#talking trash about louis and his sisters and his career

[dreamings-free]

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[ear-worthy]

Please Stop With The Celebrity Interview Podcasts

Remember the good old days on TV and radio when celebrities were interviewed by people trained to ask questions in a public forum? Ah, the old days. A troubling and annoying trend in podcasting is the fire hose of celebrity interview shows.

I love Julia Louis Dreyfuss. I loved her in Seinfeld and especially in Veep. She has a new podcast called 50 Women Over 50. It’s pitched as a “podcast for women whose personal confidence is borne of experience. Interviews with 50 women to learn how they see the world; what lessons they’ve learned; what advice they have for us all.”

It’s just that every celebrity with a little time on their hands has plunged into the interview podcast pool, and all that splashing has listeners wondering how they ended in the deep end of this ego-stroking pool.

Celebrity podcasts have overwhelmed the sea wall built to protect listeners from celebrity self-love, self-absorption, and self-actualization.

We have the heavy hitters like Meghan Markle in Archetypes and Michelle Obama and then the lesser-known celebs like Justin Long, Gwyneth Paltrow and Goop (Heaven help us), and Seth Rogen.

It’s not that all of these celebrity podcasts are bad — except for Snooki & Joey — but like true-crime podcasts, there are just too many of them.

There are so many of these podcasts that there is a podcast called the Celebrity Podcast Podcast that covers celebrity podcasts. Talk about meta.

So I know what you’re saying? What’s your problem?

After all, broadcast TV has lovable trash like The Bachelor and Bachelorette and The Masked Singer. Discovery has an entire channel dedicated to skewering humanity with shows like 1000-lb Sisters and MILF Manor (jeez).

No problem. To each its own. But TV also has Abbott Elementary, Ghosts, Yellowstone, and 60 Minutes.

My problem is that I’m frightened that podcasting will be the recycling plant for celebrities with nothing to do or those with fading careers inundating the medium. Podcasting already has a problem with the true-crime genre overwhelming the medium.

Podcasting, like TV and radio, is a zero-sum game. We are definitely seeing that now in streaming TV, where execs just woke up and realized streaming isn’t a moneymaker. On TV, for example, all those Chicago shows, NCIS spinoffs, or Law And Order franchises crowd out other potential shows that offer viewers quality programming at a similar cost.

In podcasting, there are some terrific interview shows. Fresh Air, WTF with Marc Maron, How I Built This, Vox Conversations, Jemele Hill Is Unbothered, and The Jordan Harbinger Show, and so many more.

With Spotify and other networks pulling back on money and resources for podcasting, every new celebrity podcast means one less potential quality podcast from a person listeners have not yet heard of.

There’s an old maxim in entertainment — and in life — that media execs will always destroy a good show, by giving the audience too much of a good thing.

In 2001, ABC put on its hit game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire with Regis Philbin four nights a week. At the time, the show was riding the crest of incredible ratings, societal ubiquity, and the public’s obsession with the latest shiny new object. So what happened? The show got canceled because viewers eventually got tired of all that overexposure.

Back to celebrity podcasts. How many is too many? Sometimes, it seems like every celebrity has a podcast. Does a celebrity on a reality show who became famous for “Karen” behavior really deserve a podcast? And isn’t that podcast going to crowd out the aspirational podcasters who start their own interview shows without the spotlight of having received a rose ten years ago on a reality TV show?

Marc Maron was not a celebrity when he started his podcast out of his garage. Believe it or not, Joe Rogan was simply a former reality show TV host when he started his podcast.

Are all those celebrity podcasts flooding the podcasting space, crowding out the potential for unknowns to surface and become household names? Is podcasting becoming Kardashian-ized like reality TV?

It’s bad enough that Dr. Phil has a podcast. So no more TV castoffs and celebrity laughingstocks on podcasts. If celebrities are sliding into podcasting, please make it people like Dreyfuss, Lupita Nyong’o, and Emma Watson.

For me, the best celebrity podcast is Clear+Vivid with Alan Alda. Smart, intellectually curious, and far-ranging, the show is, as one reviewer commented, “The perfect mix of insightful and humanistic conservation.”

[hlupdate]

When One Direction went on hiatus in late 2015, everybody figured Louis Tomlinson was poised for instant pop success as a solo star. After all, he co-wrote so many of the group’s most beloved tunes. But he’s just finding his voice now. His hotly anticipated solo debut, the excellent Walls (due out Friday), is worth the wait. “It took me a second to get here,” Louis says with a laugh. “So it’s a bit of a relief. Because there was a lot of treading water.”

With 1D, Tomlinson was always famed for his cocky wit and his combative “Sassy Louis” bravado. But in recent years, he’s had to face intense heartbreak. In 2016, his mother died of cancer. Last year he released his poignant tribute “Two of Us” — but just two weeks later, his family was hit by tragedy again when his teenage sister suddenly passed away. Walls is full of personal reckoning, but it’s also the sound of a pop artist hitting a new creative breakthrough, as in the Oasis-style Britpop guitar blast “Kill My Mind.” Gearing up for his first solo tour, Louis took a break to discuss life after One Direction, dealing with grief, feuding with indie boys, turning 28, starting over in public, and how it feels to hear his ex-bandmates’ songs on the radio.

Congratulations on the new album. It sounds like you put a lot of heart and soul into it.

Yeah — I feel like I’ve been swimming against the tide a little bit. When I took the leap of faith to go, “All right, I’m going to do something on my own,” it took me a second to work out exactly what that was going to be. A lot of people, when they’re first starting out, they develop in the background, trying different things. But obviously, I had to do that a little bit more publicly. That’s been definitely been challenging at times. So I’m relieved to have an album that I’m really proud of.

People expected you to bang out something fast for a hit. Why did you want to take your time?

I definitely could have made a quick record, a more trendy record. But I think it’s a big thing for me as a writer that it’s got to be believable coming out of my mouth. So lyrics are really important to me.

You wrote so many classic tunes with One Direction, going back to “No Control” and “Midnight Memories.” But as a solo artist, did you feel like you needed to do something different?

When I first started my solo career, I did an electronic track with Steve Aoki. He’s a fucking legend. And I did a track with Bebe Rexha — she’s cool as hell. But when I look back at those songs, I don’t think they really represent me. So it took me a second to work out that I just wanted to follow my heart. Because I have the luxury of having been in a band like One Direction. And luckily, I saw a lot of success with the band. But instead of focusing so much on numbers and chart position and radio, I thought, “I’m just going to follow my heart.” And, hopefully, it’ll be a more authentic record that way.

You made that big public statement last year, where you said you needed to stop trying for Top 40 hits and rethink “what success means to me.” Where did that come from?

My only experience is being in a band the size of One Direction. So naturally, as much as you try and stay humble and realistic, that’s your experience. And that experience is based on something that isn’t real life, really. So it took me a second to be at peace with that.

You really changed gears last year, with “Two of Us.” It’s such a bold song emotionally.

For obvious reasons, that is definitely one of my proudest moments to date. As a songwriter, I’ve never written a song that had as much weight and importance, from my own perspective. But then when I was chatting to friends, people would pull me aside and they’d say what that song means to them. Maybe they had lost someone recently and they’d share their story with me. And I’ve never really had that with music before, where it goes deeper than just being a love song. That carries a different kind of weight. That’s one of my proudest moments.

It was funny because around that time, for obvious reasons, I felt really redundant creatively. I was really struggling. When I look back in hindsight, it’s because I needed to get that song off my chest. Other concepts lacked significance, until I’d fit in that song.

These days, people aren’t necessarily used to hearing male songwriters open their hearts like that.

My mum had a massive influence on my life, so there’s more of a female perspective there. And I do find it easy to speak about my emotions. I realized in my writing process, that was my ace to play — to lean on emotion and honesty. And talk about things that sometimes you’re not able to talk about.

How did you go from a song like that to a rocker like “Kill My Mind,” just a few months later?

That was written deliberately as a statement of intent, really. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, so I didn’t want to keep writing emotional, heavy stuff. So I thought it was a great opportunity to just completely switch it all, and really go in on my inspirations.

It has the pop-punk vibe of “No Control.” I loved something you said on Twitter a couple of years ago: “Remember if it’s by One Direction and it’s a banger I probably wrote on it.”

Do you know what? It’s not often I blow my own trumpet, but I thought, “Fuck it! I’m having it. Because it’s true.” So yeah, I did enjoy that.

How’s it different doing it in your late twenties, as opposed to your early twenties?

I feel like every song I write, I get better. But I tell you what, man, I am fucking conscious of my age. I’ve just turned 28 — I’m like, “Fuck me now. I’ve been doing this for 10 years.” If I do it all over again, I’ll be fucking 38, mate!

It’s an old cliche that when you go solo, you’re supposed to complain about your band and renounce them. But you haven’t done that.

Well, two things. First, I absolutely fucking love the band. I’m super proud about where I’ve come from. At the end of the day, I’m from Doncaster, and the band gave me such a nice opportunity. But also, there’s a big history of that, people coming out of bands and chatting shit. I just think they just look so obvious. It’s such a desperate attempt to try and get cool points. So I don’t think it’s authentic. I fucking love the boys, and I love everything we’ve done together. And I still miss my time with them. I think any of the boys would be lying if they said otherwise. It was a special time in our lives, definitely.

In the music you’re making separately, you’ve each got your own voice.

I think that’s a testament to this strength of us as a band, really, and what we all brought individually. And we do all have a different range of inspiration — that’s what made it interesting, both on a personality level and on a music level. I think we’re all making really fucking good music as well. So, yeah, it’s nice for me to turn up the radio and hear the boys with another banger.

What’s in store for your solo tour?

Listen, I’m so excited — I’ve definitely had my eye on the tour. Because it’s one thing being in the studio, or a rehearsal space or TV studio or whatever. But it’s another thing literally going to see the fans, being able to look into their eyes and see what certain lyrics mean to them. And just feel the energy of the room. There’s nothing like that.

With One Direction, you always made that direct connection with the live audience.

I think, to a certain degree, we were lucky in the time that we were living in. You look back to some of those Nineties boy bands, and they had to be a certain way. But we were always able to be ourselves, and I think that makes it easier for fans to connect to us. And you always want to make people feel as included as possible — everyone.

Do you have any heroes you dream about collaborating with?

Obviously, I fucking love Liam Gallagher. He’s such a incredible lyricist. Most of the time when I’m playing music in the car, honestly, I’m not that diverse. I’ve just got Oasis on most of the time.

Any other music you’ve been enjoying lately?

I really love fucking Catfish and the Bottlemen, which is ironic, because they chatted some shit about One Direction. Basically, I listened to the first album, and I’m like, “This is fucking amazing.” So I tweeted, saying, “I love this album.” And they tweeted back, trying to do the typical indie boy thing of trashing the fucking pop boys. I got a bit sour because they were chatting shit, trying to be clever, so I just boycotted them. But enough time has gone by, so I can listen to Catfish again. They do make fucking good music.

[louistomlinsoncouk]

When One Direction went on hiatus in late 2015, everybody figured Louis Tomlinson was poised for instant pop success as a solo star. After all, he co-wrote so many of the group’s most beloved tunes. But he’s just finding his voice now. His hotly anticipated solo debut, the excellent Walls (due out Friday), is worth the wait. “It took me a second to get here,” Louis says with a laugh. “So it’s a bit of a relief. Because there was a lot of treading water.”

With 1D, Tomlinson was always famed for his cocky wit and his combative “Sassy Louis” bravado. But in recent years, he’s had to face intense heartbreak. In 2016, his mother died of cancer. Last year he released his poignant tribute “Two of Us” — but just two weeks later, his family was hit by tragedy again when his teenage sister suddenly passed away. Walls is full of personal reckoning, but it’s also the sound of a pop artist hitting a new creative breakthrough, as in the Oasis-style Britpop guitar blast “Kill My Mind.” Gearing up for his first solo tour, Louis took a break to discuss life after One Direction, dealing with grief, feuding with indie boys, turning 28, starting over in public, and how it feels to hear his ex-bandmates’ songs on the radio.

Congratulations on the new album. It sounds like you put a lot of heart and soul into it. Yeah — I feel like I’ve been swimming against the tide a little bit. When I took the leap of faith to go, “All right, I’m going to do something on my own,” it took me a second to work out exactly what that was going to be. A lot of people, when they’re first starting out, they develop in the background, trying different things. But obviously, I had to do that a little bit more publicly. That’s been definitely been challenging at times. So I’m relieved to have an album that I’m really proud of.

People expected you to bang out something fast for a hit. Why did you want to take your time? I definitely could have made a quick record, a more trendy record. But I think it’s a big thing for me as a writer that it’s got to be believable coming out of my mouth. So lyrics are really important to me.

You wrote so many classic tunes with One Direction, going back to “No Control” and “Midnight Memories.” But as a solo artist, did you feel like you needed to do something different? When I first started my solo career, I did an electronic track with Steve Aoki. He’s a fucking legend. And I did a track with Bebe Rexha — she’s cool as hell. But when I look back at those songs, I don’t think they really represent me. So it took me a second to work out that I just wanted to follow my heart. Because I have the luxury of having been in a band like One Direction. And luckily, I saw a lot of success with the band. But instead of focusing so much on numbers and chart position and radio, I thought, “I’m just going to follow my heart.” And, hopefully, it’ll be a more authentic record that way.

You made that big public statement last year, where you said you needed to stop trying for Top 40 hits and rethink “what success means to me.” Where did that come from? My only experience is being in a band the size of One Direction. So naturally, as much as you try and stay humble and realistic, that’s your experience. And that experience is based on something that isn’t real life, really. So it took me a second to be at peace with that.

You really changed gears last year, with “Two of Us.” It’s such a bold song emotionally. For obvious reasons, that is definitely one of my proudest moments to date. As a songwriter, I’ve never written a song that had as much weight and importance, from my own perspective. But then when I was chatting to friends, people would pull me aside and they’d say what that song means to them. Maybe they had lost someone recently and they’d share their story with me. And I’ve never really had that with music before, where it goes deeper than just being a love song. That carries a different kind of weight. That’s one of my proudest moments.

It was funny because around that time, for obvious reasons, I felt really redundant creatively. I was really struggling. When I look back in hindsight, it’s because I needed to get that song off my chest. Other concepts lacked significance, until I’d fit in that song.

These days, people aren’t necessarily used to hearing male songwriters open their hearts like that. My mum had a massive influence on my life, so there’s more of a female perspective there. And I do find it easy to speak about my emotions. I realized in my writing process, that was my ace to play — to lean on emotion and honesty. And talk about things that sometimes you’re not able to talk about.

How did you go from a song like that to a rocker like “Kill My Mind,” just a few months later? That was written deliberately as a statement of intent, really. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me, so I didn’t want to keep writing emotional, heavy stuff. So I thought it was a great opportunity to just completely switch it all, and really go in on my inspirations.

It has the pop-punk vibe of “No Control.” I loved something you said on Twitter a couple of years ago: “Remember if it’s by One Direction and it’s a banger I probably wrote on it.” Do you know what? It’s not often I blow my own trumpet, but I thought, “Fuck it! I’m having it. Because it’s true.” So yeah, I did enjoy that.

How’s it different doing it in your late twenties, as opposed to your early twenties? I feel like every song I write, I get better. But I tell you what, man, I am fucking conscious of my age. I’ve just turned 28 — I’m like, “Fuck me now. I’ve been doing this for 10 years.” If I do it all over again, I’ll be fucking 38, mate!

It’s an old cliche that when you go solo, you’re supposed to complain about your band and renounce them. But you haven’t done that. Well, two things. First, I absolutely fucking love the band. I’m super proud about where I’ve come from. At the end of the day, I’m from Doncaster, and the band gave me such a nice opportunity. But also, there’s a big history of that, people coming out of bands and chatting shit. I just think they just look so obvious. It’s such a desperate attempt to try and get cool points. So I don’t think it’s authentic. I fucking love the boys, and I love everything we’ve done together. And I still miss my time with them. I think any of the boys would be lying if they said otherwise. It was a special time in our lives, definitely.

In the music you’re making separately, you’ve each got your own voice. I think that’s a testament to this strength of us as a band, really, and what we all brought individually. And we do all have a different range of inspiration — that’s what made it interesting, both on a personality level and on a music level. I think we’re all making really fucking good music as well. So, yeah, it’s nice for me to turn up the radio and hear the boys with another banger.

What’s in store for your solo tour? Listen, I’m so excited — I’ve definitely had my eye on the tour. Because it’s one thing being in the studio, or a rehearsal space or TV studio or whatever. But it’s another thing literally going to see the fans, being able to look into their eyes and see what certain lyrics mean to them. And just feel the energy of the room. There’s nothing like that.

With One Direction, you always made that direct connection with the live audience. I think, to a certain degree, we were lucky in the time that we were living in. You look back to some of those Nineties boy bands, and they had to be a certain way. But we were always able to be ourselves, and I think that makes it easier for fans to connect to us. And you always want to make people feel as included as possible — everyone.

Do you have any heroes you dream about collaborating with? Obviously, I fucking love Liam Gallagher. He’s such a incredible lyricist. Most of the time when I’m playing music in the car, honestly, I’m not that diverse. I’ve just got Oasis on most of the time.

Any other music you’ve been enjoying lately? I really love fucking Catfish and the Bottlemen, which is ironic, because they chatted some shit about One Direction. Basically, I listened to the first album, and I’m like, “This is fucking amazing.” So I tweeted, saying, “I love this album.” And they tweeted back, trying to do the typical indie boy thing of trashing the fucking pop boys. I got a bit sour because they were chatting shit, trying to be clever, so I just boycotted them. But enough time has gone by, so I can listen to Catfish again. They do make fucking good music.

[shavenstudios]

BRAND NEW TELEVISION PROJECT OPEN FOR AUDITIONS!

TITLE: At Any Cost TYPE: TV Series GENRE: Drama

RELEASE: November 2019 FILMING: August 21st - October 29th DIRECTOR: Chloe Bennet PRODUCER: Lili Reinhart

Plot Line:

What would you do if you had no money? What if someone came to you offering a silver platter of all the money you needed in the world, with nothing but one request to ruin your reputation? Would you take it? Would you ruin everything just for that juicy pieces of paper with money on it?

Lena Daniels is a wealthy woman of scandals, a popular Headquarters for her clients to get into mischief. With all the money she has and all the money to give she has seeked out 6 members in particular. Social Media influences, well known people and are there to tear their life apart. Get them into trouble, get them together for hookups and sex tapes… Get them into violent fights. At what cost? At any? And what if there was more behind it than just the money? Find out in At Any Cost.

CAST

Lena Daniels - a snobby, uptight yet very powerful woman who controls HQs, wanting people to suffer for their actions. She is very secretive and chooses to use people’s words against them, and for what? Because she has a dark past about herself which has caused her to ruin and destroy people’s lives. But unfortunately can never be stopped, but seduced and sucked into her nasty was at Scandals HQs - CHLOE BENNET.

Maya Santiago - Maya was one out of 3 siblings with a younger brother and sister, she was brought into a beautiful family until her mother died and her whole persona changed…At the age of 17 Maya grew into someone who she used to make fun of, a cold hearted woman who didn’t care about anything, not even her body…At the age of 20 Maya decided to use drugs to help her get through, to provide for her family she decided to sell her body to anyone who would pay for it. When she discovered the show her first instinct was to ditch the stripper/sugar baby ways and earn money of the show. Her family still doesn’t know about what she did to provide money for them… In fact no one really knows about her stripper days.Changing her ways before the show, she turned to social media and it turns out because of her looks and personality it has been sky rocketing since. Maia knows how to stand up for herself, but she also knows how to keep her mouth shut when needed. She is demisexual and very delicate, however she is always open to a hookup especially if she’s getting paid for it.   - MAIA MITCHELL.

River Kane - River wasn’t always who she seems to be now… An out and proud lesbian and a lovely lady all around. She lived with her mother for her whole life from about age 4 to 19, while her twin brother lived with their dad and stepmom she got along well and people always saw her smiling… up until her brother died in an airplane accident when they were 17, the two were super close even though their parents were separated, so after the accident, River fell into a deep depression so at that point, she started getting extremely violent as an emotional outlet, got involved with the wrong crowd, started heavily using drugs, and she’s been arrested four times but has continually gotten out thanks to her money. - ZENDAYA COLEMAN.

Hendrix ‘Wolf’ Henderson - Though his teammates & fans refer to him as ‘ wolf. ’ He’s a 21 year old professional hockey player and has been playing since he was a toddler in new jersey. But Hendrix is very different in and out the rink, during the games he feels as if it’s somewhat of a way to release the pent up anger so he 100% rages in there. But hockey Hendrix is also cocky and egotistical with his smirking, trash talking and smirks. When drinking he will turn into a very frat boy type, through partying but is truly a gentleman. Hendrix has taken quite a liking to Maya Santiago, but can’t seem to push his cockiness aside… - LOUIS TOMLINSON

Saint Matthews - Saint was born in Oakland, California to a 16-year-old mother and father duo that couldn’t possibly keep him. The paperwork to put him up for adoption was already filled out and signed before he first opened his eyes. he doesn’t remember his mother’s tearful goodbye at all. Because of this constant movement, he never really had much stability in his life. he had a hard time making friends because he figured he’d just end up losing touch with them anyways, and he didn’t see it as worth the trouble that would plague him when he’d have to move away again. One thing that he could always count on to escape was basketball. one of his foster parents had gifted him a basketball while he was in elementary school, and it’s pretty much his prized possession. He is generally a kind-hearted person. he knows what it’s like to come from a sort-of messy background, so he’s very optimistic and trusting in people. he believes everyone deserves second chances even when that’s not necessarily true. he just tries very hard to see the good side of every situation and the good parts of every person he comes across. - BEN HARDY

Cassidy Blake - Cassidy was born in OC, California but moved to Paris, France at the age of three and basically grew up there with her mother. She started modeling at the young age of 5, but also wanted to pursue a singing career when she posted a youtube cover at the age of 16. With the help of social media & a few family connections, she now has a chart topping album & has appeared in numerous magazine covers. She secretly just wants everyone‘s approval & friendship… A true people pleaser. So now that she’s broke she is not happy about it. Especially since she’s in love with her sports cars and has taken quite a liking to Wolf and Saint. But she knows how to play people, and she will do ANYTHING for money… Even if that means breaking a couple of hearts here and there. - CAITY LOTZ

Preston Brookes - Preston, an out and proud Pansexual has been living in New York for five years now and considers it home. He lives in a lavish apartment just around the corner from times square. In a very short period of time he has become a highly sought after photographer. He specializes in fashion photography and is known for being the best at taking a creative director’s muse and bringing it to life. in his spare time he loves shooting black and white photography. He has really fallen into the new york lifestyle, working hard and playing harder. he’s the typical small town boy who moved to the big city, wanting to take in everything all at once. he’s become a bit of a player, completely pushing away the traditional lifestyle he was raised around. he’s begun to dabble with drugs and alcohol, marijuana and amphetamines (adderall, coke, etc.) being his favorites. On the inside, Preston is pure fluff. he doesn’t love many, but the few that he does, he loves completely and unconditionally. Because of this he has taken a big liking to both Wolf and Cassidy despite knowing their player-ish ways - HARRY STYLES.

CONTACT VAL IF INTERESTED

[snowgray]

Some Trash

A trashy tale: My silly Sims 4 legacy so far.

I started off with an adorable romantic lady named Hope. She had curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes, and her default outfit was a white crop top and black scalloped shorts. She also wore big heart earrings to let all the menfolk know she wants love. Her aspiration to start with was the good parent aspiration. It happened to be Winterfest just as the game was starting, and I’d read that Father Winter’s children got a buff, so Hope put her moves on Father Winter and got knocked up. She also met a hunky jogger, Kane, and he seemed like a much better long-term prospect than Santa. Kane was built like a brick house, with curly black hair, dark skin and dark brown eyes. Hope got his attention and he was super into her, so despite the complicating pregnancy, Kane accepted Hope’s proposal and moved right in. Hope had her first baby, Chloe, who took after Father Winter in appearance. Kane was a doting step-father when he wasn’t at his job with the SportsTeam. Hope took up gardening. Kane couldn’t keep his hands off of her, so she was quickly pregnant again. Their first child together was a daughter, Nadia. While Chloe was a creative kid, Nadia just wanted to run and play. She and her father got along well. Hope had her heart set on one more kid, and she and Kane had another daughter, Tatianna. Tati always wanted to be like her big sisters, and joined the Llama Scouts just like they’d done. Most baby siblings are a bit wild, but Tatianna was a perfect student and a great scholar. Her parents had become expert parents, and Tati benefited from their wisdom. Feeling that her family was full (and because I have WhickedWhims), Hope began taking birth control pills. For Chloe’s first day of high school, her loving stepfather bought her a bottle of Insta-Lean. Chloe had inherited her biological father’s jowly cheeks, though her outgoing personality meant she was popular with the boys, as did her frequent trips “out” to meet her biological father, who generally wandered off to flirt as soon as he’d waved hello to his child. Chloe’s funny face, unfortunately, made her an unwise choice to inherit the throne. Nadia was a beautiful teenager, with her mother’s blond hair, ruddy bronze skin, and features as angular as a supermodel. But she was a listless child, and rarely accomplished what she wanted to do. She lacked the skills to inherit the throne. Tatianna was sad to be left behind in elementary school. Despite his busy career as a professional athlete, Kane made time to play with her. Together, they built a scarecrow, and Tatianna talked to him nearly as often as her mother did. He almost seemed like a real person, and Hope’s garden flourished as if twenty hands were tending it. Fate cannot look at a happy family and feel happy himself, but he was kind and gentle to Hope. Just when she thought that her children were nearly able to care for themselves, she found herself pregnant again! Arianna was born with rich brown hair and sun kissed skin, and everyone was charmed by her. But her parents’ careers and a full house meant that she never quite got as much attention as her older sisters had. She’d eventually look for that attention in all the wrong places... As soon as Tatianna entered high school, she started turning heads. She was as fit as her father, and nearly a perfect clone of him, save for her sparkling blue eyes. She’d studied hard in elementary school, but the memory of her humble beginnings made her eager to earn money. Perhaps too eager... Chloe wanted a family as big as her mother’s, and the day she graduated from college, she eloped with her high school sweetheart, Bennet. They settled in to a small home across town, and they graced Hope with two granddaughters in quick succession. Nadia took a while to decide on a boyfriend, but goofy looking Louis made her laugh, and she finally consented to marry him after she got pregnant. Together, they had two sons and a daughter. They lived just around the corner, with Louis’ brother. Tatianna worked hard throughout high school. She studied too hard to find time for dating. She achieved her dream of becoming a top level Llama Scout, and scored straight As. Often, her scarecrow friend Patchy helped her with her chores and homework. She spent hours discussing her dreams with him, and one afternoon, she confessed her love. Patchy whispered that he loved her back, and they embraced. But their love could never continue the family line, though they certainly tried. Each afternoon, he sighed a soft farewell and headed back to his tree. Kane retired from his job as a professional athlete, having achieved his lifelong dream. He began to take an interest in repair and rocketry, and soon the house was full of unbreakable appliances. Hope’s gardening research led her to discover a tree with fruit worth its weight in gold. She began to work from home more often, writing scientific papers and bonding with her beehives. Arianna never took much of an interest in gardening, but Tati learned everything she could from her mother. Unable to be with her lifelong love, Tatianna gave in to a classmate who’d fallen for her. Cedric called her every day, and she finally went on a date with him. He looked like her father, and even had the same haircut, though his chipmunk cheeks reminded Tati of her half-sister's wretched biological father. Cedric wore her down, and, eager to move on with her responsibilities as heir, Tatianna married him.

Cedric was not an ideal spouse. He dreamed of being a writer, but, no matter how hard he worked at it, his books were always awful. He took a job as a writer during the day, and Tatianna decided to find a nighttime job so that one of them would be home for the children. The allure of the criminal world called to her, because she wanted to become truly wealthy. When Tatianna's first child arrived, though, her husband was at work. It was Patchy who panicked in fear for her labor, and who cooed at the baby whenever he had the chance. Tatianna's first child was a girl, Jeannie. With rich dark skin and adorable braided pigtails, she was a winning child. Kane and Hope taught her as much as Tati and Cedric did, and they were thrilled to have another little one in the house.

Winterfest rolled around, and Arianna started high school. Though she'd studied hard in elementary school, when she became a teenager, the hormones kicked in. Romance was all Arianna could think about! She greeted Father Winter (not her half-sister's father) with a friendly face at the fireplace. But when she bumped into him again out in the neighborhood, she turned on the charm. Whether it was her hormones or his lechery (or the autonomous behavior that I had turned on), who can say for sure. But Arianna became another teen pregnancy statistic when Father Winter knocked her up.

Kane and Hope were furious that their baby girl had become pregnant. Arianna tried to move in with her baby daddy, but though he called her often, his abode was nowhere to be found in any neighborhood. Ultimately, her kind sister Nadia took her in. Nadia had plenty of parenting experience, and her brother-in-law moved out to be with his new wife to make room for Arianna and her daughter. Chloe was having difficulties, too. She discovered that her once-loving husband had a woman on the side, and, more than that, he had a whole second family! She sent him packing, and found herself a single mother to two teenagers. Chole's behavior took a turn for the worse after her husband was gone. She could often be spotted out at clubs in the evening, and before long, she found herself about to become a mother again- without knowing quite who the father might be.

Despite her illegal occupation, Tatianna was a good mother. She wanted another child, and she and Cedric conceived a second time. Their charming baby boy, Phillip, was welcomed into a warm, loving home.

But all was not well. Kane's gray hair and stooped posture had long spoken of his advanced age. His bride, though younger than he was by a great deal, finally became elderly herself. Only a day after her seventh grandchild was born, the Grim Reaper came to visit Hope. Hope's husband and progeny panicked! Cedric, usually so useless and doofy, finally came to the rescue. He pleaded with the Grim Reaper, and Hope was spared. Her husband, relieved and thankful, fed her a concoction of his own devising that would help her remain alive. Hope also researched further into the plant world, and discovered a flower that, some whispered, could save a loved one from death. She gave the stinky blossoms to her daughter and grandchildren, just in case.

Phillip grew into a popular and gregarious child. Due to a hole in the space-time continuum (or a mod conflict), his sister Jeannie had a long and fruitful childhood. She was extraordinarily accomplished, and became unusually gifted in the creative arts as well as the mental ones. Phillip himself longed only for popularity. He befriended a classmate at school who was somehow, inexplicably (or because I just got the expansion) famous. Phillip loved the strangers who would appear out of nowhere to greet his friend. He dreamed of knowing as many people as his young buddy.

The pressure of Jeannie's young accomplishments began to weigh on her. When she started high school, she vowed that her life would change. Gone would be the days of slaving over homework and science fair projects! Instead, Jeannie had one goal: banging. She wanted to go on as many dates as she could fit in a day, and found herself tagging along with her brother and his famous buddy to look for "fans" to hit on. She dug through her grandmother's jewelry box, and, spotting a pair of huge heart-shaped hoops, decked herself out.

Tatianna continued to pursue a career in crime. Though she had no love for mischief, she found that computer programming was easy for her, and she could steal money from faceless corporations without compunction. But, in the end, it was her mother's efforts that paved the way for her to achieve her dream of wealth. Tatianna looked at the tree that bore golden fruit, and a golden idea was born. She propagated that tree until the front yard was an orchard of cash. Tatianna was rich beyond her wildest dreams, and the excuse of "gardening" gave her a reason to spend time with her true love, Patchy.

It was Jeannie's fourteenth birthday that truly set Tatianna off. When she looked at her daughter, the pouchy cheeks of her husband stood out as such a strong reminder that tears leapt to her eyes. This girl, once so full of promise, could not inherit the throne. Something must be done.

Tatianna attended her sister Chloe's birthday party out of familial obligation, but a handsome stranger caught her eye. He introduced himself as Wyatt. His build was just like her father's, though he was pale, with green eyes and dusty brown hair. Tatianna looked at her sister, whose once-happy marriage had crumbled, and whose jowls had only grown more prominent with age. Wyatt asked if she was single, and, slipping the ring off of her finger, she said, "It's complicated." A few drinks later, she found herself bent over in the bathroom, Wyatt pounding away as she imagined that he was a much, much skinnier man...

Tatianna didn't exactly expect to have a third child, but the morning sickness wasn't quite a surprise, either. She waited until Cedric went to work to invite Wyatt over to visit and to tell him the good news. Did she let him linger on purpose, to make her final decision easier? She couldn't quite say for sure. But Cedric came home to find Wyatt embracing Tati, and he was outraged. It took Tati a moment to find the words (or the option in the interactions wheel), but she asked Cedric for a divorce, and he agreed. He wanted to keep living with his children, but Tatianna didn't think that was a good option. Cedric left, but he stayed in the family. Ages ago, in high school, he'd made a pass at Chloe before he'd settled on Tatianna. When she mentioned that her home had more bedrooms than people, he took her up on the offer. He'd have started working on a revenge romance if Chloe weren't already pregnant.

Wyatt's life wasn't free of complications, either. As a very young man, he'd married an older woman, and she was now gray-haired and weak. His son was almost seventeen. He couldn't look at his wife and feel love anymore, but he felt wretched betraying his son. And yet, there was no room in his new life for this old family. Tatianna's rounded belly convinced him. He divorced his wife, and moved in with Tatianna. Wyatt's love of athletics made him an instant hit with Kane. They spent hours in the basement gym, Kane mentoring his future son-in-law in all the glories of athleticism that he could no longer enjoy himself, due to old age. Tatianna promised Wyatt that they'd marry, though she couldn't quite decide when (and the game is convinced that he's in her employ and therefore can't marry her, so idk). History repeated itself when Tatianna went into labor, and her baby's father was nowhere to be found. Instead, Patchy ran to her side, fretting over her safety as she delivered her third child. In honor of another impending Winterfest, she named her daughter Noelle. The infant looked like any other, though she'd inherited her mother's rich skintone, rather than her father's pale one.

Phillip was unhappy about his new little sister, and he missed his father. Jeannie had hardly a thought to spare for her new stepfather, beyond the fact that he was incredibly hot. Tatianna was torn. Her youngest child was a chance to pass the throne to a worthy heir, and to forget the error of her first marriage. But the baby didn't belong to her true love, and no baby ever would. Could she learn to love this child... or any child? She vowed to be a better parent to Noelle than she'd been to Jeannie. In fact, she swore to be the best parent ever, just as her mother was. Hope picked up Noelle, her eighth (or probably ninth but I didn't check to see if Chloe had her baby yet) grandchild. Was this newborn to be the queen that her mother and grandmother were before her?

[ozarkianhillcrofters-blog]

Mark Kumming, Collector of Ozarkiana

By Curtis Copeland, The Society of Ozarkian Hillcrofters 

 In the world of the Internet and social media, Mark Kumming is becoming well known for his knowledge of Ozarks history, memorabilia, and almost all things Ozarkiana.  From posting photos of his personal Ozarks book collection, to images of Silver Dollar City and Branson area tourism memorabilia, to answering questions from followers about people and places of the Ozarks, Mark is actively becoming a guru of Ozarks regional culture.  

  A follower and fan of Mark myself, I felt fortunate to interview him and ask several questions, for his collection and knowledge is fascinating to me as well.  Although Mark spent his earliest years in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, he eventually moved to Branson in his early teens.  Like many people, Mark Kumming’s interest in regional and local history was influenced at an early age by his parents.  “My dad would carry my brother and I, later our sister, all around St. Louis in the family van in the late 1960s and early 1970s. He took us to all kinds of museums and historic sites, primarily to keep us occupied on a day off from school or during summer vacation from school,” Mark said, when asked about how he became interested in history.

  His father had some interesting occupations.  These occupations, along with his father’s devoted interest in spending time with his children, led to some interesting experiences for Mark. “Dad was a licensed embalmer and funeral home director when I was very small, and so he had an interest in old cemeteries, too. I have been to all kinds of odd, strange, and unusual places around St. Louis that few life time residents even knew about. I thought it was fascinating to go to the Old Courthouse and stand in the room where the Dred Scott Decision was made or see all the stuff in the St. Louis Art Museum, the McDonnell Planetarium, and other such places.”

  Mark’s father later went to work for McDonnell-Douglas, an aerospace firm in St. Louis that had a US Government contract during the Apollo and Skylab Eras with NASA. He met many of the astronauts when they came to St. Louis for training prior to their space flights. He personally knew Gus Grissom and Neal Armstrong. Mark recalled one special experience, “Once, on a day off from school, my dad took me in the family car to a warehouse in the St. Louis area, so he could pick up some parts for Skylab and take them to another location to deliver them. When he came out a few minutes later he had a little Ziploc bag with some electronic circuits in it...part of Skylab! I got to hold that bag in my hands and take a good look at it...something that soon would go up into space! That was a big deal for a little kid, and I remember it well.”

   In 1973, Mark’s father felt that after spending time in the suburban areas of St. Louis, that he wanted his children to experience life in the country. The family moved to Perryville, MO, to a small farm on an Ozarks ridge just above the Mississippi River bottom lands.  Relocating to this region of the Southeast Missouri Ozarks reinforced his interest in the Ozarks, it’s culture and history. “I was about 11 years old. That summer, a local publisher printed THE PERRYVILLE ADVERTISTER, a little magazine with a bunch of ads in it. The publication featured several articles about local history and folklore, lost treasure legends, historic spots, church history, settlement history, and so on. It was something I ate up! I loved the legends and local history stories. It was the first piece of regional material that I kept. I still have it today.”   But it was not only the history of the local museums and history sites of the area that influenced Mark.  He began to have an appreciation for the natural features that make the Ozarks region so special. “My brother and I explored the Ozarks woods around our farm. We had a natural spring that bubbled up in our pasture, and we followed it through the woods down to a much larger creek that eventually dumped into the Mississippi. Along that stream there were caves, limestone water falls, and all sorts of cool things for little early teenaged boys to explore. That left a big impression on me, too.”

 During this time of the mid 1970’s Marks parents divorced. Although this was an unfortunate event, the silver lining was that his mother and stepfather worked for a large healthcare company, which had transferred them to Branson, Missouri. His family back in 1968 or 1969, had visited Branson for the first time on vacation right after the Beverly Hillbillies episodes aired on TV. They spent several days in Branson then, doing Silver Dollar City, Baldknobbers Jamboree, and other sights, which had made a great impression on young Mark.  In 1978, after his mother and stepfather had been transferred, Mark found himself in Branson once again, but as a resident, and thrilled to be living in the town that brought him so much joy as a young boy. “We lived for the first two weeks in the Branson Inn, while mom and stepdad looked for a house. Then, I got a job at the age of 15 at SDC in the Foods Department, working at the Vineyard (now the Wagon Works Restaurant.) We were enrolled in Branson schools in the fall. Life was good! Of course, now with the SDC "pass exchange program" a benefit which let employees of the park into Branson attractions at no charge, I had the ability to go to all the music shows, attractions, just about everywhere in town for free! It was fantastic!”, said Mark of his moving to Branson.

  This is the time when Mark began his collection of Branson, Silver Dollar City, and Ozarks memorabilia.  Many people are now thankful that Mark saved every pamphlet, small trinket, and many things people of the late 1970’s and early 1980’s considered unimportant, or even trash. “I slowly accumulated Ozarks related material beginning in this period. I kept everything my employers gave me at SDC. ...I am proud of saving from the SDC dumpsters several small pieces salvaged from the float trip and diving bell attractions when they were torn out and updated with the American Plunge and the Lost River.”  These early Silver Dollar City and Branson places of employment during his high school years gave Mark the opportunity to be surrounded by and participate in the “Ozarks-themed” tourist industry which he loved.  He also made a lot of friends in this “golden age” of early Silver Dollar City and Shepherd of the Hills attractions, that would become well-known locally, and influential to the community even today.  “I got a job as the concessions manager at Hee Haw Theater in 1981, it was a showcase for the Hee Haw TV stars. I transferred to the Attractions Department at SDC in 1979, and worked at Jim Owens Float Trip Ride, Rube Dugan's Diving Bell, Flooded Mine, Fire in the Hole, Grandfather's Mansion, Tree Top House (Huck Finn's Hideaway) the One Mule Swing, and did ad-lib street entertainment and was involved in one of the street feud skits regularly in the 1980 season. In 1981 I was second lead man at the diving bell. During this period, I graduated from Branson High School in 1980 and attended College of the Ozarks.” Mark stated about his early employment.

  Mark’s experience and knowledge was not only increasing in the areas of Silver Dollar City and Branson tourism, but also the Ozarks region and its history and culture. “My collecting continued, primarily buying Ozarks books at the SDC book store. I worked with many people from the old days of Branson tourism at SDC, so I heard many old stories of what it was like in the area from decades past. Also, I went to high school with Jack Herschend's son, Bruce Herschend (who now runs Talking Rocks and Butterfly Palace) and Kelly Trimble, Mark Trimble's son, who had Shepherd of the Hills at the time. I went to high school and college with Jace Land, whose grandpa was Townsend Godsey, noted photo journalist of the Ozarks, and a contemporary and friend of Vance Randolph, Otto Ernest Rayburn, Harry Truman, and Thomas Hart Benton. Jace taught me some photography basics, too.”

  In 1984, Mark’s educational and career path took him away from his friends and favorite places of Branson.  He went to Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau to study mass communications and business. During this time at SEMO University he was classmate with a man that went on to a big career in TV and film, Cedric the Entertainer. They had mass communications classes together and were friends at the time.

 Later in 1984, Mark began a 20-year career as a radio broadcaster, working as a disc jockey, announcer, news reporter and news director at radio stations in Cape Girardeau, Dexter, and Kennett, MO. All these towns are in the bootheel area of Missouri. In 1990 Mark moved to Forrest City, AR to continue radio there, and met and married his wife, Janette. He became an instant husband and stepfather. In less than three years their oldest daughter had her first child, and he was a grandpa for the first time. Mark and his wife now have two daughters and ten grandkids.

  Mark had a very successful career during his twenty years in radio.  He received several awards and met many celebrities, politicians and influential people. He received the Distinguished Service Award from the Journalism Department at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock in 2000. He was a stringer for the ARKANSAS GAZETTE newspaper in Little Rock, and THE COMMERCIAL APPEAL newspaper in Memphis, TN.  Mark contributed news on a regular basis to the Arkansas Associated Press Broadcasters Association, the Arkansas Radio Network, the Brownfield Ag Network, and the Learfield Data News Service. As a news reporter he covered events attended by President Reagan, Vice President George Herbert Walker Bush, and met and interviewed such people as Barbara Bush, Bill Clinton, Academy Award winning actress Mary Steenburgen. Mark also went to press events featuring Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood. He interviewed Ricky Phelps of the Kentucky Headhunters. Mark also had the opportunity to interview Jesse Jackson, was part of a press pool that covered a press conference featuring author John Grisham, and met and interviewed three Missouri governors, and five Arkansas governors and was on a first name basis with Mike Huckabee when he was Arkansas governor.

  During that 20-year timespan of being in his radio career and raising a family, Mark’s collecting of Ozarkiana and memorabilia had come to a standstill.   They had vacationed in Branson a couple of times over the years, but that was about all. “I still was interested in local and regional history, and as a news reporter did many stories on local and regional history topics, festivals, and so on. All that stuff was Mississippi Delta Region material, not Ozarks material.”

  Then in 2003, Mark’s wife, Janette, had an opportunity to move to northwest Arkansas and double her salary. She had a great career working in medical offices doing billing, Medicare, Medicaid, insurance contracts, etc., so they moved to Rogers, Arkansas. Unfortunately, Mark’s radio career had ended, and he went into construction work for a while, then was a clerk in an emergency room at a hospital in Springdale, Arkansas for nine years. “My, how my eyes were opened! This was much different work than entertaining in Branson or being a radio broadcaster.”

   When that job ended, Mark became a clerk in a government contractors firm in Rogers for four years. When that job ended in 2017, he became a substitute teacher in the Pea Ridge School District. Mark and his Janette moved to Pea Ridge in 2007. In January of 2018, the Pea Ridge Community Library made Mark their children's storyteller.  He also has done freelance writing on Ozarks topics since 2010. “No money in it, but I have had about 150 articles published in regional magazines and newspapers. I am regular contributing writer for THE MISSOURI CHIGGER magazine published at Lowry City, MO.”

   After moving to Rogers, Mark was once again able to turn his sights towards his Ozarks collection. “I went at it full throttle when we moved to Rogers. My wife and I began going to yard sales, and I started picking up material like old out of print books on Ozarks topics. Then I discovered several fine used book stores and "friends of the library" type book stores, where material was sold cheap. I built a library of Ozarks material over the last 15 years. At times, I ran out of space, or found myself in an economic bind, and sold huge chunks of the library for cash at yard sales we held or traded material for better stuff with the secondhand book stores. I have two double book shelves full of Ozarks material. I have a closet packed full of other material I have found in flea markets and antique stores.”

  Mark’s collection began to make its online appearance in 2010, when he joined the www.sdcfans.com web site, a web page for the fans of Silver Dollar City.  “I posted over 2000 posts on that site [www.sdcfans.com] and began a Flickr account to post SDC and Hee Haw Theater photos. I found that all that stuff I had saved for over 30 years from my youth at SDC and Hee Haw was now interesting to someone other than myself! A younger generation who had only heard about this stuff was amazed when I started posting scans of my collection on line, and they marveled at the stories of old time Branson and SDC of the 1970s and early 1980s.”  In 2013, Janette bought him a computer tablet, and his son in law signed him up for a Facebook account. “Over time I discovered the Facebook group pages I now contribute to. Now I administer the Hee Haw Theater Facebook page in honor of the people who worked at the theater with me. SDCFans.com began a Facebook page, and the administrator asked me to be a co-administrator with him, so I do some work there. I am very pleased to be able to share my knowledge about Ozarks topics with folks on those group sites.” Mark also stated that he is pleased to be an active member of the Society of Ozarkian Hillcrofters and enjoys sharing his collection with that group as well.

  Mark’s sharing of his collection is not just in cyberspace. He was amazed when Josh Heston invited him to the State of the Ozarks Festival in 2017 at Hollister, where he had a booth with items from his collection. He felt honored to be a part of the festival and could visit with people directly about his collection of Ozarks memorabilia.

 I asked Mark some specifics about his collection. “Regarding the rarest piece I have, it is a copy of M.E. Oliver's "STRANGE SCENES IN THE OZARKS," a handmade book limited to a printing of 400 copies. I’m very pleased to have that. I have tons of brochures, postcards, and many other pieces of paper goods that promoted or told of aspects of Ozarks.”  Mark has some advice for those interested in being collectors themselves. “If I could give anyone a tip on what to collect I would say to seek out the many, many small cheaply made booklets that Ozarks natives made and peddled to tourists in the 1950s through the 1980s. These little books contain many gems of Ozarks history, little tidbits that the bigger books by the university presses don't discuss. Some of those books include one by Silver Dollar City's first Marshal, one by a miller at Sullivan's Mill at SDC. Also, books written by the eccentric "Coin" Harvey at Rogers, AR who founded the Monte Ne Resort in the 1920’s, and books by a Bentonville, AR man, J. Dickson Black, who did several books on northwest Arkansas history.”

   Mark met several interesting people, some of them old timers, along the way during his collecting. He had the opportunity to get acquainted with Walker Powell from Silver Dollar City, he met Ozarks author Phillip Steele a couple of times, during his time freelance writing.  Mark had encounters with Jack and Pete Herschend, and helped train Branson area entertainment legend, Terry Wayne Sanders at Silver Dollar City. “I was a coworker with many good, good people who worked at SDC, the Branson music shows, Shepherd of the Hills play...gosh, I worked or was friends with many good folks from Shepherd. There are many stories I could tell if time permitted.”

  Not only is Mark a collector, but he is also an accomplished author.  He has had some 150 freelance stories published in regional periodicals.  He also used the CreateSpace platform on the Internet to publish his first collection of poetry. It is a small chapbook of poetry and photos titled “REFLECTIONS ON THE BATTLE OF PEA RIDGE IN POETRY AND PHOTOGRAPHS”. It is currently available on amazon.com. “I have seen the printed proof of the little book, and I'm proud of it, although I do not expect a little book of Ozarks poetry to sell more than a handful of copies.” He stated with a chuckle.  

  Mark intends to continue his writing efforts. “I do have plans on publishing some of the Ozarks articles that have appeared in print in magazines and newspapers in the months and years ahead. There is a lot of material that I have in my filing cabinet. I do have plans on issuing a history and memoir of my diving bell days and my time at Hee Haw Theater when time permits.”

  Mark is also continuing his new career in education as well. Although he is currently substitute teaching in Pea Ridge Schools, he hopes to be able this summer to begin to study and obtain a teacher’s license, and teach full time in Pea Ridge Schools, hopefully beginning in fall. “It will be a long, hard process for me, but I hope at this time to accomplish this. It hopefully will be a career until I am eligible to retire at age 68.”

   Mark Kumming’s lifelong interest in the Ozarks, and his collection of Ozarks memorabilia has become something much more than the hobby of an individual.  It has become an important historic record of the region and a source of education for this and future generations.  The excitement that Mark has had for Ozarks history and culture, and his willingness to share the collection, has created an interest in the Ozarks that is essential for the preservation of the unique culture of the region.  □