#tbh i really have no idea except knowing that peter and thor are my top two

[chuuguins]

Top 5 MCU characters

ok ok ok i'm not the most versed in the mcu, so don't judge my list. for reference, i haven't seen ant-man, captain marvel or black panther. this list is subject to change at any time. i know nothing, thank u for listening.

5. bucky barnes we stan bucky in this household.

4. bruce banner no, i haven't seen the hulk. if u were wondering.

3. mantis my baby!! i think i love her so much bc i relate to her in a way?

2. thor the galaxy's favourite himbo.

1. peter parker i don't think this will ever change. he's so stupid, i love him so much.

ask me my top five anything !!

[van-dyne]

if i’m honest, i can’t imagine any pepperony kids being boys. and the thought of tony being utterly outnumbered by women is a good one

you’re absolutely right, Tony being utterly outnumbered, and ‘enslaved’ as his dramatic ass like to call it, by his wife and daughters, is his one and true destiny. 

Tony being forced to watch frozen for the 128th times because his two daughters, also being sisters, LOVE Ana and Elsa to death. And it’s not just frozen really, it’s all disney movies, he can sing any duet on command, his favourite one to do is A Whole New World, and Rhodey would join in when the stars align, which then they will do Can You Feel The Love Tonight.

Tony being ganged up on when he and the girls are playing video game, he throws up his hands complaining it’s not fair, Morgan smirks at him be like, but you’re IRoN mAN, and Pepper snickers be like, yeah tough shit, Iron Man. Tony is shocked by the betrayal and he tries to get her back be like, Bad Words! You all hear that?! His daughters though, all they do is shrug, Mommy is allow to use that word. Pepper throws him a winning smirk, and all Tony can do is accept his defeat.

Tony’s wrist always has a couple of scrunchies, when Peter teases him about it he always replies it’s a fashion statement Pete, what do you know about fashion smh. But everyone has seen him chasing the girls before they run off to the playground, fussing with their hair and tie the perfect ponytails. And all the girls need to do is come back to him be like, Daddy, hair. :( And he’ll drop everything he’s doing at that moment and redo their messy and sweaty ponytails, he’ll also add an extra face towel behind their necks so they don’t catch a cold from their own sweat.

The girls won’t go to bed willingly unless Tony tells them the tales of Iron Man and friends, they always giggle when Tony does an over the top impression of Thor for dramatic effect, and tickles them when it’s HULK SMASH. And if the girls claim their favourite is Thor, Tony only has himself to blame, well, Thor is also kinda his favourite tbh. 

It’s a rare occasion when both Pepper and Tony are required to attend a SI meeting in the morning, the girls love to watch Mommy get ready, they love to imitate Pepper doing her hair, putting on lipstick, and when Tony walks in to the dresser looking for his tie, his two-year-old holds up a lipstick to Tony and shouts happily, Daddy! Ready! Morgan cheers for the idea immediately, peer daughters pressure leaves Tony no choice but to comply, and clearly Pepper has no sympathy when she laughs with the girls. Tony does get his little revenge when he kisses the girls on their cheek and leave them a red lipstick mark. Happy being the one true friend he’s left hands him a handkerchief before they walk in to the SI headquarter.

It’s Tony’s birthday and the girls decide to plan the best day for him, which includes getting gelato from three different gelaterias, a home spa treatment after swimming in the lake, and a Mommy special home cooked dinner, which Tony wonders whose best day is that actually, but it does sound great and he’s more than happy to go along with it, well maybe except for the part where he got dragged out of bed 8am in the morning so he can be their uber driver to get gelato for breakfast, seriously Pep, you’re letting them do that?! To which Pepper just replies it’s your birthday hun, get some ice cream and chill, so that she can continue to sleep. Yeah okay, espresso gelato is a good shout, and the combo of raspberry and lemon, top tier, the face of Morgan when she steals his espresso gelato like she’s just discovered the meaning of life, priceless. (not so much when she keeps trying to steal from him though) It’s brunch time when they get home, and Pepper has already set up the table by the lake, Al fresco? Fancy, Mrs Stark. Only the best for the birthday boy, and she gives him a sweet kiss on the cheek. It’s idyllic, having brunch by the lake, with his favourite girls in the world, Morgan chasing after her little sister who’s running around with her wobbly legs, settling on the ground eventually and playing with grass and mud? Tony can’t tell from where he’s sitting, and then the girls come back and present them an attempt of two daisy chains with obvious effort, softly saying one for daddy one for mommy, then run off again after they watch Tony and Pepper have put them on carefully around their wrists. Moment like this is simple, blissful and alive. Can we go swim now Mommy? Pepper looks to Tony and he puts down his orange juice, come help your old man clear the table first, the girls runs and follows him back to the house carrying plates and cups like two little ducklings, Pepper comes over the kitchen to help but Tony simply says, leave that with me, you get the girls ready. Househusband is such a hot look on you, you know that, Mr Stark? Oh yeah?.. but before the moment can be sealed with a kiss, a demand from above shouts, Daddy! Where’s my Iron Man floaties?? 

[brastrangled]

2, 12, and 33 (gimme that salt lol)

2. Your most rewatched movie

So I have several that I rewatch way too much.

Beauty and the Beast always and forever I watch too much. I love it so much, I can quote it pretty much word for word.

Cinderella 2015 is definitely up there now thanks to how much I use it to fall asleep. I can also quote it pretty much word for word.

Captain America The Winter Solider is another life changing one. You can check my tag for it to know how thirsty it makes me. Or ask Nael. When we movie date it I am always screaming about my love of Sam and Steve. The poetic cinema of all the fight scenes. How this movie makes me like Natasha but mourn for Sharon. How Fury is That Bitch™.

Parent Trap 1998 was honestly life changing for 5 year old me. I can quote it so easy and I'm very sure that my personality was shaped by Hallie and Annie. Especially Hallie. I can rewatch it so many times without ever getting bored really.

12. Top 5 favorite female performances

Amy Adams as Giselle (Enchanted)

Top forever. My life was literally changed for the better when I watched Enchanted. I embraced my love of princesses unapologetically and my adoration of Disney history skyrocketed more than it already had been. I just love Amy so so so so much thanks to this movie. She's such a breath of fresh air.

Lily James as Ella (Cinderella)

Another life changer for me tbh. I've always loved Cinderella stories but something about Lily as Ella was just so perfectly timed for me. I loved how much respect she had for the character while still making it her own. To this day I'm still so affected by the movie that I have fanfiction ideas in my head as I watch it. Thanks to Lily I fell in love with rping as Cinderella and I truly don't know where I'd be without this movie to keep me sane.

Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara (Gone With the Wind)

I absolutely fucking love GWTW and everyone who wants to tell out it's racist can eat my hairy ass. I FUCKING KNOW IT IS. Anyway, Viven absolutely fucked me up when I finally watched this movie in full. Oh my god is her unapologetic bitchiness such a fucking inspiration. I wish I was more ambitious like her, but I can definitely be conniving and whiny and pushy and materialistic. Like fuck. I will always love Scarlett.

Also shout out to Hattie McDaniel as Mammy. I will always love and appreciate Hattie for all she did.

Constance Wu as Rachel Chu (Crazy Rich Asians)

So this is a new one since I only just finally watched the movie last weekend. But wooooooooow this movie is an absolute fucking delight. Constance just really inspired me. She was strong and but still able to show vulnerability and love. Her looks of longing and love with Henry Golding as Nick? Iconic. Inventors of love.

Also my heart and love to Gemma Chan as Astrid!!! Please kill me in the sequel angel!!!

I have wracked my brain for hours but I don't want to use anyone from an animated film so I'll just go with 4. I suck I'm sorry cupcake.

33. Last movie that disappointed you

I just let out the deepest fucking sigh.

Avenger Infinity War

Unpopular opinion time. I fucking can't stand this movie. It's so goddamn fucking bloated. It follows Thanos and tries to make me sympathic or empathetic towards him and I fucking hate it. I want this Barney wannabe to be fucking dead y'all. I hate how much screentime Tony is given. It's basically the Tony show and I'm not into it. I like the Guardians but in the movie I wasn't into them. I didn't watch Thor: Ragnarok but I feel like the Stormbreaker shit really undermined the character growth he was supposed to have from the movie. The CGI made me nuts (but Marvel CGI has been downgrading for years now). Poor Banner was so screwed over.

Also fuck Peter Quill. I hate Peter Quill.

I don't appreciate the disrespect towards my man Sam Wilson. Why didn't Steve see him dusted????????????????? just ugh.

AND I'LL NEVER FORGIVE THIS BULLSHIT CAMPAIGN FOR MAKING THIS MONEY SHOT AND IT HAVING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIE. THAT'S STILL PISSING ME OFF A YEAR LATER.

For things I liked: Steve Rogers was truly Daddy™ in this movie and I will throw my panties at the screen during his entrance every single fucking time.

So yeah besides that I hate this movie. I love the girls (except Nat, who the fuck allowed ScarJo to use her natural hair for Nat being on the run???) but I get so mad that I can't deal.

Sorry this took so long. Easter and the lack of luck with a 5th female performance.

[eggoreviews]

All MCU Films RANKED

Recently, I kind of got out of the fake fan box when I finally finished watching through the many MCU films I’d missed over the last ten years. And it was clear as I was going along that Marvel has definitely had its weak points, but its strong points made everything worth the watch. So here’s my list of all MCU films up to Infinity War ranked from worst to best! (I know Antman and the wasp came out on saturday but I’m a UK egg so I have to wait til fuckin august to get my insect content so guess I’ll die)

Disclaimer: My opinion will probably, definitely not be yours

19. Iron Man 2 (2010)

As much as I love pretty much all of the main cast, somehow this film falls completely flat for me. First off, as I mentioned in my other Marvel list, Whiplash is kind of just a terrible villain and his motives for doing anything he does during this film is mostly absent. Also, compared to how well structured the first Iron Man film’s narrative felt, the story for this instalment is messy and very difficult to keep track of. Instead of escaping terrorists and fighting a genuinely memorable villain, Tony instead spends this film going to board meetings and expos and for some reason at one point, a race in Monaco? And then he’s in the race? I’m just confused. Point is, they kinda fucked this one up.

18. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Thinking about it, this film isn’t terrible. It’s just a bit eh. At this point, Marvel were only just really finding their feet with these films and it’s notoriously difficult to make a decent Hulk film. So what really lets this film down is the fact that Norton doesn’t stick around and this film probably could’ve benefitted from Mark Ruffalo’s presence, most of the side characters are a little underdeveloped and the villain seems pointless until the last twenty minutes when he turns green and smashes shit. Much like the villain, the plot itself feels kind of slow until that last twenty minutes when shit gets smashed. So yeah, not awful, but doesn’t match up to the rest of them.

17. Iron Man 3 (2013)

Iron Man 3 is another not-terrible film. It doesn’t have a bad villain, so the whole Mandarin twist isn’t why this is placed so low as I didn’t mind that really. It’s mostly the pacing and the story that messes this one up a little. As I mentioned in my villain list, there’s so many different subplots happening that it’s really difficult to pick up on the majority of what’s happening. For example, you’ve got the weird fire stuff that everyone’s worried about, Rhodey is the Iron Patriot, Killian turns up, there’s a terrorist, oh look this woman that Tony briefly had a thing with and now Tony’s crashed his suit and here’s a random child. There’s just so much they’ve tried to cram in that I got a bit lost watching this one. That said, it definitely isn’t a bad film, just needs a little bit off the top.

16. Thor (2011)

Now we’re getting into the films I really like, so this is where ranking gets a bit more difficult. The thing about Thor is that it’s good. And that’s kind of it. It’s a perfectly good origin story that’s paced really well and offers enough humour and Thor hitting things with his hammer/fists to keep it all interesting. Plus, Loki’s introduction makes this all the more brilliant, as it kind of foreshadows him becoming a bit more evil in future. Well, you only know that if you stayed til the end because it only takes him about the length of some credits to bring himself back to life.

15. Thor: The Dark World (2013)

I know, everyone hates this film and it should be in last place. But I kind of don’t hate it, and I also don’t get why everyone else does. Sure, it relies a bit too much on technobabble and a villain that’s no more compelling than most of the others from phase one, but the film has a genuinely full and interesting plot. Alongside that is the changed dynamic between Thor and Loki after the events of the first Avengers as he struggles to trust him and we see Thor seem to genuinely mature as a character. So in my mind, this film is pretty good.

14. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Here’s another film that garnered a lot of hate. The additions of Scarlet Witch, Vision and (briefly) Quicksilver work very well and they seem to have interesting dynamics with the rest of the team. The final fight is pretty satisfying, the villain feels like a genuine menace, even if his character is a little uneven, sometimes opting to be overly serious android and other times the weird comic relief. In that sense, Ultron’s character does feel a bit odd, but that and the massively unneeded and very weird love plot between Bruce and Natasha (seriously I nearly turned this film off during that bar scene) are the only criticisms I really have of this film. It’s pretty decent.

13. Iron Man (2008)

The one that started it all is very, very good and is also the only Iron Man film I really like. This one has everything a Marvel film needs; humour, a fair amount of explosions and a decent villain. The only reason this didn’t place higher is because, obviously being the first one, it’s a little by-the-numbers. But all that means is that future films took this formula and made it better.

12. The Avengers (2012)

I know this one is normally higher and I still love it, don’t get me wrong. But it’s easy to forget that, at times, the pace of this film is a little bit slow. Like that New York fight at the end will always be amazing, but there’s a good chunk of the film where everyone is just kind of sitting around. Same goes for the first 20 odd minutes too. Overall, great film, but it’s the slightly uneven pace that keeps it from getting higher.

11. Ant-Man (2015)

You could argue that this one is just a less good copy of Iron Man, especially in its very derivative villain. But what puts this film a bit higher for me was the pretty much untouched genre of blending a superhero film with a heist film. That’s a fuckin good idea and I’m very here for it, which is why I’m so mad that we aren’t getting the sequel for another month. The cast in this is brilliant too, especially Evangeline Lilly’s Hope (who I’m very excited to see kick arse in the cool wasp costume tbh)

10. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Cap’s first solo outing makes for one of my favourite MCU origin stories and it’s also one of the most underrated. This film proved that superhero films could work in a period setting and that makes it even cooler. Plus, brilliant villain guest spots from Hugo Weaving and Toby Jones round off the film to make something that feels a lot more than the sum of its parts. Yeah, I enjoyed this one a lot.

9. Captain America: Civil War (2016)

This is the first Marvel film that genuinely felt like it had lasting, important stakes. Seeing the Avengers fall apart with Zemo pulling the strings is fascinating to watch, as for the first time on a grand scale, we see genuine consequences for the actions of the heroes. The introductions of Spider-Man and Black Panther served to make this film much better. My only issue? That weird forced romance with Peggy’s cousin or whatever. That was just strange. Like, come on Cap, your boyfriend with the metal arm is gonna get jealous.

8. Spider-Man Homecoming (2017)

This film did the unthinkable. It made me give a shit about Spider-Man. This isn’t to say that I ever disliked the character or that the other two played him badly, I’ve just never been particularly invested in his character. The pure bean that is Tom Holland changed this and now Spidey is one of my faves. This film knows that, if we’re really rebooting Spidey again, there’s stuff we do and don’t want to see. Uncle Ben dying and Peter being emo about his spider bite? We don’t want to see that again. A perfect blend of a superhero and a teen movie and a genuinely chilling villain from Michael Keaton? We bigly want to see that.

7. Doctor Strange (2016)

While you could say that this borrows a little heavily from Iron Man’s origin story, it’s mostly the amazing visuals and interesting characters that place this one so highly. We see a genuine, if a little fast, journey in Strange’s character from arrogant know-it-all to magic robe guy. Plus, a good villain in Mads Mikkelson makes this one much better, so when the sequel inevitably comes, I think I’ll definitely be seeing it. The only thing this film lacks is a big finale, as everything seems to tie up a little too easily.

6. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Almost the best sequel in the MCU, this films builds on the events of Cap’s first outing to deliver a sort of spy thriller. Again, I’m a big fan of the Marvel films that push the boundaries and branch out into different genres and it’s pretty clear that the experimentation in this film worked perfectly. It’s an intense spy film with some genuine emotion as we see Cap try his best to get through to his boyfriend. More like this pls.

5. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

I can’t tell you how much I love the Guardians (Kinda unrelated but Dave Bautista is at a comic con I’m going to in October. Fuck I’m excited for that). They brought a badly needed sense of genuine fun to a franchise that still felt a little bit too serious. With a perfect cast with good chemistry, a cool space setting with brilliant visuals and a narrative that keeps you hooked, the only thing keeping this film from being perfect is a slightly out of place villain.

4. Black Panther (2018)

The rest of this top 5 all come very close to the top spot to the point where it was too difficult to rank them. Cultural significance aside (which is one of the many things that made this film brilliant), this film’s characters and storylines make a point of breaking away from the usual Marvel mould to make one of the best MCU films to date. In a rare feat that not many of these films do, every single side character in this film feels developed and necessary, which is why so many of them slotted so well into Infinity War (except Nakia for some reason. Really hoping she comes back for Avengers 4, unless she’s been Thanos’d I guess)

3. Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

They pretty much perfected this one. Some people are saying this is a little gloomy, but that’s to be expected when purple Josh Brolin is trying to kill everyone. What stops this one from being too emo is the well-needed presence of the Guardians, but I could legit just gush about this film for ages so we’re moving on.

2. Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

This film is miles, miles better than both of the other Thor films and pretty much everything else in the MCU. Taika Waititi does something that most other Marvel films really couldn't manage; it has a terrifying, brilliant villain and yet the whole film still maintains some of the best humour in the MCU. Guest spots from Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum, Karl Urban, Tessa Thompson and the director himself are all equally amazing and help make this film what it is. If we lose Thor in Avengers 4, I’m praying for Tessa Thompson’s Valkyrie to take up the mantle.

1. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

As I said, the top 4 were very, very close together, but Guardians 2 only just beats them all for me. It’s a pretty unpopular opinion, but I think this film took everything from the first and only made it better. In this instalment, we see some desperately needed development for each and every character, with the decision to make this film more character driven being one of its best aspects. Almost pitch perfect humour, an amazing villain, my favourite final fight in the whole of the MCU. Yondu’s heart-wrenching death. I swear if we lose any Guardians permanently in Avengers 4, I won’t be happy.

Just as I typed that last sentence, I had another idea for a Marvel list. Might do another one of what I think each surviving character from Infinity War’s role might be in the next one. Ooo.

Go treat urself.