#talking over and over again about the same people with the same issues just to end up with the conclusion that 'oh glad we aren't like that'

[thebreakfastgenie]

I don't think this binary does active harm, I think this binary is a way of describing a system (patriarchy) that does active harm. It's not a perfect way of describing it, but there isn't really a perfect way. That used to bother me a lot more but then I got grad school brained and learned that conceptual models are just that, models, so even good ones will be imperfect and that's not that big a deal as long as you acknowledge limitations of the model.

I know it's deeply unsatisfying but the answer literally is "it depends." Tumblr went really hard on "men do not experience sexism/misogyny" about ten years ago and I understand why, because MRAs constantly pop up to insist the world hates men. But the reality is more complicated, and we never really got past patriarchy 101 on tumblr. When you're talking about these dynamics, most of the time perception matters much more than real identity, because the issue is with how society treats you. Of course trans men who don't pass experience misogyny, and all trans men experience misogyny pre-transition. I think trans men are in a uniquely frustrating and hard to define place in patriarchy, but misaimed misogyny is not unprecedented. Gender non-conforming cis men can experience misogyny too, along with homophobia, whether they're actually gay or not. "Passing" exists in other contexts besides gender and the same dynamic plays out. Inclusion in any privileged class may be conditional and the definitions of any privileged class may change over time. The definition of "white" in an American context has changed several times in the history of the United States. A lot of Jewish people of European descent don't easily fit into a white/not white binary, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about race and the system of white supremacy in society.

Models like this are really for describing systems of power, which means they don't work nearly as well at the individual level. The point is not a flowchart to determine if you are a man or not and sort you into the correct category. There are situations where people will be sorted according to gender, of course, and those are necessary because of inequities created by patriarchy. I think the solution to that problem is just to be okay with exceptions. The human experience is too vast and beautiful to conform to any system. But we can say, okay, the purpose of this space is safety for people most impacted by systemic misogyny, and make decisions that way. Trans men may find their identity as men is more relevant in some contexts and their experiences with misogyny are more relevant in others. Again, the root of this problem is the patriarchy itself.

I'm curious about how this distinction could possibly be used to exclude people from the queer community. I'm not aware of any systemic denial that queer men exist, so being defined as a man or not should not affect a person's inclusion in the queer community.

There is no way of combatting patriarchy without defining the class of people it benefits. That class is men.

"you're either a man or a non-man" good lord you people just keep reinventing the binary over and over and over again, you are obsessed. let go already

[akindaflora]

How SKZ would react to you calling them your boyfriend on travels!

Full word count: 2,002

details: Basically I'm going on solo trip abroad for my birthday soon and as a safety precaution I've decided to use low key photos of SKZ members and telling weirdos that they're my boyfriend and I kept thinking about what if I accidentally ran into one of the boys not knowing its them and then to show a photo of themselves saying that they were my boyfriend. I doubt the boys would ever make someone uncomfortable intentionally but I'm extremely jumpy with strangers especially men haha so I could definitely see this happening! Anyway hope you enjoy:)

Warning: One curse word was said! Mentions of stalking and harassment but no actual harassment unless you count Lee Know being slightly mischievous. Also if you do workout please be sure to have a spotter when lifting heavy weights ^_−☆

Thanks again for the support on Lip Mask while that was the first story I posted. This scenario was in the works well way before Lip Mask was even written but due to the support of SKZ Tumblr community, I felt wayyy more confident and comfortable with sharing this idea with you all! Hope you enjoy ❤️

Hyung / Maknae / Masterlist

Bangchan (616 words)

It was the first day of your trip after a long flight and only arriving at 3 in the afternoon you realized your fight against jet lag might be stronger than you thought. The subtle feeling of sleep as you took a shower in the hotel not doing much aid. But with a few light slaps to your face you made your trek outdoors to explore the city hoping the walking and maybe some sugar would keep you up till nightfall. With that thought you grabbed your bag and threw on a scarf to keep the chill away.

So far after walking around for a bit, your shoulders started to tense. There were a lot of people and while crowded spaces aren't that scary there was the possibility that anything could happen. What if someone tried to steal your phone? You did your best to grip your phone in your pocket. What if someone tries to kidnap you? With that thought you began looking around your shoulder hoping to only feel at ease as the city rushed past you but instead, you could see a steady black-clothed figure hurriedly following you.

Panic began to strike. You knew in your research of the city that there had been some issues with men harassing women for dates going so far as to follow them for blocks on end. You knew you couldn't go back to the hotel not wanting the newfound stalker to stalk you even more and worse you didn't even know where you were, the buildings all looked the same.

Taking a deep breath you tried your best to high-tail it out of there only to feel your heart in your chest sink to your stomach when you realized the corner you turned on was mostly a quiet street nothing compared to the bustling city a few streets over.

With a deep breath, you pulled out your phone and swiped to the image of your bias Bang Chan hoping the stranger wasn't into K Pop and would accept the fact that you having a boyfriend was enough to back off.

"I have a boyfriend and this is him, I'm on my way to meeting him right now so can you stop following me," You said eyes slightly closed and phone outreach stopped the man at his pace. After a few moments of awkward silence, you began to talk, "Look he boxes for fun, I’d turn around if I were you," when you got no response but the quiet sounds of a chuckle you opened your eyes to see a very similar bright red scarf. So similar it even has your initials sewn in on the bottom just like the one you're wearing. Without thinking you reached for your scarf in your other hand.

Blood rushed to your cheeks as it began to click. This man wasn't stalking you but out of some weird concern trying to hand you your scarf back. You quickly looked up at the guy ready to apologize only to feel the blood on your face rise even more. God if you were to compare a cherry red tomato to your face it probably be hard to tell the difference at this moment.

"When I said I would protect you all this didn't really come to mind" He giggled a bit more. You slowly put your phone away wondering if by chance there was a pothole you could bury yourself in.

He moved to put the scarf around your neck, “Jagi you should really stay warm come on, you hungry? I wanna get to know my girlfriend a bit better yeah,” he said nodding his head in a direction up the street.

Lee Know (499 words)

Your stomach growled at you as you rounded the 10th corner of the day. None of the restaurants nearby were speaking to you. Deciding that you were far too hungry to look for a decent spot you wandered into the nearest convenience store.

Quickly deciding a particular appealing hot meal you wandered to the snack aisle, hoping to find a dessert that might even out your salty meal. After contemplating a few candy bars your stomach growled again. As hungry as you were you knew the dessert would either make or break your meal and luckily the store wasn't too filled so you knew checkout wouldn't take long nor finding a decent seat. Weighing your options you decided to go back to the cold section.

Not feeling ice cream as it was already extremely cold you didn't need your teeth shaking too, you decided to look over the choices of pudding. But as you looked you couldn’t decided between Carmel or the Coffee jelly. Both were appetizing but what would bring you the most joy?

In your thought of pondering you heard a deep sigh from your left. Not thinking much of it you decided to move over slightly in hopes whoever needed the pudding would still be able to grab whatever they wanted. But as you continued to decided the sigh moved to your right. So you moved to the right slightly at one point you and the heavy sigher moved left to right back and forth that it seemed to be a game this stranger was playing with you.

With your own heavy sigh you put the caramel pudding back deciding the sweet treat would taste bitter from this unnecessary transaction. Quickly holding your head high without looking at the stranger you moved to decide on a drink.

But before you could grab the tea of your choice the sigh came back. Quickly you threw the drink in your basket and then grabbed your phone. Hoping that the photo of Lee Know would cause the sigher to get lost.

“Look i don’t know what game your playing at but this is my boyfriend he’s just around the corner,” you warned showing the lockscreen in the stranger direction.

A loud laugh was pulled that peak your interest, he sounded familiar quickly looking up you nearly dropped the basket in your hands to which he grabbed to help support you.

“Oh but jagi I’m already here! You should be careful you could have broken the jelly” He began to chastise you still laughing with no concern. A quick heat of a blush went to your cheeks as you tried to process this all. Forgetting your hungry stomach as it decided now was the perfect time to growl. The blushing deepens with each giggle. He raised his brow with another quick laugh.

“Come on i’ll pay and then we can go on that date we supposedly planned,” he said motioning you to follow after taking your basket from your hand.

Changbin (374 words)

With the start of the New Year you had grown dedicated to going to the gym. Even going as far to go while on vacation. Ever since you began your workout journey you've had the displeasure of many unwelcome interactions from the male population. Going so far as having to use your bias Changbin as your lock screen. It had worked so far most giving up when they realized how built the man in the photo is and leaving you alone.

Normally you try the buddy system but this being a solo trip you had no one else but yourself and Changbin's photo to protect you. Deciding to start with the treadmill to warm up, you felt the familiar eyes of men as they watched you move. With steady breath, you turned up your music and focused on the TV in front of you.

After 30 minutes you decided to move to the bench press. Deciding that while you didn't have a spotter, it should be fine if you used extremely light weights. You noticed a peculiar muscular guy watching you intently.

You tried to shake his eyes off you got into position but before you could even start the same guy came running over lifting the weight off completely. Unable to hear him you turned your music down after he finished talking and only opened your phone to show him the picture of your saver.

"Look dude this is my boyfriend and he's almost here so I'd step back if I were you," You said not even looking at him reaching for your bottled water. Hearing a big huff of air leaving his lips you finally slowly turn to look ready to set a glare on him. Only to see a somewhat concerned Changbin looking at you as he smirked. A blush creeps up to your cheeks eyes going wide.

"Well seems like your boyfriend already here and wouldn't recommend you dead lifting without a spotter. Why don't you let me help Jagi" He said smoothly. You on the other hand clutching your heart at not only making a fool in front of your bias and the fact he called you jagi.

Definitely proud of yourself for keeping up this gym routine now.

Hyunjin (513 words)

Today had been a tad bit rough on your vacation. Your phone dying so you had no idea how to get back to your hotel that and your favorite shoes had a hole in them the only good thing being that you bought a new pair. And well that you did fine a decent book burning away in your bag asking you to read its text. Quickly trying to figure out your safe haven and hopefully an outlet.

With it being extremely late you stumble upon a bar filled with books and laughter as different types of people filled it. It was a book bar, one of the many to do things on your list, maybe your luck was changing. The bar wasn't too crowded but it definitely wasn't easy finding a spot next to an outlet. Tucked away in a corner you pull out your charger and the book in your bag sipping away on the bubbling beer.

After walking for hours and shivering in the cold the warm bar and the soft chitter chatter of others around you warmed you as the author's words pulled you in. The only problem is that the person next to you kept bumping into your left shoulder. You tried shaking them off which didn't work and after a glance at your still-dead phone, you sighed taking another sip. If only it were on you'd show the stranger your lock screen of your bias Hyunjin maybe his piercing eyes and oozing confidence would scare them away. With your luck, the guy left and you let out a breath you didn't realize you had been holding in, finally able to get back to your book.

But just as if the universe was testing your patience the same guy, you assumed, came back and began to softly poke you. Luckily as he did your phone turned on.

Without even looking you unplugged your phone showing the strange man your screen, "See this guy he's my boyfriend, and he's supposed to meet me here so if I were you I'd stop touching me, he can be the jealous type and you wouldn't like to see him that way," You said setting your phone down and turning the page of your book.

But the poker was relentless and poked you again with a little laugh. You quickly closed your book marking your finger in the pages as a steady glare brought you to the source of your annoyance.

Though everything went silent or rather your heart stopped as you realized it was the same man on your home screen that went out of his way to poke you. Fuck you thought.

"Well I was gonna ask if you let me plug my phone up too. Didn't know I came off as the jealous type," he said looking down as if lost in thought. Talk about strange luck.

“Hmmm Jagi put the book away seems we need to talk about the boundaries of our relationship,” he said plugging his phone into your charger. Yeah, maybe you should get lost more often.

After writing author notes: I wanted these to end on a goodish note and leave with the boys being somewhat interested but i hope i didn’t feed your delusions too much as this did with mine. Also sorry for the various word counts but some scenarios were easier to write more for than others but I enjoy all the boys equally so I didn't want to write more for the sake of more but just the context needed for each scene! Might be a bit till i can figure out the maknaes i really want the scenarios to be somewhat unrealistic but realistic to the boys interest and things they'd probably be doing on vacations days. If you want to speed up the process I'm open to ideas for the rest until then I believe some more fluff for the other boys are in the works.

Take care eat well and don't forget to touch grass every once and a while ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

[beneathsilverstars]

people are wondering about loop in the au where the party stops siffrin from using the dagger in dormont and the ensuing conversation breaks the loops so let's see...

Siffrin would still want to go see Loop first thing afterwards, but everyone else would be verrry worried about him going off alone. He tries to inconspicuously wander off but Isabeau is immediately like, "Heyy buddy where are you off to? Mind if I come with?" Siffrin feels guilty for selfishly making everyone feel obligated to not leave him alone, and getting them all worried about an issue that isn't even what it looked like. So he's kinda hoping they won't be so worried about him now that they've beat the king and decided to stay together... but he's also afraid that if they stop worrying, they'll decide, okay, no need to stay together after all.

But luckily Siffrin doesn't have to sort all of that out right now, because they know Loop has complicated feelings about the party and doesn't want to see them, so they know they have to go by themself if they want a chance of talking to them.

They try to play it casual, "I'm just going to the favor tree, you don't have to come with me." But two can play at surface-level manners so Isabeau says "I want to, though, it's no trouble!" Siffrin doesn't want to refuse him point-blank, but they really want to talk to Loop... so they go back and forth another time or two before Isabeau's like "Look. You understand why I'm worried about you suddenly going off for no apparent reason, right? On your own, when you've been glued to my side for the last half hour? I... I don't want to stop you,'' (Does that mean that he wouldn't? Or that he would, but he'd be sorry about it?) "but I would feel a lot better about it if you brought someone with you? Doesn't have to be me. Or at least explained why you're going...? Sorry, I know it must be so annoying to have to explain your every move, but... it's been less than a day, since. y'know. And I'd be... I just want you to stay safe."

And oh, Siffrin hates that he's made Isabeau so upset, that he messed up so bad yesterday and that he's making it worse right now, that he's made him so concerned over nothing. So he hesitantly, carefully explains, "There's someone I want to talk to. at the favor tree. I... talked to them there yesterday? And. they might be there again today, but. they definitely won't talk to me if any of you are with me." And, okay, it's reassuring that Siffrin has a reason, and it doesn't even seem he's lying, but. Isabeau can't help but be worried anyway. Especially because this is apparently someone Siffrin talked to at right about the same time that he started acting weird, yesterday? What if this person made Siffrin feel worse, what if they did something that pushed Siffrin over the edge??

But he knows that's edging past reasonable concern into paranoia, so he just asks, "Would it be alright if I walked you to the edge of town at least? Since you're still kinda woozy, and, that way I'll be in earshot if you need me...?" And Siffrin agrees, very relieved to have found a compromise and actually glad for the continued company. And it occurs to them that Isabeau might be less worried about them if they didn't have their dagger on them, and, the day has already been saved... So he gives Isabeau his dagger, along with a promise that he's not gonna do that, and Isabeau does seem happier!

So off they go through Dormont. Isabeau stops farther back on the path just a bit before the bend, where he won't be able to see Siffrin or overhear casual conversation, but could definitely hear a shout and coming running. And Siffrin goes to the tree, and sees the coin, and... twohats ensues! The dialogue is somewhat different, though, because they never did entirely figure it out in the end, did they? They had started learning about wish craft, but Loop hadn't quite connected it yet and of course Siffrin refused to look at their own wish. And then, what a dramatic final loop!

So. More along the lines of, "That was it? Really? You just had to kill yourself in front of them to get everything you ever wanted? To break the loops? To never be alone again? To guilt them into staying forever, because they think you're going to slit your own blinding throat if they let you out of their sight? Sure! Whatever it takes! Never let anyone tell you suicide threats don't work~" and "Do you know how many times I killed myself? How many more times I died?? Did I just not do it right? Wrong time, wrong place? Did I not suffer enough? Was I not selfish enough? What did I do wrong!! Why do you get to escape and not me! I deserve this happy ending, not you!! Why do you get to stay with them and not me!!!"

But, hm. Loop was kinda really raising their voice there at the end, weren't they?

Loop's voice still sounds a bit odd — part inhuman form, part new habit, part intense emotion — but, they're not putting active effort into keeping up the mask right now. Not when they're this upset. Not when Siffrin already knows. And Isabeau hasn't seen Loop yet; he just heard their voice. And a couple of the things that voice said.

So Isabeau makes it around that corner while Loop is speaking more quietly. And then Loop says "STARS, killing you will make me SO HAPPY," and Siffrin reaches for their dagger and freezes as he realizes and remembers it's gone, and Isabeau speeds up, and Loop looks up and see him and freezes too.

And Isabeau says, "Sif?? I thought you promised you weren't going to kill yourself over here???"

Long story short, Loop panics and runs, Siffrin follows while shouting things trying to convince them to come back, so of course Isabeau follows too, and Siffrin almost collapses because they're still craft exhausted. Loop gives up and lets them catch up, and I do mean gives up, they just wanna lay down and die, if you can't go out with a bang there's nothing wrong with a whimper. But Siffrin and Isabeau refuse to leave them there, so they wait around and talk at them, and then run out of things to say and wait some more. Eventually Mirabelle finds them and she's very upset and glad they're okay, and at that point Loop gives up on giving up and quietly follows them back to Dormont, so Siffrin won't get himself more sick and all his friends more worried, staying out in the forest all night.

And so! The party knows who Loop is from the very start, but not anything about the time loops! Just that something very strange must have happened, to end up with two Siffrins and one of them a star.

[desideriumwriter]

Anyone But You | Chapter 16

Summary: You really shouldn't have gone to Lee's party, you shouldn't have drank so much, you shouldn't have let your jealously take over, you shouldn't have let Fred see you at all that night.

WC: 1.9k

A/N: short but messy as HELL, sorry yall

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Going to that party was a mistake, you knew it the second you walked through the doorway. You knew it the moment Alicia walked in, followed by a tall ginger boy. You knew it when the alcohol on the kitchen island began to feel like comfort.

Yet, you told yourself you weren’t going to let Fred’s presence ruin your night, like you had let it ruin your mood for years.

It wasn’t just Fred’s presence that was ruining it. It was the fact that Fred showed up to the party with someone. Another girl. A date. 

You had no idea if Alicia and Fred were together, you had no idea what their relationship status was. But whatever thing they seemed to have going on, it put a weird feeling in your stomach. An uneasy one.

It was that same feeling of envy that you had when you saw him and Angelina at the Yule Ball, the feeling that you tried to convince yourself it was caused by the envy of Fred having someone to take to the ball, and not the envy of someone having Fred.

That feeling would go ignored by you, pushed away and buried along with all the other intruding feelings Fred had made you feel.

After seeing them enter, you made it your mission to keep as far away from them as you could. 

You stayed with Angelina and Katie, drank, made awkward small talk, sat outside, talked to a random group of Hufflepuff kids outside, stood around, drank some more.

You were honestly quite content, maybe a little awkward, but you weren't completely miserable. The night had been going pretty good, there hadn’t been any issues at all. Yet.

Of course, until you split off from Angelina and Katie again. They both needed to use the bathroom and you promised you’d save their seats on the couch you were all sitting together on.

Angelina and Katie leaned against the hallway wall, stuck in the line of people that nearly wrapped around the corner.

“How long does it take for someone to piss, wash their hands, and go?”  Katie groaned, looking up and letting her head hit the wall. 

“Why don’t we just go to the bathroom upstairs?” Angelina suggested.

“Last I heard, a couple was getting busy in there.” Katie fake gagged and Angelina grimaced, her dramatic expression fell as she tilted her head over, being able to get a slight view of you waiting on the couch. Behind you, Fred and Alicia distanced away from you, talking to each other.

“You think Fred and Alicia actually have something going on?” Angelina said as she stared, Katie lazily looked over.

“Don’t know. I feel bad for Y/N though. She likes Fred, she just won’t admit it.” Katie sighed and shrugged.

“I wish she’d admit it, she says she's learned to tolerate him and George. But you don’t spend that much time thinking about someone unless you actually care about them, or what they’re doing.” Angelina tutted, “Besides, it seemed like Fred had eyes for her, at least for a moment. I don’t understand, Y/N was just starting to warm up to him. Now he’s off with Alicia.” Angelina shook her head disappointedly.

“Just how boys are. They’re always so confusing, always messing around, never truly clear about how they feel.” Katie inhaled, standing up as the line shuffled forward.

“You think they’ll ever get together? Y/N and Fred?” 

“Maybe. If Fred is clear about what he wants. And if she stops being so stubborn.”

Your leg bounced up and down as you waited, smushing yourself into the corner of the hard couch. Looking around the room at all the partygoers before your night was fucked.

A pair of girls that were unknowingly blocking your sight of the other side of the room moved to another spot in the house, revealing what they were covering.

Fred. Alicia. Sitting on the same chair and giggling at each other. Her sitting on his lap in the leather armchair. Her hand playing with a strand of his hair at the back of his neck. Their faces being way too close for comfort.

And that was your cue to leave. You needed to get out of there, away from them. You lost your friends in the sea of people that crowded the house, but you did find the kitchen, the overhead light shining down on the marble slab island covered with various bottles of alcohol and cups.

In that moment, the warmth of the alcohol going down your throat and into your stomach would be the only warmth you were going to get that night.

Then not soon after, you somehow ended up in a drinking challenge. It was between you and a random Ravenclaw boy, seeing which one of you could finish a row of shots quicker. Another attempt at a distraction.

You took shot after shot, slamming the glasses down on the counter as you beat the boy next to you. You were cheered and applauded by party goers surrounding the kitchen counter. The cheering and liquor made you so brave that eventually you picked up a bottle of fire whiskey and drank straight from it. The cheering grew louder.

Fred, of course, followed the noise with a smile, wanting to see which dumb kid was playing a drinking game now. Only to realize you were that dumb kid as he approached the crowd watching you chug down the liquor.

His face dropped as he saw you, his curious smile turning into a worried frown. You made eye contact with him as you put the now-half finished bottle down. 

Grimacing at the taste then smiling spitefully, raising your arms up in the air at the ovation you were getting. You moved your way through the crowd after taking a random beer can with you, giving high fives to other random drunk kids. You just wanted to get away from Fred. Again.

Yet Fred followed, he caught up and grabbed your shoulder, turning you around. You angrily stepped, more of a drunken stumble, away from his touch before taking another drink from your beer.

“Come on, put that down. You shouldn’t have anymore, you’re gonna drink yourself sick.” He said, taking the can from your hands.

“What are you? My fucking caretaker?” You spat at him, trying to take the drink back. He ended up chugging it, so you couldn’t take it back. You gawked at him.

“What the hell?- So I can’t drink but you can? What the hell is your problem?”

“I’m not the one who's going to have a splitting headache in the morning. I’m trying to keep you from making it worse.” He put the can down on a random side table.

“Whatever. Why don't you just leave me alone and go back to flirting with Spinnet?” You rolled your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.

“What are- Are you jealous?” Fred narrowed his eyes, sticking his head out at you.

“Oh that’s where we’re going now?” You let out a faux laugh, looking at him in disbelief. You weren’t really sure what made you, but you turned away and wobbled your way down the nearest empty hallway. Wanting to escape from Fred.

But of course, Fred with his long legs followed suit. You made your way into a random master bedroom and tried to slam the door right in his face.

“I’m not gonna have you walk away from the conversation.” Fred said as he pushed open the door, closing it behind him. “What is your problem?”

“What’s my problem? What the fuck is your problem? You go and act like you’re in love with me and then you go off and start messing around with another girl.” You spat out, poking your index finger into his shoulder before crossing your arms.

“Are you seri- You’re the one that kissed me!” Fred exclaimed, face full of confusion.

“Yeah? Well, you kissed me back!” You threw your arms up and turned your back to him. You knew your argument was going nowhere, this was pointless. 

“Well I’m sorry that for a moment I thought there could’ve been some sort of thing between us.”

“You keep- God- I can’t- You are so insufferable!” You shouted at him, the combination of the loudness of your voice and how close the two of you were made Fred flinch.

“Yeah. I could say the same about you.” He let out an angry breath, jaw clenching.

“Oh, fuck you!” You pushed Fred, your blood was hot and the effects of your were beginning to flow through you. 

“You always make me so…” You trailed off, eyes glossy as you stared at him with awe. Why was he always so pretty?

And in what felt like a flash, you were pulling onto his sweater vest and bringing his lips to yours. He grabbed onto the sides of your face and pushed back into the kiss.

It was messy, it was sloppy, it lasted longer than the last time. 

You both pulled back at the same time to finally breathe, your lips swollen and chests taking in deep breaths. His hands were still holding your face while yours were still holding onto his vest.

“What are we doing? What are you doing?” Fred sighed, clearly exhausted. “Why won’t you just admit you love me?”

"I don't want to love you." You swallowed, a shaky breath leaving you. 

"But you do." 

"I don't know if I do."

Fred dropped his hands to his sides, stepping back and leaning against the dresser behind him. He threw his head back, shaking it in disappointment.  Saying nothing, he headed for the door, you stopped him.

“Wait! I- please don’t leave.” You begged, grabbing his hand and pulling.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He drew out, punctuating the sentence using your name. “I don’t understand. You spend years hating my guts. You kiss me then you run away, you come back and want to be friends,” He paused, taking a second to rub a hand down his face. 

“Then you get mad when i’m hanging around another girl, you kiss me again and say you don’t want to love me, then beg me to stay? I don’t understand you, I really don’t.” He sighed.

I don’t understand myself either. You wished you could say, you stayed silent instead, lip quivering. Guilt burning a hole in your stomach.

“Why can’t you just come to your fucking senses?” He sighed, sounding and looking like a disappointed parent. He mumbled an apology, screwing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“I’m begging for you to make up your mind.” He added, bringing his hands up and then dropping them back at his sides.

You couldn’t say anything, the lump in your throat stopping you. You were clenching your jaw so hard you could break a tooth, trying to fight back any more tears from falling, though you failed. There was no point, you were at a loss. He was right.

“You shouldn’t be crying over me, you're wasting your tears.” Fred muttered as he swiftly walked out the room, shutting the door behind him. 

You let out a loud sob as you sat down on the bed behind you. Crying like a child while you raked your hands in your hair.

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[buckysgrace]

Out of My Mind

Gator Tillman x stepsis!reader

Gator finally listens to you, only for you to realize that's not what you want.

CW: Stepcest/pseudocest, blowjobs, unprotected p n v sex, some religious trauma sprinkled in there, degradation, reader gets highly highly pathetic soooooo

Can be read as a standalone or you can check out Good Graces as well :)

You were regretful. Your previous actions pained you, made your stomach knot with guilt and worry as you tiptoed through the ranch with your head down.

You were almost convinced that everyone knew, or at least had to be suspicious. Every time someone watched you for a second too long, or spoke to you in a different tone you were sure the truth was going to come out. You were fearful.

Not that Gator seemed to mind. No. He had no issues strutting around in his normal manner, almost as if nothing had happened.

You were doing everything in your power to avoid him. You didn't want to talk to him, didn't want to touch him or see him. You didn't even want to smell his cologne or hear his irritating music. Everything about him got underneath your skin.

It almost worked on your part, but Gator had apparently decided that he couldn't get enough. He was like a little puppy, following you around so closely that he often stumbled onto the back of your heels. The asshole.

You tried to pray away your sin, just like your mother said you could do. But not even that seemed to work. Today, your mind kept wandering back to Sunday and how he had continued to brush his fingertips against the bottom of your dress, just enough that you could feel his bare skin against your own. You could still feel his touch now, almost as if he had burned you.

"You look good on your knees." Your fingers tightened together at the sound of his voice, your eyes dramatically rolling into the back of your head as his footsteps echoed in the room.

"Leave me alone." You retorted the same sentence, although your curiosity got the best of you as you turned your head to the side.

He was in his usual cargo pants, and a black muscle tee clinging to him like a second skin. You could see everything if you allowed your eyes to wander, which you didn't. You couldn't.

"What crawled up your ass?" He teased as he cocked his eyebrows, bringing his vape up towards his lips. You shifted your arms over your mattress, too tired to tell him not to vape in your room.

His eyes were warm, a mixture of brown and green as he took a step closer to you. You hated to acknowledge the way butterflies erupted in your tummy at the way he towered over you from this position. You craned your head up further, deciding to be a little honest. Maybe he'd get the hint then.

"It shouldn't have happened," you told him seriously, whispering underneath your breath so no one could possibly hear, "it was wrong." You reminded him, feeling like he needed a reminder of what that meant.

He cocked his head to the side as he blew out a large puff of smoke, fruity like bubblegum. You swatted at him, wishing that he’d leave you alone.

"I don't remember you tellin' me to stop." He added as he watched you intensely, like he was trying to understand your next move before you made it.

You felt a wave of guilt and shame crashing over you, clearly remembering how you had acted. You didn’t need him to remind you. It kept you up at night as it was.

"Go away." You said at last, swallowing harshly as you turned your attention back towards the cross on your wall. You wondered how people could so easily resist temptation. And that’s exactly what he was.

"In fact," he grinned from ear to ear as he knelt down next to you, sighing softly as he moved his large hands across his thighs, "I think you begged for more of it."

"Don't flatter yourself." You scoffed even though it was true. You knew that you would do it again given the chance. He just happened to be blessed in an annoyingly manner.

Your stomach flipped into knots as he moved a hand against your lower back, making you stiffen as his fingers slowly ran underneath the hem of your shirt. You hated how easily you caved in, how you wanted to feel more of his touch:

"What's the problem?" he hummed as he dragged his finger across your abdomen, earning goosebumps across your skin, "you're already ruined for anyone else." He spit out, making your body chill from his cold words.

"Fuck you." You retorted as you found your voice once again. He couldn’t talk to you like that, you wouldn’t let him. Especially knowing what he had been up to. He has no right.

"Ooh," he smirked as he continued to drift his fingers across your skin, "I don't think God likes when you talk like that." He whispered, suddenly much closer than you anticipated. You could see his freckles on his nose from his closeness, making you wonder if he could also see the way his words sliced into you.

“Leave me alone.” You spoke firmly, sternly as you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and pushed him away. He couldn’t treat you the way he did ever other girl he had been with. You wouldn’t allow it.

“You sure you want that?” He asked, all high and mighty like you would be missing out on something fantastic. Still, you thought about it for a moment. A brief second before you turned away from him.

“I’ve never been more positive about something in my life.” You replied as you linked your fingers together again, bowing your head and pretending to pray. You refused to look at him, only allowed yourself to listen as he stood next to you.

“Then don’t come bitchin’ to me when you’re all lonely again.” He snapped, his anger crashing over you like a thick wave. You ignored him still, only listening to the sound of his footsteps leaving the room.

You prayed that he had gotten the hint.

-

The next few weeks were uneventful, cold even. Gator didn’t bother you, didn’t look in your direction or speak to you other than to occasionally ask you to pass him the salt.

Which was somehow worse. All that effort to push him away and now you were regretting it, but you refused to admit it. You were sure he’d come crawling back first.

In place of his absence, your lust grew. You thought about him in the shower, during early mornings and late nights, when you were in bed alone and only God could judge you for your actions. You were a mess.

And when he remained stubborn you hatched your own plan; wearing shorter skirts and unbuttoning the top of your dresses a little more. Sitting close to him and drifting your fingers across the nape of his neck, making him shiver even when he pretended it didn’t affect him.

“Late night?” You asked as you turned towards him, checking the clock on the wall. He was almost three hours late, making you wonder where he had been. Or whom he had been with him.

“Why do you care?” He snorted as his eyes breezed over you, not paying attention to the little nightgown that you had picked out. You had hoped it would make him break and grovel for you.

“Who said I did?” He scoffed at your reply, shaking his head as he continued to strip his vest off. You watched the way his muscles tensed as he did so, making your mouth water just a bit.

You were already damned. You might as well make the most out of it.

“You don’t talk to me anymore.” You rested your hand against your cheek as you spoke softly, sighing as you crossed your ankles together. Your heart flipped inside of your chest as he turned towards you, eyebrows furrowing together.

“You said to leave you alone.” He stated in disbelief, eyes narrowing as you began to shift again. He wasn't any fun.

“Oh, come on,” you pouted as you rested your arms across the back of the chair, watching as he kicked his boots away, “I was just scared.” You admitted, wishing that he would turn those gloomy eyes towards you.

“Alright.” He stated dryly, like he wasn't interested. Panic swelled inside of you, making you wonder if he had already found someone else.

“Why don’t you come sit with me?” You offered as you patted the spot next to you, wanting him to notice how well you had cleaned up.

“I’m good.” His reply made your heart drop into the floor, beaten and bloody as you straightened your shoulders out. You wouldn't take that as his final answer, no way.

“I’ll rub your feet,” you offered as you slowly crept towards him, well aware of the way his features fell in surprise, “your shoulders and your legs. I’m sure you worked hard today.” You cooed softly, crawling like a beast towards him.

“What’s gotten into you?” He whispered out this time, hazel eyes widening as he gave his head a little shake. Like he honestly had no idea what he had done.

“Just being nice,” you told him as you rested in front of him, fluttering your eyelashes, “You look so tired. Let me help you.” You pleaded softly, hands falling against his ankles.

“You’re pathetic, you know that.” He spit out harshly, like his words could offend you as your hands moved up towards his knees. You didn't care what he thought, what anyone thought. He was probably right, but you knew he wanted you just as badly.

“And I know you’re lonely,” you whispered as you ran your fingers across his thick thighs, “I can fix that.” You told him honestly, leaning your face against his hip bone. You could feel his body stiffening from your touch, like he was fighitng the urge to give in.

“Why should I?” He asked as he breathed in deeply while you dragged your nose across the front of his pants. He smelt nice, really good.

"I'll be good," you promised as you nuzzled your cheek across his thigh, your nose dragging across the obvious bulge in his pants, "Please. I'll be a good girl. A good little sister."

"Yeah?" He tsked as he tilted his head once again, like he was still considering what you had said. You pouted your lips out as you continued to press yourself up against him, desperate to feel anything from him, "You can't be that pathetic for some cock."

"Just yours," you promised, purring as you linked your fingers across his belt, "I wanna feel you so badly. Please." You nodded your head encouragingly, as if it might do something to change his mind.

It felt like a lifetime had passes as he dragged his fingers across your forehead, the corners of his lips curled into the tiniest smirk. His eyes were intense as he watched you, but you refused to look away. You wanted him to realize just how much you needed him.

"S'okay," he said at last, making your heart hammer inside your chest as he began to undo his belt. Everything inside of you pulsed as you observed him greedily, trying to fight the urge to reach out and do it yourself, "We all make mistakes sometimes." He retorted cockily, nearly making you roll your eyes. But you didn't, too fearful that he might stop his actions.

You flicked your tongue out across your lips as he pulled his belt free, then unbuttoned his pants. You could no longer just sit as you reached forward, eagerly helping him pull his slacks down to his ankles.

Your hungrily stared at the large bulge in front of you, straining inside of a pair of boxers. You exhaled as you drifted your fingertips across it, grinning at the way he groaned underneath your touch.

A grin fell to your lips as you gripped a hold of his boxers, tugging them down slowly as his dick popped free from it's restraints. You were in awe of how long he was, how thick and hefty he appeared.

You hated to admit that his cock was pretty. Slightly paler, tip pink and leaking as you felt how heavy it was in your hands. Curved upright and his base surrounded with thick hair.

You wrapped your fingers around his thick girth delicately, biting down on your bottom lip as he inhaled deeply. You dragged your fingers up to the head of his cock, smearing the precum across his tip before gliding it towards his base.

He grunted lowly, jerking his hips forward with your motions as you continued to trace the curve of his cock with your hand. You swore you could feel him pulsing against your skin, warm and soft at the same time.

You relaxed your jaw, momentarily preparing yourself to feel the stretch of his cock in your mouth. You leaned forward, kissing the tip of his cock while stroking his base in your hand.

A whimper broke free from his lips, making your insides twist and turn in bliss as you snapped your eyes up towards him. His eyes had fluttered shut, his eyebrows furrowing together as his lips fell open.

Pretty. The bastard had the nerve to look absolutely beautiful.

"Fuck," he cursed, eyes snapping open to look at you as you spread your lips across his thick tip. You pressed your tongue down further, trying to make more room in your mouth as you lowered your mouth onto the length of his cock, "You're such a little slut."

His words carried like electricity through your veins, warming your skin as your clit throbbed as you savored the feeling of his dick in your mouth.

His hands fell to the back of your head, his grip tightening as he forced your mouth further along the length of his dick. You whined at the feeling, chest aching as your lips stretched further sound him.

“Just like that,” he groaned as his hips snapped forward once again, needy as you continued to bob your head along the curve of his cock, “taking me so good.” He praised as you swallowed a moan, all too aware of how soaked your panties had become.

You gagged as his cock hit the back of your throat, eyes watering as drool slid from the corners of your lips. It was messy, sloppy as he gripped the back of your neck and continued to fuck into your mouth.

You knew it was dangerous to be doing this, even more so than last time. Roy and your mother were just upstairs, hopefully asleep as you continued to drag your mouth along your stepbrothers fat cock. Something about that turned you on, sent a desirable rush through your body.

His fingers dug into your scalp as you gagged harshly around him, drool falling onto your chest and his boots as you struggled to hold him in your throat. His balls were warm against your chin, soaked in your spit as he held you in place.

He held you there for a moment, hazel eyes locked on yours as he breathed in the sight of you. You were sure you looked a mess, but everything written on his features suggested that he enjoyed it.

He released you with a loud groan, his cock sliding from your mouth as you pulled away to fill your lungs with fresh hair. You touched your chest, spit continuing to leak from your mouth as you panted roughly.

“Fuckin’ whore,” he cursed as he grabbed your arms, pulling you onto your feet before you could fully compose yourself. Your body felt like jello as he stripped you from your dress, moving hastily before he pushed you onto the couch, “knew you wanted me badly.” He replied with a little smirk, looking quite proud of himself.

You could barely not your head as you watched him, excitement pooling inside of you as you stretched your legs wide. You pushed your knees up towards your chest, trying to ignore the way your pussy was glistening with want.

“She’s so needy for me,” he cooed as he dragged his fingertips through your soaked folds, earning a little whimper from you, “can’t wait to feel her stretchin’ around me.”

"Need you to fuck me." You whined as he grazed his digits across your slick hole, making your walls flutter with anticipation. Your clit was throbbing, desperate to feel his girth gliding into you.

"You've got a dirty little mouth on ya." He stated as he tilted his head, looking rather cocky as he used his other hand to rub his fat tip across your drenched cunt.

Your body spasmed at the feeling of his heavy cock resting across your pussy, making you feel even more eager as you examined just how much of him would be filling you. You breathed in and out, eyes heavy and mind fuzzy with pleasure. You needed him now.

"Please, Gator," you whined, rolling your hips forward, "Make me feel good." You begged as your clit dragged across the curve of his cock. he groaned at the sensation, his eyes darkening as he reached between your bodies.

You chewed on your bottom lip, heart hammering as you watched the way he wrapped his fingers across his girth. His lips curled into a little smirk as he thrusted forward, his balls pressing against your skin as you squirmed underneath him.

He pulled back hungrily, features full of lust as he bullied the tip of his dick against your soaked hole. Your hands fell to his strong shoulders as he slowly slid inside, his soft groans filling your ears.

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at the feeling of his cock stretching your walls out, allowing his thick cock inside of your tight walls as little whimpers left his lips. You were just as whiny, needing to feel him buried deep inside of you.

The sound that left his lips was enough to make your toes curl in pleasure, bliss burning deep inside of your veins as you tugged him even closer. His chest was hot against your own, his skin slick as you arched your chest up towards him.

One of his large hands fell to your waist, his fingertips digging into your flesh as he began to slowly grind his cock in and out of your clenched cunt. Your nipples hardened in the chill air, sparking pleasure as they brushed against his strong torso.

You reached your hands above your head, fingertips grazing across the armrest as he continued to drag his cock in and out of your wet walls. His mouth was hot against your skin, licking and sucking on your neck.

"So fuckin' good for me," he cursed as his forehead fell against yours, soft whines and moans continuing to spill from his tongue. You gaped, feeling like you had never been so deeply filled before, "You like my cock, don't you?" He mumbled, words strained as he roughly jerked your hands back across his shoulders.

Your nails dug into his flesh, earning a little yelp from him as he dragged his cock into you deeper. You could feel your eyes rolling back in pleasure, moans leaving your lips freely.

"Love your cock so much," you whined as you rolled your hips up to meet his thrusts, sighing as your cunt cried around his cock; soaking your thighs and his balls, "right there, Gator." You begged, electricity burning deeply inside of you as his warm eyes fell onto yours. Your insides twisted in bliss, taking in how pretty he looked as the pleasure filled him.

The couch creaked from underneath the combined weight of the two of you, your body sinking further into the cushions as his fingertips burned into your skin. You clung to him, your walls gripping him tightly as he pressed into your faster.

"S'fucking good," he spit out, lips coated with spit as his head rolled back lazily. The sound of your bodies meeting filled your ears, bouncing off of the living room walls, "Gonna fill this pretty little tang up, make her all mine." He huffed, throat straining as he gripped you tighter.

You nodded your head lazily, your mind foggy with pleasure as you savored the curve of his cock dragging against your bundle of nerves. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, nails digging into his skin as your stomach muscles clenched tightly.

"Gator, fuck, fuck," you cursed, whimpers breaking free as your body squirmed underneath his heavy body, your orgasm crashing over you in thick waves, "Fuck!" You cried out, leaning forward to muffle your sounds of pleasure against his neck.

Your body shook, trembling as his thrusts became harder and faster. Your pussy squelched around his cock, leaking with your cum as his moans became whinier, needier.

Your lips pressed against his neck gently, leaving sloppy kisses against where you could feel his pulse raising underneath his flushed skin. You licked his sweat away slowly, before giving his skin a little nibble.

"M'fuck," he hissed as he pressed into you deeply, cock twitching as you curled your toes in pleasure once again. He was flush against your bundle of nerves

You bit down harder on his skin as you felt his cum spilling inside of you, coating your walls with a mixture of your sin. You hated how glorious it felt, how you already craved more of it.

His lips were soft against yours, even though his mouth was slightly chapped. You tilted your head up towards his, wrapping your arms around his shoulders so he could kiss you deeper.

Your body was limp underneath him, thighs still trembling as you savored the taste of him on your tongue. This was going to be the last time. It had to be.

Maybe.

“Gonna want more of you.” He mumbled, like he could read your mind as he gripped your chin in his hand. He squeezed softly, eyes searching your own.

“It’s wrong.” You whispered as your heart continued to hammer roughly inside of your chest, making you wish you could hide it away.

“But it feels good,” he responded with a little smirk as he brushed his fingers across your cheek, “why should we deny ourselves that?” He questioned, making you wonder if you could agree with him for once.

[dykedvonte]

I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.

I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.

It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.

There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.

[iguessitsjustme]

*takes you by the hand as gently as I can*

You can dislike Maya without turning her into a one dimensional villain that serves no purpose to the story.

You can dislike Maya without disparaging the story and message the show is trying to convey.

You can hate Maya without moralizing your hatred. You can just hate her. It’s okay.

[momentomori24]

I saw a "Yttd hot takes" post yesterday and it actually tickles my brain a bit how the majority of responses are not hot takes at all and mostly boil down to not caring for/hating Midori and saying that he's not deep or interesting at all and very surface level, thinking soushin is "proship" and if you like it you're probably an abuser irl or that you're ""romanticising"" abuse (that word needs to be put on the highest possible shelf btw) if you interpret it as romantic and that the greenblings reveal sucks because somehow it means that Sou and Kanna aren't found family anymore. There's having hot takes and then there's misunderstanding characters/dynamics and spouting the same dangerous bs all fandoms do, and 95% of the responses leaned heavily towards the latter options.

I have opinions on that greenblings take, but those soushin and Midori takes are something else and by that I mean not at all. Like, I'm sorry, but if your "hot take" doesn't oppose the general consensus of the fandom you're in, it's not a hot take. You're serving me white rice with unseasoned chicken and bland curry and I call that false advertising.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[spark-circuit]

me at my bookstore job to the 27th young adult straight edgy fantasy romance to come in this month

[dreamwinged]

to be so honest im starting to think i really need to see a professional for my social anxiety

[agendratum]

.

[equalperson]

I fucking hate being traumatized because why am I bawling the hardest I've bawled in god-knows-how-long because someone I didn't even like that much berated Me. gasping wailing trembling and snotting over this for several minutes.

[nonsensechemicals]

covert npd is awesome and i want to live and i’m going to listen to song about pirates

[shatterthefragments]

Ugh not to be like it’s been 5 years: LET IT GO.

But. It’s been FIVE YEARS. And we’ve been friends but the only thing you talk about is that conference we attended together that I can’t even remember anything but seeing bunnies on campus and that it was my first time taking a taxi alone.

I’ve moved on. I can’t remember it anymore to hold these grudges. I can’t hold onto those extra grudges that I’m not part of. I can’t remember what they did until you rehash it. (Also omg LISTING OUT NAMES?!? I don’t even remember almost half these names at all)

[pa-pa-plasma]

kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment