#tangle talks about speedrunning but actually is not very good at it

[jane-trademark]

tails got doom to run on belle

[londonhalcyon]

@dumpsterhipster​

I finally resumed the one shots (again). This one has been sitting in my drafts forever. And, hey! It’s actually close to my 1k-word limit for once! (Mostly because your neighborhood environmental scientist got a little carried away with the topic and had to cut it short before she had more than her weekly allotment of existential crises.)

Anyway, here’s part one of two. Enjoy!

* * * *

In Hot Water - Part 1 (Lily)

“I don’t get it.”

“What’s not to get?”

“I don’t understand what I’m looking at.”

Tanner grinned, thoroughly pleased with my confusion. He had been casting smug glances in my direction since he had picked me up at the airport the night before. Clearly, my reaction hadn’t disappointed. 

“Tell me what you see,” he said.

I stared at the smooth, crimson-skinned creature at the foot of the tree. It sort of resembled a four-legged slug, one the length of my hand. “It’s a salamander,” I said. 

“Yep.”

“It’s a fire dwelling salamander.”

“That’s right.”

“It’s in water.”

“Correctamundo.”

Between the thick buttress roots of a bald cypress, the supposed fire salamander lounged in a shallow depression filled with water. It had submerged its whole body—and seemed quite content in its little bath. The salamander’s chin rested on a small stone at the edge of the water. While it occasionally turned its head to gaze at us with its black, bulbous eyes, it wasn’t too concerned about our presence. 

Tanner laughed his characteristic jovial laugh. He always found something to laugh about, no matter the situation. “Told ya you’d want to see this.”

“I don’t understand,” I repeated. “It shouldn’t be alive. Fire salamanders can’t survive without salamander fire. Not for more than six hours, and not in water.”

“True. Unless it’s a hybrid.”

“With…what? A regular salamander? How would that work?”

“Well, you see, when two salamanders love each other very much—”

“Thank you!” I exclaimed.

He chuckled. “Honestly, that’s the question. Two different species, two different niches. It shouldn’t be possible. I mean, look around.” 

He pointed towards the trees behind us: thin, straight pines with rough reddish bark and scraggly heads of long green needles. It was the flattest, most open forest I had ever seen. The wide spaces between the tree trunks allowed the sun to cast a golden tint over the short grass below, mixed with dots of yellow, purple, and red from sporadic patches of wildflowers and pitcher plants. 

“Longleaf pine savanna—a fire dependent ecosystem. We do controlled burns here all the time. The perfect fire salamander habitat.”

He pointed towards the cypresses, where the trees were far less open. The grass and bushes here were taller, more tangled together, and a far deeper green than most of the savanna. There was a small pond beyond the tree trunks, but I was more likely to be swallowed by vines than reach it on foot. 

“Temporary wetland. The actual swampy part of the swamp. The vegetation doesn’t burn as well here, so it's better for species that thrive in wetter conditions—like good ol’ ordinary salamanders. All part of the same ecosystem, but different niches. There shouldn’t be overlap. Hypothetically.”

“Your hypothesis just got rejected,” I said, looking back at the fire salamander that was not, in fact, on fire. 

“So, new hypothesis: hybridization. And desperation. The population numbers of both species are declining, so the choice of mates is limited. I know a flaming amphibian wouldn’t be my ideal date.”

“What’s causing the decline?”

“Scale rot, habitat degradation, water pollution, etcetera, etcetera. Take your pick. There are quite a few of them.” 

“Hybridization isn’t viable in the long-term. The genetics…”

“Yeah, the genetics are a bitch. Got some colleagues looking into inbreeding too. They’re worried these guys might be speedrunning themselves into local extinction.”

“Any plans for reintroduction? ‘Cause I know a reserve back home that has a ton of fire salamanders. I could talk to some contacts.”

“Thought about it. But reintroduction isn’t going to do any good if the habitat conditions don’t improve. And no one wants to sink thousands of dollars into captive breeding until we have more data.”

“If they’re worth saving, you mean,” I said flatly. 

He snapped his fingers. “Right on the money. Or lack thereof.”

So we were dealing with all the usual depressing stuff. Great. 

“What are you looking for? Genetic importance?” Fire salamanders existed worldwide, but if these were a genetically distinct subspecies, that might change things.

“My geneticist friends are. I’m more interested in ecological importance. A lot of processes at work in this forest. Not many like it left in the country.”

“And the non-magical salamanders they’re hybridizing with?”

“Got a No-Maj team looking into them, with one Magizoologist in the mix. We have a reasonable research plan for both species. Now it’s just a matter of getting the go-ahead. And the funds.”

My legs had begun to cramp where I was crouched. I dropped to one knee on the unexpectedly spongy ground. Water soaked through my jeans. 

“What can I do to help?” I asked. 

Tanner shot me a broad grin, too mischievous. “I’m so glad you asked,” he said. “Since I know how much you absolutely love grant writing—”

“No.”

“—and since I know how amazing you are at it, how stellar—”

“Tanner.”

“—could you—pretty please—proofread our draft?”

“Oh.” I relaxed. “Yeah, sure. You could’ve led with that.”

Not nearly as mischievous, he said, “I have written twenty pages of letters and essays in the past two days. Let me find little things to entertain myself, please.”

I laughed. “So we’re out here because…?”

“I really needed a walk.” He pointed at the salamander. “Plus that? That’s cool as hell.”

“Yeah.” 

Not a bad way to spend your last few generations: as a magical disaster chilling in a puddle. Well, maybe not chilling. 

I squinted at the water around the little red amphibian. Bubbles had begun to rapidly rise, approaching a rolling boil. The salamander continued to rest its chin on the stone, its eyes half-closed. “Huh. That’s new.”

Tanner retrieved a notebook from his pack. “‘Spontaneous boiling,’” he wrote aloud. Twirling his pencil around his fingers, he added cheerfully, “Grant funding here we come.”

[concealeddarkness13]

Fire and Steel (Speedrunning Therapy) Part 5

Content warning for blood. Holy crap I finally finished the next scene! This isn’t even a full day in the story, and I’m hoping to work on the next half this week! But Chess gets to punch someone in this one! About 5,700 words.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Tagging: @drabbleitout, @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, and @for-fuchs-sake!

When Ives stirred, my eyes immediately flew open, and I sat up. I hadn’t slept so soundly ever, it felt like. And I was all tangled up with him. I blushed as I sat up. Shit. I never had a sense of personal space after I fell asleep.

I could barely glance at him as he stood up. “Sorry about last night. And I think I would want to go into work with you, if that’s okay.” I didn’t want to be alone.

He left the room, and my stomach dropped. Had he even looked over at me? Had that been it? My only chance to make him interested and I blew it on getting flustered and having a nightmare? I mean, it made sense. No one ever stayed with me for more than a night. Oh fuck. I had ruined everything.

But he just walked back in with a smile and my clothes in his hands. “We’re going to have to have a serious talk about the amount you apologize,” he teased, and my thoughts got even more confused when warmth settled in my chest. He didn’t hate me. He placed my clothes on the bed, having already changed into a work shirt and padded slacks. How the fuck…? “But you’re absolutely welcome to come with me. Mikki should already be there, so we may want to leave soon to get there before shift starts.”

I nodded and grabbed my clothes to go change in the bathroom. After getting all panicked over one little thing, I was way too embarrassed to change in front of him. Once I was back in my normal clothes, I splashed my face with water to hopefully get rid of the blush and walked back out, handing him his shirt and shorts I had been wearing. “Thank you. I appreciate everything you’ve done.”

He took the clothes and set them on the bed. “I’m happy to help. And I hope you know you’re welcome here, any time you’d like.” We walked back to the entrance, and he grabbed my jacket. “I understand if you may want to go elsewhere for the night, but if you’d like to come back, maybe we can pick up some things for you on our way back.” He helped me into the sleeves of the shirt, and my cheeks burned all over again. But then he called Niner, and I got distracted by her, leaning down to pet her.

I nodded. “We’ll see, but I’d love to spend the night here again. I felt very safe.”

“Well, you’re certainly welcome to come back.” He opened the door for me, and I perked up at the view again, walking over and staring especially at the ocean.

I smiled. “It’s so gorgeous.”

“It wasn’t always so.” The elevator dinged, and I had to force myself away from the sight, getting on the elevator with Ives and Niner. “Barely a decade ago it, much like the rest of the country, was near the brink of collapse. There’s still things to be done, but it’s proof humans are quite brilliant beings, capable of healing and helping one another. And a sign not all things will always be terrible.” I tilted my head at him, but then his fingers brushed my prosthetic hand and then took it gently, and my cheeks burned worse. Fuck. I would never get used to someone touching my prosthetics as if they were precious.

The lobby was crowded, but Ives kept ahold of my hand, so we got to the car just fine. He let go of my hand only when he opened the passenger door for me. I just got in quietly, thinking about what he had said. Humans had actually done something good? Not more harm? It was confusing. Niner jumped into the backseat and whined, and I automatically reached back to pet her. She whined again, nudging my hand for more pets.

When Ives got in the driver’s seat, I glanced over at him. “This is a beautiful world.” I hesitated, but I wanted to ask this. “Is there a place you’ve always wanted to see? Like me with the ocean.”

He stayed quiet for a while, starting the car and heading out. His brow pinched. “I don’t know. I’m a little embarrassed to say I’ve never thought about it. Maybe…maybe a place with snow. It snows here and I enjoy it, so maybe something like that.”

I nodded. Snow was beautiful, at least when I didn’t have to worry about sleeping in it. “Snow’s good for cuddling and warm drinks.” At least that was what I heard. “And it’s gorgeous when it blankets everything in pure white.”

“You’re right.” He nodded. “We didn’t get as much snow this winter, but maybe visiting a place with snow would be nice.” He looked like he wanted to continue that sentence. Oh. Was there someone he wanted to go with? “Would you want to go to the ocean sometime? If you didn’t want to get into the sand, maybe to the boardwalk or shops?”

He seemed to want to go with someone if he went to a snowy place, and hoping it wasn’t someone specific, I decided to speak up. “I’ll totally go with you to whatever place with snow you’d like, if you want.” A shy smile pulled at my lips. “I do enjoy travelling, even if I mostly did it to get to a new place where people didn’t recognize me on sight. And I’d love to go to the ocean! And honestly,” I leaned forward like it was a big secret. “I’ll probably still go in the sand, even if it would fuck up my prosthetics.”

“Perhaps Mikki will have some answers for us that may be able to help.” He chuckled, and I felt a thrill. He wasn’t annoyed by me! “That way you wouldn’t have to worry about it. Speaking of which, Mikki is, well, she’s a medic. Therefore she can be blunt, but I assure you it comes from her role to be efficient and quick. But she enjoys her work very much. She may have a lot of questions, but if anything is too uncomfortable to answer, tell her so. She will understand.”

I nodded, having tensed when he mentioned Mikki was a medic. But I trusted she would be nicer than I was used to. “Thank you. I might…get nervous around her. I’m not fond of medical people.”

“I’ll be there.” He took my hand, sounding so calm and steady that my cheeks burned worse. “That’s why I want to get there early, so I can be there. I’ve known Mikki since she came to the station. She won’t do anything without permission.”

I squeezed his hand. “I know. It’s just instinct by now.”

“That’s alright. I’ll explain you may have some apprehension. But you won’t be alone.” Wow. I…I had never been assured of that. I almost started crying all over again. Ives pulled into the station parking lot. “If it’s too uncomfortable, you don’t have to stay. You can tell me if you want to leave, and we will.”

I nodded, trying not to choke up. “Thank you. I should be fine. Especially with you there.”

He nodded and helped both me and Niner out, and Niner walked right beside me, letting me pet her soft little head. He led me through the same door as yesterday, but this time, we turned left and walked up to a heavy-duty door with no hinges or lock. Just a black pad on the wall.

Ives put his hand on the pad, and the door hissed and opened inwards. Niner ran inside. “This is the Synthetic barracks. Without Beau or I here, Mikki should be the only one here.” He took my hand as he led me inside.

It looked similar to the rest of the station, just a lot more lights since there weren’t any windows. It didn’t look too stark, at least. There were a lot of other doors lining the hall as we walked, with pads just like the one outside the main door. But we kept going until the hallway opened up into a big room, with a rug in the center and counters and cabinets labeled with parts, chairs to sit in, and even what looked like two gardens. A pretty lady who was shorter than Valetta, with dark brown skin and white, coily hair, worked on fixing some kind of machine. My cheeks heated up. She was so pretty.

She didn’t look up as she spoke. “Ives, please tell me you haven’t been hit by another truck.” He didn’t respond, and she turned around. Damn. Her dark brown eyes were pretty too. She blinked rapidly as she looked me over.

“Mikki, this is Chess,” Ives said.

“She needs an ambulance. She’s burning up,” she said.

“No, no she doesn’t,” Ives interrupted. “She has…a condition and I suggested she speak to you to get your opinion.” Mikki continued to blink.

“Of course,” she whispered. She motioned over to the chairs for us to sit down, and I did. “It’s nice to meet you, Chess. I usually only work on emergency situations, much like a paramedic, but I’m happy to do what I can.” She daintily sat, crossing her legs at the knee as she offered her hand to shake.

I didn’t even know where to begin, shaking her hand and blushing worse. She was just so pretty. So, I tried to explain, even though I barely knew what to say. I sat down, coughing up a wisp of smoke. “I’m, well, my prosthetics aren’t from this world, really, and they give me fire magic. And I’m thinking in relation to that, there’s something, maybe a fire in my lungs, that’s burning my throat and making me cough up smoke especially when I’m stressed. My magic is also the reason why my internal body temperature is higher than normal. But I just wanted to see if that was right, or if there was something really wrong with me.” Damn. That was a fucking terrible explanation.

Mikki stared at me for a bit until she popped up, hands slapping her knee. “Oh! I’d be happy to help.” She grabbed the arms of the chair and stood, shuffling closer to sit next to me. “First, do you mind if I take a scan of your arm? Just to familiarize myself with the level of tech we’re working with here. No poking or prodding,” she tapped the side of her head, “it’s all by sight.”

Wow. She was taking this more in stride than I thought she would. I hadn’t explained well, but I wasn’t sure how to explain better without getting into a whole ramble, so I just went with it. I nodded. “I’m fine with that.” I took off my jacket so the full extent of my arm prosthetic could be seen.

“Thank you, dear.” She smiled and gently took my wrist. I still flinched and almost pulled back at her touch, but it wasn’t bad. So I forced myself to relax as she looked it over. “You weren’t making it up when you said other world. I’m not familiar with any kind of design like this.”

“Is it similar to anything we have?” Ives asked.

“Yes and no. There are similarities, much like the carbon base of the structure, but the hardness and makeup of just the outer structure of her arm is probably ten times of ours.” She started blinking rapidly again as she slowly moved my wrist. “Honestly this is impressive. But…”

There was a long pause, and Ives frowned. “But?”

“It’s deep.” Mikki stilled, looking up my arm, to my shoulder and even across to my chest. “There’s a fissure here, where the prosthetic ends in some type of…port. Where it’s attached to biological tissue. But it’s been altered. Something akin to scar tissue but much more dense. And there are these energy points?” She made a face. “Different node-like points that are wired into the arm and similar ones in her lungs -the temperatures make the scans difficult to read clearly. But they’re almost like flecks of stone? Gems? Uh…some type of organic matter feeding from one another.”

Fuck. I hadn’t been able to follow all that. “Um. I don’t know anything about these, so you could tell me nonsense, and I’d think you were telling the truth. So, I don’t really have any comment. Sorry.”

“Understandable.” Mikki smiled, and she didn’t seem mad. “I admit I don’t fully understand what I’m looking at either. I’d need time to study it. But do you mind if I take a look at your mouth? Just a quick peek to see what I can tell of the burning?” She stood and walked to one of the cabinets, where she grabbed what looked to be a small flashlight and mirror. She held them out to show me. “If you want, I’ll keep studying these scans to see if there’s a way we may be able to take things apart, get rid of these points to possibly remove the effects of fire.”

I nodded, even though I tensed a little. “I’m fine with that. On both accounts.”

“Okay.” Mikki giggled and sat down, scooting closer, and I just tried to relax. “Alright, dear, open your mouth please.” I did so, trying not to flinch, but she was done way quicker than I thought she would be, so that was nice.

She moved back, frowning. “I see some scarring. Irritation. But I was expecting much worse. I’m sure it’s still painful however. Humans aren’t made to be furnaces, and I don’t think you’re the exception.”

Before I could respond, the door to the barracks opened, and Ives turned. I frowned up at him before looking back as well. A thin man in a navy jacket with thick glasses walked in, and Ives stiffened.

“Mikki,” he hissed. Wait, was that an Auditor? Oh, I was going to fucking punch him in the face if he was mean.

“I don’t know either,” Mikki responded, dropping her tools and grabbing my jacket, wrapping it around my shoulders. The Fucking Auditor walked in and stopped, looking all of us over, frowning at Mikki. I ducked my head, knowing I should at least try to be safe.

“What’s going on here?” He looked between Mikki and Ives. “Auditors are the only humans authorized back here.”

“She’s known around the station and she had some questions about feeling unwell,” Mikki said, standing up and calmly folding her hands. “I brought her in to check things over since it would be faster than calling an EMT. What can I help you with?”

“Get her out. She could be a liability if something happened while she was back here.” He scowled and pointed at Ives, and I tensed. He was looking at Ives like people had looked at me before. “We found abnormalities with IV5’s protocols. We need to take it in for system debugging.”

It. I had to clench my jaw to keep myself from speaking up, but I was starting to shake. “Sir, I was cleared yesterday,” Ives said. “We went over every possible exam and I was told—”

“Backtalk isn’t a protocol, is it?” The Fucking Auditor chuckled through his nose, peering over the top of his glasses. “Come on.”

“Could you please reach out to Doctor Yew?”

“Uh, no. Mouth shut, feet moving.” He clapped his hands.

Oh fuck no. This bastard wasn’t going to be this terrible to Ives. No one else should have to go through what I had. I stood up, glaring at him and shaking. “Why don’t you learn to shut your mouth? Don’t fucking talk to him like that.”

Ives jumped and looked back at me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. He moved slightly in front of me as if he wanted to protect me from the Fucking Auditor. “Chess, it’s okay.”

“Wow.” The Fucking Auditor chuckled. “Let me guess, you’re the type who names your car or your laptop. This is corporate business, and that is a souped-up walking tablet. Why am I even arguing with you? You’re not even supposed to be back here.”

Fuck that! I shoved past Ives as I glared at the Fucking Auditor. How could someone call him that? “He has thoughts, and he can make decisions. He’s more of a human than you are if you let yourself get brainwashed by that nonsense.” My fire flared up, so when I spoke, smoke leaked from my mouth.

“Chess.” Ives followed me, putting his hands on my shoulders and trying to pull me back, but I stayed right where I was, glaring at the Fucking Auditor as he stared at me curiously. I didn’t even care. As long as he wasn’t looking at Ives that way again.

“Brainwashed? It’s facts. Numbers. Its thoughts are all programming. Binary. You sound like those little shit protestors.”

I growled as smoke hissed out of my mouth, and I wriggled out of Ives’s grip, only focusing on the Fucking Auditor. I dashed forward, and once I was close enough, I swung back and used my full force behind my prosthetic fist to hit him square in the nose. It broke and crunched beneath my fist. I felt a thrill of satisfaction as I followed the Fucking Auditor to the ground to keep punching him. “Get out of here! You’re not taking him anywhere!”

I couldn’t even punch him again before Ives grabbed my wrist and wrapped his other arm around my waist, where he picked me up. I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he didn’t budge.

The Fucking Auditor clutched his face, where his nose was already starting to bleed (ha!), as he sat up. “What is that?” His voice even sounded choked! Ives moved away from him as he stared at my prosthetic arm. Ah. Well, still better than him staring at Ives like that. Ives turned us away from him, but not before I could flip him off. “Bring her back, IV5. Let me see that arm.”

I snarled and struggled again. He hadn’t called Ives by his name! “You’ll see more of my arm when I punch you in the face again! You bastard!” But then I glanced up at Ives, and he looked scared, and I fell still.

He hurried out of the barracks, not setting me down and almost holding me too tightly. He headed back the way we came, but when he got there, there were more Auditors, hands to their ears, as if listening to something. They turned to look at us, and I couldn’t let Ives get hurt, so I slipped out of Ives’s arms and ran at the Auditors, fully prepared to fight all of them.

At least until Garnet appeared out of nowhere and grabbed me, carrying me over a shoulder. Fuck! I hated how short I was! I kept struggling as he turned to Ives and then the Auditors, first speaking to me. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. There you are, we were looking all over for you.” He looked back at Ives, and I looked around to see that Fucking Auditor stagger into view. The shit. “Sorry about that, man. Kid sisters -whaddya do? She had a minor accident on the way here, might have a little bit of a concussion.” He laughed, but it sounded strained.

I fell still again, realizing what they were doing. But I tried to sneakily find a way out of Garnet’s grip. I just wanted to punch the bastards! I made sure to whisper to him to let him know what was going on. “They’re…they’re going to take Ives!”

Garnet gave me a reassuring squeeze and started backing away. “He’s got this under control,” he grunted. But that didn’t matter! They were treating him terribly! He shouldn’t have to have it under control!

“Let me go and let my supervisor know I won’t be in today,” Ives said calmly. One of the Auditors nodded, and he started walking, with Garnet following. But it wasn’t fair! They were going to hurt him! What if they would hurt him worse because I had acted out?

Garnet set me down, keeping hold of my hand. “What’s going on?”

Fuck, I had messed everything up. I coughed up some smoke as I started breathing too quickly. I had to stop walking as I got unsteady on my feet. “We…we came early so I could meet Mikki and start to learn more about my prosthetics and magic. And…that damn bastard showed up and…called Ives ‘it’ and said he was just a glorified tablet, and I…I couldn’t stand thinking what they’ll do to him.” Tears started streaking down my cheeks.

“Hey, hey,” he pulled me into an empty room. “No, don’t do that. It’s okay. Look, he’s gonna be okay.” He held me by the shoulders and had to crouch down to look in my face because I was so fucking short. “I…I know they’re shitty. They do Beau the same way, and I’m kinda jealous you got to sock one in the face. Think you broke his nose.” He chuckled and tried to dry my tears. “They do Beau the same way. But, our hands are kinda tied. Technically they belong to the company.” He frowned. “But don’t worry, he’s gonna be fine. I’ll call their supervisor, Dr. Yew, and smooth things over. He’ll be okay.”

I had to laugh a little about breaking the bastard’s nose. And that helped distract me enough to actually calm down a little. “It was pretty satisfying to feel his nose break under my fist. But…I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have even gotten involved. I just. I can’t let someone insult my friends.”

He smiled. “I bet it was. You’re really packin’. But it’s okay, I get it…I get it. You’re not wrong for that. C’mon, let’s go meet him before he comes back this way.” He took my hand and glanced up and down the hallway before heading after Ives. We passed the office I had been in yesterday, what looked like a breakroom, and through the lobby into another hallway, meeting Ives as he left another room. He stared at Garnet before looking down at me.

“Yeah, uh,” Garnet fumbled a little. “I gotta go make a phone call. Didn’t wanna leave her on her own.” He let go of my hand, leaving.

I ducked my head as tears blurred my vision again. Beau had already told me that I should probably stay away from Auditors, and I had already fucked that up. “I’m…I’m sorry. I should have thought a little. But he was treating you like you aren’t a person with thoughts and feelings, and that’s bullshit, and I won’t—can’t—stand for it. I hope I didn’t make it worse.”

I gasped a little when he wrapped me up in a hug. But I immediately hugged him back, burying my face in his shirt. He was so comfortable, and I felt so safe around him. “I thought I told you to stop apologizing,” he whispered. “Thank you.” He laughed a little. “I appreciate you standing up for me, it was very kind of you.”

I started to sob. He wasn’t mad at me. “Their words aren’t fucking true. You matter and you are worth way more than they try to tell you. I’ll always fucking protect you. I care deeply for you, and I better see you well tonight, or I’m burning their whole damn building down. Whichever one it is." I froze and gasped. “Wait, but what about Niner? Is she going to be okay without you?”

“I’ll be back.” He laughed, but it sounded a little mechanical. I still didn’t know what that meant. “Thank you, Chess. Please don’t cry, please don’t worry. I promise, I’ll be back.” He leaned away and tucked my hair behind my ears and tried to dry my face. Fuck. I was crying way too much. “Niner will be alright, too. She’ll be here, with Mikki. They’ll be okay. But I want you to stay with the others today. I don’t feel comfortable having you on your own. Will you spend the day with Beau or Valetta or someone?”

I nodded and pulled back, wiping at my eyes. “Okay. I…I trust you. I’ll see you soon then. I’ll spend the day with one of the others. Promise.”

“I have to go now.” He hesitated and looked down the hall before leaning down and pecking my cheek. My cheeks burned. “We’ll go to the beach when I get back. Alright?”

I nodded. I didn’t want to let him go. It felt like I was letting him go to the same hell I only remembered snippets of. But I was fucking powerless. I hugged him tightly before pulling away. “I’ll hold you to it.”

“Do, I’m very adamant about keeping my word.” He trailed his hand down my prosthetic, taking my hand. He led me back to the office, where Beau was standing by Garnet’s desk. Beau saw us and hurried over. Ives squeezed my hand. “I’ll see you tonight.”

I squeezed his hand back and watched him until he was out of sight, before I turned to Beau. It was nice to see him, even though my emotions were all over the place right now. I smiled fleetingly. “What a day already, huh?”

“Did you really break an Auditor’s nose?” He had a giggle in his tone. “Garnet said you broke their nose!” Garnet shushed him. “That’s amazing,” he peeped. “I wish I could’ve seen it.” His smile wavered. “Ives will be okay. I’ve gone in for debugging before, it isn’t bad. It’s more like stasis -or sleeping. It’ll be just a second for him.” He snapped his fingers.

I nodded. It still sounded wrong. “But how can you stand having to deal with people who treat you that way? But yeah.” A smile pulled at my lips. “I broke his nose. Felt the crunch and everything.”

Beau’s nose wrinkled, face scrunching. “Gross.” He snickered. “But it…we don’t usually have to work with them that much. It’s kinda like bad weather, it comes and goes, but I have the team here! They’re like my sunshine!” He waved me over to Garnet’s desk and pulled a chair over for me too.

Garnet was still on the phone. “Yeah, I just feel like maybe there’s a misunderstanding.” He glanced over at me. “If you could, Dr. Yew, I’d appreciate it. Yeah…thanks again. Bye.” He hung up and sighed. “Dr. Yew says he’ll be there waiting on them, see what all this is about.”

I ducked my head. How much had I messed up? “I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“I don’t think you really caused any trouble. I mean, that guy might throw a fit about his nose later, but there’s no cameras back there. Doesn’t have any real proof. If anything Dr. Yew was just as confused. He didn’t really expect Ives back, so that’s what he was going to check out. Don’t think you really ruffled any feathers.”

I nodded, still not looking him in the eyes. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t worry, Dr. Yew will take care of him,” Beau assured. He rested a hand on my shoulder. “Would you like to come with us today? It’s supposed to be a nice day out. We can give you a low tier look around if you want.”

I nodded and smiled a little. That sounded so nice. “That sounds good. I don’t think I want to stay in this building today anyway.” What if the Auditors came back, wanting to look at my prosthetics?

Beau bounced excitedly, and we chatted as we waited for Garnet to be done with whatever else he had to do. Once he was done, he stood up. “Hungry? Want some breakfast?” He led us to the parking lot, to the same car they had used yesterday. I could still see the waves in the glass from my fire. “We can get whatever you want. Surely there’s got to be some kinda food here that you’d like.” Garnet bumped a shoulder with me.

My stomach growled loudly, of course. But I had no idea what breakfast looked like here. “Yes, I am. But what’s your favorite place for breakfast?”

“Oh, now you’ve done it,” Beau muttered. I was surprised when he decided to sit in the back. Looked like I was supposed to sit in the passenger seat.

Garnet got into the driver’s seat. “I know this great place, it’s a bodega right before you get downtown. Used to go there all the time when I first moved here. They make all kinds of crazy food.” He closed the console and moved the screen from my seat so I could sit down. “Beau, Jesus, what were you doing in here last? It’s a mess.”

“I was looking for something.”

“Apparently. Here, Chess, you can slide in now. You…you forget your jacket today?” Oh shit. It had fallen off when I had rushed the Auditor and punched him. “Are you warm enough? Want to use mine?” He took off his police jacket, and I eyed it and grimaced. It just…had a symbol of cops, and even if cops were better here, I still hated any symbol relating to them.

“I should be fine. I’m sorry, I just don’t feel comfortable wearing that. I think I lost my jacket in the barracks. But the breakfast place sounds amazing!”

“Ah, yeah, that’s alright. And we can ask Mikki about your jacket later. See if she’s got it. But sure! Let’s go get you something to eat.” I got in, and he headed out. I stared out of the window, enjoying the sights. “So, you got to meet Mikki? What’d you think?”

“She’s nice. She asked permission before doing anything. And she said she’d study her scans more to try and figure out how to help with the fire.”

“I like Mikki,” Beau piped up. “But she can be scary sometimes.”

“That’s because you’re always jumping into trouble and getting yourself busted up, bud.” Garnet chuckled, glancing at him through the rear view mirror. “Mikki’s good, and I’m glad she was able to take a look at it before those I.T. bastards came in and made a mess. If anyone can figure it out, it’d be Mikki.”

I nodded, but that Fucking Auditor had seemed so interested in looking at my prosthetics… “She said they were similar to those here, but there were key differences. And…the Auditor, after I punched him, he wanted to see my prosthetics closer. He told Ives to bring me to him.” My voice got quiet at the end.

Beau and Garnet got quiet too. Garnet looked in the rear view mirror again before he spoke. “Did he?” There was a hint of anger in his voice, and I got a little worried he was mad at me for punching the Auditor. “Well, we’re definitely not letting that happen. If I catch any of them snooping around they’re going to get worse than a broken nose. Good on Ives for getting you out of there.” He took a deep breath and looked over at me. Oh. He wasn’t mad at me? “So don’t you worry about any of them. Today is gonna be about getting good food, learning about the city, and maybe running a few traffic stops -well, I’ll run the traffic stops. I gotta look like I’m doing something. Beau ran them last time, so you two can just take it easy.”

I got choked up, almost started crying again. They were just all so nice. It was so hard to believe that people were so nice on this world. I just stayed quiet and watched out the window until we got to the breakfast place. I stared at the menu, not recognizing anything, but at least there were pictures.

Garnet glanced over at me. “See anything you like?”

I tilted my head. “Maybe bacon and waffles? I’ve never heard of them, but they sound good.”

“Never had.” He trailed off with a laugh. “You’re gonna live it. Want anything, Beautician?” Beau shook his head, and Garnet pulled up and chatted with the cashier and ordered. He even got me a drink. They handed over the food, and Garnet handed me what I ordered. My mouth watered, and my stomach growled loudly again, and I opened the container as Garnet left. I got hit with the smell of the food, and my mouth watered even more.

He glanced at me. “I’m just gonna cruise around for a bit, make sure everyone’s playing nice. But let me know if my driving gets too much or if you rather sit in the back with Beau out of the sun. Don’t want you getting motion sickness.”

Garnet seemed subdued, and Beau was quiet, so I had to make a bad joke to lighten the mood. “I’ve had enough experience that I know I don’t get motion sickness.”

Garnet started to bite into his sandwich, but he stopped. It took him a bit, but he gave a wicked laugh. “Oh, that’s terrible. I shouldn’t laugh at that.” He was still snickering. “That was a good one. I walked right into that one.”

I laughed too, feeling lighter at being able to get Garnet to laugh. I took my first bite of the waffle, after I had put the syrup on top of it like the picture had shown, and I froze, almost starting to cry again. This was such amazing food; every food on this world was amazing. I had never tasted food that was this good. “You guys have access to this food every day and you don’t get it all the time? This is amazing!”

“Yeah, but there’s a buncha different kinds. You kinda learn to rotate them.” Garnet snickered. “Trust me, there’s some bad ones too. Some really weird stuff, like that -Beau, what was that stuff that librarian brought us after career day?”

“The mayonnaise salad on pear halves?” Beau perked up.

“God, yeah. That was bad. But there’s an endless amount of options. The city’s pretty diverse, so it’ll probably take you forever to run out of options.” He pointed out some other food places. “So just say if you see something you want to try.”

I watched the city go by out the car window as I finished up my food. Garnet kept pointing things out and explaining where everything was, and I paid attention as long as I could, but I was full and happy, and I felt safe, so I fell asleep without even realizing it.

[pequodz]

yeah bro tell me about mr nobody!

okay, so! i’ll split this up into comic book and tv show ver cause they may overlap in like,,things,,but some things are very different lol; anyways!

comic book:

- so fuck grant morrison; he did mr nobody dirty and he isnt really a villian; like sure he is very chaotic but he doesnt want to hurt people ((unless its cops n facist, fuck that noise))

- so his body is mostly 3d; expect his head which is completly 2d and when you look at him its like one of those illiusions yknow? 

-expanding on that! he can also strech and squish his body like a rubberhose character! def likes to grab people from far away and hug them and tangle them up in his arms,,

-gay; like i’ll talk abt this point more in tv show mr nobody cause i do what i want but yeah; he loves men a lot and before he was mr nobody had alot of interlized homophobia; but the white space kinda helped with that in a way?? he basically grew to be who he wanted to be and now is tottally fine with just kissing men

-very expressive! even if he doesnt have a mouth, body and eye wise he is all over the place; also bc he goes by toon logical and yknow; powers n shit can just add little effcts around him like hearts and stars

-sometimes he comes off as a bit arrogant; but he really doesnt mean to and if anybody takes it the wrong way and is upset would apoligize purfously about it

-loves to sing! will just break into song while doing stuff

i could go on about him but time for a bastardtv show

-really fucking hates niles; like this is just canon but even after s1 he still is bitter and hopes he dies like the rest of us

-in his usual form (ie the cracked one where he’s got all the cool lights in his body) he has the same rubberhose physics as his comic book counter part; but he mostly revolves around stuff he can make out of nothing so he usually doesnt go to that unless he wants to be annoying

-jewish because i make the rules

-okay so he had really bad interlized homophobia and basically just decides to say fuck it and do a larry where he just forced himself to fall inlove with a woman; when she rejected him after he got fired from the brotherhood of evil he went on a downwards spiral and basically hated himself cause yknow; he thought he was doing it wrong. so ontop of all the other stuff that caused him to undergo the experiment by that nazi bitch he just wanted to fix himself; however after he got turned into mr nobody; unlike the rest of the doom patrol he fucking loved himself; and actually learned to accept who he was as well. this is a larry speedrun is what im saying

-thinks the stupidest shit is funny; basically surreal meme humor and that fucking monkey poo poo stinky videos are his shit

-needs to wear extravegent clothing or he cant funcition; also a sucker for pinstripe and checker patterns

-love...confuses him; or just any strong good emotions make him very confused; not necerally when other people are experiencing them but when he feels love?? g-d he gets confused and doesnt know what do to

-not to be self insert on main but he physically feels cold, like even if its hot out if you touch his hand its fucking freezing; mostly does that to keep people away but will physically warms up if you lay with him,,

again i could go on but this is the general stuff, i could also keep going on abt self insert stuff if you want

[gurguliare]

Ok, ok, Hieron wrapup notes, pending epilogue

Hadrian: Strengths and problems of Hadrian’s arc are for me aptly summarized in the jump from 1) Hadrian eking out a moral victory of sorts over Samot and the gods at the not inconsiderable cost of taking judgment into his own hands one last time---it’s all well and good to talk about Hadrian being in no position to pass judgment, but then, he wasn’t with Jericho, either, and sending Samot to Aubade is not a neutral choice. Of course no neutral choice exists! and the important thing is he no longer considers himself a mere weapon in the hands of a higher justice, but a person making a decision, which (as it turns out) simplifies the decision exactly as much as being a weapon did back in the day.---to 2) Hadrian cracking a joke about how, if his wife and child were hurt, of course he would pursue Samot to hell and back. Hadrian the family man exists, conflict-free, on a planet of eyewatering sentimentalism. I don’t really understand why. It has something to do with how they chose to handle Hadrian’s “redemption” or anyway recuperation as a character capable of normal communal life, after what I guess we’re now supposed to understand as his antisocial spiral in s1---laugh with me, it’s good to laugh---with his somber diagnosis of Samot as having spent Too Long Away From His Family also applying to his past self. Um. 

Of course Hadrian was never intended as a reliable narrator, but it’s hard for me to do much with that when his narrative isn’t countered by anything else in the text; we meet Benjamin and (less often) Rosana in other contexts, but we don’t get their view of Hadrian, much, and when we do it hews to a narrow pattern of concern and exasperation, as if Hadrian were only an aging action hero this close to claiming his retirement benefits. They lament his recklessness but seem not to notice the dogmatism or the listless doubts that replace it. (That’s with the fact that doubt, if anything, makes him a worse husband and father.) Despite her often-stressed importance to the surviving followers of the church, Rosana’s religious feelings are largely a cipher, and she’s almost never in a position to witness or comment on Hadrian’s most dramatic struggles with faith. So “family” and “faith” remain separate, unable to complicate or inform each other. It’s a shame, because I theoretically am really charmed by the story where a man’s incrementally degraded---not even broken!---faith is the mechanism of his salvation, and by the end he and Samot have swapped places, Samot incapable of not pursuing bitter, futile, barbarous justice and Hadrian very relaxed. The problem for me is that Hadrian ironically restored to his devout family through heresy is never treated as the strange accomplishment it is, and it’s not something he has to work for; I know we get Benjamin scenes this season, I understand the narrative function is to gesture to the very thing I’m describing, but I don’t mean “work for” in the sense of “carving out more time for family dinners.” I mean “acknowledging and accounting for Hadrian’s failings,” rather than glossing his escape almost as a matter of removing the temptation of belief, problem solved.  

Hella: I’m in a similar place with Hella; I like the skeleton of her complete arc, I don’t think it ever got the development it needed and it’s missing some key connections. I got a lot of joy from Ali affirming the thread of Hella’s relationship to Ordenna, from s1 avoidance to s2 voluntary exile to s3 final, reluctant return and assumption of responsibility. For me, it’s compelling to look back and realize that Hella essentially begins in a place that Hadrian only reaches circa Winter: having not rejected, but unobtrusively fled, a culture which failed to inculcate her completely with its horrible values---in part because she was too cowardly to adopt them---but that left her with a tangle of blind prejudice and bravado, the relief of freedom making her that much happier to perform “big tough Ordennan,” as long as she stayed far away from Ordenna. I love... of course I love Velas, in concept, I love and will always love FATT’s shitty compromise cities, cosmopolitan and democratic of necessity rather than out of any high ideal. Yes! We get it! I imprinted on Terry Pratchett, I don’t need to say it every time! But the fact that Hella identifies with Velas and befriends Calhoun in Velas and that they have this common experience of “shit, maybe the world is a bigger place than I realized, maybe it’s not actually a choice between tyranny and anarchy every time” ... makes me really verklempt. And in Nacre they both fall back on old habits and Velas barely seems real; for both of them, Nacre has an unpleasant tinge of “reality” asserting itself over a dream---for Calhoun, returning there is obviously something he’s always feared, but for Hella it’s the discovery that the Ordennan state was more right than she knew, that gods and magic exist, and aren’t just bogeymen used to keep Ordennans off the mainland; and, on a deeper level, that Ordenna’s narrow pride is a reaction to a far older and more arbitrary authority.

So she kills Calhoun---“If she’s going to, then why don’t I?” Escape is so unlikely, caught between Ordenna and Nacre, that helping others find it would be a frivolous proposition: the only person Hella hopes to save is Hella. Then she goes home to learn that Velas is also in mortal danger, that the whole world will soon be Ordenna (and Nacre.) She’s ensured it. No wonder her nihilism at the start of Winter is much more marked, and she finally starts to accept that escape isn’t there for the seizing, that there isn’t an outside.

And then she... goes to Aubade?

This is where it starts to break down for me, as with Hadrian and his family. In theory, I get why actually showing Hella what it means to live away from savage god-eat-god imperialism gives her the courage and vision to face Hieron head-on. I think the line about “surrounding herself with clever people” is great and gets at the point that her education, her personal growth, are not meaningless just because they’re the product of artificial intervention, fantastical prosthesis. But, I dunno, in execution it’s so spotty. Part of it is that Adelaide has to come to her senses at the same time, but that process happens very quietly and never gets free of Hella’s orbit---the scene where she asks Hella for a reason to leave Aubade is good, but comes at the price of other scenes in which we see them, for example, negotiate the terms of Adularia’s existence together. Hella as Death’s Servant reads too much as "running Adelaide’s errands,” not enough as her ardent champion, and I’m not saying that every Ali character has to become a zealot before they’re done for me to be satisfied, but hey! If this is you redeeming Nacre and its ideals from the start of the show, then redeem those things! And give Hella the space for her return to Ordenna to feel like atonement, rather than “one last job”... it’s such a good atonement, is the thing, the only possible one, because for all that she’s changed, Ordenna is still the one place where you can imagine Hella Varal having something to teach people. 

Probably the solution to this would involve triangulating with the sentience of the Anchor; since Ordenna got the plans from Nacre, Adelaide should take partial responsibility in the cleanup there, as well, and not only in releasing Hieron from the curse. Keep the two plots in conversation to the end. But I’m not sure what exactly that would have looked like; something with Hella’s new body, maybe. 

Fantasmo: I love Nick. Thanks to Nick for half-assedly speedrunning Fantasmo through Fourteen’s bit of “in lieu of character development, what if: uplifting character regression?” I cracked the fuck up at him using “Dominate” solely to make Samot captive audience. Audience... to the world’s most insipid power-of-heart lecture, which was honestly very sweet as an obvious truth Fantasmo once knew, or knew well enough to mouth. I did love all the grace notes about the Last University in the finale, still nameless, still a refuge.