#tbh i think if i found out my parents were (knowingly or not) trying to chemically blind me some of my screws would loosen too

[varilien]

chewing gnawing this guy if i'm being so fr rn

Palestine: Funds | Action | eSims | Info Sudan Resources | Congo Resource

[verstappentime]

Director’s commentary for Pietro and Erik’s relationship in superposition! (I love love love everything we got to see of them onscreen; the “remember what I always tell you” “there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism?” exchange in particular was so delightful, probably my favorite little moment of the fic so far)

ohhhh i love this one.

basically the idea came in the beginning to have pietro be part of the pit crew bc of his powers. then i was debating doing that bc i wanted him to be erik's kid, and we (me and percy who helps me with all my fics) were messing around with the idea of him being a little kid running around the garage or something, then it kind of all came together when i think he suggested we make him old enough to be on the crew *and* erik's son. so that's where erik being a teen dad came from! and once we landed on that idea, even though i knew it was going to be hard to slot into the story, i really super loved it. and we figured out a way around some of the logistical issues with erik not knowing he had a kid till he was 20, when he was probably already in f1, and us making erik a little older so it wasn't super outrageous.

they have an incredible relationship, there's actually a lot of lore that's not in the fic (yet, at least?). he found out about P when he was 20 and magda moved to england and got his number. he went over with his mom & she waited outside when he went in -- P was soo shy & didn't want to come out to meet him at first. he was so tiny and had erik's eyes and it was just surreal for him. he eventually got to say a little hello and go see some of pietro's trains and things and get to see his kid being a real four year old human and when he went back out to the car he just sobbed. he'll always be heartbroken that he never held him as a baby, tbh. he doesn't blame magda but he just wishes he could've gotten every minute with him possible. he takes being a dad more seriously than anything else and just loves his kid so much.

i guess it also hasn't come up that he stopped racing for a few years from when he was 20-22 because he wanted to parent full time, which is what led to him not winning his first championship until he was 25.

also, this bit you mentioned is a favorite of mine too, erik as a socialist who is also knowingly being a hypocrite because he's a multi-millionaire is funny to me lol. but yeah, these two are a great duo, erik does a good job!! there will be some bumps in the road bc he's parenting a 16 year old, but y'know. <3 thank you for loving them!

i'll add a deleted scene under the cut where erik opens up abt P a little more! (not very well written i'm sorry)

“I loved him from the moment I met him,” he says, quiet and honest. “He was small for his age, for a long time. And shy, if you can believe it. Magda had to coax him out just to say hello. I would’ve killed for four more years with him, back then.”

“And now?”

Erik shrugs. “It was hard at first. Toddlers don’t adjust well to change. And I think he… I know he wonders about it, sometimes. If I didn’t try hard enough to be there.” He swallows. He tries to keep that guilt tucked away somewhere safe. It hurts, and it’s hurt for the last twelve years. “But I just try to do everything I can to be a good dad, I guess. I don’t know if I’m getting anywhere with that one.”

He’s read so many fucking parenting books he could recite them. Raising mutant children, raising children with ADHD, explaining sexuality to your children, gentle parenting; everything he could get his hands on. But he still loses his temper sometimes.

He thinks of the first time he had to discipline Pietro, when he was little. He’d taken to Erik immediately, once he’d come out of his shell a bit, but Erik was a visitor, a friend who his mother had gently told him was his dad. They could play dragons together, visit the park, have a snack, and then he went back to his mom, who did heavy lifting.

The first time he’d taken Pietro overnight and needed to put his foot down, be just a bit firm (the first of thousands “no ice cream for dinner” arguments), Pietro had been completely distraught. He sobbed for what felt like hours, like Erik had broken his four-year-old heart.

He’d ended up burrowed into Erik’s neck, whimpering softly, while Erik whispered nonsense to him. It was the first time it dawned on him that if he just really fucking loved the kid, that could be enough.

These days, he isn’t sure.

[soulmate-game]

Can you do a prompt of Marinette being the daughter of the Joker and Harley but Harley left him before Marinette was born and when Joker found out about his daughter He decided to kidnap Marinette so she can become like him (Ace chemicals) (Daminette)

Woot, my first ask in a while! Let’s see how I can do this oddly specific ask that reminds me of a fic that might actually exist but tbh I’ve read so many fanfics idk if my brain is remembering right

—*—*—*—*—*

Marinette knew Sabine and Tom weren’t her biological parents. She had known ever since she was eight, when her mother by blood visited her for the first time, sat her down, and explained everything. Including, but not limited to, her disastrously toxic past relationship, her new girlfriend, and her recent success with long term rehab (unofficial rehab that mostly consisted of illegal anti-hero actions, but hey if it worked it worked).

Marinette understood. Well no, she really didn’t since she was only eight, but she understood that her mom— that Harley— was genuine. She had always had a knack for emotions and telling when people were sincere or not. And Harley really was regretful about not being in her life beforehand, and was serious about wanting to be part of her life now that her own was mostly sorted out.

So Marinette was not surprised when Harley really did stick it out. When Harley cooed over Marinette copying her hairstyle to show her support of her biological mom, when Harley never failed to call at least once a week even if she was in jail for punching some asshole or another. Harley never stayed arrested long anymore, she was usually found to be on the right side of the moral scale more and more often so the police didn’t bother keeping her locked up anymore. Through the years, Marinette always looked forward to her mom’s calls. Looked forward to being lulled to sleep by one crazy story or another from her mother’s past. Everything was nice. Perfect, even, for a while.

A thump sounded from her balcony, one late night when Marinette was thirteen. Blinking, the dark haired girl furrowed her brows. Who would be on her balcony? Cautiously walking towards the trap door leading to it, grasping her metal pencil holder as a weapon (she remembered all of her Mom’s stories about break-ins and random attacks back in Gotham), the teen strained her ears. Akuma attacks were only a few months old now, but she had already become in high alert for any sign of Hawkmoth or his victims. As per usual, Marinette’s paranoia began to kick in. Did Hawkmoth already figure her out? Was he here for her earrings? Would she be able to fight him?

She gently pushed up the trap door, catching a glimpse of black leather. Huh? Marinette narrowed her eyes, confused. Was it Chat? He should have been on patrol, on the other side of the city. What was he doing visiting her?

Suddenly the trap door yanked the rest of the way open, making Marinette yelp as the handle for it rugged away from her fingers. And there, backlit by the pure blue-white moonlight, was Not Chat Noir. It was Catwoman, in all her skintight black leather glory, grinning at her before pushing her cat-eye goggles up to the top of her head and crouching down by the trap door’s entrance, balancing only on the pads of her feet.

“Well hello there~” the woman purred. “So you’re the cute little kitten Harley is so secretive about. Nice to finally meet you,” the woman held out a hand, sending Marinette a sweet, if mysterious, smile. For a while, the pigtailed girl only stared before a squeal of excitement left her throat, leaving very little room for any doubt as to her bloodline. A large smile curled over Marinette’s lips, leaving her beaming widely at the catlike woman on her balcony.

“Auntie Selina! Mom’s told me so much about you! Come in, come in, come in! I’ll sneak some macaroons up for you. Or do you prefer croissants? What’s your favorite flavor? Are you really dating Batman? Oh my goodness, that necklace is so lovely! Did you steal it?”

Selina could only chuckle fondly at the word vomit, letting the smaller girl drag her down the trap door and into her very… pink room. Looking around, Selina was once again slapped with just how similar this kid was to her outgoing friend. Marinette clearly had no shame in indulging in the things she liked, such as the color pink and anything regarding fashion. But there were other things amongst the girliness of the room, like the posters of Jagged Stone and the training dummy half-sticking out of her closet door. There were a few ornamental knives hung up behind her computer, seemingly just for decoration although Selina could see that they were definitely battle ready and sharpened. A small mallet, clearly a miniature replica of her mother’s own signature weapon, leaned up against the side of the girl’s laundry basket. But then there was Marinette’s mannequin, which was surrounded by meticulously cut pieces of cloth and had other pieces pinned to it strategically. Marinette clearly had the same professionalism and love for her chosen career that had so completely defined Harley in the Time Before Joker. The same genius intellect hiding in those deceptively cheerful bluebell eyes. And for the first time, though not for the last to be sure, Selina found herself thoroughly relieved that it seemed Marinette had inherited very little from her father.

Except, as she would learn from stories Harley told her later, an apparent affinity for chaos.

“I’m not that picky, kitten. But I’m not that hungry, so don’t go too out of your way,” Selina decided to just react the same way she did with Harley’s rambles, and answer one question at a time. “Also, I am actually dating Bruce Wayne. But, if you promise not to tell anyone—“ she waited for Marinette’s eager nod before continuing casually, “— the two are maybe not as mutually exclusive as many think,” Selina finished with a conspiratorial wink. “No, I actually did not steal this necklace. Bruce has been adamant in trying to curb me of my thieving habit by buying me almost everything I so much as glance at sideways. It’s sweet. Naive, because I like stealing for the fun of it, but sweet.”

Marinette giggled, bouncing in place happily. She loved a bit of innocent gossip like this. “Is Momma Ivy ever gonna visit? I don’t think Mom told her much about me yet, and I still gotta give her the shovel talk!” the fierce look that overcame Marinette’s face made Selina laugh again. Oh yes, definitely her mother’s daughter.

“Pam has been trying to sneak over, but the laws regarding Metahumans in Paris suddenly got much stricter a few months back and have caused some problems. You wouldn’t happen to know what happened, would you?” Selina did not miss when her seemingly innocent question caused her niece to close off almost instantly. Bluebell eyes took on a familiar guardedness, and scanned her with the same soul-searching intensity that Harley had when she was channeling her Psychiatrist side. Selina found herself in a slightly concerning spot though—

Because she couldn’t predict Marinette at all. She was left to simply stand there as Marinette searched for some unidentifiable thing in her eyes, completely unable to read the younger girl’s face and with no idea of what to expect. The side effect of having chaos so thoroughly entwined in both of her biological parents, she supposed.

“Nope, no idea.”

Selina knew that was a lie, but knew equally as well that she would not be getting a better answer anytime soon. So, she let it go and the two of them once again dipped into innocent chatter.

Later that night, when Selina left and the sun threatened to rise at any minute, Tikki flew up from her hiding spot under Marinette’s pillow to land on her holder’s shoulder. Marinette giggled and looked over at her little friend.

“Tikki?”

“Yes, Mari?”

“Why was I chosen to be your holder?” She asked suddenly, flopping back into her bed and staring at her ceiling. The little goddess hummed, smiling knowingly before flying down to cuddle in the crook of Marinette’s neck.

“Because you are born from luck itself. Even when bad things happen, you have the luck and determination to get out just fine, and stronger than before. And despite the destruction and anarchy in your blood, you have the willpower to reign it in and keep control of yourself. That’s all order really is, Marinette. The decision to take all the chaos and madness around us, and make it make sense. Make it do something good. And that’s a large part of who you are, I could feel it in your soul the moment we first met.”

Marinette closed her eyes, biting the inside of her cheek. “What if I lose control?”

“... You’ll just have to get it back. It’ll be hard, but as long as you have people to support you, you will be able to do it. You aren’t evil, Marinette,” the small God seemed to sense the true question her holder was asking, and did her best to soothe the doubt the girl felt. “Just remember the reasons you fight against chaos. Remember everyone you love, and you’ll be okay. And you have me, I’ll always help you.”

“... thank you, Tikki.”

—*—*—*—*—*

“He’s going to find out, Mom.”

“No he won’t, don’t be silly! I’ve been very careful about hiding you from him, Nettie-pie.”

“Mom… I just have a bad feeling. I don’t think we can hide who I am from him. If he sees me, I think he’ll know.”

The phone went silent.

“If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. If I was crazy about him, Sugar, then I’m head over heels for you. Not even he can stop me from caving his skull in if he tries his usual tricks with you.”

“... My plane leaves soon, I’ll talk to you when I land. And mom?”

“Yeah, honeycake?”

“I love you.”

—*—*—*—*—*

It was uncanny just how often Marinette’s hunches were right. Her intuition was something to behold, truly, because it only took three days in Gotham before Joker snatched her right out of her room at Harley and Ivy’s apartment. At least Marinette had sixteen by then, so she had had enough experience as a hero in Paris and with generally unpredictable situations and people who were absolutely nuts for her to not immediately panic. Too much, anyway.

Because there was definitely a little panic there.

See, Marinette knew herself inside out by then. After her own battle with her toxic feelings towards Adrien and doing her best to heal from those before she turned out like her mom, she knew she was by no means mentally indestructible. Mental illness ran the high risk of being inherited, and Marinette was well aware that her own personality was scarily similar to her mother’s at times. She got attached quickly, felt affection and love for others very strongly and, as she found with Adrien, could easily become obsessive if she didn’t watch herself. At least Harley was the perfect person to help with that, and Marinette was serious about helping herself too. She did everything she could to keep an eye on her mental health and keep her behavior in check so she didn’t do anything too unhealthy with her relationships again.

But she knew, she knew she had a soft spot for family. She got attached too easily. And being in the same room as her biological father, despite being tied up by her hands and feet and knowing just how many unforgivable things he had done in his life, Marinette felt vulnerable. She didn’t want to hurt him, despite everything. She still loved him, despite every reason not to, despite her first meeting with him being with him shoving chloroform over her face and hogtying her to a metal chain dangling over a vat of acid.

Geez, she’d need more than just her mom as a therapist after this for sure. Even if her mom had a PH.D, Marinette felt like she’d need several psychiatrists to sort through her emotional turmoil right then and make sense of any of it.

Marinette licked her lips, aware that the only kindness that Joker gave his daughter was sparing her from the discomfort of being gagged.

“Don’t,” Marinette said, surprising herself with the amount of steel she was able to put into her voice. Somehow, she managed to make the single word sound more like an order than a plead. “Joker, put me—“

“Ah-Ah-Ah!” The clown walked over, tutting and waving his finger in the air in almost playful admonishment. He gave her a dramatically fake pout. “Don’t you know it’s disrespectful to refer to your father by his first name?” Neither of them mentioned that Joker was definitely not his real name. They both knew the point was moot. “Say it with me now— ‘Daddy dearest, I am more than willing to be dunked in acid for you,’ go ahead, say it.”

Marinette’s jaw clenched. Familial love or not, she would not tolerate being ridiculed like that. She dealt with enough ridicule when she was fourteen and fifteen during school, before she put Liar Rossi in her place. She had spent the past three years as a hero in charge of the war against Hawkmoth, in charge of protecting all of Paris from an emotional terrorist.

And gee, wasn’t that what Joker was, too? Sure, he was a terrorist in the classic meaning of the word as well, but he was nothing if not a skilled manipulator. He knew the human mind just as well as Harley or any other psychiatrist did, he just used his knowledge for different means. He had emotionally abused Harley for years, he emotionally abused and manipulated people all across gotham on a daily basis. He was just another Hawkmoth, but with more physical violence in place of magic.

With these thoughts strengthening her resolve, Marinette narrowed her eyes at the man who donated half of her DNA. She let her anger boil into her irises, hitting him with one of the few traits she knew she inherited from him.

Her ability to intimidate others on the tip of a hat.

“No,” she growled back at him. She took a deep breath. It had taken her a while, but she refused to be ashamed of who she was regardless of her blood relation. She would have no problem using the very things she inherited from Joker against him. She might have gotten most of Harley’s personality, she might have inherited her mother’s habit of falling in love hard, fast, and obsessively, but she also had Joker’s defiance. His bone-deep inability to be stopped from doing exactly whatever the fuck he wanted.

And then, there were Marinette’s own traits. The ones that were completely her own, developed over her life organically. Like her refusal to bow down to bullies, her creativity, her ability to take even the most chaotic situation and see some sort of balance and sanity in it that she could use to her advantage.

That she WOULD use to her advantage. The shadows she saw move out of the corner of her eye gave her the chance to do exactly that, she just needed to buy a few more seconds. Just a few more seconds.

“Excuse me?” Joker growled right back, his own intimidation, honed over more years than Marinette had been alive and thus much more potent than her own, reading its ugly head as he stalked towards her. His face was pulled down into an ugly snarl, his shoulders tensed and back straight as he glared right at her. From his spot on the metal walkway, he was easily able to reach over the railing and grab her chin in one pale, viciously strong hand. “I think you’re misunderstanding something here, little Marionette. I’m your father. Half of your life came directly from ME. That makes you my puppet. You exist to follow my orders,” his right grip suddenly let go, leaving behind the beginnings of a bruise as his entire demeanor changed from angry to cheerful. He spread his arms as if gesturing to the whole chemical plant victoriously, and an unnaturally large smile curved over his lips and bared yellowing teeth at her. “But that’s okay. I’ll forgive you this time, you haven’t learned any better yet. That’s why we’re here. We need to cleanse you of all those icky bad habits you’ve learned up until now, all you need is a little,” he bounced in place with a wicked smirk to illustrate his next words— “jumpstart. A little acid goes a long way to enlightenment you know, you’ll see my side of things in no time. And with my blood in you, you’ll make a better sidekick than that idiot Harley ever did. I can sense it, you’ve got a real talent for Chaos in you, it’s exciting, Heheeeheheee! Now then, we should probably speed things along before our family reunion is cut short. Hang in there, my little Marionette,” the man actually had the gall to spin in place while humming a tune cheerfully before all but dancing over to the lever that held Marinette’s length of chain in the air over the vat of chemicals below her. “Everything will clear up in that little head of yours in just a second!”

There! Right as Joker pulled the switch to lower her into the bubbling vat underneath her, Marinette was able to finish untying her hands. She couldn’t contain a small yelp as gravity flung her body forward, leaving her upside down on the chain for a brief moment. That was when the chain started lowering rapidly, and Marinette was barely able to rip the rope off of her ankles in time to swing off of it and onto the metal walkway that came up right next to the giant metal container of liquid death and insanity. Joker had barely enough time to shout in rage before the windows near the ceiling shattered, admitting the city’s vigilantes themselves. Batman, Nightwing, Red Robin, Red Hood, Robin, and evening Black Bat all landed on the same metal platform above Marinette’s head that Joker was still on, buying the teen time to start running. But she didn’t go towards the exit right away, instead heading right up the stairs into the thick of the fight. Robin briefly separated from where Joker was managing to hold his own, goons flooding from side doors to inhibit the heroes in their attempt to bring their boss down.

The katana-using vigilante kept one eye on Marinette the whole time, suspicious of why the girl would come back up if not to help her father. But that wasn’t what she did, instead she flipped and kicked and punched her way through the quickly growing sea of Joker thugs until she reached a small pink purse that had been abandoned near the lever that had nearly sent her into liquid insanity. Three thugs surrounded her right as she snatched the purse up and slung it over her shoulder, but Robin barely had the chance to head over before she was heaving the men, who were all easily three times her size, over her shoulder and was slamming elbows into soft spots and the side of her hand into pressure points. By the time Robin got to her side, all three men were unconscious and bound to wake up in utter agony.

Marinette glanced up, getting ready to haul Robin over her shoulder as well before she realized who he was. She let her shoulders relax just a tick, sighing in relief before returning her eyes to scanning their surroundings. She shot him a brief grin.

“Good thing my adoptive mother, Mom, Momma Ivy, and Auntie Selina all made sure I knew how to take down a small army on my own, huh?” She asked rhetorically before they were both unceremoniously dragged back into the giant brawl.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Nettie-pie!”

“Marigold!”

Harley and Pamela Quinzel-Isley shoved down anyone and everyone who dared block their direct path to their daughter. The girl of the hour stood next to the bat clan, a shock blanket held tightly around her shoulders as she did her best to finish her statement to both the vigilantes and Commissioner Gordon.

“You untied yourself… from a ship-grade knot in high quality rope… with a phone charm?” They heard Gordon ask incredulously, to which Marinette could only give a lopsided smile. That was when her mom and stepmom crashed into her, enveloping her in a nearly suffocating hug.

“Gah— mom— momma Ivy—“ Marinette flailed in their arms for a bit before finally getting her head free and continuing her statement as if she didn’t have two of the most dangerous women in the city still giving her a bone crushing hug. “That’s better. Yes, Commissioner. You see, I realized when I was in the car with Joker, while I was pretending to still be unconscious, that one of the charms on my phone had pretty sharp corners that I could use like a serrated edge if I had enough time. So I carefully detached it from my phone, and held it in my palm. It took almost an hour, but once Joker noticed I was awake I kept him talking so that he didn’t notice what I was doing even as he tied me up to that chain. Really, it’s just lucky that I was able to get it worn down in time,” Marinette rubbed the back of her neck with a nervous chuckle. “But regardless, I think Batman and his partners,” she nodded to the listening vigilantes just to the side of her. “Were close enough that I would have been caught anyway, I just wanted to make sure they had less work to do. The sooner I freed myself, the sooner ‘Daddy Dearest,’” she grimaced as she mockingly used the same term Joker had tried to get her to say earlier that night. “Could go back behind bars where he belongs.”

“Oh my little Nettie-cake,” Harley cried, finally pulling back from the hug long enough to wipe her cheeks. It was clear that she had been crying for a while, and her colorful pigtails were mussed and tangled from where she must have been tugging on them in worry. “You were right. I’m so sorry, I never should have let you come to Gotham when I knew he was out of Arkham.”

Marinette was quick to shake her head frantically, pulling her arms out of Ivy’s hold so she could grasp Harley’s shoulders firmly. “No. No, Mom, I’m fine! And besides, we knew I couldn’t stay secret forever. I really like staying with you and Momma Ivy! Everything turned out fine though, and he’s headed back to Arkham. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Nettle,” Pam argued, distracting herself by running her hands through Marinette’s bangs. She had only known the girl for two years, but that was more than long enough for her to consider the teenager as her own. “He took you right out from under our noses. You were supposed to be safe in our home, and he still got to you. That’s not okay. We weren’t able to protect you like we should have been. Maybe you should go back to Paris early.”

“What?! No way!” Marinette argued, eyes wide. “This is the first time I’ve been able to ever visit you guys in Gotham, I’m not letting some psycho sperm donor keep me from enjoying time with my family! I came here knowing full well that it was dangerous. I’m not gonna just run away after one bad experience.”

Harley snorted, and then devolved into uncontrollable giggles. “Heh— psycho sperm donor. Good one, sugar!”

Marinette smiled and rolled her eyes good naturedly at her mom’s usual immature antics. Seeing as Gordon had walked away muttering to himself a short while ago, Marinette pulled herself the rest of the way away from her moms and turned to the vigilantes. Without a second’s pause, she bowed to them just like her Maman Sabine taught her.

“Thank you for helping save me. I know it’s probably a shock that I’ve been kept secret from you guys all this time, but I hope you don’t lump me in with the likes of the green-haired half of my DNA. I’m staying with my Moms in their apartment, if you guys decide to patrol by our place like I suspect, I’ll leave some baked goods and coffee out for you on our patio. It’s the least I can do for you all after tonight. And don’t be too hard on Auntie Selina. Me and Mom swore her to secrecy, even from you guys.”

Batman jerked a little at the mention of Catwoman’s real name, jaw twitching for a second. Behind his cowl, his eyes narrowed. Marinette laughed, easily reading his body language and expression.

“She never told me who you are, but she didn’t exactly hide it either. It was easy to put the last pieces together on my own. But don’t worry, SHE swore me to secrecy too. I won’t tell anyone.

“How the hell are you related to the Laughing Asswipe from Hell?” Red Hood blurted out, his confusion clear even from behind his hideous helmet. Marinette burst into giggles, and both Pamela and Harley smiled knowingly.

“Mom gave me up for adoption when I was born, so I spent my whole life in Paris up until now,” she admitted. “Mom didn’t visit me for the first time until I was eight, and she and my adoptive parents are so awesome that it must’ve suffocated the worst traits from his DNA before they had a chance to develop,” she guessed out loud with a good natured smile.

Batman grunted. Marinette knew that one run-in wasn’t enough for them to trust her. After all, she was still the biological daughter of their arch enemy. But she didn’t mind, she understood the caution even if she didn’t fully agree with it. They weren’t outright hostile, despite the fact that Robin had never stopped glaring at her since they fought back-to-back against the mob of thugs earlier. She could live with their suspicion, as long as they continued to not be outright rude or mean to her.

At least she could empathize with Adrien now, whenever she figured out how to break it to him that Hawkmoth was definitely Gabriel and couldn’t be anyone else. Hopefully she could help soften the blow for him a little.

Harley and Ivy were starting to herd Marinette towards their car and take her back home, where they could continue to smother her in care and make sure she didn’t have even a scratch on her, when Robin’s voice stopped them all in their tracks.

“You are a surprisingly capable combatant.”

Marinette froze, blinking in surprise for a second before turning to stare at Robin in shock. The rest of the Bat Clam was doing the same, nobody expecting Robin of all people to be the first to directly complement Marinette. He tutted, crossing his arms, but never moved his gaze away from Marinette’s eyes.

“But your form could use some work. Most of your style is incredibly improvised, which I can appreciate since you do it well, but you would benefit from more structure in your fighting. I will set up a time and place for us to spar. We start in two days, if you think you can handle it.”

It took a while for what Robin said to sink in, and another few seconds for Marinette to decipher what his semi-aggressive, order-phrased proposal really meant. And she smiled.

“It’s a date.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Woo! This started off a little rough, but I really like how it ended up! Thank you, Anon!

[thetaoofbetty]

Do you think the time jump was necessary?

honestly? yes.

however, i am an admitted time jump lover. so, you know. there's that. i've also watched a lot of shows totally end up trying (and then forgetting about) college so i think having them be closer to their real ages on the show was a smart decision. that doesn't mean i think the way they've done the time jump is the best. there's been a lot of exposition for a plot that was solved once they let bughead work on it for more than 30 seconds when they could have shown more emotional beats of the characters mixed in with some levity to lighten some of nonstop misery of s5.

i think we're always going to have some unanswered questions (and i feel like someone said they were taking the tbk into s6 so we'll get to that when we get to it) when it comes to parts of the storyline but i'm down for what they have given us (showing us that bughead was in contact over those years, them texting like they were hanging out while back in riverdale—that's just fic opportunities for us, you know?) and even tho parts of the fandom are still sitting on high school problems, i'm not and i'm ready for them to get past all of it.

more anons below the cut:

listen, evan has no business entertaining someone who rants in his dms like that. that's...ridiculous. he's a grown ass man who should be acting professionally, not doing whatever it is he's doing.

i have no idea what he said about b/a before the episode or why he felt the need to do that (engagement???) but it doesn't matter what he means by it, he's a known liar. him baiting them isn't even up for debate, it's something he knowingly does and they keep going back to him for info like this time will have a totally different outcome.

i'm not saying that b/a won't happen (in regards to spoilers we've heard), i'm saying that as an adult who works with teenagers, i find it weird and cringe and totally unprofessional and in the end, when bugvarchoni is back together and they're yelling at evan, he will have created the environment in which he is received.

basically, he did this to himself and if i were his boss and i found out he was handing out spoilers (or outright lying about them) in dms, he'd be updating his resume right about now.

they needed to rewrite riverdale history to make the palladium storyline make more sense? i don't know, man. i don't care much about hiram (i don't care much about any of the parents tbh).

no idea but yooo, let's not get my hopes up like that. tho i feel like we saw her in s6 bts? maybe? i think? i don't remember. but also, alice is trash but i also don't want betty to lose almost every family member she has (the blossom mothman inbreeding program notwithstanding) so i vote she retires and goes off to live somewhere (with uncle frank) for the foreseeable future.

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus is this notorious pirate famous in the caribbean with everyone talking about him because of how successful he is. his quartermaster is definitely raphael (his care for his clan and how he cares for others solidifies this thought process) and their ship has some corny name that raphael pretends to hate but definitely loves. europe thinks that magnus and his crew are demons(racists fucks) meanwhile theyre out here being nerds who enjoys navigating the seas and ruining racists job prospects+

+cat and ragnor live on nassau with magnus bringing back supplies they sell(we love the blackmarket here). the lightwoods are brought into this world bc their parents send them off to nassau to try and expand the family's business and gain profit off of this lawless place which refuses to be governed by anyone. malec meets at like the local inn where maia works at also where izzy meets her and by association The Polycule)and is just attracted to each other right then and there with bad flirting. once they become settled in, alec and izzy becomes like disillusioned with following what their parents expect of them and start to actually do what they wish. because he's dramatic, alec probably asks ragnor who settled down from pirating for more lessons in sword fighting (hes not unexperienced but theres a difference from fighting on land and on water)

eventually magnus hears about this cue them dramatically learning how to fight on like this cliff top with their swords connecting (we love euphemisms for sex) and them bonding over magnus' book collection he has and them no longer doing what their parents expect of them (im imagining asmodeus as this well traveled trader or something who only cares about money rather than having humanity) and even though magnus is this pirate which is a profession that the "civilized world" looks down on, he's like the epitome of actually having morals and caring about people (pirates were known to drastically impact the slave trade as they often freed slaves and let them join their crew or they worked directly with maroons and indigenous people). 

i imagine their first kiss to be when theyre training and someone has a sword pressed against the others neck because theyre horny bastards and they accept only the dramatics. their proposal/matelot is potc levels of dramatic with them fighting an enemy crew alongside The Polycule(the most badass and queer crew out there) and like halfway through alec is just like marry me and then next thing they know it raphael is officiating their marriage around dead people before they go on to have a better and more planned out wedding on shore (had to get some of this out now before i went too deep, The Poycule is definitely something i paid attention to most considering how big and complex the group is)

ugh not to add to an already huge post but

you are totally right about raphael being his quartermaster! raphael is a great leader and he cares so much for his people and he is one of the few people magnus obviously trusts, even as they have their differences. only other person i could imagine as magnus' quartermaster would be cat but like! raphael is perfect for the job! also i love the idea that he pretends to hate the corny name, he has to pretend to hate magnus' puns and jokes on principle but really he loves it

also "meanwhile they are all nerds" accurate, the whole ship is just a whole mess of people having fun and being family we love that for them

and ok not to slut for the polycule but i'm slutting for the polycule i just. aaa want to know so much more about them. i know you said they were already with maia but idk i can see many of them being part of magnus' crew? especially meliorn and tbh clary lmao she seems the type who would love adventure like that (i'm going with fanon clary here mostly) and i can see simon in both but i can also definitely see simon being in the inn with maia (god i have a half baked au that includes that) because being in the sea all day? no thank you. and they are just this nice local couple that helps all the pirates because fuck the racist law

also it's hilarious because they are so warm and welcoming and the lightwoods get there and simon is like "oh-oh. incoming" and maia is all like "what the fUCK do you want"

which lowkey backfires because izzy is just like "oh she's so fierce, i love her" and is already like, halfway in love doing the head tilt and huge grin thing (she's not creepy about it, just like, she likes it, you know? especially because in this AU izzy was raised as a Rich Girl so she's expected to be all that fragile useless white woman ideal and yada yada and she's not here for that so she's attracted to the idea of women like clary and maia)

and just like ghhgggghhh not to slut but i love the idea that they are in the inn and meliorn raphael and possibly clary are always in the sea so like! sweet reunions! not that they are usually going super far lmao mostly just stopping the slave trade and protecting the caribbean and shit, but that's a few months in between visits and i picture that at some point when they are getting to nassau raphael is just like, vibrating (you know, as much as he allows himself to) and magnus just smiles knowingly, happy that his boy has found people he's so happy with

and raphael getting into the inn and being like "simon! maia!" and simon and maia being like "raphael! meliorn!" and just crashing into this big group hug and it's all laughs and meliorn twirls maia and she giggles and simon kisses raphael's cheek and is all worried about them both (plus clary) because god what the fuck kind of shit did they get into this time, are they hurt? if he's broken another leg he's gonna- and raphael laughs and says "no, cariño, i promise all i have with me are gifts" because he's not gonna travel the caribbean and not bring stuff for his partners. so it's him and meliorn showering maia and simon in gifts and pretty and maybe stolen things (maia in particular takes such great joy in learning that her pretty new bracelet belonged to some racist bitch) like spoils you know? lmao, and looking at them it's like they haven't seen each other in years or something but no it's been like a month and it's always like that

and alec and izzy are just watching that, mouths slack, shocked, but highkey yearning for something as free as that, that loving family and that open love and meliorn's genderfuckery and just everything about them! and alec "conceal don't feel" lightwood is kind of frowning and goes "are they always like that?" to which magnus, behind him, answers "yes" and then he turns around and they stare at each other and magnus quickly goes from "happy for my boys" to "hello tall person" in a matter of seconds and is suddenly all seductive and flirty and alec is having the time of his life? especially since here away from the lightwoods he can allow himself just a little bit, and letting a guy flirt with him can't hurt, right? he knows izzy won't tell their parents. so he engages

cue terribly bad flirting, izzy smiling widely as she watches the polycule dynamics, highkey wanting something like that for herself, especially seeing the way that clary talks to maia all like "look at this SWORD" and all the adventures. and maia still doesn't trust her but apparently magnus has already hit it off with her brother so what the hell, they might as well stay

and just!! yes getting to know each other shenanigans. i picture that like the army gets there and tries to get magnus and his crew and alec and izzy are like running to them to warn them (alec not knowing quite why, he shouldn't be taking that big of a risk, he shouldn't be getting attached to a pirate - of whom he's only heard terrible things so far, thinks they are Evil basically - just because something about him is alluring and represents the freedom he doesn't allow himself to want, but... he is getting attached) and the whole gang is all like *very calmly heading to the secret hideout in their room* oh don't worry about that lmao they do this every week

and idk i just want a moment where they are almost found and alec and izzy lowkey save their ass (i mean they would have managed but they make it easier, maybe use the Privilege Card lmao). maybe the guards were closer than they thought so alec ends up just shoving magnus into the hideout and when the guards come in he's all like "WHO is interrupting our sleep" and acts like an entitled brat and they don't even search the room lmao and then alec runs to the hideout all "sorry that i pushed you, are you okay?" and magnus is all like "i'm fine" but a little touched about the care. just to establish that trust, you know? both between them and between izzy and the rest of the polycule

so after that it all kind of flows smoothly because they know they can genuinely trust the lightwoods and so it grows into something more. magnus and alec can bond over having Terrible Parents With Terrible Morals and they open up about their respective traumas with abuse, and alec confesses to magnus for the first time ever that he doesn't want to be like his parents, that he thought if maybe he earned their respect, he could change things from the inside. and magnus looks at him all soft and touched and is like "there's no changing things from the inside" and alec is like "i'm starting to realize that" you know

and yeah alec gets to see how much that crew cares for each other, way more than his "traditional family" ever could (except for him and izzy who are just as devoted to each other as the crew is, but like, it's honestly less the "blood relations" and more how they've always been there for each other as they handled their parents' shittiness) and again he's just yearning because he always believed he wouldn't get something like that. and magnus in particular is just so caring and just wants to make the world a better place, you know? and he admires that and they bond over that, too

and just jdhdaodshad god i love this. and meanwhile izzy is flirting with maia clary and meliorn like crazy and soon they are like this huge messy group with all those dynamics... and i just aaa and alec and izzy end up joining the crew and daiodsaiodjsaio RAPHAEL OFFICIATING THEIR WEDDING i'm genuinely all for that fucking shit, magnus wants his boy to do it for them and aaaaa! also i DEMAND raphael&meliorn fighting sequences because i bet they would make a bomb ass duo fighting back to back and shit, you know? bonus points if they are defending simon and maia who are behind them and just making sure no one touches them?? i live for this shit 

in short i love this and you said “get some out of your chest" so if there's more, then fuck, i can't wait to see it dahsdaijas i'm sorry for talking so much i get too excited

[brindlestorm]

Is It Ashfur?

SPOILERS FOR THE SILENT THAW PREVIEW AND SQUIRRELFLIGHT’S HOPE BELOW

Also, it’s hella long. Sorry about that

So, is Ashfur possessing Bramblestar? That’s the most common theory, though a lot of us don’t like it. A new character would be refreshing as the villain if a bit confusing as to why they have a grudge against the clans.

[Again, spoilers for Squirrelflight’s Hope]

Near the end of the book, Squirrelflight and Leafpool arrive in Starclan and are greeted by Larksong, who died of poisoning (a mouse ate a plant that made it poisonous to cats) and his son Flickerkit (who was named in Starclan, Flickerkit’s name was the key to getting Sparkpelt to believe that Squirrelflight was in Starclan for a period of time).

After reuniting with loved ones, Firestar takes Leafpool and Squirrelflight to see Tallstar, Bluestar, Crookedstar, Yellowfang, Littlecloud, and Moth Flight to be judged before Starclan. An important thing to note here is that Squirrelflight and Leafpool are the ONLY CATS known to be able to argue their place in Starclan.

All these cats were ones that the two knew at some point in their lives, and I believe that Moth Flight was there because Leafpool specifically broke her code.

The point here though is that cats like Hollyleaf, Ashfur, Appledusk, Ravenwing, Yellowfang, Bluestar, and others didn’t have to prove their case to be allowed in, despite their crimes.

(Their ‘crimes’ listed here)

Hollyleaf- Broke the code, killed a clanmate, abandoned her clan Ashfur- Attempted to kill his leader and four of his clanmates Appledusk- Took a mate outside of his clan, didn’t help kits cross the river, therefore, letting them drown. Ravenwing- The catalyst to Mapleshade’s breakdown, if he kept quiet the kits would be alive, indirectly broke the code. Yellowfang- Took a mate as a medicine cat, didn’t help her son down the right path which led to more suffering. Bluestar- Took a mate outside her clan, almost ignored one of Starclan’s prophecies for her kits, took her kits to Riverclan in the dead of Leaf-bare which lead to Mosskit’s death, ignored Goosefeather’s warnings about Tigerkit, didn’t acknowledge the signs that he was a traitor, eventually declared war on Starclan (Yes, I know that this was because of her depression and paranoia, I’ll get to it soon).

Obviously, I don’t believe that Blue, Holly, Yellow, or (begrudgingly) Raven deserved the Dark Forest, Hollyleaf was protecting her family, Bluestar was dealt a ROUGH life, Yellowfang more than made up for her crimes, and Ravenwing was doing his job.

But Starclan was hard on Squirrel and Leaf, to the point that I holey agreed with Squirrelflight’s sentiments during that whole segment. 

But where should Starclan be drawing the line?

Blue, Holly, and Yellowfang ALL held remorse for their actions. Ashfur didn’t, and I doubt Appledusk did either. Ashfur knowingly tried to get Firestar killed, we don’t really know if him sending Birchpaw to warn Brambleclaw was an act of cowardice for what he did, or if it was part of the plan to get Brambleclaw to the scene so it could be pinned on him.

Ashfur tried to kill the three, one who was his former apprentice, another a loyal warrior, and a blind MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE. He knew what he was doing, he had a motive and a clear mind. He let them live because he believed that by revealing this secret, he could uproot Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw’s ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP, therefore causing more damage

(Tbh, I like to think that if the three hadn’t found out about Leafpool’s side and Ashfur went forward with it, Squirrelflight would have admitted to adopting them as kits, but because they needed a mother, which she wanted to be. She then would have told Brambleclaw that she was afraid she may never be able to have kits so she adopted without telling him. THEY WERE STILL THE THREE’S PARENTS DAMMIT)

Appledusk was an asshole, moving on.

I’d like to compare Ashfur and Mapleshade for a moment, their situations seem rather similar.

Both- Fell in love, only for it to end badly

Ashfur was replaced by Brambleclaw (Same clan relationships) Mapleshade was replaced by Reedshine (Different clans)

Both- Felt cheated by the ones they loved Mapleshade- Actually had kits with this mate Ashfur-  Didn’t have any kits

Mapleshade- Wanted to have a life with Appledusk after being banished with her kits Ashfur-  Attempted to make Brambleclaw look bad to win Squirrelflight back

Both- Wanted revenge when they were wronged by their clanmate(s)

Mapleshade followed through Ashfur was not able to (Whether out of cowardice or being thwarted, I am unsure)

Really, the only difference between them was that Mapleshade was able to get her revenge when Ashfur couldn’t.

BUT

Mental Illnesses are canon in warriors

Bluestar- Depression, anxiety, paranoia, dementia Graypool- Dementia Ravenpaw- General anxiety Goosefeather- Delusions Sol- Sociopath (as confirmed by Vicky on her facebook page) Hollyleaf- OCD (Personal opinion, she was obsessed with the warrior code to the point that she actually scared Jaypaw at one point)

And those are just the ones that I know of.

Mapleshade also suffered from delusions after the traumatic death of her kits, she believed that she was actually seeing and hearing her kits telling her to get revenge so that they could be at peace in starclan. And considering that warriors DO believe in ghosts and the afterlife, this is an entirely plausible assumption.

Now, in Starclan we know that cats are judged before they actually wake up in Starclan or the Dark Forest, which means that if we can assume that these cats have human-level intelligence, they also have some sort of trial system. Which also means that they have set-precedents.

Mapleshade going to the Dark Forest should have set the precedent that any cat who breaks the code and takes a mate outside of his or her clan (and kills other cats) should go to the Dark Forest as well.

Bluestar went to Starclan, despite taking Oakheart as a mate and indirectly killing her own kit by taking her into unsafe conditions during Leafbare.

Silverstream went to Starclan, despite taking Graystripe as her mate and died in the process. Her death doesn’t necessarily absolve her of her ‘crime’, but she went to Starclan anyway.

It probably looks like I’m grasping at straws here, but that’s the point I’m trying to make. Starclan drew the line too soon, and as such became more understanding when warriors sought mates outside of their clans.

Mapleshade was Starclan’s first mistake, though she did kill three cats (A medicine cat, a clanmate, and her former mate), she was not sound of mind when she did so. She believed she was acting on the whims of her dead kits so that they could rest in peace.

She may not have deserved Starclan, but she didn’t deserve the Dark Forest either. I remember seeing an AU where Mapleshade recovered her sanity after she died and was told that the only way she could join Starclan was to help a living cat find their way. She tries to do this in the AU but Appledusk undermines her, and she eventually considers embracing the Dark Forest’s values.

The only thing I would change about that AU is that I would make Mapleshade a ghost, stuck on the living plane until she completed her duty (and maybe she’s even granted access to the living plane whenever she wants so that she can keep helping her clanmates).

Ashfur was Starclan’s second mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing when he helped Hawkfrost lay the trap for Firestar, blocking the three from crossing the burning branch was a CHOICE, even fighting Lionpaw/blaze like an enemy warrior with the intent to HARM was a choice. Being blinded by rage is not the same as having delusions. 

Maybe Starclan allowed him to join their ranks was because they were afraid that he’d be another Mapleshade, that he’d help recruit for the Dark Forest. But Ashfur’s sentence would have been justified, more so than Mapleshade (in my opinion).

We know that Jayfeather disapproves of Ashfur in Starclan, but what about Hollyleaf? Well apparently, she doesn’t care.

Squirrelfight’s reaction to seeing Ashfur was immediate hostility, though Ashfur didn’t speak to her, merely dipped his head and looked at Hollyleaf. Hollyleaf simply blinks at him, and Squirrelflight nods curtly.

When Squirrelflight comments on Ashfur being in Starclan rather than the Dark Forest, Hollyleaf says “I guess, but he’s apologized. I think he’s changed.”

Direct quote from page 339 of Squirrelflight’s Hope

Squirrelflight nodded curtly at Ashfur. She wasn’t sure she could be as forgiving as Hollyleaf. After all, Ashfur had threatened to destroy the happiness she’d found with Bramblestar and almost succeeded.

Another thing that’s interesting about Starclan is that things seem to matter less, the problems a cat had with others in the living world are trivial when they’re dead, Hollyleaf states when asked again about if living with Ashfur is strange “Not really, after a while, things that happened in the forest seems less important.”

So that’s how Hollyleaf feels, at peace with everything. Even Sandstorm says that there’s less to fight over, but is that how everyone feels in Starclan?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just to be clear, I am neither for nor against Ashfur Being Good. I hated how his character seemed to flip around just for the sake of romance drama between Squirrel and Bramble. I wish he had a better character arc, I wish that certain things from previous books had actually affected him continued into future books rather than being forgotten.

That being said, everything I have pulled up on him has been based on what he HAS done and what the Erin’s turned him into.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, my theory here is that Ashfur is kind of at peace in Starclan. He doesn’t react badly to seeing Squirrelflight and Leafpool because he’s dead, they’re probably dying, and the Dark Forest battle isn’t something he wants to repeat.

But then Squirrelflight was able to return to the lake as a ghost by submerging herself in Starclan’s Moonpool.

How do we know that Ashfur wasn’t watching her? What if this gave him the idea to return to the lake? He could have initially gone just to see his clanmates, but seeing Bramblestar and Squirrelflight reconcile may have returned his anger, enough to make him want revenge. 

Another thing to add here is what do we know about ghosts? Needletail and the others weren’t able to move on to starclan without help, they were trapped in the living plane as ghosts. We don’t know if Starclan cats CAN return to the living plane at will, or if the Dark Forest battle was the exception.

The timeline that we have puts Tigerheartstar’s kits as still apprentices, who we know were made warriors prior to Bristlepaw and her siblings, and it’s not yet Leafbare in Squirrelflight’s Hope. This gives us a window of time that Ashfur may have used to return to the lake as a ghost. 

Ashfur has the motive and the means, his spirit likes on so there’s no confusing explanation for a supposedly double dead cat possessing Bramblestar.

And most importantly? Squirrelflight’s Hope tells us that even though many cats were forgiven for breaking the code, part of Starclan doesn’t accept that. They ARE angry that the code is being disregarded, Littlecloud even says, “What’s the point in having rules if cats can break them whenever they like?”

Squirrelflight notices how Moth Flight seems to be determined to keep Leafpool out of Starclan.

I can’t think of anything else to add, so here’s the summary of this theory

Ashfur has the means and the motives, Starclan is angered by all of the code breakers, and Ashfur has is known for taking advantage of situations for his own gain.

It could still be an ancient Starclan cat, fed up with the codebreakers, maybe even Moth Flight herself.

(Lost Stars, Bramblestar says to Squirrelflight, “You would make excuses for them, you’ve always had a soft spot for weak cats.” This could be Ashfur, or Moth Flight who was her judge in Starclan.)

Anywho, that’s all I’ve got. Lemme know what you guys think!

[delusion-of-negation]

What? You're saying that if I hate something, and don't want to see it, I should NOT interact with it, and force all my fellow haters of that thing to see it by making a big post announcing that I hate this thing?????? However shall I be righteous and act like I'm better than everyone else if I can't publicly proclaim I hate the thing? /SSSS lol, the amount of people who seriously act like that is impressive tbh. 😂Thanks for your original post, I legit had a chuckle.

an irl friend (who was thirteen then but is older now, thanks to the effects of time) once was talking to me about a youtuber I liked back then, and how I shouldn't like them any more because a friend of said youtuber had some problematic kink art, and I asked how he'd found out and other relevant follow-up questions. he'd been watching callout video after callout video about this person, and all of them had been directing his understandable discomfort with the mature topic into a self-righteous campaign - they'd weaponised and re-directed the distress they had caused him by showing him something, that they hadn't age-restricted, that was too mature for him. he didn't even seem aware that the callout videos were the ones who'd exposed him, the ones who'd been careless with him, because they'd put the information across in a way that made him angry at the person who'd just been chilling on their own private blog drawing their silly pictures, far away from him.

and so I had to figure out how to convey that, regardless of what he felt about the person, he should not be viewing content about this topic - which, if you know anything about upset teenagers, is not an easy challenge, especially when, unlike the callout videos, I actually really didn't want to talk to him about that stuff. the event came up in conversation recently, and now that he's older and calmer I was able to be more upfront, and he said that I'd handled it well at the time (idk if there's an objective way to tell if I did a good job, but I tried), but I said that honestly I wished I'd known how to get him to just go talk to his parents about what he was watching back then, because he clearly was not ready to be watching that kind of thing, and he said that if I ever tell him "go talk to your parents" now, he promises not to react negatively and to take that advice (not that it really matters any more since, y'know, the passage of time). I made the post you're talking about a little while after said more recent conversation, and immediately after seeing antis going off about (iirc) people from old memes who make incest porns now - I wanted to make something serious but funny about how utterly fucked it is that people expose teens to that shit just so they can weaponise the distress they cause by doing so.

as an aside, we were recently hanging out with a younger relative of his, and my friend made a more adult joke, and then a friend was like "language", and I was like "oh how the tables turn".

my stance is more that, if you hate something, and you want to go off about how much you hate it 1) age-restrict anything you think is too sensitive for kids so you're not being a massive hypocrite when you talk about it, 2) be aware that you will be recommended that kind of thing as a result, and it's not some evil cabal trying to spread the thing and it's not that the thing is everywhere, you did this to yourself via algorithms, and 3) be aware that when you do this you're blasting someone's private stuff to thousands of people, and that's kind of uncool when they never asked for that, so censor or otherwise take steps to protect the person where necessary. I think if antis did those things I'd take less issue with them being like "ew this ship is so gross", because as much as I disagree with them on that point, at least they wouldn't be weaponising the discomfort they knowingly caused in young teens to harass people. like, the best thing would be if they just avoided what they hate altogether and went on with their lives, but I understand the allure of bitching about things you dislike so I can't be too pissy.

re

[izzyovercoffee]

I'm sorry if you've already answered this, but what's the deal with Mandalorian society and sexuality? Would a larger portion of the population be of one sexuality than others? Would sexuality be the same as we know it since they don't recognize gender? etc

I’m sorry for the delay in answering this !! I haven’t actually answered / addressed this topic quite just yet, bc they’re both easy and difficult questions to answer, if that makes sense. 

So I’m gonna do the short/long again. 

The Short Answer to the three questions is this: Mandalorians don’t care about your sexuality inasmuch as, within mandalorian community and society, specifically, it’s not a big deal — or any deal, at all. And because there is no compulsive heteronormativity, and because mandalorians as a society have a heavy emphasis on adoption and sharing the burden of child rearing with the entire clan, the population’s sexuality should not skew in any specific way. 

If I had to guess, I would suggest that the society leans more bi/pan, if only because there’s no stigmatization to be tied in with a gender binary that doesn’t exist to them. Ideally, though, I would think that there would be equal representation of every combination, and every iteration, of relationship under the sun — so long as everyone involved are consenting fully-grown adults. 

The long answer is … it’s complicated.

The thing is … uniquely, as a society, mandalorians don’t recognize gender in the same way that we do. So, it’s safe to assume that sexuality is dependent entirely on each individual’s personal frame of attraction. Procreation via popping out babies (crude, I know but u kno) would not take such a strong focus or precedence or moral imperative because mandalorians don’t just accept adoption as an option — mandalorian society strictly enforces the legal equality of adoption.

That is, the negative attitudes surrounding adoption just don’t exist. And because they don’t exist, the societal pressures tied up in maintaining a blood line disappear. 

Our society’s understanding of sexuality is, in part, highly contingent on the framework of the gender binary and the nuclear family. I would even go so far as to suggest that a heavy skew towards a cis-centric heterosexual population is, at least in part, due to the homophobia inherent in a heteronormative society. And none of these things exist in mandalorian society.

Thus it’s hard to say if sexuality would still resemble sexuality as we know it, or if it would take a completely different definition or range, or if it would be somewhere in-between. After all, mandalorian society is not one that is wholly isolated, as it’s hard to be so when so many societies are interconnected by necessity and diplomatic allegiances across the known galaxy — and the rest of the Galaxy Far Far Away seems to have the machinations of sexism and homophobia still in place (whether or not you want to chalk that up to writers imposing their internalized sexism / homophobia on the material, knowingly or otherwise, is up to you). So even if these terms and way of thinking aren’t natural to mandalorians, that doesn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t be present at all.

That said, I’m of the opinion that the general mandalorian society may actually skew in the direction of pansexual/bisexual.

Explanation going under the cut, because this got … very long.

So. Why Pansexual? Because pansexuality is generally defined as an attraction either in spite of or without consideration to gender. The distinction of gender does not actively exist in mandalorian thought (or language) and so attraction becomes something that does not actively consider gender.

Why Bisexual? Because bisexuality is defined as an attraction to same and other genders, and the logic that follows is that all mandalorians should accept all genders, aka all genders are recognized. In a society that doesn’t stigmatize any gender, everyone has their personhood recognized (heteronormativity has no place and thus little to no influence) and thus celebrated.

Either way both bisexuality and pansexuality encompasses the full field / range that would actually, actively, exist in mandalorian society.

Pan-normativity / Bi-normativity, I guess. Lmao.

I would also suggest that the nature of a population’s sexuality (and guessing at the population percentage of x sexuality) becomes difficult to discern, because it’s heavily dependent on the population and where they’re located, and how many are adoptees — and how many of those adoptees were adopted when they were children vs. already socialized adults.

How deeply has a mandalorian diaspora or ethnic enclave’s community participated in assimilation with whatever society they find themselves in? Communities that are located in, say, Coruscant under the Empire might skew towards a heterocentric human focus due to the pressures of the surrounding environment — or they might go in the complete opposite direction and raise a vibrantly rainbow one finger salute right up the Emperor’s nose. 

It’s hard to say lmao.

TBH like … I want to backtrack a little bit to talk about the nuclear family. 

So. Family is a HUGE part of what being a mandalorian is about. Raising children is being mandalorian — but we’ve seen that the children don’t always have to be “their’s” inasmuch as a parent to a child relation. They can be nieces/nephews, cousins’ cousins, even friends’ and friends’ family’s. The focus has always been on a community raising children together, rather than any conceptualization of a nuclear family.

Frankly, nuclear families have no place in mandalorian society anyway. Any society that engages war as a supposed common export would also have a high percentage of casualties — parents never coming home, parents severely injured in the line of their profession / duty, parents away for long periods of time. In the wake of absent parents, other members of the clan/community are expected to do their share and raise the children as if they are their own — and are ultimately treated and regarded as their own.

“Why are you so focused on children and child-raising when this is a question about sexuality?” Not that I think you would necessarily ask me that, but I think it’s an important question to be answered.

How we view sexuality, how we define it, how we see it expressed, how we criminalize that expression, how we victimize and marginalize people … is all tied up in other forces and expectations our society is built on. IMO, in order to understand what sexuality is to mandalorians, it bears repeating what mando society is not and does not have.

Example: I’ve noticed that people who are homophobic view homosexuality as a deviation from a perceived moral expectation — and it is a violently enforced moral compass that is hyper-focused on a “woman’s” (ciswoman’s) capacity to bear and raise children, and only devote her life to that one role.

Because mandalorian society is completely without that expectation, the foundations that would otherwise exist to enforce marginalization completely disappear. Can’t have children? Adopt, or help raise the kids in your clan. Don’t want / want to deal with children? Offer assistance to those who have / want to assist in raising children so they are free to do so more easily.

Because mandalorian society doesn’t recognize gender roles, the framework that misogyny and transphobia is built on ceases to exist and so anyone of any presentation is not someone to then be brutalized until they return to a gender binary, bc mandalorians don’t have a gender binary. 

Because mandalorian society encourages communal raising of children, the capitalistic forces contingent on the survival of the nuclear family structure cannot be found here. There is no two parent household — everyone works and lives together, or works and lives in large groups, supporting each other.

Romance, in general, is built on an assumption of the nuclear family’s goal: two people to a household to raise children, alone. Complete co-dependency between two people for all romantic and platonic emotional and interpersonal support. You don’t need friends nor family when you have someone to share your bed — but specifically someone to share a bed and produce children with.

And tbh … because mandalorians don’t HAVE an arbitrary moral system built on a foundation of misogyny, homophobia, and capitalistic ideals of a nuclear family, I wonder if monogamy is something that would be as heavily tied with morality as it is in ours — would it really be so expected? Less so? Would polyamory be more acceptable (bc let’s face it, it’s still in unacceptable territory)? Would single-parenting also be more acceptable (bc, again, single parenting is still viewed as unacceptable, as if there’s something wrong with the parent)? 

Identifying as anything not-hetero doesn’t come with a death sentence, however oblique or immediate or realized. 

What I’m saying is this: there are inherent pressures in our society that we don’t think about that affect us on a personal level, every day. Being gay, being bi, being ace, being pan, being trans, being gender nonconforming — even if we don’t actively think about it, we know on some level that our status in our society is ostracized at some level, if not every level. The subtle ways in which society treats and regards us ultimately has an effect on us — and how we perceive others, and can affect how we structure sexuality and our sexual identities.

The absence of those pressures would lead to a radically different society and social understanding of gender and sexuality. Both on a micro level, and a macro level.

And that’s really interesting, imo. These are great questions to ask — it’s a great topic to address and to try to write about and build upon — and I have no idea if any of my answer is adequate, because of how difficult it is for me to conceptualize sexuality in a society that isn’t burdened by a heterocentric gender-conforming monogamous hegemony focused on procreation. 

God I hope I answered your questions lmao. Sorry I’m so verbose !!

[disparais]

without them, there wouldn't be any of this

started this post whilst in the car, with my mother’s careless words ringing in my ears, but i later found the time to expound upon some other things. started off rambly, but i realized there was still a certain flow to my thoughts, so i threw in headers wherever appropriate during editing.

also. i was so upset when i first posted this pre-edit/organization (i left the post hanging while i was having lunch with my parents and then the worst stomachache of 2017 after - no idea what the pathophysiology was behind that one) that i forgot to format the post under a cut help

why i hate staying at home: (aka the catalyst for this post)

words have consequences hadghxnsb how can you say things like “i always cringe when people tell me i must be proud that my daughter’s in medical school because i think you’re going to flunk out” fuuuuck why am i even still surprised

scheduling and plans:

also a little unhappy with people who flake on plans. casual plans may be casual but i still take them as binding as long as a date has been set. and i don't appreciate clearing my schedule, especially where j is involved, only to be told that they've been cancelled. especially when it's because the people involved have knowingly made plans with other people. (double-booking is different, i guess, since it's unintentional. plus i’m guilty sometimes since my social calendar is nuts sometimes, so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad about that.)

[update: moments after mentioning double-booking, i realized i was supposed to do zumba with a for fc sigh this is why i said double-booking is unintentional.]

this cancellation just stings so much because it plays into my deepest insecurity, i guess, that i'm overinvested in the friendship and i just. care too much. i mean, why else would our plans matter so much to me and not to them?

and why does reciprocity matter so much to me, anyway? g said it best when she said that God’s love for us is unconditional and we should be striving to love others freely. logically i don’t think i impose any expectations on others in terms of gestures. it’s a scorpio thing to love deeply and jealously, and i need to learn to not be affected by others’ apathy/ignorance.

overly-full social calendar:

i don’t get how i can feel like i don’t have that many friends, even though my social calendar is frequently packed. i guess i really hardly see my close old friends like f, ly, l, h, m, a etc. these days. not forgetting assorted people like the lower-maintenance guys like j and j, and other people like d and k (who slept over recently! it was cool). also truly pleased with the direction suitefam is heading in (see section below).

was actually really pleasantly surprised when d realized i was in school last term (when i was on the way to meeting j) and wanted to meet me spontaneously, even if just for 15 mins (she dropped whatever she was doing and ran over). she said, amongst other things, that meeting me was grounding and calming. a clear 受宠若惊 moment for me, which gave me hope - maybe i do have something apart from sensible advice to offer people (gotta learn to curb my instinct to dispense it when unsolicited, though).

limited social energy:

(i only get to my point in the 4th paragraph tbh) increasingly annoyed with qx sometimes because i genuinely don’t care that much when he cancels on me (beginning to think sometimes that he’s not as important to me as everyone, myself included, thinks he is) bad thoughts stop here but i do care that he tries to foist me onto the next available person. i get that he flakes on people for family because he’s separated from them by a goddamn ocean and he clings onto them. i don’t get how he thinks forcing me to interact one-on-one with someone i’m not really close to is supposed to help my social reserves.

and that’s not even it - the day before, i asked if he wanted to do lunch after anat tutorial, and when he suggested la nonna and i agreed, he began scanning the place to determine who to ask along. what happened to the guy who ditched house lunches because he couldn’t be bothered to wait for them to eat and because he hated sitting on the floor? i’m beginning to think true as those excuses were, they were just flimsy cover-ups for his initial loneliness whilst he was trying to fit in.

honestly happy with the way i am right now in uni - no longer fomo with regards to most things (apart from suitefam HAHA), and far more fiercely independent than before. just a little disappointed in qx in terms of how susceptible to peer pressure in terms of wanting to fit in and all he turned out to be, though i guess it’s sort of understandable since these are truly all the people he has. i probably take my social network for granted sometimes.

after all of this rambling, i mostly wanted to say that i am bone-tired dealing with people from medicine. i hardly find deep/stimulating discussion with these people (my immediate peers) and instead i have to put up with banter and it is. so tiRING

the difficult part is dealing with people like qx who inadvertently worsen the situation by open-jioing people to most things we do. it already costs me to initiate an interaction with someone regardless of whether or not we’re close, and unless you know you’re jio-ing someone else i’m close to, you should know that your “inclusiveness” comes at a relatively hefty cost to me.

and the worst part is when i explicitly expressed my exhaustion (rare, unless my walls are down - suitefam sees me at my most tired and vulnerable tbh) and he said “yeah, yeah, i understand” and i disagreed and HE INSISTED HE DID, and still wanted to invite someone. WHAT EVEN I CAN’T he should have seen me the night of my 5.30am htht with kt. i bet i looked like a complete wreck at 1+ when i showed up at her doorstep but thank goodness for people like 2/5 of suitefam around whom i am comfortable ♥

tl;dr introvert invisibility is real extroverts please don’t pretend to be introverts just because it’s cool and counterculture kthxbai.

suitefam:

truly pleased with the direction suitefam is heading in - definitely getting closer to g + kt every day, and this week we even got to hear from c and s.

suddenly realized that suitefam has opened up a whole host of opportunities for me to indulge my love language in terms of gifts as i’m now able to grab something simple on the way back to share with the suite/drop things in peoples’ buckets/run into my room to calligraph a quick thank-you note. didn’t use to think i was really into gift-giving as a gesture of love as compared with the other 4 love languages, but suitefam is really challenging that self-perception. always good to develop another love language, anyway.

also being reminded very keenly on how much touch is a love language for me, in the sense that if my walls come down far enough for me to be comfortable with personal touch (2/5 of suitefam - naturally, since they’re the people i’m closer to), it is a very rare and precious and lovely thing; touch, even unintentional, is so inexplicably comforting and comfortable for me.

j’s birthday:

i was not mentally prepared to have to celebrate with j on monday and now i need to whip something up asap omG I AM FREAKING OUT HERE what am i even supposed to get him?? (update: that’s right i got him pretty much the same thing i got for my ex previously. smh why am i so goddamn practical and uncreative)

going to ilight with him tomorrow though so that’s a plus - self-reminder to pick a suitable outfit and i guess tomorrow’s going to be burnt on making his card. i sometimes wonder whether we’re truly a good match for each other or not aaa the low-maintenance thing is definitely a pro in friendships but i’m beginning to wonder if it’s okay for us or not since we aren’t just friends after all.

conclusion:

i just want to study for pros and not have to deal with all this omg i swear after tmr i'm just going to buckle down and study because life and socialization is so not worth it sometimes really a little hurt and not ready to deal with the people mentioned in this post for now but it's hard because i do love them (love is not a word i use lightly) but all this is making me wonder if i’m equally loved i guess