Tech trails off, unable to form the words.

"Yeah," you agree, leaning back against him. You take in a shaky breath and sigh. "I love you too, by the way."

"I know." He nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, his lips pressing a gentle kiss against the sensitive skin. "I can't believe you suggested strip sabacc."

"And I can't believe you agreed."

"Well, I wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to see you naked," he chuckles, his fingers tracing lazy circles across your abdomen.

You laugh, and the sound is bright and clear. You shift in his lap, turning around and straddling his hips. His eyes are soft as he stares up at you, a faint smile tugging at his lips.

"Maybe we should play it more often then," you joke, leaning down and capturing his lips in a tender kiss.

"We will, if this is how you plan to reward me every time I win."

"Deal."

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[muffinlance]

I was having a think this afternoon about the antagonists in Avatar and I realized that there are two of them (Zhao and Hama) that can put me off reading something entirely and one more (Jet) who's on that list about 50% of the time. Which is interesting, because none of them could be considered primary antagonists for the whole arc of the plot (Zhao's antagonism is reserved for season 1 only). Something about those three just puts me off. Thoughts?

Big same! For me, this is because Zhao and Hama and Jet are all terrifyingly real.

Like, Ozai is an evil dude doing evil things, and he's objectively just up on a war balloon burning the world for fun. You just won Ba Sing Se, man, why did you need to do that? You didn't, but you just invented the first flight tech since your grandpappy napalmed the air nomads and that same comet's coming back around, why would you not. I get that, man. I respect that.

But that kind of villain isn't one we see a lot of on a daily basis in the real world.

Now, consider Zhao:

He's egotistical but arguably earning it (he's doing something to get those promotions, whether through competence or excellent management skills or straight up playing the game through ass-kissery).

He also completely doesn't care what he screws up in the world, as long as it gets him ahead, and can and will be a petty tantrum thrower when things don't go his way.

This man. This man is every corporate worker destroying the world for profit, every neighbor that sprays weed-killer through the fence onto your mother's garden because he personally prefers grass to flowers, every asshat on the bus in priority seating ignoring the tired mother with the toddler who just rummaged up her fare.

Depending on how you read his interactions with Zuko, he's also every child abuser (whether verbal, physical, or sexual) who's getting away with it by being just subtle enough, and making his victim feel at fault.

We see Zhao around us all the time. Zhao is ruining our world. And all we ask for is fanfic authors to let us have the sweet sweet catharsis of seeing him properly dragged down to eternal torture by an eldritch fish-monster, thanks. Because no one wants another season with the sickeningly realistic creep-lord ladder-climber.

Hama.

Hama is a hero who didn't die, and that is terrifying.

Hama is the incredible person who gave their all to defend what's right, and lost. But instead of the paltry reward of death, she was taken from her home. Tortured daily, barely acknowledged as human. Watched her friends and family tortured, watched them die.

Found, somewhere deep in herself, the power to keep fighting against all odds. Escaped. Started a new life. Fooled the enemy in the heart of their own territory, kept taking the fight to them all her life, and was even able to reunite with the last hope of her tribe and pass down her hard-earned teachings.

This is a heroic tale, but somewhere in there the hero broke, and never noticed.

It's an incredibly compelling backstory, with deep and horrifying moral implications, because Hama is arguably a good person tortured into insanity. Any of our favorite characters could have become her, in the right circumstances. Any of us could.

Hama never went back to the South Pole. I think that was her final unconscious mercy towards the person she used the be: she did not bring her illness, the illness that was forced upon her, back into the heart of her tribe to spread.

RIP, Hama of the Water Tribe. You deserved better than you got.

PS: Also she's a terrifying serial killer with creepy dolls tucked into cupboards for that extra You're Gonna Die And The Soundtrack Will Be Slowed-Down Children's Laughter vibes, so there's that.

Jet is a Hama about half way along her path, one who never got a chance at any kind of normal life first. He's protecting his kids, he is a kid, but he's spiraling rapidly into No Good Very Bad territory.

Child soldiers are also a real thing. So are charismatic leaders who are going to tarnish your own ethics before you even realize it. Jet's the first threat to black and white morality the Gaang learns about, and boy does he ever make an impression.

But he's still redeemable. He's still just a kid who needs support and a good therapist. If he didn't see Uncle heating that tea, if he got to know Li in his shouty-competence and bond over being stifled in that city but with too many people to protect to go back out into the war, things might have been different. Hence the basis of a hundred "Zuko and Jet are friends before Jet figures it out" fics.

In conclusion: Ozai is as close to being a cartoon villain as we get in the show. He's safe to hate, fun to watch, doesn't make us think to hard.

Zhao, Hama, and Jet? They are viciously real. They are people you've met, or read about. They are us but for different circumstances, and we are not safe from becoming them.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I would like to thank my mother and also the writers of Avatar for my life.

[moskaisley]

Ok so I've never seen the movies so I didn't know this so feel free to throw your star wars knowledge at me but are mandalorian and jedi really enemies like the show says. Wasn't there a mandalorian in the movies, like im sure mist normal people do i always imagine myself as a character in any show or movie 😂 so it they're enemies that is messing with the idea i had for it 🐼

LMAO UR VALID PANDANON

ive had plenty of opportunities to watch the movies over the years but it wasn’t until i got into the mandalorian that i sat thru them and actually paid attention. n then it was a slippery slope from there i’m full in this sarlacc pit

take ur seats it’s time 4 a history lesson

so the deal with the jedi and mandos

so the lore is that long ago, mandos went on a series of crusades around the galaxy fucking shit up and being warriors, as they do. but the jedi are cops and they said “no 💘” to their shenanigans. thus begins the mando-jedi war. this is were we see the rise of the mando tech and why they became the galaxy’s most esteemed warriors. (arguably) force wielders are the most powerful beings, and the mandos developed as a people to combat them. beskar, for example, rly is the strongest out there bc it can take a hit from a lightsaber. the jetpacks combat the jedi’s force gymnastics, flamethrowers can’t be deflected with a lightsaber, a grappling hook to grab stuff far away before the jedi can w the force etc. etc. 

the last battle that took place was on mandalore, where they fucked shit up SO BAD the entire planet had to live in domed cities bc the planet was basically uninhabitable. by the time the clone wars roll around, mandalorians were still lowkey salty, but they got their asses kicked and planet screwed so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  (they had a whole ~ pacifist ~ regime phase but that’s an entirely OTHER THING. hONESTLY. the clone wars is its own can of worms to go thru. see: siege of mandalore)

after that, queue galactic empire and great purge where imps strip the mandalorians of their sacred beskar and commit genocide, forcing mandos to go into hiding and scatter across the galaxy where we inevitably come to our man din djarin.

TLDR; the mandalorians were enemies of the jedi at one point in time, but they had their own shit to deal with so eventually that just kinda faded

REGARDING THE FETTS

jango and boba fett, according to george lucas, technically aren’t mandalorians, they just wear the armor.

however.

george lucas is also wrong and can suck my dick. 

jango fett is the mando we see in the prequels. he was the best bounty hunter ever and so his dna was used to create the clones in the clone wars. how did they pay him ??? with an unaltered clone of himself to raise as a son. then he gets his head chopped by obi juan n we see baby boba sad w his father’s helmet :(

boba fett is the mando we see in the original trilogy. he has like 5 lines across all three movies and falls into a gross worm pit on tatooine. BUT he’s a bad bitch, you can’t kill him and will show up in S2 where he and din will likely have a standoff and my pussy WILL explode. 

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[the-everlasting-dream]

Does anyone watch Salvation?

Because ya girl over here just watched the first episode and LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING

I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THE LEVEL OF HOTNESS AND TALENT THAT IS SANTIAGO CABRERA

aka our Damien Nazario’s fc 

I will now go provide a short summary of my experience watching this firt episode

Darius Tanz - if that isn’t a pretentious billionaire name idk what fucking is OMg so the SHOW is starting with HIM GIVING A SPEeCh, yas bby come through, I love those smart asses HE HAS AN ENGLISH ACCENT W H A A T IHow did I not know this

Elle your INTELLIGENCE KINK IS SHOWINGGGGGG, ca;m yo fucking farm bitch

HES SO SMART, talking about astrophysics and shit, he could read me telephone numbers and I would listen to that amazing voice of his

fkn smartass 

ok

this maaaay have been a bad idea

Why did i start this series now

Did you not think Elle? Assessment week is coming up and you choose to start this NOW? WILLLINGLY? was I prepared for the level of sex appeal from Mr Cabrera....No I was not

DARIUS SUCH A SMART ASS THATS IT IM DONE

CBS If I fail my exams I am writing a personal complaint about your company and its choice to hire the fine specIMEN that is Santiago. 

SANTIAGO IS TO HOT FOR MY BRAIN TO HANDLE

oh look another face claim for Asian Lima

Damn theres tension over the girl

FUCK

MY SCREAMS HAVE TRANSCENDED THE FOURTH WALL

Oh shit oh shit oh shit I have another ship

Darius and Grace

DariUS AND GRACE

DArIUS AND GRaCE

Let it be recorded that at precisely 17 mins into the episode Elle has starte shipping GRACIUS

They’ve only had 45 SECONDS OF SCREEN TIME AND I’VE ALREADY NAMED THEIR FUTURE CHILDREN AND GOLDEN RETRIEVER

Forget the asteriod, the bigger warning here is that I WILL NOT STOP SCReAMING ABOUT thiS SHoW

STOP

STOP

SOMEONE CALL 911

THE MAN IS IN A SUIT REPEAT  THE MAN IS IN A   S U I T WITH A BOWTIE A. BOW. TIE. 

....why does it have to buFFER NOW??

Omg he just complimented her and insulted her in the same sentence. Hello Operator is this Damien Nazario

Ok but he’s basically tony starK

Tech billionaire in Man cave with hologram projections and an AI called Tess = Automatic ANTHONY STARK STATUS ACHIEVED

OH NO

THE BOWTIE

HAS

COME

UNDONE

NO PROMISES SHALL BE MADE

i AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS when Mr Cabrera chooses to look like THAT

Ok but the plot is SO GOOD though, I dont wanna spoil it but i HIGHLY Recommend you watch this

Damien/Santiago makes it all worth it 

The most important part of the episode for Gracius

Grace: Screw you and your ark *launches into big ass pep talk about saving the world and humanity

Darius: *heart eyes* Grace you had me at screw you

THIS IS ONLY EPISODE 1 PEOPLE 

There are 2 seasons 13 eps each

Each episode is 40 mins

which is 1040 totak

As the main character I expect Darius to get slightly under half of the screen time which mean 500 potential minutes of Mr Santiago Sexxy Cabrera

I CAN”T DO THIS

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I am about to ruin my life now by watching all episodes or trying to. 

If I do not live ot see the light of day, it will be because I have been slayed by this series and would request pink roses on my coffin...

~ Elle out

[sokhayise]

Skateboard Ceddy. Bhuti Wama Element🕯️

Malibongwe Wami😊 I am so fucking PROUD of your crazy ass. You should see yourself now, all chubby and smooth for the ladies, Stoke game on fleek and whatnot but hey we ain't kissing and telling on socials boyo we done did that already😂

You have such a resilient spirit, a caring spirit, sometimes it's overbearing and overwhelming yeah but it's always in the context of WHO you are extending your love to.

Most of these folks you met along the way were not a mistake, except Tukelo maybe. That girl don't wanna meet nobody and she calls me her brother. Such Hippocracy, the nerve, but ke Geminis right? 😂

Your murder weapon, your short trip from Chesterville to Manor Gardens, to park at Cuba, go to campus, get a little Uhm "Medicine" and come back with bars, laughs and a couple of books. You started a Russian Roulette with Novels.

It's not quite the vision we was aiming for but come on he's reading something so I mean it counts Dawg, you did good there Miyagi😤 the nerve of thinking you could teach men older than you cause yous a test tube teenager who grew up like Mr Anderson before became Neo with all the special effects. Yous a gangster huh😂

You have touched the lives of many, you have changed and brought life (and ego deaths yes babes claim it) with everyone you have met along the way, some meet you now a little grown, a little sexy, a little scarred and still remember all the stories that come with your R400 (which would have been R1200 at Northbeach area skate shops wait a go be economic and shit 😂😂😂) skateboard.

Ville. Hawu Nkosi, inkazimulo yethu I feel bad for that man you terrorised the shit out of him, always feeding him conspiracy theories and reasons why he HAD TO read (you are such a forceful bastard aren't ya? Bitch😂) man's ended up spending every morning in a toilet shitting out his past and filling his today's with the Oxford dictionary.

Kwayena lomsunu owunkazi if he just moves to London and has a best seller of indaba zethu and then move us all to Bora Bora where we can watch Netflix and the world go crazy out our college life and barely notice us on the streets of Amsterdam. I think that would be the perfect place to make a album with Ville on some Italian Job kind of vibe we should be so Strick that EVERY VIDEOS OF THAT ALBUM HAS A MINI COOPER (angithi uyezwa Ville Wabantu? Why did 6 call you that vele? Oh right Zodwa,makes sense😂)

Shimmy shimmy ya Shata thalaaala ain't he the anchor that knows to much,never says enough but packages a whole novel into this one little paragraphs or say 30 minute conversation? I should hire him a writer, someone to get him drunk enough to talk freely but also be accurate with his narrative so his Ted Talks can be novels. I mean hello Shata Rick Ross has a novel! You think that nigga wrote it himself? Cap😂

And can somebody tell me what are going to do with Ntuthukos beat? I mean it's actually perfect for a lot of South African movies it's not a Spotify vibe its a I wasnt to watch this episode to hear that beat again vibe you know Netflix emails with royalties and shit. Crip walking with Cryptocurrency 😂 (okay 6 I promise I won't make that a song it sounds nice but it's not song title worthy I get away with too much yes we know . Stop👀)

I found my tribe, or something close to it, well I know I would not mind traveling the country to find all my boys, have some Heineken and at least pretend I know what's going on in the PSL maybe even play a game or two of soccer on the PlayStation. The 10-0 loss at the age of 7 is such a played out memory now we deserve something spicy to remember now.

Then there's 6. The most explainable anomaly of the state, FBIs target market, he knows shit he's not supposed to know and he never remembers how he knows it but he knows it that's all that matters, we started this pact of being Shinobis together and that motherfucker ACTUALLY pulled it off WITHOUT YOU. He followed the G code of Shinobis to the T. Hmm that bitch better do a mixtape with me😂

Well I guess the nerd,read a book ,master need speed Godfather is me hey? The human Google yimi akiri? Argh man why not? It's always been me and they make it feel cool to be that guy actually the tech guy the brains of the operation well, The theory at least (thanks UKZN good look out🤷🏾‍♀️)

And maybe just knowing you'd work hard enough to see your Cubans, to hug them, to raise a class with them to start a company or 4 (erhm "Khoza Trucking" yes Ville YOU KNOW what I mean🤭) maybe these ones are the ones to keep for life. maybe these are the Godfathers that need to protect your kids as you protect theirs.

Let's skip the formalities, let's stop testing folks now, and stay true to the mafia you have built for yourself, you grew up too fast and too Jaden let's try this new one let's grow young now. Let's have fun, let's pick up that skateboard and actually learn the kick flip this time😊 (and yes. Let's all gang up on Ville. I hate Taurus guys anyway😂😂😂😂)

[watsonpersonality]

Literally all of this!

I am a woman working in a man's world fixing big ass diesel trucks and ag equipment, and the thing is I do it better than my male co-workers and receive less respect for my work because of my gender. To my male co-workers it doesn't matter if I as a female can do the same amount of work that they - average men- can do. I have to be able to do more work at a higher level than that of an average man to be given the respect and common decency given to the guys in the shop the minute they walk through the doors and declare themselves to be a technician.

And trust me, whenever I run into another female tech, I feel the need to take her out for coffee, tell her that she is brave and amazing , acknowledge her skill, and bitch about the moronic men the we work with because, fuck, we spend half of our working hours putting up with the "Do you even know what you're doing?" shit from a bunch of overgrown babies with wrenches who's messed and fuckups we get to clean up and we deserve to be told that were valuable and important and good at what we do!

So, yeah, men can learn that they are not the know all end all creator and fixed of all things!

Mentrification sucks!

Women, stand together and stand for your rights and what you like!

Anyway, Thank you for coming to my Ted talk!

...shutting up now...

I wonder when exactly it was that Star Trek stopped being perceived as light, fluffy, not-really-legitimate sci fi that ~housewives~ liked and started being seen as serious nerd business that girls had to keep their gross cooties off. 

[fukindork]

Pidge is my fave. Who is yours!

Hunk. Absolutely no arguement.

Seriously. I know I’m thirsty A F for Shiro but Hunk just takes the cake. Literally.

Hi welcome to my TED talk where I talk about how much I love Hunk.

He big: soft and squishy and huggable and can scoop up everyone in the team in a group hug no problem

He stronk: he got a lot of muscle, not fat, real muscle, he’d Samoan, from an island in the sea, so his body type is similar to Polynesians. Why I bring them up? Because if you look into Moana, the men tend to be large but very obviously not fat. Especially Maui, he’s largely built, but obviously has a LOT of muscle, Hunk us built the same way.

He sensitive: always crying and I just wanna snuggle him better

He cooks: you beg your ass that’s part of it, who doesn’t want a man that can cook? He bakes super well too!

He an engineer: can fix my car when needed.

Intelligeeeennntt: He has an encyclopedic knowledge of every single spice on earth for Christ’s sake, and he’s a goddamn engineer so obviously he’s good with tech.

To conclude: the perfect husband and I love him so much.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk have a good night

Also pls send me more asks so I feel important followers pls