#tcioa asks

[thebashfulpoet]

I've just noticed how there are some extremely gifted writers in The 100 fandom and I wish I could give all of you hugs and send you cookies or something. You guys allow us to explore the characters in different ways and in different scenarios, it blows my mind. I also feel that fics help bring the fandom together as they make our love (maybe obsession haha) for these characters and this show grow even more. I hope this message isn't weird, I just really felt like I needed to say this 😊

Hi, just writing to tell you that I LOVE TCIOA sooooo much. This isn’t a message telling you to update, because I know life gets in the way sometimes, but I just wanted to let you know that I love all of your work so much and I know it takes a lot to write something and then put it on the internet for others to read, but thanks for doing so. You are SO talented and I just reread the parts of TCIOA already published and felt that I really needed to tell you how phenomenal of a writer you are 💜

Okay first off I want to say thank you so much for this wonderful and long (but in a great way!) message because it absolutely means the world to me to hear from you guys, whether it’s just asking for an update or a simple kudos. Honestly I think people don’t really understand what it means to get feedback in any form and this message was in no way weird!

I’m working so hard to finish this upcoming chapter for you guys, but there is a lot of emotional turmoil going on as well as tying up some of the looser ends and I really don’t want to rush through any of that. That being said, I will try to post a preview at the end of this week to give you guys a glimpse of what’s going on with our favorite angst-ridden heroine 

[thebashfulpoet]

Hi! TCIOA is my absolute favorite fic and I was just stopping by to see if there was an update on the next chapter? I totally get life being hectic, so I understand why it's been a while but I'm just so excited to see what happens next! Thank you for putting so much time into making it perfect!

Life is calming down right now (thank god for summer!) I have been writing during my lunches at work, so I’m slowly working through the chapter! I think I have about 1.2k words typed and at least another thousand handwritten (and I’m not even close to being done).

I’d post a preview, but I don’t have anything written that feels quite ready yet, so sorry!

As always, thank you so much for reading and I’m super happy you love this story as much as I do!

[thebashfulpoet]

24 and/or 25 :) (btw tcioa is amazing as always)

First of all, thank you very much! 

24.Favorite scene you’ve ever written

By far my favorite scene to write was the dancing scene in Ch 11 of TCIOA. I’m talking both of the dancing scenes btw. The first one was just so silly and fun while the other dripped with sexual tension that was so much fun to play with (btw if you want an enhanced experience, listen to Sia- Alive during that second part)

25.Favorite line you’ve ever written

My Beta @lirinchi hates me for this line, but I just LOVE it so much! It’s the “Fitting.” at the end of Ch 12. It was just so angsty and perfectly summed up what Clarke was feeling in such a simple way, that I don’t think I could have ended that chapter in a better way.

[Want to ask me one?]

[thebashfulpoet]

Hi! I just wanted to stop by and say that you are such a fantastic writer! Tcioa was one of the first fics that I read and got me into fanfiction in the first place! All your characters and dialogs are so well thought out and excuted, I'd wait forever to have an update from you! I hope you had a fantastic 21st birthday 🎉

Aw! Thank you so much for both the birthday wishes and for liking my fic! I’m finally back home from my mini vacation (vegas is a wild ride kids) and I plan to finish Cracks, edit the chapter, and have my beta comb through the second half within the next couple of days! So update soon, I promise!

[thebashfulpoet]

Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @writingpuddle​ I’m supposed to be writing an essay (that’s due tomorrow) but haha who needs to pass a class when I can answer questions? (Jk I’ll get my essay done I promise guys)

Author Name:

TheBashfulPoet

Fandoms You Write For:

AFTG and maybe I could be persuaded into writing for The 100 again, but I feel like I’ve been out of the loop too long now.

Where You Post:

Exclusively on Ao3 now

Most Popular Oneshot:

The Drumbeat in Your Chest which was actually my first AFTG work. Idk how I still feel about it but I’ll always be grateful that I wrote it and got into this fandom :)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:

The Cracks in Our Armor, an admittedly terrible Bellarke fic that I wrote through most of college. Some parts make me cringe while others I still think about. Something Nothing & Everything is second (and just better written imo)

Favorite Story You Wrote:

Definitely SN&E. It was the most challenging and yet the most fun. But I think it may get overthrown by my latest story which I just love.

Story You Were Nervous to Post:

Going to agree with @writingpuddle​ here. Literally. Every. Single. One. 

How Do You Pick Your Titles:

Ha. Song titles/lyrics like 99% of the time. Other times I play around with phrases and find something I like (re: SN&E, L&F, TCIOA)

Do You Outline:

Yes. It’s integral to my process. I may not stick to it or even look at it at points but it’s my first draft of any work/chapters I do. It lets me worry less about where I want to go and focus on how I’m getting there. 

How Many of Your Stories are Complete:

All but one really. I tend to work on one story at a time. Well, that’s if you’re counting published pieces. I have two or three WIPs that haven’t made it to the type stage yet.

In-Progress:

Lost & Found (in the hues of moonlight)

Coming Soon:

Nerik smut fic for @idnis​ (actual priority)

SN&E Oneshot focusing on a cut scene with Neil & Kevin

Next chapter of L&F

Do You Accept Prompts:

Yes. Always. I like to take breaks from what I have to work on and just play with new ideas. If I can’t write a whole fic I may just do a scene or bullet points b/c it’s fun and I enjoy it.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For:

Can I second, Much Ado? Because now I’m hyped. But also literally anything by the people I follow. I love seeing what everyone creates!

Tag Five Fanfic Authors to Answer These Questions

@idnis @marauders-groupie

[thebashfulpoet]

On the ending of TCIOA

So the wonderful and lovely @notplatonicblarke left me this ginormous comment about the end of The Cracks in Our Armor that literally made my night (and quite possibly gave me an excuse to step away from hw for the time being). I would like to preface this all by saying that in no way shape or form was I offended or put off by her criticism and in fact, thoroughly enjoyed her thoughts and opinions on the ending of my beloved fic.

That being said, I would love to address some of her outstanding views on the ending and take the time to explain why I made certain decisions and left it as open as I did.

1. Bellamy and Clarke’s final fight & closure

So this is one of the scenes that had been in my mind from the very early stages of the fic and probably one of the few that went under many different transformations as not only the story developed but Bellamy and Clarke themselves. All funny moment and quips aside that happened during that fight, it serves two main purposes: revealing a lot of the underlying issues preventing Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship from progressing any further and testing the limits of Clarke’s self-imposed isolation. By the time Bellamy has driven up to New York, he has already forgiven Clarke. Unfortunately, due to the fact that this story is purely told from Clarke’s perspective that does not come off as clearly as I would want it to, especially with her tendency to manipulate things into the worst possible outcome. (Fun fact: I’m currently writing a companion fic told from Bellamy’s perspective over the last 4 or so chapters that will shed a little more light on the other half of our favorite dynamic) 

Originally when I had written this final fight between Clarke and Bellamy it ended in another sex scene, one that parallels the one first sex scene but differs in that the lust is turned into tenderness and Clarke finally stops pushing them to be something they are not. The next morning then would have been this overly serious conversation in which a lot of same things get revealed (namely Bellamy getting his fears off his chest) and Clarke would have made a final stand on her beliefs.  What changed is that by this point I feel that Clarke has already made her stance on how she felt about leaving very clear in chapter 15. She does not regret her decision to leave. What she hates is how it hurt Bellamy and that is reflected in their final conversation in the morning after their fight.

To me, there is no need for a final moment of “I forgive you” because they have already forgiven each other by simply being there and letting the other in finally. In this moment there are no more secrets and unsaid feeling between them, giving them the ground to finally move forward in their relationship.

2. The shift in the story

Okay so as many of you noticed, there is this huge shift in the story after the New Years party and the death of Finn. Even writing it, I could tell that the story had undergone a new tone, a really dark one that rivaled the relative silly and joyful one that had been building up to that point and honestly I struggle with thinking that it was too much or not a smooth enough transition, but in the end I stuck with it for two reason. 

The first is that ultimately this fic reflects the show (something many of you brilliant people have pointed out) and the character dips and struggles they face without the pressing need of an apocalypse to make them quickly deal with these feelings or bury them deep down and forget about them (something I tend to gripe about with the show). This fic takes those same feeling and transforms them into a modern setting which forces each of these characters to deal with the messy feelings. And yes, it is not always pretty. This spiral that Clarke goes on is meant to reflect her struggle to understand and accept the tragedies that have occurred throughout her life and deal with in a healthy manner.

This brings me to my second reason why I keep this shift. As cute and great as it is the Clarke is beginning to open up to Bellamy, she is still largely running away from her issues. She’s run away from Finn much like she did her mother and Wells death and hides out in the cabin with the Blakes. And while I do think that if she had stayed and Finn did not die, she would have eventually begun to open up more to the point where Bellamy could have helped her face these issues head-on, it would have taken Clarke a lot longer to reach that point whereas breaking down and having that moment with Murphy outside of the bar gives her the incentive and motivation to finally stop running. Clarke had to reach the bottom before she accepted that what she was doing wasn’t working and as the story follows her, we get to see that revelation happen in real time.

3. The open ending &  the unresolved issues with Octavia/Lincoln & Jasper/Monty

I would like to start this by saying that while this story is a Bellarke fic, ultimately the story is about Clarke’s recovery from her own deteriorating mental state and consequentially the role her relationship with Bellamy plays into that recovery. By the end of this story Clarke’s journey is not done, as the road to mental health recovery is often long, though she is beginning to make very large steps in moving towards the right direction. It is why I chose instead to have this confrontation with Raven rather than her friends back home or even Octavia. To the story, they are less significant (I’m so sorry my babies I love you, I swear) than Raven’s entire encounter in chapter 12. While short, Raven leaves a lasting mental effect that influences a majority of Clarke’s decisions after Finn’s death. It cements this mentality that she is toxic to those around them and being able to finally clear that misconception with Raven at the end and getting to move on is so important to the story I was trying to tell.

Then the question becomes what of the other characters? How do they feel and react to all of this? That is entirely up to your imagination. And I know this is a cop-out answer but every time I went to write some sort of an expositional piece about these characters (namely Octavia and Clarke) I was never satisfied. In part because I feel like for them to have a satisfying resolution it would require an entire scene in itself and like I said earlier that’s not necessarily the story I’m telling. So yes, I left it open to your imagination though I did try to give some hint as to how each of these characters feel towards Clarke (Monty/Jasper take it pretty easy as seen through their constant texts most of which were senseless banter in my mind; Miller is just done with both of the idiots washing his hands of it all). Also life so rarely ties up in a pretty bow. 

I say this all not because I am trying to convince you of my view of things (you all are readers and are entitled to your own opinions and interpretations regardless of how I intended for it to turn out) but because I love to talk about this story as much as you all do. In the words of my favorite person in the world @stillgetmyheartracing  Authorial intention ain’t shit. I honestly just love to share my thoughts and experiences that had gone into writing this fic that we both love and enjoy. And yes, it is not perfect but far from it. I’m still going through it today and fixing plot holes and weird lines that are overly done and complicated when they don’t need to be. This story is still evolving and that’s okay.  I appreciate anyone who reads this story and has any opinions on it (even if it conflicts with what I have written). And just know that I will take them all into consideration as I make the final edits.

[thebashfulpoet]

When will the next tcioa chapter be up? (:

Soon :)