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benignsnail · 10 months ago

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So Juicy Challenge (A So Flora Mini Challenge)

A mini sims legacy challenge inspired by the not so berry legacy challenge. All themed around flowers. Have fun!

Pomegranate: You catch a pomegranate at willow creek when you are a kid. You don't think anything of it until you become obsessed with Greek lore as a teen. You decide to move to Tartosa and live like Persephone herself, with a lush garden and a pomegranate tree. Although you are a bit of a late bloomer, you have more confidence in your decisions after taking so much time to ponder them.

Traits: Self-Assured

Career: Self-Employed

Write a short story based on a message in a bottle you find

Write Science Fiction Books- but make it Greek mythology

Live in willow creek and move to Tartosa as a young adult.

Successfully beg for someone's life (if you can't succeed naturally you must use a shadow realm drink) and have Death become your roommate

Read Fortune Telling for Dummies

Buy great kisser reward trait

Cowplant Berry: As a kid you LOVE cows, you beg your parent for one but they never agree. You think the only way must be to become a farmer so you start to read all about plants and eventually join the gardener career. As a botanist you get a cowplant berry and realize something even better than cows is out there. Your cowplant is everything to you. Even after you have a kid.

Aspiration: Freelance Botanist

Career: Gardener-Botanist Branch

If there is a cow print swatch you must use it

Have a room devoted to your cowplant (ideally a greenhouse)

Keep your cowplant alive as long as possible, if it dies get a new one (no cheats)

Must have a Cowplant Love framed poster

Buy the Where Did it Go Poster because you saw the cow.

Have a baby right after adopting a baby

Optional: Get married with a cowplant topper on your wedding cake

Chocoberry: You're that kid that will only drink chocolate milk. A bit fed up with all the Winterfest nonsense, you long for a Holiday centered around chocolate. Chocolate and free Voidcritter packs! Now there's a holiday. Your goal in life is to be in a Voidcritter movie, but you'll settle for Silver Screen icon, after all you are that fabulous.

Teen Aspiration: Drama Llama

Adult Aspiration: Master Actor/Actress

Traits: Childish, Glutton

Earn Junk Food Fiend Lifestyle

Make every chocolate related food and drink in game

(Bonus) Complete Voidcritter collection

Participate in the Voidcritter Hunt during the Festival of Youth

Design your own holiday

Have a pet llama or goat

Have chocolate cake on your birthday

Join drama club as a kid/teen and have your parents attend if prompted

Eat only pancakes for breakfast

Cherry: Maybe it's because you read Princess Plumbob's Castle as a toddler but things always feel just out of your reach. As a kid you try really hard to fit in and even pretend to obsess over Just Justin, filling your room with his poster before a birthday sleepover. But the clothes your friends wear and the high tech lifestyle just doesn't vibe. You long for sepia toned photographs, slow dances, and jukeboxes. It's just not your era.

Traits: Clumsy, Creative

Have a slumber party on your birthday before aging up to a teen

Live in an apartment with lively neighbours

Retro style clothes and house

Borrow money from your friends a lot

Never do your homework

Sell your baked goods

Work as a photographer from a home studio

Get lots of photobooth photos

Win Prom King/Queen

(Optional) Master bowling

Strawberry: Your parents ate strawberries and listened to pop music hoping to get a girl. You are that girl. Unfortunately you are a tomboy. You have a beetle farm you love and own a copy of every one of your parent's horror books, and while they're great and all you relate more to The Adventure of Pink Ruffles. You want to be a pirate when you grow up. Or maybe a ghost. Maybe a ghost pirate. You'll figure it out.

Child Aspiration: Rambunctious Scamp

Play on a pirate playground

Read The Adventures of Pink Ruffles as your first book

Purchase a Paper Kabuto at the Festival of Youth

Search for buried treasure

Drink 3 beetle juice cocktails

Build a cemetery in every world on an existing community lot

Possess a fire pit while living as a ghost

Travel around all the worlds collecting gravestones and putting them in the cemeteries

Come back to life and eat cake (bonus if its the zombie one). Celebrate with a try for baby.

Settle down in Brindleton Bay and meet the mayor

Merryberry: The apple-err berry-doesn't fall far from the tree. You are an adventurer through and through. Your dream is to delve into the depths of Selvadorada and get your hands dirty. When you're younger you love going around catching frogs and playing on monkey bars. You're the kind of kid that's always asking why-maybe that's why you become a journalist when you're older.

Aspiration: Either Jungle Explorer or Archaeology Scholar

Grow a tree of emotions

Buy Brave reward trait

Earn Frequent Traveler Lifestyle

Make someone hysterical with a razzleberry

Have a pet frog

Become a journalist

Collect all fossils

Pineapple: Money is well and good, but what about notoriety? If nobody knows you have it does it even exist? You want to show off your luxurious life, and even your time down on your luck when your parents kick you out for burning their money. Stream everything with your drone, the public needs to know.

Aspiration: World Famous Celebrity

Traits: Cringe, Self-Absorbed

Career: Social Media- Internet Personality

Burn money

Move to Sulani

Make it rain (simoleons obviously)

Make it rain with a weather machine as well (might as well)

Become famous (in a bad way)

Have a negative reputaion

Complete 10 murals

The only paintings in your house must be wall murals

Have pet chickens and eat fresh eggs for breakfast

(Bonus) Hatch 1 golden egg

Watermelon: You are a bit of a geek in high school. You play Dnd and go the whole 9 yards with your acting, wear a handmade costume, and even start a whole club. You settle down a bit as an adult but you keep your a fondness for get togethers and game nights. There's always a Simbles game or puzzle going on in your house.

Aspiration: Leader of the Pack

Traits: Goofball, Geek

Complete marble collection

Read Sci-Fi Books

Host BBQs in the summer

Meet your spouse at a festival (Bonus if you get married at the love festival right away)

Win a village fair ribbon for a watermelon you grew

Have family game night every Saturday

Bonus: have a water balloon fight

Blueberry: Your lifelong dream from childhood is to be a chef. The drama, the pizazz, you want it. You watch the cooking channel religiously and even join the Fast Food Career to try to get a leg up. But after making it to Line Cook as a young adult you realize its nothing like the Dramatic Cooking Poster. It's all stress and no drama. So you quit. And you take up the piano. Because even though its stressful in its own way, YOU LIKE IT. And you want to do something you actually like now.

Career: Fast Food->Culinary

Marry Amber from It's Amber poster. (Make your own in CAS)

Buy hardly hungry reward trait

Move to an empty lot

Earn money busking with a piano/keyboard

Grapes: You LOVE unicorns. So much you buy a horse and paint it to look like one. You have your head in the clouds more often than not-too much to ever get anything done at work, but that's okay because you're too much of a sweetheart for anyone to get mad at. Speaking of sweetheart. You marry your childhood neighbor. They just get you, they've seen it all already and they love you all the same.

Have a Unicorn Futures Children's Bank as a kid

Earn the irresponsible trait

Buy an It's So Fluffy ball, but for you not a pet

Have a pet unicorn

Buy professional slacker reward trait

Play Hooky at work at least twice

(Bonus) Buy Puppet Theater

Pumpkin: You have one of those penguin televisions as a kid and honestly you think it's magic. You love mixing bubbles around in the bath and pretending you are creating your very own potion! Although you never find any written record, you hear tales of kind of magic that turns pumpkins into carriages. You practice on your Junior Wizard Starter Set you get for your birthday. It's just like making potions in the bath, but better! Well one thing leads to another and you find yourself in Glimmerbrook as a young adult and oh boy is it better than a penguin TV.

Aspiration: Purveyor of Potions

Become a witch/wizard

Write a children's book about Henry Puffer

Buy marketable reward trait and sell potions

Have your pet become your familiar

Drink the potion of immortality

Raspberry: You live by the motto Leeb, Leefah, Lurve. That's right you're basic. In fact you probably have the Karen hairstyle (Not Karen from Life Stories and not Karen from Pet Stories either, they're dead, let them go). You just know you'll have a love story for the ages but why settle for a townie when you could have another berry as your partner. Not the good old royal incest way though, that's a bit much. You just want to take a look at what other fish are in the sea. And you know a guy/gal/human who can help ;)

Aspiration: Lord or Lady of the Knits Aspiration

Set your lot trait to Gnomes

Download a blackberry sim from the gallery and marry them

Have a pet red mini sheep

Sell something on Plopsy

Knit a newborn onesie

Suffer the sweater curse with your first love

Knit a grim reaper doll and gift it to death

Dragonfruit: You just really like dragons.

Career: Criminal: Boss

Become waterproof

Have a dragon familiar

Fire dance at the Ancient Ruins

Buy a retail store but make it a money laundering scheme

Bonus: Eat dragon's breath ice cream

Eggplant: You like what you like. And you like love. And DJ Suuuuuul. Or maybe DJ Plum Plum. Could be both. You have to experiment to find out, you know? Sure you're a bit unorthodox but that's why they made the unorthobox gaming console, for people like you.

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Career: Tech Guru-eSports Gamer

Master DJ mixing skill

Buy Beguiling reward trait

Max Charisma skill

On Love Day send forged breakup letters

Bell Pepper: You love your parent but you long to fit in. You just aren't very good at it. Luckily you meet someone at school that shares your love of insects! And they even find you funny. They encourage you to write comedy routines and even help you practice. You become roommates and although you think there could be something more there, you wait a really long time to find out because you don't want to ruin things with your best friend.

Traits: Socially Awkward

Use Social Bunny once a day

Career: Entertainer-Comedy Branch

Write a Comedy Book

Your pet: a robot vacuum

Do a comedy routine in space

Complete insect collection

Sneak out through your bedroom window as a teen

#sims4 #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 challenge #ts4 legacy

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inkintheinternet · 13 days ago

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Star Trek and the Kardashev Scale

By Arjuwan Lakkdawala

Ink in the Internet

How can we better understand the exponential progress in technology that is changing our world. To do that we first have to have a proper grasp on the "collective consciousness" of the world.

I think this is a term famously coined by Elon Musk regarding social media or specifically X (formerly Twitter.)

Before the readers start to wonder what has this modern term in the era of the Internet, got to do with the technology that came before it and was its foundation. What I'm referring to in this article is two different mindsets that became a part of the collective consciousness of a people in regions around the world, the joining factor was writings, television, radio, storytelling, experiences, and of course education.

It is my deduction that two general forms of thinking developed on each continent. And I give credit to Mary Shelley for this very elegant and clear metaphor: like Victor Frankenstein (science) and Elizabeth (aesthetics.)

The science we have today is branched into several disciplines. But what was the earliest science? I think it was physics, simply because so much of what we would naturally think about falls under the umbrella of it; motion, energy, heat, then comes complicated and not so obvious things like gravity, particle physics, and quantum mechanics.

The birth of science is from philosophy, and then the merging of it with alchemy. Many regard modern science to have evolved in Western Europe, notably with the work of Sir Isaac Newton, but the roots of science could be traced back to Ancient Egypt, China, India, and Greece.

However, even philosophers must have known that thoughts, ideas, and concepts, without mathematics are just too vague. I think this is the exact point when philosophy started to turn into scientific theories. To quote the Scottish mathematician Lord Kelvin: "When you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it."

At some time I think philosophy, mathematics, and alchemy, came together and formed the start of scientific thinking, perhaps Metaphysics (the meaning of which is still not accurately defined) was the intermediate stage between philosophy and the application of mathematical measurements and experimentation to philosophical ideas and chemical substances, and this was the beginning of scientific thinking.

It's extraordinary to try to imagine how the science of particle physics and quantum mechanics could possibly have been discovered, and then progressed into so much of the technology that has brought about our modern civilization, considering the fact that scientists haven't seen the actual atom, even with today's high-tech sophisticated equipment.

In my opinion Quantum Mechanics was discovered before particle physics, and it started with the first photograph in France by Joseph Nicèphore in 1827, using the camera obscura. The photograph titled: 'Point de Vue' has survived, however, I didn't find in my research any record of a photograph taken prior to it, so I'm assuming it is the first. Nicèphore had the genuise idea to use light sensitive liquid on a plate and expose it to sunlight for several days in the dark chamber of the camera obscura. What he found was that rays of sunlight were carrying images of the surrounding. He named the process Heliographie or 'sun writing.'

Connected or not I do not know but the discovery of the first evidence of the atom was in 1828, and the electron was discovered in 1897 by English physicist J.J. Thomson.

It appears to me that the first photograph, which showed that sunlight could carry so much information as to print a whole photograph was an eye-opener towards discovering Quantum Mechanics, and that light was so much more than what it appeared to be. It's very likely that the idea of capturing images must have been inspired by mirrors, and smooth reflective surfaces prior to the invention of mirrors.

Side note: The silver layered mirror was first invented by German chemist Justus von Liebig in 1835. Different types of mirrors go back 8,000 years.

In the 1900s German physicist Max Planck formulated the Planck's Constant, a scale for describing the behaviour of particles and waves on the atomic level. Planck's Constant is fundamental in the mathematical articulation of Quantum Mechanics.

To simplify this explanation, we have to go back to the fact that physicists cannot see an actual atom, it's just too small and so these are the scales at which Quantum Mechanics function, and classical mechanics is no longer applicable. So it has its own scale for describing it mathematically.

I did some research at the CERN website, and it turns out scientists identify atoms and subatomic particles through their effects on detectors and not direct observation - which so far is not possible. The effects of these particles and their mathematical description is their identity.

Before Planck's Constant there was a problem on how to measure a wave of light accurately, since the wave is hypothetically a continuum. That means the lenght division of a wave could be infinite, but if you count it as packets of photons that cannot be divided, it's possible to do accurate equations and mathematical descriptions.

He introduced the theory that photons are packets of "quanta" this way it was possible to do accurate calculations.

Side note: Photons are massless particles that comprise electromagnetic radiation, their energy after the Planck's Constant is calculated by their frequency - which is waves it propagates as it moves.

Albert Einstein used the Planck's Constant to describe why in the Photo Electric Effect there was a "threshold frequency" for the 'work function.' That is when photons hit a metal plate electrons are emitted, but the frequency of the photons has to be the suitable type for the particular electrons, for the transfer of energy to eject the electron - this phenomena is due to the Law of the Conservation of Energy (physics.)

Einstein won a Nobel Prize for his work on the Photo Electric Effect.

As a young boy Albert Einstein first got inspired from the needle of a compass, he was amazed and curious to discover what was the hidden force that guided the needle.

These were some clues about how those scientists became innovative, and there was a collective scientific consciousness.

While natural phenomena and nature are the ultimate sources of discovering new science, the motivation could stem from inspirational stories, like for example the first rockets was inspired by H.G. Well's science fiction book 'War of the Worlds.'

Science and technology get refined and improved with the accumulation of information, techniques, the mixing of different disciplines, and better mathematical solutions. We can see a very recent example in the Raptor engines of SpaceX rockets. The first Raptor looks like scrambled wires and rods, and then their appearance is improved as they are optimized with precision.

We have entered the era of artificial intelligence assisted scientific research and progress. Our civilization is going through rapid changes. I often read that once we harness solar power on the scale of the Earth, instead of the use of fossil fuels, we will be categorized as a Type 2 Civilization on the Kardashev Scale.

In 1964, Soviet astronomer Nikolai Kardashev wrote a paper in which he presented a hypothetical scale for alien civilizations. The paper titled: Transmission of Information by Extraterrestrial Civilizations.

He theorized that these civilizations could transmit more powerful signals based on how much energy they can harness. The theory went through updates by other astronomers over the years, including Carl Sagan who added decimal points and so Earth could figure in the percentage.

On the Kurzgesagt channel I saw a video that stated that the present Kardashev Scale has four categories:

1. A Type 1 Civilization that can harness all the energy of its planet.

2. A Type 2 can harness the energy of its star as well.

3. A Type 3 the energy of its galaxy

4. A Type 4 the energy of multiple galaxies

On Earth we are already using fossil fuels and other natural resources for energy, and solar power is also increasingly being used around the world. So are we a Type 1 Civilization going on Type 2? And suppose we were to expand our energy consumption to other planets, and if I were to say galaxies that's just science fiction. But hypothetically what would the effect be on the environment. I think in the updates to the theory that I read, the main point of the original theory was completely missed or overlooked. Nikolai Kardashev spoke about transmission of information. Consider information reaching a Type 1 Civilization from a Type 2 or 3 civilization, which could be realistic instead of science fiction. The information could be so advanced that it can bring new science and progress to the Type 1 Civilization. This type of universally expanded thinking (even science fiction) with the natural real world workings of our planet and the universe, I think are the keys to innovative thinking and new science.

Arjuwan Lakkdawala is an author and independent science researcher/journalist

X/Twitter/Instagram: Spellrainia

Email: [email protected]

Sources:

LibreTexts chemistry, photons

BBC, science focus, kardashev scale: what is it and where is earth listed?, alex hughes

Britannica, einstein and the photoelectric effect, gordon leslie squires, fact-checked by the editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica

APS News, this month in physics history, einstein and the photoelectric effect

Tech Target, planck's constant, gavin wright

Live Science, who invented the mirror?, Joseph castro

Britannica, discovery of electrons, sharon bertsch mcgrayne, james trefil, all fact-checked by the editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica

Britannica, superunification and the planck era, frank h. shu, fact-checked by the editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica

Physlink.com, how did max planck determine the planck lenght?, question #644

Medium, walking the planck: the weird world of the littlest measure

Quotefancy, lord kelvin

Live Science, quantum mechanics: definitions, axioms, and key concepts of quantum physics, adam mann, contributions from robert cool

CERN, how a detector works

Harry Ransom Center, the nicèphore heliographe

PBS Space Time, planck's constant and the origin of quantum mechanics

University of Toronto, wsCH2, the origin of physics

ABC Science, photoelectric effect explained in simple words for beginners

#Arjuwan Lakkdawala #Ink in the Internet #science #physics #kardashev scale #photo electric effect #heliographe #Albert Einstein #Frankenstein #Joseph nicephore #electromagnetic radiation #planck's constant #max planck #quantum mechanics

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egypttourgroup · 17 days ago

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What to Pack for a Nile Cruise: Essential Guide

A Nile cruise is an enchanting way to explore the treasures of ancient Egypt, blending the luxury of modern travel with the timeless beauty of the Nile River. Packing wisely is essential to ensure a comfortable and memorable experience. Here’s a comprehensive guide to what you should bring along.

1. Clothing Essentials

The climate in Egypt can vary depending on the season, so it’s important to dress appropriately. Keep in mind that the dress code is generally casual, but you might need specific outfits for temples, evenings, or excursions.

Lightweight, breathable fabrics: Pack clothes made from natural fibers like cotton or linen to stay cool during daytime excursions.

Layered clothing: Mornings and evenings can be chilly, especially in winter (November to February). Include a light jacket, scarf, or cardigan.

Modest attire for excursions: While Egypt is relatively tourist-friendly, it’s respectful to wear modest clothing when visiting temples or local villages. Long pants, skirts, and tops covering the shoulders are advisable.

Comfortable shoes: You’ll be walking a lot during excursions to temples and historical sites, often on uneven terrain. Sturdy walking shoes or sandals with good grip are a must.

Swimwear: Most cruise ships have a pool, so bring a swimsuit for relaxing on board.

Evening wear: Some cruises have formal or semi-formal dinners, so pack one or two dressy outfits.

2. Sun Protection

Egypt's sun can be intense, particularly during the day. Protect yourself with the following essentials:

Wide-brimmed hat or cap

Sunglasses with UV protection

High-SPF sunscreen

Light scarf or shawl to cover your neck or shoulders from the sun

3. Personal Essentials

To answer about What to Pack for a Nile Cruise ? make your trip more comfortable and hassle-free, don’t forget these personal items:

Travel documents: Bring your passport, visa (if required), travel insurance, and any printed tickets or confirmations.

Currency: Egyptian pounds are used locally, but US dollars or Euros can sometimes be accepted. Bring small denominations for tips.

Reusable water bottle: Staying hydrated is crucial in the hot climate. Use a bottle with a filter for convenience.

Personal hygiene items: Many cruises provide basic toiletries, but you might want your preferred brands for toothpaste, shampoo, etc.

Medicines: Carry a basic first-aid kit, prescription medications, motion sickness tablets, and remedies for common issues like digestive discomfort.

4. Tech and Gadgets

Ensure you’re equipped to capture memories and stay connected:

Camera or smartphone: For photographing Egypt's stunning scenery and landmarks.

Portable charger: Ideal for long days of sightseeing.

Universal travel adapter: Egypt uses a mix of European-style plugs (Type C and F).

E-reader or book: Perfect for relaxing downtime on deck.

5. Miscellaneous Items

A few extra items can add convenience and fun to your Nile cruise:

Binoculars: Great for spotting wildlife or taking in views from the deck.

Notebook or travel journal: Record your impressions and adventures.

Small backpack or daypack: Useful for carrying essentials during excursions.

Snacks: While food is provided on board, having a few favorite snacks for excursions can be helpful.

Packing Tips

Pack light: Cruise cabins can be compact, so avoid overpacking.

Layer wisely: Bring versatile pieces that you can mix and match.

Laundry service: Many cruises offer laundry facilities, which can help you pack fewer items.

By packing thoughtfully, you’ll be prepared for all aspects of your Nile cruise, from leisurely days on deck to awe-inspiring temple visits. With the right essentials in your bag, you can focus on soaking in the history and beauty of Egypt without any stress.

#Pack for a Nile Cruise

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bridegoalstheblog · 3 months ago

Link

#dmvphotoboothrental #photoboothrentaldc

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surebathrooms · 5 months ago

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Breathe New Life into Your Auckland Bathroom with Sure Bathrooms NZ

Is your Auckland bathroom stuck in a time warp? Does it lack the functionality or style you crave? At Sure Bathrooms NZ, we understand the power a bathroom renovation can have on your home and your well-being. We're here to guide you through the process, from initial inspiration to the luxurious soak in your dream bathroom.

Sure Bathrooms NZ: Your Auckland Renovation Partner

At Sure Bathrooms NZ, we're passionate about creating bathrooms that are as beautiful as they are functional. We offer a complete renovation service, taking the stress out of the project and ensuring a smooth and successful outcome. Our team of experienced designers, project managers, and installers will work closely with you to understand your vision, budget, and needs.

Finding Inspiration for Your Auckland Bathroom

Auckland's architectural landscape is diverse, and your bathroom renovation should reflect that! Whether you live in a charming villa or a modern apartment, we can create a design that complements your home's style.

Embrace the Classic Charm: Capture the timeless elegance of your villa with features like clawfoot bathtubs, pedestal sinks, and subway tiles in calming whites or light greys. Don't forget black and white checkered flooring for a touch of heritage.

Go Modern and Bold: For a sleek and contemporary aesthetic, opt for clean lines, geometric shapes, and high-tech features. Think walk-in showers with rainfall fixtures, wall-mounted vanities, and statement lighting. Pops of color with mosaic tiles or a bold vanity unit can add personality.

Maximizing Space in Your Auckland Bathroom

Auckland homes come in all shapes and sizes, and bathrooms are no exception. Sure Bathrooms NZ specializes in creating a sense of spaciousness, even in compact bathrooms:

The Power of Mirrors: Strategically placed mirrors reflect light and visually expand the space. Consider a mirrored cabinet above the sink or a full-length wall mirror.

Walk-in Shower Bliss: Ditch the bulky bathtub for a sleek walk-in shower. Opt for clear glass panels and minimal hardware to maintain an open feel.

Storage Solutions are Key: Built-in shelves, wall-mounted cabinets, and well-organized vanity drawers keep clutter at bay, making the space feel less cramped. Let Sure Bathrooms NZ design a storage solution that fits your needs.

Transform Your Bathroom into a Spa-Like Retreat

Why not create a personal oasis in your own home? Sure Bathrooms NZ can help you incorporate spa-inspired touches to elevate your bathroom experience:

Immerse Yourself in Luxury: Indulge in a rainfall showerhead that mimics a refreshing downpour.

Warm Towel Bliss: Add a touch of comfort with a heated towel rail, ensuring warm towels are always at hand.

The Ultimate Relaxation: If space allows, a freestanding bathtub is the ultimate indulgence. Soak away the day's stresses in a luxurious haven.

Lighting Sets the Mood

Don't underestimate the power of lighting! Sure Bathrooms NZ will help you choose the right lighting to create the desired atmosphere. Soft, warm lighting is perfect for relaxation, while brighter task lighting is essential near the vanity.

Adding Your Personal Touch

Your bathroom should reflect your unique style. Sure Bathrooms NZ encourages you to personalize your space with:

Artwork: Hang calming prints or photographs to add a touch of color and personality.

A Touch of Nature: Introduce a touch of life with potted plants or hanging greenery to create a serene atmosphere.

Accessorize with Style: Choose stylish towels, soap dispensers, and toothbrush holders to complete your dream bathroom look.

Ready to Start Your Auckland Bathroom Renovation?

At Sure Bathrooms NZ, we're here to make your bathroom renovation journey a positive one. Contact us today for a free consultation. We'll discuss your vision, create a detailed plan, and provide you with a transparent quote. Let Sure Bathrooms NZ transform your Auckland bathroom Renovations into a beautiful and functional space you'll love for years to come.

#Auckland Bathroom Renovations

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magpiesprings · 5 months ago

Video

youtube

Magpie Springs Wine Designs Wine making, cellar door and vineyard Images for sale online. Perfect wine lover gifts. Have accommodation in a wine region decorate with wine designs. Looking for wine bar décor? Looking for a wine tasting day outfit? Gift basket ideas for wine lover? Want to get the conversation about wine started EVEN BEFORE saying hello??? Wear or carry something which talks about wine in the design! People WILL KNOW immediately this person IS ALL ABOUT WINE TODAY! Cut to the chase! – Wear it – carry it – decorate with it you will notice the difference it makes! Look the part! Pick a design you like then see it on ALL the products. Redbubble a global print on demand company prints and sends products on purchase. These curated winemaking images are now available globally via Redbubble in the Magpie Springs online shop on Clothing :- Dresses, Leggings, Mini skirts, Sweatshirts, Hoodies, T-Shirts, Tank Tops. Phone Cases :- iPhone Cases, Samsung Cases, Stickers :- Matte Stickers, Glossy Stickers and Transparent StickersWall Art :- Art Board Prints, Art Prints, Canvas Prints, Framed Prints, Metal Prints, Mounted Prints, Photographic Prints and Posters, Home and Living :- Acrylic Blocks, Aprons, Bath Mats, Bedding, Clocks, Coasters, Jigsaw Puzzles, Magnets, Mugs, Pillows and Cushions, Shower Curtains and Tapestries. Stationery and Office :- Greeting Cards, Hardcover Journals, Mouse Pads, Desk Mats, Postcards, Spiral Notebooks, Accessories :- Backpacks, Drawstring Bags, Duffle Bags, Hats, Pins, Scarves, Socks, Tech Accessories, Tote Bags and Zipper Pouches Pet Accessories :- Pet Blankets, Pet Bandanas, Pet Mats Let the fun begin! Images inspired by an Adelaide Hills Wine Region vineyard Magpie Springs designed by Adelaide Artist Avril Thomas. https://www.redbubble.com/lists/13911440/vineyard-w

#youtube #wine #winelover #wine region #wine enthusiast #wine lover gifts #wine tasting day outfit #wine region decor #wine making #wine school #viticulture

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whanaukaretao · 10 months ago

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Supervisor hui 1

Takashi Homma 'The Narcissistic City'

21 February 2024

Today's main takeaways from my first supervisor hui with David Cowland:

Apply for Whitecliffe Tech Hub courses in Human Figure drawing (Julia Teale) and also Print (Matt Dowman). Preference is given to year 2s but apply and see how I get on. The drawing will help me understand human movement and assist with my manga and photography. Treat it as fun and be upfront with the lecturer that I'm not really a drawer.

Create a mind map grid on paper of the different areas of my project I'm currently tossing around ideas about. eg Skills (drawing, print, illustrating on tablet, etc skills acquisition), Picture Library (reference images, shoots, etc), Manga, Immersive, etc because I have a lot of ideas/things going on. Make sure to be working on each of these areas as I explore.

Photograph movement on my shoots in a continuous sequence (eg. a person crossing the street or walking into a store) as this will help with my manga. Also experiment with wide shots and then 'violent' close ups as this will also help with the manga.

Study Akashi Homma's photobook 'The Narcissistic City' as it has some overlaps with how I'm considering depicting K Rd. Also, Osamu Kanemura's 'Concrete Octopus'.

Look at if Māori have a particular order of story telling narrative. This followed me showing Dave a manga book and the particular order Japanese manga follows.

Talk with Roman Mitch at Whitecliffe and also Matt Dowman about my futuristic Māori ideas.

Be aware of Dall-E AI Image generator and AI video generation technologies. nofilmschool.com recently published an article about it.

It's legitimate for me to be using AI in my image and video generation so continue to explore this.

Learn about AR (Augmented Reality) as this could assist with my immersive ideas for my project.

Google Photoshop and illustrator for manga learning. Also, look at LinkedIn Learning to help with my skills acquisition.

Check out Dave's Tumblr accounts - photo urbanism and architecture sound images.

Have a look at Afro-futuristic movement as it deals with alternative visions to colonialism. eg. Lee Scratch Perry.

Look at Pacific artist Luca Macioce's video that's used the Sopranos opening sequence to depict Auckland.

Consider adopting a grid format for my Tumblr as it will help show the interconnections between my work and ideas.

The Design department has some tablets for illustrators and it may be possible to use one to help me with my learning. Alternatively, Photo Media may look into getting one.

It's legitimate for me to use Japanese manga and anime as an artistic device in my project as it's an inspiration from my recent Japan travels. So it's unnecessary for me to use demographic projections as a justification (suggesting a much larger Asian population in Auckland/NZ in 2040 and beyond).

0 notes

signshopjacksonville · 2 years ago

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How To Transform Your Office With Wall Graphics

Let’s be honest, nobody likes working when they’re unhappy. In fact, people are 13% more productive when they’re happier, according to an Oxford University study. Attractive workplaces attract better talent too, which is why the tech giants are always locked in a battle for engaging, cool offices.

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There is a reason why most office spaces have motivational quotes on the wall: they work! Employees will feel inspired and carry the mindset to their work. Harvard Business Review suggests that office and wall graphics design transforms workspaces from empty spaces to impactful learning centers, which people look forward to returning to. They can foster team interaction, create spaces for socializing, and encourage creative thinking.

Don’t Forget the Past: Company Achievements

Timelines, founders’ photographs, company outings, achievements, and mission statements are all vital elements of your business. Use vinyl wall graphics to display all that your company has achieved tastefully.

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Some of the most popular mural designs are world maps (in a variety of colors), city skylines (to show where your offices are located), and abstract patterns.

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A creative wall graphic is only as good as its design, which is why you need to work with a creative team. At Jacksonville Signs and Graphics, our team is trusted by all types of businesses in the Northeast Florida Area for stunning designs that enhance the workspace and boost morale.

Source: https://jacksonvillesignsandgraphics.com/transform-your-office-with-wall-graphics/

#Wall graphics #Wall graphics jacksonville #custom wall graphics

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ghostowlattic · 2 years ago

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Heyo mate,

I really love your art, happy to find you at tumblr. I'm just wondering, are those digital or real creations? Your art looks so real but also seems like digitally created. You haven't used any tags for this information. Btw your art is amazing and really magical, thanks for existing ^^

Have a wonderful day and sun & moon keeps bring you good luck! Farewell :3

-Lona

Thank you much! I wrote some replies to this, all which ended up rather long winded, so instead as short as possible reply for you and others.

I really just love making music. I'm mostly a musician, songwriter, composer. Piano/keys but I play a lot of musical instruments or use things for soundmaking. I do have many sorts of visual arts posted but I'm 99.9999% certain you mean the recent deluge of AI assisted images I've been sharing which, are a blend of AI, diffusion/Midjourney, personal images, photos, but those are not real objects as far as all those terrariums etc go.

I try to actually tag anything I use for the most or just add 'generative'. Anything that doesn't pick up crypto peeps really. Anyhow, it's all more of a dreaming visual diary for myself and others. Or a bit of visual reflection of my musical brainscapes. I often use a mix of my own photographs images, fed into an ai model or two. But I don't promote myself as an artist really. I don't even mind selling prints of mine for the sake of health care and rations but, otherwise it's for just ideation, inspiration, dreams. People can enjoy it any way they want.

There's a lot I could say about it all and the good and terrible of ai or tech in general but would take up too much space here, I'm really not much of a tech bro person either, but I don't hate machines. We are an entire universe of jiggly energy so, whatever. At very least I like the notion of infecting such things with as much love and beauty and good ole weirdness especially if some is unstoppable for better and worse. This is all for the sake of it. Really, a ton of those images are already made so, vs just leaving them in a folder I figure I may as well share some for others to see.

Anyhow, thank you kindly Lona - and anyone else, if you like the images/blog feel free to check out my bandcamp or soundcloud or my music/video posts here. I think its rather visual and odd beautiful in its own ways also. Sorry for the longish reply but it's also for others who wonder or who send me inquiries lately.

I do like this Glenn Gould quote on art, 'The purpose of art is not the release of a momentary ejection of adrenaline but is, rather, the gradual, lifelong construction of a state of wonder and serenity.' – Glenn Gould

I love 'art' being for personal expression or communication of things which go beyond language and reference, for music at least. Yet I also love the romantic notion reflecting things which leave us in a state of wonder that seem larger, Nature, etc. VS just self expression and human stuffs. I guess to me I don't see much point of personal expression if it doesn't include a bit of awareness of not being the center of the universes.

Most of all I'm a biopheliac and sound lover. Very open always for collabs of artistic natures as well. Music, arts, film, games, public expressive dance terrorism, whatever.

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pixe2022 · 3 years ago

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Leopard around exotic tropical leaves product graphic

Leopard Prints containing Pop art inspired leopard and leaf camouflage vector product graphic with seamless repeat pattern. Leopard Print Pattern market is now heating up and trends focused on royalty, heritage designs and Persian Designs are considered to be in huge demand.

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#fashion #print design #printed art #printed designs #printed wall design

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hydralisk98 · 3 years ago

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Topics

Mystics

fMtF (subliminal V12)

NB gender-neutral body

Photographical memory

Chronokinesis

True polymorph

Morphological freedom + identity safety + respect of privacy

Historymaker

Loyal proactive friends tribe (Comrades until the end)

Retro electronics

Hypercompetency

Mastermind

Linguist

Desired languages

Vintage (skills)

Retro Cartoonist

2D-3D Animation Artist

Grand Strategy

Custom Fantasy Imagination realm design

Multimedia Presentational skills

Charisma

Prestige

Sanity

Intelligence

Wisdom

Perception

Dexterity

5D Game Developer

Computing

Ambidexterity

Ideal handwriting

Videogenic

Popularity

Ethos (Respecting your personal ethics code)

Ideal face body voice metabolism

Wholesome sub music playlist

Relax sub music playlist

Artistic skills

Analog skills

Symbolics

Digitally literate

Sponsored studies

Studies motivation

Get what you want from the free market

Career

Retrofuturism

Constructive & Timeless Progress

Preservationist & Inclusive Tradition

Aesthetic, vintage but electrified car

Vast appartment

Universal basic income+++

Governing agencies full respect

Curator of all Knowledge

Philosophy mastership

Political GLOW

Master of Dice and Pawns

You are ROOT now

Living meme

Prevent the Apocalypse the Timeless way

Bookworms

Tinkerer and Innovator

Fight back against the Wilsonism

Full Legality & Bills of Rights

Generalities

Introduction

Draw my life

Overcoming the odds of my childhood

Why I make Youtube videos

Channel trailer

Why and how to get started on YT

Mature lessons I learnt in my first 20 years of living

Evolution of the Olive (subliminal results and before-after things)

Remake old videos and do old video ideas

Reacting to content I curate

Shoutout

Collaboration

Behind the scenes

How I do Video process

Tutorials

Channel anniversary

Subscriber milestone

Q&A

Random thoughts

Answer frequently asked questions

Vlogs

Boredom busters

Idols

Charity

Inspirations

Outdoors local town trip

Room tour

Collection

Show a skill or talent

Show your workspaces

What is on my blank

Applications to recommend

Favs

Pet peeves

Serious

My Autism and #RedInstead

Transfeminity as a aspie

How I got into mysticism and why pure rationalism is flawed

How to use HTML5 & CSS3 the lightweight fashion

Manifesto of a Neue Geo Syndicalist

FLOSS licenses and

Nostalgia of days gone by

Psychics and what lies ahead

Shrine and ZealOS

Paradise

CTSS & ITS

Multics

Unix v5-v6

Gyo, Uxn

Windows ME, Windows 3.11fWg, Windows 2.11 for 386

Linux from Scratch

FreeBSD, OpenBSD

TSS/8, RSX-11M, CP/M

12-bit tribble for computer science advocacy

Cinnamon DE, Lxqt & KDE DEs...

Index card catalogs (Pocket and Room formats)

FreeCiv, Civ5CE, EU4, CK2...

Pixel art dolls, GIFs, aesthetic assets and styles

Constructed world building with GPlates, GProjector, QGIS and ArcGIS...

Rolodexes, flipbooks and memopads notes

Retro-style engineering projects

Plan9 and the Linux bubble of corporate corruption

Software piracy, emulation, demoscene... has much good going for them

Old web 2.0 memories from a priviledged Cusper

Indie maker culture and the triple A magnates

Crafting stationery and writing implements

Why is tech preservation important?

Long rant about Nazism, Communism and Wilsonism

How would evolve computing if the Germans won WW2?

Analysis upon the mid era Soviet computing industry (before 1969 that is)

What can the Neo-Conservatives do to withstand the test of time?

What can the New-Leftists do to withstand the test of time?

PC upgrade

Silly

Meme compilations

Fantasy world simulations like Famana

Card games

Chess sets

Desktop customization theme packs

Unity PixelCrushers' smart agents simulations

Shimeji-ees

MIDI tracks

Fonts

Memes

Collages

3D models

Paperkura

Music box songs

Explorable explainations

SVG toon comics

Maps

Flags

RPs

Prints

Desk calendars

Rolodex carrousel

Demographic reports

Atlases

Photographies

Soundscapes

History logs

Rollercoasters

Zachtronics-like toys

Soundtracks

Sifteo

DSi

2DS

Dreamcast

N64

SG-1000 / MasterSystem

Fursuits

Cyberware

Civilization sums

Playing Minecraft

Playing Roblox

Playing Hypnospace Outlaw

Playing Garry's Mod

Playing S&ndbox

Playing D&D 5e

Playing Pathfinder 2e

Playing Talespinner EU

Memories

Retro video games

Reactive commentaries

Curated goodness

Creativity

Recording lively moments in my life

Opinions

Fully controversial taboo topics

~~~~

I BELIEVE IN YOU KLARA, JUST DO IT AND CALL IT A DAY.

#maskoch

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architectuul · 4 years ago

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Demolitions

for Czechoslovakia’s architectures between 1960s–1980s is a controversial subject. The public may still regard it negatively, owing to a lack of information or an adverse experience with the country’s regime before the Velvet Revolution.

Omnipol Building by Zdeněk Kuna, Zdeněk Stupka, Milan Valenta, Josef Zdražil, Ladislav Vrátník (1974–1979) | Photo © Kamil Warta, National Gallery Prague

youtube

Erosion of Transgas (2020) by NGP/Loom on the Moon

Helena Doudová, the curator of the exhibition NO DEMOLITIONS! Forms of Brutalism in Prague, presents Brutalism buildings in Prague that prominently enter the urban scene. The nearly two hundred and fifty original architectural plans, photographs and models come mostly from the Architecture Collection of the National Gallery Prague. The examples of the most progressive architecture works feature the Kotva Department Store, the former Central Telecommunications Building at Žižkov (marked for demolition), the former Federal Assembly, Hotel Intercontinental and Barrandov Bridge and the recently demolished Transgas complex.

“No Demolitions!” is a quite straightforward title for an exhibition. What is happening in Prague and the Czech Republic, that led you to organize this exhibition and choose this title?

With the exhibition we intended to highlight the values of late modern and brutalist architecture in Prague that becomes either demolished or refurbished beyond the point of recognition. Some of the buildings ceased to exist throughout the one year since we started working on the topic. We intended to show that the buildings by the architects like Karel Prager, Karel Filsak, the husband-and-wife team Machoninovi and Šrámkovi have built edifices, which are comparable with the most prestigious architecture production of the former Western Europe and the US.

Center of Home Design by Věra Machoninová, Vladimír Machonin (1971–1981) | | Photo © Kamil Wartha, National Gallery Prague

The Trade Fair Palace is an exclusive choice for an architectural exhibition; why did you choose this location?

It is a building with strong symbolic meaning, a real jewel of functionalist architecture but at the same time it is difficult to present an exhibition due to technical parameters as light because paper plans and photography are very sensitive to it. The gallery floor plan worked quite well in a sequence, so the exhibition concept fit quite well. Ondřej Císler created vitrines with colored large plans and prints from the architecture collection of the National Gallery in Prague. Plans are contrasted with the photography of the deteriorated state of the buildings by Olja Triaška Stefanović.

In many countries of the former East Bloc, protecting Late Modern architecture creates a specific challenge, as these buildings are widely associated with the negative perception of the political era they were created in. This can very easily lead to iconoclastic gestures, as we have seen in the case of Skopje 2014. What can art history, museology and the wider profession do against this phenomenon?

The negative public opinion toward these buildings is a cluster of multiple problems. One general problem not only in the Central or Eastern Europe is the poor long term maintenance, which makes the buildings appear even more brutal than intended in the architecture design. As the exhibition shows, the architects were thinking of the public space around these buildings, inserted artworks and parks, as a number of designs show.

Secondly, the political associations are difficult, but also controversial to me. I very much think that the socialist state invested into large public buildings before 1989 and did provide socially accessible culture programs, sports, etc. So to me the brutalist buildings are valuable and authentic through their aim to belong to the community but also undercover propaganda. One can’t change people's memories or their experience with communism, but it’s not the fault of buildings that were ironically planned in the golden sixties in the time of the political détente in Czechoslovakia.

The exhibition | Photo © Katarína Hudačinová, the National Gallery Prague

In comparison, no large public building in Prague has been built since 30 years, what shows the shift of the capital flow with privatization. Nowadays, the real estate investors misuse the negative public opinion to demolish high quality buildings to acquire lucrative plots in the city centre for private investment. In many cases it would have been possible to reuse the brutalist buildings at a lower expense, like for example the Embassy of CZ in Berlin.

The National Gallery seems to be a prestigious place for the exhibition about the architecture of an era that is widely disputed and is also a strong institutional statement; how are Czech academics and professionals reacting to the events around the architecture of the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s?

I very much believe in the power of the exhibition as a tool for mediation and education, but also bringing up controversial or uncomfortable topics. That is the position the National Gallery has. Its architecture collection is centred around post-1945 architecture so it is logical to present it in an innovative perspective. Brutalism has received international acclaim in architecture history since 2010s, so we have had many academic discussions, but to me it is important to bring the phenomenon to the public. It is interesting that the expression is the same in former East and West, the only difference is that in the former West the buildings like the MET Breuer are celebrated, while in the former East these buildings are admired by the professionals and despised by the wide public.

In most of our countries we see the profession and the public speaking out to protect some of these buildings, in Hungary this happened by the proposed demolition of Zoltán Gulyás’ Chemolimpx office building in the early 2010s, and more recently when the government announced the demolition of Csaba Virág’s soc-hi-tech Electric Power Distribution Center. There are similar stories in Czechia and Poland - how do you explain the public being so involved in these cases?

Yes, there is an entire movement of active architecture historians, architects and interested public. David Crowley, the head of arts department of the NCAD in Dublin, is a great observer of these shifts, which demonstrate a renewal of the consciousness for public sphere and public spaces in general. So far the protests have been unsuccessful in confrontation with the investment pressures, a culmination point was the demolition of the Transgas building, public protests accompanied the demolition of Hotel Praha, and eventually rescued railway station in Havířov. Crowley says this a unique trait in Central Europe as he has not seen such engagement in the UK or Ireland. In Germany, the heritage protection of post-war buildings is really advanced by now, but there are not such strong public initiatives to me...

Transgas Complex by Ivo Loos, Jindřich Malátek, Václav Aulický, Jiří Eisenreich, Jiří Kozák, Jan Fišer (1966–1978) | Photo © Kamil Wartha, National Gallery Prague

Why did you choose brutalism as a specific style to sum up these buildings? Strictly speaking, the term is quite well defined and confined to a specific group of mostly British and American buildings, what is brutalism in your definition?

The usual association is béton brut, with the main inspiration of Le Corbusier. At the same time, I took at hand Rayner Banham, who speaks about three criteria, in short – the figure, the revealed construction and authenticity of material, which would better comply with the notion of brutalism in variety. Also brutalism has been changing from the expression of the Smithson's Hunstanton school, to let's say Paul Rudolph. In such way brutalism became an international expression with multiple specifics.

Hotel Intercontinental by Karel Filsak, Karel Bubeníček, Jiří Louda, Jaroslav Švec a kol. (1968–1974) | Photo © Kamil Wartha, National Gallery Prague

The notion of brutalism has been a subject of a dispute in the curatorial team with Petr Vorlík, Klára Brůhová (CTU Prague) and Radomíra Sedláková (NG Prague). We assumed the Czech architecture was influenced by brutalism, to a smaller or larger extent depending on every architect. Architecture of late modernism in Czech shows finer handling of material such as glass, mosaics, of wooden cladding, a variety of bright colours, that do not particularly express the notion of brutalism associated with rough concrete. The houses do in a way respect the scale of the surrounding city, are most often broken down in a composition of smaller volumes, reference bay windows of surrounding houses, etc.

At the same time the label brutalism is in public drawn to all kinds of buildings, which have with little or nothing to do with late modernism, actually, are clad in stone. So as architecture historians we strived to differentiate and raise public awareness on the topic.

Is there a specific Czech brutalism? Are there any national or regional characteristics in this era?

This is not an easy question. Brutalism was a global and a local phenomenon. Interestingly, in the Czechoslovak architecture we see magazines that iconic brutalist buildings were published, like La Tourette, or the architecture by Stirling in the 1960s and 1970s. So the information iron curtain was more semi-penetrable in terms of architecture knowledge and expression, like Ákos Moravánszky says. The regional specifics construction processes, the quality and variability of materials, which was lower in the former Eastern block, and also the public opinion which incorrectly associates the buildings with state socialism.

We are talking about the architectural production of an era that produced an incredible amount of buildings. How is it possible to create a canon for such a recent past and what do you think about the monumental protection regarding these buildings? What should be protected and how? Can you also name a few example, interesting buildings (and interiors) from Czechia?

A unique example is the already heritage protected Kotva Department Store by architect's team Věra and Vladimír Machoninovi.

The former Federal Assembly is another iconic example of a daring construction originally intended for bridges. It encloses the former classical modernist stock exchange building and complements the ensemble anew. Interiors have unfortunately been refurbished and only very few items are present in the museums.

A unique example is the Czech embassy in Berlin with intact interiors. A contested interior reconstruction is currently Hotel Thermal by Machoninovi in Karlovy Vary. At least five outstanding buildings have been demolished in Prague, countless have been refurbished. Only two above-named brutalist buildings are heritage protected, other like Hotel Intercontinental by Filsak, or Centrotex by Hiský, Motokov by Kuna should become protected as unique works of art and architecture.

___

Interview by Dániel Kovács and first published in Epiteszforum.

Helena Doudová is curator of the Architecture Collection of the National Gallery Prague. She gained curatorial and museum experience as research and curatorial fellow of the International Museum Program in the German Museum of Books and Writing in Leipzig in collaboration with the University of Erfurt and the German Federal Cultural Foundation 2016/2017, as a Robert Bosch Fellow at Architecture Museum of the TU Munich – Pinakothek der Moderne (2011–2012) and as an intern in the German Architecture Centre DAZ in Berlin (2013–2014). She initiated and curated NO DEMOLITIONS! Forms of Brutalism in Prague, Baugruppe ist super!, Image Factories: Infographics 1920-1945: Fritz Kahn, Otto Neurath. She is a PhD candidate at the Institute of Art History of the University of Zurich. She was awarded DAAD research scholarship and Aktion Österreich scholarship.

***

NO DEMOLITIONS! Forms of Brutalism in Prague

From 6.3.2020 to 22.11.2020 at the Trade Fair Palace – 3rd floor Dukelských hrdinů 47, 170 00 Praha 7 Map

Curator: Helena Doudová Collaborating experts / co-curators: Klára Brůhová (FA CTU in Prague), Radomíra Sedláková (NGP), Petr Vorlík (FA CTU in Prague)

#interview

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surebathrooms · 5 months ago

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Breathe New Life into Your Auckland Bathroom with Sure Bathrooms

Sure Bathrooms NZ: Your Auckland Renovation Partner

Finding Inspiration for Your Auckland Bathroom

Maximizing Space in Your Auckland Bathroom

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Lighting Sets the Mood

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theliterateape · 4 years ago

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Hell in a Handbasket

By David Himmel

SHE TAKES ONE LAST LONG DRAG FROM HER CIGARETTE. She pushes the smoke past her gleaming teeth and full lips and crushes the thing beneath her boot. Her black coffee has finally cooled to a barely drinkable temperature. She takes a sip as she enters the radio station. Another fucking morning show. This one in San Francisco. It’s still dark out and, between the cigarette and the coffee and all of the whiskey she drank last night, she has the worst morning breath in recorded human history.

She didn’t have time to brush her teeth. She overslept and was rushed out of her hotel room by Gavin the tour manager. The clothes she had worn at last night’s show were strewn across the floor. Gavin threw the jeans and Superman t-shirt at her as she struggled to get her naked body out of bed. She didn’t have to fuss with makeup or her hair; she looks the same at five in the morning in the grips of a hangover as she does at eleven at night when she’s in the grips of stage lights and adoring fans.

Way back before she was famous and had dreams of being interviewed by radio deejays, it didn’t matter what you looked like as much. The listeners couldn’t see you and the deejays looked just barely put together themselves. But today, everything is visual, and if this show is anything like all of the others, they’ll be recording the interview for the radio station’s YouTube page. She hates the beautification and objectification of women in the entertainment industry. However, she sees nothing wrong with not wanting to look like hammered rat shit, which is exactly how she feels. This morning, as she has been most mornings this past year, she’s self-aware enough to be thankful for her easy-to-manage looks.

Gavin makes the introductions in the studio. She smiles her big, brilliant smile—the one that makes men and women fall in love with her—and begins to charm the three morning show hosts.

“Good morning. I’m really happy to be here,” she says into the microphone. Her mouth is dry and it tastes like a circus floor. She reaches for the bottle of water one of the hosts handed her when she walked in. She thinks she should have had a piece of gum instead of that cigarette.

“You’re wearing a Superman t-shirt,” the fatter of the hosts says. “Are you a fan of the comics?”

“This isn’t a Superman t-shirt,” she says. “It’s a Supergirl t-shirt.”

“Hear, hear, sister!” says the woman host.

“And yes, I’m a fan of the comics.”

“For those of you just tuning in, we’ve got Jane Hadley in the studio with us this morning,” the thin host says in a well-rehearsed broadcaster’s voice. “If you’re not familiar with Jane Hadley then you’ve likely been in a coma trapped in a mine shaft for the past year. Her debut album, Hell in a Handbasket, is this year’s runaway hit and iTunes’ most downloaded album ever. Right now, Jane Hadley is a bigger deal than Taylor, Adele and Beyoncé.”

“Combined,” Fat Host says.

“And she’s performing a sold-out show at Decker Hall tonight,” Thin Host continues.

“But don’t worry,” Lady Host says, “if you didn’t get tickets for the show, we’ll be giving a pair away a little later on this morning. And I think—Jane, correct me if I’m wrong—that these tickets also include a backstage meet and greet.”

“They do,” Jane says. “I’ve even got my Selfie-Stick for photos.”

“Did you bring that Selfie-Stick with you this morning?” Fat Host asks. “I’d love to get a photo with you. You have to be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen this early in the morning.”

Jane smiles and laughs a hearty laugh that not even the most high-tech lie detector test could determine its authenticity one way or the other. “I didn’t bring it but I’m sure we’ll find a way to take a photo without it.”

“And you’re going to play a few songs for us this morning, too, right?” Lady Host asks.

“I brought my guitar and will even take requests.”

The three hosts celebrate over this surprise. Thin Host says, “You hear that, K–POP listeners? The beautiful and talented, Goddess of Rock Jane Hadley will be taking your requests for a live, in-studio acoustic session! Don’t go anywhere. You’re listening to the Manic Morning Show on 97.1, K–POP.”

Thin Hosts glances at Fat Host who taps a series of buttons on the control board and clicks a wireless mouse linked to the monitors. A station bump plays followed by a commercial break beginning with an ad for a local diamond dealer. The hosts take their headphones off.

“Do people actually listen this early?” Jane asks as she also removes her headphones.

“Not anymore,” Thin Host says.

“We’ll replay everything with you in the eight o’clock hour,” Lady Host says.

This is not how Jane saw her life. For one thing, she never thought she’d be a smoker. But divorce can promote bad habits as diversions from the heartache. And for another thing, she never thought she’d be divorced at thirty-seven years old, though she was only thirty-five when it all happened, which only makes it worse. She is too young to be divorced and too old to only now find herself at rockstar status. Unfortunately, without the divorce, the fame and fortune—and morning radio show interviews—would have continued to elude her.

Before she was Jane Hadley, the rock ’n’ roll singer/songwriter—the Goddess of Rock, bigger than Taylor, Adele, and Beyoncé combined, she was Jane Hadley, the folk ’n’ roll singer/songwriter who never sold more than a thousand albums and a few hundred t-shirts. Before she had a #1 album flying off the shelves and being downloaded to the Cloud by millions, and an entire merchandising department, she was just a girl who played in a few bands: the Stargazers, Rosie’s Dream Catcher, Jane and the Jaded Cowboys.

None of these were good band names and she knew it. But she liked the music they made. Sweet, folky, only as loud as the all-acoustic gear would allow. All her bands looked the same. Jane played rhythm guitar and sang lead. The lead guitar, keyboard, upright bass and percussion were played by men. This wasn’t intentional, it’s just how things played out. They sounded similar, too, although each incarnation sounded more practiced than the last, a byproduct of age and gig experience.

The Stargazers was her high school band. It lasted long enough to play mostly Simon & Garfunkel covers at a few garage shows and the school’s Battle of the Bands. She formed Rosie’s Dream Catcher in college with her then boyfriend, keyboardist Matt. They recorded one CD of ten original songs. They sold all one hundred copies for two bucks a piece by the time the band, and Jane and Matt, split three years later.

She wonders why they are waxing intellectual about Kurt Cobain and the meaning of “Smells Like Teen Spirit?” She just wants to plug tonight’s show, play a few songs, maybe answer a call and give vague, recycled answers about what inspired her to write the album. Instead, she’s bemoaning about the trappings of fame and denying any intention of making an album that will last the test of time. How Gen X of her. How Fiona Apple of her. How awful of her.

Jane always figured that if success in the music business was ever going to come to her it would have been with Jane and the Jaded Cowboys. It took her a little while to become comfortable with her name being segregated from the band name. She didn’t want to be a Diana Ross or Gloria Estefan but Adam, the guitarist, thought they should capitalize on the gender difference and put their radiant leader out front while her boys backed her up. Adam was a marketing major in college and while he was a gifted guitarist, his real talent was in hype.

Jane and the Jaded Cowboys were prolific. Their songwriting was a science. Jane would come to practice with lyrics ripped from her many tattered Moleskin journals and a tune she thought worked with the words. From there, all five would flesh the thing out until they had a nice little folky pop song. They were a good team and their musical tastes and abilities complemented each other well.

With the freedom provided by quarter-life adulthood, they toured a lot in the sixteen years they were together. They earned fans but none who would bleed for them, really. They played the festivals and a few of the storied concert halls spread throughout the country. They headlined some shows and shared the bill with acts that would go on to the kind of fame and success that Jane and the Jaded Cowboys were chasing but never caught up to.

Because being in the band didn’t pay a livable wage, everyone had real jobs. Jane tended bar at Queen Lizzie, a hipster hotspot in Chicago where the drinks are overpriced and the customers happily overpay. She hated the place and the customers but the money was too good to walk away from. She was able to afford the necessities: instruments, rent, food, clothes, tour van, gas money for the tour van and Moleskin journals. She even managed to save a fair amount and really hack away at her student loans. Not that her degree in art history was worth more than the paper the degree was printed on.

The songs she wrote reflected her life. They featured themes of loneliness, desire, road trips and regret. The songs weren’t bad. But they weren’t great either. Their most popular song among their few loyal fans is called “Photographic Art History.” It’s about wasting time and energy. One critic, writing for an online publication about the lineup of a summer festival in Chicago, described Jane and the Jaded Cowboys as, “a band that makes perfect background music for the perfect lazy day of napping.” On the band’s Facebook page, Adam spun the opinion by posting the review and writing, “IndieRock.com says ‘Jane and the Jaded Cowboys makes perfect music for the perfect day!’”

Jane hated the hype. But it was the best her band ever got.

And speaking of hype…

“Rolling Stone called you the voice of women of this generation,” Thin Host says. They are back from commercial break. “That seems like it could come with a lot of responsibility. Do you feel responsible to speak for your generation?”

Since Hell in a Handbasket dropped, many critics had echoed Rolling Stone’s claim. Jane used to see herself as a Joni Mitchell type, or Carole King or Carly Simon. Women from a very different generation. And one that isn’t hers. She isn’t even sure which generation the critics are talking about. At thirty-seven years old, she’s no longer part of the youth culture but she’s too young, still, and new to fame, to be a music veteran. And in the entertainment industry, the young and the old were the major markets. Everyone in the middle is white noise. Jane feels that if she’s the voice of any generation right now, it’s the White Noise Generation. But she can’t say that.

“First of all, it’s an insanely flattering thing to say about someone,” Jane answers. “But it’s also an insanely broad generalization and a little presumptuous. I didn’t make this record to be a statement about women or for all women or anything like that. And if we look at music history, we don’t ever really know how representative a musician was or wasn’t to her generation—or his—until the music has had time to mature and that generation, or whatever, has adapted from it in some way.”

“Well, take Kurt Cobain. In a way, your situation is similar to Cobain’s,” Thin Host says. “He was considered the voice of Generation X right out of the gate. And he was dead before his music and his generation really even had a chance to—what did you call it?—mature. But everyone was right. Kurt Cobain was, and still is considered to be, the voice of his generation.”

“So if you don’t already have a heroin addiction, you better get on that,” Fat Host says.

“No, then she’d just be compared to Courtney Love. And no woman wants to be compared to Courtney Love,” Lady Host says.

“Yikes. God no. That’s even worse than being compared to Yoko Ono,” Jane says.

“There are so many awful women in rock ’n’ roll,” Fat Host says.

“You named two,” Jane says. “The awful men in rock ’n’ roll still outweigh us twenty-to-one.”

“And that’s why she wears that t-shirt,” Lady Host says.

They all have a laugh as Jane glances at the clock on the studio wall. She’s booked for an hour. It’s only been eleven minutes. She wants to go back to sleep. The coffee isn’t working. She considers what it would be like if she did start using heroin. It’s cheaper than booze, cigarettes and even coffee. And on the road, it’s often easier to get.

“Okay, I understand that you’re reluctant to accept your influential role in today’s culture,” Thin Host says.

“It’s not a reluctance,” she says.

“A rejection then,” he says.

“No. I mean, they’re just songs.”

“But don’t you want your songs to mean something? Isn’t that what every artist wants?”

“Sure. In a way. This album means what it means to me. I can’t control what it means to anyone else. It’s nice that it’s been so well received. I’m touched that people are finding their own meanings in the songs.”

“So you’re saying that the song, the first single, ‘Onward,’ isn’t symbolic of the woman’s place in today’s society.”

“I think Hemingway said something about the foolishness of trying to include symbols in your work on purpose,” Jane says.

“So no.”

“‘Onward’ is a song about my ex-husband moving out of our apartment and me, a woman, having to make sense of what he, a man, had left behind. If that is perceived as anything other than that—”

“I understood it as a break-up song,” Lady Host says.

“But things can be perceived by any number of people in any number of ways. That’s the great thing about art. Let me ask you guys a question. Since you brought him up, what does ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ mean to you? What’s that song about?”

“Making trouble,” Thin Host says.

“Cheerleaders,” Fat Host says.

“Disaffected youth,” Lady Host says.

“All I ever think about when I hear that song is deodorant. That song is a deodorant jingle to me. Because when that song came out, I was eleven years old and Teen Spirit was the brand of deodorant I used.”

“Commerce,” Fat Host says. “Cobain is rolling over in his grave.”

“Nah,” Jane says. “He knew damn well what he was doing when he titled that song. He was being funny—Oh crap, can I say the ‘D’ word?”

The hosts laugh. “Yes, ‘damn’ is allowed. ‘Crap,’ is not,” Thin Host says. They laugh some more then he presses on. “Symbols or not, this album is incredible.”

“Thank you.”

“I doubt that you’d call it a concept album.”

“Not in the traditional meaning of concept album, no. I mean, it’s not The Wall. But it was conceived by specific events. There’s a theme.”

“It’s a break up album,” Lady Host says.

“It is indeed a break up album. A break up and all of the, um, crap, that comes with it.”

She knows she sounds like a pedantic blowhard. They are baiting her into it and she is too strung out on exhaustion and weak coffee to resist. She wonders why they are waxing intellectual about Kurt Cobain and the meaning of “Smells Like Teen Spirit?” She just wants to plug tonight’s show, play a few songs, maybe answer a call and give vague, recycled answers about what inspired her to write the album. Instead, she’s bemoaning about the trappings of fame and denying any intention of making an album that will last the test of time. How Gen X of her. How Fiona Apple of her. How awful of her.

But after two weeks of horrendous heartbreak, isolation, and alcoholism, Jane had come to one conclusion: right or not, fuck Keith.

She is saved from falling deeper into these asinine rock critic musings when the hosts go to break again. They’ve cued listeners to call in with questions and requests. The first three callers request “Onward,” to no one’s surprise. Jane pulls her guitar from its case and gives it a gentle tuning. She gets the familiar sinking knot in her stomach as she does.

Her departure from acoustic folk to electric rock was the best way for her to get through the pain of her divorce. It allowed her to turn the deafening sadness into rollicking anger. And every time she plays these songs with an electric guitar and her banging, thrumming, clanging tour band alongside her, she becomes more and more removed from the origin of the source material. She’s healed each night. And in quieter moments in between cities on the bus, when she finds herself descending toward that sadness and regret, she can listen to the album at top volume through her headphones and relive the anger and gravitate toward getting over the goddamn thing.

But there’s no escaping the raw bones of truth when she plays the songs acoustically on radio shows like this. She wanted to bring the band with her and at least have a bigger sound so the songs weren’t so stripped down and she didn’t feel so naked. But her management vetoed it. The fans wanted Jane Hadley naked. And that’s what they were getting. And every time she tunes the guitar to play “Onward,” she is rocketed into a wretched reverie of when she first tuned the guitar to write the song.

Keith had just closed the door of the apartment with his last box of stuff under his arm. It had been the first time they’d seen each other since he asked for a divorce two weeks before and fled to wherever he had been staying. Jane spent those two weeks crying, substituting alcohol and cigarettes for meals, sleeping on the living room floor because she couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping alone in their bed and didn’t feel that she deserved the comfort of the couch. She was emotionally destroyed and she thought it best to destroy herself physically, too.

He said some pretty nasty things when he left. There were accusations of infidelity because she played songs that weren’t about him. He blamed her for his inability to secure a steady and well-paying gig because she was not supportive enough. He called her a manipulator and a user and chastised her for having more friends than he had.

None of these accusations were true and he was clearly taking his own self-loathing out on her. How could someone’s likability make her unlikable? Keith had found a way. The two therapists they had seen every week since getting married eight months before, called it projecting. Keith denied it and Jane believed everything he said.

But after two weeks of horrendous heartbreak, isolation, and alcoholism, Jane had come to one conclusion: right or not, fuck Keith. Watching him leave with a box of his mother’s old stained Tupperware was enough to pull her off of the floor and begin writing music again. “Onward” became Jane’s life’s statement of purpose. And as the first single and the album’s first track, it became the album’s statement of purpose, too. And thus, it became a generation of women’s statement of purpose.

She didn’t even have to write the lyrics down and work them out in her notebook like usual. She just played and sang and it all came together. She scribbled it down once she was done and the song, at first, resembled every other song she had written. Soft, slow, melancholy. She didn’t want that. She wanted something different. Because the same old song hadn’t done her much good for her career or her internal struggle. She didn’t feel soft, slow or melancholy. She felt hard, fast and fucking pissed. She dusted off her electric Gibson and amp and played the song faster and louder. She felt alive again. She felt angry. She felt inspired.

She lit a cigarette and played it again. She recorded it and upon listening back, she heard a voice she didn’t recognize but loved. The chorus made her smile, even though it felt strange on her face.

You took my love And let it burn Scorched and ashen I move onward

✶

SHE MET KEITH LESTINGHOUSE AT A SHOW IN PEORIA, ILLINOIS. He was a videographer and had been hired to document the headlining band, the Dandelions, who a year later would win the Grammy Award for Best New Artist. Keith’s art direction in the documentary was lauded for its grit, the way it “captured the essence of budding rock ’n’ roll success,” according to some well-respected blogger somewhere online.

She found Keith smart and funny, and thought his patchy beard and thin, lanky body made him handsome. He seemed to genuinely like Jane’s music and her band. And he seemed to like her. By the end of their first date, they realized that they had been a match on each other’s online dating profiles.

“Why didn’t you ever send me a message?” she asked him.

“Why didn’t you ever send me one?” he replied.

He was a feminist and she liked that about him, too.

Six months in, they were engaged. Two months after that, they were married. It was a small ceremony held in her parents’ barn at their farm in Dowagiac, Michigan. She wore cowboy boots with her consignment wedding dress, he wore black Chuck Taylor sneakers with his new suit from an online custom clothier. An hour before the wedding, Jane cried all of her makeup away when Keith requested that her father not walk her down the aisle. Well, he didn’t have any family at the wedding, therefore, her father’s obvious presence was her way of rubbing it in that he was an estranged son. Jane conceded. Then Keith decided that it was okay for her dad to walk her down the aisle after all. This was the first crack in the façade of perfection Jane had placed Keith behind. Then, at the reception, Jane and the Jaded Cowboys played a song she wrote just for Keith, just for their wedding. Drunk, he mistook it for a song about some other guy and stormed off into the Dowagiac fields. Jane—the consummate professional—finished the song then ran into the fields after her husband. When she found him, he continued accusing her of infidelity until she managed to convince him otherwise and they screwed right there in rows of soybeans.

He moved into her place. His video equipment crowded and nearly ousted her music equipment. Space in the small Chicago apartment was the crux of their Cold War—Keith acting like Reagan with his finger constantly on he Button and Jane acting as Gorbachev, desperate for some kind of peaceful and reasonable resolution.

Two weeks later, they were in therapy. The only discussion they could have without Keith’s demanding a therapist’s intervention was about what they’d have for dinner. It helped that Keith’s veganism limited their dining options. Keith was a volunteer for Greenpeace and convinced Jane to sell her 1967 Pontiac GTO. It was left to her in her grandfather’s will. It was her grandfather who taught her to play guitar and encouraged her to pursue a career in music. He was a sound tech for bands like the Byrds, Leslie Gore, the Lovin’ Spoonful and even the Beatles once. Anywhere she had to be, Keith told her, she could ride a bike, walk, run or use public transportation, if she must. And that inspired the second song on the album, “Red Meat Wishes and Gasoline Car Dreams.”

You’re sidewalk stalking Good people on God’s green earth I honk and rev my motor And slide back a Quarter Pounder

Still, Jane loved him. But what Jane loved more than Keith was love itself. Though she was never far from her friends or family and had an incredible bond and unwavering trust with her bandmates, Jane feared being alone. Alone in that romantic sense. It was that fear that empowered her to stay with Keith, which left her otherwise powerless. And that’s where “Distracted by Loneliness,” the album’s third song, came from.

Covered in hearts Well wishes from friends and family Their undying love can’t compare to the misery you give to me I’d rather be lonely with you than never alone again

✶

WHEN THEY RETURN FROM THE BREAK, JANE PLAYS “ONWARD.” Fat Host cues up another recorded caller and the conversation they had with her during the break.

“Hi, Jane. I’m Claire. I think you are so talented.”

“Hi, Claire. Thank you.”

“I just broke up with my boyfriend of three years.”

“This ought to be good,” Fat Host says.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Claire,” Jane says.

“No, please, it’s for the best. I was miserable. We both were. Your album inspired me to leave him. Funny thing was, it was his record. He bought the album.”

“Men love her, too,” Thin Host says. “Is there a song you’d like Jane Hadley to play?”

“I’d love to hear ‘Two Week’s Notice,’” says Claire. “I quit my job last week, too. This song inspired me to do that.”

“This song isn’t about quitting a job,” Jane says. “It’s about the abortion I had.” The studio goes quiet—never a good thing in radio. Jane recognizes the silence and quickly readjusts her response. “But, uh, sure thing, Claire. Let me know if you need a reference or anything.”

The recording ends and Lady Host throws her finger at Jane like a stage manager would on the set of a live news show. Jane plays the first chord and sings “Two Week’s Notice.”

It’s not something I am ready for I’m sure neither are you I’ve already got a child I can’t raise two It makes no sense to drag this out It’s the right thing to do I’ve already got a child That child is you

“I’m not really sure how that song would inspire someone to quit their job,” Thin Host says when Jane is done playing. “I bet you get a lot of that. You know, people mistaking the intentions of your songs for something else.”

“Like we were saying earlier, that’s what happens with music and art,” Jane says. “People listen to music in different ways. Claire, I guess, doesn’t listen to the lyrics all that closely. And that’s fine. I just hope she find a new job soon and lands on her feet.”

“Guess you can’t judge a song by its title,” Fat Host says.

“We’re going to take another quick break and we’ll be right back with more music by request from our in-studio guest Jane Hadley, who is performing at Decker Hall tonight and we’ll be giving away that pair of tickets to see her. You��re listening to the Manic Morning Show on 97.1 K–WOW.”

There it is, the missing piece to Jane and Keith’s old fight, his calm condescension. Finding herself in familiar territory, she habitually lights a cigarette in her mouth.

They never take calls live on-air. It’s a recipe for disaster. You could get a Baba Booey or a suicide or someone who just wants to yell “Fuck” on the radio. Answering calls off-air lets the hosts screen and edit the calls for the best possible radio. Fat Host takes the next caller.

“Hi, Jane. Since you’re single, maybe we can hook up after your show tonight. I’m hung.”

Fat Host immediately hangs up on the caller.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Jane says. “Maybe he was cute.”

She’s joking but only a little bit. Among the whiskey and cigarettes, her after-show parties have been filled with men. Lots of men. At least one every night. The show in L.A. had two, the one in Salt Lake had three.

Two more calls, both women, both requesting “Onward.” The third call is a man.

“97.1, Manic Morning Show,” Lady Host says.

“Jane?” the caller asks like he was calling Jane directly and not a San Francisco morning radio show.

“Hi, do you have a request for Jane Hadley?” Lady Host tries again.

“Jane. Are you there?”

“Okay, weirdo, goodbye,” Lady Host says as she signals Fat Host to drop the call.

“Wait,” Jane says. Lady Host looks at Thin Host who nods as a sign to let Jane play this one out. “Keith?”

The three hosts look at each other with confusion before Thin Host chimes in, “Jane, you’ve got a friend here in San Francisco. And a K-WOW listener to boot!”

“Keith is my ex-husband.” The three hosts drop their jaws and sit back in their chairs like they’re ready to watch the unbelievable, certain shit show commence. “Keith, what are you doing?”

“I was listening to the radio and heard you.”

“What are you doing in San Francisco?”

“I’m living with my brother.”

“You have a brother?”

“I have three brothers.”

“Three!? Why didn’t you ever say anything? Why weren’t they at the wedding?”

“My family is complicated.”

Jane is stunned. She, too, is now sitting with her mouth agape in disbelief. “So you’re living here now?”

“For the moment. There was a job, so…”

“What’s the job?”

“It’s a documentary about San Francisco suicides that don’t take place on the Golden Gate. There’s a large population of suicidals that is overlooked because of the attention that the Bridge gets. It’s tragic. And these people aren’t even polluting the bay when they kill themselves. It’s an important topic.”

Thin Host jumps in again. “So, Keith—Keith, right?—would you like to hear a song by Jane Hadley?” Jane shoots Thin Host a look that says, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Let’s hear that one about abortion again.”

Jane cringes. She is no longer stunned, now she’s pissed. Of course she never told him about the pregnancy. By their third date, it was clear that he had baby fever. Because Keith had such a foul and complicated relationship with his own family, he was desperate to build a new one. And though Jane wasn’t opposed to being a parent someday, she was in no immediate rush, but also knew, deep in her gut, that Keith would make a terrible father. That having a child would provide him with another person to manipulate and break down until nothing was left but a desiccated husk of a human. He would do to his child what his parents did to him and what he had nearly done to Jane.

Jane and the hosts are frozen but the digital phone recorder rolls along.

“Can I hear it? Can I hear the song about you killing my child?”

“Whoa!” Thin Host says as Fat Host laughs in shock.

“She didn’t kill your child,” Lady Host says. “She’s the mother and she has the right to make any decision she wants related to her body.”

“I agree,” Keith says. “But in the interest of true sexual and gender fairness and whatever, doesn’t the father have a right to know and at least be part of the discussion? When were you pregnant, Jane? Were we married? Because if so, then you absolutely owed me that.”

Lady Host defends her. “She doesn’t owe you anything.”

“No, he’s right,” Jane says. “I probably should have said something. I agonized over telling you about it for two weeks before.”

“Oh, you agonized, did you? That was my child.”

She can hear his special brand of angry panic in his voice. She knows she should have the deejays hang up. But that anger and panic of his was always delicious bait to her. She can’t help herself from engaging. “It wasn’t a child, Keith. And if it had been, it would have been ours. And that, that right there is why I didn’t tell you. I mean, I knew I couldn’t keep it because of your selfishness and controlling impulses. I would have had the abortion twenty minutes after I peed on the stick but I held off, debating if you should be there with me. But I knew that you’d never agree to it and that the idea of it would only lead to this.”

“And what’s this?”

“You accusing me of killing your child.”

Thin Host speaks up. “So Keith, what do you think about the rest of the album?”

“I didn’t know she could play electric guitar.”

There it is, the missing piece to Jane and Keith’s old fight, his calm condescension. Finding herself in familiar territory, she habitually lights a cigarette in her mouth.

“Uh, Jane, you can’t smoke that in here,” Fat Host says.

She exhales a large cloud of smoke emphasizing it with two small rings at the end. “I’ll make you a deal,” she says, “you promise not to air this and I’ll put it out.”

“It’s just that, well, it’s a federal regulation that you can’t smoke inside of buildings. It’s nothing personal. Hell, we all smoke,” Fat Host says.

“Promise me.”

Fat Host looks at Lady Host and Thin Host. Thin Host nods and fat Host says, “Promise.” Jane snuffs the cigarette out on the bottom of her boot. She walks to the small trashcan across the studio, drops the cigarette in and pours a few ounces of coffee on it for safety. She returns back to her microphone and puts her headphones back on.

“What do you want, Keith?” she asks.

Silence.

“Keith? Are you still with us, Keith?” Thin Host asks.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“What is it you want, Keith?” Thin Host asks again as if Jane’s voice was the problem the first time.

“I want you back,” Keith says.

Jane bursts out in laughter. “Are you fucking kidding me!?” The hosts are shocked. “Sorry,” she says to them.

“It’s okay, we’re not live,” Lady Host says. She leans over to Fat Host and whispers, “Bleep it out.”

“Duh,” Fat Host whispers back.

“I’ve missed you and I have a new therapist out here who says that I’m ready to be in a relationship with you again.”

“Then sue your therapist for malpractice,” Jane says, “because he’s a fucking quack.”

Fat Host holds up his arm to grab attention and says, “We are coming out of break.” He turns on his microphone, does a quick station I.D. and lets the audience know that Jane Hadley is in the studio and that they’ll be back with more from her, then plays music. As he finishes and the red ON-AIR light outside of the studio door turns off, Gavin, Jane’s tour manager storms in.

“I think we’re done here,” he says. Everyone ignores him. This is something he’s used to so he shrinks back out of the studio.

“Jane, I—”

“Shut up, Keith. It’s not happening. But I’ll put your name on the will call list at the door tonight if you want to come see the show.” She looks at Fat Host. “Hang up on him.”

Fat Host again looks around at his co-hosts for a confirmation. They both deny her request. Jane sees this and as Keith begins pleading to her in a breathy panic, she stands up, throws her headphones on the console, walks around to the control board where Fat Host is sitting and rummages around with her eyes for the phone. “Hang up. Where is it? Hang up on him. There’s nothing more to say.” Fat Host uses his bulk to keep her away. “Okay then, I guess you don’t want those backstage tickets to my sold out show tonight for your listeners. I guess you’d rather fuck with me than keep a promise to your listeners. Fine then.”

She walks back around to her guitar and coffee, puts the guitar in its case, throws the nearly empty coffee cup into the trashcan. She lights another cigarette before storming out of the studio, the station, and into the parking lot where Gavin is waiting.

“I need a drink,” she says.

It’s barely past six-thirty in the morning so Gavin suggests hotel room service. Jane agrees. She admits that after a few mini bottles of Dewar’s and Tanqueray she’ll be ready for a nap.

✶

IN THE HOTEL ROOM, GAVIN SLEEPS IN THE DESK CHAIR WITH HIS FEET PROPPED UP ON THE DESK, a small bottle of gin delicately rests in his curved fingers of his dangling arm. It’s eight-thirty and Jane lays drunk in bed. She’s tuned the nightstand clock radio to 97.1 FM, K–WOW. The idiots are playing the phone call with Keith. They’ve bleeped out her cursing. They’ve edited it to make her seem more erratic than she thought she had been. She’s pissed about it but she knows that this is only going to help her reputation and lead to more album and concert ticket sales.

She fumbles for her phone and calls Keith. After recording Hell in a Handbasket, Jane set out to remove any traces of him from her life. She built a fire in the alley behind her apartment next to the dumpster burning anything associated with their time together. Photos, a pair of his socks she loved to sleep in, the Dandelions t-shirt she bought at the show the night they met, that stupid crystal duck he gave to her on their first Christmas together. She never understood the significance of it. He was so excited to give it to her, so proud of himself that she never bothered to ask him why he thought she might like it. Of course, the crystal duck didn’t burn, so Jane smashed it to pieces with a hammer. The one thing she didn’t do during her Keith purge was delete his contact information from her phone. He answered her call before the first ring finished.

“Come to the show tonight,” she says to him.

“Do you want to get back together?”

“No. But I want to see you. Actually, if you can, come to my hotel right now. I’ll text you the address.”

She hangs up before he can respond and sends the text. She knows she has made a destructive decision and that there is no way any of this will end well. But that’s not what Jane wants. Keith has reopened her wounds as easily as if they’d never healed at all. Jane wants to bask in the familiarity of the disrespect and jealousy and anger that defined their relationship. One more chug of the poison, she tells herself, then she’ll be done. She’ll even delete him from her phone.

Keith texts back that he’s on his way. Jane wakes Gavin up and kicks him out of her room.

“You called Keith, didn’t you?” Gavin asks.

“I’ll see you later,” she says, closing the door in his face.

She picks up her guitar and writes a new song. It comes to her as easily as “Onward” did. Maybe even easier. She realizes that Keith is her muse. The thought of that is a good reason to open another mini bottle of whiskey. Maybe she won’t delete him from her phone. Just in case her creativity ever runs dry.

This is not the type of musician or person she thought she’d be but it’s the one the music industry needs, the one her generation needs—whatever generation that is. And certainly, it is the one she needs to be in order to remain being anything at all.

#Chicago Fiction #David Himmel Fiction #Rock Music Fiction

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