#tbh that'll be cute af

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Dr.Greyson got a face reveal in Zayne’s new card !!

OH MY GOD HE DID!!!!!

Please nonnie TELL ME WHY I CRIED trying to get the courage to freaking watch the video lmaooooo I'm such a god damned baby 🤣😩😭

But it's okay he's an adorable little DORK

Everything else I say will be posted below the cut for spoilers

First off, SAY HELLO TO CANON GREYSON

I'll update this with better quality photos when I actually get the card on my iPad and get some BEEFY good quality.

I got the brown hair and (maybe??) blue eyes right, though they look more on the gray-blue side rather than the piercing blue I gave him.

And those glasses?! You guys have no idea how BADLY I wanted to give Grey glasses but I thought it was "too much" like Zayne SO FUCK YEAH I GET TO DRAW HIM IN GLASSES MUAHAHAHA

He's definitely got the straight af nose I gave him, but the jawline is very much more typical of the style LnDS likes (which makes sense, it's still an art style, even in 3d models). I love that they gave him the longer, less arched brows (another thing I drew, though they definitely went thinner, to compliment the much more delicate, boyish facial structure they've gone with).

My only big complaint is the haircut tbh, and that's just because I desperately wanted SOMEONE, ANYONE on LnDS to have some longer, wavy hair 😩😩😩 I'm going to miss drawing those luscious locks and imagining running my fingers through them and thinking about pulling his hair a lil, you know, as a treat 😌

Overall, while he doesn't resemble my Greyson very much, I give him a 7.5/10

Would still smash. He looks like he'd fall to pieces if you showed him your boobs and imo that's just as wonderful as a man who's confident with them. He's a man you can teach and he'd study pretty damn hard iykwim 👀

His glasses are cute and so is he. He's giving "the entire cast of The Mummy" smashed into one person, and my bisexual ass is here for all of it.

As for what this means for Greyson's blog and my art and my Greyson? Well, that'll be an answer for not very very tired Kay 😅

[eunchancorner]

Remember how you said you can imagine a scenario where Kevin gets dragged through tickle town by your five Ethans?

I can picture that: the helpful one trying to make him as comfortable as possible, the flirty one driving him up the wall with teases, and the tickle driven one going ham on his favorite spots while the goth and jokester are enjoying the show.

Thoughts?

Ok tbh when I said that I was referring to the one Ethan

BUT THIS IS BETTER

Like, yeah, not only would the helpful one help Kevin be nice and comfy and happy, but he'd also help his fellow Ethans by holding Kevin's arms up to keep them out of the way.

The flirty af one would be such a mean tease, calling Kevin 'adorably ticklish' and 'the cutest little thing' and all sorts of mean but overly sweet names, even going so far as to kiss him mid-wrecking just to fluster him even more

The tickle-driven one is just in a constant, endless ler mood, tickling Kevin and scratching an itch that'll never truly go away. Don't be fooled, however, this is the most empathetic Ethan and will slow down if Kevin needs it, even though Kevin also lives in a constant state of lee mood that only partially ever fades. He'll go after Kevin's ribs with such ferocity it's almost scary one moment, and be gently kissing his poor, bouncy belly the next. The whole time he's checking up on Kevin, making sure he's ok, and casually remarking about just how ticklish he is

And ofc the jokester and the goth one would just enjoy watching their sweet, ticklish af boyfriend get absolutely wrecked. The jokester would occasionally cheer the others on and the goth one... he's just watching with a little smile. Just enjoying the cuteness

[kuramaru]

Koi wo shiyou but it's Yuujirou and Aizou's date

[l1l1l1l1]

Fairy Tail season 3 review!!

What a journey! I didn't expect to enjoy this series as much as I did, but I had a lot of fun watching it! And idgaf about the haters cause everyone always has something to say. That aside, I liked this season a lot, although things could've been better executed imo.

I felt bad for Lucy when Natsu and Happy left cause everyone else in the guild had someone when they disbanded but she was by herself but I'm glad she was able to be a writer and be more independent!! The Avatar arc was alright, they had me in the first half thinking that Gray was evil.

The Alvarez Empire arc as a whole was wild. People may hate this about FT but I on the other hand am glad that there were few deaths. Why would I want my favorites to die LOL I have AOT and KNY for that. I really appreciated the screen time the other guilds got this time around too. I wish they utilized certain characters more like the Lucy's celestial spirits but it seems they were rushed or had less episodes this time around. When they dropped that the Dragon Slayers were from 400 years in the past, my mind was blown. Things from previous seasons made sense bc of that. When Makarov used Fairy Law, I didn't cry until they showed the flashback of Mavis naming him and when they showed Erza's flashback with him. They really had me crying for everyone this season omg. I was so relieved when they defeated Aconologia too - he literally became what he hated.

Mavis and Zeref deserved better!! When they showed them holding hands in heaven, the pain. And don't get me started on August. If you told me, I was gonna cry that much for him, I would've laughed. The moment he saw Mavis and stopped his spell, that hurt so bad. All he wanted was his parent’s love and he still never got it. And it’s the fact that Mavis and Zeref never knew he was their child!! I really really wanted them to know ugh. Mavis and Zeref are right person, wrong time. But the last episode, they had a reincarnation moment???

I'll do this as simple and with as many characters as I can. Ya'll know I love Lucy, she's not the strongest physically but her growth is immaculate! What I love about her is that she is very compassionate! Natsu, Gray, and Erza are amazing I love them, their bond can never be broken. Wendy also grew on me a lot too, she's so cute. Gajeel has to be my favorite tbh as well as Laxus, they're development from when we first met them is soo good. Ever, Fried, Bislow are also characters I enjoyed and wish had more screen time tbh. I loved the Strauss siblings as well, especially Mirajane and Elfman cause of their development. I also grew to like the other FT side characters like Warren, Lyon, Jellal, Bisca, Alzack, etc. I wish we got to see more Gildarts as well, he’s cool and strong af!!! I love his father daughter relationship with Cana. Happy, Lily and Carla are so funny and such gems lol.

Ok for the ships, Gajeel and Levy are cute af, and probably the most progressed ship out of the main. Their moments this season gave me so much serotonin. Speaking of which, baby??? If so, we love to see it. Referring to the last episode.

I feel so dumb thinking we'd get some NaLu confession or something, even Jellal and Erza! Gray and Juvia are ok to me, still not 100% sure how I feel about them cause sometimes I lowkey ship Gray and Lucy but I love their friendship at the same time lmao why am I like this.

I loved the overall theme of the show - friendship/family, I think that's what has me so attached. I can't wait for the 100 Years arc to be animated!!! Idk when that'll be but hopefully soon!!

Ok here are a couple bonus screen caps (I have too many I wish I could share)

[marshieee]

✨Haikyuu boys as your brother series✨

You had your second date and your brother figured it out. How will they react?

A/N: Chapter 2 pt.2 of second date. Warning there might be some errors and my english is still not good please bear with me and i hope you guys like it (´༎ຶ ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡

Masterlist

He is FRUSTRATED

He can't bear to see how you and aone are so FUCKIN SHY to each other, like fuck just talk normally.

But what frustrates him the most is you. Cause you are not like this, you deadass went 360 in personality and he doesn't like that.

He'll be around the corner mumbling"I didn't raised you like this"

He really really wanted to go and make you two hold hands but he can't that'll just ruin everything.

You and aone would deadass spot him quickly cause this bitch is tall.

And both of your phones will blow out because of him saying

TF YOU TWO DOING?!

WHY ARE YOU TWO JUST STANDING THERE WHAT ARE YOU A FREAKING STATUE?!

Y/N FOR GOD'S SAKE QUIT BEING SHY ALREADY

AONE YOU HAVE MY FULL PERMISSION TO HOLD MY SISTER'S HAND NOW GO HOLD HER HAND

Eventually you two got comfortable with each other. Because of peer pressure you two are receiving.

And the date was fun so futakuchi eventually....still followed until the end.

"That was a great date huh?"

"SHUT UP U!"

(There's an error here in kuroo's convo um the "ok he" Was colored blue so you can't clearly see it i am so sorry)

You were expecting a boy named haiba lev a half Russian half Japanese boy, who's the same age as you and tall af.

But you were greeted by a cute brown hair boy, a sweet angel inouka.

"Inouka?"

"Y/N! Hey"

"Why are you--wait did my brother?"

"Yep yaku-san told me to hang out with you today since you're spending to much time indoors"

"Is that so"

Of course that's not true tbh just two days ago you went shopping with your friends and went home late.

You already figured out that your brother just replaced your date with someone new. You don't even know if this is a date cuz inouka just said he was told to hang out with you.

"You know i kinda lied back then, yaku-san told me to have a d-d-d-date w-with y-y-you"

AAAAHHH HE'S ADORABLE glory to God my i rest in peace. You just told him that you guys should just enjoy this day.

Meanwhile. The person why you had a date with lev and the person who replaced lev was surprisingly good at stalking you. You didn't even notice an ounce of their presence.

They were good it's terrifying.

"You know i still like lev for y/n"

"Haha watch your mouth"

Probably yaku just wanted to see how things go with your date with inouka he'd rather see you date inouka tbh.

"Think about the babies they can produce"

"Alright better grit your teeth"

Overall the date was great, you had fun, kuroo died survived eventually, yaku was satisfied.

In the end you didn't know that yaku and kuroo stalked you and yaku will never tell you.

To tanaka's despair you unfortunately had a second date with terushima.

It not like he doesn't want you to have a date with someone it's just that your date is someone who's in his *most wanted to kill*

Nishinoya who is a little heartbroken because you're on a date with somebody and not him. I'll date you omfg

And the two planned to watch over you in short stalk you during your date cuz they don't trust the guy.

Ennoshita who happened to hear their plan during practice break have decided to tag along.

Who knows what will happen if this two lost their cool.

Tanaka can't really ask you or tell you to cancel your date without any reasons besides "i just don't like the guy"

That ain't manly for him.

They really would take it up a notch mostly tanaka and nishinoya only tho. They'll buy disguises.

Like disguises wigs, new clothes, hats, shades ya name it.

Ennoshita will be just behind them looking stressed and worried.

Stressed because this combo literally already planning how to murder terushima

Worried that your date might get ruined if you caught them.

Which miraculously you didn't.

You really enjoyed the date and had fun, while the trio had finished their mission. Tanaka and nishinoya MOSTLY NISHINOYA would go home dejected.

"I'm home! Whoah what's up with you"

"Oh hey! How's your date?"

"Fun actually um what's up with him?"

"Oh you know.....stuffs."

Let me tell you this yes hinta will follow you with yamaguchi, why? Cause he wanted to see how things would go he's worried.

And he asked if yamaguchi could help him.

"I'm so sorry if sho-chan troubled you sugawara-san"

"Ah it's ok i don't mind, ah also you could just call me suga"

"Oh um ok s-suga"

"Ahhh to be honest *rubs the back of his neck* i actually uh also wanted a....second date but...i was.....too....shy"

Amen sister your soul has left your body.

You two were having a great time, while hinata and yamaguchi are trying their best to hide from you two.

Which they failed cause both you and suga already noticed them from the beginning.

"Are they still there?"

"Yep"

But chose to pretend not to. It'll just hurt hinata's ego and both of you know that so you two agreed to pretend.

You find it cute that hinata is worried about you and at the same time uncomfortable cause date is supposed to be two people enjoying their time.

NOT BEING FOLLOWED.

The date ended it was perfect you really enjoyed it.

"I had fun"

"Me too"

"I guess hinata and yamaguchi already went home huh?"

"Yeah they probably thought that if they don't go home before us they might get caught."

"It looks like it hahahaha"

Silence~

"So um i better get going i think sho-chan is waiting for"

"Ah wait y/n!"

Sugawara grabbed your hand and placed a gentle kiss.

"Goodnight, let's do this again next time just tell me when you're free ok"

This was the best date you could ever asked for. You probably should thank hinata for making this happen.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

With what the previous anon said before, it's early in the game to say if it will do well since they plan to run it for 10 years, but tbh from what I can see genshin is good at making ideas that r kinda separate from the main story aka events especially if it's centered around a male character. Most of the players want cute girls so ofc they'll give them that even if it takes away from having an interesting character ig. Also at this point I feel like they're running out of ideas for the story, or at least aren't executing them well. I noticed that they go for impact (lol) than development or consistency. Like u mentioned before, Ei has a sad backstory but...that's about it? (Like how do u describe her character other than liking sweets? She has little to no personality, along with a few of the other genshin women) Up until that point she was a ruthless, and I'm all for lady villains but that turn around was ridiculous; give me a (main) character that has to face the consequences of their actions, even if it means death. Hell her character story could have been about her reflecting on her past actions and trying to make it right, of course the citizens would be slow to accept it but wouldn't it be cute if after a few regions, when u visit Inazuma, u see or hear the citizens talk about the shogun, with some ppl saying that she has changed for the better and others still criticizing her for what she did. I feel like that would give the world much more depth. Like it's becoming more obvious that there is more favoritism for the guys than the girls (hell even the male traveler gets more attention than the female one).

Idk...I feel like the game isn't giving me the same excitement as it did before, but it might just be the hype wearing of ig, I'm in the catagory of ppl that lose interest over a game after two years lol. (They do excel at making good character designs at least) Tho more anime is coming out next year so that'll probs take my attention, are there other anime or games or shows/movies that u look forward to?

Two: mention of suicide and sexism

Ei's character story could have been her witnessing the effects of her actions - how she fucked up so many people. It could have been her feeling shitty the moment she realizes that eternity leads to nothing but pain and suffering. That no matter what she does, nothing will become 'Good' again, that this war she waged onto her people didn't help with anything.

But nah.

Miyoho said "uwu have a date with this character who could have actually been a cool af villain, regardless if she turns to the good side or not"

Tbh I don't think they're running out of ideas for the story. I think they're running out of proper ways to execute them nicely. They're pumping out content to keep players playing and in the end, while it's working, it's not working that good. I think they should take their time with story related events and quests. For fucks sake, the world requests have more lore, are better executed, more exciting than the main story quest. Unless it involves puzzles. I hate em.

And yes that would be so cute!!! Slowly accepting their 'God' rather than doing it immediately... Them realizing that she's trying her best to change her ways... Would be so fucking nice.

And well, I could be pulling this from my ass, but it feels like sexism. That's a bold claim and I can't confirm if it's true or not. But from the amount of attention they're giving to the male characters is far more than the female ones. The male characters are just so... Interesting compared to most of the female characters. Obviously there are some good af written female characters but the males are just flushed out more. A lot more.

And tbh same, not as excited when it comes to events as I used to be. I only started to play again because I want C1 Xiao and c0 or any C zhongli even if it means I have to suffer.

And as for games... Hm... Not really. Well. There is neiR: Automata. I'm playing it rn, actually and I'm barely staring 9s' play through. 2B is really... Inconsistent though. Sometimes she's like "wow machines have feelings" but then she's like "showing emotions is forbidding" when around every literal corner, every Android is shown to have emotions. Also, it doesn't make sense as to why she was so attached to 9s in the very beginning when they first commit suicide??? Like, it's never been implied they met before that point. I could be wrong considering I barely started the game.

My theory is that they met before though. Because it's been told a few times that 9s doesn't mind losing his memories if it means 2B gets to keep hers once they commit 'suicide' and he only has enough time to transfer one of their memories. I could be wrong, though.

I just started to watch JoJo's bazaar adventures BUT I started half way through part 3 since that's where my bf is at rn... I might binge watch the series because it's actually very interesting and funny.

Fuck Dio tho, all my friends hate Dio.

Demon slayer is something I'm considering writing for, especially with season 2 out. So keep an eye out for that.

BSD BEAST THE MANGA I AM BUYING THE PHYSICAL FORMS BECAUSE JFC I LOVE THE ART I LOVE THE STORY AND I WILL ORDER THE LIGHT NOVEL TOO. I'M SAD AF BECAUSE OF THE NEWEST CHAPTER AND I AM EXCITED FOR THE LAST CHAPTER IN JANUARY (I THINK)!!!!

BSD SEASON 4 I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT, BRING IT BONES. YOU BETTER NOT ADD UNNECESSARY STUFF OR TAKE OUT IMPORTANT STUFF THIS TIME LIKE YOU DID IN SEASON 1!!! DON'T ADD SHIT FROM THE LIGHT NOVELS, IT'S CONFUSING AS HELL.

IK IT'S NOT ANIME BUT HAZBIEN HOTEL AND HELLVA BOSS!!!

I fear for Hazbien though.... They recasted a LOT of the pilot va's, including Alastor's singing voice, Charlie's singing voice, and angel dust's va...

Angel dust's va was perfect for the part imo.... I'm going to miss them all. Not only that, but usually when you sign off your stuff to a TV studio or whatever, you don't necessarily own that version of it completely.

A game I am looking forward towards is pokemon black and white. My brother stole it and pawned it off so I don't have them anymore. But I am planning on getting them at some point in time. Mostly for N, though. I love the story though even black 2 and white 2.

Might write a yandere! N x reader series. Maybe. I simp for that man so hard you don't even know it.

That's all I can think of for now.

[tanukifucker91]

I'm rly sick and stuck in bed and bored so let's talk about the revealed arts for clan selection 01

Angel feather: shin malkuth-melekh

Ok so as an AF player this isn't what I expected nor what I would have wished for if asked, but og MM has been a rly fun card that's both good and balanced while giving players flexibility. So I guess I'm excited even if I got a feel he might just replace the old one + if he doesn't work with Gavrail that'll be sad and wonky. Af is honestly still in a weird place bc they have so many good g3s I'm tbh more excited for what g2s or g1s we might get. Hype rating: 7/10?

Murakumo: Shirayuki retrain

I hate Shirayuki I hate fighting her, she just shuts you down and feels outright unfair for an accel deck, too many Murakumo players at my locals also. Art is nice but could be better bc Shirayuki, though pretty, was never rly simp fodder you know. So no need to make her so sexy. Hype level: 0/10 I was celebrating when old Shirayuki became limited 1, don't mess this up bushi plz

Gear Chronicle: Time Leaper (?) dragon

I was NOT expecting a new unit for GC. Was expecting like a Groovy retrain. A lot of people wanted Chronoscommand (really?). Tbh this is gonna be all about the skill, art looks not super exciting but it's a bit hard to see. Name suggest something like time leap but I'm not gonna get my hopes up. Hype level: 8/10 it's gear chronicle so I'm always gonna be excited

Neo Nectar: maiden of stand peony (?)

Again was expecting one of Tokoha's units... But I guess RPs unlikely to any Altmile support so I guess they didn't want to give Shion the short end of the stick as always. Idk what to say, she's rly pretty, love the art, but idk what NN even needs. Ahsha would need specific support as would musketeers. She's bound to be generic but idk what decks would even fit a gen unit. So rly idk. Hype level: 5/10 not much to say. But she's pretty

Shadow Paladin: Spectral Duke Dragon

Ren's Gold Paladins more like 🤢🤢👎👎🤡🤡😫😫💔💔👎👎👎

Hype level: 2/10 the art is cool and I guess it's nice to have GP units that aren't just uwu good boys

Tachkaze:???

I know nothing about tachikaze but I hope they can recover from the crippling ban list they don't deserve that bushiroad. Hype level:??/10 I prefer more realistic dinosaurs and all, but more importantly I just want tachkaze players to be happy, I hope the card is good but not broken so it won't just get banned again

Megacolony: this guy

Idk I should have more onions on this dude bc I've played against mc a lot at locals but idk what the deck needs or lacks since gredora like I have 0 clue. Art is pretty rad doe. Hype level: idk/10

Dark Irregular: Gastille

I always liked Gastille, I think he's funny, cool design and concept. Hope they can do him good, feels like he could easily mesh with the deck if they give him another copy effect, strong RC skills can also be super good in protect clans. Also the art looks bomb. Hype level: 8/10 I don't even play this clan but I wanna see what he's gonna do real bad 👀

Shadow Paladin: Fianna

Ok this is a fun one. I know a lot of SP players are celebrating rn and for good reason. Fianna is like the only SP girl boss and ppl have been asking for Legion era card retrains so this is quite exciting. I doubt she'll challenge Luard for the throne but seeing as Nemain/Luard choice restriction still exists, who knows. Either way I expect this to be fun, this feels both like a wild card choice and a fitting option to settle for. Even if she can't be her own deck she might chance things up and force SP players to make more choices. If she fits seamlessly in Luard I'm kinda gonna get pisses though lmao that deck is already too good. Hype level: 8/10 I want another SP drama shit storm at the very least plz. Also the art is amazing.

Narukami: vermillion, the blood

I always said vermillion was sexy and I stand by it. I don't play Narukami but I love vermillion. Idk what else to say, I didn't even check what bronto does yet. Hype level: 6/10 it's vermilion

Link joker: chaos breaker dragon 🤯

Ok so this is the one ppl are gonna open their wallets, pull down their pants and throw it all away for. Would be more excited if I knew it wasn't gonna be just 2 more new cards in terms of support this set. Still nice to see an old and treasured friend once more. Even if I likely won't play the deck bc I haven't been updating my LJ collection at all. Expecting salt once skill is revealed but personally I rather have my ass handed to me by CBD than anyone else so if he's a bit broken I'll forgive bushi. It's okay. Hype level: 8/10 they actually did it the absolute mad men

Gran Blue: Obake Leader Beatrice

She's really cute! And what a fun concept! Another clan I don't play nor know much about but among the new units she's by far the most interesting and creative one and her little ghosties are adorable! Kinda wish she looked more like a ghost herself but other than that I really like it. I think GB players are gonna love her too ngl. Hype level: 7/10 just a really good concept for a card using such a gen but iconic archetype like this gj

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: You about? Janis: Here all week, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: put the 🎤 down, I've got a different gig for you Jimmy: less funny but still a pisstake Janis: How well does it pay/will I still be the headliner Janis: dealbreakers, boy Jimmy: That's two questions that have nowt to do with each other Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 like you need the limelight, rich girl Janis: Oh, just call me an attention whore, that'll seal the deal 🙄 Janis: I'm just filling space where your question ain't yet Jimmy: what should is how 💕😍 I'll be all over socials Jimmy: slag for heroic acts, me Janis: What an offer 😏 Janis: Go on then, how am I saving your life today Jimmy: you're saving my 🐕 Jimmy: if you can Janis: It down a well? Janis: wrong way 'round, that Jimmy: Would I need your help if I knew where it'd pissed off to? Janis: I don't know, give me some details to work with Janis: when did you notice, how'd it get out, etc Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just come here and help me look Janis: Where are you then Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I know you can't multitask, how do you reckon you're gonna 🙏 and 🏃? Jimmy: [sends her his location which would random af cos stubborn enough to be looking for ages before he asked for her help obvs] Janis: That's my whole life, dickhead Janis: alright, don't know what your dog would be doing there but I'll be there asap Jimmy: write the book on your own time, mate Jimmy: give it a cameo if you find it Janis: Sweet, you gonna draw the pictures? Jimmy: How well's that pay? Janis: Depends how cute you draw the 🐕 Jimmy: [sends her a deliberately crap quick doodle] Jimmy: there you are Janis: Bestseller, like Janis: so much 💰💰 Jimmy: I never said I'd write it for you an' all Janis: yeah well your grasp on the English language ain't all that so Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: you gonna write it in 🍀? Thank feck I won't be able to read a word Jimmy: can only fake so much enthusiasm Janis: Yeah, you aren't great at that either Janis: but let's not focus on your many, many faults Jimmy: Stop flirting with me, I'm busy Janis: Shut up Janis: What can I do but annoy you 'til I get there Jimmy: Have a look at what you just wrote Jimmy: you might do step 1 Janis: Charming Janis: I've been great, tah Jimmy: if it makes you feel better, we can pretend the 🐕 legged it with my 👑 Janis: What actually happened, toad Janis: unlocked gate or not coming back on a walk Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: reckon I might get some convo there? Janis: 👍 for the tip Jimmy: next one'll be 💰 Jimmy: it were there, he threw a strop and chucked it out, now it ain't Janis: Bummer Janis: we'll find it, probably Janis: got a collar or any shit like that? Jimmy: [sends a picture of him holding it like 😒 cos Twix wasn't wearing it, thanks Ian you dick] Janis: 👎 Jimmy: well helpful, you Janis: I'm on my way, dickhead Janis: I can't summon the thing with my mind, soz, I know you think I'm special Jimmy: meant to be #suchanathlete Jimmy: get a move on, dickhead Janis: You know I live in the middle of nowhere Janis: give me 5, at least Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: You thought I'd moved, yeah Janis: no such 🍀 Jimmy: keep 🙏 for that fake ldr Janis: not having to be 👀 with you would be such a bonus Janis: conference call that shit in Jimmy: not having to kiss you would be massively beneficial to me Jimmy: can't afford to lose any more body parts Janis: we'll find your dog and your ear, stop complaining Jimmy: 💕 Janis: personally, I think you look better without it Jimmy: you've got shit taste Janis: That's you, we've covered that Jimmy: you Janis: 🙄 Janis: take the 🥇 Jimmy: you earned it Janis: oh please Janis: you've run the gauntlet of shit taste olympics Jimmy: don't need to beg for owt, just take it, babe Jimmy: it's alright Janis: be quiet and keep looking Jimmy: been looking for ages Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 😕 Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: Your brother and sister helping you? Jimmy: That a dealbreaker an' all? Janis: Nah, just wondering Jimmy: if we can't find the 🐕 then I'll tell 'em Janis: No sense in upsetting 'em if you don't need to, yeah Jimmy: my dad don't need another knobhead 🏆 Jimmy: gonna have enough shit to pack up when we leave Janis: Right Janis: not really coming to protect your da though Janis: dogs cute though so Jimmy: I weren't gonna @ him that you 💕 him Jimmy: bit rude to Mr Lucas Janis: let's not pretend you're doing it on mine or his account though Janis: just don't want me to move in Jimmy: not as my step-mum Jimmy: it might be popular on other sites but it ain't likely to be #goals with our demographic Janis: The lads would like it but they're less vocal with their 💕 Jimmy: more about the body language Jimmy: one bit specifically Janis: doesn't translate well with insta likes and comments Janis: less you can get 'em with an accidental doubletap but their gfs are all over that shit Jimmy: got enough hysterical lasses in my DMs, tah Janis: the struggle is so real Janis: poor you, like Jimmy: [sends her a highlight reel cos imagine tbh] Janis: Do you reckon they ever reread what they write or just send Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: I reckon Bill's turning in his ⚰ Janis: romance is dead, mate Janis: 🥀 Jimmy: re-read and don't hit send, my dear Jimmy: we're trying to avoid 💔😭 for now Janis: 'course Janis: I didn't say dog Janis: optimistic, me Jimmy: won't have to chuck in a box if it is though Janis: don't be morbid Janis: only so much I can take after reading those messages Janis: feeling well 💀 Jimmy: You'll live Jimmy: I'm out of 🚬 so there's nowt but fresh air Janis: That's truly the most devastating thing you've ever said to me Janis: I can get some though Jimmy: You heard me say I've been 👀 for ages Janis: Poor stressed boy Jimmy: Don't take the piss Jimmy: I am Jimmy: I've got work in a bit Janis: 'course you are, your dog is missing Janis: I'm not far from you now so once I get the cigs and get there, I'll take over Jimmy: 👍 Janis: been looking on those cringey neighbourhood sites, if some do-gooder had got it or it'd been hit, it'd be on there and it ain't so that's something, yeah Jimmy: Tah Janis: no big Janis: I'm not a monster Jimmy: if I keep waking you this early, fuck knows what you'll end up looking like Janis: Funny Janis: I weren't asleep anyway, you're alright Jimmy: I get it, gotta stay 💪🏆 Janis: Vampires don't sleep, baby Jimmy: do in the day Jimmy: I should be tucking you in, instead of dragging you out Janis: Add it to your list of failings and crack on Jimmy: ✔ Janis: you smoke [brand] right? Jimmy: #whenshenoticestheshityoucareabout Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Call it your defining feature Janis: along with the 😎 obvs Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt else going for me when this new boy shine wears through Janis: keep 🙏 for the day, like Jimmy: *🤞 Jimmy: me and JC don't know each other like that Janis: You don't know him, but he knows you Janis: not unlike your fans Jimmy: There's only room for one fit and mysterious lad round here so he'll have to do one back to the ☁ Janis: Hate the attention, you, well obvious 😏 Jimmy: I get it whether I want it or not Janis: They do Jesus dirty in the paintings Janis: can't compete with a selfie Jimmy: He knows what to do if he's fuming Janis: can't wait for the second coming when he fucks you right up Jimmy: #cancelled Jimmy: me either, sounds like a right laugh Janis: Miss me when I'm saved and you ain't Janis: how starcrossed ldr me from hell, bitch Jimmy: Suicide's a sin, baby, ain't you heard? Janis: so is most stuff, honestly Janis: but I'm 😇 looking Janis: gonna want me around Jimmy: no dickhead's hotter than 😈 don't you wanna be around him? Janis: 🙄 my type, yeah Jimmy: Do you want an answer for that? Janis: The devil loses in the end, you know Janis: back the winner Jimmy: love an underdog, me Jimmy: I get why you don't, rich girl Jimmy: probably get a 🦄☁ really kick that horse girl fantasy up a notch Janis: Animals don't have souls Janis: Catholic fun 101 Janis: gotta find your dog otherwise it's bad news all 'round Jimmy: 💔🐕⚰🎻☔ Janis: Cheery Janis: know you hate your job but plaster your customer service face on for me Jimmy: you inspired me with your little sermon there, like Janis: you deserved it, like Jimmy: For what? Janis: For implying I'd fuck the devil Jimmy: I never said owt of the sort Jimmy: just asking if you're off lads now 'cause of the one dickhead Janis: I don't think you can say all men are going to hell Janis: thought Asia would be 😍 for that sweeping statement Jimmy: I'll screenshot it for her Janis: 💘 Janis: cute Jimmy: where the fuck are you? Janis: ⛪ Janis: gotta go confess now, thanks a lot Janis: [sends actual location as she's coming up though like calm down] Jimmy: if you could rush it through 🤏 please Jimmy: I dunno, maybe pretend there's a character limit Janis: soz the priest is well invested in hearing all about me fucking the devil Jimmy: can't stop being goals, you Jimmy: come hell or high water Jimmy: tell him to put his 👅 and owt else back in Janis: Lord knows I may as well become a nun according to you Janis: get that good book and that good dick Jimmy: Oi I never said you should, I asked if you were Janis: Not really got the time, have I Jimmy: You've got all night 🧛 girl Jimmy: for a start Janis: When we're not fake out, sure Jimmy: I don't outstay my welcome at parties, that's the other dickhead Janis: This is all irrelevant Janis: and he can turn water into wine, he's never not welcome, boy Jimmy: I didn't mean him Janis: Now you're making it sound like I hooked up with Voldemort Jimmy: I dunno his name or @ do I? Janis: Ha, Harry, actually Jimmy: I never said I wanted to know it, but tah Janis: just trying to avoid Jesus related mixups, don't think he needs the ego boost if I'm honest Jimmy: 👌 Janis: This is you though, yeah Janis: hate to approach the wrong dickhead Janis: [waving like yo] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Don't have a bottle of wine in my pocket that were water, soz, just that conditioned to be fake happy to see you Janis: [does 💔 hands 'right, show me where you usually walk her, the route, then you can fuck off whenever you need to'] Jimmy: [walking like a rude hoe not even gonna say hey or anything okay then] Janis: [just shrugging like okay then but purposefully keeping up pace so he can't march ahead] Jimmy: [we strutting in stressed silence] Janis: [on phone, but making a socials post like if you see this dog, 'cos Cass ain't gonna see it on hers so doesn't matter and could help] Jimmy: [nodding at her like thanks when he sees it] Janis: [shrugs again like nbd] Jimmy: [keep going lads that poor baby dog needs you] Janis: [hit all them doggy hotspots like the park etc] Jimmy: [I hope she's found a 🐕 friend or something so she's not all alone and forlorn] Janis: [my boo is #concerned] Jimmy: [I am, she's just a smol baby and they haven't trained her or anything] Janis: [least we aren't being too evil] Jimmy: [I could NEVER] Janis: [asking relevant Twix questions 'cos you care but also to have some convo] Jimmy: [acting like you don't know cos you hate that dog so much #lies] Janis: [lowkey like why am i looking then boy but just via looks not actually gonna say it] Jimmy: [basically being like don't then as if you haven't asked for her help with exactly this] Janis: [walks ahead like I'll keep doing this but we don't need to do this] Jimmy: [keeps up because doesn't wanna be his moody af father] Janis: [looks at him like alright?] Jimmy: [just looking back her because no but god forbid you talk about it ever] Janis: [makes face like yeah, I know and goes in her pocket 'nearly forgot' and hands him the cigarettes] Jimmy: [we know the drill by now, ladies first without even asking which works as a lowkey sorry for being a prick rn too so] Janis: ['cheers'] Jimmy: [the most dramatic exhale of smoke/sigh but not deliberately dramatic just how he's feeling rn cos he's running out of places to look like Twix where you at babe] Janis: [gently nudges his side with her shoulder like it'll be okay but not saying that 'cos can't promise it so, running ahead when you see a dog walker to ask if they've seen any dogs on their own] Jimmy: ? Janis: [jogging back over but not coming fully, like you gotta follow me 'she reckons there was a dog that didn't seem to be with anyone in [a park but not Twix's usual lol]'] Jimmy: [does follow her even though he probably doesn't know where that even is because literally me and could get lost anywhere] Janis: [now gotta search every bush in this park like hellooo] Jimmy: [gotta call her name like that's not lowkey awks for someone so 😎] Jimmy: [also I know this is serious business but 100% needs to push her into a bush like my mum did to me/ jump out from behind one just because] Janis: [we all know you're not cool but yeah, some pet names are really awks if you have to shout them lmao, also yes, even if you jump way more than you normally would 'cos tense situ and then you're 😒] Jimmy: [loling too much because it's one of those days and you gotta but not gonna help her 😒 face you'll have to get your own back gal] Janis: [just handing him some dog luring food she got and jogging off like I'll go this way] Jimmy: [she should get her because start of a beautiful friendship] Janis: [I vibe, I'll see if I have a pic of them were she looks buzzing/smug enough lol] Jimmy: [when you hug the bae because you're so relieved that the kids won't kick off or your dad or your manager cos you won't be late now but also because she stayed and actually helped you and like who does that ever] Janis: [Twix like lemme get in on that 'cos full of love] Jimmy: [shoutout to the mvp she is for stopping that becoming too much of a moment] Janis: [and being awkward or anything like that god bless 'see, all alright, yeah'] Jimmy: [when he's probably holding this dog cos 1. don't run off again and 2. she's hyper af and needs to be licking his face and snuggling him so he's 😒 and a look like is it though but we know you love Twix really] Janis: [lols 'she knows you missed her, like, you can't hide it'] Jimmy: [lowkey throws the dog at her with a piss off kinda look] Janis: [gives Twix some love and a 🙄 at him but not harsh] Jimmy: [does it back because always] Janis: ['no excuse to skive off work now though' face like gutted] Jimmy: ['you could've offered to phone in fake sick for me, bit rude' cos throwforward to when we actually did that haha] Janis: ['if they let their barista boys have time off for every new girl, they'd go out of business' shoutout to your hot colleagues the flat whites sexually harass] Jimmy: [oh pete I love you my darling but meanwhile Jimmy is just shrugging cos wouldn't care if the CG did tbh] Janis: [punching, there should be another word for that 'cos sounds so violent I just mean a friendly tap like, his arm, 'come on, I need the limelight, you need the paycheck'] Jimmy: ['you coming in for a latte then?' we 👀 you shamelessly wanting to spend time with her boy, deliberately saying latte because she would NEVER] Janis: [scoffs in DISGUST honey 'not your real girlfriend, boy, though with the heartbreak she's probably just necking double espressos, right?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head 'drumming up business and a bae, so evil, you are' as if you didn't send the message lol] Jimmy: ['You did the evil deed, Judith, square that one with your priest an' all'] Janis: ['or, did I do you all a favour, think on that'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like you've only done me this one favour rn ever] Janis: ['that's alright, no need for a thank you card'] Jimmy: [writes leave it out in the air with a flourish] Janis: [😏 'when's your shift then and what are you gonna do with the dog?'] Jimmy: [does her trick of checking an imaginary watch 'might chuck an apron on her and give her a go with the steam wand' but we know he's really gonna nip home first so Twix can snuggle with the kids cos had an exciting morning and she just a baby] Janis: ['you really gonna give employee of the month away just like that' does loser sign then looks around like hmm, 'cos you in town now, what are you gonna do, ensue awks] Jimmy: ['Reckon I'm safe, it'll be all them espressos if nowt else' just lowkey drags her along with him, bit rude] Janis: [just like umm excuse me but doesn't not come along like] Jimmy: [looks at her and the dog and back like she's not home yet, the job's not done 'won't get fake girlfriend of the month by taking the piss'] Janis: [dramatic gasping like oh no 'I'm the only fake girlfriend you have, babe, 'less it's your ultimate #kinkunlocked'] Jimmy: [dramatic gasp back like he's been busted] Janis: ['it's alright, already knew you were a pervert' accidental LOOK] Jimmy: ['before you agreed or after?' and a LOOK back of course] Janis: ['that'd be telling'] Jimmy: ['So go on'] Janis: [shakes head 'who knew or knows anything about you, mystery boy?'] Jimmy: [winks at Twix as if she knows all his secrets] Janis: ['nerd' but we all know she thinks it's cute] Jimmy: ['Oi, you barely know her' cos he is a nerd] Janis: [gives her more fuss 'the bitch is cool'] Jimmy: ['steady on, she won't fit through the door'] Janis: 'but if we can wedge her in, she won't be able to get back out' taps head like tada 'you just hate when anyone else gets compliments'] Jimmy: ['Busted again, me. You're proper on one this morning, mate'] Janis: ['always am, you're just in a good mood 'cos your bestie is back'] Jimmy: [snorts like if you say so] Janis: ['ignore him, he's a right moody dickhead most the time' @Twix] Jimmy: ['ignore her, right comedian so she reckons, might get the hint one of these days' also @ twix] Janis: ['She knows who saved her, mate, team me all the way'] Jimmy: ['go on and take her home with you, hate to break both your hearts, obvs'] Janis: ['hate to break your little brother's though'] Jimmy: ['my sister would fight you for her any road, a black eye ain't gonna be goals like the bruises I give you'] Janis: [lols 'there we go then, shoulda kept that to yourself if you were tryna get me sparked out'] Jimmy: [gives her a OTT scandalised look like why would I do that 'if it ain't #goals it ain't a goal of mine, Jules'] Janis: [a look like yeah right] Jimmy: ['if you wanna have a scrap, crack on with pulling Asia's hair or something'] Janis: [🙄 'bitch fight ain't my scene, even faking it, soz to the punters who'd love it'] Jimmy: [the heartbroken hand mime again] Janis: ['such a boy' looking at Twix like can you believe him?] Jimmy: [looks down at himself like he's so shook cos biggest nerd] Janis: ['not a compliment, Pinocchio'] Jimmy: ['isn't it?'] Janis: ['I knew you were a boy, you can have that if you're short on love'] Jimmy: ['bit busy @ing my dad about how much of a lad you reckon I am, hang on'] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [lights another 🚬 cos 1. it's been a minute 2. such a lad 3.😎] Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: such a flirt, you Janis: just so manly, bears repeating, obvs Jimmy: [nudges her like go on then tell the fans] Jimmy: gonna make me 😳 if you keep on Janis: Let me know if you've got it in you and I'll add it 'fore I hit send, like Jimmy: let me know if you've got it in you, more like Janis: You reckon I can't make you blush? Jimmy: do you reckon you can? Jimmy: that's the question Janis: Obviously I can Jimmy: What are you waiting for, a written invitation? Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm busy over here Jimmy: you're chatting bollocks over there Janis: The world needs to know the 🐶 is alive and well and you're such a #lad if you don't mind Jimmy: convenient timing that Janis: only a performing monkey when there's a crowd, you know that Jimmy: [a look like yeah right] Janis: [kicking his ankles like shh and not looking at him] Janis: you still owe me a good idea anyway Jimmy: I said blush not bleed, babe Janis: know what I prefer Jimmy: #kinkunlocked ages ago 🧛 girl Janis: then be nice and give me what I want Jimmy: [gives her a look like what do you want] Janis: [the 'you know' coming out before you can even think to stop yourself, then shaking your head and pointing at your fangs with a smirk like duh] Jimmy: [sets his phone camera on a timer like this is how long you've got to try and make me 😳 or bleed and gestures her over to a bench like] Janis: [doing a big sigh as if you're all ugh but really it's 'cos you're nervous but shh, once he's sat down, sitting in his lap of course but making a point of seeing if you're in-frame so we've got the pretense for how real you're shamelessly gonna be, looking at him properly 'Jimmy, I missed you'] Jimmy: [saying her name back because the only other time he has was when he was annoyed and that is simply not allowed thank you and hitting her with the 😍 #tooreal] Janis: [shuffling closer to him into his lap somehow when he says your name and smoothing his hair off his face with both hands then letting them come to rest on his shoulders, giving them a little massage 'I mean it' #whenthecameraisrollingandyouvebeenchallenegedsoyoucansaythisisallpretendifyouhaveto #adangerousgame] Jimmy: [so into it and would be even if he hadn't had the most stressful morning ever but because he has and because we can say it's fake SUCH A SOUND 'I know, I can tell' #boywhyhaveyoustartedsomethingyouliterallyhaveworktogotosoon] Janis: ['Can you tell just how bad though?' when moving closer has turned into grinding on him shamelessly] Jimmy: [a nod because speaking is dangerous rn fake or real] Janis: ['what else do you wanna know?'] Jimmy: ['What else do you want me to know?'] Janis: [tilting your head to one side like you're thinking, still rubbing his shoulders 'depends'] Jimmy: [his eyes closing because it feels nice which is not the word tbh 'on what?' because I have to ask] Janis: [little kisses on his eyelids then whispering in his ear 'if you're ready to know it all'] Jimmy: [have to kiss her to keep it vague and save our lives because is that a this is how ready I am or is it I'm kissing you so I don't have to answer] Janis: [either way, a kiss moment honey] Jimmy: [like we know the answer lads but we can't out Jimothy that hard right here right now so gotta keep you guessing babe] Janis: [finally breaking off the kiss, so reluctantly, 'Did you blush?'] Jimmy: [gives her his phone so she can look because shamelessly buying himself some recovery time after that] Janis: [not getting off him, just resting your head on his chest whilst you watch this back like comfy are we] Jimmy: [just playing with her hair like you're trying to fix whatever mess you made of it during that kiss, we see your flimsy excuse boy cos you're not being that soft about it rn] Janis: [making a noise like did you have to or can you legitimately not help it rn] Jimmy: [if he wasn't blushing before he is now thank god she's looking at this phone] Janis: ['that was definitely a blush there' pointing at some point in that recording like see, looking up at him 'you look cute'] Jimmy: ['you're taking the piss' because works for both things she said and he's a boy of few words] Janis: [shakes head like nu-uh] Jimmy: [pokes her like yeah you are] Janis: [boops his nose like no I'm not] Jimmy: [still has his hand on her waist after poking her so tickles her of course] Janis: ['don't drop me' so dramatically] Jimmy: [fakes like he is gonna drop her which makes twix cray] Janis: [just a look like see? she loves me] Jimmy: [such a dramatic sigh like ugh he's so over you both #lies] Janis: ['be nice'] Jimmy: ['or what?'] Janis: [raising a brow 'you're ready to find that out, yeah?'] Jimmy: [raises his own back at her 'why wouldn't I be? The scaredy cat's you'] Janis: [puts a finger to his lips dramatically like shh and nods to Twix 'she'll hear you'] Jimmy: [irl 👍 because good I hope she do] Janis: ['you're so jealous of our love, honestly'] Jimmy: ['bit busy with my own, she's a handful, like' oh Asia god bless] Janis: ['yeah I've heard about her cup size, thanks' 🙄] Jimmy: [lil lol] Janis: [finally getting off him like hmpf on the low] Jimmy: ['you've got nowt to be jealous of' is he being real or fake we'll never know] Janis: ['duh' and getting up up 'better get this dog back or you'll be late'] Jimmy: [literally has never wanted to go to work less in his life but come on lads] Janis: [we just walking along merrily like that didn't happen] Jimmy: [#socasual] Janis: [so casual nbd we're all friends here, is gonna need a 🚬 though but never asking just accosting him like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [do something else with your hands and mouths kids, cos you know he has to have one too even though he's had so many today already] Janis: [oh Twix, you rascally babe] Jimmy: [it's all Ian's fault as per] Janis: [at least something good came of it but not getting the credit for that] Jimmy: ['gonna have to get her chipped' thinking out loud cos you know Ian hasn't sorted that or wants the expense] Janis: [nods 'don't take a second, like'] Jimmy: [a look like that's good cos when do I have a sec but then shrugs cos gonna be so unbothered] Janis: [shrugs back 'might be just as easy to look at your fence sitch for puppy-sized holes'] Jimmy: ['I get it, I'm SUCH a lad, no need to go overboard' 😏] Janis: [shakes head 😏 'alright, get your sister to if you can't deal'] Jimmy: ['volunteering to wake her up and tell her to crack on, are you?' 😏 'Tah, babe, willing to go proper above and beyond, you'] Janis: [noise like psh no thank you lol 'way above my paygrade, ask Asia, I'd happily watch that'] Jimmy: [such a lol] Janis: [actual smile] Jimmy: [control your 😍 boy by nodding at the dog 'reckon you've done enough for a bit' cos genuinely is grateful we know] Janis: [forget about it gesture 'favour for the dog, really'] Jimmy: ['probably would've been kinda to let her find a new bunch of dickheads' when you're joking but you're also actually not] Jimmy: [*kinder] Janis: ['now you tell me' but nudges him like come on, you ain't that bad] Jimmy: [nudges her back 'yeah 'cause I missed you an' all' is he being fake about needing to see her so bad #theanswerisno] Janis: [looks at Twix like ?! 'is this even your dog?' 😏] Jimmy: ['Nah' cos lbr he's too 😎 for a dog like this thanks for that Ian] Janis: ['OMG, you're like soulmates' 🖤 hands] Jimmy: [gives her a look cos she said Twix was her true love and he was jealous before, like make your mind up] Janis: ['that's why you're jealous' points at Twix 'player'] Jimmy: ['you wish, dickhead'] Janis: [a look like obvs, dickhead] Jimmy: [blows a smoke ring at her in a sassy manner like there's your 💍] Janis: [waves it away 'show-off'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby'] Janis: ['have to show me how to do it sometime, like'] Jimmy: ['I'll edit it to look like you got the knack first time, keep shit goals'] Janis: [😒 'be a better teacher then, wanker'] Jimmy: ['I've already got owt else that Mr Lucas could possibly want, be cruel that'] Janis: ['cept my heart, but shh'] Jimmy: ['far as he knows I have'] Janis: ['he all up on the socials, you reckon?' face like ew] Jimmy: ['first in, last out' and a dramatic shiver like GROSS] Janis: ['least he won't dob us in if he wants more of that sweet, sweet #content' irl equivalent of 🤢] Jimmy: [sighs like our work's never done 'UGH, we'll just have to find another way to get in trouble at school' and a LOOK] Janis: [a LOOK back 'basically my specialty'] Jimmy: ['don't sound like you that' because she's so 😇 obvs] Janis: ['wait and see' 'cos you only did that one project together then school trip] Jimmy: ['Alright' when you're agreeing to still be doing this after the holidays unthinkingly there] Janis: [probably get to his house, assumedly the first time] Jimmy: [go throw Twix in with those snoozy kids and get ready for work quickly sir] Janis: [jus' chillin' like why am I still here lowkey] Jimmy: put the kettle on, rich girl Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of one like she's never seen one because got staff] Janis: 😱 Janis: don't know how you take your tea Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you better leave Janis: this fake relationship just proved too fake Jimmy: we're over, off you go Janis: would you rather I guess and give you a shit cup Janis: come on Jimmy: might do Jimmy: but if you ain't up for the challenge Janis: You're ridiculous Janis: but fine Jimmy: #mayberidiculouswillbeouralways Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [did I fever dream that they take their tea the same way which was milk and two sugars? because I'm sure we said that in another convo but idk] Janis: [I also remember that and is how she's gonna make it so get ready to FALL IN LOVE BOY] Jimmy: [he's not gonna be able to control the 😍] Janis: would sir like his tea upstairs or down? Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is looking like a snack in his barista uniform which realistically she might not have seen before this] Janis: [when he actually looks good so you have to be OTT fake about it] Jimmy: [when you try the tea and you're like!!! so you have to be all like 'Oi' and call her a cheat] Janis: ['how could I, you got it written down somewhere in case you forget?' lols] Jimmy: [do the I'm watching you thing @ her all 😒] Janis: ['you just take your tea the only correct way, doesn't mean we're fated, calm down'] Jimmy: ['keep that to yourself' drinking that excellent tea] Janis: [🤐] Jimmy: [unzips her like but drink your tea] Janis: ['nerd' but does, of course] Jimmy: [holds his finger up like when you have an aha moment and starts looking in her mouth like a dentist in the manner of oh while it's unzipped lemme just] Janis: ['gross!' moving away so faux offended 'what are you doing, weirdo?'] Jimmy: ['lost an earring, gotta check you ain't swallowed it, girl' such a nerd goodbye] Janis: ['vampire, not a thief' look like how dare you] Jimmy: [' still stole my heart though' cos gotta be OTT fake sometimes] Janis: [finger guns at his chest] Jimmy: [gun at his head and death again] Janis: ['hot'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: 'who's on shift today?' like she knows] Jimmy: [shrugs because could not care less] Janis: [tuts but 😏] Jimmy: [gestures like come on let's go find out] Janis: [shrugs like okay 'I've got a few to kill'] Jimmy: [nods to the imaginary watch cos it's unspoken acknowledgement that the flat whites won't be there that early and she can leave before they are] Janis: ['heaven forbid they leave the house before applying 50 layers of foundation, shit is time-consuming'] Jimmy: [so triggered thinking about his northern ex rn like the horrified facial expression would be so genuine] Janis: [nod of approval 'good acting'] Jimmy: [does the polishing his medal he's wearing mime] Janis: [when it's your nametag 'who the fuck is Jamie?'] Jimmy: ['you ain't met him? honestly gutted for you'] Janis: ['will he be on shift today?' skipping like you're so buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: ['wait and see' cos word theft] Janis: ['ugh, tease'] Jimmy: ['Not trying to turn you on, calm down'] Janis: ['Jamie might be' shrug like don't count me out yet tah] Jimmy: [shrugs back 'he's a starving artist, owt for tips'] Janis: ['fuck you' 😒] Jimmy: ['fuck him, being right dickhead makes him your type'] Janis: ['good' like I intend to, oh honey lol] Jimmy: 'good' boy how you gonna be jealous of someone who doesn't exist] Janis: [when it's literally you lmao] Jimmy: [also he so hasn't posted that bench moment let it be known] Janis: [that's for the best literally no one has asked for that content] Jimmy: [haven't deleted it though have you my dear 👀 you] Janis: [we all know that was shameless so we're not thinking or talking about it ladeeda] Jimmy: [get into work boy, get busy cos we know you're thinking about fuck all else] Janis: [chilling not at all casually at a table] Jimmy: [make her that first ever 💣 smoothie please and thank] Janis: that your specialty? Jimmy: what? Janis: smoothies and juices and shit Jimmy: @CG_FAQ or whatever it is Janis: I get it, you're very busy Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: [serves some business person trying to get a coffee but is looking at her like 🙄😏] Janis: [💔 hands and shamelessly having a nose at his co-workers] Jimmy: [Pete is 100% there, hey babe] Jimmy: So? Go on then Janis: ? Jimmy: Do you like it? Janis: I didn't ask if it were your specialty to take the piss, like Janis: s'good Jimmy: I'll @ my manager Janis: I can do it for you Janis: seems appropraitely fake girlfriend of me Jimmy: I get it, it would be goals to get sacked for having a scrap with him when he's 😍 for you Jimmy: 🥇 plan Janis: I'm not getting you sacked Janis: how many IOUs would that warrant, like, no thanks Jimmy: you're meant to want to spend every second of every day with me, play the game, Janet Jimmy: what kind of fake girlfriend Janis: fine Janis: just 🤞 he's the hot one Janis: [going to chat to Pete] Jimmy: he ain't here, wouldn't have to @ him if he were Jimmy: the accent ain't that hard to understand Janis: oh well, now he'll pass that along for you Jimmy: Tah Janis: [sits back down like you're welcome] Jimmy: you hungry? Janis: I could eat Jimmy: [gets her whatever sucks the least] Janis: Tah Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Steady on, nowt on the menu's 👍 Janis: that was for you Janis: if I go up to the tip jar now I'll just look keen Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is that for me? Jimmy: Do you see any of my other girlfriends about? Janis: [does fake check] Janis: thankfully not Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: so special Jimmy: you're alright Janis: 😂 Jimmy: I mean it Janis: Alright then Janis: you too Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I don't want your tacked on you an' all Janis: well I mean it too Janis: I can't say it 'cos you got in there first, psh Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: dry your eyes and eat your food, mate Janis: alright, dad Janis: focus on one job at a time Jimmy: edit that nickname a bit and you're good to # Janis: we're not fake there yet Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Sorry Janis: know you're the right age but that's about it Jimmy: RUDE Janis: Shh Jimmy: I will not Jimmy: and there's nowt you can do about it Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't you hate a chatty barista Jimmy: I ain't serving you Jimmy: already have done Janis: yeah, some daddy 😏 Jimmy: funny Janis: you've got my best work for the day Janis: 'til I workout anyway Jimmy: lucky me Janis: don't be rude Janis: saved your life Jimmy: you started it Janis: If you want me to call you that, put it in a contract and get me to sign Janis: that's not rude Jimmy: twist your own arm and 🖋🩸 your own oath, bit busy here Janis: Very impressed Jimmy: admitting how easily you are ain't very 🥇 Jimmy: you might wanna 🤐 Janis: Not got time for sarcasm either? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: When have I ever had time for your pisstaking? Janis: awh 😭 Jimmy: enjoy the 🎻🎻 I left you both your 👂s Janis: well aren't you generous Janis: tell everyone how not hard you go with it Jimmy: that rich v poor divide just keeps rearing it's head #awks Jimmy: and you're in the wrong 🗨 if you reckon every word's getting screenshotted Jimmy: @💀👑 not 😎🚬 Janis: oh, you mean my true love, yeah Jimmy: if the hair extensions fit Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'm gonna go see where they're @ Janis: brb Janis: [out tha door] Jimmy: in a bit Jimmy: [but watching her go like a forlorn 🐕] Janis: [going to the gym obvs 'cos got to go work this out can't sit in the tension this long without needing a moment] Jimmy: [do some work bitch but not actually because I like to imagine him drawing Twix on a wanted poster but doing an ^ un next to the wanted to sass her and posting that at some point #arthoe] Janis: [puppydog eyes selfie you do not need to send re. that poster] Jimmy: You pull a muscle? Jimmy: Hang on, I'll be right there to carry you out Janis: Defending my lady from your savage and swift pen, thank you very much Jimmy: go on Janis: Come here and I'll 🥊 ya Janis: only got the 🥺'til then, and it's harder to make you 😳 from afar too Janis: besides, wouldn't wanna make your customers even more inappropriate with you, even you don't deserve that, like Jimmy: if the subject of my 🎨 was such a dealbreaker you should've stuck around to be inspiring Jimmy: but alright, the selfie's a start Janis: A start, yeah? Jimmy: you heard Janis: Aside from my blood, what else do you want/require? Jimmy: is that a trick question? Janis: No Janis: wanna be as 🥇 a muse as a fake girlfriend Jimmy: if you were 🥇 you wouldn't need me to tell you owt Janis: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: and you're meant to teach me how to blow smoke rings too Jimmy: I'm due a break, gimme a shout when you're done 💪 Janis: don't you wanna take a break break Janis: my current muse abilities will get me through the day alright Jimmy: and you admitting what hard work you are will get me through this shift alright Janis: that'll be why you want me to come back Jimmy: take both my jobs seriously, me Janis: hard work, I remember Janis: another #kinkunlocked Janis: I can give you that punishment, if you really want Jimmy: hot Janis: of course Janis: not a total amateur Jimmy: fooled me Janis: piss off Jimmy: [a little doodle he's drawn of her based on that selfie she sent but a deliberately quick one so we don't get into the #feels of drawing her properly yet] Janis: 🎨🖌 Jimmy: you looked cute Jimmy: [cos gotta steal her words from earlier] Janis: dead convincing, babe 😏 Janis: am I still coming or have you powered through with that picture? Jimmy: Do you still wanna come or are you too 😍💕 to be around me now you've 👀 that masterpiece? Janis: Obviously I need a moment Jimmy: duh Janis: not just to shower or anything, like Janis: full swooning time Jimmy: I get it, making lasses go weak at the knees is my full time occupation Jimmy: ☕ just a prop Janis: Do you pay tax on that? Jimmy: Who sounds like a dad now? Janis: 💰💰 is all I care about, of course Jimmy: with the wrong lad then Janis: take the bragging right of being just that good then, eh Jimmy: you trying to make me 😳 from afar? Jimmy: never stop, you Janis: that a request or a comment? Jimmy: What do you reckon? Janis: Maybe I'll pretend it's the option I prefer regardless Jimmy: can do Janis: tah for the permission Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: I mostly meant it and all 😘 Jimmy: never said owt you don't, obvs 😘 Janis: especially not to you, baby Jimmy: stop making me miss you if you ain't showing up Janis: Stop distracting me and I'll be with you sooner Jimmy: you started it Janis: I purposely left so I didn't Janis: 😇 Jimmy: you did it before you left Janis: when? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I wanna know what distracted you Jimmy: you do Janis: Okay Janis: I wish you would tell me Jimmy: I don't have the words Jimmy: Bill's 👻 ain't here Janis: What's his order? Janis: tell me that Jimmy: Macchiato Jimmy: he's a slag for espresso but he 💕 foam 🎨 Janis: 😂 Janis: good answer, you really know all your customers Jimmy: that employee of the month 🏆 as good as has Jamie on it Janis: wait Janis: 😑 ugh Jimmy: ? Janis: Jamie isn't real Jimmy: What? Jimmy: 'course he is Jimmy: 👀 right at him Janis: 💔 Janis: why would you hurt me like this Janis: I was so excited to 👀 him Jimmy: He's got all the words for how distracting you are Jimmy: I probably shouldn't let you see him Janis: Please Jimmy: I dunno, he's a bit keen Janis: how keen? Jimmy: Bill'd be about it Janis: intriguing Jimmy: he is that Janis: How can I meet him? Jimmy: Haven't you got a plan? Jimmy: must not be that keen yourself Janis: I've only got to prove to Jamie how keen I am Jimmy: 🤞 he's easier to impress than me Janis: as easy as you are to make blush, I'll be 🤤 Jimmy: unless it's as easy as you are to make 😳 you'll be 💔 Janis: Do you want me to be 💔? Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Won't it be awkward for you? Janis: me and Jamie Jimmy: You doing this to try and make shit awkward for me? Bill will be gutted he missed the #drama Janis: That's not what I'm trying to do Jimmy: We've covered that I don't care what you do, Jules Janis: That's alright then Janis: I'll crack on Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you've made me so 😭 Jimmy: Baby Janis: make it up to me? Jimmy: how? Janis: hmm Jimmy: Oi, don't leave me in suspense Janis: I mean, what's a fair trade for making Jamie so hot and so fake really Janis: you owe me more than a cigarette Jimmy: nowt ain't fair trade here, what do you want? Janis: 😏 Janis: nerd Jimmy: hate to disappoint Janis: Baby, you could never Jimmy: if you're 😭 I've let myself down though Janis: depends Janis: that lot are so permanently 😭 they must consider it goals Jimmy: Nah, you just can't put nowt they do in the #goals category Janis: you know how to make me 😊 Jimmy: you look so goals when you are, I have to Jimmy: it's a 🥇😊 Janis: 😳 easy, yeah Jimmy: take the 🏆 Janis: alright Jimmy: is it? Janis: why wouldn't it be? Jimmy: It's not usually that easy Janis: you've told me three times now, hard work Jimmy: I know, it were me who said it Janis: yeah Janis: a lot gets said Jimmy: loads of # an' all Janis: it's like reading between the lines Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: okay, convo 💀 got it Jimmy: come on Janis: Bill's is a macchiato, so I've heard Jimmy: He'll take a cold brew if it's ☀ Janis: Make me hate him more, honestly Jimmy: he's just trying to stay #relevant Janis: oh Bill 💔 Janis: ain't we all? Jimmy: would love to be irrelevant, me Jimmy: it's a hard life being this fit and mysterious 🎻💔 Janis: preaching to the preacher Janis: what a cross to bear Jimmy: don't rub it in that he's only got 😍 for you, girl Jimmy: 💔👴 Jimmy: I'm so 😭😭 and 😠😠 Janis: Oh baby boy Janis: I don't think a sexy old man costume is gonna be convincing enough Janis: gotta let you spread your wings Jimmy: too right it won't Janis: Well, I'm so SORRY I'm not enough for you! Jimmy: you should be Janis: you are so rude OMG Jimmy: you're so young and fit, it's well out of order Jimmy: what am I meant to do with that? Jimmy: gimme something to work with here, for fuck's sake Janis: God, when I signed up for a pervy older boyfriend, this is NOT how I imagined it Janis: fetishize my innocence ffs! Janis: like, you aren't even gonna try and use my inexperience to your advantage, WTF?! Jimmy: I dunno what to tell you, Joanne, dad's are a disappointment Jimmy: fucked if that weren't the type of daddy you were hoping for Janis: 😂 Janis: my own ain't such goals I'm tryna get another just like him, nah Jimmy: and I ain't got the 💰💰💰 so that's pissed on that angle Janis: guess it don't make no sense to keep you about Jimmy: on you go Jimmy: keep walking Janis: it's not been real Jimmy: it were real, baby and we were 🥇 Janis: 💕 Janis: very 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Jimmy: nowt to live for now Janis: nowt to die for either Janis: but if you're ready to take that break now, Mr Brightside Janis: [showing up outside like hello] Jimmy: [appears as fast as he can considering he's meant to be working hard] Janis: ['alright?'] Jimmy: ['you?' because can never answer anything ugh] Janis: [nods but the slightly awkward vibe again 'cos becoming less clear what's fake, what's pisstake and what's real every day yo] Jimmy: [ain't that the tea, lights them both a 🚬 cos of course he does] Janis: [takes it, grateful for the distraction as per, after a while, getting more comfortable in front of him again 'you are a dickhead though'] Jimmy: [gives her such an offended look like excuse you 'yeah but what've I done now?'] Janis: [taps his name badge like hi, Jamie but smirks and shrugs 'don't actually owe me anything for it though, guess I see the potential funny side of it when you're surrounded by dull basic bitches all day every day, like'] Jimmy: [takes off the badge and chucks it dramatically even though he'll have to pick that up before he goes back in but the gesture stands like ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?] Janis: [lols 'yes, that is exactly what I wanted, you nutter'] Jimmy: ['Good'] Janis: [just doing the thing where you're trying not to look so you just keep doing lots of little looks] Jimmy: ['What we doing in a bit?' because you're already thinking about her leaving after this and you don't want to not see her later] Janis: [shrugs again 'until our peers actually wake up and plan parties, the diary's free' 'cos most teens are so lazy compared to these two so who knows yet, oh I was thinking though we should do a rave and/or a festival moment with them in this hol both would work well as prolonged fake dating but also the scenes are busy enough they wouldn't have to be ON the whole time but we know they would 'cos shameless] Jimmy: [yaaaaaaaaaaaaas I love that, we could totally do both like a rave in a warehouse moment that's just a night but then a festival that's a couple of days maybe because he'd be so ! about leaving the kids behind then but not something he can take them to] Jimmy: ['we could do' cos imagine them trying to plan a party please] Janis: [I agree, I think they're both valid plans, 'cos everyone could be at both, so we can have whatever we wanna/need to happen happen] Janis: [raises her brows like whaaaa but then tilts her head like she's thinking about it 'well we are basically prom king and queen of the moment so'] Jimmy: ['I get that you might be worried 'cause of being a massively shit host but you'll have me' 😏] Janis: [tuts at him loudly 'like I actually want any of the cunts 'round here to ever have a good time' a look like do you know who you're talking to rn but then 😏 'would be worth it to beat them at their own game though, obviously'] Jimmy: ['we need somewhere we can properly trash, so we can have a good time if nowt else' because not doing it at his gaff cos of the kids as much as I'd love to annoy Ian and we want somewhere aesthetic because art hoe] Janis: [taps her head like good idea and now I'm thinking on it] Jimmy: ['I hadn't forgot I owed you one, babe, but you've still gotta help a new boy out on the actual where, soz' scrunches his face up like ugh I know, I'm the WORST] Janis: [squishing his squishy face always 'don't reckon even MY bathroom is big enough to host a decent party, sadly' #bathgateforever] Jimmy: [grins because that's given him an idea 'Alright but how badly do you want your REAL boyfriend's and biggest fan's attention? 'cause there's one place I've yet to get lost on my way to'] Janis: [the IRL equivalent of ? but excited with it like tell me bitch] Jimmy: ['how about we do it at school, my dear'] Janis: ['okay, that's a really fucking good idea' the biggest 😈 grin] Jimmy: [when you're buzzing because you thought she'd say no because of all the possible trouble you could get in, which we know is why you're doing it Jimothy the mood being fuck you Ian 5eva] Janis: [little do you know how ready she is to burn it all to the ground at any point lmao 'I'd kiss you if that weren't a punishment'] Jimmy: [irl 😘 'you know how Bill feels about lasses who doth protest'] Janis: [when we all know you meant it the other way 'round and the temptation to say as much is REAL but trumped by the desire to see this plan through/keep being 'friends' so you just smirk and hit him with a 'yeah, yeah' and move on with details 'I reckon most people will be dead up for it, long as they can run and deny all knowledge of the who and the how when shit hits the fan, like'] Jimmy: ['tonight then?' because the EGO of this boy who thinks he can pull this together and off in a few hours] Janis: ['why not' flicking the remains of her cigarette away with a flourish 'use how fast news travels 'round here to our advantage, as per' shrugs 'standard, really'] Jimmy: ['the dress code's black, that's the hill I'll die on' flips down imaginary 😎] Janis: ['fine by me' runs tongue across imaginary fangs like duh 'they can always fall back on their school uniform if they get stuck, bit cliche for my taste but they are so' a what can you do? shrug] Jimmy: ['pjs for you, girl, better hit the shops now if you're down to the emergency pink pair, like' shrugs back but 😏 as he looks at his actual real watch] Janis: [rolls her eyes at the suggestion and the implication she wears pink PJs, pushes him gently towards the door 'get back to work so we can get to work sooner, I'll catch you later'] Jimmy: [just looking at her because he does not want to gdi but then has to add an OTT pout because too real] Janis: [likewise so obviously has to be as OTT back 'parting is such sweet sorrow, yeah babe?'] Jimmy: [when you just hug her again like you did earlier before you can stop yourself like okay this is a thing we're doing with each other now bye] Janis: [just leaning into that like you're such a hugger usually sure] Jimmy: [we're just friends who casually hug yep] Janis: [so casual] Jimmy: [go back in and try not be distracted by your feelings and your big plans boy] Janis: are we taking credit or are we putting this out anon? Jimmy: Don't you want the 🏆? Janis: you just want a reunion with your 👮 pals, obvs Janis: I don't care, it'll out either way so may as well own it, I guess, if you're alright with that too Jimmy: You said you wanted to beat these dickheads at their own game, bit hard to do if they don't know we're playing Janis: can't cough without 10 people commenting on it 'round here anyway Janis: and who else would actually have such a 🔥💡 either Jimmy: There you go then Janis: 👍 Janis: no need to post yet, do it closer to the time it causes more hype/no time for it to get shut down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: You done this before? Janis: Party planning or breaking into the school? Jimmy: I already know you break into the school regularly for secret trysts with your 💕 Janis: no need when he's got the key 😍😍🤤 Jimmy: There's every need when he's 😍😍🤤 for danger Jimmy: unless his ultimate #kinkunlocked is your innocence Janis: Can only assume he 👂 to all those virgin rumours Jimmy: until I came about and he discovered he's all about that cuckold life Janis: all 👀 now Janis: from inside the wardrobe or whatever the fuck 😬😂 Jimmy: be loads of places he can 👀 tonight Janis: True Janis: loads of places to hide too, at least Jimmy: 👻 Jimmy: such an athlete, nowt you can do but run Janis: Not scared of you, like Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: first thing I learned about you is how 🙀 you are Janis: Well, no need to insult your intelligence rn Jimmy: #notthickjustnorthern Janis: 'course, hun 😘 Jimmy: ILY babes 💕 Jimmy: tah for keeping it so real with me there Janis: you know me, keep it 💯👌🙏 Jimmy: fave thing about you, that Janis: Awh Janis: so cute! 💖 Jimmy: you know me, never off Janis: OMG, that's like, totally in my top 3 favourite things about you Janis: so crazy Jimmy: 🤖 kink unlocked 🎟 please Janis: erm have you know none of my friends require batteries THANKS Jimmy: 'cause none of 'em are fwb obvs Janis: do you reckon this party is the time or place to announce that downgrade in relationship Janis: get it together 👏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: If you've got a 📢 to hand? Jimmy: well I were gonna say on Mr Lucas but now I'm fuming that you're doubting the size of my gob Jimmy: Asia would never Jimmy: she knows 📏 matters Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll make sure to spread that 'round then, if that's the new rep you want Jimmy: if you ain't got enough to do, I'll @ my manager about some shifts we've got going Jimmy: put a decent enough word in for you, mate Janis: I'll go in for the cliche getting the hot one to train me but then I'm getting sacked before any of the skeleton gang comes through Jimmy: I would but I'm forced to spend enough time with you as is Janis: 🙄 you and your big head can get out the way, tah Jimmy: it's proper sweet of you to fake failing eyesight for me but you still ain't 👵💕 soz Janis: I knew you'd end up going fully dellusional Janis: gonna take ages to deprogram you 🤖 Jimmy: just hit the kill switch Janis: don't 👻 or @ me 'til I've finished my trial shift, thank you Janis: RIP 🌹 Jimmy: Ugh Jimmy: so hard to please, you Jimmy: 🥀💔 Janis: just tryna save your lil ghostie 👀 and 🖤 Janis: 'less you're really the one who's into waiting in the cupboard 🤔 Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Will do Janis: got shit to get, PJs to cop Jimmy: RIP to my concentration Jimmy: such a distracting mental image, that Janis: was your request Janis: so entirely your fault Jimmy: you doing what you're told now? 🤤🤤😍 Janis: Depends Jimmy: ? Janis: just how pink the selection is Jimmy: duh, I should've worked that one out Janis: also if I can find any without the sassy slogans slapped all over Jimmy: #whenyou'retoobittertobejuicy Janis: 😱 Janis: how Janis: DARE Janis: you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: no matching set for you now Jimmy: 💔😭 Jimmy: Baby please Janis: You'll have to dress yourself now Janis: as a straight lad, we all know you're incapable Jimmy: come on, be nice to me Janis: Why? Janis: you're so mean to me Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: never Janis: and now you're gonna gaslight me Janis: so typical 👌 Jimmy: Truce? Janis: Hmm Janis: calling that suspiciously fast Jimmy: No kid wants to have a party where their mum and dad are scrapping in the back Janis: Alright Janis: though I did not agree to raise any child with you Jimmy: I'll chuck the bag of flour before I get there then Jimmy: ain't named it or owt Janis: awh it looks like you Janis: so sweet 😂 Jimmy: might have to call him Jamie Janis: insensitive tbh Jimmy: don't sound like me at all Jimmy: is this gonna be the shortest truce EVER or what? Janis: if you're happy for me to be wistfully thinking about Jamie all the time Janis: then crack on, no arguments here Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Oh Jamie Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: wish the school had a balcony Janis: fuck knows where I'm lamenting from Jimmy: get on the roof, girl Janis: 💀 pact request or? Janis: either way 👍 Jimmy: You still taking on board my requests or? Jimmy: #didwepeakwithpjs? Janis: wishing you used your wishes more wisely now? Jimmy: Is that a trick question? Jimmy: there's nowt wiser Jimmy: get you some slippers and we're near to 💕👵 Janis: 🖕 Dickhead Janis: the idea is to make everyone else 😩 not you Jimmy: we do Jimmy: nowt I can do about your face Jimmy: or your body Janis: devastating news Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it Jimmy: old news Janis: let me mourn, god Jimmy: crack on Janis: [later] Janis: you out yet Jimmy: What do you need a hand to carry now? Janis: rude Janis: I'm bored Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: where are you? Janis: [a random location in town] Janis: been reminded why I hate shopping Jimmy: you don't wanna take #goals selfies with me then? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: obviously Janis: gotta get something out of it Jimmy: meet me at [somewhere they can be goals af] Jimmy: 🤞 I don't get lost Janis: Come on Janis: you must know your way a bit by now Janis: not that far Jimmy: yeah go there all the time, me Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: I'll start walking Janis: don't wanna make another poster Jimmy: but you LOVED the first one I done Janis: you're very talented Jimmy: 🙄🖕 Janis: Take a compliment, boy Jimmy: Give one that ain't a pisstake, girl Janis: Ugh Janis: that might be a challenge too far Jimmy: then like I said 🙄🖕 Jimmy: and you shut up, trying to get my bearings here Janis: you're adorable when you're lost Janis: that's sincere Jimmy: Where the fuck? Jimmy: this town is some bollocks Jimmy: can't find nowt Janis: See, precious Janis: did you live in a town before or like down a mine or whatever the fuck Jimmy: canary in a little cage, me Jimmy: just a lad and his 🎻 Jimmy: just the one 🥧 crust to ration out Janis: 💔 Janis: we get it, you can act alright 😏 Janis: the sob story ain't gonna save you now Jimmy: Are you gonna? Janis: don't I always? Jimmy: 💪🏆 you Janis: Tweet it so I know it's real Jimmy: [cue dramatic and 💕 tweet about how she's his saviour etc] Janis: coming for your 🥇 pisstaker 👑 with that one Janis: fairplay Jimmy: well I actually need you, bit real that Jimmy: if I said it I'd have to 💀💀💀 or worse, delete Janis: 🤐 Janis: I'll never tell, don't worry Jimmy: using you like a sat nav ain't very #goals Jimmy: reckon the secret's safe Janis: you mean your lack of direction isn't Janis: how unmanly of you Jimmy: it's a crap shag rumour waiting to happen Jimmy: Asia would dump me and my life would be OVER Janis: Nah, blind loyalty is their only redeeming quality Janis: 💀👑 ain't even tried to fuck them and they still stick around Jimmy: In fairness she'd probably ⚰ if she did have a go Janis: says you Jimmy: what are you saying? Janis: your stamina ain't braggable with those lungs Jimmy: HOW DARE YOU Janis: whoops Janis: 🙊 Jimmy: could run rings around you, smoke and actual Janis: there's fake and then there's madness Jimmy: there's 🙀 and then there's you Jimmy: sort it out Janis: Who's scared? Janis: Literally any time you wanna have an asthma attack, babe Janis: I'm ready Jimmy: yeah right Jimmy: all chat, you Jimmy: ain't even found me Janis: Bullshit Jimmy: ❌ marks the northern lad Jimmy: get a move on Janis: shut up then Jimmy: If you need a hand that desperately I'll send you 🚬☁ signals Janis: [showing up like hilarious] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna jump into her arms like a damsel in distress but obvs does not] Janis: [puts her arms straight down at her side like won't catch you boy] Jimmy: [does a pouty face and puts his hand out like hold it or I'll get lost again] Janis: [🙄 but does it, obvs] Jimmy: [deliberately goes the wrong way because nerd] Janis: [swinging him 'round like nope] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['can you drive?'] Jimmy: ['Are we stealing a car before or after the break in?' because he can but he can't answer a q] Janis: [shrugs 'I can take the speakers from home without it being suspicious but if I ask to drop 'em off at the school, like' gestures like you see my point 'someone will pick us up for a crate, no big'] Jimmy: ['I could take my dad's car but I dunno if they'll fit' shrugs 'be gutted he didn't get that very important memo about how much size matters'] Janis: ['yeah?' bites lip whilst thinking, tapping foot up and down 'should fit, just put the backseats down'] Jimmy: [when she looks so good biting her lip that you nearly lose yourself in the music AND the moment 'Alright' because he knows he's gonna get in trouble for this anyway and that's the whole point, in for a penny in for a pound] Janis: ['first stop yours then? whilst he's still at work' when you're looking like are you sure but you aren't going to ask] Jimmy: [typical that he lives right by the school and she lives 42 years away lol 'owt else we need from here?' gestures around vaguely with a 😒 face like ugh shops and people gross] Janis: ['better get that crate still, party'll supply itself but I still want some shit for us'] Jimmy: [nods and gives her a look like better get several cos can't resist calling her a pisshead] Janis: [pushes him lightly 'oh, and how many packs do you need to get through, Mr. Buzzkill?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic idk there's no way to know gesture 'such a lad, me, with SUCH good stamina] Janis: [😏 'come on then' and dragging him towards the shop like let's hurry it up] Jimmy: ['get ready for your close up and we can do the photo shoot in the car'] Janis: ['born ready- with this face, and this body' 'cos we ain't forgotten] Jimmy: [trying not to 😳 so hard rn] Janis: [knows and is buzzing about that payback] Jimmy: [lowkey nearly pushing her into some women having a chat in the way of everyone cos that playful shove] Janis: [unrepentantly not soz at those women but 😒 at him] Jimmy: [😏 to hide that he is soz cos didn't mean to do it that hard] Janis: [shoving all the booze at him like go get this but giving him the cash too 'cos not that mad] Jimmy: [does because whipped] Janis: I'm off out 'fore I get lynched Janis: you can find your way back from the tills without me, yeah Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: Adorable Jimmy: Shh Janis: Stop being so damn cute Janis: never getting served with that baby face Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: You're too young and I'm too 😎 Janis: Spoilsport Jimmy: few drinks in me and you'll be 🍑📞 Jimmy: hang on in there, baby Janis: yeah Janis: gonna look top in my pjs Janis: who could resist Jimmy: have to be a 💪🏆 lad than me and there ain't none about Janis: Tah for being so real about my chances, like Jimmy: what are mates for? Janis: gonna hold my hair back too? Jimmy: yeah Janis: looking for a promotion to bezzies forever Jimmy: it's just always in my fucking way Janis: ? Jimmy: your hair Janis: oh Janis: fair Janis: if you didn't always go for the neck, would be less of an issue Jimmy: Alright, I can take a hint Jimmy: tonight I'll kiss you somewhere else Janis: [not answering 'cos 😳] Jimmy: [when you think she's not answering because she's like GOD NO levels of horrified] Janis: [ah miscommunication, least she is literally outside so we don't need to angst] Jimmy: [coming out cos job done, take a sec to impress her with how strong you are carrying all that shit] Janis: [lil clap and feeling his biceps like Prue] Jimmy: [🙄 but loves it] Janis: ['back to yours now?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you proper miss her' shout out to Twix] Janis: [nods like 'course 'and we need to get changed to meet your self-imposed dresscode; good as you look'] Jimmy: [looks down and shrugs cos it's probably black tbh but we know you ain't going like that boy] Janis: ['and you have a car to steal' like need I remind you of the plan] Jimmy: ['ain't really stealing if you just grab the keys of the hook, but alright' keeping this so casual] Janis: ['trust you to wanna make it legal and boring' 👮 ref 'still not got insurance or a license, even if you are 45'] Jimmy: [a look like OI so offended 'loads of ways we can make the drive less boring, if you wanna get involved, Jill' stop making it so sexual thank you we all know that's what you mean] Janis: ['Obviously' a LOOK for good measure 'cos we all know what you mean 'not gonna make you do it alone, not very friendly' taking some of the supplies like see] Jimmy: [such a LOOK back] Janis: [don't drop your shopping lads] Jimmy: [that'd be awks, at least they don't have that far to go for this leg of the journey cos he doesn't live in the middle of nowhere] Janis: [shoutout ian for that one thing and one thing only] Jimmy: [when you gesture for her to light you a 🚬 for this one time only because your hands are full af] Janis: [thrilled about the novelty of that tbh] Jimmy: [don't think about how she'd have to get it out of his pocket and put it in his mouth and all that jazz #accidentalhotness] Janis: [its a mood and a moment and we're just trying to get home without dying here, also gonna have one herself 'cos duh] Jimmy: [so much eye contact goodbye] Janis: ['you're fully aware how much shit we're gonna get in, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a dramatic OTT gasp like it only just occurred to him just then] Janis: [nudges him like but really though] Jimmy: [looks down at all the shit he's carrying 'bit late for you to back out, but if you're gonna, go on, we can still half this'] Janis: [shakes her head 'nah, I know, I'm making sure you do, so we're good then'] Jimmy: ['not thick, just northern'] Janis: ['alright, hail of bullets it is then, babe'] Jimmy: ['that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me' cos have to lighten the mood when you know it'll be BAD when Ian finds out about any of this and like you want that but you also don't] Janis: [😏 'yeah, yeah'] Jimmy: [strutting along but in non-awkward silence for a bit] Janis: [living laughing loving like you're not about to get in so much trouble lolollol] Jimmy: [do we wanna skip to his gaff so no other moments happen along the way lol?] Janis: [probably, let's not get carried away yet when there's a whole night ahead] Jimmy: [you're still sober rn lads give it time] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [when he'd have to check in with Cass and Bobby before he can even do anything else remotely, making them cups of tea and food and all kinds of bollocks, you better have walked that dog while he was at work kids we don't have time] Janis: [forever awkwardly there like hello] Jimmy: [like excuse him while he has a little argument with his sister cos she's had bobby all day and he's only just got back and he's basically gonna go straight back out] Janis: [soz girl, just going outside so they can do this in private like you're gonna smoke but you definitely ain't] Jimmy: [he's right back to being stressed because what a day we're having Jimothy, trying to do everything you gotta do with a clingy little bro in your face rn] Janis: [the joys of being an unwilling parent to your siblings truly] Jimmy: [I like to imagine he's forced them on the trampoline like let's all calm down] Janis: need me to do anything? Jimmy: 💀💀💀 us Janis: us in the singular or us as in me and you or us as in you want me to family anihilate Janis: the important questions save from awkward misunderstandings later Jimmy: right now I ain't that fussy, babe Jimmy: suit yourself Janis: Generous to a fault Janis: it's impressive Janis: I'll put the drink in the car Jimmy: 💕 Janis: set up the hose and all Janis: whenever you're ready, babe Jimmy: I read that you meant for a 🚿 Jimmy: about to bring up that rich v poor divide again there Janis: as much as the neighbours would be 👀 behind their curtains Jimmy: 👵💕👴 Jimmy: proper cheered me and Doris an' all, tah Jules Janis: any time Jimmy: you can use our actual 🚿 if you need though Jimmy: sight of you would 💀💀💀 her off Janis: Cheers Janis: couldn't hurt, even if there's no decent lads to pull 💔 Jimmy: that screenshot is being @ed to Mr Lucas Jimmy: such a heartbreaker you Janis: s'alright, just tell him he's a man not a lad Janis: answer for everything me 😇 Jimmy: get out of my bathroom actually I've gotta 🤢🤢 Janis: so jealous, so immature Janis: 😂 Jimmy: 🖕 Jimmy: how mature's that? 😘 Janis: SO impressive Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: you know it Janis: of course Janis: I am getting in now though so if you're actually gonna come in, bring your 📷 or don't, like Jimmy: that ain't fair, I already know what an exhibitionist you are, gimme a new kink to unlock Janis: I'm not making it any easier for you Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: not even 🥉 behaviour, that Janis: sort it out Jimmy: Alright, dickhead, appreciate the shot's fired but I still ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: Shame Janis: and no 🎟 for that one either, I know Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: there's your 🚿🎵 Janis: Tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [after a suitable shower time] Janis: your turn Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [awkward meetcute on the landing] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [also she'll either be in a towel or in what she's wearing so either way we can assume 😍] Jimmy: [we all know what you'll be doing in that shower boy] Janis: [oohlala] Jimmy: [at least Ian ain't there to lament his water bill] Janis: [gonna have bigger problems soon soz not soz dickhead] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [meanwhile not lowkey knowing where to put yourself rn, 'cos you don't wanna get up in the kids grill but also feels presumptuous just being in his room but ultimately where you're gonna be 'cos can style that out better] Jimmy: [bowl in with your towel on to make this more awkward] Janis: [just like um ah sorry run lmao] Jimmy: [put your clothes on and go find her sir] Janis: [just chilling by the car probably] Jimmy: [open the door for her thank you] Janis: [tipping your imaginary hat] Jimmy: [illegal driving time, don't die please] Janis: [to her house, which whilst so much faster in a car, still forever lol] Jimmy: [put your easter rising playlist on kids] Janis: [soundtrack to your love tbh] Jimmy: [and don't forget to stop somewhere in the middle of nowhere for your photoshoot moment] Janis: [so important, vital, some would say, ie yous two] Jimmy: [it's been an age by your standards cos he didn't post the bench moment the fans need #content 👌] Janis: [when that was too #personal we all know it] Jimmy: [whenever her actual name gets used it's too personal that's the tea] Janis: [no pretending then] Jimmy: [lbr there's barely any even this early on] Janis: [when you're just bad at this but that works in favour of being believed 'cos it's real lmao] Jimmy: [imagine if it was all fake like alright well bye] Janis: [you thought lads] Jimmy: [they'd have to be 🤖] Janis: [and you ain't, despite efforts bitch] Jimmy: [just like imma spend all this time with you and chat with you always but idc tho] Janis: [so realistic, the facts are if you actually intended to fake date you would have to do so little to make it seem legit, you don't need to really date lol] Jimmy: [literally could have do what Buster did for like 3 years and made someone up, he could've easily pretended he'd left someone up north but no] Janis: [like we know these girls are pushy but come on lol] Jimmy: [he's perfectly capable of being an antisocial dickhead and getting them to lose interest] Janis: [mhmm lmao, we see you, idk why we're shading as if this isn't out plan, like admit you fancied each other!!!1] Jimmy: [when it's a bestselling book/netflix show peeps gonna be shouting] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do we wanna do a skip or have you got anything you wanna do on this drive while they bonnie and clyde 39ing it] Janis: [hmmmmm, part of me wants to do it but maybe we should skip idk] Jimmy: [if you wanna do it gal we shall 😘] Janis: [tings could happen as they do] Jimmy: [thank god he needs to keep his eyes on the road because I can only imagine how 🔥 she looks rn] Janis: [I need to find pics but defs a lewk, totally for your benefit whether we're admitting that or obvs not, boy] Jimmy: [I'm being cockblocked as standard but he'd be serving a lewk also in the effortless way he do] Janis: [we're all 😍 up in here but still, conversation lmao 'did your dad teach you to drive?'] Jimmy: [such a bitter laugh because Ian would never 'I get it, the deathwish is a strong one, but let's get the party over and done with first, yeah?' because you know Ian would be a crap driver all that road rage] Janis: [obvs senses that's a no-go topic area and nods 'works for me, not a very cool way to die, 'less we're driving off a cliff' ha ha mems bye] Jimmy: ['controlling carpet salesman is more your type than the easy-going musician which is awkward' cos the musician's name is Jimmy I lol 'and you love a flirtatious stranger an' all'] Janis: [lols 'well, what a drag, not even gonna counter it because would LOVE a new carpet right about now'] Jimmy: [looks down at the floor of the car like understandable 'if you could keep your legs closed for a bit so all my savings don't get nicked by some obvs irresistible dickhead, I'd love that though'] Janis: ['I make no promises' 😏] Jimmy: [shakes his head like ugh what am I gonna do with you] Janis: ['am I the hot one or nah though?'] Jimmy: ['Your shit taste is well documented' like you tell me] Janis: [shrugs like boy idk 'not got it memorized' 'cos lowkey has no clue] Jimmy: [shrugs back like neither do I as if he didn't just drop all that plot on her] Janis: [🙄 'well now I'll never know just how much of a drag it was'] Jimmy: ['I'm the hot one, you should know that'] Janis: [offended noises] Jimmy: [poke her like excuse you but keep 👀 on the road so god knows where that hand is gonna land] Janis: [flapping his hand away like get off 'I am not willing to say you're the hot one, thank you'] Jimmy: ['what are you willing to say then?' why you gotta be so flirty boyy] Janis: [raises her hand like she's swearing in court ['the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God'] Jimmy: ['sleepover was the other night, mate'] Janis: ['they weren't having no game of truth or dare with us' face like I wonder why lmao] Jimmy: ['gonna need you to take one for the team and express my heartbreak' cos he can't do 💔 hands while driving] Janis: [does 'though you're the only one not playing nice right now so, think on'] Jimmy: [risking a look at her like ?] Janis: ['we could play right now' like duh] Jimmy: ['what dares can I do with both hands on the wheel?'] Janis: [snorts 'don't tempt me' but shakes her head 'called TRUTH OR dare, just pick truth, and I gave you the chance to ask me first anyway'] Jimmy: ['I can't be pulling over every time you want me to do something' and a LOOK soz drivers 'but alright' cos can't turn down a challenge ever] Janis: ['you can keep your hands where I can see 'em at all times, promise' returning that LOOK but being 😳 by the time he's turned 'round 'go on then, ask me something interesting'] Jimmy: ['Nah, lasses first, gimme a dare, if you can think of owt'] Janis: [a sigh like fgs boy 'no, alright, let me think then' humming and tapping your lip to show how hard you're thinking about this 'alright, truthfully, if you HAD to bang one of the flat whites, who would you pick?] Jimmy: ['your sister' because honestly Grace is the least annoying not just cos Janis is not gonna be happy about it though that's a bonus] Janis: [retches 'shut up and pick someone else'] Jimmy: ['Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it'] Janis: ['it's not the truth, you're a dick'] Jimmy: ['Yeah it is'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [nudges her like cheer up] Janis: [just shifting your body out of reach like no] Jimmy: ['Stop being a dickhead'] Janis: ['You first'] Jimmy: ['It were your question, I'd be a dickhead if I never answered'] Janis: ['we're not playing anymore'] Jimmy: [sighs but doesn't say anything] Janis: [turning up the music] Jimmy: [awkwardly driving] Janis: [getting herself a drink from the back probably very inelegantly climbing over all the shit, which is a bit rude but here we are] Jimmy: [a long enough pause that he easily could have dropped the topic but has not 'who did you want me to fuck'] Janis: ['Literally anyone but my sister, it's not hard'] Jimmy: ['would be' because ew imagine any of them and him] Janis: ['forget it'] Jimmy: ['You first'] Janis: ['fuck off, I don't have to do anything'[ Jimmy: ['I don't have to fuck your sister, it were just a game'] Janis: ['go for it, it's such an easy choice, like'] Jimmy: ['shut up, I don't wanna go for it'] Janis: ['whatever'] Jimmy: [is just looking at her like what the fuck are we doing this for if I was just gonna get with any of them, don't crash please] Janis: ['stop looking at me and focus'] Jimmy: [dramatically but safely thank you pulls over so he can just stare her out because that bitch] Janis: ['what are you doing?'] Jimmy: ['What are you doing?' so annoying] Janis: [the exasperation just like bitch, getting out 'I'm walking'] Jimmy: [obviously also gets out 'you're being a massive twat'] Janis: ['then get back in your car and leave me alone'] Jimmy: ['no'] Janis: ['well I'm not getting back in'] Jimmy: ['Well it's getting left here then, wherever the fuck here is'] Janis: ['Don't be ridiculous'] Jimmy: ['you'] Janis: ['I've not done anything wrong, I want to walk, go away' pushing him in the general direction of the car] Jimmy: [gets back in the car like fine but it's not fine] Janis: [just sitting on the side of the road fuming 'cos you've not even got the speakers yet] Jimmy: [when you can't even have a drink #gutted] Janis: go to my house Janis: I'll tell my brother you're coming to pick the gear up Jimmy: I'm not going without you Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: get in Janis: don't look at me don't talk to me Janis: alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [gets in and slams the door] Jimmy: [well this is fun kids, but hey at least we're moving again] Janis: [dramatically looking out this window] Jimmy: [turns the music up even more] Janis: [turns it down 'cos petty] Jimmy: [is so 😒 but leaves it] Janis: [get these speakers quick] Jimmy: [imagine the weird vibe when they do, oooh someone's had a domestic] Janis: [also gotta hope said sibling doesn't dob you in 'cos Jimmy is not old enough to be driving we all know this] Jimmy: [also hope Grace isn't home cos AWKWARD] Janis: [safe to say you will not be coming to this soiree anyway] Jimmy: [thank goodness none of them are for a multitude of reasons] Janis: [just both dying to be out this car now, on your phone giving people details so at least you've got an excuse/something to do] Jimmy: [what a hilarious drive back that would be] Janis: ['everyone's coming'] Jimmy: [nods in recognition of her saying that but we all know he's not bothered rn] Janis: [what if she invited Pete though] Jimmy: [BITCH OMG DO IT] Janis: [dragging you into this soz boy] Jimmy: [because they haven't been coupley af at his work yet or anything and neither of them has really interacted with him so it makes it more blatant] Janis: [gotta be done] Jimmy: [I am living] Janis: [we can probably skip now we aren't getting past this lol] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, like all he's gonna do is get back dump the shit then take the car back and check the kids are okay and then walk back to the school all in a moody silence so] Janis: [we know the vibe, blatantly taking advantage of how fast this party is gonna get out of control to avoid each other] Jimmy: [raid Ian's stash while you're there boy because stronger stuff that's so needed] Janis: [sudden life and soul like excuse me whilst I talk to everyone and accept all the drinks etc] Jimmy: [the fakest she's ever been] Janis: [hostess with the mostest] Jimmy: [we all know that's a fuck you too cos he called her a shit host] Janis: [getting turnt, locating Pete] Jimmy: [he's straight up gonna drag her away from that boy, soz pete] Janis: [he's gonna be so confused like hello? meanwhile 'well, that was rude'] Jimmy: [having to style it out to everyone like I just really miss her excuse me 'rude is right, what did you invite him for?'] Janis: [shrugs 'cos he's cool?'] Jimmy: ['how the fuck would you know?'] Janis: ['I talked to him' that was barely an exchange but pop-off 'anyway, there are so many people here, what does it matter?'] Jimmy: [😒 af but you can pretend it goes with what you're about to say 'my manager gonna turn up in a bit an' all or what?'] Janis: ['if he's cool too, maybe'] Jimmy: [walking away but giving her a look like you're such a dick] Janis: ['great talk' shouted after him] Jimmy: ['if you were cool, might've been' shouted back because so mature] Janis: [💔] Jimmy: ['Open with that, next lad you have a great talk with'] Janis: ['Thanks for the suggestion' and walking away to get fully lost in this crowd] Jimmy: [likewise walking off to somewhere he can be on his own or as close to that as we're getting in this chaos] Janis: [least there is an abudance of classrooms, they can't all be full yet] Jimmy: [get drunker because what could go wrong there] Janis: [oh lord, the only way is down] Jimmy: [I've just had the MOST EVIL thought because Pete also smokes do you see where I'm going with this] Janis: [I think I do you lil shrew] Jimmy: [not actually a MOMENT but when you're jealous af everything's a moment] Janis: [is nothing sacred] Jimmy: [how dare you smoke with other hot baristas] Janis: [you don't even smoke lol] Jimmy: [so yeah do you wanna do that? 😈] Janis: [why not, we're out here fucking everything up now] Jimmy: [when you're straight up just gonna try and leave this party boy please I'm not allowing that] Janis: [when you don't even get why he's just immediately turned around so offended so you think it's purely 'cos he doesn't want to see you rn so you go off into the main hall again like okay] Janis: go smoke, I've moved now Jimmy: go where you like Jimmy: I'm going home Janis: erm why Jimmy: 1. you heard me before, fuck who you want but don't make me look a twat Jimmy: 2. I don't need to be here Jimmy: 3. I don't wanna be here Janis: 1. I've not fucked anyone Janis: 2. so you're gonna leave me to get in trouble when that's the entire point of this whole thing to you, apparently Janis: 3. see 2 Jimmy: I've got no shortage of shit I can do to get in trouble Jimmy: You can have this one Janis: Bullshit am I taking the fall for you now Jimmy: bat your eyelashes and tell it were all my idea Jimmy: nowt even fake in that Janis: fuck off with that too Janis: you're being so stupid Jimmy: yeah proper smart move to be all over my co-workers Janis: Hardly Janis: I was talking to him, not a crime Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I have to see him every day at the same place those bitches go every day Janis: So Janis: I thought you might like someone here you actually know Jimmy: So it ain't very goals when your girlfriend is a massive slag Janis: I already told you Janis: I was talking to him, fuck all else Jimmy: And who else 👀 that? Janis: I've talked to plenty of people here Janis: and the reason I'm not talking to you is your fault so you can't put that on me Jimmy: Get in a darker corner and get a bit closer, sure we can still spin that so it's my fault somehow Janis: Jesus, I'm not an idiot and I'm not trying to fuck him Jimmy: we're surrounded by idiots, stick to the fucking script or exit stage left Janis: I'm making best of the situation Janis: but fine, let's both leave, this whole exercise has been fucking pointless Jimmy: Me an' all, this ain't happening to me again Jimmy: I loved her, I don't even like you Janis: What are you talking about Jimmy: leave it out Janis: You said it Janis: typed it Jimmy: I can't hypothetically fuck your sister with a gun to my head, you can't actually fuck anyone I know Janis: We were having a cigarette, that's what you 👀 Janis: if that pisses you off then you can see why you pissed me off Janis: that's that Jimmy: I never said I couldn't see why you were pissed off Jimmy: not blind Janis: Yes you did Janis: you still don't even get it now, so fuck that Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: but I'm never going near your sister Janis: then you don't Jimmy: I didn't invite her here to piss you off Janis: You didn't have to pick her Jimmy: You wanted honest Janis: Yeah, and if you can't see she's the worst Janis: then I don't want to be your friend and you don't get it Jimmy: I picked her 'cause she's barely spoken to me Jimmy: she's never barged in on me in the bathroom or awkwardly flirted with me Jimmy: there's nowt else to it Janis: I'm over this Jimmy: come on Jimmy: I don't like anyone, least of all any of them Janis: Fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: Sure Janis: it just proves how stupid this is Janis: you don't know me, I don't know you, we've got nothing in common Jimmy: that were the point Jimmy: you can't fake owt with someone who knows you Janis: that ain't the point in being friends Janis: to think we could do both was the mistake Janis: so let's drop it Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: but this party were a good idea Jimmy: is Janis: I hope so Jimmy: just stay Janis: whatever Janis: I had and ave reasons to be here too, I never said I didn't Jimmy: yeah Janis: enjoy your party, Jimmy Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Make it a lot later okay Jimmy: suits me Janis: when are you going to be done with this? Jimmy: When are you? Janis: I'm fine now, no one thinks I'm gay Janis: but I'll hold up my end of the deal Janis: so get to your end point and tell me Jimmy: Lasses are gonna fancy me however long this goes on, soon as we end it I'll be back at square one Jimmy: might as well do it now if that's what you want Janis: So what was your plan Janis: do it 'til you found a real girlfriend, what? Jimmy: how do you expect me to plan for that level of crazy? Jimmy: I'll be gone soon Jimmy: be a new boy somewhere else Janis: You'll forgive me for not having much sympathy Janis: only been dealing with it forever Janis: and when is that gonna be, exactly Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ my dad and ask him Jimmy: doubt he'll mind Janis: I don't think either of us knew how long we were signing up for Janis: that's the point, yeah? Jimmy: don't worry about it, this party'll get me one foot out Janis: Good Jimmy: steady on, we ain't gotta have nowt in common Janis: You aren't funny Janis: so no danger Jimmy: ain't gotta be that either, have I? Jimmy: trying to repel the lasses not the other way round Janis: you aren't that special, you know Jimmy: it's not me saying I am Janis: no Jimmy: just trying to keep my head down Jimmy: it ain't my fault they like the look of it Janis: you've really fucked everything up Janis: but maybe that ain't your fault Jimmy: I have got form, probably is Janis: You love moping Janis: have it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you lie Jimmy: What? Janis: I ust wanna know what the point of saying you wanted to be my friend was Jimmy: I weren't lying Janis: You clearly didn't want to be my friend Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: Come on Jimmy: you Janis: You'd give a shit now if you did Jimmy: I do give a shit now Janis: about how you look Jimmy: stop chatting shit Janis: I heard you the first time Janis: none of this is remotely about me Jimmy: everything I do is about you Janis: You don't need to chat shit just 'cos you reckon I am Jimmy: you're my first thought in all this bollocks Janis: Yeah, and you hate me for it Janis: it isn't my fault they won't leave you alone either, alright Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I know that, not fucking braindead Janis: then don't treat me like I am Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't need to go on about what today's been like, you've been about for most of it Janis: Yeah, alright Janis: I'm sorry for inviting your coworker Jimmy: Alright Janis: Actual truce then Jimmy: might last a fucking minute this time, like Janis: don't get carried away Jimmy: weren't promising nowt Janis: just warn me next time you're gonna have a meltdown and we'll be fine Jimmy: you were the one who stropped out of the car, babe Jimmy: didn't get a single 📷 Janis: and you're the one who wouldn't go to my house alone so Janis: we'll have to have a truce Janis: and I'm in no state now Janis: the evidence of this party will speak for itself Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: #whentheonlycrimecommitedisthelackofselfiesinthatoutfit Janis: Shut up 😏 Jimmy: at least come here so I can 😍😍🤤 over it Janis: tell me where you are then Jimmy: 🎨 room #duh Janis: 'course you are Janis: see if I remember where it is, get lost for once instead of you Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: bathroom Janis: where else do girls go to 😭 Jimmy: [draws her an adorable quick little map] Janis: Cheers, nerd Jimmy: now you can always find me when we're stuck here 💕 Janis: Cute Janis: fucking weird being here at night Janis: not that I think we will be much longer now Jimmy: do my 🥇 work at night, me Jimmy: I'll show you Janis: I'm not gonna grade you Janis: given how tense things are already, risky game Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me it's top marks Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: Colour me unsurprised that you're class show-off Jimmy: don't say a word, me Jimmy: there's no need Janis: oh God Janis: you're insufferable 😂 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: shh Janis: or I'm purposely getting so lost Jimmy: have to find you for once Janis: I'm good at hiding Jimmy: I'm good at 👀 Janis: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: 😱 Jimmy: told you I weren't blind Janis: I stopped listening after you said you wanted to bang my sister Janis: which speaks to the contrary 🤷 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: you would've heard me say sorry if you were bothered Janis: I'm bothered Jimmy: so what you just want another one? Janis: Maybe Jimmy: gonna have to do something for it since you ain't listening to nowt I've said Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Janis: Now I know why you wanted a dare Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: I'll do owt you want so you know how sorry I am Janis: Don't say that Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's been one of those days Janis: and I'm too drunk to be sensible Jimmy: that's why you should let me make it up to you Jimmy: or it'll keep on being shit Janis: okay Janis: but you do what you think Janis: I'm not telling you to do anything Jimmy: just for tonight or ever again? Janis: like I tell you what to do all the time Jimmy: I'm just saying, might be a dealbreaker Janis: Oh right Janis: it's a kink, I forgot Jimmy: taking your 🎟🎟 off you Janis: 😣 Janis: I'll tell you what to do Jimmy: go on Janis: come out and find me instead Janis: I can't be just me and you right now Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: how far did you get? Janis: corridor Janis: don't call me scared Jimmy: [appears like the 👻 he is] Janis: [such an intense LOOK in every sense 'cos what a time we're all confused and frustrated] Jimmy: [giving her those 😍 he said he would and MORE lbr] Janis: [when I'm like you're staying still girl I don't trust you lol] Jimmy: [when I'm like who's around that you can use as an excuse to do what you really want lol] Janis: [there'd be people and that was my shameless vibe 'cos no going back if it happened when you were alone] Jimmy: [just really intensely kiss her in between saying how sorry you are then boy, I insist] Janis: [so about it there's no denying] Jimmy: [thank god they can forget because drunk if we need them to because DAMN] Janis: [god damn x3] Jimmy: [also thank god he's wearing more clothes than her because once again she's basically in the same boat as on school trip and they're just dry humping all over everything so casually] Janis: [put some more clothes on hoe lol but never do and seriously, this is enough of a show without how bad you wanna go further] Jimmy: [a hoe never gets cold especially in April] Janis: [it's basically Summer lmao] Jimmy: [they should go back to the art room at some point if they can ever find chill for a paint fight cos they wearing black it'd be 🎨] Janis: [that's a good idea] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think how they can lowkey trash the place and that seemed an obvious one] Janis: [I am down, if they ever stop lol] Jimmy: [which they won't for an age if ever lol] Janis: [how are we stopping y'all ahh] Jimmy: [someone could always basically fall on them cos drunk chaos] Janis: [that would work, break the spell casually] Jimmy: [especially if it's a heavy lad even you two can't just ignore that] Janis: [just 😒 but not at him so improvement lol] Jimmy: [don't fight him Jimothy just go have your paint fight and live your best life] Janis: [we all know you were very in the way lol] Jimmy: [as standard, so go handhold your way back to the art room as is also your standard] Janis: [being like 'which is yours?' like a parent coming to see your work on parents evening] Jimmy: [getting shy like] Janis: [squish.that.face 'go on' nudges him] Jimmy: [the most exasperated sigh ever like she is a parent suddenly lol] Janis: [walks around looking at the work herself like okay, okay, 'I'll work it out'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she's checking out the 🎨] Janis: [when he's done enough doodles that you could pick them out but probably not 📷 'did I find them all?'] Jimmy: [just taking her to all the ones she didn't but he can't look at them because he's awks] Janis: [just approving like get it boy but silently and low-key 'cos not that bitch, turning round 'where do you sit then?' and sitting on his desk when he tells her] Jimmy: [sits on his chair so they're accidentally really close to each other] Janis: ['this is how porn starts' saying what we're all thinking] Jimmy: [loling] Janis: [😏 but tension] Jimmy: [😏 back forever] Janis: ['teach me then'] Jimmy: [gets out art supplies like a nerd] Janis: [buzzing like show me how to art] Jimmy: [what's a art thing he could teach her how to do? hmmmm] Janis: [thank god she's got some skillz even if drunk, don't wanna be tragically shit] Jimmy: [imagine, they'd be arguing again like immediately] Janis: [we don't need that tah] Jimmy: [christ knows what he's teaching her but it's a moment] Janis: [obviously gonna involve paint and obviously gonna splodge a bit on his cute concentration face to start this paint war] Jimmy: [get her back on her 😏 face because she would be and we all know] Janis: [I wish pinterest would come through for this but I already know lol] Jimmy: [I will look but they won't even serve me an outfit for him so probably not gonna happen] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [on the one hand I want other peeps to show up so they can attack them but on the other I don't because just jj things] Janis: [we probably should to avoid another Moment TM] Jimmy: [yeah at least when there's at least a couple of other people around we can pretend it's fake, there's no going back otherwise] Janis: [we can feel it coming lads] Jimmy: [so can they and that's the tea] Janis: [mhmm mhmm] Jimmy: [you deserve this carefree paint fight and ensuing makeout lads, shit is gonna hit the fan soon enough] Janis: [what kind of fallout should we do?] Jimmy: [that's a good question cos we know Ian is gonna 🥊 but yeah we need to decide how hard to go with everyone else] Janis: [like assuming the police get called to shut this down, I reckon you'd just get a warning/or maybe a community service vibe, that could be fun to do actually] Jimmy: [LIKE IN STEP UP but obvs not at all because they ain't cleaning no dance school but yass I like that idea] Janis: ['cos then even if Ian is like can't see that girl again they still will 'cos gotta go do this lol] Jimmy: [exactly and school will have to start eventually so you can't stop him then even if they get put in isolation or whatever they'll still find a way] Janis: [the rom and jules of it all] Jimmy: [you'll enjoy that both of yous] Janis: [not that you'll enjoy being separated the rest of the time 'cos so highkey heheheh] Jimmy: [though I'll enjoy not having to think of ways to cockblock you all the time] Janis: [just parents being parents 'cos you broke into and trashed your school lol] Jimmy: [this'll be a good reason for cali/the fam not to like him cos that was the vibe for why she had to invite him round to dinner remember when] Jimmy: [even though they would've totally done this when they were younger bye] Janis: [exactly yo, and likewise doesn't listen to them anyway so it's as much of a cockblock and not as we need so] Jimmy: [is there anything else you wanna do/have them say to each other before we 👮🚓?] Janis: [hmmm we've covered a lot of emotional ground I feel so we're probs good?] Jimmy: [I'm good with that]

[multifandom-heaven-blog]

Normal Life: 90% of boys kinda suck. They're mediocre af, uninspiring, and not even cute.

The KPop life: I beg to differ ;) Let me introduce our mochi and muscle men painted in glitter that we trained and sculpted into perfection. They can sing, dance, rap, act, and grind on the floor just for you. That'll make you so frustrated you'll be broke, but that's how it works. Mind this, all these charming boys may be ripped but they're still super adorable. Totally out of everybody else's lame league, pure art and philosophy, with better humor and thrusting technique. PS: Once you've seen them on snow app, you'll never go back tbh. PS II: Here, have some fanfiction about them as well, it's great.

[njawaidofficial]

27 Photos From The '98 Oscars That'll Make You Feel Old AF

https://styleveryday.com/2018/03/02/27-photos-from-the-98-oscars-thatll-make-you-feel-old-af/

27 Photos From The '98 Oscars That'll Make You Feel Old AF

“It’s scary how nobody stays together anymore.” — Lindsay Lohan in 1998

Billy Crystal hosted for the sixth time.

Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

Cher showed up looking fierce AF.

Where can I get that hat? Is it even a hat? I don’t care, I want one.

Hector Mata / AFP / Getty Images

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck brought their mammas.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

And went crazy when they won Best Original Screenplay for Good Will Hunting.

Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson both won for As Good as It Gets.

And they continued being cute as hell.

Hal Garb / AFP / Getty Images

Stanley Donen won the Lifetime Achievement Award.

He’s best known for directing Singin’ in the Rain and Charade.

Hal Garb / AFP / Getty Images

Robin Williams also won for Good Will Hunting.

The pure joy of his speech is something we will cherish forever.

Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

And James Cameron was understandably excited about Titanic‘s success.

Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

Past winners posed together for this photo.

If this were taken today, Cher’s tepid clap would have been GIF’ed 1,000 times over.

Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

Helen Hunt was escorted by BABYFACED Hank Azaria, pre-marriage.

And subsequent divorce, thanks to the alleged Oscar Curse.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver were still married.

Hector Mata / AFP / Getty Images

Same goes for Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas.

This one still hurts, tbh.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

And James Cameron and Linda Hamilton.

But thanks to the gods above, they will soon be reuniting for a new Terminator.

Lucy Nicholson / AFP / Getty Images

AND Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.

Kim won Best Supporting Actress for her dynamite performance in L.A. Confidential.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Madonna clearly loved Titanic…

Hector Mata / AFP / Getty Images

…and continued to freak out, despite Fiona Apple’s calming presence.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Minnie Driver looked flawless.

She was also nominated for Good Will Hunting.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

As did 24-year-old Tyra Banks.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Halle Berry, too.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Ashley Judd and Mira Sorvino were palling around before being wrongfully blacklisted.

On a lighter note, look at all the lovely Judd women together!

Hector Mata / AFP / Getty Images

Celine Dion sang “My Heart Will Go On”.

Which OBVIOUSLY won Best Original Song.

Timothy A. Clary / AFP / Getty Images

Joan Cusack rocked some killer bangs.

She was nominated for In & Out.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

And Tara Lapinski proved ice skaters belong on the red carpet.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Judi Dench straight-up stopped aging.

She was nominated for Mrs. Brown.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

And Julianne Moore celebrated her first nomination.

She was nominated for Boogie Nights.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Gloria Stuart also celebrated her first nom and embraced the fact that she would forever be known as “the old lady from Titanic“.

Precious.

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

Kate Winslet and Helena Bonham Carter looked absolutely stunning (in the most ’90s way possible).

Helena was nominated for The Wings of the Dove and Kate for Titanic (clearly).

Vince Bucci / AFP / Getty Images

And, of course, Leo wasn’t even nominated! But here’s a nice photo of him at the ’98 Globes to get you through the pain:

Brenda Chase / Getty Images

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [fam christmas woooo when you ain't talked to your sister in 4 months either just to make it more awks] Rio: [what a fun time for all, when you are constantly on your phone so much 'cos Ryan won't stop messaging you and wants a play by play Buster: [he'd be drunk before he even got there ffs boy] Rio: [when it's that point in the evening when everyone is playing stupid games tipsy and you just cannot so you go hide in the kitchen] Buster: [let's say he bumps into her literally cos yeah what you need is another drink boy] Rio: [when you literally jump back like 'oh'] Buster: [when you do the thing peeps do to me & go twenty miles out of your way round her] Rio: ['Don't fall, McKenna'] Buster: ['Only for you, babe' too drunk & voice too loud] Rio: [When you swipe his drink off the counter 'fore he can stop you can take a sip and put your finger to your lips like 'shh, idiot' and hand it back to him, shaking your head] Buster: [When you down that drink so you have to get another & be in there longer] Rio: ['tis the season' when even when you're talking you're constantly on your phone and not that bitch and they love eye contact but she's not smiling like 😍 it's more like 😑] Buster: [when you take her phone before she can stop you & put it down where she can't reach it] Rio: [the lowkey panic in your eyes that you try to mask, 'Come on, don't be a dick'] Buster: ['Don't be rude'] Rio: ['Your territory, I know'] Buster: ['You trying to come for my crown now?'] Rio: ['Maybe' trying to move a chair to wherever he's put her phone] Buster: ['Antisocial is closer to the other twin. Try harder' Lifts her up so she can get it cos drunk & shameless] Rio: [When you stop breathing 'til you're back on the ground and then you breathe out so heavily, 'You wanna be social now? Party's in there' points to the lounge] Buster: ['Hopeless romantic is more her thing too' throws the words over his shoulder as he leaves cos he knows about the bf through stalking them socials] Rio: What are you talking about Buster: You love him Buster: It's cute Rio: It's not even been a month Buster: Moving fast is more of a lesbian thing, like I said, Nance will either be thrilled or threatened Rio: Talk to her and see Rio: though you've definitely got better things to catch up on than my dating history Buster: Put your phone down & try it yourself Rio: I see her every day Buster: Run out of shit to say then? Understandable Buster: Probably don't tell her that though Buster: So rude Rio: I'm not trying to take away from your sibling bonding time Rio: soz Buster: You can't take something that don't exist Rio: It exists, you both just choose to ignore it Rio: least it's mutual though so Buster: Nah, it's been scratched out the schedule instead of penciled in Buster: Still siblings no time to bond Rio: Hmm Rio: you're SO busy, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: Lovely Buster: Not the word Rio: Not so miserable I'm here to listen to the 'stresses' in your life, tah Buster: Never said it was negative, I just don't use old lady vocab, like Buster: You sound like a teacher Rio: 🙄 Rio: Now you're gonna chat shit on my vocabulary, alright private school Buster: I am a pleasure to have in class if you wanna let my parents know Rio: That was the whole point, remember Rio: how would I know Buster: Play really well with others too but probably don't let 'em know how you know that Rio: You'll be wanting to delete that, I presume Rio: surprised you've even got the balls to talk to me at all Buster: How many convos did you start? Buster: I weren't expecting you to jump out of a cake but a happy birthday would've been polite Rio: Likewise Rio: Expecting or fantasizing, you'd have to make a booking Rio: not showing up uninvited, heaven forbid Buster: Mine was first, babe & I ain't never pretended to be that Rio: So if I'd have said it to you, you'd have returned the favour Rio: You're so childish Buster: We'll never know now Buster: What I might've said Buster: Or gifted you Rio: Save it up for sweet 16 Rio: maybe you'll be allowed to talk to me then Buster: Maybe I'll show up in time to stop the wedding Buster: Fingers crossed you don't get knocked up like your mum Rio: Shut up Buster: Only so much your good looks could do to beat the odds of it being an ugly kid Rio: What would you know Buster: Flawless + Fuck ugly = you're right I don't know Buster: Don't wanna Rio: You've never even seen him Rio: don't be so judgmental Buster: Wrong again, babe Buster: Factual more like Rio: Well I clearly don't think so if I love him so much, do I Buster: That'll be all the cum in your eye Rio: So mature Buster: They don't age check on those vids, it's fine Rio: should run a basic IQ test on you Rio: someone who claims to be such a pleasure in class, like Buster: I've done one but I know you hate when I brag about numbers Rio: That's universal Rio: no one but your hanger-on mates wants to hear that Buster: Your friend loved it, she thinks hers is lucky Rio: I'm glad you found someone officially more stupid than you then Buster: That's universal Buster: Applicable in every case, like Rio: Sure she loved being told that too Rio: such a bullshitter Buster: We didn't do that much talking Buster: Once I'd told her what to do, not much else left to say Rio: Why are you still talking Buster: Why are you still replying? Rio: Gotta be on my phone ain't I Buster: Not in this convo though Rio: Well you're blocking my notifications Rio: you'll pussy out soon enough and be gone Buster: Well I'm drunk. Mute me Rio: Take some responsibility for yourself Rio: you always want me to do everything Buster: So you don't want a line then? More for me Rio: That explains why you're talking so much shit Rio: go on then Rio: have to be here so Buster: [brings it to her cos gentlemanly] Rio: [goes off to the bathroom, 'cos learnt something about getting caught, humming white christmas like] Buster: [lols] Rio: Cheers Buster: Merry Christmas Rio: Merry Christmas, Buster Rio: [bringing the baggie back, assuming there's plenty to go around here] Buster: [does his off the kitchen counter cos wants to be where she is] Rio: [rolls her eyes but licks a finger to clean up the excess and sucks it off] Buster: [is 😏] Rio: ['still like danger, do you?] Buster: ['Don't you?'] Rio: ['Obviously'] Buster: [picks her up & puts her on the counter cos throwback & is standing between her legs like close af 'good to know'] Rio: ['How gone are you?' cos what else can you say rn] Buster: [whispers 'depends who you ask' in her ear and puts a finger to his lips like its such a big secret okay boyyy] Rio: [lols, 'thanks for inadvertently answering my question there' but is just looking at him still like #conflict] Buster: [reaches round her to take her drink cos left his in the other room] Rio: ['oi!' pouty face] Buster: [rather than just giving her it back like a normal person, feeds her the drink like this is crepes 2.0] Rio: [into it.com, 'sharing is caring today, huh?'] Buster: [a nod because so much eye contact so much tension who can speak] Rio: [when you're so close now your phone is the only thing between you and then it goes off and you shit yourself] Buster: [angry.com idk whose house they are in but blatantly walks off & punches the wall in potential full view of the fam cos coke ain't your friend boy] Rio: [when you gotta go outside to have that call 'cos not only not wanting him to hear but everyone tbh] Buster: [when everyone's like umm wtf buster but you ain't having it so you storm out & are also outside but the front while she's in the back] Rio: [when every convo is like talking him off a ledge 'cos he's that bitch do not need this Ryan, even a little bit, going back in finally to get a drink 'cos 1. need and 2. hoping he's had the same idea] Buster: [when you're just having a meltdown lowkey] Rio: I'm just sending this in case you want anything but me to fuck off Buster: I can't Buster: Want anything but that Rio: I'm sorry Rio: genuinely Buster: Don't Buster: Just fucking do not Rio: What can I do Rio: tell me and I'll do it Buster: Nothing Rio: that's what you need? Buster: Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, fucking none of it Buster: *Look Rio: Okay Rio: I will Rio: I'm not gonna give out totally empty promises it'll be hard but I will Buster: [When you just yeet like where do you think you're going at Christmas babe] Rio: [Later] Rio: Tell someone where you are Buster: Why would I do that? Buster: & Why would you ask me to? That's a broken promise already Rio: That's what I do Rio: I'm a shit person, like you don't know by now Rio: but they're gonna go out looking if you don't soon so heads up Buster: Let 'em, I don't care about ruining their fun in case you didn't know by now Rio: Alright Rio: if you don't wanna stay where you are Buster: Why? Rio: Know they'll find you Buster: No, why do you love him? Rio: Honestly? Rio: I don't, you can believe that or not but I don't Rio: I'm just trying, you know Buster: I believe it, if only 'cause I want to Buster: That & I've seen him Rio: Alright 😂 Rio: it's not all about looks, general statement, not a declaration of love Buster: He's got that good of a personality, yeah? Rio: Well Rio: said I weren't it love with him, didn't I Rio: he's alright but it really don't go much deeper than that right now Buster: There's no chance he knows that Buster: Unless he's just that chatty with everyone Rio: Yeah Rio: he's a lot Rio: just that type, you know Buster: Do you want me to chat to him? Buster: I can be a lot Rio: Don't think that means you should be besties Rio: it's fine though, honestly Rio: I can handle him, and whoever else Buster: Alright Rio: are you Buster: Don't ask me questions you already know the answer to Buster: You ain't meant to even be talking to me Rio: Yeah Rio: just want the answer to be different Rio: can't be acting surprised, notoriously bad at keeping any kind of promise, and leaving you alone Buster: Maybe Santa will bring you what you want next year, babe Buster: Don't waste your birthday wish though Rio: 🤞 Rio: Sure some other fucker's got to the wishbone too Rio: keep an eye out for shooting stars Buster: Do my best Buster: Any less isn't an option, like Rio: Nah Rio: what can I say if you don't? Rio: see, best gift of all yeah Rio: room to breathe Buster: I know that ain't yours to me, someone's fucked with that tag Rio: Yeah, I just got you socks but worth trying to claim it Rio: you got me Buster: Socks have their uses Buster: Cold feet or otherwise Rio: Yeah, think of me whenever your feet are cold Rio: 😂 Buster: Obviously Rio: Where are you then Buster: You're not getting an invite Rio: Just curious Rio: Anyway, with you gone and them out looking, I've got the drinks to myself now so tah Buster: Shame it's not the house Buster: That'd be worth coming back for Rio: Stay gone a few hours more maybe the search party will include rugging up all the kids Rio: keep you posted on how special you are Buster: Cheers Rio: it's just your da and granddad Rio: which I did point out probably wasn't the best team when assumedly you've found a pub that's open Rio: might have to stop for a pint, even if you ain't Rio: rude not to Buster: & I had my money on mum & Nance, gutted Buster: The fan club's a fucking sham Rio: shit state of affairs, honestly Rio: where's janis when you need her Rio: sure she'd find you Buster: Only if you'd started searching first Buster: & Were about to find me Rio: That would've been a well good excuse Rio: just tryna find enlightenment it's okay Rio: my ma would buy it and she's the nosiest so Buster: There was a ticket to Heaven on offer so Rio: should've come on the search, like Rio: knew I'd fuck up the talking one so reckoned I could at least go a day or two without looking Rio: if I played it right Buster: I still haven't been found Buster: If you wanna do the honours Rio: Hide and seek Rio: what do I win? Buster: I told you not to ask when you already know the answer Rio: Okay Rio: wish its me that finds you 'cos awkward if it's them Buster: I don't need hope or wishes, remember Buster: Neither do you Buster: Not for this Rio: Okay Rio: no cheating, I'll know Buster: I swear Buster: Head boy's honour, like Rio: are you actually head boy now Buster: Did you actually think I wouldn't be? Rio: Didn't doubt you for a second Rio: hot Rio: in a nerdy way Buster: I'd have brought the badge if I'd have known you were so into it Rio: I know this christmas was going pretty shocking but you've really ruined mine now Buster: [sends her a pic of him when he was wearing it] Buster: You bring me problems, I offer you solutions Rio: 😍 Rio: If you ever go proper missing, make sure they use that Rio: well inspiring Buster: I can do better, but they can't show that level of inspiring on the news Rio: not even the 10 o'clock one Buster: Probably keep 'em your eyes only, babe Rio: Fine by me Rio: I wanna be the one to find you anyway Buster: I want you to Rio: Lemme sniff this out Rio: did you have your keys on you Buster: I always have my keys on me Rio: if you've gone home that's so funny Buster: You know I'm hilarious Rio: Your dad is Rio: if we wanna keep ruining the festivities tell your mum how dumb he is Rio: be a hoot Buster: Will do Buster: Hold on Rio: Alright? Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: Well if you've had an empty house this whole time and you're only just telling me Rio: don't know if this is even you tbh Rio: convincing serial killer maybe Buster: I just needed Buster: That breathing room I got as a mystery gift Rio: Makes sense Rio: I don't have to come Rio: if you still wanna be left alone, I won't tell Rio: they can worry a bit longer Buster: You do have to Buster: I wanna be alone with you Rio: I want that too Rio: hold on Buster: Okay Rio: Promise you'll take my phone away when I get there Buster: If you promise not to tell anyone that I think my hand is fucked Rio: How fucked Rio: like, if you show me how to strap it we can do that or sneaky trip to A&E fucked Buster: Like I can already hear the lecture about punching walls instead of bags Rio: We'll sort it Rio: I won't tell anyone Buster: Thanks Rio: doesn't mean I don't get to fuss though Buster: Such a mum Buster: I ain't got that many issues that its a turn on for me, you know Rio: Shut up Rio: so rude Buster: You're cute Rio: 😒 yeah and as unsexy as a mum Buster: You couldn't be unsexy if you tried Rio: swear you got just enough issues? Buster: Talking about them would take all night Buster: But so would what I'd rather do Rio: Well Rio: think they'll clock before then but Rio: take whatever time we can get Buster: Well then I swear I'll make it worth it Buster: Even if we have to be quick Rio: Jesus Rio: I know it'll be worth it Rio: how could it not be Buster: Yeah, but you don't know how worth it yet Buster: You will Rio: You too Rio: I swear Buster: Tell me this is actually fucking happening this time Buster: I need you Rio: It has to Rio: 'cos all that's happening is I'm caring less and less about the risks and more and more about just making it happen Buster: I know I'm drunk but I never cared about anything but this Buster: I don't Rio: We're both drunk but it's still true Rio: I can't stop, Buster Rio: whatever the fuck this is Buster: You don't have to Buster: Be with me, that's all I want Rio: I'm coming Rio: I'm sorry but even if your family walks in at this point I ain't fucking stopping Rio: I'm so sick of not getting what I want Buster: I can't not give it to you Buster: Everything you want Rio: You Rio: that is all I want right now Buster: I'm not even offended that you don't reckon I'm everything Buster: Easily proved wrong Rio: Exactly Rio: show me Buster: Fuck Buster: Say that again Rio: Show me, baby Rio: I want you to be everything, 'cos you're all I can think about Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: Hurry up & be at my house for fuck's sake Rio: you know I live in the middle of nowhere Rio: [cos figure cali gaff has the most space so logic they'd have been there] Rio: it's the biggest cockblock, modern day princess in a tower basically Buster: 😂 Buster: I'm surrounded by princesses all day, you ain't Rio: Bit rude but I've been called worse Buster: It's the opposite of rude the way I mean it Rio: Let you off then Buster: Don't you know that you're on another level? Buster: Doesn't he tell you that in all those texts you get? Rio: He says a lot of things Rio: I'd be lying if I said I was always tuned in, like Buster: Of course not, like you said, I'm all you can think about Rio: Literally Rio: it's stupid Buster: Nah, 'cause if it was it'd be shared stupidity & I'm too smart for that Rio: 😂 Rio: very self-serving, but I'll take it Buster: Plus, I fucking hate sharing Rio: I know Rio: but you know you don't have to with me Rio: not really Buster: You're gonna dump him, yeah? Rio: I can Rio: we can talk about that later though Rio: what we wanna do for the rest of the time and all that Rio: don't think about it right now Buster: I can't think Buster: Not properly Rio: Then don't Rio: you know I want you more than anyone else right now Buster: Yeah Buster: More than anyone else ever Rio: Yeah Rio: Whatever it is Rio: I know I ain't felt it before Rio: wanting someone so hard all the time Buster: Me either Buster: Wanting someone this hard Buster: Never mind all the time Rio: I know it's crazy Rio: but I don't care Rio: can't Buster: Folie à deux, like Rio: You and your French obsession 😏 Buster: I had to learn to kiss somehow, you didn't teach me shit Rio: You wouldn't let me Rio: so NOT a pleasure to have in class Buster: You could've made you move any time Buster: Including before I was dared to make mine Rio: You take the piss enough that I was in love with you without that Rio: you'd have been even more unbearable if I had, like Buster: No Buster: I only was 'cause you made me do it & then it went like that Rio: I didn't dare you Buster: You didn't have to Buster: Don't act like there weren't loads of chances before that Buster: You could've took one Rio: Better late than never, ain't it Rio: be there in 5 Buster: Of course Buster: Be here now though Rio: Could hardly ask for a lift like hey, think he's here but give me like 15 alone, k dad Buster: Can't your boyfriend drive? Perfect way to dump him Rio: Yeah that'd go well Buster: You'd soon forget all about him Buster: We don't need 15 minutes for that Rio: Not gonna time you, like but Rio: hold you to it Buster: You don't need to, give me one second & you won't remember his name Rio: Fuck Rio: I'm so ready for this Rio: for you Buster: Show me Buster: I'm done waiting Rio: [when you show up and see 'em like hell no] Rio: This is beyond an actual joke Buster: [when you can't even answer cos you're beyond angry like if you thought he was mad before peeps] Rio: Fuck this Buster: [later cos you have to deal with them] Buster: Meet me tomorrow Rio: I can't Rio: we go to see my da's family Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: I know Rio: can't get out of it though we stay over Rio: there's no way they'd let me stay home Buster: When are you back? Rio: 30th Rio: you're staying for new year's eve, aren't you Buster: Barely but yeah Buster: My flight's next day Rio: We'll make it work Rio: they'll all be so gone Buster: We're gonna have to, it ain't no commuter flight this time Rio: Yeah Rio: you're so lucky Buster: Not how I feel right now Rio: No, me either Rio: really not in the mood, they're all in my face constantly Buster: My dad's lucky he ain't going to A&E Rio: Not condoning that but I could've easily jumped 'em myself so Rio: this is bullshit, swear they left us alone constantly as kids Buster: I'd lift you up, babe. Teamwork Buster: & Yeah, you can swear to that 'cause they did Rio: 😂😍 Rio: #goals Rio: getting my own place as soon as I can Buster: See, I do play well with others Buster: Come to London, I'm always on my own there Buster: Fucking typical Rio: I will Rio: and you can't be mad because that's an invite Rio: however casual Buster: Mad ain't the word Buster: You're always trying to put the wrong ones in my mouth Rio: Don't make my mind go there Buster: If your mind is anywhere else, tell me how you did it Rio: it ain't Rio: but your mouth specifically now Buster: Shame my mouth ain't specifically where it wants to be Rio: Shame ain't the word Rio: for a white boy you got really good lips, you know Buster: I know Rio: ugh Rio: be here Buster: I'm here, that's all I can do Rio: I'm glad we're talking Buster: You missed me, yeah? Rio: You know I did Buster: Tell me Rio: I missed you loads Rio: I thought about you all the time Buster: You're not gonna go see that lad now are you? Rio: No Rio: he wants me to but I don't have time anyway Buster: Don't. I didn't turn you on for his benefit Rio: I don't want him Rio: you don't either, okay Buster: Okay Rio: Not today Rio: you were mine Buster: I still am Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: it feels so good saying your name Rio: I wanna say it for you Buster: Call me Rio: [does, 'cos you gotta do something poor bastards] Buster: [you deserve this lads] Rio: [when even this is gonna be fire] Buster: [literally better than anything I could ever do] Rio: That was Rio: I feel a bit better now Buster: If you think you feel good now, wait until NYE Rio: I don't wanna wait Rio: but fine Rio: try my best Buster: I don't wanna either but I do wanna make up for lost time so behave & I'll make you cum for every day you've had to Buster: Hold me to it Rio: Damn Rio: you're really daddy, huh Rio: 😇 Buster: It's not that high of a number yet Buster: You can be impressed when I make the offer after being away for ages Rio: You better Rio: gotta have some incentive to come back, right Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm so jealous Buster: Put your teacher voice on & come with Rio: 😏 I'll get the 'fit Buster: I look forward to seeing it Rio: You're there to actually learn, babe Rio: maybe I'll tutor you, if I have time Buster: You're saying you don't have enough to teach me full time? Disappointing Rio: Plenty Rio: 'nuff to take it stateside Buster: Start packing then Rio: When we going Buster: Why not now Buster: Fuck it Rio: That's what I need Rio: you, distance from this fam and a place no one knows us Buster: Exactly Rio: One day Buster: Hold me to it too Rio: Can we stop doing the thing where you leave and we don't talk for months now Rio: like, it's exhausting pretending I hate you and don't wanna fuck you, you know Buster: I have to leave, but yeah, we also have to talk Rio: I know you're going Rio: I mean like I see you for a week or something and then that's that 'til the next family function Buster: I know what you mean Buster: It's not like that's how I want it Rio: Why'd it always end up happening, like Buster: What can I say? Buster: What do you want me to? Rio: I ain't blaming you Rio: it's both of us Rio: just, let's not let something happen between now and when you go so you won't talk to me alright Buster: Whatever happens, I still wanna Buster: It's not that black & white though, is it? Rio: nah Rio: I dunno Rio: we got separate lives to live Rio: obviously, and that's cool Rio: but idk why that means we have to end up hating each other Rio: like it is black and white, all or nothing Buster: I can't hate you Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: alright, pretend then Rio: you're quite convincing sometimes Buster: Well I need to be Buster: Sometimes Rio: Yeah Buster: Just don't break my fucking heart, yeah? Buster: Simple Rio: Why would I do that Buster: All or nothing Rio: that's not how I want it either, I'm telling you Rio: we can do better Buster: Obviously Buster: I can always do better & you always keep up Rio: 😏 Rio: thanks Rio: I think Buster: It's a compliment Buster: Nobody else can Buster: Not that I've found yet anyway Rio: Maybe you'll find yourself an American girl who can Buster: Maybe Rio: just don't get married Rio: can only deal with the accent for so long Buster: Before I've done uni & got a career? My mum would kill me Buster: She'd turn up with a shotgun to stop it, fuck encouraging it Rio: 😂 Rio: Nance is the hopeless romantic, I remember Buster: Good Buster: I don't do repeats never mind wedding vows Rio: Never? Buster: Like I said, they can't keep up Buster: I'm not running a charity Rio: You are funny Buster: I'm also too good at it to be having shit hook ups Buster: Tell your friends Rio: 🙄 Rio: No one's forcing you, to my knowledge Rio: so don't think you can complain Buster: I ain't Buster: You asked & I answered Rio: I did not ask you to specifically tell me how good anyone is Rio: let alone people I know Buster: I haven't Rio: Come on Rio: I know what that comment implies and about who Rio: not seen her for ages anyway so can't say I'm heartbroken over her, like Buster: I'm just saying for future reference, let you friends know that anyone can always do better Rio: It is truly amazing anyone wants to sleep with you Buster: They don't want to talk to me Buster: I told you it ain't easy Rio: It ain't hard Rio: stop flattering yourself for a sec, babe Buster: Start flattering me then, babe Rio: 😏 Buster: Can you really not meet me tomorrow? Rio: I really wanna Rio: but we leave so early Buster: You should go then Buster: Sleep Rio: but Buster: I know Buster: But I'll be there, won't I, you always dream about me Rio: Hmm so you reckon Buster: Come on Rio: You Rio: don't you wanna offer to make me sleepy? Rio: amateur Buster: Sleepy ain't the word Rio: I don't reckon you can get me to pass out from there but alright Buster: You don't? Rio: Nope Rio: don't feel bad, like 😉 Buster: Answer your phone & do exactly what I tell you, let's see how we both feel then Rio: [does, duh] Buster: [opened pandoras box here lads] Rio: [least you can do this to your hearts content no matter where y'all is, 'cept when Ryan is around, which is sadly too often] Buster: [god bless technology especially the waterproof phones of the future] Rio: [defs a thing] Buster: [they should fall asleep on the phone together though] Rio: [deffo]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: hey Janis: how you settling back in? Grace: ugh Grace: no weirder than its gotta be for you tho Janis: 😕 bummer Janis: lack of sunshine too real a metaphor Janis: well Grace: OMG SPILL Janis: Cass text and the situation sounded dire enough that I had to just talk to him Janis: and thank fuck, it didn't blow up in my face Grace: Love it Grace: not the dire situ obvs but like Grace: 💘💘 Janis: Yeah Janis: I think it's gonna be alright Grace: Yay!! Grace: I called it but still buzzing to hear it from you babes Janis: You wanna claim to know things now? Janis: let you have it 😜 Grace: excuse you bitch I do know things Grace: but it's not hard when you and barista boy are so obvs Janis: 🔮 Janis: obvs enough you spotted him? Janis: keep it on the DL Grace: Duh Grace: 😂 Janis: 😂 Awh Janis: poor baby Grace: I don't have to feel bad for either of you any more so Janis: Shame Janis: getting used to the perks Grace: cope with it bitch im not bringing you food just cos Grace: it's your turn tbh Janis: are you that 💔 forreal Grace: not about to ✂ levels of hard honey Grace: but idk Janis: thank god, don't you dare piggyback on my depression era bob, bitch Janis: no twinning Janis: you'll get into your groove with the whole LDR vibe Grace: eww never call it that again Grace: and no thanks there's no way I could pull off the cut Grace: how soon can I call him? its a lot Janis: whatever i call it, it is what it is, babe Janis: he'll be happy to hear from you already Janis: don't stress it Janis: pretend you're practicing your Spanish if you wanna play it 😎 Grace: we both know my spanish is A++ and so does he Janis: don't need to know how you've proved it thanks Grace: cos you know Grace: omg how did I get myself into this Grace: rom coms dont get made on any of this cos its too cringe Janis: stop 😷 Janis: let your 😍 get the better of you Janis: can't fight it now Janis: step off my bit, like Grace: thanks babes Grace: guess we've fully switched Grace: you're in with the advice Janis: what can I say Janis: momentary blip and I'm back to being the wise one Grace: rude Grace: I'm about to get top marks in Spanish until we leave school so Janis: you can thank Mateo in your speech if you like Grace: might have lost him by then but i'll always have the skills 🙏 Janis: oh honey Janis: so pessimistic Grace: uh no Grace: the realest Grace: you've been there with past me Grace: it's about time like Janis: he's not like your past beaus though Janis: is he Grace: okay no Grace: I'll chill Grace: I'm just Janis: ? Grace: let's not go there Janis: fine Janis: not like i was just the most vulnerable with you or anything 😏 Grace: you bitch Grace: okay like I'm being dramatic but it's just such a thing Grace: everything that's happened and I'm still like ?? have I changed enough for this Grace: you know what I mean? Janis: that's up to you Janis: 'cos a lot of that shit, wasn't on you Janis: yeah, you weren't perfect but your bullshit came from picking the wrong sort of dudes Janis: and you've already changed that part of the puzzle so Grace: Maybe you are the wise one Grace: I wanna be good enough for him cos this whole ldr vibe won't be easy Grace: Gotta be worthwhile if he's putting way much effort in Janis: No maybe about it baby Janis: you'll be putting in as much Janis: that's all you need to do Grace: Is it? Janis: 'course Janis: he liked you Janis: you've done the hard graft on that one Grace: okay Janis: Trust Grace: weird idea but yeah Grace: 🤞 Janis: charming Grace: 😂 Grace: It's tea and it's lukewarm at best Janis: how many of the spanish lads did mia run through Janis: bet pablo won Grace: ewww Grace: so gross and so real Janis: got so cultured Grace: the levels of cringe when the only souvenirs they bring back are love bites and pee tests Janis: I mean Janis: beats a keyring Janis: but wasn't really vibing Grace: I'd take a keyring over Mia Janis: Ooosh Grace: She's way harder to lose Janis: Savage but fair Janis: I know it Janis: suffered that for long enough Grace: #twining Grace: cos me too Grace: At least it's a good thing when barista boy Grace: love that he's highkey Janis: worked in my favour so Janis: not gonna disagree Grace: you two kill me omg Janis: shut up Grace: 🤐 Janis: it is good tho Grace: im happy for you babes Grace: even if im 😡 too cos im alone af Janis: soz you can't join in Janis: but i owe you several pity dates so, call 'em in when you're really feeling it Grace: yay Grace: im 100% planning to annoy your bf at work now hes not 💔 Janis: i'll warn him Grace: do it so he can work my angles Grace: been a while since he got his camera out for me Janis: 😑 if I didn't know that wasn't innuendo Janis: could pretend I don't and smack you down Grace: 😂 Grace: Chill I got a boy of my own to keep interested Janis: 👀 on you bitch Grace: 💅 Janis: 🔨 Grace: 🙄 Janis: anyway the real question Janis: do i milk the perks of being 💔 with the fam or do i come clean to get them the fuck out my face Grace: not even a q Grace: you'll crack and tell them Grace: dad's too highkey about eating feelings Janis: yeah Janis: already getting content fat Janis: can't also pile on the sad fat Janis: nightmare Grace: OMG shut up Grace: I'll smack you Grace: so unfair Janis: 🤷 Grace: such a bitch Janis: whatever Janis: like you're a whale Grace: next to you like Janis: you're mad Janis: its different body types Janis: you're more like rio Janis: and edie Janis: me and billie are more twiggy, thanks dad 🙄 Grace: ugh Grace: please im nothing like Rio Grace: Or Edie Janis joined the chat 84 minutes ago Janis: Yeah Janis: not in the bad ways, don't worry Grace: 🙄🙄 in any ways tbh Janis: who you like then Janis: or you think you ❄ Grace: more like 🦆 Grace: but anyway Janis: bitch please you know how that one goes Janis: swan the whole time Grace: bitch that's a kid's story Grace: not living it Janis: may as well Janis: living with old mother hubbard, like Grace: 😂 Janis: can't be normal with this narrative Janis: sadly Grace: ugh real Janis: but fuck normal right Grace: 👏 Grace: If Mia's it then yeah Janis: we all know normal is code for basic so, yeah Janis: we might be fucked but at least we ain't that Grace: Thank god Grace: nicest thing you've ever said to me too Grace: doubly blessed here Janis: don't get too used to it Janis: still me, like Grace: Do I need to warn Jimmy? Janis: Nah Janis: but he ain't you Janis: no offense 😘 Grace: we all know Grace: we see your 😍 Janis: duh Janis: you been there too Grace: did you tell him? Janis: that you fancied him? Janis: we been knew Grace: GURL PLEASE Grace: that you love him Janis: oh Janis: ha Janis: maybe Janis: if i only just managed to say it to him, what makes you think imma shout it to you bitch 😜 Grace: OMG HAVE I NOT SUFFERED FOR THIS Grace: 😂 Janis: I know, you love the fairytale ending Janis: to be continued, babe Grace: Rude Grace: Gonna have to watch Netflix if you won't let me binge on your drama Janis: netflix and chill ur man Janis: dirty hoe Grace: excuse you Grace: that is a good idea tho Janis: i know Janis: only an hour ahead, thank fuck the school didn't shell out for a more exotic exchange Grace: ikr? id die Grace: i like you boy but i like sleeping too so Janis: 😂 Grace: you ever coming home or you just living over there with him now? Janis: solid plan Janis: though diego and Iggy would get pissy if I stole their respective studios Grace: I'd take them being mad over his dad cos that's option 2 Grace: and he's such a Janis: bellend Janis: gonna be fuming i'm back Grace: oh god Grace: least youve got your fans in his brother and sister Grace: and that dog like Janis: sure you're still bobs number 1 Janis: won't tell him YOU'VE moved on tho Grace: oh no what a homewrecker move of me Grace: he's soooo sweet Grace: that's why I brought him back some Spanish 🍬 Janis: that'll soften the blow Janis: be his sweet bitch and you can sow your wild oats Grace: 😂 Grace: boys are so easy Grace: you can take them for me if you don't take the credit bitch Janis: no promises Janis: i'm getting back in good books here Grace: 👌 I'll deliver them myself Grace: 👀 on you Janis: you can when you're forcing headshot duties on jim Grace: true Janis: s'alright, I ain't down for being 'muse' 'til this shit grows out Grace: BUT IT'S CUTE Janis: 👖🔥 Grace: not even Grace: I like it Janis: I'll make it work Janis: like you always say Janis: hardly fashion forward am i Grace: you're obvs making that work too babes Janis: sure Janis: butch dyke chic Grace: shhhh Grace: so not Janis: have to get billie to take notes Grace: good luck getting her to do anything Janis: True Janis: how long can a baby be an excuse Janis: no shade Grace: like 2 years at most Grace: but in this fam 2 seconds Grace: gotta have and do it all Janis: she's outta time then Janis: do 👏 some 👏 work 👏 bitch Grace: Big mood Janis: cue her angry model rant Janis: it's a real job, okay 😜 Grace: I'm so mad about it Grace: never once been spotted in town so unfair Janis: gutted Janis: could be a creepy fam sitch Janis: wannabe kardashians, know you'd love it Grace: obvs Janis: 😂 are you sure Janis: what if you're the khloe tho Grace: that's so mean omg Grace: but i'd still take it Janis: don't do yourself like that hun, none of us need to take that bullet Grace: easy for you to say Kim Grace: Don't tell Rio that's you like she'd go off Janis: 😂😂 she got the tapes Grace: omg yeah didn't think of that Grace: take back your kim status Grace: i'm obvs kylie anyway her taste in lads like Janis: mhmm, and the egomaniac mans #sozkanye #sozbuster #but Janis: i'll be your kendall then Janis: nothing like the rest and seems uninterested in their shit half the time Grace: 😂 Grace: shamelessly the prettiest Grace: 👀 you Janis: 😏 Janis: billie can be kourtney 'cos remember when kim told her she was boring to look at Janis: savage Grace: iconic Janis: then no one has to be khloe, sorted Janis: though her kid is cute Grace: 😍😍😍 ikr Grace: so many of them are Grace: unfair Janis: we all know why Janis: #goblack Janis: Ma did it better Grace: Gonna tell Jimmy he's dumped already like? Grace: Cold Janis: 😂 not being that bitch Janis: if I ever say I'm having kids, you need to assess a lot more than that Janis: like hell no Grace: believe it when I don't see it Grace: you were saying you weren't 💘 once upon a time Janis: I wanna have a life tho tah Grace: if anyone's proved you can it's everyone in this fam Grace: girl please that's not an excuse Janis: not saying it is, just a reason to keep on the pill, like Janis: i'm hardly Ma Grace: 😂 Janis: imagine Janis: poor fuckers Grace: let's not cos i agree with you and thats weird enough Janis: i can fight you if you like Janis: always a pleasure Grace: the ✂ taken the fun out of it Grace: love a dramatic hair pull moment Janis: oh, there's still enough to pull 😏 Grace: TMI Janis: 😂 Grace: if you were talking about his I'd be listening though Grace: he may be white but hes still cute Janis: square up Grace: girl no Grace: not trying to ruin my nails for anyone thank you Janis: shoulda thought about that Grace: think on your possessiveness hun Janis: no bitch Janis: he's mine Janis: end of story Grace: 💍 Janis: 🖕 Grace: 💋