#tbh my soul leaves my body everytime i think of it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chvoswxtch · 2 years ago

Note

that Jon con story was 😳😳🫠 my soul woulda left my body on the spot 😮‍💨 tbh I dunno that I could survive being in the same room as him 🫣 but it’s funny cause ✨ hands ✨ was literally my Frankie request

Imagine you’re in a new relationship with Frankie, slowly testing the waters cause who ain’t a bit broken these days

and you got a thing for ✨ hands ✨ and you think you’re being discreet when you stare at his hands while they do pretty much anything BUT Frankie ain’t a dummy and has noticed and wants to test his theory that you really really like his hands

👀🙏🏻🫠😮‍💨

babes it's the way we literally share the same brain cell bc those HANDS, as soon as I saw this request I literally dropped everything and started working on it. thank you for requesting this and inspiring me to thirst over frankie's hands and helping me kick off this week of celebration. ✨ I adore YOU so MUCH. ❤️

warning: contain explicit sexual content. as always, minors please dni. btw the jon con story in reference can be found here. :) word count: 3.1k

everyone say thank you to my sweet angel baby @jwjeepers for this lovely request to start off this week of celebrating my 500 followers friends milestone! happy slutting over frankie! 🖤

don't hold back.

It was subtle at first. You had a habit of zoning out when you vanished into your thoughts, or were concentrating really hard on something. Frank had noticed it very early on. Sometimes you would disappear for a little bit, getting lost in your own stream of consciousness before finding your way back to him. Frank didn’t think much of it. He found it kind of endearing, actually. He always wondered though, what exactly was going through your head when you had that far off look in your eyes. He wondered what you daydreamed about, and where you went when you stared off into space, curious if he ever popped up in any of those scenes.

The first hint was a few weeks ago when you and Frank had met up with some of your friends for drinks. Frank was in the middle of telling a story, animatedly moving his hands around as he did so, when he caught your gaze out of the corner of his eye. Your eyes were following every single movement of his hands. He didn’t think much of it at first, figuring you were probably just trying to paint a clear picture in your head, so he brushed it off. But then he caught you doing it again. And again. And again. Everytime he used his hands to speak, your eyes were glued to them. Throughout the night as the alcohol dulled your inhibitions, you were more reckless with your lingering stares. Frank had even caught the way you trapped your bottom lip between your teeth when he wrapped his fingers around the neck of his beer bottle, and his curiosity peaked.

Your relationship was still very new, both of you trying to figure out how to navigate it as cautiously as possible. He was still healing from another lifetime of pain and loss, a piece of him knowing he always would be. You were hypervigilant with your heart due to your mother being an incurable romantic currently on husband number four. Sometimes he thought it was a marvel you two were even together. Frank never talked more than he had to, and you were more on the shy and quiet side. It had taken Frank just as long to get you to open up to him about your feelings as it had taken you to get him to open up about his. He never imagined he would even want to open his heart up to someone else again, but there was something special about you. Something in your soul that called out to his. He still remembers the day you first met, and the way you had smiled at him. He knew right then he was done for.

He didn’t know what you saw in him. Frank could never fully wrap his head around why the hell out of anyone, and oh you could have fucking have anyone, you chose him. Over and over again, day after day, you chose him. He waited for you to change your mind, break out of whatever trance you were under, and leave him. But you never did. He was constantly torn between wanting to show you his worst to see if you would stay, and wanting to prove to you that he was the man you believed he was so that you would stay.

Frank savored every part of your relationship, taking his time to enjoy every piece of it fully. He never went farther than what he was absolutely sure you were comfortable with. He let you set the pace, always following your lead, worrying that if he got carried away he would fuck everything up. The first time you let him kiss you, he felt dizzy with adoration and his lips tingled for hours afterwards. And the first time you let him make love to you? Frank fucking swore he believed in heaven, because he had found it inside your body. Little by little, your confidence blossomed, and Frank was able to coax more of what you liked out of you to make sure he was always doing everything exactly right. Nothing filled him with more pride than pleasing you.

He didn’t want to push you, or make you uncomfortable, but he was dying to know what you were hiding from him. Everytime he caught you staring at his hands, you would immediately redirect your eyes and blush profusely. Frank thought he had somewhat of an idea of what was going on, so he decided to test out his theory.

Frank used his hands as much as possible over the course of the next few days. If you were struggling to reach something, he would come up behind you and splay his large hand on your lower back, never once missing the way your lips parted and a flush crept onto your cheeks in response. Frank wasn’t a huge fan of PDA, but he made it a point to hold onto your hand every time you went somewhere together, or place his hand just high enough on your thigh to get a silent reaction out of you everytime you sat next to him or rode with him in his truck. He especially loved doing that when you wore dresses or skirts, brushing his calloused fingers along your soft skin in slow strokes. Frank would catch the way your eyes widened slightly, and a devious smirk would curl at the corner of his mouth. He even went as far as getting into a fight with some drunk asshole in a dive bar, cracking his fist roughly against the guy’s jaw, just to come home to let you assess the damage and fix him up. He didn’t need you to, his knuckles were barely even bruised, but he wanted to see the way you would react to getting to examine his hand up close. The hitch in your breath as he held it out for you and the way your eyes swelled with lust as you delicately grazed your fingertips over his angry knuckles had his cock thrashing against his jeans. He had figured you out, and now he just needed to find a way to get you to ask for what he knew you wanted.

Frank had you on his lap, one hand placed firmly on the middle of your back to hold you in place against him, and the other loosely wrapped around your throat as he gently grabbed your jaw in his fingers. He took his time kissing at that sensitive spot at the base of your neck he knew drove you crazy. He figured if he could get you worked up enough, needy and desperate for more, that you would open up and bloom for him. He just needed to guide you there. Frank could practically feel the thundering rhythm of your heart pounding against his own chest. He swallowed every breathless pant that escaped your lips. An impatient whine echoed off your tongue and he grinned. Frank had you exactly where he wanted you.

He purposefully kept his hands still in their places, focusing solely on his gentle assault on your neck with his lips and tongue, occasionally nipping at your collarbone. He could tell you were getting restless by the way your hips started to tenuously rock back and forth, your fingers once loosely threaded in his hair now tugging slightly.

“Frank…please…”

“Please what, darlin’? Hm?”

You huffed in response, earning a throaty chuckle from him, and grabbed a small fistfull of the collar of his shirt to tug him closer, even though there was hardly an inch of space between you two.

“Please.”

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.”

“Want you, Frank.”

“Nah, think you can do better than that. C’mon baby, tell me what you want.”

Frank tried not to laugh at the futile way you attempted to tear his lips away from your neck to bring his face closer to yours, your hips now picking up a more purposeful speed. Patience was not your virtue, and he knew it wouldn’t take much more teasing until you broke. He would wait.

“Fraaaaank. Please, I told you. I want you.”

“I think you’re lyin’ to me, baby.”

Frank pulled back just slightly to look into your eyes, taking in the furrow of confusion in your brows and the adorable pout on your lips. He tightened his hold on your throat, your chin firmly grasped between his thumb and index finger. He reveled in the way your eyes grew in bewilderment, and your hips stuttered to a stop.

“I think you want somethin’ in particular, but you’re too shy to ask. Yeah?”

Your lips parted slightly as a shuddering breath slipped past, and Frank took the opportunity to swipe the pad of his thumb deliberately across your bottom lip. Your hand flew up to grab onto his forearm, gripping onto it tightly. He stared at you silently for a second, searching your eyes for any hesitation. You gave his arm a gentle squeeze and he took that as a signal to experimentally push his thumb past your plump lips. You greedily accepted it in your mouth, closing your eyes for a moment as you swirled your tongue around it and sucked softly, even giving the tip a gentle bite. A small grunt sounded in the back of his throat and Frank found himself pathetically rock hard beneath you.

He swiftly retracted his thumb from your mouth with a pop, a twinge of embarrassment sparking in him that if he let you keep doing that, he’d no doubt come on the spot. Both of you stared at each other for a moment in silent astonishment. Frank cocked his head to the side slightly, a mischievous glint in his eye as that familiar cocky smirk appeared on his lips.

“Ain’t feelin’ so shy now, are ya?”

You bit down on your bottom lip hard, unable to tear your eyes away from Frank’s relentless stare. It made you feel even smaller than you already did with him. He clicked his tongue against his cheek, shaking his head slowly as his thumb pulled your bottom lip free from your teeth.

“Uh uh. If you’re feelin’ brave enough to take my thumb in your mouth like you do my cock, then you can be a big girl and use your words, yeah? You gonna tell me what you want now, sweetheart?”

Frank’s shameless words shot straight down to your core and you couldn’t stifle the pitiful whine that sounded from you. You closed your eyes for a moment to regain your composure, far too turned on to even be embarrassed that Frank had caught on to you. You weren’t sure why you even would be embarrassed. Frank always gave you everything you asked for without hesitation. But sex between the two of you so far had been gentle and loving, not that you didn’t adore or enjoy that, but you weren’t sure how to tell him that you wanted more. You weren’t sure what he would think of you if you told him what you really wanted him to do to you.

“Your hands.”

“What about ‘em, baby?”

“I think you kinda already know.”

“I do. Wanna hear you say it though.”

The smug grin on his mouth had you whining in agitation. It was no use putting up a fight. Frank wasn’t going to give up until you gave in, and his willpower was much stronger than yours. Swallowing your pride, you stared directly into his deep brown eyes, a wicked idea forming in your head. If he was going to play this game, so could you.

“I love your hands, Frank. I love how big they are, how long your fingers are. I know they can reach so much deeper than mine can. Your fingers could get me to come so much faster than mine ever could. I love the way it feels when you touch me. I want you to touch me more, Frank. I want you to grab me and not be afraid to leave marks. I want you to squeeze my throat when you fuck me. I want-”

Frank didn’t give you a chance to finish before he was pulling you in by your throat and crashing his lips onto yours. His other hand was already bunching your dress up around your hips, fingers slipping beneath the waistband of your panties until his thumb found your clit. You moaned into his mouth and Frank had to channel all his self-control into not combusting right then and there because you were already so wet. He had never heard you talk like that but fuck did he want to hear more of it. He always felt like you were holding back with him, maybe just as much as he was with you, and he’d be damned if he let this side of you slip back into the shadows again.

One of his long fingers slipped easily into your entrance and he broke apart from your lips just in time to watch the way your face contorted in pleasure as a sigh of content filled the space between you. Frank was mesmerized by you, eyes fixated solely on your face as he began to fuck you slowly with his finger, his thumb grazing over your clit gently. You were practically begging for more already, breathless whimpers and pleas tumbling from your lips, your nails digging into his shoulder blades when he granted your request and pushed another finger past your entrance. Frank glanced down in awe to watch the way you moved your hips against his hand, wanting so badly for it to be his cock instead. He decided right then and there you were going to ride him for the first time tonight. You were so close to the edge already just from his fingers, and Frank’s ego soared at seeing how much of an effect he had on you.

“This what you wanted baby, hm? Just wanted me to fuck you with my fingers?”

“Yes Frank…God, please…don’t stop.”

“All you had to do was ask darlin’, you know I’d never say no to you. You know how much I love makin’ my pretty girl happy, don’t you?”

You couldn’t focus on anything other than the way Frank was plunging his fingers into you repeatedly, the sounds of your wetness squelching around his fingers quickly filling the living room. The faster you rocked your hips, the more brutal his pace became, and you loved it. You nodded your head quickly at his words, feeling dizzy at the way he said my pretty girl.

“You gonna tell me what you want from now on so I can give it to ya, hm? Give you whatever you want baby, just gotta ask. Or hell, you ain’t even gotta ask. You just take my hand and guide it where ya need it. If that’s what you want, you take it. You want my cock, take it. You take whatever the hell you want. It’s all yours, understand? You take what’s yours, yeah?”

All you could do was moan in response. Between Frank’s dangerously gruff voice and indelicate words, and the way he was curling his fingers and brushing along that spongy spot inside you that had you doubling over in indulgence, you couldn’t form any other word but his name.

“Attagirl. You gonna come for me now, sweetheart? Hm? Gonna soak my hand? Yeah you are, I can feel it. Look at you, already making a mess on my lap and you ain’t even there yet. Go on baby, come on my fingers. Don’t hold back, let me have it all, yeah? Go on, make a mess on me. Let me fuckin’ have it.”

A tsunami of rapture collided so hard into you that it knocked the breath completely out of your chest. You collapsed against Frank, barely able to hold yourself up on his lap as you meagerly tried to ride out the wave of pleasure. Frank’s deft fingers continued to work you over, wringing every single drop of pure bliss from you until he was certain there wasn’t an ounce of satisfaction he had missed. He wrapped his arm tightly around your waist to hold you against him, brushing his lips along the shell of your ear as he encouraged you through your orgasm.

“That’s it, there we go. That’s my girl. That’s my fuckin’ girl. Make me so proud baby, so fuckin’ proud. I got you, sweetheart.”

After a few minutes, you were finally able to get your breathing under control, your vision becoming less and less fuzzy as you fully regained coherency. Frank gazed down at you lovingly, brushing your hair away from your face and tucking a strand of it behind your ear. You blinked a few times as he came into focus, staring into his deep mahogany eyes. You blushed at the look he was giving you, a cheeky grin coupled with a quizzically arched brow.

“So, my girl’s a little kinky, hm? You been holdin’ back on me this whole time?”

You couldn’t help but burst into a fit of giggles, hiding your face into Frank’s chest to escape his taunting stare.

“I was nervous!”

“What the hell for? You think I wouldn’t like it or somethin’?”

“I didn’t know. You’re always so…gentle with me. You always take it slow, and touch me like I’m made of glass. Not that I mind that, I don’t at all. I like when you’re sweet to me. I just…I guess I wasn’t sure what you wanted, or what you would think of me if I told you what else I liked.”

Frank gently grabbed at your throat, holding your face in his fingers so that you couldn’t look away. There was a timid smile on his lips and an uncertain vulnerability floating around in his eyes.

“Baby, I take it slow because I don’t wanna push you. I never wanna do anythin’ that makes you uncomfortable. I’ve been lettin’ you call the shots this whole time, decidin’ what we do and when we do it, followin’ your lead, ya know? Look I…I just don’t wanna fuck this up. That’s all.”

“What if I don’t wanna call the shots? What if I want you to?”

Frank sucked in a deep breath at your words, unable to ignore the way they made his cock twitch in his jeans.

“If that’s what you want, sweetheart.”

“It is.”

“But-”

“Frank, I trust you, and I can take a lot more than you give me credit for. If I feel like I can’t handle something or don’t like it, I’ll tell you, and I trust that you’ll respect that. I promise I won’t hold back anymore if you don’t.”

“Alright, sweetheart. You got yourself a deal.”

#frank castle #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x you #frank castle x reader #frank castle x fem!reader #frank castle x female reader #frank castle smut #frank castle fic #frank castle request #the punisher #the punisher smut #the punisher fic #the punisher request

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anotherfrenchwarrior · 3 years ago

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You know, I always felt I was under the asexual umbrella. Don’t really know how exactly as I don’t really care much about it tbh. I live my life and I don’t need any “validation”. But sometimes, when I’m among my best friends and the conversation turns inevitably on sex... I wonder how it would be with a group of people who don’t feel like talking about it everytime we’re all together. Like, one or two jokes may be funny, but sometimes we can spend the whole night talking about it and I swear I can feel my soul leaving my body to think about books, video games or series... I still love my friends very much, but this creates a rift and the sentiment that I’m not “normal” because the main subject they all seem to like is something I’m not interested in.

#me

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karaslluthor · 5 years ago

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supercorp fanfic masterpost pt.2

this has been in my drafts for over a year so here ya go and hasn't been updated since then but if u haven't read these then ur welcome. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

its literally a big ass list jsyk and i did all the tumblr tags back then so idk if they are still the same users but hopefully lmao.

original part 1 is here boysss

MULTI FICS

somewhere i have never travelled (http://archiveofourown.org/works/9268886/chapters/21008012)

kara and lena visit all different places lenas lived and then they find a home together and its super cute and fluffy I cry

Paranoia Incarnated - @justmickeyfornow

mickey is my fucking supercorp spiritual guider with the best fucking fic and ive read it about 322934 times and still is sooo good. Also the whole heartbeat thing KILLS me. SO MUCH ANGST but literally its worth the death u go through trust me

Transcendent Interactions

Kara and lena share this bond thing from birth and can feel each others emotions and they finally meet and its so great like im actually fucking in love with this fic and kara gets herself off all the time thinking lena doesn’t know idk just read it u wont regret I stg

Closer and Closer (Until We Collide) - @hallow777

Im a slut for bed sharing tropes and this is so CUTE like lenas all freaking out because she keeps waking up cuddling kara and alex is oblivious to everything and its just soooo good

So, This Happened?

Drunk kara leaves drunk alex for a more suitable cuddle buddy aka lena lesbian luthor and lena sleeps in a supergirl t shirt bc of course

Sojourn

Holy mother of fuck as if this fic didn’t absolutely ruin my fucking life??? Lena has to go to London for a month so she invites kara to come with her and lena has a gay awakening and realises shes in love with kara and its SO FUCKING GOOD

just one wrong move (baby, baby)

lena is having karas baby from this alien tech accidentally! And lena is so loved and its so cute like honestly and obviously they fall in love bc duh

hold me, my dear (and don't let go)

kara is a professional cuddler and lena hires her services bc shes a sad touch starved young lady and deserves to have some hugs in her life hello fluff my old friend discovering the moon

alex and lena brotp and holy fuck does it deliver!!!! Alex is like a wingwoman we all need and kara and lena just need to communicate tbh but AMAZING

Focus on Something You Love, and Breathe

Lex is a little shit as always and wants to kill lena bc he thinks shes in love with supergirl (which she is) so kara says she can stay with her and obviously the angst is juicy and ruined my life. So. Good. Read. It.

Offstage

College theatre au but like literally one of the best college aus ive ever read!!!! Lenas just a big lesbian and karas confused and they bang secretly and its glorious

it's a boy!

lena takes in a super powered alien baby that falls from the sky and gets a weird neighbor in the form of kara danvers and theres not many chapters yet so im not sure whats happening with kara yet but im super excited for this!!!

Break My Fall

Kara dates monel but kisses lena as supergirl and its angsty and smutty and all round a good fucking time

carefulness can be damned

Post 3x7, literally smut with some plot need I say more??

A Foolish Wit - @seabiscuits-us

if you haven’t read seabiscuits fics are you even a supercorp fan?? Lena needs a husband and Clark Danvers is positively charming and also actually disguised as a man, I mean.. quality content

In My Veins

im soooo excited for this fic because the lena/alex brotp is written so well!!! Basically lena and alex become really good friends bc they both deal with their issues by drinking obvs and kara thinks they are secretly dating and gets upset and im SO READY FOR THIS ANGST

Would You Catch Me If I Fall For You ('Cause I'm falling)

This is absolutely amazing and so captivating and I was honestly on edge the whole time kudos to the author!!!!! Kara goes back in time to warn lena about her dying on the venture and lena falls in love with her but she disappears and then when real kara and lena meet, kara doesn’t remember knowing lena and ughsalkdhsla its so good.

We Need a New Song

Oh my good golly gosh this fic ruined my life. Ballet au that has barely any ballet and an abundance of GAY and I had to take a moment after reading this to collect myself tbh

and stick it into someone else's heart

Rhea infected lenas boobs in a cage dress with some weird alien stuff and her and kara have to bang or THEY’LL DIE pretty much but they love each other

The Laws of Fate

soulmate au where everyone has a red string and lenas points to the sky and shes confused af but it’s a gay slow burn and the angst is good for ur soul

My Sun

Lena gets into a car accident and kara thinks she died but lex is a maniac and wants lenas help and fdjsaklfs it’s a rollercoaster let me tell you

Mercy on Me

lena falls under black mercy and in order to bring her back karas has to break her poor little gay heart bc lena thinks her and kara are in looooove AWWW heart shatters

Be your own Hero

Collection of supercorp one shots!!!!!! Quality content lemme tell yaaaa

pick a blossom and hold it to your breast (honey, you know that’s my love bursting loud from inside)

kara and lena rely on their late night phone calls with each other and get the feels and go on a date and they are just cute adorable dorks that are nervous

your voice is pretty, baby (but i’d rather have your pretty skin instead)

part 2 of pick a blossom ^^^ still adorably cute and a smut chapter I mean come on, treat yoself

Firsts

kara and lenas first told in the cutest wayyyyyyyy

Whispers

lena works with lillian to save supergirl and its oh so angsty and kara always believes her girl bc that’s canon

My personal Santa in heels

Kara loves Christmas almost as much as she loves lena, almost

Timer

Soulmate AU where everyone can have a device installed to tell them the time until they meet their soulmate, kara and lena love each other but kara cant have a timer installed obvs kryptonian skin and its so cute and soft and angsty

The Fatal Flaw

Super cool and different fic and keen to see more chapters from this!! Kara doesn’t have her powers (yet) and she meets lena at a party at college and then clark tells her shes actually an alien ooooo im keen

Stay the night

Lena inherits the national city womens basketball team and star player kara danvers is a muscly babe and they try not to fall in love BUT ITS JUST TOO HARD BECAUSE THEY ARE SOULMATES also I love jack in this such a wingman

1865

MATTTTTTTTEEEE lena is the daughter of the governor and shes a little rebel. She falls in love with kara but her family has arranged her marriage to monel BUT LIKE THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH btw they are aliens but like in 1865 so cool. Pls update I love this so much

All Our Bodies in the Grass - @seabiscuits-us

fuckkkkk this fic honestly, amish au and lena knows nothing but kara is down to help her out while also sharing lovely girl mags ;)

B.F.F.W.E.B

Kara and lena are friends with benefits but feels get involveddddd, lenas a useless lesbian

All the little lies

Kara comes to earth and falls in love with lena but she has to go back to krypton and breaks lenas heart in the process, but she comes back and its only been like 7 months but its been like 3 years for lena!!! (I cant remember exact dates don’t judge me)

half melted m&m's

lena needs a fake wife to stay in the country so kara is ever so helpful and agrees to be her wife, oh I do love a fake wife trope and this delivers!!!!

The Wrong Superhero

Lena gets saved by batwoman and supergirl thinks she is super jealous because of superhero-related reasons but shes just in love with lena

We'll Take on the World

College au, just useless fools in love that need to communicate and make out more

And they call me from beyond the stars

Omg I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH ok so kara is a ghost (still from krypton and stuff) but no one can see her except lena so lena works on trying to get her back into the physical plane of existence so she can find alex but they FIND LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER oh my god so angsty let me tell ya be warned

Wait for me to come home

https://lostariels.tumblr.com/

idk where to even start on this fic honestly, im pretty sure most people have read this bc it’s a rite of passage but fuck it gets me everytime!!!! Army au and there is so much angst and I love it

An Unexpected Surprise

supercorp baby au!!! Kara and lena bang and kara ends up preggers. Iconic

Days in a Lifetime

Kara and lena grow up together, massive slowburn but worth the wait!!!!! ACTUALLY GO AND READ ALL OF STENS BECAUSE I JUST REALISED HOW MANY I PUT IN HERE AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING GREAT

Do you wanna (like you know I do) - @seabiscuits-us

another seabiscuit, I couldn’t not put this in!!! CAPE COD and sharing of bunk beds!!! Pls update this my soul is withering away

Purple and Black are my Favorite Colours

Kara gets in contact with kryptonite that makes her gp! And her and lena b a n g

ONE SHOTS

danishes and other sweet treats

oh my fuck this is so cute and its like a long one shot so I mean get on it because kara and lena go to a conference and share a hotel room need I say more

Sun Kissed

Kara takes lena on a roadtrip to the science museum for her birthday and my good golly gosh its so cute I could ascend to heaven

Only Human

A one shot with two chapters in different POV but lenas jealous of monel and then supercorp bang and its all angsty and lena protects kara and tbh they need to communicate but happy endings and love all round

The Right Thing

Lena freaks out because lex knows her and supergirl are dating and does the most dramatic thing (of course) by distancing herself from kara and did I say angst???/ also I cried multiple times in this

funny how the stars crossed right

Kara and lena keep meeting at parties and have super dorky costumes and fall in love (literally love anything written by you btw, im going to go ahead and say I would have all yours bookmarked so everyone just check them ALL out)

Accidental Text

kara accidentally sends a love confession to lena and its short and cute!

Unspoken Promises

supergirl and reign battle and lena finds out about kara being supergirl and supercorp are just obliviously in love

Green (Kara loves it and hates it in equal measure)

Im a sucker for a jealous trope and boy does this deliverrrr. Karas hella jealous of lena having other friends but realises its because shes super in love with her

Crush

Karas jealous because lena is flirting with supergirl but lena knows kara is supergirl so shes actually flirting with kara, nice!

My Donuts

Karas really jealous of sam and lena spending heaps of time together and then kara walks in on them having donuts and she fucking loses it because its their thing duh.

when we get there

Lena invites kara to her beach house to chill and they obvs fall in love because they are cute af

Have a Break

Lena is determined to work out how to use a vending machine to get kara her candy and kara and winn are watching it all unfold via cameras in catco, basically lena vs. the machine (himym singing voice)

Self doubt and comforting talks

Drunk kara, comforting lena fluff and adorableness

Shopping carts and a beautiful girl

Kara crashes into lenas car in a shopping cart and they go on a date and its SO CUTE

Distractions

lenas oblivious to kara being supergirl even though kara slips up all the time!!! #nicehalloweencostumekara

Lip Bites & Long Gazes

lenas a big gay flirt and kara gets frustrated and flustered and calls her out and they make out

Off the Record

kara spots lena at a gay club and they dance and make out *lizzie mcguire voice this is what dreams are made of*

Not so secret

the superfriends take a weekend away and kara and lena bang pretty much smut but its cute

come be my lover, be my getaway car

How many amazing tropes can you fit into one fic (aka the fic that made me lose my fucking mind oh my god its so good, had it include)

A one time thing

Kara and lena end up banging in a motel and kara has an internal meltdown its great

This is Home

Listen here, this is the most adorable thing my two eyes have ever witnessed. Lena doesn’t really have a home kara the sweet soul she assists her in finding a home with her (aka its kara, kara is her home get it)

Her Biggest Fan

lena is apart of the supergirl fandom, aka shes me

Drunk Puppy

kara being a drunk gay mess wanting to hunt seashells with lena

Act Natural

kara and lena have hickies and try to hide them on a beach trip with the gang

Like a date, date

kara asks lena on a date and lena has a gay panic attack pretty much

Datable

everyone thinks kara and lena are dating so they just start dating? Amazing

Stop following me, creep

Please clarify

Lena tries to tell kara she loves her and wants to date but karas an alien and just doesn’t get it, so cuteeeee

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 1)

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 2)

Soulmate au!!!! Any ink on your skin appears on your soulmates and omg its so cute like kara draws all this art on herself and lena gets to see it too!!!!!

Muddle my heart (then add a dash of lime)

Kara keeps going to the bar because punk/bartender Lena is a babe and she has a big lesbian crush on her

be hopeful, don't get broken (stay caught up in the moment)

angsty dog au and I mean PUPPIEs and SUPERCORP need I say more?

The makings of a family

Clark is the one who arrives after being stuck in the phantom zone and kara has to look after him and lena helps her out and wow new baby for supercorp

Let Your Guard Down

Lena in a DEO uniform sparring with kara and its so angsty because lenas mad at kara for not telling her the supergirl secret and then they bang and did I already mention lena in a DEO uniform???

Do you not like the service here?

Thirsty kara and waitress lena, lenas jealous of alex l o l

here is where time is on our side (part 1)

our corner of the universe (part 2)

long oneshot but fuck me its so good. Post daxamite invasion/mon-el coming back and both are healing from everything and go on a roadtrip just wherever the map takes them and oh my fuck its so cute and everything u want in a fic. Part two is the follow up

The Uncanny Valley

cadmus replaces real lena with a robot version and kara didn’t know but then kara finds lena and its cute

put these battered bones to rest

soulmate au (you should know by now im a sucker for a good soulmate au), lena has a foreign name on her hip (its kara btw)

pain

another soulmate au hhehehe soulmates feel each others pain obvs both these babies have a lot of paiiiiiin in their lives

Love is Garbage

Literally a garbage truck au, im not even going to say more

i know you're out there somewhere waiting (i know the stars can hear us praying)

Whats this??? Another soulmate au!!! Classic lover one arm, enemy on the other, honestly lena deserves more and just waits for kara to love her and I love this fic, also they help sam!!

Monster in the Mirror

Supercorp reveal in the middle of the lena/edge poisoning children episode oooooooh so angsty but happy love ending

Safety

Supercorp first ever sleepover!!! This is so cute stop

Please Clarify

Lena tries to ask kara out in every single way possible and kara is an oblivious alien

love is a flower, you gotta let it grow

Unrequited love makes u grow flower petals in your lungs but when ur love is returned it clears up, this was dope and I love ur work

where our hands hurt from healing - @seabiscuits-us

its seabiscuit do I need to say more?????? I will tho. Alex and lena match on tinder and become besties and I live for alex/lena brotp so….

blessed be (the mystery of love) - @seabiscuits-us

*dj Khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE, look I love every single fic this one does not disappoint and nothing like a good light hearted first date fisting hahahahahaha

The Luthor and the Super That Saved the World

Fit it fic for the season three finale where there is more supercorp and less shit writing, LOVE STENS WORK

Kara Danvers and the Brown Belt of Lesbianism

Karas gay brown belt that she always wears that makes her look like a big ol lesbian drives lena mental bc she so gay

SIN

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BY JAZZFORDSHIRE IM NOT FUCKING JOKING LET YOURSELF FALL INTO THIS SMUTFEST AND LIVE UR BEST FUCKING LIFE AND IF YOU HAVENT READ THE CAMPING AU UR NOT EVEN A SUPERCORP STAN

Pleasure

like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry

What Happens in the K Room Doesn't Stay in the K Room

green-eyed monster

Kara shows Lena what makes her Super

Supergirl, Kara, and a Luthor walk into a bar...

Late Night Heroics

Good Vibrations

Two Lena Luthors and a blonde walk into a bedroom...

Her perfect match

Girls' Night

Happy Halloween, Supergirl

What She Wants

make the rules then break them

an animal within an animal

THE WILDEST THING IVE EVER READ, STRAP THE FUCK IN (youll understand my pun when you’ve read it)

#supercorp #supercorp masterlist #fic rec #kara danvers #lena luthor #supergirl #supercorp fanfic

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cncosangel1 · 5 years ago

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CNCO as some of my favorite songs

Disclaimer : I wrote this in five minutes and out of boredom, I'm sorry if it sucks lol

Christopher Velez : Youth by Shawn Mendes and Khalid

1. this man has been trough so much

2. yet he never gave up

3. leaving his family and his hometown to work in the States and help them out

4. auditioning in La Banda and winning although none of his family members were physically there

5. spending almost a year without seeing his home

6. it's been years and he's still as loving and caring towards his family

7. (to me) he always feels the need to smile/laugh although he's not as his best, just to encourage his bandmates and his fans

8. he's living his best life

9. "this soul of mine will never break"

Zabdiel De Jesus : Mayores by Becky G and Bad Bunny

1. y'all know why i said this

2. yes i had to do it

3. zabdiel de jesus only likes older women

4. and he said that he also feels attracted to older friends

5. but he's also a "mayores" himself

6. and that on every plan

7. physical, he's a giraffe

8. personality wise, he's always so grounded and calm compared to the other four

9. kind of an "avatar" as the guys said themselves

10. and also "my love for him" wise

11. y'all are making switch to his lane please take it easy on me

12. "a mí me gustan mayores"

Richard Camacho : Rainberry by Zayn

1. He's been cheated on before

2. He had heen hurt

3. Yet he's so strong about it

4. He definetly has the vibes of a bad boy who doesn't give a fuck about anything

5. And he for sure doesn't

6. He's out there living his best life while bitches are hating on him

7. Go Richard ✊🏼✊🏼

8. "Rainberry please, you think I'm on my knees"

Joel Pimentel : Flaws by Mae Muller

1. We all know that Joel is the diva of the group

2. Tbh he's probably the one who takes the most time to get ready

3. Like he litteraly spends 5 hours on his hair at least??

4. Yet some people think he is a "discount version of Bruno Mars" (@yatusabess I see you)

5. Also he's so fashionable?

6. Pimentel be on the runway 24/7

7. I'm not complaining

8. He's been working on his body lately

9. And he's been showing us the results (which I'm not complaining about either)

10. Also he's been super confident in himself

11. Which we love

12. "Flaws, I don't see no flaws"

Erick Brian Colón : Young And Reckless by Charlotte Lawrence

1. Erick's papi energy >>>>

2. He's the youngest in the group

3. And he absolutely has no regard for his personal safety (pray for him rip)

4. "Oh your green eyes, I just want to watch you"

5. We all know that he knows he's too powerful

6. Especially with THE look he gives to girls he wants to flirt with

7. "All he gotta do is look at them"

8. It works everytime tbh rip me

9. He's living life to its fullest and he's not ashamed about it

10. That's why we love him

#cnco #headcanon #imagine #richard camacho #zabdiel de jesus #erick brian colon #christopher velez #joel pimentel #preferences

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lightsabersandkatanas · 5 years ago

Text

Fifteen Questions and Fifteen Mutuals

① ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE ?

Nope. I’m actually named after a son my mother loved when I was born. My dad hated my name, but I’m glad we stuck with it, because I can shorten or use the longer spelling.

② WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED ?

Last time I cried? Dear god, I think it was the other night watching one of my childhood favorite movies, The Polar Express. I was too small to appreciate not only the story, but the animation when I first saw it. They spent more time on the glacier gulch roller coaster tracks than probably intended.

③ DO YOU HAVE KIDS ?

Nope. Never will either. I don’t think I could handle the stress tbh.

④ DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT ?

Yes, but it gets misinterpreted as me being mean... A lot...

⑤ WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE ?

Personality. I can HEAR it in your voice right down to your vocal cords if you were dragged along to see anyone or anything.

⑥ WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOUR ?

A really light icy blue.

⑦ SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDING ?

Both? Depends on the movie tbh. Don’t like movies where literally everyone dies or the person hurting others doesn’t get served rightful justice.

⑧ ANY SPECIAL TALENTS ?

I’m really good at knowing what color works with another color. You’d probably see me going through the internet trying to find the right color to use that would look beautiful with another. It’s also a curse though. Certain shades of blue would NEVER work with certain shades of red and I cringe when I see it.

⑨ WHERE WERE YOU BORN ?

In Washington, in the tiny city of Spokane.

⑩ WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES ?

Writing currently! And playing games on Steam mostly. I am trying to get into Blender and using that to make my own gmod stuff. It’s really hard to find a good model of Alex Mercer now a days.

⑪ DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS ?

A chill cat named Raspberry. An adorable pupper named Sandee. A spastic batshit hyper cat named Clawdia. We’ll be adding a fourth member soon. Hopefully it works out.

⑫ WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED ?

Does my soul leaving my body everytime I attempt to play sports count? ;w; I used to play flag football in elementary, but I kind of lost interest towards the end of grade school.

⑬ HOW TALL ARE YOU ?

5′3″.

⑭ DREAM JOB ?

Never really considered a dream job, since getting to one in my current position is impossible. I would say livestreaming, but I haven’t gotten popular enough on there, so IDK.

⑮ FAVORITE SUBJECT AT SCHOOL ?

I never had a favorite subject sadly. It stressed me out to walk into the classroom and suddenly get bombarded with stuff that we had to learn in one sitting, and then we had to move on to the next subject the next freakin’ day.

Tagged by: @gatecoeur

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do this.

#I suck at tagging people.#Sorry if I got negative during this. School sucked.

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isla-rosessong · 5 years ago

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(My) Character/NPC Update Wishlist!

Hi all!

So Star Stable has been killing it lately with the NPC Updates with the Soul Riders, Andy, Ydris, Maya, and even some shop vendors! I love the new designs so, so, so, SOOOO much- as an artist myself they make me happy :)

But these updates take time and there are still some citizens of Jorvik in need of one of these new makeovers. And as I ride around Jorvik I can’t help but think to myself when I come across these people “Man, I love you, buuuuttttt...... ..............................

.....

.....I still love you though!!” XD

Its because I love these characters that I’d love to see them updated in the near future! So as time goes on and we patiently wait for these character updates, I thought of who I would like to see get redesigned. I’m excited to see either these people or any of the characters get a new do when they happen! Please note these are my opinions (though I know almost everyone wants these characters updated XD ) and be respectful! Also there may be some possible spoilers ahead so keep that in mind if you are not too far in the game! :)

Let me know what your dream NPC updates are too! I’d love to hear them!

Number 1: This Wonderful Family

I will protect this family. They are such a cute and sweet little bunch living on Paddock Island. They have the prettiest Shires and Clydesdales for sale and one of the best jumping races in my opinion. I would love to see them get an update! Especially because the the little girl kinda creeps me out a little...

Her face is a little creepy to me....

Why won’t she blink?

That onsie and farm shoe combo is not working for me honey.

I feel like with an update the Star Stable Team could make her look SOOO adorable!!! And I won’t feel creeped out everytime I talk to her. Did I mention she scares me a little yet? :D

Number 2: The Silverglade Romeo

AKA: Lance

I thought his quest was incredibly cute! I’d love to see a revamp on his design since the neckline of the shirt looks off and his design hasn’t aged well with the new look of the game. I would love to see this guy get an update just because that quest was adorable and he deserves it.

Plus, I’ve always liked him because I think its cool that they have an NPC sitting on a barrel. Something different. Weird opinion? Why yes, thank you for noticing :)

Number 3: That Lovable Yet Really Bad Postman

Yeah.... the world’s worst postman has not aged well, especially when standing next to the newly updated Soul Riders. His shirt hangs weird on his body and movements are a little stiff which kind of looks off now when he is standing next to the Soul Riders or Evergray.

As a character from the original Starshine legacy series, one of Anne’s friends, our friendly neighborhood postman, and just as one of the nicest but clumiest characters in SSO, I think the fans would love to see this guy get an update!

Number 4: The Guy Who Loses Giant Boxes of Saddles.

Srsly Stein- you had one job with the saddles at the Open House.

Anywho, Stein is that guy who works at Jorvik Stables under Herman. He’s diligent though he gets us to do his chores for him...

I can’t help but think he would look really good with a makeover and smoother animations especially since his character design is pretty good to begin with.

Number 5: The Moorland Heir

Justin Moorland. The first person we meet in SSO and our in game tutorial. Not to mention part of our adventure on Jorvik. But tbh... when I first started playing as a noob I really did not like Justin’s design XD He grew on me and now I imagine Justin as one of Isla’s closest friends.

Although is has been hinted at the Midsummer Festival that Justin may be getting a new look soon!

So I feel like this resilient and horse loving dude could use a little makeover to be up to date with the game and story. We love you Justin!! :)

Number 6: The Trash Bag.

UGGGGGGGHHHHH. Mr. Kembell is so mean and evil! Sorry dude, but not even a flower crown will help!

Despite my deep dislike of this guy, and how I think Isla would feel about this monster, I feel like a good antagonist needs a solid villainous appearance.

Just think how cool the SSO team could make him look! They could REALLY make him evil looking like they have for Darko!

Although I will admit, his shape and some features of him do remind me of a Cog from the old Toontown Online game I used to play. So I get that whole heartless, money obsessed business man vibe from him now because of it. Am I the only one who sees this or Nah? Just me? XD

Number 7: The Captain.

This guy has been important to the Keepers of Aideen and in my opinion, just plain awesome. Seriously, I love a random character who you think is not going to be important, and then suddenly is! What can I say? It’s a lovely surprise, because I totally thought he was just some grumpy sea captain who just chilled out in Cape West to give me random side quests.

But he has not aged well, especially next to the other Druids and such. I have faith that the SSO team would give him a wicked cool makeover!

Number 8: The Horse.

They updated Bjorn and Agathe’s horse so why not update the horse next to the Captain? Logic.

Number 9: The Other Trash Bag

He also hasn’t aged well and doesn’t look as evil in my opinion anymore. Which is a little sad to me :(

I would love to see Mr. Sands get a new look in the near future with awesome animations and a new sinister look!

Number 10: His ex wife!?! DUH DUH DUHHHHH!!!

I love the Baroness. She is so strong. So regal. So resilient. So poised. And has the coolest daughter (Anastasia Silverglade)

I’d love to see what she would look like updated :)

Number 11: Mr. Fancy Pants.

I loved this quest- it was hilarious and such a blast! I would love to see this guy get an update (and get an extra fancy outfit that maybe keeps his iconic monocle perhaps?)

The Debatable One:

The Iconic Break Dancing Old Man.

This is debatable. We all love Jasper and want the best for him like a new look.

Yet, we all think his break dancing is iconic. Plus that design of his is iconic. I guess I wouldn’t want him updated for a looonnnnggg time.

I leave this one up to SSO.

And there you go! NPCs I hope get updated in the near future! Let me know which NPCs you want updated soon or dream updated people/places/things around Jorvik you’re hoping for! Is there anything specific for a character design you have in mind? I’d love to hear about it!

Thanks for reading and see you around Jorvik!

#SSO #sso spoiler #star stable online #star stable screenshots #star stable update

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zankivich · 6 years ago

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Teacher’s Pet: A College AU Chapter 14

a/n hi friends!!!!!! I’m back. Comments and love are always appreciated. Let me know if you liked. :) It’s basically all smut and fluff tbh.

edit: the song Girls Want Love that is referenced here is fucking iconic, and needed to be included. Go listen to it tbh.

Chapter 14

It’s the first day where neither of you are allowed to class and Shawn is taking the whole “keep your mind off things” to whole other level. He woke you earlier than anyone had dared do such a thing since you’d taken a stupid fucking shakespearean english eight a.m in undergrad, and forced you to get dressed. Then he grabbed his guitar and your hand and pulled your lifeless, caffeine deprived body to his jeep. He let you wrap your body around one of his arms and only smiled adoringly at you everytime you groaned when he needed it back to change gears. Eventually you realized this was not going to be a simple, easy trip when one of the traffic signs told you you were officially leaving the city.

“This is it, isn’t it?” You asked him between a yawn.

He smiled down at you eyes flickering back to the road.

“What?”

“You’ve finally had enough of me and you’re taking me out to the woods to kill me.”

He laughed, the sound beautiful and wondrous, of course. You hated him.

“Honey I’m not taking you to kill you.” He reassured you. “I promise.”

“Hmm… but isn’t that just what’d you say if you were?”

“Y/n I just thought we could get away from everything for a day, spend some time together outside of school and the studio and all that crap. Is that okay with you?”

He gave a playful roll of his eyes and you figured if he was going to kill you at least you’d get to sleep a little longer. So, you snuggled deeper into the warmth of his body and closed your eyes.

“I guess so. Don’t have to be so sassy about it though.”

By the time the car finally stopped you were able to get another half hour of sleep and your boyfriend’s face was a little easier to handle in all it’s annoying, perfectly chiseled glory. The sun was already high in the sky and he’d brought you to a beach that was much farther away from the one you usually went to. When you asked why, he pointed out how few people were around and shrugged his shoulder like the adorable soft little bean that he was.

“I just wanna make you happy today. Get your mind off things.” He said. “I know you feel more comfortable when we’re not around a whole bunch of people.”

You wrapped your arms around his waist leaning up to kiss softly at his lips the way you deserved. He was so beautiful to you.

“I love you.” You murmured feverishly. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I want you to be happy.” He repeated fingers nipping your chin. “Always.”

He pulled out a beach bag full to the brim with snacks, sunscreen, and your bathing suites. On the beach there were big, massive rocks that shielded the sun a little bit. You plopped onto a couple of towels once you both changed into suits and he immediately pulled you into his arms. It was increasingly difficult to think about what was going on in the classroom, how many lectures you’d missed, even your research when the even rhythm of his chest rumbled in your ear, or his fingers twisted into your hair. You didn’t need to even really do anything but lie there and enjoy each other’s company. It felt like an act of resistance. To be and to love and to exist with one another. In all of the fight to prove why you deserved to be together, there was something extremely liberating about doing just that.

The sun was high in the sky and Shawn let you nestle into his side as he plucked at the strings on his guitar. His usual headband was tying his curls back and his chest was bare, the muscles seeming to twitch and flex everytime he strummed a chord. He was one of the most beautiful creatures you’d ever seen, and it was one of your favorite past times to simply watch him be.

“Are you staring at me?” He grinned down at you.

You licked your lip and nodded. “Little bit.”

“Who’s creepy now?”

“Still you, babes.”

He stopped playing for a second to place a hand over his heart and feign like he was hurt.

“And to think I was gonna sing you a song about how pretty you are, and how in love with you I am.”

You smiled and nipped playfully at his ribs. “Babbbby, play me a song.”

“Mmm… What do you want me to play?”

“Anything. Just wanna hear your voice.”

“You’ll be the death of me, I know it.” He sighed to himself plucking at the strings once again.

There’s something about Shawn on the beach, bare chested, with sunblock still visible on his cheeks, singing a song about this girl that makes him wild enough to write a whole fucking song about it. And then on top of it, for that girl to be you. You wonder absently how many songs he’s written about you. You know that he’d tell you if you asked, but there’s something about the mystery of not knowing that makes your heart feel fuller in your chest. He is on your mind constantly, and you can only hope that the same is true for him.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” You ask when the song has ended and his eyes are closed just playing because it makes him happy.

He grinned shyly to himself eyes peering down at you in interest.

“Beautiful, aye?”

One of his thighs was occupied by his guitar but you grip the other firmly in your hand and rest your head upon it.

“Yea. I mean we both know you’re wildly hot and you’re gonna have fangirls who want to rip your clothes off. All of that is fine; I want that for you, you deserve it. But like...You’re really beautiful and special to me. When you’re just lying there with your eyes closed and you’re playing just because you can, the wind in your curls. It’s not just like, it’s not that you're physically attractive. I just love your soul and your face when you’re doing what you love. You’re beautiful to me.”

You shrugged and spazzed out as you usually did when you made any attempts to vocalize how much he meant for you. Sometimes you were afraid that he would judge you or think that you were weird, but instead he smiled at you and pushed his guitar off to the side like that wasn’t the love of his life so that he could better cover your body with his own in the sand.

“Sometimes I think I can’t love you anymore, like there’s no more room in my body for anything else.” He hummed running the pad of his thumb along your bottom lip. “I don’t think I ever could have done something to deserve you, and yet here you are. You’re with me and you love me like I love you. That’s so fucking cool.”

You laughed at the absolute pleasure he seemed to take in speaking about his feelings for you. He was so fucking cute, it was disgusting.

“That is pretty fucking cool, babes.”

He rolled over onto his back, pulling you onto his chest. One of his hands rested pleasantly on your back, the other covering your own on his chest as you laid in the sun. It was peaceful and quiet, the only sound being the waves and the occasional segal. It was weird to feel so simultaneously private and in public at the same time. It was kind of perfect.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you.” You murmured.

You played with his fingers to entertain yourself, absently tracing at the tattoo of the bird on his hand. You knew he was smiling at you because you could hear it in his voice.

“Like what?” He asked.

“Anything. Anything in the world. Just something that will make me know you better.”

You sat in the silence as he thought absently to himself and it was just as comfortable as if the conversation had never stopped. There didn’t need to be a constant filling of the space with noise, but when you did it was always impactful. It always mattered.

“I’m really afraid of moving back home after college.” He offered eventually.

Your eyes rose to his, honey-brown on a darker black.

“Really? You’ve never told me that before. How come?”

He nodded softly working his fingers back to intertwined with yours.

“I don’t know. Part of it is the music thing is kind of happening and Andrew keeps talking about all of these plans he has for me, how he thinks I can be big. But . . . I really miss my family. And my mom worries so fucking much about me all the time. And Canada it--it’s home in a way that here just could never be you know? I’m different there.”

“So you’re scared of not being able to go home?” You asked, confused.

His fingers tightened around yours.

“Kinda of...But also I’m scared I won’t ever be able to convince you to come with me.” He admitted.

Your eyes widened as the conversation took a sharp turn to a territory you’d never been before.

“What do you mean?”

His hand that wasn’t currently occupied with yours came up to rub soothingly across your lip. He kept his eyes there so as to not have to gauge your reaction to his words.

“I just know that.. I would want, I mean--with how I feel right now...I can’t imagine my life without going back to Canada. But, I can’t imagine Canada without you.”

You peered up at his face, soft and child-like with the California sun hitting his cheek bones. It was another one of those moments where he laid his heart on his sleeve for you, where he dived deeper into how he felt and what he wanted from you with this underlying fear that you wouldn’t give it back to him.

“You know I have another year for my degree here.”

He nodded and one of his curls fell into his eyes even despite that athletic headband of his he always wore. Your hands itched to fit it back into place but you left it there afraid that it would deter the conversation.

“I know, I know. And I’d never ask you to leave for me. I just...want you in my life as much as possible. Always. And I think maybe with music, with whatever happens, that it could be a while before I’m home. Home both literally, like home,home in Canada. But also home like...like you. And so when it’s all set and done I guess I just hope that you’ll still want me.”

There was a stutter in the rhythm of your heart that Shawn never failed to make happen. And the love that you felt for him was so strong and so overwhelming that you wondered how he could vocalize it so well sometimes. It felt like your heart couldn’t fit in your chest. It felt full and heavy and sometimes just looking at him made it hurt to breathe. And yet it was the most incredible experience for you and you didn’t want any of it to change. But at the same time you wanted to grow and evolve and become something differently entirely, with him.

You lifted your body slightly so that you were propped up on his chest. Your hands settled over his heart and he quickly reached to cover your hand with his own. You couldn’t help but smile because it was ridiculously sappy and so Shawn.

“Are you trying to ask me to run away to Canada with you?” You grinned.

He laughed biting gently at his bottom lip. “Maybe. So, what if I was?”

“Do you think we’ve known each other long enough to make that kind of decision?”

“I don’t know...But I’m not sure that I really care.” He shrugged. “I love you. I’ve known you long enough to know that. How much longer do you want me to wait?”

He was confident and sure in his stance. It was one of the things that had attracted you to him the most, was his ability to always seem like he knew things would work out somehow. It made it difficult to question him, which meant he got his way a lot of the time. But it usually meant you got your way too, even if you were too scared to vocalize it.

“I’ll make you a deal. Ask me when I graduate”

He frowned at you. “How is that a deal for me?”

“Because when you ask me, maybe I’ll say yes.”

“Baby, as much as I think you are smarter than me in literally every topic in the world, I think you may be confused on this one.”

“Let me finish asshole.” You snorted. “Ask me about Canada when I graduate...But for now, what if I promised that until you graduate we’ll live together. And that when you do, if you still want to, we could...maybe find a place together?”

His eyes widened and his face turned all soft and child-like. He reached for one of your curls twirling it effortlessly around his finger.

“You’d move in with me?” He asked.

“Well I kind of live with you already now don’t I?” You smiled. “But yes, I’d live with you if you wanted. I’m not in the business of waiting for the things I want in life.”

“You can have me, if you want. You can have all of me.”

And he said it, like he said most things when it mattered, with complete and utter sincerity in his voice. It was unwavering and you knew that he meant and believed every word that he said. Your heart felt full in that moment and you couldn’t help but lean forward and capture his lips with your own. It was magical and wonderful and completely natural all at once in a way nothing was supposed to be, but things with him always were.

“I just might have to take you up on that.”

The rest of the day is spent in the sand, or in the water, or in the sun, or a combination of all the above. He let you wrap your body around him like an octopus and didn’t get tired and throw you to the fishes. Your affection was easily matched by his and every touch that you gave he gave right back ten fold. With your arms and legs wrapped around him, he cupped your ass in his over large palms, dragging you through the water with a look of love so strong on his face that your cheeks warmed more than the sun could ever accomplish. The beach was deserted except for the occasional jogger and you both took full advantage of the semi-public privacy that you had. No students. No Andrew. No Roger. What were a boy and a girl to do?

“You’re so beautiful.” He mumbled moving the wet knotted strands of your hair out of your face.

His smile was so bright and his eyes followed your every move, every twitch like you were art in motion. You wanted to be in his arms, wanted to be consumed and ravished by him just as long as you could give him the same in return. You pressed your lips against his neck humming gently and smiled so that your teeth touched his skin when his whole body shivered.

“You don’t know what the sounds you make do to me.”

You batted your eyelashes at him all innocence and sugar.

“Maybe you could show me?”

His eyes widened and he looked around to see if anyone was near to notice your sinfulness.

“Baby.” He said in a sing-song, incredulous voice. “In public?”

“I mean that depends on what you determine to be ‘in public’.” You shrugged.

He chuckled. “I think a public beach counts as as in public, honey.”

You rolled your eyes in spectacular, sassy fashion.

“Yes, Shawn, I get that. But say...if you were to take me under the docks over there with our perfectly concealable beach blanket, how public would that be?”

His jaw twitched as he looked for words to say to you. It was moments like these where you truly felt like you were traumatizing this poor Canadian boy.

“I don’t--I just… sometimes I don’t know what to say to you.” He sighed gripping you closer in the water.

He began to walk backwards taking you closer to land as the water level went from your chests to down by your thighs.

“Where are you taking us?” You asked still very much holding on to your boyfriend.

He rolled his eyes. “Where do you think I’m taking us? To the goddamn docks.”

You laughed at his response and simply held on tighter, as Shawn would always do everything in his power to make sure you got whatever you needed.

* 15 minutes later*

“Cold hands! Cold hands!” You giggled.

Your fingers clenched in his hair and you instinctively tried to close your legs only to find that his head was between them. Shawn gripped your thighs in his hands settling them over his shoulders so that he could see you better and vocalize his complaints.

“You just pulled me out of the ocean so that I can eat you out, babe. You are in no position to complain about the temperature of my hands.”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a little grouchy when you’re eating pussy?”

“Very funny. Just for that you only get to cum once.”

Your eyes widened.

“Shawn!”

“Once, and that’s it! We are still very much in public, and I have a record deal with a contract that probably has a clause somewhere that says no eating your girlfriend out in public.”

“Contract, shmontract. Please proceed though.”

Shawn ate pussy like it was God’s pleasure to earth. And it was. His hands roamed your thighs, your belly, up to cup your breasts, and would sometimes find their way intertwined with your fingers. He would lick with precision and care and tenderness until you were sobbing, and you always sobbed. Something about his tongue, which had the ability to form words that could make your heart burst with love, could also make you burst from somewhere deeper within. And as sexy and erotic as it was to see those curls between your thighs, it also just made you feel warm everywhere. He loved you so fiercely it could sometimes be overwhelming, especially when he pinned your hips into the sand and slurped from your being like it was a life force. He nuzzled his face into your thigh, wet chin and cold teeth against your skin, both of you just as out of breath as could be.

“Once. I guess I can do once.” You huffed.

Shawn trailed his fingers along your hip and was perfectly pleased with himself when your back arched in response.

“I love you.You have no idea how beautiful you are to me.” ” He murmured kissing your knee. “Every part of you tastes so good.”

“Jesus Christ Shawn.”

You felt him smile into your skin again and it made your body thrum. Let no one ever forget that Shawn was just as bad as you, just with a softer, more Canadian face to hide it.

“When I eat you out until your lips are red and swollen, until your body is literally blushing for me…” He hummed. “Baby, you’re so good to me, cum so good for me.”

…..Rude.

You looked down at him between your legs, curls wet and frizzy, and wondered how anyone could be so simultaneously adorable and deadly at the exact same time.

“Are we done here?” You asked still slightly breathless and buzzed.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean if you’re not fucking me right here, right this second, you need to take me home...like now.”

He snorted. “Babe--”

“Shawn I have never been so serious in my whole life.”

He hid his face in your thigh as he chuckled only making you squirm and wiggle more, the bastard. Your favorite, and simultaneously least, thing about Shawn was that he was on the shyer, more sensitive side, but with a little prodding and stroking--no inundo intended--he really seemed to have this uber confident side of him that would release itself in the sexiest of times.

“What if I let you drive you home and see how many times I can make you cum on the interstate?”

Like….

What does one even say to that?

You blinked at him, throat dry, and toes curling against his back.

“I--We don’t have a towel… your jeep.” You sputtered.

“We can use one of the beach towels...Wanna take care of you.” He mumbled teeth grazing your thigh again.

In was in that moment that you fully understood the phrase, “there’s a fine line between love and hate”. You loved him. You love him with every fiber of your being, but damn did you hate him for what he could do to your body. Even just lying there your whole being was thrumming. Your legs twitched restlessly and your thighs felt so fucking sensitive with every brush of his mouth. You hated him because you’d do anything that made him happy, and it was so overwhelming to love someone more than yourself, to prioritize another being over yourself. It felt like the opposite of instinct, and yet here you were. It just so happened that what he wanted more than anything in the world was to make you cum so hard your knees shook.

“I don’t want to go home yet. I want to spend the day with you away from campus.” He admitted softly.

He had sat up in the sand and turned away from you to give you privacy while you tugged your bikini bottoms up, because only Shawn could promise to set a record for orgasms on the highway and then blush when you were getting dressed.

“Okay. We can always have sex later tonight.” You shrugged pulling your tank top back on.

“That’s very cute baby, but I still have every intention of fingering you on the highway. I just don’t want you to drive home when I do it.”

“...You are honestly becoming more like me every day and I hate it.”

He sent you a wicked glint and a laugh before helping you out of the sand and towards the car. You load your bags into the back seat, Shawn’s guitar getting its own seat to itself. You close the door just in time to witness Shawn placing one of the folded beach towels in the driver’s seat with the precision of a man who genuinely did care about the wellbeing of said vehicle.

He noticed you watching and grinned before handing you the keys.

“Try not to cum too hard babe, I just got it cleaned.”

The annoying part is that at first he doesn’t even touch you. He let you drive, allowed you to move onto the interstate, even turned on one of his many playlists that he made for you. In fact it’s not until a certain song comes on that your ears instantly perk and your whole body straightens. Girls Need Love. You’d never heard of it until one day Shawn had decided that the only way to get through a rough week of tests, rehearsals, and meetings for the both of you was Harry Potter and fucking by candlelight. It had been on that playlist, and he made you cum four times. Your body was reacting to the song, was reacting to the way his hands had touched your body. It was a physical memory. One that had your toes curling in your shoes, and your thighs squeezing precariously together.

He slid out of his seatbelt and moved across the center console so that he was pressed up against your side. His skin was warm and he smelled of salt, sunscreen, and the cherry jolly rancher he’d eaten earlier. It was a visceral reaction. You were so gone for him it was actually ridiculous.

Honestly, I'm tryna stay focused

His fingers slid along the length of your summer dress, material bunching around your thighs.

You must think I've got to be joking when I say

I don't think I can wait

His nose skimmed your neck, and he kissed as the places he’d touch you, lips creating a fire along your skin.

I just need it now

Better swing my way

You’re wet before you’ve even gotten the chance to understand what’s going on. And he knows it because he knows you, knows your body intimately in a way that you’re not even capable of understanding. He sees you better than you can see yourself and he’s taking full advantage of that fact

“You’re so beautiful, baby.” He sighed.

And then his middle finger teased as your folds which were just barely covered by your bathing suit.

I just need some dick

I just need some love

“Shawn.” You mumbled fingers tightening around the wheel.

“Tell me what you need, sweetheart. Tell me how to make it good.”

The fact that the car hasn’t swerved off the side of the road yet is honestly a miracle in itself.

You took one hand off the wheel, covering his too large palm with your own and leading him directly where you needed him to be. He circles the tip of his finger around until he’s slick enough to slide right inside, and it’s already too much. Your hips tilt up and your throat feels dry and he’s fucking breathing against your neck like he’s just as worked up as you are.

“That’s it, sweetheart.” He mumbled snaking his other arm around your waist. “So good for me.”

His words are soft and they melt against your ear like ice cream. For a minute you just want to pull over to the side of the road and fall into his arms. It feels like something that is slow and nurturing and a gift. So, you forget that that was never his intention until the chorus kicks in again and he’s suddenly plunging into your being in a way that you could never have prepared yourself. The way that your sitting has his finger curved right there and he’s not letting up at all.

“W--Wait, wait, fuck Shawn!”

You squirmed helplessly in your seat, one hand on the wheel as the other latched onto his wrist. He was either going to kill you through orgasm or car accident. At this point who knew which one might be more explosive.

“Let it happen.” He whined playfully into your ear. “Let me get you off.”

His teeth nipped playfully at your ear lobe and he leaned up on the edge of his seat for better leverage. His palm was hitting your clit and his fingers were rubbing incessantly against the bundle of nerves inside of. Your foot definitely slid on the gas pedal sending the engine roaring and the car shooting forward as your body convulsed around his fingers.

“GODDAMMIT!”

Out of the corner of your eye you saw his jaw tense and his eyes flutter as you pulsed around him. He always enjoyed your pleasure just as much as you did, which only made it that more enjoyable.

You swerved the car onto the next exit despite Shawn’s complaints of it not being the right one, but if you didn’t pull over soon someone was sure to notice that an absolute maniac was operating a vehicle in the middle of the highway.

When the car was parked and your thighs were still quivering you peered over at your boyfriend with lust and wonderment in your eyes. He grinned dopely at you before sliding one of his damp, overly long digits between his lips. Jesus.

“Why’d you pull over baby?” He asked. “I was just getting started.”

He makes you cum two more times before you’re allowed to get back on the highway. You leave the car with your skin flushed redder than the sun could ever cause and your knees still incredibly weak and jelly like. His hands find your hips, steadying you to make walking easier. And for the rest of the day he’s never not touching you in some way or another. And it’s kind of the most incredible feeling in the world.

***

“Let’s go to the record store.”

His arm was wrapped around your shoulders and he tugged you toward this tiny hole in the wall shop that had crates full of records just spilling from every corner of the store. There was barely anyone in the shop, which meant they just got to explore the entire store together in peace.

“Show me an album that made you who you are.” Was his first question.

So you broke off from one another searching aimlessly around the store. Every now and again you’d peak over at him scrolling through records and he’d be bopping his head to whatever song that was playing over the speakers, and you couldn’t help but smile. No one had any right to be so fucking cute.

“Are you ready?”

You each hid your arms behind your backs counting to three before you pulled out your records to show each other.

Shawn’s was Freudian by Daniel Cesar.

“It taught me what love songs were meant to be about. I learned how to be honest with myself about what I needed and what I wanted. And I think it showed me what it means to be vulnerable both as a lover and as a person.” He shrugged.

Your’s was Vices and Virtues by Panic at the Disco.

“This was like… angsty teenage, let me die please, y/n.” You chuckled as he ran his fingers over the vinyl. “I was--fuck I was so lonely. And not in the physical sense even. I had my family and I had friends and shit but like… my heart just felt lonely. It was like I was floating off into space and I couldn’t come down, could grab hold of anything. And this record felt like it tethered me somehow. For just an hour or however long it was, I felt more rooted than ever before.”

He slid his hand upon your cheek and kissed the bridge of your nose. You couldn’t explain to him how when you were with him it felt like you were floating in the best way possible. But, only because you never had a doubt in the world that he’d pull you back down when it was ready. It all felt overwhelmingly good. Being with him was a feeling unlike any other.

“You’re so beautiful,” He whispered quietly against your ear. “I love you. And any moment spent making you happy is how I want to spend my time.”

You smiled up at him and nuzzled your forehead into his neck just for a second, just to feel the warmth.

You ask him to show you an album that makes him wanna dance. He brings you Off the Wall by Michael Jackson. You give him The Fame by Lady Gaga. There’s a really intense sing along to Disco Stick. You’re pretty sure the staff want you to leave. He tells you to bring him the best album to make love to. He brings you Channel Orange by Frank Ocean. You bring him Let’s Get in On by Marvin Gaye. It definitely gives you both ideas for later.

Eventually you just start sharing music. It’s when Shawn’s at his happiest and you love it just as much. You buy way too many records and grab each other’s asses behind a stack of crates. It’s the happiest you’ve been in a while, when he kisses you in the nineties alt-rock section, when he sings Whitney's I Wanna Dance With Somebody in your ear. You’re in your own little world and it’s the most incredible feeling. Because it’s just you and him and the university doesn’t matter, Roger doesn’t matter, nothing can ruin what you’ve got going between you.

You go to a restaurant with a view for dinner. He tangles his legs with yours under the table and he holds your hand until the food comes. You drink wine and laugh at one another for the silliest things. When you get home your bubble is impenetrable. You practically float to the shower to wash away the sand and sunscreen. He holds you in his arms under the warm water and kisses you until your breathless, until the only oxygen you have is the the air you share between your kisses. He bites down on your bottom lip and a moan leaves your mouth. You wrap yourself tighter around him, the thought of letting go inconceivable.

Later, when your hair is still wet, and the water hasn’t completely dried from your body he chases the leftover drops with the flat of his tongue. He makes your body a meal, sucking heavy marks into the most sensitive parts of your flesh. When your nipples have hardened he runs his teeth along the sensitive buds until you’re aching for him, crying out for him.

He slides his head between your thighs and his curls are still damp and cold, contrasting sinfully with the heat coming from between your legs. You cum on his mouth and dig your fingers into his shoulders because no one’s ever made you feel this good before. No one’s ever played your body as well as he can.

And he enters you slowly, filling you up divinely until your thighs are clenching in utter fulfillment.

“I love you so much sweetheart.” He whispered when his hands are gripping you just right and he’s pulling you deeper into him, filling you endlessly.

You whine into his clavicle pulling at his curls; he’s touching you just right and your body is absolutely on fire for him. It feels so fucking good.

“P--Please baby. Fuck me so good. Like only you can.”

“Only me?”

“Only you.”

He throws his leg over yours, knee digging into the bed above your hip. It gives him all the leverage in the world and he begins to hit something carnal inside of you, something that has your body gushing for him.

“Oh my god, Shawn yes!”

“Come for me baby, cum right on my dick, please baby?”

His hip buckle down and he strokes in and out of you harder and faster, squeezing at your thigh with one and rubbing at your clit with the other. You burst from with like a peach so ripe it oozes. And he sucks your release from within you like it is just as sweet, if not sweeter. You reach for him, tugging incessantly at the condom until it’s just the weight of him in your palm. The effect you have on him has your body ready to go another round and you haven’t even gotten him off yet. He whines and begs in your ear as you jerk him, firm and purposefully directly underneath the head.

“Fuck y/n! I need to cum, sweetheart. Please let me cum.”

He’s flustered and pink all over and you can feel his hard on throbbing in your first

“Where? Where do you wanna cum, Shawn?”

You were usually the one with the power in bed, because he liked to please and you like being pleased. So his eyes widened and he looks shy and insecure and it only makes you want to make it better for him.

“Can I--Can I cum in your mouth?”

You aren’t ready for the effect it has on him. Neither was he. You went down on him plenty but never like this, never with his body above you, never with him getting to position his hips, getting to control the pace that it goes at. He leans above you, cupping your jaw as you let him enter, and his eyes roll back in his head as your close your lips around his length.

“That’s it. Holy shit, that’s it!”

His voice goes horse, his fingers knot in your hair, and he looks like he can barely hold himself up. It is the most erotic sight in the world to watch him fall apart like that, to watch him in pleasure only because of what you’re capable of. He reached behind his back, his fingers sliding inside your already drenched and stretched pussy rubbing tenderly at the spot that without fails gets you to fall apart. You moan, vocal cords vibrating around him and he only manages to slide deeper into your mouth. Your fingers dig ruthlessly into his hips pulling him deeper and rougher against you. He cries out and you know that he’s close because his fingers are working their sloppy magic on you too. And when he comes it’s not without making you squirt all over the bed spread, his fingers still dripping when he grabs at your head. He grunts, low, whiny and desperate, as his orgasm runs through him. And then your collapsing on the bed beside each other, used, sticky, and sated. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

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bandblogging · 6 years ago

Text

We can be a mess together (Ashton Irwin imagine)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin X Reader

Sum.: After a night out you weren't sure what happened what happened between you and him and in the meantime you confessed your love to him but it won't work out at first.

Words: 3476 (whoops)

Warning: swearing

A/N: tbh swearing in imagines should just be given in my writing, also I am still shit at summaries. I wanted to post this all week but idk it just took forever to write 'cos idk

______

When you woke up you felt incredibly uncomfortable. You were way too hot, a body was laying half on you, almost crushing you. Your bladder was about to burst and you felt a headache approach. You tried to shove the body from yours and when you finally got out of the bed you rushed to the bathroom.

When you re-entered the bedroom you stared at the bed for a while trying to understand what had happened. The person laying there was nobody new to you and you had spent multiple nights sleeping next to him but it felt different this time. The way he was laying there in only his underwear, his hair ruffled and covering his face. Ashton was still half covered by the blanket and his chest was raising evenly, indicating he was still sleeping. Clothes were threwn around the room and you were too only in your underwear.

You could remember leaving the party with Ashton and Luke and getting a taxi back to the hotel. After that you couldn't remember anything anymore, not even leaving the car. You were in Ashton's hotel room and so you had no other choice than putting on your old clothes again. You tried to distract yourself but you couldn't stop thinking about all the things that could have happened. You have had a secret crush on him for a while now and the thought of sleeping with him because you were drunk made you worry. If that really happened it would become incredibly awkward between you two, especially if you couldn't remember anything.

You had found your phone in your purse together with your hotelroom keycard. After collecting all your stuff you walked towards the door but before even getting there your heard shuffling behind you. Ashton had sat up and leaned on the headboard of the bed, "Are you leaving?" You turned around, shoes and purse in hand, your hair and makeup in a mess, "Don't you think it's awkward enough already?" He raised an eyebrow and rubbed his eyes, "What are you talking about?" "Don't play with me Ashton, I can't remember anything and I wake up in just my underwear", you open the door and wanted to leave before it became mortifying. Before you closed the door you heard a 'What?' and some more shuffling behind you but you walked down the hallway as fast as you could. When you entered your room you let your things fall to the ground and hid your face in your hands.

A few minutes later you were standing in the shower trying to wash off last night's makeup. You shed a few tears, not knowing how to feel or what to think. When you finally left the shower and got dressed again, you checked your phone. There was a text from Ashton at the top of your notification. 'Please let me in, I can explain this', it was sent 5 minutes ago. You took a deep breath and decided to check if he was still there, hoping for an innocent explanation. In the back of your mind you didn't think he would be waiting there, why would he wait for more than 5 minutes without knowing if you would even want to talk to him.

To your surprise he was sitting next to the door when you opened it. He looked up and stood up quickly. "Y/N", he walked into your hotel room and closed the door behind you two. "I'm sorry I didn't realize what you meant earlier", he sat down next to you on the bed and took your hand. "But what happened Ash? I can't remember anything after getting in that taxi with you guys. I don't know what was in that last shot but damn I woke up in your bed and I don't know", you shook your head in confusion. "Y/N! You fell dead asleep in that car. I carried you into the hotel and because I didn't know where your room was I took you to mine. And the reason you were undressed is simply because I didn't want you to sleep in uncomfortable clothes all night.", he sounded sincere but there was almost a hint of anger in his voice that you didn't expect. "I'm sorry", you let your head hang low, you felt stupid for thinking that anything else would have happened. "Did you", he took a deep breath clenching his hand around yours, "Did you really think I would do anything else? That I would use you or take advantage of you being drunk?" He looked at you with gritted teeth and your stomach turned into a knot. You felt nauseous and guilty, a part of you obviously didn't believe that you two would have done anything but when you woke up and couldn't remember everything you simply felt a little unsure. "No not really, I don't know. I'm sorry I just I had no idea what happened and I didn't trust myself, to be honest.",your cheeks turned red and all you wanted to do was to pull your hand away from his because it felt like it was burning up. His expression softened slightly but there was still this look of anger on his face. " What do you mean? I would never take advantage of you, you should know that!", the tone of his voice sounded like dissapointment and anger at the same time. Your eyes darted around the room trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible. You couldn't stand the look that was on his face, it hurt you to see him like this, because of you. You took a deep breath, trying to form a sentence that made sense.

"I was worried that me being drunk meant that I would do something that I would never have the courage to do when I am sober", your head hang low, still trying to avoid eye contact.

"I don't understand you? What do you mean? Why for once, Y/N, why can't you just say what you mean?", you saw him shaking his head in the corner of your eye. You were internally hating yourself for being so stupid, you should never have said anything, never have acted this way. But now after contemplating what to say for a minute the only thing that felt right was to tell him out front what you meant, what you felt.

You lifted your head and immediately felt him staring at you, you sighed and swallowed hard. "Ashton...I.", you spoke quietly and spaced out, still trying to figure out the right words. "I didn't know if I admitted something that I have kept a secret for months now. I was afraid that I blew my chance by being too direct or by starting something in a way that I didn't want this to start.", you had to take deep breaths in between to keep your composure. "Don't look at me like that! I will come to the point", you rolled your eyes at him but his confused expression didn't change. "What I want to say is that I wasn't sure if I told you that I fucking", you stood up and paced in front of him, " love you! And I didn't know if I made a move that I would never have the guts to do normally. But I guess it's out now." You kept pacing through the hotel room and you got more nervous the longer he didn't say anything. Seconds felt like hours and everytime he looked at you and back your stomach flipped again, making you nauseous.

It felt like hours had passes when he finally said something, "Will you stop pacing? You're gonna make me lose my mind!" You couldn't decipher wether it was anger, annoyance or something else in his voice. You stopped dead in your tracks and stood between him and the door. "Well will you fucking say something? Anything!", your voice sounded like a plea. For the first time during that whole conversation you held eye contact with him. You felt like he was staring straight into your soul and when he didn't say anything again your eyes welled up with tears. "Guess it's only me then", you turned on your heel opening the door and escaped onto the hallway.

You closed the door behind you and started to walk away from your hotel room. When you came to the end of the hallway you had to decide where to go, right and visit one of the others or left and leave the whole building. Your heart wanted you to go right, to get comforted by one of the others ; your head wanted you to go left, knowing you were the stupid one in this situation, you caused yourself this pain. You headed left, finally leaving the building after walking down what felt like an endless flight of stairs. The fresh air hit you and your nausea was at a new high.

Walking down the street, not knowing where you were or where to go, you felt like you had to keep walking. Your phone was buzzing a few times but you tried to ignore it. You ended up in a park probably around half an hour of walking alway from the hotel. The bench you were sitting on was still wet from the rain that morning but you didn't really care. Your head was heavy in your hands and even though you felt like crying no tears were coming out, as if to punish you, you couldn't even cry right.

It must have been at least another half an hour that you had been sitting on that bench when your phone buzzed again, this time you took it out of your pocket to check it. You had a few missed calls by Luke and Michael, a few text by Calum but obviously nothing by Ashton. Why would he?

You ignored them, you didn't even know what to think yourself and so their opinion would probably only make the situation worse.

The park was quite empty when you walked around it, only a few parents were playing with their children on the playground and you saw a couple of dogs being walked.

There was a quiet coffee shop at one of the exits and the smell pulled you towards it. The coffee was burning your hand but for some reason it almost felt comforting.

When you had thrown away the empty coffee cup you pulled your phone out by reflex. You were about to push it back into your pocket when it began to ring once again, Michael was calling. Ignoring him would only mean they would call even more and so you decided to finally answer his call. "Michael?", a sigh escaped you but you weren't sure if it had been loud enough for him to hear. "Fuck Y/N finally! Are you alright? We're all worried about you, where are you?", he talked fast and stumbled over some of his words. "I'm fine I guess", you put a special emphasis on the word 'fine' to tell him subliminally you really weren't. "I'm just getting some air, clearing my head a little", you knew it was a lie and he probably did too but you couldn't help it. You tried to sound as convincing as possible but there was no way that he didn't hear the undertone that your voice had taken on. "But where are you exactly?", the concerned tone in his voice startled you for a second. "Not important, why what is up? And if it is about going to the venue tonight, I really don't feel like it sorry", you tried your best at sounding oblivious about whatever he was hinting at but you were probably as good at that as a penguin was at flying. "Y/N! Ash came into my room completely distraught and muttering that he had apparently fucked up. What the fuck happened?", your heart dropped knowing that Ashton was upset because of your mistake. You should have never said anything.

______

Ashton P.O.V

He had waited in Y/N's room for a while, hoping she would come back eventually but she didn't. It took him a while for it to sink in what she had said, 'that I fucking love you'. It played in his mind over and over again. There was so much going through his head that he couldn't concentrate on one thought alone. Part of him wanted to run after her and to tell her to come back, that they would talk about. On the other side he really didn't know how to feel. A while ago he had crushed on her hard and wanted nothing more than to be with her. After nothing ever came from it he tried to suprress it as much as he could and now weeks and months later he didn't know if he still felt for her what he once did. His mind was racing and when he got to Michael's room it felt like his head was going to explore. "Michael! I think I fucked up", he let himself fall against the blonde boy hoping he would catch him. "I should have said something Mikey. Fuck!", Ashton shook his head, ironically starting to pace around the room just like he had told Y/N earlier to stop. He seemed to finally kind of understand her. It all started to make sense. "Y/N I should have told you, I always should have told you", he was muttering to himself and sat down on the bed. Michael was on his phone by now, calling Y/N by what Ashton could hear. He hoped that she was alright and that she would come back to the hotel, to him. There was so much that he should tell her that he probably wouldn't even know where to begin.

_____

"Please tell him to forget what I said and to I don't know just ignore it or something, I don't want it to be awkward!", you pressed the phone closer to your ear while walking through the park again. "No! I am not going to tell him anything, I don't even wanna know what happened, just come back here and talk it out like real adults", he sounded annoyed and so you agreed to come back to the hotel. You had already fucked up the relationship with one of the boys and so you didn't want to risk another one.

Around half an hour later you had arrived back at the hotel, your hands were clammy and your breathing wasn't as steady as it should be, you simply couldn't hide your nervousness.

Every step you took down the hallway towards Michael's room made your heart race even more and when you finally knocked on the door it felt like it was going to jump out of your chest.

"Y/N?", Ashton threw the door open fast when he saw you standing infront of him. "I... Will you come in?", he was stuttering slightly and you had never seen him this flustered before. You nodded your head and entered the room when he took a step to the side. Your first instinct was to go back to pacing up and down the room again but because of his words from earlier repeating in your mind over and over again you just stood still in one place. He closed the door and then leaned on the wall next to it, looking around the room.

"Ashton. I left because you wouldn't say anything, now Michael begged for me to come back and you are still saying nothing.", you sat down on the end of the bed. Ashton's eyes met yours but he still didn't look like he was about to speak up. "This is awkward enough for me, if I am leaving now, and I will if you stay silent, it won't just be for an hour", you shook your head and you sounded a little more aggravated than you wanted to.

"Y/N! It's just I don't know if I love you!", he pushed himself off of the wall and his sudden movement made your head shoot up. You thought a 'Yeah I gathered that much', but did not say it out loud. "I don't want to talk around it anymore. I have loved you before but I never had the guts to tell you and rather suppressed it. And now I don't know if I still feel for you what I once did. I want to, don't get me wrong, I really want to feel all of the again but I don't know if I can.", he kept eye contact the whole way through and even though you felt like escaping his piercing look you couldn't break the eye contact. It felt like he was staring into your soul and maybe even deeper. "Ash.", your voice was shaky and quiet when you spoke up. "I didn't and I don't want to pressure you into anything. I am sorry. I shouldn't have said anything", you slowly got up from the bed, keeping eye contact until you were standing in front of him.

He shook his head, "Don't be sorry! I'm the idiot, I should have said something months ago or at least today. And I feel like shit when I see you like this, because of me.", he stepped a little closer and took your hands into his. "I want to make you happy again, I want to feel it again.", his voice was low and there was this loving tone that you hadn't heard in a while.

"I just don't know if I can", your heart dropped and your stomach formed a knot again, it felt like he was playing with your feelings. You took a deep breath and tried to remove your hands from his grip but he was holding them tightly, "Well I don't know if you can either but I won't wait another few months for you to decide what you want. Either you can love me soon or it just won't work", in the middle of your sentence he had pulled you in closer so that you were leaning against his chest now. You could feel his fast heart beat and his hitched breathing. He let go of your hands and you were prepared to be pushed away again. Instead of that he placed his hands on your jaw and lifted your face up to his.

Before you could say anything he had pressed his lips against yours, his heartbeat got even faster, matching yours. You weren't sure if you should try and stop the kiss or lean deeper into it, you did not want to pressure him into feeling like he had to like you. When he pulled away he had his eyes closed and was humming lightly. "Ashton", you tried to sound as calm as possible, "You don't have to do that. Don't fake it, that will only makes it worse." Tears were filling your eyes and were close to spilling over when he pulled you back into a hug. "Ash please", you plead and hoped that he would let go of you.

He ignored you and took one of your hands again, lifting it up and pressing it against his chest. "Do you feel that?", he pushed the hair out of your face with his other hand and the way he looked at you made you feel dizzy. Under your hand you could feel his heart beating rapidly. You nodded and looked up to him. "You did that to me, in the best way possible.", he leaned his forehead against yours and you were a little confused by what he was saying. "I don't think I understand", it wasn't more than a whisper that escaped your lips before he pressed his against yours again. Your mind was racing making you feel overwhelmed, tears fell down your cheek and you couldn't help but sob in the middle of the kiss. Ashton pulled his head back and looked at you concerned, his thumb brushed away some of the tears but even more fell when he did that. "Y/N! I'm sorry, I just I thought you and I and I am sorry", he was stammering and tried to move away from you. You wrapped your arms around him not letting him leave yet.

"I want this but only if you actually want this too", you tried to suppress a sob but it still escaped. "I might be a mess but I want this. I want you", he wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you tightly to his body.

You had to mutter in his chest and weren't sure if he had heard you but you didn't care at this point, "We can be a mess together. "

_____

I feel like I need to apologise for this idk the idea for it changed like twenty times and I hope that none of you take offence by the beginning idfk

#5sos #Ashton irwin #5sos imagine #5sos x reader #ashton irwin imagine #Ashton irwin x reader #5 seconds of summer x reader #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer #A. I #A.I #Luke hemmings #Michael Clifford #Calum hood #Writing #Imagines #Bandblogging #fanfiction

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dilfhakyeon-moved · 6 years ago

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I wrote about death and Love

Just trying something out, not anything fandom-related ( or you can imagine it so if you want, but... that’s gonna be hard maybe lmao my mind went to at least three different fandoms while writing it and only one would maybe be fitting, but there’d be no characters for it except one )

Maybe I caught some of that Halloween spirit yeet yeet !

It’s set in a sort of fantasy setting if it can help understand why it can seem so,, heartless. and like. “we won’t do anything to help u”. it’s bc they Can’t bc they Don’t Know what to Do

there’s also a lot of confusion. that’s normal. i write like i’m writing a script for a film so don’t worry abt it if u don’t understand shit it’s bc i visualise everything and then i write it down without thinking about how shitty it will look hsfjdkhd

TW: death, sort of graphic description of stuff that’s kinda not cool ?, also stuff about someone who kinda goes so obsessed she can’t recognise reality I don’t know really but it’s macabre and depressing idk why I wrote that maybe it’s vent but idk why I’d write that to vent !! just. hm

Frozen. Here she lied ; was this truly her peace ? It couldn’t be. If herself wasn’t in peace, how could this bruised, cold skin and these pale, glassy eyes reflect any ? Glassy, they were. She was afraid of looking too long into them, might she see her own reflection in these gruesome mirrors. They were the mirrors of someone’s soul, once.

Tears fell next to them. She stood. A few seconds of reflection before a foggy breath left her, and she was kneeling back down.

Her frail hands were shaking as she took her cloak off, a deaf sob barely reaching her own ears as she carefully placed it on the other figure, covering shoulders and chest. She wished she could see her chest heave just another time.Not another time. More. She wished to see her blink, her eyes giving her stern but affectionate glare again ; she yearned to watch her as she took the cloak off and sat up, offering her a reassuring smile, and she stood, trying to rearrange her messy clothes ; she needed to see her move, as her skirt twirled around and her rare, but bright laughter seemed to echo comfortingly. Hearing her again. Feeling her breath and her gaze, and her words shooting through her mind in the worst ways, her fingers grazing her skin and sending a shiver down her spine. She wasn’t alone, she was fine.

Except she wasn’t. And she was alone, in her little world of fiction she was creating for herself - but in reality, there was no way she could be alone in such a place. However, the world around her had stopped existing, and soon, perhaps she would too. Only perhaps. Nothing in her seemed to show an ounce of concern over that, she hadn’t realised it yet. She wouldn’t realise it. Her mind was making her stare at saliva dripping from the mouth. A detail, but it hadn’t moved in hours at least. It was stuck, like stuck in time. But it wasn’t time, it was the cold. Time never truly stopped, only in people’s imagination.

Her fingers held a tighter grip over the cloak’s fabric, but one of them soon moved to rest on the body’s cold cheek. Colder than her own skin ; her body wanted to gasp, but didn’t have the strength to do so. Frozen.

“... out of here.”

The world still existed.

“Quick, get her out of here ! I won’t repeat myself a third time,” a harsh voice rang out, strong enough to wake her up. “If you leave her to die, I’ll make sure you meet the fate you deserve.”

She didn’t try to stand. She knew they were talking about her. They were always so careful, weren’t they... So caring. Her dark eyes narrowed. She slowly let herself rest on top of that body she cherished so much, closing her eyes - she felt herself go. Hands grabbed her shoulders and forcefully dragged her, she wasn’t nearly conscious enough to feel it. Her betrothed, dancing in a field, the war was over ; they laughed together. What war ? What was war ? Foreign... She laughed. The soldiers were distraught, but kept leading her away. Failing their mission meant death, especially with the war happening all around them. But she was so happy, in her field, with her loved one who’d never truly returned it, but love was blind, and love wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t as happy and beautiful as her grandmother’s tales had told her in such sweet lies. And she’d lied to herself. Love was beautiful.

They thought otherwise. Love was cold, and unforgiving. Love was made of stone, and breaking a person’s mind aroused Him in terrible, depraved ways. They’d been a victim of Him, just like the person they loved ; she’d succumbed, they stood their ground. They had to. They had to face Love, this merciless demon who couldn’t get enough of shattering every remaining piece of humanity in them. They endured the pain. Someone had to beat Love.

Up. Awake. Her eyes opened. The same ceiling made of stones... She was home. What relief. Minutes passed, then she moved. Stood from her bed, despite her leg giving in. She was standing ; she believed she was standing. She walked ; her body was crawling, but she was walking. Her entire left leg had lost its function to frostbite, but she believed she could walk. Looked around as she walked through different rooms, her smile constantly growing. She was home ! She only needed to find the one.

An endless maze. She never realised it. Everyone else did.

They watched. Everytime she came back to the room they were in, their gaze lowered. After a few hours, they had closed their eyes ; a friend came to check in, asked if all was okay, and was rejected. And once they were alone again, tears fell. Tears fell next to her as she came back, and left them in what they were forced to call “being alone”.

Could they refuse calling it “being alone”, if the only person there was unable to even notice your simple existence ? They were alone.

It stopped after three days.

She was stuck on the floor, laughing hysterically yet so painfully. She hadn’t stood a single time, but this time she was unable to move. All she could do was laugh, and call for her love. She was hungry, she was thirsty, they thought. They’d grown almost indifferent to this miserable, almost pathetic sight.

[ From the beginning, they’d known it would be yet another dramatic unrequited love story ; they’d sworn they wouldn’t pay too much mind to it. They wouldn’t trap themselves in attachment. Things had turned out in Love’s favour. They’d hated it. They hated Him. They’d hated how He made them feel, as what once had held a soul yearning for justice and truth became a well of insanity and suffering. Her smile had grown so much she didn’t resemble herself anymore.

“A crawlin’ monster on the carpet,” Love’d whispered in His husky, sultry voice, then snickered. “That’s what you’re thinkin’, boy. How could she end up like that ? You could’ve prevented it, nice guy.”

They’d clenched their jaw ; hadn’t responded. She wasn’t a monster ; she was long gone. And they’d never been a boy, nice guy. Love’d never listened, Love loved putting them through this. ]

But it wasn’t working on them anymore. Indifference, as aforementioned - things were easier to handle when their heart wasn’t being put into it. And somehow, Love had stopped tormenting them. All they felt anymore, was pity. There was nothing to be done ; they stayed there by habit. The walls around them didn’t change. The chair they were sitting on was still the same, and the people who bothered bring them some water and food occasionally were always the same.

Their eyes got lost after a few more hours ; as they stopped focusing and eventually fell asleep, she fell into a sleep deeper they’d ever known. Her last words weren’t words, a cry for help. A language they didn’t speak. They heard it in their dream. And as they woke up in the middle of the night, a last gift from Love awaited them : that macabre view. Her eyes still open, her mouth forever shaped into that terrifying grin she’d worn last, and the saliva dripping from her chin.

They stood. Walked closer. Love hadn’t left, just hidden. Maybe Love had won. Maybe they didn’t care anymore. The world seemed to stop existing, as they kneeled next to the body. She was cold, wasn’t she ? They could feel the cold ; their hands were shaking. She must’ve been cold as well. They took their coat off, draped it over her. The door opened, a voice spoke. They heard a scream, but did they really hear it ?

Or, were they stuck in their world where they were alone with their loved one both laughing and dancing in a field, when in reality they were alone without her - and their only company was the fight occurring, as the fortress was being invaded ?

It was likely they were unaware of reality.

Frozen.

Tag list: - @graceful-popcorn - idk who else would wanna be tagged in that tbh dhgkjdg

#angst #writing #tw death mention #death description #androlomew writes stuff #it isn't that long tbh the one ralbert thing with them as farm boys was double

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thirstyfortom · 7 years ago

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I was surprised somebody wanted to see this, tbh :p but I loooove DNCE, so why not?

RFA + Saeran quoting DNCE

Zen

The two of you were at a party. His colleagues told him it was just a little get together, but NO, it was a big crowded party

He didn’t want to stay if you weren’t feeling it, but you brushed it off, telling him it would be good for both of you doing some networking and why not? Having fun.

But Zen would rather have some different kind of fun, just the two of you… alone… at his place… you know.

But he didn’t want to be super obvious about it, and it looked like you were enjoying the small talk with some acquaintances, so he called you as he watched you from the bar. “Hello?”

“Side by side, walking home, stumbling home, getting curious: What’s on your mind?” “Right now? Huh… I’m wondering what you’re talking about…”

“Cause what’s on mine, a dirty mind, why so serious?” “I’m not serious, Zen, I’m just confused. What are you saying?”

“Babe, the stars above will light the way, just take my hand and hear the words I say…” “It sounds like you’re saying the lines from a musical” you giggle “Okay, I’m down for this, go on…”

“Come and roll with me, we’ll rock them body moves. Me and you, body moves.” “Oh… so you want to… dance, right?” “Coming home with me, oh babe, let it loose! Me and you… body moves.”

“Oh… I get it.” He chuckles imagining how flustered you are right now. “Zenny, if you needed to go home so much, you could have just said…you…” “I don’t need it, but you know how bad I want it…” Shit, his voice is so sexy…

You start walking, looking around to find him, but he’s nowhere to be seen. It takes you to get outside to feel someone embracing you from behind. It’s Zen, burying his face in the nape of your neck and grinding against you lightly. You let a small gasp as you feel how bad he wants it. “What’s wrong, babe?” “N-nothing. Let’s just get out of here, you… gotta know that I’m feeling this…”

Yoosung

It’s been the third night on a roll you stayed over, but went home before he could wake up.

You’re not doing it to be a jerk, is just… he looks so tired and so cute in his sleep you don’t want to wake him up, and you need to change your clothes because people are vicious and talk about stuff like that at your workplace.

And though he understands all this… he really wants you to stay for real, waking up by his side, having breakfast with him and then he can go to college and you can work feeling ready and refreshed in the morning.

But boy blushes just to the thought of asking you, so he remembers that song you’ve been listening a lot and calls you: ”Baby, you don’t have to rush! You could leave a toothbrush at my place!” “Well, uhm… good morning, Yoosung!”

“We don’t need to keep it hush, you could leave a toothbrush at my place…” “Oh, is this because I said I was going to use yours? Don’t worry, honey, it was just a joke, this would be gross and…”

“When you’re standing there in your underwear and my t-shirt from the night before.” Oh… that escalated quickly… “Yoosung, are you okay?”

Of course he’s not! He’s read as a beet, but boy is determined to say at least all the bridge: “With your messed up hair and your feet still bare… would you mind closing the bedroom door?”

“Oh… is this about the last nights, honey? Please don’t be hurt, I just don’t to wake you up! And you know I have to work early in the morning, I can’t go there with the same clothes from the day before, people are mean and gossip a lot, you know? But I… really like spending the night with you…”

“I don’t want this to end and there’s no need to play pretend. If you stay with me again, would you mind closing the bedroom door?” “What do you mean by not wanting this to end? Yoosung, you’re…?”

“I… yes, MC, you could leave a toothbrush and all your belongings at my place… Would you mind… moving in with me?”

Jaehee

Okay, this woman is a completely different person now from who she used to be.

She smiles a lot more, hums her favorite songs while baking and even dances around her room.

Lately, there isn’t a single thing that can take this sunshine smile away from her face. Not even this chaotic rainy day after a night getting turnt with you at a bar.

You’ve texted her about getting a little late to the cafe due to the storm and she can feel your frustration even through some mindlessly typed words. So… why not calling you to bright up your spirit a little?

“Today is gonna be a good day! Don’t care what anybody else say!” “Jaehe? Hi! Yes, the trains still aren’t working, I don’t know when will I see you, I’m sorry… ugh… and this damn hangover… how are you, by the way?”

“Advil, good pill. Head pounds like the bass at the party bus.” “What? Yes, the bus isn’t working either! I just asked how were you doing? Are you feeling well?”

“I feel like a million bucks in a toilet, my head to my toes to my soul has been poisoned!” “Shit, that bad, huh? I’m so sorry if I made you drink too much…”

“Living proof that even when your whole life has been destroyed, you still can enjoy it!” “Oh… I… I’m not sure if you’re just being dramatic or getting all emotional again like last night…”

“Today it’s gonna be a good day! Don’t care what anybody else say!” “Yeah, you’ve already said that… wait! Jaehee, are you still drunk?”

“What? No, silly! I just remembered this song you sang at the karaoke last night…” “Oh, you remember? Ugh… so embarrassing!” she chuckles “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, not in a good day like this!” “How can you keep saying it’s a good day, Jaehee?” “Well, it’s always a good day for me ever since you came along…” NNNNG YOU GOTTA SEE HER EVEN IF IT MEANS YOU’LL HAVE TO PUSH THE TRAIN BY YOURSELF!

Jumin

You’ve fallen sick. Nothing too alarming, just a small flu.

Not to him, he’s so concerned he keeps calling Jaehee to check on you every 30 minutes.

Of course he would check on you himself, but… unfortunately, he’s abroad for a business trip, which only adds more to his concerns.

And everytime he calls, he sounds so guilty and upset for not being there for you, and now you’re feeling guilty for getting sick and making him worry so much. Oh… he never wanted to make you feel bad.

No, next time he calls, it will be to calm you down and make you feel good! Yes! What was that song from that group you like? Oh… “Hello?”

“Lady, do you feel okay? Is it hard to breathe? Hard to sleep? Getting weaker every day…” “Jezz honey, I already told you it’s just a flu, calm down.”

“Need something to ease the pain? You can count on me for a fee…” “What… what do you mean?” you chuckle nervously, knowing that when he starts with this sultry tone, there’s no going back.

“You’re gonna need a real good doctor…” Yes, he already came and prescript some vitamins.”

“Doctor Me…whenever you feel the fever burning hotter, call me…” “Jumin, I… okay, I really miss you…” seriously, there’s no going back!

“Yes, my princess, I’m going to make you feel better when I get home, but I suppose there’s a way to make you feel good for now…” this man… only him to make you feel sexy with a running nose and swollen eyes…

Saeyoung

He’s worried because you seemed a little gloom the last few days

You told him is just a problem with your father and are already on it, but everytime he calls you, you seem even sadder.

It’s hurting him! Because it isn’t fair! Just now that his brother is stable and living a normal life? No more family drama! Family is supposed to be about support, happiness… just like the one he’s starting with you and Saeran.

And he knows all about the problem with your father, it’s always the same problem with him and his… cheating tendencies, and yet, there you go once again to cool things off between him and your mother.

You tell him how draining this is, and he feels bad for you thinking that this is your responsibility when it’s not. No, he needs to take you away from this mess just a little…

“Baby, put on your high heels, runnin’ shoes and let’s just run away!” “Saeyoung?” “Yeah, I got the plan to kill your blues and all it take sit’s just you and me!” “Blues? Why? I’m not sad…anyway, what are you up to?”

“I got a full tank lady and I’m ready to drive! I got a full tank baby, just look up at the sky!” “Ah yes… the stars always calm you down, right? Well, it won’t hurt if I try, I guess…”

“You said that you hated here, so why don’t we disappear? If you want to go the moon, I’ll take you there, baby, zoom!” “Oh… I thought we would be going there only in our wedding… anyway, I… don’t hate in here, Saeyoung, but… thanks.”

“Where you going? I’m going too!” “S-seriously? Will you come to my parents’ house and stay with me? Oh, I… I would be so happy! You have no idea!”

“Yes, don’ worry! I’m coming! Do you mind if I bring Saeran with me?” “Oh, not at all! I would love to have you both here! Thank you, honey!” he feels his heart fluttering from how much your tone has already changed from happiness “Nah, no need to thank me, what is family for, anyway?”

Saeran

Okay, he loves you

But sometimes it annoys him as hell when you treat him like a baby! He’s your boyfriend, not your son!

Yes, he’s aware that his recovery is a journey and all, but he’s being pretty normal these days, having a normal relationship with you. But it’s not normal how you always refrain yourself from flirting with him because you’re worried he might not be ready for this.

Actually, what worries him is that you might be… scared of him. And this is something he wouldn’t be able to live with.

No, he can be a cool guy who you can have fun with. You know, just like the people in that weird music video you showed him with the giant cake at the beach! So he calls you

“Oh no! Seeing you walk around like it’s a funeral! Not so serious, girl, why those feet cold?” “What are you saying, Saeran? I… I’m confused…” “We’re just getting started, don’t you tiptoe!”

“Saeran, are you… okay? You’re not making much sense, and I… get worried when this happens, you know…” “Talk to me, baby!”

“Talk to you? Hum, okay… what are you doing right now?” “I’ll keep on hoping we’ll eat cake by the ocean!” “Oh… that would… be fun! I would love to go to the beach with you one day!”

“God damn! See you licking frosting from your own hands! Want another taste, I’m begging ‘yes, maa’m’! I’m tired of all this candy in the dry land” he listens you clearing your throat, oh… are you getting flustered? Good.

“Yeah, I’m tired of dry land too. So, uhm… what exactly are you trying to tell me?” “Only if you tell me what you’re really thinking…” “Right now? Oh, I’m uhm… thinking of the beach thing, I… would really like to see you on shorts…and… nothing else…” he smirks: “Okay, let’s go to the beach then! I’ll wear shorts and you bring the cak… no, bring ice cream, it’s better!”

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger hcs #mystic messenger zen #hyun ryu #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #dnce

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whyshanti · 5 years ago

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twenty nineteen. periodt.

i genuinely felt the need to write this because i was bored i have not written anything in a really long time. but mostly because there’s only a few who might read this and not care afterwards. it sucks to not be able to do something that i used to enjoy for quite a while. but here i am!

a lot of thoughts to unburden and a lot of unspoken feelings to unpack. let’s get to it, bih.

1. this year felt like it was dragging on. i wanted it to end asap.

so this year, i actually had A LOT of time. where did it go?

to: movies, series, anime, music, watching youtube videos, breakdowns, feeling stuck & paralyzed, academics, reading articles about pop culture & mainstream shit, going out with friends, chatting random ppl at night bc i thought i could trust them (and some of them, i can), and etc.

but on a more serious note, i really was more into the world of media, of both mainstream and indie worlds. i still can’t believe i got through this semester when i have been doing these things unrelated to uni. some ppl are also baffled by this activity log that i have.

point is: i felt like a walking zombie. probably looked like one as well. there is this routine that i have to do and i got really sick of myself. i didn’t have the motivation to strive more. i was always either sleeping (at least for the first half of the year) or watching. it all feels lifeless. the latter part of the year, my body clock was wrecked. i did not like the weather during daytime. at all. i slept during the day when i did not have classes then i was awake at night. but i try to get as much sleep as i can because my health is declining. i think.

also this year felt like it had 3 sequels. unnecessary, boring, full-of-jump-scares type of sequels. fuck.

2. feeling anxious and chill at the same time.

the only thing that made me feel chill at the latter part of the year is the fact that this shit... like all these shitty things we’ve been doing... will pass anyway.

i don’t know if it’s because of the new system that was implemented but it definitely feels like the stress levels were high only during exam weeks. for real. i am grateful to have THAT kind of “stress privilege (??)” but i also wish i was stressing over something that gives me LIFE. i know i’m studying for something that will actually help me provide something for myself and for my family but my soul (oh crap here’s where things get cheesy) screams i should do something else.

my friend always tells me to chill but i couldn’t because there’s always that nagging thought that i have to do something productive everyday. i think it stems from past disappointments, failed expectations from ppl close to me, and just basically feeling like a failure. i’m a frantic mess who somehow has the time to do unnecessary things. wish the energy was put into finishing acads on time or earlier, but here we are. think they meant that i should be chill with mysef. to be kind to myself. to not panic and breathe.

another thing is that there’s a load of information shoved in my head that really paralyzes me to act on something.

3. leaving behind the things i’ve outgrown.

it’s so funny how i’ve met few new people this year who i already treasure only to have quite a number of people to walk out of my life.

it’s not really surprising to me. i think we all wanted it to happen anyway. i’m just happy that things kind of subtly fell apart for things to make more sense. the feeling is kind of like how a misplaced puzzle piece is put into its rightful place. finally, i don’t have to force myself and i think the feelings are mutual. anyway, this year was a revelation in itself despite how dragging the pacing felt. love how the gunk went out and i see now what i’ve been blind to. chuck the deuce! definitely a thank u, next moment.

4. meeting new people, unexpected unions.

i definitely did not expect to form connections and be reunited with some of my old friends this year. also witnessed deepened friendships.

there’s always this thing where i put my energy on a high level when i’m meeting new people just to seem decent and happy then slowly revealing how tired, sad, and boring i can be. then there’s that fear of losing people’s interest in me or people not becoming excited to talk to me about... anything really. never thought i’d have this fear of losing certain people in my life. i want to detach myself from that and from people themselves too (in a healthy way ofc).

i’ve never ever felt like i could lose people in an instant. there’s that thing where i worry if i’m too much or i’m lacking for people. so i appreciate people who let me know if i’m crossing the line or if i’m doing something that completely annoys them because i really want to be part of people’s lives, meaningfully and genuinely. a good one. i don’t want to half-ass my relationships with other people and i seek loving relationships that thrive and inspire where it doesn’t only get good at the start but is continually progressing even when we don’t see each other often. it’s fascinating how as we get older, we see how relationships are not as simple as we think they are but really are simple at the same time. we have different goals, we are at different stages in our lives, we are facing shit that nobody else seems to understand and things that don’t seem to end, and we can only hope that our mere presence and emotionally available hearts will listen to whatever the other person has to unburden.

to somehow let them know that they don’t need permission to rest and to do things that they are afraid of pursuing.

4a. discovering new artists.

AURORA: the most underrated artist for sure. watched every interview/video/set because she is that bitch. her SONGS, man. i swear. she is that ethereal fairy from the forest. her fucking voice just draws me in. she deserved a better role in frozen 2 tho. she needs to be a lead in a musical animated movie. idc idc i said what i said.

beabadoobee: fucking rockstar, reviving the 90s grunge music and looks.

Billie Eilish: a badass. hate how she still stans bieber tho.

5. daydreaming of a new life.

you don’t know how many times i’ve been dreaming to have a big house.

it’s time. we really need a new house. i’m not, as what the kids say, vibing with this old house anymore. this is what i wish to leave behind as soon as possible. how do i even get the MONEY to afford it? i’m just hoping for a miracle to happen, you know. i really wish my family gets to be in a better home soon.

i think if u know me, u might have caught me spacing out a few times.

idk why this always happens. it’s so rude to the person speaking to me but my mind literally drifts off to another planet. it’s not that they’re boring. i just can’t help it. i feel like shit thinking about how many times it has happened to me.

sometimes, i dream of being this whole new different person.

someone who is better than who i am. someone who is good at something and is passionate about the things she does. there are a lot of things i am interested in doing but i don’t have the courage to actually do it. idk why i always turn into a statue when i think of things that i wanna do.

6. God.

it’s been a long time. i have lost contact with You but You are always there to patch things up for me. every effin’ time. i cry everytime.

it must be because i was raised in a christian setting. that’s why i always think it’s You who’s working behind the scenes. but still i am grateful.

saved me from certain people.

saved me this semester.

saved me from pulling worthless all-nighters.

provided me financially esp when i thought i had nothing.

prevented a severe acid reflux situation.

gave me new friends.

did literally so many things that saved me from bad situations and people in general like WHO DOES THAT??

7. a life without a plan.

this is literally what i wanted to happen. not carelessly but like where i don’t have to worry about what to do next. just let things be and go with the flow. the first half of this year, i really did not think things through as i normally would and i let plans fall just to enjoy what was in front of me. be at ease and be present during that time. and i did. it was a peaceful, cheery time tbh.

8. every day i wanted to start over just to get over a lot of things.

9. i missed a lot of ppl.

10. i wanted to be held. not by a certain someone. not romantically. but by anyone close to me. *plays i’m with you by avril lavigne*

sometimes we all just need a long hug. that’s all. and it’d be nice to hear more stories from people. :)

11. not everybody will reciprocate the same energy that i send out to them and it’s okay.

this bummed me out. felt like an effin’ loser but i’ve learned that people have businesses to do. life doesn’t always happen the way we want it to.

12. this the final year of college. just finish it already, dumbass.

13. why can’t i just be kathryn bernardo or AURORA for like a month or a year? i promise i will not ruin their careers lmao.

14. i want to make major changes in my stupid life but money is an issue.

15. the stars are below the sky now.

the state of the environment is the same as of our minds. polluted and overloaded with gibberish to the point that we get scared of doing one thing at a time and where we also don’t throw away the unnecessary baggage/s.

we’re so intent on doing things all at the same time. finishing everything in one sitting. being productive became an addiction and it scared me how i was becoming affected by this. there’s this constant thought that we collectively share which is to do something by every day and it only adds up to people’s anxiety and depression. social media definitely made us aware of mental illnesses/disorders but then it became a trend. people self-diagnose themselves and end up with the wrong treatment. some people use it as a tool to get followers and... ugh it’s all a mess. i hope people get the right treatment/s AND/or professional help because if they don’t, they’ll lose themselves. i mean... just look at the sky. there’s literally no sign of a star now if u live in the city. we’ve lost sight of what should guide us. we are unconsciously following a false light thru our devices.

i’m not good at analogies or at explaining things as u can tell. but moving on...

this hyper self-awareness that i have gained from social media has its advantages but is also distracting me from living my best life. i didn’t realize that i was making my own christmas lights inside my seemingly dark mind when really... it’s just clouded by all this information that’s coming in fast and has affected who i am and certain areas of my life. i’ve almost forgotten this and i’ve come to believe again that there’s always an ever-present light and it will take time to get used to its brightness once my mind gets clearer by the day. hopefully, it will.

anyway, CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL AND WE NEED TO SAVE EARTH.

16. men are trash.

17. the people who i should avoid always looks odd or unpleasant and has bad energy. i know shit when i sense one.

18. i’m not happy with my life and with who i am but i’ll work with what i’ve got.

life gives u a mirror and shits on your face. sheesh.

for some reason, i can’t forget what my adviser told me during my 4th year of high school. she told me “it seems like you’re a person full of regrets” and every time i have a cryfest, i think of that. idk why. (never underestimate the power of a few words, folks). you know how like in flow charts, u encounter decision points? the diamond shapes? i think i always decide no and end up with the worst consequence and then there’s no more starting over.

i don’t think i understand flow charts well. ugh.

i can’t come up with a cool transition to me having insecurities so let’s say i did!

some people’s beauty, inspiring. but others just make you feel like shit.

i really want to explore my feminine side more because i was more masculine when i was younger. i’m not gentle, i’m a bit aggressive. and it just doesn’t fit with who i want to be. idk why. and also, it’s fun (!!!). you get a taste of what it’s like and it’s so EMPOWERING at least for the short experience that i had. but can make me feel very conscious of my entire being and i just end up wearing cartoony disguises. ironic but BABY STEPS. when i think about it, there’s really no black or white answer whether this or that is feminine or masculine.

self-love is not a 5-step process.

it is continuous improvement of oneself to the point where you don’t give a fuck about what they say. i really envy the ones who are comfortable in their own skin, who are totally embracing their flaws. they just bloom. some people just look like them. like it’s SO THEM. unmistakably them. and i think if everyone had that, we would not have standards anymore.

oh, to live in a time where individuality is encouraged but is also discouraged when not lived up to its standards. hurray.

19. this year was the year of mindless decisions. periodt.

20. hoping that the new year, 2020, will be the year of CLARITY where i know who i really am, embracing it, and where i will not be taking anymore of anyone’s bullshit. where i know where i stand in my relationships with other people and vice versa. there will be intentional but meaningful endings that will pave the way for blossoming beginnings.

let’s hope it unfolds the way it should be. for the better.

bonus: nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing. everyone’s just going with the flow. be yourself.

note: this is a compilation of thoughts, informally. thank u.

#2019

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maybe-gaybean · 8 years ago

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don't have me, but answer 1-200 :]

Oh boy here goes nothing!

All my answers are beneath the cut bc I’m sure y’all don’t wanna see all of that :P

200: My crush’s name is: My poly heart is so stressed by this question. Kalvin and Kat199: I was born in: 1998198: I am really: tired lol197: My cellphone company is: AT&T196: My eye color is: Blue195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2194: My ring size is: somewhere between a 7 and 8? 193: My height is: 5′7192: I am allergic to: just a couple of medicines 191: My 1st car was: A 2010 Nissan Altima that I bought from my mum 190: My 1st job was: I’ve been a soccer referee since I was 12, if that counts189: Last book you read: Ahhhh um I read most of Landry Park the other day188: My bed is: my favorite 187: My pet: My lovely cat 186: My best friend: @ebsharon185: My favorite shampoo is: I don’t care. Something that will protect my hair dye I guess 184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox183: Piggy banks are: Good for saving 182: In my pockets: Nothing currently 181: On my calendar: I’m leaving campus on Thursday at noon180: Marriage is: goals179: Spongebob can: fuck off 178: My mom: is stressful177: The last three songs I bought were? I bought two albums last. Both were Tonight Alive 176: Last YouTube video watched: I was watching jacksepticeye play Outlast175: How many cousins do you have? 5174: Do you have any siblings? One and I love her more than anything 173: Are your parents divorced? Nah172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope171: Do you play an instrument? Nah170: What did you do yesterday? Ummm I shopped for a while with my friends @ifyouonlyknewthehalfofit and @marcy665 and we ordered pizza and just chilled.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: To a degree 168: Luck: Sure167: Fate: Yes166: Yourself: No.165: Aliens: Yes164: Heaven: No163: Hell: No 162: God: Yes, actually 161: Horoscopes: To a degree 160: Soul mates: In a way 159: Ghosts: YES 158: Gay Marriage: Of course!157: War: In a way156: Orbs: Sure155: Magic: Sure [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs!153: Drunk or High: Drunk, I guess 152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black haired150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 149: Hot or cold: Hot 148: Summer or winter: Summer!147: Autumn or Spring: Either, they’re both amazing. I guess tho autumn bc the colors are nice. @justkeepdancingonmyown -- You asked this too!

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla145: Night or Day: Night!144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: On me? Straight. Others? I don’t care142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Neither 140: Mac or PC: depends on what I’m using it for 139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate them both138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor, I guess? 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Buried or cremated: Cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: Singing 133: Coach or Chanel: I don’t care at all

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: I don’t know D:131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target:Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam I guess 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Neither. Not about that life 127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast (Florida, specifically)126: Your Birthday or Christmas: They’re like a week apart so I generally celebrate them both at the same time, tbh125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY123: Yankees or Red Sox: Don’t care[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: I wish there was some way that it could be avoided, but the way that history has shaped us, it is inevitable 121: George Bush: Fuck you. 120: Gay Marriage: Thank god it’s legal now jesus christ 119: The presidential election: What kind of bullshit was that? Why is America like this? Electoral college? irrelevant 118: Abortion: Your body is your body and you have my unconditional support in whatever is best for you117: MySpace: I actually never used MySpace (1000% honesty)116: Reality TV: I like paranormal TV shows like Ghost Adventures and Ghost Hunters and all that. Anything else is okay, but I get annoyed with it quickly 115: Parents: We have a very very complex relationship. They don’t respect my gender and have a horrible habit of snooping through my things, both like things and my online life (lit). and they can be controlling and all that. But I really want to believe all of the things they’re doing is done with my best interest at heart. They could be so much worse, I suppose. Plus they gave me my sister so that’s great 114: Back stabbers: Why. Please don’t. 113: Ebay: My dude, if I’m desperate enough, I’ll go anywhere for a good price. Or if I need quick money for obscure items 112: Facebook: Annoying as fuck omg111: Work: I hate sonic!!!110: My Neighbors: I have never met them before in my life. If they were standing near me in a crowd, I’d never know109: Gas Prices: They’re very high, but honestly, I get gas as little as possible, so I save enough to make sure that I can get a full tank every time 108: Designer Clothes: If you got the money, go for it 107: College: Why did I do this to myself :/106: Sports: I love sports!!!!!105: My family: My sister is my everything. I love her more than life itself. Everyone else can fuck off tbh.104: The future: Everytime I think about the future I kinda want to die [ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Like an hour ago I hugged my friend Olive when I gave her a present 102: Last time you ate: I’m eating a brownie as I type this 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Ummmm I met an old friend for Mexican a few months ago. I hadn’t seen her in years 100: Cried in front of someone: I cried watching a phan video with Ash and Sarah the other day. A real cry? I have no idea 99: Went to a movie theater: I visited Sharon at work a couple weeks ago.98: Took a vacation: Ahhhh last summer 97: Swam in a pool: Last summer 96: Changed a diaper: Never 95: Got my nails done: Years ago. I have no concept of time94: Went to a wedding: When I was extremely young93: Broke a bone: A couple years ago92: Got a peircing: Ummm I only have my ears pierced but I started gauging my ears a few weeks ago!91: Broke the law: I got really fucking high Friday night 90: Texted: like 2 minutes ago[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Either Sharon or Sarah 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: @ebsharon @littlest-hellspawn ,my sister & my cat87: The last movie I saw: I saw Perks of Being a Wallflower a few days ago kinda 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: I want to start T soon85: The thing im not looking forward to: Telling my parents that I’m going to start T and that they will either respect that or leave 84: People call me: Like nicknames? Trash, Meme Lord, Sammy83: The most difficult thing to do is: Exist82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: once 81: My zodiac sign is: Capricorn80: The first person i talked to today was: @littlest-hellspawn79: First time you had a crush: I have no idea at all. Elementary school I guess?78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Mmmm I think I can fool anyone if I wanted to 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: @ifyouonlyknewthehalfofit and I say the same joke at the same time constantly it’s horrifiying 76: Right now I am talking to: Sarah and Ash75: What are you going to do when you grow up: AHHHHHHHHHHHH I want to be a novelist!74: I have/will get a job: at sonic73: Tomorrow: So much shit to do!!!!72: Today: Sleep71: Next Summer: Definitely moving out 70: Next Weekend: Work69: I have these pets: I have a cat, my sister has a cat, and my parents have 2 dogs68: The worst sound in the world: Anything that’s loud and unexpected 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Oh god. I’m don’t cry alot, so no one I guess? 66: People that make you happy: @ebsharon @eldershadow13 @littlest-hellspawn @ifyouonlyknewthehalfofit @marcy665 @prince-of-wind @buckeyewarr1or2 @serenitymasogni @insert-my-clever-url-here and so many other people :)65: Last time I cried: Oh god. Like a real cry? I don’t remember to be honest. Within the last few weeks 64: My friends are: wonderful63: My computer is: slow62: My School: is stressful61: My Car: is doing her best60: I lose all respect for people who: won’t own up to their mistakes. Try to ruin relationships. Use their mental illness to justify abuse or manipulation.59: The movie I cried at was: I cried like a child the first time I watched Big Hero Six 58: Your hair color is: black57: TV shows you watch: Gravity Falls, Hannibal, Dexter, Criminal Minds, SVU, Soul Eater, Inuyasha, Ghost Adventures, and so many more ahhhhhhh56: Favorite web site: probably ao355: Your dream vacation:Disney World, or the beach 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: When I was a sophomore I tore a muscle in my back. That was lit 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I’m a vegetarian :)52: My room is: depends on my state of mind tbh51: My favorite celebrity is: Dan and Phil currently 50: Where would you like to be: Disney World 49: Do you want children: Maybe idk48: Ever been in love: Yes47: Who’s your best friend: @ebsharon obviously46: More guy friends or girl friends: Girls I guess. 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: praise for my writing 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: @ebsharon43: Do you have a 5 year plan: I have vague goals. Nothing specific 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Kinda of. Not officially41: Have you pre-named your children: Yes 40: Last person I got mad at: Probably an ex of mine 39: I would like to move to: Florida 38: I wish I was a professional: writer [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Dark chocolate36: Vehicle: Don’t have one35: President: Obama 34: State visited: Florida 33: Cellphone provider: AT&T32: Athlete: Abby Womback31: Actor: I dunno maybe Mads Mikkelson?30: Actress: Jeez ummmm no answer 29: Singer: Brendan Urie28: Band: Twenty One Pilots27: Clothing store: Hot Topic or Forever 21 26: Grocery store: Target25: TV show: Gravity Falls!24: Movie: Lilo & Stitch23: Website: not tumblr 22: Animal: I love all animals 21: Theme park: Disney World lmao20: Holiday: New Years 19: Sport to watch: Football or Soccer 18: Sport to play: SOCCER 17: Magazine: None 16: Book: SO MANY WHY 15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: Tybee Island!13: Concert attended: Hannah Montana but I was extremely young and haven’t been to a concert in many years 12: Thing to cook: COOKIES FUCK YOU SARAH 11: Food: French fries 10: Restaurant: Olive Garden or Panera Bread 9: Radio station: None 8: Yankee candle scent: I have no idea at all7: Perfume: I use Old Spice Fiji cologne6: Flower: Dogwood flowers (I have a dogwood flower tattoo!)5: Color: PURPLE4: Talk show host: ????No clue????3: Comedian: Brandon Calvillo (does that count?)2: Dog breed: Pit Bull1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yep

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malecluckycharm-blog · 8 years ago

Text

“Come back to me”

Book/ or show: Shadowhunters

Pairing: Alec and Magnus (Malec)

Fanfiction genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Romance, Thriller and Fantasy

Idea from: My brain that secretly wants me to combust from these feelings tbh

Prompt: Alexander Lightwood has been missing for months. No one has heard a word from him ever since Valentine invaded the New York Shadowhunter Institude. There was not one person who wasn’t worried for him but there was one specific downworlder who was petrified and would stop at nothing to find him and bring him back home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tell me where the Mortal Mirror is. Tell me now, Lightwood!”

That was all Alec heard for 6 months straight.

Where is the mirror, Lightwood? Tell me where the mirror is, Lightwood. Who do you think you are, Lightwood?

It hummed in his ears, contantly on repeat like a broken record.

The chains that clammed around his wrists blistered and bits of dried and fresh blood soaked around the wrist restraints. His hair felt like wet straw that stuck together from the amount of times he has been sweating for the past few months.

His crimson shirt stuck to his body as he tried to releave himself from the harsh pain that shot through his legs as he tried to stand up from being on his knees for so long. The funny thing was is that his shirt was blue before he was kidnapped by Valentine.

He almost forgotten how to walk if it wasn’t for the occasional bathroom visits. Apparently, Valentine thought that showers were for the nobles because all he was given was a bucket and a sponge to clean himself off. And of course, Valentine Morgenstern was looking for the Mortal Mirror. He was trying to beat the answer out of him but Alec didn’t have the answer Valentine was looking for. He obviously didn’t care with what question Alec wants to have answered.

That one single question that has been gradually escaping his lips the minute he arrived at this unknown destination.

“What did you do with my family?”

Valentine looked down at him with a single glare.

“Don’t you ever ask something else other than that?”

I could say the same about you, Morgenstern.

Valentine wipped his arm back, swung at Alec’s face and punched him straight in the jaw. Alec grunted at the shooting pain and flicked his head upwards towards his kidnapper to move his hair off from over his eyes.

“I am telling you, I don’t know where the Mortal Mirror is. I don’t even know where to start looking!”

“Quiet!”

Alec forced himself to stay silent. Looks like neither of them were going to have the answer they want.

* * *

The shards of glass that stood out from Magnus’ hand were coated in blood. Magnus was thinking so much about how Valentine was probably destroying the last bit of Alec’s mortal soul by torturing him. He held his whiskey glass and slammed the glass onto his dining room table, causing it to explode only a few minutes ago.

Magnus was certainly convinced that only the Angel Raziel knows why Alec was taken.

He wasn’t able to sleep, eat or even socialise properly ever since Alec was taken by Valentine. He tried everything, from tracking spells to portals to demon summoning to interviewing almost every single one of the shadowhunters in the New York institute but still no sign of Alec.

It was almost as if someone gave him purpose in his immortal life but then it was suddenly taken away from him but to make him suffer. At one point, Clary compared him to a lost boy who was trying to find his mother in a store, but so much worse.

As Magnus pulled the last shard of glass out of his hand, his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and it showed Jace’s name.

“Jace?”, Magnus asked as he conjured up a bandage to wrap around his wound. Jace usually never called him but Alec is gone. Jace didn’t have a personal messenger to tell Magnus information anymore.

“Hey Magnus, I just wanted to let you know that we are going to be out on another search. You’re welcome to join us, if you want.”, Jace tried to be nice to Magnus on several occastions judging the circumstance they were in.

Alec is Jace’s parabatai and he knew that Alec was still alive. He could feel it in his soul. The string that binds them together was barely holding on, but it was still there.

“You know I haven’t missed a search but I think I’m going to have to cancel this time.”,

Magnus had to stay home. If he had a dollar for every single time he got his hopes up during these searches only to find nothing and have his hopes torn to shreads, he would not be in New York but on his own private jet.

What would a warlock do with a private jet anyway? By the Angel, they had portals!

“Are you sure?”, Jace asked from the other end of the call.

Magnus forced a convincing reassuring tone in his voice.

“Yes, don’t worry about me. Just please, find Alexander”,

“You can count on that”,

And with that last sentence that keeps Magnus’ hope alive, Jace ended the call.

Alec, please. Come back to me.

* * *

I have to get to a stele and portal to another place other than here. Or at least send a fire message to Magnus.

This plan was clearly easier said than done but Alec had to try. He knew that around this time, he was given time to clean himself up. Alec was going to have to think fast as he was losing blood fast. Valentine did feed him a little under what the average person needs to have but Alec knows that’s only to keep him alive.

Valentine opened the metal door that was Alec’s gateway to freedom and closed it behind him. Without a word, he placed the bucket next to Alec and unchained him.

These last few seconds were crucial.

Alec travelled his eyes all around Valentine’s body until he spots a stele peaking out from his back belt pocket. He attempted to stand but both from the pain and performing an act, he fell onto Valentine, which forced him to catch Alec.

He slipped his hand around to Valentine’s back and snatched his stele. Alec eased it into his jacket sleeve and maked sure to keep his arm up a bit to prevent it from falling out and revealing his plan. All in a matter of seconds.

“Oh get up, you’ll get more blood in you. Just wash yourself already, I don’t want to have to keep smelling blood and death everytime I come in here.”

And with that, Valentine slipped Alec’s body harshly onto the cold, blood-stained floor. Alec landed much like a broken ragdoll as he watched Valentine leave. He closed the door with a bang and Alec knew that his plan was arising. Trust Valentine to believe the saying “if you want something done, you have to do the dirty work yourself.”

It took every cell in his body to work together and make himself lift up the stele onto the wall and draw a rune that could bring him home. Or at least where his heart leaded him.

* * *

The last bit of alcohol in Magnus’ new glass ran past his lips and down his throat for what felt like the millionth time.

He kept reminding himself every day to get a good night’s rest to get rid of the bags under his eyes, to eat something healthy and proper, to get clean clothes and to go outside again, but every day always ended up making a plan to do it tomorrow.

Magnus placed the cup onto the floor and finally allowed himself to slam his body onto the couch and rest for what felt like the first time in ages.

Suddenly, a blinding light mixed with deadly winds exploded from outside his front door. He frowned as he looked towards the door wondering who would be bothering him now.

Panic spread throughout his chest when he finally realised that blood was seeping through the bottom crack of the door like a puddle. Magnus’ eyes widened as he bolted for the door feeling both senses of hope and, at the same time, begging for it not to be him.

He yanks the door open to find Alec lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood, with his once bright and bold hazel eyes that turned colourless and grey, staring up at him.

“Alec!”

* * *

Hours have passed and Alec still didn’t wake up. Magnus kept a routine during this time.

Checking Alec’s pulse every five minutes, call Isabelle and Jace which only leads to voicemail, magic up another healing spell and potion of some sort, check his pulse again. It was pushing Magnus’ buttons but he knows that every little bit that he can do, helped Alec. And he would do anything for him.

The wounds Alec had reopened once he went through the portal. That’s what caused the pool of blood. Gashes of cuts and bruises made it’s way all around Alec’s torso and arms. There was one bruise that formed on his cheek. It made Magnus bubble with anger when he wrapped bandages around his boyfriend.

Alec’s eyes finally snapped open. He jerked up and coughed violently with Magnus by his side within seconds. He screamed as his coughing wasn’t doing his bruises any good. Magnus let him scream because he wasn’t worried about the neighbours. He put a property silencing spell on the doors, walls and windows just a few hours ago.

Alec’s hazel eyes blinked rapidly as they tried to adjust to the brightness of Magnus’ loft.

“Please Valentine, I can’t help you.”, Alec muttered under his breath, clearly frightened and convinced that the portal he conjured up didn’t work.

He was broken to the very core.

Magnus’ heart broke just by the sight of his boyfriend huddled up in a ball on the couch, frightened and petrified about anyone or anything going near him.

I am going to kill Valentine for touching him. I will find him and make him pay for hurting him. Even if it kills me.

“It’s ok Alexander. You’re home.”

Alec’s head turned toward the sound of the familiar calming voice. The second he saw Magnus, he dived into an embrace. He finally let go off the weight on his back and cried on Magnus’ shoulder while he held onto his boyfriend for dear life. Alec’s gashes hurt like hell but he didn’t care at this point.

“By the Angel, Magnus. I thought you were all taken. I didn’t know if you got out safely or if you were hurt. Not knowing if you were alive or dead, I was terrified.”

“I knew you were alive, I knew it. I never stopped giving up, Alexander.”,

Alec held on tighter.

“Never leave me again, Alec. Do you hear me? I’ll kill anyone who touches you”

Magnus’ painted nails dug deeper into Alec’s new and clean shirt.

“I’ll never leave you, Magnus. Never again.”

#malec #come back to me #shadowhunters #alec #magnus

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kkukkung · 8 years ago

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Your tag on the wonho pic with the cushions was bad even for you and you tagged 'soft' after that I can't believe it

im a soft stan.. uwu

HUge ask compilation under the cut yikes omg

twitter*com / arya940115 / status / 850724933906735104 WATCH THIS BUNNY!

[link] i can’t believe i have anons that call me “bunny” jkfsdghg this is?? matty’s impact. and I KNOW hyungwon rly died? it’s so interesting how wonho is so soft but he can also… kill a man… this is so h*t

sncksndnxinsjdcjcdknckksnsnxnkzndidh ive been on ur blog for an hr and a half now just reajdng ur tags and i jsut jdjdnkdjsjdk wrow what a long ass ride n also i cant believe u have a mh furry tag i thogit i was the only ome kskdnndksd

do u ever see someone and u can just… picture them in a fursuit…. that’s lmh…. anyway im sorry u wasted….. so much of ur precious time on my blog omg but thank u…….. also…. what’s ur minhyuk furry tag 👀👀👀 gotta flesh out my collection

u kno blogs that are marked nsfw dont show up in tags 👀 (hdhdfh thats probably not why ur posts dont show up but lol)

hgfjkfjfsh bye…. i know other blogs have this problem too and i think it might have smth to do w spam and whatnot, like not every post the fy blogs post show up either so it’s just… some tumblr thing i reckon? honestly i don’t think i’m that……….. nsfw am i…………

I aspired to b as funny as your tags are

my tags……. aren’t funny dghjkdf……………. my gf left me over how unfunny i am? i have a rly shitty sense of humour i laughed sm when minhyuk said wonho used to be a human faced fish like that was so fucking funny to me but ??? no1 else…. but thank u rly

twitter(.)com(/)OfficialMonstaX(/)status(/)849589491182338049 an ot7 photo where minhyuk isnt clinging to anyone!!!!!!

incredible…. i rmbr this….. i feel a bit like… empty inside this isn’t Right u kno jfksgdh…

You @ any pic: oh cool…wonder how lmh ties into this…..

ur not wrong… but i feel attacked rn fjhsgj idk lmh is just so fascinating to me!!!

you know abt vocal analysis?? i know a tumblr mx blog who did a few and was wondering if you could read them?

i haven’t heard abt this before but i just googled it and i think i get the Gist Of It… i’m interested! link me :3c i can’t promise i will be that insightful though!

Did you get my message about changkyun’s coughing? [i did sorry answering it now!!! jsghgf]

I’m kind of worried. Since like 3 months ago, Changkyun’s been coughing. And at first I thought it was nothing but it’s persistent and doesn’t seem to be getting better or going away. Coughing usually means something with the lungs or heart and I’m worried all the coughing effects his breathin. He’s my precious Lil baby and I may worry too much. But i hope he’s had it looked at cause coughing like that all the time can mess up the lungs pretty bad if untreated

yes me too :((( i’ve noticed this too and like…. in fact half of mx has been sick for this comeback and it just… makes me feel v :(((( u know. i do think changkyun’s the type to not let something get in the way of his ambitions and he would…. try to take care of himself? i hope he’s gotten it checked out too… it’s strange bc it’s not exactly a Persistent thing, like it’s just like he needs to clear his throat sometimes and it sounds v dry? :/// idk what that means but yeah hopefully it’ll… clear up soon… :

I think it’s because I’m too soft of a stan but I really started crying when wonho cried in that video what the fuck why would the hurt me like this. Also can we agree the rapping was a lil :/ hilarious but cute. PS. WHY WAS IT SO FUVKINH WHITE WASHED WHt

i just…. couldn’t take the crying seriously sjkfdhgf i felt embarrassed bc of how cheesy it was but ummmmm im still slowly unclenching my butt from that feeling minhyuk’s falsetto gave me. and yeah lmao the rap. lmao. also anon u sound v cute n sof;;

In one of your posts about wonho you said you “weep for you child who was bullied at school and grew up broken”, what do you mean, what happened? I didn’t know about this and I’m TT

omg anon sdfjkghfskj i wrote that tag complaining abt….. my flopping gifset kjsfdhg im sorry u misinterpreted dw i’m sure wonho never went through smth like that!

Jackson and minhyuk together in that gifset is 2 much who decided to put two extremely loud needy bisexuals together

“two extremely loud needy bisexuals” GBYE…. u ever see characterisation so accurate ur soul leaves ur body momentarily bc

What’s your opinion on the collar/neck tie not attached to the shirt thing that Wonho wore for their KBS Music Bank performance? I’m not sure how to feel about it.

personally i think it’s sexi? u could dress wonho in some bubble wrap and that would b sexi? tbh i rly like the…. sleazy rich dude costuming for this era;;;

nation’s demon child lee minhyuk… won’t somebody save our pure, productive youths from his clutches?

im dissociating fjgkjg

what are your favorite mx ships (or just like two-person dynamics/relationships) with minhyuk in them :>

showhyuk… wonhyuk… kihyuk…. hyunghyuk… joohyuk… and recently changhyuk wait fuck that’s all of th-

seriously tho… tell me if u want me to speak abt smth specific i think ive written extensively on like all of these before… just feel like minhyuk rly…. has v v v intimate relationships in general

Hey ^^“ new monbebe here~ and what exactly is no mercy? is before debut, right? And you know where we can download/watch it? tysm

jsdfhjgh u probably won’t see this anon but yes no mercy is the survival show that mx debuted from… you can watch it on 1thek’s channel. here’s the first ep and it should be pretty easy to find from there!

did you see on the radio that wonho said that he feels awkward around shownu and then the members were like that’s why they go to the gym cause they don’t talk.. shownu when he’s around wonho: :D wonho when he’s around shownu: :S

[diff anon] Recently on the radio wonho said he’s most awkward with shownu 😭💔😭 what are your thoughts? Also hyungnu talk before sleeping what do you think they talk about 👀👀👀

on showho… wonho has said b4 that shownu still feels kinda ?? apologetic towards him bc of the leader business so i feel like that is the potential strain in their relationship :/ but i doubt they’re genuinely awkward w each other like…. when ur constantly around someone for like 3+ years… i doubt any mx coupling is awkward now? but yeah it’s likely that shownu… kind-hearted son hyunwoo… feels residual weirdness abt being the leader when it was originally wonho’s role. re hyungnu PLEASE gjkfhds they’re so close they rly…………. they’ve been close since the beginning of time like hyungwon has a lil fanboy crush on shownu and shownu thinks hyungwon is beautiful and funny and they just……………… idk they must vibe together so well bc they’re both quiet + kind and they just………… seem to chill together a lot these days e.g. playing billiards !!!! aaa and um i feel like they would talk abt everything i can’t narrow it down?? probably like… discuss funny things that happened during the day and shownu tells a joke and hyungwon laughs for 5 minutes straight bc once he starts he doesn’t stop sgfhj

thsi is so stupid but u kno kihyun’s pose from beautiful where hes like,, turned away from the camera n a lil hunched over w/ his arms out i just,, just fuckin think of those grainy pics of bigfoot like i see kihyun n its like C R Y P T I D S P O T T E D

i hate this fgdjhfjk i feel like changkyun is a real cryptid btw (the part where he’s like…. sliding across???)?? anyway when will kihyun pop me via telepathy

Wonho gripping the straw of his coffee drink with his entire fist fkrkgkk why is he such a babie

feel like wonho was a lil bit spoilt/rolling in love as a kid and grew into this… manchild (not the annoying kind tho bc he’s also… v mature…) i love him sm….

Wow do u think minhyuk and kihyun are such good frens because they both love to act fake cute…..These Scorpio antics

YES!!!!! i think they’re v different kinds of fake-cute tho like, w kihyun it’s kind of…. nauseating when he does it on purpose like the way he plops down into chairs omg (gjhkfsdgk im sry) but w minhyuk it’s like he’s mastered how to b cute without being too much so that it leaks into his natural expression? but anyway when kihyun isn’t cute on purpose but is….. CUTE nonetheless… that’s when it Gets me u kno.

You aren’t the only one to notice how PD-nim cuts Wonho’s answers, and exploits his reactions. It’s not that I don’t love his precious self being exposed and tbh I gain life everytime Kiho laughs but the parts that sticks are the ones when he tries to pacify the situation. I think he steps back on variety but can show his true colors/raise his voice in NON-FORMAT programs(?) as RIGHT NOT/DEOKSPATCH/X-RAY. Plus it seems like he’s an audience type than the jokester one…

“show his true colors” jfskdhg yes on kinda.. external programs they don’t show much of him :(( and i think he’s just generally less comfortable speaking in those situations (even on radio shows he’s vvvv quiet…. and this era especially i feel like he’s been sort of Even More Quiet? but where there’s a production + filming team he’s working with that he starts to get familiar with mb he opens up more… anyway yes i agree he’s definitely someone who likes to observe what’s going on rather than directly contribute to the action in external variety/talk programs!

full offence but your tags give me life thank u

thank u?? thank U

my mom likes shownu because she thinks hes a: traditional, manly, well fit, and "expensive” looking man sunshwwjhsbe what but she looked at changkyun was like “who is this hunk” and said “he looks like the type to pay for 500$ meal” jsHWNHSJWYSHWH

(this is for when i asked who everyone’s mum’s fave member was fjkdhg) THAT’S RLY CUTE but im screaming changkyun is the furthest thing from a hunk (quote wonho: his life will b in danger if he doesn’t exercise) and he’d probably take u to his dim studio and feed u cup ramen on a date??? jkdfhgkj

I can’t believe Hyungwon gave us a hacker version of the Iconic Math lady meme on Amigo TV. I guess you could say he’s [hacker voice] ‘All In’.

THIS IS AWFUL jgsfhdjk……… i feel like hyungwon is rly transparent with his expressions like everything shows on his face?? like u can see the cogs whirring in his head when he’s thinking he’s rly so so s o pure :( lov him

damn, i.m

delete this?

“annals of time"

i forgot when i tagged this and in relation to what but jkfdsghjksdfjkkjdfhdskjhfkghkjsfjksgh

annie ….. what hav you done to me :// i’ve began talking like .. this ?? i call my bias raw fish now :(

i hate this fjkgdshsdnjkggf ???? ? i don’t want this either !!!!!!!!!! but my internet persona? ?? cant u see im tryign,,, so hardf.,,, ,all the goddamned time…,,,,,, who is ur bias who is raw fish gfjkdhg (also i only called wonho raw chicken ONCE let me livevnsjkfdhj)

i feel like out of all the weird shit one could possibly be into .. elbow slurping isnt rly too wild like theres so Much out there tht im not mad at it. jus. just go ahead. take a fucking slorp babes

gkjdfsnbvdsjkfghksjfdghfsjkdhgkkjfahskdskjfhksjhkfsjhfkjsfhkjsfdhsjkdfjksfhdjkshfjkshfnjksvjdfnvdfjkgsdfjkndfjgndfjkgndsjkgnskdljngdjkgjkdsgkjsnd

hyungwon is my grandpa who rants @ me for 2 hours abt how his grandchildren never visit and are too loud when they do and how kids these days are always talking about wigs and their dads and then handing me a pile of Werther’s Original™ hard candies before hobbling off to take a nap

why is this so…… detailed and…. accurate…..

Hey sorry to bother you, but do you know whens it’s going to be the first MX’s award show, and where can i watch it? I’m always lost when it’s about this kind of thing e.e Anyway , have a nice day :3

IM RLY SORRY JSFGHKJSFG i hope u found it….. im sry im…. i never answer things in time but;;;;;;;; yes it was on m countdown and u can watch it on the mwave website as well as the mnet youtube channel!

I jus screamed at the phrase "made from the same fursuit” I wanna die

i literally get half my gross terminology from katie?? she made me this way

what are your thoughts on all of the different wonho ships? 👀

i want to…. nest myself in all the warm bonds wonho has formed w every member but especially wonhyuk and wonkyun i think?

the new yang nam show pix made me start thinking what do u think mx wear as jammies fr?? 🤔 besides wonho who just. Lets it free. I feel like ck would b one of those ppl who wears full jammie sets tbqh

why does this sound like matty…. they talk abt their pj preference in that one fancam i can’t find rn sjfdhg but tbh all i took from it was…… wonho……. but yes definitely i think ck would like that…. wants 2 feel Complete and Covered and Neat…

hey!! about the choreo thing, i feel that tbh. i think because so much of fandom is focused on being mad positive all the time, it feels like you can’t notice anything that isn’t 'just so’, but honestly, i do wish their choreo came out better on screen :/ another thing, and i don’t blame them for it, but it helps to keep the lines themselves clean so that no matter what it’s all good angle wise? got7 has trouble w/ that too (everyone dances their own way instead of together, yfm)

yes…………………………. i agree and i just… feel like their choreo is so much Effort but it’s not exactly flashy for all that energy they exhaust as well??? nd yeah what i said abt camera angles… this time the selling point w the jacket choreo was a good touch tho imo but it still………….. isn’t………………. what it Could Be idk i just feel like everything could be flashier and that might help them trend more dance-wise bc rn like tbh i don’t rly know what monsta x is known for? alsoooo what u said abt fandom being mad positive all the time i feel that sm like especially in this fandom… ppl rly pedestal the boys sm and sometimes… idk… overpraise their music when tbqh…. there isn’t….. that much Unique abt it…..? :0

wonhontology (.) tumblr (.) com / post / 158743886921 What a coincidence?!, seems like your scorpio boy has a vore kink and a nipple fixation… #AnWonHyuk

wonhontology tumblr com /post/158743886921 In the second one, isn’t Minhyuk trying to bite Wonho’s nipple? 0.0

[link] i can’t believe i didn’t see this gsjfdhg i love my vore kink nipple biter boy??? ***** *** *** **** ** **** ***** ***???????????????

lostinmonstax (.) tumblr (.) com / post / 158736187961/ tummy-flash did you see that?

[link] um fuck he’s so toned gjskhdfjksdhfk

Hi I love you

i love u 17 days late??? fdskgkjg

somtimes i have a strong urge to call minhyuk my lizard man in my tags this is ur impact annie

i can’t believe ppl r finally beginning to see lmh for who he rly is….. my lizard brethren

the beautiful mv is already to 2 million views and i am weeping… also i am really digginghoseok’s new grey/silver/no-longer-blonde hair.

u can jus.t…. tel lhow old this ask is by its contents jkgfhdsjkgs im the worst im sry but aa… thinking abt… all the hope we had…. 3 weeks ago… makes me :’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’’———-))))))))))

cant believe that thigh wrestling gif cut out the part where minhyuk almost reveals his lizard self after wonho smacks his ass hard enough to make him jump a little and break thru his human disguise but tries to stay casual. wongo resistant ass

the. ass slap changed my life btw…. a lil bit of Inner Lee Minhyuk leaked out hfjkgfsdjkhg also this ask is so…………………… im scremaing at every part of it like it rly gets better w every word

hey,,,,,I love this blog,,,,, thank u

i lov u???????????/ this is a terrible lbogblglbo?

ppl have been pointing out how ur url says wonho but ur avatar says minhyuk but i cant beleaf no one has pointed out that the lil moon on ur desktop blog theme says 'rly a changkyun stan but don’t tell any1’ i’m on2 ur secrets 👀

👀👀👀👀👀

STAN SHIN HOSOCK, since he allowed Wonho’s freedom!

??? im sorry what does this mean jkfgkj

#thIS ISNT ALL OF THem but the majority that have been building up jfdkhg im sorry #ill get around to everything... one day....#ask #compilation #Anonymous

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