#tbh the rainbows were a pain to get right but HEY ITS HE

[ennji-undertale]

Its a crime I havent drawn this kid very much.

Asriel for undertale september?

[theshy1sout]

Inseparable - Chapter 12

Tags: Broppy, Not rated, Trolls Mythology Au, Slow Burn Fluff

Ao3 here

Notes: This chapter... is twice longer than usual. I just didn’t see a reason to cut it in half. That would be cruel tbh

________________________________________

Everything is fine. Isn't it?

Every day and night is the same, as they used to be... Poppy walks on the hill, this very specific hill they used to climb on to pass the Staff along. Then she meets Branch. He asks for one more night or day to finish the thing he works on. And she agrees. He walks away, with the Staff or without it, and Poppy always watches him for so long.

Why.

Why does this feel so bad? Why does it hurt so much? Everything is fine. Poppy didn't lose anything - she still has her wonderful job, amazing friends, and basically everything the Immortal could dream of. Her teamwork with the god of the Night is just... Temporary pendant. Nothing to worry about. Branch is just making some surprise...

The goddess doesn't know how long she has to wait. Two weeks passed, but what is just two weeks for Immortals? Poppy knows it should be nothing... But it feels like forever.

Why. Why she can't just patiently wait? Why the feeling in her heart, so warm and pleasant earlier, now is so heavy and painful. She can't enjoy anything as much as she used to. Her sweet job becomes a boring routine. She realizes she smiles way rarer.

Why?

Poppy feels like a little child with those feelings. So pitiful. She sits every Night under this oak where Branch showed her a shadow. She plays with an oak leaf in her hand, watching lightning bugs flying around the meadow. Or watching the stars above her. They always make her even sadder. No matter how long she sits there, she never sees Branch. She can see him only for a minute on the hill.

And why? Why is this so sad for her? She used to live without him for so long. She doesn't need him to live or be happy, she used to be happy without him too. Didn't she? It's not the end of the world. It's not even forever. It's temporary, isn't it?

And why, why is Branch so into something? What is this? What did the rainbow inspire him to? What is he making? Maybe something with colors... Poppy remembers a spark in his eyes when he stared at the rainbow. He was so amazed by its colors. Yeah, he is making something colorful for sure. Maybe he dreams about colors visible in the Dark. Cause it is known that during the Night colors fade and almost everything is black or grey. Poppy feels her heart getting filled with new hope. Maybe if she makes something with colors that are visible in the Night, she will get a little bit more of Branch's attention? Maybe he would leave his project and come back to her? She imagines his gentle smile on his pretty blue face. His azure eyes meeting hers. She reminds herself of his touch on her cheek. Cold but so tender and affectionate... She misses him so much...

The goddess of the Day stops the thing she is doing and walks toward the Palace. A hope pushes her in this direction. She wants to believe that not in vain.

* * *

- I don't know - Smidge frowns at a flower. - I'm still not sure about the spikes.

- It needs them to protect itself from critters! - Meadow explains.

- Yes, hurting the critters - Milton adds, putting his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. - I'm also not sure about them.

- But the spikes create a good arrangement with its carmine petals - Satin points out, touching the flower carefully.

- Disagree, sister - Chenille crosses her arms on her chest. - It's too edgy for me.

- It's poetic beauty, not so obvious. I'm bored of doing boring things, let me experiment a bit, sis!

- Well, I really like how it looks now - Meadow, the goddess of plants, gets down to the flower. - If we can make spikes less sharp, can we keep them? I want it to be safe, not like other of my mites.

- Let me think a bit about it - Milton grabs his head with both of his hands. He sighs heavily. - But please, later, not now, I'm so tired of thinking about this flower.

- Oh, you - Smidge pats him in his elbow. She is too short to reach any higher. - We do take a break. Let's just change the topic a bit.

- Thank you...

- Hi, guy!

Immortals turn to the pink, bright lady waving to them on the horizon.

- Poppy! - Satin beams at the goddess walking to them. - What perfect timing!

- Why is it so perfect?

- We need to talk about anything else than that flower - Chenille points at the little plant on the ground.

- What is this?

- We want to create a flower with Rose's name - Meadow explains. - Just for sentimental reasons.

Poppy gazes at slender leaves on dark green stem with little spikes. The carmine petals draw around themselves, creating a beautiful red mosaic.

- It's wonderful - She says, but in her voice and her mild smile is hidden a note of gloom.

- Is everything okay? - Smidge asks, looking at her with worry.

The goddess of the Day forces herself to rise the corners of her lips a bit higher.

- I'm fine, everything is fine. Nothing wrong happened, I'm just... a bit tired.

Immortals look at each other. Poppy is known as a very, very, VERY energetic, vivid, and loud person. At least as a person who never gets tired, especially of her job. But no one says anything.

- So, what do you need from us? - Milton asks carefully.

- Well, I need something light and colorful - The pink face brightens a bit. - Something really visible in the darkness. Something like, I don't know, colorful safe flames? - She turns to the twins. - Can you design something like that?

- Let me guess - Chenille clicks her tongue and lifts her eyebrow. - Another 'surprise' for Branch?

- Well...

- Last time we painted with you the whole sky in blue! - Smidge chuckles. - I mean, it is so gorgeous now, white clouds look amazing on it, but damn it, that was a huge thing!

- Yeah, not mentioning the rainbow - Satin adds. - Poppy, isn't that too much?

- What are you talking about, those things are breathtaking! - Meadow protests.

- She means, giving gifts - The tiny, yellow goddess of Honesty crosses her arms, looking at Poppy. - Do you really need those things?

The pink lady stares at them blankly during their talk. She looks up joylessly at the Gold Sphere. “Do they need those ‘surprises’?’’ she asks herself in her mind.

- I don't know - She says, shyly gets her sight down. - But I like it...

- I mean, gifts aren't a bad thing - Smidge corrects herself. - But if the friendship is only giving gifts, so there's gifts, no friendship, am I right?

Poppy doesn't say anything for a long while.

- Hey - The tiny yellow goddess gets close to her. - I just see, you are sad. And I'm asking what's happening? Maybe I'm wrong...

- Actually, you're right - Poppy interrupts her firmly. Then she closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. - I'm sorry, that was too firm... But you're right - She hides her face in her hand. - You are so right...

The awkward Silence falls among them and passes a minute or two.

- So... - Milton tries to ask again. - What happened?

- Nothing - The pink goddess sighs. The wave of helplessness hits her right into her heart. - Absolutely nothing. And I don't understand... Why is it hurt so much...

- What specifically? - Meadow asks shyly.

- This... This nothing... - She gets her head up and looks at her friends with eyes full of tears. - This Silence... Between me and Branch.

- I know it's a really bad question - Chenille frowns. - But why is Branch so important?

- I have no idea! - Poppy speaks a bit too loud. Her lips vibrate, her sight is already blurry. All she knows now is a hint of sadness.

- Okay, okay, calm down - Smidge says softly. - Just tell us what you know, okay? What do you feel?

Poppy sniffs. She wipes her tears from her eyes. Her knees become weak, so she sits down, not caring what the rest thinks about it.

- What I know - She repeats blankly and takes another deep breath. - I know that nothing wrong happened. We created the waterfall to make some kind of infinity rainbow... And then Branch just walked away... He said he works on some big project... Every time I meet him, he begs for a bit more time to finish it... - She clenches her hands on the Staff so tight. - And now... I don't talk with him too much... I mean... At all...

Poppy sniffs once again and wipes another tear from her cheek. Her words are quieter and quieter the more she speaks.

- It's been two... Maybe three weeks. I know it's nothing, so short... And I know it's not forever. He'll have done what he's doing and everything will be as before...

She sighs heavily.

- But that hurts for some reason... I don't know why... I miss walking with him and... And talking and... And just him. I miss him... - She hides her face into her hand once again. - Not sure if he feels the same although...

- Well, that's a weird kind of friendship - Chenille says after a long while of Silence. - I've never heard about friendship that can hurt.

- So the lack of Branch's presence is painful? - Smidge wants to be sure.

- Yeah... - Poppy sniffs, still avoiding eye contact.

- So let me guess, you wanted to make another gift to catch his attention? - Satin asks.

- I guess so...

- So If he comes back to you, you will be happy again?

The pink goddess gets her head up at Milton's questions to look at him humbly. She takes a long, snatchy breath.

- Yes.

- Well then, what happened that he came to you in the first place? - Smidge continues analyzing. - I mean, what did make you talk or something?

Poppy glances at the Staff, reminding the last months.

- I told him what I felt - She says after a while, with a much stronger voice. - About the situation... You know, this whole "greeting" awkward situation I told you a lot.

- You have to tell him what you feel right now about THIS awkward situation! - The goddess of Honesty jumps up with a sudden hit of energy. She throws her little fists in the air. - You have to tell him! You have to fight! - She grabs Poppy's blue dress and yells right into her face. - I don't know what is between you and Branch, but I saw you happy that you were never before and I saw him smiling and laughing and taking part in Sharing like he NEVER was expected to do, and whatever it is YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT, GIRL!

- Okay! Okay! Calm down - Milton grabs Smidge with both his hands and takes her away from Poppy.

- Well, maybe that was too loud - Satin takes a look at the tiny yellow goddess.

- But It was all true - Chenille ends her sister's sentence.

- Yeah - Meadow adds. - I think... Well, I'm not the god of Friendship, but I'm sure it's not like Branch just gives up on your relationship. As Smidge said, it makes him happy too.

Poppy looks at her with hope. Her heart starts to beat warmer at those words.

- Sometimes a friend gets lost in something and needs a friend to get him out - Smidge puts her hand on Poppy's shoulder. She's much calmer now, she gives her friend a really wide smile, making the pink goddess chuckles.

Poppy takes a deep breath and her face brightens with a little, but real and genuine smile.

- Thank you. Thank you all - She looks around at her friends. - I'll do that.

- And we'll design this colorful-light-thing - Chenille announces with a smile.

- Just because we like challenges - Satin chuckles.

- I feel like we should call R and B to that project...

- But first, we have to finish a rose! - Meadow protests.

Milton chuckles at his friends and then glances at Poppy.

- It's almost twilight - He tells her. - Go talk to him

- You know where to find us! - Smidge adds, with a little hit in the pink arm.

The goddess of the Day chuckles slightly and stands up with the Staff of the Light in her hand. She looks at the horizon, fearing the first step. Her heart beats with hope and doubts, but she doesn't let her mind think of "what-if"s. She wants to try what her friends advised her. She wants to try, she wants to fight... She wants Branch back...

* * *

Poppy is standing. Oh yeah. She is standing like she never did before! Standing so hard, standing so firm, standing so desperate. The pure bold beams from her statement. She is standing with a goal, she is standing on the hill, on that specific hill, ready to fight, ready to everything. The bloody sky fades behind her back. Oh, the goddess looks like a warrior, no, like a winner already! And all her strength is almost touchable...

...until it washes over her and soaks into the ground with a very first sight of the black hair of the Night.

Weak. Weak is the word her whole shaking body is screaming at her. You are so weak, Poppy.

Branch arrives at the hill without a word. So naturally for the god of the Silence. He views her face blankly. His blue eyes are painted with tiredness. He... He looks so exhausted. So pure. There's not a slightest shadow of a bad intention in his husky voice:

- Poppy... - He clears his throat, and continues calmly. - I know it's a lot to ask... But can you give me one more night and day?

The goddess feels her heart melt. How could she be firm to him looking like that, asking like that?

But then, she knows, it looks like that every twilight, every dawn, and it will still be like that as long as she agrees. So when the blue hand reaches for the Staff, she sets it back, giving him a firm look.

- No - She announces.

- Poppy, I have to start the Night...

- I don't care - She throws and feels her lips shake already.

Branch looks at her with a real puzzlement.

- You don't care? - He frowns. His voice gets a bit husky again. - What does it even mean?

- I am not giving you the Staff - She emphasizes every word.

- But why?!

- Because - Her lips vibrate. - I don't let you hurt me like this anymore.

Her voice cracks a bit. She swallows slowly, not being able to look at his face anymore. But she started it, and she wants to finish, no matter how this conversation will end.

- Listen, Branch - She keeps her breath and voice calm, but her sight is already blurry. - It's... Almost three weeks until our last talk. I feel avoided, ignored. Forlorn. I know it's nothing for us, Immortals, but... After the whole time we spent together... After... Many things we shared... - And now her voice cracks. - I miss you so much...

She gets her head down, not knowing what she is looking at anymore. She just closes her eyes tight and feels a few tears streaming through her cheek. She hasn't known she is that weak.

- Do you even still feel... the same heart thing... Do you? - She whispers.

- No! I mean, Yes! I mean... Oh my goodness...

A gentle touch on her chin gets her head up. His cold hand gets her hair from her face behind her ear. It cups her face and starts drying her tears with a thumb. With a still blurry vision, Poppy feels her hand lift without her purpose and suddenly it touches something. A fabric. And she feels a light warm. And a heartbeat. Rushing, loud, strong heartbeat, so similar to her. Something cold is pressing her hand to that. She blinks a few times and sees... It lies on Branch's chest. Covered by his big, strong, and gentle hand.

- I do - The god speaks, kinda rushing. - I do. I feel. I still feel the same. Please, don't cry.

His hand constantly rubs her cheek. His thumb carefully wipes her eye from tears. His tired eyes are filled with genuine misery.

- Please, don't cry. Please... I am so stupid. I am such an idiot. I was so into... - He sighs heavily, closing his eyes. - ...this dumb project, I... I miss you so much too...

His despairing blue eyes dive into her. He cups her pink cheeks with both of his hands. They are cold and shaking slightly. Oh, they are so cold. Poppy can stop enjoying them, his big blue hands covering almost her whole face. She sniffs and smiles at him. Her heart is beating fast and warm, and she feels Branch's under her hand too. She gets much more than she was wishing for, and she can't help, can't help but smile widely and warm at his beautiful blue eyes.

- You were an idiot - She announces like the happiest news of the year.

- I know - He starts shaking his head with disappointment for himself. - I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you...

- It's ok - She sighs deeply, still smiling. - I mean, It wasn't ok, but now, now it's ok... Just... - She closes her eyes. - Can we stay like that for a minute? I really need this now... - She says, snuggling her face into one of his hands.

Branch doesn't answer, but she doesn't mind it. As long as she feels his beating heart in his chest and his hands embracing her face. The beatific smile doesn't leave her lips. All the worries wash over her. A great pleasant sigh of relief is everything she can say right now.

- Grab the Staff or I never let you go off my face - Poppy threatens, which doesn't sound grimly with her serene voice. She hears a slight chuckle of Branch, and the sweet cover, almost warm now, leaves her face. He takes the Staff from her hand and she lets go of his shirt.

The goddess gazes at him to meet his eyes, to give him a warm smile. But he doesn't glance at her. His head is down, his face is still full of tiredness and misery.

- Branch?

He closes his eyes tight and twists his face. He hesitates a bit after he heaves a sigh.

- I can't hold the fact that I hurt you... - He rubs his eyebrow slowly and leaves his hand like that, covering his eyes. - That was so dumb... So absurdly idiotic... I was too much into this thing, you know, I felt so... Inspired. And...

Poppy steps close to him. Her little pink hand turns his head to face her. He drops his hand and shows her his weary eyes full of tears.

- I just wanted to deserve such a person like you - Words sneak quietly from his lips. He is gazing at her so miserably, deeply disappointed.

But the goddess smiles at him even wider, her eyes are sparkling with sheer enjoyment.

- I don't need gifts - She puts her other hand on his cheek to cup his whole face. - I already have all I need. Right in my hands.

The god blinks. He laughs aloud and genuinely. A single tear drops from his eyes and streams down his blue cheek until little pink fingers wipe it away. He sniffs.

- I miss you so much - He whispers warmly and gruff, smiling, smiling endlessly, smiling so hard and so dumb at happy, sunny Poppy's face, beaming with honest happiness.

She let go of his face, but not of his eyes. The bags under them make him look a little bit different. She wants to let him rest as quickly as possible after she'll fully enjoy his company.

- Can you show me that thing you were working on? I want to curse it for keeping you away from me.

The god chuckles.

- Whatever you want.

They don't walk so far. The cave, where they arrived, is big and dark, only thanks to the Gold Sphere Poppy can see anything. And there are many, many bags filled with weird, magically sparkling substances.

- Go ahead - Branch encourages, seeing curious in her eyes. - Touch it.

The goddess goes to the nearest bag and sinks her hands into its silver content.

- Silver sand!

- Yep, I call it 'glitter'. Cause it's little and it glows.

Poppy chuckles.

- What is this for?

- You take a bit of it - Branch presents. - And powder somebody's eyelids during sleep. It creates dreams.

- Dreams?

- I mean... You can see your dreams during sleep. You can even feel them as if they are real life.

Poppy looks at the glitter flabbergasted.

- And the sleep will never be boring again...

- Exactly.

- That's so amazing! - She cheers.

- Yeah, but it has two faults - He heaves a sigh. - First, it's disposable. After one use it does nothing. Just glow silverly.

- Does it stay on eyelids?

- No, it falls on the ground. It smooths into the soil actually and masses deep under the ground.

- Is it dangerous or damaging?

- No.

- So why is this a fault?

Branch wrinkles his nose.

- I mean, if trolls find it, they would just play with it! - Poppy suggests.

- Play with it?

- Yeah, look - And with that word she throws a bit of glitter in the air. It sparkles so magically, slowly falling on them. She grins at the god's displeased face, making him chuckle.

- Okay, maybe you're right - He dusts the glitter off his capote. - But disposable still means I would have to make it more and more of it... - He looks away, twisting his mouth. - And that's... That's also the part of its second fault... If I want to use the glitter on trolls, I will have to spend all the Night running through the Land and powdering their eyelids...

Poppy blinks at him and then looks down at the glitter on her hands.

- That's why I was kinda desperate about it - He murmurs tiredly. - I wanted to be able to use it every Night... And still, have time for my main responsibilities... - He swallows and looks into the goddess's eyes. - But the most important was for me... To still have enough time for you.

She melts, smiling warmly at him.

- Oh, Branch...

- I know... It came ironically stupid...

She chuckles gently.

- You could tell me.

- I will do it next time - He carefully dusts the glitter off her nose with his finger. - I promise.

- What if we powder it together? - She asks after a while of thinking.

He frowns and hesitates.

- Then I guess, I will have time for my main responsibilities - He gazes at her. - But still not for you...

- I mean, we'll be spending the whole night actually.

- But rushing with my duties, that's ridiculous...

- Well... - She starts slowly and calmly. - The glitter is a genius invention, and if you want to use it and this is the only way, then that will be enough for me.

Branch blinks tiredly before he turns his sight at the bags full of glitter. He is staring at them for so long, thinking in Silence. Then he starts slowly shaking his head.

- No - He decides firmly. - I'm not choosing anything over you.

Poppy smiles widely, even giggle a bit with joy, feeling her cheeks turn red and her heart gets warm.

Suddenly something flares on the night horizon and both of them turn to see what it is. It walks to them unhurriedly, and soon they recognize Immortal's silhouette. His silver, sparkling skin shines like a diamond in the darkness. He stands in front of them with his hand on his hips and grins at them.

- Hi! - His voice echoes in the cave in a weird, extraterrestrial way. - Who are you, guys?

- Who are you? - Branch asks with clear confusion on his face. He turns to Poppy. - You know him?

- No, but... It's nice to meet you! - The goddess tries to be polite and welcoming to the stranger. - My name is Poppy, I'm the goddess of the Day and Light. The guardian of the Staff of the Light and the Gold Sphere on it. And this is Branch! - She points at the god.

- Yeah, I'm also the guardian of those - He shows the Staff in his hand. - As you can see. I'm the god of the Night, Darkness, and Silence.

- Sounds cool - The silver stranger cheers. - And who am I?

Poppy and Branch look at each other confused.

- You don't know? - The god asks.

- I've just come from this weird black hole at the end of the world.

- Oh, the Chaos - Poppy recognizes.

- Ha! So that hole has a name? - The stranger chuckles, and then frowns. - So you don't know who I am?

- We can give you a name! - She beams. - What about Diamonddd....

- ....Guy? - Branch ends. - Guy Diamond?

- Oh, this is a really good name! - The silver god bucks and poses like a model. - It fits me perfectly.

- Okay, let me guess - The blue god interrupts his rhapsodizing. - You're the god of the Glitter?

Guy freezes at those words.

- I have weird deja vu - He points at the bags. - This is the glitter, am I right?

- Yep - Poppy nods. - You know what is it?

- I feel like I know it more than myself - He sinks his hand into silver sand with amazement. Then after a moment, he grabs one bag and shoulders it. - And I know exactly what to do with it!

- Should I warn you that you will have to create more...

- I can produce glitter much faster than you think! - Guy interrupts Branch. - You can leave me all of this, I take care of it. - He points at the cave filled with bags. - And now, excuse me, I have so many trolls' eyelids to powder! - He yells enthusiastically and walks away with a bag full of glitter. They watch his wandering silver silhouette until he disappears on the horizon. Branch turns to Poppy with his tired eyes and shows her a smile full of relief.

- I kinda start liking Chaos - He jokes, making her chuckle. - So... Now when I'm truly free... What do you want to do?

Poppy looks at his weary face, his weak smile, his half-opened eyelids, and grey bag under his faded blue eyes...

- Come with me. I know exactly what to do - She smiles encouragingly.

The goddess brings him to the meadow where she was spending the last few weeks.

- The oak - He murmurs, looking at the huge tree. He recognizes the place where he showed her a shadow and for the first time he took off his capote in front of someone. It is a place with a beautiful view of the stars and the whole Land around. Many little lightning bugs are flying casually above the grass. He yawns loudly when the wave of tiredness hits him without a warning. - What do you want to do with this oak?

Poppy grabs his arm without a word and pulls him down to sit. He doesn't protest. He needs to sit right now. He slumps against the wide oak's trunk and leans the Staff against his shoulder. Then he notices that little warm hands are still holding his arm, so he turns to her with an asking sight.

- You need to rest - The goddess says calmly and warmly, and her sound voice makes his eyelids heavier somehow. - Take a nap.

- But what about the Night? You can't touch the Staff now...

- I won't - He feels his breath get calmer when she speaks like that. Quietly, warmly, softly. - I'll stay awake. You need sleep, even an hour or two. I'll wake you up, so you’ll be able to do your duties later.

He blinks slowly, staring at her little glowing freckles.

- You have a heart of gold...

- Stop talking, you dork, just sleep!

The god smiles amused. He closes his eyes and slumps his head against the tree. He breathes a deep, glad sigh. But before he falls asleep, he feels a warm touch on his cheek pulling his head down, and soon his chin lands on Poppy's shoulder.

- Are you sure I'm not too heavy for you? - Branch murmurs quietly.

The goddess smiles gazing at his blessed face.

- Your head will fall anyway - She whispers, feeling him briefly purring with a sleepy pleasure on her shoulder, like a big tired cat. - Good night, Branch.

She sees him sighing blissfully. Yes, his head is huge and heavy, but Poppy doesn't care. His arm is cold, as much as his cheek, but it gets warmer under the goddess's touch, which is weirdly satisfying for her. It is so pleasant, although she doesn't dare to touch him more, even if it lures her. She respects him so much, she would never do anything without his awareness and agreement.

But to be honest, now, now is a really huge dose of happiness, of adoring and enjoying their company, their talks, and touch. Her heart is filled with peace, with peaceful happiness.

Oh, she missed him. She missed him so much. It is so, so good to have him back.

____________________________________________

Index

[babiekeiji]

“Because…” he said quietly, looking at his desk, “because people want to remember what it’s like to be young? And in love?” — Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor and Park

All I’ve Ever Wanted

the tsukishima kei addition to A Heart’s A Heavy Burden. masterlist

warnings angst angstt, cursing, hospital setting but very vaguely described, memory loss-ish (does that count as a warning?)

pairing tsukishima kei x reader

a/n eek this seems more like a shitpost tbh haha omg, but please !! enjoy this lik tsukki angst..i kinda touched more on tsukishima’s emotional senses on this one, so if tsukki turns out a lil ooc i’m sorry !! n e ways, enjoy!! ur comments r very much appreciated <3

taglist @miyulovestowrite @hqprotectionsquad @savemesteeb @the-black-birb @alexa360b34st @hqkeiji @bb-noya (send an ask to be added to the taglist!)

— ♥️ —

“If you are the moon, Tsukishima,” you say tenderly, lacing your fingers in the gaps between his, your touch soft, warm, and loving—everything he’s ever needed, really—and Kei thinks his life’s never really going to get more romantic than this, “Then I am the sun.”

“How so?” He whispers as he asks; which is weird, because though nobody else is in the room except the two of you, the moment feels intimate enough that anything loud could ruin it in an instant.

“I’ll always be right behind you,” you say against his lips, closing your eyes and saying before you call them again into a sweet kiss, “That way, you’ll shine the brightest...”

...is what you said years ago.

He still remembers the way you said it; your voice soft and sultry, maybe even tired, eyes halfway closed, naked, with every inch of your body pressed up against his. He remembers what it was like to love and to be loved by you, and he wishes he could hold on to what bittersweet memories he had left of it.

But holding on to them makes him feel like he’s holding on to the stem of a rose; all while the rose stays so beautiful, so red and fresh, his hands are bleeding out through holes by the puncture of its thorns. I can bear it, he thinks, I’ll get through this for us.

There’s only so much pain he can handle before he has to let go.

Kei wishes it won’t ever have to come to that—no, he wants to believe it won’t come to that point. But no matter how tightly you hold on, the rope will burn your palms if you keep slipping.

He’s not stupid—Kei knows that it’s important that he’s by your side, but he’s so, so tired—he’s starting to lose hope for the two of you. He reasons, just to remind himself to be strong, that this is just a rough patch for the both of you, or that this will pass in the blink of an eye. If he could only try harder...help you remember what it was like to be in love, to live happily with his unbearable behavior (that only you seemed to tolerate)...he wants to try harder.

He visits you again today, at the same time as he did yesterday, and the day before.

“Hey,” he says softly as he enters your room, and the sight of you staring at nothing is enough to make his heart shatter into pieces.

You blink and break out of your trance; you straighten your back and smile at him. “Hey,” you greet, and for a minute he’s happy again, “You’re back.”

“Yeah,” he says, closing the door behind him gently as he approaches you. “I’m always back.”

“Were you here yesterday?”

He tries so hard not to cry.

“Yeah...yeah,” tears well up in his eyes as his voice cracks, but Kei keeps his head down so you don’t notice. “I was here. Right beside you.”

“What did we do yesterday?”

“We...” he spaces out for a second, but shakes himself as if he’s getting rid of his dark thoughts, “We were looking at photos of you. Baby pictures.”

You smile weakly, and Kei doesn’t know whether he wants to cry or smile back. “I’m sure we had fun.”

“We did.”

You’re staring again, but this time, right at him. He finds it hard to believe the same eyes that looked at him with so much emotion—be it anger, annoyance, or love—looked at him now with a foreign familiarity, like a word that’s on the tip of your tongue, or a sentence missing one important word. You blink slowly but don’t break eye contact, and even if just a bit, your eyes form crescents at the smile that reaches your cheeks.

He wishes he could see you smiling without being sad.

“I hope to remember, Tsukishima...I’m trying my best.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Even still. I wish I could remember faster...”

“Don’t force yourself to do that.”

Your next words hit him like a train running a hundred miles an hour, “I know you’re tired, Kei.”

He tries not too seem apprehensive; but the way you turn away from him when he freezes tells him he came off otherwise. “I..I’m not tired?” He tries to convince you, but he figures he doesn’t sound so. “I’m not tired of you. I won’t ever be.”

You shake your head and keep your eyes to your fidgeting hands. “You don’t have to keep doing this. It must be so taxing for you to come back and find out I’ve forgotten everything we did the last time you were here.”

“I don’t care if it’s so tiring as long as it’s a little step to helping you remember,” He says. “I love you. You know that.”

“I do.”

He pulls out a picture from his bag, one he had specifically printed just for you, framed in hopes you’ll keep it on your nightstand. It’s a picture of you lying on the snow, cheeks flushed red, snowflakes dotting your eyelashes as you smile. “You remember this?” He asks as he hands you the picture. You hold it in your hands hesitantly, running your thumb over the smooth glass that goes over your face. “We went back to Miyagi. This was our first Christmas together.”

You sniffle. He knows you’re about to cry, so he crawls up next to you on the bed and holds you close, cradling your head between his neck. “I’m sorry,” you choke as you clench the back of his shirt, and he can’t help but shed a few tears as he holds you closer, “I’m sorry I forget—I’m so sorry, Kei.”

It’s at moments like these Kei relives the broken glass shards of life, much like the ones from his broken windshield, that pierce through him even deeper than any knife can go. When he holds you close, he remembers—this is not the same person he used to love.

And the thought in itself is enough to shatter his very being to pieces.

The only person he loved, the only one who could tolerate his constant mood swings, the only only person who he could really love, trust, and adore behind closed doors...gone. Just like that.

Everything he’s ever wanted, everything he’s ever needed, all taken from his clutch at the blink of an eye.

He rubs small circles in between your shoulder blades, in the middle of your back, hoping you remember that at the very least. “Do you remember this?” He asks, his voice nasal and stuffy from crying, “You loved it when I touched you here. It comforted you.”

You sob, and that is all that it takes for Tsukishima to understand that the answer was an ugly, hideous no.

“Please don’t give up on me, Tsukishima,” you say in between cries, and his heart breaks into two, “You’re all I have left to remember.”

He’s crying—you both are—and the pain feels just as agonizing as it did the first time. Like an open wound being opened deeper, deeper with exactly what hurt you, then buried in a sea of salt—the pain is long, hard, and fucking miserable.

“I won’t,” he replies in all sincerity, “I’ll be right here for you.”

“Do you remember how we fell in love?”

He blinks away his tears. “No,” he replies, “It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment we both knew we loved each other.”

“Well, then, do you remember how you fell in love with me?”

He swallows his tears for the nth time that day. “I...” he says, “I do; we were fighting about something so small that day.”

“And then?”

“I don’t remember how we got into that fight,” he sighs, “All I remember was that you were able to put me in my place—and that was how I knew; because every other person who’s tried always made me feel bad, but when you put me in my place it made me feel like i could do better, improve, for you.”

From then on it was only silence, and the soft whirring of all the machines and the air conditioning of the hospital. Tsukishima feels your fingers trace the dip of his spine, fingertips skimming up and down his back. Your movements become languid and slow; you must be falling asleep, he thinks. and he’s happy he gets this one moment of serenity, no matter how ephemeral it may be.

He’s holding you close—the you that he’s familiar with, the one he knows won’t think he’s a stranger when he wakes, and it almost feels to good to be true. He falls asleep with you in his arms, on a cramped, less-than-comfortable hospital bed; but if this is what it takes to get to you again, he’ll go through this and a whole lot more over a thousand nights just for you.

He remembers, in the worst way possible,, that all good things must come to an end, and that all he’s ever wanted was being snatched away from him all over again.

You wake up, frantic, and utter a sentence only three words long.

[storytimecatb]

Someone requested quite some time ago for something that would cheer them up. I'm sorry it took so long, tbh this cheered me up. So I hope it does the same for you ❤ even though you're probably cheery now. Haha Again I'm sorry. ---- The weather out was beautiful. The sun was shining and the sun catchers on your front room window were shooting rays of rainbows all over the room. "It's gorgeous out Van! Let's go for a walk or to the beach!" He was wearing his comfy clothes and had his head buried in his notebook writing up some new songs. You weren't sure if he heard you or not. So you asked again "Babe? Did you hear me? Do you wanna go out?" His eyes shot up at you and he shut the book "Huh? Sorry, love! I had to write that down before I forgot... what was it you were saying?" It slightly annoyed you to have to repeat yourself, but you knew how engrossed he became when it came to music. "I was saying we should go out and enjoy the weather... maybe the beach?" You smiled big hoping to convince him. "Yeah, we could do that." He looked out the window "Oh wow. It is really nice out innit? Okay let me get changed and we'll head out." He got off the sofa, gave you a small kiss and went into the bedroom. A few seconds later he was calling for you "Love!!!! Did you see my grey dress shirt?" You took a second to think but you weren't sure which shirt he was talking about. "What brand was it?" He wasn't answering, so you got up to help him look. He tore out his side of the closet "I can't find it." You had to think a bit before remembering what happened to it. "Hey babe, remember that night you and Bondy got shit faced... you came back and something was spilled all over the front of it. I couldn't get the stain out, so I binned it." He stopped rummaging through the pile of clothes on the floor "Oh. Well then, I just made a huge mess for nothing." He sat in front of the pile in defeat, "Alright. Well I'll just wear this one." He started putting on a deep red dress shirt, "I like that colour on you, Van." He smiled "Thanks, y/n. I guess I should clean up my mess." You weren't bothered by it "I'll help you clean it up when we get back, is that alright?" He paused to take a look at it again "You sure? It won't take me long." You were eager to get out of the house "No really, its fine. We'll clean it later on alright?" He shrugged "Alright then." You grabbed a light blanket for youse to sit on at the beach. It was different shades of blue and had a giant mandala on it. You both got into the car, Van drove and you threw the blanket in the back seat. "Which beach are we going to?" With the nice weather you knew the nearby beaches would be buzzin with people. But that would mean people would recognize Van, and you wanted a quiet day. "Let's go to the one by Belle's Pointe" he shot you a surprised look, you knew why he did it too. "Babe, that's like almost 2hrs out." You shrugged "Its an hour and a half if you drive fast enough." He laughed "Well alright then speed racer!" When you got to the beach there were only a couple people. It was guaranteed that nobody wanted to drive two hours just two sit around at a beach. You and Van both had your swimwear on underneath your regular clothing "wanna go for a dip, love?" You set up the umbrella and laid down the blanket "Yeah in a bit, come here. I need to put sunscreen on you, you're gonna look like a tomato if you don't. I know you forgot to." He blushed and stood before you as you covered him in the sunscreen. "I didn't forget.... I was enjoying the weather. Ya know? Maybe I wanted to tan!" You let out a little chuckle "Van, you're so god damn white. You'll fucking burn and turn red." He turned around so you could get his back "Yeah yeah." You gave him a pat on the shoulder signalling you were done. "Alright. Piss off now!" He turned and wrapped his arms around you "You're so fucking rude. But I love you." You gave him a kiss "Yeah, I love you too." "You gonna come in the water?" He knew you couldn't swim and that you would stand there wading in the water "No. Maybe later if I get too warm. But I'm going to sit here and listen to music if that's alright." He was already in the water "Alright love!" He pushed his hair out of his face with hand. The sand was almost white and it was so soft. You listened to The Kooks while watching Van swim around in the blue water. Everything was going well, until you looked over at Van. He had his arms waving in the air and was trying to run to shore in the water. You popped out your headphones "ARE YOU OKAY?!?" He got to land and was shuddering "Ughhhh fucking hell. I'm not sure if that was a fish or seaweed but it touched me." He looked so disgusted and uncomfortable. "Oh shit. I thought it was something serious." You burst out laughing "Water is just a big mystery ain't it?" He stood before the glittering water, walked away and sat next to you. "Yeah. I think I'm done in here. Gonna hang with you, that alright?" The "t" at the end of alright was none existent when he said it. "Yeah that's okay." He was dripping water all over your phone "Couldn't you have dried off a bit first before giving my phone water damage?" He put his sunglasses on and grabbed your phone. "Put it in your God damn bag and spend time with me!" He stuck it in your bag. "Yeah, okay then." He rolled on top of you getting you wet too. "That's the reason you wanted to come way the hell out here, innit Y/N?" The water coming off of him cooled you down, you took the sunglasses off his face "Don't hide your eyes from me, I like seeing them." There wasn't anyone nearby so PDA was acceptable, he started kissing your neck leaving tiny marks. But it started tickling and you couldn't help but giggle "Okay enough." He smiled, "So you didn't answer me... that's why you wanted to come out here right?" He held your hand and kissed it "Yeah, well... we wouldn't have been able to do this." He nodded and sat up lighting a smoke "Are you okay with it?" You weren't sure what he was asking "The fans?" He exhaled and laid back down "Yeah, like it doesn't bother you too much does it?" "Not a whole lot. But sometimes I like to be selfish and have you all to myself.. is that a bad thing?" He kissed you on the forehead "Of course not. I just wanna make sure that you're doing okay." He was sweet that way. He would ask this question every couple months. It was probably reassuring for him to hear you weren't annoyed with being in a relationship with someone who was quickly becoming well-known. If anything you were proud of him, and the band. "Should we head back now? Maybe drive a bit slower and enjoy the ride?" You started packing up the things "Yeah, suns gonna be setting soon. I hadn't realized how long we've been here." The air was a lot cooler than when you first got there and it sent a shiver down your spine "You cold, love? Here." He put his shirt on you. "I think my shirts look way better on you." He winked and bit his lip "Are you serious right now, Van? Get in the car, we gotta get home and clean your mess." A look on his face said he suddenly remembered that he tore apart the bedroom for a shirt. "I might buy that same shirt.... I liked it." Or he was thinking about buying the same shirt. You rolled your eyes "You're cute." When you got home you felt super tired. Van took the bags from you "Have a seat love, I'll run a bath for you." He ran off to the bathroom after putting the stuff away, you were dozing off when he came back to get you. "Baths run! Let's get cleaned up. I've also just cleaned the bedroom. It didn't take as long as I thought it would." You reached out for him and he pulled you up "You're a doll. You joining me in the bath?" He scoffed "Yeah, well I said "let's get cleaned up" didn't I?" You gave him a glare "Don't be a smartass." He smiled "Someone's getting grumpy. Okay. I won't push it, I know how you get when you're tired... and/or hungry." You couldn't help but laugh "Christ Van. Let's just get in the tub." You both stripped and climbed in. Van winced in pain "Ahhh ouch." His shoulders were red. "You still burnt, I smothered you in sunscreen!" He cautiously continued to take off his shirt "Yeahhh maybe next time we could get icecream... or beer." You put a cold damp cloth on him "Maybe we will do that..." You both got washed quickly so you could take care of him. You took out the Aloe Vera gel and put it on him "Oh fuck..." you stopped "Am I hurting you?" He smiled "No, that felt nice... the gels cold." You let out a sigh of relief "Okay. Let's get in bed now." You were both dried off and climbed into bed "Thank you for spending time with me today, I'm sorry you got burned." He pulled you in under his arm "It's fine, as long as you had fun that's all that matters." You snuggled closer and had your head on his chest. You counted his heartbeats until you drifted into a deep sleep.