#taking bets for how long this will take i am optimistically saying 10 days

[landwriter]

officially putting a publishing embargo on my own fics until i finish a few malingering wips and then releasing them together in one week because if there's one thing that's helpful and productive it's an all-or-nothing mentality

[starkerforlife6969]

He’s Just Not that Into You- Starker AU

It's the first week of summer and Peter's got a date.

Jacob is nice, and Peter's changed his shirt three times, and the bar is warm on this June evening, and thriving. Dancing bachelorette parties, the game on the big screen tvs hanging from the ceiling and-

Jacob's twenty minutes late.

But that's fine, Peter's fine, he pulls at his cuffs, tucks a curl behind his ear, bites his lip, refuses the temptation to look at his phone.

Maybe he should call Ned, Ned would know what to do-

"You waiting for someone, gorgeous?"

Peter looks up, feels colour rush to his cheeks. Dark eyes, a mouth that's sinful, smirking, in a tight fitting shirt and- "Oh um, no-yes- I mean." Peter manages a smile. "I might've been stood up? But, he probably- something probably came up. Or maybe I had the date wrong."

Smirk looks at him. Sizes him up. "Let me buy you a drink, bambi." He says.

After two drinks, Peter Parker thinks Tony Stark might be his saviour.

He's twenty two, the same age as Peter, but he's got it all- got it all figured out.

"So- Jacob didn't really like me. The phone number was fake." He realises aloud.

"If the guy likes you," Tony nods sagely, sipping his dakiri, "he'll take your number and give you his. He gave you a fake number, bet he didn't ask for yours, right?"

Peter wilts a little. Sighing at his own foolishness. "Right. I thought we had a good time."

Tony reaches over to nudge him. "You need to know what to look for, that's all. When to reel them in. When to get keen. I know guys like you, sweet guys- no disrespect, but you take every little thing as some sort of sign. Oh, he smiled at me or he picked up my pen-"

"But he smiled at me and he did not smile at anyone else-"

"Pete," Tony chuckles, "romcoms have ruined you. Naive-"

"Optimistic."

"Naive." Tony insists, bright-eyed. "Just because you met in a library and you both reached for the same edition of Harry Potter at the same time-"

Peter smacks him. "You're such a Slytherin." He glares.

Tony winks at him. "Hufflepuff, you gotta know how to play the game."

Peter mixes his drink. Muses. "I didn't think love was a game." He admits softly, deflating. The bar's deflated a little now too. Emptier. The TVs are off. The music is quiet and gentle. Here are he and Tony, cluttered over a small table.

"Love is a game, Peter. And we're gonna help you win."

*

They stay there for a few hours yet. Going over Peter's past relationships. Flash, MJ, Gwen, Jacob-

Going over Peter's blind date tactics, how to read people, how to know when to cut the chord- but Tony doesn't mind Peter's bumbling idiocy. He likes helping people. And Peter's sweet, the sort of sweet Tony hasn't seen in a long time. That isn't available in the private boarding schools he grew up in. That wasn't allowed through the pristine hard wood front doors.

"Oh, hey," Peter says, slurring just a little. The drinks he'd had were mostly sugar, not alcohol. "It's empty- is it closed?" He gapes, looking around, all fawn-like.

"It's fine, bambi," Tony grins, sliding his arm under Peter's, guiding him to the door. "My dad owns the place. I'll lock up. You all good getting home?"

"I'll call a cab." Peter nods, wincing at the cool night air. Tony locks up, before turning to look down at his new friend.

"It's good meeting you, Pete." He says, grinning, and Peter beams up at him.

"I know you said not to read into anything, but- wouldn't it be romantic if we fell in love? Like, you saved me from being stood up-"

Tony clamps his hand over Peter's mouth, tutting fondly. This kid. "Not that kinda movie, sweetheart. I'll be the mentor. The guide. The Yoda to your Luke."

Peter nods, and Tony removes his hand. Peter smiles beatifically up at him. "Alright. Thank you, sensei. I will resolve to follow your council."

Tony likes him. Wants to see him do well. Had hated the sight of the kid (not a kid, the same age, but Peter doesn't seem it. Full of idealism and princess stories) being stood up. Tony wants to see him happy. In love. Not getting played. Just because it's not for Tony, doesn't mean he doesn't want Peter to have it. "Here, take my number." Tony says, taking Peter's phone, typing in his number and sending himself a text. "Call me whenever you have a question."

Peter takes the phone gratefully. Cradles it in his palm. "Take you up on that I will."

Tony flicks his head. "I'm Yoda, nitwit."

"Hurt that did." Peter pouts, and Tony laughs into the night air, and hopes Peter calls.

*

Beck is hot, hard muscle, and Peter's only slightly uncomfortable from his position being pinned on the couch- the bony arm rest digging into his back, but that's all fine, because Beck tastes like toothpaste and his hands make Peter shudder-

They'd met yesterday, at a coffee shop. They'd both reached for the pumpkin spiced latte. Had both laughed. Exchanged numbers. It was a perfect meet-cute.

And Beck had called Peter. He's reading all the signs right, he's sure of it.

Peter curses when his phone buzzes. His boss wants his article done by tonight. New deadline. He sighs, pulling out from Beck's grip. "Sorry," he says earnestly, "I've gotta go. My boss needs this."

Beck nods, flushed, half-hard, hair falling attractively into his face. "I get it, but you can do your work here? Hm? I'll order take out, you can spend the night..."

Beck's hands slide up Peter's shirt, massage the taut muscle there. Peter relaxes into the touch, just a little. "That sounds nice..." he confesses, before laughing, "but I would never get anything done with you here."

Beck kisses his neck, bristly, goose-bump inducing. "Would that be so bad?" He murmurs.

"I really can't..."

"It just sucks," Beck sighs, pulling away. "Because I'm going out of town tomorrow and won't be in touch for a while. I'll just miss you."

Out of town? Peter's head rings. He's not sure what to make of it. Is it a play? Does Beck like him? Does he just want sex? If Peter stays tonight, will he never see Beck again?

"Can I go to the bathroom?" He blurts, like he's in school and Beck blinks at him, bewildered, but gestures with his hand.

He finds Tony's number under Sexy Yoda which is just- mental images that Peter does not need right now- and he dials.

"Pete, you called." Tony says warmly, answering on the second ring.

"Oh hey, hi- Tony," Peter bleats, sitting on the bathtub and thrumming his fingers. "I'm in a situation- need advice."

"Ah, amazing- one sec." Then, quieter, "Hey, Pep, d'ya mind? I'll be back in 10."

"Hope I'm not interrupting!"

"Not at all. So, where we at?"

"Okay, so, making out- I say I have to go, he says I should stay- I say I can't- then he says that he'll be leaving tomorrow so will be out of touch."

"Run." Tony says immediately, and Peter's face falls.

"What? No," he whines, "What if he really is just going out of town?"

"Peter." Tony says, in that no-nonsense voice, "Where could he possibly be going in the world that would mean he couldn't talk to you over the phone? He wants a hook up. Do you want a hook up?"

Miserably: "No."

"Well then, like I said: Run."

Peter sighs. "So, he doesn't like me?"

"Sure he likes you. Likes the thought of you in his bed. Who wouldn't? You're very cute. But he does not want a relationship. I sure don't respect the guy for trying to trick you into it, I'm upfront with all my one-night stands. It's just sex: nothing more."

"I'm thrilled for you." Peter remarks dryly. "So, run?"

"Run."

Peter runs.

***

In yoga class, the new instructor, Stephen, compliments his form and then asks him out to dinner.

"Run." Tony says, mouthful of something, on his lunch break.

Peter pecks at his own chicken salad. "Why? We haven't even gone out yet."

"Pete, do I have to spell it out for you? Yoga? Bending over, flexibility, bet you've got tight yoga pants and everything."

Peter wipes a drop of dressing off his keyboard. "Not everyone is as physically minded as you are. Maybe he thought we'd get on."

"He's asked you out based on nothing but the way you look doing the downward dog. Waste of time."

"I think you're wrong. I'm going to meet him for dinner."

Tony sighs. It crinkles down the receiver with disapproval. "Go for it. I'll eagerly await your apology."

When Peter does apologise, two days later, Tony is nice enough not to rub it in.

***

Mr Jameson is tough on the edges, but a softie deep down, Peter knows that.

Which is why he tries not to let the very brutal edits on his latest piece get him down. They're all very fair. So, he works through them methodically, learning, trying to improve, and not let them get him down.

It's late afternoon, he's in the zone, when his phone buzzes.

He picks it up absentmindedly, one knee drawn to his chest on his bed, other hand still scrolling through the word document.

"Hello?"

"Hey Pete, how goes the search for love?"

"Tony." Peter beams, warm all over, pushing away his laptop and collapsing back into his pillows. "How are you?"

"Good, good, bar's busy. Dad's happy enough with me managing it. New receptionist hates me, though."

"Pepper?"

"Yeah. I told her it was just sex- she misread the signs. Don't be like her, Peter."

"If a person wants to be with you, they'll ask you out, they'll make it happen." Peter recites: Tony's number one rule.

"Atta boy. What about you? Jameson like your piece?"

"A few edits. I'm working through them now. Actually- the photographer, Eddy, he's nice, handsome, might be into me?"

"Might?"

"Well, I don't know. He's never said anything. Am I allowed to ask anyone out? Or is that against the rules?"

"You can definitely ask someone out." Tony hums, "just make sure you can read their response. Ask him out, if he's busy- he's not into you. If he leaps at the chance, well, you've nailed it."

"Okay," Peter nods, excited. "Where should I ask him to go? Dinner? Is that too boring?"

"Hockey game, a movie, hell, a stake-out, it doesn't matter, just don't read into anything that isn't there."

"I won't. Thanks for the help, Tony, really," Peter says, "And sorry to call you on a Saturday."

"No worries, Bambi. Let me know how it goes with Eddy."

"Let me know if Pepper forgives you!"

Peter falls back into his work. Doesn't realise until just before he goes to sleep that actually- Tony called him.

***

"He said no." Comes Peter's voice through the ear-piece, as Tony debates whether to make himself a kale or spinach smoothie at home later. Both packs of green look equally healthy.

Tony dumps them both in the basket. Ignores the guy leering at him in favour of turning Peter up a little. "I'm sorry, kid. But better you know now than later, right?"

When Peter speaks, his throat sounds clogged "I guess." He says forlornly.

Tony cocks his head. Listens. Thinks. "How far into that tub of Ben and Jerry's are you, Pete?"

A pause. Tony grins: got him.

"I'm not...It's chocolate Fudge. There's um..." a spoon scrapes again soggy paper, "not much left?"

"No wallowing, rule number two, you know that."

"I know." Peter whines, "but I thought he liked me, maybe he did- you know he said, he was going through something right now, a recent break up, but that maybe someday-"

"It's a brush off." Tony insists, "don't read into anything that isn't there-"

"Maybe he did really just-"

"Okay." Tony says, setting his basket on the conveyer belt and pinching the bridge of his nose. "We need to get you back on the horse. I know a guy who might be into you: Steve. Wholesome, boring sort. Your kind of guy?"

"Well, when you say it like that, how can I resist?"

Tony shakes his head, smiling. "C'mon now, he's handsome. Very American. Tall, blonde, served in the Army for a bit, now he's some sort of do-gooder activist."

"Well that doesn't sound- so bad."

"And the best part? I think he might like you."

"I was beginning to think that was impossible."

Tony hands over his card, snorting. "No pity parties. You're easy on the eyes. Got those big bambi ones, those little freckles, long legs too, considering you're so short. It's nice. It's a good look." He can picture it, actually, those long legs wrapped around his hips. Peter's slender neck, fluffy hair spread out over the pillow- he needs to get laid today. Again. "I'll invite him to dinner, introduce the two of you. How's tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Peter squeals, excited, the sound of an empty ice cream tub being tossed aside. "I haven't got anything to wear."

Tony thinks of Peter's cream skin. Of his honey eyes. "Something tight. Maroon if you have it, anything sheer. Please, for god's sake, not that mustard monstrosity."

"I love that sweater!"

Tony carries his bags out to the car, feels the warm sun beat down on his face. "Oh hey, it's kinda nice out." He realises.

Peter sighs contentedly over the line. "It really is. DJ Ravioli loves it."

Tony stops by his car. Closes his eyes. "Who the fuck," he says, "is DJ Ravioli?"

"It's my cat-"

"Of course," he laughs, getting into the car, turning on the AC. "Of course it is. In every Romcom, what does the main character have? Some ugly ass cat-"

"Hey!"

"And DJ Ravioli! What kind of a name is that?"

"He's such a cutie-wootie, yes you are my little ravioli-cannoli."

"Goodbye, Peter!" Tony yells, hanging up the call.

He can't stop smiling the rest of the way home.

***

Peter's early. That's because he was raised with Ben's if you're not early, you're late mantra, and now he's sitting in a fancy restaurant, fiddling with the tablecloth.

MJ's done his hair. Crimped and weird, but he thinks overall he looks okay. He's taken Tony's tips, in a thin, flouncy maroon shirt tucked into very tight jeans. He better not eat too much. Not sure he could if he wanted to.

"Good evening, Sir," says the waitress, eyes kind, "are you ready to order?"

"Oh um, not just yet," Peter smiles, "I'm waiting for..." he gestures to the two empty seats.

She nods, stepping back.

Oh god, is he being stood up again-

Relief and pleasure seeps through him as Tony appears. He's in a plain black sweater, but he might as well be a model in how it stretches over him. He leans down, pecks Peter's cheek (warm, he's warm, and he smells like cologne) before collapsing into one of the seats and gesturing the waitress over.

"I messed up, Pete," he says, by way of greeting, having a glance through the menu.

Peter blinks, a little dazed. "Huh?"

"Steve. He's not free tonight. I'll reschedule it, I promise."

"Oh." Peter nods, "okay, so-"

"It's just us two tonight, that alright? You can bear my company?" Tony wiggles his eyebrows, and Peter laughs. His nerves leave him, he can relax now.

"I think I can just about tolerate it. How's Pepper?"

Tony winces.

Peter laughs.

***

Tony, for all his playboy moves, is such a gentlemen, Peter thinks. He'd picked up the whole bill, hadn't given Peter a chance to offer half.

And now Peter's full of lobster, warm and sated, and Tony is a warm line of heat against his back as he unlocks his front door.

"Mm, it's cozy," Tony hums into his ear, as they shuffle inside and Peter closes the door, sleepy and a little- excited. To have Tony here, in his apartment, late at night- "Oh, there he is. Little monster."

And to Peter's surprise, Tony leans down and scoops DJ Ravioli into his arms. The fat cat barely protests, using the new position to stretch his spine.

Peter grins, can't help, it and takes a photo on his phone.

Tony glares at him.

"What?" He giggles, "I thought you didn't like cats."

"Never said I didn't like 'em," Tony hums, thumb rubbing beneath DJ Ravioli's ears, "just said they're a cliche, that's all. In every love story, there's the damn cat. And it hates the bad guy- scratches them up- and loves the good guy, because somehow, the cat knows who you're meant to be with."

Peter lifts his eyebrows. "Well, DJ Ravioli likes you."

"Guess I must be the good guy." Tony quips, rolling his eyes. He takes his own phone out then, arranging himself for a selfie. He'll send it to his mom. The cat blinks lazily at the camera.

Just as Tony takes the picture, Peter slides into frame, stretching onto his tiptoes, finger's bunny ears behind Tony's head.

Tony shoves him playfully. "You're a photo crasher, Peter Parker. A photo bomber. A fiend. A nightmare." He sets the cat down, watches his waddle away. "And you're overfeeding that cat."

Peter flips him the bird then, and is rewarded with Tony's loud bark of laughter.

They drink coffee, Tony judges the way Peter organises his kitchen, and then at 2am, Peter pouts and says:

"These jeans are really tight. Do you mind if I change?"

Tony sips his coffee, side-eyes him. "Don't try to seduce me, Parker."

Peter snorts, grateful to shuffle into his bedroom and peel the jeans off him. He pulls on his Hello Kitty Sweat Pants and an oversized science tee, feeling immeasurably more comfortable. He pulls on his fluffiest socks, feels a little bad he can't offer Tony something to wear. They'd all be too tight.

He presents himself with a twirl. "Seduction at it's finest." He teases, and Tony looks him over; something warm and soft in his gaze that makes Peter blush.

"It's not bad." Tony murmurs, turning back to his coffee cup.  "Well, it's-" he clears his throat, "late, Pete. I should go."

Peter wiggles his toes in his socks, wants to crawl into bed. "Okay. Thanks for dinner."

"Thanks for..." Tony looks around, chuckles. "Having me. You should come by tomorrow. See how the other, better half lives."

Peter walks him to the door. Tony stoops down to rub a knuckle along DJ Raviol's back. The tail wraps around his wrist. Tony disentangles himself gently. "Around 6?"

Tony beams at him. "Perfect."

***

When Peter wakes up in the morning, everything becomes clear.

Tony likes him.

He tries not to get swept away in the realisation of it. Tries to be rational, to follow the points.

1) Tony had given Peter his number and taken Peter's.

2) Tony calls him. They talk all night, sometimes. Tony's left dates, make-out sessions, to talk to Peter.

3) The mysterious 'Steve' that never showed up. Or perhaps, never existed at all.

Peter scribbles these into his notebook. Could it be? Tony's so...handsome. Clever. Funny. Why would he be into- but no-

Tony thinks he's handsome. Said so himself. Said Peter had bambi eyes (a pet name- that's a sign, Peter writes it down) and long legs. Said he looked nice in maroon.

They're saved under cute nicknames in each other's phone. DJ Ravioli likes Tony! And there's Tony eyes- something warm and soft that Peter sees from time to time.

And the fact that Tony saved him from being stood up. It's a perfect meet-cute.

Peter squeals. Tony's invited him over tonight. Never pressured him into sex- it must be something.

He spins on the kitchen stool and dreams of happily ever after.

***

The radio plays as they wash the dishes. Tony washes, Peter dries. Their hips bump.

It's nice, Tony thinks, as they hum along. His penthouse- big, empty, most of the times- except when he's having parties loud enough to upset the neighbours, but even those- they don't compare to this quiet company of Peter Parker.

Peter screeches as he hits a high note, so Tony turns the faucet on him, laughing as Peter splutters, slapping him with the rag.

Tony doesn't want to point out he he has dishwasher. He likes this.

Once they're done, he collapses onto the couch, watches as Peter ambles around before coming to stand in front of him. He looks thoughtful. He's wearing that gross mustard sweater that Tony kinda likes now, if only for the way it makes Peter looks soft and cuddly.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks, trying to read Peter's mind. He's good at reading people, great at reading Peter, but not tonight. He can't quite gauge it.

Then Peter, in his ugly sweater, beautiful, with a grace Tony suspected but didn't know Peter possessed- straddles him on the couch, and kisses him.

Tony feels those long legs, spread wide over his own knees, feels the heat of Peter's core, those lily hands against his cheeks, that soft, soft mouth against his own.

He moans appreciatively, opening his mouth, taking control. His own hands coming to wrap around Peter's waist and-

"I knew it," Peter whispers, pleased as punch against his cheek, "we're in love."

Tony splutters, a cold wash of water against the pleasing heat that was working it's way down his body. "We're- what-" he pushes Peter away a little, from where those teeth were nipping his ear.

Peter sits back, still fucking straddling him, still looking as innocent as a wall-flower, one hand still poisoned above Tony's denim-clad dick. "We're in love," Peter repeats, beaming. "We're dating."

Tony scoffs, erection wilting. "Well, gee, Pete, was I ever gonna know about any of this? In what universe are we dating?"

"We-" Peter frowns, swallowing hard. "I- you liked me? The signs-"

"What signs?!" Tony fumes, pressure mounting, pushing on his chest. "Jesus Christ, Pete." He pushes Peter off him, gets to his feet. "What the fuck?"

"I..." Peter sits, mussed, on the couch, staring up at him. "You- you took my number. You call me, S-Steve didn't show up- you- you- we talk all night, we made dinner, we washed up- you came over- I thought-"

"What did I say? What did I say?" Tony hisses, raking his hands through his hair. "If a guy is into you, Peter, he will ask you out. Or you ask him out. Did I ask you out?"

Peter eyes are swimming with tears. He looks flushed with humiliation and great, now Tony's a massive jerk. "N-no."

"Peter." Tony can't look at him, turns and bangs his head against the wall. "Why- why do people do this? Read into nothing. There is nothing between us but friendship. And now..." he whirls back to Peter accusingly. "Now you've ruined our friendship. You look for all these tiny, insignificant moments. I gave you my number because I wanted to help you, Steve genuinely couldn't make the day, I invited you over here because we're friends. I've never made a move on you, never asked you out, and you've never asked me out. You know, you know I don't do relationships. Why? Why do people think that they're the exception? You're not the exception, Pete, you're not gonna change me. You're the rule, and the rule is: if I liked you, I would've asked you out. But I didn't, so I don't."

He has to catch his breath once he's done. Peter's still sitting there, eyes watering- but not crying. The air is tense. Thick.

"God, Pete," Tony says gently, "I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but- no. We're not in a relationship. We're not dating. I'm not into you."

They're mean. Cruel words. But they're true. Tony's a straight-forward, up-front kind of guy. He turns to his kitchen, pours himself a drink. Fuck, what a night.

"I don't want to be like you." Comes the quiet voice from the living room.

Tony sets down the brandy, whirls towards Peter with a scoff. "Excuse me?"

Peter looks up at him, still red-faced, but brave. "I don't want to be like you. Going around, using people. Never finding love, never looking for it. Never getting- excited at a smile, or wondering what your life with someone might be like. I like hoping. I like dreaming and meet-cutes, and big, unrealistic romantic gestures, I like that."

Tony sneers, shaking his head. "Fine. I'll be over here, living in the real world."

Peter gets to his feet, grabs his bag, wipes his face. "You do that, Tony, you live all alone in the real world. You won't find any happiness like that."

"At least I won't get rejected twice a week!" Tony yells, as Peter heads for the door.

Peter turns back, hand on the door knob, angry. "I'd rather get rejected knowing that it means I'm closer to my happily ever after. I'll take rejection after rejection, Tony."

"Well done," Tony claps, "this is another one to add to your dossier."

The door slams and Tony's alone and there's no one to yell at so he throws his glass of brandy across the kitchen. The stupid sturdy glass doesn't even break, the liquid just drips down onto the tile and he'll have to clean it up later.

*

It's been three days.

Surely Peter's still not angry with him after three days. Sure, Tony said some stuff, but it was- heat of the moment. They're friends.

He rubs his temples, puts down the paper work- can't read the words. He needs to sign off on payrolls, order more stock, sort out the overtime policy-

He takes out his phone. No messages. No calls.

The door opens, and Pepper walks in, professional, the last dredges of her anger with him mostly gone. "Hey Tony, a few more for you to sign." She sets down the papers.

"Thanks," he mutters. No DMs on twitter. Nothing on instagram. He opens Facebook.

"Oh my god."

Tony looks up, startled at Pepper's expression of delight. "What?" He asks, eyes flicking down- nothing on Facebook. Email, maybe?

"Who are they?"

"Who are who?"

"The special someone." She laughs, eyes bright with disbelief. "Who's got you checking your phone obsessively, wondering when they'll call."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tony says, putting his phone away. "You may go."

"You haven't been able to concentrate all day," she muses, perching on the edge of his desk, perfectly comfortable. He misses the days she couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. "You put Javier on dishes and Rebecca at the bar- rookie error. You keep asking if anyone's called the bar for you- you haven't shaved. And is that the same shirt as yesterday-"

"No." Tony says emphatically, self-conscious and sweaty, "just go. Please."

Pepper gets to her feet, laughs again. "The world of love. Welcome to it, asshole."

When she's gone, Tony sits there. Fingers itching for his phone.

"Shit." He mutters to himself.

***

He sends Peter a message. A text. He says: Pete, I'm sorry about what happened. Can we talk? Brunch, maybe? I want us to be friends.

He doesn't get an answer.

He wants to hurl his phone against the wall in frustration. What the fuck.

He paces relentlessly. Keeps his phone charged.

Peter posts on instagram, it's a photo of DJ Ravioli asleep in a sunbeam, with the caption another nice, sunny day

What does that mean? Tony had said to Peter once that it was a nice day- is this a reference to that? A secret meaning? Should he like the photo? Should he not?

He finds himself driving past Peter's apartment late at night. Sometimes the lights are on. Sometimes they're not.

Tony wonders if he's eating ice cream. If he's in those stupid pyjamas. If Jameson liked the latest revisions. Wonders if he's petting the cat.

Wonders if he's thinking about Tony.

His phone buzzes, and he nearly drops it in his haste to check it.

It's from his mom.

Sorry, got a new phone, didn't see this till just now- what a cutie! Is he yours? (I don't mean the cat), you look so happy, sweetheart. Also, are you eating enough? Your dad says hi!

Tony clicks on it. Sees the photo he sent her. Captured mid-laughter, Tony is beaming, face turned to Peter, who's gorgeous, beaming, lovely-

Tony looks at his own expression. Has he ever looked at someone like that before? The way he's looking at Peter in this photo?

He does look happy. He looks...home.

*

"-ey Tony. Is this recording? Hey Tony, it's Steve! I just wanted to let you know I ran into Peter- your Peter- at the flower garden in Harlem today. How crazy is that? Must be fate. He's amazing, you're a matchmaker. We've got a date tonight- I'll let you know how it goes!"

Tony listens to the message three times. A voice mail, of course, because Steve might as well be from the 1940s.

There's a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. What does that mean? That the very person Tony thought Peter would get on with is the one he bumped into in Harlem? In a flower garden. Peter was probably surrounded by foxgloves, ridiculously beautiful in his dandelion cardigan, streaks of suncream still on his face.

Maybe Steve had come up to him, said that Peter was a more beautiful view than the flowers. Steve is gross like that.

And Peter probably- probably liked it. Thought Steve was handsome, because Steve is. Probably blushed the way he blushes whenever someone compliments him, like he never received enough. The amount he deserved. Probably said something lame like "you're not so bad yourself."

He wonders how Peter reacted when Steve brought Tony up, brought up their link. Their almost.

Did he ask about Tony? Steve's message hadn't said anything- so Peter obviously hadn't said anything bad. That must mean something.

Going out tonight. Peter's going out tonight.

Tony doesn't want Peter to go out tonight. He wants to lie in Peter with bed, with that fat cat, and watch TV and talk and order Chinese. Wants to kiss Peter- wants to-

"Oh," he whispers, fingers shaking, he presses his hands together. This is love. He's in love. With Peter. He's been in love with Peter since-

He remembers the sight of him at the bar. Beautiful. Sweet. Idealistic like Tony couldn't believe and-

Goddamn it. Tony's loved him the moment he first laid eyes on him.

And he's fucked it all up.

***

He sees Steve on the way up. He hides behind a plant, peeks out behind leaves. Steve is whistling, smiling, pleased. Okay, well, so, they had a good date- but Peter didn't let him in for a nightcap. That must mean something.

Tony hurries upstairs, heart pounding. He knocks on the door of Peter's apartment, tries to control his hair and-

"Oh good, you forgot your coat!" Comes Peter's voice, pleased, and the door opens and-

It's Peter.

He's in Steve's coat. It's draped over his shoulders. There's stardust in his eyes, he's wearing chinos and a hideous flannel shirt and-

"Peter." Tony breathes, wants to kiss him. Wants to pull that coat off him and burn it.

Peter stands firm in the door. Doesn't move to let him in. His face closes off. "What are you doing here, Tony?"

"I can't sleep," he blurts, aware of the wreck he must look. "Can't eat. Can't think straight. I keep- driving past this place, wondering if you're up, what you're doing, if you're thinking about me. I keep- wanting to call. To find any excuse to- I keep replaying all our- moments, I'm- I'm becoming-"

"Me." Peter finishes, he looks up at Tony with his huge eyes.

"Bambi," Tony whispers, and Peter flinches away, shaking his head.

"Tony, I just...I just went on a date with Steve-"

"I know." He whispers. Hating himself already. He's left it too late. Should've come sooner, should've realised earlier.

"And I think he- he actually likes me, Tony. He doesn't see love like it's a game, he calls when he says he'll call and he's not scared of relationships-"

"I'm not scared anymore." Tony whispers, taking another step forward, "I can be yours-"

"But you didn't want to be!" Peter cries, shaking his head. Pain etched across his face, and Tony remembers his words. How cruel, how wrong he was. "I threw myself at you, and you didn't want me-"

"I was wrong. I was wrong, Pete, and you were right. About everything. I didn't- I'm so used to doing the same thing, of keeping people at arms length, that when I actually fell-" the words choke in his throat, "-in love- I didn't- I didn't know. I didn't realise."

Peter stares at him, closes his eyes. There's a long beat of silence. "Tony," he whispers, composing himself, "a wise Yoda once told me that if someone wants to date you, they'll make it happen. That I'm the rule, not the-"

He can't take it. Not another moment. Not another unbearable second of Peter thinking that Tony doesn't want him-

So, he kisses him.

It's awkward, and desperate, and then- gentle. He cradles Peter's face in his hands, kisses him long, and slow and endless. Tries to pour all the love, and the hope and the fire he's been carrying for Peter since the moment he saw him.

When they pull apart, Tony doesn't step back. Stays close. Hopeful. Pleading.

Peter's eyes flutter open, like a prince in a fairytale, like the leading star in a romance. "I'm the exception," he whispers, hands on Tony's chest.

Tony's heart thunders with truth. "You are my exception." He breathes, pulling Peter and his gorgeous smile in for another kiss. His hands push Steve's coat from off his shoulders, he steps on it for good measure, and he swallows Peter's laughter, nearly trips over DJ Ravioli, and kicks the door shut behind them.

*

They spend the next day in bed, watching tv, and they order Chinese food.

Peter checks his work emails, and Tony reaches over and kisses him like he can't help it. Peter laughs, kissing back for a moment, before pulling away. "Am I that irresistible?" He teases.

Tony looks up at him from his side of the bed, eyes earnest. "Yes." He says solemnly. "You are."

"Does that mean I get the last spring roll?"

Tony winces. "I already gave it to the cat."

"Oh well," Peter sighs, collapsing into Tony's arms, tossing the phone away. "You'll just have to make it up to me somehow."

Tony starts to pepper him with kisses. Hands slip under Peter's shirt. "I can do that. I can do that every day for the rest of our lives."

Peter hums, vibrating with glee, "and is this the first day of Happily Ever After?"

"Baby," Tony grins, brushing the cat hair from Peter's forehead, and kissing him again, and again, "I think it just might be."

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft, Hazlan Arc, part 1

"Killing's not working and murders all we’re good at!" "I’m good at lots of…" "And murders all we’re good at."

"Chipmunk droppings, I just got this nice cloak and my daggers enchanted. This stinks like a badger who hasn't bathed in months."

“I can do horrible. But, sure, whatever.” "I'm sure there are easier ways to get a harem for yourself, that don't come with as many strings attached."

"Wrong head. This one is much more swelled."

"Let's hope if we ignore it then it will do the same and then bugger off." “We def gonna have to kill it by end of day.” "Worse, I'd hate for us to agitate it and it turn out to be some sort of.... delivery head..." “It’s what I’d use for messages if I was a forked up Wizard.”

"You don't intimidate me." He says, clearly intimidated.

“If it makes you feel better, now I only have to roll one body into the ditch.”

"We've no quarrel with you. Stand aside, or barter like...and he ran off..."

"There we go. Nice and non-violent." “You mispronounced 'boring'.”

"I'm going to keep a look out in case someone competent tries to ambush us."

“Besides, I’m like… a free lance peacekeeping agent. For certain definitions of peace. And keeping. And all the other words really.”

"Okay, just what is that, an ogre, a hill giant, or something else?" “Can I kill this one?”

"A silver piece says Tiny is as likely to attack them as us."

"Unfortunately we were testing a modified growth potion one day and I drew the short straw."

"I figured as much. You're ill equipped, your tactics are amateurish, and you don't respond well when things don't go your way. Screams desperate with few options." "You don't have to rub it in man." “You tried to rob us. Twice. And we didn’t kill you. Even though I kinda want to.”

“I dunno, the one with horns is screaming that he’s got some cool shit we can steal.” "I am Nima Galzona, Necromancer, and apprentice to the great Hazlik." “Jonni Humantorch, genie fucker.”

"I'm...not comfortable riding inside a giant mouth. Bad experience with a dire mole once."

"Do necromancers just lose the ability to smell? Or they just get so used to the scent of decay that it doesn't bother them any more?"

"So anyone else get the feeling that 'murders' is going to be a drastic understatement about what's wrong here? I don't get the impression that a crime spree merits wizard attention."

Today however the streets are strangely sparse, as you head to where the caravan usually sets up, you find out why. “Please be fire, please be fire, please…”

Death to all witches and workers of magic, repent and pray the gods show thee mercy, for I have none. --The Witchfinder. “Oh, sweet! Someone they’ll give me money to set on fire!”

“I don’t use magic. The universe just knows I’m awesome.”

"Oh boy... shits about to get political." Jonni stops and puts the torches she was gonna start selling back.

At this point Nima turns around and unleashes a massive skull shaped fireball into the air high above the crowd. “Nice add on. 9/10.”

“Which remind me, if you cast speak with dead, and speak with plants, can you talk to chairs?”

"I threatened to pick you up like an angry poodle once, am not afraid to do it again."

"I'll go along, someone needs to make sure Jonni doesn't set stuff on fire we need intact."

"I wonder what kind of experiment it must have been to have so many people..." "I can guarantee you won't like the answer." OOC: Let's be optimistic. Maybe it was an experiment in self-sustainable farming to improve the local ecosystem. OOC: Narrator: it was not.

"Why can't we ever go anywhere nice? I can vaguely remember nice places used to exist somewhere at some point."

"Okay, who broke the moon?" OOC: Who knows in this savage land of sorcery and super science. "Wait, he can break a moon! Umm, we should avoid him for a long, long time." "This is his domain after all. That or some race of lunatic ratmen who thought it was made of Ruminating Rock."

Just a single row of normal sized bricks, about ankle height. "Its a trap, get an axe."

“Marsh, we can make you a new hand, right?”

“Shove it in.....Are we still saying 'phrasing'?”

"Goggles on, things are weird." “Here weird or 'coke party in the City of Brass' weird?”

"You know how I was wondering about why we never go anywhere nice? Well now we are somewhere nice and I don't trust it at all."

“Hey, so what are you doing after work?” Pause. "I do not have that information." “Well, this is Hell, let’s burn it down. Burn it all down!”

"Hold on, I speak attraction." (POSTER'S NOTE: As in theme park, not sex.)

"That information is classified. Please give administrator passcode." "A Wizard did it." "Passcode accepted." "I can't believe that worked." “My second guess was ‘ruminating powder.’”

"Yeah.. The others seem to be currently living-impaired.." “Let’s check my newest victim first then.”

“Hey, slim! Look alive! I wanna discuss mass burial techniques!”

"Talk! Fast! Or steam loud!”

"It is wrong to murder a defenseless mage in cold blood. It is wrong to murder a defenseless mage in cold blood. It is wrong to..."

OOC: Marshal is of the opinion we don't kill him for a long time.

OOC: So what this session has taught us is like everywhere else in Ravenloft, The Weird Wizard Wasteland SUCKS!

Gorbash: okay… so… how do we finally get out of here? Domain lord: Only the Dark Powers could let you out. Edmund: So we need to talk to them. Domain Lord: Literally no one ever has. You’d have to cause a catastrophic amount of attention to maybe get their attention. Jonni: …. My hour has come at last. "Time to kill a monster. And it is self-defense if he summons a monster intent on murdering us." “Sure. Let’s go with that.” "Hi, if you are watching this. I am dead. I assume you killed me, but that was a mistake..." "It really wasn't." "Must run faster. Must run faster. Not getting caught in another dimensional implosion. Must run faster." Escape collapsing grad thesis, first! “Yeah, let’s let Marsh calm him down while we check to see if that loser left anything interesting out here." You find a very interesting ant. The tiny, angry sun is back in the sky. "Don't make eye contact..." "That’s my purse! I don’t know you!” Jonni somehow kicks the sun in the balls. "Beware! We have fortified waffles! They can concuss at 50 paces." “Crab people. Or more fucked up Wizard experiments. 50/50 odds.” OOC: Doctors without Domain Borders. "We only want the food and clothes." "And we just want shinies.” "Money is no use to us, no one would take it from us." “Oh, you just gotta know how to talk to them. Grab em by the short and hairies first.” "As said, my waffles are well fortified. They can be used as throwing stones." "And as a professional, I would advise not swimming five hours after eating one." "Really Jonni, I don't mind the way you speak.. but it might not hurt to try to limit the goading to people who CAN'T wipe us from existence?" “Killing me only proves I was right.” “Hey, we were bonding over our opinion on casual murder!” OOC: Her two diametrically opposed sides! Her evil side! And her indifferent side! "We never truly die, this will avail you nothing." “Yeah? I bet kinda dying still hurts like a mother forker though.” OOC: Slab of iron with which I have lived, strike now one last heart of dickery… “Sorry not sorry we killed your folks!”

[chidoroki]

Emma - 63194

So, it’s August 22nd, otherwise known as the best day of the month because we get to celebrate Emma's birthday! I feel like she doesn't get enough credit, especially as a shōnen protagonist, probably because she's just a normal kid compared to others with overwhelming powers/magic/quirks/etc, but I think that just makes her feats all the more interesting and amazing. So, here I am, ready to praise the hell out of everything she's done, what she's capable of, and who she is on her special day.

(spoilers for the entirety of The Promised Neverland, so if you haven't read/completed the manga yet, consider this your first warning, because I'm literally going from start to finish with this.)

This is gonna be one hell of a long post, so here we go.

- She's one of the smartest kids at Grace Field, alongside Norman and Ray, who all get full scores on the house's daily tests, which is by no means a simple task.

- This is thanks to her ability to learn things quickly, which she puts to the absolute best use throughout the entire story.

- She's undoubtedly the most athletic out of the full-score trio, as she can pull off a leap like this with no issue!

- I gotta give her voice actor credit here because her scream at the end of EP1 is simply fantastic.

- She noticed the windows in the house were screwed shut, which reinforced the idea that the kids were merely raised like cattle. (Ray was also aware of this, of course.)

- Suspects the use of tracking devices. (The anime had Norman voicing this realization, so whoever you want to give the credit for this is up to you.)

- Believe me when I say that her acting skills are top-notch.

- She's so good that she was able to control her emotions enough and even regulated her pulse to fool Isabella.

- This! Just all of this. Her crazy ideals, her never-give-up mentality, her ability to stay optimistic and strong despite everything they're up against.. just amazing.

- She always thinks of her family first. (she honestly rarely cries too, now that I think about it.)

- By using what she overheard from the demons at the gate and the “blood tests” Isabella once told her about, Emma was able to figure out where the tracking devices were located on her own. (Yeah, Ray knew of this too, but he kept that info to himself.)

- She then created a situation that allowed her to confirm this and that yes, Isabella is indeed always checking their trackers.

- It was Emma's idea to train the other children by playing tag. Not only did this help them during the escape, but afterwards as well.

- Takes advantage of every opportunity to learn. (also, the strength she has!)

- Amazing learning ability x2 (I'm aware the manga says 10 instead, but still! I bet she could memorize 100 too!)

- She believes in everyone and makes Norman realize that no one in their family is truly bad and that leaving anyone behind, even the “traitor,” could cost them their life.

- She called Ray out on his bluff about him actually being willing to help everyone escape.

- Then confronted Ray about the possibility of him experimenting on the tracking devices of their siblings, thus resulting in their early shipments, which is something Norman didn't even realize, if his surprised expression is anything to go by. (Emma scolds him and hides her anger well, though she only stays mad for like, a minute.)

- She, along with Gilda, notice Isabella disappear every night after 8pm, leading them to assume the house might contain a secret room. They eventually pinpoint where it's located. (Ray suspects such a room must have existed, but wasn't certain.)

- Introduces the boys to William Minerva's books and the morse code bookplates they held, which the trio all know how to decode and understand. (I know Phil pointed them out to her originally and manga Ray was also aware of them, surprise, but..) the hunch she had about the two special books being important guides for them turned out to be true later on after the escape.

- Accepts her mistakes and is quick to apologize when she's wrong.

- Thank you anime for giving us these wonderful lines.

- Has her leg broken and yet she doesn't shed one damn tear. (the horrific sound still haunts me.) Ah, might as well also mention this now, but her theme, 63194, is one of the best songs on the soundtrack.

- Once again caring about others more than herself, as she was ready to destroy her leg/foot even more if it allowed Norman a chance to escape.

- This absolutely amazing moment right here! Easily one of the best panels of her by far!

- Used what she heard from Krone and spent two months hiding her emotions and plans from Isabella. Learning ability & best actress x10.

- Isabella actually believes this. Seriously, someone give Emma an award. Best actress x50.

- Do y'all know how strong physically, mentally and emotionally this girl must be to cut off her own ear? I know she was in a rush to escape while Isabella was busy with the fire, like she literally had about ten seconds (anime) to remove her tracker, but damn! Not once does she ever cry over it either. May I remind you she's only 11!

- Stops Ray's suicide attempt by catching the match, thus burning her palms.

- It was her idea to let the other kids know of the escape, which helped in proceeding with the preparations behind Isabella's back.

- I love Ray x fire jokes as much as the next person, but we all know who the real pyro is. More props to her voice actor again for the scream that follows!

- Successfully carried out Norman's plan and escaped Grace Field with 14 other children.

(post-season one spoilers beyond this point)

- Keeps her cool in dangerous situations, which helps calm down the younger children. Also fairly knowledgeable of the books from Grace Field's library, such as “The Adventures of Ugo,” which came in handy in the demon forest.

- Remains positive and completely hopeful after learning the truth about the demon world they're living in from Sonju.

- It only took three days for her to become proficient enough in archery in order to hunt successfully. She apparently also knows how to use a harpoon (ch49) (but I don't think we ever see that, sadly). Learning ability x20.

- She also didn't panic when she was held at gunpoint. She stayed reasonably calm and forced her way free instead.

- Didn't even flinch when Yuugo's bullet grazed her cheek.

- Can she just get a round of applause, please?

- Emma is just so fearless. Gun to the head? Knife in her face? Doesn't matter. She'll threaten you right back.

- Kudos to her learning ability yet again x50.

- Her quick reflexes and accuracy are phenomenal.

- Of course, cue the talk-no-jutsu skills that every shonen protagonist is undoubtedly skilled with.

- Even Lewis knows at a first glance that our girl is good. Takes a lot to receive praise from this demon.

- Offers herself up as bait to lure the poachers away from the other children.

- Literally cares for anyone, as she helped countless kids she didn't even know during her first hunt at Goldy Pond by keeping them safe.

- Thanks again to her knowledge of the “The Adventures of Ugo” novel, she was able to locate the memory chip for the pen that contains information about Minerva's supporters, the paths to cross over to the human world, Goldy Pond, The Seven Walls and Project Lambda 7214.

- The damn skill she has in handling guns in the matter of two weeks is astonishing.. and she's still only 11.

- Informed the Goldy Pond kids on how to accurately aim for the demon’s center eye, which greatly helped them take out the poacher Nouma.

- She has the audacity to taunt Lewis right back and I love her for it. She also offered to stay behind in order stall Lewis on her own, despite knowing he's the most dangerous of the poachers.

- When the talk-no-jutsu towards the crazy demon fails, she summons a wide array of guns against him, because why the hell not, right?

- She once admitted that she was no good at reading an opponent's moves, but after watching many people in her life who are skilled in such a way (Norman, Ray, Isabella, Krone) and thanks to the knowledge she recently leanred about Goldy Pond, she manages to catch Lewis off guard and electrocute him. Her level of adaptability is wonderful. Learning ability x100.

- Can we all just take a moment to obsess over Emma's Goldy Pond outfit because it is fucking fantastic! She just looks so damn good! (I owe Demizu my life for this.)

- Actually manages to get Yuugo to call her by her real name after he was so adamant to no learn them or get attached to the kids.

- This bright smile adds five years onto my life.

- She’s the first to notice the disadvantage demons have with regeneration, which ultimately leads to their winning strategy against Lewis.

- She somehow survives this. (plot-armor, I know, but goddamn!)

- Now presenting, the exact moment I fell in love with Emma, because holy fucking shit! Not only does she survive getting stabbed like that, but she gets back up and continues fighting! Can I get a big ol' HELL YEAH!!

- She busts out the pistol with the trick shots she's kept hidden this entire time until the very right moment, effectively taking Lewis by surprise and granting Yuugo a clear shot to his middle eye as the demon stands defenseless against the shower of bullets.

- Emma's influence over everyone else is so powerful. We see it many times throughout the story, but because of her, they all accept that the impossible is possible, everyone is worth saving, and to never give up. This is especially amazing to witness in scenarios with Ray, since Krone once said that his weakness was that he's "a little quick to give up. He makes a decision fast but abandons other just as quickly."

- Because of everyone's assistance, they were able to destroy Gold Pond and rescue over 60+ kids, which probably wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Emma presence at the hunting ground in the first place.

- Not to discredit Ray, because I'm sure he did a fine job of cauterizing Emma's wounds, but she did survive a day and a half with a low blood count. (She was unconscious, sure, but her body didn't give up either.)

- Finally wakes up from her coma a month later and the first thing she's concerned with is the safety of everyone else.

- I swear, this girl has a heart of gold, but we knew that already.

- Doesn't let her missing ear hinder her at all, just adjusts how it would function normally in her daily life.

- Memorized the many maps found in the shelter's reference room alongside her siblings. Learning ability x125.

- She's capable of taking out three wild demons in the matter of seconds. Accuracy and speed on point still on point.

(Ah post-timeskip, just a little over halfway done now.) - Will not hesitate to jump in and save someone, regardless of the danger to herself.

- No 13 year-old should have this amount of pressure on their shoulders, but I'll be damned, she handles this and so much more well.

- She pushes aside her own anxieties over losing the shelter, those two boys and possibly Yuugo and Lucas and decides to lift the spirits of everyone else instead.

- Y'all see this demon? Do you think she cares? Not one bit! All that matters is her family's safety and she'll do anything to preserve that. We stan one reckless girl.

- Doesn't cry over the deaths of Yuugo and Lucas (at least, I don't think she does? She appears more frustrated here than upset.)

- She can pick up on how others are feeling, even if they're trying to hide it. (also does so several times to Norman (ch30, 128,153) and even to Yuugo (ch64))

- Is the first to volunteer to sneak into the mass production farm guarded by demons in order to retrieve the medicine Chris needs.

- Honey, how are you not screaming for you life right now?

- Official translation has Hayato saying “The Boss is saying he wants to meet you,” but I feel like this unofficial one here conveys the exchange between Emma and Oliver better. Their large family has children who are older and more experienced as a leader than Emma, but they all choose to follow her.

- Just a casual reminder of how strong our girl is. (She even beats out Ray and Don in terms of strength too.)

- I probably only find this impressive because I love my sleep, but she wakes up at 6 in the morning. Always. Without fail. For thirteen years. Then panics the one time she actually oversleeps.

- She knows every life is precious, no matter who or what they are. Also doesn’t want to follow Norman's civil war plan, which is good, because damn that's a bit extreme. Doing so would only create more fear and hatred.

- Say it louder.

- LOUDER!

- Agrees to go and find out more about The Seven Walls in hopes to stop Norman's plan, despite the many risks. Can she really arrive at TSW? What's actually there? Could she even make a new promise? Will she be able to return afterwards? There's a bunch of unknowns, but that won't stop her. (“Simple?” “It is simple.” That line kills me every time.)

- TSW proved to be very mentally exhausting but she and Ray did survive all the craziness they faced while trapped there.

- Due to her unique way of thinking, she managed to remain sane and was able to figure out how TSW worked, which is something even Ray couldn't quite comprehend.

- Because of that, she was then able to finally meet the bastard demon god.

- Thus allowing her to..successfully.. make a new promise. (Ahhh)

- Best actress x500 (damn damn damn!)

- Honestly, have they practiced this before or is her athleticism just that superior? Either way, she never fails to surprise me.

- Isn't afraid to speak the truth and put one of her best friends in their place.

- But manages to (somehow) forgive him, after his plan successfully killed the queen, the demon royals and poisoned the capital city, which forced the nearby demons to degenerate.

- Her optimism knows no bounds.

- She & everyone else were able to infiltrate Grace Field which is not only guarded by demons but the Ratri clan as well.

- Just how? I know your athletic but wow!

- The woman who shipped out so many of Emma's siblings and broke her leg now holds a gun to her face and yet our girl doesn't look panicked in the slightest. Girl, how are you so brave?! Holy shit. There's no fear in those eyes, only anger.

- AND she ends up forgiving her! After learning Isabella betrayed Peter and realizing that all the mothers and sisters are also fighting for their freedom, Emma gladly accepts Isabella's assistance. (Best mother daughter moment I've ever seen.)

- The entire talk-no-jutsu she pulls on Peter in ch172. She's angry, even downright hates the Ratri, but she refuses to get revenge for all the trouble they've caused to her family and friends by killing Peter. She admits the clan's actions can never be forgiven, but she still shows sympathy because she knows they were also suffering due to the world and roles they were born into.

- We find out that Emma worded the promise perfectly which allows every human raised as food to cross over into the human world. Truly thinking of everyone as per usual.

- She kept her promise to Phil and came back for him and the rest of the children she had originally left behind at Grace Field.

- Again, showing no hesitation to save someone she barely knows, even when unarmed.

- Pretty sure I was in literal tears at this point of the chapter, so kudos to her for making me bawl my eyes out. Aahh, she's just so forgiving and her heart is so big.

- Best actress x9999 (*screaming internally*)

- SHE LITERALLY SACRIFICES HER OWN HAPPINESS SO EVERYONE IMPORTANT TO HER CAN LIVE IN PEACE AND BE HAPPY!!

- She loves her family so deeply that even without her memories, her heart still remembers them. (it makes me cry too, hun, it's okay.)

- She has a heart literally made of solid gold. Of course she can't refuse the bastard's reward, but still accepts it with a smile on her face knowing that all humans and demons, of the present and future, can now live freely without any fear. She completely ended the tragedy that persisted the last 1,000+ years and changed the world like she set out to do back in ch4. Sweetheart please, you're anything but selfish.

- She has the most precious family on the planet. Her influence was so strong that they searched endlessly for two years just to see her again, by never giving up or doubting her words back in ch178. They're beyond happy when they do finally find her and are a bunch of sweethearts who accept her no matter what.

- Ahh, I just really love Emma okay? She's honestly one of the few protagonists I actually enjoy. Happy Birthday again to this all-around amazing girl and I can't wait to see her in action in future anime seasons!!

(congrats, you've made it to the end. i apologize if i missed any other moment worth mentioning, but yeah, i think this is enough for now.)

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 30.10.20 lb

lol ishani is suchhhhhhhhh a messy bitch. not even pretending to look less than outright gleeful.

le, iska rona shuru. god sis, you knowwwwwww these bitches have it out for you, then why do you give them the satisfaction of seeing this reaction???

yeh aadmi hai ya bhagwaan? koi bhi jagaah koi bhi time marzi se prakat ho jaata hai.

THAT FUCKING STUPIDASS SCARF IS RUINING THE WHOLEEEEEE LOOOK. GOD WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO HIM?????????

TUMNE JITNE TELLYWOOD FANS KO KHOOOON KE AANSOON RULAAYE HAINNNNA SHIRALI, BHAGWAN TUMHE IN PAAPON KE LIYE KABHI NAHI MAAF KAREGA!!!!!!!!!!

also, just noticed the set and production design credits and finally have names to put on all the hate mail i wanna send.

naaaah jk, i think it's really nice that they got employment in this pandemic, even with their OBVIOUS lack of taste. so much so, that it seems to be a medical condition! 

anyway, he said he got this sargi for ishani on behalf of angre, but since she's got hers anyway, this one can be given to riddhima. noice. this fucker be worming his way into my heart with shit like this.

inka phir se popat bann gaya.

mummy biting out and giving the worst blessing of all, “sadaa suhaagan raho.” which is just an elaborate way of saying "hope you die before your husband does, because life without a man is worse than death itself!!!!!!"

“thank you mummyji. aapne ~~sachchi neeyat~~~ se sargi taiyyar kii thi toh dekhiye, mere haath khaali nahi hain!”

lmao nice. where was this riddhima allllll along?????? i've been waitinggggg for this snarky bitchhhhh who doesn't take shit!!!!!

le, aadarsh bahu mode is back on. sab ke liye koi paath ka intezaam kiya. chanchal chachi was right, she's suchhhhh a annoying suck-up to dadi, honestly.

husband is like here, no one's looking; sneak some almonds, come on. yes, i approve. this the kinda man* you want ladies. one who's willing to have a few hours taken off his lifespan so you don't get hangry.

(*T&C strictly apply: only in this feeding waala criteria wrt this dude. baaki sab toh disaster hi disaster hai iss mein.)

“kaisi baat kar rahe ho??? vrat sachchi nishtha se kii jati hai. koi nahi dekh raha par bhagwaan dekh rahe hain!”

lmao, the most appropriate response. 

wait you guys genuinely need a gif of this moment, coz it’s priceless:

i can't believe they don't let this dude move his face in this show when he is the MOST ENTERTAINING when he doessssss.

he's like dude i'll adjust with the 2 hours less in my life, but dharampatni is i won’t let you escape a minute of suffering existence in this flesh prison we’re all trapped in, so help me god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who the fuckkkkkkkkk is this????? and you know you didn't need a needle on the syringe for this whole thing, don't you???

vansh's "baaz ki nazar" toh i've long given up on, but riddhima's peripheral vision also seems to be completely shit if she didn't notice a wholeass person wrapped in all black skulking around directly in her eyeline, not 10 feet away.

lmaooooooo dadi is like tf you doing here, and the hasty retreat he beat. scaryass men soft for their sweet old grandmas is a trend i really do love in tellywood.

oh i like ishani's outfit.

blah blah blah KC gyaan idgaf.

riddhima has lit diya and instant cough attack from the smoke.

it's her. she's the one who did this. looks like she's okay with bhai dying a few days earlier than fated, as long as it means she knocks riddhima down a few pegs.

mummy rubbing it in saying dekho yeh akhand paath hai, beech mein rukna nahi chahiye, apshagun hota hai. godddddddddddddd.

I HONESTLY CANNOT WATCH HER COUGH AND CHOKE THROUGH THIS THE SHEER RIDICULOUSNESS OF THIS IS FUCKING KILLING MEEEEEEEEE

yeh lo ji, parmeshwar prakat ho gaye to save the day and read the paath himself.

all dudes in the world should be in whatever business this guy and angre are in. ki biwi mil gayi toh it manages itself while he devotes himself to her.

lmao the sheer earnestness with which he's narrating the KC paath. both wholesome and fucking hilarious. looks like those primary school kids at their first public speaking contest.

i am ishani. god, why won't this scene just endddddddd already, i'm dying of cringe.

whoooooooooooops. bhai is pointedly asking ki how riddhima's throat got messed up when she was fine like 3 min ago.

behen is giving earnesttttttt excuses and he's really "sure jan"-ing her.

dadi's all no matter what issues crop up in these two's lives, i'm sure they'll win over it with their lurrrrrrrrrrrrrrve. yeah, it looks that way rn, but i wouldn't be quite so optimistic yet, dadi.

literally no one is surprised by this revelation.

oh god, she has something more planned. man who are these ppl with so much energy in their lives WHILE PREGNANT, to do such scheming and plotting??????? just my period cramps have me taking 2 hours off work to curl up on my heat pad and cry about ouchieeeeeee.

great. ragini ko ab daure pad rahein hain.

and poor angre is saddled with getting her treatment. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THESE TROUBLESOME WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE VANSH?!?!?! EK ADIYAL BEHEN ISKE SAR PE BAANDH DI HAI WOH KAAFI NAHI THA, KI AB INVALID EX KO BHI ISKE HI HAATH MEIN THAMAA DIYA. i know you got your hands full with that disaster wife of yours, but come on man.

oh god is he gonna blow up at her again for eavesdropping!?!!?!?!?

thank the lord above, she had airpods in. (also lmao, ofc she's literally the airpods meme.)

isn't HE supposed to give HER a gift today???

i liked his other watch better. but this watch is supposedly riddhima “ke dil ki dhadkano se judi hai” so........ i'm no expert in cutting edge watch technology, so sure. sounds like something that would be available for the wives of billionaire gangster’s wives to buy.

oh man she got herself a matching one. which ofc is “tumhare dil ki dhadkano se judi hai.” lord, she CHEESY CHEESYYYYYYYYYYYY. and i'm mildly lactose intolerant, so 🤢🤢🤢

this dude is not though. he falling for this hard and fast. which is....... unexpected. nice, but also suspicious.

“yeh ghadiyaan chahe rahein naa rahein riddhima, lekin tum mere dil mein hamesha rahogi.”

that's sweet. and i'd believe and squee over it if this was any other show. i would. but in this show, literally everyone other than dadi/siya is out to fuck each other over and i don't trust a single goddamn word out their hissy snake mouths.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand ofc he's vrat-ing for her too. BECAUSE THIS IS A FEMINIST SHOW WITH THIS VERY FEMINIST HERO OK?!!!!!!?!?!!!!?!? THIS ONE EPISODE ABSOLVES ALLLLLLLLLLLL THE OTHER 98 EPISODES FILLED WITH HOT FLAMING TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!!

“apni umar badhaake kya karoonga main, agar tum saath nahi ho. main chahta hoon ki tum meri zindagi ki aakhri saans tak mere saath raho.”

again, very very sweet and all, esp. with these soft melty eyes; but it's this show. and we saw the upcoming promo. sooooooooo, kill bill sirens in my head, i'm afraid.

both mann hi mann mein deciding to tell each other the truth about their backstories after the vrat. which should work out splendidlyyyyyyy.

lo ji dream sequence shuru. voot blocked the music but colors put up the scene with bol na halke halke on instaTV so i watched it there.

yesssssssssss you messy trainwrecks. get it onnnnnnnnnn.

this is literally alllll i am watching this show for. the moment y'all bang in canon, i'm outttttttttttt. it's always the best time to quit a tellywood show. always. take this protip from wise, old TT. quit the show the episode the lead couples fuck. just trust me on this.

idk WHOSE dream sequence this is, but lmao it's got the vibes of a not-that-great wedding "promo" thing ppl have got going on these days. which one of y'all is binging these on youtube and thus has their subconscious filled with it/??? it's gotta be riddhima, but it would be absolutely fucking hilariousssssss if it was in fact, vansh.

yup. it was her dumb ass. i bet she had the exact video in mind for kabir and just cut-copy-pasted vansh's face in there from the last week onwards.

oh chachi's back from maayka for vrat kholing.

mans literally do be looking like the chand today. because they eased up on his yellow foundation, thank god.

poor ishani. god, this is why we need feminism. so our sisters don't get pushed into shit like this against their willllllllllllllllll.

dadi and siya shipping riansh to the point of making ppl uncomfortable. what next, you gonna be writing mature fanfic about them on IF????? BACK THE FUCK OFF, YOU WEIRDOS.

“humaare plans kamyaab hote toh vansh iss waqt riddhima ko zeher ki pyaali pilaa raha hota. hmph.”

lmaoooooooooooooooo mummy is an eternalllllllll mood.

this one is getting overly emotional about her first completed karwachauth vrat. eat a snickers, bitch.

dadi overpromising and saying shit like evennnnnnnnn god himself can't shake your love for each other, tumhari prem kahaani billlkulllll pooori hogi and what not. oh dadi, did YOU not see the promo?????

this one got the footage she needed and has duly handed it over to bhai. both of vansh's sisters have the trait for going straightttttt to him with their sordid discoveries, albeit for completely polar reasons.

lmaoooooo the way she peaced out.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand he's started growling about how all this KC naatak was fake and and vowing revenge and games for her dhokaaaaaaaaaa. i hate to say it but............ i told you so.

also abbe oh gobar ganesh. itna CCTV footage mila hai kahin se, toh baaki ka bhi toh dhoond, where you see how she got into the bloody dickey?!?!???! nahi, 2 out-of-context second hi dekh ke paagal saand ki taraah bekaabu ho jaana hai. shit for brains, literally everyone in this show has.

anyway, if i was vansh’s murti maker, i’d be expecting a call righhhhhht about now. riddhima yahaan rahe na rahe, uski murti zaroor rahegi, which vansh and his next paramour will demolish together as a bonding/foreplay exercise.​

[embrythecall]

a twilight tag game, you say?

pick 5-10 characters and write your take on the canon version of them vs. fanon version of them. fanon doesn’t have to be what is generally accepted in the fandom, it can be your own idea of what you think a character is like. then tag the same number of people as characters you pick, if you can.

I was tagged by @teamjacobthot -- thank you so much! I’m excited to get into this :) 

EMBRY 

(obviously because i adore him with my whole soul) 

Canon:

chill aka probably just shy let’s be real here

likes to bet on things? 

seems to have the most common sense

Fanon:

HERE WE GO, EVERYBODY *cracks knuckles*

def the smartest one out of him, jake and quil. 

an observer. definitely a people watcher. he reads the VIBEZ

very, super, ultra, mega sarcastic. almost cynical. I feel like he’s probably a realist in a lot of situations rather than either an optimist or a pessimist. probably leans a little more towards pessimism though 

refuses to learn about his dad (though, I personally believe it’s Joshua Uley, but that’s a long headcanon for another day unless someone specifically wants to know my thoughts on it more haha)

a super romantic without knowing he’s a romantic? 

real tight with his mom-- they’ve only ever had each other since old daddio has been out of the picture the entire time and she’s probably never really dated (once again, i have more thoughts on that too but you know, i digress)

also i SUPER headcanon that he almost ALWAYS only refers to her as, “Ma,” unless it is a serious situation in which he uses ‘mother’ but i do NOT feel like he is a ‘mom’ person. at least for his own mother. 

honestly these are just all my own headcanon i have no idea what people think about him :S 

for me, i think him and Jacob are closer than Quil is to either of them. In my mind, when embry’s mom Tiffany first got to town, she became really good friends with Sarah Black and thus, Jacob and Embry have kind of been friends since birth, quil only coming in a little later maybe and just not having the same kind of friendship that embry and jake have

I think him and Leah secretly get each other. Like they don’t talk much or anything, but Embry never makes comments to or about her and doesn’t participate in the guys being absolute jerks to her. 

also, he just guzzles that respect women juice. like, he was raised solely by his mother so like... he was taught to respect women and also i think this makes him more empathetic to other people which is why he wouldn’t be mean to leah or say mean things about her because he’d understand to a level and might even see pieces of his own mother in her because they both were screwed over by men and he never EVER wants to be that to anybody ever

probably plays guitar but NEVER shows anybody 

usually the but of a joke between jake and quil. 

also the decider in arguments between jake and quil

i have a zillion more but i’ll quit while i’m ahead

also

is a slut for muffins

QUIL ATEARA V

Canon:

he thinks he’s a ladies man (thinks) 

more outgoing?

likes hanging out with friends 

took his cousin to prom 

Fanon:

so, so, so funny as in a total dork with a lot of unearned confidence

book smart but NOT street smart

prefers name brand foods over generic because it just ‘has that extra something something’ and also, class

loves to debate with jacob. he always ends up taking it somehow more seriously than jacob does. 

i actually do not know why nobody talks about quil i feel like he’s super underrated and actually hilarious.

@teamjacobthot‘s one of this tag game mentioned he was a soundcloud rapper and i think i DIED so imma also go with that and second you there

very particular about how things are done 

a lover of the puns

toy story is his favorite childhood film, and he announces it as so. 

LEAH CLEARWATER

Canon:

angry and bitter 

thinks nothing more than of sam 

hates vampires 

sassy

Fanon:

i absolutely LOVE practically every fanon i’ve ever seen of leah in the fandom like...ever. they are all so amazing and i actually just want tons and tons of fanfictions about all of them

Ngl, i really am a big AngelaxLeah fan

BUT 

I PERSONALLY hc that leah gets fed up with being in the pack and she feels like there’s really nothing there for her. She ends up leaving la puzb to go off and explore the world-- she wants to see it and experience more than just the memories and the life that surrounds her in la push. she travels all over and often does so in wolf form when she can. I HC she imprints there-- on a real nice super cool lady from some other country. (this is another thing i could go on for days about, i will write a fanfic about it one day. ONE DAY i shall PREVAIL!) 

Honestly, i really do like Leah as she was canon. I think that it was the way everybody acted around her that i would change and i feel like the fandom as a whole agrees on that 

like yeah, Leah is a badass bitch with a great sense of humor. she’s witty and sarcastic and smart and wise and i just love her to pieces. everyone else just needs to wise up and be nicer

JACOB 

Canon:

super supportive and kind and loving and understanding and THEN smeyer swooped in and DESTROYED MY BOY. 

like, don’t even get me STARTED on my feelings about what she did to her OWN CHARACTER 

i mean really

smeyer straight up didn’t know what to do with him so she did... all of THAT. it makes me want to wheep.

Fanon:

the fanons out there on Jacob are just... they are SO WONDERFUL and give me SO MUCH JOY 

i’ve heard him being a mechanic obviously, i’ve heard about the HILARIOUS details of his friendship with like, alice and rosalie and emmett like... that shit is so funny i live for it 

i could read jacob fanons all day

i guess personally, i just love to bits. he’s super patient. very funny but also is really understanding and can (and loves) to get into deep discussions about stuff and listen to other people’s passions and share his own. 

purposefully pushes quil’s buttons so he can get a rise out of him because he LOVES their dumb bickering and enjoys a good debate 

is also almost always right in those debates 

quil probably won like... twice in all of history and it was based on some kind of weird trivia fact he learned in a biology class or something lol

i bet that when the time came he had kids (not with you-know-who obviously cause just...no), he’d be SUCH a great dad and he’d be SUPER hands-on with them, like always taking them places and teaching them how to do various stuff

and if one of his kids was really into something he didn’t know how to do, you KNOW his ass is up on youtube all night long learning how to do it so he can spend THAT MUCH MORE TIME with his kids 

oh he’s just so sweet love him to pieces 

RENESMESS

...I had to do this but i have a good reason:

Canon:

exists

Fanon:

absolutely does NOT exist

who?

the only ONLY acknowledgement i will give her is i read a fanon somewhere about how she HATES her name. like she is downright royally not okay with it and when she gets older and has to go to school for eternity with her family (weird. seriously so weird but i’m pushing through this) she decides to announce that she is only going by this other name (personally i feel like it’s Carlie because it’s still her middle name and jfd;akfsd but also because it’s A NORMAL NAME) and so she is never called renesmee again because that is straight up a monster name and even her nickname is a monster so like, ugh. 

also, i REFUSE to believe that Jacob imprinted on her, okay? if she has to exist, he did NOT imprint on her and they can be buds or something but just... no. (i have so many issues with imprinting guys, i should just sit down and write a long post about it but the ENERGY and it isn’t like it’s not all things that have been said before. it’s more what I’d fix about it so it could still exist but not be a legit code word for grooming and an excuse for blatant p*d* grossness because that’s all it is and i HATE THAT) 

so I don’t talk to anyone in the fandom really because i don’t really know how to start conversations like... at all. I really WANT to talk to people but I’m a chicken and i have a hard time, BUT, i really admire so many of the blogs on here and i LOVE so much of their content. Off the top of my head, i shall tag: 

@chiefjacob @911esme @jacobblackredemptionblog @embrycallsmuffin @leahclearwaterdefensesquad AND anyone else who wishes to do this! it was so much fun! I say do it! and if you’ve already done it, i just tip my hat to you for being an awesome blog :) 

seriously! tag me when you do it, i want to see your answers!! 

[purplesurveys]

1165

survey by xxbieberburnham

A - Accidents

Have you ever been in a car accident? Very minor ones that only caused small dents, and nothing that wrecked either car or put someone in the hospital entirely.

Do you have a lot of scars? I have some, not a lot.

Have you been in a fist fight with someone? Nope.

Have you ever seriously hurt someone by accident? I remember striking my ex in the face accidentally while we were horsing around. She was wearing glasses at the time so she ended up getting a cut in the area in between her eyes.

Have you ever had stitches? No and like I always say, I hope I’ll never need to get them.

B - Beauty

Would consider yourself beautiful? Not beautiful, but I will feel pretty on some days. Not always, though.

Are you self consicous of how you look? These days not so much, because I don’t even get to go out in the first place and there’s been little need to fix myself up most days unless I’ll get on a video call for work. I don’t get self-conscious around my family either.

Do you wear a lot of make up? I never wear makeup.

Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Nope. I considered having my breasts done when I was a teenager, but the thought literally never crosses my mind anymore.

What do you think makes a person beautiful? Physically, I think it differs per person. More than that, it’s the things they do when no one is looking.

C - Consequences

What is the longest you've been grounded for? Maybe around a year? Due to issues at home and, honestly, poor parental skills on my mom’s end, I ended up being a rebellious problem child and wasn’t the easiest to temper or raise.

What would you do if you became pregnant? Keep it and try to seek support from family and friends.

Do you ever think about how your actions affect people? Always a people pleaser, y’all. Of course I do.

What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? I guess anything that involves taking away basic essentials, like cutting off access to food and water.

What is one thing you wish you didn't do because it wasn't worth it? Stayed in a relationship that I knew was going to end at some point. She always made it clear she’d end it one day and I was just too afraid of confrontation to face it sooner (and too stubborn to handle the truth).

D - Dealing

When you're mad at someone how do you show it? Cold shoulder.

Name a time when you had to be strong. The week of my grandfather’s death, wake, and cremation was on the same week of my entrance examinations for several universities, including the two toughest ones. I had already been in the headspace to just focus on the exams and shut out everything else for the meantime then the death happened, so my life turned into a rollercoaster of emotions quickly. I ended up entertaining relatives and fervently going through my review modules at the wake.  

Have you ever dealt with divorce? Well I’ve never been married and I also live in a country where divorce is illegal, so no.

When people don't accept you, how do you react? It will definitely affect my self-esteem to an extent. I imagine being bothered by it.

Have you ever lost someone to death? Yes. Just yesterday I found out one of grand uncles did from Covid. We are very close with that side of the family, so I am still in shock and have yet to process it.

F - Family

Is there anyone in your family you don't talk to? I barely talk to one of my uncles and only do so when we greet each other at family gatherings. Still, I haven’t looked him in the eye for years now.

If you had to choose: friends or family? Probably my friends.

Do you have any siblings? Yes.

How often do you spend quality time with your family? Pretty regularly now with Covid still on the loose. We have dinner together every night, then after that we usually hang out in the living room doing our own thing. Also breakfast on weekends.

G - Growing

How tall are you? Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I’m around 5′1″. I’m fine with this height.

Do you think you've grown up in the past year? So much. I think my surveys show that too.

Do you think you're mature for your age or still childish? I want to say I’ve matured in some ways, but I don’t think I’m fully there yet. For one, I’m still scared to learn how to cook lol and I can’t even light up a match.

Are you scared to think that one day you'll turn 30, then 40 & 50? Sometimes I’ll get in those moods because it makes me realize how fast life is and how quickly people turn old. But I hate getting stressed and mulling over things I can’t control, so I also immediately return to the present and just enjoy where I am now.

Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? I’m barely in my mid-20s, so I know that for a fact.

H - Hope

Love - real or not? I want to say it’s still real. Some people just get lucky early, I guess.

Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Realist.

Do you believe in fate or that everything happens for a reason? I believe whatever things that happen are consequences of, or are at least linked to, what’s happened in the past – wherever that falls under.

Do you believe that after we die, your spirit is still alive? I don’t believe in spirits, so no.

What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? My next paycheck. Hahahaha

I - Idols

Who is your idol? I don’t have any.

What makes this person an idol to you?

Has this person done anything good to help other people?

Does this person have good style?

What does this person do for a living?

J - Jokes

Tell me an inside joke between you and your friends. “Packs a punch” is one of mine and Angela’s long-standing inside jokes. I think I’ve shared this story before, but basically in one lunch break in high school I was tasting this juice that one of our friends brought; I remarked that it “packs a punch” which no 16 year old Filipino student uses in a casual setting, so it quickly became a hit in our circle and now Angela brings it back semi-regularly to tease me.

Are you usually the person to make people laugh or the other way around? It’s mostly the other way around but occasionally I’ll be able to blurt out a joke that ends up working well.

Do you cry when you laugh hard? Haha yes. That’s the best kind of laugh.

Do you get in trouble for laughing or talking in class? Almost never. I hated causing trouble, and if I was ever called out in class it was always a classmate talking to me that I was just too shy to ask to keep quiet.

Are you good at making jokes? Depends on the person. I hold back if necessary.

K - Knowledge

The prupose of school: learn, hang with friends or cause trouble? Learn and gain new experiences, then gain friends.

Do people refer to you as dumb, smart or average? I dunno, you’ll have to ask them.

What kind of grades do you usually get? I mostly bummed around in high school just because I didn’t think grades from that early on in life wouldn’t matter in the long run, but I still did well enough to pass all my classes. I exerted a lot more effort in college since that’s when educational backgrounds start to matter, and got even better results from there.

What is your favorite subject to learn or talk about? History.

L - Love

Are you currently in love? Nope.

Do people around you show a lot of love? The people in my life who’ve chosen to stay, yes.

Is love worth it? Not always, but yes, mostly.

Do you hate it when people say "I love you" & they've been dating for a day? It might confuse me a bit since I personally don’t take that phrase lightly; but I wouldn’t be one to judge.

Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone or is it just a word? Like I said, it takes a lot for me to be able to say it. The two times I dated my ex she was always the one who ended up saying it first.

M - Money

Do you believe money makes the world go round? Yes, and that it can buy happiness.

How much money do you have on you now? I’ve been using paper money less and less frequently now, actually. I’m all cashless these days, so my wallet is literally all out of bills and the coins there are probably just piled-up centavos I’ll never use.

Are you saving up for anything? My birthday treat. I already somewhat failed lolol - I got BTS coffees, Ivy Park shoes, and four boxes of wings just this week, but I told myself I am no longer touching my bank account until it’s time to pre-order food for my birthday.

Would you rather win 1 million dollars or find true love? Give me the million dollars. 50 million pesos would last me like ten lifetimes.

On a scale 1-10, how important is money to you? 10.

N - Nothing to lose

Would you ever go on a game show? If it’s a game show I enjoy watching, like Jeopardy or Family Feud. I might not be interested  if it’s anything else I’m not too familiar with.

Do you play the lottery? Never.

Ever been to Las Vegas? Nope.

Have you ever made a bet and then lost? Nah, I don’t really make real bets; I just use the saying with my friends but we never follow through with real money.

Do you give your all in a relationship? To a fault.

O - Openess

How long does it take you to open up with someone? It depends on how long it takes for me to be comfortable with them...some people can seem standoffish, so I’d be wary about opening up about my life to them out of shyness and uncertainty if they’d be down for such a conversation. Then others can be rays of sunshine who are very easy to talk to.

What does it take for you to fully trust someone? If they’ve proven to be reliable in crises. I’ve always said I’m more of a follower than a leader, so if I see that someone’s capable of handling any sort of issue that I can’t find a way out of, I will find it a lot easier to start trusting them.

Do you trust people too easily? Probably.

Are you comfortable with everyone? Definitely not. I like keeping my circle small.

Do you tell your parents and friends everything? Just my friends.

P - Positive

Is your outlook on life positive or negative? I like to keep it positive but still grounded to reality at the end of the day. I don’t wanna drag myself down with my mindset, but I also don’t want to give myself exuberantly high expectations.

Have you ever had a moment with someone & it didn't end positively? I’ve had very few negative one-off experiences with some strangers, but yes, they’ve happened.

Do you agree with: best to have loved than never loved at all? As negative as my experience turned out to be, I still think it’s better to experience love. I grew up in a lot of ways and also learned new things about myself because I loved.

Do you see most things as negative or positive? Idk, depends on how they realistically look like.

Has anything bad happened but something good came from it? Yes.

Q - Questions

When faced with a problem, do you solve it on your own or ask for help? Ask for help.

Do you like to take quizzes? Maybe not quizzes but surveys.

If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? When he plans to stop being a disgusting misogynist pig. And also if he has an actual Covid response action plan because I am not seeing anything fucking moving in the last year.

When someone does something wrong do you ask them about it or let it go? Depends on how close I am with them, or how attached I am to the issue.

Do you own plaid shorts? Not shorts but skirt, since I had to wear a school uniform in my old school and our school skirt was plaid.

R - Respect

How do you show respect for someone? I talk nicely about them, even (and especially) behind their backs. I also refuse to act or talk like a superior around them.

What can someone do to lose respect for them? If their stances on politics and certain advocacies are questionable; if I see them treating any employee under any industry shittily; and if they excessively badmouth people behind their backs.

Do you respect your parents, teachers or authority? Yeah. I’m afraid of getting into trouble and being reprimanded, and I always like looking good in superiors’ eyes so I’ve always been a bit of a goody two shoes.

If you're disrespectful to your parents, whats your punishment? I’m 23, have a full-time job, and give them a portion of my salary twice a month so they know they can’t really do anything about it anymore lmao. I’ve definitely noticed they’ve cut back on sermons directed to me. The most that can happen these days is that I would get a mild scolding, but that’s it.

If someone is mean to you, are you mean back? Of course, but I do it very passive-aggressively. I want to make sure I get the last laugh.

S - School

If you're still in school, what grade will you be going into? Not in school anymore and no plans to apply for a postgraduate course any time soon.

When will you graduate high school/college? I graduated high school in 2016, college in 2020.

After high school, what do you plan on doing? I went straight to college, as is the common practice here.

Do you like or hate school? I honestly enjoyed it for the most part; the only thing I really had a problem with was the demanding schedule and workload – back in college, I frequently had classes at 7 or 8:30 AM (which required me to start driving by 5 or 6 AM) and then I had extracurricular activities that would end at 10 PM at the very latest; meaning I was usually in my university for 17 hours every weekday. 

The upside to all of this is that I got to attend my dream school and was surrounded with my close friends, so despite the taxing schedule I have little to no complaints about my college experience, even in retrospect.

Have you ever been expelled or suspended? Never.

T - Temptation

Have you ever done something wrong but inside it was okay? Sure, I’ve definitely had my sneaky moments. Some of them I felt guilty doing and decided I’d never repeat, like cheating on a test; some of them I felt like needed to be a part of my youth years to enjoy life a little bit more and so I was ok doing them, like skipping classes to go see my girlfriend at the time or hang out at a bar with friends.

Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? I never like using the word pressured because my friends were nothing but. They did invite me to try out drinking and smoking, but they never forced me to do anything I was uncomfortable with. My decisions were always mine to make at the end of the day.

Did you ever cheat on someone? Never.

Do you give into temptation easily or are you independent? I think I’m a good balance of it? like I will say I’m influenced easily, but I still have the self-restraint to refuse things I’m adamant about avoiding.

U - Unique

Do you do a lot of things because your friends are? That’s the case sometimes, but not for all.

Do you follow trends or do whatever you want? Again, I can be both. It’s nice to like things that can be my own thing, and it can also feel cool to follow trends because it’s easier to relate to others who are into the same things.

Do you give in easily to peer pressure? No.

What makes you different from people your age? I dunno if there is anything that sets me apart. You’d have to ask other people.

V - Value

What's the most expensive thing in your room? Right now, probably the laptop I was given by my employer for work. I never use it though because my laptop works just fine, and I’m already used to how my own laptop works like and feels like; I have little time to get accustomed to a new laptop, given how hectic my work schedule is. It’s also an older MacBook Pro model, so I don’t want to use it even more than it’s already been used by past employees. I had to sign some contract that basically tells me I have to pay for it if I ever do some damage to it, and the current value is a little above P50,000.

What's more valuable: your life or the ones around you? Others’. But I’m also slowly learning to value my own as well.

What's something you value? Not because it’s expensive but it means a lot? Handwritten letters and notes from friends. Ever since I got a corkboard for Christmas last year I’ve been saving up the ones I’ve received and putting them up on the board; I hope to one day fill it up.

If there was a fire in your house/apartment what would you grab? Kimi. Someone else in the family is in charge of Cooper.

Do you think the past or future is more valuable? I think the present is, actually.

W - Wishes

If you had three wishes, what would they be? A sushi platter, a box of macarons, and my bank account replenished hahaha.

Would you rather wish yourself to be happy or others? Again, others’.

Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe? Sure, but you also have to do something about them if you really want them to come true. Things won’t always come your way.

Have you ever had a wish come true? Yes.

Do you find wishing on things to be a waste of time? Not really; it makes me feel hopeful and gives me a reason to keep doing the things I’m doing.

Y - You

Are you more independent or social? Social. I love being around people. But I also like recharging by myself.

What's something that makes you mad when you see it? Animal abuse, more than anything.

Do you have potential to do anything you want? I hope so.

Do you believe people are born a certain way? No.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown.

Z - Zest

Are you currently happy with your life? I could be doing more if the pandemic wasn’t around, to be honest. But given how much has happened and what I’ve been through, I’m still happy with what I have for now.

When change occurs, do you get scared? Yeah, I’m very resistant to change and I try to avoid or outright deny it as much as possible. I know it’s a problem point of mine that I have to fix.

Do you like to try new things or meet new people? Try new things, yes always. Meet new people, not all the time.

What is the most motivational thing on earth? Money.

Do you have a motto? Nope.

Last questions

Do you hate how the letters on the keyboard aren't in ABC order? No, I’ve long been used to the QWERTY order and never found myself complaining about it either at any point.

Do you drink water? ...What?

What did you have for breakfast? I skipped it today, but this morning I did have a box of these chocolate Korean snacks that was part of the ~care package~ she had sent over to my house last Thursday.

Do you like convertibles? They’re cool. I don’t need to have one of them, but they look nice.

Do you like the American or British way of spelling words? I don’t have a preference in the sense that I dislike one of these, but I tend to follow American spelling.

What colors are on your country's flag? Blue, red, white, and yellow.

Can you skateboard? Nope, I haven’t even tried getting on one.

Do you like long hair? Sure, but not too long.

Do you like Fiber One bars? I’ve never tried them but judging from the name I doubt they would be favorites of mine.

What does your sleeping bag look like? I never need to use a sleeping bag, so I don’t have one.

Do you like to save your results after a survey? Yep, which is why I opened a Tumblr for it.

Do you like Sour Patch Kids? Just some flavors. I leave the other ones because I find them too sour for my liking.

If you could have your own show, what would it be about? Fooooooooooood triiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.

Ever rode on a jet? Not yet.

[wthelvetica21]

TLT : Long Time Friends

the Synopsis

Rated : T for some coarse language and mentions of nudity, hazing, and alcohol abuse

The Living Tombstone fanfic loosely based on the song of the same name. It’s a story of a man having a quarter life crisis who has recently been developing a drinking problem after a long string of bad luck. Made worse by his roommate from hell that he’s known since high school whom he considers a “long time friend”.

All he wanted to do was sleep all day to get this hangover over and done with. He’s had enough of the excuses from his boss to get on him for. Recently he was given a warning of firing all because someone at High May’s Jr decided to post a picture of him buck naked after the 5th or 7th drink (or at least he thinks so). What made it worse was the fact that there is a poorly done almost homemade tattoo on his left buttocks of what looks like a tombstone with head phones. While yes, he did have another set of better quality tattoos on his shoulder blades of two haves of a tombstone with headphones but he assumed the only reason he got in trouble was because it was made public. Also the fact he was streaking at a bar and if what a mutual friend says is true, in the parking lot as well before blacking out. As a spokesperson for an energy drink company he was told to hold a certain image in order to keep his job. But that statement is rich coming from his boss who he had spotted multiple times there too. He murmurs “I swear that bad tattoo was because I lost a bet that night… ugh”

Another Little Abuse Another Pointless Excuse

Without warning, he felt someone grab him by the back of his neck. Before he could even react, he could hear “Surprise walking dead man!”. He was then shoved face first into something white with black dots that he couldn’t make out, he felt it violently pull at his eye brows and broke his nose upon impact. He rolled around hollering and grunting trying to get what was glued to his face off but to no avail. He opened his eyes and could see his “friend” whom he had known since high school snickering at him. “Hey now you don’t have to worry about wearing that stupid ass helmet you were bitching about. It ain’t exact but it would work.” Part of him wanted to punch him in the face for pulling something like this. However he just couldn’t because he was still hungover from the night before. And this “friend” was a stout but muscular 6’3” buck in his 30s. While he was just a 6’.11” bean pole in his mid 20s with very little muscle definition along with a developing beer gut who hasn’t really got to where he wanted in life. The strange thing was the room looked darker than usual; almost like wearing sunglasses indoors. The only thing he choked out was “This thing… on my face?”. The “friend” scoffs and shrugs “Don’t know, someone gave me it saying it was ‘the mask of greater understanding’ or some shit like that.” Even as a semi functional alcoholic he could tell that was a load of bullshit and this is just another pointless excuse for this friend to haze him. If this abuse escalates even further he swore to move out but that’s not even an option because of financial reasons and he’s not sure he can live alone to save his life; not for now at least he thought.

Later he looked in the mirror after his “friend” went off to work: he had a day off. He then noticed what was quite literally glued to his face: it was a matte white skull mask with wide black lenses that reflected light in such a way it made them almost looked like empty sockets. Also their were three semi circular teeth on the mask with the center one completely obscuring his already broken nose.  Then as soon as he blinked, the mask did so as well like it was a second face. Seeing this made him reel back and yell “HOLY SHIT! eck AH.!!” His back hit the bathroom door shut as he stumbles back panting trying to catch his breath. “What the hell even is this thing!?”. Being optimistic, he starts to grow fond of his new accessory (if it could be called that) and talks to himself “This thing couldn’t be that bad could it, I mean it kind of looks badass with the fohawk and sideburns right?”. He sighs and backs away from the mirror murmuring “Don’t fool yourself.”. Later that night, his “friend” gets back from work with some new wine that he got with his last pay check and gave him a glass saying “Truse man?”. He hesitated at first but since it was premium wine he relents with a shrug “Perhaps.” A part of him wanted to throw it back in his so called friend’s face and say no but how could he resist any offer of alcohol. 

Another Joke That's Not to Laugh At

The next morning, he wakes up to take a shower so he could head off to work. He murmurs “Why am I so itchy all the sudden? huh.. Maybe have to wash the sheets again… What a pain in the ass”. He doesn’t notice that his hair is slowly falling off as he scratches his head. Showering with that skull mask is a pain to deal with he admitted to himself because it was almost like wearing glasses but worse. He had to hold his hand to his forehead to keep the water out of the eye holes of the mask. All the sudden, he notices the water is at his ankles. He then looks at his feet and sees that the drain is clogged by a clump of dark brown hair; his hair. “Aw shit.. That better not be what I think that is…” The friend hanged out behind the bathroom door chuckling to himself whispering “Oh shit, this is gonna be lit.” He franticly bolts out of the shower stall towards the sink mirror still dripping wet with a towel around his hips. He then rubs the fog off the mirror and is horrified to see his hair was completely gone, it was now just stubble and stray curls barely clinging to his now bare head and shoulders. He lets out a piercing scream that rang out startling the neighboring tenants of the apartments they live in. He then yells “WHAT THE HELL!? WHY AM I BALD!?”. 

The friend busted open the door with his elbow “Hey man do you ever bother to lock the… Oh ho ho ho holy shit man it actually worked? Wow that’s one hell of a look for you Undead Mr. Clean” He just narrowed his eyes (or at least what now approximates them). “Wha… ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW?! uhh… oh no.” But all the sudden remembered; he has work today too. He groaned in frustration, murmuring curses and other unusual higher pitched noises as his “friend” laughed at his new look. “Hey dude look on the bright side, *snort* now your head is as hairless as your ass now.” Outraged he snaps right back at him “This is really not the time to be joking about this! What the hell did you put in that wine glass last night?”. The “friend” impishly pulled a vile of medicine from his pocket whistling a small tune. He snatched it out of the friend’s hands and looked at the label; he saw the word ‘dactinomycin’ in bold letters. His blood ran cold and was left speechless save some high pitched noises. “This shit has got to be illegal… how the hell did you get this?” he said in a dumbstruck tone. His “friend” just shrugs “My girl got it for me, said my grandma needed it.”. He looks at the “friend” with extreme disgust “Your a special kind of asshole you know that.”. He later gets dressed as his “friend” gave him a new name to go by “Undead Mr. Clean”. He just ignored his so called friend that literally just poisoned him for some kind of messed up joke. 

Another day, feeling like I don't belong

While driving he angrily murmurs “First the mask and now this… None of these ‘jokes’ are funny. (under gritted teeth hunching his back slightly) Not at all.” Work’s going to be hell he just knows it. He had to put his hoodie over his face so no one could even recognize him if they could at all. He was always the odd man out when it came to his work even though he was practically the poster boy for the company. He only had handful of friendly acquaintances there as well that made it semi bearable. He sighed “Make it through the week and meet up with your actual friends this weekend.” Then he mutters under his breath “That’s just great. I know I’ll regret saying it but what could possibly be worse then having a mask glued to my damn face or slipped a cancer drug that made my hair fall out? Seriously what?!” He pauses for a moment and notices that he’s 10 minutes late to work. Then he yells in an indignant tone “Oh GOD, WHAT AM I SAYING?! HAVE I LOST MY FU…ek… hah!?”. He narrowly avoids a curb in his workplace parking lot; he’s lucky he didn’t crash. He already had his driver’s license suspended a year ago because of a DUI after running into a lamp post. This day is going to be a living hell for certain. 

Author’s Note: This sort of takes place within an alternate universe before the events of “Drunk” where Skulldude gets his signature appearance i.e skull mask and bald head. This also based on my crack pot theory that it was just an elaborate cruel joke. He’s not directly named either because it would be awkward.

[tslasvegas]

Episode 3: “UGH just rename Luxor to Loser” - Xavier

Well... that takes care of the Timmy problem... Love Timmy... Just didn’t know how our dynamic would be cus he was runner-up to the last survivor game I played which I won. Hm... Well...

That went well. There's nothing like a live video tribal to get people together. and stephen didn't react too badly. but i know now he won't work with me moving forward

I’m sorry I’m terrible at confessionals... So things are going well, I think we have a decent tribe but it is too soon to tell. I’m not a huge fan of creative challenges, at least from my previous game, I guess we will see how that goes. Most of the guys seem nice, still trying to feel everyone out.`

A 4-2 vote off is interesting. Someone is on the bottom for sure. Also, this next challenge is a creative challenge and when I do these solo I usually do really well. Hopefully I can channel that energy into a win for us here because two tribes are going to tribal. We’ll be down to 17 after this, so I’m not sure if we’d go into a tribe swap yet? Maybe 2 tribes of 8 with one person sitting out? 

Oh hot dang, two tribes are going to tribal next time. Probably going to be us :( now it is time to make alliance chats!

....five seconds later

I suspect that after this double vote out that there will be a tribe swap. I hope I end up with Mo and Jaiden at least.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17NPxKO_TKgqjNqsaWlbmlL0jgU36Aygi/view?usp=drivesdk

I really like this challenge. I feel confident about it but at the same time nervous that 2 tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope my tribe wins this one since I still don't know how the tribe feels about me. Wish me luck guys!

My tribe is not going to win this immunity challenge. Our nightclub is due just hours away and we have little nothing done. I am going to have to scramble soon.....I did nothing to help my tribe with the challenge, so if it is me that goes, I would understand 

....five seconds later

Honestly, I want to keep Jaiden and Mo around because I feel closer with them than anyone else. I want to keep Kailyn around because she seems to make time for challenges. Everyone else I am okay with going home, Ben hasn't really done anything soooooo maybe him? Oof

If we lose, then it's 2/3rds my fault and 1/3 Stephen. We better not be on the chopping block if we do lose. This is a two person Tribe as of now. Bobby Jon and Stephenie.

...five seconds later

UGH just rename Luxor to Loser

Second we lose Ben finally responded to my pm’s..... hm..... alright....

Y’all rlly won with a PowerPoint SKDJDJSKLALALL

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

All that hard work that went into this challenge really paid off! We scored the best and don’t have to attend tribal!! Which is absolutely exciting! Andrew told me he wanted to work together which is rad. Livingston and I want to work together which is radder. And Joey and i want to work together which is raddest. I haven’t spoken too much with Jeff lately even though we talked quite a bit early on. Pat and I speak occasionally. Stephanie and I didn’t really speak at all until recently but we’ve gotten into a good groove the last few days. I’m feeling pretty good about this game so far. I hope there’s no tribal swap or anything right away.

So when I get my chip total I'm gonna update Keegan. He is currently at a soap making class but I want him to know I am serious about working with him in this game and I think this is a good gesture. - keegan has let me know he has 4 chips and is willing to pool them over to me when we have enough so that we can unlock the store. I let him know I am okay with doing the same thing to him, whichever. But yes this is looking HOT for me. - "what's in the store?" | all i can really assume is advantages. we need 10 chips to unlock it. This is very similar to the Unnamed Season but the betting cap gives us more control. At this point, I don't think anyone can mathematically unlock without pooling chips. Keegan and I just need 1 more chip between us. Let's just hope we aren't separated by a swap or some shit. I am hoping for a bit more time on this amazing tribe to get that set up so I have a good idea of what the store holds.

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

We lost again!?!?!?!?!??! I am so surprised? Nah I'm kidding, but I don't care. I don't blame our team for losing because 3/5 of us were panicking because our president could be a cheetoh. I'm voting Stephen tonight, I hope the others follow suit. It SHOULD be simple, but 9 hours is a long time for Survivor; and if he knows it's him then might run around and create some chaos - which would be funny.

Rachael (love her she’s probably who I’m closest with along with DeNara and Kailyn) is not being subtle about the fact that she either has a pre-existing friendship with Ben or is currently aligned with Ben. Because Ben, from my knowledge has not been social with anyone, nor has he been super active and in our alliance chat with Kailyn, Rachael seems uncomfortable with the fact that Ben is said to be the vote and is saying she would prefer someone else to go. But like c’mon you can’t deny he hasn’t been social, and even if I had a friendship with somebody before a game, if they aren’t active I’m voting them out. Also I lied to my tribe a couple times this round because I’m lazy.

UGH. We LOST the challenge!!! And it wasn't even close *grumbles angrily* But it's okay. I'm gonna have to work my pussy out to this entire tribe to make them keep me around! I feel pretty good about this, I believe the target is leaning towards Ben but we'll have to wait and see. I don't think it's possible rn but I'm hoping for a swap soon so I can feel a little more re-energized in this game because my tribe has been super quiet lately... I think people will try to move the vote around so I'm going to use my current lack of employment as an opportunity to make myself stay alive on this tribe lmao

These guys are being super boring and either Jake is dumber than i thought, or shadier than i gave him credit for. Xavier might be trying to play me but regardless its doubtful ill stay. John seems to have the most chance of winning out of these four as hes not overplaying. Kevin hasnt spoken to me since the colin vote and it pisses me off that I might be going home after being one of two people that worked on the challenge when kevin was taken off the chopping block immediately for playing jeopardy. i hate this tribe.

....five seconds later

Johns out, Jake too by the sound of it. Time for plan B, which never works but might as well try. Fake idol time.

Oof well the uhh, “obvious friend group” has picked their target and it just so happens to be the only person I’ve made an actual alliance with :/ Poor DeNara. I really didn’t want to have to vote her off this early if I didn’t have to and then the worst part is she didn’t even hear it from me. Nobody is even mentioning game right now and Rachael is acting legitimately surprised to me when I came to her saying “okay this is an easier vote than I thought”.. even tho Ben claimed he had already talked to her..?? Idk man I must’ve done something wrong along the way but these people LEGITIMATELY don’t talk to me. My instant reaction is leaning towards being bitter but bitterness doesn’t really get me anywhere :/ I feel kinda.. out of it rn emotionally just because of everything else I have going on so if I seem more reserved tonight at tribal than usual, that’s why. I just hope that I’m not still stuck on that damn mountain rolling my dumbass rock back up only to get knocked back down again. I’m remaining optimistic for the future.. let’s keep winning some challenges mmkay

Okay good news, I shouldn't be leaving. But that being said DeNara, you have goT TO PULL. YOURSELF. TOGETHER. She's packing her bags and from my knowledge she's going to be fine tonight. Hopefully it'll be Ben who's going but DeNara giving up like this isn't helPING. 

....five seconds later

Also I am in two alliances which is cool I guess.

Oops....... and now I'm controlling this vote I think :) It feels good. I don't know what my plan is !! I'm lying to everyone. I basically put myself in a position to be the 4th person in both votes and I love it so much. I keep telling ppl I'm an emotional mess and I think I'll milk that because SOMEONE is going to get betrayed tonight... love that for me. Rachael, Nik, and Ben want to vote out DeNara Mo, Kailyn, and DeNara want to vote out Ben And tbh I would prefer Rachael or Nik!! Since neither of those things are happening I guess it's up to me to decide which way I wanna swing... I hate/love myself for this. I think there are good cases for both people to leave, because I think that getting rid of DeNara strengthens bonds I never had with Rachael and co. while getting rid of Ben just makes me their enemy. Honestly I am starting to lean towards getting rid of DeNara for that sole purpose alone. It'll be messy for sure. Ben provides NOTHING to the game right now and I hate the fact that he announced in his intro that he's just here to backstab people... but villains don't win unless they're sitting next to another villain. He's the goat to me and Rachael right now, but pretty homos like me always win xx I might regret this decision down the road but HOPEFULLY whichever side I take will pay me back in protection down the line. I think I have the charm to smooth shit over w Kailyn and Mo but its up for determination. I think that I have the finesse to beat Rachael in a vote, too, but I don't want to put her back up against the wall just yet..... ;) Anyways... I hope this isn't my last confessional. I wasn't having fun until I found my place. Let's get it on.

It is me or Ben tonight. Guess we will find out who...

[andrewguyspeaks-blog]

Purpose Will Live Long After SuperHeroes Die: The Power of Purpose Beyond Black Panther!

The immortal power of purpose in action is undeniably the greatest legacy mankind or better yet, superhero can leave behind. 

Courtesy: Actor Chadwick Boseman(Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times )

Chadwick Boseman dead at 43 and many people are now wondering if there will be a BP2, #blackpanther2. My answer is an emphatic...YOU BET THERE WILL! Even if #WillSmith had to hang up his Fresh Princely  robe and assume the role of #BlackPanther, without a doubt, a BP2 will emerge. I mean...you can LOL, but they may call me or you to play BP2. You just never know. But all jokes aside... The #Creator of all things, including humanity, is far too creative to not have a future plan. The death of #chadwickboseman, a brilliant expression of creativity-in-motion is a shock to the millions who adored his work as a professional screen #actor, #speaker and performer.

Consider this scenario: The Misunderstanding Many Face.

Imagine you ordered a hot Domino's  pizza on a Friday night as you sat with you boys and or gals waiting patiently for the delivery boy to show up with one slice of your pizza missing...Are you kiddin' Me? Where's that deliver guy? I'm calling TONY! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I WANT MY PIZZA BACK! Wow, wow...Andrew! Straighten up, Squash the beef and Pump your breaks...who is...Tony? BRUH...! Are you serious? I thought this was supposed to be a SERIOUS MESSAGE to the fans of Black Panther superhero, Chadwick Boseman, your follower and blog readers? Now, who the heck is Tony for #FCOL...For Crying Out Loud? Are you saying I'm supposed to just let this go, bro? Oh no! I ordered a full pizza and that's what I expected; not some crummy leftover pizza with a missing chunk and the delivery boy goes mute while standing at the door with his stretched out dry crusty palm, and beady eyes staring at me expecting a tip. I DON'T THINK SO! NO TIP FOR YOU! Bro, don’t you think you are overreacting here? Some would say. My response...I DON'T THINK SO!  Playing the devil’s advocate is easier said than done. The fact is, anyone would be upset if that had happened to them,  but can you blame me? I mean, who wouldn't be ticked-off, perplexed, and outraged if their expectations were cut short. 

Follow me on this, if you will. Imagine the millions of fans waiting for the sequel of movie that started an unforgettable movement, but only to be cut short of knowing #BP2 (Black Panther II) may not even be played by Chadwick Boseman. What a shock to the visual senses and the cinematic experience of reliving Boseman on the giant screen...hypothetically speaking. I'm sure you would. It's called human beings, being human because they have the ability to comprehend what it means to experience the defeat of loss. In case you missed the purpose and meaning of the message during the Columbo-TONY "Case of the missing slice..."

The metaphorical pun from the pizza animated story is that the pizza is no longer complete if part is missing. Even it’s only a slice. I get it, Andrew, you say. I...get it, bro.  Maybe you do, but you probably don't. Truth is, some will and some won't. BUT there's still a small chance that the light bulb may turn on for some, and the reality of reading between the lines may kick in speedly after knowing that this conversation goes far deeper than the smell of a hot oven or the taste of a risen crust pizza with your favourite toppings. This is not food for thought. The real message is about life, knowing you are going to die some day, living purposefully, understanding your gift, using your talent to skillfully serve others while making a difference and having a positive impact on the next generation. 

It’s about being passionately alive, savouring the meaningful moments as they come, and being able to stand out from the crowd, while fully aware of who you are in this world.

And you say...Andrew E. Guy...WOW! Eureka! OMG! Holy...God, and not the cow!

Andrew, I see it now. Your message is clearly a wake up call to everyone who don't know their purpose for living and those who think they do, but could be doing the wrong life-assignment and living for the crowd.

This is genius. So let me get this right. If I understand this correctly, you are saying #chadwickboseman represents the missing slice of the pizza and while many are hurting because the world will no longer be the same because of Chadwick Boseman's death, the missing slice and a voice in the black community is irreplaceable. 

The Black Panther star will be forever missed.

There have been many deaths this year. Consequently, none of which are coincidental. In each of these death, include that of #GeorgeFloyed, should cause us to reflect on our role in life. 

This leads me to take stock of all the blessings I currently have despite the difficulties I faced in the earlier part of 2020. This year has shock me to the core. It has been a difficult year for me so far: I lost my dad, and my mom got really sick and was hospitalized for many weeks, but by God's grace she made a full recovery. 

Some may call it Knock-on-wood, but I stand on faith believing that time heals all wounds and I'm still hopeful and optimistic of tomorrow and what's to come. We have lost a lot of significant people this year, and my heart goes out to anyone whom have suffered the loss of loved ones in 2020. 

To the Boseman family, his friends, colleagues, business associates and the millions of fans around the globe, this is not the end, but the beginning of something much greater than we've seen in decades.  

And yes, it's sad and it does hurt to see Chadwick Boseman go but even purpose is time-sensitive. And the quicker we accept that everything happens in its time, the faster will be our recovery from the shackles of old wounds and past traumatic experiences. Time is the master, but the Creator is the regulator.  A piece of earth is gone and many have said, that's too soon. But the reality is that even the sports legends and superheroes of our grown-up and childhood dreams must die and go to their perspective places of rest so that new super heroes can take their rightful place in history. Whether you like it or not, we all have to go one day. Some today, others tomorrow....but all one day!

The #goodnews is that the greater part of our legacy lives on...long after the grave.

#ChadwickBoseman will always be remembered, especially for his unforgettable speech on

"The Power of Purpose."

Boseman’s speech is a clear reminder that the most powerful attribute of mankind is the racialization of knowing our purpose in #thecircleoflife, but there's something even greater than knowing.

Any idea what's greater than having the knowledge of something? I'll tell you. It's living that purpose with such passion that others are motivated and inspired by you, but your Creator gets the glory from everything we do. I call this actively pursuing greatness instead of being chased by mediocrity.  

In closing, many have said that there are two major moments in one’s life: the day you were born and the day you die. 

After pondering these cliches and their temporary meanings, It is clear that there are 3 vitally significant areas of existing: the day when you are granted life. 

I call this the gift of life; next is the day when you take action to unwrap your life-gift, discovery your life-assignment (what you were created to do). I call this living; and finally, the greater part of your life and living is the culmination of being ALIVE.

This I call the day when you become aware of who you are, why you are different and so unique from every other creation that you can never be replicated; that one day you will die; that there's only one of you and once your physical time on earth is over, all there is are memories of what you used to be. It is at this time when the cobwebs disappear, the light bulb turns on, your eyes are opened, and your vision, mission and values become so clear that you abandon every other assignments for the purpose and function you were designed to fulfill before you die. Chadwick,  you are the missing slice of our global pizza that the world has seen and behold, and will never taste again, but will only relive the flavoursome moments you've created from your expressed creativity. Thank you for stopping by.  Rest well my brother. RIP. 

About The Author:

Official Website: www.andrewguyspeaks.com Podcast: https://bit.ly/32AyHCN Books by Andrew: Work Your Words | The Anatomy of The Kingdom

Andrew is a bestselling author, best known for “Work Your Words: Finding Your Pathway To Personal Success. He's the host of the Newly Disruptive Podcast “I’M LISTENING I’M READY” ™, a weekly podcast for people and professionals on the go who wants to make positive changes in their lives, where they “LIVE, WORK, & PLAY!”™ ** Sat. @ 10 AM EST

Andrew is a firm believer that "it's not where you start on the track of life, it's how you run the race of living that matters. Through his engaging talks, he inspires executive staff, municipal and city officials, business men and women, developing professionals, school districts, teachers and students,  to develop a deeper understanding of purpose, strive to find meaning in all you do, develop skills, improve relationships, know who you are in your area of expertise.

[jamielea81]

A Walk in the Park

Chapter 9

Description: When your husband dies in an accident, you try to move on with your life. When the memories of your shared home become too much even after two years, you make a drastic change and move to California. A new career, a new way of life, and an attractive new friend help you move on to find the happiness you need. *This will be a slow burn*

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader Tim OFC x Reader (Tom Welling face claim)

Warnings for this chapter:  Fluff, curse words, and Angst! I’m sorry.

Unbeta’d, so all mistakes are my own. This is purely for fun. Comments and reblogs give me life. Tags are open. Please send me an ask if you would like to be tagged.

Read Chapter 8 here

Saturday ended up being a 16-hour day. The wedding went off almost without a hitch. Just a few drunk groomsmen and an upset mother of the groom due to the drunk groomsmen. It wasn’t an uncommon thing. You always were sure to have a pot of coffee brewing, a few packets of calming tea, and mints on hand for moments like these. Luckily for your team, the bride never caught wind of the drama on the other side of the church.

In between the wedding and reception, Victoria learned all about the drama with Chris that had occurred the last couple of weeks, including your emotional blow up last night. Victoria is a wonderful listener, but not one to offer much advice. She simply told you to let him go. “You have a great new thing with Tim. You should really see where that’s going and fuck Chris.” You raised your brows at her and she promptly slapped your shoulder. “You know I don’t mean like that! But…maybe with Tim?” You then promptly slapped her.

The long day allowed you time to bond with Juliet. You had worked with her a few times, but never more than an hour or two. She spent a lot of the day trying to convince you Colleen wasn’t that bad. But for every positive point she made about Colleen, she also would add in a negative one that left you both in hysterics.

Sunday you slept in. You had tentative plans with Tim, but you were exhausted and your feet hurt. It was heels for most of the day and you were kicking yourself for not switching to flats during the reception like Victoria had. After an early morning potty break where you practically crawled to the bathroom, you sent Tim a text asking if you could meet later because you really needed sleep. He was understanding and asked you to text him when you were more awake.

Tim: Sleep well babe.

Y/N:

Thanks for understanding <3

It was after two in the afternoon by the time you were showered and dressed. You were also starving. You scarfed down a full can of Pringles in less than 10 minutes. You weren’t proud, but you were satisfied.

Tim had suggested a trip to the Santa Monica Pier and you happily agreed. It’s a place you had heard about but never visited before. You suggested meeting him there since it would be out of the way for him to pick you up. Tim had asked that you meet him at a building called the Hippodrome. It was easy to spot because it was rather tall with large arched windows and a dome of some sort on top. When you arrived Tim was already there, leaning against the building like a Greek God if you were being honest. He had on navy shorts, white V neck t-shirt, and sneakers.

“Hey beautiful,” he said while walking up to you pulling you into a big bear hug. “Are you feeling better?”

“Hey yourself.” Kissing his cheek softly before pulling away.  “Yeah, I was just out of it from yesterday. It was a really long day and I just needed to recover.” He intertwined your hand with his left. “So, what first?”

“Well, in this building, is a carousel that’s over 100 years old. I thought we should go for a spin,” he says, eyes and smile both bright. “Technically it’s a merry-go-round since there are other animals besides horses that you can ride.”

“Look at you with the knowledge!” You squeeze his hand and walk to the entrance.

Tim paid for the tickets and you both entered the line to wait for your turn. After a short wait you both picked your horses and had a pretend race. Even though your horses were side by side, yours was slightly more forward, but Tim joked the whole time that he was gaining on you.

After your very tiring race, you both decided you needed food. Tim grabbed a couple of hot dogs and a large portion of fries while you picked up a funnel cake with strawberries and extra whipped cream. You both met up at a picnic table for your mini feast.

“I think your eyes are bigger than your stomach. There’s no way you’re eating this,” he gestures to your hot dog and a pile of fries, “plus some of that,” pointing to the very large funnel cake.

“I think there’s a lot about me you have yet to find out.” You said while grabbing a fry and stuffing it in your mouth.

“Oh, I bet.” Tim said grabbing a handful of fries and shoving them in his mouth.

Since the sun was still warm in the sky, you both walked down to the beach, removed your shoes and walked along the shore. The water was still freezing but the late afternoon sun helped. You picked a few shells off the beach and after gently cleaning them off in the ocean water, Tim stored them in his pockets.

“I’m glad today worked out. I feel bad that I’m only really free on Sundays.” He said.

“It’s alright. We’re still just getting to know each other. I’m sure you could squeeze me in more if we continue to, I don’t know, get to know each other.” You said with a laugh. Why am I so awkward?

Tim stopped walking suddenly, almost making you trip on your own feet. He turned to you, taking both of your hands in his and stood there with intense eyes. Looking like a prince from some sort of fairytale. You on the other hand stood there, mouth agape, with your hair in your face. If he weren’t holding both of your hands you would be taming your mane. “I want to continue to get to know you Y/N. From what I know so far, I really like.”

He started to lean down to kiss you, but the he noticed your mess of hair. He released your hands and gently tucked your hair behind your ears and kissed you. Man is he smooth.

The kiss started slow and tender, but once you slipped your arms around his waist, you both let go. You parted your lips inviting him in and he eagerly accepted. Tongues clashing for dominance. Hands pulling each other as close as possible. Tim slid his hand down to your ass and squeezed. You heard a couple of cat calls and whistles causing your both to break apart laughing. Your cheeks were warm with embarrassment, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of Tim. Smiling at each other like a couple of teenagers.

After a little shopping on the pier, picking up a few candles and bath bombs, Tim walked you to your car. You stood against the driver’s side door with Tim leaning against you, both of his hands gripping your arms. He licks his lips and smiles. “Any way I can convince you to come back to my place tonight?” He asks.

You heart flutters and your pulse quickens. You really want to, boy do you want to, but you aren’t there yet. You know going back to his place means more than just watching a movie or a glass a wine. Going back to his place is that next step. A more intimate step. One that you weren’t quite ready to make. You quickly tried to come up with an excuse but in the end decided the truth was the best option.

“I really, really want to.” Biting your lip, you continued. “I’m just not ready yet. Please don’t take this as a cop out, but I haven’t been in a relationship for a while, so I’m just not there.”

“Oh. No, I totally get that. Yeah. That’s, that’s fine.”

Well, now you felt like shit.

“I just really want to spend more time with you before we get that point.”

He nodded his head and leaned down to kiss you. It was soft and warm, not rushed like earlier. He pulled away and kissed your forehead, holding the kiss there for a while. “Then, well wait.” He smiled and you pulled him back down for another kiss before saying goodnight and driving home.

Monday morning brought good news. Colleen had called both Juliet and yourself into her office. She was very impressed with how you both handled the wedding on Saturday and with how well you both had worked together. As a reward, her word, not yours, you and Juliet would be solely in charge of a dinner party being held on Friday. A good portion of the business your company worked on were dinner parties or parties in general. Usually they were wealthy clients who didn’t want to work with a catering company directly, so instead hired an event coordinator to manage that for them. Everything was already planned and, in the works, you and Juliet would just be there to make sure everything went smoothly and to supervise any staff working the party.

As soon as you were dismissed, you rushed back to your desk and fired off a text to Victoria about your exciting news. Of course, she already knew and sent affirmations about what a good employee you are and how this is well deserved. There was one other person you really wanted to text, but you weren’t sure if you should. Yes, you and Chris spoke at his party, but it still felt unresolved. Why not, I’m just going to do it!

Y/N: I get to co-manage an event this week!

No immediate response was received, so you threw your phone in your handbag and carried on with your day. Not until some time later did you question why you hadn’t thought of telling Tim instead of Chris. You’d have to think on that one later.

The week carried on with a couple of late-night planning sessions with Juliet, usually at a wine bar, but it was work none the less. You never did hear back from Chris. Your optimistic side said he was busy. You’d settle for that for now.

Tim met you for coffee on Thursday. He picked the coffee house that you had your first date in. It was nice and you enjoyed seeing him sooner in the week than your usual Sunday. He would be coming by for dinner at your place on Sunday. You decided to keep it easy with pizza and beer. Tim was a wonderful cook, so you’d leave the cooking to him.

All day Friday you were on cloud nine. Juliet seemed to be in the same mood and you both floated about the office. You even went as far as grabbing lunch for everyone, even the interns. Nothing could spoil your mood.

At 4 pm, Juliet and yourself arrived at the client, Sarah Johnson’s home. Sarah was hosting a dinner for 10 friends, 12 counting herself and her husband Zack. Knowing that people often brought an extra plus one of two, you made sure the catering team with prepared for 15.

While Sarah’s home was luxurious on the inside with a rather large dinning room, the outside was even grander. Her patio was as large as most people’s living rooms. The outside had two separate seating areas with couches and chairs. The seating area to the right had a gas fire pit that was to be turned on right before guests arrived. Even though it wasn’t requested, you brought graham crackers, marshmallows, chocolate bars, and skewers for s’mores. This was definitely a Hollywood dinner party, but who doesn’t enjoy s’mores as a great after-dinner treat?

The seating area to the left was pushed further down the patio to make room for a large table. The rental company was there and ready to set up when you both arrived. Juliet was stationed in the house waiting for the catering team while you stayed outside directing where the table and chairs would be placed. 

Once everything was moved into position you started to set and decorate the table. Several bunches of flowers were already waiting in water buckets to be placed in the small square vases you brought. Dried branches and clear glass beads were sprinkled on the pale pink table cloth. You set the table for 12, keeping a few extra place settings in the kitchen just in case. The flowers and fragrance-free candles were placed last. The Johnson’s large swimming pool had several water and lighting features, so you played with them until you found a setting that fit the mood. 

You checked in the with Juliet who was being kept busy with both Sarah and the caterer. Guests would be arriving any minute now so you ran to the bathroom off the kitchen to freshen up. Hearing new voices, you quickly exited the bathroom and excused yourself back outside. A few guests made their way outside with Sarah and Zack in tow. Minutes later drinks were brought outside by one of the servers and Juliet. Seeing that both Sarah and Zack were outside entertaining about half the guests, you decided to go back inside to greet the guests as they arrived and usher them outside. 

The party was on the younger side. Sarah and Zack were about your age, in their mid 30s, but the majority of their friends were in their early to mid 20s. You had counted eight guests so far including Zack and Sarah. You shot Juliet a text that two more guests had just pulled up. A young woman in her early 20s, wearing a short tight black dress started her way up the walk. You opened the door with a smile plastered on your face. “Welcome,” you greeted. 

“Thank you so much. I’m just waiting for my date, he had run back to the car.” You nodded your head and held the door. She was blonde with large sparkling blue eyes and a perfect smile. “This is a beautiful home, I just love it here.” And she’s even really friendly.

“It is a gorgeous home.” You said with a smile.

“I’m Hannah by the way.” She stuck her hand out and you gave her yours telling her your name as well. You heard some shuffling at the door and looked up to see Chris walking in. He looked at you but didn’t say anything. You didn’t say anything either, but that’s only because you were you were so surprised to see him. “There you are. I was getting worried.” She giggled. 

“Sorry about that.” He grabbed her hand and started to walk into the house further.

“H-hi Chris.” He turned his headed and nodded to you. The asshole just nodded. I am sure Hannah just thought you were a fan, you were mortified.

“Is everyone outside Y/N?” Hannah asked.

Taking a quick breath and composing yourself, you nodded and gestured with your hand. “Yes, right this way. Is there anything you would like to drink?”

“Vodka tonic for me and a beer, right honey?” She said.

“Yes, please.” He replied, looking everywhere but at you.

“Of course, I’ll have it brought out to you. Enjoy the party.”

You quickly told the bartender their order and pointed out who the drinks would be going to and excused yourself to the bathroom. You just needed a minute. Him being here was unexpected but this was your and Juliet’s chance to make an impression. Surely if tonight went well, you would be given the chance to take the lead in the future. If he wanted to play it off as if he didn’t know you, so be it.

After touching up your hair and a few calming breaths, you left the bathroom with a smile plastered on your face.

The rest of the evening went smoothly. You treated Chris as you would any guest and the evening was a success. High praise was given for the s’mores, especially after many alcoholic beverages were consumed. You and a couple of the servers did have to assist with the marshmallows after a few fell into the fire and on the ground.

Everything was cleaned up and put back in place around midnight and you were thankful. It took a lot of effort to ignore Chris ignoring you. Smiling throughout the night wasn’t all that easy, but Juliet hadn’t noticed, so you called it a success.

On your drive home you decided you were done with Chris Evans. So much for the “we’re fine, we’re friends” comment he said last weekend.

After getting home, you jumped in your shower, and then changed into a large t-shirt for bed. Grabbing your phone to plug it in, you had one missed called and three text messages. All from Chris. Clicking open the text thread you found yourself getting angry.

Chris: Could you call me when you get this?

Chris: I just want to talk to you.

Chris: Let me explain.

Turning off your phone, you placed it back on the night stand and tried to fall asleep. You had to stop in the office for a couple of hours so you wanted to be rested. Except you couldn’t. You kept thinking about Chris. His behavior the last few weeks and the person you knew him to be shortly after you had met, they weren’t the same person. Even though he acted like you were a stranger tonight, you were more upset with him at the party last weekend. While he said you were still friends, he never apologized when he knew you were hurt. And now he wants to talk? What’s that all about. Would it be mature if I texted back Fuck you? This was something you would have to think on. As it stood now, you didn’t plan on calling or texting him back.

@crimeshowtrash @cocomel0613 @flamencodiva @the—blackdahlia @thefandomzoneisdangerous @maddie-laufeyson @shameless-pope @tessvillegas @pivans @angelus320 @symonlyjen5 @inlovewith3 @humandasaster @sleepylunarwolf @ fanfiiiiiiics

[ekakinomi-forgrownups]

"Better luck next time, fellas!" ~Mr. Peanut to 2nd and 3rd contenders Geniusman (Tottemo! Luckyman) and Mettaton EX (Undertale) as he proudly shows off his "Loving" Cup that he won for being the official Winner Of My Heart this year

Hi, everyone! How are you today? I bet you're pretty tired of being mostly cooped up inside. But don't worry--I have something right here that might catch your interest.

As some of you may know, March is National Peanut Month. Now, that's not exactly something worth celebrating for peanut allergists...but, on the other paw, March is also National Nutrition Month, National Kidney Month, Optimism Month, Spiritual Wellness Month, National Women's History Month, Irish-American Heritage Month, and International Listening Awareness Month, among even more things. March is also, of course, the first month of Spring. So there's much more to celebrate in March than just peanuts.

However, in this blog post, I'm going to celebrate peanuts. I could go on and on about peanut butter, my favorite food ever, the average jar of which is made with hundreds of peanuts. But, I'm just going to focus one one peanut this time--one of the most famous peanuts of all time--the one and only Mr. Peanut, mascot for the Planters brand of nuts and snacks. Why? Because he's my biggest cartoon crush.

.......say waaaaaaa~~~t?

But isn't he dead?

youre just posting your april fools joke too early

Nope. It's all true!

All the recent hub-bub about Mr. Peanut, including the infamous commercial where he literally dies, reminded me of this earlier commercial I saw on T.V. back in 2018 (the first video featured in this post), which utilized the same sleek design he was animated in during his passing. After finding it on YouTube, I found other videos of him, and this social media browsing eventually brought me to his Twitter account, where I browsed all of his posts from 2018/19. I immediately fell for his optimistic attitude, his sweet personality and especially his support for his friends and followers...and the rest is history. He has the looks, he has the heart--and now he's helping me to grow up.

But why him?? How could an overdressed anthro peanut top, let alone compete with, these practical princes of men? How would crushing over a cartoon help me grow up in any way? And last (and strangest) of all, why am I suddenly going "nuts" over the now-defunct version of a character who just 2 months ago died and came back as a baby?

I will answer all those questions in approximately...right now!

Being autistic, I have a more child-like mind-set than others my age--one facet of this is the ability to immerse myself in imaginary worlds and connect with characters. Thinking of characters, "talking" to them and even trying to act like them has gotten me through many a tough time. As I take inspiration from their personalities and actions, I find more fun and creative ways to spice up my every-day life, stay calm when things get stormy, cheer me up when I feel down, or pep me up when I get sluggish and demotivated. I use different characters to help me with different aspects of life. The two types that always helped me the most were characters with pure hearts, and characters I had crushes on.

Recently, though, I had been looking for a character that would help me take on one of my toughest challenges--accepting the fact that the world is equally as cruel as it is kind, while staying a calm and collected person, and then handling it all just by myself--to put it in two words: growing up. I won't go into detail (in this post, at least), but life had been extremely cruel to me last year. I had a lot of trouble accepting it, and I was losing my self-control. But considering that I'm going on 23 now, I knew that I had to get it together, or else I would stay a crying ball of nerves, trapped on a bed, forever. Being one of the less restrictive aspects of having the heart of a child, I knew that modeling myself after a good-natured fictional character would be a perfect start--but I needed one exceptionally powerful character to pull this off. I needed a crush with a pure heart.

Then it suddenly and silently occured to me, as I continued to take in his various pictures, videos, GIF's and Tweets, that Mr. Peanut was it.

His sleek and curvy body, his elegant limbs, refined features and gentlemanly disposition--not to mention the fact that he's wearing white gloves and has one eye always covered--immediately calls to mind my best cartoon crushes: Geniusman from the anime "Tottemo! Luckyman" and Mettaton EX from the game "Undertale" (who are both looking salty alongside Mr. Peanut on the winner's podium in the top picture). But what really got me was what he didn't have that the other crushes did, he made up for with his unique personality, that my other crushes, in turn, didn't have:

You see, Mr. Peanut rests comfortably on two fine lines that few characters have even been able to stand on. The fine line between "handsome and stylish" and "conceited and mean", and the fine line between "peppy mascot" and "mature and modest gentle-man". All except for a "brief" 10-year stint where they tried to "re-invent" him (Yes, I'm talking about the one who spent the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade dabbing), he's always been a gentle, friendly, quiet character whose main goal in life (besides selling nuts) is to help people and make them happy, "shelling out" plenty of pep while also remaining proper and well-composed.

He never got angry for more than a second or two, and handled (almost) any problem he faced in the smartest, most dignified and most fun way possible. And of course, he's very sweet and always thinks of those he cares about first. He also, despite being a mascot for snacks, loves to play sports and stay fit and healthy--and he encourages others to do the same. And finally, despite being a mascot in general, he always had this quiet, unassuming air to him. He made all his necessary appearances and entertained his customers, yet he always acted very natural about it and never hammed it up or acted super wild and goofy--a thing that most other cartoon mascots fail to do.

So he's not just eye-candy--he's also a perfect role model. That covers the "first of all". Not only does he give me the incentive to be a dignified lady who always does the right thing first, but he gives me that euphoric, limerance-enduced energy I need to really want to act upon it. All my aspirations to be more courteous, be more proper and elegant, be more brave, lead a healthy and active life-style and be a good mascot for Ekaki No Mi are finally coming to fruition. That covers the "second of all".

Yes, this all sounds very silly. But In a "nut-shell", he's the reason I'm finally growing up, so in a way, this is all anything but silly. I would be a hot mess without him...which is exactly why I'm speaking of him in present-tense (using "is" instead of "was"), and pretending he never became Baby Nut or even died in the first place. Here's where I cover the "third of all".

For those who don't already know about his apparent death and resurrection: for their big pre-Super Bowl LIV commercial (the second video featured), Planters took a very unusual, very controversial approach: Their preview commercial depicted Mr. Peanut sacrificing himself to save his friends by letting go of a branch on a cliff that was too heavy to hold him and actors Matt Walsh and Wesley Snipes. The actual Super Bowl commercial (the third video featured) depicted his funeral, which the Kool-Aid Man, among others, attended. A magic tear from the Kool-Aid Man caused a peanut plant to grow out of the ground and sprout a "Baby Nut"--the official reincarnation of Mr. Peanut. Here are the two commercials, in order:

But what people often don't realize is that Mr. Peanut is a cartoon--a form of art--and art, except in very specific cases, is meant to be interpreted by the viewer. If the story isn't satisfactory, people can ignore some parts and pretend that others play out differently, until it fits what they believe in. And the characters and their actions can hold secret meanings that only the viewer sees. In fact, the same character can don different personalities and clothes, and exist in different universes, doing different things--all at the same time. (Think of all the different versions of Mickey Mouse that exist at the same time, even today.)

So is the case with Mr. Peanut. As long as his original likeness still exists--anywhere in this world--he's still alive and well. And even if the actual Planters corporation says he's Baby Nut now, he's still the same old Mr. Peanut in another part of the Internet, in another part of the world, or in any alternate universe. Many, actually. In one of them, he could be "Miss Peanut". In another, he could be a radical "Teen Nut". And in another still, he could actually be the evil capitalist peanut everybody says he is--you know, the one who struts around in his aristocrat clothing while roasting his fellow "pea-ple" and selling them to humans as food in order to get richer...

...which I like to think is not true, because the real peanuts he sells for your eating pleasure could never have flexy bright-yellow shells or humanoid features, could never breathe, cry, blush, say "Whoa!" when startled, wear clothes, be cuddled by a person with a peanut allergy without triggering it, and couldn't even survive on their own for more than 4 months, let alone 104 years. When they grow, it doesn't happen in the blink of an eye--peanut plants take about 3 or 4 weeks to mature (on days that strictly aren't frosty, no less), and the peanuts themselves grow under the ground--totally different from how Baby Nut came into being.

In short, the peanuts we eat aren't cartoons, like Mr. Peanut is. And since he is, I can interpret him any way I want, just as any other person can. So he doesn't have to be a cannibalistic capitalist. He can be the dapper yellow fellow who sells and eats yummy, natural and nutritious morsels that happen to look a bit like him--think of how humans eat little crackers and gummies that look like other people--and, most importantly, is not dead and never will be, because people still love him and believe in him, and belief and imagination transcend death, at least when it comes to fictional characters.

(I especially have the right to believe he's dead because it's one thing to kill off a character in a series for story reasons--it's another thing to kill a revered and internationally-known brand mascot just to create a social media buzz and generate profits. Now that's capitalism!)

But at the same time, I can't help but admit that it was at least a unique social media experiment, and despite the nasty secret intent behind it all, it was very interesting to finally get to see how Mr. Peanut would die, how he got born (and reborn), and what he looks like as a baby. And honestly, with his big round eyes, squidgy body and dainty features, I actually think Baby Nut is pretty cute--certainly too cute for me to want to break out a mortar and pestle and make peanut butter out of him--but he's just not Mr. Peanut. Mr. Peanut was such a unique character that it takes some very special minds to make a character that even comes close to a replacement--sadly, Baby Nut just doesn't make the cut.

Thanks to the power of love and imagination, though, he's still his good old self in my heart. Besides, he may just grow up and come back some day. So in conclusion, he still is, not was, and always will be, the best role model and "husbando" I could ever ask for. He's got the looks. He's got the love. He's cute. He's graceful. He's dapper. He's daring. He's silly. He's sexy. He's serene. He's cheerful, and he always brightens my day. He's everything I could ever want, and more.

Some day I plan to release an art collection featuring the lovable legume sometime in the near future. I would have each picture creatively high-light a different aspect of his personality, taking inspiration from charming vintage art-work that would fit the theme of the picture as well as actual Planters merchandise, and I would utilize various retro art styles and techniques from different time periods to give each picture a distinctive "old-fashioned" vibe.

The collection will be available on all my art web-pages, including my possible future Patreon (if I can get enough subscribers!), and I'm hoping I can also get it shown off in a gallery somewhere (if there are enough Mr. Peanut fans here in Athens to want to see it.)

One of my favorite commercials featuring him ever, back when he was (canonically) alive and well.

The commercial where he literally dies.

The commercial where he comes back to life as a little baby peanut.

And that concludes my post. The credits for the videos go to Planters and KraftHeinz, and the cover photo for this post goes to my imaginary friend, Mini Minoux. Do you love Mr. Peanut, too? And if you do, what do you love about him? And what about Baby Nut? Is he “yea” or “nay”? I'd be happy to hear your thoughts in the comments--though please, keep it reasonable and don't be too harsh. We're in the company of a gentleman. ;.3

[cazuzuka]

Miraculous Ladybug:Knew All Along

My first time ever posting fanfiction! (Please be gentle with me!)  Currently a oneshot (but will write more if people like it).  A rewrite of Troublemaker, it follows very closely until a key moment when it start to diverge (future chapters would diverge more and be much less copied).  Adrinette and I suppose a little Marichat.  Rated T      EDIT: sorry for the extra long post before.  just learned how to shorten!

Miraculous Ladybug: Knew All Along

<“~Flour, eggs and buttah! And fire in the oven…~”> Jagged Stone and Tom Dupain sing to the tune of "Smoke on the Water" on Adrien Agreste’s enormous personal television. Adrien and his Kwami, Plagg, were watching, well, Adrien was; Plagg was occupied with a plate of cheese. He swallowed. "Oh come on! Are you finally gonna put cheese on that bread or what? Since when do you have any interest in this show?" Adrien smiled, eyes glued to the screen. "The show is being shot at Marinette’s."

<"~This is the Baker’s Rock’N’Roll!~" Jagged and Tom finish singing, then Jagged calls off-screen, "Yo, Marinette! My favorite little lady, come over and rock with us!" The camera pans to Marinette, her mother, and Jagged's assistant, Penny. Sabine encourages her daughter forward and Marinette heads to the set, waiting nervously at the camera.>  

On the other side of the screen, Adrien smiled broadly at his on-screen friend. Plank watches him and hums knowingly. 

<Marinette is giving a toothy, awkward smile. Jagged goes on to tell Alec, the showrunner, and the audience about Marinette and the cover art to Jagged's latest album, done by Marinette, appears on screen.>

Adrien recalls her accomplishment with pride, the album she signed for him laid on the desk nearby.

<"Can you grab a bag of flour, please dear?" Tom asks Marinette. “Sure, dad.” Marinette goes to help but her clumsiness gets the better of her and Jagged is covered in flour.>

Adrien laughs but is sympathetic to Marinette embarrassment though the star took it well. The show cuts to commercial. Adrien sits back, having not realized how far forward he was leaning. "Marinette must be thrilled. She loves Jagged Stone and I bet the PR on her accomplishments will help her design dreams. I wonder how she feels about the spotlight though. It can be pretty rough." Adrien says all this aloud, to himself as much as Plagg. "Planning on swooping in to save the princess if the public bares its fangs at her?” Plagg asks, polishing off the cheese Adrian gave him. Adrien’s smile falls.  "I don't know if ‘Adrien’ could do much without making it worse but I certainly would try."

<"And we're back on the air with Jagged Stone…">

Adrien returns his attention to the show and is surprised to see they have left the bakery and are now in Marinette's room. "Does she know they are in there?" Adrien mumbles.

<"Hey, there are more photos of this dude than of me! I think the baker’s daughter’s got a little crush." Jagged announces to the world with a wink.>

Adrien turns pink in surprise and… Pleasure? "Lookee here. Another secret admirer," Plagg needles him.

<Alec and Jagged continue to poke around Marinette’s room, holding up and trying on things Marinette likely made, when Marinette cries out off screen. "What’re you-you guys doing in here?!” Penny apologizes while Jagged obliviously offers to sign a poster of himself, then the camera lands on Marinette, who is visibly distressed. "I need everyone to leave! Stop filming! Penny, do something!" "You heard the lady," Penny says firmly and starts pushing people out when the video cuts out and is replaced by a car commercial.>

Adrien turns to Plagg in outrage "What a gross invasion of privacy! Marinette must feel so violated and upset." "What’s her prince gonna do about it?" Plagg teases and Adrien frowns. "I could call, see if she is alright. But then she'd know I saw it and that could make it worse." Adrien sighs heavily, stumped, when the show suddenly comes back on air. Adrien is shocked to see sweet, Mrs. Cheng twirling a peel like a martial arts master before pointing it at someone past the camera.

<"I demand an apology!" She cries. Her husband speaks off-screen to her, asking what's wrong when a grunt of pain and an accusatory yell is heard. The camera shifts to Mr. Dupain, holding a guitar who goes head-to-head with the producer. "I could pretend this isn't bothering me, but now you've gone too far Mr!">

Plaqg speaks up, “This is getting interesting.”

<Sabine has joined the standoff. A series of crashes and grunts can be heard as the camera is jolted around until landing on a, once again, flour-covered Jagged. He cries out that there is a ghost before calling out for Penny. A door slams and the bakery’s security shields close, blocking all exits and everyone is left terrified. The producer asked if the bakery was built on a cemetery.

The camera goes wild again, briefly landing on members of the scared group as objects go flying and crashing all over. "Hello, Jagged."  The camera steadies on a strangely dressed woman who seems to have appeared from nowhere. Jagged cries for Penny's help but the woman speaks, "There's no more ‘Penny’ to deal with all your problems, Jagged! From now on, there's only Troublemaker!">

"An akuma! "Adrien exclaims. "Maybe a prince can't do anything, but at knight can!"  "Save me a baguette while you are at it. I just love camembert on sourdough!" Plagg says practically drooling. "I think I can manage to save the princess, the day, and your stomach at the same time. Plagg, claws out!"

Chat Noir swoops in and lands in front of the bakery where Nadia Chamayk is reporting live about the akuma. "Hey everyone, let me take care of this. It'll be a piece of cake!” Chat tries to lift the security shield but it doesn't budge. Well, that's embarrassing. Chat loses his grip and stumbled back. He reaches up to call out his Cataclysm when his hand is grabbed by the villain who snuck up behind him. "So you wanna play rescue? No one is going to be rescued today!" She says before hurling him. Chat shrieks before hitting a van, his vision going white at the explosion of pain and leaving a Chat-sized dent in the vehicle. Thank God for magic suits and miraculous waves. A normal person would've broken something. Something grabs his leg and Chat is pulled back into the air with another scream. This time he lands softer on a cloth chair on Marinette’s balcony and is facing his lady. "You are right Chat Noir?" Ladybug asks, holding a hand out to him. "Better thanks to you, Bugaboo.” He reaches out to take it but it is rescinded.  “Stop calling me ‘Bugaboo’! Follow me."  Ladybug jumps off the rail and through the trapdoor. Chat follows her and calls out, "Let's break some bread!”

Adrien had visited Marinette’s room before. It was cute and pink with different art and fashion supplies in, somewhat, organized piles all over the place. When Chat entered, his gaze was drawn to a corkboard plastered with pictures. A class photo, himself, Marinette’s girlfriends, himself… He hadn't realized he had slowed down until Ladybug physically redirected his gaze.  "We can take the grand tour later, Chat." Her expression was tight. Chat only half hears, however, distracted by sound.

In a flurry of movement, Chat has thrown the mattress they were on up, just in time to shield them from the barrage of knitting needles. Without warning, Ladybug pushes it back down and Chat is thrown to the floor. "Sorry!"  She says quickly, joining him on the lower level. They dodge a parasol and Ladybug throws her yo-yo but it just passes through. Marinette’s chaise is thrown next and releases a flurry of paper. One lands on Chat’s face and he finds himself face-to-face with his own smiling, civilian face.  Ladybug snatches it away with a curt, "I said later, Chat!"  before being knocked over by thrown trunk. Check quickly refocuses and not a moment too soon. Troublemaker has re-materialized right behind his lady and is reaching for her earrings.

In a moment, Chat cries out a warning while tripping his lady out of reach and landing (finally) a successful strike. Troublemaker’s pen flies across the room. "The akuma is inside the pen!” Ladybug cries out the realization. All three lunge for it, nearly landing on top of each other.  But Troublemaker grabbed first and clicks to dematerialize. "Touch me if you dare!" she says with a little giggle and sinks through the floor.

Chat Noir wants to groan in frustration. "What are we gonna do? I can't touch it with a 10 foot pole, even if I wanted to."  Ever optimistic and quick-thinking, Ladybug clears his worries. "Her strength is her weakness. In order to touch us, she must become touchable herself!"  They stand and Ladybug clears her throat loudly. Chat looks at her, but it takes a pointed glance for him to realize he was still holding her hand. He blushes and makes an awkward show of giving it back, ending with finger guns.  Finger guns?! Really? The duo runs down the hatch into the family’s living room and each quickly takes a defensive stance facing away from each other. "She's probably in this room! If she wants to take our miraculous, she can't be untouchable.” ""And if we can grab her, we can also grab her pen,” Chat continues her thought. "And capture the akuma!  But we will have to act fast!"  As if on cue, Ladybug cries out and Chat finds his arm, with his ring, twisted painfully behind him. Desperately, he clenches his fist to prevent the ring’s removal. Ladybug wraps Chat and the villain in her yo-yo but it quickly goes slack as Troublemaker slips away. Chat, without a moment to free himself, is kicked face-first into a bookcase. Ow.  I am not winning today. From the other side of the room, he hears Troublemaker say something triumphantly and his lady gives a helpless, "No!"  Chat forces his eyes open and takes in the horror of his ladybug pinned (by someone other than himself) and patches of her suit glowing white-pink instead of red. But it is her whimper of fear that launches him into overdrive. He frees himself and calls for his destructive power and throw some self at her attacker. His fierce protection is dodged but Ladybug’s missing earring falls out of Troublemaker’s grasp.  Chat rolls out of the lunge, careful of his powered-up hand, and whips around for another go. But Troublemaker is gone, leaving his lady groping around for her lost earring, her mask half gone. And Chat is looking at half of a familiar face.

Her eyes are still bluebell blue, her face is flushed but revealed are normally hidden freckles peppering her nose. Her hair, so dark it is almost blue, is in her signature twin-tails. Chat catches himself staring as Ladybug, no Marinette, watches her costume right itself. He manages to pull off an act that he was looking out for Troublemaker and not at her. Mari – Ladybug breathes a sigh. "That was a close call. Thanks for the assist" Say something! "I can think of so many better ways to find out your identity than a forced unmasking.” Shut up, shut up! Ladybug looks at him cautiously, Chat throws on a calm, model smile. I know nothing. Stop looking at me… "Now isn’t the time to debate better ways, we've got butts to kick. Lucky Charm!"  Following a flash of light, into Ladybug’s hands falls… "A broken plate?”  She glances around, going so far as to turn behind her. "That's strange, I don't see how to use it!" "Could losing an earring have weakened your power?"  Chat Noir took a closer look at the plate, careful of his hand is still glowing with power.  He considered the time ticking down to a detransformation and before his thoughts returned to her half-unmasking. In his distraction, he slow to notice her finding and picking up a tube of glue. "Seriously?" he says skeptically.

Hunting for trouble(maker) again, Chat extends his arm ahead, his other hand holding it steady, like a policeman would with a gun. "Come out, come out! We aren’t looking for any ‘trouble’." Ladybug groans at the pun but puts her helpless voice on rather than chide him. "Be careful, Chat Noir! She could come from anywhere to get my miraculous!"  Attention grabbed, leaving the bait… "She's not here. I'll check the roof. Stay here!”  He leaps up and passes through the skylight. Even in an act, it's hard to listen to his love’s fearful tone, calling him back, but Chat stays out of sight. He hears Trouble’s cackle and Ladybugs panicked cry.  Wait… The shattering of the plate and, a moment later, Ladybugs beg "Stop!"  WAIT.  A quiet moment before… "What?!" And that his cue. Chat jumps back down the trap door into the loft, watching the scene of his lady, straddled again (grr), mockingly saying, "Having some trouble?"  (Love when she puns <3).  "Aw, my poor Bugaboo! Another supervillain has literally glued themselves to you." He shows troublemaker the super glue tube. "Sorry to disappoint, but only I can stick to milady!"  He jumps down as Troublemaker starts to thrash, trying to free herself but Ladybug won't let go. Chat, carefully amid the flurry of movement, slips the pen out of from Troublemaker’s hand and brushes his cataclysm on it. Troublemaker is trouble no more. Ladybug catches the akuma and releases it before sending out her purifying wave.

Chat looks lovingly down at Ladybug, who is taking care of a confused Penny. With or without the mask. I love her. Her earrings beep a warning and she moves to depart, Chat following her and they stand together a moment on her balcony. Ladybug hesitates then, biting her lip. "You…"  “Gotta go, M’lady," Chat cuts her off and vaults away, Ladybug left with a hand extended toward his shrinking shape.

“Claws in.”  Adrien’s transformation drops midfall after vaulting through the window back into his room.  He throws himself on the bed and begins a muffled rant into his pillow as he flutter kicks into his mattress.  Plagg floats over, momentarily distracted from his need for cheese.  “Adrien?”  More muffled ranting.  “I don’t speak pillow.”  A muffled groan.  “Adrien!  Isn’t this a good thing?  You know who’s the girl behind the mask!”  A heavy sigh and he gets up.  

“I am happy.  I can’t believe I found out.  I can’t believe it’s Marinette!”  Adrien looks down at his hands.  “But she doesn’t want me to know.  Even if accidentally, I violated her trust.  What if she hates me!” he lets himself fall sideways back onto the bed.  “I’m not sure Marinette likes ‘Adrien’ that much anyway, with how she asks around me.  Ladybug...Mari herself said she liked someone else.  Someone who broke her heart…”  Plagg nibbled on his Camembert.  “Well,” chews. “Be better than the guy who makes her sad.  Steal her away.”  

By this point, Plagg’s train of thought devolved a bit in favor of cheese, but Adrien perks and shoots back up.  “That’s it!  Make her fall for me!”  Adrien jumps up and tries to pull Plagg in for a hug but he quickly wiggles out.  “Ey! Watch the cheese!”  Adrien laughs but pauses at a thought.  “What was up with those pictures??”

The next day at school, Adrien had arrived early and was hanging around Marinette’s locker.  “No, wait… Let’s not jump her right here..”  He walks away a bit and is rewarded by the sight of Marinette trying to sneak to her locker unnoticed.  Adrien stifles a laugh and has a very ‘Chat’ thought.  He plants himself next to her, hidden by her own open locker door.  He hears a heavy sigh of relief and her mumbling to herself.  She closes her door, and unable to hold back, Adrien immediately says hi, startling Marinette badly.  Mirth touching his voice, Adrien says, Be natural.  Model smile.  I don’t know you are Ladybug.  Fall in love with me.  What was up with the pictures???  “How are you?  After what happened at your place, I was worried...”  Marinette went bright red and cut him off.  “Oh, so you watched the show, then!” She laughs nervously before taking a serious tone. “Well, uh, look...about what you saw on the show last night... the totographs, in my room..”  Adrien’s heart races, The photos! Yes??? “You mean the photographs?”  Marinette blushes harder. “The grotographs, exactly! It-it's not what you think”. She bites her lip. Adorably. “See...I'm really into fashion, and, umm…”  

Adrien impishly leans forward and stared hard into her eyes, unable to hold himself back.  “Are you lying?”  Do you...possibly…? “No!”  Marinette steps away and avoids his eyes. “I'm so not into you.”  Adrien’s heart sinks.  “I mean, sure, I'm interested in you.” You are?!  “but, um, not in that way; well, you know, ha-ha-ha-ha...ha ha!”  Adrien hides his disappointment.  I can work with that.  “Just teasing.” Adrien placing his arm over her shoulder.  Casually.  “I understand; don't worry. I've got used to having lots of fans...and, photographs of me everywhere — even in the most...unlikely places…” Marinette laughs, “As if someone would have a picture of you under her bed, right?”  Adrien lets his arm fall, grazing her back. “Yeah. I was wondering; since you're into fashion so much, you could come watch my next photoshoot!”  Marinette lights up with excitement.  “No way! For you?—peal—meal— For real?”  I would invite you to every shoot to make you look like that.  Adrien instead said, “Honestly, it's pretty long and boring, but if you were there, it would definitely be more fun! Whaddaya say?”  Marinette, very excitedly, throws her arms up. “Oh wow! Yes!” She blushes and contains herself. “Thank you, Adrien.”  I’m gonna die. Too cute.  A bit red himself and his voice a fraction higher, Adrien says, “I'll keep you posted, then.” Leave before you get weird. “See you later in class.” He pauses at the door.  Before he can think better of it, Adrien turns back.  “I'm glad to have you as one of my fans.”  He turns quickly to hide a creeping blush but allows himself a glance backward and a wave as he slips through the door.

Away from her eyes, Adrien heaves a sigh and nearly sprints away, hoping to expend the nervous energy and hide the cause for his intense blush.  The classroom is still empty at this time and he collapses into his seat.  “Nervous much?”  Plagg peeks out of his shirt.  “You think that was too much?  I think it was too much.”  Adrien babbles.  “I think you got a date.”  Plagg gives him finger guns.  Adrien goes white.  “I’ll have to model.  And focus.  While she watches me?????”

Thanks for the read!  As I said, I may continue, changing the events of episodes after this if I get enough people who want me to to say so!  Planning on also posting to fanfiction.net and archiveofyourown but I don’t have accounts there yet :p

EDIT: have since made accounts and posted! With the same name: Knew All Along

[winryofresembool]

503 week day 3: free choice

Aka Love Can Melt the Ice epilogue

A/N: So many times I’ve said “we are almost at the end”, but now we REALLY are there. This is it, guys. No more LCMTI after this. I love this story like it’s my baby. It’s my first long story, and it will always have a very special place in my heart. But now it’s time to let go. (For now. Because with the passion I have for this au, companion pieces or even a sequel might be a possibility in the future. But I can’t say anything official at this point.)

The biggest thank you ever to @criis55​, @automail-freak-and-alchemy-freak​, @randomlyopeneddictionary​, @roboticrainboots​, @kilmartin85 and EVERYONE else who has in some way encouraged me to continue this story. Without you guys, I would have given up a long time ago. I will always love and appreciate the nice words (and lovely art ;___;) you guys have given me more than you know, and I feel I can’t thank you enough. 

That being said, it’s time for this very self indu!gent epilogue. Please enjoy, and one last time (when it comes to this fic), let me know what you think! 

@503week

Previous chapters:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 5.5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 pt 1, pt 2, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Companion pieces (note: these are all post Olympics happenings so reading the main fic first is recommended): 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Words: 1500+ (sorry, it’s not long, but I feel it says everything important)

Genre: self indulgent fluff

Warnings: swearing, as usual

“Where are you taking me?” Winry asked curiously as Ed and she kept driving on roads that were unfamiliar to her. They were somewhere close to East City, but she had never visited this area, and had no idea what link Ed could possible have there.

“You will see soon enough! Just a little bit longer,” Ed answered, keeping his eyes strictly on the road to not give Winry any hints about their whereabouts.

“Fine. But if you are taking me to your team’s holiday party or something, I’m gonna say no thank you. The last time was definitely enough,” Winry huffed.

“No, this doesn’t have anything to do with them…” Ed shook his head. “Well, maybe a little, but no hockey playing jerks should be around this time.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Winry said, focusing on the landscape again. There was nothing but forests around them, and she didn’t understand what they would find in a place like that.

“Uh, no offense,” she said after they had driven a few more minutes, “but if you wanted to take me on a date or something, some nice East City restaurant would have done… This is a bit… far, don’t you think?”

“Who said something about a date?” Ed scowled. “No, I’m showing you a place that’s important to me… I haven’t been there in a long time…”

“Okay…” Winry said, unsurely. The puzzle pieces in her head still didn’t quite go together after that revelation.

She didn’t have to wonder much longer, though, because soon Ed stopped his car at the park of an old, faraway graveyard.

“Wha…” Finally the pieces started clicking to their rightful places. “Is this where…”

“Yeah, Nina was buried here. We, who knew her, thought it was what she would have liked… She really loved nature… so this is the definitely better than some modern big city cemetery…”

“I can’t say I knew her, but that makes sense…” Winry agreed.

Before long Ed found the grave he was looking for, and kneeled before it.

“Sorry that I haven’t visited in a while…” he started. “We have had a lot going on. My team got to the finals in Amestris’ hockey league, and we’ve also had some arrangements to do… You see, Winry and I are getting married soon. I guess you haven’t met her before, so I brought her with me.” He took Winry’s hand and pulled her closer to the grave.

“You think she hears what you’re saying?” Winry asked with confusion.

“Who knows,” Ed shrugged and left the topic at that. He turned his attention back to the tombstone. “Umh, there’s another thing I wanted to tell you, Nina. The foundation we named after you has already gained several million cenz… So it’s been a success! Dad has also helped us to promote it, and I’ve heard that so far the results have been good. The universities of Amestris are doing more research on mental issues like your father’s, finding new ways to help, and we have also done some co-work with the organization Winry gave her Olympic winning money for. We will make sure things will continue smoothly here and more kids will get help!”

“I think she’d be proud of you.” Winry smiled at her fiancé.

“Thank you,” Ed said and wrapped his arm around her waist.

“You know, I am proud of you too…” she continued. “Remember that boy who freaked out over the thought of possibly liking me? You are not the same person anymore.”

“A lot of it is thanks to you guys, though.”

“Give yourself some credit,” Winry nudged him gently. “You made the decision to let us in. No one else did.”

Ed started feeling a bit awkward, like every time he had to talk about his emotions, so he decided to change the topic:

“Uh, hey, wanna get something to eat? I don’t know about you, but at least I’m starting to get hungry.”

“Sure, why not.” Winry crouched down in front of the grave one more time, taking a flower from her hair that she had put there earlier that day and setting it in front of the stone. “Bye, Nina. It was nice to meet you.”

“We’ll be back soon,” Ed promised, giving the grave one final glance before they left the graveyard hand in hand.

…

“Have you heard about Al lately?” Winry asked as they sat down to eat ice cream in the sun. Before Ed had picked her up from the East City station, she had been spending a couple of weeks in Rush Valley seeing her old friends, so the two of them had a lot to catch up on.

“Oh yeah, he called a couple of days ago,” Ed remembered. “He claims the Xingese hockey league is better than ours, but I think he has other reasons why he’s enjoying himself so much there…”

“Are just jealous that he’s doing so well without you around?” Winry teased.

“Why would I be jealous?” Ed frowned. “I have the best team and the best job and the best…”

“Soon to be wife?” Winry asked with a glint in her eye.

“I was gonna say mechanic, but that goes too.”

“I suppose I can accept that answer. So, tell me, what’s that mechanic like?”

“Well, she can be a real pain in my ass when she complains about me not oiling my arm often enough…” Ed said as if the oiling was the worst thing he knew.

“Watch it!” Winry put her soft ice cream close to Ed’s nose, threatening to mess his face with it if he continued that game.

“… BUT I know she does that only because she cares about me, and she’s also ridiculously hot, and makes me happier… and I can’t wait to marry her.” He spooned a little bit of his ice cream from its cone with his finger and wiped it on her nose tip. Then he leaned forward and pecked the ice cream off her nose.

“Are you definitely the Edward Elric I’ve known since I was a kid?” Winry asked half seriously, half flustered by his words. “Where have you learned to become that… smooth?”

“I’ve always been smooth,” Ed claimed.

“You so have not.”

“Fine. I guess watching Al with Mei has it perks,” he finally admitted.

“Well, thank you, Alphonse and Mei, for making my fiancé a sweet talker. Anyway! Did Al say how he and Mei are doing? Are they living together yet?”

“Mei’s dad seems to be a little reluctant to let his daughter go, but Al is optimistic that they will manage to win him over eventually. From what I’ve heard, they seem to be getting along pretty well because he loves hockey too.”

“That’s good. I hope everything will go work out well for them.”

“Me too. Hey, did I tell you that Captain Bastard finally asked Riza out?” Ed asked. For the past week he had gotten about a hundred messages on his phone about the bet he and Roy had made about Roy’s love life. According to Roy’s messages, Ed would be 520 cenz poorer soon.

“He did?! Oh my goodness, that’s so great!” Winry exclaimed. “I’m so happy for Riza, she’s been waiting for it to happen so long.”

“I know, it was about fucking time.”

“Ed. Poor word choice.” Winry gave him an unimpressed look.

“Oh, hush. You never complain when I…”

“Lalalala!!!” Winry covered her ears with her hands, preventing Ed from finishing his sentence. He quieted down, and suddenly his face turned serious.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking… Everyone’s kinda moving forward, and…” he started hesitantly.

“Yeah? I mean, we are too. We are getting married soon, in case you didn’t remember,” Winry noted, continuing to lick her ice cream like she wasn’t curious about what he had to say.

“I remember just fine. I’m trying to say that… I might be ready to take the next step too.” Ed’s face was about as red as back when he had first started to realize he had feelings for Winry.

“What’s the next step?” Winry asked. She enjoyed making him struggle a bit.

“My income is good, and you are finishing your studies soon, and are also doing well financially…”

“What are you trying to say?” Winry was already having a hard time hiding her curiosity and excitement over what he might ask.

“What would you say if we tried?” Ed finally blurted.

“Tried what?”

“To get a baby of our own, of course!” came out of Ed’s mouth louder than he had wished.

“Are you… are you sure?” Winry asked, her eyes almost as big as plate. “I mean, I’d love to, but… are you ready for that? I mean, with what happened…”

“Winry. I am sure. I’ve been thinking about it for a long while. I know that there will be challenging moments, but I also know we are strong enough to get over them. I would love to. Have a baby with you.”

“In that case… YES!” What was left of the ice cream flew on the road when Winry jumped to hug Ed fiercely. “I always wanted to… but I didn’t want to push it…” Winry mumbled against his shirt, and Ed thought he could feel it getting a bit wet.

“Why are you crying?”

“Happy tears, Ed…” she whispered and leaned to kiss him.

[hazyheel]

Clash of Champions 2019 Predictions

Clash of Champions is WWE’s last pay per view before the wrestling landscape undergoes a massive overhaul. NXT is getting TV time, Smackdown is moving to fox and Fridays, and of course, we have the Wednesday Night Wars starting up. NXT vs. AEW. Right now, WWE really needs their pay per view to impress to get some good buzz going around them, because AEW has been really outperforming WWE pay per views that happened around the same time. So this is a big show for WWE, and they have packed it full of matches as such. The King of the Ring final was bumped to Raw, but other than that there are plenty of big matches. And here are my predictions as to who will win.

Roman Reigns vs. Rowan in a No Disqualifications Match: This is the only non-title match that is scheduled for the show, and the story is so weak that it hurts. Reigns was attacked several times before Summerslam, but no one knew who did it. So, we had a whodunnit storyline that was very promising. Samoa Joe was the first suspect, but he was quickly proven innocent. Then Reigns interrogated Buddy Murphy, who said that it was Rowan who was responsible. Daniel Bryan and Rowan both denied it, and at Summerslam, Rowan attacked Murphy during his match and called him a liar. He and Bryan attacked Murphy again backstage on Smackdown to force him to take his claim back, which he did. The two bearded men then said that the real culprit was a guy who looked exactly like Rowan. That was around the time that this all fell apart, not only because it is a bad plot point, but they also ignored the doppleganger for the rest of the story. But eventually, Reigns somehow got security footage of Rowan walking away from the forklift incident, and Rowan admitted it was him. Remember, he easily could’ve said it was the other guy, but he just confessed. Rowan then beat down Roman and Bryan, and eventually this match was scheduled. Bad story, real bad. Hopefully there is a swerve coming, because Rowan is not the guy for this spot. I think Roman will win here, but I hope to God that someone else is actually behind the attack. I think that the No DQ stip should make this match more fun, but I doubt it’ll be one of the highlighted matches of the night. I think this match will be pretty good, but not a classic or anything.

Drew Gulak vs. Humberto Carrillo vs. Lince Dorado for the WWE Crusierweight Championship: This is a pretty simple match. A few weeks ago on 205 Live, we had a Captains challenge match: 5 on 5 tag, elimination rules. The only two survivors of that match were Oney Lorcan and Humberto Carrillo. The two then faced off in a #1 contenders match the next week, with Carrillo winning. However, Lince Dorado and Carrillo had been having some problems for the past few weeks, with Dorado being pissed about Carrillo scoring a win on him. Dorado went as far as to say that he wasn’t a real luchadore, and while Carrillo seemed to keep taking it in stride, the tension was building. Underneath all of this, Ariya Daivari was trying to sow insurrection in the Lucha House Party by telling Dorado that he could and should be the breakout star, so Dorado is slowly turning heel. Carrillo and Dorado had a singles match eventually on 205 Live, with Dorado winning and being inserted into the match. I think that Carrillo should win here, and lead the Cruiserweight division as it moves down to NXT. I think that he should pin Gulak, his old nemisis and mentor, and start to feud with Dorado in a one on one scenario. He deserves to be champion, and I think it is time for that face to be leading the division. I think Gulak could win as well, as his time doesn’t really need to be over. This should be a pretty good match. Lots of high fliers in here, and the Gulak will have to work hard to keep them grounded. I think this is one of the matches that I am more looking forward to, even if it’ll end up on the pre-show.

Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross vs. Fire and Desire for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: This one was built in a pretty simple way. Fire and Desire just pinned the champions in a non title match recently. Beyond that, the only story is really between Cross and Mandy Rose, because Rose keeps telling Cross that she is ugly. Ouch. This pains me to say it, but Bliss and Cross are probably gonna win here. They haven’t held the belts for very long, and they need some wins under their belts before the two split up. I really don’t know how good this match will be, because Rose and Deville are great together, but Bliss and Cross haven’t really impressed me just yet. This could be their breakout match as a team, and I hope it will be, but I won’t get my hopes up.

The New Day vs. The Revival for the WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championships: The brunt of this feud will be explained later on when I talk about the WWE Championship match, but there are some small things to go over. While Orton feuded with Kingston, Orton decided to get some help on his side in the form of the Revival. The Revival then assisted Orton in dismantling the New Day, and they put both Big E and Xavier Woods out of action for a while. So now that Woods and Big E are back, the two want revenge. So that is the origin of this match, and it is actually one I’m looking forward to. We’ve been robbed of this match in the past, and now we can get it on a proper pay per view. I think that the Revival will win here, because I don’t think that this feud will be over, and the heels being able to take the title off of the faces is a good way to keep things exciting. I am looking forward to this match a lot, and I think it has the potential to be one of the best on the card.

Braun Strowman and Seth Rollins vs. Bobby Roode & Dolph Ziggler for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: This match is only happening because they needed an extra bit of intrigue to add to the Universal Championship match. So Strowman and Rollins both had problems with the OC, so despite the fact that they were basically feuding over the Universal Championship they decided to challenge for the Tag Team Championships, and they ended up winning. So Seth is a double champ, and Strowman made it no secret that he wanted the Universal Championship as well. To decide a #1 contender, there was a tag team turmoil match, where Roode and Ziggler were thrown together randomly but ended up winning after beating four other teams. So I think that due to the tension between Strowman and Rollins, they will choke this match and Roode and Ziggler will get the win. The tag team belts should be contested in the midcard, and Roode and Ziggler have the name value and talent to elevate them a bit. I think this could be an exciting match, but I’m pretty unsure. If they don’t overbook this match to all hell, then I bet it’ll be good or even great. But if the only thing that is important to the writers is the World Championship match, then this will probably suffer. I’ll choose to be optimistic though, and look forward to this match.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. the Miz for the WWE Intercontinental Championship: this match sorta arose from a feud between the Miz and Sami Zayn. The two argued on Miz TV about how Zayn hasn’t been performing very well, and Zayn announced that he’d be taking time away from being in the ring to start managing. His first client is Nakamura, who immediately attacked Miz. Miz received another couple of beatdowns over the course of a few weeks, until Miz decided to challenge for the belt. I think that Shinsuke wins this match, because the pairing of him and Zayn is working out really well. They need to go on a bit of a win streak, because this pairing is a breath of fresh air into both of them. I think that this could be a secret good match, because Miz can really turn it up when he wants to. I have high hopes for this, and I hope that I’m not disappointed.

AJ Styles vs. Cedric Alexander for the WWE United States Championship: this match started off in an odd way, with Styles and the OC attacking Alexander backstage one week in a seemingly random way. A few weeks later, Alexander and Styles fought in a singles match that ended in a DQ, and then Alexander pinned Styles in a 10 man tag later that night, scoring him this opportunity. I think that Alexander is going to pick up the win, just because I think AJ needs to be elevated into the main event scene. Alexander deserves a midcard run with the title, and he can put on some great matches. That belt needs to be used to elevate people again, and to make more main event stars. Hopefully this is a way to do it. This is the match that I am most looking forward to given how great these two guys are, and it’s a match I haven’t seen before. I bet this one will steal the show, and I can’t wait to see it.

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair for the WWE Smackdown Women’s Championship: originally, this match was made because Charlotte was being incredibly cocky, to the point that Bayley had to challenge her to a match. But since Bayley turned heel alongside Sasha Banks, it has now become an interesting heel on heel battle. Bayley still feels like Charlotte is too entitled and wants to put her in her place, while Charlotte says that Bayley is a snake, and wants to expose her. For a heel on heel match, I’m into this. I still think Bayley should win, especially now that she’s turned heel. She wants some momentum coming out of the heel turn, and this is how you do it. This could be a great match, and I think given the story, it just might be.

Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks for the WWE Raw Women’s Championship: this match started with Banks’ return. She came back and immediately turned heel and attacked Natalya in order to get Lynch’s attention, and she certainly did. Since then, the two have dueled on the mic, with Banks saying that Lynch was gifted her success by having her face broken, and Lynch saying that Banks was the greatest wrestler to have never been great. I’m really excited for this, because this is Lynch’s first challenger that feels like has a chance against her, and I actually think Banks will win. Banks will win this match, and then her and Lynch can feud a bit more and have Lynch win it back in a few months. There is money to be made with Banks and Bayley at the top of the women’s division as heels, and I think that is the story they should go with. I also think this will be a great match, because these two have put on awesome matches in NXT, and I suspect they can do it again.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship: This match definitely goes back far. Orton challenged Kingston for the Championship at Summerslam, and in the lead up to the match, they referenced how Orton actively held Kingston back from the main event ten years ago. However, at Summerslam, the match ended in a double count out when Orton started to taunt Kingston’s family, and the two brawled. Those attacks on Kingstons family have continued, with Orton and the Revival constantly ambushing the New Day, even taking Big E and Woods out for a time. Now things have become more and more personal over the course of the feud, with things climaxing here. I think this match will have some sort of screwy finish once again, like maybe with Orton winning by DQ. So that will be my pick, and they will probably go on to have a match at Hell in a Cell. I don’t expect much out of this match, but maybe the actual blowofff will be good.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman for the WWE Universal Championship: this match doesn’t have the strongest story, but a lot of intrigue. Strowman made his intentions known for the WWE Universal Championship, but he and Rollins continued to have problems with the OC, so they teamed up and won the belts from Anderson and Gallows. Now, their Universal Championship match is still on, but they are partners as well, very exciting. I think Rollins will win here, because he is more than likely going to take on Bray Wyatt at Hell in a Cell, and that is a match that I need to see. So Rollins will more than likely retain here, because this just isn’t the time for Strowman. Maybe this will be a good match, but I’m not looking forward to it beyond the tension that this match will cause during the tag match earlier.

[heather-in-heels]

getting the hell out of student loan debt

I lost my job at the tail end of 2014. I always remember, in vivid detail, spending the week after New Year’s at the airport waiting for a 7 AM flight. Happy 2015 to me! I didn’t have a job. I didn’t have an income. I was on my way to moving back in with my parents. Days prior, I had sold off most of my possessions and gave away the rest to a local Goodwill. And I was returning home saddled with student loans totaling then at $56k. 

It felt like I had single-handedly destroyed my life. In retrospect, I think losing that job was the best thing that could have happened to me. 

I was home, sheltered and surrounded by loved ones. I was able to mentally regroup again. In between submitting resumes and job applications, I started writing in the advertising space which later ballooned into a big column. Later that year, I went back to work again full-time. 

I had more or less resigned myself in 2015 to the idea that my student loan debt would kind of be there forever. That changed in 2016, once I was working again and back on my feet. I started thinking critically about how I wanted to repay my loans. The minimum monthly payments, stretched across seven loans, totaled $653 a month. It was like a drop of water in a bucket. The account stagnated at $56k and didn’t move. 

The only way out of this debt was to work, the hardest in my life, and to sacrifice everything. And I did it, to pay off $56k in under a year in full.

Let me share an important disclaimer now: I’m not rich. I believe money is a fluid object, I’m willing to work hard, and I love a good investment. Education is an example of a great investment. Since I first shared this story, I’ve noticed former colleagues examining my LinkedIn profile like hawks. I know it’s because of the dollar sign attached to an extremely tight timeline. I suppose it’s understandable. When you do a great thing, a successful thing, people want to know how you did it. But most don’t want to put in the work. They want the cheat codes. 

The answer I made readily visible on social media the entire time! I was working. I worked nonstop. Working allowed me to create a series of nest eggs for myself. I lined them up in a row, knowing I needed each and every egg to go all in with my loan attack plan. I didn’t have much time, either. In mid-2016, I knew I wanted to stop making minimum payments and start full repayments in 2018. 

I had two thoughts going in:

1) I was convinced I could repay everything under the 10-year loan timeframe.

2) I would later set a bet for myself, inspired by a conversation with a late friend in 2018, that I could do this, all of it, in under a year.

So, I had less than two years to prepare. Fun! 

Rather than run through the laundry list of all the financial mistakes I made prior to hitting reset on my life (you name it, I did it), I’d like to share the best and worst things that happened to me during my repayment period.

BEST

I received an incredible bonus from my side hustle last year. It was for an event I worked myself brittle to the bone for months on top of my full-time job. I remembered being so nervous, thinking the event would be a bust. We sold out. It was a huge success. The bonus wasn’t something I asked for, just a thank you from my boss. I cried when I got it because it cleared one of my loans in full. It changed my life.

How quickly I shifted gears into thinking, believing, knowing I could do this. Once I got into the head space and knew what I had to do, I was ready to go all in. 

The ever-present daily support, encouragement, and love from my friends and family. I don’t know how I would have done it without them. I really don’t. The core family unit was there for the good, bad, and ugly. My Mom encouraging me to pay off the largest loan first and my three brothers telling me not to give up. And the crazy pep talk my Dad gave me in late April that convinced me I could run up to my remaining loans like an unhinged, insane person and blow them up to smithereens. 

He called me his champion after I was done. That made my year.

WORST

Deferring and defaulting on my loans when I didn’t have a job. (AKA the “all is lost” moment.)

Repaying the private loan of $26k. It was the biggest loan with the largest interest rate. My Mount Everest. You had to scale it bit by bit. I have likened the memory of it to chipping at a block of ice to create a sculpture. Every month, I threw a few grand at that loan while I tried to take out the little guys around it. It gradually decreased to around $12k and I paid it off in full then. This was not a fast process.

The massive wildfire I lived through during the bulk of repayments. That was like watching the “hold my beer” meme come to life. I joke about it now, but the Woolsey Fire was an absolute catastrophe. I had no way of knowing when I got into the thick of my loan repayments that I would be confronted with a natural disaster that came dangerously close to burning down my home. It was extremely scary to evacuate and watch your world hang in the balance for nearly a week. During the Woolsey Fire, I had no choice but to return to minimum repayments. I needed an emergency fund just in case — and this was the greatest emergency. 

Doing it alone. Somewhere in the back of my mind I think I always knew I would be alone for this. I didn’t have cosigners. A white knight spouse was not going to save me. I had to do it for “her.” I had to rely on myself for everything, harder than anything I’ve ever done in my life. And even though I went in as prepared as I possibly could have, I did not get out of this without being mentally and physically impacted.

The sheer amount of discipline involved was far too intense. You had to be determined, disciplined, optimistic, and driven at all times. There wasn’t time to rest. I was frantically trying to kill an impossible enemy and keep up the pacing all the time. The physical toll on my health was bad. Very bad. I developed anxiety that impacted my gastrointestinal health and had to take medication to calm my stomach down. I think it will be some time yet before everything gets better internally.

The mental toll was perhaps worse. Everything about my day to day life was a series of dollar signs. I was perpetually at war in my mind where I fantasized about stopping to rest in the snow, but every bit of me screamed “DON’T DO IT GET UP!!!” Because, y’know, when you nap in the snow, you can die there. 

I had all of these brain cells telling me to keep pushing ahead coupled with an insane range of emotions running through my head. The stress I was under was crippling. I cried during dinner with a friend last month. Straight up sobbing in public for over 30 minutes, unable to turn it off. It overpowered me.

I was so exhausted, on edge, and full of emotions. I couldn’t do anything about it — like get therapy or sign up for a yoga class — because that costs money. I wasn’t about to incur a credit card balance of any kind in my quest for financial freedom.

So yeah, it was a real mess upstairs. All alone... with my loans.

Would it ever end?

Paying My Loans Alone Might Have Been The Best Thing To Happen To Me

Yeah, you read that right.

I kept reminding myself about the why. Constantly. Asking myself little questions when the going was the roughest.

Why are you doing this? Because I don’t want to celebrate my 32nd birthday with a student loan statement.

Why are you doing this? Because I want my credit score to improve. 

Why are you doing this? Because you can’t tell me I made the wrong decision to get an education.

Why are you doing this? Because I am in love with myself and will not let that girl get hurt.

Why are you doing this? Because I am losing my future to debt and I know it.

The more I kept doing this, asking questions and answering them, the more I realized that the answers contained really important granular details. 

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to grow old with student loans (although let’s be real — I didn’t). I was, and still am, changing on the inside. I knew it. This was an entire chapter of my life that needed to come to a close because keeping it going was preventing every other chapter from beginning. Sitting around with it was, essentially, my long death in the snow. On a less serious note, I’m fond of the pop culture tie-in. Game of Thrones is ending this month... and so did my loan payments. 

I’d say it’s bittersweet, but it’s not. I’m not going to miss this part of my life. It’s time for the next chapter to start. If anything, I cannot wait for this part! This chapter will contain more journeys and adventures, unlike any other narrative I had before. 

I want to write a book, something non-fiction that has multiple drafts on my desktop and has been a work in progress for years. 

i want to get a ton of dental work. Priority number one.

I want to travel. I forgot how much I like to go to places! Italy and Monte Carlo, please. Miami for Ultra 2020. Travel will beget another kind of movement, too.

I plan to aggressively pursue true love to the extent I did with my loan repayments. In terms of personal goals, this one is going to be huge. After 10 years of dating, it’s time to get out of this single person clown car. I’m enlisting the help of my girlfriends, paying for eHarmony, and deleting the free dating apps for the real thing. Calling all soulmates — I’m debt free now and did it all on my own. That’s hot! (Serious inquiries only.) 

Paying off my loan allowed me to return to my dreams. Now that I know what I’m capable of, I feel confident I can reach each one. I really do.

Living starts when you get the hell out of student debt. Do whatever it takes now, remember to keep asking yourself about the “why,” and do not give up until you’re running past the finish line.

Be your own champion!