#tartu will get what's coming okay

[estonian-is-horrible]

Fine, fine!!! I'm working on it!!! It's all Paide then

Miss, one dares to dream, but I am just a humble software engineer. I cannot bear this responsibility alone. Should I book a meeting room for Monday so we can sort this out?

[smileymoth]

17, 15, 8 and 27 for janar

janar is this special little blond bastard who i hate /affectionate

17. how did they spend their summers/free time as a child? i think he was a much happier person in middle school than he was in high school, so he probably spent most summers with his friends, either outdoors or playing video games with them. It was always he who hosted because he was the only one who had video games from his friends. And like the newest gaming console too. I think his parents also took him on a lot of trips around the world then, before he turned like 15 and started slowly realizing that sth is off about their relationship and how everything seems to revolve around money absolutely always. How it's always about the money and never him, how his hobbies are never about him having fun but rather how lucrative it would be. How it made him a better person. Something about it rubbed him the wrong way i'd say. And he also started getting the hang of his parents not really... Caring about him anymore? Like his grades were good, therfor, why did it matter, he was fine, his parents paid just enough attention to him to get him independent.

So yeah he stopped going on trips with them because he didn't like the idea of spending so much time with his parents now. The thought of his friends probably coming over just cuz he's rich also flashed his mind so he started to shut in a bit more. be more wary of how his friends spoke to him and around him since he always had pocket money until like. 7th grade too, and then he had to get his own job, and he was used to always buying his friends ice cream and etc. you know. And now he couldn't because it was money he had to earn. His father is a rich business man btw.

So yeah he hung around his few friends he had in middle school :) and later he got jobs in the summer. Probably at a bar. He hated it. He hates people he finds them all fucking annoying.

He went to parties, started drinking and smoking at like age 13 probably as the average estonian does. His mother is a police officer so he was more wary about it but then he got caught once coming home drunk and his mom was FUMING so he decided okay I'll just keep doing it then. fuck you. you can't stop me. probably dealt weed with his friends at age 16 lmao. Just to spite his mother.

15. how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

He grew up with his mother, father, and older sister. That is the extent of their family. He obviously has grandparents and uncles but I think his family is fairly secluded from them? I think his grandparents, both sets of them, live in Tallinn, and they live in Pärnu, so they don't even see them that much. And they don't call much either. Well maybe they do but Janar has no fucking clue because his parents are literally never around. His father is either out on business trips or his mom is just late nights at work bc she likes her job and does overtime for no money. hashtag i hate cops. Bastard. sorry. Anyway. His sister moved out when he was 16, so that made him even more sad because his sister was the only one who he got along with in that household fairly well. They still talk over the phone but she's in uni and does Not come home for the same reasons listed above. Neither of them like their parents.

Right now he lives alone in a small apartment in Tartu I think. It's fairly close to his sisters place. He used to live with his sister while he searched for his own place :)

8. do they have a nickname? who gave it to them? if it's not derived from their real name, what's the story behind it?

He doesn't exactly have a nickname that he likes. He and Gabriel were pretty good friends in 10th grade, before Janar got pissed off by his parents being good parents and he just became annoyed by him. Also because he thought Gabriel was trying to hit on him and that he was gay (both correct), Gabriel gave him the nickname Jannu and he HATED it so much. Please stop. He keeps calling him that throughout high school to piss him off. They kinda become friends again tho. But not really.

Perhaps they would see each other in Tartu, since I think they moved there now... omg yes like he works at Mini Rimi. Maybe the one thats near the uni yk. omg so annoying the guy you didnt like in high school just shows up at your work fairly regularly. thats funny I like that.

27. if applicable, do they have a favorite sport? do they play any sports or prefer to watch?

I think he's tried like every sport. He honestly seems like a volleyball guy!!!! I think he went to volleyball training or w/e it's called. Fun!!!!! He does like football tho. He would 100% watch football matches on tv. He was also fucking goated at PE but he does NOT bend so he sucks at that. Legs r rigid from football etc etc.

sorry this is so long i love him so much

[2short4astormtrooper]

Sunshine

This is a story I’ve been working on for a while... I’m gonna post a couple hundred words of it and if people could give me feedback that would be much appreciated.

If you read and enjoy, please reblog so I can reach more people

Summary: It seemed simple, really. Go to the planet--Iurus II, nice place--find information, maybe go sightseeing. Too bad it fell apart.

Iurus II is a simple place.  It’s a small colony, built around tourism. Old Imperial propaganda paints a picture of it—an idyllic seaside resort, a planet covered in tiny islands, one small city. As their ship comes out of hyperspace above the planet, Han double-checks the location monitors. At first glance, the planet can be mistaken for a blue gas giant—not that it’s big.

Iurus is an ocean world covered in islands too small to land an X-wing on. And the ocean… it’s the colour of coaxium, seeming to draw the colour from everything else through the viewport of their ship. “Now approaching Iurus Two,” the protocol droid announces. It’s not C-3P0 (Thank goodness, Han thought when it was announced ‘Goldenrod’ needed maintenance) but a rounder, kinder-looking silver droid. “Iurus system, Tungra sector. No main exports, although it is rumoured Governor Storme runs a rather prosperous sentient trafficking business. Population: two thousand and fifty-two, fifty-four per cent female—” “Thank you, em-kay.” Leia turns away from the droid, faces Han. “Iurus Two was an Imperial holiday resort for high-ranking officers, which means they might have information about Tarkin or the Tarkin Initiative, but they can’t know that we’re looking for it,” she explains. “So, we pretend we want to negotiate a peace treaty.” “Sort of.” She’s pacing now, walking the same metre of the floor over and over. The inside of the ship is simply furnished, with two settles and a small round table the only furnishing in the main cabin. Han is sitting stretched out on one of the settles. “I still don’t know why we couldn’t just take the Falcon,” he says. “Because the Falcon is too recognised, and a military ship.” “It’s just a—” “Don’t say it’s a freighter, Han, the whole galaxy knows that isn’t true. Look, you know what we’re doing. Pretend to be negotiating a peace treaty with Governor Tartus Storme while, in fact, finding information about the Imperial Remnant. But… we’re also looking for information about the Tarkin Initiative and Tarkin himself.” Leia swallows. “Any high ranking Imperial will do. Any information about what the Imperial remnants might be planning.” She’s standing unusually straight, looking like someone with something to prove. Tarkin… “Are you okay?” “Mon Mothma and I talked about this, and you were there. Did you listen to anything?” “Some of it. But Leia, you’re—” Han is cut off by the pilot’s voice, crackling through the ship’s comm. “Entering atmosphere.” “You’re doing it again,” he repeats. “What?” “The thing where you only focus on what you’re working on and shut people out.” “Oh… I’m alright. It’s just… little things, you know.” She takes the seat opposite him. After nearly 8 years, Tarkin’s name still tastes like the air on the Death Star. Leia swallows and tries to forget the cold, the aridity, the metallic feeling. The grey; everything was grey. Little things.

***

The first thing Han noticed when he stepped off the ship was the strange scent in the air. It is a bit like caf, only sweeter, and darker somehow. Not quite like earth—there isn’t enough earth on the planet to lend its scent—but almost. Now, after almost a week of mind-numbingly dull talks with the governor of the colony here, Han is used to it. The settlement on Iurus is one big platform with 5 docking bays; a large marketplace; civilian houses; and larger, far more luxurious holiday homes for any visiting Imperials. Not that there are any, not now. The civilian houses and the marketplace are nice. This planet was lucky—the Empire was kind to them. It gave them relative freedom, protection from the ‘rebel threat’ and organised crime. The war played out around and above Iurus II, but it never reached it. Han can see life here, seemingly away from the politics and policies that now follow Leia like a lost bantha calf. It’d be nice, he thinks, just to get one moment of quiet, without some holo to sign or meeting to attend. This, right now, is the closest they’ve gotten to quiet for weeks. “A little bit of sightseeing and shopping, lunch, then finishing up,” Leia had said before the pair had left. They’d already been shopping. Well, that’s what they’d said. In reality, they had crept around Governor Storme’s offices, looked through his files, and found nothing. Like chasing ghosts. “Sightseeing is less boring than I thought it would be.” “Hmm.” Leia frowns and taps her fingers anxiously on her thigh, just where a blaster would be holstered. Han takes her hand. “What’s wrong?” “I’m not sure… something seems off.” The marketplace is busy, but there’s a strange sort of tension in the air. Maybe this planet wasn’t so lucky. Maybe something’s wrong. “I have a bad feeling about this.” She tightens her grip on his hand and speaks quietly. “It’s too quiet.” “There aren’t a lot of people here. This might be normal.” “Do you think it is?” Han takes a deep breath, looks around. The stalls here sell mostly food. Stallholders and customers haggle—quietly, he notices; that’s unusual—over fruit, strange fish-like creatures, seaweed wraps and greenish bread. It’s the week’s-end day off for most workers, and there should be more people here. “No.” “Okay.” Leia slips her arm around his waist and leans into his shoulder. “Put your arm around me and act like we’re a couple,” she says softly. “We’re married.” “Act like it!” They continue, walking through the marketplace as if nothing were wrong, and suddenly Han misses his blaster very, very much. He can’t exactly carry it when they’re supposed to be negotiating a peace treaty, so it’s hidden safely under his mattress. Leia curses under her breath. “We’re just being paranoid. The Empire’s practically gone. There’s nothing for them in a place like this.” After being a wanted person for more than seven years… how can you adapt to now being the face of a new government? When the war you’ve fought your whole life is over, how can you adjust? When that war has taken so much and given so much—twisted gifts of scars, and nightmares, and paranoia—how can you attune?

I’d really appreciate feedback--anything I can improve on, no matter how small. If you enjoyed this, reblog. This is about half (maybe??) of what I have so far and if it looks like people enjoyed it I’ll definitely post more. 

2short :)

[alt-30]

yesterday i went to see a psychiatrist! got some blood tests done (waiting for results) and she gave me multiple options on how to proceed so i have to choose how to go on the next time i go to see her. she recommended getting back on the antidepressant i used to take buuut i didn’t like the side effects at all and also didnt feel like it worked like i would have needed at the time. bf said i can just ask for a different one but... if she thinks it’s the best, should i....

literally five minutes after i left the doctors office and waited for getting a blood test, this company called... it’s been about three weeks since i applied for a laboratory position there and they invited me for an interview! what’s up with that! thought they have discarded me a long time ago but no. however! it’s in a different town, and accepting it would mean moving out of my comfy home town to a civilised tartu an hour away. mmmy interview is next friday so there’s plenty of time to think about that. according to some of my coworkers i’m severly underpaid for what i bring to the company, so that might affect my judgement a bit, plus my company is not really known for increasing wages properly. recently two very talented women were planning to leave and they weren’t offered anything to stay (they ended up staying anyway), yet when a male operator was about to leave, he got offered a respectable raise and a day-only schedule..... i mean.... i’m not saying.... these two women are known for their poor attitude but still...   

yesterday we also went for a walk along the snowy beach and visited an empty-ass cafe, which had okay coffee and very dry marzipan cakes. it was very fun though and i love him a lot. i hope to become my best version for him.

and just a bit ago, my dear colleague let me know that she’s still down with some sickness so she won’t be coming in today and yours truly will be managing two lines, at once, both with non-operator-friendly products :))) doubt the boss finds someone to come and replace her, but i’m still hopeful

alright time to go back into my cave and not make any posts for a month

[kristallioness]

December Recap

(+ A typical Estonian Christmas dinner table!)

Merry Christmas, dear followers! I hope you've all enjoyed the holidays, cause I sure have and I'm gonna summarize my entire December month right here (since I've been rather quiet these past few weeks, but that's only because I was so busy doing all of these wonderful things).

First and foremost, I wanna introduce you to some Estonian food that's usually eaten during Christmas (yes, it's okay to reblog this post cause the personal stuff will be under the cut). I took a few photos of all of these delicious meals and am gonna describe what they are exactly. Here is my family's dinner table in its full glory:

So, where do I start?.. The 3 bigger pots on the left contain boiled potatoes, small sausages ('sardellid' in Estonian) and sauerkraut (a type of cabbage, the English name of this food should have a German origin). These combine into one dish and they're eaten together, like this:

The 4th, bigger glass plate on the right contains blood sausages, which is the second typical dish (the kind that we buy come with slices of bacon). They're usually eaten together with lingonberry jam or pumpkin slices (my dad prefers to add some mustard), BUT.. ever since I was a little girl, I've had this quirk of adding ketchup to any kind of meat to make it tastier. So, when I began eating blood sausages, I obviously chose ketchup on the side:

Besides that, Estonians LOVE black bread (note the bag in the background), which is made of rye and completely different from any other kind of bread everywhere. This is where a really good joke about my people comes from: whenever Estonians travel to another country, they can't find their "usual" bread in any grocery store (it's all white!) and it's one of the things they'll miss the most while being away from their homeland:

Now (coming to the foreground), I am in NO way trying to advocate drinking (since I'm a teetotaller myself), but for those of you who are interested in trying a unique brand of alcohol from Estonia, then you should definitely buy a bottle of "Vana Tallinn" ("Old Tallinn").

Since both Estonia and Latvia celebrated their centennials this year, I watched a documentary about the latter's history in November (Latvia's Independence Day is on the 18th). They mentioned the "Riia palsam" ("Riga Balsam") there, which reminded me that I've never tasted our very own "Old Tallinn" before, so I wanted to give it a shot.

It's a liqueur and this was my first time drinking it - I didn't like it (exactly like all the other times when I've taken sips from different kinds of alcohol, I don't think I've tasted wine yet though..). The smell reminded me of that disinfecting liquid that doctors would use to clean wounds. I preferred that box of non-alcoholic glogg on the right more than "Old Tallinn", ha-ha!

I think that's about it for what I wanted to say about our food, now onto more personal stuff. I didn't mention any desserts (since there isn't anything unique), but in our family, we like to buy premade gingerbread cookies from the store (not enough time to bake any of our own) and decorate them with colourful frosting (it's still fun!).

You can guess which ones are made by me or my mom (hint: all of the ones in the first photo + I wrote the characters' names from both Avatar series and Voltron + drew some pretty winter-related items/patterns + the little map of Europe and Estonia in the bottom right corner of the last photo):

Besides that, I like to buy an advent calendar filled with little chocolates for the first 25 days of December. Just like last year, I bought a "PAW Patrol"-themed one this year. And on a trip to our capital Tallinn, I finally managed to buy the third pup plush I was missing - Marshall! (I already bought Chase and Skye back in May.)

Speaking of that trip to Tallinn, then I went there together with my dad since we'd bought tickets for the big finale of the 7th (golden) season of "Su nägu kõlab tuttavalt" (which might've been the last, but nobody knows for sure, not until next autumn).

It's a show (the finale was live on TV) where 4 men and 4 women (who are our own local, famous actors/singers) parody or try to mimic an artist/band and one of their songs as well as they can (and they work really hard on tweaking their performances to look amazing + the team behind the cameras and in the make-up/dress room, the back-up dancers and mentors Maiken and Villiko contribute just as much).

There are 8 pre-recorded shows shown each weekend on Sunday, which lead up to the big finale. In each of these shows, the 4 judges give the participants points for their performances, based on how well/accurately they did. The one who receives the most points wins that night and gets to donate 1,000 € for charity (they pick an organization that they'd like to help).

The 4 participants with the highest scores by the end of those 8 pre-recorded shows will be the finalists in the finale (the other 4 will perform, too), where only the audience can vote for them via telephone. Ultimately, their votes will choose the winner of the season, who gets to donate 10,000 € for charity.

This year, the winner was Saara Kadak (on the left, with the show's host, Märt Avandi, on the right). She mimicked ABBA's "The Winner Takes It All" (my mom's favourite band) and did it ever so beautifully (in my opinion, she deserved to win)!

A day after the finale, a lottery-type of competition was held on Facebook. I entered and, for the first time ever in my life, I actually won something! A poster of Saara Kadak (with her golden signature on it) and the cheerleaders of TalTech (my old university, previously known as TUT or TTÜ in Estonian), where she was dressed up as Toni Basil and together they parodied the song "Hey Mickey" in one of the pre-recorded shows (it was awesome!):

Since we're still on the topic of concerts, then I'd like to mention that I also went to a special Christmas concert (which was part of a bigger tour) at our local church, where Koit Toome and Valter Soosalu sang some lovely holiday-themed songs. I enjoyed it very much, exactly like last year when I went to Elina Born and Stig Rästa's concert. (I think this is going to be a new tradition for me, to go to at least 1 Christmas concert before the holidays.)

After that concert, me and my dad drove to a small town called Väätsa to go have a look at their cultural center. That little place has become famous for organizing weird (but in a good way), yet fun events. This winter, the locals had decorated all the windows of the building with pretty installations/decorations, some of which moved around thanks to their mechanisms/reacted when someone walked by (such as these two coffee mugs, where the coffee started to pour down from top to bottom when my dad passed the window):

On our trip to Tallinn (the same day I bought Marshall and we went to the finale of SNKT), my dad and I wanted to visit the annual Christmas market in the Old Town (it's up from the middle of November until the beginning of January). Did you know that it was chosen as the best one in Europe this year? If you happen to visit Estonia next year, why not pop by and have a look for yourself (that's the old Town Hall in the background):

Finally, here's a glimpse of our Christmas tree and the presents I received this year (I checked this Monday and my preordered copy of "Imbalance: Part One" was shipped on the 18th and it should arrive at the beginning of 2019, yay!):

Most importantly, seeing just how much truth has suddenly become public about how weak our healthcare system is when it comes to people with rare diseases/who need their medications financed by the health insurance fund (and how stingy the council can be when making these decisions) and how our own country charges 9% off from all donations made to the Cancer Treatment Fund, I decided to help out by donating 15 € to 3 different charity shows this year:

Donated 5€ to "Jõulutunnel", which raised money to donate to the Children's Fund of the Clinic of Tartu University for helping kids with rare diseases this year.

Donated 5 € to "Jõulusoojus", which raised money so they could buy the physically-impaired children a robot that'd help them learn how to walk (again).

Donated 5€ to "Inglite aeg", which raised money to help specific people who sent them their stories, people who usually don't have enough money to pay for an expensive treatment or cure and can't live a normal life or who are suffering in a different way (such as losing their home to a fire).

*wipes beads of sweat off her forehead* Phew! Writing this post took me like.. 2+ hours! Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed reading about how December went by for me. Thanks for sticking around!

[matthewko28]

Stay the Way We Are / Chapter 5

Hetalia fanfiction, human AU, EstIce platonic

>>Chapter 1<<

>>Chapter 2<<

>>Chapter 3<<

>>Chapter 4<<

Chapter: 5/9

A/N: I changed the definition of their friendship mentioned in the previous chapters. Platonic is more accurate to describe their relationship but I didn’t know it until now, poor my vocab_(: _ㄥ)_

A LOT of setting in this chapter is for the plots purpose and please don’t mix it up with both Hetalia the original work and the real world.

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything mentioned in the story but the story itself!

Also on ff.net: it doesn’t show me the link so i’d post it later

and Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756427/chapters/37563713

Emil soon regrets his decision the next morning. It’s not a normal time to get up, and Emil thinks it should be the reason he bumps on the furniture several times and makes a lot of noise. The sound is too annoying, even wakes Lukas up to warn him—he throws a pillow onto his younger brother. But there’s one thing Emil has to clarify that he’s not intend to provoke his brother again when he shuts the door accidently. He feels like he’s still not clear-headed enough when he rides his bike, so it’s impossible for him to behave like a brat just because he gets up early in the morning. Emil suddenly feels worried about Mathias—a grumpy Lukas in the morning is hard to get along with. Emil yawns, mumbling something like I’m sorry to his brothers while he has been far away from his home. He rubs his eyes, hurrying on his way when the traffic light turns green.

“I regret accepting the job.”

This is the first thing Eduard tells him when Emil finally arrives at the planetarium. He could make sure that Eduard is as tired as him after he witnesses the guy pushes over a row of bikes when they’re locking their own bikes. Waiting for his friend picking up the pieces, Emil can’t help but wondering; how did they both get there in a safe way?

He follows Eduard into the building, just finds they’re the only two in the huge space. The day has dawned outside though, the sunlight doesn’t spread into galleries. Emil looks around. he can merely see the exit signs in the end of those corridors. The hall is totally dark, dark enough as if a universe truly existing here. “What do you preview today?” he asks.

“English narrator for the star maps program this month. The staff here is on vacation, so my teacher asked me to give it a try.” Eduard turns back, reminding Emil to take notice of those hanging exhibits, “Would you refine my speech later?”

“Got it. You plan all the things and invite me to join you at the final step.”

Eduard only answers him with chuckle, keeps walking ahead until stopping at the double door of the theatre. He pushes the doors open and a huge dome room silently appears in front of them. They’re surrounded by a giant, pale hemisphere. The wall fittings hidden in the corners and stairs slowly enhance the light. The glow gradually turns the cool gray full of the room into warm and sunset colors. Emil wanders into the seating, looking up to the top of the dome.

He’s tapped on the shoulder suddenly. Taking a cold glimpse of his back, Emil finds that Eduard makes a gesture for sorry, “I guess you may need a nap. Find your seat first.

“You know it’ll be meaningless to sleep here.” He talks back quietly. But Eduard doesn’t hear that, he just walks upstairs in a hurry. Emil looks at his back, noticing that there are some staffs of the museum waiting for his friend at the highest place.

He walks alongside the stair Eduard passed by, searching for a seat he can curl up his body comfortably. He chooses the one located in the middle rows in the end. Taking off his backpack, Emil lays down on the tilted chair and holds his pack tightly. The dim lights are turned off one after another. Emil closes his eyes, hearing some buzzing noise from the speakers. The sounds soon turn into a male voice Emil has been familiar with. “Testing now…, üks, kaks, kolm…,” the voice is clean and soothing as always, but now speaking in a language Emil has never known, “Tere hommikust, see on von Bock…, okei…. Let’s start.” Emil opens his eyes, but just staring at the scene calmly. The silent, dark blue widens above him, stars sparkling in the night; this is not the first time Emil watches an astronomy show, since his brother has been dedicating a few years to the research field. He has to admit that he pays little attention to Eduard’s speech because he has contact with such type of knowledge for years. The starry night is gradually darkening, only a few brighter stars are left in the end. Lots of white lines appear on the dome screen, connecting the shiny dots like a connecting puzzle game. Some figures in the ancient mythology are added later. Emil looks at all these changes though, his mind is just sinking into the memory. He remembers one day in his elementary school; he and his classmates did a special experiment that day. They spent almost an afternoon building a volcano model.

He forgot how his teacher make the “magma” looks real, only remembering the red liquid climbed along the clay mountain he built hard, and finally spouted from the gap, flowing and covering the grass slope made by his friend. All his classmates were getting excited at the moment, except for Emil, he was still stunned by the red colors weaving beneath the surface, keeping quiet and couldn’t look away from the colorful layers.

*

The line drawings fade, the few stars are scattered by the Milky Way, uncountable white blots splash over the dome in the blink of an eye. The narration is slowly muted in a gentle piano tune. Emil sits straight up, intending to look back while Eduard has come and sit next to him.

“How’s my performance?”

“Uh?” Emil stops for a moment, realizing that he has no excuse for getting distracted, “sorry…, I didn’t focus on it.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad you feel relaxed here.” Eduard says, waving at the control room behind them, “Mrs. Janssen said we could stay here for a while, but we’ve to leave at 20 minutes before the opening time.”

Emil gives a glance at his watch. They have about an hour.

“So, as for now, would you mind if I say something here?”

“What? I mean… about what?”

“About my home,” Emil turns to Eduard soon, but Eduard doesn’t make eye contact with him, “Do you know Tartu?”

“…Your hometown?”

“Yeah, wanna take a trip?”

“That’s not the point.” He sits back in his chair, knocking the armrest a little impatiently, “What do you want to say?”

“I escaped from there.” Eduard answers him a smirk though, “Sounds like a spoiled teenager, is it?”

“…Why did you escape?”

“Because I was refused.” Emil sits frozen. He’s about to jump and look at Eduard, but he forces himself to focus on the night sky. Eduard doesn’t notice that, just continuing his words, “My family opposed to everything I wished for, such as my hobbies, my high school, and my career. They think I shouldn’t decide those things on my own…. Hey, imagine a situation, you gave your child the best education in your opinion, hoping he or she succeeded in school, in the future, to praise your family. But one day the brat just told you I don’t want you to treat me like that, I don’t want to waste my time on those things ‘I do for your own good’ then left you and studied in a young university which just reorganized within years, and planned to get a degree you thought it’s not ‘useful’ at all. The brat even lives abroad now. How do you think? Do you feel it’s like a sense of betrayal?”

“I don’t agree with the thought of useless degree.”

“Neither do I. But my family is as stubborn as me. They think UT is better than all school located in Tallinn. Why do I insist on studying there when I have ability to apply to the elite university in their minds? I could tell you that up to now, my family still rejects my decision…. I’ve worked so hard to show them I wouldn’t let them being looked down on although I didn’t follow their advice. Unfortunately, I was overwhelmed by their disapproval. From then on, I started to wonder, if Tallinn is not far enough away, what about moving to a place more distant from them? At least I’m good at, um, being a good student? So I had confidence to make my plan work…. Look, I’m sitting beside you right now. I win the bet. How lucky I am.”

“Yeah, yeah, a gifted exchange student.” Emil replies mindlessly, then pauses for a second, “but don’t you think it’s another way to show your family you’re right?”

“No, I’m just an escapist. The only thing I want to do is to get rid of them, the farther the better.”

“You’re so straightforward.”

“It’s true anyway.”

“Do you ever consider going back?” He thinks of what Eduard once said; he’ll do whatever to stay in Copenhagen.

“Yes, I do. After all, I love my birthplace.” Eduard’s voice sounds a little tired. Emil hears a tiny sound like taking off the glasses. “Maybe Tartu is getting old. She’s not like Tallinn, willing to embrace the sea, embrace the world. But to me, she gives me a sense of belonging, which is impossible to be replaced by any other place. I know I belong to the city, and I’m also proud of being born there, but it shouldn’t conflict with the tiredness I have sometimes. Like now, I feel tired more than eager to stay there, but it doesn’t mean the two feelings won’t end in a draw, and maybe my passion for my hometown will come back one day. Sounds not bad, is it?”

“Feeling tired… more than feeling eager to stay?”

Emil doesn’t get answer this time. Eduard sounds like he’d not like to keep talking, his calm voice fading away, one of his arm rising and covering his face while the other one just resting on the chair. His glasses are held slightly in his fingers. Emil can’t stop wondering, is it struggling for a long time or lack of sleep to cause Eduard’s tiredness. He wants to touch Eduard’s hand if it can comfort him, but he doesn’t even know what motivates him to do that.

“Oh, by the way, I’m still willing to be your tour guide if you really want to visit Tartu.”

“Or you could be a host for your new travel channel.” Emil talks back. They turn to look at each other at the same time, under the fictional night. It feels like all their thoughts hidden behind the eyes could be read easily. Emil thinks, being about to avoid the gaze, but a sound in his mind’s just trying to convince him, he should leave something in return for their relationship, “…why do you tell me all of this?” His voice is awkward though, he looks someone in the eye at least.

“I thought you want to know.”

Emil finally turns away. What a god damn embarrassing answer.

He hears the annoying laughter as expected, almost making him want to punch the guy. Eduard spends a few seconds stopping his laughter, “Hey, I’m honest with you,” he explains after Emil turns to him again with slightly blushing, “After all, you looked very curious after we finished the work in archive room that day, but you also looked hesitant to ask me. I don’t know it was because you were scared by me or you were worried about something, after all it was the first time I showed my worst status in front of you, if I remembered correctly…. Back to the topic, I think it’s better to find a chance to talk about it, and tell you it’s okay you ask me anything. Hoping you won’t see me as a self-centered guy.”

“Well sometimes you gave me the impression. By the way, we finished the archive work one month ago, I don’t think you’re a dull person who has no reaction for such a long time.”

“No, I’m not. I didn’t mention it because you’re too slow to warm up to people.”

“Yeah, right.”

“There’s another reason,” the chairs squeak, Eduard sits up a little straighter, taking his glasses on, “besides your shyness, you look like you have no energy often, and it’s not quite hard to notice your lack of confidence from, um, average negative people. It’s just my intuition, I don’t know if you were asked before…. You give me a feeling that you’re always a foreigner. The loneliness is too hard to ignore so I can’t help but being attracted by it.”

“Foreigner?”

“Um… in fact, I think it’s more accurate to describe it as a stranger, never feeling fit in with the surroundings no matter where you go.”

Emil holds his body more tightly, pretending to not hear anything except for the noise from his squeezed backpack.

“Am I right?”

“…Hm.”

“As for why I nag all of these, you look like you’re bothered by some upset thoughts for a while, and hurry to find a way to be released from it. I think it’ll be great you don’t feel helpless anymore so sorry for sometimes being a busybody. I can’t always read the tangle in your mind completely but I can’t either leave you alone.” Eduard says, leaning his arms against the armrest of Emil’s side, “It feels like I find a resonance with you though your situation is a little different from mine. I’m not pretty sure but, you’re kinda like a combination of inferiority and strong personality. The two opposite thoughts make you feel struggled always, and bring you the anxiety you have no idea to deal with. You’re chasing a solution you don’t even know to erase them all.”

The dark sky was bleached. The warm light is rising from the corners and slowly wrapping up the white dome.

“Emil, did you ever think you’ve already found your answer? What you need now is just a little bit more courage, to prove that you deserve what you dream.”

“…Did you know? Sometimes I really want to say, I have no idea to get along with you.”

Emil stands up and looks Eduard back from a high angle—it’s rare to him to be honest.

“Haha, sounds better than your first sight.”

Eduard also stands up, picking his pack up and walking to the exit first. Emil stays for a while, then runs and catches up with Eduard, “But, there’s another thing I need… I want to tell you,” he says, approaching the door handle before Eduard.

“Thank you.”

He rushes into the hall before getting any reply, following the direction boards he could barely see, going straight and turning without hesitation. He doesn’t even know whether Eduard is walking behind him, his footsteps are too heavy and dull, but he’d make sure that his partner would realize his thought.

Emil turns back, as he’s looking forward to, meeting a warm smile within his sight.

>>original Chinese version<< (including English version Chapter 5&6)

A/N2: Some Estonian words mentioned in the chapter ˊωˋ

Üks, kaks, kolm: one, two, three in Estonian.

Tere hommikust, see on von Bock.: “Good morning, this is von Bock.” in Estonian.

UT: the University of Tartu. It’s the oldest university in Estonia, established by King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden in 1632.

I take a reference from the youtuber. She’s sooo cute and has a sweet voice but doesn’t post any video for a while _(;3_ㄥ)_ (and google and wiki of course haha)

If there’s anything wrong or improper please drop me a message! Thank you!!

[qisnutz]

Flowers? This term is relative & nothing is real.

APH Rare Pair Week, day 1

Prompt: Flowers.

Characters: Estonia & Finland (OCs).

Kalju Salumäe (Estonia) belongs to @brothuania, Jaakko Järvelä (Finland) belongs to me. Drabble available on ff.net & ao3. Enjoy! c:

Early mornings are never easy. Especially when the time is just a concept and your early mornings are other people's early afternoons. Jaakko sighed deeply, as he entered the kitchen. No matter how much time he'd spend in this house, he would always run into new gadgets or other so called decorations Kalju seemed to be a bit too fond of to let go. When exactly did they acquire a new microwave? Jaakko must have been distracted by something else when the purchase was being made. Or, the Estonian secretly made use of one of those shopping apps he hoarded among other obscure software the Finn will never fully comprehend. As long as it functions, I guess, he thought as he proceeded to the real goal of his visit in this room.

The fridge was purring quietly in its usual place, at least that didn't change overnight. Several magnets from Estonian and Finnish cities decorated the metal door. Jaakko couldn't help a small smile slowly creeping onto his face. Before grabbing the handle, he raised his finger to trace the soft texture of those tiny rectangles with panoramas of cities he knew so well. Tallinn, Helsinki, Tartu, Turku, Parva, Kuopio, Jyväskylä, Pärnu ... there was even one from Rovaniemi, shaped like a Santa's hat, with seasonal wishes engraved in it. That one was probably the tackiest magnet he'd ever seen in his entire life, but they had no heart to get rid of it. There was a story behind it, a story not intended for the ears of the unauthorized. Alcohol, bad decisions and risky adventures were involved, of course. Knowing Jaakko and Kalju, none of that should still be surprising.

Persistent stomach rumbling snatched him out of this sudden reverie. The mundane needs turned out to be louder than the needs of the spirit, by all the means. Opening the fridge eventually, Jaakko scanned its contents. Even someone as skilled in the (doubtful) art of drinking as this Finnish man, would experience painful consequences of a Friday night spent with one or two bottles of hard liquor. In other words, some items seemed blurry, nearly impossible to distinguish from one another. He found out about them owning a bottle of vinegar the hard way by nearly downing it, thinking it's water all along. Jaakko spat all of it into the sink and cussed. A bunch of other profanities soon followed the initial one, the Finn was known for his broad array of swear words after all. Kalju would have to be deaf, absent, or deep in a dream not to hear it.

"Are you okay?" The Estonian sounded worried. But he didn't come to see what happened. Jaakko was a big boy and certainly wouldn't appreciate any further displays of concern, ready to treat them as patronizing.

Living with the Finn was certainly an adventure, yet he had agreed to that very eagerly. He might not have been too open about his feelings, but neither have Jaakko. Squeezing affection-based talk out of either of them bordered on a miracle. Maybe they were not the most emotional couple in the world, but it was okay. Just each other's close presence was enough. Being within one another's fingertips. Filling the cold emptiness on the other side of the bed.

"Define okay, perkele," Jaakko mumbled under his breath. The sour taste of vinegar still lingered in his mouth. Not even wringing his face helped and yet he kept doing it in severe distaste. This unpleasant occurrence didn't stop his adventurous attitude though (or maybe his stomach kept nagging him for something to be filled with).

Shoving various products to the sides, he kept digging in the fridge in search of something his picky hungover person seemed to fancy most. Before he found something acceptable, however, his hand encountered a mysterious jar. Its content was just as weird as it was gross in Jaakko's humble opinion. Whatever this today's endless loop of unfortunate events was, it had to stop immediately.

"Mikä vittu tämä on..?" *

Trying to come up with a good answer for that on his own would only result in a headache, so he didn't even bother to begin. Turning the jar in his hands, the Finn decided to confront his boyfriend about it. A hangover snack can wait a bit, especially now that his appetite almost literally flew out the window. Storming (or at least attempting to do that) into the bedroom, Jaakko stretched out his hand with the jar in it. Kalju looked up at him over his laptop. The other looked endearingly comical in his current pose and with this accusatory expression all over his face. Pretending he hadn't noticed the source of the Finnish astonishment, the Estonian decided to carry out this conversation in a bit teasing manner.

"Oh, there you are. It's good to see you in one piece, Jaakuke. Pray tell, what on Earth were you up to in the kitchen?"

"Mitä homemunaskuja sulla on lasipurkeissa?" **

"What are you talking about, Jaakko?"

"Don't pretend you don't understand Finnish," Jaakko replied, clearly irritated. "What's this moldy egg and why is it in your fridge?"

"It's my refrigerator as well as yours now, don't forget that," the Estonian was having the time of his life. "You're responsible for its content now on the same level as me."

"For fuck's sake, Kalju! I'm not really in the mood for your games now. I'm hungover, hungry, and on top of that experiencing extremely mixed feelings about that ... thing. I can't believe I have to clean up your mess. I'm going to throw it out now."

"No, you're not," Kalju sighed resigned before getting up and approaching the other man. "Fine. Listen to me now. This tiny guy here is not mold. For starters, however, I literally cannot believe you thought so low of me. I would never let mold grow in my fridge."

The sudden admonishing glance had Jaakko completely baffled. He felt like a child reproved by his mother for some major offense. Or at least that's how Kalju wanted him to feel while piercing him with his blue irises.

"This is moss. A moss ball, järvepall, to be exact. A very intriguing fellow. He enjoys cold water, and that is why you found him in the fridge. And I decided to give him home. You, out of all people, should be able to tell moss from a mold. Weren't you raised in the forest?"

"Yeah, but..." Jaakko was dying to be able to defend himself somehow, but Kalju wouldn't let him come to the voice. That way he was forced to listen to the entire reprimand. A well-deserved one to be honest.

"What I'm trying to say is that no one is allowed to bash järvepallid in my presence. Under no circumstances. Understood?"

"Yeah, yeah... Anteeksi."

"You should apologize to him, not me."

Had Jaakko been less hungover and overall taken aback, he would have started laughing right away. But at that moment he was not amused at all. He didn't even dare question that request, regardless how exceptional and bizarre it was.

"Fine, fine. Sorry, uh. Whatever your name is, fluffy buddy."

"This one still needs a name, actually. I'm slowly running out of ideas for them."

"... them? Kalju, what the everloving fuck?"

"So you haven't ... of course you wouldn't notice. There are more moss balls in the house. I just hid them all well."

Jaakko furrowed his brows, trying his hardest to force his overheated brain to function at higher revs. Is he pulling my leg, he pondered, or am I truly that ignorant? As if he wasn't embarrassed enough, god damn it.

"... more... are you sure they're harmless?"

At this point of the conversation, Kalju was ready to give up his pretended strict sergeant attitude and go easy on the Finn. A playful spark flickered in his eyes and his voice noticeably softened.

"Jaakuke, come on... they're balls of moss, nothing more, nothing less," for some reason this sudden Jaakko's caution seemed plain adorable. A several wars' veteran, afraid of a tiny plant. Perhaps all the last night's liquor hadn't evaporated from his body yet. "They won't crawl out of their jars at night to devour your brain or whatever else you're scared of losing. Trust me, okay? I know what I'm doing."

"Mhm..." It was this part of the conversation in which the Finn would resort to communicating via grunts of various intensity.

"Oh, come on, stop moping," Kalju gently took over the jar and pressed his lips against the corner of Jaakko's. "You know I wasn't serious when scolding you, right? Just ... accept the new flatmates, okay? I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I'll show you the rest if you want."

"Mmm..."

"I'll take it for approval."

"Kaljuke?"

It always took a lot of negotiations and compromises to make the Estonian ditch all his electronics and go to bed eventually. Jaakko, as laconic as he could be about his feelings, would not skip a chance to move a tiny bit closer while lying next to Kalju, wordlessly asking for a physical display of affection. And Kalju was more than willing to provide him with it. In countless diverse ways.

"What is it?" he replied, absentmindedly caressing Jaakko's arm with his fingers.

"Pretty sure you're not willing to listen, but I thought of a name for the moss ball from the fridge."

"I'm scared already, kullake. Shoot."

"... Homemunasku." ***

An Estonian curse word, as well as a muffled Finnish laughter, echoed in the tranquility of the night, so abruptly disturbed by Kalju trying to suffocate Jaakko with a cushion.

* - What the fuck is that?

** -  "What moldy eggs/testicles do you have in glass jars?" (this is the joke alright)

*** - Mold Egg, or actually, Mold Testicle. Balls, if you will.