#tbh i couldve done better this kinda sucks

[bella-with-a-blog]

meh.

[mbat]

giving up on the hunt event with 77 lol

i could be a weirdo and try to do the last 23 i need in this last 7 hours but im very tired and the ones ive been avoiding are the ones i already know would suck anyway. i only found out about this event with like a week left and i kept doing other things irl anyway

the event is generally very underwhelming and disappointing, nothing about it says easter, not the branding or the colors or almost any of the missions. some of the games kinda got the idea with making you collect eggs or bunnies but they still felt weirdly empty about it, probably because they were clearly just slapped into a pre-existing game and not much else was done.

truly the egg hunts imo peaked at 2017-2018, though i never got to experience the earliest ones so i cant speak on those

most of the games kinda sucked, though some were pretty good. tbh im just glad i had an excuse to play 3008 again, it was the last one i did because i knew id like it lol

am i the only one who sees someone do a bad job on something and it makes you want to do it yourself because you think you could do better, even if you otherwise dont care about the subject? i know i definitely couldnt and yet the urge is still there

i just continue to feel disappointed by roblox these last few years, i only got to experience better days on the website for 4-5 years out of my 13 years, but it sticks out so much more to me because it was better. the moment they removed tix was the beginning of the end, it was such a blatant insult to anyone who isnt willing to pour real money into this game for whatever reasons apply. they couldve tried to change the tix system instead of removing it, if they had to change it at all, but whatever

tl;dr, UGH.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[stanharu]

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

[synge-street]

havent seen too many people say this so im just gonna put it out there,,,the first miracle workers episode was Not great

it’s not due to casting nor plot, not anything like that. what they’ve fucked up is the Pace

so miracle workers is about this girl who starts working in the department of answered prayers with daniel radcliffe and then she meets god and then she makes a bet and then the earth is fucked up unless something special happens

the problem is that we find out about all of this in the first episode. which sucks! we meet nadia (i think thats her name idk tbh) at a department transfer request and we learn absolutely nothing about her in the first episode! at all lmao! and like, if we compare her to the other protagonist in the other Godly type show, the good place, we can point out how, in the same time span for the pilot, we find out way more about eleanor and barely anything about nadia

the good place is a great show that uses actually well done pacing to develop both characters and plot in the same time span. for example, in the first episode we find out that not only eleanor shouldn’t be there, but that she wasn’t a great person on earth (especially compared to good eleanor), that she’s funny, and that she has so many different character traits that make her relatable and human

in miracle workers, with nadia, all we learn about her is that she’s bored and is ambitious. we get a hint that she might be kinda relatable but who knows?? that was a 3 second shot of her happy dancing! and we also get a sense that her character isn’t extremely well written. at the beginning of the episode, she cares Extremely about Everything human, but by the end, she’s putting the news on mute after accidentally causing a murder rampage.

and that’s just one of the things that bothered me. but the main thing is Still plot. because all of the events that happened in one episode could have been Completely stretched out.

instead of a two minute scene from where nadia starts working to where she meets god, we could have had more interaction between her and daniel radcliffe, and more explanations as to How they answer prayers. that could have been half an episode

and then when she answers her first big prayer and accidentally causes a typhoon and flooding? that could have been a whole different episode (it couldve even dived in to the importance and effects of our actions!! which is always an interesting topic to portray!!)

and then we could have had some development with daniel radcliffe’s character through those interactions! we could have had him grown through multiple episodes after seeing the world through new, more hopeful, eyes (and an episode(s) like that coulda touched upon individualism and whether or not its worth it to have hope)

the whole episode could have genuinely taken at least half a season in developing and would have felt better paced and done if they just took their time !!!!!

anyways @ miracle workers writers pls hire me ill help you out

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

I am extremely curious how dumb this loser has acted this time if your whole fam is like >>>>>>>>

BRUH IT IS TEA TIME

and upfront as i said in the tags, this isn’t super hot scalding tea like the time he cheated, but just dumbfuckery and him not wanting to learn while also being an ass. so yeah no biggie just idioticy but like.... i also hate his guts so lmao so i mentally make it all worse in my head cause i hate him

so my sister and bf work together cause he is kinda creepy and keeps switching jobs when she switches jobs so that he can work with her btw did i tell you he is very controlling and obsessive about her whereabouts he even called my mum once when he couldnt find her on the tracking app that he wanted her to have on her phone ANYWAY also working as a waiter at the same restaurant

and disclaimer: working as a waiter or not having the highest grades do not make you dumb. sheer and utter incompetence to grasp that you’re an idiot and not wanting to improve makes you dumb. he’s the latter.

also context: my entire family has worked in wait staff

BASICALLY he absolutely fucking sucks at his job up till the point where my sister can’t handle working with him and again, it’s his first time waiting tables so he can learn BUT THIS BITCH has the audacity to command my sister all the time and boss her around when my sister points out that he sucks

and we all go: “this is kinda rude and unreal, cause he has no business acting so bossy when he doesn’t even put any effort in his work”

sis: “yeah but he is just trying to be kind he doesn’t want to be bossy or rude”

us: “.... GIRL if he can’t wait tables that is fine but when you call him out on it or want to help him, he gotta know that you know better”

and tbh my entire fam is just like... HOW can she not see this? like, she talks about the crappy stuff he does at work (like rudely yelling from 2 metres apart to guests: “yo, you guys done? want the receipt?” when my sister asks him to ask if guests want the receipt) and she keeps asking for confirmation that she’s not bad for thinking he’s bad at his job (“you guys think that’s weird too, right? i mean, you shouldn’t do that, right? so you say it’s rude, okay, right? i am not wrong in feeling uncomfortable and embarrased, right?”)

so we confirm that it is just bad manners but that he can learn like we all did, since waiting tables is a skill (which, as you read, he puts no effort in), but she still just.... idk... i sometimes thinks she doesn’t want to admit that he is just not the perfect guy that she wants him to be. and she knows that he isn’t perfect. one thing that i GENUINELY admire from my sister is that she does not put up with all the crap he pulls (altho... i also dont understand why they just haven’t broken up yet like when will she SNAP). but yeah, she immediately jumps into his defense and i just think that it’s shitty. she knows he’s being unnecessarily rude and that she knows better. we confirm that multiple times. and then she immediately goes “oh but no he isn’t commanding he’s just- he doesn’t know better”

... babe

also since this guys is so unnecessarily obsessive about my sister’s behaviour and he continuously criticises her for little things she likes, i also just cant fucking stand him having the sheer audacity to act controlling and commanding over this. but he’s also a fucking cunt so i couldve seen it coming so me being surprised is on me i guess

basically i felt my braincells diE  every time my sister talked about how bad he is at his job and AGAIN it’s a skill that you can learn and i can imagine that he just never was in that environment before but just the lack of motivation to even try to learn is YIKES to me, especially since my sister is the most driven person ever. she works hard for things she wants. she flaunts her knowledge. i mean do i think she’s stupid for taking him back in the first place, yeah, but apart from that i cannot emphasise how competent she is

but this relationship just also brings out the worst in my sister and the gap in competence makes it worse and worse

WHICH LEADS TO PART 2

his sorry ass hasn’t finished high school after failing several times and AGAIN that does not make a person less valuable (academic pretention is yikes), but he doesn’t even try and basically me and the fam believe he is straight up lying now cause he was supposed to hear if he has finally graduated around a month ago

my sis: “oh, he said he hasn’t gotten results yet”

us: “.... you know that all high schools are closed since the year has ended and that summer vacation started 1 week ago and that the test happened more than a month ago”

my sis: “YEAH but there’s less strictness and more extensions due to corona”

me: “yeah true but i just did a 5 second google search and even the extended deadline is over”

fam: “has he at least applied for further education??”

sis: “well no but he says he still has time”

me: “YEAH and ANOTHER 5 second google search showed that that extended deadline ended 2.5 months ago”

AND AGAIN your scholary achievements do not make you any less value bla bla bla, but he had A WHOLE DAMN YEAR to do one subject and even my sister said that it’s super easy and she doesnt get why he hasn’t passed it, but he just did nothing and he knows that my sister finds it very important that he can at least do something cause again she’s super driven and it makes her feel bad of her achievements

which is a RED FLAG. you know, women having to tone down their achievements in order to not outshine men’s fragility cause they don’t want a woman to be better than them

but i think she just realised that he’d been lying and yeah we all felt kinda bad for her, cause she doesn’t deserve that. she left and me and my parents just looked at each other like “would he lie about something so big?”

all of us collectively: “YEAH”

... i mean, he lied about cheating

i just for once want him to stop lying with his hypocritical ass. this bitch lies all the damn time but the moment he finds out my sister called a boy a year ago before they were dating, he needs to hear EVERYTHING (lol about that one time he tried to expose my sister for talking to a guy regularly even before they were dating.... it was our cousin Bobbie). so yeah he needs to know everything or he gets super weird but he can lie about shit like this (and cheating cause truly i wont be surprised if he’s done it again tbh)

and ugh this is a messy reply but just.... 

I FIND HIM SO STUPID FOR THIS and i feel so bad for my sister cause i can imagine that it’s not nice for her to hear all of this either, but FACE IT, this dude hasn’t tried to do shit for a year and now he’s lying and it just makes me so damn mad and she needs to hear it

i feel like this isn’t even the worst thing he’s done cause not knowing how to wait tables does not make you a bad human being, but this relationship is so incredibly unhealthy and toxic that ive reached a point that i am even worried for his well-being (and i FUCKING HATE HIS GUTS). this relation makes both of them so vile and it shows their worst and toxic sides, and i know my sister only does it to show him how unhealthy his behaviour is, but come on COME ON one day she’s gonna snap/

so these things just make it all worse for them in the bigger picture and either he gotta clear up his act or they just gotta break the fuck up

since i have no hope in the first possibility, im gonna join my grandma in praying for the second one

and that’s why we’re all like >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 1 | Part.2 “GET YOUR BOTTLES OUT YOUR BONGS YOUR CRACK” - Adam

GET YOUR BOTTLES OUT YOUR BONGS YOUR CRACK WHATEVER YOU WANNA CELEBRATE WITH GORLS BECAUSE WE DID IT!!! I've offically conquered my biggest fear of playing in any of these games for the third time in a row, i will NOT be the first boot! I also am keeping my own lil personal record of never having to go to the first tribal council of the season which is wig, although idk lmao i kinda wanted to go to tribal just because im gonna be honest, i want to PLAY the game. Right now everyone is still kinda in that annoying honeymoon woohoo go team phase, which granted I do want us to keep up for the numbers, but ... im bored. im trying my best to keep up and be in the social circle but i swear actually talking to other people is probably one of the hardest things for me, especially the whole call culture thing like oh gorl i dont even like talking to my grandma on the phone, like im all for group calls but when people message me wanting to do 1 on 1 calls? uh.... my commitment issues jumped out. I hope that doesnt hinder me in the game because im really trying my best with what ive got to make friends and hope people just dont hate me and wanna vote me out, but i still feel like im not doing enough. Maybe im just being hard on myself, ive been having good convos with AJ, Augusto, and Amir, kinda Austin too, but then i feel bad I haven't connected as much with Connor or Kendall, but i do enjoy them on the tribe. My strategy now is gonna be to just work on my social game since we wont have to go to tribal, maybe tone down my dying urge to just wanna strategize, especially because my first time i played i spent too much time talking game and not enough getting to know the people and it ultimately cost me in the end. But i'm also concerned no one is talking game with me really but amir and aj so like.... i literally STILL have no idea how half these people feel about each other from a game perspective, which is okay i guess ,ill be patient, keep my fake smile on and haha hehe'ing with everyone, but just know i have my knife in my boot and im READY to whip it out whenever. But not tonight, we did good, so now i can focus my energy back on this DAMN TOMB. see yall at 2:29 am on the dot!

YAY. I get to enjoy my first day off EVER in tumblr survivor. im so so happy even though i definitely overdid it in this comp and got too much attention on me but... whew. just gotta wriggle my way back under the radar now

So, I’m actually not surprised that we lost. I had a gut feeling that we were going to lose just based off of everyone’s activity and performance in the challenge. First tribal always sucks because no one wants to be the first person voted out. Luckily, I don’t think it’ll be me just because I think I have solid connections with everyone. Devon and I had another call where he told me I was his number one ally in the game. Isaac also told me that he and Trace want to both work with me. And I’m also in the DADS-R-US alliance with Autumn/Duncan/Devon. I have connections with almost everyone on the tribe, so I hope that after this tribal we don’t lose another challenge cause then that’s where things are going to be tricky. For this vote, I think it would be best for Bodhi to leave. He gave the worst score for the challenge, not to mention I really haven’t communicated with him much. From conversations that I’ve had with Devon, Isaac, and Trace, they also seem like they are on board with Bodhi. Now the next part is just to convince Autumn and Duncan to vote out Bodhi too. If it’s unanimous, it’ll show that our tribe is more united going forward. I think that’s the easy vote going forward, mainly because I think I have solid connections with everyone else on the tribe so I would hate to ruin those connections going into a swap. I have the DADS-R-US Alliance with Autumn, Devon, & Duncan. I like all of them so I’m glad it’s a thing. I feel like I vibe with all of them and it really solidifies that there’s a majority within the tribe. I do feel bad that Isaac and Trace aren’t in it, just because they’re definitely down to earth people. I can see Trace being a threat long term, so I mainly feel bad that Isaac isn’t included. I like the DADS Alliance, the only concern I might have is that Autumn/Duncan seem to be close so that’s something I need to look out for. Devon says I’m his number 1, but I kind of get the vibe that he might betray me around mid-merge just because it seems like he’s trying to play a big UTR game. So that’s something else I want to think about in the back of my mind. Overall, I feel like everything else is self-explanatory. I feel like after the first night, people just kind of got quieter and quieter. I’m hoping that everyone will be on board with voting out Bodhi and that I don’t end up being #blindsided at the first tribal. Cause that would be awful.

Night number 3, ive done my research, studied up on my questions, i basically AM an egyptian now, only for me to get my ass back on the path to the tomb for the 3rd time, only to get all the questions right and see the pedestal is EMPTY. Meaning there's a few scenarios that couldve happened. Clearly I was too slow, and my honest hunch is someone found this damn thing night one, no one has said anything to me, and i feel like ive had decent conversations with the people i semi trust? My first instinct says it could be amir because me and him were both going non STOP on looking for that idol night 1 and then he never mentioned it to me again, which granted i didnt say shit to him when i found it so touche on that one, hopefully he has it and just doesnt want to tell anyone which i wouldnt mind, or aj could have it which i really would hope he doesnt and is lying to me about it because clearly that would be bad because itd make me think he wants to use it against me, but i dont think aj has it. Everyone else is a wildcard, I wouldnt be surprised a bit if connor or kendall have it, there's a reason to me why everyone could have it so im not gonna let it drive me crazy, clearly im just not in the know about it with whoever has got it and thats JUST fine and dandy.... I know how to play this game with or without idols in my possession, whoever has it might have a bit of a head start on me, but trust and believe it's only day 3 the shenanigans have just begun dahling. Now that just means I have to REALLY be on my A game, it'll be a bit of a tricky challenge navigating around the idol, especially in a tribe of 7, but much like everything else in my life, im gonna suck it up and make it work, so whoever you are that's got it, you better beware of me! Because now I know you got it! And if I got a lead that's all I need to cause some chaos, in fact I think im gonna go do that now, I wanna talk to everyone who might not have found the way to the tomb yet and let them know someone got it already, create some paranoia and maybe make sure the target isn't on my back but we'll see, like i said when i get bored i get creative

okay so i'm already really anxious KJLASDF. i really am mad at myself for getting the highest score in the challenge, that was so stupid. next challenge i somehow have to wriggle my way backwards, because being a winner with the highest score? what was i thinking that was suchhhh clownery ugh. well. i need to tone it down 100%

Deep down, I almost prefer losing the first competition for two reasons: 1. You can weed out the weakest member of your tribe (almost like cutting the fat off the meat) 2. You are able to test tribe loyalty from the start. If you win a bunch of comps and go into a swap with numbers, that's great, but you will always be itching to actually play the game. Those without tested loyalty will have a hard time adjusting against those that have been forced to play already. In terms of the vote, it sounds like everyone wants to take it easy and vote out Bodhi. That is fine, but I'm not thrilled about it. I feel like Isaac would have made a better first boot considering his messages are somewhat dry and he has more connections across the current cast. However, it doesn't make sense to cause a rift right now. Pending an idol play, this should be a remotely easy round for the tribe. -Slithers-

cast assessment: the brawn tribe is losers. who the fuck wins a challenge lol. fucking losers.

but i like ali and im excited to play with jordan pines. the beauty tribe is FULL of former allies of mine. Augusto, Connor, Amir, AJ, and whoever else? they're all people i've worked with (maybe aside from aj i dont remember tbh). So far I'd say im alligned with everyone on my tribe to an extent. Isaac and I have a night one alliance, but I think I have to cut him this round... Fuck. I love Autumn and Duncan, and I like Devon and Scott. Trace I'm indifferent to, and I'd be happy to see him go, but idgaf if he stays. Right now im trying to find the idol with isaac, while im not telling isaac that he's gone if he doesn't find it and play it. Ideal scenario: isaac finds the idol and we idol out trace 6-1 ( i want to protect myself from being seen as helping isaac).

Bodhi is driving me insane. First he blows the challenge and now he's like gone on a mad dash to get into the Tomb, which is probably boobie trapped to hell btw. I'm just kinda over him being here like he pulls me aside Day One and tells me he wants to work with me and then I hear from Trace that not only is Bodhi writing my name down but thinks everyone else is going along with it. I hope Bodhi doesn't have the idol; but in the event he does I'm thinking about throwing a vote on someone else to make it a 5-1-1 as a contingency. Bodhi if you read this I'm sorry buddy that you might be a 2 time first boot but I can't help you and I don't think I really want to. I'm just praying I survive this round.

I have not been the best in explaining myself in these confessionals huh… but let’s do a recap for y’all <3

Day 1 went by super fast but the good thing about my social game is that I do make a good first impression on people and I think that ultimately helped me get my footing so far? Within the first hour or so of talking to Kendall, she suggested we become an alliance. At first I was taken aback like MA’AM you don’t know me like that… but I of course said yes because why deny an alliance yknow? I do like Kendall though, so it was nice that she quickly decided she wanted to join forces in the game. Connor and I reconnected from our time in Socotra and we were dropping hints of protecting one another in this game, which was nice. Amir and I clicked INSTANTLY like it was insane how well we meshed together yknow? I would consider him my #1 ally so far and I know for a fact the feeling is reciprocated but I do wanna keep an eye out for him because he’s gonna be incredibly dangerous in this game. Adam and I also clicked super quickly due to our love of skinny legendt herself Mariah Carey and we are basically the same person. Austin and I did talk for a bit over our love of similar stuff which was cute. I had the hardest time clicking with AJ. Overall, I had 2 solidified partnerships, 1 unknown partnership, and then a good vibe with mostly everyone else. Day 2 was big to say the least! Amir had let me know that he was the closest to me and Adam during the beginning of the day. He later mentioned Kendall once the alliance was made. So for me, Amir’s connections are me > Kendall > Adam > Connor > Austin/AJ. Adam had told me that I was one of his faves to talk to so yay for that. Austin had also told me that I and Kendall were his faves to talk to. So… here I am thinking that I am doing THAT in the game ngl and then Connor asks me “lowkey like we’re gonna work together right” which I already assumed but said ofc. He then told me Kendall wanted to make an alliance with us two, herself, and Amir. I am totally for this as my 3 close personal alliances basically combine into one alliance which is nice. That being said, the others were trying to think of a fake 5th member to add and it’s a little early to quickly add one person to it. We need more time to feel people out and whatnot, but it did seem interesting that Amir suggested Adam and Kendall suggested Austin given what both had told me way earlier in the day. I would prefer Adam personally as I do feel like currently, Kendall is the most connected and strongest socially in the game just based on my observations. I’d love to think I am a close second but I could be delusional, I tend to be. But yeah, I’m finally in a majority alliance which is cute. And that’s what you missed on Glee <3

When I tell you that I am SHOOK that I didn’t lose this challenge like… I was expecting to lose ngl so yay for that! Especially since I was one of the top scorers on this challenge… I just hope that excuses my flopping on whatever flash game we get gbhvcnxm but yeah, the thot tribe lost and Bodhi… did so bad like SIR. It is very safe to say he could leave and that makes me sad because I wanted to reunite with him and do some potential damage. I do hope he made an alliance pretty early because Bodhi is honestly a very nice person so yeah. This tribe got told they won the challenge and disappeared like all I hear is crickets nnnn which kinda sucks but oh well. The shitty thing about me as a player is that I sometimes need a lot of reassurance so I just want these people to hit me up first and see what’s up. We shall see what transpires luv xx

The biggest headache of the season (aside from me) is the idol system like I may only have half a brain cell but I’m exerting all its power on trying to find this thing. The clue said to look around and I’ve looked all over the blog and NOTHING like… I do not know what else I could do and it’s driving me absolutely mad luv xx (‘: not that advantages do me any good ever but I just wanna figure it out ;-;

i’m me finding the link to the tomb right after submitting that confessional is a MOOD. k so i put the link in and sent it to the hosts, they told me that “Unfortunately, you have not entered the Tomb” and after that, the picture I saw had disappeared. So now I’m thrown in for a loop (is that even the correct term? ghfdjsk) because I think that the link/pic is only there at certain times and the first person to find it gains access? It is my theory and i’m sticking to it ofc but now what do I do with this information? I think I will sit on it until I gain access to the Tomb for the first time and then we shall see what happens.

God, I cannot believe we literally got our asses HANDED to us by the other tribes. I actually put a good amount of effort into this challenge so it was a bummer to see that not everybody could hold their weight. But actions have consequences so I guess it makes sense why we're here at tribal council. I really do like all of my tribe mates! There is not a single person on this tribe that I don't want to work with, which makes this whole thing very complicated. Right out of the gate, people were talking about voting Bodhi because of his HORRIBLE performance in the challenge. He came to me right away, calling himself an idiot and hoping I would pity him? I don't tbh, he fucked up and there is no fixing it. I am just kinda pissed because like I understand the concept of procrastination, but we literally had two days to do it and he submitted what, 5 things? Like get a fucking grip idk. So I want him out. It's not a fixable problem for him. I trust Isaac quite a bit. He is def my closest ally at this point. I also really like Scott, even though he fucking ruined me in Maluku. Duncan would be my 3rd. I proposed to them to create a group, and we did. I am hoping that this 4 will help me survive at least a few more pre-swap tribals, but I also feel relatively close to Autumn and Devon too, so really it could swing any way that we want to if Isaac and I are in trouble. Bodhi claims that 6 people are voting for Isaac. I could be that oblivious, but I think that Bodhi is going to get blindsided tonight, which is awkward because how could he not see it coming? Idk, the kid has got some blind ambition lmao. Let us just hope that Isaac and I survive tonight's tribal and then can really this misfit tribe to win a goddamn challenge.

So after my last confessional, the DADS alliance got on call and lowkey there was actual contemplation on whether or not we should vote out Isaac instead of Bodhi? This video below describes me in that moment

So I'm trying to subtlety tell the DADs that I think Bodhi should go over Trace and Autumns the only one that agrees with me on this. Duncan and Devon are like "no we should keep him and get rid of Isaac" and I really didn't want to do that but at the same time didn't want to seem like a dictator. So I told them I'd vote out Isaac if they felt comfortable with that. We couldn't really agree so we decide to sleep on it and reconvene tomorrow. 

Tomorrow comes around and Devon tells me he still wants Isaac out over Bodhi. I'm like "bruh seriously?" so I try to tell him my reasons for wanting Bodhi out but also tell him if he/the group want to do Isaac then I'm down for that. So we wait for Autumn and Duncan and when I get on the call they're telling me they're leaning towards Bodhi which has me happy cause it was what I wanted to do to begin with and I didn't need to make my arguments. We love having great minds that think alike. The big takeaway from this is that Devon is definitely lowkey shady since he was all about Isaac leaving before the call and then suddenly had a change of heart. Anyways, I reach out to Trace and I'm like "oh we're good with Bodhi right? and he purposes an alliance of the two of us, Isaac, and Duncan. Which has me thinking, this could work. I can have Trace and Isaac think they're in the majority alliance to ensure none of them play an idol if we lose. OR, maybe I could use them to get Devon out? So I tell Duncan that Trace wants to have an alliance with us and Isaac and he's all for it. We like being the Kim Spradlin of the season. But then things get shady because Trace tells Duncan and Isaac that I MYSELF purposed the alliance which is not the case. So now I'm on edge with Trace because he wants to build me up as the threat. So if we do lose, I also wouldn't mind voting out Trace and explaining to Isaac that Trace was spreading lies about me which I didn't feel comfortable with so that the alliance of Duncan/Isaac/I could vote out Devon should we continue a losing streak? The only thing I do know is that Bodhi is leaving tonight. Bodhi, if you're reading this I'm sorry for voting you out. You're a cool dude, and I feel bad for not talking to you much until you left. Also I'm sorry for not talking to you about the vote at all today, I feel bad lying plus I was lowkey busy with school work that I procrastinated and finals prep. The only thing I need to do now is figure out how the hell i get into the tomb?

okay so i'm not actually going to tribal but gotta make it all about me and do a round wrap-up? i'm already feeling like this might be my last game i forgot the stress of games. the main thing in this game is that i really like jake? he is SO much fun and i manifested from preseason that i would like him and it happened (i haven't told him i figured out he was cast preseason that feels like it would be too creepy), but i'm just happy i manifested him as a really fun ally and it came true!! i really like him and jordan. also my tribe is scaring me i feel like they want me out and me having an idol does not help with my neurotic panic nnn. for guessing who is gonna go home, i really hope autumn and isaac are safe, duncan too!! i kinda assume it'll be bodhi or devon just because they didn't do too hot in the challenge but we will see for sure

https://youtu.be/LPplZtIK9KM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7EpyCcQVcM&feature=youtu.be

[haeroniel-doliet]

whoo boy i wanna talk again. besides what is my blog besides me reblogging sometimes pretty things and then sending out rambly self reflections to my 200 odd followers. ah yes. validation of venting to someone without burdening anyone. and maybe i think clearer when ive gotten a budding emotion out of my system. today im sappy about my graduation and how nice it was ;/ 

yes oh man the read more; love it. anyway ive had this bud up sometimes and i do like it but i dont get it out so im trying now to get out this feeling bc i dont function with held in feelings v well. 

this summer (2017. wow its not this year anymore) was emotional as hell for me, like, finishing school p shittily, traveling on my own (to family members and friends and to france?) and then being so in between with ib over and i knew i did badly and nobody believing me to when my results came and joy fell v quickly to tears. bc even though i surpassed my expectations in most of my subjects, my two most important ones ofc where two whole grades lower than they shouldve been. and i cried bc it meant to me i didnt get into university. i was bugged to call a uni who bluntly turned me down obviously, and i cried some more. struggling to sort out my social security being 18 and not in parents care apparently and difficult to explain why the fuck im abroad if i dont have a job or education going on. making plans to move to my brothers apartment to work and study and retake my exams from finland and take a forced gap year. 

bc of this i was so deflated for planning my stupid graduation bc feeling like a failure is not something to celebrate. id decided years ago my graduation was going to be important. bc graduation pictures are whet live on my grandparents walls and my parents house for years to come. i of course must have a beautiful flattering dress and the finnish grad cap (i didnt officially earn but hush) and to just be best me bc it’d make up for my shitty confirmation and might be the last time im celebrated by family. (ps my confirmation dress was a horrid lime strapless dress that makes me look naked in pictures where the flower bunch hid the top of the dress *shiver*. as well as being a sad 15 yr old who couldnt handle events being abt me and made it suck) and im not planning on getting married soon if ever. (joking to my dad its the last time hell see me in a white dress) but anyway, my brothers was a big ol deal bc he was the first of our gen to graduate, my cousins had a bit more casual things bc they are more casual and didnt think its such a big deal. which is maybe true. but for me. whoo boy. if theres gonna be one thing im gonna be celebrating i thought itd be my graduation and earning my god damn grad cap to be one of the adults. 

so anyway my whole situation is god damn peculiar being an international raised kid. i ofc went to ib highschool in london, “graduated” the same day as my last exam bc people needed to fly home the next day. graduate knowing nothing of your results or the future and with the fringe of impending failure over you. didnt even get properly drunk. never have been so i guess thats on me. no. thats another rant. anyway. all my 10 other classmates and i goodbye poof. no togetherness and fairwell thats it. we were kinda done (all but for my few good friends) so results day we message a lil into the group chat and then stop. we were not involved in each others graduation celebrations, not sure if some had any. in finland you do your exams, get your results then graduate all together get your hats and everyone has parties in the next few days so yea its party season. not for me. we celebrated late ish summer. (timed to my dads 50th so that i could have a little less spotlight and less pressure) and god everythings a blur and i dont wanna do invitations i dont wanna plan games to make it fun i dont wanna think of decorations or graduation presents or food bc UGH im a failure and nope. maybe in a better time i couldve. but parents plan food and get a venue (my request; nature and in finland bc like hell im dragging my grandparents to london or anyone else) and it is a military recreation spot but the by the sea and theres like nobody else so 8/10 . and i was hoping maybe they pull together entertainment like the way i made a quiz all about my brother for his graduation and hosted it. well. nah. they did try, a short quiz i helped make bc nobody knows me, my mom made a map game and ill get to the rest later. and the dress. bc it had to be good it just had to be. but like fuck do i want to go dress shopping. all i knew it had to be long (bc hello ugly legs) and with straps bc no more fake nakey. and tbh. the good stuff start happening when i only have to go to like one shop. my mom was there before hand, we try a few, and then damn. heres a flowy maxi dress. its a bit tight but super flattering (ended up getting larger one which was not as flattering but more comfortable) and my moms almost crying and she ends up buying it anyway  which im thankful for bc i found nothing that tops it. 

here it is btw, i have no clue if pics will stay under read more so i hope so but hahhah lucky yall

i know my face is  so attractive as is my posture but shhh were here for the dress right. also my uncle did actual photography bc hes an actual professional photographer but hes also depressed and doing it for free so havent seen those yet and just waiting patiently hopefully ill look tons more attractive in them. 

anyway were starting to get to the sappy part. so everyone says my dress is wonderful and gorgeous and everything right? and i genuinely agree i looked like the finnish maiden in blue and white and it suited the hat so well (pictured too) and i was so glad that was the dress, and that the world is so green behind me. things couldbe better but this was good. really good. people were dressed casual dressy with flowers featuered bc they know me that much and almost only people who i know and love were there. 

and i mean by this my cousin whos pretty much like a big sister to me <3 and helps me get my makeup right and my hair when moms too busy, my ‘auntie’ the only person i’d elevate to the honorary status not in the family, one of my moms highschool friends who came to my life in the past to years and is the most inspiring and spirited person i’ve ever met who treats me like an equal but is so passionate and caring and i can only dream to be like her, single, badass as fuck and confident in myself when i get older. (i admire her so much and it made me so incredibly happy that she was there and could come when most eveyone else is just my parents friend or family) then theres ofc my parents friends who have become close to all of us bc theyve been friends since before even my older brother was born. ive seen them more than some uncles and extended family tbh. and though theyre more mature and obviously my parents friends (while my ‘auntie’ is my moms friend and mine) and theyre hilarious supportive people who im so glad to see always, even if my own god parents couldnt make it (were in spirit and my godfather now messages me for christmas and new years to wish good luck and god im surrounded by supportive people my life is luckier than youd think) 

im not always close to the rest of my family, bc rather than being fully finnish like all them, ive grown up so international im a bit detached and its a lil sad but i know they dont mind so much and just like seeing me, i.e. my grandparents and great aunts and etc.(and ofc, dads words, more people you invite the more money you get. since i was doubting inviting people i dont rly know. but it all turned out hella well) and while in my last post i was bitter about how predictable and unimaginative my parents are at making surprises (yknow making things exciting like pinterest and media tells is right) apparently my extended family can fill these boots in their stead. cue the singing!  goodness so i think they sang a lot more than i can remember, but two stuck out. my aunt (the only real one and with a fantastic singing voice) soloed me the song of the bird that got up and flew away to see the world and homesickness. idk it was so sweet and she hugged me after saying it reminded her of me, and it was just genuine and sweet as hell. as well as her teaming up with every musical soul in the family to sing gaudeamus igitur- the song aparently sung at every highschool graduation/capping ceremony to celebrate our graduates. but since guess who didnt have that! they sang it for me, and it was the most unexpected sweet thing, bc they realised it during the party, scurried off to practice and sang the whole latin thing off their phones p much! god it meant so much for me. its incredible how much it means when someone subtly makes an observation about you (that is also correct) and then goes through surprising you with something so genuine and nice? gah! good shit. did i mention my ‘auntie’ remembered me once mentioning  a yarn i loved so much i hadnt dared to knit with it? she took a sample, went to find the yarn and made me the largest most amazing scarf (which i swear takes forever and im so thankful for) that she apparently just finished on the way there and it was perfect? maybe my absolute favourite graduation present. bc who else paid such attention to me, and didnt just take it literally, but took it to a new amazing level? heck.( also to everyone who now gives my artsy postcards to add to my collection. special ;* to you)

so- though it was a little bit of a hassle with some awkward bits, my brother only coming for an hour in the evening and conversations that went eeehhhh and etc, (plus at some point a lot of the memories of sharing a happy day with my dad and him being so proud of me were tainted by a big argument we had like a week and a half later ;( it was solved but tension stayed and its still slightly there) i managed to look p good, had my uncle hopefully take wonderful pictures of me and make me feel beautiful even if i wished i was skinnier and looked different and everything. i had people who really care about me hang out for a whole weekend and be good to me, and things went pretty darn well over all leaving me with good memories to gush over apparently! 

ohhh i totally forgot to mention huh, my lamenting above was resolved!!! i called my second uni (Aberdeen) and asked them softly like hi when will i know? bc you havent yet rejected and im uncertain bc i dont meet one of your requirements but exceed the others so? and theyre the sweetest. i gush about my uni all the time (partly to make me feel better about being there, but besides the point) about how many letters they sent me, how their entire vibe is so welcoming and accepting and like they value their students as important individuals and not just as figures to up their ratings. theyve been so caring- so open to understanding and taking the students under their wing without too much academic stress in the first term... so good and they genuinely are checking with people in charge and looking me up in their systems before telling me how they look at each case individually and will be back to me within a week and if not to call back! what uni says that. but they do- they get back to me in like 3 days. which happens to be my first day back in finland and 2 days before the graduation party. i get an email middle of the day while out with a friend but no i mustnt read it! i get back to her house, bc im staying with them, were doing dinner and.... i check and refresh and oh god im university!!! i did it!! im in!!!! holy fucking god!!! yes i jump a little and make them read it and yes i just found out right now and they bring out some champagne and i call my dad who apparently got tears in his eyes (which is so important, bc id felt him lose pride in me when my results came and id actually failed myself just like id said- aka what ended up to the argument. nope. i gotta stop spoiling good memories like this :[ ) and i suddenly felt pride in an achievement that my grades werent (now passing ib is an achievement. and the 75% of my grades that were fuckin bangin and i can be proud of) im IN. thats all that mattered, 

i was now resolved, i had a plan, i had something to tell the people who never see me so they can think well of me. i can have people congratulate me on getting to uni rather than ask about the ib! it was utterly perfect timing and made everything a little better. and im sure ive ranted about uni before, it being yknow the really right place for me, in almost every aspect except for chemistry (big part of course, makes me shaky in my whole degree choice) but im sorting things out. things are only getting better. bc im gonna see someone about maybe depression and not gonna have to vent here too much maybe. 

yikes tho, i wonder sometimes why i dont put these to my vent blog. but. my vent blog is so upsetting and horrible, like chest you scream into and shut. this is good. this is a diary entry i might want to see again. i dont wanna look into that hell pit to find this. im sorry if you’ve read this. but congratulations you now know me better as a person than most people who ever meet me. well not wholly, but getting there ;) . maybe if i ever date anyone in some future, i’ll find and edit these to give over as a summative glimpse into who i am. then again in some future id find a person who would never get sick of me talking all these feelings out in as many descriptive words as i can bc it eases me and theyd care. and do the same for me. yea. im changing. am i? maybe. things are blurry fuzzy and a little gray now. but my futures gonna be so colorful and clear i cant wait. 

[anissapierce]

oh also wanna hear your answer for two princes

Favorite character: Amir honestly like i wish we got to know more abt him, like we kinda did thru chad in s2 but I want to learn even more abt his emotional state and personality

Second favorite character: I really love Joan even though shes even less fleshed out than Amir which sucks. But Samira plays her really well and I love her sense of morality and the fact that she rallied the wannabe princesses into action though lord wht i wouldn’t give for a seven samurais audio montage (i know montages dnt work as well in an audio format but it can be Done and archive 81 proved it with: exist in the place you are currently occupying)

Least favorite character: The unnamed dads I guess? Everyone else I enjoy a whole bunch they all serve their roles well. Cecily needs to learn to take a no for a no but I’m less angry/annoyed at her than I am Kevin Snipes tbh for writing her that way and honestly giving her the arc he gave her when joan couldve been better utilized

The character I’m most like: Rupert maybe? My parents are wickedly overprotective in very stifling ways but they still expect a lot out of me, but my personality is still very close to Ruperts. I talk to my dogs in similar way he talks to Porrige and tbh I’ve told tons of lies ( i compulsively lied a lot as kid...), i too talk too much and too fast when im nervous

Favorite pairing:  RupertAmir of course, I literally nearly squeed when I was listening for the first time because of how gushy I was over the romance tht was unfolding and how happy it was making me.

Least favorite pairing:  Dnt rlly have one tbh I think the ship of cecilyjoan can be steered to a correct path at the end of the day. 

Favorite moment: Chad was so much fun, I loved nearly every single Chad moment n u know tht ariel was having a blast playing such a departure frm his usual roles? I’m very annoyed s2 is still only on spotify b/c spotify doesn’t have a bookmark function like podcastaddict does so I can’t write notes in the app itself abt wht i liked in specific moments and go back and relisten. I also felt like the ending was so godamn cathartic?  So i guess if I was picking a specific moment it might be tht with Chad singing coming in a close second place.

Rating:6/10 its very corny and over the top and silly but the sound design and acting is pretty good and it made me feel SO MANY FEELINGS.  Like ‘i have to get up and pace bc i can’t listen sitting down’ feelings.

[theday]

Those feelings are perfectly valid. It doesn't make you petty just because you still feel this way while some have moved on; people feel and deal with things differently. I don't know how you feel about these feelings of yours, but try not to beat yourself about it. Hopefully he'll apologize if he gets the chance. If he doesn't, I hope these feelings leave eventually.

For the Jae situation (if you’re talking about the song) I think it’s unfortunate that the song he recommended has such problematic lyrics. My stomach was twisting the whole time I was reading them and to know that he thought it was appropriate to recommend it didn’t make that it any better. I try my best not to blindly love bands or idols but a part of me thought that he was going to apologize. It’s been almost a week but I don’t think I’ve seen anything yet. This has me feeling torn at this (1)

point. This might be biased but I suggest having a bit of faith in him perhaps? Based on his personality (from what we can see anyway) I feel like he wouldn’t leave a topic like this untouched on purpose, especially if he knew that my days were upset about it. I understand that it can be unsettling to have one of your favorite people do something that rubs you the wrong way without any closure to disappate those negative feelings. Even if you do continue to feel badly towards him, know that (2)

hi anon!! how are you i didnt really expect anyone to talk about it bc i have v few day6 mutuals but thank you for bringing it up!!! i have talked about this before in an ask i answered on my main blog (thought it doesnt relate to the topic at all so ill just copy and paste what i said) under cut bc this will get long!

as of november 6:

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics… i SURE hope not… idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

 jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm 

okay so that ^ was like 4 days ago and it was answering a question on pet peeves so it didnt really have to do much with jae at all sorry for making u read that the second last paragraph is probably the most relevant whoops anyway

ive already said this but thank you so much for coming to my ask to talk (? though its mostly to reassure) about this with me because on twitter where i follow more mydays, i barely saw anyone talking about it and as i mentioned above it really bothered me :-/ everyone has different ways of responding to it so ill let that slide because there may be people who still want to enjoy day6′s music without having to deal with anythng “problematic” idk i cant speak for those fans who keep quiet about it but this isnt about other mydays its about jae and 

the fact that he’s been active on twitter since the release of the november magazine but has yet to speak about it also bothers me and its not smth i can just brush aside because like you said the lyrics are fucking terrible and has upset at least 2 people??? (which is completely understandable, the lyrics are trash along with the artist but i doubt jae knows about the shit the artist has done) from what i managed to catch on twitter idk about others and i posted a message on fans here because he has said that they do check fans so im hoping he ends up seeing it soon assuming he doesnt know about how the song distresses some mydays (i think most people have stopped @ing him about it at this point) and ill try to keep tweeting him??

i check the jae_day6 tweets and there are barely any tweets about the whole thing which is sad :-( so im just giving him as you said, the benefit of doubt and i believe that once jae finds out he’ll speak about it because jae is still the kind, encouraging person to mydays and i dont want something like this to change my opinion of him although it did eventually since i cant look jae (and pictures of him) the same way :-/ it probably has to do with the fact that i get influenced really easily by what others think?? and this time bc of what i think i ended up reacting negatively/not at all to jae things and i mean it sucks??? but i know that its okay to feel the way i do since we havent gotten any sort of explanation whatsoever 

anon i hope youre doing much better and even if you harbour any negative feelings towards jae too i want you to know that it’s really alright to feel that way like you said!!!! it makes me a feel a bit better that i have done my part to try and get jae to notice the mistake he’s made and i just hope he’ll talk about it eventually because he has so many opportunities to apologize/discuss the matter (vlive, twitter, fans) theres also music access which i will try and tune in to next monday so i can leave a comment (id feel bad for bernard though since hes the main dj)

once again thank you so much for being kind enough to reassure me and im glad it gave you a chance to talk about this too because something like this isnt something i can forget easily and i hope you have a good day because youre really great!!!!! i love you and its amazing that you believe in jae idk i think youre amazing!!!! 

[unrrrreliable]

08.06.2021

so much stuff happened

i dont even know where to start lol. actually ive wanted to come on here a few times but i didnt know the password but oh well.

so to summarize all the stuff thats been happening/has happened this past 8 months: 1- school, no friends (in my class), same shit. 2- my dad got drunk on february 5th and got stuck in the fucking park at like 23.00 and my brother and i had to call security to open the gate and then we also had to call the police and the ambulance because he was too drunk and aggressive. and 3- i had this fucking piano competition on march 21st, got the 1 prize which was reaaallly wide as in a lot of people, even those who didnt really deserve it, got it. basically it was really fucking stressfull since i was practicing the wrong way, didnt make huge progress, wanted to stop and cried a lot. but hey its been a month (the 2nd and last part was on may 8th and it went pretty bad because i got like 5th prize. i know i competed against ppl who are in university but i still couldve done better and anyone who comforted me knows that. i also went to the therapist a few times. is it helping? well i cant say that it isnt, but yk. at least its someone i can talk to. 

right now i still have to practice for my piano exam which will be on june 24th. its going fine ig, although i didnt study properly for like a month. thank fuck tests are done bc i seriously couldnt do any more of that shit istg. 

to be fair whats worst in this precise moment is my school situation,. not academic, but social. so as you know, i havent reallyyy tried to be part of the boy group in my class, as in i dont really talk to them, mostly because i just have no idea of what to say to start a conversation so it gets really akward. but today my mom came into my room asking me if there was a cena di classe today and ofc i said no bc no one had invited me. but then i remembered that yesterday a few ppl were organizing something for today. i think it wasnt only the 4 guys but there also were some girls but im not sure. either was, not trying to be dramatic but that kinda hurt lol. like i know i dont talk a lot in class but what would it cost you to invite me. but whatever. i also cried 30 min ago. it felt good afterwards tbh. but i still kinda feel like shit. its just the fact that this whole school year ive been really fucking lonely. not 0 friend lonely, but generally in class i would be kind of a loner. like i only talked to the two girls who sit behind me and who of course have their own friend group, which they have had since middle scjhool. my middle school friend group basically dismantled since two of theme are in one class and therefeore formed their own group, two others went to another school and another one, which is basically the only one i talk to daily, is in a different school. and honestly we dont go out that much anymore because i stopped writing. i realized that i was the only one who would ever call them so i felt that i was being kinda clingy or maybe i just didnt get the message. anyways, i know that i couldve tried harder and actually get in the group but idk, i just didnt care. obviously it sucked to be alone and i knew why i was and what i had to do in order not to be it anymore, but idk why i just didnt try enough. so yeah this school year sucked ass. at least im changing classes next year. 

one of the reasons why i didnt really bond w them is that were just different people who have different tastes and interests. they talk a lot about video games and football, which i have no understanding of. generally every interaction i have with them is really akward. but still i feel like and know that i couldve tried harder. what sucked is that all my friends are in other classses and formed their own friend groups and are just moving on yk? it kinda tore apart the friend group but im happy for them. meanwhile i was stuck in that class. not many friends tbh, never went out and still never go out. wow nice im crying again. 

tbh what really sucked was going home at lunch or after school alone and seeing wveryone with their own friend groups. and yes again, i know that i could have waited for them or just tried to conversate with them, but whenever i waited for them or tried to catch up they just walked faster (not on purpose) but it was impossible to even squeeze myself in so i was just like whatever. also what really sucks is that they (plus another guy who literally is always hanging out with his girlfriend) are the only guys in my class. and i cant only hang out with girls cause yk.

i also miserably attempted to form a group which consisted of me g g v and v. it failed because g and g started getting all bitchy and viscious and i was like ok then fuck off. plus theyre always w their boy/girlfriend, and v is always w g. and i literaly have never even had a conversation with v. 

but im so glad m exists. shes one of my best friends. i really like being around her, talking to her, i like the way she just lives life and is up to anything. also she’s always there. i just love her so much. not in a romantic way though. i also really like f but she hangs out with her boyfriend every satuday, which was the day we used to hang out. i still love talking to her and being with her. those are basically roughly the only two people i hang out with. like i cant really think of anyone else except for my old middle school friend group with which the last time we all hung up was in march. 3 months ago. i hung out w a, in the middle of april i think. but that was it. so of course we dont hang out regularly. also, i havent gone out for the entirety of may, which again i know is my fault, like i couldve asked anyone in my class. the boys dont really go out tho, bc i know e only hangs out w his out-of-our-class friends. and tbh i feel like if the 4 of them went out he would invite me (questionable?). but idk. but again, i really like hanging out w her, acc we went to milan on friday. it was really nice. we both enjoyed it a lot. theres still something i wanna say about her but my mom is calling me so i have to wipe out my tears haha

see ya

[grubhivemind]

-- devicefulFlightrisk [DF] began pestering decastichAmazifier [DA] -- 

DF: Hi. 

DF: Are you still on Avalon? 

DF: I was just wondering... 

DF: If anything else was happening? There? Or... 

DF: I dont know.

DA: yeah i'm still here, not pullin out yet 

DA: nothin is goin on form what i can see but i got my eyes in as many places as i can 

DA: check your local Kavi for street stories 

DA: i got this shit my man if anything happens you want updates 

DA: also i know you've been asked  how you are a million times so i'm not gonna do that but i do definitely give a shit how you are

DF: Oh, its okay... I dont really mind people asking. 

DF: Im just not sure what to say... 

DF: Theres... 

DF: A lot going through my head I guess.

DA: wanna talk through it?

DF: ... 

DF: I think I do. 

DF: It hurts too much to carry it around. 

DF: But I dont know... Its scary to even think about. 

DF: For... a lot of reasons.

DA: no judgement man 

DA: just let her rip 

DA: have at me, ramble all you gotta

DF: :( 

DF: I just... wish I wasnt thinking about it the way that I am. 

DF: I want to be angry... I want to pretend I never had anything to do with any of that. Like... 

DF: Like its unforgivable. 

DF: Because it is. 

DF: But I dont feel that way. 

DF: I can only think of what Id do if 

DF: 

DF: Theyre his family... I cant even imagine how Id react to 

DF: Its stupid. Im stupid for thinking that way!!! 

DF: I shouldve just listened to Joel!!!!!!!!

DA: woof, never thought i'd read that statement ever 

DA: obviously he'd never know about this but now he'll especially never know, we can't let his ego have this 

DA: but anyway 

DA: it's not dumb to rationalize 

DA: for many reasons, i think 

DA: for one you were into him and for two that's... yeah? makes sense? 

DA: we all kinda Rush The Fuck In™ when it comes to our family and that's like... understandable?

DF: But it doesnt matter... 

DF: Nobody else sees it that way. Even if people do, its not... 

DF: I dont know. It just doesnt matter. 

DF: I wish I was never a part of any of this. 

DF: It hurts so much... 

DF: I dont know why I ever thought things could work out.

DA: well 

DA: i'll tell you somethin jujubee 

DA: if you think somethin is worth it then they can work out... it's just give and take and i dunno man 

DA: it's a complicated situation 

DA: i'm not really a big fan of violence either if it can be avoided but not all people are like that and some shit is plain inexcusable 

DA: and mayve sometimes you try and things just still don't work out it's about how much you're willin to give up 

DA: i tried to give Sapire a second chance and that didn't work so now he's like.... gone forever i guess? which it sucks and all that but like, you have to focus on you at the end of the day 

DA: don't compromise your feelings or morals for anyone man, it might keep someone in your life but it'd just make you miserable in the long-run 

DA: and you deserve more than that :(

DF: Its so confusing... 

DF: Like... if circumstances were different... It would have been perfect. You know? DF: Im afraid that Ill forgive anything just to have that feeling back. It just... aches!!! Ive never felt so awful... 

DF: But... Its scarier thinking of how alienated Id feel from everyone else. 

DF: If I forgave it, I dont think anyone would forgive me.

DA: that's somethin you're gonna need time to think about 

DA: and i mean just because you forgive someone doesn't mean they're out of the shit 

DA: to be honest i can't really think of anything that would be a suitable punishment or penalty or whatever but i mean it doesn't have to be black or white 

DA:  also things are stupid hectic right now so taking time to think or even worrying about it later is probably best for you in this situation 

DA: shit's tense

DF: I guess youre right... 

DF: Im worried whats going to happen on Avalon too... Without Kougah there to take care of things. 

DF: I wish the people had just listened... We couldve done something. 

DF: I know... some things??? But I dont know if I can really help on my own. It feels... hopeless to try.

DA: yeah Baldur feels the same, he was actually asking me if i did any shit with music and that it might help? 

DA: to be honest i'm not keen on anyone dipping toe out the castle 

DA: also i've already got the place on lockdown so like 

DA: nah? 

DA: i get he wants to help but he's not about to solo this shit out

DF: ... Well, um... 

DF: Maybe we could work something out... 

DF: Auryhn, Kagome and Karima could come with us? They could watch out for us while we try to ... do our thing or whatever. 

DF: I just... I dont know what might happen and I dont want to stand idly by... :(

DA: mm 

DA: maybe yeah 

DA: you guys can put what you know together and try to do your thing 

DA: but we all are definitely sticking together, it's crazy out there so just.. we'll try to set this shit up and give it a go and see how it goes but if it doesn't work then i'm sorry but i wouldn't vote for another trip back in...

DF: Thats... probably fair. 

DF: I guess Ill try getting ahold of Baldur and see what we can do. 

DF: Ugh... 

DF: I really should be relaxing, shouldnt I? :( 

DF: But I cant help thinking about all this...

DA: lmao to be honest i should be relaxing too probably 

DA: Nellie's been making me chill the fuck out but ... no?? 

DA: there's so much to do and so much to think about and so much to plan for 

DA: it's impossible to waste time and there's too much going on to not be doing shit 

DA: is what it feels like, and probably is 

DA: i think it just needs to get to the point where we're not running ourselves ragged 

DA: do what we can, plan some shit out, then when it's like you gotta scrounge for shit to do then stop

DF: Yeah... That makes sense. 

DF: There isnt much I can do right now... 

DF: What have you been keeping yourself busy with? Exactly?

DA: mostly making sure this castle is impossible to get in if you're not supposed to be in it but also making sure we're not exactly sitting ducks 

DA: right now i'm doing a little minor reprogramming to some of his service bots around here 

DA: also playing host 

DA: makin some food and shit 

DA: gotta keep the guests well fed 

DA: i've also been watching the monitors i can tap into but some are too fuckin far

DF: Ohhh... Wow. You have been busy. 

DF: Id probably be doing the same. Hehe. 

DF: Im glad youre keeping safe... I think of all the places you could be on Avalon, thats already the safest. Um. 

DF: In terms of avoiding certain dangers... The weather probably isnt great up there. But even then... 

DF: Im just relieved.

DA: you know me, ever the busy bee :P 

DA: and yeah it's a chill place to be for now 

DA: tbh i wish Auryhn would drop the fuck in but idk i know he has a job also he's just.... upset really 

DA: he's a big guy but him feelings too big for him damn body

DF: Oh.... Yeah...... 

DF: I can imagine this is all pretty, um... Stressful for him, too.

DA: yeah... 

DA: i'll wear him down eventually i'm confident of it 

DA: but it's all fresh right now, he's still processing i think so yeah. it's just a lot for everyone to absorb

DF: It is..... 

DF: But... Im glad I talked to you about it. I feel a little less overwhelmed now... 

DF: At least my thoughts are sorted out a little better, if nothing else...

DA: glad to help Peapod <3 

DA: i'm glad we could talk, sorry i couldn't make it to the open invite thing but i'll get at you later 

DA: before all this i dug up some manga turned anime about two dudes whose dongs got turned into chicks and the chicks are gay for each other 

DA: if that's not a pride month shitfest of a marathon i don't know what is 

DA: give me the large gays and tiny lesbians 

DA: so yeah. strap the fuck in next time we get together

DF: Thats...... :O 

DF: That sure is the concept of an anime alright! 

DF: Hehe... Im looking forward to it.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[haeroniel-doliet]

i need more money to buy little art

honestly tho feeling like for that ideal goal existence i’ll try get to someday, i’ll needa be making proper money comfortable and good so i can spend all i like on society 6 and other to buy shirts and bags and just everything to a house all in different art prints (mostly florals) bc just those pictures are  like everything i want but just so expensive. i’m trying to sum down like 10 to stickers, bc i wanna do up my laptop, but dedicating to a single decal (thats like 25 ON SALE) is too much esp since i love so much. so ive kinda decided to get a hard cover for the laptop just in case i break it, and just in case i do break my laptop that i can keep the stickers on the hard case and dont lose them to replaced parts. idk seems smart. ill probs buy a kinda shady cover off of ebay for 5 or 6 pound and then spend 20 on stickers for it :] since theyre on sale till 8 am today and its 3 am im probs just gonna settle and order them. might order cover tomorrow w my dad bc i need trust assurance. hes not all on board on the stickers so im just gonna go for it. theyre gonna be like my post cards. i buy so many every place. and no. not trashy postcards. i want art. i have so many postcards of paintings in galleries and so many from comic con art valleys (guess who wants to get so much more and 100% will) i love original art the most when its pretty to me and like everyone who sees it. simples okay but i prefer soft and detailed. excited now i can go to con and also be looking for stickers bc maybe ill get a few cool ones that wont cost me as much as the society 6 ones do. and then my laptop can replicate my walls, displaying all the art ive loved that ive been able to take with me (bc theres so much i obviously dont have on my walls) anyway im looking at these and making some small bc i suddenly realise this laptops got realestate. and the saddest thing w stickers (literally why i had one of those waxy paged sticker books as a child) is that i cant dedicate stickers to a single spot. its so much dedication. what if i buy a bigger sticker and it wont fit? what if i get the perfect sticker for that spot and it wont fit? (over lap i guess) how can i be sure i put them in the right spots to start with? augh i dont really wanna cover just half of it and obviously leave space bc that puts pressure on finding stickers and i might get ones i dont love. i cant get sick of any one bc itll be there  (joy of having multiple mean theres less getting sick of anything). anyway i think im happy w the sizes of these 10 stickers and can work w them (also for now i think im just gonna be going around the edges and leaving the apple logo as it is, esp bc it glows and theres already this shitty old smiley face sticker from my old psych teacher and i kinda dont wanna get rid of it, i just wanna add things around it so it doesnt look so: clean (actually dirty) laptop that a child marked as their own) 

anyway society 6 has random discounts all the time which is p rad and maybe the day im ready to invest in my own living space and dont feel obliged to check w my parents about just about any purchase, i’ll then subscribe to something thatll tell me what discount is on. that in mind, i think i’ll only get the 9 now, that hopefully wont cost too much, and leave a bunch in my wishlist, bc there’ll be another discount (this is 20% off everything)  and maybe that’ll be like 50% off stickers and boy then when my collection is underway you bet ill go for it. and like maxx sticks on their sketch book, if i dedicate to a new book maybe ill get more for that and have a pretty thing to keep and reminisce over (tho knowing me, ill not use it much bc i have a need for pretty things to stay perfect and presentable, and i have a need for everything that i might show to others to be like near perfect otherwise its sucks and ill feel bad bc i dont wanna show it off to people. like my art book, sure i couldve made it all experimental and crap and then edited the real pages together on the computer. but no. i needed everypage to be presentable and pretty and handwritten and creative. and they must go page after page, its so awkward showing someone something and then going “oh wait now these few are empty sorry yeah heres the next page” so i baasically have  a book with mhmmm 20-26 pages of beautiful spreads that im quite proud of inside beautiful covers ( i knew id want to be presenting it for years to come) and the back pages are just...empty. and theyll probably stay that way bc i no longer have projects to be doing to fill them with. maybe one day ill grow into myself and grow out the fear of ruining what ive achieved and fill some with new projects to please myself and be an indepenednt artist not just a teacher pleaser. you know its like that with my work too, like it has to have a direction and a plan that will be achieved, and its terribly frustrating when that vision doesnt happen. but i think thats the same with everyone. 

anyway on a side note, dont you guys think its so fun and cool how ive not done my post labs that were due last friday? how every night ends up being 3-4 am until i go... mhmmmm yeah i guess nothing is happening. like i hope id bloom and do work at that 11pm-3am window and then i get here, suddenly having lost all track and sense of time and just sigh. its wasted, its basically tuesday already. have to keep telling myself dates bc it moves so weird. i planned on getting shit done two days ago. here we are regardless. and the most ill get done is get those stickers ordered bc that is i guess what ive been half focused on for mhmmm5 hrs. then ill save my 7 dollars or whatever, have stickers on the way, tomorrow order the case and thats one insignificant thing done. then the question will be have i looked at summer jobs? no of course not ive looked at ballet courses. shush. i havent showered for days bc theyve just slipped by too laying in bed, maybe tomorrow ill take a shower and pick up all the trash and tissues on the ground. maybe i will. i know i wont get real work done tonight, and already ill be sleepy till 1 pm and by then mom will be again on me abt sleeping to latesoo... yeah no point. and here i thought id make a quick totes relatable short post about how i need more money to buy stickers and maybe a brief my ideal life is to have enough money to spend on art being in every part of my life and all this  being unique so people love coming to my house and go wow its so original and cool. and that turned into a word vent thats so far taken me over half an hour. hi my batterys dying. 

lng story short, i’ll order the stickers currently in my basket after so much though, suck it up and do it and know that i have a bunch over in my wishlist for that next maybe even better sale when it happens. the only thing is im taking all the rest as transparent which for sure dulls them down (yeah white background looks sick but for some its just more classy w transparent, then theres this one bear i’m 100% naming wojtek thats in white bc i feel it’ll be best for him, and i guess having him in white will set that theres no clear rules to follow and worst case if it doesnt fit he can come chill on the keyboard side next to my mouse pad thing) honestly i cant tell if i should be getting them all in white and just hope that theyll look gorgeous no matter what. yikes 3 dollar shipping for stickers, ok itll actually be 19.62 pound and using euro card 22.50 in  euros.... am i dumb? maybe. and tho im supposed to be saving money up so i have some, i also did get birthday money sorta recently soo... birthday gift from them. first set of stickers. deep breaths ok. my parents told me when i bugged them that i just have to make a decision and not ask them all the time, and he said to get 3 stickers i told him id pick 12 so i think getting 9 is reasonable. also oh shit realising that the delivery time is 1-3 weeks and im staying here only 1 and a half more so i should really order it to scotland even tho it might get ther ebefore i do bc my parents might not rly want to send them up to me. idk ok order to scotland, thank f at least one of my flat mates is staying and tbh i should really bring her some chocolate... shes done me faavours.