#tbd its almost 4am. storms woke me up
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Re-invested in my DUrge ATM because I let myself accept they weren't fucking Gor.tash.
#like it's one thing as a sibling to be like. your boyfriend sucks and hes changing you into someone I cannot recognize or relate to#and another for the situation to be watching your sibling who you've never been able to truly connect with on a personal level#who would never change for you or save you from circumstance or shield you from your father#change for someone else they're learning to connect and identify with#anyway it's hust a bg3 bubble im still not going back rn I'm just thinking about Sable again...#i love you Orin I'm sorry 😔❣️#personal q#sable q#making Gortash a platonic relationship (if a fucked up enabling one etc) just works better for me and for the character#not saying that Gortash didnt have a wildly different experience or interpretation though#im not sure it really matters since Sable never connects with him on a personal level again after Orin takes direct action...#tbd its almost 4am. storms woke me up#i just miss Orin. actually.#the idea of her assuming its just some weird fucked up sex thing. and then witnessing that its not that at all#and then her plotting in a very personal and betrayed matter actually. not really understanding her emotions and knowing Durge never will#but she understands violence and so does Durge and maybe This will change something for them. maybe this will work.#i just love siblings and exploring how fucked up and interpersonal imbalanced familial dynamics can be#TBD tbd anyway it's 4am#gOd and that Orins actions DO lead to Sable developing emotionally and interpersonally and becoming the sort of person#who would want to step between Orin and Bhaal but its an impossible situation and it's too late and Orin will never really get that moment
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