#tbh i didn't even know they were still performing!!!!!!!!!!

[dont-open-dead-inside-net]

I might be going to see The Cure????? there is a very strong possibility! The fucking Cure!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[witchpaladin]

the worst part about that shitty relationship that ruined my ability to trust people is because a lot of it has to do with DID it's pretty much impossible to communicate every little thing that happened without it just sounding completely insane, because it was

short version being that he claimed to also have DID but throughout our relationship his alters and etc kept mirroring or countering mine in ways that were weird and unhealthy but I didn't want to believe he was malingering so for years I made excuses for him

but it got to the point I'd tell him something like "yeah I don't like this character because I associate him with x trauma so his scenes can be triggering and I just avoid that part of the fanbase" and magically he'd spawn that character in his system even tho he'd never watched/read that media before

so basically he went out of his way to read up on that media, lie to me about it (because I'd directly ask him "have you read this yet" and he'd say no) and then randomly one day terrify and confuse my alters by claiming that character just exists as an alter now

and even that we tried to accept but as I started grilling him about the circumstances of the alter forming it became clear he'd manufactured the whole thing because he likes tormenting people

he'd been playing these kind of games for years but it finally got to a point where it was so overt and obvious that we couldn't excuse it anymore. and the realisation that someone would take vulnerable information from a mentally ill person who they claim to love and use it to manipulate and psychologically torture them for years kind of fucked up my trust with other people permanently. so that sucks

it's fucked up that I don't even know what parts of what he told me were lies and it's over such petty crap but the cumulative and mindfucky nature of it basically destroyed my brain

like did he even actually read the media?? did he only start reading it after he introduced this alter because I started questioning him and he realised he needed to beef up his story?

because I remember confronting him, and telling him, but you said you never even read or watched this. how do you have an alter from something you've never read or watched? and his answer was just "oh I guess I lied about that, I actually lie a lot, I'm a compulsive liar", which in itself was something I was hearing for the first time in like 3 years of being in a serious relationship lol

having someone lie to you and manipulate you like that for years when you're already vulnerable and traumatised is so hard to come back from. idk if I'll ever come back from it and it sucks

he did appear on one of my blogs once years ago to basically try to gaslight me and I just laughed in his face and blocked him everywhere. but it drives me nuts because he really has no concept of how much he has destroyed my brain lmao. it's been like 7 years since we met and I still don't trust anyone. I still think everyone is lying to me. I still see red flags in every tiny thing because I made myself ignore so many red flags in that relationship that now even a slight shade of pink puts me on the defensive. and I haven't had a friendship or relationship last more than a few months because I get scared or overwhelmed and I just ghost them and never go back

and. I barely even feel anything about it. because my ability to attach to others has been so wrecked that nothing anyone does hurts me anymore and nobody I lose hurts me anymore

and sometimes I feel bad about the things we said or did in retaliation but it's hard to feel bad about those things when we were in a constant state of distress because of the way we were treated. especially knowing that he holds onto those bits of retaliation as proof of us being the abuser or the instigator or w/e

like richard you can say w/e the fuck you want about the whole thing but you and I both know that the person who started with the lying, and the threats of violence, and the insults, was you. I'd never in my life spoken to people the way I ended up speaking to you and I haven't spoken to anyone like that since

it was you who started with the I hate you, I want to hit you, I hope you die, I'd kill your cats if I was there etc etc etc

I remember it clearly because I even remember when M finally snapped and for the first time answered you the way you speak to us, and he said he hated you and he wanted to punch you in the face, and suddenly you started laughing and said "wait what the fuck, I don't hate you, I'm so sorry, why am I doing this? I love you" and immediately M calmed down and stopped. because it was you who was always the instigator and us who were always just happy to settle into a pretense of normalcy and act like everything was okay

I remember this shit richard. I remember it vividly and every day

I remember you frequently suicide baiting us and keeping us up at night on call, begging you to get off the street and go home

I remember this happening so much that when we couldn't reach you we'd completely panic and we'd start messaging and calling random people who knew you to confirm you were okay

and then you'd come back and act like we were being insane but we thought you were fucking dead! because you'd do this all the time!

and it was all so insane and so stupid that I can't even talk to anyone about it. like congrats you ruined me for other men and not even in a fun way. I just look at everyone and see your lies now

it is so bad sometimes, thinking these things and feeling these things, that I actually want to kill myself. I want it all to end because I don't see how I will ever recover from this, because 7 years later and I still wake up sometimes with it fresh in my mind. and even if I don't remember, every morning I wake up ANGRY. AT NOTHING. AT EVERYTHING. AND I PRETEND NOT TO KNOW WHY- BUT I KNOW

because it was when we'd wake up that we'd immediately check our phone to see the aftermath of whatever had occurred the night before. we'd check to see if you were still angry, if you were still there, if you'd left any messages for us as we slept that will now lead into another argument. it always made R so angry because he had to sit there biting his tongue and just let you mistreat us

actually you know what really sucks is I feel like the only time you were ever truly content in the relationship was when you were regressed and N was taking care of you. any other time it was like you just felt obligated to be there and to pretend to actually like us so you could basically get your ddlg session in

[melminli]

Love To Dream

summary - there was this one girl that thanos really wanted, though, she didn't really want to have anything to do with him. unfortunately, that made him want her even more.

pairing: (thanos) choi su-bong x fem. reader

word count: 1.5k

contains: modern au, mention of drugs, enemies to lovers vibes ig, crack, yearning

a/n: i don't even know what this is tbh but I felt like we all deserved some laughs ;)

Life was good - life was really fucking good, Thanos thought to himself as he winked charmingly at a group of hot girls. They had been looking in his direction for a while now while giggling, clearly interested in him. He continued to watch them as he sipped his drink, the club music pumping through his veins like adrenaline. Thanos's eyes darkened as the girls continued to cast lustful glances in his direction - he knew he could easily get more than one of them into bed tonight and why wouldn't he? It hadn't been long since his last performance on stage, reminding everyone present once again of his legendary status in this club.

However, his attention was focused somewhere entirely else after the most breathtaking person ever decided to walk past him. The pick-up lines he had been thinking of for the group, vanished from his mind after this angel showed up in front of him since the other girls could barely compare. The whole thing looked like something out of a scene from a Kdrama because time seemed to pass in slow motion and your hair was swinging in the air like that of a princess - which would have been the perfect time for some product placement because it just looked so damn soft.

Thanos had his mouth wide open in shock and put a hand over his heart to check if it was still beating while his eyes never left your figure. You - who was leaning prettily against the bar right next to him as you ordered something from the bartender.

“Hey.” he finally recovered from the moment and casually moved towards you. “I'd introduce myself, but I assume you already know me.” he talked to you with his flirty face as soon as you looked up at him.

You smiled shyly. “Yeah, I watched your performance,” you answered him and seemed quite grateful that he was speaking to you right now. “You were pretty good.” you giggled slightly as you complimented him.

“Yeah, that's just how I am.” he sighed as he looked around the room as if it was a burden for him to have to live with all the recognition. His eyes met yours again and he tried to impress you by unpacking a few bars while emphasizing them with the movements of his hands. “Girl, I know you and I are meant to be because after I looked at your pretty face everything stopped being. If only you saw what I can see, you'll understand why I want you so desperately.” he rapped to you, stealing the last line from some One Direction song, but you didn't need to know that.

You shyly put your hands in front of your face to hide your smile. “Oh my god, that was so incredibly sexy, I'm so horny for you right now.” the words came out of your mouth and made Thanos screw up his face weirdly for a second.

Because first of all, those vulgar words didn't match your innocent demeanor in the slightest - and secondly, you said exactly what Thanos had imagined you would say - it was actually a bit creepy since you literally said it word for word. Thanos hardly thought that he could foresee the future all of a sudden or that you could maybe read minds, though he decided to ignore the whole thing as soon as you started touching his chest softly with your hands. He wanted you so bad.

“You don't even know what you're doing to me right now,” he whispered to you while you felt him so sensually and he was about to kiss you, hadn't you stopped his lips with your hand as you laughed into his face. “I think you should wake up now. Otherwise, the pink elephant will keep handing out balloons to people.” You told him, pointing behind him to where the bar was supposed to be.

“Hah?” he asked you confused and turned around while continuing to hold you in his arms, but all he saw were a few dogs breakdancing - and that was nothing out of the ordinary. He continued to look at the scene with a grin, even though some inner voice inside him was stressing out about kissing you immediately as if he was running out of time. He finally turned back to you and was about to continue when he suddenly heard a man speak. “You really should wake up man.” Nam-gyu's voice told him and Thanos only caught himself almost kissing him after he took a closer look. He just pushed him away from him in disgust and then -

Thanos woke up from his sleep, bathed in sweat, when he saw your face in his field of vision. “Finally, you're sleeping like a dead man. There's some guy at the door who wants to talk to you,” you told him as he sat up tiredly while slowly recovering from his strange dream.

That's right. You weren't just some hot girl he met at the club, you were his fucking roommate. Thanos discreetly pushed more blanket over his lap as he tried to shoo you away from his room with a wave of his hand. “Yeah, yeah - I'll be right there, just - give me a moment,” he said without looking you in the face.

You just sighed slightly and complied with his request, though not without letting him know how unhappy you were. “I told you to stop giving our address to these dealers. I don't like it when they show up here,” you grumbled under your breath before dashing out and closing the door behind you.

After that, Thanos let out a very heavy sigh and stroked his face aggressively. “Now she's showing up in my dreams, too? Fucking great.” he grumbled to himself and got up from the bed to put on some decent clothes. His eyes met his own reflection as he pulled a shirt over his head. “Get a grip man, what's wrong with you?” he asked himself as he grimaced in annoyance. “You're Thanos the destroyer, not some kind of -”

“Stop taking so long and come here already!” your voice suddenly shouted, coming through his door slightly muffled.

He looked even more annoyed at that and made his way to the living room while shouting back at you. “I'm fucking on it, alright!” and it only took a few loud steps from him to your front door for him to yank it open to fix the damn problem. He looked at his friend, completely bothered by his presence. “What do you want?” he asked him and was kinda glad that it at least wasn't Nam-gyu because he just really didn't want to see his face at the moment and probably for a little while.

“Hello, to you, too.” the man in front of him greeted him, already used to his weird mood swings. “I just wanted to do you a favor by bringing you some of the pills you wanted because last time you almost beat me up when I didn't have them with me,” he explained, holding the bag, which Thanos grabbed instantly before inspecting it more closely. “Don't act like you didn't deserve it, I paid you the money in advance, man. Of course, I was angry,” he complained again and would probably have beaten him up for real right now if he had ruined his morning over something completely unnecessary. However, he would still have to make sure that something like this didn't happen again so that you didn't have another reason to kick him out of the apartment.

“You know, maybe this was meant to be. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been greeted by an absolute hottie today,” he said happily as he stood there, still interested. “Is she your cousin or something? Do you want to introduce me to her?” he asked and was quite confident in the way he acted, but Thanos just looked at him emotionlessly for a few seconds until he slammed the door in his face.

"Okay, he's gone now!" he exclaimed, bored, and made his way into the kitchen, where you were sitting with a cup of coffee or something while scrolling on your phone. "Don't open the door for that guy if he shows up again," he said, grabbing a cold Sprite from the fridge. You just looked at him with a displeased look. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'll make sure that he and no one else shows up after today. But, I'm just saying that in case it still somehow happens."

Thanos then opened the can and drank from it while he continued to watch your face from the side. Eventually, he sat down next to you, although, to his dissatisfaction, that didn't seem to get your attention. "Hey, you want to go on a date?" He asked, and you weren't sure how many times he asked you that by now. You kept scrolling on Instagram. "You know my answer to that."

Thanos continued to grin hopefully. "Yes?" he asked and then watched you disappear out of the kitchen with your cup of coffee in your hand - probably to your room. "You should be glad that I'm even asking you! Other girls would die for..." he muffled towards the end before he stopped talking entirely once he realized that you weren't giving him a reaction.

Maybe, I should just go back to sleep, he thought to himself dejectedly, unable to believe that he had actually better chances with you in dreams with pink elephants and breakdancing dogs.

[iid-smile]

★ nobody knows — bachira meguru

꠴ bachira meguru x gn!idol!reader

content: secret relationship, bachira calls you 'baby', not much happens tbh, word count: 0.3k-ish

there's not a single fan that isn't aware of bachira's crush on you, an up and coming idol who recently returned to the stage after a long break.

he's been your number one fan since day one. he (allegedly) was the first person to buy your physical solo album, (allegedly) has shown up to all of your concerts that were shoved into impossibly tiny buildings, and (allegedly) owns all of your merchandise known to exist.

he's not afraid of making his admiration for you known, yet you seem to turn a blind eye on the entire situation.

it's remained like that for a while. on multiple occasions has he been seen doing little snippets of your dances during celebrations, or reciting lyrics of songs that date years back no matter who's around. still, seemingly no word or response from you.

and here you are, sat in front of your phone after multiple back to back performances. it's difficult trying to keep up with the fame, exhausting yourself out to satisfy the demand. you stare at the surreal amount of people watching you live, the number only increasing as you read the comments for something, anything to talk about.

the instagram live only started minutes ago, and you've answered too many questions to count. alone, you've probably mentioned how your day was fine at least twice every minute, skipping over some less than appropriate remarks.

"i should eat?" you lean forward towards the camera, fiddling with the rings decorating your fingers. "i'm going to. i was planning on getting something delivered after this, but i think some of the staff ordered desserts. i think it might be—"

"baaaaaabyyyyyyy~!" clear, distinct, and loud. your one and only number one fan, bachira meguru's voice coming from another room.

you pause, and your reaction said it all.

you quickly turn, closing the door to the small room you were in. it was quite literally one of the worst times for your boyfriend to be looking for you. putting on an innocent smile covered nothing up from what happened seconds ago, and a notification from your manager telling you to shut things down didn't make you feel any better.

in a panic, you bid your goodbyes to your fans, your wave turning slightly frantic as the live disappears.

that day, everybody knew that bachira was dating his favourite idol. your silly, supportive boyfriend managed to out your entire relationship without even knowing.

a/n: how long is too long before you put a cut? 😧

[dangermousie]

Top Dozen cdramas - 2024

This can obviously change but nothing truly exciting looks to air for the rest of the year so that's unlikely. My Top Dozen for the year are likely be set in stone.

It's a very idiosyncratic list which has two mini dramas, three moderns (!!! for me that's insane) and a lot of vibes dramas.

12 Hard to Find - all vibes all the times. A tragic romance that feels like a Gothic fairytale, this is what minidramas could be.

11 Love In the Desert - out of all the dramas on this list, this is the one that screams most "a good time." It's a romance and visual feast and webnovel madness and sexy good time and it made me cry.

10 Fortune Writer - a mini that is so smart and meta and fun about narratives and fate and villainy and fighting the story itself. So clever.

9 Derailment - a puzzle and a love story, telling most anything about it would be a spoiler but this story about a rich girl from 2025 who seemingly wakes up in a parallel universe in 2023 in body of a poor doppelganger, and the young man who was in love with the original has everything including addressing what it must feel to people to have a transmigrator possess a loved one.

8 Tender Light - the ending was just - it's the reason it's not n1. But the rest of this drama about an abused wife and an idealistic young man refusing to bow to societal pressure was just exquisite. It addresses morality and loneliness and complicity and sacrifice. Just incredible. Poetry in motion.

7 Will Love In Spring - a modern romance cdrama? In my list? Is the world ending? But seriously, this is such a gorgeous, realistic yet intense exploration of love and loss and trauma. It made me utterly reevaluate Li Xian to boot.

6 Snowfall - this is such a fever dream of a mood piece of a vampire romance, with seriously BDSM and gay vibes, as well as utterly incredible canon age gap ride or die OTP with Ouyang Nana bothering to act for the first time in her life and Vengo Gao embodying a gentleman vampire to perfection. Li Muge remains one of my favorite directors for a reason.

5 Heroes - the story of three very different men all consigned to the dustheap of history by changing times (the best swordsman in the era of guns, a former imperial guard of a regime about to be overthrown, a constable obedient to obsolete code who studied for imperial exams which got abolished) as the Qing dynasty is about to fall, this has fights, humor, three (!) separate love stories, philosophy and utter and complete heartbreak. The performances, the ideas, the filming and the writing all combine to make a bleak masterpiece with a 99% death rate (I am not kidding, only tertiaries make it out.) If I were in charge, it would get all the awards.

4 The Legend of Shen Li - the one truly mainstream idol costume hit on the list. It's an adult, passionate xianxia that reunites Zhao Liying and Lin Gengxin as deities and battle powerhouses in a love story that is so full of yearning and passion and intensity I feel like peeking through my fingers. This is everything xianxia romance tries to be and almost never is. This just might be my favorite xianxia of all time, tbh.

3 Eternal Brotherhood - a dark horse whose existence I didn't even know about before it aired. Visually stunning despite its tiny budget, this narrative about three sworn brothers in a kingdom and world in crisis, is pitch perfect in its humor, its intensity, its tragedy and its themes (also THREE!!!! amazing love stories despite not being a romance-centric show.) The battles, the friendships, the traumas, the darkness at the heart of it all!

2 Fangs of Fortune - the sole drama that can rival JoL2 for me (only caveat is it's still airing), this is visually the most jaw dropping drama I've ever seen, but it's also high fantasy the way it should be - making me feel so immersed that stopping feels like coming up from a deep dive or waking up from a hypervivid dream. It has impeccable performances (many from actors who I don't normally even like), and its plot and relationships and themes - fate and sacrifice and choice and found family bonds and trauma and so many other things - make it feel as if it was made just for me.

1 Joy of Life 2 - THE drama of 2024 for me. It's somehow better than the incredible first installment. It's funny, it's heartbreaking, it has insane performances, a narrative that hits all my personally favorite themes (a person trying to remain human in an inhuman world, righteousness not being weak), a large cast of fascinating characters who feel like they live in front of me (there are no throwaway roles in this), my favorite ship of the year (though it's not even a ship-centric show) and above all, Zhang Ruoyun's live wire of a performance as Fan Xian, arguably my favorite cdrama character of all time. It should not work yet it does. Brilliantly.

[gelphiegifs]

Gelphie Femslash February Day 15: Favorite Gelphie Scene

At this point in the story Glinda has spent years cultivating this public persona of Glinda the Good, despite missing Elphaba terribly she doesn't let those feelings get in the way of how she's trying to live her life. We know Glinda is unhappy as hell but she's still willing to put herself in the spotlight as this carefully curated figure and has spent a significant amount of time and effort doing so.

And yet the second she sees Elphaba again, all of that crumbles.

The Wizard is there! The man who could order her imprisonment if he wanted to is right there and Glinda knows this and she does. not. care.

Glinda didn't even know if Elphaba was alive, she's been dealing with these rumors about her for YEARS and she's so incredibly relieved to see her again she just has to hug her and she throws caution out the window to do so. (And this is GLINDA we're talking about. Her whole character relies on NEVER throwing caution out the window---except when Elphaba is involved. Elphaba is the only reason Glinda ever goes against the status quo but that's a whole other post.)

The scene plays a little differently with each performer, of course, but I love when Elphaba is portrayed as an active participant instead of just waiting for Glinda to approach.

Elphaba absolutely knows she's in danger, and yet she reaches towards Glinda and even shakes her arm a little impatiently while Glinda is frozen (sometimes Elphaba even walks up to her, too.) She's in danger and she doesn't care at all, she wants to allow herself this moment of reunion. Even while she's behind enemy lines. Because this is Glinda!! This is her Glinda who is right there!!

I could go on and on and on about this tbh but it's so precious how they haven't seen each other in years and they're on opposite sides and they're in this very dangerous place and through all the shock and disbelief of seeing each other again they still hold each other even for a moment.

Then it's back to business. "Only you shouldn't have come, if anyone discoverates you---" because Glinda is Glinda after all and there is work to do, but for a few seconds nothing but Elphaba mattered. It was like they were alone in that room.

[jifloulette]

no because imagine reo confessing to you in one of his band's performances???

like it would just be out of the blue, he proposed to his bandmates to play a song towards the end of the show, a love song. they were skeptical at first yet excited at the same time because who was he going to perform— better yet, dedicate that song too? he was brainstorming of sooooo many ideas on how to perfectly announce to everyone that his heart belonged to you and only you, except you didn't know that.. not until his performance wink wink and after about like 36 changes in his band's practice, he had managed to think of the best way to confess yet.

since you were going to be at the front of audience, obviously, reo thought of a way to incorporate having you go up on stage with him as he sings and plays the electric guitar and give you a quick peck before ending the show with a bang! he had put in extra work for this performance specifically, reo didn't even know what he'll do if you rejected him.. he'd probably lock himself away tbh, interacting with nagi only. but he knew you'd love him back, you've been giving him hints that even nagi noticed so it was going to be a win/win situation.. right??

and so the day he was waiting for finally happened, he was so sweaty and nervous but the second you came in backstage and told him good luck? oh boy, he was going to make this performance the best one he's ever did. the concert felt like such a breeze, reo and his bandmates performed so good!! you only had your eyes on reo for most of the time though, he looked so happy to be able to perform. even if behind all that, he still says that he doesn't like playing in a band. you thought it would've ended by now, but reo announced that his band was going to play one last song for the night

"this last song goes out to someone i cherish deeply in my heart, someone who's always been with me ever since i met them.. this one's for you y/n!"

when he said those words, the world suddenly stopped. as in literally, everyone was in shock and became quiet yet their expressions seemed joyful! reo held his hand out to you, his cheeky smile plastered on his face. to say you were speechless was an understatement. he and his band seemed much more enthusiastic when you on stage with him, reo was holding your hand so tightly to the point it looked like it was turning red. speaking of turning red, his face was SO flustered!!! towards the end of the song, he cupped your cheek. everyone in that theater space was beyond shocked. you're expression and how you never let go of his hand was all he needed for an answer. he quickly kissed your face before speaking into his mic once more—

"so to everyone here right now, i would like you all to meet my bestfriend and now my girlfriend/boyfriend, the best person i could ever meet and be with!"

note ; REVBEIVUBWCJVOUHOIDVOR reo brainrot is so real.. i have reo bf hcs in the making tew WBVOWROWVW

[inchidentally]

I think there's something so poetic in the fact that, before being in F1, Oscar was a Lando fan (as we all saw on twitter) and we know (through his mom) that he thought being Lando's teammate in his 1st year would be the best thing for him since no one would expect him to beat someone so good and now, our little Osc will officially be Lando's longest teammate to date 💜

I just think that is beautiful and warms my heart, and I like to think fanboy Oscar is a little crazy about this as well.

anonnnnn I had no idea it would literally be this very weekend for that milestone ;__;

side note you reminded me I didn't add to the Oscar pre-F1 Lando fanboy compilation about him telling Nicole he would feel a lot less pressure being Lando's teammate bc "everyone knows how good he is"

and like, that moment made me think of when she saw his heartrate going through the roof on his monitor after she had the bicycle accent and how he doesn't express his love and affection in conventional ways, he shows it in private intimate ways that you have to get to know him and learn.

which leads on to him dreading replacing the beloved, Aussie icon Daniel and...

both of Lando's previous teammates being these PR slick gregarious outgoing extroverted types and not only was Oscar knowing his introduction to F1 was off the back of the Alpine drama he was also going to be replacing Daniel/a lineage of big beloved personalities as Lando's teammates and like ?? for someone who is lowkey and values his privacy and doesn't relish the spotlight that's just the w o r s t. Lola @twinkodium had followed Oscar before F1 and describes how awful it was to go through as an Oscar fan <3

and then when we all started exploring the Prema videos and realizing oh! actually Oscar's super sassy and sarcastic and even pretty mouthy with his teammates - and sure he dreaded PR filming days then too but he was SO different to that early McLaren content (and even current content tbh). and Lando was already being put in this "so you're the older mentor now" which was not comfortable and it took him some time to figure Oscar out and trust and like him! the development of his relationship with Oscar has been so rewarding in how gently and gradually it's happened ?? some ppl still want the PR bromance content but I feel like the whole charm of landoscar is that they both rejected developing a PR aspect of their relationship from the start and everything we see of them is authentic. sometimes they're feeling the challenge or interview and they're giggling and happy and funny. other times they're not feeling it so they give each other these teasing looks and just get through it. other times they're absolutely not feeling it and oh.

!!!

what's wild to me is that Lando has finally decided that he's not going to perform just because everyone expects him to be cute and bubbly and full of jokes all the time !! and he said that he's learned from Oscar “keeping calm and being yourself, it’s good to be reminded of that. I think he's been very, very good at dealing with pressure, better than I feel like I remember I was when I started." I often see ppl complaining that Lando is "serious" and "not as happy" just because he's a)grown up from a teenager to a seasoned professional adult and b)they've chosen to never see those other sides of him even when he's exhibited them all along - they were just never something he showed very often (considering people only seemed to react to him being fun and lighthearted, no wonder).

but alongside him figuring Oscar out that first year he started realizing oh, this guy has serious respect for me and doesn't expect anything of me. and I can ask for things and demand certain things and not be "on" or happy all the time and THAT is how Oscar shows he cares about me! he's not only showing me deference and respect, he also smiles fondly at every weird little shade of me I let out! (this picture will always be to me the 'oh! that's who you are! there you are!' moment bc godddd the complexity in his eyes and in his expression that seems to freeze time in the celebrations and he focuses solely on Oscar jesussssss)

so in getting a much more authentic, subtle insight into a teammate dynamic between Lando and Oscar, there also feels like a much more authentic and subtle insight into Lando as a person. the more serious, sometimes broody, quiet, shy and anxious sides of Lando stopped only happening on late night streams with Max and maybe the occasional post race where he couldn't switch it on for cameras, all started showing up at all of his media and PR that season - and he's stayed ever since.

bc for guys like Daniel and Carlos, learning PR is about controlling PR and the invasiveness that being in the spotlight brings. it's sort of a disarming attack being the best sort of defense method. which is fine for people who have the energy and won't be sapped by having to keep that up almost non-stop. or like Carlos have a family support system who will get ahead of things as much as possible (and even there, they still can't predict everything they media will do). but Lando has never been capable of that! he was a shy, self-confessedly pretty reclusive guy before Carlos and F1. he hits energy dips hard. he's incapable of lying (or lying convincingly) even to save his own skin. so he borrows those guys' energy when they're together (this includes George and Alex too) to cope and still does to this day.

but !! all of his own natural qualities generate the wildest extremes of PR adoration and persecution for him. being unable to lie and not having a skill for PR filter has created some of his highest and lowest experiences with fans and the media.

and side note it's super uncomfortable to see people literally complain about him showing more complexity and maturity alongside his usual fun, bubbly side and to have those same fans - who claim to know and adore him - totally bypass that he's a mental health advocate and say that he's not "himself" or his "old self" because he's not performing enough and daring to grow and develop each year and not restricting his on camera presence solely to fun and jokes and laughter. almost as uncomfortable as said people advocating for Lando's mental health and anti-bullying and then going on hate campaigns and flooding comment sections of major media accts absolutely trashing Oscar, trying to start rumors about Oscar's family and cultivating insane theories to twist Lando smiling, laughing and being relaxed with Oscar as suffering and hating and barely coping with having Oscar as a teammate. (and the delusions that Lando wouldn't clash with Carlos or Daniel if they were his teammate now that McLaren is at the front of the pack ????? is utterly utterly insane slfgsajlfgsalfgsafgsal. a shiver passes over me when ppl wish for that bc considering those awful carland0 'breakup' gifs from like 2021? imagine the horror of then watching it slowly die in front of our very eyes. like. the total failure to see the reality of these drivers' real personalities and on track dynamics bc of rpf is insane. I'm literally casually expecting Lando and Oscar to have battles and hugely awkward moments next season even tho it's been shockingly civil and mature this season. bc that's how drivers are in those situations! and oops it's actually rly good that Lando and Oscar incorporated that professional boundary as they've developed their relationship - bc off track besties suddenly battling each other for championship wins? have we learned nothing of how awful that is no matter how much the besties say it won't be ??)

and like, this is probably why I went from starting this blog just to follow fun F1 memes and the popular rpf ships to actually starting to use it bc of landoscar. the Silverstone hug was such a satisfying 'oh!' turning point that's even more gratifying and complex the longer they're teammates. and not in an rpf way! I go stupid and write fic etc but truly most of the things I think we love about this ship aren't crossing over into fantasy land or pretending they're eeeeeeveryting to each other or pretending that they loooove each other more than their girlfriends/girlfriend or that they're "better friends" with each other than other friends etc etc. even the fan fiction is so damn good bc the majority is based on the subtle dynamics we've witnessed between them rather than just projecting fantasy onto them. I mean we all love having ships where the guys are playing into it and share tons of content with us to play with sure. but we also know there's a blurred boundary between PR and reality that we'll never rly see for sure. whereas Lando and Oscar's relationship is a layered thing with no PR gloss to it that can just be plopped into a fic concept and see where they end up, yknow? it always ends up compelling.

and then Oscar having preferred to run the most painful gauntlet just to sign with McLaren, then his further commitment and loyalty showing itself at the first opportunity, Lando recommitting to McLaren and including Oscar in that, Lando calling them the strongest partnership on the grid, them both today saying how they both set aside ego and achieve balance through teamwork.

that is the kind of stuff that is unique and has a genuine future and strength to it. it's exhausting and often painful to watch two guys who got super chummy and friendly first and then deal with both wanting to be the winner at absolutely everything only to realize - as so many do - that it's messy and uncomfortable as hell. for instance I learned early on that it always shakes out fine with Charles and Carlos, but the fireworks that make their dynamic so exciting and fun is also why the battles are so intense and explosive. they were made so thoroughly perfectly for each other as friends but therefore in so many ways the opposite as teammates. I'm gutted at losing all the content after this season but I'm fascinated to see over the coming years how things will settle bc that pressure will finally be off.

but we're watching that whole thing consciously being done in reverse with Lando and Oscar and, considering the challenges they've faced, the professional and personal dynamic and relationship they've cultivated together (esp with the open door policy between their garages) is fucking working so far. the fans are screaming and losing their shit while those two are calmly shaking hands, shaking the whole thing off when it's done and already caught beaming and smiling at each other before they notice the camera is on for the post race. Lando is the guy who speaks with words, Oscar with actions. Lando wears his emotions on his sleeve and hates being disingenuous, Oscar would rather let the media and public get him wrong than expose himself too much. Lando has a whole life and separate company, Oscar has a whole life with Lily. they never made their off track time available to fans and don't have to feel pressure to perform there either. even Monza, they were bonded in misery and traveled home together and showed up for press the next race with the same objectives.

tee el dee are, I feel like this milestone says a lot about the potential for them as teammates - and quite frankly if the rest of us have to block out the swarms of fans who can't follow the example of maturity and reason set by Lando and Oscar - and we end up with a small but sane space then I'm all for that !

[piftamere]

part five - stunned (wc : 0.5k words if you don't want to read there's a tl:dr just under it!)

As you stepped off stage, still feeling exhilarated from your first gig, you saw a freakishly tall man approach you, a smirk on his face.

When you recognized who he was, you inadvertently grimaced.

Come on, let’s be mature, i shouldn't base my opinion of him on hearsay. You thought, taking a deep breath and replacing your expression with a polite smile.

"Hey!" he greeted with a toothachingly sweet voice "I just wanted to come by and congratulate you, it was a really good performance, for a beginner artist like you." He was probably trying to flatter you, but instead sounded impossibly condescending.

Ok, so maybe the rumors were true.

"Thanks." Your voice and expression were deadpan. "Can I ask how you got backstage?"

"No, it's a secret," he winked at you, flashing a playful smile. However, when he noticed that you didn't even flinch at his joke, let alone laugh, he quickly added, "The security guard let me in because he's a big fan of me."

You wondered if he could sound even fuller of himself… and made a mental note to hire stricter security next time.

Deciding to be polite you replied "I have to admit you make good music, I've been a fan of Geto since forever."

He noticed the hint of admiration in your voice, making him relax a little.

"Not of me huh? I'm hurt." he pouted, taking the liberty of teasing you. "Geto was the one who invited me and i'm glad he did… I really liked 'before you can', i think that's my favorite from tonight."

Your eyes widened a little, "Really? I'm… surprised, it's a little sadder than the others. To be honest, it's my favorite one too."

"Surprised I'm more than a pretty face?" He teased again.

"I never said that." You rolled your eyes but the corners of your mouth tilted up slightly, he noticed that too.

“Can i ask what it’s about or if it’s about your own experience?”

Even if he could be genuinely interested, you can't help but decline. "Sorry, but it's a little too personal."

“Shame.” he paused and smiled “Can i get your phone number?”

You couldn’t suppress the frown on your face. He choked a little at your visible disgust and laughed awkwardly, passing a hand through his hair. “For business reasons, sorry I should have clarified.”

Only half convinced, you gave him your number, worst-case scenario you could simply block him.

After typing it in his phone, a hint of mischief in his eyes, he continued “You didn’t have to look so horrified that i might be hitting on you though, I’m deeply wounded.” his voice dramatic as ever, a hand on his heart.

“How will you ever recover?” you retorted, smiling. Without giving him a chance to respond, you said "It was… nice meeting you, but i gotta go. Bye!!"

And with that you disappeared behind a door, leaving Gojo Satoru stunned.

[tl:dr : gojo comes backstage, he’s arrogant (and a tiny bit charming), he congratulates you, asks for your number for “business reasons”, you give it to him and you leave quickly.]

fun facts

gojo really didn't notice he was condescending until shoko pointed it out

y/n doesn't know what to think of gojo yet...

author's note

ilovegojosatoru

i've eaten cereals in orange juice and it's not that bad tbh

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ tugging on heartstrings ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

as an aspiring solo artist, you dream of making it big in the music industry. With your talent and unwavering determination, you find yourself entangled in a web of romantic pursuits amidst rumors and betrayal. Will you emerge unscathed and manage to navigate your love life in the chaos of fame?

Part five - Next

rbs and interactions are highly appreciated <3

taglist : open :) to be added leave a comment on the masterlist of the smau

@lysaray @swissy23 @d6za1 @minzxec @sleepy-waffle @saturn-alone @dreamxiing @reiluvr @nikkimvriee @mellozhi @cre8ing @ichorstainedskin @inosfavgf

[mashiraostail]

Presentation Mic, Eraser and Sek accidental confession?? Maybe you guys are arguing or reader did something stupid that worried the boys? Cliffhanger NSFW-y ending?

You already know what it is. I missed presentation microphone the most tbh hes fun

Present Mic: "You can't do things like that-" He's following you, lately it feels like he's always following you. "I'm not going to argue with you right now Hizashi." You hold your hand up, not even turning to face him. "What?" He sounds perturbed, "I'm not trying to argue with you!" "Oh perfect! I know I'm always wrong in your eyes but this time I'm glad to have screwed it up! So I guess that's solved, I'll see you tomorrow." If your mood had been even slightly more sour Aizawa poking his head out of his bedroom door and making a mocking angry feline sound at you would have made you deck him. Dorming as staff had created much more drama than anticipated, he was loving it. You had a feeling Nezu wasn't going to stick to this set up long. You weren't a teacher and didn't live in the dorms, however you were working closely with Hizashi and upon decided to come check on him after the fight you were instantly met with criticisms of your performance.

"Fuck off." Instead of decking him, you just push Aizawa by his forehead, away from you. "Why won't you listen to me?" Hizashi closes Aizawa's door as he walks by it, still chasing you. "Because you're not the boss of me!" You turn to face him, "I swear you think-" "I'm not telling you this because I think I'm the boss of you! I'm telling you this because I-" He furrows his eyebrows, "I'm telling you as a concerned friend, your lack of self preservation is-" "None of your concern!" You can hear Nemuri gasp at that, Aizawa must of alerted her to the brewing argument. It was your mistake for accidentally venting to him about Hizashi's sudden change in attitude. You forgot how much he enjoyed being a spectator to conflict. It had actually been Hizashi's fault for telling Nemuri the way he felt about you, even though he knew she thought misunderstandings were a spectator sport. "It is my concern!" Hizashi asserts, "please just hear me out, I'm begging you here!" He throws his hands up, "do you want me to get on my knees or something?!" "God I'm a masochist." you turn around. "Fine. Tell me how stupid you think I am, how I never think, how you would have done it better!" You jab his chest with an accusatory finger, "absolve yourself of all guilt when something happens to me, because you warned me so it's not your fault that they're just culling the weak-" "When did I ever say that?!" Hizashi sounds terrified, "is that what you think of me?" Your heart is pounding, your eyes are watering, "What?! No!" You leer back, "Hizashi I think the world of you! Ever since I came here I've just wanted to impress you! For you to tell me I did a good job, that you were glad to have me here, god anything!" You scoff, "instead you always tell me all the stupid things I did wrong!" Hizashi faulters at that he looks at you, your heaving chest and rising shoulders, he could practically hear your heart pounding. "What? I'm standing here, I'm listening, I'm hearing you out and you're just going to stare at me?" "I didn't realize you saw it that way." He holds his hands up, his hero outfit was discarded after the fight, his hands were bare of his usual gloves. "Of course you didn't." You laugh, "you can never do anything wrong, only me."

"Oh, holy shit."

Vlad was standing at the end of the hall but quickly dissipated into the nearest room. You'd amassed a small but subtle crowd of teachers, poking the heads around corners and out of rooms. The only one who was in direct sight was Aizawa, probably wondering if you were going to punch Hizashi's teeth in. "I wish I never moved here." You scrub your face, "this was such a dumb idea." "Don't say that." Hizashi looks different than you'd ever seen him before, "don't be mean." He looks at a loss for words. It felt mean to say, even this small misunderstanding couldn't hold a candle to your relationship with Hizashi to this point, you became fast friends. He wsa your closest friend and confidant since moving to this side of the country, he met you on a patrol and showed you the ropes. It went beyond work, you had him over weekly, to talk about music, his teaching, American reality shows, whatever you wanted to talk about Hizashi proved a very attentive listener. It was easy to admire him, and even easier to fall in love with him. He was there for you always, when you were homesick, when you failed, and when you succeeded, to say you wish you never met him was a deep and intentional cut. "I'm sorry I didn't...tell you what you wanted to hear." His eyes scan his surroundings looking for something better to say. "Oh fuck you." You scoff, "fuck you so much Hizashi. What a shitty thing to say." You wish you had something to throw at him, "you're so fucking patronizing." "Stop! Why do you always assume the worst of me?" He holds his hand to his chest, "I don't even know what to say right now, I'm fucking grasping at straws here! I didn't know you felt this way, I wish you told me sooner!" "It's always my fault." I'm wrong again. You laugh, "god." "No! It's my fault!" Hizashi takes a step towards you, "it is completely my fault! I was stupid. I am stupid! I was so worried about keeping you safe I didn't let you do your job! I didn't want you to!" He shakes his head, "you're a great hero and that's what freaks me out!" "What?" You blink at him, leering back as his voice raises a bit. "When I saw you laying there, I fucking freaked out!" He gestures back to the courtyard where a villain had laid you out. "I wanted to keep you safe, so I picked you apart, I wanted to close every opening-" He's holding your shoulders, "you aren't weak!" He shakes you a little, "all this stupidness is my fault. I'm falling in love with you and I let it make me throw reason out the window-" He's going, he's still talking, you stopped listening. You're just staring up at him.

"Hizashi-" You're trying to cut him off, "Hizashi stop-" All you can think to do is pull him down into a kiss. It's confused, stiff for a moment until he leans into it. His hands hold onto your wrists by his jaw. "I'm sorry I....must have misunderstood-" For the first time since knowing him he whispers. "It's okay." You shake your head, "I'm sorry too..I didn't think you felt that way I assumed you were getting sick of me.." "I-" He falters, "no. God I, I'd lose it if anything happened to you, if you left me." Your eyes scan his face, his eyes, you knew he was genuine but still your stomach lurched with uncertainty. "I'd never.." You look down at your feet, "can we talk somewhere more...private?" Aizawa's surprised face reminds you of your lack of privacy. "Come with me?" You don't really do that much talking once you're in private. A few words are exchanged, mostly in disbelief, 'are you sure?' "you mean like...?' They're quiet, quieter than you thought he could be, though you figured you'd taken him by surprise.

Shota Aizawa: You felt taken advantage of. He must know how you felt about him, he would be stupid not to. He was your Achilles heel, he could get you to do whatever he wanted. He knew that. Everyone did. "Aizawa will be there." Nemuri would coax you into meetings, outings, whatever. "Do me this favor, please?" He'd look right through you when he said it. You would still do it. Press conferences, public speaking, all the things he hated. You were bent to him, he was a weakness that only you could feel, but everyone else could see. This had just been the last straw. Endeavor was not someone you felt fondly of, everyone knew it, yet you'd spent the whole fight being berated by him, just to "Do me this favor?" Maybe your quirks paired well, that didn't matter, did no one care how you felt? You were strong, you didn't upset easily and yet you felt like your resolve was being chipped away slowly, and today Endeavor had taken a jack hammer to it. Your stomach was a pit, of course you didn't feel like talking to him. You'd thought about it all, the countless failed dates, your desire to build a bridge and get over it. You can't see a future for yourself where you feel fulfilled, lavishing in free will and a heart that's 2 tons lighter. You worried he'd have this hold on you forever, never loving you at all. You were okay with that, which was most crushing of all.

Did your feelings push him away, had he only wanted someone to take under his wing, a friend and teammate but not a lover? Was this his idea of putting distance between you? "Hey." Aizawa holds a hand up to you, "I appreciate what you did today." When you don't stop it makes him tilt his head, he came all the way here to thank you and you couldn't even stop and give him a curt nod? "Hello?" He starts to follow you, he isn't sure why. "Yeah whatever, you're welcome. Thanks for trusting me." It's curt, it's fast and quiet and he barely caught it. "That's it?" He catches you as you wait for your elevator, you decide to take the stairs, "why are you running away from me?" "I'm not running I'm walking." These 8 flights were going to be painful, at least you wouldn't have to stand toe to toe with him in your elevator. "Stop it." "I don't want to talk right now." You shake your head, "Endeavor was too much today. You know I don't like him." "Let's get dinner," He's trying to catch up to you, "let's talk about it okay? I'll get you something to eat and we can talk about, talk about everything." "I'm not hungry." You turn the corner, your voice echoes through the cemented stairwell, making it impossible to mask the way it trembles. "Drinks then, come get a drink with me. Tell me why you're upset, please. We'll have drinks and I'll listen. Tell me what he said to you." "Why do you care?" You clutch the strap to your dufflebag, you didn't even bother to stop at UA to change out of your hero costume, the tight fabric making you feel exposed and silly. "I looked for you at the school and you weren't there. I figured you were upset." "So? I ask again, why do you care?" "Well-" He seems taken aback, "he has no right to make you upset or to be mean to you. I don't want to see you upset because of him. He's just an asshole, tell me what he said I can set the record straight with him. Let's go get drinks, you can tell me and you can cry if you want and say you were drunk and I won't hold it against you. I'll be nice all night and I'll say I was drunk too, so you can't hold it against me." You won't turn back to look at him, if you do your resolve would crack. "Right, only you can be mean to me. Only you get to make me upset." You're resisting the urge to bound up your stairs and lock yourself in your apartment. "What? No, I don't want to make you upset, have I upset you? Tell me what I did." "Why did you make me do this today?" You grit it out, "and everyday, the press conferences, the meetings, the stupid team ups-" "What?" He sounds lost. You slam into every door you come across, you wished they closed faster, slam in his face. "Why do you ask me to do it? Why, when you know I'll always say yes?" "I don't-" "You do!"

"Please," He sounds genuine, almost pleasing, "let's go get drinks, let's talk about it. Somewhere quiet, just me and you." "No I don't want to." You were so close to being there, how could you get a big enough lead to lock yourself up before he could stick a foot in the door? "I don't want to go out with you right now Shota." "Why not?" He's gaining on you, you hate the idea of looking at him right now, even his voice was chipping away at you. "I know you're used to always getting what you want from me but I just need to be by myself right now." "Getting what I want- what?" He sounds bewildered, lost and almost offended, "I'm not understanding you, please stop let's just talk, we don't have to get drinks or food, or even go up to your apartment if you don't want to! We can talk here in the stairs okay? I want to understand, help me understand." He reaches you, his hand is on your arm, "I don't want to upset you, that's the last thing I want. Tell me what I did, yell at me, be mad at me all you want, but tell me what I did so I won't do it again." "You're just always making me do things and everyone is and they just hang you over my head like I'm a dog or a little kid-" "What?" His hand falls off you once you stop in your tracks. "And it's embarrassing!" You shake your head, "I feel stupid, I feel like a fan not your colleague!" The tears are adding insult to injury and you urge them away. "It's always 'Shota needs this, Shota will be there, well think about Shota-' and you. 'Please do this for me' like I ever say no because you know!" "Know what?" He holds his hands up as you spin around. "Everything has been such a wreck since I met you." Your lip quivers, "and I'm so stupid, you could make me do anything and you know it and maybe you just wanted a friend but that's all you had to say!" "I think one of us is misunderstanding something-" "I know!" You drag your palm over the offending tears, "it's not a misunderstanding! I understand!" You're sniffling like a child, "at first it was just an admiration, infatuation, whatever. I'm sure you noticed, it would be impossible not to." You drop your bag too, the extra weight makes you want to crumble. "I didn't even have the resolve to ignore you for 8 flights of stairs. I thought it would go away! I went to see other guys, I met up with tons of guys, heroes, civilians, whoever!" "That's great, it's good that you're branching out I'm just not sure what-" "And there were romantic dates, lovely nights Shota, and- and...I was scared to death the whole time that I'd say your name instead. I was thinking about you, what you would order, what you like to drink, what kind of movies you like. Expensive, perfect dates, and I was thinking about hanging out with you in the teachers lounge." You push him back, he stumbles, he lets it happen. "And everyone is treating me like a fucking teenager about it, and you don't even have it in you to let me down!"

His normally brooding eyes look sympathetic, even when you shove him, "I think I misunderstood." "Misunderstood what? That I love you, and you treat me like a lovesick puppy to run your errands? I love you so much, I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. I'll love you more than anyone I ever meet! You could find me in fifty years when we are wrinkly and old and- and I have 40 grandkids and you could come to me, ask me to leave, to ruin my perfect, perfect life to be with you I would go. And it would be easy Shota." "I thought you were going on dates and branching out for your own..reasons, why would I assume you felt that way when you were going out once a month I didn't-" He looks at a loss, "of course I care about you. I didn't want to get in your way." "What?" You look at him in disbelief, "don't do this to me, don't hurt me Shota please this isn't a game-" "I know it's not- I'm not, I swear I wouldn't-" He sounds almost earnest, "I do care about you, I...enjoy all the time we spent together, and I wouldn't chase just anybody up 7 flights of stairs like this. And the others were..just trying to get us together, they were pushing me to say something to you, do something about the way I was feeling. At first I thought you were just infatuated with me sure, I wrote it off. But you stayed, you were genuine and kind and I liked having your help and I loved having you around, and I'm sorry I made you go out with Endeavor today. You're right, I know you always say yes to me, I should have been more mindful of the way you felt. I was never trying to take advantage of you. I would never want that, I do love you, I wanted you to come to it on your own but this all got so fucked up. So let's go now, okay? I don't want you to stand in this stairwell and cry, let's go get something to drink and we can talk about everything." His eyes never leave your face, "everybody adores you, especially me. I don't want you to think that's not the case-" You kiss him, you practically launch forward at him, like it was the easiest thing in the world. He accepts you just as easily, using the brief moments of reprieve to speak again, "or we could just go upstairs." "Let's just go upstairs."

Sekijiro Kan: "It's all-" you're shoving him, "your fault!" You shove him again, "you always do this!" Again, "why don't you trust me?!" Again, "I had it all under control!" He's nudged back but never off balance, letting you vent your frustrations into his chest, looking down at you a bit annoyed. "You were hurt, you were pushing yourself beyond your limits and I just stepped in-" He holds up his hands, "I do trust you." "I'm not hurt!" Your obvious injuries said otherwise, bruises and gashes scattered your arms, your nose was broken. The villian had gotten away when he stepped in to stop you, you would have broken your ribs or worse. "You were in pain you didn't have a clear head." "How do you know what was going on in my head?!" "I did know! It was nothing!" He finally snaps, "you get tunnel vision-" "So what?! I'm doing my job and who are you to call me dumb?" "I'm not calling you dumb-" "You are!" "Oh god." he rubs his eyes. "Sorry I'm just sooo much for you, it sucks you have to deal with me!" A dig at his choice of wording in the heat of the moment, Nemuri pointed out the struggle, wrapped up in her own, Kan had said he would "go deal with you." It was poor wording even he can admit that, he didn't know it would set you off. "Oh stop." He holds his hand up, "don't throw that back at me you know how I meant it." "I don't! I'm such a burden, I'm so stupid and weak and impulsive and I just want to help Vlad why can't you see I just wanna help?" "I know you do! But you're hurt, you did help! You got hurt though, you can't help anyone when you're out of commission! I was there, I had to stop it, we can catch that guy another time, I'll give it to you-" "you think this is about the arrest?" You leer back at him, "I don't care who arrests him, he's still out on the streets-" "But you're okay-" "It's my job to protect these people, and your's too!" "It's not so black and white." He warns you, "what was I supposed to do, let him kill you?" "Why do you think he would have? Why am I so weak to you? I'm sorry I'm smaller, I'm sorry I'm-" "That's not it, you would do the same for me!" "You're always butting in, always keeping an eye on me, like I'm a fucking chore to you!" "When did I ever say that?!" Sekijiro had been a good friend to you, you aren't sure why but you clicked, you liked the same foods and the same movies and you had the same idea of a good time, when you had a free moment to spare it was Sekijiro you were looking for. Everyone expected it, one day you'd be spotted together hand in hand, he'd mention you in a romantic way, you went together and the tension was palpable sometimes. Maybe you were a bit oblivious, or hot tempered with him at times, you knew about your flaws and you couldn't see a guy like him settling for someone with the issues you had. That being said, you still would chase your tail to impress him. "Please." He holds up his hands as you shove him again, "please be resonable. You know I don't feel that way about you. I don't want to fight I don't want to argue. I was worried about you, I'm sorry." "God now I'm the asshole, perfect."

"No!" He groans, "no I'm not trying to spin it like this. What's really the problem? I know you don't care about the villian, tell me what's the matter, please I can tell it's something else." He even sits down in a chair so he's looking up at you, "I don't want you to be mad at me like this, tell me why." "I just want to impress you! I want to be someone who is just as good as you are-" "You are! You're just as good as me! You're better than me, you're better than the best of us! You know that! Why do you think I don't feel that way?" "You're always jumping in, trying to save me to get me away from the fight to stop me from doing my job and you-I don't wanna be a chore to you!" "You are not a chore!" He sounds exasperated, not angry, "I love to watch you work, and to be around you I love seeing you do what you do and I love to help you, I'm sorry if that makes you think I see you as weak, I don't!" He even feigns crossing his heart. "I want to work with you, beside you because I think you're the best of us, really I do. I'm sorry I let the way I feel about you get in the way of your work." "What do you mean?" You look surprised at him, "what way do you feel?" "What?" "Sekijiro you just said the way you felt about me-" "I..." He looks like a deer in headlights, he furrows is eyebrows, "I guess..I just. I'm always on your case because I like to..be with you, and I can't even think about what I would do if something happened to you. Not because you're weak but because this work is dangerous and unpredictable. If it's too much I'll stop, I don't want to be in the way of your work, you do amazing work, I'm just enamored by it, by you." He shakes his head, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you in the right way." "I'm confused-" Your face is hot, "stop it this isn't funny.." "I'm not being funny, really I'm not. I'm sorry this got so out of hand. I didn't think you'd be so upset with me." "Of course I'm upset with you, why would I want you thinking I can't hold my own why I think so highly of you? When I feel the way I do?" "Are you saying you-" You laugh, "oh I'm sorry." You rub your face, "I'm sorry this is all a big misunderstanding." Your hands move to his shoulders, the side of his neck, "I didn't think you felt that way about me." "You couldn't tell I was falling in love with you? You're all I ever want to talk about." "I'm sorry I shoved you.. a lot." You rest a knee on the chair between his legs, "I'm sorry I got upset before you could explain, I'm thankful you're looking out for me." You don't let him reply before kissing him, he guides you into his lap, hands holding onto your waist. "I'm sorry I was hovering, I'm sorry I doubted you abilities-" "It's fine." You shush him, "We can make it up to each other I'm sure."

[f1-stuff]

You mentioned omegaverse in the surreal DC reblog where he’s commenting far too much on Charles’s smell lol and it made me wonder if you’ve ever considered writing omegaverse Charlos? Do you have any interest or not so much your thing?

Love your work <33333

Hello! ❤️ I didn't used to be into omegaverse very much tbh, but something clicked in the last couple years and I started to vibe with it a lot more. I actually did start to write an abo charlos fic, that's also a Victorian-era royalty arranged marriage situation (woo that's a mouthful 😂), but I haven't added much to it in a while...

The funny thing is that I find myself forgetting it's abo while writing bc there's so much else going on, and then I have to throw in a line about someone's scent asghfjlslsdk. But anyway, I'm gonna share a little more of it now just because I feel like it's been a while since I posted a fic or a snippet...

“Charles.”

Impatience has crept into his mother’s voice by the second utterance of his name, and yet Charles still takes the time to finish the page he’s reading before clapping the (dreadfully boring) book shut and looking up at her expectantly. As usual, she doesn’t look particularly amused by his stubbornness.

“Charles, I was thinking that perhaps you and I should stay away from the palace for an additional month or so.”

“What?” he frowns. “Why?”

“To rest,” she suggests. “It’s been a very tough week, and you still don’t look well-”

“Maman,” he sighs, rubbing his temple where a headache is starting to form. Of course, he won’t tell her that. “I feel fine. And I’m ready to go home. We already missed Uncle’s birthday. We are not missing Papa’s.”

His mother doesn’t reply. It’s not the first time she’s brought it up, and it won’t be the last, but Charles isn’t losing this particular argument. Not even if he has to escape back to the palace himself. A week away from his father in his poor condition is already too much to bear, let alone the prospect of more time apart.

Charles and his mother’s retreat to their country residence had been unavoidable. The ‘very tough week’ in question is Charles’ heat, which had been brought on early due to the stress he's been under, caused by his numerous advisors' renewed efforts as of late to convince him to sign the regency order. No doubt they’ll be hoping that now, weakened by five days of fever and delirium, he’ll feel further compelled to relinquish his power to a regent in the event of his father’s death before he’s come of age.

It’s never going to happen, and his mother doesn’t need to try to protect him by hiding him away for a month either. She, along with everyone in that damned palace, treats him delicately enough as it is. Ever since he’d presented around eleven years old, he’s been wrapped in cotton wool. But just because he’s an omega doesn’t mean he isn’t perfectly capable of standing up for himself. In fact, he can’t wait to be free of the silly protective measures that were put in place almost seven years ago. The moment he’s crowned, he’s doing away with all of it.

“Really, Charles. I hope you’re not upset we had to come here. You know that it’s for your own safety-”

“Yes, maman, I know,” he interrupts, then sighs and aims a small smile her way to soften his exasperated tone. “I’m not arguing that. But I don’t need any more time to recover. It isn’t as though I do much more than this in the palace, anyway.”

Reading books, painting, playing piano and chess - there isn’t much more that he’s allowed to do. The other activities that his brothers partake in, like horse riding and archery, aren’t permitted for him, nevermind that he performed them just fine before he’d presented. That argument has never worked to convince anyone to grant him allowances because it’s not really about whether he’s capable.

“Well...if you’re certain.”

“I am,” he says, firmly. His mother nods.

Good. That’s settled, then. She speaks again before he has a chance to reopen his book.

“The other thing I’ve been meaning to discuss with you - your uncle has invited the Sainz siblings to come and stay at the palace. You met their two eldest when you were very young, but I’m sure you don’t remember.”

“No,” Charles confirms, intrigued. “Who are they?”

“Their father is a Spanish duke, and his son, Prince Carlos, is just a few years older than you. Unlikely that he will ever inherit the throne, but it is a distant possibility.”

Ah. So a marriage prospect, then. Charles bites back a sigh. From one prison to another.

“You should get to know him better,” his mother says, reading his expression.

“Why?” he asks, just to be difficult. He knows very well why.

“Because. Your Uncle Thierry thinks it’s a good idea.”

Well, if his uncle thinks it, then so it shall be.

Charles sinks further into his chair, grabbing the book he’d set aside and reopening it pointedly. His mother takes the hint. (The book may be a dull one, but at least it serves its purpose as a conversation ender superbly.)

****

“Monaco could be a very important chess piece in future conflicts,” Caco explains, leaning against the table to address his young cousin. “It is under the military protection of France, and having the force of France at our disposal could be instrumental in quelling potential unrest.”

Carlos Junior looks up at him from his seat at the desk, notes of skepticism in his expression. He doesn’t make an objection just yet - his cousin would not be telling him this unless it had come from his father directly.

Caco sets down a piece of paper in front of him. It’s a drawing of a young man who can’t be more than eighteen, his boyish features evident even in sketch form. The other thing that is undeniable is his beauty, a sense of mischief and innocence dancing in his eyes that has Carlos wondering if it’s a faithful representation.

“Is he this pretty in person?”

Caco simply gives him a look, not dignifying that with a response. “That is Prince Charles, heir apparent to the Monegasco throne, seventeen years old. In the next few weeks, you will study everything there is to know about him - his favorite novels, plays, composers. You will brush up on your French-”

“Wait, wait, cousin,” Carlos interjects, blinking in confusion. “What does a prince have to do with me?”

“That omega...” Carlos’ gaze shoots up to his cousin, brows raising. “...has everything to do with you.”

Ah. That changes things, indeed.

“As I was saying,” Caco continues, sighing. “In order to keep the prince safe, he’s been kept sheltered from his father’s court for years, ever since he was a boy. Thus, when he does make a rare public appearance, such as at the opera or ballet, his mere presence causes quite a stir.”

Carlos’ eyes return to the paper in front of him, his gaze tracing a path over the prince’s nose and settling at the elegant curve of his lips.

“You must win his favor before anyone else has the chance,” his cousin says. “The first visit in a few weeks’ time will be vital. We can afford no mistakes. But always remember, you are first and foremost a Sainz. Do not forget the reason behind all of this, no matter how ‘pretty’ his face.”

Carlos tries to bite back his smirk, but likely fails from the look his cousin sends him.

“Charm him, Carlos. Make him smile. God knows you are good at that. The rest will be up to fate.”

[gemini-stories]

remember me | j.wy x reader

synopsis: the years may have passed but he always remembered you. even when you didn't. pairing: wooyoung x fem!reader genre: idol!AU, friends to strangers to partners to lovers (?), smut (minors do not interact!!) warnings: idol wooyoung, idol reader, smut, face riding, cunnilingus, protected vaginal penetration (wrap it before you tap it), oral (female receiving), reader is bitchy, one sided pining, wooyoung is dumbly in love. if I miss anything pls let me know! word count: 7.6k ish a/n: tbh I wanted to get out of my comfort writing zone and decided to post my first fic here! this was supposed to be a one shot but it was getting too long for my liking, so maybe a part 2? anyways I'm open to any feedback and criticism so don't be shy to let me know and if you'd actually like to read the second part (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

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The first time Wooyoung saw you was at the Junior Local Dance Competition you both participated when you were both 10 years old. He was dancing for the first time in front of a public after he started dance lessons three months ago. He messed up the steps. He was so nervous that he forgot a step and after that the whole choreography was a mess. He was on the floor sulking, in a corner backstage, far from anyone. 

“I knew I'd find you here crying,” you said with a warm smile. 

Wooyoung raised his glance towards you.

“I’m not crying!” he said embarrassed, crimson blossoming on his cheeks. 

“Yet. You’re upset and in the crying corner.You were about to cry if i wouldn’t have come here.” 

“Crying corner?” he asked, looking at the pink ruffles of your dress.

“We all come to this corner after our first performance. Usually everyone’s first performance is bad. Like really bad. So everyone who wants to cry and wants to do so alone comes here.”

He brought his knees to his chest and hid his face. “So I was really bad. Maybe I should quit before it’s too late.”

“Hey,” you lightly pushed his shoulder, your voice calm, “if we all were to quit, no one would come to this competition again. You should’ve seen me here the first time, I was a disaster,” you chuckled.

Wooyoung was emotionless. You seriously had to lighten him up somehow, otherwise he might mean what he is saying. You wished someone would have cheered you up when you were in his place four years ago. Now, you felt it was your duty to do it for someone else, so they wouldn’t go through a spiraling of self doubt at such a young age.

“Look, this was your first year, right?” you started cautiously. He slowly nodded his head and you took it as a sign to continue. “I bet next year you’ll even win the competition if you don’t give up now!”

“What?” he finally looked at you suspiciously.

“Practice every day and snatch the first place from me,” you said in the most serious way possible.

“How do you even know if you’ll win today?” he asked, laughing in your face. There it was.

“Well, I know I can win today, so you have to do it next year,” you grinned with a smile from ear to ear. “Pinky promise and all!” you extended your arm, fluttering your pinky finger.

Wooyoung looked at you puzzled. But why not, he thought. There was no guarantee you’d win today. So, he put his pinky into yours and you two sealed the promise with your thumbs.

“You can’t go back down now,” you said while getting up. “You have to win next year. Of course, you’ll have to beat me for that..but we made the promise, so work hard.”

Wooyoung was still as puzzled until you left. Does this mean he can’t give up now?

He got up and went to search for his parents in the audience. His parents waited for him with a sad smile, telling him he still did great and not to think about any mistake. He thought how you didn’t smile sadly at him. 

Then you came on stage. With your pink ruffle dress and glitter makeup. The audience clapped, wishing you good luck. It all went to silence and the music started flowing through the whole stage. And you started dancing. Wooyoung could only compare your dance to angels flying on the stage. You graciously moved on the song, smiling and lip-syncing to the song. 

You noticed him in the audience and you thought you should show him how confident you are. How confident he should be next time as well. You decided to improvise by getting closer to the edge of the stage, where he was sitting. You winked at him, sticking out your tongue and turned around to continue your choreography. The audience cheered.

Wooyoung was damn stunned. Did you just wink at him? Did anyone notice? He looked around but everyone seemed to think it was part of the dance. Maybe it actually was part of the dance. Your facial expressions were matching the mood of the song, which was very cheery. 

You finished your choreography with a courtesy and the whole public erupted in applause and cheers, while you went backstage.

You were right. You did win.

You fulfilled your side of the promise and now it was Wooyoung’s turn. He didn’t give up. He continued going to the dance classes. He thought about your performance every day. How confident and pretty you looked on stage, like the stage was your home. Like you were born to be on stage. He thought about how everyone in the audience was looking in awe at you, admiring the way you moved and clapping and cheering and smiling. And he thought that’s exactly how he wants them to look at him.

So he went to class after class after class for the whole year. He thought about his promise every day, motivating him to go forward. Quickly enough, it was time for the Junior Local Dance Competition. He was confident in his performance this year. His dance teacher complimented him so many times in the past months, even telling his parents how quickly he made such a progress. He was confident. Confident that he could beat you? Not so much. But he still had a promise to fulfill. Just you wait!

But he ended up being the one to wait. On the podium. With the first place medal in his hand. Alone. Because you were not there. He won but you were not there to see it. You didn’t come to that year's competition. Neither the next year’s. When he won again. Or the next, when once again he won.  

He thought he’ll never see you again. He thought about your performance that day. About how happy everyone was watching you. About how happy he was watching you.

Until you were dancing on the stage in front of him again. At the Regional Competition he attended when he was 14. You were dancing on a rendition of a popular pop song. Smiling and lip-syncing, while the audience was clapping and cheering for you. As he once remembered. Of course he’d recognize you and your smile, because you didn’t change at all. In reality, you changed a lot. You were taller, with shorter hair than he remembered, and not wearing the pink ruffled dress. 

You won. He came in second. He didn’t lose the competitions in a long time. But he was not upset because it was you. You won. You were there.

He wondered if you remembered him. You didn’t. You congratulated him for his performance telling him it was amazing after the awards were given and everyone went backstage. You didn’t bring up your promise and neither did him. Because immediately after you went to a group of girls, laughing and jumping in happiness. He looked at you and your group longingly. It’s been four years, of course you wouldn’t remember him and the stupid promise you both made when you were 10. 

He looked at you taking pictures with the girls. He recognised one of the girls. She was also attending the local competition every year and she briefly attended his classes as well, where she asked for his Instagram. She thought Wooyoung was a great dancer. She also thought he was very cute. That night he wondered if he could find your social media, maybe she would be following you. The girl had hundreds in her following list on Instagram and he didn’t know your name and neither did he see your picture in any tiny icon. 

He was almost going to give up when that girl posted an update. A picture from the regionals. And you were in the picture. Smiling so wide that your eyes closed and holding up the first place medal. The universe listened to his prayers. You were tagged in the picture. Jackpot!

He looked at your profile picture. Of course he was never going to find you, your picture was a cute bunny cartoon munching on a raspberry. Then he saw your name. He thought it was such a pretty name, suiting you perfectly. Your profile was not private so he spent the rest of the night looking at your pictures. That’s how he found out why you haven’t been attending the local competition in the last few years - you moved to a neighbouring city. Still in the same region, hence why you were at the regionals. You still attended the competitions in your city. And won every time. You were on a winning strike for sure! He wondered if you’re still as confident. Your posts were pictures from everywhere and everything you were doing. Dance practices, competitions, hanging out with friends, pretty sunsets and bunnies. 

He really wanted to follow you but he was scared. What if you would recognize him now? And think that it was rude he didn’t recognize you!

After a few minutes and not that many thoughts, he made a new account, hiding his name and followed you. 

He was so happy. Not only did he see you today. But he found your name. He was thinking that maybe, just maybe if he wins next year you’d recognise him and remember him. 

You didn’t. The next year at the regionals, you won again. And you didn’t recognise him. Again. He looked from afar. Again. 

After that year you also started to post pictures and videos from singing lessons. He guessed you were training now to be a singer as well. Your voice changed so much, from the tiny voice you had when you talked to him when you were 10 to your voice now at 16. You had a beautiful singing voice too. You were going to make a great artist.

The next year you didn’t show up at the regionals. That proved his theory you were probably a trainee now and didn’t have time to go to competitions anymore. 

He ended up winning. Once again you were not there to witness it.

But someone else was. They made him a proposition he couldn’t say no to. And that’s how he became a trainee as well.

Your last Instagram post was a picture of you with your eyes closed from smiling, captioned: “see you at my debut stage:)”.

You were going to debut.

At 18 you debuted in a trio with two other boys your age. Rhythm was your group's name. Very fitting, one could say. You all had great rhythm, were well synchronised, with powerful vocals, and energetic choreographies. You took the country by storm. The general public adored your group's music. The general public adored you. You and the boys. Your group was everywhere, interviews, radios, talk shows, music shows. And you were winning every time. As you once said.

You opened a new and official Instagram account and stopped posting on the old one. Wooyoung still followed your old one from his secret account. He started posting nature pictures with a tad bit of poetry in the captions. It was nothing too big, too deep, or too poetic. Just some of his thoughts that once in a while he felt the need to get out of his chest. He updated the profile picture to be his hand in a pinky promise stand. He thought it to be extremely fitting.

Wooyoung followed your every step, watching all the performances and interviews. He was so proud. He knew you’d be a star. You gave him courage and confidence once and you kept instilling it in him, in his trainee days and once he debuted as well. 

He debuted a few years later in an 8 members boy group - Ateez. They were gaining popularity fast, even though their music was in its own niche, with a unique concept. He was dying to be on the same stage as you. Maybe just maybe you’d recognise him. 

You never did.

“Y/N fucking mentioned us!” Hongjoong screamed entering the dance practice studio.

“Shut up!” San raised his eyebrows, his eyes almost bulging out of his sockets. He couldn’t believe it.

Wooyoung’s jaw dropped and he wasn’t able to close it yet.

Hongjoong held his phone up as proof. “Look!”

They all gathered around him, looking down at his phone. There you were, your smile too big for the small screen. It was a video from last night’s radio interview that Wooyoung didn’t have time to check yet. He couldn’t believe he didn’t see it first. He started smiling as soon as Hongjoong pressed play.

“So, Y/N, you always give amazing song recommendations. Any new music we should start listening to?” The radio host asked you.

You chuckled and Wooyoung was ecstatic waiting for your answer.

“I wouldn’t say new music, but these days I caught myself listening to Ateez a lot!”

The boys screamed. “OH MY GOD THAT’S US! IT’S US”

Wooyoung just kept smiling. That means you listened to him too. Maybe you even watched their music videos. Maybe even their performances. Maybe even..

“Ateez you say?” the host nudged you to continue, a little bit impressed as you usually wouldn’t recommend groups.

“Their songs really put me in a good mood, you know. And motivating. Also the lore behind their concept? It’s soooo good! I even caught myself watching fan theories and explanations so I can understand it, that’s how caught up I am,” you said laughing.

A general sound of gasping erupted in the room. Wooyoung was shocked. You definitely watched the music videos. He was more than curious to know what you were thinking of them.

“You know they are all very handsome, do you have a favourite between them?” such a sly question.

The room was silent, everyone expecting your answer. Wooyoung saw a tiny bit of blushing in your cheeks that went away in less than a millisecond. You were a pro at these interviews.

You licked your lips and answered, “You know I try to not show favouritism,” you giggled hiding your face, “but Hongjoong writes and produces a lot of their songs. I’d love to have a collaboration or something on a future song. I think it would turn out to be amazing!”

“Fuck.” Wooyoung muttered under his breath.

“No way!” Hongjoong exclaimed. “Did I hear right?”

“Bro,” Mingi patted his shoulder. “There’s no way. No way. She said your name. She wants to collaborate with you? For a song?”

“It’s nothing official though. It might never happen.” 

Hongjoong said, trying to stay calm, looking at Wooyoung, seeing how his shoulders deflated. Something he does when he’s on the verge of sulking. Hongjoong knew how much Wooyoung admired you. He never explicitly expressed it but it was obvious. He’d always listen to your group’s songs and your solo songs especially. He’d always smile fondly when you’d appear on TV, and he was always extra nervous when you would share the same stage. Wooyoung didn’t have to say anything, Hongjoong would notice. The same way he noticed now that your answer did bother him, more than either of them would expect.

What bothered Wooyoung even more was how a few weeks later you contacted their manager to go forward with a song collaboration. Your answer wasn’t just for the show. You really did want to collaborate with Hongjoong on a song.

Wooyoung was furious. But not with Hongjoong. he deserved the attention and this would be such an opportunity for him. He was furious with himself. Maybe if he went to you when you were 14 to say “hey, remember me?” he wouldn’t regret it so much. Like what even is he expecting now? For you to what? Name drop him in your interviews? He needed to get a grip.

“I don’t know, I feel like that part comes in too early, you know? Maybe we can add five beats before it to prolong the pre chorus just a bit?” you said scrunching your eyebrows.  

It was already your eighth time sitting in the studio with Hongjoong. You were surprised how well you two clicked. You didn’t lie in the interview when you said you were impressed by their songs. But you did always find it hard to work with new people. You were comfortable with your people, and the point of this new album was for you to get out of your comfort zone. That’s why you wanted to try something new. New sounds, new choreos, new videos. If all the collaborations were to go as smooth as with Hongjoong, the new album will be a piece of cake.

It was easy to talk with him and express your ideas. He was eager to listen and implement all your suggestions but was not afraid to implement bold decisions of his own either. You loved that.

“No, nevermind. It sounds weird as fuck. I don’t like it.” you sighed. “I’m sorry I know we changed this specific ten seconds a billion times today.”

“No sweat! That’s why we’re here. That’s why I’m here.”

There he is. Sweet Hongjoong. No matter how bitchy you are about the song he would help you fix it. 

“I’m sorry, I think I’m a bit in a slump today and that’s why I don’t like anything.”

“What’s bothering you today?” he asked while still looking at the screen.

You groaned loudly. “They are pressuring me to find a partner for the dance segment I want to perform for the end of the year awards.”

“Anyone on your mind?”

“Not one person,” you closed your eyes, leaning your head on the couch. “Anyone on yours?”

“Actually yes,” he said, turning in his chair.

At this you perked you head towards him. “Really? Who?”

“One of my team members. He’s fucking good.” Hongjoong smiled. 

“Hongjoong, you are the best thing that happened to me!” you beamed.

Hongjoong was so excited. He could finally make it up to Wooyoung. He avoided talking about his studio sessions with him around, although the others would pressure him A LOT. Asking him everything. He always kept everything brief. But many times it sounded like he had something to hide. Which he didn’t. He didn’t want to make Wooyoung upset, that was it. Hongjoong, like the others, would look at you as you were - their senior. With a lot of respect and admiration. But Wooyoung always looked at you with more, with pride and happiness. You definitely meant more for him than what he wanted to show. 

“Hey man,” Hongjoong entered Wooyoung’s room, finding him in bed on his phone, “great news!”

“What’s up?” Wooyoung asked, concentrating on his phone, playing a game.

“I might have booked you a dance segment at the end of the year award ceremony.”

“Cool.” Wooyoung said unimpressed, still focusing on his game. He trusted his leader’s decisions. If he told him he had to dance at the awards, he was going to dance.

“A dance segment with Y/N,” Hongjoong smiled. 

“What?” Wooyoung finally paused his game and looked at Hongjoong. “Absolutely not.” he shrugged as if it was the most expected answer.

“The fuck? Why not?” Hongjoong was flabbergasted. Why would he say no to such an opportunity?

“Our dancing styles don’t match,” he blinked. 

“You can’t be serious.”

“Deadly,” he said, returning to his game. His heart beating faster and faster. What the fuck is he doing?

“Well too late. It was already discussed and agreed between the higher ups. Everyone loved the idea.”

Wooyoung paused his game again. He was opening his mouth to protest but Hongjoong cut him off. “Y/N is waiting for you at 8 in the morning at her dance studio. I’ll share the location with you. Don’t be late!” and he left. Leaving behind a confused Wooyoung.

What just happened? 

He was going to see you. Talk with you. Dance with you. No. This was not supposed to happen. He convinced himself he had to see you from afar and that’s it. His heart was going crazy. How was he going to survive this?

He was late. Oh, so late. He couldn’t fall asleep last night. He was too nervous, too excited. He was thinking about you the whole night. He even looked at your old profile, something he didn’t do in a long time. And so he fell asleep. But it was too late because as he fell asleep, he had to wake up and so he slept through his alarm.

“I am so sorry!” he shouted the moment he barged through your dance studio.

You were on the floor, doing some warm up exercises. He was 47 minutes late! How disrespectful. You slowly got up while he hurriedly left his bag in a corner and ran to the middle of the room. He was gasping for air, definitely ran to get here. 

You stared up at him. He was a head taller than you but you were not going to feel smaller. You looked him up and down and went back to look in his eyes.

“What? Your coffee date with your girlfriend ended up later than you expected?” it was wrong for you to make assumptions and you knew it. But you were oh so angry! You hated hated people who were not keeping their promise.

Wooyoung choked on his words. He should’ve apologised. Said it won’t happen again. Instead he said: “I don’t have a girlfriend,” while keeping his eyes on yours.

“That’s your private life,” you blinked, “and I don’t care about it. I only care for you to be here on time. Dance. And leave. Hongjoong is a great guy, don’t disappoint him.”

Wooyoung raised his eyebrow. Indeed, Hongjoong is a great guy, but why would you say that? 

“Let’s not waste any more time and start,” you turned to reach for your tablet. 

Your dance was a beautiful choreography on a melodic hip-hop classic rendition. The choreographer did a fantastic job. You worked with him on previous projects and you really really wanted this number to be touched by his creative vision. 

The only downside… he was living in New Zealand. That never stopped you before. He used to send you videos of the choreographies and you’d send him videos of you dancing it and ask for feedback. It worked fantastic before and it will work fantastic now.

Or so you thought. The choreography was not too difficult. It was intricate with many details that you really loved focusing on. You used to learn the steps very fast, maybe in a couple of hours, but this time it turned out to be more intricate than you expected. 

The two of you spent more than half of your allocated time just analyzing it. Pressing the replay button over and over and over again. Changing the speed and trying to absorb everything to the smallest detail.

Both of you were extremely focused and everything seemed to go on the right path. You were confident this will turn out well even with the slightest hiccup in the morning.

You were wrong. 

The moment the two of you started to physically learn and count your steps, everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. 

Wooyoung’s body was not listening to him. He was too much in his head, nerves, guilt, stress, fear, of failure and disappointment, everything was just overwhelming him. He felt as if his body was separate from his mind. The two doing their own thing. And he was in the middle, trying to bring them together and failing miserably.

You, on the other hand, were frustrated. With yourself and with him. With his delay this morning that gave such a wrong impression on him. He is sloppy, careless and unreliable. That’s what you told yourself the whole morning while trying to watch the choreography video. It didn’t help that when you started actually dancing he was making such…stupid mistakes. Then you went completely spiraling. Why did Hongjoong recommend Wooyoung? It was obvious he had no idea what he was doing. Was he setting you to fail? Was that his plan? 

You literally had to slap yourself to stop thinking. Which startled Wooyoung from his self-destructive thoughts as well.

You grabbed your phone, quickly typed a message and resumed your practice in no time.

Around an hour later, your phone was blinking. A sign that you got a new message that was not silenced by your do not disturb status. That could only mean one person.

“Let’s take a break,” you said looking at your phone, “20..no 15 minutes should be more than enough.”

It was the first proper sentence, besides some counting, any of you spoke in hours. 

“Ok,” was all that he could say as you left the dance studio in seconds.

He didn’t know what to do. He would’ve liked to get some fresh air but he was not familiar with the building and had no idea how to get on the roof. He didn’t want to get lost or anything. He decided the best idea was to ask you next time.

He ended up just rewatching the dance video, mentally noting some moves. Then slowly practicing and watching himself in the mirror. He was doing great. Way better. As he usually was doing when learning a new dance. Why wasn’t he like this the whole morning?

15 minutes sharp later, you opened the door, stretching your back with your arms above your head. 

“Did you spend your whole break here dancing? Why didn’t you rest?” you stopped yourself, inhaling, then adding coldly. “You know what, it’s your time. You are responsible for it.” 

“I am really sorry I was late this morning.”

And so you continued your rest of the practice.

After Wooyoung returned to his dorm, took a shower, and laid in his bed, contemplating how miserable he felt right now, he thought there was no way you were not going to complain to Hongjoong about today. And he was going to return home and scold him so so much. And not in a good way.

He knew the best way to get over it was to dance. So, in his tiny room, he got up and continued practicing the steps. Tomorrow will be better.

It was not.

He was so tired from not sleeping the previous night and from a double dance practice yesterday. Of course he overslept.

He was late.

Only 10 minutes.

But he was late.

You were lowkey furious. Was he testing your patience? That must be it. Otherwise why would he be late on your second day of practice. After you already made such a big deal about it yesterday.

When Wooyoung opened the door, gasping for air and ready to apologise, you immediately cut him off.

“Don’t even. Let’s just start.”

Sloppy, careless and unreliable.

And so you continued your practice in the next few days. Wooyoung was dying inside. He disappointed you but you were so mean.

“Don’t you know how to raise your hand?”

“This is a six count not eight. Can you even count? ”

“Did you learn to dance yesterday?”

“People will start falling asleep.”

“Why are you like this?”

And so much worse.

Wooyoung would clench his jaw in anger and just swallow his words.

You were indeed mean. You knew that. You did have extremely mean dance teachers growing up. Which was very toxic and haunted you your whole life. Apparently it still did.

You did start making these comments out of pettiness because you were annoyed with him. But then you noticed he wasn’t replying back. In the beginning he would only apologise. Then you noticed how his jaw would clench, how his nostrils would flare, how he’d roll his eyes, how he would deeply sigh. He was getting annoyed. But, nevertheless, he was not making any mean comments back. You did want to get a reaction from him. See what he had to say.

Sloppy, careless and unreliable.

And spineless too?

Your phone blinked notifying you of a new message. And so you announced the 15 minutes daily break.

You left the practice room and went to the familiar dimly lit storage room.

The moment you closed the door behind you, you felt yourself being lifted up and placed on the drawer nearby.

Your lips immediately parted, sinking in the kiss. You loved Hajun’s kisses. They were always exactly what you needed when you were stressed and annoyed. Which was a lot these days.

He trailed kisses on your jaw and down on your neck, nibbling at the cusp between your neck and shoulder.

“How is your pretty boy today?”

You rolled your eyes.

“I don’t wanna talk about him,” you rolled your eyes, unbuttoning his pants.

“But that’s your favourite topic these days,” he said, playing with the waistband of your sweatpants. “Almost like foreplay.” He yanked your pants down to your ankle in a swift movement, placing deep kisses on your lips.

He quickly put a condom on, aligned in front of your entrance, and pushed himself inside with no warning.

You gasped and bit your lips to keep quiet.

“He’s just..driving me..crazy,” you breathed. 

“So sloppy.” 

Thrust. 

“So careless.”

Thrust.

“So unreliable.”

Thrust.

“So spineless.”

“Spineless?” he groaned, increasing his pace. “That’s new. What did he do?”

You rolled your eyes in unison with your hips. “It’s what he didn't do. No matter what I say, he only gets annoyed but doesn’t talk back.”

He put his hand under your shirt, caressing your bare torso, moving up towards your chest.

“Sounds like you want someone to put you in your place.” he cupped your breast, pinching your nipple in between two fingers. “Am I not good enough for that, love?” 

You met Hajun a few months before your debut. He was training with you briefly, until he realised he is not cut for the entertainment industry. He was not sad or anything, rather happy. Studied to enter a good med school and never regretted his decision. The two of you became close friends. Venting each other’s frustration. Until one day, you both figured out the best way to vent. A kiss here, a kiss there, and then you were fucking on his couch. No strings attached and ready to break this deal whenever one of you was over it. 

You were stressed through the roof because of your upcoming album. He was stressed through the roof because of the exam season. All this stress combined and you were bound to see each other often. And fuck often.

“Oh, please,” you moaned in his mouth, “you never knew how to put me in my place.”

After a week of practice, you and Wooyoung filmed your dance and sent it to the choreographer for feedback. He immediately video called the two of you to deliver his response.

Which was a disaster.

He said your chemistry was lacking big time. No synergy whatsoever. And that you basically looked like amateurs. 

“Look guys,” he continued on the screen, “I'm not trying to discourage you. I’ve seen this happening a lot. With people that never danced together. Or never met before dancing.”

Wooyoung stole a glance towards you. Your face was expressionless, carefully listening to the choreographer's points. 

“In order to make my dancers have a more natural chemistry, I ask them to do a different dance. Don’t worry, it’s really short. I reckon in two weeks you’ll master it and can get back to your original dance. Just go with it and stop fighting it.”

Once the call ended you immediately got a message with the video of the new choreography you were told to do.

The video started with a sultry melody. As for the choreography? It was very sexually suggestive. Your original dance had a lot of touching and caressing, so it made sense why you needed perfect chemistry for it to not look weird. But this new one? It was something you never did before. A lot of floor steps that were very intimate. And oh so suggestive. How were you gonna pull this off?

Wooyoung was panicking. He didn’t touch you like this before. And he wasn’t sure he was gonna be able to without his hand trembling.

“Ok, let’s start I guess.”

You avoided looking in his eyes for the first time. You felt a blush creeping on your cheeks and fought against it. You were a professional. This is nothing.

That night Wooyoung looked through your Instagram page. He didn’t get it. You used to be such a nice and sweet girl. And you still were as sweet. Just not with him. 

He wanted to check the comments of your last before debut picture (very stalkerish) when he finally did it. Instead of pressing the comment button, he pressed the heart.

“No, no, no”

He got up in panic and did the best thing he thought of doing. Revoked the heart. It’s only been a few seconds. The notifications for sure didn’t come through. Right? And even if it did, what are the chances you are still active on that account? Right?

You were. 

You loved scrolling on your old account. You barely interacted with anyone on it and that’s why the notification startled you. 

It was from a photography and poetry account. You never even noticed when this account followed you. 

The latest post was a picture of the sky through a cracked window from two days ago with the caption ‘your words are grazing my heart like broken glass does to my skin.’

You liked it in a heartbeat, then followed the account.

Wooyoung’s phone vibrated in his hand. He got the notification of you following his secret page from your old account.

“Shit.”

The new choreography had some tough moves. In which both of you needed to rely on your own strength but also on each others’. 

One of these steps was requiring you to be on your knees on the floor. Wooyoung to slide on his back through your legs. Grabbing your thighs and lifting you and himself, while carrying you on his shoulders, and then dropping you to his arms. 

It was definitely an uncomfortable move that you had to practice a lot. It was risky too. And it wasn’t even the worst. 

And so you did. With every touch and caress from Wooyoung burning above your skin.

The same way every snarky comment from your side burned in his mind.

Of course you couldn’t help yourself. You would get even more critical and sarcastic the more you would feel threatened. And heated. 

After you went on your break, Wooyoung decided he desperately needed air to cool down. Jesus it was only the first day you were trying the new dance and it was killing him. How could he help himself when his skin tasted yours like that. 

He listened to your directions about going on the terrace you once gave him. Your building was huge and he couldn’t believe the whole floor was for you and your group. He turned left and left again. He heard a loud thump right before turning right on the tiny hallway. A faint sound continued to be heard. He approached the door, wanting to make sure nothing wrong happened.

His hand stopped on the door handle when he heard an almost imperceptible moan. The moaning continued in unison with the faint thumping. Mystery solved. And his cue to get back to his objective.

Much needed air. He didn’t need to know people were having sex when he was barely trying to stop a boner himself.

Cold air was blowing over him on the small balcony terrace that was as secluded as you mentioned.

Wooyoung stayed there for what felt like just a minute or so, when another man also joined him on the balcony. 

They only glanced at each other to acknowledge each other’s presence. Men. The other man took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up. Puffing slowly.

“I know it’s a myth but cigarettes after sex are still the best.”

Wow too much information, much?

At least Wooyoung knew that this guy was one of the people in the storage room. Not that he wanted to know that.

“So you’re the pretty boy, huh?”

“No?”

What was wrong with this guy?

“Look, there are only two people that ever come on this balcony and I sure as hell didn’t tell you about it.”

The realisation hit Wooyoung like a brick.

“Isn’t your break over?”

That motherfucker.

Wooyoung left Hajun before he could wipe his smug smirk with a punch.

Not that he could be mad that you were having sex. You were a consenting adult woman. But while on the clock? While training and practicing? How was that professional?

When he returned to the dance room you immediately rolled your eyes. The break was already over for a couple of minutes.

“Seriously what is your deal? You want to test my patience or what? Can’t you be on time once? This is so unbelievably unprofessional! We agreed to 15 minutes!”

“Seems that 15 minutes wasn’t enough for either of us,” he said barely a whisper trying to stay calm.

What did he just say? You were flabbergasted. Is he starting to finally talk back? What a horrible moment for that. And what even was that comment?

You decided to ignore it and just continue your practice from where it was left of.

Both of you were unprofessional. And both of you were blaming each other for it. You were blaming him for being such a pain in the ass and making you so frustrated, you couldn’t help but reach for Hajun. He was blaming you for being so mean and making him so nervous that he couldn’t function properly.

With every dance move, every touch he was exploding like fireworks. His shirt and sweatpants felt like paper. He was feeling every trail of your fingers on him as if you were following a gasoline path and igniting flames that were burning and consuming his being.

He was fine. He was fine. He was fine.

Just a tiny little boner.

Fuck.

He couldn’t ask for a break now. You were already pissed and he was sure you’d kill him (metaphorically or not) for daring to request to stop the practice so soon.

You were on fire too. Although making many mistakes, Wooyoung’s touch was so caressing every time. So soft. That you barely felt his contact through your shirt and sweatpants. As if feathers would gently kiss your skin, too afraid you may break.

You needed more.

He was laying down on his back. You were on top of him, trying to dance a new move that looked awfully much like dry humping him.

You are fine. Why are you so horny again? 

You are a professional. Which is why you continue rolling your hips. 

Dry humping is nothing. It’s driving you crazy. 

Not even when you feel him getting harder under you. You don’t want to stop. 

You are fine! You need to stop.

“Are you ok?” you ask.

“Huh?”

“You seem to have a small problem.” it was feeling anything but small. “Down there,” you deadpanned.

Wooyoung was mortified. How, why, and when. He was making sure he was subtly arranging himself in between moves when you were not looking.

You lowered yourself on your elbows, getting closer to his face, and staring into his eyes. 

Wooyoung immediately blushed, frozen in place. You could almost chuckle at his reaction. But you had to keep the appearances.

“Don’t worry, it’s a normal bodily reaction,” you whispered close enough for your noses to almost touch, “not many can resist.” you smirked.

You fucking smirked.

Wooyoung was so turned on he was certain he would’ve cummed in his pants if you wouldn’t have gotten off him and suggested to continue with a different move.

He was so embarrassed though. Not only he still had to deal with his boner. You were aware of it. And he was painfully aware you were. 

You were on your knees. For the move when he slides in between your legs. Until now, the easiest move and the least promiscuous. 

However, when he slid in between your legs this time, his head got stuck in your baggy sweatpants.

You couldn’t help but chuckle. Jesus fucking christ. You are mocking him again.

“So sorry. I think for this move i should take off the big pants. Don’t worry, I wear short leggings underneath.” you said winking.

Fucking winking. How much were you going to embarrass him today?

Your short gray leggings, more specifically booty short leggings, were thin and more or less you were wearing them as underwear. But Wooyoung didn’t need to know. It was your turn to mentally blush.

You were back on your knees and Wooyoung slid with no issues on the floor this time. Booty short leggings for the win!

“Wait, I want to check what I need to do with my left hand. I don’t want you fucking drop me.”

You bent over reaching for your tablet.

He could swear you were doing this on purpose. I mean how could you not, your crotch was not even 10 centimeters from his face. He was doing god’s work trying no to look. But he couldn’t help but notice the damp spot in between your legs. Which looked so goddamn delicious.

“Are you ok?” Wooyoung asked to which you didn’t pay much attention. “You seem to have a small problem.”

“What?” you asked, straightening yourself and looking down at him between your legs.

“Don’t worry, it’s a normal bodily reaction,” he whispered sultrily, getting closer to your core, “not many can resist.” He fucking smirked, making eye contact and immediately dragging his mouth over your damp spot. Payback time.

You stopped a gasp with your hand over your mouth.

Wooyoung continued licking your spot while maintaining eye contact. The look in his eyes being so different now, from the sloppy, careless, unreliable, spineless person from earlier.

You couldn’t believe you got so wet earlier. That he got you so wet. You admit he made you very aroused with that small dry humping session but that aroused? That you started to leak through your leggings? This will be the last time you don’t wear underwear!

With each lick you were getting wetter and wetter, and your leggings soaked with your arousal and his saliva, until the leggings became paper thin and you were feeling every flick of tongue.

Wooyoung was circling around your clit with lewd slurping sounds. 

The movement was making you crazy enough that you started gyrating over his tongue, making you want to moan. But you muffled the sounds with your hand over your mouth.

He was feeling so good.

Wooyoung grabbed your thighs, pulling them apart, which made you lower yourself on him even more. 

You could barely stand straight.

You were eaten out before, with no clothed barrier whatsoever. But like this, with your thin leggings sticking to your sensitive parts, soaking up your arousal and his saliva, with his tongue pushing harder and harder to make up for it? There was something about it that felt more sensual than any other oral session you received.

Wooyoung was enjoying this as much, if not even more, than you. Savouring every lick, every slurp, every drop. As if drinking sweet mead from the gods themselves. You were tasting as sweet as he ever dreamed. Not that he had dirty dreams about you. Or at least not that often. How could he not though? You were on his mind every day. And then you started to show the sexier version of you with the newer comebacks. And then he heard you moan on another dude’s dick in a storage room. How could he resist without imagining anything? With knowing how sweet you can sound. He wanted to hear you sound like that. Your sounds to be the anthem of his life. If only you could take that goddamn hand from your mouth and moan freely. 

You felt the familiar knot in your lower belly and clenched on nothing. You grabbed Wooyoung’s hair with your free hand to steady yourself. He gasped from the sudden pull of his hair. He didn’t expect it. You didn’t expect him to make such a delicious sound either. You wanted to hear more.

You continued rolling your hips with more confidence now, chasing your high. So close, so close. 

And then you exploded, feeling fireworks going off. You collapsed on your back on top of Wooyoung, gasping for air. What just happened?

Wooyoung swiftly got up and lowered himself on top of you. He was looking so hot with his face glistening from his sweat, saliva, and your arousal dripping on his chin. He licked his lips while watching you with dark eyes.

You couldn’t help but stare at his lips and tongue. Which just made you cum. 

“If you needed help, all you had to do was ask,” he grinned, a big shit-eating grin. The asshole.

You blushed the whole way home. You blushed the whole getting ready for bed routine. You blushed the whole time trying to fall asleep. You blushed the whole time scrolling on your phone trying to fall asleep. You blushed when you got a notification that your favourite poetry account just posted. You blushed looking at the picture - a steamed shower glass with a finger drawn heart. You blushed reading the caption - ‘your taste is the poison that kills me; your sounds are the hymn that bring me back to life.’ The universe was laughing in your face. part 2 | © 2024 gemini-stories All Rights Reserved.

[tabithatwo]

okay, it has been a HOT fucking second, but it's time for the rest of my jackie taylor is a lesbian and she knows it (or she at LEAST knows she likes women) thoughts for the pilot (this is a continuation, if you feel like this is abrupt click the link <3)

jackie trying to set shauna up with randy LISTEN she does it in SUCH a lesbian-minded way...like ah yes, a boy that can be an accessory and what if you dated randy and you wouldn't like him (i KNOW you wouldn't like him) and i kept dating jeff (i don't like him and don't you KNOW that i don't like him?) and then we could always insist on double dates and every time i have to go out with jeff, i'd actually be going out with you <3 <3

jackie is not even looking much at shauna's outfits when shauna turns to her for feedback and y'know why??? the existence of BOOB DRESS!!! the sheer lesbianism of that line continues to amaze me. shauna! just wear the dress i got you that makes your boobs look sooooo good pleasssse?? LIKE HELLO??

shauna gets frustrated which jackie clearly didn't expect, so what's she gonna do?? immediately make a joke <3 back off <3 try and make her smile <3 (sidebar idk how people read this scene as intensely mean and controlling jackie like i beg you to watch again, they're teenagers being teenagers, jackie unintentionally upsets shauna and shauna gets frustrated and jackie smooths it over and shauna chills out like that's the scene baby)

jackie being sooo happy that shauna is joking again (this is one of those times we see the smile/laugh that only shauna really gets out of her)

she's got her arm around jeff but her eyes on shauna for much of this scene and we get a completely different jackie here with jeff than we saw in the opening because she is PERFORMING! like this is the man she makes herself tolerate serving his purpose for real, such a young lesbian experience

okay that is ENOUGH of that man (truly three seconds with her arm around him, where her eyes were still on shauna not him), jackie hands jeff her drink and immediately reaches for shauna when she wants to dance

okay more performance yes, like she's clearly putting on a show here but also?? it is SOOOO obvious that little miss broody shauna is watching right now and jackie actually looks directly at her for good fucking measure, like she is very aware of shauna watching her and shauna's attention being on her. she does this AGAIN when she's desperate for shauna's love/attention/affection in doomcoming when she walks away with travis (to FUCK HIM IN SHAUNA'S BED)

the compliments scene? so fucking flirty, so fucking gay, so clear that this is their usual dynamic. like the level of baby dyke flirty love in the i dunno...you haven't said anything nice about me yet and all the little smiles and the ritual of it the you're my best friend as a stand in for i love you like we really don't get a ton of them precrash but the pilot establishes SO MUCH of their relationship prior to all the trauma so beautifully ughhh

jackie wanting to be dropped off first GOD THIS SCENE, it is so often taken as her being selfish for selfishness sake (or out of fear of her parents) but she also does NOT want to be left alone in the car with jeff!! we saw her discomfort with being sexual with him right away in the pilot, it was immediately established, he ignored every sign that she did NOT want him to be touching her. i don't know about you but this was a dance i did allll the time at that age!! the plotting to not be alone with the boyfriend!!

also her performative happiness with jeff EVAPORATES, like that is for public straightness perception, she does the minimum saying bye to that man and then she hugs shauna like its her goddamn job

jackie taylor queen of gay-zing tbh

y'know when your parents are terrifying but your girl got really anxious last time you flew somewhere so you steal your insane mother's valium for her??

but that's not enough so you have to GIVE HER THE HEART NECKLACE THAT YOU WEAR EVERY DAY AND SAY THERE NOTHING CAN TOUCH YOU NOW (because you have my heart, you have my love, jackie taylor ALSO queen of discomfort with saying i love you verbatim but saying it in a million other ways, this is a thought for another day but!! a heart!! that she wears!! next to her heart!! for the girl who has her heart!!)

of course she's also got to watch shauna put it on (gay-zingly) and did i need to include 10 screenshots of this moment to make my point?? MAYBE NOT but YOU'RE WELCOME cause LOOK AT THEM!!

more to come eventually <3 <3 this one was largely fun sweet precious honestly compared to the last and the ones to come, so yeah i really went wild with the photos <3 <3

[arisewanekosuki]

The dark clouds covered the sky, the waves were bigger and bigger because of the wind. You were going through the shore with a lantern in hand. To think how quickly the weather can change. Some hours ago you had a picnic on the beach, enjoying the sun and sounds of the peaceful ocean while reading.    You just realized that you don't have the necklace that your mother gifted you. It's really important to you. You searched your little house so you came to the conclusion that somehow you have lost it on the beach. "I hope the waves didn't reach the spot..." You were praying you'll be able to find it. 

When you started to get close to the place you had picnic before, you stopped moving. -"Is...someone singing?" You heard someone's voice. You started to look through the ocean, searching for the source of the singing. And then you spotted it...or more like him.  A boy with a veil on his head, sitting on a rock peeking out from the water. But he doesn't have legs, he has a beautiful, violet tail. -"A merman? Or a siren?" You whispered to yourself, unable to stop looking at the being that continued to sing.  It was so hypnotizing.  You tried to look away, to cover your ears, afraid that if the boy is a siren you'll end up drowning and get eaten. But you couldn't. What you just saw took your breath away. The sun's rays passed through the black clouds. One beam illuminated the boy's performance like he was singing for the whole world. You didn't even realize when the ocean became still. It was a beautiful sight. You closed your eyes enjoying the song, yet after a moment it became silent. You opened your eyes and you saw indigo blue ones looking at you. You hold your breath, not knowing what to do. Before you could do anything the boy vanished under the water. When you couldn't see him anymore you fell on the sand, like your legs lost strength. 

After a while you managed to get up, still shocked with what you witnessed. You wondered if it was all a dream, the sky was cleared from black clouds. It’s like the boy changed the weather. Not wanting to stay here any longer, you quickly searched for a necklace that you in the end couldn’t find.  With sadness of losing something so important you went back to your little house, not realizing someone was watching you with curiosity from the water. 

----- Sorry for any mistakes and thanks for reading! I still can't use my PC so decided to at least write some short idea I had for awhile. Tbh I may write second part later....but I can't promise! >.<

[tokoyamisstuff]

Could we get a fic where the reader is a simp for buggy? Like he overhears them

omg YES! sorry for the wait, I'm not quite satisfied with how it turned out but I still hope you'll enjoy. 💕

Synopsis: Is it just your imagination, or is your captain flirting with you?

Warnings: Tiny bit of insecure Buggy, but otherwise none.

Tags: GN! Reader, a bit of Misunderstanding, not proofread, Reader is downbad for the clown just like me tbh

"And for my next trick, I need a volunteer from the audience!"

The whole circus tent fell dead silent, all hostaged villagers facing the ground in hope not to be chosen. You sat among them, arms crossed in front of your chest and laid back on the chair as Buggy scanned the room.

Actually you had been ordered to keep an eye on your victims, but instead your gaze was permalocked on your captain - especially now that he had tossed away his coat.

Damn.

You bit your lip at the sight of Buggy's skin shimmering softly under the spotlight, highlighting how his muscles flexed as he confidently strode from row to row.

Oh, the things you'd to for him to take off some more clothes...

The clown came to a halt, clearly announcing something yet you were too caught up in some very impure fantasies to notice.

"What's wrong, Y/N? Stagefright?"

The prisoners insincere laugh started at your crewmate's sign, and you automatically went along with it, even though your mind was still currently stuck with adoring this trademark smile of his that made your knees weak even while sitting...

...wait- what the hell did he just say?!

"Y/N?" A severed hand floated in front of your face, waving frantically as it startled you out of your daydream. The man it belonged to followed shortly after, sounding almost worried. "You're alright over here?"

"I- uh, me?" you pointed to yourself with a puzzled expression, all flabbergasted at the situation you suddenly found yourself in. "Why me?"

"You'll see." Buggy winked and you already felt like fainting, dear god how were you supposed to assist him with anything when you couldn't even string together a whole sentence in his presence?

And yet the clown was stubbornly persistent in his demand.

When waving you over wouldn't suffice, he simply grabbed your wrist and practically dragged you from your seat and into the spotlight, his bright grin never faltering.

What shenanigan did he had in mind this time? And why would he want you of all people to help him out?

"A great applause for Y/N - tonight's top act!" You rose an eyebrow, knowing Buggy hated to share the spotlight, let alone give it to someone else...

...yet before you could end your pondering, Buggy took your hand as be bowed down to your height, kissing your knuckles as he looked up to you with an intense stare.

ShitshitshitshitshitSHIT!

Your mind went completely blank, stomach filling to the brim with metaphorical butterflies that made you wanna puke.

The act didn't even start and you already wanted the earth to swallow you before he'd become aware of the effect you had on him.

Buggy's eyes never left yours even when he spinned on his heels and strolling towards a giant wheel. "Our dear Y/N is a very skilled fighter, I'll have you know" he explained and you wondered what it was he wanted to imply...

...until he commanded two of the other performers to strap him to the wheel. "What kind of pirate would I be if I don't prove my fearlessness?"

Does he want you to do what you think he wants you to do? Is he for real?! Fuck, is he crazy? Of course he kinda is, you know him long enough to be sure of that - but does he have a deathwish or something?!

You were mentally debating whether to listen to your fight or flight instinct, however you decided to just walk up and confront him at least about the current matter.

"C-Captain, I can't-"

"Shh." A sole finger of his covered your lips to keep you from refusing. "This is gonna be great. I trust you with my life, sweetheart"

Your eyes widened for a split second as the nickname dropped from his mouth, but before you could make sense of it Buggy pointed somewhere to shoo you away. "The knives are on the barrel next to the entrance...

...Oh, and Y/N? Believe in yourself."

Gosh, hopefully people think you're sweating so much because of the headlights.

Maybe it is a test, you contemplated as you examined the blade in your hand, trying to get a good grip before starting the action. Not exactly a throwing knife, but it'll suffice.

Yeah, you haven't really been useful up until now, at least when it came to the circus.

Of course you worked as hard as everyone else and no one rushed you to find a talent you could show off in here, but sometimes it felt as if you were just not as special as the rest of the crew.

"They'll never understand your worth, Y/N - but I do."

Buggy's words echoed in your head, lifting up your spirits as you remembered the day your paths crossed. Like many of his crew you were an outcast, lonely and misunderstood - until he came along and reduced the town that abused you all those years into rubble and ashes.

Yes, he indeed saved you from a meaningless life. Gave you a home, a family, a purpose. And you'd do everything he'd ask of you to at least repay a fraction of this tremendous debt.

Buggy the Clown was your hero, your idol...

...and the man you had fallen head over heels for from the very start.

You took a deep breath, earning a proud nod of your superior as your stance became serious.

The first knive hit the right side of his forearm. Five more to go.

"C'mon, don't be so soft on me, love. I know you can go closer without doing any harm." Ugh. Your crush sometimes really made you forget how insufferable he can be.

Another, this time right between his legs. "Now that's more like it" he cackled, nervously adding "Be careful with that part, though. Still need it, if you know what I mean."

Would he shut up already instead of making you even more jittery?! Focus, Y/N, focus!

The remaining knives plunged into the wooden wheel easily. One by his foot, one next to his head, one right between his spead fingers.

Buggy wordlessly gesticulated as far as his restrained self could, and you immediately understood - you didn't like the suggestion, however.

Loud gasps mixed with horrified screams as your last blade had pierced his abdomen right in the middle...

...just for him to put himself together as if nothing happened, rushing to your side again through all the turmoil.

You nudged his side, unusually straightforwards for your standards. "I could've hurt you, killed even, idiot!" you scolded him quiet enough that only his ears would perceive.

"Childsplay" he whispered back, and only now you realized just how close his face was to yours. "I just needed to split myself in two before your knive would."

"How could you be so sure about it?"

"I'm an expert at human nature" he bragged cheekily, "And a great duo like us should know each other inside out, right?"

What? A duo, you and him?

Just a few minutes before you were certain that the captain was indifferent to your existence, asides from your function in his crew...

...if only you knew that your feelings for him were the complete opposite of onesided - Buggy was just way more discrete.

Out of a whim, Buggy kissed your cheek before twirling you around., presenting you to the audience one last time. "Another applause for Y/N, our new shining star!" he cheered along with your crewmates, squeezing your hand and bowing down together...

...only for you to flee the scene as soon as your captain released you.

The show went on for another few minutes, with Buggy unable to concentrate ever since you ran away before he could even react.

Of course your crewmates knew very well what was going on. Your not-so-secret crush was basically known amongst the whole team except for the man in question. But they had promised you to keep it to themselves - and honestly, they knew better than to involve themselves into their emotionally instable captain's private life.

After all deeds of the evening were done, the clown rushed backstage, ignoring the celebrating crew inviting him for drinks.

As if he could even think to enjoy himself before making sure you were alright!

"Did I do something wrong?" he still wondered, since all of his efforts were with only the utmost best intent. Maybe he went a little overboard, though.

"Calm down already, would you?" Buggy stopped in his tracks when he heared Cabaji's voice - out of your dressing room.

After he finally got so close to you tonight, this felt like a punch to the gut.

"How can I ever be calm again?!" you blurted out in response, and your captain couldn't help but eavesdrop what this is about.

"He kissed me" you continued, "I-I mean on the cheek, but that counts, right?" Dramatically throwing your hands into the air, you began frantically rubbing your still hot face. "I can never look at him again, ahh!"

Oh.

Guilt started creeping into his heart, alongside an ache that was all too familiar.

How could he have been so blind?

Of course you were just as repulsed and afraid of him as anyone else would. What was he thinking, kissing you just like that? It was the heat of the moment paired with months of unrequited longing, but nonetheless unexcusable.

He needs to apologize and make up for this, no matter how...

...but then, he heared Cabaji's answer.

"Wasn't this exactly what you wanted, though?" Your friend leaned against a wardrobe, half-irritatedly adding "Seriously, I can't listen to you vent about this little crush any longer. Just confess and get it over with, damnit!"

"Little? That's the understatement of the year!" you blurted out, grabbing the green man by the shoulders and shaking him softly. "I swear, this is getting out of hand. If the captain would ask me to suck him off while he's sitting on his throne, I'd gladly accept."

"Ugh, way too much detail" Cabaji shuddered, making you cackle with a bit of glee. "I'll never get this image out of my head."

"Can you blame me?" Without even being aware, your frown turned into a smile as soon as you began talking about Buggy. "The captain is so handsome. He's strong, talented, funny, and incredibly charming as well!"

"...if you're gonna start your usual dialogue, I'd rather leave" he retorted, already picking up and swinging onto his unicycle. "Want to join us, get a drink or something to cheer you up?"

"No, I'm fine dwelling in my self-made misery, thank you." Cabaji smirked at those words, patting your back as means of comfort befor exiting. "Dramaqueen. See you later!"

"Bye." You forced yourself to crack a smile for the man, nodding at him mutely as if to say "I'm gonna be okay."

However, it didn't take long after he left until another knock at your door made you jump.

"Forgot something?" you assumed it was Cabaji again, because who else could you expect while everyone else was partying right now?

No answer.

Sighing, you cocked your head to the direction oft the entrance, ready to cuss someone out...

...and ultimatively almost falling when you saw who was really lurking in the doorframe.

"C-Captain!" you almost yelled in shock, covering your mouth instantly afterwards, out of embarassment.

A smile tugged on the edge of Buggy's lips, his tone unusual gentle as he sheepishly let himself in. "The one and only."

"What-" you stumbled across every syllable, very awkwardly trying to act cool yet panicking on the inside. "Umm, what are you doing here? Drank too much and got lost again? Hahaha...oh god."

Your anxiety skyrocketed with every second passing that he failed to answer - instead chuckling softly at your cringeworthy joke.

"Nope" the clown finally answered, casually dropping down on the bench right next to you. "I'm exactly where I want to be."

"Wh-" Hesitating if you truly wanted to hear the answer, you took a deep breath to get at least a fraction of the composure he'd always, unknowingly, easily stole from you back. "Did you hear us talk?"

"Huh? No, why?" Buggy acted clueless to spare you the embarassment - but oh, if only you knew what thrill was boiling inside of him because of your earlier words. "Badmouthing your captain maybe?"

He winked and you felt yourself tremble in both excitement and relief. "Haha, never! We respect you way too much for that."

Yeah, you still have a chance to not fuck this up entirely!

"What else did you come here for, then?"

The pirate would look anywhere but your eyes, grabbing a random item from the shelf to fidget with, in order to calm then nerves. "Just wanted to congratulate you on the marvellous performance."

"Oh, most of it wasn't my work, right?" Not daring to look at him, you nervously rubbed the back of your head. "I-I mean I could only shine because your light shines so brightly"

Ohmygodwhatthehelldidyoujustsay?! This is the worst...

...or is it?

Stroking his ego like this is dangerous if you intended to keep your pants on tonight, or so he thought.

"My dear, I guarantee you: Together our star shines even brighter as the sun." Buggy would take both of your hands into his much bigger ones, his watercolor eyes scanning your face for any reaction. "As matter of fact, I want you to always be at my side from now on."

In the show, right? RIGHT?!

A chill ran down your spine when you felt Buggy's warm breath on your ear, his lips only inches away from yours. "What are you thinking about, love?"

Hellshitfuckohmygodisthisreallyhappening?!

"...you did hear us."

Even though he found your little pout adorable, Buggy couldn't help the outburst of laughter, seemingly enjoying your annoyance to the effect he had on you...

...well, it certainly fits his character. Asshole.

"Maybe so." A mixture of mischief and genuine joy was written on his face, managing to turn your frown into an almost-smile. "Would it be that bad?"

"Depends on-"

The man wouldn't even leave time to finish your answer before he pulled you into his lap, now grinning from ear to ear.

"You know, maybe it's time for a more private aftershow-party..."

[dresshistorynerd]

Borderline begging you to not erase the gender non conformity of historical women by applying contemporary lenses of gender roles to them. Gender non conforming women existed then and still exist now. Wearing “men’s clothing” does not make me less of a woman and it’s incredibly insulting to see people in 2024 call women “they” and “he” because they wrote extensively about the misogyny they faced on a daily basis and chose to address and protect against by disguising their female form. Clothing does not a gender make—social roles do. Let’s respect historical women by referring to them correctly—not assuming what they would like to be called these days when we have long since dismissed European invert theory.

I'm assuming you are referring to that historical binder post and specifically this part:

Westner was also buried in men's clothing by their own request.

Firstly, I didn't call Ella Westner "he", not sure why you are implying that. I haven't read much about Westner, but I did try to look quickly if we have any record or second hand information of them talking or writing about their gender. I didn't find it, so I don't know what would be the correct way to refer to them. I referred to them with "them" since that is the pronoun in English language when you don't know someone's gender. By all means if you have any evidence to share how they liked to be referred, do share.

This is for all intents and purposes the same ask I got after my Julie d'Aubigny post so I'm going to link my response here (and the answer to the follow up ask) instead of rehashing the same points all over again. But I will rehash couple of main points since it seems they bear repeating. Firstly, I'm not talking about you, you are not Elle Westner and you have just as little access to her mind as I do. I don't have to assume your gender, you said you're a woman, and certainly I believe nothing you do makes you less of a woman. But I can't ask Elle Westner can I? For most historical people, I think it's fair to assume their gender to be the one assigned to them, but if there is evidence that might suggest otherwise, we should not assume. Of course we should neither assume it's not their assigned gender, it's entirely possible it is, but the possibility should not be discarded that their gender is different.

It's a little silly tbh to say I'm erasing gender non-comforming historical women, when literally in the same paragraph I mention how it was quite common for queer *women* to dress in masculine clothing. This is literally what I wrote:

Queer women and trans masc people, who dressed in masculine clothing, (which was pretty common) also sometimes bound their chests, but unsurprisingly that was not exactly celebrated like drag performances were, so there weren't binders made for queer people specifically.

(I admit I didn't mention the "mannish" feminists, who dressed masculinely, but they rarely bound their chests, and like many of them were queer also.)

What I will not do (even if you borderline beg) is to erase trans masc and non-binary people from history. Assuming all historical queer and gnc people were their assigned gender without extensive evidence to the contrary (for some people no amount of evidence is ever enough) effectively erases all trans and non-binary people from history, since the way gender was talked about, understood and allowed to express, was often so different from our current understanding and usually erased from historical evidence. That is in fact imposing our understanding of gender to historical people. Yes some women did cross-dress in order to escape misogyny, but that's certainly not the only reason people cross-dressed. Especially since many of them, those who couldn't or didn't try to pass, faced even more misogyny for cross-dressing, but they did it anyway because they had other reasons to cross-dress. The reason why cross-dressing can be evidence of queer gender identity (though of course as said, there are other possible reasons) especially in 19th century, is because in their culture the understanding of gender was heavily tied to gender expression. Even today, when gender and gender expression are seem much more as separate things, if you see a person who looks like a woman, but is dressed in men's clothing, you shouldn't immediately dismiss the possibility that they might not be a woman. Yes, they might be a woman who for one reason or another likes to dress in masculine clothing, or they might not be.

You say I shouldn't "apply contemporary lenses of gender roles" to historical queer people, but also that I should in this historical context dismiss sexual inversion theory, which was specifically a Victorian lens (shrouded in scientific essentialist terms) to look at queerness. Sexual inversion theory is not biologically true of course, like it was proposed, but really none of our sexuality and gender categories are. Because while there probably is some biological explanations for our feelings of attraction and towards our bodies (which we haven't really found yet), how we built gender and sexuality categories around those feelings is entirely cultural. So while sexual inversion theory is not relevant today, it is still relevant to understand the historical context, since it was an attempt to explain scientifically their cultural construction of gender and sexuality. And of course the flaw with all these cultural categories is that they can not contain and represent the whole breath of human feelings, and will always leave people out in their explanations, which is obviously true with sexual inversion theory (but also for example our identity based model). But the societal understanding of these things also shape how we understand and frame our own feelings.

So briefly, in 19th century queer identities were emerging (not seen as just behavior anymore) and first queer communities were formed. In the texts of Victorian queer writers the understanding of sexuality, expression and gender are all very fluid. Edward Carpenter (a Victorian gay communist) notably wrote about "the intermediate sex" and "transitional men and women" which he understood as a sort of third gender category. Basically his understanding of queerness was conceptually similar to sexual inversion theory, but he came from a non-medicalizing and queer liberation angle (though like his writings were not entirely free of internalized queerphobia but still very revolutionary for his time). He wrote about this third gender category as a sort of spectrum that goes from feminine men interested in men, and masculine women interested in women, to cross-dressing people and people living as opposite gender. Today we might see these ends of the spectrum as more or less gnc gay men and women and trans men and women, which to him were more or less extreme expressions of the same phenomena. This also aligns with broader Victorian understanding of gender and sexuality, as gnc queer people were generally seen as a separate gender category, often, especially in case of queer men and trans fems, called fairies. As said, certainly not all Victorian queer people would have agreed or felt represented by these ideas, but this does give us some understanding how at least some of the queer and gnc people might have understood their gender.

Maybe I will need to make a full post about how I think gender should be handled and studied in history, so I can just link it to when I inevitably get yet another one of these.