#tbh well written people with trauma is probably a much needed representational area for a lot of minority identities

[ziracona]

Something I think it’s worth the mention when it comes to writing ace characters (aside from the obvious ‘listen to ace ppl/look up q&as/learn from the source’ and ‘it’s a spectrum & the experiences are not all universal’), is that I don’t think people get how valuable variety is to us. We’re pretty rarely represented, so we tend to be happy we get anything at all, but so much of the time if we get an ace character, they’re kind of mousy and reclusive or naïve and young or inexperienced, fragile, isolated. And that’s not like, a de facto bad character type for an ace person or something, but it’s definitely not representative of us as a whole, and so it really shouldn’t be the only kind we get. So please, consider adding more types of people to those hc’s and wips.

There’s no wrong answer here, or trick. The scary jock girl ready to throw hands, the super romantic ray of sunshine, the sarcastic aloof asshole guy, the stoned nb literature nerd, the wise old woman, the fun uncle; they all work; there’s not a type. It’s a sexuality, not a personality type or a trait. And while this one is not a character type, just an experience, when it comes to ace representation period, one of the areas I think it’s especially important to include ace characters specifically is people who have experienced sexual violence. —Not as the sole ace, not saying that every character who has should be, none of that— but. For ace people? Regardless of our actual past and the presence of that or complete lack of it there, do you know how often people assume if we are asexual it must be a trauma response to abuse, probably in our childhood? Constantly. Repeatedly. Thoughtlessly, and invasively. It’s one of the most hurtful, damaging, and personal things I expect nearly every ace has heard. Which is why it’s extremely important to have ace characters who have experienced sexual violence. Not characters who are ace because of that, just ones who are. Because as annoying as it is for the rest of us, it’s fucking hell to get invalidated 24/7 because of past trauma by people who act like they think they’re simultaneously helping you and beating you. Aces who have experienced sexual trauma exist, and are not any less valid than the rest of the group, or ‘fake,’ or ‘messed up,’ or ‘only sex-negative because.’ The harassment gets to a point a lot of ace people won’t even be willing to admit to any trauma in their past to their friends even because the almost certain assumption is there that the second you do, people will treat you as if that automatically invalidates your sexuality. People get treated constantly if they have experienced sexual violence in their past as if that means they cannot be ace, and just think they are because someone hurt them. And that’s fucked up. They’re ace. They are. You don’t know shit about them, and they’re as valid as anyone else. There is no proven causality there, no matter how much people act like it. At best, they’re grasping at minor correlation, and being massively entitled and arrogant dicks about something they know nothing about. People who are asexual and have a history involving sexual violence are still ace. Being a lesbian who was raped by a man once doesn’t make you a reactive faker and not a lesbian. A dude who has sexual trauma caused by man before realizing they’re gay doesn’t mean the trauma ‘turned you gay.’ Being body shamed horribly or experiencing sexual trauma before realizing you are trans doesn’t make you a fake trans person. And it’s the same for aces. They’re just asexual, like any other asexual. You don’t know shit about them; they don’t owe you shit, and you should stop being horrible to them all the time over stuff you cannot know what you’re talking about in.

Which is why it’s really important to have some ace characters who have been victims of sexual violence. There’s little enough representation and solidarity and voices saying “you matter, you’re real, you’re not just broken, you’re not wrong” as it is. And they deserve representation and validation as much as the rest of us. They probably need it more. So please, if you write, consider adding someone who is ace and has gone through something sometime. Not ace because of it. Just. Valid. And gets to be valid and treated like it. It’s important.