#tangent but like. you'll be okay. creativity / productivity is hard to come across during hard times and you're doing great just being here

[tsukidrama]

First of all, and let me just clear my throat, YOUR NEW FIC TITLED "PLEASE BE... A COWARD" BROKE ME. I'M GOING TO SWEAR. FUCK. THAT WAS AMAZING. SERIOUSLY LIFE CHANGING. I WILL WRITE MORE ABOUT IT WHEN I CAN CALM DOWN. KNOW THAT I LOVE IT AND IT MADE ME CRY (KEEP IN MIND I CRY A LOT BUT STILL).

Back to normal now, are you feeling much better in terms of corona virus symptoms? I understand the "just debilitating exhaustion" part, usually when I'm very sick I just go into a coma-type-thing and heal for a day or so. I hate to repeat things but, I do hope you are feeling better.

I one-hundred percent agree that Annie would be the no nonsense type when writing letters. It's the same as when she wraps presents, why not just get to the point? I'm also really glad it's going to be a long chapter! When I saw your lasted fic was around eight thousand words, I scrambled to read it.

Let me say that I really enjoyed your writing, especially for that new piece of work. The part that, like I mentioned before, made me cry was not too far from the beginning. "Once everything is out and you’re gagging on an empty stomach, you sob to yourself as you stare at the empty beds around you. There were still belongings strewn about the room, discarded pajamas, and half-unpacked travel bags. Are you supposed to get rid of this stuff? Will someone else eventually clear it out?"

I actually had to put my phone down. I don't really know why it got to me so much. I always did find abrupt, unexpected tragedies worse than slow ones, I guess. Just-- the thought of the reader and the other people in that dorm waking up, only to never return, and they didn't even know it? Horrible, no thank you. Not horrible in a bad way, just in a might-cry-again way. Seriously though, that excerpt evoked a serious reaction out of me, along with when Annie cried about wanting to go home. The whole thing broke me in the best way possible.

This message is a bit longer than usual, and as usual I would like to apologize for taking a while. I've been trying to feel better and get more motivated, and it worked for a while but I think I feel a funk coming on again. No matter, I'm probably just tired. I haven't been getting good sleep, which I'm in the process of fixing.

Once again, I wish you well,

Pink Anon

never apologize babe! i love the long messages, you know this! i am FINALLY feeling better. i don't feel outright sick anymore and for the first time in weeks i tested negative! i went and got some food yesterday and it was amazing. no work still, i'll be housewife-ing until i get more strength back and i kind of never want to do anything else ever again :/

not gonna split this one up because i'm just gonna answer all at once. i'm laaaazy sorry. as for the fic:

;)) and also :( :( :(( :( but mostly thank you ! i'm so sorry to like my readers in general right now because i've really been slinging the Angst around like it ain't shit, every fic is soul shredding. the never-ceasing torment in my soul is strong right now apparently. does it make you feel a little better that this is by far the saddest chapter in this... triad? trilogy? of these three fics, whatever you wanna call it. there's more painful stuff like for fucking sure but it's relatively run-of-the-mill Annie stuff. so like, more blatant lying to each other, some realizations, and then in p3 i was going to address... THE BEYTRAL! okay so maybe that's gonna hurt a lot, but i do think that this was a particularly rough fic. i've been rewatching season 1 and you really forget how scary the pure titans are and how traumatic that shit is. the smiling titan gave me nightmares for like, weeks, the first time i watched. trost arc is brutal and i wanted to embody that for everyone, especially since Annie is FRESH on that just-killed-Marco-guilt. i've wanted to write a fic like this for YEEEEAAAARRRRRSSSS so this felt good to publish. the idea of her being alone during her worst moments eviscerates me -- i would have been there for u babygirl.