#tbh it would b funny if tumblr was like other social medias and could exist like a job lmaoooo it would be a mess and succumb to capitalsm

[imposterogers]

imagining you as an Important Tumblr Blogger with a full-time PA organizing your asks in order of urgency and briefing you on fandom drama for context like. "mr imposter rogers we have an urgent request for your take on bruce banner's favorite ex boyfriend that should be addressed before noon today. i took the liberty of deleting several anons about bucky's gender identity because they were clearly sent by the same person and fodder for a callout post."

In that alternate universe (where important tumblr bloggers exist and somehow I've conned my way into being one of them) my ask box is clear & I know peace

[shemakesmeforget]

25 fics to pick you up

Humor, crack not crack, romcom fics for @cuttlemefishwrites and y’all. I tried to make this list short, I SWEAR idk ENJOY!! Also you can check some other fic recs by moi here, here and here.

(i'm) the boy you'd die for by jenmishe 

Canonverse, Rated T, 6K

v-nikiforov ✓

[Video: A short clip where Victor is laying dramatically on the couch with miserable expression. “Heartbreaker” by Marina and the Diamonds is playing.]

13,481 likes

v-nikiforov✓ Am I the another one? (((

vitYASS victor,,,, honey,,,, i lvoe you so much,,,, but WHY are you like this.

red-blue-gay but??? does that mean that somebody has broken victor’s heart???? I DON'T UNDERSTAND

christophe-gc ✓ You’re ridiculous.

starsaregay But who recorded it?? Makkachin???

vityathebabe user @starsaregay asking the real question.

--- The adventures of Yuuri "Heartbreaker" Katsuki, or: how Yuuri became known as a cold player full of himself who doesn't care about anyone. (Hint: it's an anxiety and obliviousness.)

• ADORE!!! oblivious heartbreaker Yuuri + social media fic. The best description is actually one of the tags: everyone is in love with Yuuri: the fic.

  He Should Know by Lady_Ganesh

Past Yuuri/Chris, Canonverse, Rated T, 2K

A public service announcement Chris and Yuuri made for the Sochi Olympics comes to light.

• HI HI this speaks to me directly: Viktor is a dork and jealous and Yuuri is precious.... I just love this so much. 

Master Plans by Qwertzu (@qwertzu824)

Canonverse ish, Rated T, 17K

Who wouldn't want to date Yuuri and/or Viktor? Nobody is immune to their charm - including random strangers, who unfortunately have no idea the two are happily married and totally smitten with each other...

• This series!!! outsider pov, identity reveal, and the last installment!!!!! I die. You'll laugh and you’ll feel sorry for these people at the same time.

The Way to Life and Love is a Curved Trajectory by crossroadswrite  (@crossroadswrite)

Canonverse, Rated T, 5K

“Do you know Katsuki Yuuri?” Victor asks Chris, two minutes later, when he finally manages to convince himself to stop looking at the dip of Katsuki’s back and his powerful thighs in those tight Mizuno track pants, and the way his hands are poised in the air mid-skate, and his slicked back hair and brown eyes and flushed cheeks.

Christophe hums into the phone in a way that suggests he not only knows Katsuki Yuuri but he’s acquainted with him. Chris’ version of acquaintance is very physical and usually involves a healthy amount of groping. “Don’t you?”

“He’s Japan’s Ace,” Victor says, trying to rack his brain for more information. “His step sequence is good?”

Chris hums again. “You’re not that oblivious that you haven’t heard of Unfairly Beautiful Yuuri.”

“Who?”

(Or, the one where Victor falls - literally and then figuratively - for Yuuri. Also something about a Best Ass Poll that is way more official than it should be.)

• Alternate first meeting <3<3<3 you have it all: social media, pining and THAT ASS. I would say 12/10 would read again, but I have already, a bunch of times.

What you should know about dating a man with children by SassySalchow (diedraechin) (@diedraechin​)

Canonverse, Rated G, 2K

Based off a tumblr drabble prompt and then grew too big...

"AU scenario where the skaters mistake the triplets for Yuuri's kids when they first meet him, possibly when he brings them to the skater-only area as a b-day treat, or something? (Kudos if you can work in jealous!Victor somehow, but the skaters having a fun reaction would be A+, tbh. Would be lovely if you could include Chris and/or Yurio :D )

• Ahhhhhh my quick fix for whenever I’m feeling down, this Viktor is such a dork and extra, I love him.

5 times Viktor encountered culture shock in Hasetsu + 1 time Yuuri did by forochel (@forochel)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

this fic ... basically does what it says on the tin.

• I adore not so smooth Viktor in an environment he can't control (or at least do some research lol), good stuff.

Five Times Chris's Dating Advice Was Ignored By Russian Skaters by liliths

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

—and one time it wasn't.

Christophe Giacometti. Twenty-five. Cat lover, chocolate eater. Professional Swiss figure skater and confirmed Grand Prix finalist. Running an unofficial dating advice ring for Russian skaters who don't listen to him to begin with. How did his life come to this?

Chris-centric, in which he is done with literally everyone. Except the dog.

• Chris is heaven sent and deserves a medal for dealing with awkward russian skaters.

just like me they long to be by sparklespiff (@todaythesamesky​)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

"Haven't you noticed that Yuuri gets everything he wants?"

"Everything that's in somebody else's power to give him," Mari says, before Victor can bring up last year's GPF. "He's not magic, just pretty."

"But it's like magic. My theory is that it's because he's sneaky beautiful, so you're not expecting it, and then, under all that stuff, whoa! Gorgeous. And it's too late to save yourself."

"Stuff?" Victor keeps smiling but makes his voice cold, the way he does when reporters overstep. His Yuuri doesn't have stuff. Everything about him is beautiful.

or:

Yuuri lives in a Beautiful Person Bubble. It's Victor's responsibility to make sure he never finds out.

• Again with oblivious heartbreaker Yuuri, this is ridiculously funny. Also, Mari and Phichit??? A++

The Boyfriend Paradox by japansace (@japansace​)

Canonverse, Rated T, 3K

For some inexplicable reason, Yuuri speaks Russian.

Now, as everyone knows, there are only two viable reasons why anyone ever learns a foreign language:

1. For school. 2. To impress a foreign love interest.

And Victor can’t quite bring himself to believe that Yuuri would be at all studious enough to hunt down Russian classes in Detroit of all places.

(Or: Victor gets jealous of a boyfriend that doesn’t exist.)

• We all think Yuuri is dense and oblivious but like Viktor is just????? SO BLIND???? it’s adorable.

The Thirst Trap by CharmingMonsters

Canonverse, Rated M, 12K (WIP)

Victor Nikiforov reads Thirst Tweets for a Buzzfeed video; Yuuri is anonymously quoted and wants to die. Phichit makes sure everyone is properly hydrated.

• Awkward meet cute, Yuuri the fanboy, sad pre Yuuri Viktor, hilarious but the feels omg 

Giacometti & Co. by Anna (arctic_grey) (@finleighsaid​)

Past Viktor/Chris, Past Yuuri/Chris, Canonverse, Rated M, 7K

Against his shoulder and into the fabric of his t-shirt, Yuuri mumbled, “HaveyoueversleptwithChris?”

He choked on his breath. Oh. Uh. “Errrr…” His mind raced. “A little?”

aka the fic where both Viktor and Yuuri have slept with Chris.

• Amazing!! I owe this fic so much! like really, this is cute, fun and jealous Viktor is the cherry on top.

The Early, Awkward Years by Nomanono (@nomanono​)

Viktor/Chris, Canonverse, Rated E, 6K

Victor Nikiforov wasn't always smooth and suave. His singular focus on skating created a pronounced inability to people, and Chris winds up bearing the brunt of his sexual incompetence.

• This is beyond funny, I had to stop reading 3 times to properly laugh. Inexperienced, not a playboy Viktor is the best best and Chris tries so hard, poor thing.

it's like you're photoshopped by Metis_Ink

Actors AU, Rated T, 10K

Not-So-Local Ex-Dancer Upsets Coworkers by Failing to Communicate with Celebrity Castmate, details at eleven.

//Yuuri just wants to retire already.

• The actual movie is amazing? the author literally wrote an entire musical for this fic, mad respect. And at some point I cried, legit tears, because I was laughing so hard. 

Pinning and Pining by Multiple_Universes (@witharthurkirkland)

Porn actors AU, Rated E, 51K

Victor starts his career as a porn star, working for a studio that has a somewhat… artistic approach to the whole genre. But that’s not the problem. The problem is: he can’t find a way to ask his hot co-star to be his boyfriend.

An AU where Victor and Yuuri are both porn stars who, despite all the hot sex filmed for a ton of movies, still end up in a situation where Yuuri is oblivious and Victor is pining away.

• The porn movies are so cheesy and bad but like artistic so you just laugh and laugh. Viktor is such a softie and there’s so much unresolved romantic tension, a big fave.

though the stars walk backward by alykapedia (@alykapediaaa​)

Space AU, Rated T, 8K

“Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward.” - E.E. Cummings

Yuuri's only ever wanted to send a message out into the great vastness of space, maybe witness First Contact during his lifetime. He gets his wish. And then some.

• Alien viktor!!! an intergalactic booty call!!! fantastic!

Much Ado About Something by eternalsunshine13, Skowronek (@eternalsunshine13, @kaja-skowronek​)

Space AU, Rated T, 33K

By day, Victor Nikiforov is the head of European operations for LearX, a company on the forefront of private space travel. By night, he is makka-baby on Tumblr, a prominent figure in the small but passionate poodle fandom.

By day, Yuuri Katsuki runs F.O.O.L., a subsidiary of Katsuki Enterprises, whose stated goal is to bring LearX down one lawsuit after another. By night, he’s oodlesofpoodles, an active member of the poodle fandom and possibly makka-baby’s biggest fan.

By day, they duke it out in court. By night, they become friends—and maybe something more—as they fall for each other one Tumblr message at a time.

Or: a romantic comedy starring two idiots in love, the Katsuki family, the mothers Nikiforov, the husbands Chulanont-Giacometti, two doggos, six hamsters, one Yurio, and many, many schemes to get our favorite lovebirds together.

• Do they really hate each other?? are they falling in love?? is the tumblr app gonna crash all the damn time? I won't tell, you gotta read this.

The Vastness of Space by shysweetthing (@shysweetthing)

Space AU, Rated E, 16K

As chief communications officer on board the Interstellar Alliance Fleet’s Star Ship Victory, Yuuri doesn’t have to think about who he actually is on his home planet. He just has to listen to his captain, do his job, and…not fall in love with his best friend, the ship’s science officer, Victor Nikiforov.

Well. Two out of three’s not bad.

Then his mother calls with the worst possible news: She, the Empress of New Nihon, has arranged Yuuri’s marriage. There’s only one thing Yuuri can do: Fake a boyfriend, and fake one fast. Who better/worse to play that role than the friend he wishes was more? What can go wrong? It’s not like Yuuri can fall more in love...

• Mutual pining, fake dating and arranged marriage AND SPACE UGHHH all my weak spots. So sweet and good and the writing is on point, i cry.

The Unknown Unknown by opalish

Superpowers AU, Rated T, 7K

Yuuri never meant to become a supervillain. These things just happen to him. 

• One of the funniest fics I’ve ever read, the author has the best comic timing and this fic is beyond me like I practically laughed the whole time.

Dr. Shiny and the Case of the Beautiful Man by ShatteredPrism (@etherealalchemist​​)

Doctors AU, not rated, 6K 

There are about five things that Victor, in this very moment, is absolutely sure of.

1. The spawns of satan are here 2. they are not accompanied by their angel of a mother 3. they are with the most beautiful man he's ever seen 4. his scrubs are wet from where he'd dropped water on himself 5. and Victor is very, very gay.

Emphasis on point five, with a side of cupid's arrow and "ba-dum ba-dum" on a plate.

Because he is Very Gay, and not only is he Very Gay but he is also Hopelessly Attracted to a man who is undoubtedly Very Straight and very Unavailable and is perhaps the Most Beautiful Man Victor has ever seen.

---

in which Victor is a doctor, Yuuri is a godfather, and Yuri just wants some peace and quiet and a larger stash of lollipops.

• So pure and fun and Viktor is so so so extra.

pass that dutch by kiaronna (@kiaronna​)

High School/Mean Girls AU, Rated T, 5K

Maybe Viktor shouldn't have watched Mean Girls before he started his first day of high school in the United States, but he can't help it if he is suddenly inducted into his high school's very fashionable, Instagram-obsessed royalty. He can't help falling in love with the cute soccer player in his literature class, either. Even if he's supposed to be off limits.

• This captures the feel of the movie just right and Viktor is a mess, it’s just so cute.

esnake artist by sizhu (@sizhu)

Neighbors AU, Rated T, 1K

Yuuri meets the disarmingly attractive neighbor from upstairs, courtesy of Phichit forgetting to feed their scale baby.

Snakes like to go on adventures, too.

• Sassy Yuuri defending his reptile baby, a blessing.

all the types of dating by igneousbitch (@makkachinning)

Geology AU, Rated E, 8K

The only type of dating geologists are good at is radioactive carbon-dating. The rest goes completely over their heads.

(Viktor and Yuuri are geology professors leading a field course in Western Australia. Chaos ensues.)

Alfred shifts awkwardly. Looks at Viktor and Yuuri, and asks, “So, uh. Are you guys dating?”

Yuuri greatly misunderstands, and Viktor panics.

Of course we are, Yuuri says. Rather critically, he thinks to himself: why else would he be here, in the scorching, godforsaken heat, surrounded by a hundred kilos of rock, if not for the purpose of radiometric dating?

• I have no idea about geology and I still enjoyed this AU a lot, they’re pining so hard and ugh friends to lovers, my kryptonite.

Unconventional by so_shhy

Fandom AU, Rated M, 4K

After freezing up in front of his idol at a comic con panel, Yuuri decides that he needs an awful lot of alcohol to get over the embarrassment. It is a decision he will regret.

The fandom AU I can’t believe I wrote, featuring movie star!Victor Nikiforov and fanfic author!Yuuri Katsuki.

• So much second hand embarrassment but in a fun way, just brilliant.

If you can't take the heat... by mtothedestiel (@summersteve)

Reality show/Chef AU, not rated, 81K (WIP)

Stay tuned, coming up next it's Top Chef: International! Join thirteen chefs from around the globe as they battle it out for glory and prizes in the one and only New York City (and share all their innermost thoughts along the way!) Who will emerge victorious, and who will burn out?? Heartwarming triumphs, devastating eliminations, and even ~forbidden romance~ are all coming your way on this showstopping season of Top Chef!

• The script format threw me off for some time until I decided to read it and omg?? what a fool I’ve been for so long!!! this is incredible and well researched and makes me hungry all the damn time.

Coming Home Again by carafin (@carafinn)

Roommates AU, Rated T, 10K

Yuuri, given to periodic bouts of paranoia, would often wonder if Viktor is, in fact, a Russian drug lord on the loose, seeking refuge in a nondescript town in America. This would explain a manner of things: his evasiveness whenever probed about his job; the way he’d unpredictably throw out incisive, thoughtful commentary about the morning news over breakfast; his expensive tastes in shirts, watches, and wallets alike; why he’d want to stay here with Yuuri, of all places, when the contents his wardrobe alone could probably afford him a year-long stay at any condominium of his choice in the trendiest part of town.

And then he goes on to discover that Viktor actually has a premium account on club penguin, and that his five penguins are named Peanut Wigglebutt, Luke skyhopper, Zing Zing, Otto Von Longdong, and Mooshoo Vegetable, and beats the idea to death in his head.

• High quality hyper realistic amazing Yuuri the medical student being a mess, Viktor being a mystery but still a dork. Cute romance!!