#tbh i've drawn way too much this week so like

[sleep-nurse]

i just realised i could've drawn something for an ask i have but instead i spent all day zer0hposting like i always do

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

okay disjointed thoughts about the wicked movie 1 day after watching it lets go

-first of all, my movie theater put speakers outside and was just blasting the entire soundtrack on repeat. we could hear it down the street as we were driving up. that's just simply insane

-the opening establishing shots of the land were great but honestly. the very clearly animated dorothy and gang really annoyed me lmfao like I'm sorry it cannot have possibly been too hard to get a few extras to stand in front of a screen for point 5 seconds lol. it was so fast that I Know I'm being dramatic about it but they looked more cartoon than the flying monkey's did

-baby elphie and baby nessa are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life...

-I kinda...like the more human/animal hybrids that the stage show and the original movie had. sorry. like I Get they were only like that bc you can't make a real life goat sing and dance but they're just more interesting to look at than normal-looking animals who happen to talk!

-jeff goldblum's face being hidden every time he had a dance number...I have a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't really dancing lmfao

-whoever decided to bleach ariana's eyebrows deserves jail time

-when jonathan bailey first showed up on screen my mother leaned over to me and whispered 'he's HANDSOME...'

-when cynthia finished the 'wizard and I' I had to actually stop myself from applauding. it felt so weird and rude for there to be dead silence after that performance my GOD.

-also omg the part where she's singing about the wizard de-green-ifying her and the colors in the suncatchers were canceling out the green so she looked normal....inspired!

-madame morrible had these HUGE crystal ball looking rings and I just want them so much lmao

-glinda's friends were really funny the bit were she was like 'I need to lie down' and they immediately picked her up like a plank of wood and carried her off while the one was screaming 'WE NEED A PASTRY!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED A PASTRY!!!' had me cackling

-I wish there was more time between them moving in and 'what is this feeling' starting? like I wanted more time to see them bickering and then also more time seeing them getting along after the ball??

-'dancing through life' was BEAUTIFUL however two complaints 1) why would they cut the line 'what's the most swankified place around?' I Quote That Often and 2) at the end when glinda and elphie dance together like...it's beautiful and everything but from what I remember after their solo moment fieryo joins them?? and they have a cute three way dance moment??? and I'm very pro "they're all in love with each other" so I missed that lol

-also just in general would of liked to see more of fieryo with the girls! like it felt like ball->lion cub->emerald city, in the course of a couple days, and idk I just feel like they could have slowed it down a bit?? especially since they broke it into two movies?? like I don't think that Actually all happened in the span of a week, but they didn't do a good enough job establishing how much time was passing so it Felt like it. which is dumb bc then it just doesn't seem realistic that elphie and glinda are THAT attached to each other by defying gravity like it feels like not enough time has passed for them to really know each other

-boq felt very mild tbh I know ethan can be more unhinged than that

-would've liked to see glinda in magic class!!

-I was a little underwhelmed by elphaba's costumes? like there were clearly patterns on the material but it was all the same shade of black so you couldn't make anything out. it felt a bit flat. and I love the idea behind the freckles I agree with freckles I am pro freckles HOWEVER her's looked very obviously drawn on. like, I have seen way more realistic fake freckles before. so that was a bit annoying

-other than the lunchmeat dress glinda's costumes were good! especially loved the flower shaped one she wore to the ball

-the whole trying to escape in the hot air ballon scene was cool as hell but as the flaming remains of it fell to the ground I couldn't help but be like wow...she really just killed all those guards huh!

-also lmfao the bit in the woods with the lion club and fieryo has like a scratch on his temple. genuinely thought to myself 'is that his lobotomy scar' lmfao

-still trying to get over the part in dancing through life where people were dancing on the spinning gears in the clock tower...bitch

-the flying monkeys were correctly horrifying

-when I saw the broomstick I was like 'won't that be really uncomfortable between your legs' but then she just held it next to her like they do in the stage show and I was like....okay I guess you win that one? lmfao like I don't mind it for when she's hovering but when they had her like supersonic zooming on the broom it was weird that she wasn't actually riding it

-overall I just don't understand how it's an adaptation of act 1 but it's the length of the entire stage show?? lmao like I wish they took advantage of the split and added so much more but really really it was still just such a solid great movie. 5 stars. I can't keep talking about it right now I'm gonna start screaming.

[slimewares]

actually still thinking about the idea I had while high the other night about like contagious pregnancy and the idea that it could change anyone's body, regardless of sex, into being able to both be pregnant and get others pregnant (holy fuck this turned out way longer than I expected so, uh putting it under the thing)

[and btw while personally I did have kinda like an alien-ish sex parasite thing in mind, you also could just read it as just a fantastical multiples/rapid pregnancy type thing, tbh do whatever your want :)]

Like, imagine you're at a party or something. You start chatting with this trans girl who's a friend of a friend of yours. Or maybe a friend of a friend of a friend. You're not sure. In any event, being two of only a few trans people at the party, you're naturally drawn together. You think she's really cute and you quickly find that she's into you too. After flirting for a while, she suggests you two duck into a nearby room for some privacy together. You wouldn't usually let things move this fast, but you've been partying for a while and being drunk/high always did make you feel deliciously easy. Although, now that you think about it, you haven't seen her drink or anything all night, but with the way she strokes your thigh and whispers how badly she wants you right now, you don't care.

The second the door to the bedroom closes, she's all over you. In between striping off your clothes and kissing every inch of your skin that's available to her, she tells you just how insatiably horny she's been recently.

"My girlfriend and I broke up a couple weeks ago," she says as she backs you towards the bed, "and with no one to touch me, I've been so horny I could explode."

You smile as she pushes you back on the mattress, legs open and your cunt dripping wet, thrilled to be on display for her. She leans down and kisses you, her tongue easily sliding into your mouth. You both moan as you make out and you gently tug on her shirt, equally eager to get a look at her body. When she does undress, you try to take a moment to take in the beauty of the soft curves of her breasts and hips and thighs. You also notice that she seems a bit bashful about her stomach.

"Sorry, I guess I've been taking the breakup harder than I thought." She says as she places a hand on the slight bulge to her belly. "I have no idea what's been causing me to gain weight as quickly as I have."

You pull her back down on top of you and reassure her that you don't mind at all.

While usually you'd prefer to get a decent amount of foreplay in, especially with how mouthwatering her cock and tits are, you're both so wound up and you're already so wet that she wastes no time in lining herself up with your entrance.

She pushes into you easily. You let moans and sighs fall from your mouth freely as you feel her slide deep inside of you. You shudder slightly as you feel her tip brush against your cervix once she bottoms out.

"Comfortable?" She asks, breath slightly shaky.

You nod. She holds still in you for a moment, allowing you both to adjust to the feeling of the other. She reaches down between the two of you and gently strokes your dick, experimenting with the way it makes you twitch around her. She laughs to herself about something, you don't really catch it, but you gather that she's surprised as to just how hard she is. She shifts the two of you, pushing your legs back and allowing her to slide just a bit farther into you. You smile to yourself as you notice the way that this position allows you two to be close enough that her stomach slightly rubs against yours.

'Cute.' You think.

You can sense just how eager she is and how much she's restraining herself, so you give her the go ahead to start moving. She pulls almost all the way out and then slowly pushes back into you, delighting in the soft moans it pulls from both of you.

She starts pumping in and out of you at a sensual pace, clearly wanting to make it last and enjoying the ease with which she can make you whimper under her, but you sense that something is eating away at her will. A hungry look grows on her face and her hips start driving into you harder and faster. It's not long before she gives in to whatever temptation was nagging at her and she begins to truly pound you into the mattress. You jerk yourself as she fucks you, but you hardly need it. You swear you're seeing stars with the way her cock keeps hitting your cervix with each thrust.

"You like it?" She pants down at you.

"Ah! Fuck! Yeah!" You're barely even able to form a coherent thought.

She smirks cockily and begins sucking a trail of hickies up your neck. The sensation makes you arch up toward her. You feel like you've completely lost control as you frantically stroke yourself.

"Uh, uh, I-" you stutter. "Al- uh, almost!"

With the way she's breathing heavily in your ear and desperately grinding into you, you figure she's about to cum as well.

"Oh, yes, baby!" You moan as you feel yourself reach the edge.

Just as you do, she drives almost painfully deep inside of you and you both cry out as you feel her throbbing cock shoot rope after thick rope of cum into you. You can't help but throw your head back as your combined orgasms overtake you. Her cock pulsing deep within you, coating your insides with her cum, and your cunt squeezing her, milking more out of her and coaxing her cum deeper and deeper.

She pulls out of you and flops down onto the bed beside you. You feel a little sore, but the feeling of her warm spend pooling around the tingling entrance to your womb more than makes up for it. You slowly and absentmindedly rub your cunt, smearing the cum that's beginning to drip out of you all over your dick. In your cross-faded haze, you try to remember if she or your friend mentioned how long she's been on hormones and try to do the mental math regarding sperm count, but you soon decide that that's sober you's problem and, for now, you don't care.

You're about to ask for her number when suddenly she climbs back on top of you, hard as a rock already.

"This position good for round two?"

Not knowing what else to do, you just stupidly nod and let her push her cum back inside of you as she begins fucking you again.

She continues to fuck you all night. Both of you cum several times, and she makes sure that all of her orgasms result in you getting filled.

Things start to blur in your memory at this point, but you wake up in the morning with her number and social media handles already in your phone and an obscene amount of her cum seeping out of your pussy.

Once you get home you jump straight in the shower. You wash yourself as best you can, truly amazed at the amount of cum stuffed inside of you. As you push it out, you can't help but feel turned on. You start to play with your dick. You remember how good it felt to be filled by her. You start feeling a strange, yet not unwelcome, warm thrumming feeling radiating from your cervix and wonder whether any of her sperm have managed to wriggle their way into your womb yet. It's that thought that makes you cum. You ride out your orgasm and try to continue with your shower once you've recovered. But you start to feel a slight cramp coming on.

'Oh, damn, is my period coming back?' You wonder.

You try to ignore it, but it does remind you that there is a very real possibility that her cum did have sperm in it, and while you don't know for sure about her, you know that you are fertile. As you jump out of the shower and dry off, you figure that you should stop by the drug store for some plan b while you're out today. Just in case.

At first everything seems normal. You and the girl chat online every now and again, but unfortunately your schedules don't line up in a way that lets you meet up again any time soon. You think about her often. Really often actually. You find that your libido has gone up like crazy recently, but you don't worry about it too much.

After a couple weeks though, you start to notice some strange things. For one thing you keep feeling nauseous. The first time you figured that you were just hungover from the party, but you just keep feeling sick. And then there's the abdominal cramps. You start to get worried. Eventually you hear about some weird stomach bug that's been going around recently.

You wonder if it's the flu or something more serious, so you figure you should ask the girl you slept with if she's come down with anything. You've both been pretty busy recently, and haven't been talking a lot, so you're completely shocked when you go to her page and see that she's announced that she's going to be a mom. Her post doesn't have a lot of details, but she seems incredibly excited. Trying to figure this out, you remember that she and her ex-girlfriend are still mutuals, so you go to her page to see if she's posted anything about this. You see that her ex had made a similar post announcing that she was pregnant.

You figure maybe they got back together and got pregnant. For a moment, you're a little hurt. While you weren't exactly going steady with this girl, to think that she'd get back with her ex and decide to start a family without telling you... wait a minute. Her post saying that she just found out that she's having a kid is from just a few days ago, but her ex's post is from almost a month ago. Did she really get into a new relationship and get her new partner pregnant that soon after her ex did? That would be a pretty big coincidence. Then again, as you scroll through your timeline, you see that quite a few people you know or at least follow are announcing their pregnancies.

You decide that this is all too weird. You send a message to the girl saying that you'd like to talk over a few things when she's free, and go to bed for the night.

That night you're roused from your dreams by more abdominal cramps. A particularly strange rolling pain pulls you into wakefulness.

"Ah!" You hiss. "The fuck?"

The cramp begins to melt away into that same strange, warm feeling deep in your womb. In fact, your whole body is tingling, the epicenter of the sensation seeming to be your dick. The throbbing of your tdick is undeniable, you can't help but shove your hand into your boxers and start rubbing yourself.

But something's off. You feel harder, bigger even. You must be mistaken, you've been on testosterone long enough that you didn't think you'd be experiencing any further bottom growth, and especially not out of the blue. You turn over in your bed to turn the light on.

Oh wow.

As you look down to inspect your dick, you discover that you actually can't see it. Obscuring what would usually be a clear line of sight to your crotch is a small, but undeniable bump in your abdomen.

"Wha-" You gasp aloud. "H-how?"

You place a hand on your stomach, but immediately pull it back when a strange fluttering sensation responds to your touch.

This doesn't make any sense. This doesn't make any sense! You took the emergency contraceptive, you can't be pregnant! And even if you were, you wouldn't be this far along already, right? Not overnight. Right?

Your mind is racing. But louder than your thoughts, the pulse of arousal radiating all over your body grows greater and greater until you feel like you can't think at all. The twitch in your boxers can no longer be ignored.

You sit up a bit, while your stomach has grown, you can still see past it with relative ease. You pull down your boxers.

Oh wow.

Your dick is big. Not just tdick big, although you certainly had no complaints about your size before. But now, your dick has somehow become not only quite a bit longer, but thicker too. And as you wrap your fingers around it, sighing at the way it throbs at your touch, you also think it might be... leaking? You begin to stroke up and down your dick and see that, yes, beads of wetness are dripping from the tip.

Questions still flood your mind, but you can't help but focus all of your attention on this miracle between your legs. You wrap your hand around your dick and without hesitation, you begin fucking up into your fist with an animalistic need.

Your eyes roll back in your head at the familiar, yet new sensation. You twist your hand, squeeze yourself, every experimental touch feels like heaven. It doesn't take you very long before the feeling overwhelms you and, panting like a dog, you cum hard. And as you feel a warm wetness splash across your round belly, you realize that you didn't just have an orgasm, you truly came. You look back down at yourself, the thick white liquid still dripping from the tip of your dick confirms it.

You lie back. and stare at the ceiling. Somehow, you're pregnant, or at the very least, having something stirring in your womb. And not only are you that, but you somehow also have a dick that can ejaculate. You should be confused, you should be panicking. But you're not. The warm thrumming of your womb resonates throughout your body and leaves you in a state of total euphoria. You are at peace. You are happy, and something deep within you tells you that you want to share this happiness and the stirring in your loins tells you that you are not completely satisfied.

Just then you get a notification on your phone. It's the girl.

"it's been a while, how are you feeling?" She messages. "there's another party im going to soon and theres lots of cute guys and girls who i think we should meet :)"

You look down at your phone and smile.

[sur-i-ki]

ok this one doesn't get a chapter title. I've spent a lot of time writing and re-writing this because of how much of it is from what I've experienced. but. it needs to happen. so imma js post it tbh.

14/20

You try not to go into his room. It’s still his room, though he’s been gone long enough for the world to expect you to call it something else. A storage space. A guest room. Anything but what it is—a shrine.

The mere thought of it used to paralyze you—the weight of what you’d see, of what you’d feel, too unbearable to entertain. But now, standing here in the doorway, you realize you didn’t choose this moment. It chose you, dragging you here on legs that don’t feel like yours, under a weight that has sat on your chest for days, weeks, months.

The door creaks when you push it open, and the sound slices through the silence like something alive. You flinch, but you don’t stop. Your breath comes shallow and fast as if your body already knows what your heart refuses to acknowledge: you’re not ready for this.

The room is the same as the day he left it. The air smells stale, untouched, yet faint traces of him linger like a ghost you can’t exorcise. That warm, earthy cologne he always used, the one you told him made him smell like sunlight. You breathe it in too deeply, and it punches through your lungs like a blade. Your heart clenches at the familiarity, at the cruel way it pulls you back to a time when he was still here, still laughing, still alive.

You step inside, each movement tentative, like the floor might crack open beneath your weight. The bed is unmade, the sheets twisted and pushed aside in a way that’s so him it hurts. He always hated making the bed. "What’s the point?" he used to say, grinning in that lopsided way that made you want to laugh and scream at the same time. The comforter is bunched at the corner where he kicked it off the last time he slept here. His shirt is draped over the chair in the corner, a crumpled thing that looks like him—slumped, careless, perfect. And the sneakers. You hate the sneakers. He left them by the door, one lying on its side like he rushed out, like he planned to come back.

Your knees buckle, and you sit down heavily on the edge of the mattress. The fabric is cold under your fingertips, no longer carrying the warmth of him. You press your hands into the sheets, gripping them as if they might anchor you, but all they do is remind you of the emptiness that’s replaced him.

Your eyes wander without permission, catching on the little things that used to be invisible in the background of your life. The sneakers by the door, one tipped over, the laces undone. There’s a mug on the desk, dried tea leaves clinging to the edges like a relic. You pick it up because you can’t help yourself, the ceramic warm in your memory though cold now, the handle shaped to fit his hand. You clutch it so tightly your fingers ache. If you let go, it will shatter. If you don’t, you will.

A jacket draped over the chair in the corner, sleeves dangling lifelessly. Each item feels like a tiny wound, slicing into you in ways you didn’t know were possible.

There’s a photo on the desk. You almost don’t want to look at it, but your gaze is drawn to it like a magnet. It’s the two of you, grinning, arms slung over each other’s shoulders like the world could never touch you. The frame is crooked, leaning slightly against a stack of books he never got around to reading. Your throat tightens, and your vision blurs as tears rise unbidden.

You feel them spilling down your cheeks, hot and relentless, like a dam has finally broken. You try to wipe them away, but it’s useless. They just keep coming, each drop carving a path down your face, each sob ripping through your chest like shards of glass.

The grief is suffocating, pressing down on you like a weight you can’t escape. It’s in the air, thick and cloying, sticking to your skin and filling your lungs until you can’t breathe. It’s in your head, a constant hum of what-ifs and should-haves that won’t leave you alone. It’s in your heart, a jagged, bleeding thing that refuses to heal.

You clutch the photo to your chest, curling into yourself like you can fold away the pain. But it doesn’t work. Nothing works. He’s everywhere in this room. In the things he left behind, in the silence that’s too loud, in the memories that play on a loop in your mind.

You remember the way he used to sit at that desk, scribbling notes or sketching ideas he’d never finish. The way he’d hum under his breath, always a little off-key but somehow perfect. The way he’d glance up at you, his eyes soft and full of something you didn’t realize you’d miss until it was gone.

You can almost hear his voice, the teasing lilt of it as he’d call your name, the warmth of it wrapping around you like a hug. You can almost feel his hand brushing against yours, a casual touch that felt anything but casual. You can almost see him, standing in the doorway with that smile that made the world seem brighter.

But it’s all in your head. He’s gone, and no amount of wishing will bring him back.

The tears slow eventually, leaving you feeling hollow and raw. Your chest aches, and your head pounds, but you don’t move. You can’t. The thought of leaving this room feels impossible, like walking away would mean letting him go for good.

Your fingers brush against the comforter, tracing the patterns he used to complain about. “Too busy,” he’d said, but he kept it anyway because it was your choice, and he always let you have your way in the end.

A shaky breath escapes you as you lean forward, resting your head in your hands. The grief is quieter now, but it’s no less sharp. It cuts through you in waves, each one leaving you more worn down than the last.

You think about all the things you’ll never get to say to him. All the moments you’ll never share. All the times you’ll have to face the world without him by your side.

The room is a graveyard of what once was, each object a headstone for a memory you can’t let go of. You want to gather them all up, to keep them close so you won’t forget, but you know that’s impossible. The memories will fade, no matter how tightly you hold on.

And that terrifies you.

You don’t know how long you sit there, lost in the ache of what you’ve lost. Time seems meaningless, stretching and twisting until it feels like you’ve been there forever.

Eventually, your body moves on its own, your fingers reaching out to touch the photo again. You trace his face with trembling hands, as if you can somehow bring him back to life through sheer willpower. But the glass is cold under your fingertips, a harsh reminder of the distance between you.

He’s everywhere, and he’s nowhere.

The room feels like it’s closing in on you, the walls pressing closer, the air growing heavier. You stand abruptly, the motion making your head spin. You stumble toward the door, your legs shaky and unsteady.

You pause in the doorway, glancing back one last time. The room looks the same, but it feels different now. Or maybe you’re the one who’s different.

As you step into the hallway, the air feels cooler, lighter, but it doesn’t help. The weight of him follows you, clinging to your skin, your mind, your heart.

You don’t look back. You can’t.

Because if you do, you know you’ll never leave.

⇝ 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯

[xserpx]

jayce arcane!

How I feel about this character?

Jayce, my baby, my sweet, sweet child they could never make me hate you. Easily my favourite character in the show. Earnestness is one of my favourite character traits, and I love how emotional Jayce is, how he's such a touchy-feely guy, the golden retriever to Viktor's black cat if you will. Actually, there's something to be said (and this applies to Viktor too) for the fact that Jayce isn't a dick about how smart he is. Thinking about it, that's an aspect of the show that could be so insufferable, if the science bros actually milked it in the way scientist characters often do, especially since, as I said in the Viktor post, I think they're both some flavour of Doomed Scientist. Sure, Jayce had his moment of being shot down by Heimerdinger, but he wasn't resentful, he didn't stew with arrogant rage, he just thought Heimerdinger was wrong and decided to manipulate and manwhore his way to the top instead.

He's a very dynamic character, he's a scientist, a fighter, a politician, and a lover/friend, all of which are important at one point or another, and at the same time he's kind of dorky and simple, with a boyish charm that you can easily underestimate. It's impressive that he can be all of those things without it feeling forced or like he's OOC at times.

Also it would be remiss of me to add that he really does remind me of Leo dan Brock from Joe Abercrombie's Age of Madness trilogy. Jayce is much smarter and infinitely more likeable, but I'm sure the reason I'm so drawn to Jayce is because of their similarities. Earnestness, man! I can't get enough of it!

All the people I ship romantically with this character?

Mel & Viktor. Both equally. Like how I ship Arthur from BBC Merlin with both Gwen & Merlin, don't make me choose. I am also deeply in awe of Mel, she's so gorgeous and perfect, so I totally relate to Jayce in that regard too.

My non-romantic OTP for this character?

I really liked the moments in S1 with Cait and Jayce, I wish there was more of them tbh! Also Jayce & Vi were cool, and in the same way I like the idea of Mel being friends with Viktor, I'd love for Vi & Cait to be friends with Jayce. I'm intrigued by Jayce & Ekko, they're an unlikely duo for sure and I'm hoping we'll get to see more of them next week.

My unpopular opinion about this character?

Not really unpopular, but I've just always liked him since day one. I know he rubbed people up the wrong way with his fascistic bent in S1, but I loved it regardless.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon?

Ngl, at this point I really would love Jayce/Viktor to be canon. Like, I still think it would be OK if that doesn't happen, I'm not getting my hopes up, but it would take the show to the next level IMO, especially with the emotions ramping up this season already. I want a confession of love (not just affection!!), even they don't do more than that in a way that allows people to interpret it as platonic. I'm hoping the majority of the focus will be on Jayce, Mel, and Ekko, and really the biggest stake for Jayce is his relationship with Viktor Those chips needs to be cashed in! (though a reunion with Mel wouldn't go amiss either, I really hope she gets her considerable due in Act 3 D:). I'm a fan of event TV and the thought of a JayVik confession happening next week is like Yuri on Ice episode 10 levels of Internet meltdown (what is itwith characters called Viktor?). But nope. Not getting my hopes up. Nuh uh. 😐

[tendermiasma]

I go back to the Halsin Clover art you posted like last November every uh couple of days or so. It's just. It's perfect. I favorited it way back when before I even got to play BG3 for the first time. It's beautiful. And now that I've met Halsin in the game, I'd kill for him. (Tbh, I have.) I love that art. I love how pretty Clover is and how big Halsin is and how sweet Halsin is to Clover and the way you've drawn Halsin on his knees looking up softly at Clover and I could go on a long time. But anyhow, I just kind of click back to it every week or so and sigh. It's so emotionally full. It feels like warm honey and smooth silk. It looks like how morning sunshine feels. It's lovely.

Aw man... this was so nice to read... I feel bad because my response to such lovely and thoughtful compliments is to abloobloo a little and be much less coherent but I'm so happy you're feeling this kind of connection with these little guys

I love using that kind of stage as character development with how they feel towards each other as well as how they feel about themselves. It's all very new to Clover, from real human connection to loving someone and intimacy and Halsin wants nothing more than to keep him safe and show him the world can be soft sometimes-- He'd know best from what he's been through. Also it's fun. (Also I have killed for Halsin too, I literally started playing because Larian dangled him in front of me)

[forestfullofberries]

please do tell me your thoughts on the EPIC trio (Eury, Ody, and Polites) ramble all about them i love hearing others thoughts on them (and i might snatch a few HC for myself in the process lol) i could talk about them forever honestly

bestie (no idea who you are) what do you think i've been doing on this blog for the past tree weeks

anyway. odysseus used to be my favorite character (now the spot is taken by eurylochus (i don't love ody any less now, i just love eurylochus more)), i am always drawn to characters who go through absolute hell while having enough drive to persevere, because they have something worth surviving for.

polites... i feel like i don't know enough about him. how did he manage to bring all of that optimism through 10 years of war? or did he develop it during/after the war as a way to cope? how much of it is a front he puts up for the sake of others? does he have anybody waiting for him at home? what flaws, shortcomings does he have? is he naive or is he wise? is he both? i just don't know, there was so little time to get to know him.

now, eurylochus. i didn't think much of him at the start, just like probably a lot of us, but then i started warming up to him, even before thunder saga put him in such a spotlight. there's just something about him being the one who cares for the crew. the voice of the crew. i like the sound of it.

before thunder saga came out i had this vision for the underworld animatic, i wanted to use chorus time to show eurylochus going around the ship trying to keep the crew from total despair, comforting those who are crying, trying to ground those who are having the worst visions. but now i don't think he'd be in the condition to do that, with his own baggage of opening the bag and seeing everyone who died because of it? yeeeaah, he's the one who needed comfort during that underworld trip.

also, i was adamant that he didn't open the bag. i was just so sure it would be out of character for him! cautious pessimistic eurylochus? messing with a dangerous magic object? why on earth would he do that!! (i still don't completely understand why he did that tbh, but i guess the growing mistrust from luck runs out played a role there)

and of course, thunder saga has me obsessed with the guy. it's the tragedy of it all. the one thing he found purpose in - protecting the crew - and they're all dead now. don't even get me started on him having his own Just a Man moment. devastating. so of course i play mutiny on repeat.

headcanons? eury aro. (disclaimer, i know very little of his mythological background outside of the odyssey, and frankly do not care) i think he and ctimene are in an aromantic version of lavender marriage. they're good friends, and they make the home life work, and they care for each other a whole lot, but also they both know they'd be fine on their own. ctimene has a good relationship with eurylochus' side of the family, and he knows they will take care of her in times of need.

that's why returning home as soon as possible is not that high on his priority list, especially when it comes to preserving lives. he knows that every single man in their army has someone waiting for them at home, and each life lost means many broken hearts. so yeah, he's not very keen on taking risks.

as opposed to odysseus, who knows he's on a ticking clock. the prophecy was vague, but it's enough to put together the situation: empty throne, widowed queen, only heir too young to do anything. of course he's in a rush.

my other headcanon is that as a kid, eurylochus had his growth spurt relatively late, and for most of their childhood he was shorter and scrawnier than both odysseus and polites :D

[stormyoceans]

vv brainrot continuation:

dad, I missed you (mom, I missed you)

that cute "feels so good" sound (pink drink, I really want to try it)

hugs in bed are the same as after joob’s funeral

part 3/4 damn music from vice versa! aof, fuck, just admit everything already!

we got lost (and found our local glasshouse)

bonfires and songs with guitar

return of shirts (and they smell like each other. what could be more erotic)

interrupted kiss (okay, not because of bad breath)

the description of the sky is worthy of rawi’s palette the guys were right, this damn miss universe appeared before our eyes. lord, I'm not completely alive, monica. what about you? you know, maybe sea didn’t lie, and the remaining episodes won’t be sad even despite the breakup, bc the worst and most expected has already happened, and then everything will go easier. william's song brought me to tears, it's beautiful! and I liked day's version. its so romantic. but, forgive me, the bed scene could have been much better, the angles and amount of blur didn’t turn out very well, and, tbh, I expected more tactility from day, so that he could study mork’s body with his hands. it was so important to him, but they showed it to us very quickly and didn’t spend enough time on it. but I really liked that they were presented as switch, moving away from the nightmare clichés, it's great. the scene on the mountain is the pinnacle of it all, and lord knows the boys pulled it off superbly. it was so emotional. I crumbled like sand and don’t know how I’ll recover by next week. monica, share your brainrot, I’m sure I missed everything possible bc I was so busy in the bed scene.

SORRY PINKYBRAIN IM AFRAID IM GONNA BE COMPLETELY USELESS THIS TIME AROUND I SWEAR I EVEN TRIED TO REWATCH THE EPISODE TO PICK UP MORE PARALLELS BUT I ONLY ENDED UP SOBBING ON THE FLOOR WHILE CLUTCHING A BUNCH OF SCREENSHOTS TO MY CHEST

and you've already pointed out all of these moments but allow me to put them side by side anyway because!!!!!!!

[CHANTS] COMFORT SHIPS COMFORT SHIPS COMFORT SHIPS PORTRAYED BY THE MOST COMFORT BOYS JUST SO COMFORT SHAPED COMFORT SHIPS!!!!!!!!!

and even if these two moments can’t really be compared THEY INVENTED EMOTIONAL FOREHEAD TOUCHES TOO!!!!!!!!

my personal emotional devastation aside, tho, i do think there are some parallels to be drawn between episode 9 of vice versa and episode 9 of last twilight, between puen on an island finally accepting his life in the original universe and by the end "gaining sight" on who talay really is, and day on a mountain finally accepting going blind and having his last sight being mork. i also think it's interesting that in last twilight (the ost) at one point there's the line "my heart cherishes the memory of us" while in vice versa the very last line of friend credits' second movie is "though we aren't together tomorrow, you're always here in my memories". like idk if it's a reach but both shows are about seeing when you can't really see (not just in the literal physical sense) and acceptance and carrying this love that helped you through it all with you and i just think someone with a brain activity currently higher than my own could make some connections!!!!!!!!

i personally did like the sex scene (i've talked about it here a little if you're interested), but i think i also get what you mean. if it were for me we would definitely have gotten a 17 minutes long one take focused on day's hands as he traced every part of mork's body starting from his face and slowly making his way down to his feet. but at the same time i wonder if it would have made sense for their first time. i feel like day was already so preoccupied with his sight being almost gone that what he needed in that moment was to get lost in the feelings rather than commit mork's body to memory. and who knows, last twilight has already broken p’aof’s habit of having only a couple of kisses in his shows, maybe it will make him give us another intimate scene too!!!

[millepara]

himitsu no aipri episode 1 (a week late)

it's been so long since I've written about a priseries (or any other idol) show... I'm realizing that I legit didn't think I'd ever get the chance again. I got tired of doing it before because I felt like I was either complaining too much (planet) or just happy abt everything that was happening (primagi) and thus had nothing interesting to say either way, but ever since watching aipri on sunday I've been looking forward to this... I think I'm just happy about new idol anime content after such a long drought tbh but it's something good that aipri has already brought us, no matter what you or I think of anything else about it.

I missed the first 5 minutes bc I was reading bad fanfiction in bed to wake up (nigh daily routine) and totally forgot abt aipri... then I did remember and had to sprint to my computer, but the stream kept stopping so I missed some critical stuff throughout. I liked the ep okay, but maybe actually seeing all of it will improve it?

ohhh ok it starts off with those cute lemon coords in the op. actually this does help, those coords are easily my favs that I've seen in aipri so far. esp Mitsuki's blue one is sooo cute... I am saying this as a person that buys every single blue gingham item of clothing I come across though haha. I will say that the coord & dance totally don't match the sort of sweeping fairytale (just mistyped that as dairytale. hm) majesty that the bgm and voiceover is going for, but...

oh, I didn't know that Mitsuki had a snippet of performance in here. I've seen it in gameplay videos already, I like it ok---wow, it's already over.

the way Mitsuki is pausing for her viewers to answer is just like shows for preschoolers... they're really going after that age group, huh. (do actual streamers do stuff like that....?)

oh, I already saw Himari get a call from her sister. looks like I only missed 1 minute.

that is the ugliest anime dog I've ever seen, hands down, but Hiiro is cute. I'm sure she's well on her way to being the Non or whoever the prichan little sister was of aipri, in terms of popularity.

I do think it is very, very interesting that in this pretty series anime which is aimed at perhaps the youngest audience yet, they have put the mc in a dorm, away from her family. weird. actually I am for the first time realizing exactly how many anime have schools with dorms. you'd think japan is overflowing w boarding schools but idk of a single one lmao...

Mitsuki: it sure was the right decision to move into the dorm!

Himari: (completely ignores her statement to bring up aipri)

Himari's look out of aipri is really cute, I've finally decided. it's a shame that her twintails as an aipri are such a weird shape??? why do they curve up on the outside like that, all I can see is a large intestine when I look at them...... :(

the first time I watched this my internet cut out just as Mitsuki's face was approaching Himari's. I knew what she was doing bc of the comic in the aipri fanbook, but still it was like, oh! looks like it's gonna be another totally straight pretty series show!

oh man, the op. the song itself is cute and catchy, but this vtuber's voice is just too much, and it gets more too much as the song goes on. I get the appeal of her being a "real-life aipri", and presumably she's popular so her fans might be drawn to watch, but I hope she doesn't sing the next op too..... oh you know what would be kind of cool is if every op was sung by a different vtuber. that way if one sucked we wouldn't have to hear them again, and they'd showcase a lot of different people.

Meganee is especially exceptionally cute in her op cameo!!!

oh. A Crush. let it be insignificant 🙏 but if they become idol princesses too I'll allow it.

I like Chii's voice a lot, and her passion regarding aipri, but on the list of things I'm finding myself saying "oh. shame :( " about is her unfortunate hairstyle. also speaking of things that remind me of other things, her name Chii Mamiya sounds like "chi mamire" (blood-soaked) or "chi mame" (blood blister). surely I am not the only Japanese understander who hears this.

Yusa Kouji-sensei has by far my fav character design in this show. he is officially my favorite aipri.

wow, it's the classic post-covid tv broadcast opening ceremony... a chillingly real element in this fantasy rich kid school. irl this is the first year since covid we've had in-person opening ceremonies in many schools, it's a shame they don't get to at paradise academy yet lmao

I'm not even going to touch this whole welcome speech. I'm just going to slowly back away and pretend like I didn't see anything.

I love the aikatsu-level background character design in this classroom!! bicolor twintails is cute.

I wonder if these elementary schoolers are relevant or are just there to show how many people are watching Himari.

lmao despite what I said about Chii I think we were sharing the same braincell when she said "Her Victoria levels are out of control!!" they totally are!!

am I misunderstanding this or did Victoria not ban aipri? didn't she say "in moderation" only...? this is literally the same kind of thing schools say irl abt cutting down on screen time. just more dramatic.

so the elementary kid is relevant. Yuma... will he be an aipri too? if not, why would he even exist?

I didn't catch the first time around that this bracelet was the one uh, Candy Motif was fiddling with in the student council meeting. where'd she get it from?

this is the least amount of love I've ever seen put into a commercial break eyecatch.

are the aimus... cute? I can't see it...

it's very funny that the lipstick immediately disappears when they go 3d. they knew it looks bad, and they've still gotta cram it in there for that single second to sell toys.

this cgi. I think everyone's said it so far, but it's really not the best... I think I might like the game's graphics a little better, even. I do like seeing the coords lit up at least.

P.O.P.P.Y is a cute enough song. it's just barely on the listenable side of the line for me, but I do think it's a great match for what aipri is going for. also that is definitely a dance that was made for preschoolers to imitate.

buzzalyume... idk if anyone is aware or not, but buzz is a word that's in really common use regarding social media in japan atm. like you would say "that's buzzing" (literally I mean, figuratively it's more like "that's all the buzz" like the english use of the word) about something that's all over your timeline or whatever. so it's not totally out of left field for them to choose that word in particular, but it doesn't mean that it sounds any less forced, that's for sure!!

Bear Bear Bear's voice is cute.

I don't like these emoji reactions all over the screen. not cute.

the ed is cute.

...finally, I watched it all. whew. I have to say, I was not wowed by it! but it was fine. it's far better than having no pretty series at all. I keep thinking "I'll put off my opinion till I know more about it" about aipri and I'm tempted to say it again now--in this episode we barely met the main two characters in favor of worldbuilding. it kind of makes sense as the first ep of a little kid show, but will the rest of the show stay at this same level of character depth? it's way too early to say. but for me, that's what'll determine how much I like it.

[isaac-clarke]

So my mentorship ended around 2 months ago at the start of September and I never quite got around to talking about it lol. Mostly because stuff kept happening. Work bullshit but also health stuff cropped up. So ironically enough, since then, I haven't actually drawn anything (besides a couple small 5 minute doodles here and there). And tbh? I'm okay with that.

One of the reasons I went for my mentorship with Chira was to not just work on my technical skills, but my own relationship with my art which I knew wasn't in a good spot and hadn't been at all for several year. I developed anxiety from certain personal stuff that happened way back in 2012 and it slowly poisoned a lot of stuff over the years. Including my attitude towards my art.

To put it shortly, I deal with avoidance quite a bit when it comes to anxiety and stuff that makes me anxious. And art is one of those. It used to be really bad in like 2017 when I didn't even know I had it, I could barely draw circles, much less doodles, and I would have to claw my way back up to something relatively comfortable. I also tended to stay in my safe zone because of this. Because of my anxiety, but also chronic allergies, and RSI, decent drawing sessions where inconsistent and scattered despite my effort. And when I would be able to draw-- I'd always stick with something safe, what I know I'm good at. I'd never go out of my comfort zone despite knowing full well I needed to in order to improve. So for anxiety wise, I would get anxious too if I went too long without drawing because I was scared I'd revert back to the hard avoidance and needing to claw my way back up again. Which HAS happened multiple times. Chira helped me realize it's a consequence of my anxiety and, yes, it WILL happen again. But to not worry, because every single time I've bounced back. And I'll bounce back again. Coming to terms with that helped a lot.

To top that off I always felt just.... like I'll never be good enough because I've KNOWN since I graduated art school that my fundamentals were very lacking in several areas. The only one it wasn't was anything to do with colors, color theory, values..etc. But everything else? Lol. I knew in 2015 when I was graduating that I wasn't anywhere near professional, that there was still so many gaps in my fundamentals I genuinely didn't understand and that made me feel awful. I thought I was a shitty artist, and I never really knew where to even focus to improve on them. Ergo: avoidance, staying in the safe spots.

So for 6 months this is what Chira helped me with: with my fundamentals but also pealing back my thoughts and attitude. Why did I think a certain way? Approach things a certain way? Avoid things? Why did I think I was a mediocre artist when graduating? Was it not my school failing to properly educate me? (Which I realized was the case, 10 classes per week for 3 years did not do me favors beyond feeling I need to rush and partially apply fundamentals without truly learning nor understanding them). Chira also helped me realize I had a fixed mindset and had a lot of unhealthy habits regarding my art. I really learned how to self reflect too, especially if my anxiety related feelings started to really creep in. (Like getting frustrated, knowing I'm weak at a certain thing and it's just not clicking withing the first few tries..etc)

My fundamentals vastly improved too-- my homework for the whole six months was basically doing gesture figures and over time applying more and more things. Proper perspective, construction, clothing/wrinkles..etc. And from month 1 to month 6 I've seen such an improvement.

Tbh I used to feel so ashamed, knowing I graduated from art school with my fundamentals lacking so hard. And my anxiety hindered me for YEARS about improving it. I'm sure if I didn't have it I'd be far beyond where I am now, but I have it. And there's no use crying over spilt milk.

I'm so grateful for Chira's help and I definitely recommend their mentorship program if you also have struggles with your art.

Here's homework from Month 1 week 1, then Month 6 week 2

Also for anyone's curiosity, some draw over's from Chira from that homework review:

[hypnotisedfireflies]

(DISCLAIMER: So this is more a thought to explore...rather than a prompt per say...but you could also treat it as a prompt if it inspires you!)

Our favourite bunnies go at it pretty fearlessly because Tess can't have any more children. How does that landscape change if she could?

I've read some fairly unreal Pregnant!Tess fics, that's not what I'm suggesting here. But I think it would be interesting to get the Arien treatment 😎 on maybe a conversation or a scare?

(idk, tbh, I really struggled with myself about this one, whether or not or put it to you, but then I thought, hey wth, why not!)

Hi!  Thank you for sending this thinky piece to me!  I’m going to answer it here rather than a prompt (hope that’s okay) as I’m not sure I could do this justice as a full story, but it is certainly interesting to consider.  I’ve been turning it over in my mind for a few days to get my thoughts in order.

Making Tess infertile in Drifters was deliberate to avoid traversing into some very dark territory because, other than the killjoy of pregnancy scares, I knew I’d be looking at going into multi-miscarriage territory.  I think given the diet, the lifestyle, the tension and the constant dangers, bringing a baby to full term would be extremely difficult.  And while bringing a baby (or a dozen, given these bunnies) into the story could’ve had its moments, I think it would have ultimately drawn focus away from what I wanted to do.  And I also felt, well, they had enough to worry about without tormenting them with that, too.

I’m also kind of untraditional myself, so the progression of in love = married = babies isn’t really my jam, even though I still find the concept kind of intriguing from a fictional perspective.  (I mean, Tess and Joel as parents?? It is appealing.  And I kind of flirt with that a bit with the fever dreams).

So with my rationale of why I did not do this out of the way I can now just give you a brain dump of Tessjoel pregnancy ideas that I might have done something with (and who knows? Still might somehow ...!)  So trigger warning out there, this would be dark:

Tess finding out she’s pregnant between Missouri and Tennessee and hiding it for as long as she can, hoping it will just go away on its own or more likely

Joel figuring it out before she does because he is Attentive Father and Husband 101 and being like, “… is there any chance that maybe you might be … pregnant there, Tess?”

Violent morning sickness resulting in the trio holing up somewhere we didn’t see in the story – Tess quickly unable to travel, basically.

Everyone being extremely miserable and scared about it the whole time.

Tess ultimately miscarrying and then a whole lot of trauma and guilt because she wanted that to happen.

Joel not there when it occurs and Tess only telling him like, days later that it’s gone.

Joel wanting the baby the whole time, because his key jam in life is to be a father, and although he was sensibly scared about what this would all mean he actually felt good about it.

Tess then breaking things off with him entirely, not so much because she was afraid of falling pregnant again but because of the guilt being amplified when she realises that he really wanted it.

Meeting up with another group a few weeks later when they get moving again and Tess deciding that she’s going to leave with them.

I don’t know, maybe not seeing one another for awhile?  Months?  Maybe a year or so?

Finding one another again, maybe somewhere like Sioux Falls/if not actually Sioux Falls.

Naturally they’re at it like rabbits again, nothing has changed about the way they feel for one another.

Things are good for awhile, they’re careful.

She’d fall pregnant again and this time they’re like, okay, maybe this is something good, maybe we should do this.

Tess extremely stressed, maybe not so ill this time around but not really coping so well.

Joel being the one to have a handle on it, he’d just think she was so fucking beautiful pregnant it’d be sickening lol. He’d be rationing himself to give her the best food etc.

Another miscarriage, this time Joel is there and with her the duration.

This time it pulls them closer together rather than pushes them apart.

… I did say it’d be pretty dark, lol.  So yeah, I think that’s probably the kind of journey the Arien Treatment would’ve given that storyline.  It would have changed everything.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

15 Questions for 15 People

@locke-n-k3y thanks for the tag :] ah hm tbh I feel like my answers for these might be a bit boring but let's see...

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yes! (Referring to my legal name- which I still use), I was named after a character from the soap opera "General Hospital" haha.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last week lol- which was... The first time in a couple months? It was nice but not enough.

3. Do you have kids?

Absolutely not. Never lol.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

Never did any sports outside of gym class! Not formally, anyways. I do workout (mostly strength/weight training) fairly regularly... But I don't think that really counts here lol. :0 Been thinking a lot lately about picking up boxing.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yup! irl I often go for a sort of deadpan delivery of my sarcasm- what I've learned from other people is that I'm a little too good at that (I sometimes say very ridiculous things very convincingly). I won't usually specify unprompted that I'm being sarcastic, but you're always welcome to ask. Not as sarcastic online in general, however.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Irl? Hmm. Hard to say. Maybe: eyes, voice, posture.

Online? Typing/texting style I suppose!

7. What's you're eye color?

Dark brown 👁

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Not mutually exclusive lol. But, happy endings. I don't "dislike" tragedies but I'm not actively drawn to them either.

9. Any talents?

HM. I mean obviously I have things I'm good at but I'm never quite sure what differentiates a "talent" from a "skill". I suppose a lot of friends have said something to the effect of me being "good at reading minds" haha- also "good at explaining things" which is debatable but sweet lol.

10. Where were you born?

Halifax! Which I feel fine saying cause I haven't lived there for a long time lol. A foggy fishing city that I miss even now.

11. What are your hobbies?

I guess a large chunk of what I do on this blog counts as hobbies? Writing (whether it's fiction or analysis or shitposts), drawing, audio clipping and editing apparently (though much of that I just keep to myself- same for drawing tbh). :] I've also gotten into making iron-on patches. Tabletop and video games for sure but... Neither as much as I'd like these days. I tend to collect a lot of things as well- most notably coins.

12. Do you have any pets?

I've had MANY pets of many different species- but currently just my cat Bok! I do tend to take care of my older sister's bunny a lot too though.

13. How tall are you?

5'4, which all my 6'0 friends love teasing me over 😒. I've been told that I "seem taller from the way [I] carry myself", however. (Despite everything, I'm actually fine with my height!)

14. Favorite subject in school?

When I was completing my bachelor's (in computer science) I was particularly drawn to graphics-related stuff! In highschool my fave was definitely drama haha (gee I miss it tbh).

15. What is your dream job?

I HAVE NO IDEA no idea and that's kind of my issue rn tbh. Plenty of things that seem interesting, but I don't think I'm the kind of person who could have the same job for my whole life, no matter how perfect it is. I'll presumably end up in something programming-related eventually, though it's not what I'm looking for now. OH OKAY ACTUALLY dream job? Probably doing video essays (or possibly let's plays) on Youtube haha.

15 PEOPLE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE TO TAG AND I ALWAYS FEEL SO SHY TAGGING PEOPLE IN GAMES and I have no idea who's been tagged already ahaha UM NO PRESSURE WHATSOEVER!!! @llumimoon @happi-tree @kaseyskat @abeinginsand @nolassolace @goldturnedgray @swiffin @insomaniiiac @meiwks @calamity-unlocked @coolfire333 @supremely-unsupervised @b1gwings @giraffeskull There! 15! Tried to get a few new people in there lol. But fr no stress!

[shmowder]

🤯🖤🤯🖤 Ok, that settles it - I think I really will try to replay P2. Now it's all on my mind. Hello Darkness by Theodor Bastard my old friend 🫶 I feel kind of bad that I can't give much in the way of an intellectual reply, but please never worry about retelling anything I may already know (or getting too niche)! It's been two years since I played, and I'm realizing that I haven't retained many of the details, but rest assured I do enjoy reading your thoughts, and the passion you have for the game is contagious (I didn't realize I was making a plague related pun until it had already been typed...)!!

I totally get the "antagonist is your own ego" thing with Stardew. It can be frustrating trying to pace yourself when there's just so much to do, and knowing that it's impossible to do it all in one day. As far as villagers go - why am I suddenly picturing Bad Grief as, like, Redd from Animal Crossing, selling fake paintings? It must be the hair 😂 Yulia can help me plan out my farm because even when I was thriving in year 3, visually it was a bit of a mess, and I'm sure not laid out optimally.

Oooh how cool is that picture of the Executors bowing down before Aglaya... (as an aside, I took the quiz you linked to and Executor was my result lmao). And <333 I can't believe we have the same favorite characters. I'd be happy to read anything you write about them.

Something clicked when you used the word "gentle" when describing how Yulia is with Artemy. You're so right. I think part of the reason I'm drawn to her and Victor is they both seem to have a gentleness to them, or if not that then a stillness, quietness, introspection. And sadness. Even Aglaya for all her strict imposing presence has a sadness to her.

I did a little more poking around the P1 part of the Wiki - Sticky's animal being a kitten is the cutest thing in the WORLD 🥹

And thank you! Now I'm intrigued by this, shall we say, unorthodox emoji choice - but I understand if you don't want to say it 😆

I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well :( I hope things get better for you, and that you can find some relief through this blog ^^ I've been alright; I saw that you have a birthday coming up and mine was about a week ago! Gemini twins~

🐿️ anon

IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY LAST WEEK!! WE ARE TWINS HORRAY <33333 HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY I MADE THIS FOR YOU

Don't mind the cupcake. They both assumed the other person's gonna bring the cake and had to improvise really quickly

Mine is still a few days away, hehe 6/9 hehehe. It's gonna be fun. It's why I originally started the "what the pathologic characters bring for your birthday" drabble series but my god it was the hardest writing exercise ever??? I was a shriveled up husk of a human afterwards and had to throw in the towel. I don't think I'll ever do the termites or humbles rip.

You did mention people that you liked my Hysteria fics and that made me very happy <3 It encouraged me to continue and write the last and third part, even compiled the drabbles and posted them on AO3 so they don't end up swallowed up and lost by tumblr's gutters.

I don't think of my replies or characters analysis as intellectual tbh, I'm just throwing up words and saying what's on mind. So I never expect anything high-brow or even well formmated in return. You're doing wonderful and your replies have been a real delight to recieve and read, I promise.

And yes, the gentleness! The three of them are aimlessly drifting in an ocean of melancholy. You get it! They seem cold and detached, but deep down, they're incredibly sensitive. They're calculated yet so full of emotions. They understand people, and they dig past the surface in other's until they fully comprehend their structure, evualting their core and understanding what gives them meaning. They're thoughtful in their own way that most people miss.

Take Victor, for example. He tends to be polite even while giving orders, using please and thank you even in the most miniscule of requests. The way he doesn't take fault to any of Artemy's mean comments or insults about him and the Kains, he doesn't take your hostility to heart and keeps talking and cooperating with you.

He's patient with Artemy, much like Yulia is gentle with you. He explains the structures and their purpose, he explains to you how time flows and works, he shares his plans for the future at the end of the game, condensing the complex visions into simple terms for you to understand, without being condcending and without being asked to.

Like when your teacher explains to a child why can birds fly, how planes work and why flight is such an achievement for humanity. He has the patience of a loving parent that wants to share his admiration for the innovations in the world with you. But he keeps himself grounded through all of it, doesn't let excitement nor passion steer him away from giving you his full attention when you interrupt with a question.

Even after that, he still extends an invitation for you to join him, to join them, the future awaiting just across the river, a world born anew. Saying, "Of course, you'll always be welcome there"—you—the one who destroyed the hopes and dreams of everything his family has ever amounted for. He still welcomes you with open arms, inviting the ripper along to the heavens.

-

Meanwhile, the player can almost make Aglaya tear in the literal first ingame meeting. Nothing major, just the hint of a few tears when you pick the sincere from the heart dialogue options the Haruspex is known for. It moves her, genuinely moves her.

And by that point, she still is apathetic towards Artemy and is burtal and efficient with her words. This isn't the soft loving Aglaya you get at the end of the game, this is the steel inquisitor Lilich you're being questioned by.

Yet she is almost moved to tears.

You know those types of people that bury themselves under 13 layers of irony to be able to even function? The people who can't self-actualize or speak sincerely in fear of being perceived as cringe? the people who refuse to take anything to heart no matter how raw or moving? Because it's safer to not let the world affect you, it's safer to shut out both the good and the bad. It's familiar.

Aglaya is on the far extreme opposite end of that. She looks for the meaning of life in everything, be it under a rock or over a bridge. She dissects everyone's words, she tests how much their weight would truly hold up against feathers in the brutal scales of her mind.

She isn't afraid to feel emotions. She isn't afraid to face herself and her vulnerability as a human being. To be raw and open, completely unphased by the spears piercing into her soft bare flesh because she knows pain is part of being human. That pain is the price of growing up. Part of the process of being a full-fledged being with a soul.

She is not controlled by her ego nor pride. She knows that she knows nothing which is the greatest strength she holds over all of the factions in pathologic, which is the sole reason she is able to outsmart and manipulation the bachelor himself in his own game of chess.

She understands pain, she understands happiness and she understands what it's like to not have a purpose. To struggle to survive when your life is at the mercy of the whims of children.

Aglaya is probably the most emotional character in all of Pathologic for how many feelings she contains and doesn't shy away from. The rollercoaster these 5 days have been to her since she arrived in town. Dealing with anger and revenge with Daniil, discovering trust, love, and a new meaning for life with Artemy, learning about powers beyond anyone's control with Clara.

It is ironic how she appears as the most cold and apathetic to onlookers based on their personal opinions of her.

Yet not even a single crack forms in her sanity. She accepts the theory of the town being alive almost immediately.

She thinks. Truly uses both her brain & heart, and doesn't make her decisions based on personal biases and gut feelings.

Cogito ergo eum

Therefore, she is.

-

On a last note, Sticky's animal being a kitten genuinely made my week so much better. I kept thinking about that fact whenever I was in a bad mood and how fitting it is since he clings after Artemy left and right, following him and fearing abandonment just because his dad took too long in the shower once ouch my heart. It's so fitting!!!

A cub and a kitten!!! what more could you ask for??

That detail definitely slipped me by, thank you so much for bringing it up to me. My life just got ten times better with that imagery in my head.

I hope you have a wonderful day! I had fun writing this <3 thanks for existing.

[writer-and-thrasher]

Fic in Review 2023

Thanks to @trentcrimminallybeautiful for the tag! I'm (fucking hopefully) starting to get over being so deeply ill after two whole weeks, so I decided it was the time to do this! Yay!

tagging: Literally anyone who wants to, plus I'll tag @providing-leverage, @jamietarttdoodoodoodoo, and @trentcrimmisgay (sorry if you've already been tagged or if it's too late, my brain is rebooting)

Total Number of Completed Stories:

I completed 8 fics this year (1 for Dimension 20 and 7 for Ted Lasso)!!! It's way more than I planned to write in a year, especially given that four of them are over 10k words and I genuinely didn't think I was gonna write any fanfic this year. All in all, I'm really really proud of how much I've written!

Total Word Count: AO3's word count put me at 63,919, which... woah. The one D20 fic I wrote this year wasn't even 2k words, which means that I wrote over 60k words of Ted Lasso fanfic in 6 months. I didn't start writing for TL until June, which honestly makes me even prouder and more excited for tackling stuff next year!

Fandoms Written In: Ted Lasso, almost exclusively. I've also written for Dimension 20, and I figure I will more when Fantasy High: Junior Year releases, but for now I'm on a pretty big TL kick.

Looking back did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expect: I expected to write way less than this! I'd hoped I'd write some, but nothing was really grabbing ahold of me until Ted Lasso crashed into my brain.

What’s your own favorite story of the year, personally?:

Ooh, that's really tough. I'll split it into two because I can't choose:

In my Dichotomy series (I'm just really proud of it tbh), my favorite of the fics was The Dichotomy of a Captain, aka Roy's perspective. It felt the truest to any of them, though I continue to try to stay true to all of them. It's also the first of the fics in this series that made me realize I really could finish the series.

My favorite one-shot of the year is probably Out of Practice, if only because sometimes I get WIP ideas and rarely follow through, but I worked hard to finish this one. And also, I really like watching through Isaac's eyes as he learns stuff about his best friend.

Did you take any writing risks this year?: Honestly, I think the fact that I came back and started writing again was my biggest risk of the year. I wasn't really sure of my voice or style, and it was intimidating to come back and keep writing, but the community made a world of difference.

Do you have any fanfic goals for the New Year?: I've got different WIPs I want to write, like finishing the Dichotomy series and a few series I have in the bank. I think more tangible goals are to get more comfortable with writing new scenes and being more comfortable with past tense. I've always been drawn to canon-explicit stuff, and for some reason, present tense has me in a headlock lmao

Best story of the year: I don't know that I can say anything is "objectively" the best, since fanfic is subjective as hell anyway, but I feel like The Dichotomy of a Captain is the one I feel is the best written. But that one is also my favorite, so I may just be biased.

Most popular story of the year: I'm stealing @trentcrimminallybeautiful's way of doing this because I think it's good, so shoutout

By kudos: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 268

By subscriptions: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 52 (This was originally going to be one work I wrote the series on, but someone suggested I turn it into multiple works in one series, and this one was first, so it has the highest)

By comment threads: "The Dichotomy of a Captain" with 14

By bookmarks: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 65

By hits: "The Dichotomy of a Couch" with 2604

Overall, definitely "The Dichotomy of a Couch", though I did admittedly post it first. But also, wow, these numbers are super humbling, and I'm honored that anyone has read and reacted to what I've written. It means the world for this fic (and my others) to be so kindly received.

Most personal story of the year: Most definitely Who Tells Your Story. No contest.

Funniest story of the year: Ooh, I genuinely made myself laugh while writing The Dichotomy of a Prick, so I'd have to say that one. It's the least serious, and writing Jamie's thoughts brought a smile to my face.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Mmm, I guess Who Tells Your Story.

Most fun story to write: I gotta go with The Dichotomy of a Prick again, it was a breath of fresh air between two very serious parts of this series and amidst other more serious one-shots.

Story with the sexiest moment: I genuinely don't write sexy fics, so the answer is going to be very silly. The best I've got is an illusion to a sexy moment in the past during The Dichotomy of a Prick, but Definitely nothing actually sexy lol

Sweetest story of the year: I gotta go with Who Tells Your Story again, considering that I wrote it for the sweet moment.

“Holy crap that’s wrong even for you!” story: I'm also gonna take this to mean angsty instead of scandalous and say The Dichotomy of a Captain

Hardest story to write: The Dichotomy of a Prick was hard to write on a more technical level as far as Jamie's POV went; I was really conscious about not fucking up his character or writing him too OOC. But considering how personal it was for me, Who Tells Your Story gave me some gut punches as I wrote it that made it hard emotionally.

Biggest disappointment: I think that some fics I liked didn't do as well as others that I didn't like as much, but I also know that my writing got better over time, so I'm really not dwelling on it.

Biggest surprise: Writing again in general, definitely, but also how much love I've gotten for things I've been really excited about. I fully didn't expect so much kindness (far more a me thing than anyone in this community, y'all are wonderful) and it's definitely inspired me to keep going. Y'all are amazing and I'm so grateful for all of you.

[turoce]

Seana's 2023 art highlights

(surprisingly, not a reupload this time!)

January: i drew nothing! we're off to a great start.

February: i drew something! i love Champ even if i haven't drawn anything tf2 related since April. i think it was this piece where i decided to give Champ RED coloring. [link]

also, this is the month i made my second Moldy plush.... i wasn't very happy with this one, though. [link]

March: uhhhh. more of my tf2 ocs but i think those aren't that interesting. just go to my tf2 oc blog @brokenbrainstormbulb if you wanna see them honestly, i have an image limit to keep ffs. that said, this was around the time i got into TC2, so i drew a lot of that kind of stuff... i'm never drawing stuff for it ever again, sorry. [link]

April: look at the cool thing i drew for a fellow tf2 robot fan! now, this is the point in time where i start drawing more because of a certain interest, so look forward to all the art that'll come up here.....

May: wow, this really was my first public piece of Papa Louie art, huh. i was so proud of it when i showed it off on tumblr the first time... i don't like it as much anymore. for one, the office wall color is wrong.... i still can't believe Papa Louie was what got me out of art block, but god, i'm glad it did. i don't think i've drawn this much before, and even though the community's tiny, i'm glad to give back as much as i can. anyways, i said something like "it's so funny that people think they're either super married or divorced as hell" on the same post. i still think that, and it's defos funny as hell, but i've grown a kind of appreciation towards the ship as well. like yeah, you go girls, we love that extra slow burn with so many road bumps on the way! [link]

June: how the hell did i pump this out. this was also like a few days before i had to leave for the airport too... i don't know myself sometimes. i swear i still love Boigashipping! i just... i'm just busy with other ships okkkk [link]

July: i didn't draw anything...? i was in Bali. and i was busy selling adopt designs to draw anything substantial, oopsie! actually, i DID draw the first part of WDB... it's uh, still the only part. i'm sorry!!!! i'm sorry!!!! i swear i have the whole thing outlined!!! can you just give me anons about the story instead so you won't have to wonder what comes next!! [link]

August: TOSI fixation. it had not gone past it's conceptual stage, i must note. i do wish i would do something about it though. [link]

September: the art trade i did with my friend! actually, i was a few weeks late with my part, so it was supposed to be finished by August. oops. i like the textures tbh. my Chuseok drawings.... i need to draw more characters in hanbok, hee hee. [link]

October: (breaths in) ...this is the month i finally gave into the JoGotcha wantings. LOOK. ever since someone put the idea into my brain i couldn't get enough of it, and like,, nobody draws the ship anymore so i had to take matters into my own hands. this is the first ship i'm this obsessed with. i usually leave ship stuff to other people but this time that wasn't enough and i... i had to do SOMETHING, y'know? [link]

Cringetober? who's that? haha;; i stopped feeling like doing the whole list after less than a week. impressive.

November: oh look, Plushy Power League. Quinn didn't win, but i do like the thing i drew as propaganda, so whateves. the first Papa Louie character i ever drew (minus Chuck and Taylor)... did i change how i draw her? uhh. maybe? i'm not too sure. [link]

also look! the keychain drawing... i need to talk about my Gods and Monsters au again at some point. actually, since i last uploaded the image of my keychain, i revised it tons... it's kinda different now, and i defos think it looks better. this is actually the time i finally fixed the stupid display setting thing that was really messing up my coloring! [link 1] [link 2]

December: ...oops! tablet broke. and i got my 3ds back so i just didn't draw that much even after exams were over. didn't stop me from drawing though, and in fact i think i made something pretty neat with my christmas art.... even if it did come one day late. [link]

wow. that's a whole year of stuff... and that's defos a lot! i think i'm really happy with what i drew this year.... i don't know what was in my water the last few years but my art highlights felt really.... miserable? for some reason. i mean, yeah, i didn't do a lot of what i had planned (GOE ANIMATIC IM SORRY) but i can see that i've done just as much with my hands anyways, so like, who cares? plus, i always have next year... that's coming in 3 hours, oh god- so, maybe i won't be too hard on myself for not fulfilling my goals... like, i kinda glossed over it, but i did sell my designs for money, and that's like, really impressive! so many people around me buy and sell their art stuff already, so i guess i didn't really register it as something to be proud of... but doing that shit (making, and marketing) is hard!! so like, it's a wow moment for me!

anyways, i'm tired, i only came back home a few hours ago, and i need to get up again for church in a few hours.... mrphgdjd. lets stop being sentimental, and i'll see you people next year. that's a long way off! hope you don't miss me.

[barkspawn]

lol then can we get "i love you, no matter what that means to you, i'm going to take care of you, even if you dont want me to" prompt from the romantic quotes prompt list with elliott? <3 i love your writing

Thank you, I'll never get used to the fact that people like my stuff. it's wild.

and tbh, I'm realizing the things I enjoy writing the most, which is suuuuuuuuuuuper helpful. so thank YOU and the others who send in prompts.

Amelia had been struggling for the past few weeks. Her depression took a turn for the worse when she heard of her father falling ill and after receiving a spiteful email from an old "friend" explaining how selfish and idiotic she was for leaving the city. It was hurtful enough to wear her down. 

Amelia was keeping up with the crops okay and was trying extra hard to make the animals happy. She knew he was picking on her, but when Shane visited with a new chick and made a comment about how the crops seemed small and dinky, she felt herself hit a low. She knew he'd feel horrible if he knew, so she decided not to tell him. 

Elliott was an entirely different situation. They'd been together for a year and a half and she couldn't stomach letting him see her like this. He knew something was wrong right away and decided to give her space for a few days, deciding today to be a little more persistent. 

Amelia looked down at her phone as it rang. She sat on the couch with her knees drawn to her chest, just staring at the rustic painting on the wall in thought. The third time the phone started to ring she sighed, answering the call. 

"Hello?" She winced, not even recognizing her own voice. 

"Hey, love," Elliott started, trying to keep his tone as normal as possible, even if he was sick with worry, "I've missed you. I was thinking I'll bring some food to you this evening. We'll curl up and watch a movie."

The idea seemed nice to her, but she genuinely believed it wasn't what she deserved. Before thinking, she spoke, "Actually, I wanted to talk to you, El. Can you come by soon?"

He paused for a long moment before answering, "of course. I'll leave now. I love you."

"I love you too," she responded too quickly, hanging up and letting tears fall as a sob escaped her. This is how it had to be. 

Elliot was a brilliant man with a bright and happy future ahead of him. She could not let herself be the one responsible for holding him back. It wouldn't be fair. She loved him with her whole being, which is why she had to stop this. He deserved so much more. 

After a moment, she stood to clean herself up, pacing until she heard his footsteps on the porch. He gave a light knock before opening the door, his smile brightening up the entire room. He looked as handsome as ever, a small container that could only be from the saloon in his hands. His smile and his general presence lifted her spirits a bit. For a moment, she wondered if this was a mistake. Quickly, she resolved that it needed to be done. It was for him, not her. 

Closing the door behind him, he set the food on the counter and moved to wrap his arms around her in a tight, loving hug that broke her heart. When she didn't hug him back, he pulled back, his hands on her shoulders. 

"Amelia? What's on your mind?" He searched her face, not oblivious to her tear-stained eyes and cheeks. She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

"Elliott, I don't think we should see each other anymore."

His hands fell from her shoulders as he looked over her face once more. Something was wrong and she wasn't okay. He knew that. Still, his heart ached. 

"I see," he responded after a long moment, "may I ask if it is something I've done or-"

"No, no, El," she interjected, tears unable to be stopped, "You've been perfect in every way.. I just can't keep doing this. I can't keep pretending I'm right for you when I'm so clearly not."

He flinched at that, cursing his own eyes for going misty, "if that is what you want, Amelia, I will not fight you. I am never far.. should you need me for anything."

He made his way to the door before stepping through, the sob that came from behind the door ripping his heart to pieces more than her leaving him ever could. 

His chest tight and his eyes red, he turned back to town. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Elliott sat at the small fire outside of his shack, checking his phone for the millionth time before sighing and shoving it in his pocket. He poured the rest of the wine into his glass, noticing a dark figure at the end of the pier as he went to take a drink. When he focused, he saw it was Sebastian, sitting quietly on the edge. 

Elliott stood, glass in hand, and headed down the end of the pier to stand behind the younger man. 

"Sebastian, right?"

Sebastian looked up at him, sarcastic remark locked and loaded, but bit it back as he saw the man's face. Elliott was a little bit of a mess himself. Sebastian just nodded and stared back toward the ocean. 

"You.. you're Amelia's friend, aren't you?"

"I mean, yeah," Sebastian started, his expression twisted in confusion, "why, aren't you her boyfriend?"

Elliott looked down at his glass, tracing the rim, "as of this morning, no. I'm not."

Sebastian deflated, frowning as he moved aside for Elliott to sit. He really didn't care enough about Elliott in the equation, but about how Amelia was. They'd been best friends for a year and she was head over heels for this guy. 

"Sorry to hear, man," he stared ahead, his frown deeper still than usual. 

"Me too," Elliott started as he sat beside him, "I just.. I wanted to ask you," his voice was quiet, almost feeling guilty for asking, "have you spoken with her in the last few days?"

Sebastian turned to give the man a confused look before his expression softened, "yeah, I guess. She canceled plans we had and she said she wasn't feeling good. Why?"

Elliott pinched the bridge of his nose, "when I saw her today, it was like she was a different person," he started, voice still shaking, "she was cold and distant. But she looked like she hadn't been eating or something of the like," he paused again, turning to look at the other man, "I'm worried about her."

Sebastian's brow knit together as he stared, deep in thought, "and, if you're cool with telling me, what did she say?"

"She said she couldn't do it anymore. She told me it wasn't me and that I was great.. she said she wasn't right for me."

Sebastian sat and thought for a long moment, frowning before he sighed, "I know her dad is sick," Elliott nodded, his frown growing deeper, "and she got this letter from an old friend. She wouldn't tell me more.." Elliott sighed as Sebastian turned to look at him, "did she seem depressed? Like what you see in those shitty commercials, but real and not forced?"

Elliott thought for a long moment. He thought about every word she said, how she seemed so tired and thin, and how she looked and sounded. 

"Yeah, it was a lot like that."

"There's your answer, dude," he pulled out his cigarettes, "I'll check on her later, but she adores you. She was talking about it last week ."

Somehow, Elliott felt worse hearing that. He gave a small nod, taking a long drink of his wine, frowning as the dregs swirled around the bottom of his glass.

"Is it an awful idea to reach out to her the day she left me?"

Sebastian nodded, taking a long drag of his cigarette, "I'll swing by tonight. I have your number and I'll text you how she is. Swing by in the morning and just… do your poetic… artistic… romantic shit."

Elliott gave a small chuckle before shifting to stand up, "thank you, Sebastian. I'm very glad to have gotten your insight."

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Elliott woke up earlier than he usually would have, gathering some different things to take with him to the farm. He created a care package of sorts, picking up her favorite hot tea, some ingredients for different meals he knew she loved, a pair of his most comfortable pajamas (as he couldn't go and buy her a new set before going over), and a journal. He had opened up to a few pages, writing little affirmations on some pages. 

He felt horrible for not recognizing how much she was suffering. He'd been there before, but not in a long time. Once he gathered everything, he sighed, heading toward the farm. 

As he made his way there, his confidence waned a bit as he grew closer. He hoped she wouldn't be mad at him for coming, but Sebastian's text made it pretty clear that Elliott coming over would help her, so it was the plan. He walked up the steps, taking his time before knocking lightly on the door. 

His heart dropped as he saw her open the door. She was exhausted and pale like she hadn't slept for days. 

"Elliott?" She started, her voice cracking. 

"May I come in?" He gestured to the bag he held with all of the stuff he had. She paused for a long moment before sighing and opening the door, allowing him to pass. 

"I'm not sure why you'd come," she frowned, her arms wrapping around herself, "I'm not your responsibility. You don't have to care anymore."

He gave her a gentle look as he placed the bag down before walking over to her, his voice quiet but firm, "Amelia, I can see you're struggling. Whether or not being with me is a part of you getting better, I love you, no matter what that means to you," he started, shifting to gesture to the bag, "I'm going to take care of you, even if you don't want me to. Because you should never be alone when you feel this way, no one should."

Her gaze fell to the floor as she failed to stop her tears from falling. After a long moment, she gave a small nod. 

"I'll never force it, but tell me if you should like a hug. Sometimes such a small– oof," he was cut off as she wrapped her arms around his waist almost too tightly. He wrapped his arms around her, hugging her back with as much emotion as he could show. He felt her shaking, like a string had snapped that was holding her up, leaving her a crying mess in his arms. His heart broke for her, but he was so glad he was here. 

They stayed like that for an incredibly long time before he pulled back to grab the pajamas from the bag and brought them to her.

"Go ahead and take a nice, hot shower. I'll make you some food. You can call me if you need me."

After a few hours, she had eaten, explained everything, and broke down once more in his arms. He just sat beside her, intently listening as she cried and spoke. She couldn't seem to look at him when she finished. 

"Amelia, that woman who sent that is no friend. She is simply jealous that you were able to escape and make a new life for yourself," he started, moving to take her hand but stopping himself, "and I'm so sorry about your father. If you'd like me to be, I'll be here every step of the way. If you want me to remain at a distance, Sebastian will definitely be here as well."

She wiped away a new wave of tears, letting herself lean into him once more, "I love you more than anything. I know it's not my place to say it, but I can't just not tell you how loved you truly are."

After a long moment, she stood on her toes and pressed a small, painfully gentle kiss to Elliott's lips. 

"I.. don't want to leave you, El..," she started, "I just can't stand the idea of holding you back or bringing you down.."

The small kiss gave him the push to take her hands in his, "you couldn't do either of those things if you tried. I'm right here if you still want me. And even if you don't, for that matter. I won't leave your side until I know that you're okay and happy. Now, would you like to watch a horrible movie?"

She cracked a small smile for the first time in days before pulling him into one more tight hug. 

"You deserve so much better than me, you know," she sighed, "I've always considered you out of my league, but-"

"None of that," he pulled back, hushing her, "you deserve the world and I intend on giving that to you, whether you believe me or not because I love you."

She stared up at him, her smile growing for the first time in days, "I love you, El," she shook her head, "thank you for not… giving up. It would have been the biggest mistake I'd ever made.."

"So you don't want to stop seeing me?" He couldn't help the hope in his voice, relaxing when she shook her head. He continued, "I'm happier to hear that than I can begin to show," he smiled and pulled back toward the couch, "now shall we watch shoddy animatronics try to fight each other?"

She laughed, the feeling almost unfamiliar, as she moved to curl up beside him on the couch with a blanket. 

This is where she belonged and she was endlessly glad he didn't give up on her. 

With people who care for her this much, how could she not see herself being okay?

She rest her head on his shoulder, laughing at the movie with her hand in his.