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yerimacoustic · 2 months

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𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙪𝙨 ♡ joshua x reader

↳ ❝ 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 ❞ 🧺🦢☁️

summary: your parents have been in a very public rivalry with joshua’s since before you were born, yet the two of you can’t seem to stay away from each other. secret relationship au, actor!josha and model!reader, joshua hong x afab reader. also featuring vernon and mingyu. 8.4k wc.

content warnings: fluff (joshua is literally just a sweetheart), a little bit of angst, overbearing/controlling parents, strong language, brief suggestive content (make out sesh in the coat closet), champagne drinking, it’s probably not very good since i’m just getting back into writing </3 18+ mdni!

soundtrack: secret love song by little mix, they don’t know about us by one direction, see you again by tyler the creator and kali uchis, telepatía by kali uchis, sober by childish gambino, slut! by taylor swift, and ofc darling by seventeen

for anyone else, going to a movie premiere in the spur of the moment wasn’t much of a risk at all. any of joshua’s other fans could watch his new movie in public without experiencing any scrutiny. with all of that being said, there was no reason you should have been waiting near the staff entrance with a baseball cap and sunglasses. and yet, you were peering around corners and checking your watch every two seconds.

he was only two minutes late. it’s no big deal. maybe he was just preparing one of his speeches or getting his makeup touched up.

or.. he could have finally chosen to listen to his parents and stop seeing you. he could have realized that your relationship put both of your careers and reputation in jeopardy. he could have been rehearsing his breakup speech with you.

before you could prepare yourself for a theoretical rebuttal, the door swung open. and you were graced with quite possibly the most beautiful sight to behold- joshua, himself. he wore a navy blue suit, suede. he had bleached his hair recently; it was still taking some getting used to, but it was a lovely color on him. it was snow white, minus a few streaks of yellow along the ends. all in all, he looked like an angel.

neither of you wasted a second, throwing your arms around each other as he pulled you in for a deep, slow kiss. your hands rested on your shoulders, leaving prints of your palms on the fuzzy, napped fabric. you smiled into the kiss, relieved that your doubts proved to be fruitless, and he quickly reciprocated.

“thanks for coming,” he whispered to you. “i know you’ve been really busy.”

you shrugged, “its nothing i’m not used to. besides.. i had to see you. it’s been too long.”

joshua pulled away just enough to look in your eyes, adoration filling his own. with a quiet chuckle, he slowly removed the sunglasses from your face and folded them over his dress shirt. just as you moved your hands up in protest, he grabbed them both and laced his fingers with yours. “you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. can we go somewhere tonight? anywhere.”

“I-” you stopped, drawing in a shaky breath. your breathing came to a complete stop, as if you were waiting for someone to burst through the door at any moment. “i don’t know. where would we go? i bet everyone in the city knows which hotel you’re staying at.”

he snickered, “good point. but they probably don’t know which one you’re staying at.”

you furrowed your eyebrows in mock offense, “and what exactly are you implying?”

“that your fans have a little more common sense and decency than mine,” joshua sighed, though there was no sign of self-pity in his voice. he moved a hand away from yours to brush through your hair, detangling a few tiny strands.

“if only that were the case,” you chuckled gloomily. “let’s go to the restaurant by my hotel. there’s a rooftop terrace, i could buy it out for the two of us.”

“someone likes their privacy,” joshua teased. “i’ll be there. gimme a few hours after the movie ends and i’ll run to you.”

“it’s a date.” you smiled giddily and cupped his chin with your thumb and index finger, pressing your lips against his once more. and once again, the two of you smiled once graced with the pressure of a light, chaste kiss. “now, i’ve gotta get going. i’ve got a movie to watch.”

joshua’s eyes went wide; when the two of you made arrangements to sneak around that day, he wasn’t expecting you to purchase a ticket to his premiere. he expected a quick little meeting, a few kisses, words of affirmation.. he knew that the two of you were already taking great risks as it was, he didn’t expect you to take another one. “well you’ll have to tell me all about it tonight.”

“looking forward to it.” you stole another kiss from him, trying not to ruin any of his makeup. there would be plenty of time for that later. you also lifted up your sunglasses from the collar of his shirt, sliding them back on with a mischievous smirk before waving goodbye and turning your back on him.

getting into the theater wasn’t much of a problem, oddly enough. it was somewhat alarming, the realization that no one recognized you as you wore one of the most basic disguises of all time. still, you opted to sit in the very back of the theater. not only were you afraid of potentially stealing the spotlight away from joshua , but the mere thought of your parents getting wind of this was terrifying.

both of your parents had had a very public rivalry since before either of you were born. your mothers were both models, and were best friends for a long time. that was.. until your mother stole one of the most important modeling gigs from joshua’s mother. and her manager. and her celebrity crush. they ended up breaking up before she met your dad but still!

then, your mother just had to marry a football player. and joshua’s mother was quick to retaliate, entering into a marriage of convenience with a player on a rival team. needless to say, you and joshua had been forbidden from even speaking to each other, let alone supporting each other’s work. let alone falling in love…

to be fair, neither of you ever saw it coming. until you met at a mutual friend’s birthday party, the two of you had some pretty horrible preconceived notions of each other that were proven false after a private rooftop conversation. after all, they’d been planted in both of your brains since the two of you were children.

it started out as privately messaging on instagram. then when the two of you started traveling more, you moved to whatsapp. then joshua plucked up the courage to ask you for your private number and then you started meeting each other in secret wherever you could. exclusive bars and restaurants, botanical gardens, private hotels and residences… not even your closest friends knew. and it would stay that way for a long, long time.

sometimes it hurt, yes. some days were easier than others.. but it hardly bothered you as you stared up at the silver screen. dark fantasy films were making a comeback, joshua being at the center of the industry’s revolution. you leaned back in your seat, smiling dumbly at the sight of your beloved in one of those fluffy pirate shirts, exploring an unknown, frightening realm while finding love along the way…

—------------------------------------

it was cold that night. wind brushed through your hair while you kept your arms folded across the balcony, nipping at your nose and fingertips. you could see your breath, small clouds forming with each steady breath you took. you looked back towards the door near the center of the rooftop for the twentieth time; he had not stood you up yet, but the fear was always there.

your lockscreen remained empty, the only notifications being messages from your manager, vernon. several reminders about your interviews and photoshoots tomorrow, his ever present dry tone practically audible as you read the notes to yourself. it seemed you couldn’t escape reality for a second, even if you tried.

the slanted rooftop door opened quietly, but it didn’t startle you. you paid the maître d’ not to let anyone except for him upstairs. joshua stood in the doorway for a moment, letting the music from inside the restaurant ring through the air before shutting the door and muffling the smooth jazz. he watched you stare out at the city in quiet contemplation, approaching you timidly.

“the city’s so beautiful this time of night,” you told him quietly without turning to face him. “i wish we could stay here. just a little bit longer.”

he let his hands rest on the railing, one of them brushing against your elbow at the movement. “you’re heading back tomorrow?”

you nodded, “two more interviews, one more photoshoot. then it’s back home for a few weeks.” you looked back towards him. “you too?”

he shook his head, “there’s another showing in paris this weekend. and then in milan, then L.A….”

you tried to hide your disappointment, standing up a little bit taller. “well..i’m free for the next few weeks, so we’ll just.. work something out.”

joshua smiled, a pang of pain nearly visible within the movement. the flash of emotion was gone as quickly as it had first appeared, his beautiful, familiar smile quick to replace the pitiful look in his eyes. “perfect” was all he could say in the moment. “well..let’s make the most of the time we have together, then.”

“i couldn’t agree more.” with a chuckle, you led him towards a table near the center of the rooftop. It was the only one covered in a tablecloth and lit candle, where a bottle of chilled champagne and glasses awaited the two of you. you were the one to take the initiative, pouring a respectable amount of the cristal champagne in both glasses. you looked up to him as you rose yours, and he was quick to mirror your actions. “i loved your movie, by the way.”

he snickered with a bashful nod of his head, “i thought you might. you always had a dark sense of humor.”

“and a love for fantasy and romance,” you countered, taking a meager sip from your glass. “it was nice to escape reality with you, joshua. even just for a little while.”

he smiled dumbly, as if the endless amounts of compliments from critics meant nothing to him compared to what you had to say about his work. “i’m glad my performance was convincing to you,” he mused, an awfully sappy look in his eyes as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “but this-” he gestured to the empty space surrounding the two of you, “it’s really nice. thank you.”

you shook your head dismissively, “it was nothing.”

“no, i’m serious,” he told you, setting down his glass in favor of taking your free hand in his. “i haven’t had more than five minutes to myself in almost two months. i’m grateful that you would do something like this for me.”

once his warm hand was wrapped around yours, you felt prompted to look up in his eyes. his beautiful dark brown eyes.. “this wasn’t just for you, you know,” you teased him helplessly. “i’ve been needing some time to myself. you have no idea how insufferable vernon actually is.”

joshua laughed out loud, “i would have expected nothing less. someone has to keep you in line.” his hand briefly swatted at your elbow for effect.

“he’s not doing a very good job, is he?” this time, you were the one to gesture towards the space of the empty rooftop around you before facing him fully. comfortable silence passed between the two of you, warmth flooding your chest the second you got a better look at his eyes. then you whispered, “dance with me.”

joshua knew he would have been a fool to decline such a request. sorry, such a command. he was quick to set down his glass, which was half full by now. after settling on the best playlist of classy tunes he could find on spotify, he stepped towards you with a mischievous grin. once your arms were linked around his neck, his were curled around your waist in an effort to bring you closer to the warmth of his chest.

the two of you swayed in perfect time with the symphonies of strings that rang through the tiny speaker of his phone. your chin came to relax on his shoulder while his face was nestled comfortably into your hair. neither of you spoke for a moment, soaking in each other’s warmth. enjoying each other’s presence, uninterrupted, while you still could guarantee that no one unwanted would barge in on you. even your heartbeats were in perfect synch as you swayed in circles amongst the candlelight.

joshua’s touch was feather-light, but firm at the same time. there was confidence in the way he held onto your hips, fingers delicately tracing patterns in the fabric- but it wasn’t the boldest movement. he wasn’t making any efforts to insinuate that he wanted something else from you- no. it was more like he was trying to set your weary mind at ease. he knew that these less than ideal circumstances weighed on you, just like they weighed on him.

he’d washed the gel from earlier out of his hair, that much was clear once you ran your fingertips through the snow white strands. weaving the locks through your hands in gentle motions, you allowed yourself to take another step closer towards him. there was no room for either of you to even breathe without feeling the impact of the other’s chest rising and falling. you took a deep breath, getting a faint whiff of his cologne- a familiar scent of pine that you associated with him and him only.

neither of you said another word as you lifted your head up from his shoulder without breaking away from him. his lips were mere inches away from yours as the two of you stopped swaying just to get a better look at each other. the music swelled as the climax of the latest song rang through the air, painting a picture perfect moment for the two of you. you and joshua both studied each other, as if you were taking a mental note to memorize the godlike features in front of you.

After a moment, you couldn’t wait much longer. you pressed your lips against his, hoping to communicate more to him than words could in that moment. actions always spoke much louder, anyways. he seemed to agree; for her returned your kiss with fervor, cupping your cheek while his other hand kept his grip on your waist. your hands stayed in his hair even when you broke the kiss to press your forehead against his.

“let’s just stay up here for a little bit longer.”

—--------------------------------------------------------------

your eyes were glued to the tiny screen in front of you once your makeup was finished. now that you had some time to yourself, you could fixate on the most recent message you had sent to joshua: ‘i’m leaving again on the fourteenth, ik that’s your first day back in town. come over to my place.’

‘my place.’ you two had never been brave enough to meet at each others’ private residences. you knew the risks that came with it; the fear that nosy reporters or stalkers could follow you home, that either one of your friends or family members could burst in through the door.. if only there was a channel of tunnels underground designed especially for you two.

anyways, you chose to forgo sounding like a broken record and voicing your familiar concerns towards him. the three bubbles appeared on screen, blinking in the rhythmic pattern. they stayed there for a moment; he was obviously thinking really hard about what to say next. your heart nearly stopped beating completely, your breath catching in your throat, and then..

“y/n,” a voice from behind you mused.

you hurriedly pushed the power button, letting the phone fall to your lap while looking over your shoulder. vernon stood with his hands in his pockets with a blank expression. somehow you were able to read your deadpan manager like a book by now; right now, he was unhappy with you. “oh good, you’re ready. what’s taking so long?”

you sighed, “sorry. there’s just a lot on my mind.”

“like what?” vernon took a seat next to you, eyebrows furrowed.

“i don’t know how many more times i can talk about who i’m wearing or who did my makeup or what i hope to see make a comeback this fashion season,” you answered truthfully. “i’m really tired.”

vernon tried to offer a reassuring smile, his best effort being a mere tug at the one corner of his lips. “this is your last day, then you get a few weeks off. you’ll have plenty of time to rest, clear your mind.”

your eyes briefly fixated on the ceiling as you tried to figure out what to say next. “i mean in general. don’t you think that i could be doing something a lot more..meaningful?”

“where is all of this coming from?” vernon was puzzled; you were never one to complain about your occupation. you knew that you were blessed, that there were a lot of perks that outweighed the cons most of the time..you’d known that for years now. why were you suddenly having second thoughts?

“i’m.. not sure.” for a brief moment, you contemplated telling vernon about your true feelings for joshua. but you quickly realized that there were two possible directions he could take with the new information: for one, he could tell your parents. he was loyal to them, not just to you. two, he could hear you out. as your manager, he had been there for you on a physical and emotional level.

but.. you weren’t sure if now was a good time to take that risk. you stood up, checking your empty lockscreen under the guise of checking the time. “let’s get this over with,” you told him.

vernon nodded sympathetically before following suit and opening the door for you. “the second they’re done asking questions, you’re on the first plane home. you have my word.

“and listen- we’ll talk more on the way home, okay?”

you flashed him a smile of gratitude before letting out a quiet sigh. to tell the truth, you were more focused on your intense heartbeat than anything else. what did joshua have to say that was so important it took him five whole minutes and counting to type it? however, it was nothing compared to the disappointment you felt after the interview when you came back to another empty notification center.

—----------------------------------

you didn’t stop checking your phone for new messages, even when you got home. every single time you were greeted by the two checkmarks, indicating that joshua had, in fact, read your message. what was taking him so long? had his phone been intercepted somehow? or had he finally realized…

you were ready to call it quits and fling your duffle bag onto the couch on the way to the kitchen, following through with your nightly routine. chamomile tea with a mint face mask, dimmed lighting and forest rain asmr playing on the television. however, your mother, who was sitting on said sofa with her back towards you, had other plans.

the sight of her didn’t scare you; you’d grown accustomed to her barging into your home and waiting for you to get back from work trips. sometimes you seriously wondered if she knew your schedule better than you did. maybe it was a good thing joshua was ghosting you.

“good to see you, mom,” you told her casually while making your way to the kitchen. not even her looming presence could stop you from brewing a much needed cup of tea.

she furrowed her eyebrows, taking offense at how casually you blew her off in favor of going to the stove. “that’s all?”

you flicked the stove on, waiting for the water to boil. with your back towards her you rolled your eyes, “what’s going on with you? how have you been?”

slapping her hands over her knees, she stood up from the couch abruptly. “i have excellent news, young lady. the kims are throwing a birthday party tonight for their oldest son, mingyu. and guess who has been personally invited?”

you pulled out your favorite mug, a light blue one with pale butterflies scattered across the cup. “i don’t know. vernon?”

your mother huffed, “you! mrs. kim told me that mingyu wants to meet you personally. your father and i will accompany you, of course, now let’s-”

“wait a minute, wait a minute, hold on-” you turned to face her, holding your hands up. “i literally just finished a month-long gig and went to five different countries. i don’t feel like going to a birthday party for someone i’ve never even met.”

“oh come on! just take a quick nap, and don’t drink any of this sleepytime tea.” she reached over to turn the stove off and move the kettle out of the way. “i’ll pick out your outfit while you get some rest. i want you looking your best tonight!”

before you could even think about protesting, she was gently pushing you into your bedroom. she made her own way to the closet after making sure you were seated on the edge of your bed, flicking the light on with a hum of satisfaction. she began muttering to herself while you tried to get comfortable among the blankets and pillows you’ve missed so dearly, “oh yes, you’ve got so many good options… oh this color would look marvelous on you… oh mingyu loves the color blue, you’ll-”

“MOM!” you shrieked, covering your ears with the nearest pillow.

—--------------------------

of course, it was no surprise to you that your mother had chosen one of the most uncomfortable dresses in your possession. it was dark blue, short and sequined, completely backless save a series of tiny laces clinging to your lower back. you’d worn several outfits just like it in photoshoots, but you’d never felt more exposed in your life. the cold air crashed upon your bare legs as you stood in the driveway, gazing up at the kims’ mansion in a pained stupor.

this wasn’t how your night was supposed to go.

your parents, with a hand resting on either of your shoulders, led you into their close friends’ house. it was just like any other party they had dragged you along to, several esteemed guests mingling politely with champagne in hand. waiters in white tuxedos carried glasses around, wearing blank expressions that would put robots to shame. a classical string quartet played over the speakers, once that provoked you to reminisce about the special moment you and your beloved shared just a few nights prior…

your mother was quick to pull your tiny coat off of your shoulders, handing it to the nearest waiter to dispose of it properly. the air was much warmer, that much you were grateful for. “let’s go find her,” she spoke of her close friend, your gracious host. “she shouldn’t be too far behind.”

you deadpanned as she kept a firm grip onto your hand, pulling you through the crowd. you spotted a few familiar faces, friends of friends. but no one that you particularly wanted to see. although the music was classical, soothing, you could’ve sworn it was getting louder and louder by the second. you stopped in your tracks to grab a glass of champagne, knowing that it would do little to calm your nerves. but you took a quick sip anyways.

of course, your mother snatched the glass from your hands once the two of you came face to face with a woman dressed to the nines. she wore an elegant dress and pearls, making you second guess your choice of apparel (not for the first time that night), her dark hair in a slick bun. she turned to her friend(?), your mother, giving her a warm smile, “i’m so glad you could make it!”

“thank you for inviting us!” your mother chirped, tugging you closer to her by gripping onto your furthest hip. “this is my lovely daughter, y/n. she just got home, she’s been working nonstop for the past month.”

“hi,” you chimed in awkwardly, grinning.

mrs. kim looked to you, her smiled laced with pride, “i think i recognize you. mingyu and i noticed you in several television ads in one sitting! it’s great to finally meet you in person.” before you could thank her, she turned her back on the two of you in favor of grabbing a young man’s hand and prompt him to join your small circle. “ladies, this is my son, mingyu.”

you could admit that kim mingyu was objectively very attractive. he was tall, with wavy dark hair and a cut jawline of steel. you expected someone with his status (and honestly, his looks) to take one look at you and walk in the other direction with his nose up in the air. but he didn’t. he extended a hand towards you, beaming. “hi.”

“hi, happy birthday,” you whispered, bashfully taking his hand. “i’m-”

“i already know who you are,” he cut you off, not that you were going to complain about it. however, once he realized that he interrupted your train of thought, he smiled bashfully, “sorry. we’ve just.. seen you on the tv for a while now. it’s lovely to meet you.”

“we’ll leave the two of you alone,” your mother giggled, joining hands with mrs. kim and booking it out of the kitchen. much to your utter horror. you didn’t know why you were so surprised; your mother’s penchant for evil was growing stronger and stronger everyday, it seemed.

the two of you stood awkwardly for a moment, mirroring awkward smiles and nervous laughs. luckily, mingyu broke the silence before you could, “do you wanna get out of here?”

you furrowed your eyebrows, momentarily confused. “..huh?”

“i mean- there’s a balcony just outside. i need some fresh air, it’s awfully stuffy in here.” the tall man chuckled, briefly grabbing at the collar of his dress shirt for effect. he had a very nice smile, one that seemed to be especially suited for film and television. there was a kindness in his eyes; he only wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

“oh- oh! yeah, that sounds really nice, actually.” you chuckled. only when you were greeted by the familiar cold air did you remember that you were not well dressed for this particular weather. once mingyu shut the door behind you, your arms were promptly folded over your chest, your palms moving up and down to provide the skin of your upper arms any sense of warmth. needless to say, it was not very effective.

“shit-” mingyu caught on quickly, throwing his blazer off his shoulders and draping it along your much smaller frame. you were soon drowned in the fabric, chuckling at how it could wrap around your entire body and then some. “sorry. i didn’t-”

“no, no it’s okay!” you laughed. “i- forgot what i was wearing for a second. my mom picked this dress out for me. she doesn’t usually do that, i swear.” inwardly, you were kicking yourself for your word choice- why did you feel the need to tell him that?

mingyu snickered, “don’t worry, i know all about that. my mom had this tailored specifically for tonight. we take birthdays pretty seriously around here.”

you nodded, unsure of what else to say in the moment. the two of you stared down the balcony in somewhat uncomfortable silence. there were already a handful of guests leaving, which undoubtedly would soon be replaced by more friends and family members. you envied those who climbed into the getaway cars, laughing and recalling the events of that night. still, you knew you had to be polite.

“so-” you both said at the same time before promptly bursting into a fit of chuckles.

“you first, birthday boy,” you chuckled.

you could have sworn mingyu tilted his head to hide a growing beam upon hearing the affectionate nickname you’d bestowed upon him. “well.. tell me more about yourself. do you have any hobbies?”

you lifted your chin up, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation as if you’d forgotten every little detail about yourself in a moment’s notice. “well…not really. don’t have a lot of time to myself. sometimes i read.”

“what kind of books?”

“you know.. the usual. nonfiction, i like a lot of history books. also.. i read some romance novels every now and again.”

mingyu chuckled in amusement, “ohhh so you’re one of those readers.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, mocking offense. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“nothing!” mingyu was quick to throw his hands up in mock defense, snickering. you could tell the expression of guilt on his face was genuine, a sympathetic yet sheepish grin on his lips. “nothing. you just don’t look like the type to read smut in your free time.”

“well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” you teased, smirking broader by the second. you’d even forgotten all about the freezing winds practically biting at your skin, thanks to him. he was easy to banter with, you could give him that much.

mingyu didn’t say anything at first, smiling bashfully towards you as if the last statement was.. promising to him. a moment of silence passed between you, your eyes instinctively falling over the balcony as a hum escaped your lips. even in your brief peace of mind, nothing could have prepared you for what he asked you next.

“are you seeing anyone right now?”

you chuckled bashfully, wondering how he jumped so quickly from such an icebreaker to a deeply personal question. “um..no. are you?”

mingyu shook his head, grinning dumbly. “my mom tries setting me up with girls all the time. that’s mostly what this birthday party is: an excuse for her to parade me in front of eligible bachelorettes.”

“i’m sorry to hear that,” you told him with sincerity, bringing his jacket a bit closer to your chest. “i get it, though. both of my parents have been pressuring me to start dating more seriously too.”

“and i imagine it's a bit harder for you too,” mingyu replied sympathetically. he had a point; there were a lot more double standards for women in the industry involving dating, hell, even just existing. you were either seen as a prude for staying single or a gold digger if you chose to date someone just as wealthy, if not more wealthy than you. there never seemed to be a happy medium, but you’d made peace with that long ago.

you shrugged. “it is what it is. frankly, i’m more concerned about keeping food on the table than seeing what the gossip magazines have to say about me.”

mingyu chuckled, albeit sadly. “well said.”

neither of you seemed to be quite sure where the conversation would go from there. there seemed to be little to no interest in elaborating on the particularly forward question he’d asked you. keeping that sentiment in mind you turned towards him, offering a small smile towards the much taller man. “should we head inside? i don’t want your mother to get the wrong idea.”

he snickered, “i could use a drink, anyways.”

he was gracious enough to let you wear his jacket just until he opened the door for you. you let out a faint sigh of relief once the familiar warmth flooded against your skin, reaching your hands up to slip the large pool of fabric off your shoulders.

but the moment you took your eyes off mingyu, your heart nearly lept out of your chest at the sight of joshua not five feet in front of you, reaching for another glass of champagne. your eyes locked, his own going wide with the realization you had caught him in a lie for the first time. he was able to keep his cool, act like your presence didn’t affect him in the slightest.. unfortunately, you weren’t so gifted in that area.

you turned to mingyu with a sympathetic yet slightly rushed grin, “it was- really nice talking to you. i hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“thanks. it was nice talki-”

before you could let him finish his thought, you rushed towards the man with fluffy bleached hair. discretion was the least of your concerns. you weren’t sure if you should be relieved that you were finally seeing him again, angry with him for ignoring you, or heartbroken that you had to meet again under such circumstances. “i thought you were going to paris,” you told him.

he looked over his shoulder, drawing in a deep breath. he knew the odds were stacked against the two of you now more than ever; you’d never found yourselves in the same public setting as both of your parents. you didn’t even have to ask him if his were close by; you knew they had a tendency to hover over him like a pair of vultures. “long story,” he whispered once he finally met your eyes. brief and distant was the contact.

you grabbed onto his arm, looking over your shoulder in the same manner as he’d done just moments before. and before you could listen to his protests, you walked him down the hall and to the nearest coat closet. no one else was around the hallways; the guests mostly found themselves in the music or drawing rooms where entertainment was provided.

you slammed the door shut, leaning back against it with your arms folded. joshua frowned once he saw the expression of hurt etched along your features, the way your eyebrows knitted together.. “you lied to me.”

“i know.”

“why?”

joshua looked away, fingers brushing along the sleeve of a random guest’s coat. it was large, dark brown.. mink, no doubt. “i.. i guess it would have been easier going back home knowing.. knowing that you thought i was still out of the country.”

you felt a strange, tightening sensation in your chest. one that was painfully unfamiliar, especially since joshua was involved. “where is all of this coming from?” you asked him quietly, keeping your position against the small door. it served two purposes: keeping him in and anyone else out. “i thought..”

“i know,” he interrupted, taking a step closer to you and letting go of the soft, plush fabric in favor of holding onto one of your hands. “i know. and i’m really sorry. i just.. i hate this.”

your eyes widened, the tightening feeling in your chest growing more intense by the second, “w-what..”

“no- no, not this,” he stepped closer, his grip on your hand tightening as he brought it up to his chest. his thumb skimmed over your knuckles, over your chilled rings. his free hand flew towards your cheek, cupping your jawline with a gentle, featherlike touch. “i mean.. sneaking around. lying. i hate living like this. i hate pretending i don’t know you exist. i want you to be able to come to my premieres as my date. i want to be able to go to your runways with you. i’m tired of this, y/n.”

you held eye contact with him, as uncomfortable as it was. his words were like daggers, the look in his beautiful, doe-like eyes serving as salt to the wounds. “trust me.. i want all of those things too. more than anything.” you paused, looking down at your joined hands. “but you know it’s a bad idea. if we tell them, there’s no way they’ll react well.”

“y/n-”

“they’ll disown us. cut us off. plus, if your parents are anything like mine, they’ll be very public with all of it.” it broke your heart to shut down such a beautiful and heartfelt declaration on his part, especially since everything inside you was telling you to abandon everything and run away with him. you couldn’t bring yourself to face him as your eyes flooded with tears; you knew the look of heartbreak on his face would prompt you to break out into heavy sobs.

“so.. what are you saying?” he asked you timidly. he was never one to raise his voice or get angry with you- honestly you weren’t sure if you would ever find anyone else quite like that in your life.

“i- i don’t know,” you answered truthfully. you couldn’t even dream of breaking things off with him. call it what you want, selfishness, fear.. but you didn’t want to lose him. that’s why you felt the need to reassure him through your heavy tears and your warbled voice, “i could never dream of being with anyone else. but i also know.. i have nothing without my parents.”

it embarrassed you to admit out loud that you were much too dependent on your parents. they dictated everything for you, they provided you with so much.. they had ties in the industry. without their help, you would undoubtedly be jobless.

“that’s not true,” he whispered with furrowed eyebrows. “you’re smart. and strong. i know you’d be more than capable.”

“shua-“

“i have enough money to support the both of us for the rest of our lives,” he told you, cupping both of your cheeks then. his touch was firm, yet gentle. “and once this movie takes off..” his voice trailed off. “let’s not make any rash decisions tonight, okay?”

just then, his fingers moved under your jawline, propping your chin up and prompting you to look up at him. “okay?” he repeated with that same beautiful gentleness, his voice hushed.

it took you a moment, but you nodded. with the realization that while you didn’t have everything figured out right that second, the least you could do was slow down and enjoy what was right in front of you. or more accurately, who was right in front of you. “yeah. okay.” you linked your arms around his neck, your chin falling to rest on his shoulder.

you pulled away just enough to look in his eyes. he’d blinked away any semblance of tears before you could see them fall down his cheeks- yet they still had such a glow of kindness and warmth in them. at times, it felt like they spoke directly to you, conveying every beautiful sentiment the two of you shared between each other. love, adoration, trust.. then they were fluttering shut once you leaned in to press your lips against his.

you both sighed in unison, as if it had been years since you held each other, kissed each other. with that being said, the kiss grew more and more desperate by the second. you’d even pulled yourself away from the closet door you had previously been leaning against, opting to press your chest against his instead. distance truly made the heart fonder, you were coming to find.

your knees felt weak once his hands slid down your figure to rest over your hips for a moment, his fingers snaking towards the small of your bare back. you could have sworn you were seeing stars by the time his fingertips folded over the tiny laces and skimmed over the skin in silky motions. his touch was so familiar to you, yet it never failed to bring butterflies to your stomach and a heated tint to your cheeks.

“i like this dress,” he whispered to you between heated kisses. you could only hum in response, hands weaving through his fluffy, ungelled hair. he smirked, feeling nothing short of pride that he left you feeling speechless. “what? you don’t like it?”

“i’d rather be wearing it just for you,” you admitted while linking an arm around his waist. under his suede jacket, of course. you clung to him, craving, needing his warmth..

“i love the sound of that.” before he could take any riskier steps, he pulled his hands away from the small of your back, his palms gliding upwards to hold onto your clothed upper waist, instead. as tempted as he was, he was not about to have sex with you in the closet; he thought it felt incredibly disrespectful, especially considering the heart-to-heart you had moments before. always the gentleman.

once his lips met your neck, you tilted your head while your hands relaxed on his waist. you felt like time had stopped from the moment you stepped foot in the closet with joshua, like nothing else mattered except the two of you. along with that beautiful, wonderful feeling came the harsh reality that your parents were most likely searching the entire mansion for you. so, you promised yourself you’d give him just a few more minutes before you’d be the one to break the embrace.

he was timid with his kisses, careful not to get too carried away and leave any marks. even so, his lips left you tilting your head back against the nearest wall in bliss. “come over tonight, please. i can’t-”

joshua lifted his head up, his eyes locking with yours. he was clearly surprised to see that your offer from earlier that day still stood, oddly enough. before he could agree, his lips parting, the door swung open next to you. you felt the impact as it hit joshua, causing him to shudder- but the culprit was quick to apologize:

“sorry, man, didn’t see you there-” vernon muttered, stepping forward to gently push past joshua, most likely with the intention to grab his own coat. of course, until he saw you pressed up against the nearest wall with your arms wrapped tightly around joshua’s waist, the man you were supposed to be in a feud with. his eyes went wide, his jaw agape as he stood in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. “....y/n??”

—-------------------------------

needless to say, joshua didn’t come over to your place that night. you were both able to smooth things over with vernon before the party was over and luckily he agreed not to tell your parents, at least for the time being. joshua was the first to leave the closet, albeit reluctantly, leaving you to face your manager with a sheepish expression. he was disappointed in you, to say the least, offended, both on a professional and personal level.. but the important thing was that he swore he would be discreet.

you both agreed to meet for lunch the next day to discuss the important matter at hand, as well as your upcoming schedule. the pesto chicken sandwich placed in front of you hardly looked appetizing, given the severity of the situation. once your manager had found the table you reserved for the two of them, he sat down in front of you with his shoulders slumped. clearly he was just about as excited for this meeting as you were.

you were the first one to speak, flashing him that same awkward smile from the night before, “hey..”

“joshua? joshua hong?” you had to hand it to vernon: he went straight to the point more often than not.

you nodded your head, which felt heavier by the second. the weight and the severity of the situation caused an aching in your temples, one that you would have wished away hours ago if it were possible. “yeah..”

although he wouldn’t admit it out loud, vernon was grateful you took the liberty of ordering his sandwich for him. ham and swiss on rye.. you’d had his order memorized for years now. he took a bite of it, as if to drown his sorrows in the small sandwich. “i just- have so many questions. how did you guys even meet? aren’t you supposed to hate each other?”

“jihyo’s birthday party a few years back..” now that you admitted it out loud, you were in disbelief that the two of you were able to keep your relationship a secret for so long. only for all of the best efforts, the sneaking around, and the little white lies to be thrown down the drain at a stranger’s birthday party. “we got to talking and realized.. neither of the lies our parents told us about each other were true. that night he messaged me on instagram and.. one thing led to another.”

from the looks of it, vernon, himself, was starting to get a headache as you retold the events of your relationship to him. his palm went to his forehead, rubbing the skin with a heavy sigh of dread. “and.. just how have you managed to keep this a secret for so long? without my help?”

you shrugged your shoulders just as a pit began to form in your stomach. “luck, i guess?”

“let’s hope whoever blessed you with good luck is still feeling generous when your parents find out,” he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “and they will find out, y/n. it may have been me who found you guys in the closet last night, but the two of you can only keep up appearances for so long.

“imagine if it was mingyu who found you. or one of his parents. hell, one of your parents.”

you shuddered at the thought of your parents walking in on you making out with anyone in that closet, let alone the child of their sworn enemies. “you’re right. it was.. super irresponsible of us.” you paused. “are you saying.. we should just tell them?”

vernon swallowed the last bite of his sandwich, nodding his head in the process, “better than finding out through the media, don’t you think?”

“i guess.” you leaned back in your seat with a sigh. not for the first time, you envied the couple sitting a few tables across from you. they were strangers to you, but they seemed so.. happy. they didn’t have to worry about being seen together, make sure no one was looking before holding hands, secret “i love yous..” none of it. it didn’t seem fair to you.

as vernon noticed you sitting in quiet contemplation, he folded his arms across the table. “what are you thinking about?”

“vernon.. you’re fired.”

you could have sworn vernon’s eyes grew nearly twice their size. “wait a minute, wait a minute- what??!”

“listen! you’ve given me a lot to think about and.. you’re right. i have to tell them.” you cleared your throat. “we both know it’s not going to end well, so i’m saving you the public embarrassment in advance. and i’m quitting my job. as soon as possible.”

vernon’s features softened, his relief evident. you knew that your long term manager would be well off; he had several other clients in the business besides you. still, he seemed puzzled. “are you- are you sure? you’re giving up a lot, y/n. are you sure it’s worth it?”

as you reflected on your time as a model, the benefits and perks that you were lucky enough to receive, along with the cons on the other side of it- you realized you’d never been more confident in your decision before. you were young, there was plenty of time for you to choose a more meaningful path. you nodded, leaving enough cash on the table to pay for the two sandwiches before standing up.

“it’s definitely worth it,” you beamed. “i’ve gotta go make a phone call.”

———————————————

“it’s.. definitely risky.” joshua had his reservations about your proposal. he knew what your mother was like thanks to the stories you’d told him personally, which was why he found it all so.. commendable.

“what part of our relationship hasn’t been risky?” you countered while leaning into his chest. he’d finally taken you up on your invitation. the two of you were relaxing on your balcony, cuddling on the swing while soaking up the vanishing sunlight. you hadn’t let him leave your sight since the minute he walked through your front door; you wanted to take full advantage of his time there.

“true,” joshua let out an infectious laugh and the skin near his eyes crinkled, just like it did every time he smiled. truthfully, it was a trait of his that you’d found endearing since the moment you met him. his voice was hushed as his gaze shifted from the sunset ahead to you and he lifted a hand to cup your cheek. “is this really what you want?”

“more than anything.” you immediately reached for his free hand, both of yours holding it close to your heart. there was nothing but certainty in your tone as you spoke, the look of determination in your eyes only solidifying it. “maybe i can go back to school or something. my schedule’s clearing up pretty soon.”

you felt the gentle rumble in his chest as he chuckled, “you know i’ll take care of us. i wasn’t just saying that.”

“i know. but- i really need to do this. i feel like i’ve been missing out on so much.” you played with the rings adorning his fingers rather than meeting his eyes. your confession left you feeling bashful, even if you weren’t quite sure why. “but not anymore. i love you joshua, and i don’t want to have to live in fear anymore. i just want..you.”

those three beautiful words stood out to joshua and caused him to grin like a fool. all this time, it was as if the two of you knew fully well that you were in love and therefore, never felt the need to state it directly. your affection towards each other was unspoken at times, voicing itself in many more ways than one; stolen kisses behind curtains, brushing hands together in intimate discretion, risking discovery by supporting each other at premieres or press conferences.

but now.. those three words were out in the air, never to be taken back. not that either of you would dare to if you were given the opportunity, of course. personally, joshua felt as if he could shout it from the rooftops without a care in the world. “say that again,” he whispered to you.

you were quick to reply, your voice hushed to match his tone, “i love you.”

“i love you too.” as if to reiterate his words, he pressed his lips against yours just as the sun began to take refuge behind the large palm trees. it felt beautiful, picturesque, like a scene from one of his movies.

the rest of the night, you two never left each other’s embrace for more than a single minute, knowing that even if your parents lashed out at both of you, even if you were sure to face public scrutiny and humiliation, even if you were at risk for losing everything you’d worked so hard to build, you had each other. you would never part ways with each other again, and that was truly all that mattered.

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #joshua hong #joshua hong x reader #joshua hong x you #joshua hong fluff #i’m sorry if it’s bad #i’ve been working on this for way too long #it might seem a bit rushed lol #kim mingyu #hong jisoo #svt x reader #svt x you #joshua hong fanfic #seventeen au

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ode2rin · 1 year

Text

can you see right through me?

pairing. mikage reo x gn!reader

genre. fluffy fluff | pro-athlete!reo | established relationship | reo spoiling you (i mean it’s reo) | a light angst if you squint hard !!

in which: you see more behind reo’s gift-giving love language

“hey, love! look what i got!” reo called out, as soon as he entered the apartment.

no “i’m home” in a sing-song voice or “baby, where are you?” in a needy whine, like he usually does. instead, he was grinning - full on beaming, actually. it was evident how his voice sounded so excited, like he was dying to show you whatever he brought home.

you peered out from the kitchen to look at your beaming boyfriend. and literally, you felt your jaw drop from the sight of your lover carrying what seemed like a hundred amount of shopping bags in his toned arms. you bet it was heavy, as the veins in his arms were slightly popping.

reo had said he was going out to pick up a “few things” on the way home. these are totally not a few things. you knew reo had a habit of going overboard when it came to shopping. but this one, this one was an extreme shopping spree. he was practically bouncing with excitement as he showed you everything.

he began to rummage through the bags, pulling out various items with each sentence he spoke. you could see the excitement in his eyes, as he showed off his purchases. he held up a beautiful dress, admiring its design, “look at this, baby! the shop attendant said this one just came in and only two people have this in japan, can you believe that? well, i got the third one! i thought how good it would look on you then got it -” he paused for a moment, looking at you with an impish grin, “- i mean, i got it for you, my love.”

reo then pulled out a box of skincare products, “and look at these! i remembered you were running out of these last night, so i got a few for you. the salesperson said they're the only stocks they've got, so i had to get them all!”

reo then held up a pair of shoes, “oh, and these! i saw them and thought, ‘that’s the perfect pair for my love!’” he twirled them around. “and this one’s my favorite!” he exclaimed, holding up a beautiful necklace, “the color of the gems complement your skin so good! maybe let’s go out tomorrow, and try if you’ll like this? what do you think, love?”

he was rambling on and on, his excitement infectious. you couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm, even as you struggled to process everything he was saying. clothes, jewelry, shoes, skincare, and are those freaking boxes of limited edition nespresso capsules?

before you could even answer, reo's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered something else he had to show you. “oh! and i got us tickets to the premiere showing of the movie you told me about! i was hoping we could go? to make up for the movie night i missed.”

ah. now, you have an idea what this is all about.

reo and you have a weekly movie night, it started when you first moved in with him. it’s a tradition that you both cherish, a small but meaningful way to unwind and connect amidst the chaos of daily life. a tradition in your relationship that you both look forward to as it’s your sweet escape from the grueling responsibilities that comes with adulthood. it was nothing grand, it’s just you and reo, getting cozy on the couch of your shared abode, surrounded by pillows and blankets. sometimes he’ll pick out the movie, most of the time, he gives you the power to it. regardless of who picks the movie, you both lose yourselves in the story, laughing and crying and feeling all the emotions that the characters are experiencing. you share thoughts and opinions, discussing the plot twists and character arcs, and sometimes even acting out your favorite scenes together.

it’s a simple tradition, but it’s one that brings you both so much joy. and that’s why, when reo missed movie night 2 nights ago because of practice running late, he felt like he had let you down.

when he came home later that night, it was well past midnight and you had long since fallen asleep on the couch, the remnants of your popcorn and half-finished drinks still on the coffee table. but as he tiptoed in, trying not to wake you, he couldn't help but notice the soggy popcorn and feel a pang of guilt for missing your movie night. the morning after, he woke up early and was all over you, showering you with kisses and apologies for being late. you held him through it, playing with his hair and telling him that it was no big deal, that you understood how important his career was to him.

looking at it now, perhaps the assurance you gave was a bit insufficient to ease reo’s guilt to say the least. determined to lift off what he might be feeling, you turned off the stove and went to where your boyfriend was. he looked at you curiously as you cupped his face in your hands.

“thank you for being so thoughtful and buying me these, reo. i appreciate all of this baby, i do. but i know you. so spill my love, what is this all about, hmm?” you asked, staring at him, with a small smile as you let out a hum.

from then and there, reo felt like you’d seen right through him.

you’re right. reo, missing the movie night, lingered through his thoughts far longer than it should be. you said it was fine, so it should be fine for reo. except that it’s not.

a few moons ago, reo’s life was all easy they come, easy they go. it was the upside of being born into privilege. but when he chose to chart his own course, everything changed. nothing came easy anymore. he had to prove his existence to earn the things that mattered most. the soccer career that made him a star, and the love of his life - you, who brought him a happiness he never knew existed - he could only live this life because he proved himself worthy.

but what they don’t tell you about constantly proving your worth is how restless you grow at the slightest possibility of losing everything you've worked for.

reo felt that he had to make it up to you because he fears the notion that his one mistake could be the beginning of a pattern, a repetition of his rich yet absent parents' reckless lifestyle filled with empty apologies and unfulfilled promises. the weight of this realization petrified him, leaving him with a burning desire to make it up to you. so he did, in the only way he knew best - shower you with gifts.

and that basically sums up how reo went to an all out shopping spree. in his defense, he was only supposed to buy the skincare you ran out of. grab then leave, that was the plan. but things at the mall definitely escalated as reo passed by a designer boutique. before he knew it, he was walking out with shopping bags overflowing with designer clothes, shoes, and accessories.

apparently, your perceptive eyes caught on to this. at first, you thought it was just another day of reo being him, with his fondness of giving you gifts. but at the mention of the movie tickets, his scheme gave him away. and now he’s here, standing before you, face held by your soft hands.

reo couldn't bring himself to meet your eyes, so he focused on the marbled floor beneath his feet. “i...i wanted to make it up to you for missing movie night,” he stammered. “i know you said it was okay, but it wasn't okay for me. i feel like i let you down.” he struggled to articulate the knot of insecurity that had been building inside him since he missed the date. he struggled to tell you how it felt like a crack in the foundation of your relationship, and how terrified he was that it would widen into an irreparable chasm. “i’m sorry,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “i just wanted to show you how determined i am to make it up to you.”

your eyes softened as you took in his words. your hands instinctively reached up to gently brush away the hair covering his eyes. his big purple eyes that you love so much. it was one of the many few things that made you fall in love with him. you couldn't help but be drawn in by the deep purple hue of his eyes, so full of confidence and power when he was on the field, yet so tender and vulnerable in your presence.

“i must have been a superhero in my past life to be loved by someone like you, my sweet reo..” you chuckled at the cheesiest of the thought. he smiled at the sound of your laughter.

it was true though. he was charming, attentive, thoughtful, a gentleman through and through. he was everything and more. so to say that you were lucky to have him was the understatement of the century. it was as if having the moon and the stars align just for you, as if fate smiled at your direction. to be loved by someone like reo mikage was like being wrapped in a warm blanket of security, knowing that even the slightest misstep could cause him to worry about losing you. but it was that very worry that proved just how much he cherished your love, like a precious treasure that he held in the palm of his hand. who could ever leave someone like that? a fool, that’s who.

you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, your hand still caressing his cheek. then you pressed a kiss to his left cheek, on to his right, and finally to his lips. as you leaned in and brushed your lips against each of his features, a softness washed over you, the warmth of your affection for him filling every inch of your being. “i know that you felt bad, love. but you do know that i love you, right?” you murmured against his lips, “and missing our movie night doesn’t change a thing about that, baby. i love you for who you are, reo. not for what you do.”

as your words sunk in, reo felt like you had seen right through him. for so long, he had believed that his worth was tied to what he could offer, but you had shown him that he could be loved simply for being himself. the weight of that realization lifted from his shoulders, and he felt a rush of warmth spread through his body.

“how could you say things like that and expect me not to do everything for you?” he whispered, the love in his heart for you growing even stronger.

but you just smiled at him, your eyes filled with a tenderness that made his heart skip a beat. “i don't expect anything from you, my love,” you said softly. “just come home to me, and we'll figure everything out together.”

“that, i can promise to do everyday.”

in this home, he could just be reo, no longer compelled to prove his worth or live in fear of losing everything he had worked for. with you, he was enough.

“i’m sure you do.”

who could ever leave someone like reo mikage? a fool, that’s who. but who could stay? without a doubt, you could.

as you both settled into your evening skincare routine later that night, with no traces of any heaviness from what happened earlier, reo turned towards your side of the sink and asked, "can we still go to that premiere, love?" his eyes twinkled with excitement.

“only if you promise that you won’t do this again. baby, this is a lot! and that moisturizer, you brought enough to last me for months! what were you thinking?!” you exclaim, holding up the said moisturizer.

reo chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "i guess i got a little carried away."

“you definitely did. the amount of paper bags i had to fold was insane. if you’re hiding more, i would really smack you. i swear, reo mikage.”

reo gives you a mischievous grin, his eyes shining with amusement. "oh, i wouldn't dream of hiding anything from you, love." but he can't help but feel a twinge of guilt as he remembers the other bags he left in the car. no need to mention it now though. he'll just have to sneak out later and grab them when you're fast asleep.

note. PURE WORD VOMIT I AM: SORRY came up with this because i’m convinced mikage reo is an “archer” just like me fr ;) so this is my interpretation of the song esp the “do you see right through me?” !!

#☁️ my ode to you #mikage reo #reo mikage #mikage reo x reader #reo mikage x reader #mikage reo fluff #mikage reo x y/n #blue lock imagines #blue lock x reader #bllk imagines #bllk x reader #blue lock fluff

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hllywdwhre · 8 months

Text

Dress

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x fem!reader

Summary: A year’s worth of random memories between the two of you

Warnings: age gap (Cillian is current age, reader’s age is unspecified but of legal age), mentions of slut shaming, smut, light choking, unsafe sex (wrap it before you tap it)

MDNI

Word Count: 3656

Notes: This is NOT based on real life. This is an AU and we love Yvonne in this household. Also this is my first attempt at writing smut in literal years so I apologize if it’s not the best💀

Based on the song ‘Dress’ by Taylor Swift

Our secret moments in your crowded room

They got no idea about me and you

One hand gently placed on the middle of your back alerted you to his presence.

“You look stunning,” He said, low enough that no one else could overhear.

Luckily, your make-up artist had made sure you wore a full coverage foundation, as the blush tinting your cheeks would’ve been noticeable if not.

“You don’t look too shabby yourself,” you replied, glancing up at him with a small smile on your face.

You had been eyeing him the entire night, his salt-and-pepper hair hung around his face, only making his blue eyes pop due to the sharp contrast of the colors.

To anyone else, it would look like two co-stars speaking at the premiere of their movie. They wouldn’t see the way you two wanted to step closer to each other, to latch to each other’s hand, or share an excited and proud kiss.

There is an indentation in the shape of you

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

Cillian had made sure to take things slow with you. You were younger and he was the leading actor in the movie and he wanted to make sure there was no question about power imbalances. He made sure you were comfortable and that you knew he would’ve never used that power over you to force you into something you weren’t comfortable with. It was up to you to make the first moves… from the first kiss to the first of others.

The day after the night all of the clothes the two of you wore had been shed for the first time, you’d found extremely small bruises on your hips from his grip the night before.

“I didn’t realize I had… I’m sorry,” Cillian apologized, kissing your cheek softly as his fingers ghosted over the bruises.

“Don’t apologize. I rather like the marks and the memories they bring back,” you said, turning to him and kissing him.

All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation

My hands are shaking from holding back from you

All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting

My hands are shaking from all this

Your hands shook as you gave him the documents. Your character was supposed to be nervous, but the shaking of your hands went beyond your character.

You were surrounded by some of the greatest actors, and while you were no new actor yourself, it was still nerve wracking to stand in front of all of them, along with Chris, as they watched you. It was even more nerve wracking to have Cillian’s eyes following you — your character — as you entered the room and handed over the documents.

The shaking in your hands lessened once the scene was finished, but you still saw the way your tea wobbled just slightly when Cillian walked to you.

You wanted nothing more than to pull him close to you, but at this point, the two of you had only just begun talking. The flirty undertones were nothing near enough for you to feel confident enough making a move.

Say my name and everything just stops

I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

Your heart stuttered every time he said your real name and not your character's name. When he called your name this time it was no different.

“How are you?” He asked, joining by your side as you walked away from the restaurant.

Emily had seen some of your works and was a fan of them; she had made sure to include you when inviting other members out to dinners like the one that had just finished. This was one of the few times Cillian had agreed to join and hadn’t had a reason he needed to stay behind.

You weren’t sure if it was your imagination or not, but you thought his eyes lingered on the way the dress hugged your waist for a second longer than what would be seen as just looking you over.

Your pleasant conversation continued until you reached the front door of the guest house you were placed in until your part of the filming was completed.

“Green?” He questioned as his eyes trailed down your figure again and you smirked.

“Green has always been my favorite,” you said, feigning innocence.

“I’m sure it has… it’s starting to become my own,” he told you, one hand settling on your waist to bring you closer to him.

“You said that first bit like you don’t believe me, Murphy,” you teased as your arms came to wrap around his neck.

“Perhaps I don’t,” he replied. His forehead rested against yours, tone still light and teasing despite the tension and proximity.

“Well I can’t possibly reveal the truth,” you teased back.

“And what would that be?”

“That your agreeing with Robert’s comment about us seeming to become very close ‘best friends’ a couple days ago caused me a great deal of jealousy and I’ve noticed the way your eyes seem to linger when the costume department puts me in something green. I could never tell you that or the other truth.”

Carve your name into my bedpost

'Cause I don't want you like a best friend

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

Take it off

“What was the other truth?” He asked, slowing his thrusts to a teasing pace as his hands gripped the frame of the bed.

“What?” You asked, confused on what he meant as your mind was only clouded with the pleasure he made you feel.

“The other truth, from earlier,” he said again, his hips still moving at the agonizingly slow pace.

You blushed as you realized what he meant and at the thought of revealing the little secret, despite the fact you were both naked with him buried inside of you.

At your lack of response, he moved one hand to grip your thigh and push it towards your chest, allowing himself to be buried even deeper inside you. The action caused your eyes to roll back,

“The other truth, doll,” he prompted.

“I wore the dress for more than just the color. I knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off me once we’re alone and I wanted you to stop holding back,” you told him.

“You could have just told me, didn’t need to spend an entire night teasing me,” he said and began picking up the pace of his hips again, causing your head to drop back and a moan to leave your lips.

Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified

I'm spilling wine in the bathtub

You kiss my face and we're both drunk

Everyone thinks that they know us

But they know nothing about

Giggles filled the air as your glasses met in the bathtub you shared, the light pink liquid spilling over the sides.

“We have filming tomorrow and we’re both going to be incredibly hungover,” you said with a wide smile on your face.

“One of us will have to pretend to be okay. Most of the crew already has suspicions,” Cillian replied, still smiling.

“And what have they said about it?” You asked as you took another sip of wine, your interest peaked by his comment.

Cillian shook his head, a look of distaste taking over his features as some of the comments replayed in his mind.

“That bad?” You asked as your face fell.

“The comments we expected,” he replied as he took a large drink of wine.

“You’re lucky to be sleeping with a younger woman, but you need to watch out because I’m after fame and your money?” You asked him, your tone revealing that you already knew the answer.

Cillian nodded and your face fell further. You looked away from him and down at the wine in your glass.

“Do you think we’re moving too fast?” You asked.

The water sloshed around you as Cillian scooted himself closer to you, his finger coming underneath your chin and lifting your face to look him in the eyes.

“Everyone is going to have something to say. Even if we were sharing equally large roles and the exact same age.” He said in a firm voice.

You nodded in response as you knew he was right.

“They know nothing,” he said as he leaned in, kissing you softly.

Flashback when you met me

Your buzzcut and my hair bleached

You hadn’t stepped foot onto the set of “Oppenheimer” until a couple months after filming had begun, due to the nature of your smaller part. You played a wife to one of the scientists involved in the making of the atomic bomb and only had a couple lines, but you had captured Cillian’s eye on the first day.

After his divorce two years prior, he hadn’t tried looking for anyone else. He had focused on his kids and his career. You coming along and capturing his attention had been unexpected and he had tried to ignore the attraction he felt at first, only to fall victim to your charm during a break in filming on your first day on set.

A week later you two exchanged phone numbers. A month later and you two were sneaking around on set like you were children all over again. One of you would somehow sneak to the other after filming was complete for the day.

The first time he had fallen asleep at your place, the overnight stay being completely unplanned and you had awoken to hear him let out a surprised “fuck!” before he gathered up his things and left in a rush.

You still had another hour before you had to be on set and laid back down in bed, scrolling through your phone. Rolling over, you noticed the spot he had left was still warm and filled with his scent.

‘I hate this haircut so much. Way too short.’ He texted.

‘I hate this hair color. Way too blonde.’ You replied.

Even in my worst times

You could see the best of me

“It’s one simple fucking scene and I can’t get it right!” He shouted in frustration.

Cillian had shown up an hour prior, saying he needed your help running lines. He was supposed to film the scene where Oppenheimer brings the calculations to Einstein tomorrow and had been pressuring himself over it the entire week.

“It’s not simple though, Cill. You’ve been working nonstop and your character is facing a huge moral conflict in this scene that you have to manage to portray in a subtle way. You’re not just doing your best, you’re doing amazing,” you tell him, standing up and walking over to him.

You gently take the script from his hands and set it down then take his hand in yours to bring it to your lips, placing a soft kiss on his palm.

“I’m sorry for snapping,” he said, pulling you into a hug and kissing the top of your head.

“Don’t be. You’re allowed to be frustrated,” you replied as you wrapped your arms around him.

Flashback to my mistakes

My rebounds, my earthquakes

“I didn’t say I was proud of it,” Cillian said with a laugh.

“Two weeks?” You questioned and your own laughter followed, showing you weren’t holding it against him.

“I haven’t been single since I was 27, I went a little crazy,” he explained as if trying to defend himself.

“I’m not passing judgment, Cill… as long as you didn’t catch anything,” you teased, causing both of you to burst into a fit of giggles.

Even in my worst lies

You saw the truth in me

“A home wrecking whore,” you said through tears, slapping the magazine down in front of him, “we didn’t even know each other two years ago and somehow I’m the reason your marriage ended.”

Yours and Cillian’s relationship hadn’t even been confirmed and already the cruel rumors had started. It was one photo of the two of you leaving a cast dinner, cropped around to look like it was just the two of you and conveniently not showing the other actors that were trailing right behind you.

Cillian was standing with his arms around you in seconds while he placed kisses on the top of your head then on both of your cheeks.

“You know better than to listen to that… that… shit,” he said, words failing what he really wanted to call that article, “you’re the woman who came around at the exact moment you were supposed to.”

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

Light flickered into the room, Cillian’s arms were wrapped around your waist, and, for once, the sound of an alarm wasn’t what woke you up. You rolled over in his arms, facing his chest. Even at the small size he had to be for his role, you could still bury your head in his chest and curl into him.

He remained asleep as you situated yourself against him. You weren’t able to fall asleep again, but you didn’t mind. The peace that morning brought made all the sneaking around and rumors seem trivial.

My one and only, my lifeline

I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My hands shake, I can't explain this

Filming had wrapped a month ago and you and Cillian had both gone to your own separate homes. He had spent months with only phone calls to his kids to stay in contact with them and your own family had missed you. The two of you had made sure to stay in contact, phone calls made to each other when he was able to sneak away from his kids for a moment and once night had fallen.

This pattern lasted for only a couple weeks longer before you were planning a trip to Ireland and waking up back in his arms.

It wasn’t the sun that woke you up this time, though. It was the feeling of Cillian’s lips trailing down your neck and across your collarbone.

“Cill,” you hummed with a smile coming across your face.

“Missed that sound,” he said, moving to hover over you as his kisses and nips at your skin trailed down your chest.

“Thought you heard it enough last night,” you joked. Your hands trailed to his hair as his lips attached to your nipple, causing a rush of pleasure to wash over you.

“Never getting enough of that,” he replied and his mouth attached to the other as soon as the words left his mouth.

Another moan left your mouth and your hips pushed against his, causing him to chuckle.

“Seems like you’re not getting enough either.” His lips began trailing down your stomach, one of his hands running up and down your thigh as he moved lower.

“Seems like you should do something about that,” you teased.

He offered no verbal response and instead continued his trail down your stomach and hips. Your legs spread apart as he positioned himself in between them and added new love bites to the ones from the night before.

“Cillian, please,” you moaned out, your hands still in his hair and pushing your hips towards him.

“Say it again, love,” he commanded. Both of his hands wrapped around each of your thighs and he looked up towards you. His usual bright blue eyes were dark with lust and the look of hunger he held was enough to make your body shiver in anticipation.

“Please, Cillian, I need it,” you begged.

Your head dropped back as his tongue ran across your folds and offered you some amount of relief. You were convinced his favorite place in the world was with his head buried between your legs. The way his tongue danced between your lips, taking in all of your taste and moaning at your unique flavor. The grip you had on his hair tightened when his tongue pushed into you and began exploring every centimeter of you before curling up to nudge against the spot inside you that made your legs shake.

Your legs tried to close around his head, but the grip his hands held on your thighs kept you from doing so. One of his arms wrapped around your thigh and his finger traced circles over your clit. Jolts of pleasure rushed through you and your moans grew louder. They were a constant praise of his name that only seemed to egg him on in his actions.

You felt your high rapidly approaching and you let out a needy whine,

“Cill, please, don’t stop,” you mewled, your hips jerking against his face. There had been plenty of times where he would sense your climax approaching and would pull away in order to tease you until you were begging, but luckily for you he skipped the teasing and continued on.

He pushed his face impossibly closer to you, his tongue still working inside of you and pushing upwards to cause your eyes to roll back in your head while his finger continued rubbing circles on your clit.

When your climax washed over you, his head stayed buried between your legs and drank up everything you gave him. It wasn’t until your moans had turned to overstimulated whimpering that he pulled away from you and rose up to capture your lips in a kiss.

You could still taste yourself on him when his tongue slid into your mouth. Both of your bodies were pressed against each other, his chest pushing against yours and his hips grinding against yours. His cock was pressing against you, teasing both you and him as you felt the head of it sliding between your folds.

“You’re teasing yourself as much as you’re teasing me,” you mumbled into the kiss, causing him to chuckle.

“You’re right, but I love hearing your little moans when you beg for it,” he replied, pulling away and making eye contact with you with an expectant look on his face.

“But don’t my moans sound better when you’re actually inside of me?” You questioned.

He seemed to agree with you since he didn’t offer any verbal response and instead moved away from you, grabbed your hips, and quickly flipped you over.

In the couple weeks since Oppenheimer had finished filming, he had started to put back on weight… and apparently muscle as the movement seemed to be easy for him.

You rose to your knees and kept your chest pressed to the bed, arching your back and pushing back towards him,

“Please, Cill, need you,” you moaned out in that pathetic tone you knew he loved.

“I know you do, kitten, just came and you’re already soaked again,” he taunted, lining his cock up with your entrance and pushing inside of you, “feel so fucking good wrapped around me.”

“Feel so full with you inside me,” you moaned out and tangled your hands into the sheets.

Cillian’s hands came to rest on your hips, giving you brief flashbacks of the first time you had slept together and he had left bruises on your hips, though the thought quickly left your mind when he began moving his hips. He gave you only a moment before his grip tightened, his hips picked up pace, and he was bringing your hips back to meet his thrusts.

He had been able to read your body in ways no one else could since the very first time the two of you had been together. After the first couple thrusts he had changed the angle of his hips to hit your g-spot and cause your moans to heighten in volume.

“That’s right, kitten, let it out. No more sneaking around and having to keep your voice down. Let me hear those pretty little moans,” he coaxed, keeping a steady rhythm with his thrusts and making sure to repeatedly push against that spot inside of you.

A mixture of his name and swear words fell from your lips like a prayer. You could feel your second orgasm of the morning already approaching and you clenched around him, trying to give him some kind of warning as the only thing you seemed to be capable of thinking of was his name.

One of Cillian’s hands moved from your hip to around your throat, pulling you up so your back was pressed against his chest. His other hand wrapped around your hips, his fingers circling your clit to edge you on while he continued his thrusts into you,

“Cum for me. Wanna hear you moan my name as you cum wrapped around my cock,” he commanded.

Your head dropped back onto his shoulder as you came, your moans and his mixing together as your orgasm only spurred him on to reach his. After a couple more thrusts his grip on you loosened and he slowed his movements down as the two of you rode out your highs.

There is an indentation in the shape of you

…

Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo

Both of you laid back down on the bed, breathing heavily as you caught your breath. His arm wrapped around you and pulled you to him, kissing you softly for a moment before pulling away.

“You’ve made quite the mark on me, love” Cillian said, looking at you with a small smile.

A smile of your own crossed your face and a blush spread across your cheeks,

“I thought you left the marks on me,” you replied in a teasing tone, causing a small bit of laughter to leave his lips.

“Had to make sure it was mutual,” he replied in the same tone, leaning in to kiss you again.

“It definitely is,” you said with a smile against his lips.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x fem!reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian x y/n #cillian x fem!reader #cillian x reader #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut #Cillian Murphy x reader smut #Cillian Murphy x y/n smut

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evermoredeluxe · 2 months

Text

At The Victoria and Albert Museum in London! The exhibition is open from July 27, 2024 - September 8, 2024

📷: imyourdaisytv on X

Slide 1:

Outfit from The 1989 World Tour

Willow music video costume

“Taylor Swift” Liberty boots

Outfit for 2007 ACM “New Artist Party For A Cause”

Slide 2:

Cardigan from the cardigan music video

Dress used in the Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) photoshoot

Dress worn to The Eras Tour Movie premiere

From The Man music video

Slide 3:

Costume from the Bejeweled music video

Costume from the Fortnight music video

Shirt from the 2019 AMAs performance

Costume from the I Bet You Think About Me music video

Slide 4:

Costume from The Man music video

Hat worn during the Red (Taylor’s Version) photoshoot

Hat from the 22 music video

Outfit worn during The 1989 World Tour

Top Hat from the We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together performance at The Red Tour

Slide 5:

Outfit worn to the 2022 VMAs

Outfit from The Fearless Tour

Outfit from the reputation Stadium Tour

#taylor swift

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sweetprfct · 7 months

Text

High Infidelity

Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Did you really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? Did you really have to tell him how he brought you back to life?

Author's Note: Babe by Taylor Swift, High Infidelity by Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift, My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift, Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift. I don't know... I don't know... I don't know. My mind is all over the place the past week and needed to write this down for some distraction. I don't know... I never done a back to back series nor have written something like this, so yeah. Forgive me for all the trigger warnings. Everything is all so crazy. This is a very very hard thing to write because of past emotional abuse experiences in real life that still terrorizes me and maybe it's a letter for the past experience to let it go.

Disclaimer: 18+, emotional abuse, mention of harming, infidelity

(Please, please don't read this if it triggers you. I need you all to think hard about it before reading this one. This is a bit of a dark fic).

Wordcount: 3.2K

part one - part two - part three - part four - epilogue

“Late again?”

Your boyfriend, Eli, asked you the moment you entered the flat. You were kicking off your shoes by the front door, eyes full of exhaustion as you sighed. He was by the kitchen heating up some leftovers. You didn’t exactly understand how it was “late” because technically it was only 9pm.

“Yeah, the event went pretty late.” You replied.

You technically left the event early knowing that Eli would start asking where you were. That was how he was these days. Keeping count of everything you did.

You were technically not an official assistant in the team. You just started this job, and it was more of a paid internship that you applied to because you needed the money, and it paid really well. You worked for Joseph Quinn’s team. A British actor who got pushed into the limelight too fast after his appearance in Stranger Things.

Joe was nice. His team was nice and very organized and all you had to do was bring Joe’s things, get coffee, and help his team organize whatever they needed for Joe.

That was all.

Nothing too complicated.

Nothing for you to really complain about nor do something that could ruin this whole internship that you applied for.

Well, at least that was what you thought.

“That’s a nice dress.” Eli stepped out of the kitchen, his eyes studying you as he ate a piece of chicken.

For some reason, his eyes studying you like that made you feel angry and annoyed. It wasn’t like he was doing anything to you, but the tone of his voice was making you feel annoyed.

“Thanks. I’ll go freshen up.” You gave him a small smile, giving him a quick peck on the lips before heading down the hall.

“I’m sure many men were staring at you tonight.” Eli added his little comment that made you stop halfway from your steps and looked over your shoulder.

“I was just doing my job, assisting.” You reassured him before continuing down the hall and into your bedroom.

You weren’t going to lie. Your relationship with Eli for the past two years has been rough. He was constantly jealous, constantly making rude comments about what you wear and how you wore your makeup to the point where you had stopped putting makeup on. You had changed your whole closet to just jeans, t-shirt or jumpers. You changed your whole style and personality because you didn’t want any trouble from Eli. You didn’t want to disappoint him.

However, this new job of yours came with the responsibility of dressing up and wearing makeup when you accompany Joe through the many events or movie premieres. That made Eli squirm even more for the last four months whenever you came home wearing a nice dress and nice makeup. He would comment how the dress was too short or the dress was too revealing.

“I wore a jacket, don’t worry.” You would tell him.

“Next time, pick one that isn’t so revealing.” Eli would scoff. “You’re mine. You don’t need other men looking at you.”

You could feel the love in your relationship was slowly fading, and you didn’t know how to get out of it. You were too scared to do something about it. Terrified even what he could react or say towards this decision of yours if you ever decided to cut this off. Eli had been very aggressive towards his words to you and sometimes, even if he wouldn’t say something, you could see the disappointment all over his face. You were a people pleaser, and you were the kind of person who didn’t want any trouble, so you tried to give what he wanted most of the time.

It made you hide inside yourself even more. It made you feel insecure. It made you terrified of every decision you made because you didn’t want to upset him. You didn’t want to see that reaction on his face even if his lips were saying something else. It made you feel like you were walking on broken glass every time.

Sliding yourself under the covers next to Eli that night, you saw his eyes studying you the moment you entered the room and brushed your hair in front of your vanity. His eyes never left you until you laid next to him. He immediately moved himself close to you and pulled you in his arms, hugging you from behind.

“So, how many more events do you have to go to?” He asked.

You sighed, closing your eyes. Eli was never interested in your job. You knew he was asking about it, so he knew what he was expecting. By that, it meant he would be monitoring the outfits that you would wear and the people that would be around you in that event.

“Not sure.” You murmured. “I’ll let you know once my supervisor lets me know.”

Eli lets out a soft hum and kisses you on your cheek before turning you to face him and kisses you roughly on the lips, towering over you. For a second, you went with it and kissed him back, pushing your body against his and letting him have what he wanted. He lets his soft fingers slide the strap of your tank top, kissing your bare shoulder. His lips found the skin of your neck as he softly sucked onto the skin, a small gasp escaping your lips.

“Babe.” You whispered, slowly pulling away. “I’m tired. I’m early tomorrow.”

Eli sighed, letting himself laid back down on the bed next to you.

“You’re always tired.” He argued. “The last time we had sex was last week.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just tired today, and I have to get up early tomorrow.” You turned your back on him, closing your eyes.

“Right.” Eli said sarcastically, getting up from the bed.

You looked over your shoulder, sitting up on the bed as he made his way towards the door.

“No, c’mon. Don’t be so upset.” You said.

You could see it all over his eyes that was getting upset, and you knew if you didn’t do something about this, he wouldn’t talk to you for the next two days. He would make up an excuse that he was busy and that he would be with his friends.

“Come here.” You reached your hand out to him as he paused in his tracks and stared at your hand.

He gave you a small smile and walked towards the side of your bed, taking your hand in his as he kissed you hungrily and towered over you on the bed. You let him touch you in all the ways he wanted to, but you just felt numb. You couldn’t breathe as you stared into the white ceiling and kissed him back softly, letting his fingers brush against your burning skin. You felt disassociated as he kissed you hungrily and pushed himself inside of you.

You felt nothing but disgusted with yourself for being so weak.

That was how you have been feeling lately with your relationship. You felt trapped and you felt like a chain has been around your neck lately, and Eli was pulling it every chance he got.

“Hey, could you go to the coffee shop down the block to get everyone coffee?” Alex, Joe’s manager, asked, interrupting your thoughts the next day.

“Uh…sure.” Alex handed you a piece of paper with everyone’s orders.

Your job was always simple but as time went on, your interaction with certain people became more frequent. In the beginning, Joe couldn’t even look at you nor acknowledge you that much unless he was thanking you for bringing him the things he needed. Then, Alex and his team had gotten busier that the things in your list were starting to add up. Part of your job has been added to “make sure Joe is in this place at a certain time,” or “make sure Joe wears this suit instead of this.”

Then, there was the chore that Alex would give you to make sure that his collar, tie or buttons on his shirt was perfect before he stepped out of the red carpet.

“Do you enjoy your job?” Joe had asked you that one time when you had sat on the sofa of his dressing room, waiting for the rest of his team to arrive.

“Sure.” Your voice almost sounded so monotone that Joe couldn’t even believe your answer.

He sat there and tilted his head at you, one brow raised and waited for your real answer. You let out a deep breath, closing the magazine that you were reading and set it back on the table.

“I guess it’s okay. Couldn’t complain.” You shrugged.

Joe let out a soft understanding hum and focused his attention back to his phone, scrolling his time away. He was getting ready for his movie premiere, and you were there to make sure that everything he needed was there. That he looked perfect right before he stepped out of the red carpet.

Not that you hated your job but sometimes, it could get so repetitive that you looked bored after the events. The rest of Joe’s team would go and prepare whatever they needed to, and you would just make sure Joe was fine. That he didn’t need anything.

“Here.” Joe handed you a glass of martini at the after party of the premiere.

“No, thanks. I’m technically still working.”

“And looked bored.” Joe’s face was a little too close to yours as he whispered those words.

You hesitated, your eyes scanning the room trying to look for a sign of Alex. Joe couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head.

“They went home. So, technically you’re the only one left here.” Joe answered the question that you were asking in your head. “C’mon. You deserve it for working so hard all the time.”

Pursing your lips, you stared at the glass that Joe was holding before finally taking it from his hand and taking a sip of it. Joe smiled and took a sip of his own drink, his eyes scanning the room before falling back to you.

“Are you usually this quiet?” Joe asked.

“I’m just doing my job.” You answered, a small smile creeping up on Joe’s face. “I don’t want to interrupt anyone.”

“You’re not interrupting me.” Joe smiled, taking another sip of his drink.

You could tell he already had a few drinks before this conversation. You continued to drink the glass of martini in your hand and didn’t reply a word to what Joe said. You could tell the alcohol was making him a little bolder, and he was trying to flirt. You didn’t want to step into any boundaries because first of all, it was inappropriate, and you didn’t want to lose this job either.

“So, how long have you been here in London?” Joe asked.

“About two years.” Your answers were plain and simple as Joe continued to play 20 questions with you.

By the end of the night, you both seemed to open up to each other a little bit more, and you were able to learn Joe more personally. The thing was that you didn’t realize that night was going to be a start of something new between you and him because ever since that event, Joe’s attention was on you most of the time. He would gaze down at you and give you small smiles, while you would fix his collar or tie before he stepped out onto the red carpet.

Then, during after parties, you would be left to babysit Joe, and you would notice how his eyes would catch your eyes across the room. You sat in the corner and minded your own business, your focus on your phone. However, Joe would walk towards you and catch your attention.

“Wanna dance?” Joe held out his hand.

You bit your lower lip and said, “I don’t dance, sorry.”

Joe sighed and sat next to you, his eyes lingering on the screen of your work phone.

“Whatever Alex is telling you to do can wait ‘til tomorrow.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You don’t have a full to-do list.”

Joe laughed softly, raising his brow at you. “A full to-do list? I’m the one who has to stand in front of those cameras and do the interviews, remember?”

Joe had a point.

Though, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “True.”

You and Joe would talk for the rest of the night. You both would laugh and tease each other. You both would start talking about personal things, and he somehow was able to understand you well. It made your heart swell a little bit.

It wasn’t right that you felt this way towards Joe because you were in a relationship. You could just easily let Joe know that you weren’t single and that whatever flirty tricks he was trying to do to you, it wouldn’t work. However, you kept dancing around that subject. You didn’t bother bringing that subject up and towards the end of the night, you both would start flirting a little bit more. Besides the fact that you were in a relationship, you also didn’t want to do anything unprofessional or inappropriate because at the end of the night, you were technically still working for Joe’s team and Joe. So, you tried your best not to lead him on.

That was until you had come home one night and found Eli waiting for you in the living room. You arrived home half an hour past nine, and he already looked upset the moment you had stepped inside the flat.

“Where have you been?” Eli’s tone of voice wasn’t what you liked at all.

“I’m sorry, I had to finish some things. I texted you I was going to be late.” You explained.

“No, you didn’t.” Eli argued.

“Yes, I did. Didn’t you get my message?” You knitted your brows, making sure your voice was calm because you didn’t want to upset him even more.

You watched Eli pick up his phone from the coffee table and looked down at it and let out a deep breath.

“You know, maybe you should look for another job if they keep making you stay up this late.”

You slid your coat off and hung it on the coat hanger and said, “It’s only 9:30. It’s not that late, Eli.”

You heard Eli scoff and shook his head. “So, you'd rather be with them than with me?”

You were confused.

Where did that subject came from?

You didn’t understand why Eli was acting like this. Shouldn’t he be more supportive about your career? Didn’t you tell him that you needed this job because you needed the money? What else did you have to say or do to make sure he would stop this jealousy thing because it was making you so exhausted.

“I… I didn’t say that.” You murmured.

“Maybe you just don’t love me the way I love you. Just tell me, and it’s fine. I’ll happily go.” Eli shrugged, looking down at the floor.

You walked towards him, taking his hands in yours. The guilt inside of you brewed in your stomach but at the same time, you wanted to vomit.

“I do love you. I told you that, remember? I love you.”

You felt nothing.

“Then, find another job… for me.” Eli looked into your eyes.

“I… I can’t. It’s hard to look for another job out there and this pays me well, while I’m able to learn the entertainment industry. You know how much I want a career in that industry.”

Eli’s eyes suddenly turned glum again. He slid his hands away from yours and exhaled sharply.

“Why would you even want to be in that industry? So you could be naked and show everyone that?”

You couldn’t understand what he was saying. You couldn't understand why he was acting like this.

“You know that’s not true!” You argued.

You were exhausted from explaining yourself over and over again, and he just didn’t believe you. You felt like whatever you did was never enough for him. Tears started welling up in your eyes as you watched Eli grab his car keys.

“Wh…Where are you going?” Your voice stuttered, terrified of what he might do.

“Obviously, you don’t love me. I mean… no one loves me, so what’s the point, right?”

You grabbed his hand, trying to take the keys away, but he had his hand in a fist as he tried to slide his hand away from your grip.

“No, stop! Please.” You begged, tears rolling down your cheeks. “Don’t do this.”

“If you love me, you’d do this for me.” Eli replied, his eyes hardened as he stared at you.

You didn’t say a word because what he was asking of you was impossible. You already had lost yourself and your dignity. Your job at the moment was the only thing that you have that could maybe help you get back up again. After a few seconds of not replying, Eli pulled his wrist away from your grip, shaking his head.

“If you find me dead on the road then that’s on you.” He stated before walking out the front door.

“Eli!” You cried out, running out the door, but it was too late as he had already gotten in the car and drove off.

Going back inside the flat, you laid on your bed that night, sobbing and questioning as to how you have gotten yourself into this situation. Questioning every decision you made as to why you were too weak to break this off.

What if you break this thing off, and Eli would actually harm himself? It would be all your fault like he said. What if no one could love you after this? What about the happy memories that the two of you had at the beginning? What if you would regret it at the end for letting him go? You knew you were the only one that he had left in his life. You couldn’t do that to him either. You couldn’t easily just get out.

You were trapped.

Stuck.

Frozen.

Around midnight, Eli had come back home. You weren’t asleep when he had entered the bedroom, but you had your eyes closed. How could you sleep after tonight? How were you able to have a peace of mind if he was out there? How would you know that he didn’t do anything to himself? It would be all your fault if something happened to him.

You just couldn’t shut your mouth and agreed with what he was asking, couldn’t you?

Feeling his arms wrapped around your torso, you felt him nuzzling your hair. You didn’t move. You couldn’t move. You knew he wasn’t going to apologize, so you didn’t try to hope for that. Eventually, he had fallen asleep, holding you that night. A tear rolled down your cheek as you covered your mouth with the palm of your hand to block out your sobs, so he wouldn’t wake up.

At this point, you didn’t know who you were anymore.

You just felt numb and lost, choking in your own tears.

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @sunvick @eddies-acousticguitar @demonsanddemogorgons @joesquinns @mmunson86 @ghostinthebackofyourhead @corrodedcoffincumslut @figmentofquinn @tlclick73 @browneyes8288 @bylermaxmayfield @ali-r3n @ficsbypix @capricornrisingsstuff @missonlypost @ali-in-w0nderland @amberolivia666 @lalalala-melmosworld @niallersfreckles @nanas-lasagna @emma77645 @indulgence-be-thy-name @readergf

#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joe Quinn x Fem!Reader #Joseph Quinn Fanfics #Joe Quinn Fanfics #Joseph Quinn rpf #Joe Quinn rpf #High Infidelity #moondustpugh #part one #sweetprfct

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hayleythesugarbowl · 1 year

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Could you maybe do headcanons for a female, American reader dating James mcavoy? 💖

james mcavoy x reader headcanons

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

a/n: hope you enjoy these little headcanons love!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dating james would include…

he first met you at an event for one of his movies

you saw each other from across the room and after a wink and a head tilt saying ‘you wanna get out of here?’ the rest is history

like alexa play enchanted (taylor’s version) by taylor swift

you drink so much tea together

and he makes fun of you for that ‘weak watery, american stuff’

whispering cheeky little things in your ear 🤭

so many inside jokes

rubs your back

he takes you to all of his premiers and throughout all of his interviews he just can’t wait to be done and spend the evening with you

everything you do makes him laugh and he’s just so amused by you

breakfast in bed

his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner party

giving you his coat to where over your dress

he took you back to Scotland once to show you all of his favorite places

you and michael are good friends obviously

your name in his phone is ‘my love’

neck kisses

you guys play just dance and you win every time

he talks big game but he’s definitely the little spoon

except for when he’s on top because ‘if anybody’s giving…’

if you got that reference ily

aftercare KING

he’s so gentle with you it’s adorable

y’know the ‘she fell first but he fell harder’ trope?

that’s you guys

always holding your hand and playing with your rings if you’re wearing any

he just loves you so much and you guys are so happy together <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope you enjoyed this babes!! have a wonderful day <3🎀🪩

#james mcavoy #james mcavoy x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #headcanon #x reader #michael fassbender

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jayswritings13 · 7 months

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Hazbin/Helluva: Asking to go to the Eras tour/Barbie movie

Note: Can't ever forget girl summer of 2023💖

💗Masterlist | AO3

Charlie & Vaggie have been waiting and waiting to see the Barbie movie since it was announced. Charlie has had your outfits planned months in advance and Vaggie helped decorate part of the hotel for the premiere night, turning the hotel into a Barbie dream house. It has been months and the three of you are still finding glitter on the main entrance carpet.

Alastor is absolutely against any music that does not involve jazz. He refuses to even play into the idea of going with you, which you expected. Though he does find it sickeningly nice of you ask, sweetheart.

Husk immediately tells you no, while looking up showing times for the Barbie movie. He buys the tickets after hearing enough of you talking and talking about it. He grumbled the whole way in, but you caught him laughing and invested in the movie, despite what he says.

Angel Dust bought the Eras tour tickets before you could even suggest going. He is so fucking hyped. He expects you to dress up in your favorite era and you better know all the goddamn words, bitch. He will cry if you make friendship bracelets with him and share them.

Sir Pentious is confused mainly. He's tried to go to Angel and have him explain this Taylor Swift and the Eras, but cannot seem to understand it all. He wanted to impress you with his knowledge after you asked him to go with you. It's cute, even if he isn't getting it.

Lucifer had fucking tickets before they were announced. He surprised you with them, a bright smirk on his face. He knew how much you wanted these and he is more than happy to do whatever he needs to do to ensure that you have a great time.

Vox wants so badly to be Reputation, but he is so 1989. He is all for this concert for the publicity and VIP treatment. Also, just to splurge some money on you. Okay, a lot of money. But, he puts his foot down at being forced to dress up as 1989 or Speak Now. He wants to be Reputation and just let him have it, damn it.

Velvette has been planning her fucking outfits since the tour was announced. She's not that into Taylor whatever, but she wasn't stupid and knew how much of an Internet sensation this was gonna be. She had to go, and if she was, might as well bring you along.

Adam laughs in your face. He can't believe that you would honestly fucking suggest going to see Taylor Swift with him. He makes fun of you for thinking that that was a smart move, but begrudgingly goes with you anyway. But, you fucking owe him, big time.

Lute would rather see Oppenheimer than Barbie. She tries everything to convince you to drop the Barbie movie from the Barbenheimer movie marathon you suggested, but no dice. Once you offered to see Oppenheimer more than once and a few other movies that she wanted to see, does Lute actually join you for the Barbie movie.

Blitzo is fucking pumped for this concert. Anything for an excuse for him to dress slutty and get drunk is fine with him. Besides, hearing drunk Blitzo try and sing long to the words, but get them all wrong is so funny and precious. He was not happy at how much you recorded it for blackmail, but also proud because same.

Moxxie & Millie were more than excited to go with you, planning your outfits all together so that none of you wore the same era. Although, you definitely couldn't dress up as Lover or Reputation because those were M&Ms and you couldn't pry it from their cold, dead hands.

Loona is not like other girls©, so she immediately scoffs when you genuinely suggest going to see the Barbie movie. She told you that she would never go in a million fucking years. However, after some persuasion on your end, Loona at least agreed to watch the first 30 minutes before she would walk out and find another movie.

Stolas is over the moon that you want to see Barbie with him. He's been hearing about it, but wasn't too interested in it all that much. Well, until you asked him to go with you. He immediately began to get his outfit together in the spirit of the Disco dance sequence of the movie. It was fucking amazing.

Ozzie & Fizzeroli were more excited than you for the concert. Ozzie had everything taken care of for both Fizz and you. Worried about what you're gonna wear? Don't worry, Ozzie's assistant has been gathering your outfits for weeks, with Ozzie s final approval before revealing it to you both. All you and Fizz had to worry about was having fun.

Verosika Mayday has been waiting for this movie for months. She denied it, but you noticed how she sent you all the Barbie memes and behind the scenes stuff. If you don't go all out and dress up, she doesn't know who you are and will sit on the other side of the theater.

Striker had no clue what the fuck you were babbling about. So, he looked into it, and was not fucking thrilled about it. But when he bought tickets to Taylor Swift, the grin on your face was well worth the 3+ hours of pure 'torture' he was going to endure.

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fancyschmancyopinions · 2 months

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EMILY BLUNT at the 35th Annual Producers Guild Awards on February 25th 2024 wearing OSCAR DE LA RENTA

This dress was very reminiscent of Taylor Swift’s dress from the Eras movie premiere, which I believe was also Oscar de la Renta.

I’m not sure I loved this shade of blue on Emily. It felt just a bit too bright and overwhelming. It’s a gorgeous color but I think I would’ve liked something softer. I really loved the little cutouts of the dress. It was such a pretty detail, and the silhouette was great.

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shinycollarboneapologist · 1 year

Text

illicit affairs

(pt 2 of my self proclaimed taylor swift verse)

content: 18+ MINORS DNI, p in v, unprotected sex! (be smart babies) more semi-public sex because you and matty are insatiable, alcohol consumption, more miscommunication and an obviously jealous matty and reader.

matty is sick to his stomach.

well not literally. he’s a bit dramatic in that sense; as he’s been told multiple times by his mates, family members (both close and estranged), the internet, his fans, that random cashier at tesco, and you. god, how all of his thoughts turn back to you. he’s intoxicated by you, and can feel your presence everywhere he goes. and now, he’s forced to watch you curl up with some poser on this god-forsaken red carpet.

he knows it's all a stunt for the movie you’re in. you had mentioned it the last time you were in town, almost as if you were warning him in a sense seeing as he and george were helping with the soundtracking and all. you were adamant that he not be blindsided. you didn’t have to do that. you weren’t his. he wasn’t yours. it was as simple as that.

knowing that it's all a false narrative doesn’t dull the ache in his chest as he watches you wrap yourself around your co-star. you’re kissing his cheek and beaming up at him. it feels like a knife directly to his gut, but also sends fire running through his veins. it's relentless. over and over. his stomach is twisting and he very well could be sick.

that’s not the way to make an entrance to a movie premiere, though. and he’s sure that the interviewer would rather him not empty the contents of his stomach on her designer heels. so he’s chalking it all up to him being dramatic, and he tries his best not to think about the way your co-star (what was his name? will? sam? not that he even cares, he just wants to be cordial when you inevitably introduce him.), is dipping his head down into your neck and whispering something in your ear. whatever he’s said sends you into a fit of laughter, giggles ringing through the air. matty’s gut binds in jealousy. and it is sick the way his subconscious reminds him that you’re not his. you never were.

those late nights in parking lots were a thing of the past, small little luminescent moments showcasing what could have been. what should have been? he feels the bile rise to his throat as you and what’s-his-name begin walking towards where the group is situated on the carpet. he tenses.

it isn’t until he hears the interviewer welcoming the both of you over that he turns his head up to meet your eyes. you’re a vision in anything you wear, he’s certain of it, but this dress looks as if it was made for you. it hugs your body in ways that he can only dream of doing himself.

“hi everyone,” you breathe out shakily, a small giddy laugh falling from your lips. the guys boast their own “hellos”. all except matty who stands there, eyes having a hard time moving from yours. he’s going to chalk it all up to nerves and red-carpet fright when the guys give him grief over it later. but in reality, he can’t even think straight. not when you’re standing here, looking like that and wrapped around your co-star's arm like a pair of old-hollywood lovers. he’s nauseated.

“it's so wonderful to see you both! how are you guys feeling making your red carpet debut as a couple?” the interviewer is beaming. but all you can focus on is matty. he’s so close to you. you can smell the remnants of a cigarette and his aftershave in the air. the suit he’s wearing looks perfectly tailored and he’s got his typical sunglasses situated on his nose. he looks amazing. but all the radio silence is confusing following you telling him about the stunt relationship you were entering into.

you let your costar, josh, take the lead on answering the questions. the small shooters of alcohol you both downed on the ride over to the theatre had made it easier to pretend to be a couple, and they sure as hell make it easier to be this close to matty and not be able to do anything about it. josh’s arm is still wrapped tightly around your waist, and matty’s eyes are still burning a hole into your face. you would feel his stare anywhere and it takes everything in you to not do something about the way your stomach is burning with pent-up desire for him. you’re supposed to be mad at him and loved up on your costar, but you know deep down that the way you and matty are looking at each other is going to raise the eyebrows of those with trained eyes. it’ll be plastered on some gossip twitter account by tomorrow morning.

that’s why you two usually left your illicit affairs behind closed doors and under the covers or in desolate parking lots at odd hours of the night. places where you would lie to your friends about your locations, where no cameras could pierce through and disrupt the haven you two had made for each other. you know you’re making out your four am “you up?” texts between you and matty out to be a lot more romantic than they are. but there’s something about the way he’s looking at you that makes you want to act out the unspeakable things you’ve been thinking.

when the hustle and bustle of the red carpet is over and the movie’s end credits have finally echoed out throughout the theatre, you find yourself tucked into the corner of the after-party. you’ve been fielding questions about your newfound “relationship” with josh all night, slightly irritated that no one’s cared to ask much about the movie or your part in it. its tiring and leaves you feeling unsettled. all of the happiness you’ve felt since walking in here has almost left your body, especially as your trained eyes are keyed in on a certain lead singer chatting up a cocktail waitress.

your heeled foot is tapping on the floor almost impatiently. you watch indignantly as the two of them laugh and smile at each other. it sends a chill down your spine as your eyes bore into the side of matty’s head. there’s venom in your stare, and you’re out for some form of vengeance. his eyes drift over towards you, a firm smirk on his plush lips, before he’s diving back into the conversation with the woman in front of him. you don’t even realize the way your manicured nails are digging into the sensitive skin at your palms until a sharp sting shoots from those nerves up to your brain. you look down and stare at the indents on your skin, huffing to yourself.

two can play that game, but you’re not even sure you want to play anymore.

you’re off to find solace in someplace else, any place else. figure crossing in his line of sight. you feel his eyes follow you. the air shifts and there’s an unspoken yet undeniable understanding between the two of you. you watch from your peripheral as he excuses himself from the conversation. your pace quickens as you make sharp turns and brash decisions that lead you to the long, empty hallway near the lavatories.

matty is hot on your heels and you’re both giggling to each other like two people who had gotten away with murder. you can’t even bring yourself to care that someone might have seen you both leave together. it takes only a second before he’s got you pressed up against the wall directly next to the bathroom. his lips crash into yours and you let out a low moan of contentment, arms looping loosely around his neck as his own feverish hands begin exploring your body over your dress. he’s got you right where he wants you; pressed up against him and feeling you up through that dress that he’s been fantasizing taking you out of all goddamned night.

“fucking need you so bad. can you feel it?” he groans against your lips, hips pressing into yours.

you’re nodding, grinding your hips back into his. his hips stutter a bit against yours, teeth catching your bottom lip and tugging at it. the whine you let out is sinful music to his ears and he’s willing to risk it all and just take you in the middle of the hallway.

“just fuck me already,” you purr against his lips. he’s reluctantly pulling away from your lips, pressing a soft kiss to your nose as he drags you into the empty bathroom.

the door is locked behind him.

and that’s when you pounce. your lips are melded with his again, fingers combing through his hair. you tug gently at it, wanting nothing more than to `illicit some kind of reaction from him. you get what you were after, his lips vibrating against your own. his nails dig into your hips through the thin material of your dress.

he’s growing impatient though, and the time is ticking. people are going to notice your absence. his lithe fingers trail up your thighs and then your torso. you’re shuddering against him. finally, he unties the straps of your dress and pulls down the top. matty pulls away again. your lips are chasing after his, a soft laugh coming from deep in his chest.

he sighs at the sight of you bare breasts, head dipping down to press his lips to the soft skin languorously. matty’s lips wrap around one of your nipples, his free hand coming up to cup and pinch at your other breast. he sucks gently on the erect bud, teeth grazing ever so slightly. you’re dizzy and it feels like someone’s raised the temperature of the room about ten degrees since you both entered. you moan out, albeit a bit loud for your location, soaking in the pleasure that’s finally radiating through your veins.

your own hands get busy reaching down and undoing his belt. you make quick of the button of his trousers, reaching up to lick at your hand before you’re dipping it below the waistband of his boxers. your fingers curl around the base of his cock. he all but shudders at the feeling, a low throaty moan reverberating over your skin with each stroke. matty’s eyes shift up hazily to meet yours. you’re sure you could come on the spot from that look alone. his eyes are half-lidded, pupils are blown out with lust. he pulls back from your chest after one last nip to your tender nipple.

“need to be inside of you,” his words stumble out of his lips, hips bucking into your hand that’s still working over his cock. your thumb swipes over the sensitive tip and he all but loses it. he growls, hoisting you over his shoulder and shuffling the two of you toward the marble countertop. it’s a beautiful piece, and he’s about to desecrate you on it.

your hands grab at his boxers, shoving the material down. matty’s pushing the material of your dress up past the curvature of your ass, fingers dragging the crotch of your panties to the side. he firmly grasps the base of his cock in his hands, letting the tip drag up and down your slick folds. he plunges himself into you with little to no warning. a loud moan falls from your lips, you’re grabbing onto his shoulders.

“gotta be quiet, baby. don’t want anyone to come find us, do we?”

his lips attach themselves to your neck almost immediately. your head is rolling back, thumping against the mirror as he sucks and nips and soothes the sensitive area at the base of your throat. he’s everywhere; groaning against your skin with his arms holding you close to him. he’s inside of you. he’s intoxicating, more so than any cocktail you could have binged on that night.

“you... fuck.. you didn’t answer my calls,” you murmur out, biting back moan after moan as his hips slam into yours harder. you know its not the place or the time for this. but this is the one instance where you’ve got him right where you want him. he isn’t about to just leave you there. at least you hope he won’t. it's the first thing you’ve uttered to him other than the occasional whimper of his name since entering the bathroom. your hands find purchase on the edge of the counter, white knuckles as you grip hard onto it in an attempt to not fly into the wall behind you.

“didn’t have anything to say,” he scoffs.

“you always have something to say,” you retort.

“are we going to converse about our lack of communication or am i allowed to continue fucking you within an inch of your life?”

“is that what you’re doing?”

“brat.” he all but growls out. his hands grip your hips, small crescent indents left in the wake of his nails. matty’s thrusts increase in intensity and speed and your rebuttal is caught in your throat in an almost too-loud whine. your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, ankles locking behind his back. he’s shifting his hips up a bit and that’s when he finds it. you know for a fact that he knows your body better than yourself, and light years better than anyone else you’ve ever been with. your eyes are rolling back into your head, its hard to ignore the smirk that seems permanently etched onto his lips; swollen and rouged from your own doing.

“thats the spot, isn’t it? hm? tell me how it feels, baby,” he’s grunting and groaning in your ear. matty’s tempting you, testing you. a lewd moan falls from your lips as he nips at your earlobe, “hm? didn’t quite hear you, baby. c’mon, let me hear it.” matty slams his hips into yours, his thrusts punctuating his words.

“feels so good. you’re so good,” you all but wail at him. the loud shriek that leaves your lips is enough to fuel him on. the tip of his cock is piercing that spot over and over again, leaving matty as the only thing on your mind. he’s all consuming with his eyes locked on yours and his hand coming up to caress your cheek, a soft comparison to the onslaught of his hips rutting against you.

matty brings a hand between you both, his thumb seeking solace on your clit as he grins down at you, “that wasn’t so hard, huh?”

you’re trying your best to glower at him, but the way he’s filling you, the way he’s touching you, you can hardly even catch your breath. if it wasn’t for his other hand gripping onto your hip, you’re sure you would be thrashing around underneath him. the coil in the pit of your stomach is getting tighter and tighter and you feel as if you’re about to burst. he’s all-encompassing, everywhere all at once. without so much as a warning to matty, or yourself for that matter, the coil breaks and you’re coming around him. hands reaching up to grip onto his shoulders as you lose yourself in the pleasure, loud moans falling from your lips.

a shocked sob falls from matty’s lips as his eyes rake over your body, watching as you arch and moan and whine. he’s not sure he’s seen anything as beautiful as the sight laid out in from of him. his hips stutter as he continues drilling into you. his thumb doesn’t halt on your clit and you’re pretty sure you’re seeing stars as you convulse around him. the pleasure is white hot, searing through your veins. you feel the coil wind up tight in the pit of your stomach again, unbashful whines of pleasure falling from your lips once more.

“think you got one more in there for me, pretty baby?” his unoccupied hand comes up to cup at your cheek, the complete antithesis of what he’s perpetrating between your legs. you can tell he’s close by the way his voice tolls throughout the room; sounding completely strained as he just barely can hold back his own inevitable albeit pleasurable end. matty’s working you harder and faster than before, chasing after your second climax before he’s even had a chance at his own. the epitome of a modern-day gentleman.

“fuck, please,” you whimper out, feeling yourself teeter over the edge again. he’s watching you, mouth agape, and allowing his sinister cries of pleasure to escape now. you’ve both got no care in the world, the only thing stuck in your mind is the animalistic drive to fall into your pleasure once more.

“give it to me, baby. wanna feel you again. c’mon,” he’s practically whining as he drills into you. you’re gripping hard onto his shoulders, head rolling back, and barring your neck to him. the desire for him to lean forward and liter your neck with the remnants of him is strong, but he knows the repercussions of his actions for the both of you.

the fucked out moans coming from your throat send him into an indulgent fury. he wants nothing more than to feel you convulse and writhe around him. if he had it his way, he would never leave this spot; cock piercing through your cunt with such fervor. he loves watching you come, loves making you come.

“i’m right there,” you plead, nails digging into his skin. he feels the bite from your nails through the material of his dress shirt and it only pushes him to practically drag you down onto his cock, over and over and over and over and-

the pleasure rips through your veins, it's stronger than the last time. you pleasure-filled sobs of his name are the only thing that can be heard, aside from the slapping of skin as he works you through this blissful climax. he’s not far behind you, hips coming to a faltering stop as he spills inside of you with a loud cry.

you’re both breathing heavily, chests rising and falling and sticky with sweat and god only knows what else. your body is shuddering with the aftershocks. his forehead presses down onto yours and you can’t help but smile up at him through baited breaths. matty returns the gesture, leaning down to smash his lips into yours. the kiss is more controlled then the last one, there’s something more behind it. something you can’t quite put your finger on.

after you both wordlessly fix your clothes and clean up the mess you’ve made, it feels a bit tense between you. like all of that pining and desperation, all of the pleasure and satiation has led to its climax coming straight for the both of you. there’s so much you want to say to him, so much lingering in the sticky air. but you bite your tongue.

little do you know that he’s teetering right on the edge of falling from this mercurial high you’ve entranced him in. matty wants nothing more than to expose his true feelings to you, but much like yourself, he stops before he can. leaving you with one last, lingering and addictive kiss before he’s opening the door for you and letting you out into the much cooler hallway.

not much is spoken as you return to the main affair.

the party has begun to wind down quite a bit and you’re about to ask matty what his plans are later when you realize his looming presence is absent from next to you. you blink back the tears that begin to sting at the sides of your eyes. you’re fighting back the impending thoughts in your brain as you walk yourself over to josh who’s just as much ready to head out as you. part of you wants to find matty, tell him how much it hurt to be abandoned like that. but you know this wasn’t his thing, or at least you assumed. from the first longing stare across the room, to the most recent illicit meeting behind the bathroom door, you’re inevitably his. you can’t tell him though, because there’s no way he feels the same. you’re left a godforsaken mess with erratic thoughts and quiet sobs falling from your mouth, arm curled around josh’s as he leads you outside.

matty’s watching from the corner of the room, nursing a drink that he has no interest in consuming. he’s going to see the pictures of you leaving with josh tomorrow, knowing fully well that only minutes prior he had you contorted on top of a bathroom counter and writhing for him. he’s pretty sure his cum is still dripping down your thigh. the smug thoughts don’t dull the ache he has in his chest though. no matter how many times he reminds himself that the relationship between you and your co-star is contractual, it doesn’t help. because he’s then reminded of your radiant, effervescent being and knows just how easy it is to actually fall in love with you.

he’s nothing more than an idiotic mess when it comes to you.

you see, that’s the problem with illicit affairs. they always leave someone, in this case, two people, wanting more and ruining themselves a million little times.

#my writing.#matty healy x reader smut #matty healy x reader #matty healy smut #matty healy one shot #matty healy fanfic #i am going to hell for thsi #me loading this into grammarly #the ai there definitely needs to go to therapy or something #maybe i need to go to therapy also SJGLFDJG #✏️ - matty.

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