#talking imperfectum

[dawningblueheaven]

🏮shades of red asks: merlot, claret, promegranate, wine, (blood😏🤨)

merlot: do you have any unusual fears? 

nothing really unusual i suppose. all my fears are emotional/psychological tho, i don’t have any physical fears of i.e. heigths or specific animals or activities.

claret: talk about a memorable experience on public transport. 

okay, so one night almost two years ago, I was invited to the birthday party of my sister’s boyfriend. like we are pretty close, but it was still very nice he invited me, bc obviously there were only their friends and some of them knew me and liked me well enough, but it still wasn’t my friend group or anything. and well shortly after midnight i decided to go home, bc i was starting to feel pretty shitty and lonely in between all the people (plus i was a little drunk, too). at that time i had a big struggle with my - let’s say ex-girlfriend. the story is super long and super complicated, but bottom line, i sat on the train that was by chance also the one that ran by her street and i was crying pretty hard. i did cry a few times on the train in my life and nobody ever asked me about it, but that night a middle-aged woman, who was taking the train to the city with friends, asked me if i was okay. and i was crying so much, i couldn’t really give a coherent answer and even if, i didn’t really want to talk about it and didn’t know how to explain the situation either. so she guessed “broken-hearted?” and i nodded bc it was true. and she went “what happened” and i just said i didn’t want to stay at the party and she said “old story? he ditched you?” like in a super friendly way and i nodded again, bc it the real story was much too complicated to tell and honestly it really just was about me being broken hearted and it somehow felt nice to pretend it really was just the same old story. and she was so nice, like she comforted me the whole train ride.

pomegranate: favourite and least favourite fruits? 

uh, favourite: blueberries; least favourite: figs

wine: tell us about your first experience with alcohol. 

oh wow, opening all cans of worms, huh? so, i live in germany, so  we’re legally allowed to buy and drink beer, wine, prosecco etc. at the age of 16 and all the hard stuff at age 18. Most of my previous friends started drinking around 15, tho. i was never one of them. despite all my friends starting to party, i refused to drink anything at all and really stood my ground on that matter, until i was almost 17 and fell desperately in love with a guy the first time. again, complicated story, but basically, we had an outing with the group and when he asked “do you wanna drink something?”, obviously i said yes. now, i was super in love with him and he was being pretty unclear about his feelings, but that night we both got drunk and he held my hand the whole night and we were dancing and he said he’d kiss me, when we were alone - which for 17 yrs old me was a dream coming true... until the next morning ofc, when i had to wake up to realize that things said and done drunk apparently don’t count and yet we were forced to sit next to each other on an hour long train ride with an awkward silence yet unmatched in my life, bc he was hungover and i was so damn insecure and sad and nervous. (spoiler: he did in fact not return my feelings, but in retrospect i told myself that at least that one night belonged to me. i still avoided that club and it’s surroundings for years afterwards.)

blood: which of your family members is your favourite? 

you sneaky thing :D ofc you! (and my other sister and my grandma, obviously)

[luxettenebra]

...why do I have a whole list of Latin swearing. Got no idea where it all come from, but oh well, here’s the entire list I have if you’re curious:

“faex” - shit “cane” - bitch (this is actually referring to a dog, however, and not the female derogatory) “deodamnatus” - dammit “cunne” - cunt “filius canis” - son of a bitch (literally ‘son of a dog’) “fututus et mori in igni” - fuck off and die in a fire “futuere” - get fucked “futue te ipsi” - fuck you “irrumabo” - dick “trude id sursum tui cunni, faexcaput” -  shove it up your cunt, shithead. “ede faecam” - eat shit “suge meum penem, cunne” - suck my dick, cunt “morde meum globes” - bite my balls “Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo” - i’ll fuck you up the ass and make you blow me (OR ’ I will sodomize you and face-fuck you’. this is from a poem called Catullus 16, the filthiest latin poems you can find) “Te futueo et caballum tuum” - Screw you and the horse you rode in on “Irrumator” - Bastard “Leno” - Pimp “Flocci non faccio” - I don’t give a damn “Mihi irruma et te pedicabo” - Give me head and I’ll ass fuck you “Mentula” - Penis “Meretrix” - Prostitute “Bovis stercus” - Bull shit “Es stultior asino” - You are dumber than an ass “Es scortum obscenus vilis” - You are a vile, perverted whore “Es mundus excrementi” - You are a pile of shit “Bibe semen meum” - Swallow my cum “Bibe semen meum e baculo” - Swallow my cum from a cup “Globos meos lambe!” - Lick my balls “Es stercus!”  You shit! “Moecha Putida” - Dirty slut “Podex perfectus es” - You’re a complete asshole “Futue te ipsum!” - Go fuck yourself! “Stercorem pro cerebro habes” - You have shit for brains “Caput tuum in ano est” - You have your head up your ass “Perite” - Fuck off! “Impudens es leno” - You shameless pimp “Vacca stulta” - You stupid cow “Vescere bracis meis” - Eat my shorts “Tu scronium es” - You are a whore “Caput stercoris” - shithead (lit. head of shit) “Mentulam Caco” - I shit on your prick “Obesus porcus” - Fat pig “Cupio te meam mentulam sugare” - I want you to suck my dick “Matris futuor” - Mother fucker “Te odeo, interfice te cochleare” - I hate you. Kill yourself with a spoon. “Matris Prolapsus” - Bitch (??) “Stercus accidit” - Shit happens “Potes meos suaviari clunes” - You can kiss my ass. “Quando podeces te regi eorum fecerunt?” - When did the assholes make you their king? “Lupa” - Slut “Cacator” - Shitter “Plenus stercoris es” You are full of shit “Derideo te!” - I laugh at you! “Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?” - Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? “Fabriacate diem, punk” - Make my day, punk “Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit” - It isn’t over until it’s over “Morologus es!” - You’re talking like a moron! “Puto vos esse molestissimos” - I think that you are very annoying “Qualem blennum!” - What a doofus! “Qualem muleirculam!” - What a bimbo! “Quisque comoedus est” - Everybody’s a comedian “Radix lecti” - Couch potato “Raptus regaliter” - Royally screwed “Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!” - Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business “Stultus est sicut stultus facit” - Stupid is as stupid does “Tace atque abi” - Shut up and go away “Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant “ - May barbarians invade your personal space “Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant” - May conspirators assassinate you in the mall “Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant” - May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy “Vacca foeda” - Dirty cow “Vae!” - Damn! “Viri sunt Viri” - Men are slime “Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! ” - Gross and putrid monster! “Faciem durum cacantis habes” - You have the face of a man with severe constipation “Mala pituita nasi” - Nasty nasal drippings! “Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare.” - If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. “Commodum habitus es” - You have just been owned “Canis matrem tuam subagiget” - Dog has desecrated your mother “Hic erit in lecto fortissimus” - He is Hercules in the sack “Asinus Stultissimus” - Dumbass (lit. “Very stupid donkey”) “Caput tuum in ano est” - Your head is in your ass “Tuam matrem feci” - I did your mother “A tergo” - In the ass “Scio erit in lecto fortissimus” - I am Hercules in the sack. Just bear in mind that the overwhelming majority are NOT ROMAN-ERA PHRASES, but rather the literal translations of distinctly modern phrases by modern Latin students (the obvious exception being the Catullus line, gods but I love Catullus) and some of the actual Roman-era words/phrases are given somewhat inaccurate translations (eg, lupa literally means “she-wolf” but in slang it meant “female prostitute” — which it does in modern Italian, I’ve learned the hard way; perite means “go to Hell” which is a bit tonally different from “fuck off”; and irrumabo is a future-tense VERB, not a noun!!!). The grammar is a little stiff in places too, but hey. The Romans had some really damned dirty turns of phrase all their own. IMO theirs are often a lot more interesting. If you’re writing snappy comebacks from nerdy students (*cough*) these’ll do great. If you’re writing invectives that’re supposed to be ancient…go find the actual ancient invectives. ;) From Catullus: Line Latin text English translation[14][15][16][17] 1 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, I will sodomize you and face-fuck you, 2 Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, Cock-sucker Aurelius and catamite Furius, 3 qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, You who think, because my verses 4 quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Are delicate, that I am a sissy. 5 Nam castum esse decet pium poetam For it's right for the devoted poet to be chaste 6 ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest(necesse est); Himself, but it's not necessary for his verses to be so. 7 qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, Verses which then have taste and charm, 8 si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici If they are delicate and sexy, 9 et quod pruriat incitare possunt, And can incite an itch, 10 non dico pueris, sed his pilosis And I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men 11 qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. Who can't get their flaccid dicks up. 12 Vos, quod milia multa basiorum You, because you have read of my thousand kisses, 13 legistis, male me marem putatis? You think I'm a sissy? 14 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo. I will sodomize you and face-fuck you. Sexual terminology Latin is an exact language for obscene acts, such as pedicabo and irrumabo, which appear in the first and last lines of the poem. The term pedicare is a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's anus",[18] and derives from an analogous Greek word, ???????, itself derived ultimately from the Greek word ????, ?????? (child). The term cinaede in line 2 refers to the "bottom" person in that act, i.e., the one being penetrated.[19] The term irrumare is likewise a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's mouth for suckling",[20] and derives from the Latin word, ruma meaning "teat". A male who suckles a penis is denoted as a fellator or, equivalently, a pathicus (line 2).[21] Thus, there is an elegant poetic chiasm (a "criss-cross" rhetorical structure) in the first two lines. Each line has two obscenities; the first of the first line, pedicabo, matches the second of the second line, cinaede, whereas the second of the first line, irrumabo, matches the first of the second line, pathice. The central pun of the poem occurs in line 4 with quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. The word molliculi refers to Catullus' verses and means "soft and tender little verses", as in love poetry. However, mollis can also mean "effeminate fellator", as well as "soft" in the sense of "flaccid penis". Likewise, parum pudicum refers to Catullus, and can mean "wanton" or "fellator". Thus, in explicit modern English, the pun suggests that "just because my verses are little and soft, doesn't mean that I'm the same, that I'm some hussy cock-sucker who can't get it up". This may be translated more delicately with the analogous English pun, "that I've gone all soft". The rest of the poem plays upon that pun. On the contrary, says Catullus, although my verses are soft (molliculi ac parum pudici in line 8, reversing the play on words), they can arouse even limp old men. Should Furius and Aurelius have any remaining doubts about Catullus' virility, he offers to fuck them anally and orally to prove otherwise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin_profanity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_tablet Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est urbs habet octo colles Your mama is so fat when she goes to Rome it has 8 hills! Futue te ipsum. Go F--- yourself Mande merdam et morere. Eat sh-- and die Velim caput tuum devellere deinde in confinium gulae cacare I'm gonna rip off you head and crap down your neck. Te fututo, gaudeo You having been f---d, I rejoice. (ablative absolute! Amaze your Latin teacher!) Sentite aciem acrem ensis mortiferi, o larvae putidae, o bustirapi nefandi! Feel the keen edge if the sword of doom, no-good stinking corpse-eating tomb-ghouls! Caput capitis = dick head. Cacator = shitter Hope that helps !! M.VIB.M. Usefull if you have a friend that knows latin and thinks he is a super cool because of it. Latin Swearing Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum screw you and the horse you rode in on Tu plenus sterco es You are full of shit (lit. you are packed with shit) Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags. Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar. Cepe indicum Take a hint Derideo te! I laugh at you! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Fabriacate diem, punk Make (my) day, punk Fac ut vivas Get a life Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero? Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it? Obesa cantavit The fat lady has sung Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit It isn't over until it's over Illegitimi non carborundum Don't let the bastards burn you Labra lege Read my lips Lege atque lacrima Read 'em and weep Morologus es! You're talking like a moron! Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo Don't call me, I'll call you. Noli nothis permittere te terere Don’t let the bastards get you down. Nullo modo No way Puto vos esse molestissimos I think that you are very annoying Qualem blennum! What a doofus! Qualem muleirculam! What a bimbo! Quisque comoedus est Everybody's a comedian Quo usque tandem abutere patentia nostra? How long are you going to abuse our patience? Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? How do you get your hair to do that? Radix lecti Couch potato Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business Scio vos esse molestissimos I know that you are very troublesome Stultus est sicut stultus facit Stupid is as stupid does Tace atque abi Shut up and go away Ut si! As if! Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant May barbarians invade your personal space Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant May conspirators assassinate you in the mall Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy Vacca foeda Stupid cow Vae! Damn! Viri sunt Viri Men are slime Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! Gross and putrid monster! Faciem durum cacantis habes You have the face of a man with severe constipation Mala pituita nasi Nasty nasal drippings! Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem. Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business. Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare. If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. Semper in excrementum, sole profundum qui variat. Always in the shit, just the depth that varies.