#tbh she is also a barbarian but even before the official paladin levels she was functionally a paladin of pharasma (goddess of death)

[armor-goblin]

this post made me think about gods-carver the barbarian turned paladin in a modern au (and also in canon, where she's basically just whittling ducks and showing her friends around golarion)

in a modern/humanized au she would have freckles (for the hyena spots) and either pineapple her hair or shave it into a true hyena mohawk. and she would run a community arts center and teach woodworking classes and badly throw pots and get kids to care about art. also possibly about how fun it is to swing a giant polearm around. she would dress entirely in bike shorts and workout tops. and be frequently stained with clay and paint and unknowable craft items. she would help her bffs set up for local music gigs and pole showcases and carry all their equipment for them and also dabble in costuming. she would still be six foot eight and she would get even more hugs and she would be so god damn happy!!!!!

[arobinwithoutbatman]

((Alright folks, under the read more is the very long tale of what's happened so far in my dnd campaign and what happened last night

SO!

I live with my DM, have done for 5 years now and we've been best friends for about 20 years. Ish. We forget how old we were when we met. It's a long story. The entire world is homebrewed; everything from maps to culture to world history to an entire fucking pantheon. Seriously. My best friend is *incredible* and when I'm not involved in a campaign, I've been their sound board.

The party composition has changed a lot since we first started February 2022 for various reasons: -Cleric switched to Bard cause he was getting a bit bored and wanted to try something different for a while. The Cleric is still alive just currently tied up with work at his temple -Original Bard switched to Rogue because she lost her character sheet and it got flavoured that she was always a Rogue and just pretending to be a Bard -Barbarian was kicked out once he finally revealed his true toxic narcisstist colours and if he comes anywhere his ex (the Rogue player) we're calling the police -One of our Sorcerers switched to Paladin because we had no melee party members and got our asses handed to us a few sessions ago. That particular fight was meant to be difficult and unwinnable but not quite as drastic as what ended up happening. Lots of unlucky dice rolls

Current Level 10 Party composition is as follows: -Luran: Half Elf Bard, not sure what college. He's an artist, his inspiration is flicks of colourful paint that twirl very prettily around us -Love: Reborn Tiefling Sorcerer. Can't remember what her source of magic is rn. She's got all of her skin and organs and everything, she's just covered in burns -Farla: Tabaxi Rogue, Assassin specifically. She's caused so many fucking issues for us -.- Oh and she's officially in trouble with her guild for lack of loyalty and therefore potentially getting the rest of us in trouble -Xiderm: Reborn Eladrin Druid/Artificer. The tech thing is recent. He's literally a skeleton. Yes his name is a taxidermy joke. He and Love bond a lot over the death thing -Cassius: Human (I think) Paladin, Oath of Conquest. He's only been with us for a few sessions and was specifically assigned to us by our mercenary Guild Master to babysit us because we keep ending up in shit -Alice (AKA me~): Human Archfey Warlock, Pact of the Tome. I went full Alice in Wonderland because autism brain a couple years back said "This is a thing you like now" so I'm running with it. Wild Beyond The Witchlight only enabled this. My Patron is the Cheshire Cat~ I'm also currently a Dhampir! I got turned a while back and only got found out last night~

I can go into the story of the whole campaign cause that'll take up it's own post tbh but last night~

We finished our journey across the lake and continued escorting a lovely dwarf named Amelia. She's taking a project back to one of the big cities in the area; she's essentially making the world's first WarForged but it's not quite there yet, it's barely even a prototype and not even sentient. We're headed to the same place so we offered to go with her. We settled into this cosy little pub in a crack in a mountain, got a brief lesson on Dwarven culture (whether you finish the drink or not, you accept the mug that is offered to you and at least try a few sips. To so anything else is highly offensive) and settled in for the night before heading off the next morning. We stopped off at a teeny tiny hamlet cause night was falling, city is still like 3 days away. And the inn didn't really have enough rooms and beds for all of us so we sort of just... grabbed whatever space we could in the area.

Which made it difficult for me to sneak off and go find some food. Cause I got turned into a vampire in a session that happened in October and I only started seriously dropping hints in... March? Because I have heard our Druid/Artificer out of character chatting to our DM that he's sure something is going on with me and just never did anything about it in character. So yeah, I've been very quietly communicating with DM for that long for whenever I'm sneaking off at night to go find an animal to suck the blood of.

As you can imagine, I got caught. Rolled a pretty decent stealth check but Xiderm saw through it and was more concerned by the fact that I, Alice, a very proper lady and courtsean who needs sleep, was sneaking out of the inn in the middle of the night. I noticed I was being followed and tried to lose him, thought I did but we're in a mountain area. There's not a lot of wildlife around that would sate me and I went hungry the night before. Xiderm ended up catching me a couple of rodents of varying sizes but it wasn't enough to fully sate me. It'll have to do though. We had a good long talk and I was given an ultimatium: Tell the party about my condition before we reach Kethador ( the city we're headed to) or he will.

Which I've agreed to purely because that city is underground. No wildlife means no blood. Which means I start getting disadvantages after 3 days, after a week I have to kill to be sated and after 12 days I will go feral and we don't know how long we'll be there.

We also had a talk about when it happened (Player actually guessed this) and why. I chose it. When the rest of the party were getting attacked by creatures in the middle of the night, I was called by an alluring voice which turned out to be a very pretty lady vampire who offered me the choice to be turned instead of being attacked by her hoardes of brothers. I had a talk with Chesh and with her and then accepted her offer.

Anyway. Next morning we start going up the mountain pass and end up in a fight with a rock dragon. Think... Gravios from Monster Hunter. And then we ended there because we play in the evenings and some of us needed sleep and had work in the morning.))